#ngl i'm pretty proud of this trash frie post
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Bruce: [over commes] Everyone into positions. We move in on my signal
Dick, Damian and Tim: Copy that
Bruce: 1... 2-
[Jason, walking out of a warehouse while whistling and tossing his helmet up and down]
Dick: Uhh, I'm not the only one seeing this, right?
Tim: B, I thought you said he was being held hostage by Penguin?
Damian: [scoffs] Which is entirely shameful
Bruce: He was...
Jason: [coming up to them] Well, it took you dumbasses long enough
Dick: We thought you were a hostage, Hood!
Jason: Oh, yeah, I was
Bruce: How did you escape?
Jason: I just distracted Cobblepot and his goons while I slipped the restraints
Jason: Told them about the that time Robin and I duct taped Red Robin to a support beam in the attic and left him there for hours while periodically bringing him water and dry Lucky Charms
Bruce: You WHAT-
Dick: THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LUCKY CHARMS?!
[Jason and Damian snickering]
Jason: He changed the all the passwords on the Netflix account right when the new season of Bake Off came on, and wouldn't tell us what it was
Damian: It was a just punishment
Tim: [under his breath] And I'd do it again bitches
Jason: So, anyway. Their all tied up in there trying to forget the story. Have fun
Bruce: ...
Bruce: [walking away] I'm leaving. You all can deal with this
#incorrect batfamily quotes#jason todd#bruce wayne#dick grayson#damian wayne#tim drake#batfam#batbros#batdad#they would#jason and damian being Bake Off fans solidarity馃#ngl i'm pretty proud of this trash frie post
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[Damian, Jason and Tim all putting up Thanksgiving decorations]
Damian: Has anyone seen Grayson? Didn't Pennyworth tell him to assist us in this meaningless task?
Jason: Ehh, I'm sure he's around here somew-
Dick: [kicking in the door of the room] 馃幎Hey I just met you, and this is gravy, but here's my stuffing, so carve me maybe馃幎
Tim: Oh, fuck no. Not again! [runs out of the room]
Jason: [covering his ears] Every fucking year!
Damian: Grayson! Cease this infernal racket at once!
Dick: Oh, come om Dami! Puns are my thing, I'm just being me. And you know what they say-
Jason: Shit NO-
Dick: I YAM who I YAM
Damian: Do NOT say another word-
Dick: In fact, you could say that I was just CORN this way
Damian: GRAYSON-
Dick: Really guys, I'm just trying to get the GOURD times rolling
Jason: Dickface, I swear if you so much as THINK about sayi-
Dick: [with a shit eating grin] If you think I'm done, you've got another thing STUFFING
[Damian and Jason both lunge at Dick]
-
[10 minutes later]
Tim: [dragging Bruce in] See?! Make it STOP! I can't take another year of this!
[Damian and Jason, screaming at and wrestling Dick while he continues to make Thanksgiving puns]
Bruce: [sigh] Every year. Every single year...
Tim: Do something with your problem sons. They're giving me a headache!
Bruce: [under his breath] Maybe I should have listened to Alfred about adopting so many kids...
Tim, Damian, Jason and Dick: WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!
Bruce: [tired sigh]
#incorrect batfamily quotes#damian wayne#dick grayson#tim drake#jason todd#bruce wayne#batbros#batdad#batfam#thanksgiving special#ngl i'm pretty proud of this trash frie post#this is so freaking long
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