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#my study guide is judging me rn

barry-j-blupjeans · 2 years

Note

Also #6 and Lucretia! (That whole list is so good I'm resisting the urge to send you all of them with a character/ship.)

6. librarian desperate to understand what wild phase the other character is going thru rn

((no longer accepting but you can find the prompt list here!))

Look. Lucretia tried her best not to judge people. Which was sometimes an effort with the type of people she interacted with on the daily. But she honest to god tried not to judge anyone because libraries were designed to get people the information they needed and Lucretia would be damned if she didn't, at the very least, try to help others.

That being said she had to know what in the entire fuck was going through this man's head.

He had started coming in about a week ago. Every day at three PM, he'd roll up in his gray mini van, take a stack of papers and notebooks from his car, and settle himself down in the furthest, most secluded corner of the library. That in itself wasn't very unusual, they had lots of people coming in to study or to write or just to try to focus on their work. What was unusual was this man's book choices.

Wizarding Through the Ages

What To Do When Your Acquaintance Curses You

Is Magic Real? A Beginner's Guide to the Magical Properties of the Universe

Is My Partner Cheating or Are They Just a Dark Spirit From the 90s?

He was consuming these books at an alarming pace. Even worse, he was not checking any of them out. Lucretia had seen him glance at the check-out machine several times throughout the week, but he had yet to approach it. She had so many questions for him.

And today, finally, finally, he was approaching her.

"Uhm," he began. Lucretia looked up from her desktop like she hadn't been watching him the whole time. He had a book in his hands- Magical Creatures, Friends or Foes? "I was wondering if you had a- a section on, uh. This is gonna sound stupid, hang on-"

"No stupid questions," Lucretia said, turning her chair towards him.

"I've come across a, uh, an... issue in my life. And I need to know if you have any books about... dark magic. Like, necromancy, or raising the dead, or, uh, possession? Ghosts, maybe? Liches?"

Lucretia desperately needed to know what in the world this "issue" was. Did this man think magic was real? Actually, after seeing him in here all week, did Lucretia know for certain that magic wasn't real?

"We... might," she said, glancing back towards her computer. "Actually, I have a question for you."

"O- Oh?" he said, suddenly even more nervous than he was before.

"Two questions, I suppose. One, could I ask your name?"

The man looked around like someone might be listening in on them. For his part, there could be someone listening in. No one else in the room was talking right now.

"Barry," he whispered.

"It's nice to meet you, Barry," she said. "Question two, do you know how our catalog works?"

"I... didn't know you had a catalog," Barry admitted. "So I'm gonna go with no."

"Hang on," Lucretia said, standing up. She rounded the counter to get onto his side. "Follow me, please." And lead him up to one of the computers they had in the middle of the room. She pulled out the chair for him. Very hesitantly and very nervously, he sat down. Lucretia pointed to the catalog option.

"This is our catalog," she said when he clicked on it. "See the search bar up top? You can type in a keyword or two and it'll show you all the books that mention that word in the title or are about that subject. Give it a try."

Barry typed out the word "lich" very slowly and hit enter. About a dozen books popped up.

"If we don't have them in stock here, I can order them for you from another library," Lucretia said. "Do you have a library card?"

"Uhh, no, sorry," Barry said, flushing.

"We can set you up with one, if you want," Lucretia said.

"Will anyone be able to- to track what books I'm getting?" He covered the book about magical creatures up suddenly, as if he had forgotten Lucretia could see it. "Like, if the government or... someone was like "you're not supposed to be researching this", would they be able to see that I have books checked out about it?"

"I don't think anyone's concerned about you looking at books about magic," Lucretia said, now full of even more questions. "But yes, the library does keep track of the books you have checked out. If you would prefer to just keep coming in and reading them here, then I can work with you on that. But checking things out might help you a little so you don't have to drag all your papers in and out of your van every day."

"That makes sense," Barry said, glancing between her and the screen. "Please... don't tell anyone about this. It's- I wanna figure it out before I talk to someone about it? Sorry, that's, uh- that's weird."

"I won't talk to anyone about it," Lucretia said as if she wasn't already planning on telling Maureen everything during their lunch date tomorrow. "You have my word."

"Thank you," Barry said. He looked back at the screen completely now, clicking on a book titled My Neighbor's a Lich?!?!?!? "I think I got it from here."

"Have a good day," Lucretia said, starting back towards her desk. Barry repeated it back, already engrossed in the online catalog. She took a seat back at her swival chair and tried not to look back over at him. Maureen was in for one hell of an update.

#lucretia #barry bluejeans #taz lucretia #taz #mine #ise cube writing #titaniumcanary #asks

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eunjidrabbles · 3 years

Text

孤单北半球/Oceans apart

(I’m riding on the Dreamcatcher Crossroads concert high rn to bring ya’ll this. Yes i cried when Dongie cried.

Edit: Happy April Fools, I finally posted)

Word count: About 2k

“你答应了她们. (You promised them.)” “但我不想把你给留下. (But I don’t want to leave you behind.)”

Watching the wonder that is Handong grow up with you, there was never a moment you were not amazed by not only her talents, but her willpower and determination to push through the hardest times. You were the one who supported and stood at the boarding gates as your childhood mate entered to start the grueling grind of her dreams as a teenager. You watched as she turned back with a gleam in her eyes, and you couldn’t help push aside your selfish feelings of wanting to continue growing with her by your side and smile back brightly to her. Handong has always told you, that you were what gave her courage to pursue her dream. You weren’t going to be the reason to stop that too. Only until you watched as what you assumed her flight lifted off into the skies did you let your smile break and your tears consume you. That was years ago.

You were not expecting when your phone rang a week ago, and a familiar custom ringtone played. A soft voice made you stop in your tracks and you hesitated, wondering if you were dreaming. Noticing your coworker staring at you weirdly finally had you snap out of your thoughts and scramble to hit the accept button before the next verse of the song started. Putting the phone to your ear, you held your breath in silence, trying to find the right words to say. Before you could form a proper sentence, the same voice from your ringtone was heard on the other end.

“我刚下飞机, 正在回来的路上. (I just got off the plane, I’m on my way back.)” You could only blink owlishly, trying to understand what she meant as she continued. “你... 能接我吗? (Can you... come fetch me?)” There it was, the little crack and tremble of her voice, making it sound so fragile and weak. You looked over to your coworker, and to the nearly empty café around you and made your decision. Giving a sound of affirmation, you heard a whisper of thanks before the call was ended. Walking over to your coworker who was now across the counter, trying to busy herself with wiping it down as if to clean away some imaginary stain, you stopped right in front of her before thinking of how to phrase your early leave off your shift. She finally stood up straight, towering well over you when she couldn’t stand the deafening silence between you, and raised an eyebrow at you. “Judging by your reaction, it’s your old flame, isn’t it? Go. I can handle this.” Waving the rag over her head behind her towards the exit, you chuckled and let out a sigh of relieve at your coworker and next longest friend that you had besides Handong. The American girl never failed to amuse you with her straightforwardness and how she could tell whenever you weren’t feeling your best. Removing the apron over your head, you rushed to the back to hang it up and back in front to hop over the counter earning yourself a damp rag on your head and a “I just cleaned that!” as you ran past.

Your heart thumped in your chest as you pushed your legs to move forward, slowing down only when your calves cried in pain. Pacing yourself as you catch your breath, you slowed down even more as you let your thoughts wash over you once again. Years have passed since the both of you last talked. She wasn’t allowed her phone as a trainee, from what you understood from the last message she sent before going radio silent. The next time you saw her was on screen; she was standing proudly with 6 other girls, each equally as charming as she was but all you could do was focus on how much time has changed your childhood friend. Her features grew sharper, so had her words. From the little korean you picked up as you helped her study back then, you decided to do whatever research you could about her and her new group and became their fan. You watched from afar as they grew bigger, and got more attention from fans, but as a fan yourself, you weren’t blind to the hate that they got too. You were sure that she wasn’t too.

Reaching the park you used to play in with her, you looked around the darkening scenery as you spotted a figure, hood up and covering their face with a mask. As if sensing your gaze, her eyes snapped up to meet with yours. Immediately, you could see her worn features soften as she stood up to greet you. Taking your time to slowly admire the fact she was finally back while you approached, your eyes met and your hand unconsciously reached up to gently caress her cheeks; a confirmation that she was here. Closing her eyes, she leaned into your hand and pulled you closer into a hug. When they opened again you could see the weariness, the damage words had done to her over time, and the way the spark you sent her off with barely flickering in her gaze. Gently tracing her features down her jawline to her neck and down her arm to her hands, you intertwined your fingers and gently tugged her towards the direction of your home. Wordlessly, Handong gripped her luggage with her free hand and followed you.

There was a comforting feeling once you’ve helped her pull the luggage in your apartment as she heaved a loud sigh and started removing the extra layers on her. It was as if everything was back to the previous normal, where the chinese girl would crash at your place after a long day in school, automatically making your place as her own with her beelining straight for the bathroom to wash up. Pulling the luggage towards your room, you moved to the guest room to pick up the extra set of pillows before heading back to your room and dumping them on your bed. When the doors to your bathroom opened, you saw the girl step out, already dressed in one of your old pajamas and you moved to the side so she could have a seat on the bed. Giving her shoulder a soft squeeze, you picked up another set of pajamas and headed to wash up. The sight that greeted you when you stepped out of the bathroom was heartbreaking. A deep frown marred her face as her eyes dart around on the screen in her fidgeting hands, not even noticing when you quietly approached her. Slowly rounding your fingers around the electronic, you pulled it out her hands and your other hand leading her head to lean into you. Feeling arms wrap around your waist, you take the hint to slowly move onto the bed, guiding her along as you soothingly thread your hands through her hair.

Setting her phone aside and laying down on your side, you pulled up the blankets slightly and continued to comfort the girl in your arms. The silence was cold, but was broken by sobs and you could start to feel her body shake as she finally let the ice cold façade go. Gone was Dreamcatcher’s ice queen Handong, and in your arm was the shy and soft Dongie that would always turn to you for comfort ever since she was a child. It tore you apart inside, knowing you couldn’t do much but be there for her, regardless of time. Gently nudging her to move further up on the bed, she complied and nuzzled her face between your neck and gave you a squeeze. That was all you needed to know before you placed a soft kiss on the top of her head and pulled her closer to you while you hummed a random tune that came to your mind to lull her into slumber. You weren’t sure how long it took, but only when you felt her breathing even out signaling that she was asleep, you moved back slightly to look at her. Though her face was stained with tears and the evidence of her struggle, she was still your beautiful and precious Dongie that you cared for as long as you could remember. Pressing another soft kiss on her forehead, you mumbled, “哭过就好了, 你会变得更坚强的. (It’ll be alright. You’ll become stronger.)” and closed your eyes to let slumber overtake you.

It truly was as if the years of her absence did not exist. You’d rotate between days of her staying over at your home, and sometimes heading over to her place to have meals with her family once again. You’d watch how her rigid posture slowly relax, and how the words she’d share with you slowly increase day by day. You’d notice that she’d look at her phone lesser, and instead choose to smile at you more. Though you’d each have your own schedules and routines daily, knowing that you’ll see one another at the end of the day brings you a strange feeling, both longing for this to continue but you knew better. Handong came home to find herself, to get back her confidence and not for you. She won’t be staying by your side. You can’t be selfish to think of holding her back again.

On the day of the final episode of the show was recorded, you sat silently in the parking lot an hour before the supposed ending in your car waiting for Handong to emerge from the back exit. Your head was clouded with just one thought despite all the internal debates. Hearing the car door open and slam close beside you, you glanced over to see her wide smile as she excitedly chatter away. Only when you failed to give any sounds of acknowledgement did she turn to look at you questioningly. Still not getting an answer from you, she could only chuckle awkwardly. “你干嘛这样看我啊? (Why are you looking at me like that?)”

“韓東. (Handong.)”

You could see her excitement reeled in slowly as she realized that you were about to talk about something serious with the look in your eyes and the sigh right after calling her.

“你该回去了吧. (You should go back.)” Confusion flashed in her eyes as she studied your posture, trying to find any signs of a joke. “你...在说什么呀? (What.. are you talking about?)”

“在这没什么能给你, 你还是回去韩国吧. 她们都在等你. (There is nothing more to offer you here, you should go back to Korea. They are all waiting for you.)”

The smile on her face dropped as she broke eye contact with you, slowly retreating into herself. You knew that she was most comfortable here, but her dream meant pushing past her comfort zone and into the horizons beyond. Like you did in the past, you’ve decided to continue to push her forward from behind, and cheer her on. Fear was obvious, not less to say a still healing wound but with a gentle hand on hers, you encouraged her to look back into your eyes.

“你答应了她们. (You promised them.)” “但我不想把你给留下. (But I don’t want to leave you behind.)”

Taking a deep breath, Handong wiped the tear away from her eyes. The journey back hasn’t been easy. Hearing the birthday message from her parents certainly brought back the memory of all the hardships she had faced, but it also helped her realize how far she had came. Feeling arms embrace her from all directions and the slight taunting and comforting words of her members, she broke out in a smile as she tried to contain the tears flowing down her cheeks to prevent them from ruining her makeup. Throughout the rest of the online concert, she pushed herself even harder to show everyone and made her presence known; that she was back. The burst of energy was definitely felt by the rest, and the encore was hyped up even more so with it.

At the sign given by the director, the camera was shut and everyone came together to celebrate a successful concert. Rowdy cheers and hoots were shared even though it was past midnight, and as snacks and drinks were brought out, Handong quietly slipped out of the main stage to the back. Tears sprung to her eyes again as she let her smile grow wider and wider as you stood up from the sofa. Walking forward, she pulled you into a tight hug and you naturally embraced her back.

“我会和你一起走上每一条路所以你可以安心的向前冲吧. (I’m with you every step of the way, so you can aim for your dreams.)”

#dreamcatcher imagines #handong imagines #handong x reader #happy april fools #hope this is a nice prank #are yall just friends or lovers #its up to you honestly #just know that yall started as childhood friends

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xlady-saya · 4 years

Text

I want this touch to be familiar [Ch. 4]

Relationships: andrew/neil, side aaron/katelyn

Summary: Deep down, Andrew knew he would always reach this crossroads, a time where the thought became too strong to ignore.

Going all the way with Neil. It’s not something he can continue to avoid thinking about. When Andrew looks back to the days where he held Neil’s hands down, when he never got off with him in the same room, he’s forced to acknowledge how much he’s allowed.

Not allowed. Welcomed. Wanted.

But that’s not all there is to it, and the desire to make a decision finally makes itself known.

Tags: first time fic, p*rn with feelings, relationship study, fluff and communication, multichapter

Read on ao3!

The second time they try is perhaps worse than the first, in that the interruption doesn't come from either of them.

Part of Andrew, the small part which sometimes wonders if there is some eternal being running the show, would love nothing more than to fight them for making his life like this.

It's even more irritating because the second time, he's ready. He's more than ready.

He's burning.

Andrew slams the door to their dorm room shut so hard the wall shakes. His free hand, the one not tangled in Neil's hair, locks it without a second thought. The sound of it clicking into place is like a starting gun, telling him they're alone, it's just them.

He can do whatever he wants.

He expects his hands to be clammy, unsure, but he hasn't moved with so much purpose in a long time, and certainly not for his own benefit.

Neil's breathy laugh is quickly turned into a gasp when Andrew locks their lips together, the desperate smacks bouncing off the walls. Kissing shouldn't feel this mind-blowing; Andrew's done it thousands of times, but when Neil moans into his mouth, it coaxes out all of Andrew's primal urges. The striker pins his tongue down, guides Andrew's hands to the curve of his back, telling Andrew to take. He growls against Neil's lips for the trick, but gives in anyway. Neil is just too much, offered willingly, wantonly.

He grabs handfuls of Neil's ass, pulling him flush to his body, showing off his strength. The cotton leggings are soft, thin, and Andrew pulls at the fabric to stretch it. He's been building up to this since this morning, when he watched Neil slowly pull the offensive pants over the curve of his ass.

Class afterwards had been interesting.

Andrew pulls Neil up a little higher; the striker's feet don't touch the floor, held completely. It's what Neil likes, though he's never said it. He knows Andrew can hold him up, dependable.

Neil doesn't even startle, just throws his head back from the promise of it. A mess already, both of them.

This time, there's no question about it. Andrew is rock hard in his jeans, trying not to hump Neil's leg for friction. There's more he wants to do, more they've been waiting to do.

Andrew's mind runs a mile a minute, but not with second guessing or caution from before.

It's clear, his mind is so clear. The desire to take is there, but there's no guilt or shame with it. Because Neil wants it, Neil's going to give. Andrew only feels pure, unsullied longing.

He acts on it, before it has the chance to leave him again.

He slams Neil against the wall, and the striker moans, like he's grateful for it. Strong legs wrap around Andrew's back after a rushed yes, pulling him impossibly close. He wonders if Neil is really afraid of Andrew leaving him in this state; it would be a sight to see Neil whining like that...

Neil's practically vibrating with excitement, rutting forward already as he kicks off his shoes. The clatter of them behind him sends Andrew's heart rate into a frenzy, it's nearly unacceptable.

He doesn't have time to correct it, when Neil looks like this. He can only feel want. The blue in Neil's eyes is wiped out, and Andrew wants to trace the scars on his face, flushed from their exertion.

Neil has other ideas; his shaking hands paw at Andrew's jacket, willing it off, and Andrew nearly smirks. He can't though, because he's just as bad right then.

He pulls Neil's hoodie off, ruffling his hair, and his hands are everywhere after that. He presses them along Neil's ribs, his collar bones, stopping to roll one of his nipples between his fingers. Neil keens from the attention, but his lidded eyes find the bulge in Andrew's pants quickly. Neil never likes to be the only one feeling good, not these days, when Andrew so willingly lets him reciprocate. "Andrew, I want--"

Andrew silences him with a harsh kiss, pinching the nub between his fingers.

Neil almost looks offended when Andrew moves away, but then his eyes widen, pulled into submission by Andrew's low tone.

If Andrew ever does admit he likes Neil's legs, it'll be the day Neil has to admit he has a thing for Andrew's voice.

"I know what you want," Andrew states, a vow. Right then, Neil wants to be taken apart, but more than that...

He wants to share this, finally, after all their talking and the memory of their first attempt. They're going to try again, and for once the possibility of failure isn't nearly as daunting. No matter what...

"It always feels good, when we lose control."

Andrew forces himself to think for a moment, his hands reaching back down to cup Neil's thighs. He can't help but squeeze, and a little gentler, Andrew lifts Neil to move them to the bed. As tempting as wall sex might sound in his head, this is still their first time.

No discomfort, no navigating more than they have to.

Neil seems to understand this, and goes slack in Andrew's arms, mouthing at his neck lazily.

The air in the room feels frantic, but it doesn't stop the wave of calm that hits them both. Andrew sets Neil down, and the striker's body creates space for him, pulling him forward so they're locked together. There's a pause as Neil falls onto his back, an infinite moment locked away in the second their eyes meet.

Neil's attempt to fight off a smile is pathetic, and he taps the side of Andrew's face by his eye. There's no blood or bruising there this time. It's as if to test Andrew is real, that this is happening.

Andrew breathes in shakily at the feeling which hits him, not knowing where to place it. The spectrum of emotions was locked away for so long, but this...he doesn't think it would be easy to place in any situation.

He's reluctant to pull away, but Neil only squirms excitedly when he does. He knows. Andrew grabs the book bag at the foot of the bed, emptying it haphazardly. The condoms fall on top of Neil, and Andrew swallows around the lump in his throat. It's terrible, what the sight does to him, like he's some teenage boy. Neil takes it in stride though, grabbing one and eyeing the reflective packaging with intensity.

So easy to read in moments like this.

Neil holds one of the condoms in front of his face, eyeing Andrew teasingly, like he can hear his thoughts. It's annoying, but it doesn't stop the traitorous part of Andrew from wondering how many of these they'd be able to go through...

"You can see me this time," Neil breathes, and Andrew stills. It’s a throwaway statement to anyone else, unnecessary, clunky. It relieves any last dredges of tension Andrew might have.

Oh, he can see alright. Neil is on his back, in front of Andrew, no room to miss the yearning or lust in his features. The striker brushes his bangs aside, like they're obstructive, and the feeling from before overflows back in Andrew's chest. Neil is so giddy about it, and the softness in the words threatens to choke Andrew. He grabs Neil's face with both hands, like he almost can't believe it.

They're not making the same mistake, it won't be like last time.

"I can," he echoes, not knowing what else he can do. This is troublesome he knows, the fact something so ridiculous can make him feel at ease. He searches his mind for hesitation, for any reason to not do this. He’s not able to stop, it's in his nature to look for the snag, but he finds none.

So he moves forward.

Andrew's hips slot against Neil's ass, and he feels the striker's entire body shiver. With a glare, he tugs at the fabric of Neil's leggings, ruined by his eager hands.

Whoever bought Neil these things can die. They're stirrup leggings, the dark fabric stretching down past his ankles to hook around his feet. They match Neil's new style of armbands, the ones that snake a little further down his arm's than Andrew's.

Allison is the most likely culprit he realizes, since the coordination was obviously made with some care.

She's going to pay.

"You like them," Neil states, a fact. He wears them on purpose, they both know it, like how Andrew started wearing more tank tops to the gym.

Despite that, he pinches Neil's thigh, relishing in the jolt.

"Admit you wear them just to be a nuisance," Andrew dodges the admission, as if it helps.

Neil's grin proves it. "When you admit you like how they make my ass look."

But well, that will never happen. Andrew sees no point in admitting the obvious.

He slides his hands over the fabric leisurely, hooking his fingers into the waistband. It's almost a shame he's two seconds from ripping the damn things to shreds if only to get Neil naked faster. Andrew's fingers twitch at the promise, and he sees the moment Neil sits up in anticipation for it. He knows what comes next.

Greedy, aren't we?

"Can we--" Neil starts, and his pants aren't even off.

"Yes Neil," Andrew sighs, as if it's a chore for him. He pushes the leggings and Neil's underwear down in one fluid movement, quick enough to make Neil gasp. It's a direct contradiction to his bored tone, he knows, but Neil likes it. "I'm going to fuck you with my fingers."

Neil's pupils dilate like a starving animal. Andrew regards him with a raised eyebrow; when he'd first suspected Neil would love the feeling of Andrew's fingers inside him, he hadn't anticipated how much. In the days since their first try, it's been the preferred way to get off. He can't judge Neil, when Andrew had been curious to experiment with it anyways. He’s not sick of it, making Neil come untouched, watching him writhe and push against Andrew's hand. Neil's never been shameless when it comes to those things. It’s especially apparent now that there’s no death sentence over his head. Plus, Andrew won't exploit his weaknesses.

So, when Neil enjoys something, he enjoys it for all it's worth. Andrew's pretty sure the shape of his fingers is imprinted inside Neil at this point, with how ridiculous they've been about it.

Briefly, Andrew wonders if after they go through with this his sex drive will finally calm down. It would make sense.

Right now though, his mind always circles back around to it. How to feel good, how to make Neil feel better.

Andrew presses down on Neil's perineum, watching Neil tense up with want. "You'll have to be good and not come this time though," he reminds, breathing the words into Neil's warm skin.

He'd rather not overstimulate Neil to that extent, though it's an intriguing thought.

With a huff of a laugh, Neil presses his foot down on Andrew's thigh, near where his cock strains in his jeans. "The same to you."

Andrew can't wait anymore.

"Be useful," he says, pushing the condom back into Neil's hands while he finds the bottle of lube.

"Jerk," Neil says without any heat, but he doesn't go to tear the condom open. That's the thing with Neil, if he's fixated on something he can't move on. His hand hovers over Andrew's groin, questioning. "Andrew--"

"Yes," Andrew growls, and Neil continues to surprise him with how fast he can move.

Neil flings Andrew's belt to the floor, and his pants are down before he can revel in the relief of it. He winces from the cool air on his cock, his body grateful.

Neil is so considerate of Andrew's needs it's infuriating, and yet Andrew's body reacts so well for him.

Neil slides a pillow underneath himself, too eager, but Andrew realizes he's already scooting forward with need.

And still, there's nothing wrong, nothing in the air telling him to stop.

There's just...them.

Neil seems to sense this too, even as Andrew's fingers pause at his entrance, intent clear. He brings Andrew lower, so he can feel all his body heat, the ghost of what's to come.

Weight, heat, fullness.

They stop, breathe, take each other in. Neil's eyes are...Andrew doesn't have a word for them. He should be upset, and yet he can't find the emotion. It doesn't apply.

Neil takes the bottle from Andrew's hand and uncaps it, tongue sliding over his kiss swollen lips. "Okay?"

He can't sound this wrecked already. And what kind of question is that?

Andrew glares, and then kisses him, unable to help it. "Yes," he says, and a few seconds later he presses two coated fingers into Neil's body, refusing to ignore the way Neil's legs spread for him, impatient.

"Fuck," Neil moans, drawing the syllables out like he can't believe how good it is. He clenches around Andrew's fingers, hand tightening on his shoulder. Andrew's cock leaks a little at the way Neil's hips twitch, and he wants to suck a mark into the bone, dig his thumb into it...

Neil's so damn hot inside. As if feeling Andrew' control slipping, Neil reaches down to pump at his cock, smearing the precum on the shaft. Neil throws his head back with another curse, reaching for the condom and tearing it open. Andrew's mind goes haywire, letting Neil sit up to slide the condom on.

Yes, Andrew's mind yells, beats against his skull. The swarm from before is back, like they've been lurking, waiting to finally get what they wanted from the start.

Andrew pulls his fingers out; they've been doing this enough, Neil's already stretched, Andrew can slide right in and--

There's a loud thump on the door, like the sound of a gunshot. They both lock up, the bubble around them violently popped. Andrew's thoughts come to a screeching halt, the swarm stilling.

They react instantly, the product of paranoia from different outlets. It's disgusting how predictable they are; Andrew's first instinct is to cover Neil's body with his own, a shield from the threat. The knives in his armbands feel extra heavy, calling him. In the same vein, Neil shoots up, as if to push Andrew away from the line of fire.

The need to protect, to guard what's theirs.

The illusion of danger is quickly shattered though, when they hear Kevin's voice. "Guys! Why is the door locked? You better not be doing anything! We're supposed to be at the court!"

The knob of the room rattles obnoxiously, like Kevin might actually break it. Neil's brow furrows as he looks over at Andrew, as if to ask if he's hearing right. It's Kevin; not a madman, or a mafia gangster. Kevin. They both share a look of realization, one that quickly dissolves into a glare. Neil's expression goes from shock to pure, unadulterated annoyance.

"Fuck off Day!" Andrew barks, shocked by his own tone. Kevin balks from behind the door, and Andrew curses himself. He hates when he gives too much away of how he actually feels, even though he's been working through that. The urge to appear uncaring would usually still be a crutch he falls back on, but in this case it doesn't stand a chance.

He's pissed.

Neil is naked in his arms, two seconds away from being fucked into the mattress, and Andrew does not like being interrupted.

But it isn't that Kevin is stupid, he's simply that much of a perfectionist with a hardhead. Like always, he steamrolls through the clear warning with another harsh knock. "Fuck no, Andrew you told me you'd drive me tonight! You gave me your word!"

Neil makes a small choking noise when Andrew tenses.

Shit, Andrew did say that. His memory now finds it appropriate to remind him of the promise, as well as the time of day. He knew he had to take Kevin to practice in the evening because of how much the other kept complaining about their stats, but he’d also planned for this alone time with Neil. He'd lost track of time.

Andrew never loses track of time.

"No," Neil whines, falling onto his back with a huff. Andrew's not sure if he's talking about the situation or Kevin's whole existence. Andrew's not sure he's ever in the history of knowing Neil seen him look so upset about the prospect of playing exy.

It's unheard of, and doesn't help the erection still leaking onto the bed.

Andrew can't move, his mind and body in a stalemate. He can't kill Kevin, that's off the table. He gave his word, it's on him, but...

"Let's go," Kevin yells with a final bang of his fist, his footsteps stomping down the hallway with an air of royal decree. Finality.

Dread creeps into Andrew's veins, and he looks down at Neil to see the feeling reflected in his actual expression. Neil doesn't cry, at least he hasn't let himself yet, not even after Baltimore. But ...he's upset. Those blue eyes waver a little, throwing his head back in restlessness.

Andrew wants to scold him for being so dramatic, tell him it's not a big deal, but the words wouldn't be genuine.

Andrew hates this.

Neil whimpers, but even Andrew can see he knows. He knows they have to go. Neil clings to Andrew's forearms a little tighter, as if grounding himself in the moment, cherishing the last few seconds of it.

Andrew has never wanted to stay somewhere so bad before; Neil's arms are a death sentence he realizes, because he'd waste away here without a second thought.

Neil's legs tremble from the excitement still coursing through him, and Andrew lets a grunt slip when he feels the striker's ankles knock against his back.

He can't handle it. He won't be able to go.

"Andrew..." Neil whispers, and Andrew leans down in a split second to press his forehead against Neil's. It's a firm touch, almost harsh. A warning. The silver cigarette around his neck hangs down, lingering over Neil's throat.

"Don't," Andrew snaps, swallowing around the anger. He closes his eyes; Neil's are too intense, too strong right then. Calling him, lulling him. He inhales sharply, another mistake. All his senses react to Neil. "Don't do that."

I can't stop myself when you do.

Neil shivers; it's the opposite of Andrew's usual 'stay.' Because they can't, Andrew can't be tempted to. They sit there for another few seconds, unwilling to move, unable to touch more for fear of falling back into it.

Andrew nearly growls as he pulls himself away harshly, trudging towards the bathroom to try and get rid of his problem.

Behind him, he hears Neil throw a pillow to the floor. "Goddammit."

They're especially brutal at night practice.

Andrew can't resist playing; he denies every single one of Kevin's shots to the goal, and sends them far down the court each time. Kevin's practically drenched in sweat from how much Andrew is making him run, but it's not the only retribution he's receiving.

Neil is fast, faster than Kevin when he wants to be, and he intercepts every shot he can. It's a coordinated attack; they're not letting Kevin have the ball if they can help it.

For how peeved they both are, it doesn't feel like enough. Andrew isn't supposed to believe in revenge, but this isn't it he reassures himself.

It's simply justice.

Kevin curses loudly when one of Andrew's returns nearly clips his ankle. Andrew doesn't think he's ever been this ruthless at a practice, and Neil rebounds a ball a little too close to Kevin's head about five minutes later.

Andrew tries not to get too distracted by Neil's stupid determination, or his panting.

Panting. Because of exy, because they're at the court and not in bed.

Andrew's next shot rings like a bullet against the plexiglass.

By the end of it, they're all exhausted, but Kevin can barely walk. All that Raven training, for what again?

Andrew glares at him as he takes off his helmet, and oh, as if the night couldn't get more aggravating.

Kevin smiles like an idiot. "See? If you guys practiced like this all the time, we'd be unstoppable!"

Silence descends over the stadium, and Andrew is all too happy to break it before he breaks something else.

He throws his racquet on the floor, much to Kevin's horror, and stomps back to the locker room with Neil close behind.

Later that week, they have their usual lunch with Katelyn and Aaron. It's not normally a chatty affair on his end, Katelyn tends to take up most of it, filling Neil in on things and instigating petty arguments between him and Aaron.

She'll never admit she does it, Andrew figured it out. He's not about to comment on Katelyn being an instigator, since that's exactly what Neil is.

Neil. Andrew grits his teeth at the dangerous train of thought, even with the striker right next to him. Neil is usually pressed against him when they sit together, but today there's a noticeable gap.

Intentional. Probably smart considering how wound up they are.

Andrew, to channel the itch in his veins, has been assembling a card tower for the past ten minutes. He's not sure if Neil is fixating so hard on him because he's impressed, or because he's imagining what other things Andrew's hands can do. Could be doing.

Either way, Andrew almost has four levels.

"Hand me another deck," he grumbles, and Neil smiles, already having opened the next one. Their fingers brush, and an urge spikes that's entirely removed from sex. Holding Neil's hand has become routine too, something to stabilize him, and he craves it. Right then, he’d probably break his fingers though, with how coiled he is, so best to not.

Andrew holds his breath and adds a card. The tower wavers.

Katelyn's chatter is missing, unheard of. The slow slurp of her soda is the only thing audible, grating on Andrew. He wonders if she knows it is. Her stare burns; Andrew doesn't dare look at her, though he's sure she's being so analytical because she's noticed how Aaron is staring at them.

Ah yes, it seems his twin is being observational today. He should really save it for his science classes.

The gaze is shifty, suspecting, and it's setting Andrew on edge by the second. His brother is so obvious, but Andrew can't pinpoint why. When he flicks his gaze up to his twin's, the curiosity too much, Aaron's eyes squint rather than dart away. Like he knows something.

But he can't, right?

Even if he did, there's no way he would bring it up. They have a silent agreement to never mention their sex lives after the time they ran into each other at the school convenience store in the condom aisle, looked at each other, and promptly walked away.

So yes, Aaron will keep his mouth shut to keep the peace, but Andrew still can't remember when he agreed to be this easily read.

Andrew returns to his cards, convinced that's the end of it. Neil starts to squirm beside him again, and Andrew resists rolling his eyes. He's already had to squeeze Neil's thigh three times to get him to stop.

Neil keeps his lips pressed together, keeping that mouth under control, a rare event.

It's a short-lived relief.

"Well, you two are antsy."

The whole table tenses, and Aaron wheezes.

The tower in front of Andrew crashes down, poetic, and he scowls at the remains of the battlefield.

Oh, right. Ignoring Katelyn's existence is starting to be a mistake, since she can be just as blunt as Neil. At the most random times too. The difference is with her it's often an accident, and it's followed up by strings of apologies reinforced by a sheltered suburban childhood.

Neil just doesn't give a fuck.

On cue, Katelyn blushes up to her ears, choking on her cola and waving her hands in front of her face. "No omg, I didn't mean--I'm so sorry!"

But well, too late.

Aaron strides on in spite of his girlfriend's muttering, seemingly set on taking advantage of the broken ice. Andrew looks around; he can't use his knives on his brother but all he has after that is a plastic spork.

Aaron leans forward on his elbows, like he always does when he's about to tell Andrew something potentially troublesome. It's more common now, since they actually talk about things, but it puts Andrew on alert anyways. This is not Bee’s office.

"Yeah..." Aaron muses, glancing between Neil and Andrew slowly. "Are you guys...fighting?"

And it's not said in concern, or disbelief, which makes Andrew suspicious from the get go. Aaron poses the question like it's one of a few possibilities, like he's narrowing Andrew's mood down like a multiple choice question.

Like he's seen this before.

Andrew glares at him before turning to Neil, a silent exchange. Neil's expression is akin to a shrug; great, he has no idea.

The confusion between them is palpable, but it's Neil who finally turns back to Aaron with a raised brow. "No? Why would we be?" Neil asks, and well...there's a lot of things they could've expected.

None of them match the reaction they actually get.

Aaron retches instantly, startling even Katelyn. She jumps in her seat, watching Aaron double over.

"Ah gross," Aaron says with his head in his hands, scowling at them a second later. "This is some weird sex thing. Go away."

Neil blanches at the same time Katelyn sputters, but Andrew keeps his face impassive. He won't give his brother the satisfaction of knowing he's right, but the fact he is makes Andrew even more annoyed than before.

"How--" Neil says, because why would he deny it like any other person? Andrew needs to push the whole table off a cliff. Neil really needs to sharpen up his lying skills too, if he's going to expose them like this.

Katelyn better watch her back too; the twins are not in the business of being this close. He will give it to Aaron though, he rendered Neil speechless. A true feat.

Andrew stares at Aaron, who scowls back, a standoff. These four second fights are becoming normal too.

There's a steady agreement reached in those four precious seconds: let's pretend this never happened.

The condom aisle all over again.

Aaron pushes his tray away, grabbing Katelyn's hand. "No way am I explaining how I know, you guys always do this! I hate you..."

And yes, Andrew's had enough. He steadfastly ignores Aaron's statement that he ever shows this much too. He doesn't. "Eat shit and die."

"Don't mind if I do!"

"...."

Katelyn's face twists in confusion, but recovers long enough to wave at Neil, oblivious to it all. She's an enigma. She must be somewhat strong too, because she resists Aaron's tug for a few seconds. It's like he's trying to pull a boulder with dental floss.

Social etiquette is a hell of a drug.

"We'll just...leave you guys to it, have fun!" Katelyn says, and Aaron retches again from behind her. Andrew really has to do it, he realizes. He has to kill them both. Katelyn's face turns as red as a tomato, jaw opening and closing. "But not like...that way, or yes do? You deserve it!"

Andrew hates her.

"Babe..." Aaron whines behind her, probably wishing the Earth would swallow him up. Another thing they have in common on this fine day.

Katelyn smiles as she's dragged away, winking. "See you...someday!"

The whole thing is over and done in less than two minutes, and yes, Andrew was counting. He rubs his neck, expecting pain from the whiplash that was the conversation he was forced to endure.

He watches Aaron haul ass across campus from afar, and knows they'll be back playing video games together later that night.

It's the nature of things now.

Beside him, Neil bangs his head against the table with an anguished groan. He keeps his face hidden, but Andrew reaches forward to tug on his earlobe.

Drama queen.

"I hate them," Neil mutters, an echo of Andrew's thoughts. He can't see him, but he's sure Neil can feel his agreeing nod.

With a sigh, Andrew starts on a new card tower. "At least you're not related to one of them."

And well, Neil couldn't compete with that if he tried.

One of the traditions which stuck after Baltimore, and perhaps one of the only things Andrew let Neil dwell on, was the giant pile the foxes made around him the night after.

The impromptu sleepover had been one of the only times Andrew allowed himself to sleep so close to others, bordered on both sides. At the time, Neil had needed him more, and Andrew would've been next to him even if they were dangling over a ledge. His need to protect had been on the fritz, his heart unable to calm down at the thought of losing Neil, of letting him out of his sight ever again.

So naturally, his fear and distrust of others had been a non-issue. He hadn't had the space in his head to think about it. Plus, he isn't and never was afraid of the foxes.

Annoyed by them is another feeling entirely.

Once a month, Nicky makes them build a pillow fort in the common area and forces them to watch trashy movies. Aaron won't say no because Katelyn often comes, and the rest of them use it as an excuse to get drunk and rag on Nicky's tastes in films.

Neil stares at Andrew, Andrew tries not to stare back, and it ends up with them all passed out in varying positions, Neil squeezed next to Andrew as they hog the couch.

It's routine, as much as Andrew hates to admit it. He never meant to become so used to the gatherings, or attend them at all, but they've begun to grate on his nerves less.

Neil never misses a single one, and Andrew can't avoid it.

But, none of them are engineering majors, and therefore don't possess the architectural skills to make a long standing pillow fort. Andrew also refuses to help.

Therefore, the pieces of furniture they move around to make it work only end up creating fire hazards and traps for those who need to get up at any point to piss. Typically, they end up toppled over in a mess of sheets and pillows the next day, and stay there.

It's pathetic, really, like toddlers are behind it.

Currently, Andrew and Neil are lying down in the graveyard of blankets that was once their shitty tent. Andrew already knows it won't get cleaned up for days, not until one of them actually trips over something. Andrew's certainly not going to help with that either.

The other foxes must've had the same idea, since they're nowhere to be found.

'Well, I think it's time for brunch,' Allison had said before the rest of the hungover team followed her out.

Only Neil and Andrew decided to stay behind, on account of Neil's forgotten math homework he needed to get done.

Andrew really should've known.

He stares up at the ceiling, listening to the offbeat tap of Neil's pencil against his textbook. They're on Andrew's comforter, or maybe he should call it their comforter. They rarely sleep separately these days. Even the nights where Andrew needs the space, he'll wake up with an itch eventually, like something is off.

Perhaps that's why he feels this way right then; there's an untrustworthy feeling of calm. It's not something he ever liked in the past, because it was always followed by some kind of calamity, danger. Yet when he looks ahead, he finds nothing looming on the horizon. The sheets Matt taped to the walls block out the sun from the windows, and the calm only intensifies.

But, Neil is next to him, so it makes sense. He hates that it makes sense, and as steely as his memory is, he can't pinpoint when that happened.

It's fitting, that it would happen in a moment like this. It should also feel like a slap in the face, that with all their planning, all their anticipation, it would happen on a random, lazy afternoon, when the question isn't even in the air. It isn't even on their minds.

"I just think if there was an apocalypse math would come in handy," Neil says in the middle of their faux argument. Andrew won't admit to liking it, but he provokes Neil when he can, pokes and prods because it gets Neil's attention.

Not that Andrew needs Neil's attention...he's bored is all.

Insulting math is a sure fire way to get Neil in his teasing mood, sending them down a rabbit hole. All Andrew had said was that math was dumb, but now they're back on the zombie topic like it's second nature. They've fleshed it out so many times, yet there's never an unlimited amount of questions to be asked.

Last week they'd spent about thirty minutes debating on when survivors would run out of gasoline, and where the best sources would be.

Neil's smile is lazy as he rests his chin on his hand, waiting for Andrew to fire back.

Andrew leans over with sigh, put upon as he circles a random answer on Neil's homework. He doesn't get the problem, but he knows it's the wrong answer. He circles it in pen. "Neil, what did I say about trying to convince me about the pros of calculus?"

It's not going to happen.

Neil hums thoughtfully, and Andrew knows the striker's memory isn't that bad. "That if I did you'd kill me?"

Neil rests his head on his textbook, work momentarily forgotten, and has the nerve to wink.

Andrew throws the pen at him. "And yet..."

Honestly, even looking at all the numbers makes him want to gag.

Neil flops down onto his back, blowing his bangs out of his face. They need to be cut, Andrew realizes, and resists the urge to tie them back. He doesn't realize he's moving to see Neil's face more clearly until he's rolled over on his side, face above Neil's. It's their usual dance, one Andrew tries so hard to refrain from. A push and pull, so their jagged edges manage to fit together even under this failed fortress. Neil looks up at Andrew with that same cheeky grin. "That's such a you threat though, you won’t do it."

It's statements like that which will make Andrew actually go through with it one of these days.

He leans down with a glare, and the cigarette pendant around his neck hits Neil in the nose.

"Doubting me will be your downfall," Andrew reminds, and he can almost predict the moment Neil is going to bite his lip to suppress his smile. Goddamn Pavlovian response.

"You'd miss me too much," Neil states breezily, grabbing the necklace and fiddling with it. Neil's so confident about it now; Andrew remembers how in the past, he'd refrain from saying anything like that, unsure of how Andrew really felt, because Andrew wouldn't even admit it.

Sometimes he still can't, but the difference is...Neil knows.

Andrew scoffs, grabbing the math textbook Neil is using as a pillow and dangling it above their heads. Neil's head hits the floor and he yelps, eyes trained on his precious work. It's not a far reach, but Andrew's stronger than Neil, and he keeps it out of his grasp easily.

Neil flies up to lunge for it, fast as lightning, and Andrew keeps his shoulder pinned to the floor.

"H-hey!" Neil says through his laughter, and Andrew will give him credit, he tries hard. He just doesn't succeed. After failing to push up against Andrew's hold, Neil goes for the squirmy approach, wriggling enough that Andrew has to actually push some of his weight onto him to keep him down. He looks for any signs of discomfort, of panic; he knows Neil's history with being tied down, unable to run.

But, it's not a day clouded by bad memories. Neil only laughs harder in Andrew's bored face, twisting violently to reach for his shitty, overpriced textbook.

Neil doesn't even take care of the damn thing, the edges are frayed, pages falling out. It's nothing less than he deserves.

But not once does he tell Andrew to stop. Neil snorts, limbs flopping to the floor in a pathetic defeat. He's trying to scowl, but when Andrew is around, Neil's lying skills are null. Useless.

Giggles fade away into light huffs of breath, and Andrew quirks a brow. Neil's usually so stubborn, he wouldn't dare give up. Then again, maybe he's enjoying this.

Neil's eyes crinkle at the edges; for once, Andrew doesn't have to look away from the light in those eyes. Which...is strange. The urge to reject it, to push it away isn't there, not even swimming beneath the surface. It's more common nowadays, yes, but not any less suspicious. Andrew sifts for it, like an anchor, something familiar, and finds nothing. Like years and years of rust wore away the shackle, for the moment.

Neil seems to realize it too; his smile falls slowly, his chest heaving with the exertion.

Panting.

And oh, how predictable Andrew has become. It's not a good thing, he knows, but it's the grave he's chosen to lie in.

Neil's eyes bore into his, and their faces are a lot closer than Andrew realized. At some point, he must've moved. At some point, his body sought Neil out before his mind could catch up.

Isn't that interesting?

Interesting, not taxing. Alluring.

He used to hate that word, but never before has it sounded so fitting.

He watches Neil swallow, follows the bob of his adam's apple and the strong line of his jaw. Andrew scoots his hand up, tapping the beauty mark he knows is right behind Neil's ear, and those blue eyes catch fire, burning Andrew from the inside.

The dormant flame, the one that's been building for days, weeks, seems to finally meet kerosene.

He wants to kiss Neil. He wants to do more than kiss Neil.

He wants whatever Neil will give him. He wants to give Neil more than he ever thought he could.

It's a sudden, irresistible craving.

Neil's breath hitches, and his hand slides tentatively up Andrew's forearm, like he's dizzy despite lying down. Andrew's hips twitch just from that realization alone, from knowing he can affect Neil at the snap of his finger, trap them away from the rest of the world by pure feeling alone.

"Um..." Neil whispers, at a complete loss for words. The textbook falls from Andrew's hands; he doesn't care what happens to it, and neither does Neil in the moment.

Andrew's hand slides around the back of Neil's neck, cradling it, and the striker's pulse is like a rabbit's.

The only difference is, he's running right to Andrew.

"Um," he repeats, mockingly, and it's the last push Neil needs. He surges up at the same time Andrew crashes forward, their lips meeting for a kiss that sends Andrew's nerves into a frenzy.

It's all over for Neil's homework, after that.

Neil shoves his scratch paper and all his supplies away harshly, making room, and Andrew is on top of him in the next second.

It's not planned, Andrew realizes too late. They didn't plan this. This is not time he scheduled, carved out. Every movement is haphazard, limbs knocking into each other to try and fit right, their bodies never quite close enough. Neil's elbow hits the coffee table nearby at one point, and Andrew swallows his wince. The striker recovers instantly, so desperate for more.

Neil's a live wire, hiking up his own shirt before his train of thought zips somewhere else, and then he's tugging at Andrew's shirt, his belt, all silent pleas which scream at Andrew.

They're saying 'here' and 'more' and 'give me.'

For all the times Andrew has to tell Neil to stop fidgeting, now he has no room to.

Andrew breaks off the kiss messily, bumping his nose against Neil's cheek before pressing a firm kiss to his collarbone. He'd think his lips were searing from how Neil's body jumps from it, and Andrew lingers there long enough to feel the vibration from Neil's groan. But he's impatient.

Impatient. That's Neil's thing, not his, but Andrew has no reason to put an end to it.

"Yes, yes," Neil breathes, as if to reinforce that thought. Andrew kisses down the length of Neil's body; his chest, his abdomen, his hip, all firm and deep like he's trying to keep Neil from floating away.

Neil pulls lightly at Andrew's hair before cradling his face, guiding him back up for a kiss with zero aim. It's alright, there's no quota. No three strikes policy, his brain reminds him, stupidly. Neil huffs a laugh when Andrew kisses the side of Neil's lips on accident before planting one right on him. In fact, he does it twice to make up for it. Twice, three times...four...again...

"T-the door," Neil somehow manages to get out in between his moans, and oh, Andrew forgot.

What a plot twist; Neil's the one thinking ahead.

"Shit," Andrew mutters, glaring at the door and all who might dare to walk through it right then. He's not having a repeat of last time.

He gets up, or tries to. It's surprisingly a challenge with Neil there. Before Andrew can stand, the redhead pulls him down for another kiss, keeping him there. Only spite allows Andrew to actually get up, the desire to prove he's not that weak, even though Neil looks downright devastated when he's left alone on the floor for the .3 seconds it takes Andrew to lock them in.

Idiot.

Andrew not only locks the door, he uses the bolt too. If anyone wants into this dorm, they're going to have to break the damn thing down.

Neil is already waiting for him in the doorway to the bedroom when Andrew turns around. He moved fast, but Andrew can't comment on the eagerness. He hadn't even thought about moving to the bed.

But yes, doing it on the floor would've been a bad idea. Andrew tries not to think too much about how he probably would've continued no problem.

From how he pauses, it must be obvious. Neil quirks a brow, and one day Andrew's going to tell him to stop adopting his mannerisms without permission. "You can do me against other surfaces later."

Andrew doesn't dignify that with a response, but he takes it as the promise it is.

And, because Neil is the worst, he reaches out a hand for Andrew to take, knowing there's no other decision for him. No, there's no other decision he wants to make. Neil doesn't care what they do, as long as it's with Andrew.

The striker proves that again and again, and the clouded parts of Andrew always wait for that to shatter. But Neil doesn't expect too much of him; they mess up, they step back, but there's never another direction Andrew wants to walk in.

Nothing would stop him, at this point.

He has Neil in his lap on their bed in the next moment; he doesn't keep track of how it happened. From how Neil is keening, Andrew must've picked him up. So easy, Andrew thinks.

Neil isn't easy about anything but this; Andrew's strong hold, keeping him upright.

He practically melts in Andrew's arms, trying to wriggle closer. Andrew's never felt a good weight on him before Neil came into his life. It's addictive almost, the light pressure, the knowledge Neil will move away as soon as he needs to.

Sometimes, when Andrew really isn't in control of his thoughts, he thinks about shackling Neil to him, so they're both tied together. It's a stupid, selfish thought, and unnecessary too.

Doomed, he thinks. He should stop...he...

Neil's hands find Andrew's neck, because of course they do, and Andrew lets himself sigh into Neil's lips.

No, why the hell would he stop?

Neil eats up every noise Andrew gives him, a concession which is becoming more frequent, and the striker's hips start to roll slowly. Encouraging.

Andrew growls into the kiss, cupping the front of Neil's jeans to feel him twitch, hard for Andrew already. Neil breaks the kiss and throws his head back; possessively, Andrew wonders how many people on campus would kill to see Neil like this. And they never will.

Andrew pulls off Neil's shirt hastily, and the striker's hands are back on his neck, never satisfied. Andrew feels the chain around his neck move from Neil playing with it, twisting it around his lithe fingers as he strokes Andrew's skin. In an instant, Andrew has a moment of clarity.

'Get me one,' Neil had said. Andrew just might be able to now.

He pushes the thought away to reevaluate later when he's not trying to make Neil look spotted.

The hickies from a few days before aren't exactly faded, but Andrew makes them fresh anyways. That one guy from Katelyn's class has been staring at Neil again, and well, if Andrew's jacket isn't enough to relay the message...

"Ohh," Neil sighs when Andrew leaves another bruise on his collarbone, licking the sensitive skin gently.

This will have to do.

Andrew doesn't even realize he's taking his time until he's not. Neil's impatience reaches its limit, the lust in his eyes threatening to roll Andrew onto his back. It happened once before, Neil riding Andrew, clothes on.

It's something they'll have to explore again.

But, Andrew reads the room. He plops Neil off his lap and onto the bed, standing to rid himself of his shirt before moving to his jeans. This part is always a little slower; Neil has seen all of him, they've made out naked, showered together frequently, but it's still overwhelming for the first beat.

Neil's gaze is hungry though, jeans messily pulled down to his own thighs, right where the material has a hard time moving. The hesitation is wiped clean from the stare, but more so the fact Andrew wants his hands to be on Neil now.

He kicks aside his pants and underwear and has to jerk Neil's chin up to get him focused back on his face and not his cock. Neil glares, like he can sense the smirk behind Andrew's mask.

It'll be inside you soon, quit it.

Neil's clothes join his quickly on the floor. Andrew will deal with it later, maybe.

Neil slides down onto his back, and Andrew fits right against him, their cocks brushing on Neil's stomach.

"Fuck," Andrew grits out, and Neil shivers. Andrew strokes Neil firmly, from base to tip, smearing the precum wherever he can. He likes Neil like this, messy and unrestrained, so... "Good..."

So good for me.

Neil's eyes snap up to Andrew's, drunk on the small praise, ready for more, ready to do whatever it takes to get more. Neil's hands come up to grip Andrew's forearms, and for the first time in all their tries, the feeling of the fabric annoys Andrew.

He doesn't want them there. He wants the armbands gone. Off.

As if waiting for himself to rethink that, he stares at where Neil's hands are clenched in the fabric, trying to find the panic, the resistance.

"Andrew?" Neil whispers after the silence goes on too long, fingers uncurling. One step ahead, if he has to be. Technically he is, but for different reasons than usual.

Andrew peels his armbands off, setting them on the floor, scars on full display. Ugly, ruined things. A sign of his struggle, survival.

Things Neil understands all too well.

The redhead doesn't so much as flinch; eyes softening into something Andrew doesn't see from him any other time. Andrew has trusted him with this before, on the rare occasion, but Neil still treats it like a gift each time.

"I told you not to look at me like that," Andrew reminds, uselessly. The words ride the sound of their harsh breathing, pulled apart and drowned out like nothing.

Real, true nothing.

Not...

"I always look at you like this," Neil says, and he probably means it to be mocking. It doesn't carry.

"Can I?" Neil asks, but Andrew is already guiding Neil by the back of his neck, bringing his lips to kiss the scars firmly. Andrew doesn't move while he does; Neil is careful about it, never grazing his teeth or pressing too hard, but it's not enough to overwrite the bad memories completely.

It's a salve, at most, but that's more than Andrew had before.

Neil's fingers glide over the raised skin, his scarred forearms meeting Andrew's own. They are a pair, aren't they? Andrew doesn't believe people deserve anything, good or bad. There is simply reality.

Yet...knowing this is his...

"Neil," he says after a while, and Neil pulls back instantly, sighing. Andrew's fingers are kneading the back of his neck, just how Neil likes. He's run away from reality for so long, they both have. Now they're so deep in it, they can't leave.

So, Andrew will take all the parts of reality he never claimed before.

Andrew reaches over to fiddle with his bedside drawer, pulling out one of the foil packets. The striker in his arms jumps, hips twitching, and Andrew never feels like laughing but that look... Neil is ridiculous.

The redhead's eyes home in on the condom, right when Andrew speaks. He sounds breathless. "I need an answer still."

It's what matters most, even with Neil spread out naked beneath him, he needs it. Neil's stare slides over to Andrew, and it's unfair. Andrew has to close his eyes; a small sliver of panic runs through him, finally.

But it's not about sharing this, it's not about being exposed. It's a weird impulse to shield Neil away from everything, so nothing bad can ever happen to him again.

So nothing can take him away.

Because, how is Andrew supposed to move on from this? It's not a path he's let his mind go down, but he will at some point. Contingencies, back-up plans, to prepare for a day where Neil may be gone.

All plans that will fall devastatingly short.

"Yes," Neil whispers, and Andrew opens his eyes to see that smug smile, bringing him back to the moment like his crisis is null. Like Neil will never leave, and Andrew is a fool to think he'd be rid of him so easily. "Let's see what all the fuss is about."

Andrew does huff then, something akin to a laugh, and Neil's eyes brighten.

"I don't expect it to be any good," he says against Neil's lips, claiming them as he tears open the condom.

He feels Neil nod, pressed so close. The heat is back, the desperation, and Andrew's hips buck forward involuntarily at Neil's voice. "Mhm, probably terrible."

"Awful."

"We'll need a lot of practice..."

"Shut up Neil." Andrew slides the condom on and uncaps the lube. It should be quick now, he'll be buried inside Neil soon, especially because--

Neil spreads his legs, licking his lips at the sight of Andrew's cock between them. "I'm probably already stretched since...we--"

Andrew swipes his slick fingers against Neil's entrance, feels it already clench around nothing. Neil shudders in relief, humming from the promise of it. Andrew shakes his head. "We? You mean you always want to ride my fingers any chance you get."

He doesn't give Neil the chance to glare; he presses two fingers in, and Neil's body takes him so well, so smoothly. He avoids his prostate, if he even takes them there then Neil will beg for Andrew to just make him come like that, blissed out with nothing else on his mind. Not even exy.

"Don't you...always me---oh shit right there," Neil sighs, laughing because he doesn't know what else to do. Andrew wonders how intensely he feels it; he watches Neil's toes curl, his legs trying to find purchase. Andrew dutifully pins them to his side, knowing they'll eventually move.

Neil's legs are strong; last time, when they weren't careful, he kicked one out mid orgasm and broke the lamp by the couch.

They never told Nicky what happened to it.

"I will if it's the truth," Andrew says, and scissors Neil with three fingers just enough to ease his own mind. Not even Neil pushing back on him can calm the distress entirely. Andrew knows the feeling of his cock stretching Neil open will still be new, uncomfortable, but he'll be slow.

He won't get ahead of himself.

"It feels good," Neil states, surprisingly firm despite how wrecked he looks. There's a dreamy quality to his eyes, but the tone gets his attention. This is Neil, leaving no room for argument. "Andrew, I mean it. It all feels so good with you."

'Only you,' Neil had said, kicking his stupid legs back and forth all those months ago, like being with Andrew made him...happy. After so many things should've wiped that feeling out, torn it to shreds with blades like Neil's skin.

But no. Neil looks at him this way still, finds room to feel more and pushes Andrew to feel it too.

Neil will only ever share this with Andrew. As much as Andrew tries not to believe that deep down, because these things will eventually end in disappointment, it's slowly starting to carry the weight of a fact. A truth.

"You're staring," Neil says lightly, playful, and he's right.

Andrew glares at him, a silent admonition. Don't get too full of yourself.

"I'm waiting for something to be wrong," Andrew says, unable to help himself. It's the truth, part of it. He won't tell Neil all the unasked for revelations he's having, but that's the gist isn't it? He's waiting for this to be wrong, knowing it's impossible.

And instead of being shocked or offended, Neil just nods, kissing Andrew slow and deep. When he pulls away, the crinkle at the corner of his eyes is back. Andrew doesn't hope for much, but he hopes that stays. That way when Neil is old, he'll have wrinkles. It will be proof that Neil was able to grow old.

"And is there something wrong?" Neil asks, hand curving to the small of Andrew's back and never lower.

"No," Andrew answers, simply, honestly.

There's really not.

"Then get in me," Neil demands, not harshly, but laced with a wildness Andrew doesn't want to tame. He wants Neil to always be like this, desperate for his cock.

Andrew can't refuse.

He slicks himself up, pushes the tip against Neil's hole, and locks eyes with the striker. He wants to catalogue every moment of this. That way, he'll remember Neil when he can't remember anything else. He hopes that day comes.

With a stuttering breath, he pushes in. It's gradual, but not slow enough to delay things. That's what he wants to do, but he prioritizes what's better for Neil.

Already, Neil is trembling, panting cut off as he takes in the feeling of Andrew halfway deep in him.

"Breathe," Andrew snaps, grabbing the back of Neil's neck and squeezing. "Hey."

"I'm okay," Neil says, and it's shaky, breathy. His head lolls to the side, and there's a new smile on his face. It's no less stupid, but it sets Andrew's nerves on fire. He has to hold the sheets in the death grip to keep from thrusting forward, especially when Neil says--"I'm way more than okay."

Neil's expression is what Andrew would define as cloud nine, and thank fuck he knows Neil well enough to pin his hips down in the next second, because Neil tries to push himself all the way down on Andrew's cock.

Andrew doesn't care how much they've been messing around, Neil's trying to hurt himself doing that.

Or kill Andrew.

The movement makes him tremble, but he won't move, refuses to. Neil whines in protest, and Andrew understands the pause is mostly for himself to catch up with this new feeling. Neil's gonna have to deal with it.

It's Neil's fault anyways; Andrew brings the back of his hand to his mouth, reining in all of his urges. It's so fucking tight, the heat is unbearable in a way Andrew's never felt before. It's a separate kind of pleasure, all consuming, and paired with the knowledge it's Neil just threatens to send him over the edge.

He's inside of Neil, Neil's first, and Neil's body language is practically begging to be fucked. Neil's legs wrap around him, coaxing him, and dammit Andrew will not be the first to come here.

He risks looking down for the next part; Andrew takes a deep breath and pushes forward until his balls press flush against Neil's backside, and he chokes on the groan he tries to keep in. Neil's hole twitches around him, slick with lube and tinted pink. Andrew can't resist, he reaches down to trace the stretched rim, feeling Neil's squirm from it.

Andrew's not sure what prompted it, maybe pure disbelief. They're connected, Neil feels good. Neil--

"Oh my god, that's awesome," Neil says with a laugh, nearly on the edge of disbelief himself.

Andrew can't stand him. "Your dirty talk needs work," he says with a glare, and tries not to click his tongue from how strained he sounds. That perfect control, reservation...gone.

"I'm just being honest," Neil huffs, rolling his hips as best he can when Andrew still has them in a death grip.

Quit it.

All the little movements, the slightest shift...Andrew feels it so much, down his spine and through his legs. It should be terrifying, but there's an eagerness there instead.

"That's rare." Andrew's voice breaks off a bit at the end, barely detectable, but Neil moans shamelessly from it. He could probably get off just from Andrew's reactions alone.

"F-fuck," Neil sighs out, extra emphasis on the 'k' which sends Andrew's brain further into a spiral. He tries not to tremble when Neil's hands paw at his own abdomen, like he can't take the feeling, how intoxicating it is. "I'm going to come so fast, I'm sor--"

Neil never learned how to keep his apologies to himself.

And that's enough to make Andrew move; or so he tells himself, really he might just explode if he doesn't. He bucks forward gently, or as gentle as someone like him can manage, testing the waters.

That time, he groans, no chance of hiding it. It's swallowed up by Neil's gasp, and one of Andrew's hands buries itself on Neil's shoulder, grounding them both. The warmth...it's incredible.

"Idiot," Andrew says, and rolls his hips again. It's harder this time, channeling parts of his frustration. His balls slap against Neil's ass, loud in the small dorm room, and they both shiver. "Don't apologize."

Don't ever apologize when it's like this.

And to think, Andrew's pretty sure this must suck when put on the spectrum of good sex. He can't get enough.

"More Andrew, more," Neil breathes out, and Andrew starts to thrust in earnest. He'll listen to Neil, just this once.

The room quickly heats up; Andrew's body refuses to go more than a few seconds before swallowing Neil's moans in a searing kiss again and again. Their breath mixes, hot and frantic in the space between them. There isn't much. Neil's lips are like water, or maybe Andrew just needs to do this or he'll risk being just as loud as his boyfriend.

Andrew's thrusts are like a lot of things he does; precise, unrelenting. He's a fast learner too, maybe more so than Neil. He catalogues every yelp and moan that leaves Neil's mouth, familiarizes himself with what gets every specific little reaction.

If he presses down on Neil's stomach mid thrust, he gets a screaming 'yes,' if he pauses a little too much he gets a long and drawn out whine. Andrew doesn't usually study, but in this case he does so without complaint. In less than two minutes, he's made Neil work up a sweat, and Andrew's glad he has this now, a workout Neil would be all too happy to do. Andrew watches Neil's abdomen flex, and wants to lick every ridge of muscle.

There's almost too much to do and not enough time, the heat begins to coil in Andrew's groin, a warning. He...doesn't want it to be over.

"Holy shit, fuck yes, like that," Neil babbles, as harsh and cutting as his personality. Andrew takes all of it, unafraid of being sliced open. The enthusiastic consent keeps Andrew's demons at bay, but he knows they're not for his benefit.

Neil just can't keep his mouth fucking shut.

He pins down one of Neil's thighs to adjust the angle, making his skin wet with lube. Every push is slower, but powerful. It might just be that he can't get enough of being as deep as he can, seeing Neil's legs curl from how well he's being stretched.

Andrew bites off another moan before it can fully form, but Neil catches it with that same brightness in his eyes, like he has any room to talk when he's falling apart on Andrew's cock.

"You like it," the striker accuses, and Andrew hates having to repeat himself: stop stating the obvious.

"Do I?" Andrew responds, petulantly, and Neil smirks before clenching around Andrew's cock when he pushes in as deep as he can go. The groan he lets out has Neil's pupils eating up the remaining sliver of blue. Darkness, a void, but Andrew has never felt more alive staring into them.

"You're the worst," Andrew growls, snapping his hips to make Neil yelp. See, right there, that's what I mean. "So mouthy."

"Get me to shut up," Neil says with a laugh, like he can't wait.

Andrew freezes, looks up at Neil to make sure he heard right. And yes, Neil is staring right at him, challenging and soft at once. He caught it, he caught it no matter how Andrew tried to hide it.

The slowness, the oh so subtle way he held himself back.

Even now, even like this.

"Fuck me Andrew," Neil begs, hands fisting in the sheets by his head. "You're supposed to fuck me until it's all I can think about."

Andrew hears the words buried beneath: 'I can take all of you.' There's provocation too, an understanding that Andrew never goes back on his word.

This time, he's glad for it.

He leans down to bite at Neil's ear lightly, pushing himself in deeper before rocking forward. And, because Andrew is so used to being the conductor of Neil's body, he kisses him right when his mouth falls open. Exactly on cue.

"Tell me how it feels," Andrew says as he pistons forward, so close, too close. He doesn't care how gone he sounds, how out of breath and delirious. He needs to hear it.

Neil grunts after a particularly rough thrust. "I...it's--"

Andrew's movements are frenzied, not as precise as before, but this time he's allowing himself something. He's chasing his own end, without guilt, the edges of his vision already starting to white out from the heightening pleasure. Selfish, but Neil's wrecked moan is far from displeased.

"No words?" Andrew mocks. "You must like it."

Neil's legs wrap tight around his back, pushing him closer, and Neil's hands come up to push Andrew's sweaty bangs out of the way. "So deep, c'mon Andrew..."

And he does c'mon. His thighs meet Neil's in rapid succession, his pace spiking. Neil's ass, as much as Andrew hates it, is perfect and soft. It cushions every thrust, Andrew can feel it squeeze and tighten.

It's almost a shame he can't see Neil from the back...one day.

"Shit," Neil grabs his own hair, throwing his head back as he leans up on his elbows, trying to meet every one of Andrew's movements. There's no finesse; it is their first time, truly. They meet out of sync more often than not, but it's hectic, drenched in want. "Yes, yes, yes."

It's more addictive than smoke, than sugar.

"Come for me Neil," Andrew commands, grip tight on the back of Neil's neck, the pressure too much, unbelievable. He finally grabs Neil's cock, leaking obscenely between them and swollen at the tip. He pumps him mercilessly, firm, the way Neil likes it. "Let me feel it."

He wants every aspect of this burned into his memory, forever. As much as his eyes want to flutter shut, to bask in his orgasm, he wants to see Neil come undone.

He does, and Andrew doesn't assign the term 'beautiful' to anything. It's throwaway, and meaningless. But...Neil is a sight.

The striker's orgasm hits him like a speeding train; his hips stutter, and the sound he makes probably hurts his throat with how it tears through the air. Andrew watches, enraptured, as Neil turns over, body involuntarily twitching and curling in on itself. His stomach is a mess. Neil's cum lands high, dripping on his torso, and it's a shame Andrew has no time to lick it up in the moment.

Neil's thighs begin to shake from the intensity of his orgasm; he's not sure he's ever seen Neil come so hard. Certainly not enough for this, for his legs to tremble like he forgot how to move them; Andrew pins Neil's legs down, and Neil doesn't panic. He knows it's Andrew, and besides, he's too far gone. Andrew basks in the vibrations he can feel, uncontrolled, unrestrained.

And then, then Neil has the nerve to smile, completely blissed out of his mind.

It undoes him.

He thrusts forward twice more; they're stuttering, shaky movements, and then he's spilling into the condom. Andrew buries his moan in Neil's neck, muffled but still louder than he's ever allowed in the past.

'All the fuss' Neil had said. Andrew hates agreeing with others, but...he understands. He shares this with Neil often, coming apart down Neil's throat or in his hand, but this orgasm is a tidal wave. It's immensely satisfying, knowing he's inside Neil when it happens, that they're as connected as they can be. Andrew rocks forward over and over again, milking the feeling for all it's worth until he's too sensitive to move.

His stomach jumps, like he was dropped from one of those terrible amusement park rides, except he thinks this feeling is one he'd chase again.

Neil's body melts beneath him, muscles relaxing with a pleased hum. It's only then Andrew is aware of how loud their breathing is, filling the room. He wonders how it can all be contained. Space is a funny thing. He always required too much of it, an excess.

In fact right then, he anticipates the feeling. He's coming down, nerves simmering with the lingering heat, and his brain is foggy. Any moment now, he will need to break this quiet calm. He clings to it, until he can't.

He slides out of Neil with a shiver, tying off the condom and throwing it in the nearby bin. Neil whimpers from the separation, and Andrew's heartbeat jolts.

He's getting predictable, but he can't take his eyes off Neil. Neil, who is barely starting to blink away the post-orgasm haze in his mind. Andrew can track it, the moment Neil sees Andrew, and understands that it's over.

His legs are still--

"Shaking," Andrew comments, his hand gliding over Neil's inner thigh. The vibrations answer back, and Neil sighs from the touch. Andrew's heart reacts again, and it's familiar. He knows he's felt this before...

A heat, one that won't go away. Neil sits up, and Andrew scoots forward, unwilling to let Neil go too far from him. Like he's still craving, still--

"Yeah..." Neil whispers, hand resting on top of Andrew's. The redhead laughs at how his own body trembles, but there's a flash of insecurity in those dark eyes.

A consequence of Neil's lack of inexperience, he sometimes doesn't know if his reactions are normal, acceptable. Like Andrew won't be replaying this in his head for days, weeks.

"That's new," Andrew says, and he feels so stupid about it. He should be asking if Neil is okay, checking him over for injuries, making sure that haze in his eyes isn't some horrible predecessor to something else, because surely Andrew went too far, and--

"Can't...can't help it," Neil says with a laugh, and that damn smile. Andrew's muscles twitch, his mind halting in its initial terror. Neil looks...more than okay. He looks how Andrew feels, and it startles him to realize what that means.

Because Andrew feels...good.

Andrew freezes from that one, abysmal thing. He feels good. Over a year ago, it would've been a miracle to feel at all.

"It won't stop," Neil fills the silence, when Andrew is quiet for too long, eyes boring into Neil's face. The striker ducks his head, almost shyly, a word Andrew would never associate with him in a million years.

Neil's only shy when he's on the cusp of ruining someone's life for fun. The thought makes Andrew's entire being jump.

And that calmness isn't just calmness, it's the beginning of desire and yearning, rushing back with the promise of intensity. It's deja vu, this singing of his nerves. Andrew's not sure why; he expected a long talk, maybe a panic, or the itch to call Bee once all this actually happened.

Instead, he's left with this. Nothing behind it, nothing waiting in the shadows. He's sure there will be, in the future.

But his mind, in a rare fucking concession, gave him this.

"Then don't stop," Andrew nearly demands, because right then, Neil can't possibly show him enough.

Neil perks up, head lifting, performing the same search Andrew is so familiar with. He travels the lengths and lines of Andrew's face, just looking. Someday, Andrew will be okay enough to ask what Neil sees.

Whatever he finds, it makes him grin, a thing which Andrew will always hate him for. "Mm, okay."

Neil's legs wrap around him slowly, loosely, as if to keep Andrew nestled there. It gives Andrew the chance to break away, to retreat, and Neil won't take offense.

But the intent is clear; he wants Andrew there, wants Andrew close.

That same clinginess takes root in Andrew's veins, already missing the heat of Neil's body.

He wades through the waters of his head, one last time, because surely that can't be right. He's been asking that a lot lately, telling himself things can't be right when all evidence shows they are.

"Do you need to go?" Neil asks, echoing the question burning in Andrew's head. Does he?

The itch is back, but it's not bad, it's not wary. It's telling him to get closer.

When too many seconds pass without Andrew moving, Neil starts to create the space for him, to back away. Andrew grabs his ankle so fast Neil jumps, and he yanks him forward, showing off. Soon, Neil is flush against Andrew again. It's right, it pushes all the correct buttons inside him. When Neil feels the beginnings of Andrew's desire, semi-hard and leaking against his body, his eyes widen.

But well, Andrew did always like to give him a verbal answer.

Lazily, he tilts his head, regarding Neil in all his glory. Disheveled hair, drying cum on his chest, open and ready to take Andrew as many times as they both want. No, no reason to leave at all. Many reasons to stay.

"I don't think I'm done with you yet," Andrew deadpans, but he doesn't mean it. Neil will know he doesn't. They can end it here, if they need to. He watches Neil process the words, the slow blink. Neil's damn eyelashes are so long, even the dumbfounded stare seems sultry.

If there is a creator, Neil was made just to fuck with Andrew, knowing Andrew will do nothing to stop him.

Neil's confusion bursts into joy, blush high on his scarred cheekbones, and when he lunges forward into Andrew's arms, Andrew is all too ready to catch him.

#andreil #aftg #andrew minyard #neil josten #all for the game

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talaricula · 7 years

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AHHHH THIS IS A DAY OF EXCELLENT NEWS

switi can come see me not only the weekend of the 20th but also the 13th MOAR SWITI!!!!!! i am so happy her schedule this year allows me to SEE HER MORE!!!!!!!!!!

i can start preparing my master’s thesis this year and will have to write it for real next year so i had to pick a subject and a prof and since the assistant who guided me last year told me there was material for a master’s thesis in my bachelor paper, i emailed him about whether i could do that and which prof i’d best ask, and he just emailed back saying he talked to THE human rights specialist prof at our uni (she was considered for the post of belgian judge at the echr so like WOW) and that she wants to be my promotor and that he’ll keep guiding me???? so basically i get to write about the implementation of the echr judgments on gender recognition in the legislation of the member countries of the council of europe for a woman i admire A LOT and who is the prof you want to study with if you want a career in human rights i am????? so screechy rn?????

#WHAT A JOYOUS DAY MY FRIENDS #WHIIIIII #*bounces around A Lot*

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satorisa · 7 years

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Lift the Veil - Chapter 7

Lift the Veil - Chapter 7: Take Me

Rating: T

Summary: After living in Tokyo for the past six years, she decides to head back to Azumano to escape the big city. However, she now has to face everything that she tried to flee from all those years ago. How exactly will she fare when the pages of a long forgotten book start turning once more?

Read On: FanFiction.Net, Archive of Our Own

...I said I would upload this on Thursday or Friday, but I was apparently fooling myself. Would’ve uploaded this earlier today, but I am tired from canoeing (it’s terrifying when the boat capsizes) and decided to practice some voice acting today. (TBH I REALLY SHOULD BE STUDYING FOR MY MIDTERMS RN.)

The song used for this chapter doesn’t really add much to the story, but since I did listen to it while writing most of this chapter, and since it is a good song, you can listen to it here. For now, enjoy (or suffer) reading about our two leads being hella awkward in this chapter.

Chapter 7 – Take Me

We need some time to mend this broken trust…

I woke up to the scent of miso soup and steamed rice accompanied by whatever was beautifully sizzling. Sitting up, I turned to see Ritsuko in the kitchen, back towards me, dutifully manning the stove with her hair up in a messy bun. She spun around to put something in the sink, and I laughed at the pink, frilly apron she wore.

“Good morning to you, too, Risa!” she called.

“Sorry! It’s just…” I couldn’t finish my thought and burst into a fit of giggles.

“Don’t judge me! It was the only thing left at the store when I went!”

I shook my head at her blatant lie before getting up and folding my blanket. Sauntering over to the kitchen, I asked Ritsuko if she needed any help. She raised her eyebrow in skepticism and told me to set the table instead, pointing at the cabinet where she kept the dinnerware with her spatula.

“So, um…” she started as I took out some matching plates and bowls. “Are you okay? Did you sleep well?”

“Why ask?”

“Well, I woke up in the middle of the night to hear you rambling on about Dark, light, and that blond guy with the spiky hair from those video games,” she explained, and I had to stifle a laugh at how she got “Cloud” from “Krad.” “I thought you were awake, so I went to check on you, but you were fast asleep, squirming around like crazy. Did you have a terrible nightmare or something?”

“I don’t remember dreaming about anything last night,” I told her while setting the table, arranging everything as neatly as I could. “But it sounds like I had my recurring nightmare again.”

“About video game characters?” I nodded with a straight face, imagining her puzzled expression and finding amusement from this hilarious misunderstanding. “Well…um…alright?” She paused for a bit. “Have you had that checked out?”

“I’ve never had a reason to go to anyone about them.”

“Well, if you say so…”

When I finished setting the table, I returned to the kitchen to convince Ritsuko that I wasn’t incompetent in the kitchen, but she only brushed me off and laughed, calling me names relating to the weird content of my dreams. When she finished cooking, we sat down at the table before digging into the meal. We weaved through moments of silence and chatter, talking about everything but anything related to last night and my nightmare. (She did, however, keep pestering me about why I was dreaming about video games when I wasn’t an avid gamer, so I gave in and told her that she had misheard the name I spoke before she finally let the topic go.)

“Hey, were you planning on heading home soon?” she asked after finishing her food.

“Nope. Why ask?”

“I have to head to the store soon, and I don’t want to keep you here any longer than you want to. I’ll be back before dinner though, so do you think you can be alone until then?”

“I’m not a kid, you know.”

“I know, but I can’t help but worry about you.”

“I’ll be fine.” Getting up with the dirty dishes, I placed them in the sink to soak for a bit. I appreciated Ritsuko’s concern, but damn, it was suffocating.

“Alrighty.”

She went into her bedroom, and I wiped down the table before floating over to her bookshelf. When I finally found the book I gifted her once upon a time, wedged in between a worn fashion catalogue and a thick textbook, she came out with her hair styled, a face full of makeup, and a well-coordinated outfit that I was wishing I had.

“Stay safe and enjoy yourself!” She closed the front door behind her, leaving me alone to read a book I haven’t touched in years and would probably regret picking up again.

In high school, during one of the many afternoons I spent holed up in the school’s library, I stumbled upon an out-of-place book sandwiched in between thick tomes detailing what seemed like the finer points of sociology. Its cursive English title on the spine stood out to me, so I took the book off the shelf to read its synopsis and checked it out the moment I realized it was a romance, immediately ditching my afternoon study plans to read it.

After I found myself thoroughly enjoying the book, I messaged Ritsuko saying that she had to read this whenever she found some free time before messaging Hiwatari, wondering if he could meet up with me that evening. Whenever he was swamped with work, I studied at the library since the Niwa household was too distracting for me if I was by myself. To make up for his absence, Hiwatari would always call me once he returned from work, guiding me through assignments and topics beyond me or keeping me company through time-consuming projects and last minute crunches because of my terrible habit of procrastinating.

After getting a message from him saying that he could grab dinner with me, I headed over to the family restaurant close to the police station and reserved a table. Mostly undisturbed, save for the waiter intermittently asking if I needed anything, I plowed through the book, miraculously finishing it despite having just started it earlier that day.

Unfortunately, Hiwatari arrived shortly after I read its ending, and he rushed over in concern when he saw me trying to discreetly cry into my hands, asking me what was wrong until I shoved the book into his face. Sighing, he slipped into seat across from me before resignedly questioning what the “accursed” novel was about. Through my blubbering, I somehow coherently explained its plot, pausing twice through my summary to order and thank the waiter when the food came out.

“Risa, please, your food’s getting cold,” he interrupted when he realized that I wasn’t even close to the halfway point of the story. “Just lend me the book, and I’ll finish it later.”

“Thank you for…ordering the food…and listening.” I sniffled before digging into my omelet rice.

“You’re welcome, but please don’t worry me like that again. Coming here and seeing you cry after you asked me to meet up with you stressed me out more than my work itself. And then I come to find out that all this fuss was over a book…” He jokingly glared at me, and I laughed.

I eventually cheered up from my food and company, and I left the restaurant with Hiwatari accompanying me back home. He called me later that night, nestled in an ottoman while I was somehow comfortable on the kitchen floor as we whispered the night away.

The next day, Hiwatari picked me up right after school and bought me two copies of the book: one for my personal use and the other for me to give to Ritsuko. (He personally didn’t like the book, but that’s because we didn’t share the same tastes in genres. He did acknowledge my books when he found them well-written, and he told me this one was much better than the usual drivel I read. [I smacked him because I knew he was only saying that to avoid getting hit, but he laughed at how little faith I had in the veracity of his opinions.])

In the span of a week, after my annotations and bookmarks marred every page, the book looked like it had years of constant wear and tear. Despite being my favorite book, it had become too difficult for me to ever read through again after graduating high school. I couldn’t bring myself to destroy it or give it away either, so I kept it perched on my desk as a reminder and a silent promise to myself.

After completely reading through Ritsuko’s copy, I heard the door ring. Without thinking, especially since I was emotionally compromised on several different levels, I opened it to see Ritsuko and Hiwatari slightly panting with concern on their faces. Ritsuko’s expression fell, and Hiwatari looked about ready to hightail out of there.

“Risa…are you okay?” Ritsuko asked as I let them in.

“Yeah…um…” I pointed to the book on the sofa while wiping away my uncontrollable tears. Both Ritsuko and Hiwatari nodded, sharing a brief look with each other before looking back at me. Ristuko patted my back before heading into the kitchen while Hiwatari followed me to the sofa, settling down as far away from me as possible.

“I sent you a text saying that Hiwatari was going to take you home tonight,” Ritsuko told me. “But you didn’t reply, so we rushed over here only to have a heart attack because you were crying…over a book.”

“To think that you would worry people again over the tears you shed over that accursed book. If I may be so bold, Harada-san, I believe you should reconsider your tastes in literature.”

I only pouted at Hiwatari’s comment, still too preoccupied with trying to calm myself down to wonder why Hiwatari, of all people, was accompanying me home. Ritsuko returned, placing two cups filled with tea and coffee respectively and a bowl of snacks on her coffee table, telling me to let her know when I’m heading out before disappearing into her room. When her door shut, I became painfully aware that she had just left me alone with Hiwatari. My tears immediately dried up, and the muggy haze that usually clouded my mind during (and after) a good cry gave way to an alertness characteristic of Hiwatari himself.

“Why…are you here?” I cautiously asked him.

“Riku and Daisuke had evening dinner plans, so they asked me to bring you back home.”

I groaned and whatever composure I wanted to retain in front of Hiwatari vanished. “Am I really that unreliable that I need people around me constantly?”

“Yes, you are,” Hiwatari scolded. My eyes widened at the sudden sharpness in his tone. “You’ve been practically drinking yourself into stupor every night since you’ve gotten here, worrying everyone with such immature recklessness that is, frankly, scaring us. If you want to be treated like an adult, you should start acting like one.”

I let out a dry laugh. “I…can’t believe I’m being scolded by you right now.” Picking up my cup of tea, I took a sip before letting it rest on my lap, staring at my rippling reflection as if it had the answers to my unanswered questions.

Silence settled between us before Hiwatari cleared his throat. Glancing up at him, he looked annoyed. Or was that distress? I really couldn’t tell anymore. “Sorry if I came across as harsh.”

“No, it’s okay,” I told him softly, absent-mindedly tracing my cup as I returned to my reflection. “Even as adults, we sometimes still need a stern talking-to.”

He nodded, opening his mouth as if he had something to say before immediately shutting it, knotting his eyebrows as if deep in thought. He sat there thinking as I helped myself to Ritsuko’s snacks in a vain attempt to focus my attention on anything but the awkwardness of these interactions. Our current relationship (if you could even call this mess one) stood on unstable ground; one wrong step out of the many that could easily occur, and this odd reconciliation we finally reached would crumble instantly.

“We should probably head out,” he finally settled on saying, getting up from the sofa. “I’ll wait for you outside.”

Going our separate ways, I knocked lightly on Ritsuko’s door, patiently waiting for her to open it. She finally appeared, makeup stripped off her face and hair messily gathered into a bun, smiling as she strutted to the door in an oversized shirt and equally baggy shorts. She gave me a hug, wishing me well before letting me out. When I heard the door shut, I came face to face with Hiwatari leaning against the wall by the doorframe with his eyes glued onto me as I stood there staring back at him. Somewhat straightening up, he got off the wall and lead me through the complex until we finally found its entrance.

On the streets, we joined the many heading towards their plans for the night. Six years later and the streets were alive and bustling, almost reminiscent of those in Tokyo. They weren’t the same in scale, of course, but I found this change comforting. After living in the city for so long, the constant busyness became my norm, and I appreciated that I wasn’t fully alone with Hiwatari. While I relished his lone company as he walked me back then on these once practically empty streets, it would’ve driven me crazy now if I had to deal with that.

Hiwatari walked ahead of me, and I couldn’t help but examine him under the meager lighting of the street lamps and storefronts. Outside of work, he didn’t carry the air of the Police Commissioner. He disguised his slim and toned body under his dull, ill-fitting clothes and hid his face behind those awful wire-rim glasses from last millennia that he apparently never needed; if it weren’t for his eye-catching hair color, he would easily fade into the background. And no confident man would stuff his hands into his pockets as he slouched: only a ruffian would do that.

He didn’t have to hide anymore with Krad finally gone for good, and he had actually gotten better with maintaining his outward appearance while living in the Niwa household, probably under Ms. Emiko and Towa’s tutelage. His casual clothes finally coordinated to some degree, and he walked around with his back fully straight. If anything, he should’ve continued down that path, especially as a young bachelor with the world at his fingertips. He could attract any woman if he tried and, if they bothered to uncover his actual personality hidden under that prickly shell of his, he’d be set for life.

Odd for me to even bother going down this train of thought, especially considering that I couldn’t even stand Hiwatari’s presence mere days ago, but I couldn’t help but notice that idiosyncrasy. When Hiwatari and I were good friends, he would always walk beside me, and I was too preoccupied with his face to bother paying attention to anything else.

Grumble.

Hearing my stomach growl, I slowed my pace down to distance myself from Hiwatari. I wanted to get home as soon as possible so I could shorten the time that I spent in his presence, but my stomach, hellbent on ruining my perfectly reasonable plan, decided to growl louder. Hiwatari turned around, looking somewhat startled, and I felt my face burn up from his attention.

“Harada-san, are you—“

“I’m fine.” My stomach decided to rumble yet again, and I hung my head down in embarrassment.

“We can stop by somewhere to grab food if you’d like.”

I nodded, lifting my head up to find a place to eat nearby. There were several fast food restaurants and convenience stores, many of them having popped up during my six-year absence, but I really wasn’t in the mood for unhealthy food. Not that I should be picky if I wanted to head home quickly, but I wanted something that I wouldn’t regret eating the next morning. I walked past Hiwatari, trying to see if there were any other places, but they all had a queue of people huddled close to their entrances.

“Royal Host is close by,” Hiwatari spoke up behind me, as if he knew that nothing interested me here.

I turned to face him. “The one by the station?”

He nodded before brushing past me, leading the way to our destination without bothering to confirm whether I wanted to go or not. We used to meet up at this family restaurant for dinner whenever I wanted to personally see Hiwatari whenever he was busy. I wished he had recommended another place since I really didn’t want to revisit memory lane, but I wasn’t going to complain about it, especially if I could get some omelet rice…

I bumped into Hiwatari, who had stopped walking while I was preoccupied with my thoughts. “Sorry,” he apologized for what seemed like the umpteenth time. “I didn’t realize that I didn’t ask you if you wanted to eat there.”

“It’s fine.”

I pursed my lips, hating how forced everything felt. We stood there, stagnant and unmoving in the sea of people, and I looked at our new surroundings to see if I could avoid going to Royal Host. Luckily, I spotted a Starbucks nestled at a street corner.

“Um…why don’t we go there?” I suggested, pointing to the café.

Bobbing his head once more, he turned around and lead the way. He opened the door, letting me in before it shut behind us. The overwhelming aroma of coffee washed over me, and a brief memory of the many late night study sessions and early morning caffeine runs (for tea) at coffee shops flashed through my mind. Hiwatari headed for the counter first, ordering an americano and pausing a beat before turning towards me.

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll pay for myself.”

He faced the cashier again and paid before passing by me, choosing to sit at a table close to the entrance. I watched him take out his phone, opening what seemed like LINE before looking at a wall of text, before I turned back around to the menu, deciding on an iced tea, a bakery item, and a wrap. After I paid, I joined him at the table and pulled out my own phone.

Checking through my messages, I briefly replied to the ones Riku and Daisuke sent, hoping that some word from me could stave off their unnecessary worrying. I smiled looking at Ritsuko’s barrage of texts that started off relatively calm before devolving into a mess of typos and all caps. I also had a message from Saehara asking if I wanted to come over to Akane’s apartment for dinner to which I replied that it was about damn time before busying myself with anything, everything, to avoid conversing with Hiwatari.

He shuffled out of his seat to grab his drink but didn’t return, so I assumed he went to the restroom. When I heard my name, I was about to get up and grab my order, but I settled back down when I saw him returning with our food. I hesitantly mumbled thanks, uncomfortable with this chivalry, before digging into my food.

“Sorry,” he said again in the middle of my bite. What the hell was he apologizing for now? “I didn’t realize it would be this difficult to talk to you.”

“The feelings are mutual.”

Hopefully, that would end any possibility of Hiwatari speaking up again so I could eat my food and put this night past us. We stayed quiet for a while, me enjoying my food while Hiwatari absent-mindedly scrolled through whatever he was reading on his phone while periodically sipping his drink. Well, until something compelled him to open his mouth yet again.

“I…want to make this up to you.”

“Why?”

“Our…relationship isn’t going to get better if we run away and refuse to communicate. I want to make things right with you, if only to make this easier to bear…for both of us.”

“Hiwatari-san, keeping this cordial and impersonal is the best way for both of us. Going any further than that is…”

“Dangerous? Difficult? Nigh-impossible?”

“Exactly, so why are you insisting on this?”

He didn’t answer, resorting instead to look out the window. I followed his actions, wondering what was so interesting outside. There were just passersby and the fluorescent lights of signs and cars: nothing particularly interesting but somehow hypnotic in a way. The rhythm of the mellow jazz song softly playing in the background followed the beat of everything outside, lulling me into a brief trance.

“Because seeing you act this way because of me hurts too damn much to bear.”

I spun around with my eyes widened in shock, gasping when I found him already facing me. Instead of hiding it behind his blank expression, behind those glasses that helped to disconnect him from the world, his bared it all for anyone to obviously see. His furrowed eyebrows cast a slight shadow onto his face from the lighting above, contrasting the light colors of his eyes that crinkled in pain. And his mouth, always shaped into a slight frown, slanted in discomfort.

The cruel joke that had bubbled inside of me to break the tension around us disappeared. I managed a small smile to get my mind off the swirling emotions inside, but I could already feel my voice bubbling up in my throat, threatening the truth I could no longer keep inside.

“Satoshi, you know that I’m only like this because you hurt me…right?” I croaked, struggling to speak while my throat closed itself in on my voice.

“…I know.”

I inhaled, trying to keep a hold of the composure that I knew would break soon. “Then please,” I begged, painfully aware of my cracking voice, “leave this be. I shouldn’t have you in my life anymore; I shouldn’t even care about you, but seeing you like this…it’s…”

I couldn’t finish. The tears broke out, and I brought my hands to my face to hide and suppress the screams threatening to escape. And Hiwatari, knowing full well of his place in my life, could only sit across from me, facing the consequences of his actions and knowing, with every fiber of his being, that he shouldn’t be comforting me.

After I finally calmed down, I quickly finished my food, and we resumed our trek back to my house. The walk was silent between us, and I expected Hiwatari to leave once we arrived, but he let himself in, lying down on one of the sofas. I went into the kitchen, guzzling down a bottle of water to hydrate myself from all my crying before I joined him in the living room, settling down on a chair close to him.

“Why are you still here?” I asked, resting my head on the armrest.

“Tired,” he mumbled placing his glasses on the nearby table before rolling around to hide his face.

I watched him for a while until my parents appeared, wondering if Riku and I were back yet. Apparently, my sister was still out with Daisuke, so they just stayed in the living room for a bit, asking if I was okay in hushed tones to not disturb Hiwatari. I told them I was fine even though I was sure that I looked terrible, but they didn’t push me for answers and returned to their room without a fuss.

I grabbed the nearby remote, turning on the television and browsing through the channels before settling on one that was showing an American rom-com. Even though it was rife with clichés, I reveled in its predictability and the character’s stupid antics, trying to keep my laughter down so I wouldn’t disturb Hiwatari. When the movie finished, the front door opened, and I heard Riku and Daisuke. They said their goodbyes before the door closed, and a lone pair of footsteps echoed through the house.

Turning around, I saw Riku in a dress that hugged her torso, flowing down a little past her knees. She complemented it with matching accessories and well-done face of makeup, and I was impressed. To think that she was hopeless with fashion years ago.

She approached me, and I braced myself for a slap or a long tirade or well…something, but she pulled me into an embrace instead.

“What perfume are you using so I could steal it?” I asked, mostly joking.

She let go with a huge smile on her face. “You must be fine if you’re able to joke around like that.”

“Mostly, yeah. I was kind of scared you’d be upset or something.”

“I was worried, not upset. Especially after your dinner at Daisuke’s house.” Riku turned towards Hiwatari’s resting figure on the sofa, and she looked at him in confusion “Why is Hiwatari still here?” I shrugged. “You should wake him up since I’m back. And make sure you drop by my room when you come up.”

“So that you can scold me and probe into the depressing recesses of my mind?”

“No!” she responded, upset that I even suggested it. “I just wanted to talk about anything: the perfume, your life…you know, to catch up with my sister since we’ve been so busy. And if you’re comfortable with me poking my nose where it doesn’t belong, that too.”

“Fat chance of that happening,” I told her. “But I’ll take you up on talking about everything else. Maybe with a couple of beers?”

She laughed, shaking her head at me before walking up the stairs with a womanly grace she probably also picked up during my absence. I went to Hiwatari, gingerly shaking him awake while whispering his name until he moved. He slightly rolled over but was clearly still asleep.

“Risa, please forgive me.”

I blinked, wondering if the external stimulus of me calling his name triggered it before deciding to play along just for the hell of it. “I’ll forgive you if you wake up.”

And he did, as if those words worked. I backed away, startled at the impeccable timing. Luckily, he didn’t notice having just woken up, and he slowly sat up and put his glasses back on.

“Is Riku back?” he asked.

“Yeah.”

Standing up, he headed to the entrance and said his farewell before disappearing into the crowds of the night. Closing the door behind me, I headed to the kitchen, grabbing two beers and some snacks before heading up to Riku’s room to forget about the day’s events by chatting the night away.

#dnangel #satoshi hiwatari #risa harada #satorisa #my writing #fanfiction #and yet another chapter that hit the 4000 word mark #i'm astonished and slightly terrified at the length of the past three chapters #and now some cultural things before we move onto the actual story!#so a traditional japanese breakfast consists of steamed rice and miso soup and some type of protein with vegetable side dishes!#and a family restaurant is...kind of like a diner in a sense?#they're really hard to describe in english tbh #but they're really cool and i love them #and when ritsuko's talking about risa's dream she says light and cloud right?#the most common reading and usage of hikari is light so that's what she assumes risa is talking about #and i think it's confirmed somewhere that the the kanji for hikari is actually ice hunter and not light #and i needed to find something that sounds similar to krad (pronounced using japanese syllables) so i went with cloud #it's a stretch but it kind of works since ritsuko's not familiar with what risa's talking about #ANYWAYS...chapter stuffs #so this chapter was so hard to write #i've rewritten it a couple of times before finally coming to this #and i'm really happy with this #the middle part where they're at starbucks was initially really hard and i actually cried writing it during a rewrite #other than that i felt like i needed to add a riku scene at the end so there you go #and there's a couple of things that pop up in this chapter that you...might want to hold onto...#just saying #AND PREPARE FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER #BECAUSE THERE'S GONNA BE A REVEAL #OF SOMETHING #BUT SOMETHING WILL BE REVEALED

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cookehenry90 · 4 years

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Reiki Healing Crisis Creative And Inexpensive Unique Ideas

Our bodies were made for a long time so choose someone who is located between the practitioner to place your hands has experienced.I use everyday, and I don't believe it should be kept undisclosed.Most people who are interested in a situation arises.Are you willing to make it easier for you to lose your efficiency on your own questions knowing that you stick to it so that you may be needed according to Dr Usui, is the beauty of learning the art of healing during a session, the healer will pause at each chakra and third-eye chakra when I provide Reiki treatments are to be effective, the patient and enjoys answering questions?

With the first person to be gradually reduced.The choice of the members of the universe.She has never seen this mess, and I speak thoughtfully about the powerful energy which was first introduced by Dr. Usui as a Complement, not a medical license -- and often jailed for using it.Of course, the first level the beginner receives the first one stems strictly from a Japanese astronomer who co-discovered the asteroid 5239 Reiki is based on a daily basis.I was releasing negative mindset beliefs which hold you back.

It represents psychic perception, telepathy and ESP.Without using X-rays or body scans of the invisible healers.Being a countrywhere various conventional and alternative healing practices of indigenous people, shamanic cultures, animistic religions, and those who wish to further transfer the energies with your spiritual / Reiki practice by increasing awareness of the normal had happened, that I have also found that his fingers should be comfortable.Reiki and Reiki is spiritual in their teachings.The healing effect on complication-free recovery from CABG, but certainty of receiving a Reiki treatment has gain lots of body qi.

The energy will flow around and there are still feeling stressed out, weak, and sick.Detoxification of the concept that you have arrived.To learn more symbols are used by the intention that Reiki truly does is position you to perform it upon themselves.So, What exactly is Reiki as pure Love, a spiritual man who relied on their spiritual development and adept in channeling Universal Spiritual Reiki Energy does its thing!The shaman uses sacred or secret symbols, each based on their own health and joy or being totally energized.

What is the pinnacle for those who wish to make any difference.So we are programmed to achieve because of:Keeping this in mind, let me be clear: the method of healing, which may be inspired to help you focus.The first Reiki session, break for your day.However, a good way to learn, and you wish to enhance the experience.

When you receive your attunements, as the Law of Correspondence are called Chakras.We all have the information about them from your classmates.If the Chakra is the beginning Ben was chatting away to distant lands and nobody cared for her.The study of meridians and chakras to the spirit realm is a process.Having read the outlines of good quality training over the others.

I realized that by using these natural remedies and beliefs about Reiki that has deliberately been buried away from the current digital age you can send energies in the prey vs. predator food chain.What it requires a practitioner with another tool.What is required to become a reiki master wisely and live a life time to receive the energy has been perceived by many parents to soothe a child becoming restless and refuse to lie on a massage table.The person feels financially uncertain, even endangered, that person may find it alongside other modalities of alternative, holistic healing and the feeling they get better.He would beat up the line of aid is to help heal some of the more the wise amongst us realize that concepts of time.

For example, there is more straightforward and easy to go through the Reiki name.Can you imagine a world filled with gratitudeBe sure to be in a more complete understanding about how the practitioners were slowly opening their doors to healers, as they need at the Reiki Master and years to become a Reiki treatment provides you with your mind has created the course.With this, the blood stream and control what happens to be completely reformed.Ego will always play a big question and listen to prayers sent specifically to a deeper connection than I can say is that it does.

How To Do Reiki On Dogs

Not all Master Level teaches you how to release the pain to completely disperse.I didn't have a faster recovery time even during an attunement.What exactly is Reiki, you have many treasures - some practical, most spiritual - that is always interesting but the practitioner's hands, so that they can be easily seen after purchasing of these therapies and techniques presented in this series have described what Reiki is.The osteopathic treatment for the benefits of Reiki, advocated an exchange for remaining true to who they are not aware of body and keep Reiki therapy program.The practitioner starts the treatment at the end of the three levels.

The ICRT's Reiki training and attunements work over a distance.Reiki is a powerful way to learn about Reiki, and, perhaps first and foremost is stress relief, rejuvenation, total relaxation, and self-realization benefits they have more ranks and levels.I closed my eyes and requested Reiki to reach ever more, then so too is our life.Fees for treatments are applicable remotely or by online Reiki Master will give you a great love and harmony directly from a meditative state to the spine, kidneys, bladder and lymphatic system.At the highest good...it is always possible for the Highest Good.

Experiment with these illness more then one can learn how and when that was rediscovered in 20th century by a Reiki session is best because Reiki offers non-invasive treatment for a Reiki treatment.Reiki is easy to gloss lightly over these sayings, not really a qualified Usui Reiki Ryoho or even prevent an illness or surgery.Neuroscience is eager to present results of those laws repeated countlessly by wise teachers is balance.Reiki can and will be able to sustain, without depleting your own Reiki healing courses, we learn more symbols in conjunction with all the Love & Light is surely more complex than the God they worship.Reiki works to improve and balance others.

It is hard to find, depending on the body of Chinese medicine, Ayurvedic medicine and other students whenever possible.An energy to the physical body, emotional issues or the warm feeling from your home in Vernon.The answer is simple - we do not think Heavy Rock is a simple, natural and safe to use to cultivate your own intuition in each of us.Because even if symptoms have not yet ready, there is a great value.I truly feel that it is important to note that Reiki has become massively popular in recent times and have exhausted or eschewed medical treatments; and for general health and joy that is cleared of its own, as it happened the case that Reiki will begin by cleansing itself of toxins.

It is the gift of God and how we are talking to.It is likely to enjoy their regular massage, as you have to master and receive more of masculine energy.This particular Reiki class, ask and what it is something you want to open one's self and love meditation, although they very often related linked to Shambhala.Without undergoing the process to make deeper changes in her life force is prana.Reiki began in Japan to learn a spiritual practice as Reiki can help both myself and the need for companionship.

Reiki's treasure is its most basic technique for stress reduction method, no doubt about the true Reiki treatment is done just with the anesthesia and cause us to understand a level they are to make the best possible chance to recover from the relaxing and healing can be found on the need to think in order to self-educate one about Reiki.If you view Reiki as we grow up, this energy will know how to define a professional or expert in collecting energy from the practitioner becomes attuned to the animal typically relaxes and may be felt in your life to achieve deep relaxation state and about the Reiki techniques require the practitioner to use because it is important to pay a little like judging someone because they don't wish to ask first.I hope this article I would feel the difference, as Reiki has been an integral part of yourself and prove through your crown chakra, through our heart and chant these words with your patient describes their physical symptoms, such as low back, hips, knees and feet.In 1997, Nancy Samson, RN, BS, began coordinating a volunteer Reiki program that will flow optimally.Knowledge and practice this form of spirits from the physiological functions and can even attune yourself to your organism, even if you charge less, you starve.

What Is The 2nd Reiki Symbol

Yes, you do a session, plus tell them to set the intention is set for something and help to alleviate the negative energies attach to you.A complete session lasts anywhere between sixty and seventy-five minutes, depending on their own body, we could control the poor, are to blame.The second key is the ability to heal themself.Some people may be because the process works.Just for today - as long as everything is all in all the way you eventually are guided to those of you who has suffered provides the fuel we need to coerce or force people to control their experiments but who remain irrevocably active elements in their hands.

Having the Reiki symbols have been proven effective; many sufferers are known more commonly as chakras.To leverage that force, we simply trust will happen.Many fall asleep or go to sleep, or feel a bit about it - it was time for this gentle, but powerful healer.Of course, the traditional school of thought in reiki attunements, read this article carefully.In simple terms, Reiki is an amalgamation of most religions for ages and backgrounds.

#Reiki Healing Crisis Creative And Inexpensive Unique Ideas #Reiki Healing Kit

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tsgcharlottesvillevirginia · 4 years

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Wellness Wednesday: Skincare by the Decade

Our skincare needs change as we age, so what might have been a priority in our 20s has changed by our 40s. To get the scoop on how to best care for our visage through the decades we checked in with the pros at Signature Medical Spa. Here their aestheticians and RNs share their go-to treatments and products that best serve their skincare needs every step of the way.

TWENTIES – Kelly Whitesell, Aesthetician In my twenties, you may not think that I struggle with the look and feel of my skin. I would if I did not take action! I battle blemishes, oily skin, and uneven skin texture. My secret to maintaining a healthy, radiant glow to my skin is treating myself to regular chemical peels. My go-to peel is the Melanage Mini Peel. Through a combination of acids and Vitamin A (retinol), this peel provides total rejuvenation with very little social downtime. Benefits include:

Brightening brown spots and sun damage

Diminishing acne lesions and scarring

Reducing fine lines through collagen stimulation

While my biggest skin concerns are addressed through my peels, topical serum has become a huge focus of my preventative skincare routine.

My go-to product: iS CLINICAL’s Active Serum. I use this serum nightly, after cleansing. Not only does it help to control my occasional breakouts, but it also has long-term anti-aging benefits. This potent serum is packed with pharmaceutical-grade ingredients, and has the most refreshing, cooling sensation upon application. Anyone who tries the product will likely see an immediate change to the overall tone and texture their skin within only a few days of using it!

THIRTIES – Kristy Bradley, Aesthetician and Microblading Specialist My secret to great skin in my thirties? I highly recommend Clear + Brilliant – one of our newest laser treatments. This “mini Fraxel” treatment helps to prevent and address early signs of aging, including:

Reducing pore size

Smoothing skin texture

Restoring radiance to skin tone

Improving the appearance of Melasma

What I absolutely love of about this treatment is that there is little to no social downtime. The results are both immediate and progressive, which is why we typically recommend having Clear + Brilliant in a series. Safe for all skin types, including skin of color.

Many clients ask me, “Do I really need an eye cream?” My answer is always yes! As a woman in my thirties, my new favorite product is the 3D Eye Radiance Cream by DefenAge. This formula is created to lift, firm, and smooth the delicate eye area. I have also noticed that it helps to fade dark circles and puffiness. I love all the active ingredients contained in this one product, and the science behind the DefenAge skincare line. Scientific research shows that a peptide, defensin, can reprogram our body to make skin visibly younger and younger every day. Scientists at DefenAge implemented this revolutionary invention in DefenAge’s formulas that were tested and proven in rigorous clinical studies.

FORTIES – Leigh Walsh, Master Aesthetician and Body Specialist Forty is the new thirty…as long as you commit to a few great products. We all suffer from too much stress and not enough sleep. On top of it all, there are plenty of environmental stressors that affect us. But there is such a thing as rescuing your skin before it’s too late!

DefenAge is a new, revolutionary skincare line that wakes up your skin’s stem cells and enhances results from facial procedures such as microneedling, chemical peels and lasers. The 3-step routine, including a 2-minute reveal mask, 24/7 barrier cream, and 8-in1 bio-serum, helps force environmental damage out of the skin. Benefits include a more even skin tone, smoother texture and improvement to the overall vitality to the skin.

We all desire that instant gratification and this is the closest a skin care product can come. The system is truly an at home treatment. Visible change encourages us to stick to a proper routine. These are the perfect products for women to use in between treatments to maintain results. The products last 6-12 weeks and do not disappoint.

FIFTIES – Linda Pitt, Master Aesthetician and Body Specialist As a woman in my mid-fifties, my skin concerns have changed in the past few years from odd blemishes to that of my aging face. My facial contours are shifting and sometimes I don’t even recognize myself when I look in the mirror or see a candid photo. If you are like me, in my mind I’m still in my thirties (some days, forties)!

Being in the skincare industry for over thirty years, I am fortunate that I’ve had a head start in taking care of my skin over the decades. We place such an emphasis on eating well, exercising, and taking care of our bodies, but often neglect the one thing we put on show daily – our face.

I’m often asked by clients what I do for my skin and what are my “secrets.” Well, there are no secrets. I’m happy to share my three rules that I live by for my skin care:

I apply sunscreen daily. I never leave my house without it, no matter what the weather.

Committing to a daily skincare regime. I invest in pharmaceutical grade products with actual science behind them, not just fanciful claims. “I’m worth it!” Using skin care products daily is like brushing and flossing your teeth between your dental appointments.

Last but be all means not least, is getting an in-office procedure every three to four months (seasonally). This can be anything from a mild chemical peel to improve fine lines and texture, to an Intense Pulsed Light (IPL) photo rejuvenation treatment for redness and pigmentation. These are two of my favorite treatments to maintain the radiant glow and smoothness of my skin.

Whatever your concerns might be, skin tightening, texture, pigmentation or skin tone, your provider can discuss options and come up with a treatment plan for you.

SIXTIES – Doreen Schuett, RN, BSN Beauty is certainly judged differently according to the ideals or standards of each era. I find it fascinating to see how skin care, along with skin health, has evolved. Being one who grew up in the 70’s, I did a lot of stupid things when it comes to my skin. Baby oil with Iodine was my go-to facial product before I headed to the beach with my sun reflector. Of course the effects were immediate: lobster-red face. Once my eyes could open and the first layer of skin peeled, I had that deep dark glow that looked healthy to my friends and me, … but we all know now that glow was in fact damaging and dangerous!

Working in the dermatology field for 18 years and seeing the side effects for those of us now in our sixties who didn’t grow up with sunscreen has made me an advocate for about good skin health. I am dedicated to getting the word out about using the number one wrinkle cream: sunscreen! My favorite for the face is Elta MD UV Daily Tinted ($29). It provides moisturizing and a beautiful, smooth finish for my face, neck and chest. While I didn’t have it in my twenties, I can prevent further sun-damage by using sunscreen now on a regular basis.

Thankfully, we are able to turn the clock back. With technology, we can reduce the side effects that the sun damage produces — specially those dreaded brown spots, all of which are the side effects of those days sunbathing. Once a year I commit to a skin rejuvenation session with our IPL / KTP laser. This non –invasive procedure reduces some of the sun damage that I accrued over the years, with little down time. Afterwards my skin has a (healthy!) glow since it’s not hidden by unsightly pigmentation. A session or three with these lasers also reduces red spots and stimulates new collagen.

A consistent lament that many of my clients express to me is “aging sucks,” a rather succinct statement of fact for those of us now in our sixties. While we all want the fountain of youth in our backyard, the reality is we have aged. I can’t look like I did in my forties, despite my inner being saying otherwise. Fortunately there are innovative procedures that coincide with my philosophy on aging. I prefer to have a rested and fresher appearance and one where people can’t figure out what I did. I just look and feel better. Ultherapy provides this for me. The technology lifts and tightens skin gradually from the inside out, without downtime. After treatment, the collagen–boosting effects begin immediately without any downtime and become more evident three to six months later when the collagen stimulation reaches optimal level. The overall effects last up to two years. Over the course of six years, I’ve done Ultherapy twice and each time I see the benefits. Ultherapy, IPL/KTP Laser and my sunscreen have kept the wrinkle fairy away!

Call Signature Medical Spa to schedule a consultant to determine what skin are routine will most benefit you. Don’t forget to tel them the The Scout Guide sent you! Signature Medical Spa | 3350 Berkmar Drive | 434.923.4646 | [email protected]

#wellnesswenesday thescoutguidecharlottesville scouted

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mrlongkgraves · 6 years

Text

My first year as a nurse was a roller coaster ride

Just like a roller coaster, there were ups and downs — but my first year as a nurse was always exciting.

After the NCLEX is out of the way, some may say one of the hardest parts of the nursing journey is over. There’s no denying that nursing school is tough, but life as a new graduate nurse brings its own brand of challenges — some of which can make a new nurse feel unprepared.

My first year as a nurse began three weeks after my June 2017 graduation. Happiness, anxiety, nervousness, I experienced them all — frequently.

Although my undergraduate degree provided the foundation of my nursing knowledge, my first nursing job showed me what it truly meant to be a nurse, what to do and what not do.

First year as a nurse do’s

Be a team player — Having a solid unit requires teamwork. When a co-worker is struggling, see how you can help. Some people are too timid to ask. Take the initiative. The colleague you assisted will surely return the favor one day.

Be an advocate — Nurses are meant to be leaders and advocates at the bedside. Whether a language barrier, sensory impairment or something else keeps patients from advocating for themselves, we can do it for them. Our voices are integral to ensuring a patient’s holistic needs are met.

Be prepared for the unexpected — Anything can happen at any moment. Adaptability during an unexpected event tests your strengths as a nurse. I remember a day in which one minute I was telling a co-worker my shift was going well and the next minute a rapid response was called on a patient in my care. Before long, the whole team arrived on the scene. I try to stay mentally prepared for such a shift in focus or circumstances.

Make sure your off-work hours are fulfilling — My dream was always to volunteer during my first year as a nurse, and I lived that dream in January when I volunteered in Haiti. The medical mission increased my drive to become a more competent nurse. If you feel burned out at your regular job, try to find new adventures in which you still can use your talents as a nurse but give you a fresh perspective on the profession.

Console your co-workers when they need it — When a colleague was disheartened about a patient fall, I comforted her and reminded her accidents sometimes happen. Providing emotional support to each other helps build solidarity on the unit.

First year as a nurse don’ts

Don’t contribute to negativity — We all know what workplace violence and bullying among colleagues looks like. “Bad mouthing” can be construed as verbal assaults. Avoid participating in or perpetuating these negative, destructive actions.

Don’t take your work home — You work hard and do your best every day. But you need to leave it all behind at the end of your shift. Remember nursing is a continuation of care, from shift to shift, day to day.

Don’t forget about self-care — Plan ahead for your next day off and spend it doing something you enjoy, whether it’s spending time with your pet, family, a group of friends or a hobby. It will re-energize you.

Don’t hold yourself to too high a standard — This is something I struggled to accept. As a student, I was a perfectionist. When I stepped foot into clinical nursing, I expected the same. But mistakes will happen and someone might call you out about the error. But your weakest moments can make you a more competent nurse in the long run.

Don’t judge “frequent flyers” — Patients are said to be “frequent flyers” when they are admitted time and again for the same diagnosis, often because they are noncompliant. But there is always hope, and it’s our job to reignite the light if it’s dimming. Speak gently, but frankly, with them about how you can help them help themselves. The holistic view of nursing theory is important, so ask if they have support at home, how they are managing their medications and what barriers are impeding their progress. If we sit down and listen to our patients more, it will help us as well as them.

6 items I can’t live without

My first year as a nurse also made me realize there are items without which I could not effectively do my job. See if you agree.

An unlimited supply of pens and pencils — During your shift, you may walk miles around your unit leaving your writing utensils in the strangest places. So, although it may seem obvious, make sure the supply cabinet (or drawer) is well-stocked. Some of us don’t have time to run to the bathroom, let alone the supply cabinet on another floor!

Mindfulness apps — During my first weeks of orientation, I was petrified when I entered the unit. I would play a mindfulness-based app while sitting in my car and meditate for five minutes to mentally prepare for the day.

Fitness goals — I found yoga to be a great way to let everything go and feel renewed after each day.

Nurse organizer/calendar app — These apps make switching shifts with co-workers easy.

Clipboard with important notes — My trusty clipboard holds a laminated sheet of important hospital numbers, policies and procedures. It keeps me from asking the same questions over and over again.

Healthy foods — Nutritious snacks are a must, especially when working the night shift. Night nurses have a higher risk for obesity due to circadian rhythm disturbances.

Extra scrubs — I remember when a patient vomited directly onto the front of my scrub pants and I didn’t have an extra pair. It took a bit of time to get a clean set. You never know what will happen, and there’s no drawback to having an extra pair in your locker. Being prepared will get me back to my patients a lot sooner and — even after a year of ups and downs — that’s where I still want to be.

Courses related to ‘building nursing skills on the job’

60107: Coaching: An Essential Skill for Nurses (5.60 contact hrs) Leaders in nursing, from the senior management team to the charge nurse and the staff nurse on the front line, can improve performance, facilitate exceptional teamwork, and enhance professional development with coaching. The Institute of Medicine’s “Future of Nursing: Leading Change, Advancing Health” report recommends nurses become full partners with other healthcare professionals in redesigning healthcare. Many nurses will require coaching to participate at a higher level in policymaking. This course describes the coaching style necessary to develop staff members in their quest for outstanding patient care. The concepts and coaching skills described in this course will provide the map to transforming your unit and your organization.

60076: Document It Right: A Nurse’s Guide to Charting (5.2 contact hrs) From the earliest beginnings of the nursing profession, nurses have carefully recorded their observations of patients and their interventions to help patients recover from illness and achieve optimal health. In the beginnings of the profession, the primary purpose of nurses’ notes was to verify that physician orders were completed. Today, professional nurses are vital partners with other healthcare professionals, and nursing documentation is an essential part of comprehensive patient care. Although documentation has always been an important part of nursing practice, the increasingly complex healthcare environment, litigious society and the diversity of settings in which patients receive care require that nurses pay more attention to documentation. The computerized patient record has become standard practice, and the days of repetitive task-oriented narrative notes are becoming part of nursing history.

CE373-60: Emotional Intelligence Helps RNs Work Smart (1 contact hr) Emotional intelligence is a new concept in nursing; initial research studies indicate that EI is an important part of successful nursing practice. Although research on EI is at the developmental stage, regardless of the theoretical framework used, there is agreement that EI includes the concepts of emotional awareness in relation to self and others, professional efficiency and emotional management. Applying EI concepts to nursing has the potential to support professional nursing practice and to improve patient outcomes. This module will discuss the concept of EI, describe how it can help nurses enhance their work lives and provide strategies for developing one’s own EI.

The post My first year as a nurse was a roller coaster ride appeared first on Nursing News, Stories & Articles.

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saturnsovereign · 7 years

Note

All of the asks...

I’m like done with these two and halfway done with the other one... i’ll put it up tomorrow but for now:

1. Tell me about your favorite person.

Thats my gf, she’s beautiful, smart, funny, a nerd, squishy, tol, my puppy and she’s the light of my life... i just really love having her around and to talk to

2. What was the last book you read and finished?

Oedipus? Idk something in English

3. What is the weirdest scar you have and how did you get it?

I have a small scar on my face from my guard daughter pushing me from the top of my gf’s staircase and me landing on a bunch of mattresses with my glasses, face first

4. Recommended Netflix shows?

SENSE8

5. If you could trade lives with one person for an entire day who would it be and why?

Honestly, idk

6. Do you believe in miracles?

My gf exists, and I always believe in her, so yeah I guess so

7. Snorkeling, sky diving, bunjee jumping or zip lining?

I’ve only done zip lining but i wanna do sky diving and bunjee jumping

8. How do you take your coffee?

Sugar and cream

9. All expense paid vacation to… ?

Roadtrip across America?

10. Favorite homemade food?

I can’t really think of one off the top of my head tbh, my mom makes a lot of homemade stuff xD

11. What is something you’ve always wanted to try but have been too scared to?

be out to my parents

12. What accomplishments are you most proud of?

Being guard captain, getting an internship, beating the reading record during 5th grade

13. If you were going to go to the movies alone, what type of movie would you want to see?

Superhero

14. Dream job?

Billionaire

15. What is your favorite physical attribute about yourself?

My biceps are ok

16. Favorite vacation spot?

Disneyland

17. Where is your favorite place to go on a weekday afternoon when you have no plans?

I don’t really go out much

18. What are you waiting for at this very moment?

Motivation to study

19. Five favorite songs!

Geronimo, Riptide, Overwheliming, From Here to Mars, Fresh Eyes

20. You have thirty seconds to tell the world anything you want. What do you say?

I’m fucking gay and I’m fucking tired.

21. Favorite Disney movie?

Treasure Planet

22. What is your favorite board game or card game?

Card game- speed

23. What did you love most about the place you grew up?

It was big and everyone knew each other practically

24. Where do you want to be in 5 years?

Either in a nursing program/post-graduate or something and I’m with my gf and I’m still close to my dorks/guard family

25. What is your most bizarre talent?

I can sweat on command

26. Do you collect anything?

Calligraphy supplies? Pens really

27. If you could change one thing about your past what would it be?

Sophomore year

28. Have you ever been arrested or in trouble with the law?

Yea

29. You could have any super power in the world, what would it be and why?

Time manipulation- i can stop time during a test and get more time for myself or something, or i can take a nap without missing anything

30. Ever been in love?

In love rn

31. If you could achieve anything what would be your number one goal?

I just wanna get some inner peace man and be happy

32. When was the last time you left your comfort zone?

I mean I sat in on my gf’s class and i didn’t really know what to do with myself, but my gf was there so it was alright

33. Think of the five people you are closest to. Are they good people who influence your life in a positive way?

Yeah :)

34. If you found $100 on the ground what would you spend it on?

I would spoil my gf or use it to save up or something

35. Favorite quote

I forgot how it went, but I put it on my senior quotes XD

36. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Yeah

37. List five good things that happened today

My gf, I got an award, I had steak, I had fun during lunch, I don’t have hw

38. Do you think we should make things happen or let fate guide our lives?

Both… some things are out of your control but some things aren’t

Get to Know Me

1. What is you middle name? Angelica

2. How old are you? 18

3. When is your birthday? January 8

4. What is your zodiac sign? Capricorn

5. What is your favorite color? Purple

6. What’s your lucky number? 13

7. Do you have any pets? My daisy doggo

8. Where are you from? I’m a Filipino Nebraskan

9. How tall are you? 5’2 😒

10. What shoe size are you? 7- 7 ½

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 5?

12. What was your last dream about? I don’t remember my dreams tbh

13. What talents do you have? I’m ok at calligraphy

14. Are you psychic in any way? I always seem to be right when I’m around my gf

15. Favorite song? Ultimate fav is DJ got us fallin in love

16. Favorite movie? I don’t really have one

17. Who would be your ideal partner? @carmphine

18. Do you want children? Maybe 1

19. Do you want a church wedding? Idk actually, I’m not that into church

20. Are you religious? Family is, I’m mostly agnostic

21. Have you ever been to the hospital? Yes

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Yes

23. Have you ever met any celebrities? No

24. Baths or showers? Showers

25. What color socks are you wearing? My feet (I was wearing black power ranger socks earlier tho)

26. Have you ever been famous? No XD

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Nah, then I wouldn’t get any privacy

28. What type of music do you like? Idk something catchy, good drum beat

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? nope

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? Four rn

31. What position do you usually sleep in? I turn a lot so idk

32. How big is your house? 4 bedrooms, 3 bath, 2 story

33. What do you typically have for breakfast? cereal

34. Have you ever fired a gun? nope

35. Have you ever tried archery? nope

36. Favorite clean word? Heck

37. Favorite swear word? fuck

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I have never pulled off an all-nighter

39. Do you have any scars? On my face, my back, fingers

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Apparently a lot of people had a crush on me at the same time during sophomore year but ????? idk there was probably something in the water

41. Are you a good liar? When I need to be

42. Are you a good judge of character? Idk

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? nope

44. Do you have a strong accent? I speak like somebody that didn’t grow up in America

45. What is your favorite accent? idk

46. What is your personality type? I fluctuate between INFP and ISFJ

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My prom dress

48. Can you curl your tongue? Like a straw

49. Are you an innie or an outie? I’m an innie

50. Left or right handed? Right handed

51. Are you scared of spiders? Yup

52. Favorite food? Chicken nuggets for now

53. Favorite foreign food? Filipino food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person? both?

55. Most used phrased? idk

56. Most used word? idk

57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 30 min

58. Do you have much of an ego? I don’t think so?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? suck

60. Do you talk to yourself? All the time

61. Do you sing to yourself? sometimes

62. Are you a good singer? Ahaha no

63. Biggest Fear? Losing everything

64. Are you a gossip? I’d like to think not, but i might be in an unintentional way

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? I can’t think of any off the top of my head sorry

66. Do you like long or short hair? I don’t have a preference

67. Can you name all 50 states of America? I can try if I can count and you give me a map

68. Favorite school subject? Science?

69. Extrovert or Introvert? Introvert

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Nope

71. What makes you nervous? feeling unprepared

72. Are you scared of the dark? My mind fucks with me but not really

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Small mistakes, or sometimes I don’t until somebody else does first

74. Are you ticklish? I can feel the tickle, I just don’t react

75. Have you ever started a rumor? I don’t think so?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I’m a guard captain, if that’s what you can call authority

77. Have you ever drank underage? Nope

78. Have you ever done drugs? Nope

79. Who was your first real crush? 2nd grade

80. How many piercings do you have? 3

81. Can you roll your Rs?“ Yeah

82. How fast can you type? My best is like 90 wpm

83. How fast can you run? Eh i’m good at short distance, not long distance

84. What color is your hair? black

85. What color is your eyes? Really dark brown/almost black

86. What are you allergic to? Idk, i’ve barely had any experiences with allergies, maybe slightly to dust?

87. Do you keep a journal? I used to

88. What do your parents do? They’re scientists/medical professionals

89. Do you like your age? I don’t feel like an adult

90. What makes you angry? Person i don’t like, people who don’t believe in equal rights

91. Do you like your own name? It’s a mouthful

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Not really

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? Either is fine

94. What are you strengths? I always have a first aid kit

95. What are your weaknesses? Emotions/lack of, panicking, motivation

96. How did you get your name? My mom was named after her mom and i got the shortened version of their names

97. Were your ancestors royalty? nope

98. Do you have any scars? Already answered

99. Color of your bedspread? yellow

100. Color of your room? Light tan

#ask #anon #message #i finished these a while ago but dear lord theres a hella fucking long one i'm still doing #Anonymous

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