#THE FACT THAT IM A FUCKING IMMORTAL MUD HUMAN CAT HYBRID THING
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DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT THINK ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT RADI0 OR ISOL, THEY'RE BOTH AMAZING PEOPLE
THAT I LOVE VERY MUCH (/p) AND I WOULD NEVER THINK ANYTHING THAT HAS BEEN WRITTEN
I WROTE IT FOR THE PURPOSE OF THE STORY WHICH IS (almost) ENTIRELY FICTION
anyways, onto the story (and triggers)
Tw: Blood, death, symptoms of depression and PTSD, suicidal thoughts
I blinked. I blinked again. I tried to move, it hurt.
Right, I thought to myself. Immortality, how could I forget about that?! I pushed myself up into a sitting position. It was dark, which was weird. It was a white room with no windows or lights. Was it night? I looked around and spotted Isol, curled up. I watched the steady rise and fall of their furry sides. They were facing away from me. I guess it was night. I pushed myself off of the ground, careful not to make a sound as to wake Isol. Nausea and vertigo hit me like a boulder and I was tempted to let out a groan, but I protested against myself.
No, I can’t wake them… what happened… that was horrifying… I can't let it happen again.
I slowly crept towards the door that Radi0 (hopefully) escaped through, every step sending agony through my legs and spine. As I slowly turned the doorknob, making sure to keep an eye on Isol, Isol’s ear flicked up and they slowly raised their head. I froze. M-Maybe they wouldn’t notice me…? Their head turned towards the spot where I was lying and, when they found only a puddle of blood and paw prints, they whipped their head towards the door.
Shit.
I threw the door open and slammed it shut behind me just as Isol leaped towards me. Radi0 had been curled up on the door and, with the sudden movement, he jumped. He leaped to his feet, balling his hands in fists up against his chest as if to throw a punch. His eyes were wide and blood red and there were tear stains on his cheeks. I pushed myself up against the door as Isol clawed, scratched and slammed on the door, screaming.
“M-Mind helping here?” I grunted to Radi0, putting all of my weight on the door and thrashing my tail. I’m so tired. He jumped into action and leaned on the door beside me.
“You’re… alive?” He asked, well, muttered seemed better. It was kind of hard to think of good grammar considering the circumstances.
“Y-yeah? And?” I replied sharply. The amount of blood that was dripping off of me was… concerning… to say the least. I wanted to fall asleep and pretend like Isol, our friend, wasn’t a real threat right now… I coughed and was almost flung away from the door due to all of the banging. I regained my balance and leaned against the door again. I felt so… shitty… That… made sense though, I just died after all.
“Are… you okay?” Radi0 muttered with a sniff. I glanced at him and licked the tangy blood off of my teeth with my sharp, forked tongue.
“I just died, of course I’m not,” I snapped. “Imagine having to feel this shitty every time you accidentally choke on a grape,” I raised my voice so Isol could hear me. “OR WHENEVER YOUR FRIEND KILLS YOU OVER A FUCKING VIDEO GAME!!”
Could I even call them a friend anymore? I thought, friends don’t kill each other… that’s… that’s not a normal thing… right?
“We’re running,” I whispered to Radi0 after another minute of holding the door shut. “On the count of three, we both go, okay?” He nodded. That was all I needed.
“Three.”
“Two.”
“One.”
As soon as the last word came out of my mouth we ran in the opposite direction of the door. After ten minutes of running, I was quickly falling behind Radi0, everything was getting harder to make out. Radi0 slowed to a stop.
“W-what… are you… doing?” I muttered in between gasps. My voice sounded gravelly and rough. I hated this.
“They’re… not following… us… anymore…” Radi0 replied, panting. “Are… you okay?” He asked again. Why did he keep asking me this?
“Yeah… yeah, I’m fine,” I replied, wiping the blood away from my lip. I gave him a weak smile. “Are you?”
“... I’m… I’m worried about you, Mud,” He said. I was silent for a second. Why would someone worry about me? Did I really mean that much to someone?
“Why?” I asked, although it sounded more like a statement.
“‘Why’? Are you serious Mud?” He said, shocked. “Y-you’re bleeding, and you look like you’re gonna pass out, AND YOU SAID YOU JUST DIED?!” I glanced away from him. All of that was true. I was bleeding a lot. And I did feel like I was about to collapse. And I did just die.
“I just…” I replied. “G-gotta sleep it off… That always helps…” Radi0 wrapped his arm around my torso and I leaned on him.
“Maybe we should get you somewhere warmer…” Radi0 said, pointing up at the cloudy sky. The sky… The sky! We weren’t in that other place anymore, I could feel soft grass beneath my paws again! How long had it been since I was outside anyway? “Hey, over there looks pretty sheltered?” Radi0 pulled me out of my thoughts. I nodded, not even looking at where he was pointing. We trekked along until we got to a fallen tree. It’s uprooted roots hung over the ground like a tent. We sat down under the tree and I curled up.
“I’m… going to get firewood…” Radi0 said. He paused. “If you need anything, call for me, okay?”
“Trust me, I won’t need anything,” I replied sarcastically. I closed my eyes and let sleep take hold of me for the night.
Radi0 rubbed at his eyes as he walked through the dense forest, occasionally stopping to pick up large twigs and sticks.
He’s going to be fine, Radi0 told himself repeatedly. They managed to survive Isol’s attack, he’ll be able to survive by themself. Suddenly, a disturbing thought entered his mind, I won’t be able to survive by myself. I’m weak. Pathetic. I let him do that. They told me to run. I deserve to die… Radi0 picked up another stick, barely able to hold the amount that he had. That would be enough, right? He didn’t even know how to make a fire, how was he going to keep both of them warm? He started his walk back to the fallen tree. His thoughts still screaming at him.
I failed to stop them. I’m a horrible friend. He wouldn’t want me back there. Why does he even consider me a friend? Do they even consider me a friend at this point? I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t… I’m a horrible person. I should’ve let Isol kill me. It would be better that way…
He was so wrapped up in his overwhelmingly disturbing thoughts, he hadn’t realized that he had made it back to the tree. Mud had fallen asleep. His wounds were still open. Radi0 should probably help them clean that up. He placed the sticks and twigs down in the dirt near Mud, arranging them in a cone. He grabbed one of the smaller sticks and started rolling it between his hands, like he had seen in the shows. After five minutes of rolling, Radi0 was starting to get frustrated. It still wasn’t working. He didn’t have the energy or motivation to do it anymore, but he knew he had to, they would both get cold in the incoming rain without it. He continued. After fifteen minutes, there was a spark, and then another, and then another, until the entire cone of wood was lit up in flames. By now, the storm had already hit. Radi0 turned away from the fire and faced out from the cover of the roots. He stared off into the distance and dove into his thoughts once again.
Does he even care about me? If they do… why? I didn’t do anything to protect them, I just ran away, like the coward that I am. I was ready to let them die. I was ready to run. But I want to protect him! That’s what good friends would do! They protect each other!
Another voice. This one chilled him to the bone.
You’re lying. You’re lying to yourself and everyone you love. You’re a fucking fraud. A liar. A fake. Stop putting on a brave face and show them your true colors. You’re a coward. To think you’ve gotten away with this for so long. You-
The voice was cut off by Mud. He was shuffling in his sleep, beads of sweat decorating their forehead. Radi0 noticed that their injuries had healed immensely, even when he had completely forgotten (add that to the list of what he needs to scold himself on later). Suddenly, they shot upright, trying to catch their breath.
“Are you okay?” Radi0 asked, frantically looking around to see if they were okay physically.
“Nightmare,” Mud rasped, hugging themself. “It’s nothing serious.” Radi0 glanced at him, then pulled his knees up to his chest, mirroring Mud.
“It’s all going to be okay…” Mud muttered. “I hope you know that. We’ll find a way to make peace with Isol, while getting them to play Omori at the same time.” They let out a weak laugh. Radi0 chuckled with them and smiled out into the forest. It’s going to be okay.
#i'm terrified to post this#my mind is just going off at me like#'you shouldnt be writing at this'#and 'why are you posting this'#and 'why would you write that you dont think that way about them you think that way about yourself'#and 'stop projecting on real people'#and just... im scared#im so scared#as soon as i post this im going to take a step back and really not interact for like#idk 15 - 30 minutes#i just need to calm down and know that no one will think that i think this way#and that this is just fiction#it may have real people in it#but the story#the plot#THE FACT THAT IM A FUCKING IMMORTAL MUD HUMAN CAT HYBRID THING#is all fake#i love all of you and i would never want you to feel this way and i dont think this way about you/p#and if you do feel this way and you need to talk about it#and you dont feel safe with anyone else#you can dm me#i wont tell anyone i promise#at the beginning with the disclaimer#i said almost because i still want isol to play omori xd#thats the only truth (other than my self loathing) thats in this
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