#my god i need to draw more - ive been busy with other stuff lately ;;;A;;;
Note
General headcanons for pete and billy sir
im like 2 days late because ive been so busy but fawk yes of course
firstly i alwaysssss give billy prominent eyebags whenever i draw him as Seen Here. i dont think he gets much sleep given all the stuff thats happened to him
hes also a bit chubbier 2 me than he is in canon, i think a stockier build rlly suits him <3
billy is autistic + an rsd haver. obviously. i also think pete is autistic and has bpd. they both have that strand of autism that makes them be really blunt to other people but in separate ways
theyre both bi + aro ^_^ also pete is bigender and goes by he/she 2 me. billay is a he/him but he gets transneutral with it
pete would absolutelyyyyyy be one of those older queer guys who are obsessed with collecting little dolls. like specifically vintage barbies circa 1960-1980 and the like. she would love dropping 500 dollars of company funding on an ebay sale of a small plastic woman
i think billy is similarly a toy lover but hes much more focused on collecting sci-fi/pop culture memorabilia like action figures and lunchboxes and so on. hed be one of those collectors who think having Everything In The Packaging is super important. if you were to touch anything of his in his collection he would kill you on the spot. also he would, realistically speaking, absolutely be a funko pop guy. sorry to have to break that to you We All Have Our Vices
pete has vision issues and cant really see all that well but refuses to get glasses or even contacts he thinks glasses will make him look like a nerd and he doesn’t want to touch his eyes with his fingers. SAD! many such cases
neither of them can cook very well they’ll just eat Whatevers lying around but pete knows how to make good drinks. he loves cocktail more than god
billy would be a big fan of physical comfort. he would love hugs and cuddling and stuff but also he would love Weighted Blanket i think 💆♀️ type of autistic guy who needs someone to lay their entire body weight on top of him
pete has low empathy and tends to find difficulty with relating to other people Like A Lot. she also lacks social awareness big time too. she doesn’t like opening up to people a whole lot
billy really enjoys puzzle games. he always struck me as the type of guy to have a gameboy with tetris on it or a rubix cube in his pocket
pete really likes fashion but doesnt want to spend a lot of money on clothes so most of his things are thrifted or bootlegs 😭 this is my explanation for the dumb outfit he always wears because no way did he spend full price on that thing at least i hope not. i hope he didn’t pay full price for Whatever Kind Of Shoes He’s Wearing please god
billy would loveeee doing carpentry and metalwork. i just know this. get this guy in the welding studio and he’ll be in heaven
billy loves wearing button ups with the tacky patterns on them you know the ones.
pete wears makeup but he’s not really all that good at it. his makeup routine consists of like one pink eyeshadow pen that’s probably on its last legs and a really hasty chalky looking eyeliner job but that’s it. sometimes blush but Not Always
also pete has a drawer full of cheap colognes and perfumes. it’s mostly floral stuff but floral in like, a grandma-smelling way yknow
pete likes drag both watching it and partaking in it. look at that man and tell me she doesn’t
also also while i’m on the topic of pete i think he’s a mod 50s enjoyer too…. just makes sense to me because new wave and mod have a lottt of overlap if you think hard enough about it and are as insane as i am as those two movements
ok that’s all i can think of. feel free 2 ask further about any of these i love to talk ✌️
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Stuck in reverse - pt 3
Neil x Reader
Chapter 3: Bad guy
(<- see Chapter 2)
(<- see Chapter 1)
summary: you and Neil end up on an undercover mission together, but what should you do with all that free time?
warnings: alcohol consumption, blood mention, swearing
author’s note: this one surprisingly works as a standalone fic as well, I had fun writing playful banter and flirting, hope you enjoy it!
---
It was a chilly evening, but it wasn’t bothering you. You inhaled a cold air deep into your lungs.
That’s more like it.
You really enjoyed the thrill of being on a mission, when you could lock all the bullshit deep inside and just focus on a task ahead: quick undercover scout of the location, then stopping a local kingpin from acquiring some inverted materials. You could already feel all your senses sharpening, you were ready for the hunt.
You heard Neil’s footsteps behind you. You glanced over your shoulder and smirked.
“Aww, no tie?” you teased, trying not to laugh as you watched the hint of confusion on his face.
“What?”
“Nothing, you not wearing one on a..." – you cleared your throat - "...night out used to be a rare sight, that’s all.”
You didn’t mind though.
Neil blinked twice and crossed his arms. “Oh I’m sorry, should I go and change now?” He looked you up and down, a shade of smile tinted his lips. “I wouldn’t want to be under-dressed.”
“What, you don’t like my converse?” you huffed and mirrored his pose. “Hey, I enjoy a good pair of heels, just can’t save the day wearing them.”
“Fair enough,” he said and smiled, tilting his head and looking at you with those playful sparks in his eyes. “You look amazing.”
You raised one eyebrow and chuckled. “So do you. Now... shall we?”
The loud music hit you as soon as you entered the club, the bass blasting in your eardrums. While you were trying to mentally match the club’s layout from the brief to the actual location, Neil reached to his pocket for the phone. After few seconds he tapped you on a shoulder and showed you the screen with a message from Ives: “Uncle Bob is running late – looks like an hour, so have fun.”
You nodded and pointed at the bar. “Drinks?” you mouthed. No point in yelling, he couldn’t hear you anyway.
By the time you reached the counter, you already spotted eight security guards in various locations inside the hall, two of them trying to remain undercover in their civilian clothes.
Neil leaned against the bar.
“Nine,” he said, looking at you for confirmation.
You positioned yourself close to him so nobody could eavesdrop. The music was still annoyingly loud. You knew everyone entering the club was carefully examined at the entrance and that the club’s security was paying close attention to anyone behaving suspiciously, they weren’t willing to take any chances, especially that night. You were more than happy that Neil was your partner for that mission – you trusted him enough to just roll with anything the situation might require to remain unnoticed.
“Huh, I have eight, who did I miss?”
Neil gave you a half-smile.“The redhead at the end of the counter,” he said.
You didn’t even have to look at that direction, you knew exactly which one he meant. You smacked your lips, annoyed at your poor judgement.
“Damn, she’s hot,” - you nudged him lightly - “you sure she wasn’t just checking you out because of how incredibly handsome you are?”
“One hundred percent,” Neil laughed dryly.
“Nine then. Excuse me,” - you waved at the bartender to get their attention- “one gin&tonic and one vodka tonic.” You could hear Neil’s chuckle, so you shot a quick look at your partner. “Two can play that game, my dear.”
“Blimey.”
The smug expression on his face definitely made your heartbeat increase its pace. You shook your head and tried to stifle a giggle.
When your drinks arrived, you switched to a meaningless small talk, so no one would bother you while you were focused on locating things that might give you any advantage later on. There was still over half an hour of time left and you felt that you need to move to cover more ground, but you couldn’t just get up and walk around without drawing too much attention to yourself. Then you heard a familiar melody and gasped at that perfect excuse.
“Hey, wanna dance?” you grinned at Neil, your hips already swaying to the rhythm.
He pointed at his half-full drink. “Go ahead, I’ll join you in a bit.”
The dance floor was an excellent vantage point, you spotted two more guards hanging out at the back near the entrance to the VIP lounge. You let the music run through you, it almost felt like every part of your body was vibrating with that insane bass. You noticed Neil staring at you from across the room, but that only boosted your self-confidence. You knew you were good at this and it surely felt nice.
The song switched to something new, so you went back to the bar. You wanted to tease Neil about just sitting there instead of joining you but someone tapped your shoulder.
“Eyyy sexy, can I buy ya a drink?”
You turned your head and saw a guy smiling slyly from his seat. A quick look told you enough: a random stranger, pretty drunk, one of those business douches who considered themselves gods.
“No, thanks,” you replied, turning your back to him to strengthen the message.
“Come on, one drink!” he insisted. And then he grabbed your arm.
You could hear Neil’s glass clanking against a counter a bit too hard, but you were quicker. With one swift move you grabbed a toothpick from an abandoned drink next to you and pressed it against man’s thigh, hard enough for him to feel pain, but not hard enough to break the skin. He yelped and his eyes widened.
“Touch me one more time, I dare you,” your voice was dripping with sugar, but your eyes were deadly serious. “No means no, you twat, now piss off!”
The man squirmed and raised his hands in a defensive way. “Okay, okay,” he hissed and stood up. “Fucking bitch.”
You realized you were holding your breath the entire time, so you forced yourself to inhale and turned back to Neil. Your partner’s expression was a mixture of concern and amusement, so you let out a nervous laugh and ran the fingers though your hair.
“What’s wrong with those guys, I swear,” you shook your head, disgusted. You checked the time, 20 minutes.
Neil finished his drink and leaned your way. “Redhead and baldie over there have been watching the whole thing, come on,” - he said and reached out his hand - “I owe you a dance.”
You took Neil’s hand and followed him to the dance floor. You both knew you had to put on a bit of a show to keep the suspicion off your backs.
The rhythm of the song playing was a bit slower than before, the mood was heavier, made you think about a hot summer night. You could feel the bass pulsing in your veins, your heartbeat slowly getting in sync with it. Neil’s eyes found yours, you felt his gentle touch on your hand. You remembered he was a good dancer. He wasn’t a party beast, far from it, actually, but damn, seeing him move always made you swoon. That night was no different. Your bodies tuned to each other instantly, on one hand that was a familiar feeling, on the other- ...something changed, but you couldn’t put your finger on it yet, and to be honest, you didn’t really care in that moment. For the next few minutes nothing else mattered anymore, there was no mission, no past, no guilt. Only Neil and you, lost in the music, in each other’s closeness, in the rising warmth between the two of you.
Someone bumped into your back, making you lose your balance and fall into Neil’s arms.
“I've got you,” he said softly right into your ear.
His warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine and made you forget how to speak for a second. You pulled back to look at him and smiled, your heart singing in your chest.
With the corner of your eye you noticed a sudden change in the security’s behavior. Go time.
Neil must have seen the same thing, because he nodded and guided you back to the bar. The next few moments were crucial, but you already had a plan. You winked at Neil, took his hand and began to lightly stroke his long fingers. Then you got the bartender’s attention.
“Hey, settle this for us, we were wondering if you have any...” - you intertwined your fingers with Neil’s - “...tenets about PDA here,” you said, biting your lip at the sudden touch of Neil’s hand on your waist.
The bartender rolled their eyes and slid a glass of water your way. You could see a shiny metal object under the glass.
“Not really, but I recommend avoiding the main lobby,” they laughed and turned to the next customer.
You exchanged a quick look with Neil. So they are switching the swap location. With his hand still on your waist, he pulled you a bit closer, raising the other hand and slowly tucking a part of your hair behind your ear. That gave you enough time to get the key and hide it in his pocket.
You made your way to the toilet area of the club, where the storage was supposed to be. You maneuvered around the guards playing a tipsy couple, giggling and leaning on each other, not so different from other party couples around you. There were less people next to the storage, thank the Universe, you couldn’t proceed with the mission without getting your stuff first. Neil took the key and opened the lock, he was about to press the handle when you spotted another guard coming your way. You grabbed Neil by the front of his shirt and pulled him your way, slamming your back against the wall painfully. Your eyes locked with his. You buried your face in the crook of his neck. Neil’s hand grazed your hip, the other one, holding the key, slid behind your back. You closed your eyes so you could focus on the sound of footsteps around you, trying to tune out the overwhelming scent of Neil’s cologne.
“I think we’re clear,” he said in a husky voice.
You decided not to comment on it, focusing on leveling your own breath.
Neil entered the storage and you followed him, quickly closing the door behind you. You found your gear hidden in one of the boxes at the back of the room: a lockbox with a laptop, a pair of pistols, silencers, ammo, walkies, a backpack and two bulletproof vests. You opened the computer and ran a program, connecting it to the club’s security system and allowing it to access all the cameras in the building. Meanwhile, Neil got final instructions from Ives and checked the guns. The meeting had already begun. You watched two men carefully examining the contents of a black suitcase. There. Some of the parts dropped back into their hands. What the hell did they need it for?
Neil tossed you your vest, already equipped with everything you needed. Then you had to trigger some silent alarms to smoke the bastards out of that place, but without scaring the civilians in the club. The less people outside, the better. You tapped few command lines into the software and watched the guards outside the transaction room jump at their places, one of them going inside to alert the bosses, the other one rushing to check for the intruders.
You packed all your things to the backpack and gave it to Neil. He pushed three boxes together so you could easily reach the small window near the ceiling, allowing you both to drop in the back alley.
Clear. You jumped down quietly and ran towards the back entrance, where you expected some company. Neil was right behind you, taking cover at the other side of the door. 3...2...1.
The door opened with a loud thud and you grabbed the first man that went through them. He didn’t put up much of a fight, bless his soul.
The next one was quite a different story.
Same as all the others after him.
Next thing you knew, you were ducking into cover behind some dumpster, shots being fired in your direction.
“Just like old times, huh?” Neil laughed as he joined you a moment later, hitting his back against the dumpster. There was a moment of silence and he wanted to get up, but you grabbed his arm and shook your head.
“Wait.”
Two more shots.
Why does nobody count?
“Now!”
You focused your fire at two remaining guards while your partner ran after a guy trying to escape with the inverted materials. Poor bastard didn’t have a chance. Neil shot him in the leg long before he could reach a car parked at the end of the alley.
You made sure none of the guards remained a threat and you joined Neil near the knocked-out man.
“Took you long enough,” you said, looking around for any witnesses. Luckily, the street was empty, thanks to late hour and the work of Ives and the rest of the team, of course.
“You told me to wait!” Neil scoffed, checking out the suitcase. Everything seemed to be in place.
“And you’re welcome.”
You wiped the sweat from your forehead and hissed from the sudden pain. You looked at your fingers. Blood.
Neil jumped on his feet, clearly worried.
“Y/N, your brow...” he raised his hand as if he wanted to examine your wound, but he hesitated. He placed it on your shoulder instead and looked into your eyes. “You okay?”
You put your hand on his chest and smiled reassuringly. “I’m fine Neil, what about you?”
Neil nodded and wrapped his arms around you, pulling you into a hug.
Oh.
You noticed your team’s car approaching from the distance.
(next Chapter ->)
#neil tenet#neil tenet x reader#neil x reader#tenet#robert pattinson#tenet fanfic#neil tenet fanfic#stuck in reverse
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I'm sorry
Reid x reader
ANGST AHAHA
Req but @blankets-for-bees
Warnings: kidnapping, established relationship, gunshot, Spencer being an ass at first, also this IS NOT really funny as my other works //read: I'll try because I'm just such a naturally good comedian,,,or a mental asylum escapee,,// 🤩 OH and a happy ending
Spencer had been,,,,
Awfully cold to you
For the last 6 months
Yeah, it was beginning to get on your nerves
It felt like living with a whole ghost 👻
And it wasn't like it was his work
You two had the same job for fucks sake
You even shared a home
But lately
Spencer would ONLY talk to you at work
And only when it was life or death
So basically when hotch paired you two up
And omg
The team
They had no idea
So they insisted you two sleep in the same room on this case
Bc you two are their fav couple!!!!!
But they didn't know that for the last six months
You were practically single
Except you couldn't go anywhere
And you wouldn't go out to flirt with people
Because you were a good s/o
*cough* unlike Spencer *cough*
Ok so this usub
The universe said
Fuck you, yn yln 🤩🤪🤡
This particular unsub
Kidnapped failing couples
And threw them in a house
A giant doll house
And sedated them
And played with them like dolls
And made them kiss and stuff
Like
Idk how to explain it
Like when you were little
And you didn't know you really LIKED liked girls
But you were always making your Frankie and ghoulia monster high dolls kiss in the first grade????
Or like
I think it's like ep 12 season 5
My best friend and I watched that one
Sigh
I miss her
Anyways
When you finally moved rooms
You walked in
And it felt like the weight of the world was lifted
Off of your shoulders
Don't worry the world is still pretty heavy
Issok though the world doesn't have to be a skinny legend
WAIT
This is supposed to be an angst
Ok
AHEM
Angsty angst angst
So you were like
Hell yeah
I'm gonna go chill in the jacuzzi
Then I'm gonna come back
And I'm gonna have a level head
Key words: come back
See, I don't think you have the facilities for that, big man
Okokok
So you were vibing in the jacuzzi
Then you saw Spencer
And
Gasp!
A woman that didn't look like any of the girls on the team was going into his room!!
You knew
You were being irrational
But you were like
Son of a bitch >:(
Alexa play jealousy by Monsta x
Anny. W. Ays
You went into the room
Or at least you knocked
And gasp
She answered
Ok
She seemed,,,
Suspicious
Probably bc she's the unsub yn you dumb bitch
And you were like
"Hey is Spencer in there?"
Like you WEREN'T his h*cking gf
And she straight up
PUNCHES YOU
Ok more like
Knocks you out with a blow to the face
And draws you inside
Ok now Spencers pov bc you're getting too much attention and he needs an explanation for making me play jealousy
Spencer
Oh god that I don't believe in how do I explain him
He was having a tough time
Ok wbk he's smart as hell
But when I comes to people who are FINE
Such as yourself
He gets a lil
*Patrick star from Spongebob noises*
So
Even if you guys had literally been dating for like
Five? Six? Years
He was starting to get scared
Bc
Ok so you guys had said the L world
You said it all the time
But
Spencer
He
He wanted to propose to you
Like
On one knee
Ring and everything
But he was scared
He was really really scared
Bc he wouldn't know what to do if you said no
Which
Why would you
You two were practically already married
You literally had a drunken, unofficial ceremony at Rossi's place one time
But he felt like
You wouldn't be ready
So he was like
Ok gotta set up a back up plan
If they reject me
And I have to go to work and see them
How do I not see them
How do I live without them?
Ah
I ignore them
😌
Plan: set
Spencer : fucking idiot
SO HE
He acted like you weren't there
And he eventually thought you were mad at him
Bc you weren't reaching out any more
Dumb bitch they think YOU'RE mad at them
Okokokok
Back to kidnapping
When he woke up
He was,,,,
*drum roll*
In a house?
A really nice house
Or at least the bedroom was nice
Or the roof of it
And what he could see from his peripheral vision
He could see you though
He could feel you
You were laying on his chest
Your arms around him
And he could tell you were still asleep
His serotonin levels went up higher than they had in months
Over the last six months he hadn't said a word
And he'd let you sleep on the couch
Smh and I thought he was a genius
But he missed you
But he had to make sure he was ready
To be honest
He probably knew what he was doing was irrational and the definition of idiotic
He also knew that by doing this he was maximising his chances of you not wanting to marry him
But he just
"Y'all hear smth?" -Spencer Reid, about his problems
Annie Oakley
Anyways
While he was too busy making heart eyes at your sleeping figure
Ya boy forgot to check if he could move
Turns out,,,,
He couldn't
Bc,,,,
*puts hands together like cat in the hat does*
This unsub, like I said before
SEDATED YOU TWO
So he waited
Until
The woman he unwillingly let into his hotel room, all by the service of a gun and a threat to his life 😄
Came and did whatever the fuck she was gonna do
Play with you guys more than my 6th grade crush played with my heart
And she did😋🥳🤩!!!!
But don't fret
She wasn't gonna hurt you
You had actually concluded the deaths were accidental
Just like me
Okoko so
She was strong
Like really fucking strong
Because she hauled both you and Spence
Into a little dining room
And served and fed you breakfast
You were connected to iv tubes
But still
But everything
The creepiest detail
According to me at least 💁✨
Was how all the food and everything
Were wood
Like
Toys for kids
Or something karuna satori would use in an asmr video
-
You woke up in the middle of,,,
Watching a movie on the couch with Spencer????
It was still daytime
Or so you thought
Bc the unsub pulled up
WITH A GUN
You don't have many things in life rn, but here's a list if things you do have, to cheer you up 😋
A lovely hole in your arm! V v useful for holding very small, thin, cups!!!
A v sad Spencer Reid! Comes with his own tears and despair!!! How fun!
And last but not least!
A wonderful speech from our sponsor!! //read: the unsub//
"Why must everything bad always happen to me! You two are very bad dolls! No one is a good doll, you're all useless and now I have to kill you >:("
Lmfao why does she sound like my bratty baby cousin
Anyways
"The FBI is at the door! Which one of you called them? You whore! It was probably you!"
First of all,,, how dare she
You didn't even THINK about other men in the 6 months your boyFRIEND ghosted you
So
Jokes on her
Second of all
You were bleeding out and Spencer was wiggling behind you
Probably a victory dance smh 😤
But then
GASP!!!
she went upstairs 🏃♀️🏃♀️
And you heard voices
Morgan!!! Hotch!!! *insert police's name*!!
Then you passed out bc
💥bloodloss💥
And when you woke up
Spencer was fine
Physically
But he was hunched over
"Yn I'm so sorry. I love you so much and I was so scared I'd lose you if I proposed too early, and now I'm probably going to lose you without even saying a word. Honey I love you, I love you so much-"
And you were like
Hold up
LET GO OF MY HAND MF YOU MAY BE SKINNY BUT YOUR STRONG WTF
Then
"Did you say purpose?"
And he was like
"Yes(?) "
And you kissed him for the first time in sixth months
"Yes I'll marry, now let go of my hand"
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#aaron hotch hotchner#agent hotchner#aaron hotchner#derek morgan#jj#criminal minds x y/n#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds x oc
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Things that are hot and sexy (because i do them)
• being unable to cite sources no matter how long you spend on it or how long you try
• getting a boost of motivation to work but on the wrong thing
• actually don't mind doing school work and have a thirst for knowledge but hate failure and not having time to finish assignments
• "wow i can't believe i finished all my assignments for the week! So fast. I have time to study and actually perfect my work and get better grades" *gets more assignments* *cries*
• i can't meet my own high standards
• being so stressed because of mom that i have horrible mood swings and im in a constant state of rage and anxiety
• being relieved when my friends invite me to do things because then i see it as an obligation and im "forced" to go (even though they'd understand if i said no, i see it as an obligation for my own mental wellbeing)
• wanting desperately to help others but struggling to even take care of yourself
• i can do the work, i can handle the workload. But i can't handle the pressure of my mom checking my grades
• i know that I'm smart and i know that I can do it. Ive been working so hard and my work is paying off but i need my mom to trust me
• overeating due to stress and went on an etsy shopping spree. Had to force myself to stop "stress buying" stuff and "stress eating"
• my dumb little passion project went on hiatus because im busy. Which is fine but a bit dissapointing
• i love it here. I don't want to leave. I love the art program. The work is a lot but i love my classes and my friends and my life here. What if one day something horrible happens and i have to leave because its too expensive?
• everything in my life is going good but my mom stresses me out so much that it's no longer going good
• I'm sorry for being incompetent... Even on my medicine. I am much better off than before and i can actually think but. I can't focus and i often miss intructions on assignments unless i write down absolutely everything. Why am i like this?
• my high empathy problems are coming up again because im so emotional.
• i am fine on 6 hours of sleep a night now but i wonder how long that will last. I don't have enough time to sleep for 8 hours every night. And maybe its because i take too many breaks but if i dont take breaks, i can't focus and everything just because thoughts that don't make sense
• im so stressed. Please just let me get my work done. All i ask is to be able to just sit down, relax, get my work done. I want to do so well on the exam later this week that I bump my B to an A or just even a high B.
• at least i enjoy school. High school and before was... Much worse. I don't enjoy spending hours trying to find out how to cite very specific topics and i dislike that one of my professors is a big perfectionist and so i often lose points on assignments (everyone does) no matter how hard i try to make it perfect. And i dislike having to check canvas so often because its difficult to navigate and i swear they try to hide assignments from us. And i hate that i have so much work that some weeks i wonder if i can possibly get it all done. And i hate group projects and i hate writing boring essays. But i love my classes at least. And i want to do well. I will do well. I am going to make all A's if it kills me. I was a B/C student in high school with occasional A's. If i just studied more (i never studied), i could have been one of the best students there, i believe. I didn't study, but I'm glad I didn't because it didn't matter as long as I got ok grades and I passed. I enjoyed my youth (not that im not still young...not that those years weren't the worst). But now i have to make A's or at least high B's because I know i can and I have to prove to my mom that I can do it. Maybe if i get good enough grades, she will back off some. Then I can prove to her that i really don't need her "help".
• this is way too specific of a list
• i want a job. If only i had time for a job. I have a strong work ethic. Im a good little capitalist slave. Please give me mone- i mean. Work. Yeah... Work...
But I dont have time for a job. Im very thankful that i dont need one. But I need to grow up and get a job because it will help me in the future
• speaking of which....a job i applied for months ago just called today... A lite late, buddy. Im 2 hours away now.
• but god... I so want to work there. I hear its a great place to work and the owner is gay (aka, not going to be homophobic to me)
• i wish i had my suitemate/neighbor's life. Like loudly talking on the phone and slamming doors as loud as possible all day long? And she's an RA so she gets paid.
• im calling my mom soon and getting this shit over with. Also i have somewhere to go with friends tonight so we can kidna- i mean recruit ppl for the theatre club. Im no theatre person but i am there for my friend and to make props.
• i can't do it.
• but if i do this, ill be free....
• maybe a quick meditation beforehand. Maybe self hypnosis so i can emotionally numb myself for a few minutes... Idk if im experienced enough to do that yet... But I've been doing it for years so might as well give it a try
• have i really resorted to self hypnosis to deal with the stress of calling my own mother?
• am i really so weak that even though everything is going well, something as simple as my mom calling to check my grades once a week makes me so upset that I cry almost every day about it?
• i know what she is doing is not legal. But what can I do about it?
• my mom thinks that im incompetent as well. That's why she checks my grades. She thinks I can't do it. She didn't even think that I had the ability to live by myself. I proved her wrong there.
• im working so hard partly because of her. So why does me working hard and thus not having time to call make her upset?
• it will all be over by tomorrow.
• perhaps calling her on the phone in a public space would be better. Maybe if she realizes that im not just in my dorm....
Luckily, my mom cares a little too much about social norms. She's used against me this all my life but perhaps it could be beneficial to me.
•thats right. I can just pack my stuff i need for my work. Then ill meditate for a bit and take a tea break. Ill go take everything to a public place with lots of people and call her then.
• i don't want to bring my friends into this, it wouldn't be right. But i wish that they would just sit next to me while I was on the phone. For emotional support at least. But i wouldn't ask them to do that, especially since we haven't known each other long. But i think it would make everything better if i had someone else to back me up
• people must be sick and tired of these posts. Im sorry.
• my mom says she's proud of me, but she doesnt act like it. She used to trust me. When i was 16/17, she would say that its up to me, my responsibility, that I knew what I was doing. Now, im 18. Why does she no longer trust me? I am an adult now. It doesn't make sense. I'm more responsible than I was at that age and im an adult now. It doesn't make sense at all, shouldn't she trust me more?
• i check my own grades religiously. Why is it necessary for her to do so too? What does that accomplish?
• i have an A, 2 almost A's, 2 low B's (but i know i can get the grade up and im studying hard to do so) and one C (it was an assignment that everyone did poorly on and another homework assignment that i did poorly on because I was exhausted). I know a C is bad but it's my drawing class. My favorite class. I do well in there and i think I'm probably one of the better peforming students in there. The C was just a small mistake and since we have more work in there now, getting that grade up will not be difficult. But i feel like all of my hard work just doesn't matter anymore. It will not satisfy her either way. Even if I had all A's, she would probably still be upset that I didn't have high enough A's. One of my professors says that she doesn't give A's on projects because "mistakes happen in art and you have to accept it".
• heavy workload... Im fine doing it but... I can't do it well with the amount of time I'm given. If i just had the weekend as well and not just the rest of the week. If i had just one full day more.
• this weekend will probably be dedicated to next week's work if i can do it early
• i can't call her. It's too stressful.
• im lightheaded just thinking about it
• i have every right to be angry. I have every fucking right to be angry.
• my day should revolve around schoolwork and studying. My weekends should revolve around taking breaks and light workloads. But every moment of every day revolved around my mom instead.
• and to think... If i lived in a place where college wasnt so expensive... Perhaps she would leave me be. Perhaps my grades would be so much better and perhaps I would be happy.
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HI BABY!!!!
I LOVE THOSE TYPES OF VIDEOS SO MUCH THE SECOND THE SONG STARTED I KNEW WHAT WAS GONNA HAPPEN!!!! I’M SO HAPPY ALSO THE PLAYER TRYING TO MAKE ZHONGLI DANCE SKDJFJDKDJFLD i love how dancin’ has just become the official genshin song.
yes back to scheduled program:
it’s a super unpopular opinion 😳 i’ve never heard anyone say that skdhdfjdks. but same i think i’ve seen the first two over ten times throughout the years but i’ve only seen the last one Once. the movies do a great job at lore though so i don’t think reading the books are necessary... personal opinion. OH idk how famous it is but it’s a truth and dare fic and it’s super nsfw idk how much you like reading those but it’s called ‘it started with a spin’... it’s a mess but i remember reading it years ago and really enjoying it jshshsj.. also WOW???? you really fell into the drarry hole huh? granted it’s understandable they have some amazing writers. and sooo much content.
BUNNY CUTE CLUNA OH MY GOD HE SAID BUNNY CUTE!!!!!!! 🥺 ok this just made razor and bennett my new favorite duo in the game sorry everybody else..... ok nvm aether + razor too? wait no now i’m confused razor should be everybody’s baby.. including ours yes let’s adopt him... i can’t believe we already have children together 😳
RIGHT? i love that so much too! as much as i enjoy canon bamf midoriya i love fics that contain quirkless midoriya as well. something about him not needing a quirk yet changing the world is just *chefs kiss* that does feel like a you thing to do lmao sjshskks imagine how easy writing would be that way. also i’ve been curious about smth: do you have any favorite fics you can recommend? longer fics perferably i’m feeling Angsty.
it is a long time but idk.. it can create friendships that last for a long time. i’m still bestfriends with people i got to know at 5 years old and i’m 21 now so sjsjdksdk i guess being around each other for so long makes your bond different. but i’m sure it’s the same when you share those crucial teenage years together too.
diluc is always there and he’s so tempting.. damn. but yeah after xiao you could go for it!! imagine having xiao and diluc on your team... the fucking op-ness. is it difficult to get primogems at the higher levels?
WHAT????? are you kidding????? holy shit this game is on something.... how long will it take to ascend hahaha. now i know what streamers mean when they say that it’s okay to stop at level 80 with most characters....
CLUNA DO YOU HAVE 8 TUMBLR ACCS OR AM I PICKING THIS UP WRONGLY.... but jokes aside that the best system you don’t have to worry about spamming one blog or it being messy. i admire that a lot, couldn’t be me but i admire that a lot.
CHONGYUN EATING COTTON CANDY.. i just got a visual like him picking cotton candy from his hair and snacking on it help shdjjdhdjsks he’s so adorable. (pink and blue are equally used here!! i mostly see it during fairs and stuff. do you like it?) dip dye was so famous around that time remember when everybody did it? i remember crying bc i wasn’t allowed. and yeah i dye my hair once a year usually. mostly softer brown colors (my natural hair color is dark brown) and black when i’m feeling emo. i did peachy red hair once and i think that was my prime hsjsks. wbu? have you ever dyed it?
OIKAWAAAAA....... there’s something so fucking good about a seemingly confident boy that’s actually super insecure and very passionate that just hits right. right? and i do have two hq wips actually they aren’t very advanced because i’ve been so busy but they exist. one iwaoi and one kagehina. those two are my main ships in the show so far actually, that might change but who knows. i just love those two soooo much. the dynamics are just mwah. i need to get them out in the world some day.... hbu?? are you currently working on anything? hq or anything else? AND OFC IVE SEEN THAT. i actually love that drawing sooooo much cluna i remember seeing it weeks ago and going aaaaaah wow. the crown,,, his hair,,, i just think you’re the most amazing and i have such a crush on your talent.... 🥺 (just you in general as well actually 😳)
it’s the weekend, aka more time for us! can’t wait to hear from you again babe... <3
HI HIIIIII
HAHAHA YEAH WHEN I SAW IT I WAS LIKE OMGGGGGGG OMGGGGGG!!!!! the things people come up with wow 😩
oooo! that’s good then. i just don’t think i absorb information as well from movies compared to books ahaha. well i’ve learnt all the important stuff through fics now i reckon 🤪 oh i’ve seen that!! but i’ve purposely been not reading it fhdjdjskkwndks i feel like the concept wouldn’t be my thing but.. i might give it a shot. AND YESS there are so many good drarry authors who’ve written amazing fics ugh i love it here
it’s what razor deserves 😩😩 where should we take him first 🤪 family day out
hmmm fic recs which pairing? i could give you a lot of drarry, and a decent amount of iwaoi and kagehina maybe.. i don’t read a lot of fic for pairings/fandoms i write unfortunately.. but for a start the drarry fic running on air i mentioned is reaaaaally good!! a shorter one but just as good one is “to hurt and heal”. and i hope you’re doing alright 💞
omg nice!! that’s so sweet tho.. do you know anyone who’s had their childhood friends to lovers experience <33 ahahah
dude xiao and diluc omg… i am manifesting 🕯 it kinda is! if you run out of achievements and you’ve explored everything you can only really get primos from your daily commissions… i believe. which is why updates with new areas like dragonspine are a big blessing djdjskkdnfjc
yeah same omg crazy.. i think i might try levelling some of my main 4 up with books and then i’ll just like passively let them gain xp as i play lmao.…
I HAVE...… DEFINITELY MORE THAN 8 INCLUDING ONES IM JUST USING TO SAVE URLS/BLOGS I STARTED BUT NEVER CONTINUED BUT..… yeahhhhhh LMAO
omg.… your brain m.a. your brain!!! (i love cotton candy!! we call it fairy floss ehehe. do you like it?) FJSKKDKSMS i wasn’t allowed either 😔😔. oh nice!! omg peachy red??? das cool af. and i’ve never dyed my hair before!! but i’ve been wanting to bleach it lately heheh
iwaoi and kagehina dynamics are definitely top tier… i hope you’re able to work on those wips again soon!! and i have a lot of hq wips!! none i’m actively working on.. but yeah! thank you so much 😭😭😭😭 you’re too too kind to me 😭😭😭 but yeah i was also like??? i really did that??? wow. i must’ve been possessed by some kinda oikawa loving and good at drawing demon when i drew that fr (the feeling is.. mutual 😳)
ALSO THAT REMINDS ME. I HAVE THE PERFECT PLACE TO GO ON OUR CO-OP DATE omg so i was thinking about where we could possibly go together as xingqiu and chongyun before falling asleep and literally startled awake when i realised… won’t tell you yet so it’s a surprise hehehe unless you also know 👀 what i’m thinking 👀
woo!! can’t wait for your reply 💌
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TAGGED BY @kagsisnotonfire thank you so much for tagging me this was so much fun omg!!! i love these and love when you tag me in stuff <3 thanks again!
Five things you’ll find in my bag
(OKAY I ONLY USE MY SCHOOL BAG SO ILL DO IF I HAD LIKE A PERSONAL BAG) BOOKS AND LATELY ITS BEEN MANGA
my earphones because i need to drown out the world
marshmallow pumpkin spice lotion >:3c
my car keys so i can SKADOOSH ON OUT OF WHEREVER I AM
my sketchbook and some pencils!
Five things in my bedroom
a bunch of polaroids hung up on my wall (IT LIGHTS UP ITS SO CUTE) of my friends, family, pretty stuff, and cats!
a bunch of neko atsume and pusheen stuffed animals wow i have too many
a white bookshelf filled with a bunch of books, manga and regular ones alike
positive and inspirational quotes
a cork board with some stuff from my friends and also plane tickets and souvenirs!!
Five things I’ve always wanted to do in life?
visit tokyo with my friends! DEFINITELY CAT ISLAND TOO I NEED TO VISIT IT BEFORE I DIE THAT WOULD BE HEAVEN
get better at drawing humans realistically!
learn to speak japanese, that would be so much fun
working at a starbucks or barnes and nobles would be so cool i would love to do that!!
make people happy, and smile and laugh, and know how much they mean to me!!
Five things that make me happy
my friends and family!! i love them to absolute bits theyre all such beautiful people inside and out wow im so lucky
MY CATS I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO ADORABLE AND THEY KILL ME
watching my fav youtubers, dan howell, phil lester, mari takahashi and etc!!
making people happy is seriously my favorite thing to do it makes me so happy I LOVE IT SO MUCH...i love making people smile and laugh its so beautiful and amazing!!
learning what people actually think of me is really nice its interesting to think some people dont think im trash like what? how? i love?
Five things I’m currently into
SMOSH WINTER GAMES AGAIN IM SO HYPED I LOVE THEM SO MUCH OH MY GOD
courtney millers spotify playlist what the fuck i love her music taste im so dead im listening to it right now actually
learning more random things about people im close to, asking them random questions to know more (i do this all the time im so annoying)
driving around at night with someone is really fun i just did it with my sister and we had such a blast its so relaxing and fun and its amazing to just get away from everything oh my god??? i love it so much its so much weight off my shoulders
ive been a lot more into twitter lately IM SORRY ABOUT BEING SO ABSENT ON TUMBLR IVE BEEN SO BUSY AAAAA
Five things on my to-do list
not die lol
make it through tomorrow because woah ive got a presentation and i want to die BUT HEY this week i have a five day weekend im so pumped i want to sleep so bad
get closer with my good friends and learn more small things about them
invite my friends over more and go out driving with them at night and just talk because ive only ever done it with my sister and one other friend omg BUT ITS SO MUCH FUN I NEED TO DO IT MORE
this isnt realistic BUT NOT BE SO BUSY ALL THE TIME SO I CAN PLAY GAMES AND MARATHON VIDEOS AND NOT BE EXHAUSTED ALL THE TIME
Five things people may not know about me.
95% of my camera roll is animals
i seriously love fruits so much and my top three favs are peaches, grapes, and strawberries! ALSO IF YOU EAT A STRAWBERRY AND A GRAPE AT THE SAME TIME IT TASTES AMAZING I DO IT ALL THE TIME
literally all bugs except for MAYBE butterflies scare the crap out of me, im absolutely terrified. clowns are scary too
my usual starbucks order is just a mocha frappuccino!! but i really love pumpkin spice lattes and those are definitely my favorite, i wish they were all year round though omg. if i had to choose a different hot drink though id choose a white chocolate mocha! i love coffee!
my favorite book series are the walking dead and harry potter! im a hufflepuff as well! robert kirkman and j.k. rowling are probably my favorite authors too....but my fav book of all time is the perks of being a wallflower and ive read it like 5 or 6 times!
thank you for reading!! and also i tag: @irl-gabriel @snowmaw @4wns
#this was so much fun im dead i loved this#thank you again so much for tagging me i really appreciate it!!!#always feel free to tag me in things theyre always so much fun!#kagsisnotonfire#ash meows#food mention
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