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l-sincline · 3 months

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Sacrifice - Never Turn Back Zine

Hello! Here is my piece for the wonderful Never Turn Back Zine. It was a pleasure to work with Shadow's semi-hero route and I hope you all enjoy!

AO3 HERE

The hum of the ship’s thrusters felt more like an indescribable static to him. A muffling of the thoughts in his head as he stared blankly down at his shoes, arms crossed over his chest. He frowned– deeper, he couldn’t remember the last time he smiled– and flicked an ear as if that was going to get rid of the deafening static. The white noise.

When he looked up he was met with the vast expanse of space. Bright balls of light shining against its blue, almost black, nothingness. In the distance?

“Space Colony Ark…” He muttered to himself. Though its features a bit foolish, it still sent a chill down his spine. It stuck out like a sore thumb against the rest of the universe. How something so clearly man made had lasted this long out in the unforgiving desolate nature of space he couldn’t be sure. Regardless, it stayed.

“This place, it’s so familiar. But why…”

He trailed off as he stared at the Colony. Any harder and he would burn holes into it. He uncrossed his arms and clenched his teeth, a slight hiss coming through at the sudden throb of pain at his forehead. As if his body moved on its own:

“This is where I…”

As he gripped his forehead and his eyes scrunched shut, he was met with a deafening ringing in his ears. The cacophony partnered with a bright, white light. Then- he was falling.

That wind pulsed through his fur and quills, when he cracked his eyes open all he saw was the dark blue sky and sparkling stars- the colony a small dot in the vast expanse of things. The ringing in his ears only grew louder as his body began to burn. The pain was something he wasn’t entirely used to– it felt like he was melting as he sunk closer and closer to the Earth’s atmosphere. The somewhat peaceful atmosphere of space replaced quickly with the ugly reality of what falling from space to Earth would feel like. It would hurt even the Ultimate Lifeform.

Even as he felt at his highest- it burned. The power of the Chaos Emeralds seemed to abandon him, floating away as if gravity didn’t affect them. Earth had gripped him tight, and with its unforgiving hand it dragged him back down to its harsh arms. That place that Maria had loved so much, it salivated at his demise.

When the pain became unbearable, when he opened his mouth wide and screeched, when any noise he could’ve made would’ve only been covered by that awful ringing in his ears, Shadow remembered.

He remembered fighting alongside Sonic, he remembered all he had gone through to save Earth. For Maria, he’d told himself, but a part of it was for him as well. And in the end– for Maria, for Earth, for himself– he’d…

“...Died?”

Sacrificed himself.

Who had he been in his past to make that decision? It was out of body, in a way, to imagine a time where one had been so dedicated to a cause they would sacrifice themselves. Now he felt weak- torn between two sides. Two sides desperate for him to choose. Even before he had… died, Shadow had made his decision for Maria. Everything was for her. Her memory. How he wanted to be remembered by her, even if she couldn’t remember any more.

Would Maria really have been happy about his death? Had he really done that for her? His head pounded in pain again as Shadow considered the weight in his heart and stomach that seemed to sit with him permanently. That weight that seemed to multiply whenever he thought of Maria. The wish that sat in the back of his head, wishing that she was still here with him. She’d know what to do now, he thought, she was good. She was always good. She always made the right decision. To him, Maria was the example of perfect purity. A soul that knew no harm. And he was… him.

Shadow was one who could only be good when he died. Every other time he was bad. Wasn’t that it? Wasn’t it such that no matter what choice he made, he would always be bad? He was the bad guy. When you’re the bad guy, the Earth considers you one for the rest of time. Or until you die, apparently.

Behind him, someone enters the cabin. Muffled, buried in his ears, he can hear them. They speak light heartedly to him, like life is a piece of cake, like there isn’t anything to be worried about.

Is that what it takes to be a hero? To be nonchalant about everything? To act like everything is no big deal? Shadow supposed at the end of the day being the hero was being loved by everyone. This was certainly not true for him.

And then he was back at the beginning. He was loved by Maria. But was that enough? To be loved by someone long gone? Someone you spent most days longing for? Someone that had broken you enough to leave you yearning for them this many years later? How long until he got to move on? But the act of moving on was guilty. He didn’t want to move on without her.

All these molds that the universe had left for him to fit into. The hero. The villain. The constantly grieving. The wanderer. The asshole. The quiet one. But in any given one he would need to lose one part of himself to fit.

He couldn’t be a hero, he couldn’t be unconditionally good and loving and nonchalant and beloved as Sonic was. He couldn’t be the villain, he couldn’t curse this Earth that Maria loved with any more wrath and hate than it already faced. He couldn’t keep grieving as his happy memories came back, as he thought about how Maria wanted what was best for him. He couldn’t keep wandering when he knew Mobians– his friends– had missed him. He couldn’t be the asshole when he felt like he had kindness to give. He couldn’t be quiet when he felt like he really just wanted to scream at the top of his lungs.

“You up for this, Shadow?” Sonic’s voice breaks through clearly, dissipating the ringing that had been assaulting his ears. Shadow snaps his head in surprise to look at the blue hedgehog.

He was him. That was all. That was all he needed right now. Maybe one day he’d come to terms with it, or maybe he wouldn’t. Maybe he’d feel like an out of place puzzle piece for the rest of his life. But right now he had to make a decision. Maybe it wasn’t one that would make him a hero or a villain, but it was one that made him Shadow.

As Sonic moves on, Shadow stays. He would face this head on, because that's all he could really do. No turning back, just moving forward redefining himself. With a final look out the window into the darkness of space, Shadow turns on his heel and follows Sonic.

#sinclines writing #shadow the hedgehog #sonic fanfic #never turn back zine

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neverturnbackzine · 5 months

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💥 Happy 18th Anniversary to Shadow The Hedgehog (2005)!💥 Want to celebrate this hedgehog's big break? Check our our zine featuring artwork and writing for all 10 paths in the game HERE! Only available till January 15th!

(Art by @kingprinceleo)

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic the hedgehog #sonic zine #fandom zine #shadow 2005 #sonic fanzine #never turn back zine #sth #shth 2005

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theglassespredicament · 3 months

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time to let this pass, a mini thursday zine

images are by me, text is from understanding in a car crash and someone who isn't me

if anyone wants to download/print it you can find it here !!

#realized i never posted this but i quite like how it turned out so !!#also not watt but was very much inspired by everyone's zine work #love all of the photos but the centerfold (backshot) is by far the one i'm proudest of #these were done on a photo scanner so getting to an angle where i could lay back on it was. quite a challenge #also tattoos are by tutter lmao #mcr tatt adds. a lot i feel #thursday band #geoff rickly #full collapse #someone who isn't me #zines #scanography #photography #tuttertalks #(who proofed it lol)#linntalks

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andva-ri · 7 months

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☆ Preview of my comic for the @neverturnbackzine - a fanzine for the game Shadow the Hedgehog 2005 ☆

Get the zine and look at the ultimate talent of all artists and writers who contributed!

The proceeds from The Never Turn Back Zine will be donated to The International Society for Traumatic Stress Studies (ISTSS)

#shadow the hedgehog #sonic #never turn back zine #shadow the hedgehog 2005 #shadow 2005 #sonic zine #sonic fanzine #myne

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roger-paladino · 1 year

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Feeling so normal about Roger before I passed out I started writing a full timeline for his life

#hes so silly but he's got such a profoundly sad life #as someone who didnt care about hard proof #but wanted to share the beauty of the supernatural they all lived side by side with #watching him said in cystw #he grew to want recognition for his work and its so interesting to me #like im sure he always wanted to be known for it but also back in his indie zine days #he had a network of likeminded friends by his side making the #zine together but he loses that and im sure that was what had pushed him to seek the appreciation of people believing him and listening him #he was probably so lonely in those years before he died #i think when he started trying to find Habit it turned into his whole life #everything lead to trying to catch this monster. the worst of the worst. and Habit probably urged him in some way because how fun is it to #have someone obsessed with you. obsessed with trying to kill you.#the entire way their final encounter plays out just feels like Habit playing with him. pushing his buttons. hes just trying to give Roger #enough hope of getting out to make him fight to share his findings but not enough to let him actually get away.#even having him write that final statement. doing what he loved (writing) and sharing his information like he wanted. but it was never #shown. and when it was it was long after anyone needed to see it.#.txt #edit: i can't fix the tags lmao oops #i quoted the put me on rhe map thing but it broke a little

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sp0o0kylights · 4 months

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Give meee: an Eddie who went into a small little bookshop on an Indie trip and stumbled across an in person fandom meeting.

It's mostly Star Trek, and also mostly women, but the stories they have are nothing like Eddie's ever read.

He's barely a teenager, and already protective of himself and his real identity--but everything he's ever wanted is written down, right here, on a little zine with Kirk and Spock doodled on the cover.

They’re not--it’s not obvious, that they’re what he is, but the story itself is blatant and Eddie ends up being so obviously close to tears, he accidentally outs himself without ever saying a word.

(He also ends up on the mailing list, then being sent home with several hand printed copies of all kinds of zines.)

Eddie would remain on this list well past his third senior year in high school.

Past bats, and Vecna and Steve fucking Harrington.

Flash forward to his first apartment.The tiny one he shares with Steve when they followed Nancy and Robin to college.

Steve knows Eddie’s gay.

Or rather, Steve has been told, but Eddie's still pretty clammed up about it. He's not yet where Robin is, ready to bemoan her loveless existence while draped over their crappy, thrifted couch.

He makes jokes and he flirts and he absolutely says things he shouldn't, but none of it is real.

It's flash. Showmanship.

It's the persona that yes, is him, but Eddie consciously built it. There’s nothing soft or gooey there, nothing anyone can use to hurt him.

So when he comes home and sees that plain, padded envelope with the neatly printed label on the counter, torn wide open and flat without its contents?

Eddie panics.

His heart thunders in his chest, vision tunneling as adrenaline kicks through him.

He wants to bolt-- should bolt--except ever since he almost died his brain no longer obeys him.

Not when it comes to running, anyway.

Instead it fights him to a standstill, freezing his feet right to the living room floor.

The urge is still there.

To run, and save face the cowards way.

Vanish before Steve could get at a part of him that had once kept Eddie out of Wayne’s trailer for two days, until the old man had hunted him down and made him come home, huffing about how he’d love Eddie no matter what but he better never disappear like that again.

(Which Eddie did anyway, and of everything that happened with Vecna, it’s that he regrets the most. The stories he heard of Wayne putting up posters. Squaring off with angry, too-righteous townies, and--)

A sniffle jerks him out of his thoughts.

Eddie gasps, entirely unsure of when he stopped breathing. Stumbles back and turns, right in time for Steve to come out of his room and amble down their hallway.

One hand rubs at his eyes, and the other is--the other has…

Eddie identifies the cheaply printed, stapled zine immediately. It's one he's wanted to read for a while now, solely because it features a story about Kirk and Spock being stuck in a cave together on a planet that has bat-like, vicious animals on it.

Kirk gets bitten after something goes wrong with the transporter and, look, it’s carthiatic okay!? Sue a guy for wanting to read a romance about a situation he identifies with!

Steve looks up from the zine and startles.

For a second his eyes go dark and flat, the same way Eddies and Robins and Nancy's and everyone's does when caught off guard.

It's gone in a flash though, Steve visibly relaxing when he clocks that it's just Eddie.

He keeps the zine pressed to his sweater clad chest, and huffs out a laugh that's half forced and half pure relief.

“Fuck Eds, you scared me! I didn’t know you could be quiet.”

“Uh huh.” Eddie manages, voice sounding totally and absolutely normal and not at all ten octaves higher than it usually is.

They stare at each other for a second. Long enough that Steve's eyebrows crinkle in the middle, which is the first hint that he’s beginning to worry, and Eddie really cannot handle Steve being worried right now.

“What's--” Eddie’s voice cracks and he coughs to recover. “what's that?”

Steve frowns at him for a moment, until Eddie gestures at the zine in his hands.

“Oh!”

Steve holds it up, as if to show it off.

“It's a little book Robin got in the mail. It has a bunch of stories in it. They're normally boring as fuck but this one's from Star Trek.”

Hearing the words ‘Star Trek’ out of Steve’s mouth shouldn’t be weird, not anymore, when Eddie and Dustin have been on a two man mission to nerdify Harrington as much as possible, but it still kicks like a mule to hear him say such things without any prompting.

“You know what Star Trek is?”

“Eddie,” Steve tuts, tongue clicking in his mouth. “everyone knows what Star Trek is. It’s nerd shit, but like, old nerd shit. My grandparents used to watch it when I stayed over. This?”

He shakes the zine, so hard Eddie wants to snatch it away from him.

“This isn't nerd shit. This is excellent.”

Steve gives the zine an appreciative glance and hell, maybe Eddie accidentally walked into another dimension.

He’s been trying to get Steve to read more, rediscover the joys of books the public school system does its best to destroy, but until now Steve hasn’t really taken to it.

Enjoys when Eddie reads aloud sometimes, and has started to bug Robin to do it for him too, but otherwise?

Eddie’s nerve seen him with anything that had the written word on it that wasn’t a cooking or car related magazine.

“Honestly,” Steve’s saying, “I think Robs fucked up, this isn't her style at all. She’s gonna be pissed.”

He eyes the thing appreciatively, like the gift it is.

“I'm stealing it the second she figures that out.” He adds decisively.

“You like it?” Eddie asks.

“Mmm.”

“Even though it's--it's got…Kirk…”

Steve's frowning at him again. “What?”

“It's queer man. It's really queer.”

Steve peers at him, the crinkle back in his eyebrows.

“I know. Wait, how do you--”

And well. It’s now or never.

“It's mine.” Eddie says in a rush.

“No it's not.” Steve scoffs, and okay, maybe this is a dream. Eddie pinched himself twice already, but perhaps a third time would wake him up?

(It does not.)

“it was even addressed to Robin. Well,” Steve has one hand on a hip now, his default position when arguing, “Robbie, but she goes by that sometimes.”

Which Robin does, but not in the fucking mail.

Without a word, Eddie turns and goes for the envelope the zine came in.

Steve follows, invading Eddie’s space to peer over his shoulder (and that’s Eddie’s fault too, that closeness, but he didn’t think it would be turned on him in a moment like this--)

There's a sticker on the envelope’s label.

It’s barely hanging on, half of it curled into the air. Round and yellow, with little black lines, it becomes immediately obvious that one of Robin's smiley face stickers has migrated again.

They're all over the apartment. Remnants of a phase she went through after she stole a roll of them from her and Steve’s job at a local toy store.

This one had clearly jumped ship from its original spot (likely on the ceiling somewhere), and was now firmly over the E in Eddie's name.

‘Ddie’ still isn't exactly ‘Obbie’ but--

Steve leans around, snatching the envelope up and bringing it close to his face.

Far too close, like he can't read it, eyes squinting as he examines the label--and suddenly Eddie knows exactly what happened.

He laughs, an explosion of noise that's half hysterical and half disbelief.

Steve looks at him.

“What?”

“Oh my God,” Eddie says, one finger jabbing in the air in the vague direction of Steve’s nose. “I told you you needed glasses!”

“I do not!” Steve protests immediately, but his eyes are darting around the envelope.

He’s scrambling to figure out what Eddie’s seeing, trying desperately to find a hole that can prove himself right.

Eddie decides to help him, by plucking the smiley sticker off the envelope.

“See?” He jeers, and shit okay, maybe his life isn’t over just yet. “It says Eddie, not Robbie!”

“You guys have got to start using your government names for this shit.” Steve bitches, but it’s weak.

Eddie feels a grin coming on, and lets it overtake his face.

“So...Kirk and Spock huh?”

“They’re cute.” Steve defends instantly, before sighing his defeat and tossing the envelope on the table.

The zine he keeps in his hands.

Eddie crosses his arms and leans against their rickety table. “Even though they’re both guys?”

“I thought we were past this!” Steve whines. “I went to a gay bar with Robin last weekend!”

Which is news to Eddie.

“You didn’t invite me?” He gasps, feigning hurt by putting a hand over his heart.

Truthfully he still hasn’t fully recovered--is play acting himself, almost, but is rapidly coming around to the idea of Steve appreciating queer fanfiction.

“We did!” Steve rolls his eyes so dramatically his whole head moves. “We absolutely did, You said,”

Here Steve’s voice pitches into a mockery of Eddie’s that he will not give him points for, even if it is a little hilarious, “Me? At some loser bar? Fuck no, I’ve got a campaign to write. Starbuck, don’t you have homework?”

“I didn’t know that was a gay bar!”

“You did! Robin told you!”

“Okay well, I wasn’t listening!”

“Clearly. I keep telling you we need a fucking--system or, I don’t know, a code word or something!”

“Yeah well, when you wanna make us a safe word for conversations, big boy, you let me know.”

They’re both laughing a little now, this argument veering into familiar territory, with Eddie not really listening and Steve mocking him for it later. (As well as vice versa, with startling regularity.)

“You really like it though?” Eddie says after the laughter winds down, gesturing to the zine still clutched in Steve’s hand.

“Yeah.” Steve confirms, easy as he’s said anything else. Like this isn’t embarrassing, or almost worse than the time Wayne found Eddie’s porno mags and alphabetized them as a joke.

“It's part of a mail tree. I’m supposed to send it on to the next person when I’m done with it. I make copies though,” Eddie rushes to add, because Steve is now clutching the little booklet to his chest in horror, as if Eddie was about to rip it out of his hands. “If you like I’ll show you my other ones?”

Steve eases his grip, giving Eddie the little smile he makes that makes his stomach flip.

“That’d be cool.”

(Later, Steve pokes at Eddie’s thigh from where they’re both sprawled on Eddie’s bed, Steve having switched the new zine out for one of Eddie’s copies. “Are you going to laugh at me if I ask you to read some of these aloud?”

“Only if you don’t laugh when I ask you to take me to that gay bar.”

“Deal, but on the grounds you’re barred from making fun of my flirting attempts. Robin doing it was bad enough.”

“Well you deserve it if you’re hitting on women at a gay bar, Stevie.”

“I wasn't hitting on women you asshole.” Steve says and oh.

Oh.

Eddie feels the floor drop out from under him for the second time that day.

At least this time it’s not fear that thunders through him, but possibility.)

#steddie #pre steddie #eddie reads star trek slash fiction #kirk/spock #mentioned anyway lol #Steve Harringtons Terrible Fucking Eyesight #(me too buddy me too)#steve harrington #eddie munson #zines #0o0 fanfics #stranger things

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dreamofbecoming · 1 year

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listen i know we all love steve “completely ignorant of queer culture to the point that bisexuality is a surprise” harrington being roasted and educated in turns by robin and eddie, yadda yadda, good stuff. i read “they made a horror version of rocky?” in a fic recently and cackled. also a big fan of “he knew he was bi from the start and just never talked about it” as a trope, love it excellent well done

but what about steve who realizes after starcourt that the most important person in his life now has this thing that’s a major part of her life that he knows nothing about, and what if he fucks it up? what if he says something ignorant or rude by accident, and hurts her? what if he loses her because he didn’t know the right thing to say? what if he can’t keep her safe because he doesn’t know what to look out for? absolutely fucking not, this steve says

and listen she’d never say anything, because she can tell that he can tell how much she likes teasing him and teaching him things, so he plays dumb, and she thinks it’s very sweet. but she notices when the zines she keeps under her bed that she buys at that one secret bookshop in indy when she can sneak away on family trips start going missing, always one at a time, and replaced in a few days with another disappearing. and she finds the new ones he must have gone to buy the weekend she was at her aunt’s house hidden in the back of his closet when she goes to steal one of his sweaters. and she notices when he slips more of her queerer movie recommendations into his personal take home pile rather than the movie night stack when he thinks she’s not looking.

she doesn’t notice when he drives to indianapolis after she tries to explain to him why she can’t just ask out a cute girl, tries to impress on him the fear attached to every moment of attraction that he simply has never had to feel, but later she finds a crumpled receipt from a diner in one of his jacket pockets when she’s looking for his keys, and the address is across the street from the bar the gorgeous woman at the bookstore told her about, the one she memorized the address of but hasn’t worked up the guts to think about visiting, and she knows he must have gone looking for a place like that, must have been trying to understand, must have been scoping it out to make sure it was somewhere she could feel safe, after she told him she never had.

so when eddie nearly pops a blood vessel when they clock each other and she mentions that steve is the only person she’s ever come out to before, her hackles come up. because she gets it, she does, he’s only known king steve until recently, so it makes sense that he would be afraid, be concerned for her safety.

but steve is her person, and no one- no one- has ever made her feel as protected or as cared for as he does. no one has ever tried as hard to understand her, no one has ever put so much work into making her feel safe and seen and loved. and she thinks maybe even if no one else ever does, that’s ok. because she has steve, and more importantly steve has her, and that means no one gets to question his ally credentials in her presence without a dressing down to remember, no matter how well they mean or how recently they helped save the world.

(and maybe she’s not as surprised as she could be when he figures out bisexuality all on his own, because she’s been reading all the same pamphlets he has, after all. and she’s seen the way he looks at eddie, i mean come on. maybe no one else has noticed, but then, nobody knows steve harrington like she does.)

#stranger things #steve harrington #robin buckley #platonic stobin #steddie #(if you squint)#this got away from me #i just really love love giving steve a bit more credit yk?#like yes he’s very stupid and he has a history of being self absorbed #and we love that about him #he’s very flawed and that makes him interesting #but i really feel like one of his defining traits is his need to be useful to the people he loves #combine that with his abandonment issues and i really feel like he would be scared of fucking up and losing robin #and yeah he would play dumb like he does with dustin and d&d #but i don’t believe he knows nothing about d&d after all this time and i don’t believe he would let himself know nothing about queer culture #i’m just so so attached to the idea of steve who knows that teasing him for being dumb is his friends’ love language with him #so he pretends to be dumber than he is so they have chances to explain things to him #also stobin sharing clothes is so so so important to me just putting that out there #anyway i just think they’re neat #my writing

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