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hintsofhoney · 3 months

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His Favorite Meal

Pairing(s): Rhysand x F!Reader

Summary: Rhysand hears your dirty thoughts while you're at dinner with your friends. It goes as expected.

Square(s) Filled: free space for @anyfandomgoesbingo

Tags: 18+, smutty smut smut, oral sex (female receiving), light dom/sub dynamics, use of magic, p in v, unprotected sex, light spanking

Word Count: 1.5k

A/N: Hi, I just finished A Court of Mist and Fury and this is my new hyperfixation now. Funnily enough, I wrote this before I got to any kinds of sex scenes between Rhys and Feyre, and when I did finally get to Chapter 55, I was impressed with myself for how close to canon I wrote this 🤣 Anywho, I hope you enjoy!

You can also read me on Ao3!

MAIN MASTERLIST

You can’t stop thinking about him, not for lack of trying.

Rhysand and his stupid dark hair and violet eyes and the way the word darling rolls off his tongue and makes your thighs clench.

You would even let him take you here and now, if it meant that the thoughts of him would subside.

He raises his eyebrows at you from across the table, Mor and Az and Cassian too caught up in their own conversation to notice.

Really? Right on this table? With everyone watching? he sends down the bond.

You shoot him a cold glare. Get out of my head.

If you didn’t want me in it, Y/N, darling, I wouldn’t be.

He isn’t wrong. You both know it.

I can make them leave, if the table is truly where you’d like me to fuck you. Personally, I find the bed —

Shut up, and eat your dinner . If you had said it outloud, it would have been through gritted teeth.

Rhys cocks his head to the side, briefly taken aback by your bite, and then smiles. Careful, darling , you hear in your head, if I have to take you over my knee, I won’t be asking anyone to leave first.

You squeeze your thighs together at the threat, the heat building between them becoming uncomfortable. You’re desperate. You need him.

That bad, hm? he asks.

You watch as he takes a sip of wine, his eyes never leaving yours.

Say the word and they’re gone, or continue to torture yourself. Up to you.

The prick wanted you to ask for it. Beg for it. As if your thoughts hadn’t been enough.

That “prick” will not hesitate to punish you in front of our friends.

You feel yourself clench around nothing.

Please, Rhys , you give in.

He smirks, taking another sip from his glass. Please, what?

You swallow your pride. Not that there’s much left of it. Please fuck me.

Please fuck you, where?

This ass—

His eyebrows raise — your final warning — and it stops your thought dead in its tracks. You take a deep breath.

Please fuck me on the table, Rhys.

He grins. All you had to do was ask.

You put your shield up for a brief second so you can mentally roll your eyes in peace. When it comes down, Az, Cassian, and Mor are getting up from their seats.

“We eat here,” Cassian reminds the both of you as he stands.

Rhys is looking at you with hungry eyes as he replies, “Who says I won’t be eating?”

“Eugh!” Mor groans, making her way towards the exit. “At least wait until I’m out of earshot.”

Cassian snorts before following her out, Azriel having been the first to leave.

And now it’s just you and Rhys and the table between you.

You blink, and suddenly his face is inches from yours, leaning over you with his hands resting on your thighs as he smirks at your shaky breaths. You can’t bring yourself to look him in the eye. He places a curled pointer finger underneath your chin, his thumb slowly tracing over your bottom lip, letting out a low chuckle at how your mouth begins to open ever so slightly.

He leans in, his lips meeting yours with a gentleness that doesn’t quite match the lust in his eyes, and you know you’re in for a long night. It could be hours before you were going to feel the release you had been begging him for.

“As far as I’m concerned, I shouldn’t let you cum at all, considering the names I’ve been called,” he murmurs, as he kisses your way up your jaw line, down your neck.

You whimper at the notion, at the thought of being left reeling, wanting, on the table. Right now, you can’t imagine anything worse.

“That’s very dramatic,” he whispers, his voice lined with a teasing smile. You watch him drop to his knees in front of you, slowly pushing your long gown up to your thighs. “But if you truly cannot imagine anything worse, then I suppose I’ll give you what you want, my darling girl.”

You tense at his words, at the way he grabs ahold of your leg and places it over his shoulder, at the way he licks his lips, as if he’s about to dig into his favorite meal.

He stops. “Of course, I had forgotten,” he says, and there’s a flash of darkness before you find yourself lying on the table, with Rhys kneeling at the end of it. His hands are gripping the underside of your thighs, pushing them upwards and outwards. In one fell swoop, he rips off the black lace covering your core, baring you to him. “I eat my meals at the table.”

You let your head fall onto the hard surface underneath you. Fuck .

“Oh, I plan to,” he replies, placing a soft kiss on your inner thigh. “But I’m going to have my fun first.”

You swear his tongue has magic of its own with the way it moves between your folds, pulling short breaths from your lungs as he circles it around your clit, never staying in one spot long enough to grant you the release that you so badly crave. When he adds two fingers, your back arches off the table, and you whimper as you feel his magic pinning you down in response.

“ Please , Rhys,” you practically sob, your thighs quaking as you try to remain still, trying to keep your orgasm at bay.

“You’re not going to cum already, are you, darling?” he asks, but you know it’s not a question you can say ‘yes’ to. You know you’re his . You won’t cum until he tells you to.

He chuckles at your thoughts. “Good girl,” he praises, his fingers curling inside you at just the right spot, and the combination of the two almost sends you over the edge. Almost. Minutes pass, but they feel like hours. You find yourself on the precipice of release too many times to count, having to take deep breaths to keep yourself grounded. Eventually, you accept this new tortured existence.

Very dramatic , Rhys teases.

You yelp as he stops his ministrations and pulls out of you too abruptly for your liking, standing up before pulling you to the edge of the table and flipping you over by your hips, your bare feet meeting the cool marble floor. It only takes seconds before he’s dragging his cock through your soaked folds, teasing you even further. You wiggle your ass — a silent plea — and he spanks it in return — an audible warning to be still that echoes through the dining hall.

“Ow!” you whine, forcing your body to comply with his demand.

Another smack, on the other cheek this time.

“Rhys!”

“Do I need to gag you? Or are you going to quit your whining?”

Another hit, harder than the others. A test. You remain silent and still.

“Although I must admit… I do love watching your ass change colors.” You brace yourself for another hit that never comes. Instead, you get no warning as Rhys thrusts into you in one swift motion. “But I’ll save it for the next time you feel like mouthing off.”

You grip the edges of the table as he pounds into you, his hand coming to wrap around your shoulder for leverage, his cock filling you up, hitting your sweet spot with every stroke. Your moans are unsteady and never-ending, only interrupted by the expletives falling from your lips.

“Oh m-my — fuck — Rhys!”

He smirks, grabbing a fistful of your hair and pulling you up off of the table, your back flush with his muscled, tattooed chest. You start to wonder when his shirt came off before you realize that his hands are holding your bare breasts, rolling your nipples between his fingers. Magic has a number of uses — making clothes vanish off bodies being one of them.

He continues to thrust into you as one of his hands makes its way down to your core, swollen and throbbing. When his skillful fingers find your clit, you throw your head back onto his shoulder.

“Pleasepleasepleaseplease,” you chant. You’re unsure of how much longer you can take it. Five agonizing seconds pass — then ten — and then —

“Go ahead, darling, I’m right behind you,” he orders, and you practically scream as your orgasm washes over you, as you feel his cock twitch inside you, filling you up. “Fuuuuck,” he rasps, his hands holding onto your hips now as you fall forward onto the table from exhaustion, letting the cold surface cool your skin.

Moments later, Rhys collapses on top of you, holding himself up by his forearms, caging you in between them. He’s still inside you as he trails soft kisses from one shoulder blade to the other.

I love you , he sends down the bond, still catching his breath.

A tired smile creeps onto your lips. I love you, too.

#rhysand x reader #acotar #acomaf #acotar fanfiction

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swamiiyasssss · 3 months

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Make-up Sex w/ Vox Pt. 1

A/N: AHH TYSM all for the love on my previous Vox post. I still can't get enough of this man . I need to rearrange his wiring system. Enjoy this angsty/smutty drabble with our TV munchkin. Also...Small reference to THAT Margot Robbie & Di'caprio sex scene in Wolf of Wall Street.;)

NSFW BELOW

Arguments can get pretty nasty between the both of you. He’s loud, and you’ll be damned if you aren’t louder.

Although….you’d be lying if you said you didn’t get turned on by him angry and raging like that. You had a hunch he was like that too lol

Still, this recent argument, something about Alastor being ”touchy-feely” with you at a gala, ( ugh, you should let Vox just fuck him, he’s EVERYWHERE in your relationship ) made you mad. Like, really mad at him. This was certainly a first. You’ve been annoyed, teased, but never real deal pissed at the TV demon....

You’ve been aware of his insecurities, he’s a soft soul like that, but to outright insinuate you’re cheating on him?? With his nemesis of all people???? Someone slap this idiot.

You two stopped talking for the following days after the argument. A lot of side sneers, comments and eye-rolls. Certainly, a lot of pent-up energy, with nowhere to be released.

“Pass me the salt, please?” You gritt out the ‘please’, a real effort to begin peace negotiations.

He grimaces. “Like you’re gonna pass yourself around to Him?” His eyes don’t leave the newspaper.

“Fuck you,” Tears swell, your appetite is lost, and the day ruined.

So this was the game he was playing? Fine, You’ll play it alright.

You stumble back to your shared bedroom. You don’t notice him standing up, trying to apologise. He took it too far. He knew he’s been wrong, but he shares your stubborn streak. Still, he won’t loose the one anchor in his life; you.

Too late. You’re out for blood.

You’re gonna punish this man in the most delicious way possible, give him a taste of his own medicine.

You manned your battle-armour, a sultry, deep purple lingerie, covering your figure with intricate lush lace patterns. And your thighs, the same one’s he literally melted for, were donned in sheer stockings. A pretty present ready to be burst opened. You were gonna make him go haywire.

You braided your hair, wore your favourite jewellery, a necklace wit a diamond ‘V’ pendant on, a gift HE gave, and headed out to the door, ready for a ‘night out with the girls’, or so he thought.

“Where do you think you’re going?” His eyes are locked on your body, on your waist. Everywhere. Jaw dropped.

You clicked your tongue. "Friend's invited me to the club. I’ll be out late.” You made sure to sway your hips oh-so-slightly as you turned around to get your bag. “Don’t wait up for me.”

He barked a laugh. Electricity rippled around him. You smiled. This was too easy. “Wait up for you? Baby, what makes you think I’m letting you leave looking like that?” He starts coming closer.

You stand your ground. “Like what?” You bat your eyelashes; his knees almost buckle.

The hallway light dances on the curve of your waist. He teleports to you, just enough to cage you in against the wall. He claws the concrete next to your head. Blood rushes to your clit. Its ecstasy.

“Don’t fucking play with me, cute stuff.”

"You started this shit." You spit, grabbing him by his collar. His eyes flare into a neon red.

He trips on himself, almost falling on to you, and you watch his lips almost touching yours. "...You're finishing it too."

Something primal kickstarts in his wiring. HE THROWS you over his shoulder; you squeal, and teleports you both to the couch in the middle of the living room.

The leather bounces under your weight as he pushes you down. He's unbuckling his belt, taking off his clothes, muttering curses under his breathe.

"Fuck-- Aren't you just a peice of work."

" You planned this, didn't you? Slut."

"I'm gonna fuck this attitude out of you, beautiful."

You just sat there. Admiring him. Pitiying him. He wasn't ready for what you were about to say. You almost backed out, but Hell, this was too good.

As he was struggling with his buckle, you extended a leg, your high-heeled platforms already on. Your foot stops his palms on his beltline. He snarls. He looks up at you, glaring. "What are you doing."

You shake your head "I'm mad at you, Vox." With a heavy sigh, you drop the bomb. " When I'm mad, this TV demon isn't gonna touch me for a very, very long time."

His face is priceless.

It's not his fault you look so damn gorgeous in the lace, with his initial moving up and down on the curve of your chest. You're breathing hard; he's breathing harder. He needs to be in you, say sorry and be sorry in his own special way.

"And from now on, " You spread your legs farther, and you swear you can see his heart dropping in his chest. "It's nothing but short, short skirts around the house."

You curl your tongue. "Honey."

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Pt. 2 coming soon !

#vox x you #vox x reader #vox hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #hazbin hotel x you #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #helluva boss #swami writes!#fanfiction #fanfic

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niyabiblioteca · 11 months

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nsfw ablpabet: choi yeonjun

A: AFTERCARE

- i feel like yeonjun is the type to go from the most sexy and degrading (if you’re into that) dominant ever to the softest man alive for aftercare. he wouldn’t even take long to get into it because he feels like a minute wasted will make you feel unwanted or used and that’s the last thing he wants. will finish and immediately jump up to clean you up and then cuddle and praise you incessantly afterwards.

B: BODY PART

- yeonjun is definitely a thigh or waist kind of guy to me. i feel like he likes groping your thighs or belly when he gets the chance while fucking the cognitive thought out of you. even when you’re not having sex he can’t keep himself from touching them. he really could die with his head between your thighs and would honestly fuck his hard length between them if given the chance. but of course would get you off right after.

C: CUM

- yeonjun, no matter where his dick actually is during sexy time, will almost always find a way to finish all over your face. he doesn’t even care if it gets in your mouth or not. just seeing your gorgeous face covered in his thick release as you smile adorably back at him is enough to make his knees week. the sight of you looking so happy, blessed even, to receive it even while catching your breath is a sight he could never get tired of. hell, he might bust again just from seeing it.

D: DIRTY SECRET

- yeonjun kinda sorta definitely wants to fuck you in front of an audience. is it a power thing? is it his need to always show out and perform? even he doesn’t know. he just knows that he has thought about spreading you out on the coffee table in the living room and fucking your brains out before the eyes of all his members far too many times than he would ever admit. and it would be even better if his members got as turned on watching as he is imagining it. but alas, unless you bring it up yourself, we will take that to the grave.

E: EXPERIENCE

- yes, i am aware that this may be cliche or whatever, but i definitely think that yeonjun is experienced. i think he’s very well versed in all the ways to make a woman tick in all the right ways and has honed his skills to where he goes into every sexual encounter with unwavering confidence. he’s not shy about it either, i feel. but he’s also not the type to be cocky about it or act as if its a job. he enjoys the experiences just as much as the women seem to and is always happy to properly please.

F: FAVORITE POSITION

- anything that involves intense eye contact. more recently, doggy in front of a mirror. there’s many reasons for this train of thought. number one, those deep seductive fox eyes of his could probably make anyone melt in his hands. you know it, i know it, and in this case, so does he. he loves to see the way your pupils dilate and gloss over every time he pushes into you and especially loves to see your eyes roll back when he brushes against that sensitive spot inside of you. seeing you struggle to hold eye contact is also a huge ego boost as well.

G: GOOFY

- while i don’t think he’s too serious, i don’t think he would be a full blown clown during it. i mean, hes not childish, he understands that it’s sex and sometimes funny things can happen. he has no problem dropping the act to lightly giggle at something that happened, as long as you’re laughing with him too. he doesn’t want to make you embarrassed or uncomfortable because he doesn’t take it that seriously and feels that you shouldn’t either.

H: HAIR

-i think that yeonjun doesn’t really care about how you handle your hair down there. i think he’s definitely big on minding his own business (like a LOT of these people should) and never tries to tell someone what to do with their bodies, even if he is sleeping with them. as for himself, i don’t think he feels that going completely bald is necessary but he does keep it trimmed for maximum comfort on both ends.

I: INTIMACY

-how romantic yeonjun is really depends on the atmosphere and it is so easy for him to adjust. if your intention is to just chase a mind-numbing orgasm that you know he can provide over and over, he’s able to cater to that need and will call you whatever name you please during it. but let’s say you’re feeling down or need some affection, he will definitely become a soft love maker instantly. he wants to make it crystal clear that he loves you and worships your body to make sure that the message gets across.

J: JACK OFF

-i think that yeonjun is the type to rush when it comes to masturbating. while he would usually take his sweet time when ravaging your body like he does so well, he wouldn’t take the same care with himself. he needs to be able to nut and walk out the door, and i feel he has become great at that. i don’t think he needs an ambience or even porn to watch, although he will occasionally. he gives most of his energy when he is intimate with another person.

K: KINK

- yeonjun is totally down for overstimulation (giving and receiving). one one end, he loves to make you shake and quiver after making you cum more times than you even thought you could. nothing gets his blood flowing like seeing your tears build up from the overwhelming sensation (dacryphilia sneak too). but on the other end, if you make him cum with your mouth for instance, but you don’t pull off right away? oh he could combust right then and there. he would probably go so far as to overstimulate himself.

L: LOCATION

-now i personally think that for maximum comfort on both sides, a bedroom is ideal to do anything sexual. but, as i said for him being a bit of an exhibitionist, he wouldn’t be opposed to anywhere public, but not exactly out for everyone to see. so car, fitting room, bathroom, kitchen, and other places people could just walk up and come to.

M: MOTIVATION

- i feel like it isn’t exactly easy to get yeonjun riled up, but he’s not a stone either. sometimes it really depends on the day. some days just you wearing a short skirt will get him as hard as a rock, and other days it might just get an ass grab and a kiss. he doesn’t come off as a brat tamer to me, so i don’t think you acting out will do much either. he’s just a regular guy with regular turn ons.

N: NO

-now because i see yeonjun as a very open-minded person in terms of sex, i don’t think he would have any hard limits. but i will say i don’t think that he would want to be hurt in any way and i feel like he also wouldn’t be too much into pet names (for him). he prefers his name.

O: ORAL

-now i think we as moas can all agree, those lips are poppin. they’re always so soft and plump and moisturized, so he HAS to be good at using em!(my logic is weird but i gotta segue this somehow) i think he knows all the tricks of the trade when it comes to eating pussy. he knows all the techniques of licking and sucking and rubbing and flicking and the whole shabang. he loves going down on you before and after you guys actually fuck. as for receiving, he seems to be the type who doesn’t mind it getting sloppy or messy. in fact, it turns him on even more, and your gags also give him a lil ego boost.

P: PACE

- i personally think that yeonjun enjoys going hard and fast because he wants to get you drooling and cumming as quickly and as much as possible in record time. doesn’t mean he can’t switch it up and go slow or sensual, though. he just feels more comfortable pistoning into you at unforgiving speeds in order to get you making a mess around him.

Q: QUICKIES

-i feel like he would only choose quickies for two reasons: one, because he’s busy as hell and is often booked up but doesn’t want to leave you without any relief at all, and two, because he gets randomly horny in places where you guys can’t exactly take your time, so he decides to be a fuckin jackrabbit about the situation. outside of those two reasons, i don’t see him preferring quickies.

R: RISK

- i hate to keep coming back to the exhibitionist thing, but i just love it so much. unless he realizes that you’re into it too, he will remain 50/50 on doing sexual things in risky places. but if you are into it and let him know, he would probably choose to do risky shit in semi-public places on purpose. he likes to make it into a game: can you be quiet long enough to get us both off and get out of here before anyone notices, or will you ultimately get us banned from wherever the hell we are. and trust me, he’s fine either way.

S: STAMINA

- now one thing about us extroverts, we do not get tired easily. you may find us awake in the wee hours of the morning most of the time. so given that information, i think that he would probably perform without faultering for quite a long time. if he can do so while performing on stage, he can make that translate to the bedroom. as long you’re up for it, he can go all night.

T: TOYS

- i think whether or not yeonjun has toys heavily depends on if he’s in a relationship or not. if not, i doubt he would have one, if any at all. and if he did it would be something simple and mundane like a fleshlight or something. but if he is in a relationship, he would have a drawer designated for toys used between the two of you. i don’t think he would be into bondage so nothing of that nature but definitely some basic vibrators and things like that. i think the most extreme would be a cock ring or nipple clamps or something (the restricting one).

U: UNFAIR

- i think yeonjun can be a little shit when he wants to be. he would do some grimey shit just to get you squirming in your seat occasionally . but then again, just look at him. look at that fucking face. more often than not, he’s not even trying to tease you, it’s just your body working on it’s own. not that he’s complaining of course, it’s all the more fun for him in his book.

V: VOLUME

- yeonjun is a relatively loud person in and out of the bedroom. he knows when to shut up and when he can really let loose. if he’s trying to stay quiet then he would really just breathe heavily and maybe whisper some curses here and there. but if he’s allowed to be as loud as he wants, whew he’s swearing, praising you, degrading you, grunting, and sometimes just little whimpers because he knows how much those turn you on.

W: WILD CARD

-my personal headcannon for yeonjun is that i think he likes to record. not record the actual act of you and him fucking, but just the audio for him to use when he’s away from you and needs some material. your moans and his groans mixed with the heavy breathing and skin slapping and bed creaking all make for a hell of a jerk off session. once he gets permission from you, he would quickly get to work on an illustrious spank bank.

X: X-RAY

- now i’m not gonna be one of those who immediately say they’re fave has a fucking colossal dick because i don’t think he does. not saying it’s small either, but i’m just saying it’s probably average at most. he’s never been insecure about that though, mostly because he prides himself on his “motion of the ocean” and truly hates that whole ideal that big dick equals amazing sex. he is living proof that that is bullshit.

Y: YEARNING

- his sex drive is regular to him but absolutely insane to anyone else. he wakes up, wants to fuck. eats breakfast, wants to fuck. sits in an uber while listening to music, wants to fuck badly. with the way his sex drive is, you’d think he doesn’t get much action at all.

Z: ZZZ

- again, us extroverts don’t get tired easily. he uses that to his advantage when it comes to aftercare. he can do so much for you after the deed that by the time he’s done, you both are sleeping while cuddling together, which he honestly prefers.

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how dare i leave for 2 damn months and come back without a proper fic. anyway, not too much on me please, im a new moa as of a week ago sooo yeah

#txt smut #choi yeonjun #yeonjun smut #yeonjun x reader #txt hard thoughts

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jaemsljn · 1 year

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Snow on Concrete | LHC

SUMMARY: You and Donghyuck had been on bad terms for many years now, even though you share a friend group. Your opinion of him is thrown of its axis, however, when you pull his name for Secret Santa. It seems your friend group had finally gotten sick of the tension between the two of you. Can you both get over your pride for the sake of Christmas? Or does it run too deep?

A/N: this is part of a series of fics I'm going to release leading up to Christmas!! I'm very excited its gonna be each nct dream member in a different christmas/winter scenario.. and I'm going to post a prompt list so you can request for other non dream members as well!! I hope you guys enjoy!!

PAIRING: haechan x gn!reader

WORD COUNT: 7121

GENRE: kinda angsty? enemies to lovers vibes, fluff at the end

WARNINGS: cursing, mark refers to reader as man and dude but that's just bc it’s mark reader isn’t actually gendered, mentions your grandma passing in childhood, I think that’s it let me know if I missed anything!

You weren’t quite sure the exact moment your years of not quite silent dislike for Donghyuck began, all you know is that it’s been lingering in the air for what seems like forever now. It didn’t help that you shared a friend group, meaning you had little to no chance of avoiding him.

You tried to like the boy, you really did. There was just something about how cocky he was, that stupid smirk he was always wearing, the color of his dumb eyes, and the way his voice sounded like a melody everytime he spoke that made you annoyed by his presence.

That’s why when Renjun informs you that Donghyuck’s going to be present when you guys hang out tonight you’re half tempted to say no.

“You’re being dramatic. It’s not gonna be that bad.” Renjun scolds as he practically drags you out the door to his car.

“Jun, I know you think it’s not that bad but the whole time we’re in a room together I can feel him quietly simmering at my very existence.”

Renjun chuckles at your dramatics, well used to this weird rivalry between you two.

“It’s not like he’s the only one! You give him nothing to work with, y/n. Do you expect him to be nothing but kind and friendly to you when you clearly don’t like him? Besides, he’s really not as bad as you think he is. You just have to give him a chance.”

You fight the urge to roll your eyes at your far too optimistic friend and instead elect to just take pause as you hop into his passenger seat, closing the door behind you. When Renjun is in the car and beginning to start the ignition you continue the conversation.

“I’ve tried to like him I really have! There’s just something about him that irks me. And it’s not as one sided as you guys make it seem he’s said shitty stuff to me too. Even when he doesn’t say anything to me he’s always glaring at me like I just took out his entire family and burnt down his house.”

“I think you just take everything he does too personally if i’m honest with you, y/n. He doesn’t have this vendetta against you that you seem to think he does. Seriously. He’s never once said anything bad about you when you’re not around.”

You laugh sarcastically at his words, “I find that very hard to believe.”

Renjun sighs at your stubbornness and seems to give up on the conversation. He turns the radio up and you silently look out the window, feeling a little guilty.

The drive passes by somewhat quickly, not another word being exchanged between you and your friend.

When Renjun has finished parking you take a deep calming breath and get out of the car. You begin slowly walking towards Mark’s apartment, leaving enough time for Renjun to catch up to you before you make it to the door.

He rings the buzzer for Mark to let you in and sighs, yet again, before turning to speak to you.

“Will you please just try to get along with him? It’s almost christmas.”

You consider for a moment before relenting.

“Fine. But if he says something rude to me I’m not gonna just take it.”

“That’s fine. I’m not asking you to let him walk all over you. I’m just asking you to attempt civility for the sake of the holiday.”

As Renjun finishes his sentence the door buzzes open and you both begin your ascent up the stairs to Mark’s apartment.

The moment you knock at Mark’s door it swings open to reveal Donghyuck. Speak of the devil and he shall appear.

“Hey Hyuck.”

Donghyuck and Renjun pull eachother into some sort of bro hug and exchange greetings. You stand there, admittedly slightly uncomfortable, as you wait for the two boys to finish their moment.

When Donghyuck and Renjun turn to you you have to physically suppress the urge to frown at the aforementioned boy. Instead, you give him what hopefully looks like a polite smile.

He, in return, maintains a completely stoic expression and turns to walk into the apartment. So much for civility.

You look to Renjun with an eyebrow raised as to say Do you see what i’m fucking talking about?

But he just shakes his head and turns on his heels to enter the apartment. You let out one more self pitying sigh before quietly closing the door and walking into Mark’s apartment.

Mark’s place isn’t the biggest but it’s quite cozy. It’s in the middle of all of your guys’ places so you always end up hanging out here.

You walk further in and are met by the man in question standing in the kitchen grabbing a large amount of cups to assumingely get drinks for everybody.

“Oh shit! Hey dude! I’m glad you could make it. You mind helping me with all this?”

“Of course. I’m glad I could make it too I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Mark smiles at your response, nodding sympathetically.

“Exams have been rough, man. We all missed you though! Why didn’t you come hang with us last weekend?” You silently begin helping mark pull down cups for the drinks as you continue your conversation.

“I was finishing up an essay for my english class. I missed you guys too though.”

Mark makes a face of realization where he stands at the fridge grabbing a diet coke for Donghyuck.

“Oh shit, yeah I think Hyuck mentioned that. Aren’t you guys in the same english class?”

You nod awkwardly. You did have the same english class, but, you’d never actually spoken to him in it.

“Well that sucks, man. I don’t know why she gave you guys an assignment so close to break. Uh, can you just grab those few drinks and i’ll carry these ones?”

You respond affirmatively and grab the few drinks Mark couldn’t carry and follow him towards the living room. As you walk in you overhear the end of a conversation.

Jeno is saying something about how who you assume is Donghyuck is “completely hopeless” based off the fact Donghyuck mutters a quick “fuck off” before they hear you and Mark enter and they suddenly get quiet.

“Hey! Look who the cat dragged in.” Jaemin is the first to speak. Jumping up to help you with the drinks before pulling you into a hug.

When you pull away Jeno is right behind him pulling you into another hug, greeting you as he does.

Then comes Chenle and Jisung doing so as well. When you’ve finally been passed around the room to all the boys that hadn’t greeted you yet you grab the free seat in between Chenle and Jisung on Mark’s tiny loveseat. Jaemin and Jeno are squeezed together on an arm chair that’s definitely made for one person. Jaemin is sitting more so on Jeno than the chair in a very typical Jaemin fashion.

Renjun and Donghyuck are on the couch, Mark coming to sit next to Donghyuck, handing him his coke as he does.

Chatter immediately fills the space, everybody lamenting about the exams they had just finished.

You get sidetracked in a conversation with Jisung about the newest Marvel movie that’s just been released when suddenly Mark is standing up and clapping his hands to gather everybody’s attention.

Donghyuck scoffs, “What is this a middle school assembly?”

The fact you have to hold back a laugh makes you somehow hate his presence even more. It seems the boy notices the fact you found him amusing because when you look up at him, barely contained giggle still present on your lips he simply smirks and looks back at Mark.

“Shut the fuck up, Hyuck. Anyways, i’ve made the executive decision that we’re gonna do secret santa. Nobody has the money to buy everybody gifts so this’ll be way easier on our wallets. I already have all the names ready so everybody come up one at a time and i’ll give you a random name.”

Jaemin is the first to stand, making grabby hands at Mark, who had at some point gotten out a bunch of folded pieces of paper from god knows where.

Mark gives Jaemin a slip of paper and announces that everybody should wait until we all have a name to look at them.

One by one everybody receives a name. You’re the last to go. You get your paper and sit back down at your spot on the loveseat.

Mark takes his spot back next to Donghyuck and tells everybody to look at their paper.

You slowly unfold the slip.

Motherfucker.

Written in black inc on the paper is the name you had wanted to avoid the most.

Donghyuck <3

And to add insult to injury Mark had put a little heart next to his name, almost as if he knew you’d be the one receiving it. That asshole.

You look up at the owner of the name on your paper and are shocked to find him already looking at you, an unreadable expression on his face. You avert your gaze embarrassed that you were caught looking at him and instead choose to pester Jisung to tell you who he got, trying to ignore that the entire time you can feel Donghyuck’s gaze burning into the side of your head.

“Jeno seriously! Just trade me! Just this once! I’ll do whatever you want!” You whine at Jeno from the passenger seat of his car. Renjun was staying late at Mark’s so Jeno offered to give you a ride home.

Jaemin laughs from the backseat clearly amused at your suffering.

“Jaemin… please… remember when I wrote your english essay for you? Remember that? Remember how kind and generous I was for doing that for you? Hm?”

Jaemin laughs even harder when you turn your begging to him.

“Neither of us are gonna trade you, y/n. This is kinda hilarious.” You almost hit Jeno for his love of your misery but decide not to just incase it made him accidentally crash the car you were all in. Well. On second thought, maybe that wouldn’t be so bad.

“Why did I have to pick his name? The universe hates me. What am I even gonna get him?”

Jaemin cannot seem to stop laughing at your misery. You throw a sharp glare at him which only doubles his clear glee.

“We’re not even supposed to know who you picked, yet you want us to also help you find a gift? Seems a little fucked up don’t you think, babe?”

“First of all, don’t call me babe when you’re laughing at my agony, Na Jaemin. Second of all, I know nothing about Donghyuck’s interests I seriously need help guys.”

The last time you’d heard Donghyuck talk about any of the things he likes it had been years ago and he wasn’t event talking to you. You’d just happened to hear him mention to Mark that he wanted this new playstation game that was coming out. There was no way he still wanted it or didn’t already have it.

“Um, I think he’s into music right now? He’s been mentioning this one band a lot but I don’t remember what they’re called.”

God bless Jeno for giving you something to work with.

“Okay, I can do something with that. Lemme check his social media.”

You pull out your phone and open twitter. You quickly locate his account in your recently searched.

You begin scrolling through his tweets desperately looking for anything mentioning a band or singer.

“Got it!” you pause, sending Jeno a wry glance, “Michael Jackson? Seriously, Jeno? You couldn’t remember Michael Jackson? And you thought he was a band?”

Jeno just shrugs at you and looks back to the road.

“Wasn’t he into collecting vinyls for awhile? Does he have Michael Jackson ones? That would be a good gift, right?”

“Oh yeah and you know nothing about his interests, right?” Jaemin responds with a teasing lilt to his voice.

“Ignoring Jaemin, yes he is still into collecting vinyls and no I don’t think he has any Michael Jackson ones.” Thank the lord.

“He doesn’t. He gave me a quote unquote vinyl haul at the apartment the other day and he didn’t have any Michael Jackson ones.” Jaemin answers, finally deciding to be helpful.

“Alright. I can work with that. This will be fine.” You say more to yourself than to the boys.

“Yeah you definitely don’t care what he thinks of you.” Never mind. Jaemin is never helpful.

“I don’t care what he thinks of me. I just don’t wanna be the grinch of the friend group.” Nobody in the car seems super convinced.

As you end your sentence Jeno pulls up to your apartment. You say goodbye to the boys, giving Jaemin a quick hug when he gets out to take your spot up front before waving them off and walking up to your place.

Alright. Michael Jackson vinyl. You got this.

You stop by a record shop the next day and pick out a few vinyls for Donghyuck. You get a couple really early ones, a few of his later works, and one that has his greatest hits on it for good measure.

On your walk back to your apartment you stop by the store to get some wrapping paper and tape and head back home.

Maybe this wouldn’t be as much of a shit show as you thought it would be.

The date you’d set to exchange your gifts approaches quickly. Chenle had told you he’d had to scramble to get his secret santa gift the day before and you’d laughed at him telling him you’d gotten yours the day after you’d hung out. You felt bad for whoever was receiving the gift Chenle had bought.

You’d gone a bit over the spending limit you’d all set, not even really knowing why. Maybe it was the christmas spirit.

Jeno and Jaemin pull up to pick you up, blasting obnoxious christmas music that you could hear from the stoop of your apartment.

You pull your coat tighter around you to combat the biting winter air and walk to his car as fast as you can.

The minute you’re settled in the back of the car Jaemin is turning to you and speaking with a teasing grin.

“So, did you get his gift?”

You roll your eyes at him before responding.

“Obviously I got him a gift, Jaemin. I wouldn’t just not get him anything i’m not that much of a dick.

Jeno mutters something under his breath along the lines of only to Donghyuck but you choose to ignore it for the sake of Christmas.

The car ride is spent with all of you loudly singing along to Jaemin’s holiday playlist.

When Jeno pulls up to your destination you begin to feel almost nervous. What if Donghyuck absolutely hated the gift? What if he already had all of these vinyls?

You pause for a moment.

Why do you care what Donghyuck would think about the gift? It’s not like you like him all that much anyways. You shrug it off as the holiday spirit getting to you once again.

Your thoughts are interrupted by Jeno opening your car door, clearly exasperated that you were taking so long judging off the sudden burst of chivalry.

The three of you make your way up to Mark’s apartment and the nerves begin to build again.

Why were you so anxious?

Jaemin knocks on the door, cutting the silence. This time Mark is the one to usher you all into the house.

He’d given all of you the same cheesy Christmas bag to put your respective gifts in so people couldn’t figure out who their giver was based off the wrappings. Pretty smart on his part in all honesty.

You three take off your winter gear and make your way into the living room. You find that all of your friends had beaten you there.

In the week you hadn’t been to his apartment Mark had decked it out in a shit ton of christmas decorations. He even had a small tree decorated in the corner of the room.

The room was dim and lit by christmas lights lining the corners of the walls and adorning the tree. He had his TV quietly playing christmas music, it was amazingly cozy and cute.

Everybody stands up to greet the three of you, Mark taking your gifts to set them with the rest of the ones sitting under the tree. You hug all the boys until you’re left staring at Donghyuck. You’re taken aback by how… well… adorable he looks.

He had a red sweater on that has “Merry Christmas” written in loopy letters on the front. The sweater is tucked into a pair of black skinny jeans that look absolutely amazing on him. His dark brown, almost black hair is parted in the middle, a few strands falling onto his forehead.

The boy just smiles awkwardly at your staring and you swear you can feel yourself begin to blush at the fact you’d been caught ogling the guy you supposedly dislike. You give him a strained smile back and move to sit next to Renjun and Jeno on the loveseat.

When you sit Renjun gives you a look. You don’t have the energy to decode what it means so you simply ignore it.

“Can we get on with the gift giving? I wanna see what my secret santa got me. As a fair warning though, if it’s another korean textbook i’m seriously hurting everybody in this room.” Chenle says, giving everybody a pointed glance.

He’s obviously still upset over last year’s gift exchange. You weren’t sure who got it for him because they’d never owned up to it. You have a suspicion that’s it was Jaemin because of the note that read “Our baby Chenle needs to study a little more. help jisungie too while you’re at it <3” that was included with it.

Mark agrees and makes quick work of beginning to pass out the gifts.

Your interest in your own gift is outweighed by your nervousness for Donghyuck to open his. You try to ignore the feeling but it gets the best of you and you glance over at the boy perched on the arm chair only to find that, once again, he’s already looking at you.

You notice the way he’s picking at the skin around his fingernails but quickly look back to your gift, not wanting him to notice you staring.

Mark finishes passing the presents out, not without a few comments from your friends, before he’s taking a seat next to Jisung and Jaemin on the couch. Chenle, who had been standing by the arm of the couch takes a seat on the floor in front of Mark.

Mark gives everybody the go ahead to open their gifts and your nerves double. You look over at Donghyuck for a moment before realizing you need to actually open your own present.

You reach into the bag and pull out a small box neatly wrapped in wrapping paper. The paper is covered in cartoon cats wearing santa hats and you almost coo at the sight. Jeno notices as well and comments on how cute it is. You begin to open the gift deliberately, careful not to rip the poor kittens to shreds.

You swear you hear Donghyuck let out a huff of amusement but don’t pay it much mind.

You finally get the wrapping paper undone and open the box housing your gift.

You gasp at the sight in front of you.

It was an exact replica of a pair of gloves your grandmother had made you when you were little. You absolutely loved them and had been heartbroken when you outgrew them. Your grandmother had passed when you were young so you couldn’t ask her to make you another pair so you simply kept the gloves in a drawer next to your bed, sad that you could no longer use them.

You’re in complete shock. You slip one of the gloves on to find they fit perfectly and your amazement doubles. The gloves were a shade of a darkish sky blue with a white heart on the wrist, accompanied with your name sewed into the right glove next to the little heart.

They were exactly the same as your last pair. You then belatedly notice a note in the bottom of the box.

“The only picture I had of them was the one you posted on instagram so i’m sorry if they’re not exactly the same. I really tried to match the colors as best as I could and told the lady to make them as close to the original as she was able to. Even if they’re not perfect I hope you like them. I know the last pair meant a lot to you. and i hope you don’t think it’s weird or anything for me to have these made…”

You don’t notice the tears leaking out of your eyes until Renjun is bumping his shoulder with yours and whispering to you.

“Are you crying?”

You nod shakily and turn to fully show him the gloves. Renjun having known you when you received the original pair, knew how truly adoring you were of those little things.

His eyes widen almost comically at the sight.

“Woah! Those are almost exactly the same! That’s insane!”

You sniffle a little and whisper back to your friend, “I honestly never thought of having somebody make me new ones. I cant believe somebody thought to do this… It really wasn’t you?”

Renjun shakes his head.

“I honestly wouldn’t have thought of that either. That’s amazing though. Makes me feel like my gift giving sucked.”

You let out a soft laugh and go back to admiring the glove on your hand. You stroke a soft finger over the embroidery of your name. It looks exactly the same.

Renjun nudges you once again and points to your bag, there was another box inside.

You smile gratefully and glance up at the others in the room, hoping they weren’t paying particular attention to your emotional outburst. You wanna immediately ask who got these for you so you can tell them how truly touched you are but you decide to wait until everybody’s done.

You look to Mark and find him holding a cheetah stuffie wearing a little snapback, clearly meant to look like him. Jisung next to him has a game for some sort of console, and Chenle below him is holding what looks to be a stuffed animal of a dog.

You then look over at Donghyuck. In what seems to be a new habit for him he’s already looking back at you. But, what shocks you is the soft, almost adoring smile on his face and the fact that his gift sits untouched in his lap. You widen your eyes at him in surprise and he immediately seems to snap out of his stupor and looks down at his gift, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck, before beginning to unwrap the square shaped present in his lap.

You ignore the way your chest lights up at the smile directed at you and move your attention back to your own gifts.

You carefully remove the glove from your hand and set the pair back snugly into the box, along with the hand written note. You place the lid on top and gently set it back in the bag, scared to somehow damage them.

You pick up the next box and unwrap it with just as much care as before. You almost laugh when you open it and find a pack of pens and pencils sitting inside. It’s accompanied with a sticky note that says, “Since you always lose yours ;)”

The complete shift in mood from your two presents almost gives you whiplash. You did have a habit of constantly misplacing your pens and pencils. But, it confuses you even more about who your gift giver could be. You didn’t necessarily announce your constant missing writing utensils so it had to be somebody you share a class with.

That means it had to be Donghyuck who you share an english class with, or Jisung and Chenle who you share a history class with.

Before you can give it much real thought you remember that Hyuck is opening the gift you got him and look over to see his reaction.

The boy is excitedly flipping the assorted vinyls over in his hands one by one. A barely concealed eager smile adorning his face.

You feel a weight being lifted of your shoulders.

“Should we show off what we got and guess who got us what?” Jaemin asks the group.

Everybody gives various murmurs of agreement and Jaemin takes this as a cue to show off his gift.

“Okay I got this $50 starbucks gift card. Which is literally the price limit. So whoever got this for me I love and adore you. I also got this film for my camera. My guess is… My little Chenle baby?”

“How did you know?” Chenle’s response is almost immediate and very loud, earning a laugh from you and your friends.

Jaemin walks over to the seated boy and grabs at his cheeks, Chenle swatting his hands away.

“Because it was just thoughtful yet distant enough for it to be you.” Jaemin drags his words out and uses that cute voice he does in a typical Jaemin way that has everybody laughing yet again.

Chenle simply scoffs but can’t hide the smile on his lips.

“Alright, since Jaemin guessed you right you go now Chenle.” Mark announces.

Chenle stands from his spot on the floor and looks around at all of you almost… suspiciously?

“I got this plushie that looks like Daegal. My baby. Mark’s sister. The light of my life.”

“Okay Chenle we get it you really love Daegal.” Jeno cuts the boys praise off with a chuckle lining his words.

“It’s important for me to remind you all, Jeno. They also put this collar on it that has her name which is cute. My guess is…”

Chenle looks around yet again narrowing his eyes warily at everybody.

“My guess is Mark.”

Mark smiles at the boy and shakes his head lightly. Jisung then speaks up.

“It was me. I thought you could take it with you when you have to be away from her. So you don’t miss her and stuff.”

Chenle smiles and pulls Jisung into a bro hug, albeit a bit awkwardly because Jisung is still seated on the couch.

Having had his gift revealed Jisung is the next to stand, Chenle taking his seat, cradling the Daegal stuffed animal in his arms.

Jisung holds up the game he’d received.

“I got this game I’ve wanted for weeks now but didn’t wanna spend my money on because christmas was coming up. Renjun’s the only one i’ve really told about it so I’m guessing it was him.”

Renjun gives an affirmative nod and Jisung lights up with a smile.

“Thanks. I’m really happy I got this. You’re the best, my universemate for a reason.”

Renjun stands and gives Jisung a side hug, laughing as he speaks.

“Yeah, now I just have to listen to you play it all night.”

Jisung laughs a little bashfully and comes to sit next to you on the couch.

He leans over to show you the game he’s gotten, clearly ecstatic about it. You smile and tell him how cool it looks, not actually having any interest in the game but you know he’s excited.

“Okay, I got these really nice paints. I’ve mentioned them a few times but honestly they’re so expensive I thought i’d have to save up for them for awhile. I’m not really sure who got them but i’m just gonna guess… Jeno?”

Jeno lights up in that eye smile of his and stands up, telling Renjun it was in fact him.

Renjun, in a rare show of true unadulterated affection, pulls Jeno in for a tight hug and thanks him, which Jeno just laughs and brushes off.

Renjun once again sits next to you on the loveseat, this time in Jeno’s spot.

“I got biking gloves. Also, a new strap for my guitar which says my name. So fucking cool. My guess is Jaemin? No wait Mark. My guess is Mark. Final answer.”

Mark laughs and nods pulling Jeno in for another infamous bro hug.

“I’m glad you like them, man. I was so scared you were gonna think it was lazy or something.”

“What? No, these are so cool. Seriously, dude, thank you.”

Jaemin yells something about how cute the two boys are and with that Mark grabs his little cheetah and begins his presentation.

“It’s a cheetah stuffed animal with a snapback. I’m assuming it’s supposed to look like me? Super awesome. He’s like my son. I’m gonna guess Jaemin?”

“His name is Cheetah Lee. He is your son.” Jaemin says with a smile.

“Bro, how did you get this tiny little hat for him? It’s so tiny! I didnt know they made little hats!”

Marks amazement at that fact a tiny hat for stuffed animals exists is truly adorable and you know your friends agree with the fond smiles filling the room.

“I ordered it online. It wouldn’t be your son without a little snapback.”

Jaemin’s already found his gift giver so he gestures for you to stand up and show yours.

As you grab the little boxes you come to the realization that there’s only one possibility left for who gave these to you.

You stand there, eyes wide, staring at the boy in question trying to make sense of it all in your head. Donghyuck seems to be avoiding your gaze, keeping his eyes locked on his fingers that he continues to pick at.

You suddenly feel a little ill.

“Uh, y/n? You gonna go?” Jeno asks.

“Um, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I got- I got distracted. Yeah, I’ll go.” Your friends seem a little confused at your sudden change in emotion but you try to ignore their questioning stares and attempt to swallow the emotion rising in your throat.

“Um, Okay so I got- Well when I was little I had these gloves my grandma made me. They were my favorite things in the whole world especially after she passed. At some point I outgrew them. And she was- Well y’know she passed so she couldn’t make me new ones. So i’ve just kept them in my bed side drawer all these years. I guess I posted them on instagram? And somebody had new ones made.”

You pause and try to blink away the tears filling your eyes, opening the box to show the the gloves.

“It seems dumb but i don’t know… those gloves meant so much to me and for some reason I just never thought of getting new ones made. And it’s crazy because these look exactly the same even down to the color of the thread that says my name.” A small hiccup leaves your mouth as tears begin to steadily flow from your eyes. This is… humiliating.

“I think I need a second… Just… give me a second.”

You’re immediately booking it to Mark’s front door, slipping your shoes on, and walking as fast as you can down the stairs to get outside.

It’s not until you’re outside that you realize it’s the middle of winter and your forgot your coat.

More tears leave your eyes as you look down at the gloves clasped in your shaky palms.

You distantly hear the apartment building door open and shut rather harshly. You turn and expect to see Renjun or even Mark but instead you’re met with Donghyuck standing in front of you.

His shoes are obviously hastily thrown on, he hadn’t even bothered to tie the laces and his heel was sticking out of one of them.

His coat was crooked on his body and his chest is rising and falling in rapid breaths.

You have no idea how to start. Before you can decide he’s sticking his arm out towards you. You’re confused for a moment before you realize he’s clutching your coat in his hand.

“You didn’t- Sorry I really took those stairs too fast.” He pauses to take a breath and you would’ve laughed if you weren’t fighting the urge to cry and maybe throw up.

“Okay, I think i’m good now. You left your coat. And your scarf. And I grabbed this hat but now that i’m actually looking at it I don’t even think this is yours.”

That manages to pull a teary laugh out of you.

“That’s Jisung’s hat.” You tell him through a few weak giggles. Of course Donghyuck would find a way to make you laugh through all of this. You wish it didn’t make you feel worse.

The sound of your laugh makes his face light up in a grin. He suddenly looks almost proud of grabbing the wrong hat.

“Well, wear it anyways. It’s cold.”

He hands you your coat first and you slip it on, followed by the scarf, and Jisung’s hat that is way too big for your head.

You look at the ground. Still not entirely sure how to say everything you’re thinking without it coming out as some sort of incomprehensible word vomit.

“Did you… Did you not like them? Because I’m sorry if i crossed a line I just thought-“

You cut him off before he can finish his sentence.

“Are you serious, Hyuck? I fucking loved them. It was so insanely thoughtful. These are probably the most meaningful gifts i’ve ever gotten and I just-“

The tears are back.

“I was such a dick to you. I was so mean to you for no real reason. And I told myself it wasn’t one sided but then you get these gloves made and how did you even know? That these gloves meant so much to me? I didn’t say it in the post.”

Donghyuck looks nervous to tell you but speaks nonetheless.

“I uh overhead you and Renjun talking a couple years ago. It was winter and you said something about the gloves and how every winter you think about them and your grandma… then you posted that picture recently and I kinda put it together. I guess i didn’t really know how meaningful they were but I assumed? You sounded so sad when you talked about it so I just… I don’t know I thought it would be a nice gift.” He’s scratching the back of his neck and shifting on his feet uncomfortably and you seriously think you’re gonna be sick now.

“I thought you hated me…”

Donghyuck’s eyes are wide when he looks up at you.

“No I never hated you. You just- well I knew you didn’t like me. And it’s embarrassing but I would get so nervous around you. i’m not usually like that. I just didn’t know how to deal with it… so i just avoided talking to you. And then at a certain point I guess you decided you really didn’t like me and honestly… it kinda hurt my pride,” He chuckles dryly before continuing, “It sounds so egotistical but it’s true. I didn’t think i did anything to make you hate me so much and it kinda pissed me off so I started being a little short when we did talk. But, seriously I never hated you. Never.”

You don’t even know what to say at this point.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry i was so mean to you when you didn’t do anything to deserve it. It was just- I don’t even know honestly. You would get so quiet around me that I just assumed you didn’t like me or something. God, Renjun was right I took everything you did so personally. Like whenever I caught you looking at me I assumed you were judging me and it hurt my pride so I just decided I didn’t like you. Once I decided that I was just unwilling to let go of it. God, I am such a fucking jerk Donghyuck. I’m so sorry. For all of it.”

Donghyuck is taking slow steps towards you now. You can’t stand to look at him so you keep your gaze locked on your shoes. But, you can hear the way the snow crunches under his (still untied) shoes as he takes steady steps to you.

Donghyuck softly pulls the gloves from your hands, you’d forgotten you’d still been holding them this entire time.

You’re a little confused at the action. Maybe he’s really just done with you at this point. He’s gonna take the gloves back and he’ll really hate you now.

You’re even more confused when he pulls you hand up and mutters a soft “hold it there” before he’s slipping the glove on your hand with gentle fingers.

He successfully secured the first glove and puts your hand back down at your side, pulling the other hand up to do the same.

This time when he’s done putting the glove on he keeps his grip on your hand, rubbing a little circle on it with his thumb.

“I’m not mad. I mean we both kinda did the same thing right? Just assumed that we hated each other and ran with it. I really like you. I have all this time and I still do. I get if you need time to get used to the fact I’m not praying on your downfall every second of the day like previously thought.” Again, Donghyuck manages to bring humor into any situation.

“But, I guess i’m asking you to go on a date with me. It doesn’t have to be tomorrow or next week or even this month but-“

You cut Donghyuck off by bringing your now gloved hands up to the sides of his face. You look into those big dumb brown eyes of his and cement yourself on what you’re about to do.

You lean in slowly. Giving him time to pull away if it’s not what he wants.

His eyes flutter closed as you get closer and you take it as permission, pressing your lips against his.

The, embarrassingly, many times you’d imagined kissing Donghyuck could never amount to what you were currently experiencing.

The moment your lips touch his he bring his ice cold fingers up to the sides of your neck, holding you into place.

You both ignore the small yelp you let out at the temperature of his hands.

His hold isn’t imposing or forceful but it’s firm, as if to say i’m here. I have you. Finally, finally, I have you.

You both pull away after a moment and you can’t help the adoring grin that spreads across your face, and grows even wider when you see Hyuck has one to match.

“Fuck yeah. Jeno said I was hopeless i’m gonna rub this in that fuckers face for years.” You can’t help but laugh at the fact that that’s his first thought after kissing you.

“Hold on. How did we end up getting paired up for Secret Santa?”

Donghyuck pulls his hands off your neck, thinking, and places them on your hips instead. You pull your hands off the sides of his face and settle them on his shoulders.

“Mark.” You both speak at the same time.

“I can’t even be mad. He really helped me out there.” Donghyuck says, wearing a shit eating grin.

“Honestly, yeah. I’ll forgive him since it worked out.”

Donghyuck is pulled you in by the belt loops of your pants as he speaks, smirk ever present, “Oh baby it more than worked out.”

Donghyuck captures your lips in his once again, and while you do thoroughly enjoy the feeling you’re beginning to realize how freezing it is.

Hyuck whines as you pull away again, chasing your lips. You give him a small peck to satiate him enough to let you speak.

“While I would love to stand here kissing you all day i’m freezing my ass off. Also, you literally don’t even have your shoes fully on your feet.”

Donghyuck seems like he just realizes this fact as he snaps his eyes down to his shoes that are, in fact, not even fully put on.

Donghyuck agrees to go inside with one more kiss. He’s then linking your hands together and taking slow steps towards the door. A little wobbly due to the state of his Converse.

“Can you not tell the guys I remembered the glove thing for years? They would never let me live it down.”

You walk back into the apartment building, laughter spilling from your mouth.

Maybe it wasn’t such a shit show after all.

little bonus scene!

-----------------------------

“Oh shit.” Mark mutters. Maybe this wasn’t his best plan after all.

The minute the door shuts Donghyuck is on his feet rushing after you. He grabs your coat and other winter gear off the hook and goes to run after you.

“Hyuck, you don’t have a coat on. or shoes.” Chenle yells after him, far too amused when their friend has just run away crying.

Donghyuck turns on his heels and rushes back to the shoe rack but in his haste his socked feet slip out from under him and he hits the floor with a loud thump.

Silence engulfs the room as Donghyuck sits there on his ass for a moment. Clearly embarrassed.

Jeno is the first to break out into a hysterical laugh and the rest follow quickly.

“If any of you mention this to y/n ever I will lose my fucking mind.”

The boys just nod at him, still doubled over laughing.

Donghyuck, with as much dignity as he can in his current situation, stands up and shoves his feet in his shoes. He then yanks his coat off the hook and forcefully slips his arms into it.

He got the wind knocked out of him when he fell but immediately runs to the door and just hopes you don’t notice how out of breath he is when he gets down there.

Mark yells something along the lines of “go get ‘em tiger” but it’s barely understandable through the laughter shaking his body still.

The only response they get from Donghyuck is a middle finger before the door is slamming and the apartment is left only with the sounds of laughter.

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed!! ill be releasing the other members over the course of December. ill post the master list for that in a moment. ill also post a prompt list so you can send requests for skz members or non dream members!! happy holidays!!

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ankiebitez · 8 days

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Comfort

tags: amon x gn! reader (as far as i know), hurt/comfort kinda, implications of the mcs parents death, implications of amons parents death

note: not beta read, drabble i wrote last night bc i could sleep, probably ooc but oh well. mc is kind of just based on my own feelings so. wrote this bc amons my babygirl, posting bc there should be more for him

you were currently staying in the avisos palace for the next few days, courtesy to bael hoping to lure beelzebub back once again. despite being used as bait, bael was at least kind enough to give you your own room to stay in, though now it wasnt exactly being used.

you dont know what exactly it was, but you couldn't get your brain to shut off so you could rest. your brain was just too full of thoughts that you usually tried to suppress, but as much as you wish they'd dissappear they never seem to. instead deciding to haunt you late at night when there's nothing you can do to push them away.

after getting tired of your restlessness you decided to take a walk through the empty halls of the palace, hoping this would do to clear your mind so you could rest.

unfortunately your thoughts only seemed to echo in time with your footsteps, bouncing off the walls of your brain until it was too much to hold together anymore.

quietly you sat down by one of the windows, cracking it slightly to let the cool air hit your face that felt like it was burning up.

truly you didnt know why you were crying now of all times, you were in hell where tons of devils loved you, but you couldn't help but still feel lonely.

a hard painful lump was in your throat while you tried your best to keep quiet with your sobs and sniffles, not wanting to wake anyone. you wouldn't know how to explain why you're crying, there wasnt really a true reason, sometimes you just need it.

despite your attempts to keep quiet, the sound of foot steps came through the hall to the room you were in.

you quickly tried to wipe your face to hide any traces but there wasnt really a need as a blonde haired demon carefully entered the room.

"oh, its you... you're crying" amon thought aloud almost curiously. he had been on night patrol through the palace, making sure no one had snuck inside or if beelzebub had returned yet.

amon came closer to you by the window, a look of concern on his face. "is something wrong? are you hurt?" he asked, looking over you for any signs of physical harm.

you shook your head a bit embarrassed, though there was no hint of judgment in his eyes. "no im okay i was just having a hard time sleeping and all i guess... i dont even know why im crying its just... stuff from when i was younger and i just..." you trailed off, the painful lump in your throat and watery eyes returning.

you didn't need to finish your sentence though, amon had been told about your past already and he can understand without words how pain from years ago can still hurt just as deeply, how you can feel just as lonely.

"oh... I can keep you company if youd like" amon offered, sitting beside you and offering to hold you.

with a hesitant nod, you let amon pull you close to his chest, placing you on his lap and holding you tightly in his arms, feeling the tears continue to well up in your tired eyes despite the feeling of comfort he gave.

amon didnt let go or push you away, only holding you tighter and letting you cry into his chest as you needed.

he silently understood the way you felt, understanding the need to release pressure on these old feelings sometimes, and even though he cant make the lonely feeling dissappear, he promises to keep you company through them.

#what in hell is bad #whb #what in “hell” is bad?#prettybusy what in “hell” is bad?#whb amon #whb x reader #whb x mc #what in hell is bad amon #amon x reader #amon whb #whb mc

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vounoura · 6 months

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ok as promised. I had one of these years ago but it was unfortunately lost in a blog purge, but it's actually really important information ESO goes out of its way to hide at every turn, so dear new players:

despite what the game tells you, you should NOT start with any DLC zone, or at least not any DLC zone that was released before Murkmire. As far as I'm aware (and feel free to correct me if I'm wrong), every story DLC after that is fairly self-contained to its own series of chapters, but everything before that was part of a linear plot that spanned multiple years.

Furthermore, ESOs design has for some backwards reason made it so that you are not required to play through base game MSQ first and also skips the initial Coldharbour sequence, both of which are literally the entire setup for the game's plot and why your character is the way they are. This makes things incredibly confusing and everyone I know hates it with a passion.

Therefore, to clear things up a bit:

In all circumstances, you need to do the base game intro, which can be started from the Hooded Figure found in your alliance's starting city (Vukhel Guard -> AD, Daggerfall -> DC, Davon's Watch -> EP). This will have you go through the original tutorial meant for the base game, and will set up the main plot and explain why your character is the way that they are.

iirc, this should immediately plant you in your alliance's initial starting zone, which is where you'll find the start of your alliance's MSQ which will take you through 5 zones. You need to do one from start to finish to start the end Coldharbour sequence. In addition, you need to also do the Harborage quests which is also necessary to enter Coldharbour.

Coldharbour is the end zone for MSQ content, and is the base game's conclusion. You also need to do this entire zone from start to finish, trust me it's good.

It's not necessary but recommended that you play through the Ebonheart Pact MSQ, either as your first or through Cadwell's Silver / Gold (which basically allow you to play through the other Alliance's MSQs as if you started them). You do not need to, but there is a character introduced in EP who will become critically important later and she will recognize if you've met before, and knowing her beforehand helps. If you're wondering, that character is Naryu Virian.

iirc Imperial City is canonically right after Coldharbour, but as it's a DLC centred in Cyrodiil (a strict PvP zone) I never actually did it. If you're okay with missing some things you can skip it - I did, and was perfectly fine.

Orsinium needs to be done first after Coldharbour or Imperial City. It's plot directly sets up the Daedric War storyline, which is the main plot that runs for a while after base game MSQ. Do not play anything else until you've finished Orsinium.

Thieves Guild is for the most part inconsequential and can be played any time or skipped if you want. You cannot skip Dark Brotherhood - you need to play through enough of it to see the Sweet Roll Killer series of quests involving Naryu Virian and Razum-Dar, because this will directly foreshadow the plot going forward.

Morrowind comes after DBH. You need to do BOTH the MSQ AND the Balmora sidequests, which involve Naryu Virian and a character named Veya Releth. Balmora is CRITICALLY important for Summerset, you CANNOT skip it.

Clockwork City follows Morrowind, you need to do its MSQ. CwC sets up Summerset's plot, and leads directly into it.

Summerset is the Daedric War plot's conclusion, and you need to do its MSQ. If you have not done everything I have just told you IN THIS ORDER, you will be missing context. You will not know who the main villain is and why them being there is critically tragic. You will not know the threads that lead to this point. You will not know Summerset was the conclusion to literal years worth of storyline.

You need to play through everything in this order. Do not deviate. Every DLC after this (Murkmire to, as of the time of writing, Necrom) is as far as I'm aware it's own self-contained thing, but this isn't.

TOO LONG, DIDN'T READ: base game tutorial -> alliance MSQ/Harborage -> Coldharbour -> Imperial City if you want -> Orsinium -> Dark Brotherhood + The Sweet Roll Killer sidequests -> Morrowind + Balmora sidequests -> Clockwork City -> Summerset

DO NOT DEVIATE FROM THIS ORDER FOR ANY REASON!

#saint.txt #THE RETURN OF THE KING or whatever #anyways I hope this helps people I don't know why the game is designed this way either

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atlasmarzz · 11 months

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ugh why do i do this, its literally 2:50 am when im starting this and 3:26 am when i finish.

NSFW WARNING - read at your own risk :) thigh riding, degration, edging, orgasm denial, leon is a meanie, mirror sex?

your fiancé had a government work part to attend, of course bringing you as his plus one. leon never really got you involved with his work, it was far too dangerous. but a classy party and drinks with the industry wouldnt hurt at all.

at the moment, you were standing infront of the full length mirror in your bedroom while leon sat on the edge of your bed. you worked on clipping in some earings that matched the necklace that leoj had bougjt you a while ago. you could see him behind you, leaning over, his slicked back hair, white dress shirt, and black dress pants making him even more attractive. you were wearing a long but not tight fitted dress that contained a slit riding all the way up to mid thigh. the top with thin straps and lowcut band. you chose complimentary heels that worked with everything.

you heard a low wistle come from behind you, knowing it was leon checking you out without even having to see his eyes. you ignored it as you finished with the jewlery portion of the night. i double checked my hair and makeup before turning around to face leon.

"are you ready, lee?" of course you had to use the nickname that made him crazy after riling him up with your attire.

"actually.. no, no im not, c'mere" he said, tapping his thigh with his index finger and leaning back to look at you.

"leon, we cant, we have places to be" you tried to explain to him, looking back at the clock hanging in the wall.

"we have 30 minutes, darling, just enough time for something small, hm?" he pleads, grabbing my arm and pulling my down for a kiss

of course i kissed back, but i pulled away quickly, "babe- my makeup" i warned him, looking down at him with stern eyes. he grabbed my hips and yanked me down onto one thigh. i yelped out, grabbing onto his shoulders for stablitiy, "seriously leon-" i warned again but he didnt care. my dress rode up my thigh and dropped the remainder to the floor.

he grippied my hips harder, moving my slightly back and forth. i could feel the wetness starting to pool in my thinly laced panties that he was meant to see later. he clearly had visions of his own as i whimpered, the friction of his pants on my clothed cunt made my head fuzzy.

"what were you saying? how much youre a slut for my fucking thigh? look at you, broken down just for my thigh" he spat with a smile, holding my face with one hand to look up at him.

i contiued to move without his help, my clit throbbing from the harsh contact. i leaned my head back and opened my mouth, silently pleading for more. his hand slid off my face and up my dress, moving my panties aside to have my arousal bare and dripping on his nice pants. when i noticed, i stopped.

"leon- your pants" i whimpered, looking into his eyes with concern.

"dont worry, keep fucking going. tell me how much you love this, making such a mess of yourself and ive barely touched you." i muttered lowly in my ear, gripping my hips again to move me, "god you look so dirty in the mirror right now." he spat again, watching my hips drag against him.

"mph- please leon please im so close-" i whined, picking up my speed and feeling my release creep up.

"you can hold it. be good and hokd it for me. dont want to ruin yourself right before a party, right?" he cooed, rubbing small circles in my hips.

i cried out, tears brimming in my eyes as i tried so hard to keep my band from snapping. my movements stuttered as i tried to regain my composure. i continued for a moment before stopping again.

"did i say you could stop?" leon asked, his voice husky and sharp in my ear, gripping my sides and moving me again.

"no! please leon it hurts! please let me come ill be good!" i begged, crying into his neck as i fought against his movements.

"youll be good? well when you say it like that.." he trailed, lifting me off of his thigh. my face furrowed with confusion, "turn around, watch yourself ruin yourself on my thigh." he demanded, turning my hips.

when i settled myself again, my back flush against his chest as i stared at us in the mirror. my lipstick was smudged and mascara ran down my face, a slight glisten in the light could be seen on his pants.

"c'mon, keep going" he offered innocently, i continued moving my hips, the coil coming back faster this time as i moaned out leons name, "is bunny close?" he asked, leaning in to kiss my shoulder, trailing up to leave soft kisses on my neck and behind my ear.

i nod furiously, practically bouncing on his knee, "stop." he said, it startled me, but i stopped, being ripped away from heaven for the second time, "we can continue after the party. we'll be late" he lifted me off and readjusted my panties.

i whined out, my legs like jello as i desperately tried fixing my hair and makeup. by the time we were actually ready, the wet spot dried, leaving it darker than the rest of the pants.

#leon kennedy x reader #leon kennedy smut #someone help #leon kennedy #resident evil #daddy issues

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professorspork · 3 months

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I hope this doesn’t come across as like a pushy “update pls” I promise that’s not how I mean it. I’m curious at what point you feel like a multi-chapter fic is ready to post? Do you write it in its entirety and then edit chapters in between updates, write and edit it in its entirety, write most of it and continue writing the rest between updates? I’m very curious about your process since you’ve been writing some monster word count fics

I really appreciate you asking!

The short version is that I've learned over time that what works best for me is completing a work in its entirety before I start posting; above all I like posting on a reliable schedule for my audience, and I simply do not write quickly enough (or coherently enough) to do that any other way. There are a lot of reasons for that and I WILL ELABORATE ON THEM AT LENGTH:

I have several multi-chapter WIPs from the Glee days-- when I was in college-- that I never finished because I'm a delicate hothouse flower when it comes to maintaining hyperfocus, and I found a new fandom to be in before I could complete them. Back then especially, I was much less disciplined about writing sequentially: I would write parts of the story wildly out of order, focusing on whatever interested me most at the time. That means my hard drive is a graveyard of unpublished content, which sucks-- not only did I never give my audience the resolutions they were looking for, but I never got to receive feedback on parts of the story I was really proud of. I found that really dispiriting.

Going to grad school for screenwriting really helped me focus on telling a story in order, because there is literally no other way to write a screenplay than one scene at a time; it's far too reliant on momentum and consistency to jump ahead to "the good bits" and come back. I also did several projects-- writing my multi-chap Frozen&Tangled polyamory epic for a friend's birthday; pre-writing all my 2015 Cartinelli Week one shots far in advance so I knew they'd be perfect come posting day-- where I had a deadline I wanted everything Done By, which got me in the habit of writing to completion before posting. It wasn't something I thought I was going to be capable of because I'm like Tinkerbell, Finn, I need applause to live feedback is incredibly motivating to me, but having the ability to go back and change things in chapter 2 if I realized they weren't adequately setting up what I wanted to do in chapter 5, or whatever, proved to be just as powerful a motivator in a different way-- it meant I could tell the stories RIGHT, if I took my time with them. I also learned to get at least one cheerleader I could leak snippets to as I went, so that I still got the dopamine hit of the feedback even though I'm ages away from posting for real.

I also found that, as a reader, I always really appreciated when authors could stick to an update schedule so I could look forward to new chapters like I would episodes of television. It's not a standard I expect from anyone, but it is something that makes me really happy-- and the two ways to do it are to either write fast enough that you're just constantly churning out new content (not an option for me, especially on the occasions when I'm actually employed and can only write on weekends) or to pre-write and then slow release. it gives me a feeling of... mastery, I guess? Like "hey everyone here's a gift I'm giving you," as opposed to writing and updating when I can, which makes me feel like I'm always chasing something (BEING chased by something?) and risking losing my audience/my own fickle concentration if I were to wait too long.

My "ONLY post after everything is done" rule is a new one, because I burned myself on rely on certain certainties, the last D/s epic I wrote (lmao can you tell this topic interests me). I worked on that for a year and was 132k in with no end in sight when I started posting, but I was part of a Kristanna discord at the time, and I wanted to seize the audience I had before it disappeared-- which is always the danger of movie fandoms, which never have as much staying power. I had hoped that because I had such a big buffer I could keep writing ahead of the updates as they came up from behind, but I tapped out at 172k when I finished the end of an arc. That kills me, because I have SO MUCH unreleased content for that story which will never see the light of day, because-- again-- I'd let temptation win and wrote ahead to The Juicy Bits instead of forcing myself to go in order.

So, two things I've learned:

Only ever outlining the juicy bits that come late in the game, instead of lovingly finessing their every word, is a great way to trick motivate myself into continuing to write in order so that I can GET to the juicy bits, full stop; if I don't exorcise them they keep haunting me and that helps me stick it out until the end

By holding stories back until they're complete, I give myself the ability to complete them because I'm able to dig myself out of holes I've written myself into. In the old days, if I got stuck because I realized the real root of my issue had come chapters earlier and that's why it's not working now, I'd just... be stuck at that wall, unable to move forward, and that would be that. The idea of going back and editing a published story for narrative content is mortifying to me and something I personally could never do, so-- this way I'm giving myself more tools and options, so that I can tell the story I want to tell and tell it right.

In terms of my actual process, I tend to work like this: my most productive time is when my ADHD meds are at full power, so in an ideal world I am writing new content from like 10am to 3pm or so, getting as far as I can in New Content. Evenings, when I'm no longer in Hyperfocus Productivity Mode, I'll go back and reread things-- sometimes chapters from much earlier-- both to entertain myself and to make edits and changes. Often, that's just moving words around here and there for cadence and flow; rarely, it's adding whole new moments or thoughts to the chapters. I try to write In Order as much as possible, getting chapters beta'd as they're completed. I'm a nitpicky perfectionist, so keeping a hold on my early chapters until everything is posted means I can change them over and over and over again without anyone knowing but me, which I love-- and those changes are getting made right down to the wire. even when the fic is "complete" and I'm "only posting" I'm still making edits; some of people's absolute favorite parts of Newsbees were added literally the night before, when it was the "get everything into AO3 and do the final pass for typos and formatting" stage. Like, Penny writing sudokus on the fly for Ruby at the hospital? Ruby thinking in Adam Font? Those were 11th hour strokes of genius.

So yeah-- that's a very long-winded way of saying that I've found writing to completion first not only makes me more likely to actually finish my WIPs, but it makes my WIPs BETTER because it gives me far, far more time with them. I know it's not something that works for everyone, but in terms of my own sense of like, duty and responsibility and goal-setting, it keeps me on track without risking Guilt completely paralyzing me-- which is what happens when I post as I go and then get interrupted.

THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY RAMBLE.

#on writing

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sylvan-librarian · 8 months

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Nissa's Pilgrimage Part I: Worldwaker

Preface:

Hi there! My name is Steven; I recently wrapped up a master’s degree in library science and am doing my best to segue careers. Since my terminally long job hunt has left me with more down time than I ever wanted to have, I decided to put my English degree to good(?🤷) use by writing a bunch of personal essays on Magic the Gathering, as it is a topic I have been obsessed with for around a decade now. I didn’t intend to share these ramblings at first, and I began this whole project for my own edification, to keep my brain active, and to prevent myself going insane from boredom. However, I thought it couldn’t hurt to throw these online and see what comes of it.

This particular piece is part 1 of ???. I have a lot of notes in my drafts and even more thoughts in my head, so it may just go on indefinitely until someone (finally) gives me a dang job.

TLDR: I’m a deranged MTG Vorthos and former English major with a lot of thoughts and even more time on my hands, so I began a handful of English major-y essays on my pet topics. I’m posting them here for now.

Introduction:

Almost every Magic player who began learning the game after the planeswalker card type was introduced in the Lorwyn expansion in October, 2007 can tell you a story about the first planeswalker card they fell in love with. It might have been because the mechanics on the card melded perfectly with their preferred strategy of play, it might have been because they kept up with the story and were invested in the represented character’s journey, or it might have simply been because they thought the art looked cool.

For whatever reason under Mirrodin’s five suns a Magic player first became attached to a planeswalker and their cards, the character often become symbolic for our love of the game itself. These symbols grow beyond simple loyalty abilities on a piece of cardboard and become inexorably intertwined with our own personal Magic experience.

For me, this planeswalker was Nissa Revane.

You see, in March of 2014, I started working at The Game Closet in Waco, Texas. I had just finished getting a master’s degree in English, so of course, my first job out in the real world was to become a clerk at my local game store (really putting my humanities education to work). Having grown up in a small Louisiana town, I never had a chance to play Magic. I entered the tabletop gaming world through my obsession with Dungeons & Dragons, Shadowrun, and sundry other RPG’s.

Nevertheless, as Magic players made up the majority of the store’s customer base, I took it upon myself to learn the game. The Theros block was wrapping up at the time with its third set, Journey into Nyx, and a bunch of friendly players were more than happy to unload all of their bulk commons and uncommons to me (Journey into Nyx was famously underpowered, after all), so I tried to make a standard deck out of all this draft chaff and run it at Friday Night Magic.

It didn’t go too well.

However, I was happy with the overall direction of the deck, and I immediately discovered that I loved green decks, specifically green ramp strategies.

I was enthralled with the idea of accelerating mana so that you can play flashy, intimidating creatures and cool, game warping spells far earlier than you have any right to, so I continued to tweak the deck until I made a functioning version of the Theros Standard Mono Green Devotion deck. Even though I wasn’t good enough at the game in my early days to consistently win (even at the local level), I had a lot of fun with it! It was fast and explosive, but for some reason, I couldn’t shake the feeling that it was missing something.

However, not a few months later, the Magic 2015 Core Set gets released, and the chase mythic rare in the set’s early days was exactly the kind of card I was looking for: Nissa, Worldwaker. I had no idea who this Nissa character was supposed to be — though I did think the art looked pretty cool — but I was in awe of the card’s abilities! It was precisely the kind of fuel I felt my standard deck needed at the time, and it turns out I was right! My Magic the Gathering “competitive” “career” begins and ends with a handful of first place rankings at my local game store’s standard FNM events, but as small a victory as those are, nearly all of these top rankings were due to Nissa, Worldwaker.

Needless to say, I became devoted to the character overnight.

Exploration:

But who is Nissa, really? Let’s start with the basics. Nissa is an elf planeswalker from the plane of Zendikar, a largely untamed wilderness where the land itself has a will of its own, causing unforeseeable (un)natural disasters called “the roil” by Zendikari locals. According to the recently-released Magic The Gathering: The Visual Guide by Jay Annelli, Nissa is in her 60s and she is 5 feet, 2 inches tall, making her the smallest of the original four members of the Gatewatch (five if you count Liliana). Nissa has a mystical connection to the land and can sense a plane’s leylines, giving her a measure of control over the ground she walks on; this allows her to animate the very land itself to fight her enemies, a narrative element that has been expressed mechanically time and time again on Nissa’s cards throughout the years.

Ostracized from the elven clan she was born in, the Joraga, for the crime of having this connection to the land (a rare brand of sorcery called “animism” in the lore of Magic), Nissa spent large stretches of years alone with only the spirits of the natural world as companions. This has made her socially awkward to a fault, and the issues she has in communicating with her friends (and later, lovers) has been a fairly consistent plot point throughout all of the (canon) story arcs she has played a part in.

In a fictional universe that contains ageless elder dragons, a man-eating toad, a sentient robot who literally created a planet from scratch, and a wizard who once phased an entire continent out of the time stream, Nissa Revane’s eternal struggle to express simple feelings to people she shares a bond with always seemed to me the most human element in the Magic canon. Additionally (big surprise), that’s something I have in common with her. While other Vorthoses have made the argument that Nissa is on the autism spectrum, that is something I have neither the personal experience with nor the education of to speak about. That is certainly a valid lens to view this character through, however, so if that interests you, I’d encourage you to search up these pieces on your own.

What I can speak on with a certain level of expertise, however, is the personal struggle of being a shy, withdrawn introvert in an extroverted world. As a lifelong wallflower with a vivid imagination and a rich inner world, I can deeply relate to a character who doesn’t know how to put her intense feelings to words. For example, in the final story of the Kaladesh arc, Renewal, Nissa tries to express to her companion Chandra just how deeply she wants to be “friends” with her:

Nissa swallowed past the desert in her throat. "I don't speak often. I lived alone for...decades. Zendikar was my companion. We understood each other at a level deeper than words. I...I don't know how to talk to you. I'm trying to learn." Chandra looked up, eyes wide and startled. "You don't know how to talk to me?" "I will make mistakes," Nissa said. "Pick the wrong words. Misunderstand yours. I'll act strange and won't know that I am. But if you can be patient with me, I would like to be..." Waves of sky-song memory welled upward, symphonies of color and warmth, resonant movement and shared breath. She stilled them, reduced them, and forced out angular words shaped in a pallid shadow of acceptable truth. "...your friend." Chandra's hands leapt out to enfold hers, warm as a bird's nest. "I dunno," she sniffled, one corner of her mouth quivering upward. "I think you're pretty good at picking words." "It took all afternoon to decide how to say this."

While this section of Renewal is a cornerstone of Nissa’s and Chandra’s future romantic relationship, that is a topic big enough to warrant its own essay in order to do it justice. For now, though, let’s focus on this bit: “‘I would like to be…’ Waves of sky-song memory welled upward, symphonies of color and warmth, resonant movement and shared breath. She stilled them, reduced them, and forced out angular words shaped in a pallid shadow of acceptable truth. ‘...your friend.’” Nissa’s never ending struggle to use words grand enough to communicate the intensity of the feelings in her heart has stuck with me since Renewal was posted on Magic’s website in 2017. I doubt I’m the only one, either.

Heroic Intervention

Nissa was already the character I was most invested in back in 2017, but observing her deep well of emotions she didn’t know to express and her entire lifetime's worth of interests and experiences she didn’t know how to talk about helped me, I think, come to terms the previous two-and-a-half decades of my own life that I spent cowering in corners at parties, being as unobtrusive as possible in the lives of my friends and family, and holding myself back because I didn’t think anyone would ever want me around - as a friend, as a lover, or even as a coworker. This section, from later on in Renewal, really gutted me at the time:

What would she do, if she had the time again? If she didn't flinch at light, noise, and touch, or speak in gestures and movements strange and off-putting to others? How could she tell this new life to laugh and weep without reservation or regret; to sing to the stars and waters, or to nothing at all; to love unreserved and unguarded; to treasure every moment with those beloved; to forgive any regretted trespass; to dance when moved to; to savor long silences in warm company; to greet each dawn, each face with the thought, this will be an adventure; to be brave, and kind, and trusting, and... ...like Chandra. The aetherborn waited, flickering. But why would anyone find her thoughts on the matter of value, anyway? Don't be afraid to follow your heart, Nissa told them. ...Why would that be scary? Halfway across Ghirapur, her body exhaled a laugh into the deepening twilight. May it ever puzzle you.

It wasn’t too long after this story was published that I began my own journey from hiding in the shadows to living my life in a way I was proud of. I moved away with the woman I was dating at the time, and even though that relationship ended up not working out, I spent five long, fun, life-altering years learning to

laugh and weep without reservation or regret; to sing to the stars and waters, or to nothing at all; to love unreserved and unguarded; to treasure every moment with those beloved; to forgive any regretted trespass; to dance when moved to; to savor long silences in warm company; to greet each dawn, each face with the thought, this will be an adventure.

I wonder to this day if the courage Nissa displayed during her own pilgrimage helped nurture in me the courage I needed in my own…

Conclusion

If you made this far, thanks! I’m not sure who, if any, will be interested in these endless ramblings, but if you're here, I hope you found something in it to enjoy!

Further entries in this little series will cover who Nissa is as a character, how she has been treated by various writers in Magic's various seasons, and why that matters (to me at least). The next longform piece I post will go over Nissa’s dual origins, why she was retconned from an incompetent xenophobe into the cinnamon roll with baggage we know today, and what both the Magic Story Team and its fans have made of this shift over the years.

References

Annelli, J. Magic The Gathering The Visual Guide. DK Publishing

Li, M., Digges, K., Luhrs, A., Beyer D., & L'Etoile, C. (2017). Renewal

#magic the gathering #nissa revane #vorthos #magic story #mtg story #essay #chandra nalaar

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tiny-breadcrumbs · 6 months

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Unpopular opinion but I'm on my third attempt to watch love and redemption and I still didn't have enough patience to get through more than ep 3 :(

This is actually the main reason why I only go into mysterious lotus casebook around last month. No hate to cheng yi, I enjoy his visual like any other but its the matter of among his past drama, I can never finish one. Love and redemption, I repeatedly push it back, something in that drama trigger my patience. Maybe its the overly naive borderline dumb female lead, maybe its the slow pace, maybe its the colour, I'm not sure! All the same with immortal samsara, except for that one, I probably will never going back to try again. I've seen mysterious lotus casebook's poster since the very first time it released and immediately put it on the middle tier of my watchlist (one that I probably watch if I'm bored enough with my life). Still, the drama just kept popping up into my recomendation but not until my friend say it's "quite good" I finally start to watch. She is a big cheng yi fans tho, so I'm not fully convinced at first, a total big zero expectation. With all her screaming about I will come out of that being a cheng yi fans and will finally have enough mental power to push through love of redemption, I actually watch it with "at least it have zeng shunxi.." mentality.

Well, big surprise, guess who got distracted with di feisheng (and his pretty eyelashes) since the first five minute? Me. It got worse from eps 5 and above. God knows how that man catch my eyes everytime he is on screen. And through him, I actually stay to enjoy the rest of the character. Hell, I even watch through the cringe survival show because apparently I need more xiao shunyao content after that.

So far, I can say li lianhua was the only cheng yi role that I can watch without the urge to write three pages rant. And I'm still not sure about love and redemption. Does it really good? At what point it got exciting? I kept seeing people say its really good, like the best xianxia of the year level of good. Maybe I want to believe that everytime I come back to give it a new try. But I found myself returning it back to the shelf each try too.

#at this point I can only hope for heroes legend #I need that one to be at least bearable if not good #cheng yi collection of drama #mysterious lotus casebook #love and redemption #cheng yi #ramblings

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jd-loves-fiction · 1 year

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Teasing war

➢ kisses where they push you against the cold wall, their hands tracing your curves as they nibble on your lower lip, hands teasing every edge as you moan into the kiss + gently tugging at their collar, out of breath, they ask, "do you want me to stop?" you hurriedly say, "just the opposite, please" (DEWDROP)

➢ 𝖕𝖆𝖎𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖌: Dewdrop x GN!Reader

➢ 𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖗𝖊: fluff (borderline smut, nothing happens but it’s pretty steamy)

➢ 𝖜𝖈: 721

➢ 𝖆/𝖓: I was unconscious writing most of this, by that i mean i was on autopilot so no clue if its good or not, let me know :)

Teasing Dewdrop is undoubtedly a stupid thing to do, despite how amusing it may be.

Sure, seeing Dew so silently frustrated and red in the face that steam might start coming out of his ears soon, is certainly entertaining. But it is not without its consequences. As messing with a fire ghoul usually is.

Walking the abbey halls unhurriedly, you are none the wiser to all the schemes currently being cooked up by Dew as he watches you from the shadows. But as you pass right by his hiding spot he realizes something - that he’s never been one for patience or plans.

So he leaps out of the shadows, one clawed hand around your rapidly contracting throat and the other behind your head to protect you from the wall he slams you into.

“Think you can get away with teasing me like that? You should learn to finish what you start, sweetheart.” His grip tightens for a second to drive his point home as you gasp, still blinking away the shock that clouds your vision.

“Fuck, leaving me after all that… That was real fucking cruel. Aren’t you going to take accountability?” Someone less knowledgeable on Dew's particular temperament would think he's seriously upset. But you know better, that wavering in his voice is fake, meant to get you to want your punishment.

The biggest giveaway would be the fact that he's done it countless times due to the fact that he's constantly looking for reasons to punish you. It's just that this time you decided to give him an actual reason to do it.

"I don't know what you mean." You’re really pushing it, you know you are, but he’s so cute when he’s frustrated, so surprised that you aren’t immediately going along with what he says. Until a smirk covers his lips, that is.

“Oh, really?” His smirk becomes somehow sharper, pleased that you did exactly as he’d hoped, “You don’t know anything about how you’ve been bending down in front of me all day, even when you didn’t drop anything? Or how you keep kissing my neck in that special spot in public? Or even all the naughty things you’ve been whispering in my ear? None of that ring a bell?” His sharp claws dig into the skin of your neck just enough to mark but not enough to bleed.

“Maybe some of it…” Your attempt at further teasing ends in a gasp as Dew shoves a leg between yours.

“If your plan is to act as if your own teasing didn’t affect you at all, then I’m afraid it was for nothing because it’s very clear that it does.” Dewdrop laughs in delight at your hot cheeks, trembling legs, stuttering breaths, twitching fingers and large pupils. The evidence of your own excitement abundantly clear to the fire ghoul, whose body temperature just keeps rising to a near concerning level - which certainly doesn’t help with your own rising body temperature.

“I suppose it’d only be fair for me to tease you back. Don’t you think, sweets?” A clawed finger of his other hand trails down your neck and as far as your collar allows, leaving goosebumps to rise in its wake.

You keep your lips sealed, neither willing to give in nor able to come up with a clever retort. Such an answer doesn’t please Dew, he frowns, snarling to intimidate before his smirk returns in earnest. An idea forms within his devious mind, you can tell just by looking.

Without warning he smashes his lips against yours, hands finally releasing your neck to trail over your body, every dip and every curve, while his sharp teeth bite at your lower lip, lightly but still it bleeds. He drinks up the red droplets as you gasp and moan, hands clutching at his frilly collar to pull him closer, "Do you want me to stop?”

You shake your head vigorously, not able to part from his heated kisses long enough to speak, but he pulls away anyway, waiting far more patiently than you thought possible for him, for your answer, "Just the opposite, please."

For a moment you think he might give in to your request, to finally reach the culmination of all this teasing and mischievous, but alas, that’d be no fun at all.

“Well, that’s too bad.”

#dewdrop #dewdrop ghost #dewdrop x reader #ghost band #the band ghost #ghost bc #ghost band x reader #ghost band fanfic #ghost band fic #sodo #sodo ghoul #sodo x reader #sodomizer ghoul #nameless ghouls #nameless ghouls x reader #nameless ghoul dewdrop #nameless ghoul sodo

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the-fangirl-from-hell · 7 months

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The Real Reason Xavier Can't Tell You The Truth

this is part 3 in a series. here is part 1, here is part 2

pairing: Xavier Thorpe x reader summary: in which Xavier is haunted by guilt for keeping secrets from you warnings: mentions of blood, injury, kinda cheating but not really, cussing, religious guilt?, they're horny but there's no smut yet tags: even more pining, we shouldn't do this, forbidden desires, mild angst, hurt-comfort, reader patches Xavier up once again, fluff, reassurance word count: 4k

Xavier never got to know whether (Y/N) would kiss him or not because their tender moment was interrupted by a loud growl. It sounded like something between a bear and a lion. Ferocious. Angry.

“I think we should run,” the girl whispered.

“Follow me, my shed shouldn’t be far off.”

Xavier grabbed her hand tightly and started running off with her towards the parts of the woods that pertained to Nevermore. They could hear screeching and leaves rustling under the beast’s feet as it followed them, but neither could bring themselves to look back and see what kind of monster would make this kind of sounds.

Neither of them could feel their own legs after a while. They were panting and whining in pain as they stepped on sharp rocks and small dried branches that snapped under their weight. A blood-curdling scream pierced through the night as Xavier fell on the ground and the beast snatched him by the leg with its long claws. In an act of desperation, the girl grabbed a rock she found on the ground and smashed the monster’s hand with it, forcing it to release the boy. It took one look at the girl’s terrified expression before it ran off into the woods.

She rushed to her knees to check Xavier’s leg. His pants were shredded and covered in blood from his thigh to his knee.

“Can you walk? How far is your shed?”

But Xavier didn’t answer; he just let out a pain-ridden sob as he was clutching the wounded area. The girl took one more look at his thigh and the blood pouring out of the gash. His face was getting paler by the second. She took one deep calming breath before making an important decision.

“I need you to trust me right now,” she received a weak nod. “Show me the cut.”

Xavier complied and raised his blood stained hands in the air, giving the girl free access to his wound. She put her own hands on top of the cut and pressed. The boy hissed as he prepared for the pain that never came. As soon as her hands were on his body the only thing Xavier could feel was the nice warmth he already came to associate with (Y/N). It was almost blissful. The bleeding stopped soon after.

“How did you do that?”

“I’ll explain later, we should get somewhere safer before that thing comes to finish the job.”

She yanked Xavier by the arm and got him on his feet. To his surprise, he felt good enough to walk already. But the girl insisted on holding his hand tightly all the way.

“It’s just that my powers only work when I’m making physical contact. I need to make sure the bleeding doesn’t return,” she explained on their way.

Xavier didn’t need explaining. If she wanted to hold his hand she could, anytime. Maybe because the whole monster thing scared her and she needed comfort. Or because it was dark and she wanted to make sure she didn’t lose him in the woods. Or because her hand was cold. Or simply because she felt the fraction of the butterflies he did when their hands were touching.

They finally got to the shed after about fifteen more minutes of walking, although Xavier was pretty sure they were safe anyway. The monster seemed to disappear and the forest was quiet. Their walk would’ve been quite romantic if they hadn’t been running from a monster less than half an hour ago. Or if she didn’t already have a boyfriend. Xavier needed to remind himself of that. She had someone else. She didn’t want him. No matter how hard his heart was hammering in his chest every time she was close by.

He opened the door for her and let her in first, then closed it after himself and propped a chair against the handle just to be on the safe side. No one could get in now. Xavier turned around to see (Y/N) drag the mattress he sometimes slept on in the middle of the room and grab some clean pieces of cloth he used for painting.

She was acting as if she’d been there a million times already. Xavier liked that thought.

“Sit down, let me clean you up.”

“You’ve done more than enough for me already, it’s fine.”

“Just let me help, okay?” she sounded more exasperated than she intended.

He realized that patching him up was her way of showing affection. He couldn’t complain. He plopped down on the mattress and let the girl take care of him. Her gentle nimble hands were caressing his leg, alternating between the cool feeling of the cloth cleaning him, and the warmth of her hands healing him. He didn’t mean to let out a moan but as he tried to relax and close his eyes for a second, it just happened.

Fuck.

Xavier could feel his face flush red and hot as embarrassment settled in his stomach.

“Did it hurt?” the girls asked innocently.

She had no idea of the effect she had on him, beyond her healing abilities. She had no idea of the many wet dreams he had that started just like this. The two of them together in the shed, at night, no one around, her standing on top of him, hands caressing his body. He half expected to wake up in his dorm, aroused and disappointed. But this was real.

Xavier had to bite his lip to stop a second moan before it escaped his mouth. He realised he couldn’t speak so he resigned to shaking his head no.

“Tell me if it hurts.”

She couldn’t hurt him. Every touch of her felt like heaven, every inch of his body in contact with her felt blessed.

“Oh.” The realisation hit Xavier like a truck. “That’s how I healed so quick last time after Tyler beat me. You used your powers then too.”

The girl nodded without taking her eyes off the area she was healing. Xavier felt grateful. If she peered up at him through her lashes in that moment he’d probably melt into the mattress. Right then and there.

“So that’s why your touch feels like that. No wonder Tyler can’t get his hands off you.”

Xavier was just thinking out loud at the moment, trying to get the realisation out so it felt more real. The normie girl he’s been in love with wasn’t even a normie. She was like him, an outcast. And that’s why every touch of her was electric, because a healer’s touch is almost like a drug.

“I’ve never used my powers on Tyler,” the girl finally said. “He doesn’t even know I have them and at this point, I can’t tell him. It’s too late.”

It made sense. When the psychic link was active Xavier could feel everything Tyler was feeling. The girl’s hands pulling his hair, her teeth biting his lip, her lips going down his abdomen (Xavier forced himself to stop there) and the spark was never there. When he was Tyler he felt hot like you do on a sunny summer day, not warm like when you drink hot cocoa next to a fireplace. Not like what Xavier felt when (Y/N) put her hands on him.

“But you used your powers for me. Thank you.”

“Don’t worry about it, I like feeling helpful. And you needed my help,” the girl let out a little laugh that reminded Xavier of wind chimes.

She seemed so content doting on him like it was the thing she enjoyed doing most. Xavier was almost sad that his wound was healing so fast and she was going to stop.

“I don’t get it. Why keep it a secret?”

“Mom insists,” the girl made a face as if she bit on something bitter. “There’s people out there who would do unforgivable things to get access to a healer. I heard many horror stories; it happened to my grandma.”

She swallowed thickly and stopped, almost as if the words were stuck in her throat. Xavier put a hand on her shoulder, trying to assure her that she didn’t have to go on if she didn’t want to. He understood what it was like to be different, to be hunted.

He decided to say something that would get her mind off things.

“Ok, but there’s one thing that still doesn’t add up. You always feel like that, not just when you’re healing me.”

“About that,” the girl awkwardly chewed on her lower lip. “It seems I can’t really control my powers around you. I can’t stop myself, every time I touch you my powers turn up to eleven. It’s like… like–” she stopped, unable to finish.

She didn’t need to because he knew exactly what she meant. Like there was something inside him so broken that was begging to be fixed. That’s why she was his peace. It’s why every time he was with her he felt like everything was right in the world. Because she was healing him.

The girl sat up as the cut on Xavier’s leg closed up, it looked like a small scratch made by a kitten. She put a gentle hand on the side of the boy’s face and he leaned into it, letting out a worried sigh.

“I can tell your seer abilities weigh on you. It’s like a darkness plaguing your mind. Is that why you couldn’t sleep?”

Xavier tried to swallow the knot that formed in his throat. He knew he should come clean and tell her everything. She had the right to know about his weird little voyeuristic visions of her. But he just couldn’t; the thought of her hating him or being freaked out scared him too much.

He barely managed to give the girl a nod.

“Because of that monster.”

(Y/N) eyes were fixated on the wall behind Xavier. More precisely, on the drawings he made and put up those walls. The boy was so preoccupied with getting to safety that he hadn’t realised until this point: they are in his shed. They are in. His. Shed. The one that was full of drawings he made over the past year, most of them from his visions and dreams. Many of them of her.

Right now her gaze seemed to be fixed on the drawings he’s been making of the monster.

“Is that the thing that attacked us in the forest? Have you seen it before?”

“Yes, I’ve been having visions of it for a while. When I draw it… it feels like I’m getting it out of my head and onto the page.”

“You’ve been drawing it a lot. We’ve got to figure out what this thing has against you.”

As she walked closer and closer to the drawings, Xavier thanked every god in existence that he remembered to cover the painting he’s made of her last night. If Bianca hadn’t barged in that morning he probably wouldn’t have.

“I almost forgot how talented you are,” the girl breathed out as her fingers grazed past a drawing of a wolf. “Have you ever thought of doing this professionally?”

The girl’s breath hitched suddenly as her eyes landed on an old pencil drawing of her, the first of many. That one depicted (Y/N) playing her piano in the town’s square, eyes closed, fingers gliding gracefully across the instrument. It looked beautiful. She was beautiful.

“Art is my hobby,” Xavier shrugged. “I don’t like mixing business with pleasure.”

The girl’s eyes were drinking in every drawing on Xavier’s wall individually and then all at once. The boy felt his face growing hotter by the second. No one looked at his art like that, eyes gleaming with adoration.

Thankfully, most of the drawings on her were in a sketchbook specially designated for her. As long as she didn’t find it, he was safe. Or so he thought until the girl’s fingers found the cloth that was over the painting of her. His entire life flashed before his eyes when she gripped the covering and she almost started pulling at it, until Xavier firmly placed his hands on top of the canvas, snatching it from the easel it was placed on.

“No – not that one. Please, I-I’d kill myself if you saw that,” Xavier said, cringing at his own brutal honesty.

He didn’t have anything else to say.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to intrude. This is probably like a sacred space for you and I’ve been touching and ogling everything. I apologise.”

Xavier felt his face was still burning hot, so he kept it on the ground, mostly covered by his brown hair draping over it. His hands were still gripping the top of the painting. His whole body was shaking. Guilt started burning up his throat like bile and threatened to spill everywhere. He never feared hell quite like in this moment.

“I understand if you’re mad-” the girl continued.

“I’m not mad, just embarrassed.”

He tossed the painting into a corner, still making sure it wasn’t visible to her. He should come clean, tell her everything. She deserved to know that in her most private moments with her boyfriend he’s been there, watching. Whether he wanted to or not he’d memorised every inch of her body so well he could draw it from memory. He did.

He looked around for a second to gather all his courage. It was now or never. His gaze fell on a drawing of a rose he made a long time ago and without thinking much about it he grabbed it from the paper and brought it to life. She asked him to throw her a rose once but it felt like eons ago.

He tried to hand the charcoal flower to the girl in front of him but as soon as her fingers touched the stem, it crumbled into fine grey dust. Despite that, she still looked at him with so much undeserved adoration in her eyes. She always seemed so impressed with his stupid little tricks. It made him feel special like he was worth something.

“I’m still trying to get the hang of it. I can’t quite control my powers yet.”

She leaned in a little closer and Xavier could swear to any God who would listen that she was waiting for him to kiss her. If he looked down he could close the gap and get the one thing in this world he wanted most. Not now. He had something important to say now. Let’s see if she still wants to kiss him afterwards.

“Lately I’ve been having these visions… about you.”

Xavier felt like he was choking on the truth. Like it didn’t really want to come out and it was suffocating, for a second he couldn’t breathe and it terrified him.

“I can’t control them, I swear! I’ve tried!”

He didn’t even tell her the whole story and he was already making up excuses as if there was any possibility of him finishing what he has to say and her not hating him feverishly afterwards.

The boy cleared his throat nervously, carefully picking his next words; feeling already extremely uncomfortable. He looked down at (Y/N) and the first thing he noticed was how radiant she looked in the moonlight cascading from an uncovered window. The second thing he noticed was the puzzled look on her face.

“I owe you an explanation, I know-“

“Your lips look so soft.”

Xavier almost didn’t understand what the girl said the first time, as she spoke over him. He must have misheard her. There was no way in seven Hells she’d still be thinking about kissing him in a moment like this.

“They just make it kinda hard to focus on what you’re saying.”

He felt her hand crawl up his back all the way to the base of his skull and he shuddered. Her finger was playing with a strand of his hair, and Xavier found himself closing his eyes and leaning in until their foreheads touched. It was as if he was under a spell. He knew he couldn’t resist her. Frankly, he didn’t even want to try. He’s been waiting for this kiss ever since he first laid eyes on her but she always felt too out of reach. Even before finding out she was taken, she was too pretty for him, too kind, too good.

Now they were alone in his shed at night, basking in the dim light and sharing an embrace. Her hands felt so good scratching his scalp and playing in his hair. It felt nothing like when he was experiencing it through Tyler. This was more intense. This was real.

He bit the apple. Leaning in just a little closer was enough to bridge the gap between their lips and lock them in a slow and tender kiss. He kissed her with so much gentleness as if he was afraid she’d turn into charcoal dust the moment their lips met.

“We shouldn’t be doing this,” he whispered.

“You’re right.”

Another, more forceful kiss. This time their lips crashed into each other like they were trying to devour one another. His hands started roaming her body as if trying to make sure she was real, she was there and he wasn’t about to wake up.

“Xavier,”

She said his name and it sounded almost like a prayer. Xavier felt himself coming apart at the seams, nearly bursting with excitement and longing for this girl. Nearly falling on his knees he had to steady himself by grabbing the table he usually works on. The sound of his art supplies hitting the floor didn’t startle either of them, too busy getting lost in one another. He didn’t even have to help her jump on the table, before he could register what was happening, her legs were already wrapped around him like a ribbon around a Christmas present. She was holding onto him like she was waiting for salvation.

A small voice in Xavier’s mind was telling him it was wrong. She was probably just using him to forget about her stupid boyfriend and his tantrums. An even smaller voice was telling him that he should let her; that if this was the only way to be with her, he should settle for it. Being a girl’s rebound wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Especially not if it’s her.

Xavier let out a sigh.

“It’s not fair,” he whispered close to her mouth.

They couldn’t go any further. It wasn’t fair to him – who was in love with her, to her – who was heartbroken and confused and probably still in love with Tyler. It wasn’t even fair to Tyler for that matter. Even if they’d split tonight for good (which they might not, Xavier has seen them break up and get back together again and again so many times in the past year) it’s only been an hour since that happened.

Not fair.

He forced himself to pull back for a second and just look at her. This was one sin he’d allow himself to commit over and over again every time he got the chance. Just to look at her. It still made him feel guilty.

“You look in pain, is it your leg?”

It fucking hurt. Being in this perfect moment with the perfect girl and knowing it has to end and it can’t happen again hurts like a motherfucker. Why must his conscience be so heavy?

Xavier shifted his weight on his now barely grazed leg just to test it. He felt a sort of dull ache, like the memory of the pain he was in when he got scratched by the monster. He shuddered at the thought of that beast. His dreams of (Y/N) made him feel guilty, dirty, creepy; but he preferred that tenfold compared to the blood curdling fear he felt when he was having nightmares about the monster terrorizing Jericho. He wondered how much worse would they get after tonight. Would he dream about being torn to shreds over and over again? Would it feel just as excruciating as it did in real life?

“I’m fine,” he managed to snap back to reality and answer. “It’s just…” he took a moment, two, three to find his words. “Can you stay over tonight? I can’t bear the thought of you going home all alone after all that and I don’t think I’m in good enough shape to walk you there.”

The girl bit on her lip as if she was mulling it over. After a few moments of deliberation, she nodded her head.

The two of them made themselves comfortable on the old mattress the girl previously dragged in the middle of the room and covered themselves with a sage bed sheet that didn’t do much in terms of keeping them warm.

“Are you cold?” Xavier asks draping a hand over her tentatively. “I could sneak you into my dorm room, it's warmer there, but I don’t want to make you climb through a window.”

He let out a hesitant chuckle, which died in his throat the second the girl cozied up to him, her head close to his chest. There was no way she couldn’t hear how frantic his heart was beating, but it didn’t seem to bother her. She was warm compared to the cold shed. And her body seemed to fit into his like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. Their arms wrapped around each other’s bodies so easily, like they’ve done that a thousand times before in another lifetime.

So unfair.

“I’m fine here, it’s more intimate.”

Intimate. Xavier liked that word. Especially the way it rolled off her lips.

“I’m sorry I freaked out on you earlier about the painting. Please don’t hate me.”

(Y/N) propped herself up on her elbow and looked at Xavier for a second through sleepy eyes. She placed a gentle kiss on the boy’s temple. He knew what that meant. A healer’s kiss is their most powerful spell. It could bring someone back from the brink of death. The boy let out something between a sigh and a sob.

“I could never hate you,” she whispered.

Xavier couldn’t believe his own ears. He must have died and ended up in heaven. Though, what were the chances that someone like him would end up in a place like that?

“Maybe you should.”

“You went through so much, Xavier. The monster, the visions, the insomnia; you’re tired and hurt. Plus the whole ordeal with Tyler and the legal issues that came after. It’s okay to freak out, I understand. I’m here.”

It took everything in Xavier not to break down right then and there. He let go of a few silent tears and hoped she couldn’t see them in the dark. He had to tell her the whole story, he just didn’t have it in him to ruin the happiest he’s ever been in a long time. He was selfish as shit and he was going to pay for that in hell or on earth. But for the first time in so long they didn’t feel like the same place for him.

“You make everything better.”

“Let’s just go to sleep. As long as I’m here you shouldn’t have problems.”

She was too good for him. Knowing exactly what to say, knowing what he needed her to do before he even asked. And she was always looking to help him, to heal him. But there was a question weighing Xavier’s mind. What if he was meant to hurt? What if the pain was his deserved punishment?

“Good night, Xav.”

He couldn’t even mutter an answer because he fell asleep. And Xavier couldn’t recall the last time he slept so peacefully.

taglist: @ryswritingrecord; @rayliz793; @vviviivvivivivvivivivi; @kkmstblog; @khaylin27; @hopelessromanticwriter; @kis9na - feel free to ask in the notes to be added to the tag list. whether on this story or on all my writing

thank you to all the amazing people writing nice things in the tags, notes and reblogs. you are the best and i'm kissing you on the forehead.

[a.n.] can you guys believe i'm still alive? its been almost a year since i promised i'd publish part 3 and here it is. i never said when...

but in all honesty i'm sorry it took me so long. i have no excuse other my my own perfectionism didn't let me publish. i wrote this chapter with five different endings and none of them felt right. one was too angsty, one was too smutty too soon. i just wasn't happy with it. i write for fun and the more pressure i put on myself the less fun it was. i have three more fics written 3/4 but not finished simply because my brain won't cooperate. one fic is in the stranger things fandom. in other news i got diagnosed with adhd and autism and this might be a factor. my wednesday hyperfixation dwindled out. but i wanna keep writing if you guys want to keep reading. i just need patience and maybe medication. this hasn't been fully proofread, just bits and pieces because i fear if i reread it again from top to bottom for the hundredth time i'll rage delete all of it, my entire blog and then myself. sorry. let's hope part four will come out before wednesday season 2

#wednesday #wednesday fanfic #wednesday addams #wednesday netflix #xavier thorpe #xavier thrope x reader #xavier thorpe x you #xavier thorpe x y/n #reader insert #x reader

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