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jockbroski34 · 2 months

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How Things Used To Be

I wonder how long it took me to notice that there was something wrong with Nathan. We had been best friends for years, ever since the 5th grade, and we always hung out together both in and out of school. I was hoping things could’ve stayed like that this summer, but it seemed like fate had other plans. Between family vacations and college prep, it seemed like he didn’t have time for me anymore. And to make it worse, whenever he wasn’t doing that, he was hanging out with some other guys who I had never met, and he never even bothered to ask me if I wanted to come with. I know people grow and change, but I didn’t want to see it happen to my own best friend. On the bright side, we’re going to the same college, so I hope I can see him around.

And I did see him. It was the third week of courses, once I was starting to get acquainted with campus life. For once, I was actually being more social, trying to fill the gap that Nathan left. I used this opportunity to start talking to people in my classes and I found that we had some similar interests. I wish I could say the same for my roommate, but he mostly keeps to himself and we don’t have much in common.

Okay, back to Nathan. I was walking back to the dorms after my last class, texting one of my classmates about the homework. I was interrupted when I walked headfirst into another student. I should’ve been paying more attention to my surroundings. I looked up at the giant in front of me, probably 6’3”, before apologizing.

“James, is that you?” the giant asked. The voice sounded very familiar, yet at the same time, different. I took a closer look at him. “Long time no see, huh?” I was surprised when I realized who it was.

“Nate? Woah, what happened to you?” I couldn’t believe that this person in front of me was my best friend. This was not the same Nathan from three months ago during graduation. He was always a bit taller than me, but he had to have grown at least 3 inches. He used to wear glasses, but it seemed like he switched over to contacts.

In the warm August heat, he was wearing a tank top which revealed his newfound biceps for the whole world to see. The tank top clung closely to his chest and I could see his newly-formed six-pack through the fabric. He was wearing basketball shorts that were short enough that I could catch a glimpse of his thighs, which were just as big as his arms. I never knew Nathan went to the gym, and if he did, he never told me. But still, I couldn’t comprehend how he became so huge in just three months, which made me more curious about what he had been up to. A backwards hat fit tightly atop his head with Greek letters on them. Sigma Lambda Chi… Had Nathan really joined a frat? To be completely honest, he looked like he was cosplaying as a frat bro, a far cry from how I knew him.

“Like what you see, bro?” James chuckled, as he flexed one of his arms. He definitely never came across as a cocky showoff, but I was too distracted by his flexed bicep to notice. I caught myself staring for a second too long, before feeling my face turn red hot. Me and Nathan knew everything about each other, but there was one thing I never told him. I was gay. To tell you the truth, I had a crush on him, but I knew I could never tell him to preserve our friendship. But now he looks even better, and he hasn’t made time for me at all. Now he really felt out of my league.

“I’ve been working out a lot lately. I’m glad you noticed.” He still had his signature smile, but it looked out of place on his new body. His face especially looked a lot more angular and masculine. A visible tan glazed over his body like a fresh coat of paint.

“Daaamn! You look great, dude!” To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to feel talking to him again. On one hand, I was happy to see him again, and, admittedly, a little surprised to see him like this. On the other hand, he ditched me this whole summer to hang out with some other guys. It felt so bittersweet.

“If there weren’t other people around, I’d let you…I mean uh, how have you been bro? I know I’ve been busy a lot lately. Sorry about that, dude.” We told each other what we did over the summer, and wow, was his summer more interesting.

As we caught up, I learned more about what he has been up to. Apparently, he joined a frat and he was hanging out with the guys there more and more. He promised that he’d bring me to a party sometime, but I was hesitant because I’m not much of a party animal. That lifestyle just isn’t for me. He also said he was thinking about joining our school’s football team at the request of his roommate, which I found even more surprising because Nathan never played sports in high school. I did track, but I was never that big into sports myself. Our conversation was interrupted as another guy entered the scene.

“Yo, Nate! Finally found you. You seriously need to get better at texting me back, dude. And who’s this dude?” The guy was wearing the same hat as Nate, so I figured he was one of his frat bros.

“My bad, bro. Brett, this is James. We go way back. James, this is Brett. He’s my roommate. We met over the summer and we’ve been hanging out since.”

“Alright, cool, bro,” Brett responded, clearly impatient and indifferent towards me. He dismissed me entirely, almost like I wasn’t worth his time. “You still going to the gym with me or what?”

“Sorry, bro. I just ran into him and we were catching up.” Nathan responded. “Hey, I gotta get going. We should get food sometime. Peace!” I watched as Nathan and Brett walked away in the opposite direction of me towards the gym. As they moved further away, I could hear Brett chastise him about something. This is the guy that Nathan ditched me for? I hope I’m wrong, but he seemed like kind of a dick. I know I was jealous of him for taking up my best friend’s time, but I didn’t trust him. As for me, I returned to the dorm to work on the assignment with my roommate.

The next time I saw Nate was that weekend, when I held up his promise to get something to eat. I tried to ask him about it earlier in the week, but he was doing stuff at the frat all that time. I was at least grateful that he took time out of his schedule for me for once. He mentioned that he normally doesn’t hang out with anyone who wasn’t in the frat, almost like they were some exclusive bro clique that I was excluded from. For once, it was good to hang out with him one-on-one without any of his frat bros getting in the way. I expected things to be like how they were before, but I couldn’t be any more wrong.

It’s not that I disliked the new Nathan, but I felt like we didn’t have much common ground anymore. It was like he was a completely different person. He didn’t seem to care that much about our old interests anymore. He didn’t have time for video games and he just wasn’t that interested in watching movies or photography anymore. All he seemed to care about was working out all day and partying all night. All he would talk about was some stupid stuff he or one of his bros did.

Plus, he told me he switched his major from mechanical engineering to be a personal trainer. It seemed like he just became a total gym bro overnight. The studious and witty Nathan that I loved kinda just seemed to be a stereotypical meathead now. The worst part was that I knew that this was the same Nathan deep down, and he still treated me the same even if he was a lot busier. I felt like maybe I was the problem since he was clearly still having a good time, and I wasn’t. Why do I feel this way?

I felt my mood change as we talked. Eventually, I figured it was time to cut off the conversation and return to the dorm, but Nathan definitely knew something was off. He texted me later that evening, asking me if everything was alright. To be honest, I wanted to make some lame excuse that I was feeling sick, but we’ve always been honest with each other, so I told him how I really felt.

Me: Nate, to be honest, I think I need some time away from you. I don’t hate you or anything, but it feels like we’ve been growing apart and I feel like you’ve become a different person. I feel like when I look at you, I don’t see the Nathan I’ve known for years, but someone else entirely.

I wanted to say more about how I felt about his new changes, but I didn’t want to escalate things.

Nathan: James, I’m sorry you feel that way about me. I felt like we had a good time today. I’ve grown and changed a lot recently, and I’ve realized a lot about myself, but I’m happy with who I am right now. I know I’m spending a lot of time at the gym or with Brett or my other bros, but I still care about you deeply, bro. You might be right though. Hanging out with you isn’t the same as hanging with the guys at the frat.

Me: Do you honestly see yourself as just a frat boy? You’re more than that. You’re my best friend. But now, you have more in common with the jocks from high school than the Nathan I knew. It’s hard talking to you now since all you care about anymore are your gains and partying. You’re nothing more than a meathead now.

Nathan: So that’s how you see me, bro? The reason I had been avoiding you is because I knew that you wouldn’t like seeing me like this. I guess I was right, bro. But trust me, I’m happy like this. I’m a lot more social than when I was when I was with you, and I’ve even become more in shape too. I care about our friendship more than you can possibly imagine, but I guess this is for the best. To be honest, I think it would be a lot of fun if you were here in the frat with me, but I know you wouldn’t say yes.

I didn’t bother responding. I could never picture myself joining a frat. I would never get along with his frat bro friends, especially Brett, who seemed to be the one he was closest with. I still couldn’t believe Nate would choose him over me. I wasn’t sure whether to feel angry, or sad, or disappointed towards him. I felt like he was wasting his life partying when he should be studying. To think this was the person I cared about more than anyone. It was at this point that I figured I probably wouldn’t have my old friend back. Or so I thought.

A couple weeks passed and I tried to move on from Nathan. I always saw him on his story drinking and partying late into the night at the frat house or posting selfies at the gym. He looked like he was fully embracing his new frat boy persona now. If he didn’t still care about me, it would’ve felt like he was doing it out of spite. As for me, I started to hang out with my classmates more and more, and there was even a guy I went on a date with. It was a nice date and I did like the guy, but for some reason, the thought of Nathan lingered in my mind. Even though I hated what he had become, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him. I couldn’t deny how much he turned me on. Why was I still thirsting after a stupid fucking frat bro? One afternoon, after I returned to my dorm, I received a text on my phone. To my surprise, it was Nathan.

“Hey bro, can we talk? There are some things I need to get off my chest.”

I didn’t know what he could possibly want with me now. I suppose I can hear him out just so I can see what he wants. I went over to his room further down the hall, and thankfully Brett was not here to ruin the moment. Nate said that he was doing some preparations for some stuff at the frat. When I asked, he didn’t specify what though. It always feels like stuff at the frat is kept under wraps.

“Did you want a drink?”

“Sure.”

“Even if it’s beer?” A mischievous grin appeared on his face. Was he seriously offering me beer? I knew that alcohol wasn’t allowed in the dorms, but clearly that rule didn’t faze him. Obviously he knew how to get his hands on some drinks. To be honest, I had never drank alcohol before, but I figured this would be the easiest way to try it before I turned 21. Plus, it might alleviate the tension between us. Either that or make us fight like two drunkards in a bar.

“Sure, why not.” Nate went to get two bottles for us. I took my first sip and was disgusted by the bitter taste of the beer.

“You don’t like it? Neither did I at first,” Nate chuckled. “After a while, you get used to it.” Nate turned the TV on as we chatted. I apologized about what I said about him last time we talked, but he said it was no big deal. I felt like I was a little too harsh on him. It could just be the alcohol, but I found that I got along with him better than I did weeks ago. As we chatted, my body started to tingle. Was this how it felt like to be drunk?

“Hey, Nate. I feel kinda weird, but not like drunk weird. Is this normal, bro?” I asked. By this point, we both had two drinks each. I didn’t mind the taste of the beer the second time.

“Nah, you’re fine bro.” Nate responded, with a smile on his face. Compared to me, he appeared to be much more sober. “It happens sometimes, especially when you’re not used to it.” I figured he knew best, since he was the one drinking and partying all the time, so I ignored this foreign feeling rushing through my body. I felt as if my body was overheating as I felt my arms and legs throb and pulsate. Sweat was leaking off my armpits and down my forehead. There was part of me that knew that something was off, but it was drowned out by the alcohol. As I took another sip, I felt my arm spasm as I accidentally spilled some beer onto my shirt. Shit, I wasn’t expecting to do laundry later.

“Damn bro, you made a mess. You alright? Do you wanna change your shirt?” Nate asked. I nodded and he quickly went to his room to pick out something for me. It wasn’t the first time I had to wear his clothes. “Sorry about that, bro. First thing I found. Hope it fits you.” It was a stringer tank with Sigma Lambda Chi on it. I bet Nate looked like a walking symbol of the frat wearing that stuff. For some reason, the idea was kinda amusing to me because it seemed so over the top. I wondered how I would look dressed up like that. I’d probably look really stupid.

I stripped out of my wet shirt and changed right in front of him. I caught a whiff from my armpits, and I thought I smelled like a sweaty gym bro. The tank appeared to be a size up and it hung loosely on me. Still, it was better than nothing I guess. Despite that, it had a nice familiar smell to it though. It smelled like Nathan, but at the same time, it had a different flavor to it. He smelled a lot more manly than I remembered. I bet he wore it to the gym often.

Eventually, after my third drink, I went to go to the bathroom. My body was starting to ache, like I had just done a workout with Nate earlier. Workout…Was that what happened earlier? …I think so? Did we work out after class and come back to his place for some brewskis? For some reason, the events of today felt incredibly fuzzy to me. I was starting to forget the reason I was here in the first place.

I clumsily stumbled over my feet which looked bigger than usual. After I took a piss, I looked at myself in the mirror. Something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t always look that big, right? From a first glance, it looked like I was looking through one of those distorted mirrors they have at amusement parks. I had to have been really drunk at this point. I chuckled at the figure in front of me. At this point, I almost looked like one of those frat bros! I decided to flex my arms like they would, oblivious to the fact that they already grew just a little bit, before joining Nate on the couch.

“There you are, big man!” he said as he squeezed my muscles. I have been working out recently, I think. “I thought you passed out in there. Most guys don’t last that long for their first time, but you look good enough for another brewski.”

After downing our fourth drinks, the conversation took a different turn.

“Yo, James. I knew you said you weren’t too big on the idea of joining our frat last time we chatted, but how do you feel now, having thought things over?”

I remembered our last conversation. Honestly, I was so drunk that I didn’t remember why I turned him down in the first place. The idea that seemed unappealing to me at the time seemed like it was perfect for me at this moment. I didn’t even understand why I would be so reluctant to join. I needed to join more than anything else. I would do anything to join, even if I had to completely humiliate myself in front of my fellow bros. At this point, nothing was too extreme for me. The fact that Nate was in it was enough reason to join, so we could hang out more like we used to. Plus, I could get to hang out with all my other bros and drink and party whenever we want.

“I’ve given it some thought, and yeah bro, I’ll join,” my voice slurred as my mouth moved before my mind could. I had committed at this point. No backing out now. I’m a member of Sigma Lambda Chi for life.

“Sweet, bro!” He grabbed me on my far shoulder and pulled me close. “I’m glad you said yes, because I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes, bro.”

I closed my eyes as Nate went into his room to grab something. Did I actually agree to join his frat? I’m not sure what’s going on with me today. When he came back, I felt Nate press on my head as his “surprise” fit tight around it. “You can open them now.”

I realized I was wearing the same hat that Nate always wore, with his frat’s letters printed on it. “We’re gonna be matching now, bro. Isn’t that awesome? I know you’re gonna want to wear it whenever and wherever. But you’re wearing it wrong. Let me fix it for you, dude.” He turned the brim around so it faced my back. As my hat turned backwards, I felt my mind fog up and any tension or brain activity screech to a halt. I was unable to realize what I signed myself up for, unable to protest. My conscious mind was drowned out by the alcohol and this hat was like a lock, sealing it away. Not that I was against this, as a wave of pleasure surged through me. I felt my mind slow down, almost as if it was stuck in molasses, as my thoughts began to simplify. It felt good though...

I would follow the example of my fellow brothers. Look like them, think like them, act like them. Almost like a hivemind of bros, you know, bro? By this point, the changes were irreversible. Nate had turned me into another frat bro just like him.

“Everything worked out as planned, bro. You see, when you, my own best bro, told me you didn’t want to join the frat with me, I was actually really hurt. So I talked to Brett, and had him “work his magic”, to help me do to you what he did to me. I don’t like to lie to you, but it’s a frat secret, so now you get to know bro. Like I said, it’s a secret, so don’t talk about this with anyone.”

“Don’t worry about it bro. It’s all…uh…

Fuck dude, what’s the word…water under the bridge? Huhuhu…” I really had to think about that one. I found it harder to articulate and use complex words, as I mainly just spoke in bro-speak. To be honest, I wasn’t really that upset that he lied to me. He did what he had to as a member of the frat. I never stayed mad at one of my bros for very long.

“Now we get to be brothers for life,” he said as he gave me a big bro hug. We clung to each other like two giant masses of muscle. My huge biceps wrapped around his firm back as his did for me. Afterwards, he handed me my fifth drink and we cheered to me joining Sigma Lambda Chi. He laid down all of the rules, what everything was like, telling me about the coolest guys there, and so on. He said he’d bring me to the frat house and introduce me to everyone tomorrow. “They’re gonna love you for sure, bro. I’ve got an eye for cool bros like you.”

As it got later, and we moved on to drink numero 6, I felt myself get very tired as we both passed out on his couch. I woke up a couple hours later, and I looked out the window to see a pitch black sky. Shit, it was almost 10 PM and I had to turn in my assignment at midnight. But for some reason, I didn’t really care right now. I didn’t mind turning in assignments late as long as the teacher still gave me credit. I felt no different from the way I was a couple hours ago, just another Sigma Lambda Chi frat bro, but I liked it. It felt right to me. It was where I, no, where we belonged.

I looked down. Nate’s tank hung tightly to me now. It took me a second to notice my arms…Holy shit, they were fucking huge! I looked awesome, bro. As I admired my new body, Nate was still asleep, his hand on my meaty thigh. Just above that, my dick throbbed through my pants. Fuck, I was so horny for some reason. Eventually, Nate slowly regained consciousness.

“I usually don’t drink this much on a school day,” Nate said, still a little hungover as he rubbed his eyes. We sat in silence for about a minute before he spoke again. “By the way, there was another reason I invited you over. There’s something that’s been on my chest for a while.”

“Go ahead, bro. I can take it,” I responded confidently. My voice sounded deeper and more bro-like than usual, just like him.

“Here goes, dude. I think I like you, bro. Not like you, but I think I like like you. I know it’s hella gay, but I couldn’t stand to see you be so cold to me. That’s why I had to make you a bro like me. I’m sure you’ll love it here, bro. And hey, if you’re not gay, that’s cool. We can forget this shit ever happened and go back to being bros for life.”

At first, I honestly thought I was still dreaming. First, he turned me into a frat boy, and now, he was confessing his feelings to me? How crazier could this night get? For all my life, I thought he was straight. I remembered being glad when he broke up with his girlfriend two years back. I couldn’t stand her. When he joined Sigma Lambda Chi, I assumed he was 100% straight and that he was banging some sorority chicks every night. To think he felt the same way I did all this time.

“Bro, I like you too. When you stopped talking to me, I started to get kinda jealous. I didn’t want to accept you for who you are. But being your bro just isn’t enough for me, bro.” I leaned in for a kiss, my inhibitions still nowhere to be found. It was my first kiss and it was with the person I cherished most. I felt like I was in heaven. I didn’t really care that I was a dumb frat bro like him anymore. I never did. That shit was stupid anyways. But now, Nate fixed our friendship and made us closer than ever. I loved the taste of his lips against mine and I didn’t want it to end but eventually Nate parted our lips.

“Wanna fuck me, bro?” he whispered in my ear. A flirtatious smirk was plastered on his face, and one of his hands was still wrapped around my neck. This was real. I nodded as he took me to his bed. I had never done this before, but I’ve seen plenty of porn, so I knew what to expect. He laid down on his back and stripped naked. I never felt this aroused before. My dick even looked bigger than it used to be. I was so pent up that I felt like I was holding this load in for months. I guess frat bros really are as horny as they say. I lubed up my larger cock before sticking it into Nate’s hole.

My serpent stretched out his tight hole as he had clearly not seen much action down there until now. I pounded his ass as my dick went in and out of him. In and out, in and out, in and out…It was a steady rhythm, my dick was like a metronome. My hands clung to him as I held him in place, pinning him to his bed. My hands ran all over his shoulders, broad and muscular, built like a football player’s. We both felt absolutely euphoric as our deep, masculine moans filled the room. The moans were loud enough that the students on the other side of the wall could easily hear them, but I didn’t care about any noise complaints as I fucked him harder and harder. After half an hour of fucking, he both hit our orgasm at almost exactly the same time. I ejaculated inside his tight hole, my hot, sticky seed flooding his insides as Nate came all over his abs. At this point I was exhausted and still hungover and I basically fell on top of him on his bed. We were both panting and out of breath.

“I knew you were a good fucker, bro.” he whispered seductively as he kissed me. We stayed in that position for several minutes until we heard the door open.

“Yo, Nate! Did you do it? How did it go?” a voice asked, shouting loudly from the other room. I recognized the voice as Brett’s. He peeked into the room, witnessing the two of us cuddling together naked. To be honest, I thought he would’ve been grossed out. Guess I had the wrong idea about him.

“Better than expected, dude,” Nate responded. He didn’t seem to care that we were both naked in front of his roommate and that we just got back from our trip to Pound Town.

“He looks way better this way, don’t you agree, bro? But man, dude, now I know why you wanted him to be a pledge so bad. I was wondering why you wouldn’t fuck any of those sexy sorority babes. More for me, I guess.”

A week passed and by then, I joined the frat officially. Me and Nate started dating shortly after, but none of our bros minded. It didn’t matter if we were gay, we were still brothers. I also learned how Nate met Brett. He was taking a tour of the campus over the summer and he ran into Brett who was recruiting people for the frat. Brett took a liking to him and kinda took him under his wing like some sort of mentor and they started hanging out since he only lived a town away from us. Brett was our age, but he had more seniority and authority because his older brother Brad was very popular within the frat. Turns out Brett and some of the upperclassmen knew how to turn guys into the ideal bros for their frat. They wanted to bolster their numbers to make Sigma Lambda Chi the biggest and coolest frat in the state, with the biggest bros and the biggest parties, and naturally both me and Nate were chosen. Not that either of us minded. Nate joined the football team with Brett and some other guys in the frat, and the rest of us would go watch them play every game. Our section of the stadium was always the loudest and rowdiest, especially when one of our bros scored a touchdown.

Apparently I grew a ton during the night that I was with Nate, but I was too drunk to notice just how massive I had become. It must’ve been something in the beer, huhu. I started working out with Nate and Brett, and sometimes some other bros too. I even ended up changing my major. I chose business because my bros said that it was the easiest shit ever and I wasn’t feeling psychology anymore. I didn’t really feel like thinking much anymore and I found that focusing on education so much was a chore and that I was wasting my college experience. I’d rather be partying and drinking or hanging out with the bros at the frat house, watching sports, playing video games, or playing ball outside. I got to see why Nate grew to enjoy this lifestyle so much, and I was mad at myself for not seeing his point of view sooner.

Three years later, me and Nate are still dating and we’re set to graduate this semester. We’re thinking about getting a place in the city not too far from campus, probably with Brett and another friend of ours to save money on rent. We’ll probably still throw parties every weekend like we used to. College was such a memorable experience and I wish I could live it again. I only have Nate, Brett, and all my other bros to thank for making college awesome for me.

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letstripdotcom · 3 months

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losing sleep - matt sturniolo x fem!reader

a/n: much needed enemies to lovers bc i’m a SLUT for enemies to lovers. also country song fic bc i’m a little southern girl🤠

summary: matt sturniolo was the boy you hated most. it wasn’t always that way. one day he just decided he hated everything about you. that was until you slowly started to break down every wall off hatred and anger.

warnings: smut (eventual) mentions of being drunk/drinking, mentions of family problems

well i’ve been losing sleep

like a man loses time

reminiscing over memories

bouta lose my damn mind

he was the kindest, sweetest person to walk the planet. he was absolutely adorable. everyone admired him, and worshiped at he’s feet. matt sturniolo could do no wrong. he had the sweetest smile and the kindest eyes, and he didn’t have a mean bone in his body

but that wasn’t the case for you. matt hated you actually. he couldn’t stand being around you. you genuinely didn’t know why either. you didn’t have a reason to hate him, other than the fact that he hated you.

every time you spoke, he would shut you up by throwing a mean comment at you. when you walked into the room he would groan. he just seemed so bothered by you, but you never asked why. the once time you tried the only thing he said to you was “don’t ever talk to me again” and so you didn’t.

you and matt were best friends at one point. you spent every day together one summer and you were inseparable. you would wake up, go to the triplets house, do whatever, and when the moon came out your adventures had just begun. on the night everything changed you were too blacked out to even recall what had happened. you just woke up the next morning and matt wasn’t talking to you anymore.

matt’s pov:

people constantly ask me why me and y/n don’t get along the way we used to anymore, and as much as i want to tell them it’s because i hate her, she’s a terrible person, and things will never be the same, i know that’s not the full truth.

yes i hate her annoying voice, and i hate when she talks about boys, or when she comes to nick crying because some boy broke her heart. i hate the way she laughs and i hate how she squeals when she gets excited. i hate everything about her, but i used to love her once.

it wasn’t until a drunken night in late july that everything changed. y/n and i sat out by the pool at her house as we passed a bottle of pink whitney and talked about our lives. a lot of that night was a blur. but i remember kissing her. we were both so shitfaced, and so stupid.

“hey matt?” she spoke up “hmm?” i turned my head to look at her, as the world around me spun. “would you ever kiss me?” she asked. “i don’t know y/n, why?” i stared at her trying to read her expression to see what she was thinking. she leaned in and kissed me like it was something we did all the time. it was messy, but it was sweet. but what i didn’t expect was what she said to me after.

“matt i think you should leave.” she slurred

“y/n i’ve been drinking i can’t drive.” i argues

“you can sleep on the couch tonight but you need to be gone by the morning matt, i can’t do this.” she demanded

“do what?” i asked

“i’m sorry matt. goodnight.” she got up and stormed inside

and that was the night everything between us changed. i wasn’t friends with y/n after that day. when people noticed the distance between us, i had told them we got into an argument. i told them how much i hated her for it, and i told them i would NEVER love her the same again.

in august, my friend nate threw an end of summer party. i went, but i avoided y/n at all costs. i sat by his pool alone, downing a bottle of malibu. i wanted to just drink until i wasn’t thinking about y/n, but it’s like she never went away. the more i drank the more i thought about her.

i pull out my phone as i start to type her contact in. i’m so drunk i can barely make out the letters, but i try my best. i need to call her. i just have to make things right. i know she’s got nothing left to say, but i should call anyways. just then, nate comes outside. “yo matt are you okay?” i didn’t call her that night, and i didn’t fix things.

time skip

i roll my eyes when i walk into my house and hear her voice. she’s laughing about something. i hate that stupid laugh. what could possibly be so funny? i scoff as i walk by. as i pass nicks room, it takes me a few moments to register she’s not laughing, she’s crying.

just then, i get a text.

nick

y/n is having serious family problems right now, be nice when you get home pls!

i’m not home right now, but she needed a place to stay.

👍

i stand outside nicks door for a moment before turning to the kitchen. i grab my tub of mint chip ice cream and a bag of blue takis. those were our favorite snacks when we were kids i quietly walk up to nicks door and knock lightly. she let out a broken “come in” i opened up the door with a soft smile and i hand her the snacks i grabbed

we didn’t speak to each other at all, but we didn’t need to. she took the snacks and scooted over on the bed, signaling me to sit down. i sat down and engulfed her in a hug. she pressed her head against my chest and began sobbing.

i held her in my arms all night. we didn’t talk, and she just cried. i never wanted to let go of her and expose her to whatever else could happen to her. i didn’t need to ask her what happened, and she didn’t need to ask me why i was letting her do this. eventually, we fell asleep. i held her like if i let go she would disappear.

part 2 tmr! ❤️

#Spotify #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo #sturniolo smut #sturniolo triplets #chris sturniolo smut #christopher sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #smut #nick sturniolo #sturniolo

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sylvies-chen · 1 year

Text

ok started the episode a little late but I just finished it so here’s the weekly recap folks…

TED LASSO 3.04 THOUGHTS:

holy shit this episode was FANTASTIC there was so much going on!! so much goodness!!

roy seeing jamie butt ass naked at 4 am… who had this on their bingo card? anyone? no?

I’m SO glad we got that sassy & ted mess out of the way, I hope ted stops the casual sex and realizes it’s not fulfilling his needs

nate picking up the little lasso figurine and ted still having the picture of him and nate feels like a third act breakup montage of a rom com moment please I feel sick 😭

dani befriending a 108-year-old man just makes so much sense to me. that’s my friendly husband right there !!!!!

OKLAHOMA. motherfucking… OKLAHOMA??? oh my god this is insane I’m foaming at the mouth like the way she laughed at his pun when sassy called them insufferable the way he told her she was better off without rupert the implications of her using a term from his marriage counseling to coax the truth out of him THE WAY SHE INSTANTLY KNEW SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH HIM

it’s also so good because that certainly wasn’t THE long awaited office chat or else they would have made a comment about “same place same time” so that means we have YET ANOTHER office chat coming up and I don’t doubt they’ll bring up “oklahoma” again

nate… ugh, what a guy. lonely is the only word for him. there’s something so sad and pitiable about where he’s at right now, getting all the fame and credit but no support. there is a good person inside him just banging to get out, you can feel it

ooooooof yeah shandy messed up BIG TIME and keeley, babe, it’s not your fault for trying to see the good in people and believing in them!! she’s probably going to have to make the tough call to fire her if she wants to get in jack’s good graces

the team getting angry and violent over seeing nate destroy the believe sign actually made me cry. it’s just beautiful to me, even if they reacted wrong in the context of the game. they’re saying, “we made something good here. we have something beautiful. how dare you defile what is sacred to us, something that has bettered us as people. feel our wrath. feel our hurt.” I love my richmond guys 😭

it’s so wild to me that rebecca dealt with rupert having an affair in a mature and restrained way but she lowkey went maniacal with ted at half time like girlie has range i guess wow 😂

TED’S FIRST ATTEMPT AT CONFRONTATION OH MY GOD FUCKING FINALLY and it went pretty well too!! he flat out admitted he was angry, and did so in a respectful way. the baby steps of growth that we see happening here are beautiful I’m so proud !!

can we get that sports commentator who said he kept predicting things too often to manifest a tedbecca endgame?

#ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #dani rojas #tedbecca #nate shelley

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dollsome-does-tumblr · 1 year

Text

some ted lasso 3.05 thoughts, tedbecca-heavy as per usual--

this is a dumb point to start with, but the models in the car driving off listening to "wake me up before you go-go!” and being such an obvious homage to the pre-gasoline fight zoolander scene really warmed my heart and soul. FLAWLESS. that is simply what life is like when you are a model.

i think ted and rebecca might be happening. their scene in the hallway caused me to hug a throw pillow and announce to my bf in overjoyed dismay, “if they actually get together i’m going to DIE!!!!!!” he was like, “maybe they’ll die,” to which i shrieked, “NO! i need them to LIVE and FALL IN LOVE!!!!!” i’m a great tv-watching companion. (we might have a slight roy and keeley energy going.) that moment where they were both like ‘psychic? bullying? wtf is going on? why are we so freakily on the same wavelength?’ and i was like ‘FINALLY, YOU FOOLS, THIS IS HOW WE’VE BEEN SUFFERING FOREVER!!!!!!!!’ was just really almost too much for me to handle. that wide shot of them staring at each other in alarm. help!!!!!!!

john wingsnight, coming back with the unexpected shite in nining armor!!!!!!

crying over rebecca welton is actually something that can be so personal, aaaaah. i’m really relieved that i do not think we are getting a pregnancy storyline because i really didn’t want that. i’m looking forward to seeing how the mother thing might happen a different way. i’m being extremely restrained and tactful and not making any more specific predictions than that.

also, rebecca not being able to get ahold of keeley throughout this episode really had me :’(. the emergency contact moment? NO! (what if .......... ted .................)

obviously i need keeley and roy to get back together and i’m in pain, but keeley/jack is def as fun a rebound situation as i can imagine. (bi keeley, overtly confirmed at last!) also, the lamb!!! messy, but cute af.

shandy’s quitting scene was extremely hilarious. what a journey!

roy’s neverending bully revenge monologue ................. astounding.

i really liked that we got a leslie and rebecca chat in this episode. i love them together! i’m also going to believe that the biscuit box being right there open behind the matchbox was an homage to “helping us see something that we can’t quite see ourselves” ........

i know that jade/nate is kind of tricky due to their searingly tense and awkward history, but i like the idea of her really getting a glimpse of nate’s good-heartedness and his sincere love of the restaurant and that being the thing to melt her heart toward him. and i just want nate to have someone he can have fun & laugh with in an end-of-ep montage!

r.i.p. believe sign! (r.i.p., rip, it works on levels!)

ted being done with shame and all that shit!!!!! ted finding his way out of his panic attack!!!! my heart is very full!!!!!!

“where one night out unlocks truths for many”

“where one night out unlocks truths for many” ????????????????????????

(chuckles) i’m in danger!

#dollsome's deep thoughts #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #ted x rebecca #tedbecca

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vole-mon-amour · 1 year

Text

3x08, part 1.

Opening the episode with literally Jamie's name is !!! I'm already smiling. My boooy. <3 A streak of four wins just bc Jamie saw the flaw in Total Football, fixed it, and there we go <3

I am so incredibly sad for what Ted has to go through. This SUCKS. Some other man is bad enough, but your fucking therapist is a punch in the gut. Especially when you still have feelings for the woman you love, but she doesn't love you anymore.

I don't UNDERSTAND! If TedBecca isn't supposed to be romantic like Hannah and the writers say, why this? Like, yeah, they've been to the same party, obviously. And the mention is casual, "they're brother and sister to me", but I still see the foreshadowing. Like, I'm all TedTrent and bi Ted, but ????

Mae is so sweet. What a woman.

Seeing wlw in s3 of Ted Lasso was the last thing I expected, but hell yeah. Please don't make Jack evil. Please. If they're gonna break up, let it not be a scandal and a mutual breakup or something. However, I can see Keeley staying with Jack and Roy telling her he has feelings for Jamie and they hit it off pretty nicely. But that's just my shipper heart's desire. We'll see bc I don't think this show might be that bold.

I wonder how many women actually sleep with their bra on. It's the most uncomfortable thing EVER imo.

Keeley is such an excitable puppy. Just like Jamie when with Roy. :)

I'm actually surprised about Nate and Jade. Like... it's almost a complete 180? Idk, I still dislike him. I think I understand the point, be kind and and not judgemental, all of that, but I can't with him. I don't like him and his storyline. A lot of screen time was wasted on him when imo when it could've been something way more interesting.

She might as well might be a butch bi.

Laughing. Trent with his what I almost sure is an empty mug, just for the drama of it. Doesn't matter that he 'drinks' from it after. Show me liquid in there or I'm not fooled.

S1 Roy would never, and I'm proud of his development. Ted is one of his people now, isn't he? A good friend for sure. It's also very interesting for me to watch in terms of Roy's other relationships and interactions. He already went somewhat there with Jamie in Amsterdam, "I was a dick today, I'm sorry" and how he realizes that he often releases his negative emotions on Jamie "whether you deserve it or not".

Crying with laughter. Roy is ready to "talk about it", but definitely isn't ready to do THAT. It makes me feel good for getting this part of a relationship right in my fic, lmaoooo. Also, where is Higgins?

A real conflict here, hehe. Hopefully, one day, he's gonna be ready to join them and talk about it. That would be fun to watch.

Higgins summoning succeeded.

What are you doing there, Helga soft boy, with your sparkling pencil? This makes me think of that "Jamie — Jamie" thingy. Yeah, no, Roy and Jamie are in love.

This is more like a soft howling/whining :')

Babe, wake up, new reaction meme just dropped.

He sure does, but he's still repressed about it.

Trent Crimm woof'ing with a soft look on his face can be SO personal. I love him, your honor. I wonder what he'll write in his book about that. I also wonder when is Roy gonna join them. Oh, i'l watch him barking and woofing, alright. Jamie wouldn't let that go, EVER. At the same time I feel like Roy would refuse to imitate barking & they would let him just bc that's Roy. A simple "fuck you" and that's ok.

The difference in body language, wow. Love hounds though? Nate, you need to get back with Ted then. Gosh, this entire storyline is SO awkward.

I think I'm still in love with her a little bit. What a woman.

#natiswatching #ted lasso #roy x jamie #rebecca welton #trent crimm #keeley x jack #jamie tartt

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huggybug · 2 years

Note

For the fic cale would be nice for his conn smyth!

the winner takes it all - cale makar

word count: 1.0k words

okay i couldn’t help it… two mini fics because cale and nate both deserve it. this is SO short i’m sorry but it’s simple and cute and i’m gonna go cry now

“Cale Makar, you’re absolutely insane” You grin when Cale’s cheeks turn red as he laughs.“Seriously, leave something for everyone else to win”

“Stop” Cale, bashful as ever, was blushing like crazy as you praised him.

“No, you’re a super star Caley” You continue to tease him as the team and their families swarm around you. The ice is full and Cale’s been dragging you around in search of his parents who you had lost as soon as you got down here.

You finally spot Taylor who’s running towards you, tackling his brother in a hug which knocks Cale’s hand out of yours. “Champs Baby!” Taylor yells and Cale laughs.

“Cale! You’re up for an interview” Nate skates up and you hug him as Cale leaves, heading in the direction of the reporters who have been cycling through the team. “He really won it all” Nate says quietly and you nod.

Nate had always been a guy Cale’s looked up to, ever since he started playing with the Av’s and it honestly made you proud of your boyfriend when the respect became a two way thing. The two guys have sang each other’s praises all season and you can tell it’s helped Cale probably just as much as it has Nate.

“He’s gonna give you a run for your money” You teased, poking his arm and Nate laughed loudly.

“I don’t doubt that”

You found Cale’s family and excused yourself from Nate, making your way back to where everyone was waiting for your boy. The energy around you was unreal, everyone that had been waiting for this moment whether it be the wives, parents, coaching staff, and the players themselves were all basking in it. It truly was the greatest feeling.

“Ready?” You look up to see Cale with the cup, grinning from ear to ear. The photographers are apparently waiting so you all gather around him, his parents on one side and you and Taylor on the other. They snap the photos and you’re pretty sure there’s some phones taking photos as well which you’ll have to hunt down later.

The cup’s passed onto the next guy who’s patiently waiting and once again, Cale’s family falls away leaving the two of you. “Hey, I don’t know if I’ve said it yet but I’m proud of you”

The awards and accolades he’s earned this season amazed you. The Norris Trophy itself was crazy but then to go on and win the Conn Smythe and the Stanley Cup all in one season, it was an understatement to say you were proud of him.

“Only about a thousand times” Cale smiled. You were his biggest supporter, always have been and always will be, ever since you met Cale when he played at UMass and then eventually followed him to Denver.

“Well get ready because you’re going to hear it all summer” You laugh when Cale rolls his eyes with a smile.

“I can’t believe it” He says after a beat of silence, “We actually did it, we got the cup and we’re gonna get the rings” You looked up to see stars in his eyes. Cale was the league’s prized possession, the young superstar that would pave the way for the new generation of players. While you didn’t doubt that for even a second, he was more than just that. He was your Cale, the boy who just wanted to play hockey and help his team out. He was the most selfless person and hockey player who deserved it all, which he did finally get.

“You sure did” You say quietly with a soft smile. He probably wasn’t even listening to you, it happened more often than not. When there was something big that he was trying to process, he’d speak out loud but not hear any response which you found endearing. It was like something this exciting was too much for him to wrap his mind around.

“I guess it’s only fair that you get one too” You furrow your eyebrows at him when he finally looks down at you.

“I don’t think that’s how it works… I think it’s just players and coaches. Maybe staff too I guess” You were trying to remember who actually got the championship rings, looking around the ice at all the different people who contributed to this season’s success.

“Different kind of ring” Cale tugs on your hand and you look back to find him down on one knee, right there on the ice in front of everyone.

“Cale…”

“We’ve been through it all together, I’ve gotten everything I’ve ever wanted except for one thing. I want you for the rest of my life so Y/n, will you marry me?” He fumbles with the ring in his hand, tilting it so it catches the light and you can feel tears pricking at the corner of your eyes.

“Yes!” Cheers erupt and you’re suddenly aware everyone is looking at you. Luckily, you’re more in the centre of the group, blocked from the view of fans so everyone that saw the actual proposal was your friends which made it all the more special. Cale slides the ring on before getting up to kiss you, raising you off the ice and spinning around.

“How are you going to outdo this next time?” You ask him, laughing as the guys swarm you both.

“Next time?”

“Engagement for this cup win, you’ve gotta do something for the next”

“Alright let’s not get too ahead of ourselves” Cale smiles, cheeks rosier than before if that’s even possible, “Let’s just enjoy this one”

“I love you and I promise, I’m not just with you because you win all the trophies” You wink while giggling, gazing down at your new gorgeous diamond ring.

“Good to know” Cale shakes his head but the ever-present smile tells you he’s happy as ever.

#yes this is me manifesting the proposals i want #mind ur business #cale makar x reader #cale makar imagine #cale makar fic #colorado avalanche #nhl players #nhl fanfiction #hockey fic #hockey imagine

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fablesrose · 28 days

Text

Ch 16 - The Future Job

Series Rewrite Masterlist

Pairing: Eliot Spencer x Ford!Reader

Description: The team takes down a psychic after the team predicts their own future.

Words: 4301

A/n: Can I just say, Eliot looked so good this episode, I couldn't exactly find a place in the chapter to gush about it, but yeah, look up screencaps. I had so much fun writing this one, enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I didn’t know what I believed when it came to the afterlife. I did know that I thought most, if not all psychics were con artists. And this guy, our current mark, was definitely one of those con artists. Disgustingly exploiting the grief of those who have lost loved ones, leeching all of their money away, making them lose everything along with their deceased family members.

We were doing recon on his live show. It was at a local studio and cable network, surrounded by warehouses and storage lockers. Nate chose to bring Parker along with him to watch the show. Hardison was in the van with Tara doing the technical recon, and Eliot and I were doing physical background recon.

“Looks like there’s going to be a network scout from WMN in the audience today, sounds like he’s trying to go prime time,” Hardison told us after looking at Dalton Rand’s schedule.

“TV show means a control room” I commented, looking at Eliot.

“Let's go see what we can find,” he responded.

I heard Parker comment that psychics freak her out as Eliot and I wandered the halls of the studio. Rand started the show with a ‘reading’ when we found what looked to be the control room. We glanced at each other.

“Do you have the bug? Do you wanna do a solo breach? Pull the bathroom card,” I asked him.

He only took a second to think about it, “Yeah I got it, but let's do the pair stumble in.”

I looked at him skeptically, “Really?”

He nodded, “Yeah.” He then put a hand at the small of my back leading me towards the door.

I leaned against it a touch when he flipped the handle just enough for the door to open behind me. When I was supposed to pretend to stumble in, I actually tripped over my own feet causing me to fall. Luckily Eliot caught me, just like he was supposed to, though the grip he had told me he knew exactly what happened. I tried to settle my rapidly beating heart from the drop and let out what I hoped sounded like a flirty and surprised giggle. Eliot helped stand me up again, putting us further in the room in the process. The person who was watching the monitors became upset and told us to get out.

There was a camera just inside the door where the bug should be able to access everything if we could get it placed there. Eliot seemed to read my mind since as I turned to face the other man, he slipped the bug into my hand. I placed my right hand on the man’s shoulder and reached around with my left to place the bug. I profusely apologized to him as Eliot pulled me back out of the room by my waist.

Once the door was closed, his hands stayed there a few moments longer than necessary before they dropped off. I let out a shuttered breath though I couldn’t decide if it was from the release of adrenaline from my almost-fall or because of his touch.

“Nice catch,” I said once I turned to face him.

He nodded, “Of course. Nice job getting that bug in there,” he replied.

I raised my hand for a high five which he completed when we heard Nate bring Rand’s attention to himself in the studio. We made our way back over there when Rand did a reading on Parker, seeming to identify that her brother died in an accident and that Parker blamed herself for it.

Parker dashed off the stage, brushing past us when she bolted out the door.

We only caught up with her when we got back to Nate’s apartment. She was sitting on the floor of the living room, her back against the couch. It was clear she had been crying.

“Parker?” Nate asked when he approached her.

We all sat down in the living room around her, waiting for her to say something.

“There’s no way he could have known that stuff,” she said quietly. “I’ve never told anyone, no one, ever.”

“Parker, he didn’t know anything,” Nate said.

“No Nate,” she said clearer, “you said we’d find a trick up his sleeve. You said we’d find a trick. Well, we didn’t find a trick, did we? He knew things. He’s really psychic.”

“He’s not a psychic, Parker,” I said, my hand tentatively on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

“He’s just a con man,” Eliot added.

“He just did a cold read on you, that’s all,” Nate said.

“He just asked questions and used your answers to guide him,” Tara explained.

“But I didn’t say anything,” Parker replied, her voice cracking.

“You didn’t have to,” Nate said. “Can I show you something?” He nodded at Hardison.

Hardison pulled up the video from the studio that he was able to get by using the bug Eliot and I placed to hack into all of their video feeds and cameras. The screen showed Parker when Rand began his reading.

“Right there,” Nate pointed when her face twitched on the screen. “Do you remember when he asked you, ‘this energy that I’m getting, does it have anything to do with you father?’ Remember? Well you furrowed your eyebrow, you might as well have told him, no.”

“And when he keyed in on your brother,” Tara took over, “your eyes widened, just slightly. He knew he was on the right track.”

“He just guessed Parker,” Hardison said gently, “he got a hit when he said that you were both very young and he just went with the odds. An accident of some kind.”

“But he knew about the bicycle,” Parker pointed out tearfully.

“Not at first,” I said, remembering the exchange.

“What happened was,” Nate elaborated, “he said wheels, and then he moved on and said skateboard, you told him about the bicycle.”

“No, I didn't say anything,” she insisted.

“You had a certain tell, Parker,” Nate continued. “Your mouth opened, just a little bit. Just enough to register your surprise. Then, he just guessed.”

The screen was showing everything that Nate was pointing out on the video.

“He used all of these things during the reading,” Tara said, “How your breathing changed, if your shoulders were raised or slouched, how you were holding your hands, if your lips were pursed.”

“What about other people in the audience? He knew names and relationships,” Parker asked more calmly as if she was starting to get it.

“Yeah, the hot read,” Nate called it. “What he does is he researches before the show, gets himself armed with as much information as possible to help him with the readings. It’s really not that much different than what we do.”

“But he doesn’t know who’s going to be in the audience ahead of time.”

“Well, no, he doesn’t. He doesn’t know until they’re there. He’s got cameras all over the place hoping to pick up something, hear something that’s going to help him in the readings.”

“He also has a plan, he has an assistant who stands in line and pretends to be part of the audience,” Tara added.

“That person feeds him the information about the readings in his ear using earbuds just like we do,” Nate continued.

Hardison pulled up some of the data he pulled from the studio on the screen, “He’s got dozens of hidden cameras and the bug that Eliot and Y/n planted in the control room, I’ve got audio feeds off of twenty hidden microphones taped to the chairs in the audience. I’ve got names, people they want to contact, dates.”

“And that, is what Rand has hidden up his sleeve,” Nate concluded.

“So what do we do now?” Tara asked.

“Cut off his arms,” Parker answered. “And his head. Yeah. I wanna kill him. Can we make that happen?”

There was a beat of silence before Eliot answered, “Yeah, I can…I mean, I could…”

“Or we can give him exactly what he wants,” Nate countered. “Make the world think he is the greatest psychic who ever lived, and then in front of the network and his audience, we destroy him.”

I glanced down at Parker to see she was smiling, pleased with the idea.

“How do we do that?” Eliot asked.

“We go and steal the future,” Nate answered cryptically.

Tara posed as a hippie psychic woman who was helping people out of a coffee shop. And the kicker was, she didn’t charge anything, so when Rand heard that some of his clients canceled because of her, he came to check it out.

“How may the spirits serve you today?” Tara asked when he approached the outdoor table where she sat.

“Maybe they can explain why you keep poaching my clients,” he responded.

“I must apologize Mr. Rand, it’s true I’ve had more visitors lately, but I had no idea it was at your expense. I’m Bethany, Bethany Noble.”

“The outfit is a little on the nose, but other than that, I find your shtick amusing.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Working out of a coffee shop? No neon lights, no taro cards or ouija boards. So what’s your story? You got me curious.”

“Two years ago I was diagnosed with a brain tumor,” Tara answered. “The doctors removed it, but ever since… I guess you could say I was twice blessed. With renewed life, and with this gift.”

“You’re serious.”

There was a pause before Tara said, “Feel the scar?”

“Alright then, tell me something only the spirits would know. Tell me about my father, how he died.”

Around the corner of the coffee shop, the rest of us were listening.

“Don’t worry, I’ve got you girl,” Hardison replied as he frantically searched up how his father supposedly died.

“Wait, we didn’t give her that scar did we?” Eliot asked.

“No, we did not,” Nate answered.

After a bit of searching, Tara answered Rand, “Well I could channel your father Mr. Rand, but that might be difficult seeing as he’s still alive. Indiana, isn’t it? Do you still have the prayer book he gave you?” There was a pause before she asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Just felt something.”

“Nate had me rig the table with a mild electrical current,” Hardison smiled, showing us the remote.

“You electrocuted him?” Eliot asked.

“Yes I did, it helps sell the bit,” Nate replied.

“I approve,” Parker said with a solemn nod of her head.

“Thanks Parker.”

“No, her agreeing with you is not a good thing,” Eliot insisted.

I had been biting my lip to keep myself from smiling, but at this the laughter bubbled out of me, “Well I think it’s hilarious. What does my agreement mean, Eliot?”

He looked at me for a moment before shaking his head. Nate then turned to the both of us with a quiet thanks and slight wink.

Rand wasn’t convinced with Tara’s answer, still insisting that she tell him what the spirits say about him.

“You want to know your future,” Tara deduced. After a moment of her collecting her thoughts, she started to ‘predict’ his future: “They’re calling you by a different name. Do you know the way Jose?”

“What?” Rand asked.

“They say Jose doesn’t pay his tickets, and it’ll burn him. Don’t ask the officer for help, he has his own problems, but don’t worry, you’re the life of the party, so celebrate. And bring extra cash because you won’t have enough. A day late, a dollar short, and if you don’t look both ways, you’ll never live to see tomorrow.”

“Okay, I think I’ve heard enough.” Rand stopped the reading, “Lady, I love your act, I really do, and I wish you all the best with it. This is my turf, stay off it.” It sounded like he left the table and entered the coffee shop.

I pushed myself off of the van where I was leaning, “Well, let’s get this party started.” I walked around the corner to the coffee shop and carefully replaced the paper cup that had Rand’s name on it with one that had Jose instead, fulfilling Tara’s prophecy that he would be called by a different name: Jose.

Meanwhile, Eliot was hooking up Rand’s car to the tow truck he got his hands on, pulling away once Rand came out of the shop. This fulfilled her saying that Jose doesn’t pay his tickets. Parker swiped his wallet so he wouldn’t have cash for his dinner later. Earlier, Hardison and I replaced a bunch of fortunes in fortune cookies to say ‘you’re the life of the party, so celebrate’ to fulfill that part. Hardison also hacked Rand’s scheduling records and discovered one of his new clients for that day would be a police officer. And finally, much to his delight, Nate nearly drove Rand over, making sure he looked both ways.

The next day, Rand was waiting for Tara to return to the coffee shop and begged her to work for him. She gave him a decent fight, saying that she needed to share her gift and not con people, but he eventually persuaded her because of her supposed financial needs from the medical expenses and the promise that it would be temporary.

So far, we had him on the hook. He wanted to do a trial run of Tara talking to him behind the scenes, telling him info from the control room. So, we went to work. Hardison was pulling information in time, Parker was stealing wallets (and returning them) to get names, and Eliot and I were on parking lot duty to see what we could find from their cars. We were running across the parking lot between readings with Hardison furiously clacking on his computer in our ears, trying to pull any and all information we could find.

It seemed to pay off though. Rand was impressed with the results. He walked Tara out of the building towards her car, thinking out loud about the future of his show with her in it when a van pulled up quickly behind them.

“Tara, you’ve got company,” Eliot warned, but it wasn’t enough when four guys hopped out, put a black hood over Rand’s head and started to pull him into the van.

Tara started fighting them off, though it was clear they weren’t there for her. Eliot ran to help yelling at me to stay where I was while he fought the guys off. When he scared them off enough for him to check if Tara was okay, they drove away with Rand in the back.

“Any theories?” Nate asked once we all got back.

“Maybe someone didn’t like one of their ‘psychic readings,’” Eliot answered.

“Maybe someone liked it too much,” Nate countered.

“What do you mean?” Parker asked.

“Rand told me it was the best show he ever did,” Tara said.

“Now, everyone was there to talk to the dead except that woman at the end,” Nate began. “Why was she there?”

“Her husband,” Tara answered, “She thinks he’s cheating on her.”

“How did you know that?” Hardison asked. “All I said was she hired a private investigator.”

“A married woman in her forties? She’s not looking for the maltese falcon.”

“What do we know about this husband?” Nate steered us back.

Hardison began with facial recognition scanning the guy she came with, “Nickolas Kusen. Age forty four, he did time in Riverview a few years back for armed robbery.”

“One of the thugs that tried to grab her had a prison tattoo,” Eliot commented.

“So what, Kusen has a secret and he’s gonna kill Rand so he doesn’t reveal it?” Parker asked. “That’d be good.”

“No, if you wanna kill someone, you don’t go out and throw them in a van,” Eliot said. “You don’t get out of your seat.”

“Okay, Kusen needs Rand for his ‘psychic’ abilities. That’s why he’s being so secretive around his wife,” Nate said.

“So let me get this straight, we did such a good job of convincing people Rand was a psychic that we got him kidnapped?” I concluded from what everyone was saying. I raised my hand, “uh, high fives I guess, good job guys.”

Eliot and Parker were the only ones to give me a high five.

“Which means we have to find him, rescue him, and then, you know, take him down,” Nate continued. “Let’s go to work.”

Hardison got to work tracking the van and he was able to track the route they took. Tara and I were searching through Kusen’s financials to get any clue as to what was going on or what he wanted.

“Give me some good news on the financials,” Nate said.

“They are all over the place,” Tara replied, lifting papers. “It’s hard to get a clear picture, must be a cash heavy operation. Probably import, export.”

Eliot and Parker then walked in from checking out some sites connected to Kusen and his business.

“You know that body shop Kusen pays property taxes on?” Parker asked.

“Let me guess, not a body shop?” I answered absentmindedly, looking over more paperwork and business addresses.

“It’s a parking lot,” Eliot said.

“Guys,” Hardison said, pulling our attention, “I managed to track them as far as Tremont before I lost them, but they’re definitely somewhere on the north end. If I were to guess, I’d say-”

“Somewhere in the north?” I interrupted, flipping through papers trying to find one that stood out to me. I finally pulled a single page, “I think I’ve got an address.”

After some discussion and some more research surrounding the place I found, it was determined that it was a very likely option and worth checking out. Eliot accompanied Tara to the warehouse, staying just outside in case she needed help. The rest of us were in the van, monitoring the situation.

Once Tara revealed herself both to Kusen and as a psychic, Kusen welcomed her and layed out what he needed from them. Ultimately, his partner from the bank robbery hid the money and died before revealing where it was. Kusen wanted Rand and Tara to show him where it was.

“Well at least he’s not cheating on his wife,” Parker commented.

Hardison pulled up some documents, “I found his ex partner, Cesar Broncato. His name was on the lease for the body shop Kusen supposedly owned.”

“Okay,” Nate said, “This guy wants a bag of money, let’s get him a bag of money. Everybody, listen up.”

He then explained the plan. Nate left to buy a storage unit. Hardison found Broncato’s car, or more accurately, one that could pass as it. Parker planted evidence in the car, a fake registration that we wrinkled up and sanded to look old and the storage locker key. Tara gently led Kusen along, to the car and then to the storage locker facility.

From there, we needed more time to get the storage unit set up, so Tara stalled with a lost connection to the spirit realm and Nate posed as the facilities employee, taking some time to check the records to ‘find the right storage unit.’

Meanwhile, Parker, Hardison, Eliot, and I were moving boxes into the storage unit.

“We need more boxes,” Hardison said.

I looked around the room with the walls covered and boxes stacked three or four high, “Really? This seems about right.”

“We need a lot of luck,” Parker countered.

“Yeah, well I think we used all our luck on finding this place,” Eliot said.

“Hold on,” Hardison said as he put duct tape on the back wall, “It ain’t luck, okay? Finding the perfect place to end a treasure hunt is a testament to my intellectual prowess.”

Eliot looked at him for a second before deliberately dropping a box on Hardison’s foot.

“Ow!”

Parker and I huffed a laugh.

“What?” Eliot asked, “It’s baby clothes.”

“It says books, man!” Hardison said.

“Does it?”

We finished up the storage unit and locked it up behind us, hoping he wouldn’t notice the lack of dust. We gave Nate the all clear and he finally told Kusen which storage unit.

Kusen and his goons tore up some boxes, trying to find the money when he finally pointed his gun at Rand again, “What’s your crystal ball say now?”

“I don’t know,” Rand replied.

“You better go into a trance or something, whatever it is you do, because I’m fresh out of patience!”

“I’m not psychic,” Rand blurted out. “I can’t. I can’t communicate with the dead. It’s all fake.”

“I think you’re holding out on me,” Kusen said. “I think you know where the money is, you just want it for yourself!”

“No! It’s not- listen to me, my studio is wired up with microphones and cameras and I make it look like I’m a psychic, but I’m not! You know, I cold read people! Yeah, I ask them questions, I look at their reactions, that’s all I do,” he became more frantic as he went on until he finally said, “It’s a scam! Okay? I’ve been running it for years!”

“Have to say guys,” Tara said as she closed the door, locking them in, “I totally saw this one coming.”

I laughed at her turn of phrase. Hardison blew a hole in the wall where he was putting the duct tape and made a makeshift door into Rand’s studio. Rand and Kusen walked through to find a whole audience watching footage of his confession on repeat, courtesy of the cameras and microphones we planted in the storage unit and linked with the studio broadcast systems.

The audience was mortified, finding the microphones hiding under their seats. The cops came in and arrested the both of them, and we were there waiting outside to watch them be placed in the cop car.

“He who sells miracles will have the devil knocking at his door,” Hardison said.

“What is that, a Proverb?” Parker asked.

“Fortune cookie,” Hardison corrected.

“What?”

“We read a bunch of them when we replaced the fortunes with ‘you’re the life of the party, so celebrate,’” I explained.

“They do make a cute pair, don’t they?” Tara said about the crooks.

“Lets see,” Nate said, “We’ve got assault, kidnapping, and burglary for our friend Kusen, and garden variety fraud for our psychic friend Dalton Rand… Any way we can get them in the same prison?”

“That can be arranged,” Hardison confirmed.

“Let’s go,” Eliot said, his head resting on his arm leaning out of the driver side window of the van.

We pushed ourselves up from leaning against the van and made our way around to get in.

Along the way I grabbed his arm teasingly, “Relax, we’ll get home in time for dinner.”

He grunted at me, “I just wanna get home.”

“I know.”

It wasn’t long before we could meet with the clients, see how they were doing. Originally, a man came in worried about his pregnant sister who had lost her husband. She was the one throwing everything she had into Rand’s lap to talk to her husband. This time, they were both at the table.

“It’s okay, Jodie,” the brother consoled.

“I’m sorry, I’m just so embarrassed,” she confessed.

“Don’t be,” Nate reassured next to me, “Dalton Rand is a con artist. He took advantage of hundreds of people, maybe thousands.”

“Now he’s heading to jail,” Tara said, “he can’t do it to anyone else.”

“There was a part of me who knew it wasn’t real,” Jodie said. “But I didn’t care. I just missed Mike so much, I wanted to see him again so bad.”

“You will see him again,” Nate said. I couldn’t help but look at him, wondering what he meant. “Maybe it’ll be a look, or maybe it’ll be a gesture,” he looked towards Jodie’s pregnant belly, making his point, “maybe it’ll be the way he spreads peanut butter on a slice of bread. But when you see it, you’ll know, that’s Mike. Do you wanna know how I know?” Nate placed a hand on my knee, “I know because I see my brother and his wife in my niece so frequently, that sometimes I forget that they’re gone. And you know what? That’s a miracle no one could ever sell you.”

Jodie placed a hand on her stomach, on her baby and said, “Thank you Mr. Ford.”

At their touched expression, I placed my hand on Nate’s, lifting it up enough for me to hold and squeeze. He gave a squeeze back as the woman and her brother stood to leave the pub.

“Now I see why you do it,” Tara whispered.

We watched as Parker stopped the brother right before he walked out the door and handed him an envelope with money in it equaling the amount Rand took from Jodie. He wrapped Parker into a tight hug. Parker had a very touched expression on her face, even if I could see that she wasn’t expecting the affectionate gesture.

I turned to Nate, “Do you really see mom and dad in me?”

“Almost everyday.”

“You don’t talk about them much.” It wasn’t an accusation, or even a suggestion, just an observation I had made. I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to talk about them more. It wasn’t a taboo subject between us. I had asked him about them often when I was younger, and even if he didn’t answer right away, he did always answer eventually. I guess I hadn’t really thought about it lately. I missed them sometimes, but I had come to terms with the fact that Nate and I were family, and that was enough.

Nate squeezed my hand one last time as I was contemplating this before answering with a simple, “I know.”

A/n: Reblogs and comments are welcome and encouraged! Thank you for reading!

Tags: @instantdinosaurtidalwave @kniselle @technikerin23 @kiwikitty13 @plasticbottleholder

#eliot spencer x reader #eliot spencer #leverage #rewrite #slow burn #multichapter #nate ford #sophie devereaux #alec hardison #parker #ford!reader

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 1 year

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i feel like people ascribe a certain coldness and calculation to shiv’s end of the failmarriage, and like, yeah she’s selfish and self-centered and wants someone around with no real needs of his own etc., and asking for an open relationship on your wedding night is deranged and terrible behavior, but also, she didn’t have to fess up about nate, you know? tom wasn’t going to call her on her obvious lie, because he is as much of a pushover as she wants him to be in many ways, and i think she knew that, or at least suspected it enough that it wasn’t like she was afraid of being confronted. i dunno. by chance of timing my rewatch hit 1x10 right after the season 4 premier and shiv’s big speech about love made me cry because that is what love has been to her, her whole life, and because she’s so fucked up about love that i think she does love tom as much as she can love anyone (as much as anyone can love anyone when you’re allergic to your own feelings), and because she’s doing two things in that scene. the one we remember is the most obvious, which is that she is, again, asking tom for an open relationship on her wedding night. but the other thing is that she is being, i think, as honest and vulnerable and human and genuine as she has been… ever? in the show? i can’t think of another scene where she comes close. everything she says in that scene is something she completely means, and tries not to think about. and when she tells tom “i fucking love you,” it’s maybe the one moment in the series where it really feels like she does. and then, you know, she takes her open relationship and uses it to run away from having to have so much of her poured into one person, which i think is really what her allergy to monogamy is about, and meanwhile tom doesn’t respond in kind (for, i think, understandable reasons) until the next season finale, which like maybe could have salvaged their relationship in the long run if this had been their ONLY problem which it is manifestly not, but. i dunno. just really still having failmarriage feelings i guess. tomshiv is very sad for tom in terms of what shiv does to him, but it’s sad for shiv to me in terms of what her parents have done to her and how totally incapable she is of something that i actually do think on some level a part of her genuinely wants. they both did want this to work and it didn’t! human emotions! hand in unloveable hand!

#succession #show of all shows #if you’d told me back when tom was marrying a woman obviously cheating on him #that i would find their divorce devastating and weirdly romantic #this show rearranged my neurons

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radiokathryn-if · 6 months

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Okay, okay- scenario time!

What if the ROs were alone with an MC who kept alternating between calling out Nates shitty actions and not feeding his need for attention, and MC just... broke down completely, sobbing about how they miss Nate.

Because even if he isn't like when they were kids, he was their friend once goddammit! They knew Nate would never act like when they were kids again, but now he's actually not here at all, and even the ghost of the boy they were neighbours with once is gone. Just, MC is full on sobbing, crying about the person they once knew being completely gone.

How would the ROs react? Would it be different for those that never knew Nate, those that only knew Nate after he completely changed, and those that have at least seen a glimpse of the Nate MC once knew? Would it be different if MC had told stories about Nate before he became... this version of Nate? If it's too spoilery or something we can experience in-game, you don't have to answer!

thats so heartbreaking for MC! I have a plan to explore MCs feelings towards Nate (in general, not just a romanced Nate) during the actual IF so i shall give a non-answer for now!

The ROs definitely feel different about Nate when they know who he was and who he could've been──but i think a lot of opinions will change when The Secrets are revealed.

#radio kathryn if #c: nate nicks

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beepsparks · 24 hours

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Okay. Imagine the YDKJ hosts (you can count Bob in, if you want) but their personalities are the complete opposites of what you HC them to be

1:06 am, 4/28/2024

Ooh now this would make for an interesting AU idea…. Might actually doodle this at some point

This is long as hell… wee

Guy would have the most obvious and craziest change, being that he’d be WAY more unfriendly, mean, and possibly angry with just a TOUCH of maybe.. lazy (considering it’s usually hard to get Guy to actually be angry over something and not just his usual reaction to being upset, where in the games which seems to be just CRYING OVER IT), so uh, try to avoid him. You don’t want a man that could snap you in half to be angry at you!!

Now one may assume I’m gonna make Schmitty overly nice, but he IS a nice man given the chance, he’s just grumpy at times and has anger issues, so I’d say if his personality was swapped, he’d probably become hyperactive. Since I normally see him as somewhat calm and a tiny bit laid back (idk sometimes it’s hard to figure out people’s personalities for me diebjebr), if Schmitty’s personality was swapped, he would act like he’s just had 10 cups of coffee and he could fight god, probably pisses off Guy a lot. Also he’d probably talk like that one line in YDKJ TV where Schmitty tries to mimic that really fast commercial voice you hear all the time in TV ads. Also since this is the host of QUIPLASH I guess I should mention his humor, normally Schmitty would laugh at dumb jokes, but if his personality was swapped, you gotta tell him the most clever, well-thought-out joke in all of mankind or else he’ll suddenly stop and stare at you like you did something really weird.

Nate would probably be all “I don’t care anymore”, wouldn’t bother to get himself ready for anything and probably shows disinterest in basically everything (when normally Nate would at least TRY to look energized or something), try to talk to him about ANYTHING and he’d probably be IGNORING whatever you’re saying. Idk tho, again it’s hard for me to EXACTLY catch onto character personalities lol.

Buzz is a difficult one… I know for one thing, he’d probably be way more reserved about his interests and may even attempt to hide them. Maybe he’d be quicker to snap if someone wasn’t treating him right rather than bottle it up and THEN snap? Now this is more based on my experience playing volume 2, but personality-swapped Buzz would probably be a little more mean, too (since he doesn’t even try to insult me in that game tbh). Not sure how his self esteem would be, though… he could either think he’s better than all of the hosts, or he could think he’s the worst host in history. Maybe he swaps between the two constantly, who knows.

Cookie I tend to imagine as a man who’s ego is through the roof, and he’s willing to verbally kick people down in order to keep that confidence. (Idk if that counts as a personality trait tho) So if Cookie’s personality was swapped, this man would be absolutely pathetic and think he’s awful at everything. Also since he hosts Fibbage, I suppose another thing is that he’d be an awful liar. Also he’s probably way less unhinged than normal Cookie is. Despite I’ve seen a lot of Cookie clips, his personality, like the others, can be pretty complex so it’s hard for me to exactly hit the mark lol.

I suppose I’ll throw in Bob bc why not, even if I don’t know much about him or his personality yet… probably doesn’t try too much, either, doesn’t like bright colors, and likely is into REALLY OLD STUFF rather than whatever aesthetic he’s got going on + “whatever the kids seem to like these days so I look more relatable and entertaining”

#they’re all my interesting little goobers and I might make this an au #ydkj #you don’t know jack #jackbox games #guy towers #josh schmitty schmitstinstein #schmitty #nate shapiro #buzz lippman #cookie masterson #bob headrush

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cheemken · 8 months

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Alright I know we were just talking about a brand new AU but my mind immediately went to another AU idea, just cause the AU was about being transported to a new world

What if the Champions all got transported to versions of their world where the Villain Team won?

Cause like, I imagine some of the worlds having rebellions against those Villain Teams, like Unova, Kalos, Hoenn, Kanto, and Johto. Pretty much the regions where they aren’t all dead like Sinnoh and potentially Galar and Alola/ain’t rebelling against an actual evil team like Paldea

But like I also what to maximize the potential angst and have people like Iris, Diantha, and Lance be dead in those alternative universes but still have family/friends who are alive

Cause imagine seeing your daughter die in a fight or smth years ago and now she just suddenly appeared all confused about what’s happening. Drasna was probably weary at first but after realizing it’s not a trick she immediately pulled Dia close and comforted her, trying (and failing) not to cry. She can ask questions later about how she’s here and not six feet under where she was buried

And like Clair probably cried so fucking much when she realized Lance was back, even if it wasn’t their Lance. She’s just happy her cousin parental figure is back. And compared to Dia and Drasna it had Lance comforting Clair about how he’s okay and such. Ough Silver probably cried just as hard but also tried to hide it

OUGH what if Iris died young? Like she became Champion at 12 so what if Neo Plasma Ghetsis killed her at 13-15?? And like I’m taking inspiration from a fic I read but imagine she got killed on live tv? Either hanged or shot. Like she finally got captured by Neo Plasma and was executed on live tv to show Team Plasmas power. Cause if they can kill the Champion and her Pokémon then they could kill anyone

Like these mfs crucified the gym leaders in front of N’s castle in the manga, I think they’d be fine with murdering a teenager on tv for everyone in the world to see the power they had

But the direction I was going was that she died young, and people like Drayden wished they could’ve seen her grow up like she was supposed to. Seen the kind of person she ended up being. But now Iris, fresh in her twenties, suddenly appears where the Unovan rebellion is. When she’s been dead for years. But ough yeah after the initial shock it’s just Drayden holding Iris close and telling her how big she’s grown and that he’s so proud of her. Something he wishes he could still do. Ough your honour that’s his granddaughter

Fuck imagine when the news spread, the Unova kids are gonna be there right away to see Iris again. Gon be a shit ton of crying and yelling about the fact an Iris from another world got sent here, a world where she and the rest of the League won

I honestly don’t know much about the Kalos, Kanto, and Johto stories so idk what change happened for the Leagues to lose, but for Unova ig it changed when Nate/Rosa died to Kyurem during the Ghetsis battle

Also idk if this makes much sense to you and I tried to word it clearly but it’s like 2:40am when I finished this and just wanted to write down my thoughts before I go to sleep

^me, reading that btw

MFER THIS HURT ME HAHAHAH LIKE CHDMCBMDND OUGH IRIS BIT FUCKING GOT ME MAN WHAT THE FUCK😭😭

Can you imagine being Drayden tho, having to watch your granddaughter die on live TV all those years ago, and suddenly she's alive, suddenly she's here, suddenly she's grown up, suddenly everything feels so overwhelming. Can you fucking imagine tho as Drayden was hugging her, pulling her closer to him, afraid that Plasma was going to kill her again, he's there thinking about how in this Iris' universe he didn't miss how Iris grew up, how she became the person she is now. And it fucked him up so much, tearing up even more, that even w that thought, it never gave him some sort of closure as this Iris wasn't his Iris, but Arc, for a moment, he wanted to believe she was, just for a moment, just for a moment let him be with his granddaughter again

And ough the Unova kids FUCKING SHIT😭😭😭😭

YOUR HONOUR PLEASE HILBERT AND IRIS REUNION IM GOING FUCKING INSANE CNSMCNDMND

Can you imagine cndmfnd can you fucking imagine Hilbert just tackling Iris to the ground, crying his heart out, not letting her go as the other kids went in to rush to her too, and just chmdnfnd ough just Hilbert burying his face on her hair, pulling her closer, his choked sobs the only thing she hears despite the chaos of the others being there w her too, and she's just cjmdnd just wrapping her arms around him, her own tears falling now too

God your honour they just make me so so fucking ill

Imagine the other kids asking her how they won against Plasma tho, what did they do specifically that they, the ones in this Iris' universe, succeeded, while they failed. And idk what would be the difference but maybe there is that one key thing that Iris and her friends did that managed to one up Plasma, maybe Iris got to Kyurem before Ghetsis, either way, they really can't change what happened in their universe now. Also imagine them telling Iris how she died in their universe tho, fucking imagine that fucking her up too cause Plasma really killed a child.

And ough Lance and his fam too cjdmdbdj man Clair would not let go of him anymore bet hahaha like homegirl saw her cousin, who's basically her brother at this point and parental figure, die before her eyes and now he's here again and she's not gonna let him go, not anymore, she's not gonna let him die again and just cbmdnd ough Lance pulling Clair close to him, rubbing circles on her back, telling her that "I'm here, I'm here, it's okay.. I'm not going anywhere, I promise." And Clair just cried harder cause that's what Lance always tells her back then when she's feeling down, and it's been years yknow, and suddenly she hears him saying that again fucking broke her

Silver's there trying real ass hard not to cry, but then Lance looks at him, worried as he opened his arms, and Silver rushed and crashed on them, holding both them close, still trying to hold in his tears. But ough cbxnxb Lance just kisses the top of his head, telling him that it's okay to cry, it's okay, "I'm here now, it's okay.."

Then Dia and Drasna pls your honour I'm being plagued by thoughts abt them in the toh au now this and just cbmdnd😭😭

Man Drasna's also not letting Dia go hahah and like yknow, Drasna's just fucking vibing bc her daughter is back, she's back and alive and well and not a single scratch on her and she's just so happy to see her again bcmdnd imagine Drasna cupping Dia's cheeks, her hands were trembling, voice wracked w tears, as she gently bumped their foreheads together, smth she always did w her kids when they were younger, and she's there softly caressing Dia's cheeks, whispering mostly to herself, "oh, my dear girl.. my darling Diantha.. you're back home.. you're finally back home to me.."

And Dia could only nod, her own tears falling down her face, hands on Drasna's wrist, running her thumbs along Drasna's wrist trying to calm her down, her own voice wavered, "I'm home.."

#your honour the thoughts arw plaguing me and i still have a research synthesis to do😭#but ough this broke me holy shit cbdmnxjd hahahah #ik theres more for the other champions cyn and leon especially but like #yeah yall know my top three hahahah #but jesus cjmdbcmdndmd #iris' bit really fucked me up im ngl hahah #idk man i think its bc i was close w my grandfather too and ough cnmdnd drayden kinda reminds me of him #hes so brave and hes my hero hes so fuckin cool man i miss him #but like cndmdn ough yeah iris' bit was so dope but yeah i have to like recover from it owo hahahah #pokemon au #pokemon champions #an ask and an answer #jerseyk112 #rebellion au

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super-unpredictable98 · 1 year

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A Royal Spooky Fuck Up | Misfits Timeline Anomaly’ verse

An oc x oc collaboration between @seanfalco & @super-unpredictable98

Word Count: 4,7k

Warnings: Strong language, ghost stuff, mention of death

a/n: Soooo we ended up forgetting to tell you guys something lol we thought it was pretty dehumanizing to call each of the Nathans "Lyddie's Nathan" or "Win's Nathan" so we gave them nicknames. Lyddie's Nathan is now Nate and Win's Nathan is Nats. Hope it's not confusing and that you enjoy our second quad adventure for the @sheehalloween

(Masterlist)

The year was 2022, life was just starting to look normal again, as normal as it gets. It was the end of a long eight show week in Six, where Lydia had been playing Anne Boleyn for a few months and she was rewatching The Crown.

"Oh my God," she sobbed. No matter how many times she watched the scene where King George VI was found in his bed, she always cried. "And she wasn't there, Elizabeth wasn't there!"

"I thought you were anti-monarchy?" Win said as she walked through the living room to find her wife in tears in front of the telly.

"I am! I'm very anti-monarchy, I'm practically an anarchist," she wiped her tears with her sleeve. "I mean, King George got us through World War II, he was a great person. It's just a hobby, but I don't support it, our money pays for their luxury while everyone is struggling with the energy bills... horrific!"

"Yeah, no kidding, it's disgustin'," Winnie scoffed, though she plopped down next to Lydia on the couch.

"Oh shit! Did yeh hear?" Nats cried, skidding into the room.

"Hear what?" Win asked, frowning at him.

"We just saw it online, the Queen kicked th'bucket," Nate tilted his head seeing his wife's red puffy eyes. "Oh shit, bad time?"

"THE QUEEN DIED?" Lyddie screamed. "She was okay a couple days ago! What happened? She can't just die! What the fuck? Out of nowhere?"

"Well, not exactly out of nowhere, love, the woman was nearin' 100..." he murmured.

"So much for anti-monarchy," Win grumbled, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, she was good and old, one foot in th'grave an all, y'know? People have been waiting for this for a while..." Nats added.

"Everybody knows you can be a republican and still like the Queen! It's the Queen! The only one I've ever known, the only one my parents ever knew..." Lydia tried to work through the shock. "And what's the alternative? Carrot finger Dumbo and his mistress?"

"Th'alternative? Uh, I dunno, abolish th'whole bloody monarchy?" Win muttered.

"Don't know if y'know Lyds, but um- back in Ireland we're not her biggest fans," Nate sat down, stroking her back. "Pretty sure the chants in the streets now are Lizzie's in a box... but we're all here, we love ya."

"Yeah, course we love yeh. It's gunna be okay," Nats assured, sitting down on her other side.

"They've been here forever, they're not going anywhere," Lydia clung to Nats. "Oh no! The corgis..."

"The corgis will be fine," Nate murmured. "I think you're still gettin' over Betty White and Sond-"

"Don't say Sondheim or I'll cry..." she breathed, nearly a whisper. "I was gonna meet the Queen next month, the Royal Variety Performance."

"Maybe we should turn off Th'Crown," Win suggested, grabbing the remote and turning off the television while the boys comforted her.

"Hey, would it make y'feel better if we tried t'conjure th'Queen?" Nats exclaimed, snapping his fingers as he thought of it.

"You're gonna... conjure Queen Elizabeth? Won't she be angry at us? I mean, our flat is a dump next to her lavatory, let alone the rest of her palace," Lydia pouted.

"Well then guess you'll just meet the new King and Queen when you're singin' next month..." Nate teased.

"Queen consort! Camilla could never! And the new King is a self-proclaimed tampon, no way! I wanna meet the OG."

“Well, maybe we won’t conjure her physically,” Nats mused, tapping his bottom lip in thought. “What if we used an ouija board just t’talk to her?”

“How would you even know if you were actually talking to Queen Elizabeth?” Win snorted.

"We ask? Ghosts don't really have a reason to lie, do they?" Lydia watched as Nate made her a neon pink board.

"I guess that one time Jamie just omitted the fact that he was dead... he didn't lie," he sighed heavily.

“Or if they’re evil spirits,” Win said, pitching her voice low for effect while wigging her fingers ominously.

"Don't be silly... we can all see ghosts, if there were evil spirits roaming around I think we'd know. The ghosts we see are the ones we attract," Lyddie scoffed, trying not to think too much about that possibility.

“Serve yourselves then,” she shrugged.

“Aw c’mon, Winnie, at least come out your fingers on th’plancette,” Nats said, gesturing for her to join them around the coffee table.

"Please stay with us, just... don't move it around on purpose," Lydia asked, somewhat scared of what could happen. She didn't wanna end up like the Exorcist girl or another stupid child who misused the board.

"She wouldn't do that, it's okay, none of us would... maybe me, but I'm givin' you my word," Nate assured.

“I promise I won’t take th’piss,” Winnie said, holding her hand up solemnly before grinning at her wife and placing her fingers on the edge of the planchette. “So, how d’we start this thing?” she asked, looking at Nate.

"Oh, this is exciting, it's like The Craft... only hopefully with a better ending," Lydia cleared her throat before closing her eyes.

"When you're done don't forget t'say goodbye," Nate warned. "Okay okay. Hello spirits," she nodded and he covered his mouth not to laugh. "We are holding this seance to reach a very special person, we hope you all understand. Only positive energies are allowed in this circle and we humbly ask Queen Elizabeth Alexandra Mary of Windsor to come forward."

For a long moment, nothing happened, and the four of them held their breaths, their fingers trembling on the planchette, but it didn’t move.

"I guess I should explain... your majesty, I'm Lydia Young, I was about to perform in the royal variety show with my wife Win. My Irish husbands are here too, but no hard feelings."

"Well, some hard feelin's, my family... sorry we can talk politics later, Lizzie," Nate shook his head just as the planchette moved to hello.

Win’s brows rose and she nearly pulled her hands away. “Holy fu—“ she breathed. “It’s actually moving.”

“Ask her somethin’ else, Lyds!” Nats urged, excitement coursing through him. He half wondered if it was only working because of his and his twin's medium powers.

"Um... your majesty, did you attend your son's second wedding reception wearing white as retaliation for when Camilla wore white to his first wedding?" Lydia asked.

"Seriously? That's your question?" Nate chuckled and for a long time, nothing happened again.

“Did we lose her?” Win wondered aloud, watching the board for any tremble of movement.

Instead of drifting towards the yes or no, the planchette vibrated slightly before moving to the letter S.

"S? what does that mean? I, M..." Nate watched it in confusion.

"Simon? Why is she talking about him?" Lydia felt another shiver, but instead of excitement, this time it was fear.

"Guys, I don't think we're talkin' to th'dear departed Queen," Winnie whispered, her mouth going dry. She wanted to pull her hands away or yank the planchette to the 'goodbye' scrawled in the corner, but she couldn't move.

"Oh well, I think we have the wrong person, so... we respectfully ask to end this seance and say goodbye," Lyds stammered, but her hand was pulled as the spirit started to spell another word.

"Oh shit... MU... MUR... Murder, that's just great," Nate grimaced, shaking his head and regretting every decision he made that day.

"Simon and Murder," Win mused. "Oh fuck... I think we're talkin' to--" her exclamation cut short as the table beneath the ouija board began to vibrate.

"Sally? Is that you?" Lydia asked and the planchette surged towards the yes. "Oh, for fuck's sake, we know he killed you, you were gonna send us to jail! For a self-defense murder!"

"Wait who's Sally?" Nate asked before his mouth fell open. "Oh... the corpse bride lookin' cunt who gave me shit for that brick on her windshield!"

“Yeah, our probation worker,” Win added.

Nats opened his mouth to ask what to do next when the lights began to flicker ominously and the planchette began to move again. “What’s she spellin’ now?” he yelped, hoping no one could hear how freaked out he was.

"Justice... oh please! You're dead!" Lydia cried, but she didn't want to upset the spirits. "I didn't mean it like that, I'm sorry. It's just that he had to do it."

"We're good people! We never killed anyone cause we wanted to. Please fuck off," Nate pleaded.

“Let’s hang up, this call is goin’ nowhere,” Win said, dragging the planchette over to the ‘goodbye’ in the corner. “See ya, y’frigid bitch,” she muttered, wiping her hands.

“Guess she’s still pissed at us, even after all that time,” Nats mused. “Y’d think she’d mellow out after findin’ her boyfriend in th’afterlife.”

"Maybe they went to different places," Lydia pointed one finger up and one down. "I mean, Tony wasn't amazing, but he didn't do that to us cause he wanted to either. He was possessed."

"Maybe," Nate shrugged. "Can't see her anywhere, so it's over. Don't worry."

"I'll call Simon to put a Greek evil eye on his door," she jumped in search of her phone.

"I don't think Tony woulda turned violent unless he already had violence in his heart," Win murmured thoughtfully as she picked up the ouija board to put away. "But I'm glad that's over with, it gave me the skeevies."

"Probably, think we all got powers that had to do with who we are. I've always felt really vulnerable, so I got a shield. Nathan is dumb so he can't die..."

"Hey!" Nate laughed. "Don't think that's why!"

"I was afraid of bein' seen as a leech, so my power's leechin' other peoples'," Win muttered, still kinda sore about that one, even if it did come in handy.

"Don't say that, your power saved us so many times," Lyddie emerged from their room with her phone to give her wife a hug. But just as she took the other woman in her arms, the bedroom door slammed shut

Yelping in surprise, Win jumped into her arms. "D'you think...? It couldn't have been Sally, could it? We ended the seance..." she whispered, a chill running down her spine.

"She never said goodbye, but... Nate said he couldn't see anyone," Lyds held her protectively. "It was probably the wind, I left the window open."

"Right, yeah. The wind..." she agreed hesitantly, shaking her head, her voice trembling slightly. "C'mon, let's go make something to eat."

"Yeah, there's some leftover curry, I can toast some bread," Lyddie tried to not freak out for everyone's sake.

"Yummy! I'm starvin', all the supernatural shit really drained me," Nate hopped on the stool and leaned over the counter.

“Are you really not even a little rattled?” Win asked the boys as she pulled the dish of leftovers out of the fridge for Lydia.

“Nah, what’s she gunna do?” Nats scoffed, lifting a shoulder in a half-shrug.

"Your mum and our brother have t'make the biggest effort t'visit. What makes Sally so powerful that she could haunt us?" Nate agreed.

"Don't worry baby, nothing is gonna hurt us, I'm here," Lyddie smiled reassuringly.

Lydia’s words placated Win for the time being, but by the time they were getting ready for bed, more strange things began to happen.

“Nate, did you filch my clean pyjamas from th’bathroom?” Winnie huffed, emerging in her towel, her hair still dripping.

"That would've been a great idea t'see you naked, but no... someone got there before me," Nate gave his brother an accusatory glare.

"I can find something for you to wear," Lydia offered, opening the top dresser drawer and screaming when the bottom one opened as well, hitting her legs.

“What, it wasn’t me!” Nats cried, his exclamation turning into a sharp shriek of alarm as his wife cried and jumped back. “Oh shit! Lollipop, you alright?”

He quickly rushed to her side and kicked the dresser door shut. Suddenly the lights began to flicker faster and faster before the door slammed shut with a whoosh leaving them in darkness.

“I’m fairly certain that wasn’t th’wind this time!” Win exclaimed, having jumped into Nate’s arms atop the bed.

"Yeah, we might have a problem," Lydia murmured, letting Nats embrace her. "How can we banish her? She's so salty for no reason! She took my brother's phone, he was just trying to get it back."

"I don't know, I'd call my priest uncle, but things were a little awkward after the... y'know, fake possession stunt," Nate shared a look with his twin before loosening Winnie's towel to get a peek at her goods. "Ooh, nice, never gets old."

She gave him a halfhearted smack to the shoulder but didn’t bother recovering herself.

“I’m gunna ignore th’bit about a fake possession, though I’m definitely curious,” she said, looking between the two. “Maybe we should call a priest though? Not your uncle, but a priest?” she asked, her gaze going to her wife.

"Do you know any priests? I've never even been to a church, my mum's a former Catholic turned atheist and my dad's a Jewish hippie," Lydia covered them all in a force field as one of her Tony awards was launched from the shelf.

"I don't know, maybe there's some 0800-priest. Do we know any pastors maybe? Or monks? Maybe your dad knows a rabbi!" Nate asked.

“No, sorry. My family never went t’church either.” Win shook her head. “Maybe we could call th’local parish? See if they can help us?” She suggested, wincing as several books exploded from the shelf.

"We can't sleep like this! Let's go over there right now, I'm not letting this cunt hurt you. Nate, get us dressed, we're leaving," Lydia demanded.

"Right now? It's late," he said, though he followed her instructions, snapping his fingers to dress all of them up. "Could be dangerous."

"Not as dangerous as sleeping with a vengeful spirit in our house. Someone will have to help us."

“Will anyone even be there at this hour?” Nats asked, quickly shutting his mouth at the look his wife threw him.

"If there isn't, we're spending the night with my parents," Lyddie shoved a few essentials in a backpack and headed to the door while covering herself and the others still.

"What if she tries t'follow us?" he wondered as they walked across the estate to the big cathedral.

"Then I guess we better hope th'priest is in," Win murmured.

As expected, the doors at the church were locked, so Lydia banged with both fists while Nate tried to unlock it.

"Hey! We need help! We messed it up and now we're haunted!" She screamed.

After several minutes of their pounding and Lyddie's screaming, the door finally swung open, revealing a very disheveled looking man.

"Yes?" He exclaimed, leaning heavily against the church door.

"There are millions of bloody priests in the world, why the fuck he's the one helpin' us?" Nate hissed.

"Oh my... this is... this is new," Lydia's legs nearly gave out when she saw him, an exact copy of Nathan but with some facial hair. Not much, but enough to make her weak in the knees.

I fancy a priest, I'm so going to hell if I die one day, she thought, even more turned on by how sleepy and messy he looked.

"What, may I ask are y'doin' bangin' on th'door at this hour?" The priest asked, his gaze taking in all four of them.

"Oh..." Win breathed, discreetly reaching for Nate's arm, subconsciously trying to remind herself that she was married.

"We're bein' haunted!" Nats exclaimed, breaking the silence. "We need an exorcism, STAT!"

"We're so sorry, we didn't mean to disturb you, but it's really urgent," Lydia tossed her hair and fixed her posture. There was nothing wrong with being attracted to this guy, it'd not like anything would ever happen anyway. "There's a vengeful spirit throwing things around the house, we were trying to communicate with the Queen and things went south. We really really need your help," she pouted slightly.

“Why were y’tryin’ to talk to th’Queen?” the priest scoffed, amusement breaking the annoyed expression he wore. “Come on in, I gotta get dressed,” he murmured, gesturing for them to follow him.

"The royals are sort of a hobby of mine," Lydia obeyed, turning agape at Win like a giddy fan meeting her idol. "Even though I'm not exactly a fan of authority... can I ask what's your name, father?"

"Get a grip, you're married! And thinkin' what you're thinkin' about a priest is a sin for sure," Nate whispered in her ear.

Win met Lyddie’s look with one of her own and had to fight to stifle her snicker as she overhear his hissed warning.

“Uh, it’s Kay,” the priest answered distractedly, leading them to his office, which doubled for a bedroom. “Sit wherever y’like, make yourselves comfortable, and I’ll be back in a minute,” he said, gesturing to a few worn armchairs in the corner while running his other hand through his close cropped curls.

"Thank you," Lydia smiled, already grateful to Sally for being so stubborn.

Nate took a seat and pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her like a dog protecting his bone. "You're shameless, woman," he scolded.

"What? I didn't do anything, and you are right. We're married, for over ten years, you should be over your silly jealousy by now. He's a man of God, I could never!" She fought not to laugh. "I just hope he can help us with the house. Right, Winnie?"

"Yeah, I hope so too," she agreed, sharing a tiny grin with her wife.

"Okay, now get me up t'speed," Kay exclaimed as he returned to the room wearing his vestments. "You said somethin' about en exorcism?" he asked, sitting down on the arm of the chair opposite them.

"Yeah, we're bein' haunted by th'ghost of one of our probation workers," Nats explained.

"Almost fifteen years ago we were arrested and had to do some community service. My brother and this probation worker were having some sort of relationship," Lydia winced thinking about it. "She passed away during an accident and today when we tried to communicate with spirits, she's the one who came forward and she's really angry for some reason. We were wondering if there's anything you can do."

Kay looked thoughtful for a long moment. "I can come and bless your house, I s'pose."

"That's it?" Nats exclaimed incredulously.

"You say that as if you can do it yourself..." Lydia gave him a pointed look. "That would be great."

"Sorry, we're not exactly wired t'trust priests," Nate muttered.

Kay winced and opened his mouth before shutting it again, deciding better not to ask. "Since I'm awake, I suppose now's as good a time as any," he said instead, getting to his feet. "Shall we?"

"Yeah, we're so sorry by the way," Lyddie got up, fixing her skirt. "That whole mess might just make me religious."

"Mhmm, the mess," Nate took her backpack so she wouldn't have to carry it on the way back.

"Oh hush, you," Win hissed, nudging his shoulder as they filed back out the church and back into the night.

"D'yeh think this'll actually work?" Nats wondered in a hushed voice. "No offense to our lookalike priest," he muttered.

"I really hope so, this has t'be worth it," Nate rolled his eyes, following behind as the girls led the way. "Otherwise we'll have t'move out or some shit."

Once back at the house Nats entered hesitantly, looking around to see if Sally was still around. "I think th'coast is clear for th'moment," he said, turning around to let the others in.

"Ah what a bitch!" Lydia gasped when she saw their stuff scattered all over the floor. "Sorry, I didn't mean to curse."

"You sure?" Nate held up the two halves of her destroyed signed copy of Junji Ito's Uzumaki.

"That cunt whore!" She yelped and immediately covered her mouth, shaking her head in embarrassment.

"It doesn't bother me if you swear," Kay assured her, pattering her shoulder lightly as he stepped past her, surveying the room.

Suddenly a vase fell from the mantle, smashing on the ground and making them jump. "Wow, you weren't kiddin', that's one angry spirit," he murmured.

"We have no idea why..." Lyddie shrugged, taking Nate's hand when she noticed he was staring daggers at Kay. "You'll fix my book later, right? And our trophies..."

"Ask him..." he huffed stubbornly but quietly.

"Oh come on, are you 33 or 13?"

“I can fix them,” Win whispered.

“Sometimes it’s not fair you can do that,” Nats grumbled.

"Thank you, my lovely perfect wife," Lydia stuck her tongue out at the boys.

"You're too soft on her, Winnie," Nate folded his arms.

“And you’re getting your knickers in a twist over nothin’,” she snapped back.

"If y'say so," Nate couldn't deny that fella was being more than generous helping them out in the middle of the night.

“Not to worry,” Kay said, turning back to the four of them. “I’m going to th’cleanse your house now.”

"Thank you so much, do you need us to do anything, father?" Lydia asked tying her hair up in a ponytail.

“I’m gunna sprinkle some holy water in each room as I pray. All yeh need t’do is follow me,” he explained, reaching into his robe to grab his vial of the liquid.

"Yeah, of course," she took Win's hand, not for a moment doubting that plan was going to work. It only made sense... Nate on the other hand was quite unimpressed.

Winnie squeezed her wife's hand and followed after Kay. Though she didn't believe in the whole Jesus thing, she hoped that this prayer thing would work.

"How much you wanna bet this is gunna work or not?" Nats whispered to his twin.

"I bet a threesome that it's not gonna work," he whispered back smugly. "There's no fuckin' way one of our variants is a priest... he must be a fake, only doin' it for the free accommodations."

"Deal." Nats shook on it.

"What are you two on about?" Win hissed as they passed through the living room to the kitchen where Sally had left another mess.

"Nothin'," Nate flashed her a charming grin. "Just talkin' about how much we love our wonderful wives. There ya go always thinkin' the worst..."

Kay sprinkled a few drops of holy water as they went, his voice a melodic prayer. Winnie gave the Nathans a doubtful look, but held her tongue, not wanting to disrupt the cleanse.

I think there's something wrong with me, this is turning me on, Lydia thought, making the sign of the cross and shaking those thoughts away.

Kay continued his prayers, making the sign of the cross before leading them onto the next room.

Suddenly as they returned to the bedroom, everything began to vibrate violently, but he merely raised his voice louder, unperturbed as he flung a spray of holy water across the space. "Leave this house, spirit! By the name of God, I command ye!"

"This is exciting," Win breathed, grabbing Lydia's arm.

"Oh you have no idea..." she brought her wife's hand to her chest, where anyone could easily feel her heart racing. "He's not even scared, he's amazing."

Nate rolled his eyes, trying to look as unfazed, even though he was a little bit freaked out. The lights were flickering and the sounds of the objects flying around were deafening. It all got worse until it finally stopped, leaving them in the most peaceful silence.

"--In God's name, amen." Kay finished his prayer and smiled, turning to face the four of them. "Looks like she's left."

"Oh thank God," Win exclaimed, while Nats still eyed the room reluctantly, just waiting for Sally to return.

"So that's it? That actually worked?" Nate scoffed, only thinking of the threesome he'd have to sit out.

"You're a lifesaver! This is incredible! I have no idea how to thank you," Lydia laughed, unable to contain her excitement. "D-do we pay you? Can I bring you lunch tomorrow?"

"Oh," Kay exclaimed, somewhat taken aback. "No payment is necessary, but..." he hesitated, turning his grin on her, "lunch would be nice, after wakin' me up in th'middle of the night," he chuckled.

"What if she comes back?" Nats cried, scowling at the way Lyddie was gazing at the priest.

"I suppose, let me know and I'll try something a little more advanced," he answered, frowning slightly. "But in th'meantime, maybe no more tryin' to contact the dearly departed Queen via ouija board."

"I promise we will never touch another board again, we'll let the Queen rest," Lydia nodded, already planning what she was going to cook the next day. "I'll make sure to update you tomorrow on the whole ghost situation."

"Yeah well, thanks," Nate sighed, his face unbiddenly showing exactly how jealous he was. "Let's hope she doesn't come back," the last thing he wanted was to invite him over to get rid of another poltergeist.

Kay nodded. "It was my pleasure, good night to you," he said, following them back to the front door and stepping out into the dark street. As soon as he was gone, Nats shut the door heavily and let out a loud sigh.

"Winnieeeeeee!" Lydia squealed, jumping around, it had been a few years since a new variant had appeared. "We're ghost free! Well not really, but the bad ones are gone I hope."

"Thankfully," Nats sighed, catching her around the middle.

"Guess I'll clean the mess then," Nate muttered, waving his hand to fix what was broken and get it back in place even though he swore he wouldn't do it.

Win laughed at her wife's excitement before turning to Nate and winding her arms around his neck, stretching to do so. "Thank you, babe," she whispered.

"Yeah yeah..." he tried to fight a smile. "What don't I do for you two?" He held her in turn, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

She smiled, tilting her chin to look up at him. "Think we can resume where we were when I was in your lap with naught but a towel?" she purred, twining one of his curls around her finger.

"Now that's a plan," he lifted her in his arms, disappearing with her clothes even before reaching the bedroom. "So much better."

She giggled, letting out a yelp as he tumbled to the bed with her. "So glad to have our home back t'normal," she murmured, running her fingers through Nathan's curls.

"Me too, from now on we only summon the spirits we know," Nate mumbled against her lips. "I kinda bet a threesome with Nats and lost, so I'll keep you tonight. All mine."

"Guess y'shoulda had more faith then," Win teased, opening her mouth to him, grinning into the kiss. "But mmm, I like th'sound of bein' all yours tonight."

"Stop with that face, I'm not even looking and I know which face you have," Lydia turned in Nats' embrace and touched the tip of his nose with her own. "See? I knew it."

"And what face is that?" He asked with a laugh, pressing his lips to the tip of her nose.

"It's cute, you always scrunch your nose and your lips do this thing when you eat something you don't like or when you're jealous," she teased, scratching his scalp gently.

"Yeah, yeah, obviously I'm jealous," he grumbled, pushing his lip out further.

"As cute as it is when you're jealous of us, you know there's nothing to worry about, have we ever fucked another Nathan? We met several... and this is probably the only one who doesn't want anything to do with us," Lydia assured, stealing a kiss.

"I know," Nats murmured, pulling her closer by the waist and deepening the kiss.

"Good, you're the only one for me," she whispered. "Well, not really, but you get the picture."

Tag List: @firstpersonnarrator @elliethesuperfruitlover

#misfits fanfic #misfits nathan #misfits #fanfic #timeline anomaly verse #nathan young #nathan x oc #nathan x lydia #nathan x win #otp: green apple lollipop #fic collab #sheehalloween 2022

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terrainofheartfelt · 2 years

Text

Miloverse headcanons: BBWE Before Blair Waldorf Era

After Georgina blows their bubble of secrecy and Rufus and Lily know, and she takes off “to the spa” the first of her exits over the first year of Milo’s life, that’s when Rufus catches the fake on the paternity test. (basically how it goes down in the show).

The first person Dan calls when he finds out and realizes Georgina ditched is Vanessa. The second is his mom. Because his dad knows so like it’s only a matter of time, and because Dan has genuinely never been at such a loss at how to deal with something, and that’s what moms are for. (Just not Milo’s, apparently).

Alison gets a hotel room and helps out for a week — Jenny comes down on the weekend. She only cracks one (1) joke about the flying monkeys chasing her out of town, but all of that feels so far away to Dan right now.

He considers his options and decides to take the semester off. Rufus loses his shit, but Alison backs him up. Dan wonders if there’s an unsaid something about his parents’ reasons, but he’s too tired to figure it out. Milo’s all that matters. Rufus gets on board fast (Lily and Jenny’s influence, probably), but there’s something fractured between him and Dan after that, and it’s a while until they feel normal again.

Vanessa and Nate still have school and classes, but they help out whenever they can. Basically, they treat the loft as their study hall, even though it’s clearly in another borough. They each make jokes that the baby’s cute face is perfect therapy. After the dust has settled and it’s less weird Serena comes by too. She and Blair had been inseparable since getting back from Paris, but apparently Waldorf’s head has been turned by a new guy.

Lily demands at least one weekly brunch so that she can lay eyes on Dan and Milo and make sure they’re okay. Each one becomes bookended by Dan and Vanya talking about their babies in the lobby. Vanya saves the day when the damn stroller wheel gets jammed (Ana has the same one).

Serena and Nate dance around each other for years before finally getting back together.

When she comes back to find Dan with a baby, he gently closes the door on the possibility of them, and she’s okay letting it latch behind her. Dan needs a friend more than a girlfriend, and she needs a friend more than a suitor, especially with everything around Nate so unresolved.

While most of the gang is sussing out Blair's new guy at her 20th birthday party, Georgina shows up at Dan’s door with a whole speech about how she wants to try again. The same bullshit she preached a year ago at NYU. Stupid big bleeding heart believes her, but doesn’t tell her what he knows about the paternity, and never leaves her alone with Milo.

After another two weeks, she up and leaves again. Dan is spinning, barely keeping it together, and one day his dad and Lily appear. Lily gives him a big kiss on the cheek as soon as she opens the door, and Rufus carries a 22 lb turkey to the kitchen. It’s Thanksgiving.

Dan can’t spend too much time worrying about Georgina establishing this pattern — it bothers him, yeah, but there’s a crying baby, and laundry to do and dishes to wash and doctor appointments and he can’t really focus on anything that isn’t Milo.

Alison and Jenny come around pretty much every other weekend. Dan appreciates the reprieve, and the chance to lay eyes on Jenny regularly. Even if he can’t do anything about it, he can at least see her and make sure she’s okay.

After Georgina ghosts again shortly after the New Year, Vanessa plants the idea that maybe Dan should seek some form of protection, seconded by Nate. As it stands, his rights are nebulous, with just his signature on one document holding them together. He starts to seriously think about how he would look to someone viewing his case, and gets a job, one with a great built-in child-care program.

Once when Vanessa’s hanging out at the loft, Dan casually mentions that you know you’re Milo’s godmother, right? She points out that he’s never actually said that before, or asked. He’s bewildered, because he’s thought it so long it just seems obvious. He stares into space, mortified, until Vanessa flicks him on the nose and says she’d be honored.

Waldorf is getting married, according to reports from Serena and Nate. Figures, Dan thinks, distantly relieved it’s not Chuck, and that whoever is crazy enough to marry Waldorf has a life that will take her far out of New York.

Dan hasn’t seen anything of Chuck since Ana was born, because he’s busy, but also because he threatened to never come to another weekly brunch if it meant Chuck Bass coming anywhere near his son. All the same, he’s happy when during one of his regular study/play with the baby visits, Nate notifies Dan of his change in address. He doesn’t give details, and Dan doesn’t pry, but he lets himself be a lot smug.

Serenate definitely hook up at Blair’s wedding to Louis in Monaco. They agree it’s a “what happens in Vegas” situation. What happens at the wedding of your best friend/ex girlfriend you spent most of your life thinking you’d marry stays at the wedding of your best friend/ex girlfriend you spent most of your life thinking you’d marry.

Time passes in a vortex to Dan, the days only measured by Milo’s successes and meals and sleeps and milestones. It’s while Rufus, Lily, Serena, & Nate are at Waldorf’s wedding that Milo calls him Da-Da for the first time (it’s early but his son’s a genius and his language development is aided by Dan’s hyperverbalism). It’s those affirmations, those moments he clings to.

Another moment happens later in the summer. Nate barrels in and collapses onto the loft couch and soliloquizes about his messy love life problems while Dan only half listens. It’s business as usual until they see Milo take his first steps on his own. Nate pivots from his pity party to making fun of his best friend for crying. And taking pictures, of course.

Georgina misses Milo’s birthday (she’d stuck around for a little after Dan’s though, then vamoosed again), but there must have been some cyclical honing signal that called her back, because now she says she’s ready. Dan has fucking had enough, so he says no, and calls her out for the faked paternity test.

He goads her into coming clean about her milehigh escapades and angering a scorned wife with Russian mob connections and she gives the sob story of retreating to Dan and using his name and goodwill for safety. But she’s past it now and she knows what she wants and she’s taking Milo with her. But Dan refuses because he’s been here all year while she hasn’t so who the fuck is she to decide? And who are you, Dan? Because he’s not your son.

A process server finds him at work at the Brooklyn Public Library the next day. He texts Vanessa and she’s there so fast and makes sure he gets home okay.

Alison and Jenny are with Milo like they usually are on Saturdays when he works. Jenny takes the baby on a walk and Dan tells Alison everything and just crumbles. Once he’s gotten it out, his mom tells him to call Lily. He’ll need a good lawyer, and who would know better than her?

Due to Lily’s heavy-handedness, and the Sparks’ (because they’re now throwing their weight behind Georgina), and the sensitivity of the case, it’s handled outside of the courtroom, in endless depositions and meetings in chambers and Dan feels like he’s going insane. It feels like every other day that autumn he has to put on a suit and leave Milo in the care of Dorota and go downtown and think this might be the last day. That a decision will be made and he’ll have to go home to a completely empty house. His parents are there, always, and Vanessa and Serena and Nate orchestrate a rotating schedule of checking in on him. Eric’s at Sarah Lawrence and Jenny’s in London, so they mostly send supportive texts and silly edits of Milo photos.

There’s a social worker of course who looks into everything. In her sit down with Dan he’s so nervous he rambles on for way too long about some innocuous thing Milo did a few days ago. When he finally manages to get a hold on himself and apologizes, the social worker says, “Mr. Humphrey, do you know what good parents do? They brag about their babies. That’s all I’m hearing here.”

It’s a hard case. The lawyer—handpicked by Lily (who has experience in family court)—tells him that judges tend to favor the mother as a rule. Plus, Georgina has the biological tie he lacks. But, he has a history of stability and a long list of references and a network of support. And, biological tie or not, his name is on the birth certificate. He signed voluntarily, after Georgina asked him too. From a legal point of view, Dan’s told, his and Georgina’s parental claims have a fairly equal weight. A supposition that makes him want to scream. Or grab Milo and run.

He confesses this to Lily of all people, she pulled him to the side so the rest of the gang could take over his kitchen. It’s Thanksgiving again. His second with Milo, and possibly his last.

“I can understand that,” she says, “and of course we would help you, but when this works out for you, you’ll be happy you saw it through and went about it the right way. And you don’t have to spend your life looking over your shoulder and wondering what-if.” Dan thinks it’s the first time he’s ever really understood Lily Rhodes van der Woodsen Humphrey.

When he’s not working or going through custody proceedings, Dan is with his baby. He doesn’t go out, doesn’t do much of anything for himself, because he’s afraid that anything that could be mistook for selfishness Georgina will find out and find a way to use it against him, and because if he loses, he wants all the time he can get. He wears himself down.

His parents catch on, and one afternoon Alison takes Milo to MOMA for a day, and Serena meets with the judge in chambers, signs her name to an affidavit, then goes to Dan in Brooklyn to tell him that she gave testimony on the kind of person Georgina Sparks really is.

The judge decides the case a week later, and Serena’s no holds barred disclosure compels him to not only grant Mr. Humphrey full custody and parental rights, but also a restraining order protecting Dan and Milo Humphrey and Miss van der Woodsen and a mandate that Miss Sparks relinquish her parental rights. Extreme measures for extraordinary circumstances.

Dan is so relieved that on the way to collect Milo from the courthouse’s malignant limbo daycare, he kind of—collapses. His legs give out beneath him and he slumps down, back against the wall. His parents stay, Rufus crouching in front of him, Alison kneeling at his side, while Lily heads out to the lobby to tell they’re assembled family they won. They’re all there: Vanessa, Nate, Serena, Eric, Dorota, Eric’s even got Jenny on the phone.

Milo’s second Christmas is in Hudson. They squeeze into Alison’s spare bedroom and Jenny is back in hers and Dan loves the city but getting out of it for a week is nice. It’s snowing outside and it’s Milo’s second Christmas and Dan is his dad and they don’t ever have to be apart.

#gg hcs #dan humphrey #milo humphrey #got a little unintentionally angsty but it be like that sometimes #the first part of multiple…can’t stop won’t stop #once I started writing so much more stuff came floating up #anyways there shalt be more #@everyone who said they wanted to read I could kiss you 💗💗💗#almost called this BDE before dair era #dilf!dan cinematic universe

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m0tel6mxzzy · 2 years

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tw ed/sh mention: sam levinson does a shitty job at writing (some) mental illnesses (tldr - barbie was right)

ngl sam levinson shouldn’t be allowed to write any mental illness besides addiction or depression which i feel he handled well until he gets a writers room. i’m not bipolar like rue so i cannot determine the “accuracy” of her mania, but i do have mdd and i felt the depiction of depression was very relatable to me. i wouldn’t say realistic, becuase a show with neon lights and spinning camera shots in every room is never meant to be hyperrealistic.

however—barbie made the right move disagreeing on sam’s insistence w the bed storyline for kat. (we need to consider not every skinny person has a restrictive ed, and not every fat person has bed. literally it can be vice versa but sam was going to feed into that stereotype, which barbie rightfully called out.) he already has every skinny character have some form of disordered eating which is never properly addressed (rue as a result of her addiction, and maddy/cassie/nate from being in athletics where they’re often pressured or compelled to be a certain size.) cassie was gonna let nate control her entire diet bc he did the same to maddy, and also this very troubling issue when cassie already has so many other ed risk factors is also,,,never addressed besides anything other than shock value???? how deeply low her mental state has to be to desire that???? told but not shown, and thus never actually addressed in a way where she can process it.

or the fact that maddy probably has trauma related to food bc of nate controlling her diet too???? but yeah let’s just focus on how “crazy” interesting cassie is for trying to imitate maddy.

(cassie also lacks self awareness on how nate racially profiles maddy and that being called “crazy” for not taking someone’s shit is not a compliment, which as a woc i find makes her so so so unlikeable in that regard.)

i feel in s2, maddy didn’t really have much of an arc either. we get “maddy gets a job and wants to leave east highland, she’s also mad at cassie” but she is also recovering from nate. but we aren’t actually seeing it very much outside of her crying to him on her bday because the story is so centered on the rue/elliot/jules and cassie/nate/maddy and maddy/kat bubbles, and maddy and kat are very small components in both of those compared to everyone else arc wise. and maddy and jules having that friend moment at the bowling alley.

i don’t even think it needs to be graphic if ever addressed. maddy could’ve brought her food trauma up w samantha and samantha suggest she seek help or something. not like, only finding it out bc of the implication maddy went thru the same thing only bc cassie knew nate was also controlling her diet, which maddy might’ve made offhand comments about. (and as an anon told me earlier, which i 100% agree-the show should’ve been set in college. many colleges have free mental health resources which would’ve been great for maddy to seek out! a lot of the characters problems lie in the fact that they have mental issues but the help is too expensive. also, many IP treatments geared toward specific mental illnesses might not carry ur insurance. gotta love the us healthcare system!)

hell, it could’ve been maddy or cassie or rue or even nate w the bed storyline. nate’s not an interesting character at this point-all he does is abuse maddy/cassie/jules and get away with it. he’s only there to be a conflict and have it justified bc of his trauma. any storyline showing him struggling will just be used to have the other women in the show pretend to be his mother when he needs therapy and cannot be redeemed at this point. and the show is starting to justify it because he’s never given consequences for his actions and the girls carry his burden and have to prance around his sensitivities when he’d never do the same for them.

although i’d give it to elliot bc men w ed’s are seldom addressed and drug addiction is a risk factor for developing an ed. and he’s already been given the consequences of fucking w rue and jules by his relationships w them being…torn to shambles basically. really elliot AND nate need storylines outside of the women in their lives for both theirs and the sake of every other girl on the show. and it doesn’t even need to be his entire storyline! just a significant one that’s fleshed out and addressed.

and i feel if kat went thru w such a storyline like the one sam wanted, it would contradict her development in s1 so far. (and he’s no stranger to contradicting character dev—he had a confirmed lesbian who point blank period said she’s not into men kiss a man who’s done nothing but berate her for questioning her gender identity and does not at all respect her or her gf.)

obviously kat won’t be confident 24/7, she’s human, but she loves herself enough to not get back into previous bad habits that only make her feel worse.

and then we have jules, who deals w sh. mind you, this has been indicated since s1 from the first episode, and has yet to be properly addressed outside rue and elliot like,,, touching her scars and “loving” her regardless of them. as someone in sh recovery it’s just very odd to me bc no amount of love could convince me to stop. i had to convince myself to stop. it does not work like that.

sh addiction is so complex that when u try to stay clean, you can get mild withdrawal symptoms. her scars imho are used in the end of s2ep4 as this “device” for her to be vulnerable w elliot and personally i find it really gross. any sort of internal battle she’s having is never addressed, it’s purely there for shock value. i’d go as far as to say jules’ sh is glamorized in euphoria.

tl;dr: barbie was right. rip kat sorry u were underwritten and thx for sticking to ur guns

#sam levinson #barbie ferreira #kat hernandez #maddy perez #euphoria hbo

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