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skyisepic · 7 months

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A BASIL OMORI RANT BECAUSE I’M SICK AND TIRED OF THE FREQUENT MISCHARACTERIZATION!!

TW for mentions of suicide, murder, death, and other general gorey topics + spoilers for the plot of the game OMORI!

I’d argue that the scene pictured above is one of the most well-known scenes within the Omori fandom. Basil is a very popular character, and with this comes a lot of mischaracterization in serious scenes like this. Something I’ve seen a lot, mainly on the TikTok side of the fandom, is people misinterpreting Basil’s intentions in this scene. They say that his attacks were not meant to harm Sunny, but rather “Something.” This is very far from the truth - Basil not only wanted to harm Sunny, he wanted to KILL Sunny.

(Note: Sorry if my thoughts are a little jumbled! I’m just copy and pasting a script I wrote)

Basil believed that the only way to get rid of Something was through death. In his eyes, it was the only escape. That is the reason he commits suicide in the neutral endings — he is trying to free himself of his guilt, which of course manifests in the form of his Something hallucinations.

During the pre-battle dialogue, we see Basil insisting that he will “save” Sunny. He wants to save Sunny of Something in the same way he will save himself — through death. Basil was going to kill himself that day no matter what, but realized upon seeing Sunny come into his room when he was about to commit that he could "save" Sunny as well the same way he'd promised to. It would pretty much end up being a double suicide — Basil planned to kill himself immediately after killing Sunny.

Basil immediately begins attacking Sunny once the battle begins. He is directly targeting Sunny, hence his battle dialogue being "BASIL reaches inside SUNNY." Again, he is directly targeting SUNNY. During the battle, we see him ask Sunny to stop struggling because he wants to make his job easier for the both of them. While yes, he likely attacked Sunny's eye because he saw Something in it, the purpose of this attack was still to be fatal.

Quickly debunking two arguments I've seen about the last paragraph:

"Taking Sunny's eye out was an accident!" This one isn't character-based or anything, it's just based on common sense. You don't ACCIDENTALLY gouge out someone's eye. Duh.

"Basil didn't realize he was hurting Sunny! He was just trying to attack Something!" Again, common sense. Basil saw Something BEHIND Sunny. Sunny's Something is referred to as "Something behind you" by Basil. All of Sunny's wounds were sustained on his face. If Basil was targeting something BEHIND Sunny, again, what would be the reason for quite literally gouging out his eye?

"Basil didn't realize he'd be saving Sunny of the guilt by killing him, though. He actually saw Something as a real thing. He was targeting SOMETHING in the fight, not Sunny." Yes, it is true that Basil saw Something as a real thing and not just a manifestation of his guilt. However, he also puts blame on Something for everything that happened with him, Sunny, and Mari. He knows this thing is here because of what happened with Mari and will never go away because he cannot undo what he's done. It will continue to torment him and Sunny until they can find a way to free themselves of the guilt, and because fessing up about what he did is completely out of the question for Basil, the only other option is death.

This wasn’t meant to be rude or say that other people are 100% wrong, sorry if it came across that way! I’m just sharing my thoughts on how I believe Basil was meant to be interpreted. Please feel free to argue against or correct me, I am by no means a psychologist or good at character analysis. Please be respectful, though!

#omori #basil omori #omori basil #character analysis #im still bad at tagging #ill probably add some screenshots i used for this in a reblog or wtv #sky’s epic thoughts

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aqqleshiqqing-archive · 2 years

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but yeah! i’m so excited to hear more abt hero from you! i haven’t been able to check any moots blogs recently so tell me about hero and you! i think it’s in a /p way? info dump to me abt it :00 also just tell me abt your hyperfixation on omori anyways! i love talking abt the game

you mentioning aksel and august being very similar to hero and irl, omg they are i don’t know how i never realized this!! but yeah i think they’d identify with the characters a lot. especially since i may or may not give aksel a crush character for ooo story 👀. either way, i love expanding fankid stories past like my s/i and f/o! so aksels gonna have his own dumb adventures (where he babysits everyone else /j)

yup!! it's very and super /p ive been feeling very attached to hero lately hehe but bestie along with hero being my comfort/platonic i accidentally picked up the crush card and looked at captain sp.aceboy SBDBDJSJJSNSKDJDKDKKS HAHA <33333333

oh the pleasure to talk about hero even more is ALL MINE AHAHSBSBSHSHSHSHSH HEHEEHE

I honestly don't know how to put this into words!!! I just knew I was gonna like him!! also how is the fandom telling me he's the most underrated WHAT

hero is actually, uhm. like my first actual comfort character!! I never really considered any comfort charas because a lot of them would be my romantics, so I couldn't really classify them without being ALWAYS romantic (im just being picky don't correct me/lh) so hero being like, this new character that I enjoy so much without feeling the romantic aspect makes me so!!! 🥺 akakdkakkea I LITERALLY MADE EVERYONE IN MY DISCORD SERVER HAVE A PHOTO OF HERO IN A "take this, it's too dangerous" MEME AHSBEJDJRJJSKE

dude I swear I keep saying this exact line everytime, it's either in here or in discord LMAO but I've always liked characters who are loser romantics/charmers. applicable in /r and /p!! I just think it's a funny character design, ONLY IN FICTION do not go flirt irl it's very weird SHDVFHDJDHDJJS but when I saw hero, he works in the charmer aspect YET he's the most polite and gentlemanly type and it's a very new concept to me and I love it very much!!

though I feel like a lot of omori's perspectives of them in the headspace is greatly exaggerated

(like kel being so stupid but he's really a wonderful silly guy in the real world; or how sunny has a crush on aubrey and that has been emphasized in headspace in which aubrey is evidently showing her puppy crush on him)

so I feel like hero being literally loved by the whole world of headspace is just sunny's perception of him and I guess I dwell a little more on headspace hero (but that's not to say I don't care about real world hero; ABSOLUTELY NOT. MY BOY HAS GROWN UP LOOK AT HIM) oh I need to mention his dynamic with mari is what really sold me into liking him. he can be such a flirt to mari but is the one to get flustered instead because we all know mari is girlboss SBSBDHSJDJKEKS

there's just so many tidbits about hero I can keep going on about, but I bet there wouldn't be enough room to respond to other topics 🤧 okay but last thing, I want to have a friend like hero, someone who can tell me everything is okay, and I in return can be the one to make him feel confident about himself. he's gone through a lot and.... yeah. that piano scene with hero all by himself got me really bad /pos

ANYWAYS LOOKIE LOOKIE ITS HIIIIIIMMMMMMM

MOVING ON!!! it's definitely my recent and newfound love for hero is what made me wanted to mention how similar aksel is to hero AHBSBSHDHSJDHS LIKE rmbr that drawing you did for me where he's carrying susan??? I FR THOUGHT OF HERO AND AUBREY THERE LIKE 😭😭😭 THEN I WAS LIKE WAIT ISNT AUGUST AND AKSEL LIKE HERO AND KEL AJSHHSJEJEJEKE

BY ALL MEANS DO TELL ME WHAT U HAVE IN STORE FOR THEM HEHEHE 🥺🥺🥺 I MISS THEM <3

#casually treading the line of spoiler-y and non spoilers in this reply 😇 PDOFJFJFJRJOSKFOFPR #🍀 inbox #avery tag #gush post? gush post.#🍀 gush post #{p}: 🍳

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sunnysviolin · 3 years

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So far you seem to have a really good grasp on everyone’s character so I just wanted to hear your thoughts on this: when people talk about hero’s reaction to the truth it never feels quite right, like it feels lacking, said thing that’s missing is the fact it was sunny that did it, Mari’s beloved little brother that hero knows loved Mari so much too, I never see people bring up that point which is sad because I think it would create a interesting conflict within hero because on one hand sunny killed Mari on the other hand it was an accident and after cooling down a little he realizes that Mari would probably want him to not hurt sunny over it plus even though sunny killed her he’s also the last piece of her left (on a different note my hc is that hero sees sunny as a brother in law even though he never got the chance to marry Mari) so does what I’m trying to make sense? I’m willing to clarify on some things if needed

No I totally get you nonnie!! For this I would direct you to my fic Promises (Here’s a direct link) It’s the very first thing I ever wrote for Omori, and it’s probably the thing I’m most proud of from this fandom to date. My perspective on this is really personal, and based a lot on a very intimate situation. I’m gonna put this in my normal style, but this is more meta and less headcanony So

Why I Think Hero Forgives Sunny (And Honestly Kind of Quickly)

I personally really don’t like any iteration of “Hero hits/punches/hurts” Sunny. It makes me feel really uncomfortable because I find it to be intensely out of character, and misses one of the main points of Hero’s character

Think about the situation that we first meet Hero (Real World Hero) in. Basil is drowning. Sunny is drowning. Aubrey pushed Basil and she’s the reason that they’re both dying. Kel is screaming at her.

What does Hero do? He saves both of the boys, makes sure they’re breathing and alive, and he tells Sunny that they need to get Basil somewhere safe and dry. He does not condemn Aubrey or take the time to even say an unkind word to her. In fact he continues to be really worried for her until they get to her house

I see Aubrey and Basil at the lake as a direct parallel to Sunny and Mari. I also see Kel and Hero’s argument as a softer (but still there) parallel. I think it was really purposeful of Omocat to give both Hero and Aubrey (the two characters who would be most likely to react in a harshly negative way to the Truth) a situation in which they were Sunny.

Hero and Aubrey were the ones in the wrong in those situations. Aubrey pushed Basil for no reason other than she was angry. Hero was grieving and he snapped at his little brother who was in the same exact situation. Both of them immediately regretted it. Both of them got the chance to apologize and take it back. Sunny didn’t get that.

So I really cover this better in Promises tbh....Go read it I swear it’s not too long but it hits exactly how I think Hero would react and why

Ultimately I don’t see Hero not forgiving Sunny, and I don’t see him like distancing from Sunny. Not after the last three days, and the Basil/Sunny fight, and everything he realized over the journey of the game. I don’t think it would be easy, there would defintiely be times he needs to walk away or scream into his pillows and weep and grieve, but losing Sunny?

No Hero would never be able to lose anyone again. Not like he lost Mari.

As for Hero seeing Sunny as a little brother...yeah absolutely. I think that’s another reason why Kel continued to reach out to Sunny for all those years. Kel also sees Sunny as a brother

I’ve covered this a little bit, and I’m working on an AU right now (not published yet) that really deep dives into this idea, but like I see the four of them have something incredibly deep.

Hero and Mari knew their lives would be spent together. Kel and Sunny grew up tied together because of their siblings and the love they shared.

So I grew up with a best friend like Kel and Sunny. She practically lived at my house, I saw her every single day (like literally every single day) she slept over at my house more often than she did her own, and one day she just stopped talking to me. Out of no where. Complete cut off.

We reconnected when we were 17/18 just like Sunny and Kel and we immediately fell back into lock step. There was no resentment that I thought I might have. It was just ‘oh there you are I’ve been missing you’ and we’ve been joined at the hip again ever since.

Hero and Kel and Sunny are forever intertwined now, a deeper connection because they lost their girl. There was never a point where Sunny wasn’t “the baby” (This is also why Kel has such strong middle child energy before even becoming a middle child)

They were a group of six, but there was something different between the four of them. Aubrey and Basil were dear desperately loved friends, but Hero and Kel were Mari and Sunny’s family.

That kind of love makes you have strength you don’t think you have- the strength to continue to reach out to a closed door day after day and the strength to forgive someone for the ultimate accident.

#See I say all of this #Y'all don't even knowwwww whats coming with Hero's Journey wit the Occult #Nonnie if you wanted to see a different perspective on how Hero feels I would check that series out #I'm posting the next installation tonight #omori #omori hero #omori sunny #omori kel #omori aubrey #omori mari #heromari #omori meta #omori headcanon

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peppermintbee · 3 years

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OMORI’s poor writing (Part 2)

Once again, if you are a big fan of OMORI, this review is not for you. Treasure this game, love it, recommend it, make fan art, buy the merch, do what you will with it. I am not here to take OMORI away from anyone. Based on the overwhelmingly positive reviews on Steam, I know that my opinion is in the minority.

However, just as the fans have the right to praise the game, I have the right to examine it, criticize it, and explain why it failed to provide a compelling experience. This is second part of my review where I will tackle OMORI’s problematic themes and disrespectful appropriation of mental health.

[ See Part 1: Plot Writing Lies ]

(Note: I use “OMORI” in all-caps for the game title, and “Omori” in title case for the character name.)

Spoilers and criticism below.

Part 2: OMORI’s message is mishandled and distasteful

OMORI provides a warning that it depicts scenes of depression, anxiety, and suicide. Because the game includes these scenes, I assumed these mental health issues are presented in a way that is meaningful and respectful.

However, that is not the case.

Despite having depictions of such, this game is not really about depression, anxiety, or even suicide. It’s about committing a horrible crime, lying about it, and getting over the guilt.

1. Suicide as a game mechanic

Suicidal thoughts are intrusive, terrifying, and painful. As well as ending the victim's life, suicide wreaks havoc on the lives of those who once knew them. It is often a taboo topic, but discussing such matters is an important step to understanding and preventing it. Video games are a medium well suited to approaching such dark topics.

Unfortunately, OMORI does not handle the topic of suicide well at all.

First, suicide is written as a unavoidable game mechanic that seems to have been included for shallow reasons such as aesthetic and shock value. To leave Sunny’s headspace and wake up, you--as a player--must direct him to stab himself in the stomach.

But why? It’s not like waking up involves some sort of major sacrifice. In fact, waking up is something that is more or less unavoidable. Reality should be something that snatches Sunny away from his headspace against his will, perhaps as an encroaching darkness that Sunny can run from, but never truly escape. But instead, facing reality is something you are forced to opt into in the most needlessly violent way possible.

Forcing you--as a player--to literally commit suicide just to wake up from a dream is a pointless, distasteful, and disrespectful action that sets a precedent for suicide not being taken seriously in this game. (And it isn’t.)

In the black space, Omori is pressured to kill a cat. In that scene, regardless of your choice, you are forced to kill yourself. However, the act of stabbing yourself has been seen so many times at that point that it has completely lost any impact. Who cares about suicide when it’s been reduced to just a means of travel?

Lastly, if you fail to defeat the final boss, Sunny commits suicide in the real world. However, this is not a cutscene, it is once again something that you--as a player--are forced to do to progress. Putting these actions in the hands of a player is not as meaningful as the writer seems to believe, because there are no other options to progress. Any weight in making that decision is lost to resignation; a frustrated sigh of “Well, okay, fine. I guess I have to click Z here.” You are then rewarded with a SLAPPING pop song and a psychedelic cutscene of Sunny falling to his death. It’s tasteless to its core and appropriates the deaths of every suicidal person as a quirky, shallow “bad end.”

(Seriously, this is how the writer decided to depict a child taking his own life.)

youtube

2. Sunny/Omori is a poor presentation of depression

Sunny/Omori does not smile. Even in past photographs before The Incident, he still is not smiling. The contrast between Sunny and his friends stands out like a sore thumb, so I assumed this was the writer’s attempt to show that Sunny is dealing with depression, where he can’t be happy even in happy situations.

Of course, if that were the case it would be inaccurate since depressed people do smile and do hide their true feelings. They are often dismissed with, “You can’t be depressed, I saw you smiling once.” However, I was willing to let Sunny’s chronic frown slide because sometimes you have to oversimplify an idea to get your point across.

Much to my surprise, there is NO evidence of Sunny having depression before The Incident and there is very little indication of him having depression throughout the game either. The evidence of this is that while looking at a family portrait, Sunny comments that he's never liked to smile. Since he's a a baby in this portrait, this goes to show that his not smiling is simply a preference -- a quirky character trait that makes him stand out so that you feel an emotion during the true ending when he finally smiles.

Everything in the game seems to point to him being pretty happy and well adjusted up until he killed Mari. Then, even after he killed Mari, he pretty much looks and behaves the same way. Wouldn’t it be more jarring and tragic if you saw Sunny was happy in the past, but depressed now?

Which leads me to my next point...

3. Sunny and Basil are not depressed, they’re guilty (and for good reason)

In the book I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn’t), Brené Brown explains the difference between feeling guilt and shame.

Guilt means: “I did something bad.” Shame means: “I am something bad.”

Guilt, when attributed to bad behavior, is actually a healthy emotion. It means that you have a sense of right and wrong, that you empathize with those you’ve hurt, and it motivates you to make things right.

Shame is an unhealthy emotion. It arrests growth, destroys self-esteem, causes poor decision making, isolates you from your loved ones, and is directly correlated with anxiety and depression.

OMORI should be a game about overcoming shame. All the right set pieces are there. Sunny’s walled himself off, his sister (allegedly) committed suicide, and he seems to be struggling with lifelong depression. However, this all falls apart, when it’s revealed that he killed his sister and staged her death as a suicide to escape blame (with Basil’s help). He DID do something bad. It’s not shame, it’s literally guilt.

All at once, OMORI stops being a game about recovering from grief and depression and becomes a game that demands the player to sympathize with a killer and liar who is hiding from his crimes. Because he and Basil feel bad about what they did, Sunny and Basil are presented as greater victims than their actual victim.

4. OMORI asks you empathize with villains (with ZERO self awareness)

Games where you are playing a character with a guilty conscience has been told before, but where OMORI really fails is that Sunny is not truly held accountable for what he did to others. Instead, the game focuses on HIS pain: since killing his sister he’s been isolated, he’s having nightmares, and he’s suicidal.

The plot of the game is focused on helping Sunny forgive himself for ruining other people’s lives. The writing barely acknowledges how his friends/family feel about what he did. When his victims’ pain IS addressed, it’s either used to further victimize Sunny (ie: isn’t it sad for him that he made his friends so sad?) or it’s used to reassure the player that Sunny’s victims have forgiven him (or will forgive him).

In fact, the game holds Mari responsible for her own death, citing that her "perfectionism" must have been what pushed Sunny to attack her. OMORI presents Mari, through headspace, as someone who accepted death gracefully and wants Sunny to live a happy life. She is never given her own voice and nothing in the game suggests she is capable of feeling bitter over her death and postmortem desecration. She plays the role of the Madonna archetype--and the perfect victim--allowing the player to empathize entirely with Sunny while accepting that Mari brought everything on herself.

[Mari suggesting that Sunny acting out his aggression on her was her fault.]

The climax of this game is NOT Sunny telling the truth to his friends. The climax is Sunny defeating his guilt and forgiving himself. We know this because the story does not even show how his friends respond to his confession, because-- once again-- what’s most important thing is resolving Sunny’s pain, not the pain he has caused others. (Though the game does heavily imply that his friends will forgive him.)

[Pictured: the boys shedding their guilt is the true happy ending ]

Imagine, for a moment, if this game was about an abuser, who caused immense pain to someone and got away with it. Then, the whole game was about how they felt bad for the abuse they caused, and-- as a player-- you help them forgive THEMSELF for their past abuse. Then, in the last few seconds of the game, they either apologize to their victim or kill themself. The victim’s response is not shown because it is not important.

This is the plot of OMORI, except with a bunch of excuses thrown on top to make it more palatable. Sunny and Basil are just soooo cute and sad. Killing Mari was an accident. Stringing her body up like a piñata was a juvenile mistake. The boys feel SO BAD that they want to kill themselves. And because suicide is so tragic, you-- as an audience-- are manipulated into empathizing them.

5. In OMORI, suicide is used as a cheap ploy for sympathy

As I mentioned before, suicide is horrible and tragic. People struggling with suicidal ideation need help, support, and respect. That said, let’s make one thing clear: being suicidal does not automatically make someone a good person. There are plenty of examples of criminals who kill themselves to escape the penalty or guilt for something they did. It is so common in the news that I don’t think I have to list out examples.

In bad endings, Sunny and Basil’s suicides are 100% motivated by guilt for their very real crimes. Now, it should be stated, Sunny and Basil do not deserve to die. And because suicide is such an extreme, permanent end for those two boys, we-- as players-- are invested in preventing that tragic end at all costs.

However, the looming threat of suicide is used as leverage to force the audience to dismiss the severity of what Sunny and Basil did. As I’ve said before, the plot of the game is about soothing and alleviating Sunny’s guilt and stopping him from killing himself as opposed to making things right.

The worst thing is, this tactic actually works. The threat of suicide is so strong, it has distracted many players from the truth that this story is about sympathizing with a boy who has killed his sister, with little regard for those his actions have affected (see point #4).

It’s terrible because suicide is such a serious topic worthy of discussion, but when used as little more than pity-bait, it twists your perception of what the characters did and silences those who try to criticize how this game handles such topics.

6. Mari's suicide being fake is a terrible twist

Lastly, by revealing Mari’s “suicide” as an accidental death, OMORI misses an opportunity to tell a much more powerful story. In the first half of this game, when Mari is thought to have committed suicide at the young age of 15, is a sobering moment. That tragedy is something very real.

If Mari had killed herself as opposed to being killed, Sunny isolating himself after his sister takes her own life is realistic. Mari’s death coming as a surprise is also realistic; how often have we heard people saying that they never knew someone was suffering? That they seemed like such a happy person?

Losing a loved one to suicide does not just cause horrible grief, but crippling shame as well. Those left behind will blame themselves, tormented by thoughts of how they could have saved them, how they would do anything to get them back. That shame can follow you forever, haunting you like a ghost, threatening you with the same fate. Overcoming that grief and shame is no simple task, and I truly thought OMORI was going to be about grappling with grief and letting go of survivor guilt.

Instead, Mari didn’t commit suicide, her life was cut short by her brother. Then, her body was staged as a suicide, forever changing how her family and friends perceived her. Her hanging body did not represent a devastating loss of life and horror of teen depression, but instead is a cheap twist that represents Sunny’s guilt for killing her and tampering with her corpse.

Conclusion:

As I’ve mentioned before OMORI has a lot of potential. The set pieces of a depressed kid who escapes to a dream world to cope with his unresolved trauma is one that had the makings to be very meaningful. However, it fumbles these issues, creating a sloppy plot that results in a problematic message. It’s baffling that this even happened, especially considering the length of time this was in development.

#omori #omori hate #review #words #the more I analyze it the worse this game gets #suicide cw #omori spoilers

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white-tulips · 3 years

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I spent most of this morning continuing playing through the hikikomori route, more of my thoughts below!! (major spoilers ahead!!!!!)

if you haven’t but want to read my first post on my hikikomori playthrough, you can see it [here]!! it’s been a month since I last played any, aha...

I played for quite a few hours earlier but I don’t think I really progressed all that much aha. most of my time went towards grinding and wandering around and seeing little things. oh, and also playing through Orange Oasis. I never actually did that in my first run of the game. it was okay.

I really love how many little details and things to go back to that there are, but I’m still a little bitter at just. how long everything is. I talked about this a lot in my previous post, but it irritates me that the first 15-20 hours (give or take depending on how fast you’re able to blast through this game) is just. exactly the same as what you experience in the main route. especially since now my hikikomori save file is even longer than my main story file, and I think I still have a decent ways to go until I finish. I don’t actually know! I haven’t been spoiled for this route, thankfully, so I don’t really know how much is left. I have a vague idea of a couple areas I need to go to, but that’s about it.

ok, on to my thoughts!! this post is probably just going to be me rambling about tiny details I found interesting since I didn’t progress through much plot stuff, I think.

when I opened up my save file, I. completely forgot what I had been doing a month ago and what I wanted to do next, so I decided to go back to the Last Resort. I don’t know what compelled me to go, but there was a lot of fun stuff there so I’m glad that I did!

I had never tried to use Aubrey to go into the girls’ bathroom before? it was very cute, I liked it. I don’t know why, but as soon as I walked in it really reminded me of Basil. I think it’s all the flowers, photos hanging from the wall, and general soft cutesy vibe. I’m not really sure what to make of that, but it was just my general impression. hmmmm.

I have no words for this other than it just made me amused. go get your vacation, king.

also:

I didn’t know Hero had a confirmed age!! all this time I had been assuming he and Mari were 16 years old, so it’s nice to have something set in stone!

I have no words for these, either. seeing all of the Hero pictures just made me laugh out loud a little I loved it.

when I was standing in Jawsum’s office, I noticed that the elevator behind his desk was shaking. I went to examine it, and was surprised when this was where I ended up.

the black space elevator.

something I completely forgot to mention in my last hikikomori post was black space!! it had completely took me by surprise so I can’t believe I forgot to talk about it.

last time I played and went back to Last Resort, there was a completely black car on the highway and it had really freaked me out. as soon as I clicked on it, instead of giving me some kind of prompt Omori just got in and it drove off. I was so shocked because I wasn’t expecting it fhgjdfhgj. it ended up taking Omori back to one of the black space rooms, and I had no clue what to make of it. I wandered around for a little while, and ended up finding this... friend?

I’m... not sure! who are you......

anyways, so I got in the elevator and we’re back here, now with more spiders.

the spider wasn’t interactable. not sure whether to be upset or relieved.

aaaand then there was this guy in the treehouse. I want to know what these black space NPCs are!!! as soon as I tried to interact with it, the screen glitched out (intentionally) and then it was gone. one day I’ll know what it means.

oh, another thing I spent quite a bit of time doing at the Last Resort-

getting statues made of everyone!! RIP to all of my clams, but these are so cute.

cuuute.

I really liked the comment on Mari’s! it made me happy that it highlighted her playful side.

after I was done reexploring Last Resort, I wanted to go back to Sweetheart’s castle. I was walking through Pyrefly Forest, and I noticed one of the picnic blankets had a cooler open (signaling that you can see a new picnic cutscene) so I went to go sit down and have a picnic.

so, when I was going around earlier and doing some stuff, there were a few picnics that I think I had skipped for some reason so I was doing them and mindlessly skipping through the text for no reason other than it would bother be if I just left them. nothing about the conversations was different even though Basil is here now, so I didn’t think anything would be different for the one in Pyrefly Forest, but I was wrong!! I almost completely skipped through everything aha.

it started off the same, with Hero being scared of the spiders, and then Kel prompted Basil to say something positive to try and make him less scared.

it’s pretty insignificant, but I thought it was interesting that he said pretty much the exact same thing he says in the spider room in black space.

when I got to the castle, I went straight to the library. something about the pattern of going to black space, plus being able to go into the barn in Otherworld, just made me feel like there would be something there. and oh boy was I right. the entire place was crawling with Something.

very good.....

I wasn’t able to get screenshots of them, but there were a couple text popups that really stood out to me. my memory is so bad I can’t remember all of them even though it was only this morning,,, but I’m pretty sure one of them had a popup that was just “Liar.” and I was like HM....

it just really had me thinking....

in my previous post, I mentioned that I had a gut feeling that the Something in the barn was supposed to represent Basil, not Mari. this kind of added fuel to that thought!

the barn in Otherworld was only used in the main route in reference to Basil, with it literally showing Omori a vision of him, and also having Stranger walking into it. now, the library also has a lot of connection to Basil! after picking up one of the keys, it shows us another vision of him, and it’s also littered with egret orchids. I don’t think choosing to have all of these Somethings in both of these places is just a coincidence.

now, about the “Liar.” line. in any fight with Something, if there’s a text popup meant to be Something speaking, it’s always done like this-

with the “???:” to indicate character speech. but the “Liar.” popup was just a standalone line. and it instantly reminded me of this room in black space-

and this just kept making my brain whirl.

in this room, there were all of these popups with “Liar.” and then of course there was-

see here how there also weren’t indications of who was saying ‘liar”, but there was for Something? my idea for this room was always that it was Omori repeating it to himself. because we all know by now that Something is Mari, and her saying “I love you”, especially in this form, is nothing but pure torment. and I think here, we have Omori unwilling to believe it. there’s no way Mari could love him/Sunny. she has to be lying.

soooo then, this brings me back to the library. having the “Liar.” popup there, keeping in consideration that the Somethings there might represent Basil, what could that mean?? it could be in reference to Basil’s words “Everything is going to be okay” because clearly everything is not okay. if all of these Somethings are meant to be Basil, it could fit!!!

... so there’s my long winded theory. idk! I think it makes sense, but I could be wrong!! that’s just my first impressions right now, maybe my thoughts will change when I play more!

moving onto the piano room-

this was when I thought “ohhhh so that’s why the wall always felt hallow. it all makes sense now”

and then I spent the next 30 or so minutes fighting all of the Somethings

I LOVED this. this was the first time a fight was put on a time limit, and since Something was so much more powerful, it felt actually stressful. I was stressed! but I managed to make it with 2-3 turns left, and I didn’t die. I did die about 1 or 2 times to arachnophobia and thalassophobia though F. but it’s okay because I got an achievement and also Omori’s suffocate skill is really good.

anyways I did some more mindless walking around (I had to kill time waiting for all my statues to be built, you know!)

this made me really happy. Big Molio I love you you’re the mvp and you deserve the world.

... looking through my screenshots I wish I could forget this one-

,, do I need to even explain it.

I remember a while ago, I saw someone on twitter post this and iirc the caption was something like “isn’t it a bit morbid to have the jumprope there” and, at the time, I had never gone through Orange Oasis, so seeing that tweet I had the wind knocked out of me. I was just sitting there like “fuuuuuuuuck”. and then I went through Orange Oasis today, saw it again, went “fuuuuuuuuck” and then forgot I screenshot it. it’s just a lot.

okay who knows how I filled the rest of the 6 hours I played because I didn’t take many screenshots of the downtime and running around completing sidequests I never did. the last point of interest today was I had went back to Humphrey.

I didn’t do too much, but I did fight Mutantheart.

I adore her!!!! so cute!!! Mutantheart my beloved.

I lost to her once, because I was a bit confused, but once I caught on to the gimmick of her fight, it was actually pretty easy. rest in peace, queen, I love you...

and then, uh. Her-

I tried 3 times. I didn’t win... all of the characters are maxed leveled at 50, but this is so difficult... well, the first half of the fight I found to be pretty easy, actually. but once she switches into full power mode it’s over. I don’t know how I’m supposed to win. farewell my dream of completing the foe facts book, it was a nice goal while it was realistic.

and then I stopped for the day! I think I needed that month of not playing, because coming back into the game after a lot of my rage and burnout settled was probably best, and I had a lot of fun playing! hopefully it doesn’t take me another month to continue.

if you made it all the way through this post, thank you for reading! I hope you like my thoughts~

I’ll leave on this note-

king shit

#text #omori #omori spoilers

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frauleinjustice · 3 years

Text

Present for J: suntan one-shot!!

Supriiiise~! I wanted to write up a short lil suntan one-shot for my good friend @magicalmasa for her birthday!! 🍰 I really wanted to post it yesterday, but I sadly became so much busier until nighttime, so I apologize for that: but I still hope this can be a lil surprise for you to see~!

Summary: Sunny and Kel spend the weekend night together, with Kel spending the night over at Sunny’s house! They have lots of fun, spending time together... and they’re boyfriends, so Sunny also loves to just... relax and be happy with the boy that he loves...

So basically, just some mindless suntan fluff! This is my first time ever writing Sunny and Kel, and an OMORI one-shot in general, so I hope it’s good, and that you especially will love it, J!! ☆ ilu homie!! And to anyone else who may read this, thank you!! Hope you enjoy as well!

Sunny liked weekends. Not just in general, but especially because he could stay up late with Kel. The other was going to spend the night at Sunny’s house. Since Mari was still away at college with Hero, it admittedly got a bit lonelier in the house... so whenever his boyfriend could spend time with him, it made Sunny truly happy.

They even made a blanket fort, bringing up snacks and drinks from the kitchen as they planned to watch some movies, play video games together, read some comics... jokingly telling themselves that sleep was the last thing they will actually be doing.

“Aww, I was so close! You really are too good at this game, Sunny.” They were currently playing a fighting game together, Sunny winning yet again as Kel dramatically sighs in defeat.

“...Get good, Kel.” Despite the stone-faced look on Sunny’s face as he says that, there’s a hint of a smirk on his face as he looks towards him.

“Excuse you? Where’d you learnt that from, huh?” He laughs, wrapping one arm around Sunny while his other hand playfully gives Sunny’s head a noogie. “If we ever play a basketball game together, we’ll see who’s the one that really needs to get good, hah!”

“Hehe....” A quiet giggle leaves Sunny from the noogie and Kel’s remark, playfully patting at his arm. Sunny wasn’t the most expressive, so it might be hard to tell if he’s being serious or not when trying to be playful or sarcastic. But of course; Kel knows Sunny more than well enough to tell. Sunny sometimes worried if he was far too quiet for Kel’s liking... but Kel always made sure to reassure him that he loves Sunny the way that he is. He doesn’t need to change anything about himself to make Kel love him more.

“Alright! Ready to make fun of some comically bad movies?” After letting go of Sunny, he holds up several DVD’s with a widening smile on his face. “I’ve got several.”

“Mmhm.” Sunny points to one of them, looking like some kind of action movie. The movie was so badly written that Kel was nearly spitting out his soda with laughter, and even Sunny almost choking when he couldn’t hold in his laughter as he was eating a slice of pizza. The sarcastic comments they’d make about the ridiculous parts of the movie, plus them sometimes mocking the characters if they said something stupid... made for one hilarious movie nights full of laughter and Sunny’s mom having to come into the room a few times to tell them to be quieter, them apologizing each time. Though she was happy to see her son having so much fun with Kel: it wasn’t often he had such a wide smile on his face and clearly looking like he was having a lot of fun.

As they continued to chat the night away afterwards while the TV was now mostly background noise for whatever channel was playing at the moment... sleepiness eventually did start to catch up with the boy as it reached 2am, them getting comfy under the blankets in their forts. “Sleepyyy... guess we failed the ‘Staying Up All Night’ objective, huh?” He chuckles, Sunny nodding in response. “But I don’t mind that. Cause...well...” Feeling his face starting to heat up, he wraps an arm around Sunny’s waist to pull him close. “I-It means we can fall asleep together...cuddled up and stuff. H-Hehe...”

“Kel...” Sunny’s own cheeks turned a light pink as he found himself huddled up closer against Kel. In the couple of months that they’ve started dating by now, they have cuddled a few times before, yet Sunny still felt his heart leap as if it were the first time they were doing so all over again. Kel felt so warm... he loves being in his arms. As he stares up at his much taller boyfriend, there’s a light smile on his face as he teases: “...Cute.”

“Ah-h-hey, come on! It’s already embarrassing saying this kind of mushy stuff. Don’t tease me!” He bashfully laughs, feeling his cheeks heat up even more. Kel really didn’t think, before he started crushing on and dating Sunny: that’d he find himself saying such intimate and romantic things. He jokes to himself that 12 year-old him would gag at the thought of saying such ‘sappy, cheesy’ stuff. But he didn’t mind that... he happily wants to get more used to it. He’s fully of love for Sunny... and wants to express that in every way, shape, and form that he can.

A soft yawn leaves Sunny as he snuggles up against Kel some more, burying his face in his chest. He could hear Kel’s heartbeat... the sound being so soothing to him. He could listen to it all night if he could... “...You’re warm, Kel.” He softly mumbles, in a near whisper. “I like it... it makes sleeping feel even better.” And here he had thought before that nothing could beat the coziness of Mari’s former bed... but in Kel’s arms, he feels like he could drift off right away. “And your heartbeats....sound nice..”

“Sunny...” While it admittedly does fluster Kel to also be told such intimate things in turn, it made his heart warm. He initially never thought he’d be told such things before... and that someone could fall for him so deeply like this. He could still remember the day where he finally gathered the courage to confess to Sunny, and how unusually nervous he felt the whole time before doing so; and how happy their friends felt for him and Sunny when they told everyone they started dating. He could look back on it now and laugh it off, now thinking himself silly for fearing the worst if Sunny rejected him. He mostly had Mari to thank, since she of course knows her little brother more than anyone, and reassured Kel that her brother felt the same way: that he made Sunny light up in a way no one else could. And funnily enough, in turn: Hero reassuring Sunny that Kel surely likes him back, since he also knows his own little brother better than anyone else: and that Kel always looks especially happy whenever he’s with Sunny. “....I’m glad.” He mutters just as softly, smiling warmly. His other hand goes to gently comb through the boy’s soft black hair. “I wanna... be like a nice blanket for you to cuddle, you know? Kind of like how you feel like a soft pillow! Haha....” He gives Sunny a soft squeeze, humming as he softly nuzzles him more.

“...I’m happy, too.” He truly did want to feel just as nice for Kel to hold, too. He wishes he could go to sleep in Kel’s arms every night...Feeling his eyes start to droop, Sunny speaks up after a few moments. “...Kel.”

“Yeah, Sunny...?”

“......” He could feel his heart starting to race. Even if he’s of course said it before, he was still so shy about doing so....it stil felt so foreign to him. But whenever he said it, it made him feel fuzzy inside: he was excited to eventually grow used to saying it. “....I love you.” Sleepy eyes dart up at the boy, his ears turning red.

“H-Heheh...” No matter how used to it Kel would eventually get... it still made his heart burst whenever Sunny tells him he loves him; and of course, he always wants to say it right back, too. Gently kissing the top of his head, he beams a brighter smile at him. “I... love you, too, Sunny! You’re the best boyfriend ever. Now let’s get some sleep... I wanna continue to have lots more fun with you tomorrow. G’niiiight....”

“Mm: sounds fun. Goodni...” And just like that, Kel was already out like a light, hearing him softly snore with a goofy, content look on his face. “Falling asleep in seconds as always. Kel...” He quietly laughs under his breath, loving the dorky little traits about Kel like that. Honestly, everything about Kel, he adored. He found him to be the best boyfriend ever, too. He leans up real quick for a moment... so he can press a soft, light peck to Kel’s lips. With his arms wrapped tightly around Kel, he rests his head against Kel’s chest once more as he finishes: “...Goodnight, Kel.” Before he eventually drifts off, too. He was looking forward to the morning, to continue having more fun with him.

#omori sunny #omori kel #suntan #Omori #Kay's writings #magicalmasa #i was normally gonna say 'drabble' but heh: we all know I don't keep things short KJDFNDFKJFDKJFD #really though I hope u will love it J.... just wanted to give u smth nice hopefully!!#and once more Happy Birthday!!! hope you had a wonderful day! <3

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elbiotipo · 3 years

Text

been thinking about Omori (when I'm not thinking about Omori?) and holy shit, the *good* ending is very painful

BIG SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT LIKE ARGENTINOSAURUS HUINCULENSIS BIG

so yeah, we all know how it goes, Sunny saves Basil, reconciles with himself, and tells the truth, but that's the only confirmed "good" thing about it... the fact that Sunny and Basil are still alive and *free* from Something and their trauma. There's no guarantee that the others will forgive them or be friends again. I mean, forgive them... that's almost for sure, especially when they were JUST KIDS MOTHER OF GOD, but would YOU want to be still friends with them if you were in their shoes? The cynic in me thinks that they would just forgive each other for old time's sake, and then walk away and never see each other again. They would probably have a very, very hard time processing everything, and they probably will have to carry more trauma than before. All those promises made the day right before to be together and keep in touch... it's gonna be hard to keep them when the truth is revealed.

However it IS the good ending, and the game is about overcoming trauma, not piling more (well, suposedly) and recovering friendships, so we could expect some optimism here.

Kel would forgive them no doubt and probably be the one who wants to still be friends with both Sunny and Basil. I think he would push Hero to do the same... I love Kel, he's the best.

Many fans think Hero would go all crazy on them, but I think actually Hero might be, actually, the most forgiving. He is kind, mature, and the older of them. He was also their friend, and he probably loved Sunny as a little brother. I think he would be the first to recognize that they were just kids who did a terrible mistake, and that Mari wouldn't want him to hate them. He will be hurt beyond anything for sure, but I actually see Kel and Hero forgiving them.

Aubrey... OH GOD. OH FUCK. OH AUBREY. The confession might actually break her in half. I can see her hating them all forever and just going crazy with grief and rage; for sure she would have the hardest time in forgiving them, if she does at all. BUT BUT BUT... first of all, there's a parallel when she almost killed Basil and Sunny at the lake; she must know what making a mistake like Sunny and Basil did would feel like, and I actually think that's why she's so forgiving of him after they fight. She's also the one who notices the most how hurt Sunny was, so I think she understand he suffered a lot too, and she does care a lot about him (there are hints Aubrey does like Sunny a little bit it wasn't just his imagination), so she may be more understanding actually.

...Of course, those are rational thoughts of forgiveness. She probably wouldn't act rationally at all. If she forgives them at all, it would take a long, painful time, though it is possible that if she keeps being friends with Kel and Hero and maybe talks more to Sunny and Basil, she eventually would. Not gonna be easy though, if it happens.

But the worst part here is:

I think they would hate Basil more.

Eeverybody asks "would they forgive Sunny?". But would they forgive Basil?

Leaving asides the fact that they were just two kids of course... Sunny did push Mari and kill her, but it's clear that he never wanted to, he was traumatized by it, and he loved her a lot. I think that, forgive him or not, the rest of the characters would know that. Basil... in his attempt to "save" Sunny... basically made virtually every shitty thing that happened in the game happen. Not that I think that if they just had called an ambulance everything would be happiness and sunshine, BUT. BUT. BUT. What Basil did/proposed traumatized Sunny (and him) about a hundred times worse that what would have been otherwise and hurt so, so many people (imagine how many people must have felt guilty about Mari's "suicide"?).

The fact that he did it to "save Sunny" would be very hollow, considering well... what happened to Sunny after that, and how he treated Mari (notice that Sunny cared a lot about Mari, and yet Basil just... did that shit...). I mean, Basil suffered a lot too and they must know. And they were kids, that must be emphasized. But holy shit. I frankly think they would react much, much worse to Basil's confession, even if Sunny attempts to defend him. Even worse, Aubrey might even feel justified in her bullying him, and with Sunny leaving and probably maybe Kel the only to defend him in Faraway (Hero's at college)... Basil will have a hard time.

And the worst WORST part?

I think Sunny would inevitably hate Basil.

Think about it. Sunny hates himself, obviously, for what he did to Mari. He will probably carry that guilt forever. But after saving Basil and presumably healing, he probably would realize how fucked up his life was and no in small part because of what Basil did. He probably would hate himself more for closing himself and not telling the truth, but in part he suffered all of that because of Basil, and also to protect Basil. His trauma, the loss of his friends, missing his teenage years, and everything else... again, I'm not saying that if Basil didn't do That things would be fine and dandy or that there weren't other factors there (Sunny's family and friends could have helped him more same with Basil). But I think that Sunny would really be resentful of Basil at best, if not outright hate him at most, no matter the past. I think it will be yet another trauma he will have to carry.

And poor Basil too. The game, of course, hints if not very much states that he's in love with Sunny. Sunny likes Aubrey for sure, but he also is very attached to Basil, and of course things in headspace are much like "red string of fate" "you are linked together and such". But... as cute as would be, and as interesting the dynamic of "two characters joined by tragedy and hated by the rest" is, I don't think it will work. Sunny would have to forgive him first, and that's not out of the question of course... But I don't see a very healthy relationship blossoming from that, to say the least. Even before the incident with Mari, Basil was rather clingy with Sunny. I can't imagine how it would be after all that. And that's assuming Sunny even loves him in that way.

Poor Sunny of course. But I think of Basil and it hurts ten times more. I'm sure they would eventually find happiness and heal, but... Just thinking about it hurts.

So yeah. Good ending or not, Omori will find a way to break your heart forever. 10/10 best game.

#cosas mias #omori #thanks for coming to my ted talk #in conclusion everything hurts forever

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mudwingprince · 3 years

Text

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT THINK ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT RADI0 OR ISOL, THEY'RE BOTH AMAZING PEOPLE THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH (/p) AND I WOULD NEVER THINK ANYTHING THAT HAS BEEN WRITTEN

I WROTE IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY WHICH IS (almost) ENTIRELY FICTION

anyways, onto the story (and triggers)

Tw: Blood, death, symptoms of depression and PTSD, suicidal thoughts

I blinked. I blinked again. I tried to move, it hurt.

Right, I thought to myself. Immortality, how could I forget about that?! I pushed myself up into a sitting position. It was dark, which was weird. It was a white room with no windows or lights. Was it night? I looked around and spotted Isol, curled up. I watched the steady rise and fall of their furry sides. They were facing away from me. I guess it was night. I pushed myself off of the ground, careful not to make a sound as to wake Isol. Nausea and vertigo hit me like a boulder and I was tempted to let out a groan, but I protested against myself.

No, I can’t wake them… what happened… that was horrifying… I can't let it happen again.

I slowly crept towards the door that Radi0 (hopefully) escaped through, every step sending agony through my legs and spine. As I slowly turned the doorknob, making sure to keep an eye on Isol, Isol’s ear flicked up and they slowly raised their head. I froze. M-Maybe they wouldn’t notice me…? Their head turned towards the spot where I was lying and, when they found only a puddle of blood and paw prints, they whipped their head towards the door.

Shit.

I threw the door open and slammed it shut behind me just as Isol leaped towards me. Radi0 had been curled up on the door and, with the sudden movement, he jumped. He leaped to his feet, balling his hands in fists up against his chest as if to throw a punch. His eyes were wide and blood red and there were tear stains on his cheeks. I pushed myself up against the door as Isol clawed, scratched and slammed on the door, screaming.

“M-Mind helping here?” I grunted to Radi0, putting all of my weight on the door and thrashing my tail. I’m so tired. He jumped into action and leaned on the door beside me.

“You’re… alive?” He asked, well, muttered seemed better. It was kind of hard to think of good grammar considering the circumstances.

“Y-yeah? And?” I replied sharply. The amount of blood that was dripping off of me was… concerning… to say the least. I wanted to fall asleep and pretend like Isol, our friend, wasn’t a real threat right now… I coughed and was almost flung away from the door due to all of the banging. I regained my balance and leaned against the door again. I felt so… shitty… That… made sense though, I just died after all.

“Are… you okay?” Radi0 muttered with a sniff. I glanced at him and licked the tangy blood off of my teeth with my sharp, forked tongue.

“I just died, of course I’m not,” I snapped. “Imagine having to feel this shitty every time you accidentally choke on a grape,” I raised my voice so Isol could hear me. “OR WHENEVER YOUR FRIEND KILLS YOU OVER A FUCKING VIDEO GAME!!”

Could I even call them a friend anymore? I thought, friends don’t kill each other… that’s… that’s not a normal thing… right?

“We’re running,” I whispered to Radi0 after another minute of holding the door shut. “On the count of three, we both go, okay?” He nodded. That was all I needed.

“Three.”

“Two.”

“One.”

As soon as the last word came out of my mouth we ran in the opposite direction of the door. After ten minutes of running, I was quickly falling behind Radi0, everything was getting harder to make out. Radi0 slowed to a stop.

“W-what… are you… doing?” I muttered in between gasps. My voice sounded gravelly and rough. I hated this.

“They’re… not following… us… anymore…” Radi0 replied, panting. “Are… you okay?” He asked again. Why did he keep asking me this?

“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, wiping the blood away from my lip. I gave him a weak smile. “Are you?”

“... I’m… I’m worried about you, Mud,” He said. I was silent for a second. Why would someone worry about me? Did I really mean that much to someone?

“Why?” I asked, although it sounded more like a statement.

“‘Why’? Are you serious Mud?” He said, shocked. “Y-you’re bleeding, and you look like you’re gonna pass out, AND YOU SAID YOU JUST DIED?!” I glanced away from him. All of that was true. I was bleeding a lot. And I did feel like I was about to collapse. And I did just die.

“I just…” I replied. “G-gotta sleep it off… That always helps…” Radi0 wrapped his arm around my torso and I leaned on him.

“Maybe we should get you somewhere warmer…” Radi0 said, pointing up at the cloudy sky. The sky… The sky! We weren’t in that other place anymore, I could feel soft grass beneath my paws again! How long had it been since I was outside anyway? “Hey, over there looks pretty sheltered?” Radi0 pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded, not even looking at where he was pointing. We trekked along until we got to a fallen tree. It’s uprooted roots hung over the ground like a tent. We sat down under the tree and I curled up.

“I’m… going to get firewood…” Radi0 said. He paused. “If you need anything, call for me, okay?”

“Trust me, I won’t need anything,” I replied sarcastically. I closed my eyes and let sleep take hold of me for the night.

Radi0 rubbed at his eyes as he walked through the dense forest, occasionally stopping to pick up large twigs and sticks.

He’s going to be fine, Radi0 told himself repeatedly. They managed to survive Isol’s attack, he’ll be able to survive by themself. Suddenly, a disturbing thought entered his mind, I won’t be able to survive by myself. I’m weak. Pathetic. I let him do that. They told me to run. I deserve to die… Radi0 picked up another stick, barely able to hold the amount that he had. That would be enough, right? He didn’t even know how to make a fire, how was he going to keep both of them warm? He started his walk back to the fallen tree. His thoughts still screaming at him.

I failed to stop them. I’m a horrible friend. He wouldn’t want me back there. Why does he even consider me a friend? Do they even consider me a friend at this point? I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t… I’m a horrible person. I should’ve let Isol kill me. It would be better that way…

He was so wrapped up in his overwhelmingly disturbing thoughts, he hadn’t realized that he had made it back to the tree. Mud had fallen asleep. His wounds were still open. Radi0 should probably help them clean that up. He placed the sticks and twigs down in the dirt near Mud, arranging them in a cone. He grabbed one of the smaller sticks and started rolling it between his hands, like he had seen in the shows. After five minutes of rolling, Radi0 was starting to get frustrated. It still wasn’t working. He didn’t have the energy or motivation to do it anymore, but he knew he had to, they would both get cold in the incoming rain without it. He continued. After fifteen minutes, there was a spark, and then another, and then another, until the entire cone of wood was lit up in flames. By now, the storm had already hit. Radi0 turned away from the fire and faced out from the cover of the roots. He stared off into the distance and dove into his thoughts once again.

Does he even care about me? If they do… why? I didn’t do anything to protect them, I just ran away, like the coward that I am. I was ready to let them die. I was ready to run. But I want to protect him! That’s what good friends would do! They protect each other!

Another voice. This one chilled him to the bone.

You’re lying. You’re lying to yourself and everyone you love. You’re a fucking fraud. A liar. A fake. Stop putting on a brave face and show them your true colors. You’re a coward. To think you’ve gotten away with this for so long. You-

The voice was cut off by Mud. He was shuffling in his sleep, beads of sweat decorating their forehead. Radi0 noticed that their injuries had healed immensely, even when he had completely forgotten (add that to the list of what he needs to scold himself on later). Suddenly, they shot upright, trying to catch their breath.

“Are you okay?” Radi0 asked, frantically looking around to see if they were okay physically.

“Nightmare,” Mud rasped, hugging themself. “It’s nothing serious.” Radi0 glanced at him, then pulled his knees up to his chest, mirroring Mud.

“It’s all going to be okay…” Mud muttered. “I hope you know that. We’ll find a way to make peace with Isol, while getting them to play Omori at the same time.” They let out a weak laugh. Radi0 chuckled with them and smiled out into the forest. It’s going to be okay.

#i'm terrified to post this #my mind is just going off at me like #'you shouldnt be writing at this'#and 'why are you posting this'#and 'why would you write that you dont think that way about them you think that way about yourself'#and 'stop projecting on real people'#and just... im scared #im so scared #as soon as i post this im going to take a step back and really not interact for like #idk 15 - 30 minutes #i just need to calm down and know that no one will think that i think this way #and that this is just fiction #it may have real people in it #but the story #the plot #THE FACT THAT IM A FUCKING IMMORTAL MUD HUMAN CAT HYBRID THING #is all fake #i love all of you and i would never want you to feel this way and i dont think this way about you/p #and if you do feel this way and you need to talk about it #and you dont feel safe with anyone else #you can dm me #i wont tell anyone i promise #at the beginning with the disclaimer #i said almost because i still want isol to play omori xd #thats the only truth (other than my self loathing) thats in this

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prisontoybox · 3 years

Note

17, 19, 25 (shadow lord), 27, 29, 36, 37, 38, 39

//Oops that took a while phew, thank you <3

Munday Asks

17 "What was your first muse?"

I guess other than warrior cats and one other oc that werent necessarily mused, it'd be Dipper Pines (regular and most of his aus). I ended up really deep in the Gravity Falls Amino and I ended up in many of the rps defaulting to him for other friends and rpers til I became known for it to an extent gjfjdk. I did a couple other GF charcaters but mainly him in my friend groups.

19 "Do you have ship bias?"

I'll be honest I have no clue what this means. :v If its about writing a ship with someone and their muse, it mostly depends on chemestty and if I know the mun at least a little and if its fun to write. (Ex, I haven't written any real Monix even tho its cute despite having Fox talk to a few Monos here and discord, but have written thinlady with @/gecsha and already otp'd it. I also liked Sevix but wanted SK to want nothing to do with Six in even a friendly regard, but me and @/raincoatnightmare became friends when we were writing and it was funny and cute plus added further character into SK that I like (also now lordlady supremacy ty ty). Or in another fandom, the only character I've written with a canon relationship (or semi-canon? ig its vague?) was Hero from Omori and even then it seems weird to jump into a ship with someone I havent spoken to so it would probably be more prominent with an rper I've talked to before even if its still there with strangers)

25 "Do you play smut? Do you play it only with characters you’re shipping with, or are you open for “one night stands”?"

27 "Are you interested into poly relationships for your muse?"

Tbh Ive (embarrassedly and probably poorly) written it with one other person before in a certain circumstance I don't wanna get into here that ended not-so-well but I'm too nervous to write that kinda thing with others unless we were really comfortable writing that in private. It would always have to be shipping and he's only really shipped with one muse and you already admitted to asking this so I hope youre happy embarrassing me now hfksfkjfkd (also off like you said only adults like SL)

It never starts that way and yet so often ends up like that fhsksl. For SL he's already in a cute poly ship in a verse so I'll say yes to that. Lady Fox hasn't really been written into anything at all yet and I haven't even considered any ship even my beloved thinlady for her so we'll see gjjdls. For puppy ships with the kids again idk

29 "What are your thoughts on your muses' canon?"

Sweats in divergent characters Well Six is really cool and honestly a fun character to watch go through things, I really like her and her clever survival skills even if she's not the most kind in some situations cough cough. I could write a whole essay on why I love her little differences between the other characters in idle animations, cutscene reactions, and her ai actions in LN2. And seeing her in both comic series + those LN2 cutscenes/ai, I like how despite it all its obvious just still just a kid who also enjoys time with others.

RK is honestly my favorite of the protags, little dude is hard (to the) core. I still hate the canon ending 💔 /hj. His specific idle animations we get to see are also interesting in the fact thet theyre a little different from Six's (the only 2 kids at the time). Seeing his interactions with the Nomes (Hideaway), Six (cancelled comic), and reaction to the Flashlight Girl (Depths), it's also neat to see his little personality shine through. I got the feeling he was almost hesitant to escape but went through anyway, and saw it to the end (even if it was his own end) and with all the stepping on coal and glass, hitting every obstacle in the way and still standing up straight, and being resourceful of those around him, and I can respect him. Also he's the only one who's had a chapter I would be too scared to go through if I had the LN mindset so good on him 💔.

36. "Do you feel similar to your muse in any way?"

With Fox I really feel that casual but anxious at any time feeling, and already projected a lot of my anxieties about memory loss onto her. I also just like foxes. (Ive only spent money on game cosmetics 3 times and one was the LN1 fox mask, another was yesterday $10 on an almost useless fox plush on Sky: CotL fhdjsk but hey whats important is invisible to the eyes).

With SK I can feel the "listens to an echo chamber for emotions" sometimes, and holding onto things stubbornly. It's quite easy to write him as I don't like admitting certain things either and deny deny deny, but that makes SL a little harder to make him romance fbdksk.

With SL I do really feel that overprotectiveness and envy in some things, he might be waaay exaggerated ofc but it's there. Im also a big self blamer.

37 "Do you feel different from your muse in any way?"

With Fox I'm much more social, I do like hugs and physical touchs and talking even oversharing cough just look at this whole post whereas she'd very reserved and quiet about her feelings 99% of the time.

With SK I can't really find it in me to hold a grudge that well. I can think back and get annoyed that some teacher or other kid or family member did some bad thing to me in the past, or say "so-and-so hurt me yesterday", but I can't hold it as just hate for long and see it differently. There's very few people I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting, and they'll never be allowed near my family if I can help it.

With SL I can't say I'm in a good position if I'm in charge. I can be a good right hand or lower ranking moniter/manager, but being the head is too much pressure and depressing. He seems to be doing just fine both on his own and with his wife and/or husband.

38 "What's the best inspiration for your muse?"

Mostly jokes and random ideas with my friends! Some of the best plots I've had personally were turning a romance/ship joke into angst for pain, or angst into romance as hurt/comfort. Ofc music also helps but this is the best!

39 "What's a song that reminds you of your muse?"

I have a whole playlist so let me think of some that only or mostly involve that character and their feelings.

Fox/Six- Again

SK- Cradles

SL- KING

#anome #'anome'#🦊#🖤#🎌#<3 thanks again

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pseudofaux · 6 years

Text

Sanctify

Nobuyuki x MC, NSFW. A sort of companion (contrast?) piece to Chigusa and something that probably exists thanks to this thoughtful anon ask.

Despite precedent I promise the Sanada brothers have DIFFERENT partners in these stories. 👼 I’m struggling to make good words do lately; I know this could be finessed but I am relieved to have gotten something done. So here we go. Affectionate, a bit reverent, Nobuyuki. A little different since he is preparing to say goodbye/go off to battle.

Taggin’ with lurv: @karalija @opossumlyinsane @jemchew @dani677 @unicornthug4life @akiko-moons @saialock @quincette @little-mini-me-world @yuyuisakura-hime @saizos-little-lady @yoolee @dear-mrs-otome @stars-over-omori @demonintheally @catchthespade @theweatheredwarrior @perfectruffian2389 @lovelygusher @jeonshim @shikikira @sengokugenkigirl @dreamfar628 and @saeneras

(always feel free to tell me not to tag you-- no hard feelings, ever, for that)

xoxo!

She was quaking around his fingers, clutching at him with her body, her own fingers. Eyes shut tight but her face turned up to him so he could see her tension bloom and then fade. Perfect.

Nobuyuki let her relax, dotting what he could reach of her with kisses and praise. When he asked if he could remove his fingers, she answered with a shaky affirmative but told him she didn’t want him to. He smiled, and pressed his grin against her shoulder so she would feel it. This incomparable woman.

He slid his hand back slowly, so slowly, curving his fingers to drag more of her wetness out of her body. She clung to him. And he savored her every tremble.

When his fingertips left the hot, wet heaven of her body, he pressed them gently against her pearl. Just to see what she would do.

She jerked and a helpless little noise escaped her nose. Her thighs tightened around his own leg.

He would absolutely be doing that again.

But for now he slid her down onto their bedding with great care, decorating her brow with more kisses and stroking her skin with his free hand. He held the wet fingers away from his body as she sank into the cushion below them. Her body was pinked in places, and her head lolled to the side. There was a pleasant, sensual grin pulling her mouth up. She was the picture of satiety, and absolutely lovely. Difficult to leave. Thankfully he only had to take few steps.

“Watch,” he requested. She blinked lazily but immediately, focusing on him as her expression became questioning. When he had her eyes, he moved to the stand where his armor waited for tomorrow. He looked to it for a moment, then back to her. And holding her gaze, he slid his wet fingers across the swirled design of one shoulder. The rich fabric dragged under his fingers, the embroidery catching the proof of her pleasure. When he looked at them, the metallic threads glinted. When he looked to her, she was regarding him coolly, but he could see her smile. This ritual would please them both, then. Good.

“When I am away from you in the coming days,” he said, stalking the steps to return, kneeling back between her legs, “I will have this this…” He tapped at her entrance firmly, relishing the tiny weakness on her face and how it swam in her countenance, still so strong. More fluid coated his fingers as though it longed to be his glove. “…With me,” he finished. When he separated his fingers he could feel threads of her wetness webbing between them.

She held his eyes, breathing deeply. She was watching when he touched his tongue to the pads of his fingers, when he narrowed his eyes, when he smiled at her, predatory and cherishing. Because they were alone, he saw the sentiments mirroring themselves back from her own face. It made his heart feel as though it were being clenched somehow, like it had to fight to beat properly. And that was certainly true.

He made several trips from her body to his armor. He made her come once more, talking her through it with worshipful phrases, promising her he would keep himself safe. For many of the moments he was working her body loved her so supremely that he didn’t even worry about Genjirou; rather, he worried, but he knew his ultimate loyalty was to this woman, and the depth of his feeling in those moments made it a reassuring shift. He did not speak the thought, but put it on her skin in the soft raking of his teeth on her flesh, into her body as he let her ride out her peak without changing his pace to tease her.

Nobuyuki did love to tease her. His favorite flavor in all the world was the salt of her frustration fresh from her skin. But he loved her even more. When they had to be parted, he tried to show her this.

She certainly had no complaints, boneless and breathing heavily beside him. Her skin was delightfully rosy in even more places, now. He wanted to bite them. He stroked several instead, watching carefully as the delicate hairs on her body tensed and slowly settled with the sensations of his touch. And then he left her relaxed form to go to his armor one last time. Eyes locked with hers, he smeared three sticky fingers across the Sanada mon on his chestplate.

Her eyes narrowed.

In challenge.

He thought it would be good to play the game out, saunter back to her… But he also thought it would be best of all if he were in her as soon as possible, and so he leapt at her instead, finding her mouth as she rose to meet him with her own open for his kiss. His tongue slipped around hers as he aligned their bodies with ease—practice had never been so pleasurable a tutor as it was in learning precisely where to hold her, where his hips should go—and slid into her at last, both of them gasping at the glorious push and the way she felt.

Because they knew he was leaving, he told her how magnificent she felt, hot, plush, and greedy around him in ways he loved. She told him she lived for him… oh, if only that were really, completely true, but he loved her for saying it and he twisted his hips and kissed her the sweeter for it. She told him that her heart would not willingly be parted from him, and that he knew was true. He could feel it in his chest, and at the sopping base of his cock as he made her squelch around him. In the tender way her face looked so pleasured, so tortured. Just as he liked. Just as she was, and he liked that best of all.

When he went to meet her eyes, she was already looking at his face. He kept that contact with her, that ribbon of fire and understanding and desire between them, until he had to blink, and then he forged it again, murmuring her name with deepest reverence. He pushed one of her knees toward her shoulder and felt her beautiful shout make his spine prickle in the most delicious way.

Because he would be leaving, he told her to keep making noise, to bless him and their entire household with it. She kept her eyes on his, the powerful, limitless creature, and drew him closer so he could catch every whimper. He slowed down and she called for him, his name and vulnerable sighs coming from her in a countermelody to the percussion of their bodies. Her hips were rocking up to meet him as best she could given her position and well-earned weariness.

He wanted to watch her face as he came in her, but his eyes closed and it felt so good he let them be for a heartbeat before he leaned back to spill the rest on her thighs, in the thicket of her hair.

As soon as he relaxed, spent, the woman he loved sat up, put herself in his lap, and kissed him. His cum smeared onto his own body. He briefly considered smearing it all over her body. Instead he put his forehead to hers and whispered promises, and when she had repeated them all she whispered some of her own. They should have slept, but they stayed as they were, trading thoughts and making each other smile under the blanket she pulled over them.

When their conversation ebbed and she brought up the late hour, he put them both in bed where they belonged. Nobuyuki drew her against his body and she fit herself along his side, her cheek resting on his shoulder.

“Win,” she said, her breath going across his chest.

“Of course,” he replied, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

#samurai love ballad party #slbp fanfic #sanada nobuyuki #this is a really good way to damage fabric #don't try this at home #Nobuyuki might not care much for ceremonies other people design but his OWN sorts of consecrations... well...#sanada pseu

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nightingaledarling · 6 years

Text

FIC: My Kind’s Your Kind

Fandom: Samurai Love Ballad Party Timeline/Continuity: Modern AU Pairing: Maeda Toshiie/MC (unnamed) Genre: Angst, but does it really count as angst since you know they get together later?? Probably. Oops. So much for ‘I will never write Puppy angst!’ Word Count: ~1800 Rating: PG-13 Notes: Let’s play “guess the character this description alludes to,” lol. This goes before “Like I Need You Then” in the Nostalgia ‘verse.

@hajeema @han-pan @stars-over-omori @kawa-akarin @all-my-cuffs-have-buttons @saizoswifey @pseudofaux @sengokugenkigirl

And anyone else who expressed interest in the rest of this series. Thanks for your beautiful comments on the previous work, loves! Y’all have been so great with putting out quality content that I was inspired to finish this one off. I have about three more planned. If you would like to go sans tag in the future, please let me know!

“What if I was your boyfriend?”

His phone buzzes with a text reading ‘SOS’ and he’s off like a shot, striding toward the bar with purpose.

The dim lights and throngs of people at various levels of inebriation make movement more difficult than it should be, but he sees her instantly. She’s got her arms crossed tightly in front of her, phone clutched in a white-knuckle grip. Her smile is so fake it’s painful to look at, and her upper body is leaning away as far as she can get from the creeper who’s leaning into her space. The man’s got a bit of a heavier build, his balding head slick with sweat from the body heat inside the building. Neither of these do much to detract from the man’s slimy, leery gaze.

What was the phrase again? ‘It’s all fun and games until someone loses an eye’?

Toshiie pushes forward and steps right in between the two, thumping his hand down on the bar top for good measure as he turns his back to the creeper and looks down at his friend.

“Hey Gorgeous,” he says, the pet name rolling off his tongue as naturally as if he were saying her name instead. “Was wondering where you went.”

The relief ebbing from her is almost palpable, her eyes warm with a silent thank-you. She uncrosses her arms and lifts a hand to rest on his bicep. “Just wanted another drink. Thanks, Babe.”

An internal shiver goes through him when he hears that. But before he can enjoy it much, the man behind him clears his throat rather loudly.

Toshiie turns. He makes a show of cracking his knuckles with an impressive pop. “Sorry bro, did you have something you want to say to my girlfriend?”

The color drains from the man’s face at the gesture, and he shakes his head, spluttering his words out, “N-no! Nevermind!” He makes a hasty retreat, tripping over himself on the way.

Her hand drops from Toshiie’s arm, and he immediately misses the touch.

“Thank you,” she says earnestly. “He wouldn’t go away.”

He shrugs. “Don’t worry about it. Perks of having a guy friend. But I still think you should’ve been born ugly, because you probably wouldn’t have this ongoing problem of creeps hitting on you in bars.”

“I’m gonna ignore your implication that the creep problem is my fault. You realize you basically just called me pretty, right?”

...He walked right into that one. “Well, it’s not like it’s a secret,” he huffs, looking away. “You are. Pretty, I mean.”

When he glances back at her, she’s trying hard to fight back a laugh. “Careful. Don’t strain something trying to compliment me.”

He rolls his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Quit while you’re ahead.” He inclines his head toward the bar’s entrance. “Feel like getting out of here?”

“Sure. Let’s just go find Umeko and…” Her eyes roam the interior before stopping by the pool tables, and she giggles.

Toshiie follows her line of sight to see Umeko and her boyfriend pressed up against the wall in a rather compromising position.

He shakes his head, chuckling. “Maybe just text her that we went ahead.”

“Yeah.” She taps out a message on her phone. He takes the opportunity to send off a quick good night text to Sayuri too, and together they head to the door.

The cold air outside is a shock straight to their bones. It’s more instinct than conscious thought when he pulls her to his side so she can share the warmth of his jacket. It’s probably just as automatic for her to huddle into him and loop an arm around his back to get even closer.

“If I wasn’t sober before, I am now,” she laughs, her breath coming out in tiny pale puffs.

Another gust slams into their skin, and Toshiie shudders.

The bar is about a fifteen minute walk from their apartment. At such close distance, it’s kind of stupid to get a taxi or rideshare. On the other hand, he really isn’t interested in dying from the biting cold, despite knowing that his body does tend to run on the warmer side.

“Just pretend you’re in Hawaii,” she says suddenly.

Briefly he wonders if she can read minds. But he probably shouldn’t be surprised; they’ve always been so in sync with each other. “By myself? That’s sad.”

“Not by yourself,” she huffs. “Pretend that you’re on your honeymoon or something. I don’t know.”

“If I was on my honeymoon, I’d rather it not be with you,” Toshiie deadpans, only to wince when she thumps him in the flank with the side of her fist.

“That goes double for me, jackass.” There’s no malice in her words, just a fond teasing that only she can get away with.

He smiles, first taking it at face value, but then he starts to think.

From acting as her boyfriend at the bar to cuddling her to ward off the chill to joking about honeymoons - it’s not Toshiie’s first time for any of these. For almost anyone else, those actions would be a surefire indicator of romance, but for the two of them, it’s just out of familiarity and having been so comfortable with each other for so long that they can get away with it.

It’s no wonder that people always assume they’re dating.

He won’t lie. That what-if question had hovered in the back of his mind since their early teens when she started developing noticeably different body parts than him, but he never really gave it much thought until they entered high school.

Even then, the what-if was only a transient thought between relationships.

She’d been with her first love for a good year. When they ultimately called it quits, she’d said something about how he was kind-hearted and ideal but just a little too proper, and Toshiie had wondered, ‘what if it were me?’ for a minute before leaving the thought alone and treating her to a junk food day.

He had a similar thought when he became the unwilling owner of a broken nose in their senior year for sleeping with an underclassman who turned out to be the class president’s younger sister. When the president wrung out his fist and went on with his day, Toshiie had thought, ‘this wouldn’t have been a problem if it were her’ before stumbling away to the nurse’s office.

So the concept of dating his closest friend was always a fanciful idea, an abstract notion that he’d considered but never actually thought to be within the realm of possibility.

At least, not until they moved in together.

Now that they’re under one roof, their relationship has changed - solidified, almost. There’s something about their involvement in each other’s lives that can’t really be touched, no matter how many blind dates she goes on, no matter how far he gets with Sayuri.

Because now, things like cooking together and movie marathons on the couch and sharing a beer on the balcony are a little less hangout-ish and a whole lot more domestic. She makes him scrub the toilet on Sundays, but in return he makes her take out the trash. He’ll be at the store debating between his favored laundry detergent scent of spring blossom and her favored lavender fields and decide to go with the latter, only because the former gives her a headache.

He thinks about how these exchanges are probably much more common with couples - couples who live together, to be specific.

The fact that they have a joint bank account specifically for rent and utilities is just the icing on the cake.

That what-if question… it’s not such a farfetched idea anymore.

He doesn’t have much more time to think about it, because somehow, in all his contemplation, they’ve already reached the apartment. She ushers him inside, shutting the door and the cold behind them. But he doesn’t want to lose this closeness. Not yet.

He holds her fast, one hand to the back of her head, another to her shoulder blades. Her keys clatter to the floor in her surprise.

“Toshiie? What’s wrong?”

It could be real.

“...What if I was your boyfriend?”

She stiffens in his arms, then relaxes, breathing out a laugh. “You might as well be, for all the time we spend together.”

“I’m serious.” Toshiie draws back a little, leveling his gaze to hers. He can see the mirth and jest in her eyes slowly dim, dim, then vanish at the gravity of his tone.

She swallows, closing her eyes for a long beat and then opening them again, wearily focusing on him. “I guess…” she begins in a whisper, and although he can hear her perfectly in the stillness of their apartment, he leans in close anyway. “We just never tried to be anything more.”

“Why didn’t we try?” He murmurs.

She shrugs helplessly. “Didn’t make sense to?”

“Really?” Toshiie lets out a low, self-deprecating chuckle. “Cause sometimes, I swear - you’re the only thing that does make sense to me.”

There would be no interview time, no break-in period. He already knows that it takes five alarms to wake her up in the morning, and she already knows that Thursday is his back and biceps day at the gym. He already knows that she seasons all her food with an atrocious amount of hot sauce because ‘it’s not a meal without it, Toshiie,’ and she already knows that he bought a motorcycle because he can’t be bothered to operate on bus schedules. He already knows that she’ll cry at the drop of a hat when she gets angry, and she already knows that it’s best to leave him alone for a day or two when he’s feeling down.

She gets him, just like he gets her.

It could be real.

Her eyes flutter closed, slow and arresting, but before he can inch forward, she mumbles a single name -

“Sayuri.”

And it feels like someone’s dumped ice water over his head. He takes a step back. Just one step, but it might as well be a mile.

Sayuri, who’s out of town for a friend’s birthday and probably missing him. Sayuri, who’s kind and selfless and likes him and trusts him.

Sayuri, who he swore he’d give it a shot with, no matter how on-again off-again they’ve been lately.

He says nothing, just lets his hands fall to the side. In measured movements, she crouches down, picks up her keys and puts them in her pocket. She can’t seem to meet his eyes, not that he can blame her.

“It’s getting late,” she says, voice small and resigned, and she retreats to her room.

The sound of her door closing echoes into the foyer. Toshiie slumps against the wall with a sigh, raking a hand through his hair.

It could be so, so real.

But not now.

#you ever want to smack the shit out of a fictional character #me too #slbp #samurai love ballad party #slbp fanfic #slbp fanfiction #inuchiyo #maeda toshiie #slbp inuchiyo

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pseudofaux · 6 years

Text

Real (6)

CONFESSION TIME :D :D :D

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5

Autumn, Omori

After all the dishes had been carried out and back in from the feast, Tsumekusa cleaned the kitchen with the cook (who was named Junshi), and Matsuko. Her time with them had shown her that servants were treated well in Omori, and they were very fond of their Lord. Junshi had served Lord Shigezane’s branch of the Date for most of his life, and he shared stories of what things had been like in Omori during that time. It sounded like Lord Masamune had always been quiet, but he liked climbing trees and playing outdoor games as a child and had always been gentle with animals and nature. Tsumekusa smiled to think of it, how some things changed and some things did not.

It sounded like Lord Shigezane had never been without the gregarious nature she knew. Junshi’s stories made her smile all over again. Her cheeks were tired but she was so comfortable and happy she barely noticed.

With three sets of hands, kitchen cleanup was quick work. Tsumekusa’s new friends invited her to stay and enjoy the warmth of the kitchen and a drink, and tell them some of her own stories.

So she told them about her family and the restaurant, and how Lord Masamune encouraged her to write and receive letters so she could remain connected to them. About Umeko’s steadfast friendliness, and how the cooking styles differed in the north from in Kyoto. When she hinted delicately at the state of Lord Kojuro’s study at the castle, Junshi and Matsuko both howled with laughter.

“Having a party, hmm?” asked a familiar voice from the door, amused.

Tsumekusa bolted up from her seat. Junshi and Matsuko did not.

“Lord Shigezane,” she said, bowing. He looked at her like she was a bit silly, and the coziness of the kitchen shifted to something uncomfortably quiet.

“Having a bit of a party,” Junshi volunteered after a beat.

Lord Shigezane smiled. “Well, that’s always good,” he said. And then he turned to her and asked “Ready for bed, Tsumamekusa?”

The rapid tumble of emotions caused by his attention no longer made her dizzy, but it still confused her. Embarrassment at the intimate implications he didn’t mean. The fondness that he would show her to her room himself. Worry he was shirking duty to do so. Her own desire to disregard all of it.

And all that as she was moving to him, eager as a child to see his smile and try to return to their special time in the castle from this afternoon.

“Your room is a nice one,” he promised cheerily, “but unfortunately that means it’s on the other side of Omori.”

She just managed to stifle her groan. This had been a marvelous day, but she was weary at the end of it and very ready to go to sleep.

“Hey!” Junshi said, making a shooing gesture. “Out of my kitchen. I don’t like your implication.”

Lord Shigezane laughed, and Junshi smiled.

“Forgive me. Finest kitchen. Finest cooks! Not the finest place to sleep.”

“Speak for yourself,” Junshi shot back, wiggling comfortably on the bench he was sitting on.

Unsure how long their friendly banter would go on, Tsumekusa walked to the door. She hid a yawn behind her hand.

“I’m off, my very fine cook,” Shigezane waved. Junshi snorted.

Lord Shigezane pointed the way they should walk, and because his sense of decorum was unlike any other lord’s, he walked beside her.

Nighttime in Omori was crisp outside the kitchen. It was chilly and clear, and there was a swath of haziness in the sky Tsumekusa didn’t think was a cloud. The scent of the surrounding trees gave every breath a clarity she had rarely experienced. She took in a deep breath through her nose and allowed herself to revel in the cool, pine-perfumed air.

“It smells really nice here,” she told him.

He agreed.

“Do you miss it when you’re in Yonezawa?” she asked.

“Here’s your room!” he said, sounding overbright. His eyes were closed over his big smile, and his hand was touching the back of his neck. He looked nervous. Maybe he was tired, too?

“Thank you, Lord Shigezane,” she said quietly. She slid open the door.

But she did not move to enter the room.

“Everything look alright?” he asked.

“Umm… yes,” she said slowly.

“Alright, then. Everyone else has probably turned in for the night. See you in the morning?”

She tore her eyes away from the room.

“Ah… yes. Lord Shigezane, are you sure this is where I’m supposed to be staying?”

He frowned and leaned in to look over her and into the room. She smelled more pine, smelled salt, felt more warm—felt so much more warm—and more nervous and more relieved. There was the dizziness, back again. As tired as she was she whimpered at the rush of him flooding her senses. The tiny sound came out through her nose.

He looked down at her without moving away. “Yeah. This is your room, Tsumekusa,” he said, so very, very softly.

He didn’t move. She felt a wave of goosebumps rise on her skin, another following it. Her skin was a shore and on the other side of it was a great sea she did not understand.

She couldn’t order her thoughts with his body that close to hers, with his eyes on hers looking so soft.

Suddenly, he said loudly, “So, goodnight!” and he stepped away. She felt… something. She was too tired to quite know.

“Thank you,” she told him again. She was nearly swaying with fatigue, and before she could think better of it, she had offered a sleepy “Goodnight. Sweet dreams.”

His face relaxed.

“Sweet dreams,” he murmured.

She went inside her room, her tired and overstimulated body protesting another moment in the presence of anything but a futon.

Bereft, she realized, as she dressed for sleep. What she had felt when he stepped away was bereft. The feeling was still there in the back of her mind, even as she slid into the most exquisitely plush bedding she had ever touched. It suited the room.

Before sleep claimed her, and it could only have been a moment or so, she told herself to be careful. Then she remembered the fun of being shown the castle shortcuts that afternoon, and she gave herself over to sweet, incautious dreams. But mostly to the sleep her body desperately needed.

Almost everyone in the castle ate breakfast in the hall the next morning. Lord Masamune made minimal but polite conversation when they saw one another there. Lord Kojuro responded when she greeted him but said nothing else and excused himself as soon as he had finished eating.

To fill the silence left in Lord Kojuro's sudden absence, she asked “Lord Masamune, where are the members of Lord Shigezane’s family?”

Lord Masamune looked thoughtful.

“We are each other’s family,” he said quietly. It made her smile until he followed it with “His parents are…”

“Oh,” she said.

He nodded.

“But his—”

“I need to… go,” Lord Masamune said, interrupting her and shuffling back from his breakfast.

“Of course. I will bring you your lunch, milord.”

He nodded and gave her the expression she knew meant he was trying to smile but having a hard time with it. She gave him an easy smile in return.

When breakfast was finished, she visited the castle town with Matsuko for ingredients. The rest of her day was quiet, and she was even allowed time to nap in the afternoon. She knew she should take it and get back to that glorious futon but she chose to cut into that time by looking at the dense woods surrounding the castle until she had her fill of the sight.

That night, her last night in Omori, Lord Shigezane came to the kitchens again. She wanted to get her fill of the sight of him, too, so she said a quick goodnight to Junshi and left the kitchen with the lord of the castle.

Lord Shigezane had smiled when he greeted her, but he was quiet now, and walking slowly.

“Are you tired?” Tsumekusa asked.

“Hmm? A little, maybe,” he said. He sounded distracted.

“What did you do today?” she asked softly.

“Meetings. Out with Masamune and Kojuro after lunch. Had yummy food,” he said, pepping up a little and shooting her a grin.

“I went into town this morning. The people there really like you,” she smiled.

He did, too. She caught another tiny smile pulling at his mouth.

After a moment, she offered “I can see why you would want to stay here,” into their companionable silence.

“Why’s that?”

“It smells really nice,” she repeated last night’s thought, smiling around a deep breath.

He smiled back, full and real. Her heart thumped.

“Omori is a beautiful castle and I’m sure you and your family are happy here,” she said, words coming from her spine, from her good sense.

“…family?”

She blushed, but stopped walking to turn to him. “Family…?”

He laughed. It was not his usual joyful laugh, and the bitter sound hurt to hear. She tucked her head down to try to hide her deepening blush at the mistake and started walking again.

“I thought you were staying here because you had a baby,” she said. Everything felt very uncertain all of a sudden.

At that, or possibly at her expression, he guffawed. “NO, doll. No babies. Not, um… No. I’m kind of the baby, I guess. Haven’t found the right person yet.”

“…You’re not even married?”

“Don’t you think you’d know if I was? Masamune keeps me kinda busy, y’know?”

Look ahead, look down, do not look at his face

“I just expected that you were, that’s all.” No. “You’re a noble. And you’re so… friendly,” she said lamely. Stop. “I’ve never met anyone as friendly as you are.” Wanting to make sure he understood she wasn’t judging him, she looked up to meet his eyes.

To see precisely why she shouldn't have.

Shigezane was looking right at her face, his own a study of incredulity and hurt.

“You really thought I was married.” His voice was flatter than she had ever heard it.

“I… I did. Now I know that was wrong, and I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to be married, and it’s not to not be married! I’m just surprised, is all! I really thought you were, and that was part of why we were coming to you, instead of you… coming to Yonezawa… Because… you haven’t, in a while…” Her words tapered off into silence as she saw his face become increasingly miserable.

“Lord Shigezane, I’m sorry. I can see my mistake upsets you and I’m sorry, I don’t ever want to upset you—”

Tsumekusa dared to take a step toward him, but he held out a hand to halt her. She blinked at his stiff fingers, feeling horrified. They had only been close a few times, but she could not remember him ever indicating he wanted her away from him. It felt like frost was settling on everything inside her.

“No,” he muttered, pressing fingers to his forehead. “You wouldn’t ever want to do it.”

“I wouldn’t,” she insisted softly. “I’m sorry.”

He just sighed. Shook his head. He scratched behind one of his ears.

“Tsumekusa. I know that your name is Tsumekusa.”

She smiled a little. Yes, she had known that, despite his silliness making it seem otherwise. He always knew it and used it when her name really counted.

“I have always known that your name is Tsumekusa. Every time I’ve called you something else I’ve been trying to get you to correct me, yell at me, talk to me, anything. I’m desperate for your attention, doll.”

She blinked at him, not quite daring to hope. “But aren’t you the same way with everyone?”

“No!” his howl was so sad and immediate it hurt her heart.

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice trembling. She reached for him again despite his earlier rejection. But he flinched from her hand and she let it fall, feeling like there was no ground beneath her feet. She had been so careful and things were all wrong anyway.

“I’m sorry. I thought that you were kind like this,” she gestured between them, “to everybody. That you flirted with everybody. I didn’t think that there was anything different about…” she touched her chest and splayed her hands in front of herself. She couldn’t even say it. That little something hopeful and stupid was blooming in her heart and she wanted to shut it up but she had to make him understand first, so that he wasn’t so unhappy.

“You’re different,” he said as he looked up to the heavens, sounding so exhausted she did start to cry.

“Lord Shigezane, please don’t make me watch you suffer without letting me do something,” she begged, taking a small step closer to him. “Please look at me.”

He sighed, shrugged. But he didn’t move when her hand went for his again, and he did look down at her. When he met her eyes she saw surprise dawn on his face, and then further misery. His own fingers brushed her cheek, cutting off the track of a tear.

“Please no tears. I don’t want to make you unhappy. That is the last thing I want.”

“Then you know how I feel! I’m only unhappy because it feels like we aren’t understanding one another!” she cried.

He sighed again and gathered her in his arms, brought her against his chest. This was not what she had in mind when she had asked Shigezane to let her comfort him. But… she was going to take this for herself. Just a minute of it, she told herself. One minute. Count. One minute.

Tsumekusa turned her face so her cheek and her fingers pressed against his body and tried to calm herself down. How had this gotten so terribly mixed up? The smell of him, those salt and pine scents from yesterday and, this close, the warmth of rice and the sweetness of dried grass, was even better than the forest air. She drew in a greedy breath through her nose, trying to get more of it and trying to calm down.

He misinterpreted what she was doing.

“Hey. Shh. I said no tears,” he said quietly, rubbing a circle behind her shoulders. “Can I just hold you for a minute?” he asked into her hair. His other large, strong hand held her head to his chest. Pressed like this, she could hear and feel the low thump of his heartbeat against her cheek. She nodded. The pressure on her head increased slightly.

He was murmuring something, his voice so low she could not parse the words. Tsumekusa brought her face up, brushing his chin with her nose. Think about all of it later. Live this now. There isn’t much time. “What?” she asked.

“Saying I dream about this. Not like this,” she could feel his shoulders moving and imagined him pantomiming an exaggerated crying face. “But this.” He squeezed her.

This…us?” She was trying to keep her voice quiet and steady, make him stay, keep them both safe.

“Yeah,” he said. When she heard his voice, faraway and sad, her heart hurt anew. She would give anything to make him smile again, be happy enough to smile again. She decided the risk of being bold was worth that effort.

“Shigezane,” she said, leaning forward and fitting her chin on his shoulder. Omitting the “Lord” made her feel like she was in some precarious place, but this whole conversation did that, so… she decided to try. She resisted the urge to press her cheek to his ear and instead tried to keep her voice calm and her face ahead. She breathed and wet her lips with her tongue. “I want this,” she dared, squeezing the fabric of his kimono in her hands. Deep breath. Deep, deep breath. “I—want to be with you.” There. Her declaration was out. He went very, very still.

After a moment of stillness and its accompanying silence, she warily leaned back to glance at his face.

He was staring at her, mouth agape, eyes wide as she had ever seen them.

“…Really?” he asked, voice higher than normal. He sounded so hopeful. He cleared his throat and repeated himself. Now he was a pitch lower. Could he not sort himself out, either? That made two of them.

Except about this part.

“Yes,” she said on a laughing cry of relief, and buried her face into his shoulder. “Really.”

“Me,” he said, more thoughtful than questioning.

“You!” She insisted into the cloth covering his shoulder, feeling that both of them were very silly. The pace of all these emotions was dizzying yet again. Maybe it was just him. At least this was a happier kind of dizziness.

“Please don’t laugh,” he said, hands on her shoulders moving her back, then going to her cheeks and bringing her forehead to his. He sounded like he might cry himself. This would not do at all.

“Shigezane,” she said softly, trying to catch his eyes with hers as she was catching his own cheeks to cup in her palms. “I laugh because the idea of it being anyone but you is laughable. I only... you are the only one, like this. No one el—mmph!”

That was the right way to put it, then, she mused, closing her eyes and smiling and settling into Shigezane’s kiss, as insistent and as sweet as a kiss could be. He was pushing his entire body against hers, an arm going around her back and one hand staying to cradle the side of her face. He might have been shivering; the thump of her heart when he kissed her made it hard to tell. Had he been as worried as all this? Perhaps she would need to belabor the point in the future. She would worry about that when his fingers were not beginning to thread through her hair and his tongue was not so, so gently sweeping into her mouth, putting salt and sweetness—the taiyaki from dessert!—and the thrill of lust on her tongue.

He was cherishing her with every touch, she could feel it. She really did want to be this close to him always. After the frenzy of the last few minutes it was soothing just to be this near to him. Shigezane’s body was solid and strong, and she believed he would yield for her instantly if she asked it of him. His touch was gentle but reflected an enthusiastic desire for her. He made her feel special. Warm. Real. Home.

She wanted to make him feel the same things.

“Tsumekusa,” he murmured against her lips, and then he smiled, and then he laughed. He was so much himself again that rightness slid across her heart. “I love you,” He continued. “Not like anyone else.”

Her eyelids fluttered down, and from deep inside her body feelings of safety and desire swooped up and around like kites.

“I’m so glad,” she breathed against his mouth. And she was. She didn’t even care about what that would mean in the future. So she kissed him.

Moments later they sat close together, looking up at the sky, sharing his haori. The warmth of his body and their shared happiness made her feel cozy, even in the chill. His arm was around her, holding one of her hands against her chest with their fingers laced.

“Don’t go back tomorrow,” He said. “Please.”

“I think I have to,” she replied softly, letting the regret she was feeling come out in her words. “I have to go back to Yonezawa, and Lord Masamune will need food on the way.”

“What if he stayed, too?”

“Well then… I suppose I wouldn’t have to go back tomorrow.” A silly grin was splitting her face. He was so sweet to even want this to last.

“Good,” he huffed, and squeezed her. “That’s settled.”

“I’m not sure it is,” she laughed. “But I hope it is,” she added quietly, and pressed a kiss to his hand. And because this time was magic and she wasn’t thinking of what might or might not be, but she no longer had to not think of how she loved him, she leaned to kiss his jaw, too.

WELL. There's that. NOW what are these two going to do?

#samurai love ballad party #date shigezane #slbp fanfic

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