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roadtodeltarune · 5 months

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Earthbound Start!

Howdy, y'all! I'm back with another week's update! Though, this is more like a day 1 update.

For the past week, I've been relaxing, fighting a cold, and working. But how far have I gone with the project? Not far. I decided to spend this week watching retrospectives on Mother 1, learning more about its creation, impact, and interpretations. I've also been letting my thoughts on Mother 1 settle into something more concrete. In short: I stand by my earlier thoughts, and you can see those in my other posts.

Today, I have big news! I started Earthbound! Yesterday, I couldn't help myself and decided to start up the game. I stayed up playing it for a long time. I almost got sucked back in this morning but pulled myself out to give the week's update.

As promised, we're doing a fruit theme, matching the veggie theme from last time. A few things about their names: I regret not naming Ness "Strawb" instead, but "Straw" has grown on me. Plus with his dog, it's team StrawBerry. "Bana" is obviously named after a banana, but I like pronouncing it the same as "Launa". "Apple" I named 'cause of his apple-green suit. I had no clue that there was an inventor kid in this game also named Apple. Maybe they're brothers or cousins? Lastly, Grape, I was running out of fruit ideas. I was tempted to name him "Cherry" after the shape of his head, but most of my internet handles are "CherryKeri" or something similar, so I went for Grape. No particular reason, but I do like grapes.

Now for the elephant in the room: Giygas is back. Y'know, I figured he'd be in this game, but he got here faster than I thought. After making him have an emotional breakdown from hearing the song of his dead mom, I wonder how he's doing and what made him think it would be a good idea to come back.

As for Pokey, I had hopes for him at first. He's a bit of a jerk, but I could see a change arc for him in the future. Maybe... He kinda sucks, especially after he kidnapped Bana and said his honest apology was a lie. I wanna hit him with my baseball bat, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

When Buzz Buzz died, I felt so many emotions. Anger and sadness obviously, laughter at the funny dialogue, a sense of purpose and bravery to continue my journey, and confusion at how that all happened so fast and from the mix of feelings.

Speaking of the dialogue, this game is hilarious. The tombstone ad in the hospital had me cracking up, and there are a bunch of little things like that all over the game! It really helps to make me want to explore and read every sign.

After Buzz Buzz told me about how Giygas returned and it was my destiny to find some friends and kick his butt, I set out for Onett.

The city was fun, but I kept noticing these trucks. It's funny how they used to be a serious enemy and now they're normal. A weird thing about them: I think they have set spawn locations. I was running around a lot and kept seeing them flicker on the edge of the screen. It's a very minor thing, my ADHD just kept focusing on it.

While I was in Onett, I also found out a bunch of new features that are a huge improvement over Mother 1. First off, when I find items in the wild, it lets me have the option of dropping an item from my bag; in the first game, the random encounters would just not drop things if my bag was full. Second, when I buy armor or weapons and equip them at the store, it instantly gives me the option to sell my old items. It's such a small thing, but it makes the whole game smoother and faster pace.

A difference that I wish they kept is the run button, walking is a bit too slow for me. I think I'm getting used to it, but the run button made backtracking a lot better.

Since I was in town, I decided to defeat an evil gang. They had a key needed to get the first melody, and they were causing trouble for everyone. So I fought Franky and his Battle Franky Mark II. It was actually not too bad of a fight; I two-shot him with a SMASH and a regular bash.

Going into the caves, I unlocked my signature move: PSI Juice! I didn't think this was how they'd use my "Favorite Thing" but I think it fits pretty well! I like to imagine I'm hitting them with so much power, that I'm wringing the juice out of them, like in a Tom and Jerry cartoon. I mostly used the move for big hits and for crowd control.

First Melody nabbed, and I think I'll mention it now. The plot of this game, so far, is very similar to Mother 1. Mother 1: Collect the melodies and some friends to defeat Giygas. Mother 2: Collect the melodies and some friends to defeat Giygas. It's the same, except the details were changed. Mother 1: Queen Mary lost her memory and only the melodies can restore it, but the melodies are being used by aliens to do evil deeds like restoring the dead. By making friends and doing good deeds, you gain the magic music of love, and with this, you restore Queen Mary's memories and then face the one behind it all: Giygas. So far, there is no Queen Mary in this game. In Mother 2: Giygas has returned and Buzz Buzz goes back in time to stop him before it's too late. He asks for your help and you go out to make friends and collect the melodies, the magic music that can defeat Giygas. The only things that are similar in these plots are the melodies and Giygas being the big baddie, but I think that makes sense. Only love can defeat evil. Though, I am curious about one thing: how are the melodies here? Is it the same song?

Anyway, back on the road. I got more funny dialogue with the cops and man, these guys suck. I know this game is from Japan and made in the 90s, but I can't tell if this is pro-cop or anti-cop. I wanna say anti-cop, cause they fight you and everything, but the game doesn't treat them like full-blown antagonists.

On my way to Twoson, I got mushroomed. It was fine at first cause I didn't have any party members to accidentally hit, but then my controls got weird. Luckily, I was in town already when that started, so it became a fun little challenge to get to the hospital.

Hey so quick question: What's with the blue guys? No, not the cult, the guys that attack you in cities? Are they zombies? Drunks? Crazy people? All of the above? They're really weird. I kinda wish they weren't here, cause it makes the cities, a plan of safety in the first game, not so safe anymore.

As for those other blue guys, I don't like them. They kidnapped Bana to sacrifice? Wtf? I got geared up and went over there- I got stopped by a pencil... Well, I went back and got a Hint. I love these by the way, I think I'll be using hints when I get stuck from now on. In Mother 1, I had to use a walkthrough, but they risked spoiling me or making it too easy.

Okay, so the hint told me about the inventor kids. Other people told me about them, but I didn't think they were important and their inventions seemed expensive. I bit the bullet and donated 400 dollars and a cookie to them. Orange gave me his item and I went back- It didn't work...

When I got back through the cave, Red Apple called me and told me to meet with him. I don't know if it was a timed event after paying him, or if I accidently did the right thing by going to the pencil and trying Orange's bomb. Either way, I ran to Red Apple and got the Eraser. NOW, I made the trek.

This area was scary, with all sorts of dangerous enemies, colds, and twists and turns. Somehow, I made my way through even though the Blue Cult broke the first bridge.

In Happy Village, I fixed up my gear and did a little leveling up. This town is a little weird though. I mean in how they treat you at first, it's kind of the perfect representation of a cult. Most members are welcoming and subtly trying to make you join. The more extreme members notice you're a stranger who doesn't want to join, so they attack you. It's creepy. There's paint in their river, and even the cow was convinced!

Worse yet, I was getting homesick. That status condition wasn't in Mother 1, so it's brand new to me. It's very annoying, but I guess I just gotta call Mom regularly now? I thought it was cause there was something in the paint, but I think it's just a timed thing.

What a SHOCKING fight! It was actually pretty fun! Most of his attacks didn't hurt me much, so I just wailed at him with Bashes and Juices. A small detail upped the creepy factor though: the statue. Earlier in the game, I went to X. Agerate's house and he took me to the statue he found. I think this might be the same one! How did it get here? These people know it's dangerous now, but it's not destroyed, so what'll happen to it? I want to break it to bits just to be safe!

Two gangs down and I rescued Bana! She had been sending messages in my dreams. The people of Twoson missed her so much, but the cult had treated her horribly. Of course, I had to save her after all that! It's clear to me that she'll be like Potato(Ana) from Mother 1, but I wonder if her Bashes will be stronger or if she'll get even greater spells. Her learning set and how much damage her spells do are different from Potato, so I have some learning and training to do.

I thought I'd go through the cave while I was there, so I used it as a place to level up Bana. She's now level 15 while Straw is level 21, so the gap is shrinking! Her Teddy Bear helped a lot, it's a great tool for training! I also learned a neat change from Mother 1 that I love!

Say you were fighting two Mega Borg in Mother 1 and you target everyone on the first, leaving the second free from damage on that turn. You'd do that because they're tough so you know you need to take it down with multiple hits. But surprised! Someone landed a SMASH, so it goes down easy. Now your party is wasting PP and time just attacking the air while the second Mega Borg is completely fine! Quite the hypothetical, but it happened to me a lot in Mother 1. Well, they fixed that! Now, if an enemy fails, your characters will instantly target the other one. This is a feature that Pokemon also has. It's very convenient and makes the fights faster-paced.

We'll end this week's update with the Second Melody! I'm not sure what this is supposed to be, a Hat Trail?

So far, I'm loving this game! I had a great time with Mother 1 and this is so much better! I can't forget to mention the amazing music and sprite art, a huge improvement that many might not notice right away. I found myself a few times just walking around, looking at how pretty everything is.

I'm shocked at how much I've done in just a day! This was all last night! All I did this morning before stopping to make this post was leave Happy Village and get back to Twoson. Next, we'll be going to Threed. I'm not sure what my journey has in store, but I'll see you down the road.

#toby fox #earthbound #deltarune #undertale #mother

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mogai-sunflowers · 2 years

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When are you going to get to your requests? /gen /nm

probably today or tomorrow, sry about that, adhd has been kicking my butt the last few days

#reign replies

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uswnt-keeper · 3 years

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Focus Isn’t My Strong Suit

Prompt by @cpaeralricey: Can you do a Kelley x youngersister!reader quarantining together and the reader has to to do School online but struggles cause of their ADHD and just lots of fluff and Kelley helping the crazy kid out. Does that make any sense? If not don’t worry about it.

Note before we start. Sorry if this is terrible, I don’t have ADHD so I don’t really know what it’s like, I tried to make this is fun as possible. Also just for future reference I will no longer be writing Kelley, Alex, or JJ fics. (There will be my final Alex post today, but that’s it).

This royally sucked... like to a whole other level of sucking... does that sound weird? It sounds weird, oh well... whatever. That’s not the point, the point is, I’m stuck doing online school, which normally isn’t that bad, but it all kind of happened all at once.

You see, I’d been flown out to visit Kelley, my older sister, in my spring break which happened to be at the beginning of March. I hadn’t seen her in a long time between her traveling for different teams, and I missed her. I miss all of my siblings honestly. Jerry was off doing business man things, and Erin was off hanging with her besties on some beach somewhere. Kelley was the youngest of my older siblings, but shes 32, I’m 16, big age difference there. I’d been adopted by my family at a young age and so, of course there would be an age difference, but they were family and Kelley and I were close.

Anyway, back to my main point of how much this sucked. The nation went on lockdown literally a week into my stay, I couldn’t leave for the airport or anything and Kelley’s games and trainings were suspended after the SheBelieves cup, even the Olympics were cancelled. So I was stuck, but that wasn’t what sucked, I was with Kelley, that was great, but then came online school.

Online school, for someone like me, is the worst possible option. I struggled with ADHD and paying attention in a normal class, but sitting on my own in a room of distractions would be even worse, I mean... how was I NOT suppose to say dream or cheat on a test?!

Not only that, but I was awaiting my prescription, we had to start ordering it so it shipped to Kelley’s apartment in Utah. So with that going on, we were now in late March and we realized it would be another day before my pills arrives... and I was out.

“Kelley!” I yelled from my bathroom, looking at the empty bottle.

Kelley came rushing in, “What, what is it?!”

“I’m out of meds,” I said hyper focused on the writing on the bottle.

“Oh.... OH WHAT?!” She grabbed the bottle out my hands, shaking the orange container around as if she was trying to summon more pills to her.

“It’s just a day, it won’t be that bad right?” I said and Kelley looked at me with a glare.

“When was the last time you weren’t on your meds?” She asked.

I thought about it for a moment, “Uhh, probably before I was diagnosed.”

“So when you were bouncing off the walls?” She asked and I shrugged, walking out the bathroom.

“Look, I have school in like... oh actually I’m late,” I said looking at my phone, it was only 8, but class started at 7:45.

Kelley groaned as I rushed to my laptop, she had moved to the dining table after finding me staring at my ceiling for an entire class, she was fun as a sister, but her feeling of responsibly over me was unbearable.

I logged into the class with my camera off, apologizing for being late and I made up some random excuse. I looked to Kelley who had just walked out of my room, and she rolled her eyes at me and tossed me t-shirt. I muted myself and looked at her confused.

“You forgot to put one on,” she said before I could ask and I looked down at myself realizing she was right, so I begrudgingly pulled in on with a huff.

After my first class, I had my second period, which was a study hall, and I hated it, all I ever did was stare at off into space, which ended up happening this time too. I went through the whole school day, completely unable to focus on anything as I felt my ADHD consume my movements and thoughts.

“Y/N!” Kelley snapped me out of my trance, I realized she sat in front of me, working on something of her own, “Your teacher asked you a question,” she said.

I unmuted myself to apologize before asking her to repeat the question. The one good thing about ADHD was that I often retained large chunks of info if it was interesting enough, so I had the knowledge to answer the question this time.

When I muted myself again I sighed, it was times liked these I hated my condition, it was unbearable and made me miss so much shit.

“You okay Speedster?” A nickname Kelley had gifted me at the age of 4 when I literally couldn’t stop running around, it’s fitting now as I’ve followed in her footsteps and started playing soccer.

“I hate not being able to focus,” I complained and finally, as I said that, the class was over.

“Well,” Kelley started, closing my laptop for me, “Maybe you should walk around or something, get some focus back?” She asked, I sighed again, it was the best idea so far, “I’ll be here if you if you need me.”

I stood up, taking my computer to my room and threw it on the bed. There was no way I could focus on doing yoga or lifting weights, not at all. All I wanted to do was run around, do anything but what I was doing. It was probably about 5 minutes in my room before I rushed out my room, heading to the kitchen to search Kelley’s cabinets.

“What are you doing in there?” Kelley turned after I rummaged for a few minutes.

“Food,” I replied.

“If your hungry I can make you sandwich or something,” she said, looking away from her computer.

“Ughhhhh,” I complained, “A sandwich sounds so boring,” I groaned and she rolled her eyes at me, going back to the meeting she was in.

I left the kitchen, heading back to my room, sitting on my bed feeling restless. I tried writing and reading, I even did some homework, but eventually I got bored again, and I felt antsy. That is, until I found something I could compare to gold.

“No way,” I whispered to myself, pulling two things out from under the guest bed, “This is gonna be so much fun.”

Kelley’s POV

I was worried about Y/N, I knew she would feel bad about her ADHD, usually I’d go distract her, but I was caught in this stupid meeting for another few minutes. I was listening to what my manager was saying amongst the other people there, until something stung me.

I flinched, looking at my arm, then around me and at the floor, finding a... nerf bullet?

There was a click and another one hit my temple this time.

“Ow,” I complained, looking to where I heard giggling.

It was Y/N of course, hiding behind a cardboard cut out of me with a nerf gun reaching around it.

“Y/N, don’t you—“ She shot me again, laughing hysterically, I turned to my computer, “Listen guys, I’m gonna have to go, got something to sort out,” I said and they nodded as I logged off.

Y/N looked at me with a challenge, if this is what she needed to calm down, then I guess a little match wouldn’t be bad.

“It is so on,” I said, reaching into one of the kitchen cabinets.

“WHAT?! You have a nerf gun just sitting in your kitchen?!”

“Never know when it might come in handy,” I shot at her, the bullet sticking itself right in her forehead and she huffed and smiled.

“I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“You wish,” I replied.

Turns out the one round turned into three hours of an intense and heated nerf battle, ending with Y/N surrendering to the couch where sweat fell from her head.

“Alright, alright, you win,” she said exhausted for once and I plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Told you I’d kick your butt,” I said.

“Surrendering doesn’t mean you kicked my butt,” she complained and I laughed.

“How you feeling?” I asked, looking to her now.

“Exhausted for the first time today,” she said with a smile, “Never thought I’d be happy to be tired.”

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her in to a hug, “You know there’s nothing wrong with your ADHD right?” I asked and she shrugged, “If you ever feel bad about it, remember that you can totally start a nerf war and it’s completely justified,” I said and she laughed.

“Thanks Kell.”

“Anytime kiddo.”

There was a pause.

“Do you have food?”

“I knew you wanted something.”

She laughed again and we spent the rest of the night eating and watching movies until we fell into a deep sleep.

#uswnt x reader #uswntxreader #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #kelley o'hara x reader

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drwhamrccola · 3 years

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02-01-2021

I’m having the worst of times right now. I feel terrible all the time. I’m always tired. My family and I constantly butt heads, and now I’m falling out with my online friends as well. Feels like I can’t have anything.

I feel like my parents favor my younger sister over me because she’s smaller and younger. This could be excused if she were a baby. She is not. She will be eighteen this summer, and I will be twenty-one next week. I am having to study from home now because of the virus, and the uptick in necessary chores for living at home is awful, especially because of the inequality between me and my sister. For example, when it’s her day to clean the kitchen, she will pitch fits about me not washing every dish I dirty, even though cleaning the dishes is the job of the person who has the kitchen that day. Mother will make me do it, citing that I should always clean up after myself. On my days to clean, Chloe will leave massive messes out from her baking projects and just from daily use. Now, mother will say that it doesn’t matter who dirtied these dishes. What matters is that we’re a family, and sometimes we have to buckle down and clean up after one another.

Another example, from back before the virus, when I was going to community college, was that when I was in marching band and I went away to competitions, my parents would remind me that I would need to spend my Sunday back catching up on the chores I missed on my trip. When Chloe started leaving, they would tell me that it was my responsibility to make sure her chores were all done in a timely fashion since she wasn’t here to do them. Bringing this up only earns eyerolls, and I am never taken seriously. My sister herself acknowledges that this is true. She gets the easier of all situations because she’s the baby of the family, even though she’s about to be an adult. However, she won’t go to bat for me with this, because she enjoys the privilege of the favoritism, and she tells me that I should just stick it out until I can go back to school later this year.

My dad is a whole other story. He used to abuse me physically, switched gears into emotionally and mentally, and now, though my interactions with him have lessened in quantity, he is either neutral or mean, but not quite abusive anymore. Becoming an adult who understood that how he treated me was illegal really gave me a leg up. But I still hate him. He is racist. He is misogynistic. He is homophobic. He is transphobic. And best of all, he is a liar. Saying that he is a liberal, voting Democrat, saying that he hates all the bad things and loves all the good things. In the same breath, though, gay men are disgusting and lesbian women are hot. Transgender folk are mutilating themselves with mental illness as an excuse to become abominations. Jewish people are naturally greedy, and black people are naturally more harsh and savage-like. My friends are all in different states of disposition with him. Some never want to meet him. Some want to meet him to see if it’s all true (which makes no sense, as I’ve explained that part of why he never got in trouble for treating us so badly is because he’s so outwardly charismatic that nobody ever believes it). Some are literally banned by their parents from being in my house while he is in it.

My issues with my friends are complicated. I Co-DM a D&D campaign with somebody. After playing since September of 2020, one of our players has attended about 10% of total sessions, despite contributing to the scheduling process and swearing he’ll be there. When he finally started being more consistent a week ago, the dynamic was so strange. The stakes of the adventure had changed so drastically over time, plus nobody had a relationship with his character, though technically he’d been with them the whole time. A few people mentioned to us that it was odd pretending to be his close friend when they didn’t have that connection, so we decided to ask him to create a new character, still at level, but fresh so the party could get to know him without it having a strange tone to it.

My Co-DM decided to take the reigns on asking him. It seemed to go fine. He appeared to be receptive to the reasoning and compliant. Then he changed his name in our Discord server to just a period. Doesn’t bode well. Then his girlfriend, the one I’m personally close with, left almost all of our mutual servers. We asked if something was wrong. Radio silence. Over the span of a week, they slowly withdrew their presence from all of our shared spaces. They even kicked only us out of their art server. It was pretty clear what was happening. Ghosting.

I hated that they were doing something like that to us, and I decided to just rip off the bandaid and get it over with. I messaged them for the last time that I was sorry something had come between us, wished them luck in the future, and blocked them both. A mutual friend who also thought I was being ghosted decided to get the truth of the situation, and she succeeded. Apparently they intended on coming back, they just needed space from us because they thought we were very disrespectful and we guilt-tripped the boyfriend. The vibes with all of my friends are weird now. Even though everyone agrees that I had every right to think I was being ghosted, some people think that I should chalk it up to a simple misunderstanding at get ready to make peace. Others think that the couple owes me an apology for refusing to communicate to me what was happening. The most extreme opinion I’ve heard is that they did this on purpose to trigger my RSD.

We talked about our mental issues, as friends online do, and I brought up that I had really bad RSD as a symptom of my ADHD. I told everyone, “If you guys decide you hate me or something and try to make a big thing out of it, you won’t get the opportunity. I don’t negotiate with that kind of thing, because I will become sad for days and get sick.” We didn’t really take it seriously because we didn’t expect this to happen. But a close friend says the couple decided to make it look like they were ghosting me to trigger my RSD, forcing me to feel guilty for how I treated them. I don’t personally think that’s true. I sure hope it isn’t. But the group isn’t going to be mended anytime soon. The couple left so many servers, most of which are owned by people who shun them for their actions. One of them I’m almost certain won’t let them back in again.

Speaking of my RSD, this did trigger it, so if that’s what they were going for then they succeeded. I couldn’t concentrate on my schoolwork at all because of it, even though I really tried to. I had the work in front of me, I was technically trudging through, but I absorbed nothing and rarely got correct answers. So I am now missing three homework assignments. My birthday is in a week and I’m afraid I’m going to be too sad to care about it. Worse still, I made a lemon cake today to lift my spirits. Making it was fun, but I could only taste bitter despite the sugar in it. As well, I couldn’t taste my lunch as well as I thought I should. So, maybe throw some COVID into the mix.

I’m taking a break from discord to get away from all the drama that’s come about from D&D. So in the meantime I’m going to keep venting here. Away from everybody else.

#personal #blog post #depression #rejection sensitive dysphoria #abuse #favoritism

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fangirltothefullest · 5 years

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Bullet journals havee bewn my goddamned life saver. It's helping me in so many ways, it's like my adhd dream item. Those people who say you can cure depression if you just "think positively" are incorrect.... however Qui-Gon was correct about the "Your focus is your reality" thing. It's really really hard sometimes but actively trying to focus on the more positive things that happen in your day and focusing on what I did accomplish instead of what I wasnt able to accomplish, really is helping me to kick this depression AND my ADHD in the butt, and I couldn't do it without this little pink book. It helps me write down the stuff I did cause it's a physical thing I can force myself to remember exists so I can remind my otherwise scattered brain all I did and focus on the positive:

Maybe I didn't clean my room in weeks but I remembered to shower and brush my teeth.

Maybe I didn't manage to finish the Pinterest board for capstone just yet but I did a little bit of it and so I haven't failed yet.

Maybe I forgot to have a decent meal but I ate and I made sure to drink water today. I did a healthy thing.

All of it's written in the book! It's like having an outside memory source since mine is crappy!

And it's like....... I used to think I had to do everything the way neurological people did cause that's the Right Thing To Do. But it never worked for me! I forget a sticky note if it's been up too long! And last semester proved I couldn't just have all this info up in my head without it being overwhelming and so I got a bullet journal And promised myself that it would ONLY be used for Important Things like schedules and reminders and you know what? IT'S WORKING! And its boosting my confidence that anxiety and depresaion or not, I'm capable!

Actively making myself think about what I did day my day also helps me organize the journal because I have to write it in a place to remind myself of things and it's organized how I want it. Putting it all in this silly little bullet journal where I have easy access to a calender I had to make which helped stick the memory in place and to pages I've labeled with numbers helps me make a "chapter list". Page #48 tells me how much gas money I have and how much I've spent so far with space to do continued math. Page #45 is today's to-do list. I've hand made calendars up to 2021 cause marking the days iff makes me feel accomplished, page #43 shows me my class schedule and to the left of it, page #42 has all of the times I have to go to bed on what days, times I have to get up to get decent sleep, and times to leave the house so we get there on time.

I have never been this organized in my entire life and I wake up feeling GOOD because this little book is helping me do all the things I struggle with so much that it's helping me beat my depression back with a stick. Because of this book I can take a few minutes out of my day to see where I'm at, to write down the stuff I accomplished no matter how small. It's helping me keep my focus on the positive.

Its amazing that when you find that one thing that helps your disability how much of a difference it can make on not only your life, but your perspective as well. Screw neurological ways of remembering shit. I'm naming my bullet journal Mini-Brain (Minnie for short) and she's gonna be my memory for me and depression and anxiety can SUCK IT!!!

#tashi speaks

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oasislake76 · 5 years

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I’m so fucking happy and free and it’s only been a month so far

So I got a new therapist last month and I’ve been seeing her every three days out of the week since the start of my senior year of high school, and her names Bonebell or Bon. and I STG this strong bodied 6’0, without wearing her 5” heels, God fearing black woman that’s in her early 60’s embodies every loving parent while the sun keeps fire to her spirit while the moon guides her soul.

I never cried in any of my previous therapist’s offices before because they weren’t really addressing my anxiety, depression, and my struggles with teachers, peers, and my entire family tree not taking my ADHD and ADD and very mild Autism (haven’t really got diagnosed what type yet and I have no clue either but my doctor said we’ll run tests next month) during activities and family get together and I absolutely hated going in general because they all were so bland and boring. I even had a few of my old male therapist state, with all my medical history and doctors test results, with absolutely certainty that I don’t have Autism and ADHD. I’ve been going to doctors, naturopaths, other kind of clinics since I was FOUR. you fucking name it I’ve probably been there, except for an asylum obviously or I probably wouldn’t be here.

Anyways. I fought, screamed, yelled, got physical, got, went cold, stayed silent, went moody, slipped into early preteen defiance. I had gotten into arguments, made some even quite their jobs because I was, in their words,

“the most difficult patient that won’t see the evidence in front of her! She should be taken out of school and be kept in her home.”

And other things you don’t fucking tell people with issues, and others stopping the appointment half way through and refunding my parents their money and told that I wouldn’t be their patient again. I’ve had a loosing streak until the start of senior year and I met Bon.

She’s so amazing and took the time to actually listen to me instead of the sheet that told her why I was here in the first place. She didn’t listen to my mom, She didn’t listen to my dad. In fact Bon actually kicked them from the room and banned them from ever coming in when it was my time to speak, not the parents time, because they kept interjection into the conversation to try and dial down the things I was worried about and what I wanted to get better. She was so warm and inviting and made sure to write down everything I said and never questioned me about my worries in the condescending ways the other did. She even doubled check that she got everything down.

And then, in her words, for fair trade she told me about herself. I won’t go into details about what she did say since that’s her privacy and I’m just sharing my butt load of problems. I never had anyone do that, a ‘you tell me something and then I give back’ kinda thing. She could easily tell from my face that I was floored and amazed at what was going on and she said something that I will never forget.

Bonebell: you’ve been dealing with so much shit for so long now that you need a good friend just as much as a good therapist. And I believe God or some other higher Entity saw that it was high time to bring our destinies together, and I would be honored I be your therapist and help you heal and grow into the rightful woman that you should be. You require so much trust to be able to open up about what’s bothering you and your past and I’m willing and ready to meet you half way and even go beyond to earn your trust and respect, because you know why? I see a wonderful, talented, kind person who has so much love to give to everyone around her and yet no one willing to receive it. I see a girl who had been beaten down constantly but got back up and showed the world, and continues too, that they couldn’t break her iron will and strength. I see a little girl that has been delt a bad hand of cards and it’s past due that old game ended and a different begins. You just deep of love and kindness after fate had put you through so much that I want to see you grow stronger and shine brighter and find the best ways that works for you.

And to say I didn’t start bawling my eyes out would be the biggest fucking lie I have ever told. Just the first two weeks we delved into some of my more recent dilemmas.

And it’s been such a fucking 180 with Bon to my old Therapist that I actually get up in the morning and do a little happy dance when I see that I have an appointment with her after school.

TL:DR - I got a new therapist that embodies all loving mothers and could make Zeus clean up his act if she really put her mind to it and I love her to death

#therapist #loving myself #getting better #one app. at a time

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starrynightofcontradictions · 5 years

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So, I love the Trials of Apollo. I think it’s probably Rick Riordan’s best work yet. There’s a lot of character development, more so than the other books, and yet there still the fast moving plot and humor that’s characteristic of Riordan’s books. I’ve seen and read a lot of analysis on here. However, I don’t see a whole lot about my girl Meg McCaffrey. At first Meg wasn’t my favorite character. I found her kind of annoying, but well-written. After her sibling-like relationship with Apollo became stronger, though, (I’m a sucker for the found-family trope) I began to truly love Meg as a character. So here ya go:

Meg McCaffrey: A Character Analysis

So, I started this when I noticed some people claim that Meg was hard to write. In my mental fandom fantasies that will never see the light of day, I’ve had a similar issue. It’s kind of hard to predict what she’ll do or say next. It’s difficult to give her dialogue because she’s so quiet. But at the same time, she’s a force of nature. I think I’ve kinda figured out why that is. This may come off as super obvious or completely off the wall, but I felt the need to get it down on paper.

I feel like Meg as a character is torn between two people: Who she is naturally and who she is as a result of emotional abuse. These two kind of clash.

When we first meet Meg she’s totally wild. She’s doing cartwheels across New York City and quite literally climbing the walls. She’s annoying and vibrant and colorful in the best possible way. Apollo claims she’s pain, but I think he’s secretly drawn to her natural energy the same way he is Rachel Elizabeth Dare. Meg is everything a wild ADHD little girl should be.

The one thing she’s not is talkative. Like most demigods, she hates talking about her past. She shuts down on several occasions when Apollo wants to talk about her history. It’s not until the third book that she tells him about her past, but even then she shows him instead of really explaining. I think this is all a result of Nero. Nero has been using his angry, violent side to create the persona of “the Beast” as a threat to keep Meg in line. He emotionally manipulates her in every way. Since his anger is the consequence, I gather that Meg has had to be very very careful of everything she does or says. She doesn’t know what kind of reaction she’s going to get, so it’s safer to not say anything at all. I’m hardly an expert on child abuse, but I’ve seen this quite a bit. When kids deal with trauma they tend to push it down to cope. Also, this is kind of a side note, but I doubt Meg got much of a formal education. I’m sure she knows the basics, but I can’t see Nero enrolling her in public school. This could be another reason why she doesn’t seem to have the strongest vocabulary.

The thing is, the silence on Meg’s part doesn’t seem like a natural aspect of her character. I think if she had been raised properly, she would be a little more like Nico in the beginning of the Titan’s Curse. I also think this is why she’s hard to write. Who she is and who she ought to be clash more often than not. Given her wild, colorful nature, you’d think she would be happy and talkative, but she’s not.

In terms of character development in the last two books, I would like to see Meg deal with her past and learn to open up more. I honestly think Reyna may play a role in this. I’d love it if Reyna’s past gave Meg the strength to deal with her own. I feel like in terms of character development there is only so much we can get with a twelve year old. I think she’ll be mostly healed at the end, but her true “happy ending” will be more foreshadowing. Emotional abuse is something that sticks with you to adulthood and I think Meg’s story would still have a ways to go. I do think that if Meg gets the chance to properly heal and just be a kid, then she will become more talkative. I think it’s a natural characteristic for her; she just has to get past the trauma and anxiety. She might always be withdrawn when it comes to the trauma of her childhood, but I think given the chance she might become quite chatty about things she’s passionate about/

In terms of plot, more than anything I don’t want Meg to fade into being a side-kick. I want her to play an integral role in bringing down the Triumvirate. I would love to see her become immortal as many others have speculated. Not sure if that will happen or not. It’s a bold move, but Rick Riordan has been making quite a few bold moves this series. A few other things I want but will probably never see:

-Meg moves back to her home in Palm Springs where the dryads adopt her and love her unconditionally.

-She still goes to camp in the summer, where Apollo takes over as Camp Director and teachers her archery. (She’s terrible and shoots a dryad in the butt to Apollo’s eternal amusement)

-Apollo teaches her how to drive and has Thalia Grace flashbacks when she crashes the sun chariot. After that, they just use a normal car. She immediately runs over her own mailbox and develops road rage on the streets of Palm Springs. (Apollo isn’t sure whether to laugh or cry- a common reaction when dealing with his adopted little sister.)

-Meg hates reading for school, but enjoys it for fun on her own terms.

-She still has hard days and bad dreams, but somewhere in her twenties she finds that they don’t affect her they way they used to.

-Meg McCaffrey has a nice life surrounded by people who love her unconditionally.

#trials of apollo #meg mccaffrey #toa #apollo

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taz-writes · 6 years

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Chapter 1: The Beginning

Taz? Actually posting a finished first chapter? It’s more likely than you’d think! The Feilan series is still in production hell, but I’ve plugged through enough of the new!book 1 to feel confident sharing. I hope y’all enjoy awkward ADHD hijinks and fantasy politics!

Disclaimer: This may be a triple rewrite, but I’ve made many changes to the plot, and I haven’t edited this selection for anything but content and story coherency. It might have some wonky bits. Please forgive me. :)

My favorite part of the Tsi palace was always the library—it was an endless treasure trove of ancient knowledge and secrets, what’s not to love? When I was little, I’d spend hours in there, roaming through towering stacks of books and skipping between the columns of rainbow light that crept in through the stained-glass windows. No matter how chaotic the rest of the building was, being the center of the capitol of one of the largest tribes in Feilan and all, the library was always beautifully serene.

Unfortunately, the serenity evaporated when I sprinted straight through the grand double doors at full tilt, skidding to a dusty halt just past the attendant’s desk. It was beautiful, incredible, until my foot went flying out from under me. I slammed butt-first into the fancy Cydre rug, slid, and plowed directly into the legs of the library attendant.

“Sayara?!” he exclaimed, catching himself on the corner of the desk as I dragged myself onto my feet and wheezed.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, I—”

“Good. All according to plan,” I gasped, clutching at a stitch in my side. “Nobody knows I’m here. And say hi to your brother for me!!” He rolled his eyes and straightened his jacket.

“Try not to knock over any students today.”

“Good chat, gotta go!!” I brushed library dust off of my scuffed-up breeches, before making a mad dash into the stacks.

“Sayara! I mean it, young lady, get back here!!” My governess’s strident voice rang through the atrium, and I sped up, holding back peals of lunatic laughter and jumping onto the nearest ladder.

The ceilings in here were high, but not quite high enough for proper flight, probably to discourage people like me from practicing their barrel rolls through the stacks. Once I reached the top of the ladder, I scrambled on top of the nearest shelf, but then I was stuck. I’d have to wait for one of the drifter cases to float by, or just crawl. I could see the governess now—Lady Brennadine loved manners, until it was time to chase me through the palace, at which point she abandoned them completely in favor of clenched fists and grumbling.

I hesitated. I could jump, but I was too much of a klutz to land well. If I ran, I’d hit my head and fall, and then I’d crash into the academy students and I really didn’t want to hurt anybody. I was more agile than Brennadine, probably, since I was younger and smaller and I worked out sometimes instead of sitting around being mean to children, and I didn’t want to get in trouble but I could keep going, but…well, she was up the ladder.

“Down. Now.” Brennadine snapped her fingers, and I tried to crawl away along the top of the shelf, but my shoelace got snagged on a corner. I didn’t feel the resistance until I’d already stumbled and yanked myself over the side of the shelf.

I yelped, scrabbling at the books to catch myself, and knocked an entire row of encyclopedias away with me.

Brennadine’s hand came out of nowhere, and I grabbed on for dear life, and then everything stopped around me in the grip of her skilled telekinesis.

“How many times have we talked about this, again?” she reprimanded, clearly short of breath. I would’ve shrugged, but I was too busy clinging to her unbelievably sweaty arm. “We—do not—climb—on top of the stacks.”

“Sorry,” I mumbled, swinging my legs towards the shelf. I missed, kicking over more books, but there was a solid surface to land on when I swung back.

“She saw you enter,” the library attendant said, plucking a floating book out of the air and settling it back into place. “Oh, and Daevin says thanks. I hope you weren’t helping him cheat again.”

“It’s not cheating, it’s entrepreneurial studying.” I climbed down to ground level, firmly avoiding eye contact with Brennadine as she reassembled the library in a mist of teal-green telekinesis. She wouldn’t look at me, either.

If she wasn’t looking at me, then I had an opportunity, and I definitely wanted to get out of whatever stupid thing she wanted to waste my day off on. I took a few slow steps backwards, testing for a reaction. Nobody moved, so I backed away further. When I hit the next shelf, I broke into a run.

A stray book swung into the backs of my knees, tripping me. “Don’t,” Brennadine growled, replacing the book with a flick of her wrist. The library assistant had taken over the task of sorting through everything I’d knocked over. I laughed nervously.

“Sorry, but I think I need to study for that geometry test yesterday, since you told me to, so I’ll just—”

“Sayara.” Brennadine laid a hand on my shoulder, and I grimaced. “You need to behave with more grace.”

“I’ve got grace!”

“Is that so?” Brennadine raised her eyebrows, throwing a glance back towards the wreckage of the bookshelves.

“Well, unlike you, at least I wore pants today.”

“What? I’m wearing—SAYARA!!” Brennadine let go of me for an instant, checking her trousers, and I made a break for the exit. The doors slammed shut in front of me.

“Quiet in the library,” the attendant remarked from the stacks.

“Whatever you think I did, I didn’t!” I leaned up against the doors, swallowing reflexive, manic laughter. Brennadine pinched the bridge of her nose, visibly exhausted.

“This isn’t an accusation,” she said wearily. “This has nothing to do with whatever half-baked scheme you’ve worked out with the kitchen maids’ children.”

“Do you have a problem with the maids’ kids?” I asked. “Because they’re fun. More fun than anyone Hope talks to…”

“Your sister is making social connections for the sake of her future career and kingdom. You should try it.”

I cleared my throat. “What do you want? It’s my day off, I don’t have any tutoring today.”

“Your father wants you to accompany him this afternoon,” Brennadine said, grimacing and preening her fingernails.

“Isn’t he busy?”

“Yes, Sayara, and he’s decided at far too late a moment that he wants you to accompany himself and your sister. Really, something so spur-of-the-moment—”

“What? Accompany him for what?”

“We’re disturbing the library,” Brennadine huffed, grabbing me by the arm and pulling me out into the corridor. “Sayara. Today is Kyvesse 14.”

“…Yes?”

“Sayara, have you been neglecting your politics lessons?”

“Why do you only use my name when you’re lecturing me?”

“You should know what’s going on this afternoon.”

“Um….” I was drawing a total blank. “There’s a…thing?” Brennadine stopped in her tracks, and I walked into her by accident, stumbling. “What?”

Brennadine didn’t answer. Instead, she leaned heavily against the wall, her head thumping against the wallpaper.

“There’s a thing. A thing.”

“Well, there is,” I confirmed, wracking my brains for any memory of whatever had Brennadine so worked up. She sucked in a long, nasal breath, and then exploded.

“The Convention of Tribes!! Today is the Convention of Tribes, and your father, the Tsi King, is extending you a spur-of-the-moment invitation! A thing, this is only the most important national political event of the year—no one would normally dream of bringing their children of questionable origins along, but you’re going to be an exception.”

“Wait, you want me to come to the Convention??” I blurted out, a little too loud. “But that’s…”

“Ridiculously last-minute and ill-advised and going to threaten the fabric of the entire situation! Yes!”

“…I was going to say soon. Doesn’t it always start at noon?” I didn’t know exactly what time it was, but it sure wasn’t early, and the site of the Convention was a few hours away.

“I’ve been chasing you through the castle for two hours!” Brennadine exclaimed.

“I’ve only been running for a few minutes, though.”

“I want you dressed in your best suit and ready to leave in twenty minutes. Go.”

“But that’s barely any time at all!”

“You would’ve had more, if you’d listened to me instead of running off on a grand chase through the castle for over an hour,” Brennadine snapped. “Go.”

I dashed away before Brennadine could get meaner.

The Convention of Tribes? For once, Brennadine was right about something. I wasn’t prepared to attend the Convention. It was a choreographed political dance, tangled alliances and tempers and cultural exchange mixing into a treacherous mess of scheming. You couldn’t just prepare for that in twenty minutes!

Twenty minutes! I almost started muttering out loud as I dashed through the palace halls, reviewing my situation over and over in my head. This was a big freaking deal. I had to be on top of my game, I had to make the best impression—this could be the start of a career. Forget the top of my game, I’d have to be on top of the whole world...

Halfway up the stairs to my room, that same loose shoelace from earlier snagged on something, and I went tumbling down hard. I grabbed for something to stop my fall and managed to seize a corner of a tapestry, but it collapsed instead of helping. I flailed for freedom and the whole thing rolled up around me like a cocoon of stupidity.

Great. So much for being on time. I rolled to a stop somehow, probably back where I’d started, and began to detach myself. Stupid tapestries, stupid shoelace, stupid time limits... Something shiny glittered, a single edge peeking out from beneath the fabric. I snatched it, stuffed it into my pocket, and headed back up the stairs.

I was going to the Convention of Tribes. Finally, my dad thought I was important enough to go to the Convention of Tribes. It was a really big deal—the only major political event on a national scale where heirs and protégés of the rulers were invited and expected to attend alongside the tribes’ leaders, the big meetup where the Queen and tribes negotiated federal laws, and one of the only times when the Queen of Feilan directly addressed her nobles.

I could use this. Nobody ever took me seriously—I wasn’t invited to the Convention, I never got to sit in on Council meetings, I never had the chance to do anything important. This could be the change that made the difference.

I ricocheted into my bedroom and flung my casual vest and worn-out shirt into the corner, then ruffled through the closet for something resembling formalwear. I only owned one formal jacket that wasn’t absolutely miserable in the summer heat, so that’d be my best option here, but my only nice shirt was crumpled in a ball under my bed somewhere. I had a green one in the closet that I’d stolen from Hope at some point, that’d have to do. I was in such a hurry to get my fancy breeches onto my body that I put them on backwards three times in a row.

I ran for the door, but then hesitated. Something was missing. I pulled my school breeches out of the growing laundry pile and emptied the pockets onto my bed. A ton of shiny rocks and acorns tumbled out, alongside something else—the sparkly thing I’d spotted on my way upstairs.

It turned out to be a rounded golden brooch, about the length of my thumb. It was inlaid with a collage of deep blue stones forming the shape of a four-pointed star, and it looked really familiar, though I couldn’t figure out why off the top of my head. I could’ve sworn I’d seen it somewhere before...

Time! I was on a time limit! I shoved the brooch into the pocket of my fancy breeches, along with a couple particularly nice rocks and a length of twine. You could never go wrong with a bit of string in your pocket, I loved having string in my pocket, it had so much creative potential.

Jewelry! Jewelry was a thing that people wore at formal occasions. I hesitated, bouncing on my toes, before snatching up a few gold sparkly things and jamming them into my other pocket. I could put jewelry on in the ship, it’d be a couple hours’ ride to the capitol at Eth Zantaara anyways.

By the time I scrambled back downstairs, armed with a notebook for observations and as much information about foreign royalty as I could remember off the top of my head, Brennadine and my sister were both waiting at the stairwell. I could practically see the timer ticking in Brennadine’s eyes.

“You forgot your circlet,” Hope said immediately. “And you’re late.” I fumbled through my pockets, praying that the golden circle of chain had been in the fistful of stuff I found in my jewelry box. It was, and I detangled it as best I could from a few necklaces and jammed it unevenly onto my head. Hope rolled her eyes. I awkwardly pulled my bangs out from under the band, hoping it’d make my head look less like an egg.

“Nobody told me I was coming,” I said. “I’ve been busy, I was building—”

“Your bangs are a mess—is that my shirt?” Hope asked. She walked over and fiddled with my hair as I protested weakly, the smell of her fancy imported perfume crashing into my nose like salt water.

“It looks better on me,” I said.

“Absolutely not!”

“I think you’re jealous, green’s definitely my color, you’re a pathetic imitator in comparison.” I flicked one of my braids dramatically. Hope grabbed it and flicked it back into my face.

“I want that blouse back when we get home.”

“Boo hoo.”

“Boo hoo,” Hope mocked. “You look like you’ve been pulled sideways on the rack.”

“Well, you look like a taxidermied wildcat.”

“Let’s go, girls,” Brennadine said, sweeping down the hall towards the skyship dock. Hope scanned the rest of my outfit, and I braced for impact.

“Please tell me you don’t have rocks in your pockets on your way to the Convention of Tribes,” she said.

“Throw the rocks away, Sayara. We’ve talked about this,” Brennadine added.

“I do not have rocks in my pockets,” I said. “You’re always accusing me of things, you need to stop accusing me of things.”

Hope didn’t reply. Hope raised magic, the stupid cheating cheater, and levitated my entire pocket inside out.

“Hey!” I snatched for my things, but Hope was faster.

“What is this, did you steal this from the tailor?” Hope asked, levitating my coil of twine into her hand. She made a face. “Or did it come from a shipwright?”

“Give it back!”

“You can’t bring string to the Convention of Tribes!”

“Why not? It was going to stay in my pocket, it could be useful,” I said. Hope rolled her eyes, and I made another grab for my things. This time, I managed to catch most of my rocks, plus the brooch. I stuffed the rocks back into my pockets. The brooch remained out. I knew I’d seen it somewhere before, I had to have seen it somewhere before.

I mulled it over as we boarded the royal yacht, and Hope finally returned my twine after Brennadine gave her the eye.

Hope never liked me. We got along all right, most of the time, but there’s always been a weird tension between us—though Dad’s never said it so bluntly, everyone in the palace knows that Hope and I are only half sisters. I don’t know who my mother was, and if Dad does, he hasn’t told me. He legitimized me as a member of the Tsi royal family a couple years ago, so legally I’m royal, but that doesn’t mean anyone likes me.

If I didn’t know better, I’d think Hope saw me as a threat. That was her business and all, and I wasn’t about to waste time and energy caring, but I wished she could be a little more subtle sometimes.

Brennadine was talking about politics. Hope nodded along, commenting on every single perfect talking point, making all the polite conversation. I left her to it—she liked to act like I was stupid, but I knew what was going on, it wasn’t like I didn’t pay attention. I just... paid attention selectively. Involuntarily selectively. It didn’t matter.

This year’s Convention of Tribes was a stand-out for a few different reasons, mostly involving the Irkatzi, our southern neighbor tribe. Out of Feilan’s twelve formally-recognized principalities, the Irkatzi were the most persistently outspoken. They were notorious for picking big melodramatic fights with Feilan’s ruling del Aphir family, which would eventually be resolved with some tax shifts and truces, and then ten years later they’d be back to the old song. Dad alternated between griping about them and calling them great entertainment.

“Excellent, you’re all here!” The door to the skyship’s cabin swung open, and Hope’s eyes lit up.

“Dad! I was wondering when you’d arrive, I thought that with Sayara’s delay you would have beat us to the ship!” Hope curtsied, and then ran forward to hug our father, who hugged back with his fair share of amusement. I waved awkwardly.

Tsi King Doriel wasn’t the kind of man most people would picture when they thought of a king. He was on the shorter side, with worn-looking hands and a very square chin and light hair that always looked like it needed a trim. He was built stocky, more like me than Hope, and he dressed plainly. The heavy sapphire-studded crown on his head was the only real evidence of his station, along with the obvious fine make of his clothing.

“I’m afraid my preliminary meeting with the Council ran late,” he said, grimacing mildly. “Governor Heiden is still pushing his bank bill. He seemed delighted with the idea of humiliating me at the Convention by holding me late, remind me to say something to his constituents about that. Maybe they’ll solve the problem for me.”

“We’ve been discussing the issues on the table, but Sayara hasn’t paid much attention,” Brennadine said. “She was quite determined to avoid me.”

“Sorry for the late notice about that, by the way,” Dad said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d be ready for an event like this.”

“Why wouldn’t I be ready?”

“We all remember what happened when you sat in on a Council meeting,” Brennadine pointed out. I wilted a little.

“It was just that one time! It got really loud, and everyone was yelling, and I couldn’t track what was happening...”

“Well, you’ve proven yourself competent as far as I’m concerned,” Dad said. The little part of me that was dying inside perked up a little.

“Good!”

“And you’ve made excellent marks in your tutoring. Brennadine tells me you’ve picked up your history lessons very quickly, that’s a good sign.”

“I like history,” I said.

“If only you shared the same passion for things which happened in the last twenty years,” Brennadine muttered.

“You’re familiar with the issues on the table at this Convention, correct?” Dad asked as the yacht took off.

“Yeah!”

“What does the Queen want?”

“The Queen hasn’t requested anything personally, but her advisors are pressuring us to cut grounded roads through the Deeps,” I said. “It’s part of an infrastructure plan. They want safe landed highways through Tsi, Javrier, and Irkatzi territories, and they want them policed and open. They also want free access to the River Safir for Rinali merchants.”

“And our stance on this is?”

“They’re idiots who’ve never been in the woods before, and they should stick to the skyways until they’re willing to actually pay for a road themselves.” Dad grimaced.

“You’re... not wrong, but please don’t phrase it like that.”

“She always phrases things like that,” Hope said.

“Okay, fine,” I adjusted. “Landed highways are expensive and difficult to maintain, we have better priorities for the Tsi budget than wasting money on trade routes our natives won’t use, and it’s more efficient for traders in Tsi territory to use the sky roads because they’re protected from the Deeps’ wildlife and generally kept up well. Policing those roads alone would cost us triple to four times the current price tag of our infrastructure, because the Deeps are treacherous and full of extremely dangerous creatures. We know the Rinali court won’t pay for the highways to be installed themselves, either, they’ll place the burden on the Tsi, and we don’t want to do that. I know how to talk fancy,” I said.

“I wish you’d do so more often,” Brennadine sighed.

“Continuing on,” Dad said. “What are the Irkatzi upset about this time?”

“This time,” I echoed, snickering. Dad cleared his throat. “Right. Um, the Rinali court... did... something? Um, I remember last year they were upset about tariffs on fruit, but we were mad about that too so it was okay. This year it’s something about currency, right? The Rinali court is aggravated because some groups in the south of the territory are printing their own Irkatzi currency and the Crown Princess isn’t stopping them.”

“Among other things,” Dad said. “There’s also the issue of the Rinali court itself.”

“Oh, right, right.”

“I believe the Crown Princess Lilac intends to address the Queen directly about it.”

“Does she really?” Hope asked.

“I can’t say for certain, but she’s been sending very aggressive signals to myself and the other tribal leadership. If nothing else, she’d certainly like to. Historically these have been empty threats, her Highness has loathed the Chief Advisor since we were teenagers, but her comments were very... specific, this time around.” He cleared his throat. “Not that I would gossip about my fellow nobility.”

“Oh dear,” Hope said.

“Is that allowed?”

“What, my peer sending me angry letters about the national government? Not by technicality, but she is a Ravenhart, after all... and she lives up to her family name far more than Wisteria did before her,” Dad said. “No one on Eth Zantaara would have the nerve to stop her. The more established noble families tend to get away with much more than we ever could.”

I drifted away from the subject of conversation as Hope peppered Dad with questions about the latest Irkatzi drama, pressing my face against the nearest porthole window and watching the land fly by beneath us.

We were out of Tsi territory by now, the heavy woods I was familiar with giving way to open farmland, orchards, and low glades of trees. The Rinali heartland was rich and fertile, more so than almost anywhere else on the continent, but things didn’t grow as big here as they did back home. The tops of the trees petered out hundreds of feet beneath our ship, stunted to what everyone else insisted was normal size by the lack of the Deeps’ magical atmosphere. Most of them barely reached twice the height of the grounded farmhouses scattered here and there.

The current capitol of Feilan, Eth Zantaara, was named for the huge and anomalous mountain the Queen’s castle sat upon. It was a recent creation, from only about ten years ago, so the city surrounding it was small and in various states of construction. Big noble mansions peppered the mountainside, sporting colorful flags and banners, and a chaotic cluster of homes and businesses crept out of the plains towards the mountain’s base. You could sort of see where the Queen’s architects had tried to enforce grid structure, but everything had been built so fast and aggressively that it hadn’t stuck in the slightest. Wide cobblestone roads led out of the area in a few different directions, fading off into the farmland that still surrounded the city.

“You should have seen Lanorium back in the day,” Brennadine sighed, peering out her own window. “It puts this place to shame.”

“Is that a tent?” Dad asked, squinting.

“She wouldn’t,” Hope said.

“I think she did,” I confirmed, gut sinking when I saw it. There was a huge sheet of white fabric propped up on the palace lawn for shade, and as we swept closer I saw dozens of people bustling in and out of it. The Queen had, apparently, decided that the Convention of Tribes—the most important political event of the YEAR—was going to be held in a tent outside. In post-Nafiesse peak-of-midsummer weather, no less, and Rinali territory was hot!

“Lilac’s going to have a cow,” Dad muttered. “Four willing we won’t have to restrain her.” There were so many colors here—every hue of the rainbow, painted on skyships, fluttering from flags, on the clothing of the dignitaries flitting to and fro. It was almost more than my eyes could handle.

“You remember the etiquette?” Brennadine asked me.

“Be polite, smile, shake everyone’s hand, don’t fight anyone who calls me bad names in public—”

“At all!” Brennadine interrupted.

“In public,” I emphasized. “And leave the room to go back to the parlor or the powder room if my brain starts screaming like last time. Except there’s not a parlor here, and it’s a tent, so I have no clue where they expect people to poop.”

“Language!” Brennadine said.

“What? What other word am I supposed to use? I don’t know where they expect people to squeeze the digested filth from their—”

“Wellbred young adults don’t talk about excrement,” Brennadine said. Hope pinched the bridge of her nose and shook her head. I shoved my hands in my pockets.

We entered the tent as a group, after determining that nobody was announcing anyone, and the Rinali were being extremely lax with their etiquette this year. A pair of royal guards in dress uniform nodded us through the entrance without further fanfare.

Inside, the tent was divided into multiple rooms with an assortment of hanging sheets. It wasn’t bad-looking, actually, but it was far from the ballrooms and judge chambers that the Convention was traditionally held in. The atmosphere was more like a solstice party than a political event. There were tables full of food in the back, surrounded by enchanted arrangements of flowers and jewels, and most of the adults were clustered together making small talk.

“Oh, all three Ravenharts are here,” Hope pointed out, nudging me and gesturing towards a group of teenagers in one corner. I recognized the Irkatzi heiress, I’d seen her and her twin sister once before and they stood out from the crowd, but I wasn’t sure what the younger one looked like. I hadn’t actually participated in many political ventures outside of Tsi territory yet.

“Cool...?”

“I haven’t spoken to Violet and Lavender in quite a while, and I want a biscuit. Please don’t have a crisis,” Hope said, before striding off into the crowd without me.

“So you’re Sayara Tyriea?” Someone asked from behind me. I jumped a little, startled, and the stranger giggled. “I heard you might attend this year!”

“Oh, yeah, that’s me. Hello.” I turned around, processed a whole lot of purple, and fixed my eyes on the ground automatically.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that, this is an event for socialization! No one’s using pointless magic here,” the stranger said. I grinned awkwardly and looked back at her face, trying to play off the instinct.

“Sorry,” I said. “Superstitions, um, it’s, um, a pleasure to meet you?” Stupid engrained impulses... Purple eyes meant psychic powers, and psychic powers meant someone who could screw with you the instant you made eye contact and there was nothing you could do about it. Not that most of them would, especially at a diplomatic event, but still. They were also a pretty common trait for the Irkatzi, which I was supposed to remember, but instead I was in the midst of embarrassing myself again.

“Don’t freak out, I’m used to it,” she said. “Pleasure to meet you too! I’m Aelia. Lady Aelia Ravenhart of Karatza,” she corrected after a moment’s pause.

“Lady Sayara Tyriea of the Citadel,” I replied in kind, extending a hand to shake. Aelia took it. She had a surprisingly strong handshake. A few moments later, though, her eyebrows lifted and her mouth made a little ‘o’ of realization.

“Oh, you’re her!” I crossed my arms, and Aelia seemed to realize what she’d said. “Sorry! Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Don’t freak out,” I said. “I’m used to it.” We held eye contact for most of a minute, before Aelia broke down laughing, holding a hand to her face in an attempt to calm down.

“Four, that was obnoxious. I like you!”

“Glad I made a good first impression,” I said.

“Oh, no, you absolutely didn’t, your first impression was so bad,” Aelia said. “The second one, though, that’s when you redeemed yourself.”

“It’s better than nothing!”

Aelia straightened up, and I finally got a chance to take in her appearance. She was—there’s no polite-sounding way to put this—purple. Most Irkatzi are, their blood is purple instead of red, but Aelia was pale enough that the difference was incredibly obvious. Her lips were blue like a drowning person’s, and her slanting eyes were a vivid shade of violet that was hard not to notice.

Also, she was three or four inches taller than me, which made the whole situation rather overwhelming. I hated being short.

“So you’ve never been to a Convention before, right?” Aelia asked.

“Right,” I confirmed. “Isn’t it traditional that heirs don’t go until their seventh evolution? I might still be early.”

“I just turned fourteen two weeks ago, and I’m here,” Aelia said. “You’re fine, but you’ve been missing out on so much drama. I went two years ago and it was better than the zoo.”

“That’s when they agreed on the Queen’s coronation, isn’t it?”

“Yeah. My mother almost threw a table at a few of the regents,” she snickered. “And then she gave us a lecture on the way home about ladylike dignity. Be not cruel, but suffer no obnoxious entitled men in government.” I laughed.

“Suffer no obnoxious entitled women, either, though,” I added.

“Well yeah, but Regent fa Viandre was an absolute cuss-word,” Aelia said.

“Cuss-word?”

“I’ve been told it’s inappropriate to use the kind of language that most accurately describes him,” she said, putting on false airs for a moment. “In the art of intimidation, it’s best to leave most things implied. It’s our mother’s first rule.” She rested her hands over her heart, closing her eyes and dramatically pretending to pray.

“Everything I hear about Crown Princess Lilac only makes me more afraid,” I said. She laughed.

“It’s okay, you haven’t done anything to make her angry. Have you?”

“I hope not,” I said.

“Come on, I have to introduce you to everyone,” Aelia said. “My sisters are talking to Hope, so I don’t want to bother them, Violet’ll have a rage... I think I see Ciron Vekdal over there, he’s an Ajrijl prince, he’s funny. Fatima, she’s the Liarum chief’s daughter, she’s a couple years older than me and thinks she’s better than everyone...” Aelia dragged me on a tour around the room, pointing out all the heirs—with added commentary, of course. I’d seen portraits of most of them, and I certainly knew of them, but I’d never actually spoken to the majority before.

“It’s almost high noon,” I realized after a while. There wasn’t a clock in the tent, because the Rinali had no sense of anything, but I’d noticed the shadows outside shortening and the clusters of people moving closer to the next room over.

“Shoot, you’re right,” Aelia said. “I should meet up with the twins. It was nice meeting you!”

“Nice meeting you too,” I replied as she turned and walked away. I stood up on my tip-toes, trying to find Hope in the crowd, but thankfully she found me first.

“Dad says it’s time to move to the Convention room,” she said. “Pay attention.”

“I was paying attention, I was looking for you,” I said, but she wasn’t listening.

“Come on, let’s go, the Tsi section’s over this way.” Hope pulled me past the tent’s dividing curtains into a larger shaded room, where the various tribal dignitaries had begun to filter into sections. The Convention of Tribes was about to officially begin.

@montagues-existence @theguildedtypewriter @jade-island-lives @librasunwritings @pixiesandwonder are the only people I think I can remember asking me to tag them in things? If you’d like to be added to or removed from my tag list for Feilan excerpts and content, just let me know! :D

#feilan #feilan excerpts #fantasy #i know people tag their excerpts with all kinds of stuff to get them seen but idk how to do that and i'm embarrassed to... oops

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forget-me-knots-behind-our-eyes · 3 years

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I’m putting this here as my brain is refusing to let me move on with my morning until I say shit and my private journal isn’t helping right now.

TW for generally abusive parents, mentions of suicide, and probably more that I just can’t think of right now.

I don’t know my parent’s version of events and I probably will never know, I’ve pretty much decided against talking to either of them ever again. When I was very little (less than 6), we lived in a few little suburbs in Chicago. The last one we lived in was your stereotypical, white picket fence, doctor and lawyer neighborhood, complete with a chandelier house. The first house I remember living in, I had a terrible dream about an “evil cat lady” that tore out my baby brother’s eyes and killed the rest of my family. The dream terrorized me for a full week before I stopped dreaming altogether. The woman looked distinctly like my mother, but I have left that out of every single retelling I have ever had.

My mother was a stay-at-home mom during that time, and she spent a good portion of her time with me showing me how to be booksmart and get A’s in school while also telling me exactly how to care for a baby and cook and clean. This started when I was 3. My first ever F was on a spelling test in first grade and I remember bringing it home and thinking nothing of it, after all, it was just a letter. I remember getting relentlessly spanked and from then on I was required to write my spelling words 10 times each and an extra 10 times for every misspelling. I didn’t find out I had dyslexia until I was in college.

My dad lost his job due to his work cutting his department and on his way out, he shared information with the company that was hiring him, which sparked an entire court case and ended with him being blacklisted in Chicago. I don’t know if this is when he started drinking heavily or if it was before. My mother claims he was drinking excessively long before she met him and my brother has said that my dad’s new girlfriend (T) was told that dad started drinking because he couldn’t deal with my mother.

My mom managed to find a job in NY, working at a nuclear power station and she found my dad a job at the same plant. So we moved north to live near my grandparents so they could watch us during the day while my dad worked. The commute was over an hour one way. This was one of the few times I could not be a mother to my three siblings as grandma was there to do it for me. I do know my dad was drinking heavily at this point and there were a few times I had to stand up for my siblings so they wouldn’t get beaten.

On one occasion, we had taken some photos with a disposable camera. My dad went to have them exposed so we could see the photos. Apparently, some of them were revealing (I think it was a butt). Obviously, we should have known that doing so could have my parents thrown in jail and we deserved to be beaten for that. (sarcasm) I’m not sure about other adults, but when you hear a child crying and saying “no don’t hurt him hurt me instead” the thought should be “wait, that’s fucked up” not “okay, I’ll hurt you both.”

We later moved to a nicer house, closer to our parent’s work. I was told to help out the babysitter as she wouldn’t know what to do and they just needed her there because I couldn’t drive. I was 10. I cooked, I cleaned, I did first aid when the babysitter cut off the tip of her thumb, I did my homework, I looked after my siblings and made sure they stayed out of the way and did their work. Since it was usually just my dad, we could just hide and we’d be fine during his drunk escapades. My mother would come and find us if she didn’t have my dad to scream at.

10 years old and I had the responsibilities of an adult. And then our school decided to tell us about drug use and suicide. I didn’t even think suicide was an option. I knew hurting myself made my brain feel better, physical pain was easier than emotional and I was careful so that no one would ever see or be able to tell. Suicide was an entirely new concept. And fucked up 11 year-old me decided it was a good idea. I tried, I survived, and I was alone. The only reason I am still here is because my baby sister would have been the one to find me and I couldn’t stand the idea of her handling what I was handling. I told my mom about it years later and she told me I was an ungrateful bitch and that she was suicidal too and had picked a corner to crash her car into.

I only have snapshots, most everything prior to college is a complete blank. It is blocked out and I am not sure I want it back.

We moved again. And again. New house same bullshit. I started high school. I was alone most afternoons as I went to a public school and my siblings went to a private Catholic school. My parents, mostly my mother, kept trying to force me to conform with religion. It was something I’d been dealing with my whole life and I had learned to just roll with it and say what they wanted to hear.

One sunday, my mother gets into her head that Jesus was telling her to send her kids to this private Catholic school 45min away that she saw a billboard for. She had promised me I could stay at the same school for all of high school. I was making friends for once. I was doing sports and enjoying it. I wanted to be left the fuck alone. Saturdays were my rest days and Sundays were the days I finished up any leftover homework. I had a paper due. She knew this. She agreed to let me stay home to finish it before we went to church. Afterward, she demanded that I go to the open house with them. That Jesus told her I had to go. There was no other option for me. She said I hadn’t told her anything and she hadn’t promised anything.

I finish High School at the Catholic one. Spend the last 2 years in an abusive relationship then getting shunned by the school because he was one of the popular kids and the friends I had made stopped talking to me because I wasn’t gay. (I’m bi and apparently that didn’t fucking count) My one friend left is my spouse now and I love them to pieces, but I still regret attending that school.

I go to college and the family fucking falls apart. No one knew what to do without me. My dad started going after my siblings more, as did my mom. I came back one summer and said I was going to a party. I was 20 at the time and they said okay, let us know when and where. I told them both. I wrote it on the whiteboard we kept in the kitchen. I reminded them of it every damn day. Day of the party, my mother is out of town and my dad is alone with my siblings. He can’t remember or read the board and interrogates and threatens them. Calls my mom freaking out. Does not text me even once.

A relative I cared for died and I wasn’t told until after the funeral. My brother became suicidal and I didn’t find out until after they institutionalized him. My parents started divorce proceedings and I wasn’t told until they were halfway through it.

I stopped talking to my dad after I finally moved all the way out. I had planned to stop talking to my mom as soon as I had my own phone. But then she started going to therapy and taking her meds. She was doing well, so I stayed in touch. She was acting like a mom for once. She had boasted for years about her hitting us to stay in line and that she really only needed to slap me once for mouthing off. She had complained for years that she never wanted kids.

This past year, she complained more about having kids, and how she was horny and wasn’t fully attracted to the men she was dating. She either didn’t like their mind or didn’t like their body and couldn’t do even a one-night stand if it wasn’t the full package. Well she met Rick a month ago. He’s basically my dad. None of us like him. She’s relapsed into the person she used to be. She got into a fight with my brother and told him that she didn’t care if all of her children left her as long as one person still loved her. She said this in front of my sister who is 15. Who was taken off of her anxiety, depression, and adhd meds because “she didn’t need them” after she forgot to take them for a week and “seemed fine.”

On our vacation a couple of weeks ago, my sister was being a typical 15 year old and my brother was a typical 18 year old and she snapped at my sister. I had told my brother (I have 2 the other is 20 and was the one having the fight) and he told my mom that the reason I had told her to calm down was that she snapped at her and was being a bitch about normal 15 year old behavior. My mother then turned to my sister, who clearly wanted to run away and said “I didn’t snap at you. Right? “ and then didn’t listen when she said kinda.

My brother was kicked out of the house at the end of the night. She texted my dad saying she was concerned for her safety and had thought about calling the cops. She wouldn’t let him pick up his stuff unless she was there. He had to send my sister. She now won’t let my sister get her stuff unless she goes alone. My dad, who was always a violent drunk, is the safer option right now.

I trust my brother and he says dad ha sobered up and is doing better. The depiction my brother paints of him is the exact opposite of what my mother says he’s been doing. Apparently my dad is being a dad for once. He apparently wanted to reach out and apologize to me, but didn’t because my brothers told him I was still pissed.

My mother, on the other hand, has left guilt-trippy messages, and tried to message me in ways to get me to respond to her. (Voicemail : Hey just wanted to see how you were doing since I haven’t heard form you in a while and wanted to make sure you were okay. (She had previously said that she wasn’t going to talk to me until I apologized for telling her to calm down after she snapped at my sister) Apparently I have been put on the “do not talk to” list. Don’t know how I got there. If you’re not answering I guess that’s true. (She called me on my busiest night, I wouldn’t have answered anyway) I love you.) A snapchat of “Hey are you okay?” and finally a text of “Do you want me to mail you the dollhouse” (Which was made by my dead Popo).

I’ve decided not responding is better for my mental health since nothing I say will change the outcome of this scenario or undo the damage that she had done. Talking to her will only make it worse. I’m just a bit disappointed that it came to this. But, she always said she never wanted kids. Now she doesn’t.

#rin rambles #venting #just needed to get this out

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thesecretheadteacher · 4 years

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Bullying

I make no apology for the length of this entry as the topic of bullying is a very emotive one. Where it occurs, it can be such a damaging and destructive set of actions, leaving the victims upset, hurt or, in a few cases, contemplating or going through with attempts at suicide. It is probably one of the biggest fears parents have for their child whilst at school and also something they feel unable to help with.

The scale of bullying: Once again, for those of us who were raised in the 70s and 80s, we are likely to have witnessed or experienced bullying on an industrial scale. These were the days before there was any awareness or acceptance of difference: the closest anyone got to neurodiversity back then would be if it was the name of a new wave pop group. Anyone with autism, ADHD or any other, fairly common, condition, was just seen as a ‘weirdo’, anyone who was slightly effeminate, or merely kind was ‘gay’ and anyone whose skin colour was darker than you would expect from a 2 week holiday in Skegness, was a N word or the Asian P word. These were just the verbal bullying, of course there was also the physical bullying, I think I was lucky to get through these years with both testicles intact, as they were treated like mosquitos – someone always looking to swat, flick, kick, stamp, punch or knee them, and the resulting excruciating pain provided the watching group with the highest form of hilarity. I guess it was probably different for girls. Fortunately, such sustained and ongoing bullying is very rare and, though parents should be vigilant, in the vast majority of cases, it is something that can be dealt with very easily and effectively by the school.

What is Bullying?: The key starting point for tackling bullying is knowing what bullying is. Most parents will be using their own experiences, possibly from school, but more likely form the media: whether that was watching Gripper Stebson with his 1950s teddy boy style, grabbing various Grange Hill characters by the throat as part of his dinner money pyramid scheme, through to Nelson Muntz giving Bart a wedgie on the Simpsons. Or maybe from stories or videos, some truly horrific, of young people being set upon and beaten up by groups of kids. None of these, however, help to clarify what bullying is.

There is no legal definition of bullying in the UK but, in a school context most would view it as ‘repeated behaviour which is intended to hurt someone either emotionally or physically, and is often aimed at certain people because of their race, religion, gender or sexual orientation or any other aspect such as appearance or disability.’

As well as knowing what it is, it is important to know what it isn’t, because there are many things that rather than having a negative impact upon our children, are actually valuable and important learning episodes (I can hear myself morphing into Oprah here):

- Falling out with each other – this happens and is an important part of their development into adulthood to deal with conflict with others. Unfortunately, far too many parents see this as bullying because their child might be upset as a result of it.

- Day to day rough and tumble – this particularly applies to boys as they grow up. There is some good science around the importance of ‘horseplay’ (Fry, D. P. (2005). Rough and tumble social play in humans / Pellis, S. M., & Pellis, V. C. (2012). Rough-and-tumble play: Training and using the social brain). Think of it like young animals that jump and climb and wrestle and fight. Having done thousands of break and lunch duties, I am very familiar with what is horse play and what is a bit more serious – the basic guide being are they all having fun, it is very easy to see if someone isn’t or if one individual is being targeted – that is where we step in.

- A one-off omission: for example not being invited to something outside of school.

- Not liking someone: we cannot make pupils like each other. This is another important learning point to help in growing up. I am sure we all have people in our own lives that we don’t like, but through our adolescent development, we have learned how to deal with that.

- Arguments: these happen all the time, as anyone who has been married will testify.

- A single act of telling a joke about someone. We have all been the butt of a joke at some point - usually funny for others, less so for us.

Of course if any of these things become repeated or several of them happen towards the same child, then yes this would then constitute bullying.

How to deal with bullying: this is what most parents want to know and is the point at which some parents go horribly wrong. So here is my step by step guide:

1. The most important thing is that the child tells someone. Staff in school are usually excellent at spotting things going on – I have lost count of the number of times I have been on duty and, amidst the mass of humanity that makes up lunch time, spotted a child looking a bit down, on their own or upset.

2. Watch out for changes in your child: mood swings, sudden aggression, withdrawal from family life (though take care as these are also the default setting for most teenagers.)

3. If your child can’t talk about it, get them to write it down.

4. If it involves social media, which increasingly it does, switch it off – delete the apps and don’t engage.

5. NOW CONTACT THE SCHOOL. I have put this in caps because this is the most important thing. Having discovered you think your child is being bullied, you will be feeling angry, shocked, protective, aggressive and maybe even feel you have failed your child. This heady concoction of feelings is not a good place from which to start to address the issue.

6. Work with the school: the vast majority of schools deal with these things on an almost daily basis. They know the other children, they see the interactions, they know the parents of the other child or children. They care deeply about your child and the other children and they will do what they feel is best.

7. If things don’t get any better, then escalate the matter within the school – schools are hierarchical and above a form tutor is a head of year, above them a member of the Senior Leadership Team and above them the headteacher.

How not to deal with bullying: the steps above should lead to the matter being resolved and your child returning to their usual happy, or at least apathetic, experience of school. However, I have had plenty of first-hand experience of parents who decide to handle the matter differently – none of these led to a better outcome than following my advice, and some led to far more serious outcomes for them.

- Don’t start the discussion off by being abusive or threatening the school for ‘failing your child’. Venting your anger on a poor receptionist won’t make the wheels move faster.

- Don’t start at the top. I have had many examples of parents contacting me directly, as headteacher, to deal with a falling out between two pupils. Though I have decades of pastoral experience, there are far more appropriate people to look into the matter. It isn’t that I don’t care, but the school and education system wouldn’t really be getting its money’s worth out of me if I spend 6 hours a day in ‘circle time’ with Year 7 girls who have fallen out.

- Don’t go above the top. On a number of occasions I have had parents decide that, rather than inform the school, they think the matter would be resolved quicker by going above the school to the Local Authority, Ofsted, The Diocese, local MP, Parish Priest, the press, the Pope or anyone else they could think of. Needless to say, none of these people are really in a good position to unravel the reasoning behind why Sally didn’t invite your Bethany to Cineworld last week.

- Don’t encourage your child to take matters into their own hands. “I’m sorry Sir but I have told him, if anyone says anything to you, you just punch them” or “You can’t tell me that you wouldn’t tell your son to hit them if they say anything.” Well-meaning as this advice from some parents is, it isn’t really great preparation for the world of work. For that day when little Billy grows up, gets his job in middle management and has a falling out with Steve from accounts and decides a good right hook might progress things. So unless you have grand plans for your child to move into the gangland underworld, it really isn’t good advice.

- Don’t take matters into your own hands with the parents. Often when parents raise a concern about another child bullying their own child, they will want to meet with the other parents. Nearly all schools will avoid doing this, not because we are being obstructive, but because a) the parents (usually) aren’t the people who have fallen out and b) both sets of parents will have only heard their own child’s version of events and will be overly protective. It doesn’t work. Likewise contacting the other parents by text, social media or be going round to the house – all of these are like trying to put a fire out armed with aerosols and petrol. I have witnessed parents going for each other outside the school gate, or picked up the pieces afterwards when one or more parents have been charged with assault.

- Don’t take matters into your own hands with the child. No matter what you have been told about the other child, they are still that, a child. I have known many occasions where a parent has approached a child directly to ‘warn them off’ like some sort of mafia enforcer. Now I don’t know how they have thought it would play out in real life, but the reality is usually that the child is with some friends, feels like they can’t lose face and so rather than say “Yes of course Mrs T, it was wring of me to behave like that towards your little Mickey, it won’t happen again, take care.” It ends up more “Who are you talking to? Get away you Pedo. I didn’t do anything. F*&k Off, I am going to get my dad on to you.” To be fair this approach does often end the initial bullying and is replaced by family warfare, police action and lawyer involvement.

Don’t arrange a ‘settler’. This is where both sets of parents arrange for the children to meet up and have a settler (a fight to resolve things). For many of you reading this, the very thought would be horrific, but for some of the communities I have worked in, this is the ‘honourable’ way to do things. I have known parents set up times / places for the fight, have rules around not jumping in and even drive their children to the event, like an evening at a Justin Bieber concert. This is not just for boys, I have known it happen with girls too and heard a child describe how her dad had watched her get knocked all over the place then afterwards suggest that the matter was no closed.

#bullying education self-help humour

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homoregalis · 7 years

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Ryder Appreciation! Q & A

So, I just finished for the semester, and it’s time to show some freaking Mass Effect love! I know I still have the 30 day challenge I started TWO FREAKING YEARS ago, and I really want to get to that, but I keep having a combination of life, computer crashes, and the like getting in the way. So, for the time, I’m going to answer some ME:A questions about my Ryder! Dunno where these came from, but I’ma answer all of them!

Ryder Character Questions:

1. Your favourite quote

- “I am Pathfinder. Rah bah bah bah!” in response to the Kett guy on Eos getting all lippy on the radio

2. Share a screenshot of your Ryder:

3. Full Name?

- Elizabeth Miriam Ryder

4. Origin/Meaning of the name

- Nothing particularly. Elizabeth and Miriam are both generic abrahamic names

5. How did you come up with the name and why did you chose it?

- Elizabeth is a name that works for anyone, to me at least. It can be high class or working class, royalty or the great unwashed masses, doesn’t matter, it sounds right. Miriam as a middle name was an aesthetic choice, as most last names like Ryder, that are so short, feel like they flow better off of a middle name to me.

6. Did Ellen or Alec chose the name for your Ryder? Or did your Ryder chose the name?

- Ellen. Alec named Scott. Ellen’s side of the family is of European-Canadian extraction, where as Alec is Asian-American having been born and raised on the continental side of the Sierra Nevadas, right in their foothills.

7. What pronouns does your Ryder use?

- Elizabeth has never cared much, but uses traditionally feminine pronouns.

8. Gender identity

- Female, although she doesn’t ascribe any particular meaning to that. She does what she wants, and by definition it’s feminine because she’s female, as far as she’s concerned.

9. Sexuality

- Bisexual, with a preference for female partners.

10. Date and Place of Birth

- 21st April, 2161 in Hong Kong.

11. Manner of Birth (Was Alec there? How long did it take? Were there any complications?)

- Unsurprisingly, Alec was off doing something or other and generally being a distant, if loving, individual. The births were reasonably easy, although Scott required careful rotation to stop him getting tangled in his umbilical

12. First Words?

- “No!” Turns out Ryder developed a distaste for celery at an early age, and wasn’t afraid to tell anyone about it.

13. Is your Ryder the older or younger sibling?

- (In line with ME:A canon) Older, by a few minutes. Although if you asked Scott he’d just say they were twins.

14. Does your Ryder have siblings? (CanonTwin and more)

- Just her and her “little” brother Scott.

15. Zodiac Sign?

- Taurus the bull, in the Year of the rooster.

16. Does your Ryder have a catchphrase?

- Only if cursing under your breath counts. That and, well, she’ll mutter “Funtastic” when she gets frustrating news too, I suppose.

17. Dominant Hand? Or is your Ryder ambidextrous?

- She’s fairly capable of a lot of things with both hands, like shooting or using scissors or the like, but is definitely right-hand dominant, and favours her right hand, particularly for fine tasks, like writing..

18. What does their autograph look like?

- “E. Rsquiggle” is probably the best description.

19. Describe your Ryders handwriting:

- A sloppy pseudo-cursive. She links her letters, but isn’t super consistent, and will not infrequently capitalize words in odd places, especially on words that start with “h”.

20. Height

- 5′ 9″, or about 175 cm.

21. Weight

- 170-185 pounds, or about 77-84 Kg

22. Bloodtype

- A-negative, from her mother’s side.

23. Any birthmarks that stand out?

- she has a couple of noticeable moles, one larger on her right hip, and another just above her right butt-cheek. Both feel consistent with the surrounding skin, and both are quite round in shape, looking like little more than spots of brown skin.

24. Hair (Length, Colour, Does your Ryder change it on different occasions? Describe it, share some screenshots or if you’re an artist maybe draw your Ryder with different hairstyles?)

- She tends to wear it relatively short, especially when on some kind of off-world assignment, but does grow it out in her down time, with it always ending up in a pony tail tied at the base of her skull. Elizabeth thinks it’s really pretty when it’s braided while long, but can only wear it braided if someone does it for her. Her hair is a black colour.

25. Eye Colour

- Green-Brown, leaning towards brown.

26. Do they look like their parents? Are there more resemblances with Ellen, Alec or a completely different relative?

- Scott inherited Ellen’s more Caucasian look. Elizabeth takes after her father, with his Asian ancestry clear in her features.

27. Do they like the way they look? Would they change anything about them if they had the chance? What would they change and why?

- Elizabeth is fairly comfortable with her body. She occasionally wishes she was a little taller, and had a slightly more curvaceous back-side, but generally she rocks what she’s got, and is damn happy to do so.

28. Any scars? How did they get them?

- She has the visible remnant of a well-healed scar on the left side of her face, from damage she got in a fire-fight with Batarian raiders, and a small scar on her lower lip from where a particularly feral street cat swatted at her as a girl.

The burn scar in evidence. The lip scar requires much... closer inspection.

29. Somatotype?

- She doesn’t know or care, and neither do I?

30. Do they wear make up? Are they good at it? Do they apply it for routine or because they have fun doing it?

- Elizabeth will wear a light foundation, and lipstick when on a date, but generally avoids make up else-wise. She’ll rock the messy make-up look for a night at the clubs with the girls though. Day to day, she doesn’t care to wear make up.

An atypical night out, no eyeliner in sight.

31. What’s your Ryders diet like? Did they listen to Lexis advice?

- Growing up with a busy mother and an absentee/distant father, the Ryder twins learned to appreciate Hong Kong’s street food, and often found their selves eating to-go from local restaurants, leading to a healthy life-long obsession with Chinese cuisine. Ryder eats plenty of veggies, usually stir-fried just enough to char at the edges, but be crisp and fresh else-wise, by choice. Lexi was preaching to the choir.

32. Favourite food and is it still available in Andromeda?

- She loves Mapo Dofu, and while soybeans and tofu were a few of the first food crops to be planted, the szechuan pepper is pretty far down the list. She also really likes Char Siu Bao, but they’re hard to come by too. Scallion Pancakes though are on the menu, much to her relief.

33. Weird food combinations they like?

- Mayo on her hot dogs.

34. How is their relationship with food? Do they enjoy cooking and eating or do they just see it as necessary for survival?

- Elizabeth loves cooking, and finds it tremendously cathartic. She also tends to stress eat though, and tries to be mindful of that. But she loves food, and all the attendant cultural and social elements that accompany a good meal.

35. Fitness (Any exercises? Yoga? Working out?)

- Kicking Kett ass, and a good general exercise regime. She enjoys boxing, and spends a lot of time with the punching bag, as well as the exercise bike where she can watch old tv shows.

36. Does your Ryder take any medications?

- She has medication for migraines and and inhaler as needed for asthma.

37. Any allergies?

- She has worse than usual seasonal allergies, and reacts roughly to furry animals when she first meets them. She’s also been chock-full of allergy meds since arriving in Andromeda, with her allergies going into over-drive around all these alien lifeforms.

38. Is your Ryder neuroatypical? How do they deal with it? Did the events in Andromeda affect their mental health in any way? Does your Ryder use stimming methods?

- Elizabeth has ADD/ADHD and suffers from dyslexia. She has a tendency to pace, and to play with her hands, such as touching her finger tips to her thumb in sequence repeatedly, when she’s having an off day.

39. Wardrobe (What clothes does your Ryder prefer? Did they take any clothes with personal history with them to Andromeda?)

- Elizabeth is decidedly a t-shirt/tank top and shorts girl, and took a decent selection of nice every-day cloths with her (well, as nice as luggage space for Andromeda allowed) as well as a pair of high-heels, a nice dress for polite company, and a couple of all purpose skirts She’s not a big bra person, although she has a couple for dressing up, with matching bottoms. She generally favours boyshorts. She also has the Andromeda issued wardrobe of socks (knee length in her case), shoes, trousers, long sleeve shirts and jackets, which keep her covered for the elements, and round out her wardrobe.

40. Any Accessoires they always take with them?

- Elizabeth has a 4,000 year old Asari family heirloom ring, given to her by a close Asari colleague when she got into the Andromeda initiative, so that her Asari friend knew that some part of her family had made it to another galaxy. Elizabeth wears it on a length of paracord around her neck at all times.

41. Stuff they always carry with them? (Nail File, Earbuds, Gum etc)

- A Flashlight. As a child, Elizabeth was particularly uncomfortable in the dark, and Ellen got her a a little pocket flash light so she would always have a light with her. Elizabeth kept it up, although these days her flashlight has a crenelated bezel that could crack a Turian’s face plate.

42. Any piercings/tattoos? When and why did they get them?

- Elizabeth used to have three eye-brow piercings above her right eye, but never wears jewelry on assignments, and so hasn’t worn them in years. She also has a mosaic of inter-connected tattoos on her left shoulder and upper arm, part of an eventual sleeve, documenting major firsts, like the first time she left Earth, the first Prothean dig she joined, and most recently, being one of the first humans to leave the milky way, which she got before they left, figuring they’ll either make it, or die trying, and that no-one would know her hubris if they failed.

43. What’s their hygiene like? Do they shower after every mission?

- Ryder showers daily and does all the usual hygiene maintenance, but otherwise doesn’t go the extra mile. If she’s feeling lazy on a weekend, she’ll just stay in and not worry about showering and all that, but other wise, keeps clean enough.

44. Scent?

- Pretty generic. A little musky when she’s been sweating her skin off doing something, and back when she helped secure digs, she’d often smell of that weired burned-metal/steak smell of hard vacuum, or dusty from spending time in the archaeology labs chatting with her fellow nerds. Out in Andromeda, she’s finding it a nightmare to not have a slight smell of stale sweat everywhere she goes with the long hours she’s spending in her envirosuit, often days at a time.

45. Do they use any perfume/cologne?

- Occasionally a light perfume for more formal occasions, usually something lightly floral, but otherwise, she’s a speed-stick and go kinda gal.

46. Voice?

- A light, pleasant contralto, with a tendency to speak a little sing-songy, her words a little lyrical.

47. Accents/Dialects?

- Her English is generally neutral, the result of spending her early life in Hong Kong, and later in Canada and else where. There are clear hints though of the lingering Hong Kong accent with its subtle British notes. Her Cantonese is clearly from Hong Kong though, and her French sounds mostly Parisian, although it’s clear there’s an outside influence, the result of it being her second language (after her joint mother-tongues of English and Cantonese)

48. Impediments?

- Elizabeth suffers from intermittent stuttering, although a life-time of experience with it has made it much less common in her speech, and it only surfaces as much any more when she’s upset or angry.

49. Are they good at singing?

- Her voice is sweet, but mediocre, although she can just about hold a tune. Much more a sing-along voice than an opera voice.

50. Describe their laughter:

- Elizabeth’s laughter is usually loud and full. Outside of that it could be a snigger, a bark, a chortle, a giggle, a snort, or just about anything, although she tends more towards bursts of full-on belly laughter.

51. Languages?

- English, Cantonese, and French.

52. Did they enjoy their time in school? Were they a good student?

- Elizabeth would have hated school if it wasn’t for her brother Scott being there to make it bearable. They’re both quite smart, but Elizabeth never enjoyed the everyday grind, and was less outgoing than Scott, and so didn’t socialize as much. Having her brother there gave her someone to engage with who was smart enough to keep up, helped her socialize a lot more easily, and made school doable for Elizabeth. Grades wise, she did excellently on tests and papers, but often only did just enough on busy work, and so had good, but not stellar, grades.

53. Do they swear a lot?

- Frequently, yes.

54. Temperament:

- Although prone to anger and frustration, Elizabeth takes pains to be professional and rational in her work, and to give people the benefit of the doubt. She rants and raves in private, but with friends and loved ones takes the time to try and be supportive, and to have patience even when something is trying, not always with success. Professionally she channels her tendency towards anger into righteous indignation and a vengeful zeal to achieve in spite of those who cross her, if at all possible achieving at their expense in the process.

55. Is your Ryder religious? Did the events in Andromeda made your Ryder question their faith?

- Elizabeth says she was “born Atheist”, religion never being a major component of her family life, and she herself never seeing the need for a god in a universe where science, day by day, kept peeling back the boundaries of the unknown. Andromeda just emphasized that, with the speed with which the new mysteries were being solved using good, old fashion, mortal science. One of her favorite quotes is “Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?” by Douglas Adams.

56. Their opinion on politics/political party?

- Elizabeth understands and sympathizes with the Earth-first stances of some parties, believing that the Systems alliance is sometimes too eager to seek the approval of the council. At the same time, she believes that Humanity’s place is as a major member of the Galactic political scene, and that growing ties with other races is essential. She particularly supports growing ties with the Turians, who have been at times the worst critic of and best ally of the Human cause in turn. With many younger Turians, and a fair few veterans of the first contact war, seeming to support closer ties with humanity, who they see in many ways as a kindred species, particularly since Humanity attained a council seat for Commander Shepard’s heroic actions during the attack on the Citadel (to Ryder) only a few years ago, she feels that her instinct towards galactic integration being vindicated. She supports the tight interplanetary trade regulation that the Systems Alliance maintains, on the basis that Human industry such as Hahne-Kedar would get crushed by the likes of the Elkoss Combine or Elanus Risk Control if they had to compete in the Earth Market the same as they do interplanetarily. It would be impossible to establish the high-end market segment they have if they weren’t able to found their sales earnings in human space. Her view is to look at the suffering that globalized deregulation caused to people in the 21st century, and use that as a lesson for future trade and economic policy. Ryder is also generally in favor of greater recognition for member races of the Citadel accords in formal decision making processes, although she supports limiting executive functions to the most populace races out of a pragmatic desire to avoid grid-lock.

57. Morality?

- She tends towards idealism with a healthy leavening of cynicism. She believes that sometime the most virtuous act, the act that causes the least suffering to the innocent, and which most rapidly solves a problem, is the use of force. She supports Alliance military action in the Verge, and proportionate response against Batarian forces and anti-slavery raids into Batarian space, as well as the expansion of the fleet to make it clear to Arahot that Humanity can and will crush them if pressed. So, she’s in the “speak softly, and carry a big stick” school of morality. That you should seek idealistic goals, but do so with an eye towards realism and pragmatism.

58. Assuming the Renegade and Paragon alignment still existed in Andromeda, how would your Ryder react? What would your Ryder chose?

- Broadly Paragon, with a dash of Renegade. Likely more Renegade than Shepard in ME1 or ME3, and about as Renegade as ME2, on account of having to deal with a broader range of galactic society, not just its best and brightest.

59. Etiquette:

- Elizabeth tends to be polite and formal with strangers, but is usually quick to ease up on formality after meeting someone, although the manners never quite go away, even when shit-talking her closest friends.

60. Attitude:

- She has little patience for people who are disingenuous, callous, or generally incapable of pulling their head out their ass and showing common courtesy. Outside of that, she’s fairly laid back and polite.

61. Outlook on life (pre and post andromeda)

- Generally positive. She sees Human space, and the council now that they’ve gone through the shock of Saran’s attack, as moving in the right direction, and she sees the broad appeal of the Andromeda Initiative to be enheartening. Since arriving in Andromeda, she’s felt affirmed in her positivity with the general goodness of people, although she’s angry that the shittiest people seem to gravitate at the top.

62. Any vices?

- Plenty ;) rich food, good quality rum, and Merino wool are just some of the more public.

63. Virtues?

- A very strong sense of right and wrong, and a tendency to give people the benfit of the doubt, as long as they aren’t just trying to save their own skin.

64. Do they live after a specific motto/philosophy?

- Not really?

65. Priorities in life and job:

- Surviving in Andromeda, getting a date with Vetra, and settling down somewhere with a view.

66. What motivates your Ryder?

- A hunger for new horizons and a chance to spread life beyond the paltry borders of our little galaxy.

67. Self Confidence?

- Miles of it, although, not with out doubt.

68. Self Control?

- Enough, although she does stress eat, and can like a drink too much.

69. Self Esteem?

- Lots, although she can feel that failures in her mission are her fault, even when they aren’t, and to take responsibility for things she didn’t have control over.

70. What would absolutely crush your Ryders confidence?

- Nothing, short maybe of getting her team killed.

71. Any quirks?

- I mean, yes. She’s a human, not a Geth. The most notable is that she has intermittent twitches around her eyes, especially her left.

72. Did your Ryder have any hobbies before Andromeda? Are they still able to maintain them on the Tempest? Did they found new things to do?

- Well, archaeology. She also enjoyed gaming, particularly racing and sports games that support split-screen multiplayer so she can thrash Scott.

73. Closet Hobbies

- Light BDSM.

74. Guilty Pleasures

- The occassional Cigarette, cheescake, ecchi manga.

75. Habits

- Always goes to the bathroom first thing after waking up, hates being awake until she’s had some caffeine so she bee-lines for tea, or caffeinated soda, or a caffeinated energy drink. Always hits the exercise bike up before bed to listen or watch something without just sitting on her ass.

76. Desires

- She’s beginning to want to settle down and start a family. Also, on the down-low, she wishes Drack would adopt her as another grand-daughter.

77. Wishes

- She’d like it if the initiative’s textiles equipment would get up and running fully so she could get some summer dresses.

78. Traumas

- Nothing especially. Her Mother’s death, her Father’s death, and her Brother’s injury are the big ones. Being treated a little as an outcast on account of only being part-Asian when she was young in Hong Kong, fitting neither into the local community, not the immigrant community.

79. Worries

- Plenty, but mostly transient.

80. Any nervous ticks? Do they bite their nails, chew their hair? Do they suffer from the shaky leg syndrome?

- Her legs bounce when she’s restless, and she looks around her surroundings a lot more when nervous. If she’s standing, she’ll bounce slightly, but noticeably, on the balls of her feet.

81. Soothers?

- A nice cool bed.

82. Soft Spots

- Kittens. When Turians do that thing with their mandibles. Anyone who cooks.

83. Accomplishments

- Becoming Human Pathfinder. Settling a bunch of colonies. Her work on archaeological digs, and coming the top end of her Alliance class are both points of pride for her.

84. What do they consider their greatest achievement?

- Eos.

85. What do they consider their greatest failure?

- Alec dying. She feels there must have been something more she could do.

86. Earliest Memory?

- Having noodles from a little bowl as a girl at dinner with her mother and brother.

87. Fondest Memory?

- Seeing space for the first time.

88. What are their dreams like?

- Elizabeth rarely dreams, but when she does, her dreams tend to be quite realistic. She does frequently suffer from fever dreams when sick though, and those are quite disorienting.

89. Happiest moment before their departure to Andromeda?

- When she first got deployed to secure a Prothean dig site. The two things that fascinated her as a child were space and the depth of history in the cultures around her, particularly in Hong Kong and, when she studied there, in Paris. She always knew space was going to become part of her life, but finding out she was going to get to reach out and see, first hand, the uncovering of a truly mysterious past in a Prothean ruin, discovering mind-boggling technological wonders that were 50,000 years old already, that really got to her.

90. Happiest moment in Andromeda:

-The first time she returned to Eos and saw it bustling after all the failures that came before.

91. Most valuable possession?

- SAM. She’s bonded with him in a way that’s impossible to describe, and already in the very short time she’s had him, she knows she’d find loosing him unbearable.

92. Do they collect anything?

- Misfit crew members and rocks. Elizabeth loved rocks as a kid, and found them fascinating, and she has ever since. She had to leave most of her collection behind, but smuggled a couple of the choicer small ones along. She didn’t know her father had a special rock until they arrived in Andromeda. Kinda made her feel a little closer to him.

93. Humour?

- Dry, dark, and cynical. The “worse”, often the better, as long as the joke is well crafted.

94. Likes

- I mean, lots of things? Misty rainy days are pretty far up there, as are cool sheets after a long day, and hot cocoa.

95. Dislikes

- Bad manners and disregard for basic niceness.

96. Favourite things in life:

- Perry the Pyjak, because he’s adorable! Also, Kallo and Suvi’s general dorkiness. And how much Drack is a total goober around his grand-daughter. And generally people having a soft and tender side with the ones they care for.

97. Profile:

- She’s an all rounder, and loves using her biotics to blink through things. *Whoosh-pop!*

98. Preferred Weapons:

- A Mattock assault rifle with scope for distance, as a compromise between accuracy, weight, rate of fire, and ammo capacity, giving her both a ranged precision weapon as well as an acceptable weapon for close to medium range engagements if pushed. For closer up, a modified Hurricane submachine gun, and for medium engagements a modified phalanx pistol that auto-fabs explosive charges, allowing her to put a lot of damage down range quickly.

99. Describe their fighting style:

- Again, a bit generalist. In open engagements, she tries to keep her distance and focus from target to target, methodically picking them off, and generally prefers to keep enemies as far away as possible just so she takes fewer hits. In enclosed spaces, or when pushed, she jumps from target to target, using her biotics to throw and yank enemies about, and to generate a barrier so she can close and use her biotics to “melee” opponents, nevermind blinking about the place to disorient the enemy.

100. Speciality:

- Controlled Biotic pulls. She can capture multiple objects, and keep them captured for a long time. While her other skills are decent, her throw especially being quite potent, her skill at capturing objects in a controlled biotic field is a cut above the rest.

101. Favourite Squadmates:

- Vetra and Drack. While she can tolerate the others, she actively enjoys Drack-and-Vetra’s company. She finds Cora preachy, and too serious, to the extent it interferes with her ability to do her job in ‘Liz’s opinion; She finds Liam obnoxious, although generally competent, despite a tendency to not plan ahead; She finds Peebee childish and trying, having little time for her facade of “mystery”; She finds Jaal’s attitude to be superior, his people to be even more prone to blind bigotry than most milky-way races, and their collective assertion that their emotional openness is somehow empowering to be little more than an excuse to emotionally degrade each other without long term consequence, and while it might not be fair to lump Jaal in with his people, his general adherence to defending their stances seems to be unthinking enough to ‘Liz that she feels he’s contributing to culture that is inherently unaccepting of genuine dissent and disagreement.

102. How do they handle the Nomad?

- Like a pro. Elizabeth had extensive experience driving off-road under various planetary conditions with the Alliance, and the act of driving appeals to some nerdy core of her personality that enjoys the precision of the act, the engineering, and the knee quivering power.

103. How do they maintain their sleeping pattern?

- These days, with SAM’s help, although Elizabeth has struggled to maintain regular sleep patterns since childhood, often relying on strict regiments of alarms to wake, and prescribed medicine to sleep.

104. Any traditions they value?

- Far to many to list. While Elizabeth is a forward facing and thinking woman, she recognizes the importance of the past, and is prone to cherishing the small things from it, like analogue time-pieces, and cooking over fire. Particularly important to her are manners, simple basic manners. She feel that in day-to-day life, they take no true effort, and signify a general respect for your fellow beings,

105. Culture?

- Most of Elizabeth’s culture comes from Ellen and Alec’s generally western Earth background, but an early childhood in Hong Kong definitely gave ‘Liz an element of awareness of Asian cultures and history, as well as informing her own worldview and mindset, and she embraces facets of Asian cultures generally, from appreciating the reverence for the natural world in Shinto and the search for inner peace of Buddhism, to things much more simple, like the slight bow that accompanies every “thank you” that passes her lips.

106. Eating Habits:

- Generally healthy, but sometimes too much. Elizabeth has struggled with Stress eating throughout her life.

107. Any pets?

- Just Perry the Pyjak. She had, with her brother, a cat and a dog as a child, the cat in Hong Kong, where a house-pet was more realistic, and a dog in Canada, where the larger suburban environments made walking and playing with a pooch doable.

108. Work Ethic:

- She avoids it when she can, but if something grabs her eye, or will clearly have a real world impact, she’ll work at it efficiently and well.

109. Does your Ryder have a criminal record?

- A couple public intoxication charges from college, an indecent exposure charge, and a few vandalism charges from graffiti as a teen.

110. Degrees?

- Two bachelors, one in Anthropology with emphases in the application of archaeological methods and xeno-anthropological principles, and one in Political Science, with focus on modern galactic relations.

111. Who is your Ryders best friend on the Tempest?

- Kallo.

She find him so easy to talk to, and so nice. To be honest, she has a bit of a crush. Besides, he’s just the best to hug! Most of all, he’s sensitive and patient. He’s the only crew member Elizabeth feel like she doesn’t need to be strong for. It was something about the way he was cheerful and joking from the get go, but always professional. She felt and instant fondness and connection.

112. Does your Ryder have any role models?

- Elizabeth has a fondness for those who pushed frontiers. She always admired Norgay and Hillary for refusing to say who reached the summit first. Also the early astronauts. To her, those kinds of people, often possessed of a surprising humility in contrast to the grandeur of their achievements, people who went to the unknown places to do the notionally undoable are the manifestation of the human spirit.

113. Any heroes and/or mentors?

- Not particularly, although she approves of Commander Shepard’s pioneering course as a Spectre, and her bright optimism in an often cynical galaxy. Elizabeth still remembers when the press photos first released of Shepard’s crew receiving commendations, and how it was so diverse, so different from what anyone suspected. Turian shoulder-to-shoulder with Humans and a Krogan, a Quarian helping the galaxy despite the tremendous mistreatment most received in galactic society, and the Willaim’s sisters, their family name no longer mud because of their forbears, accepting the highest Alliance and Citadel commendations for bravery on behalf of their fallen sister.

114. What is their reputation in Andromeda?

- Broadly positive. She has a reputation for helping those who need it, and not believing any problem is too small. She also has a reputation for crushing the life force out of you with her biotic powers, or burying a bullet in your head from behind a rock outcropping if you get in her way, or cause undue ruckus, or generally want a fight. She’s well brutal to those she considers threats, and the word is spreading.

115. Do they have a strong opinion on pineapples on pizza?

- They do not have a strong opinion, but they approve of people eating what they enjoy. Elizabeth herself rarely has pizzas with pineapple, but doesn’t mind.

116. Ever stole something?

- Nothing important. Strictly speaking she broke galactic law by ferreting away a small Prothean artifact from a dig, a small piece of a shattered and tremendously damaged base relief.

117. Is your Ryder the kind of person to play pranks? If yes, what did they do?

- Not really. Elizabeth more enjoys word play. Although she does occasionally enjoy getting a rise out of people, and can be a little gadflyish

118. Any “classic” movies they love?

- Apollo 13, 2001: A Space Odyssey, The Blasto Movies because they’re like a comedy-action James Bond, and Star Wars Excluding episodes I, XIII, and XIX. Turns out that most galactic cinema is trash. the galaxy lost its shit when Star Wars was re-released for galactic showings, and Elizabeth remembers seeing it in London where it was being shown in the original English, in a theater packed with aliens in the city on business. She swears the Turian ambassador was in the back row.

119. Your Ryder once uploaded a video that went viral. What was it about?

- Biotic gymnastics. She did an Uneven bars set without any bars in full combat gear while on deployment near the verge. Gave her a decent reputation for biotic skill.

120. Describe your Ryder in one vine

- No.

121. What tropes fit your Ryder?

- She feels like a Pint-Sized Powerhouse next to Drack and Vetra, a Brainy Brunette, an Action Girl, a Magic Knight, with Mind Over Matter skills, a real One-Woman Army, who tends towards the cross road of Good Is Not Nice and Good Is Not Soft when someone gets on her bad side. Oh, and she totally has a Violently Protective Girlfriend...

Vetra, in a peaceful moment between murdering Kett and other sundry villains.

122. Favourite Song?

- Just one? Uh, Spirit in the sky by Norman Greenbaum?

123. Do they play music in the nomad?

- Not normally. I mean, in and around the colonies, sure, but out in the wilds? Why play music and ruin the breath-taking awesomeness of the unknown?

#Mass Effect: Andromeda #Fem!Ryder #Ryder #My Ryder #Pathfinder #Pathfinder Ryder #Questions #Answers #Questions and Answers #Q&A #Seriously though Grandpa Drack would be the best can you imagine him dressed up as Santa?

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amarietie · 7 years

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Fic Ask: Blind Date, 3 per chapter

Ohhh goodness it definitely took me longer than necessary to get around to this, but here we are! Also, it’s very possible that these lines are more like sections than lines, and sort of toe the line between ‘significant’ and ‘I just really like them.”

And wellllll I was going to stick this behind a 'read more' but I don't know how to do that in HTML and every time I do an edit in rich text, it deletes all of my HTML formatting, so... please excuse the long ass post

From this meme:

Chapter 1

“So, have you decided what courses you’re going to take yet?” [Mikleo] opted to ask instead, thankfully feeling like he was regaining a bit of his composure. And from that calmer perspective, he realized that he was maybe having fun with this. It was kind of like a game - how to go about exchanging all of the most basic, introductory information while still making it look like they knew each other well.

This is the moment when Mikleo flips from flustered to enjoying himself. And I think this is the kind of game that both of them would absolutely enjoy.

If asked later at what point the evening had stopped feeling like a fake date and more like talking with someone he had known for years, Mikleo couldn’t exactly say. But as they exited the restaurant into the faintly chilly evening, he felt entirely content.

I really enjoyed this line because I feel like the two of them would just fall into an easy friendship effortlessly, even beyond any sort of physical attraction. No matter what they’re both coming out of this one conversation feeling like best friends already.

Later,Mikleo would wonder what exactly had made him so bold. Perhaps it was the second drink he had over the course of the meal, or maybe the stars were in the right alignment, or maybe he just really likedSorey. Whatever, the cause, he worked uphis courage to reach out and grab the hand still scratching at Sorey’s cheek, and then plant a feather-light kiss in its place.

Kind of similar to the lats line and kind of in conjunction to it - Mikleo can get flustered, sure, but he’s feeling content and he likes this boy a lot already, and that lets him be a bit bold.

Chapter 2

“Good afternoon and welcome to Seraph Ice CreamParlor. How can I help you today?” Mikleo asked in a very goodcustomer-service voice as Sorey approached the counter. He was betrayed,however, by the sly grin on his face and sparkle in his eye.Oh, so that’s how this was going to be. “Well, I’m supposed to be meeting up with this really good looking guyfor a date. Seen anyone like that around here?”“I can’t say that I’ve seen anyoneparticularly attractive at all today.”“Not even me?”“Nope.”“Harsh,” Sorey said, deflating a little. “This is revenge for implying you might work at a chain shop, isn’t it?”“Perhaps. And you really did walkinto that one.”

Nothing like a little bit of flirty banter

He had always been picky about vanilla ice cream, because its simplicitymeant that every component had to be perfect, and this was perfect. It felt like silkon his tongue, and the vanilla flavor came through, instead of just tasting ofmilk and sugar. He closed his eyes for amoment to savor the experience, and when he opened them again Mikleo was hidinga laugh behind his hand that brightened his face in the most wonderfulway. The thought rose unbidden toSorey’s mind that he really was amazing. Two dates with the guy, one ofthem not even official, and I’m completely doomed.

Sorey’s fucking crush goggles, on both Mikleo and his ice cream…

This time, [Sorey] was ready for the attack on his dessert and tried to block with his own spoonas Mikleo made a second pass at the mango sorbet. After a few minutes struggle, Mikleo emergedvictorious, and took his second bite with what looked like a challenge. “Hah, I win this time.”No way, that was not going to stand. But there was hardly an equivalent way toretaliate. That’s when Sorey got anidea. He could feel the wheels in hishead start to turn, trying to tell him why it was a bad idea, or that he had noidea what he was doing, but he clamped down on that quick; this was not a momentto be overthinking. Instead, he leanedslightly to the side to press their mouths together in a kiss.

A little bit of competitiveness, and first kiss!

Chapter 3

In search of a distraction, Soreyreached into his bag of snacks and pulled out the first thing he grabbed. It was a bag of gummy boars, labeled with apicture of a little, cartoon-ish prickly boar, in case anyone happened to beconfused about the contents. “Do youwant a gummy boar? They’re that organicbrand, so no gelatin. I checked,” heexplained before Mikleo had the chance to ask.“Youdidn’t have to get those. They’re twicethe price of the regular ones.”“Igot all of this stuff for us to eat, though. It would be no fun if we couldn’t share.”

Half of why I like this is because I’m a nerd to who likes working in as many random little Zesty bits as possible, but also Sorey being considerate of Mikleo’s preferences.

Rose scoffed from where she waswaiting for her turn off to the side. “More like show off in front of your boyfriend.”Soreycould feel the heat in his cheeks, and a quick glance at Mikleo confirmed thathe was blushing too. They hadn’t had anyofficial conversations about what to call themselves, but Sorey didn’tparticularly want to refute that statement. Mikleo stayed silent on the matter as well. Did that mean that he considered themboyfriends? They would have to talkabout it at some point, but just the implications made Sorey feel a littlegiddy.Itmust have shown on his face, because a moment later, Edna scoffed and said, “Ohgross. Now look what you’ve done, Rose.”

This is the first mention of them being in an actual relationship, rather than just having a few dates, and of course it’s Rose who said it, before they even did. And then I just had to include Edna’s reaction for the snark.

Mikleo sighed with relief and hisposture relaxed. “Well, that’s good tohear. If you didn’t like my friends, itwould be a lot harder to try to keep you around.”“You’retrying to keep me around, huh?”“Well,yeah. Cute, willing to let me kick hisbutt at pool, and an ancient history nerd? Where else am I going to find that?”Soreyducked his head and fiddled with his earring, sheepish in the face of thecompliment. But there was a big smilegrowing across his face. “I’d like tokeep you around, too.”

Actual confirmation (sort of, you know, without actually saying the words) from the boys that yest, they do want this to be a real relationship.

Chapter 4

‘Energetic’ was certainly amongst the first words that came to mind whenthinking about Sorey, but it turns out he was just plain good at directing thatenergy. That came at the price of tuning out the rest of the world, andan apparent inability to keep track of writing utensils.

This line is kind of important to Sorey’s characterization for this story, actually. The more and more I’ve written Blind Date Sorey, the more it seems like he has a little bit of ADHD to me. Now, of course, this doesn’t eliminate the fact that he’s smart and a great student - one of my best friends from college had ADHD and she was very bright and made good grades - but it does have an effect on how I’ve been viewing him, personally.

Even as he picked up his spoon and set into the whipped cream on top ofthe shake, he could feel himself starting to droop to the side. Soreygave him a small, sweet smile as he came to rest against his shoulder, and thenskillfully went to work distracting Rose and Dezel by asking about Dezel’smajor and classes. Between bites, he managed to tease out information bitby bit on his self-designed program in animal behavior in hopes of one daytraining service animals. Mikleo couldn’t quite remember if he’d everheard Dezel say so many words in one sitting, and it came to him then exactlywhat a wonderful person everyone at Ladylake University had managed to miss.

I like this bit both for Sorey casually distracting the others from sleepy Mik because he knows sleepy Mik will be embarrassed about it. And also, Mikleo kinda has it bad for Sorey, too.

Sorey pouted, but then his face brightenedagain. He reached out to tap Mikleo’s nose with a finger, and said,“Luzrov Rulay.”Mikleo had been busy going cross-eyed tosee the finger on his nose, but he looked back out to meet Sorey’s eyes. He looked incredibly proud of himself. It took a moment for Mikleoto piece together a translation, because he hadn’t taken any Ancient Tonguesince last spring, but when he did, he shot him an incredulous glare and asked,“Did you seriously just call me ‘Mikleo the Enforcer?’”

This was one of the bits I was most excited about from this chapter, mostly because, once again, I’m a nerd and wanted to work in Mikleo’s true name. Props to Sorey, too, for whipping out that Ancient Language translation.

Alright, wow, thanks everybody who stuck through this whole thing, it’s damn long as expected. But it was also kinda cool. When I first got this ask, I was thinking I would be hard pressed to find 3 lines from each chapter, but as I worked on it, I was actually having a hard time cutting down to 3 lines per chapter, lol. Also, thank you to the lovely @neodiji for asking!!

#amarietie answers an ask #neodiji #Blind Date #tales of zestiria #long post

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taylorhendrixxx · 4 years

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A Letter To The Overwhelmed Younger Me.

980 words

Taylor Hendrix

Mrs. Swinson

ENG 101

9/6/20

A Letter To The Overwhelmed Younger Me.

Dear Taylor,

I know you are mortified about being the new kid, along with it being your first year of middle school. Looking back now, you have a right to be a little spooked, middle school is hard. Not the school work, you'll be okay I promise, I just want you to think about the people you surround yourself with, they stick to you for years and years. If I could go back and change things I probably would let me tell you why.

Walking into a brand new school with people who have known each other their whole lives is hard. I'm guessing you don't like your teacher right now, am I right? Well, don’t stress about it. She is shoving content in your brain and doesn't understand all kids learn at different paces. She doesn't know you have extreme anxiety, so just buckle in for pure embarrassment when she calls you up to fix the grammar in the paragraph on the board. I wish I could sit here and write this letter to her instead, but I can't, so here is a little reassurance to take some weight off your shoulders, your seventh-grade teacher is a lunatic (I'm sorry) but she teaches you about the holocaust most of the year and it ends up being one of your favorite historical topics to read and write about. Eighth grade will make you realize that it was not you that was in the wrong, you just had a teacher who didn't care. Mrs. Blackwood, her classroom is in the basement and she has an entire library wall as they did in elementary school, and a reading rug and bean bag chairs!! She lets you guys have a whole class period every Friday to read whatever book you want to without any interruption or distraction. She is a great listener and communicator and understands your anxiety, so don't worry about it with her. At the end of the year, she is going to make you do a huge project that is way out of your comfort zone. She makes arrangements for you to go last so you could watch the others, you kicked butt and made a 95. Now that eighth grade is over, I'll give you the inside scoop on your high school English teachers too, there's some pretty great ones in the mix.

Oh High School, the place you will learn so many life lessons, figure out how much you love art and makeup, and grow as a person. You got your braces off before freshman year!!! I know you were scared everyone would think you were ugly with them, nobody would've thought that I pinky promise, so don't get them off yet, you will have to get Invisalign anyways. Your freshman year English teacher is the best, her name is Mrs.Park, she’s in her twenties so she gets us and doesn't expect us to be perfect. You guys read Romeo and Juliet and you volunteer to read for a character, I know, you would've never thought you'd do that, huh? She's pretty lenient though so make sure you keep up with your work and don't start slacking! You get your freshman year teacher again your junior year, but she ends up getting pregnant and going on maternity leave so you have a sub for the entire semester. They are constantly changing and the coursework will be a jumbled up mess. You're going to struggle a lot, and the senioritis will start to set in, but you manage to push through and make above a B.

Senior year is weird, the senioritis is so high, you have finally realized the toxicity in your life and gotten rid of it, you are sort of riding solo but I promise it is what you need. Your senior year English teacher Mrs.Smith rocks. She does the most fun interactive puzzles and games on Thursdays, and on Fridays, you guys get to listen to a super interesting true-crime podcast. Fridays will be your favorite days because eventually you are addicted to true crime and listening to new podcasts in the car by yourself has become your therapy. Mrs. Smith is the kind of English teacher that will let you sit in her class during lunch on a bad day, call you out of another class to “help” her with a project she needs an extra hand on, and listens to your problems. She always gives the best advice so listen to it! You end up kicking butt senior year and graduating early, right before everyone else had to leave due to a pandemic. You go to Gaston College your second semester instead of highschool, so you can get ahead for your first semester at your “dream” school, The University of North Carolina at Wilmington. You are so pumped to be four hours away, but after just a week of move in, everything hits you like a ton of bricks. The toxicity you had just gotten rid of senior year, made its way back and knocked your happiness and mental health down a few pegs.

Now we are here, where I am today, writing you this letter at home with Bella in my lap happy and thriving, my best advice for you is, look into ADHD more, I just got diagnosed extremely recently and I am 18. I wish I or my parents or doctors would have seen the signs earlier because maybe school would not have been as large of a struggle. And another thing, nothing matters, no one cares if you wore the same jeans two days in a row, the girl next to you that made a 100 on her test doesn't care that you made an 80, and the only person who should care, is yourself.

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therightnewsnetwork · 7 years

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Writing Angry: Celebrities, Supergirl, and Political Creep

Americans can put up with a lot when it comes to celebrities. We still go watch Mission Impossible movies even after Tom Cruise had a bouncy seizure on Oprah Winfrey’s couch. We can even forgive him for hawking a religion that has all the trappings of a cult to anyone outside of it. People still tuned in to watch Joe Namath play football even after he admitted to a strange predilection for wearing pantyhose. (Well, strange for that time at least. If Tom Brady did it now, we’d all let out a collective, “Whatever.”)

People even still watch the Kardashians even after it’s become painfully clear that they do absolutely nothing. Hell, they watch them specifically because they do nothing.

But one thing we cannot tolerate is the newfound need of any person with even a slight hint of notoriety to expound their political views if they get within 20 yards of anyone with a video camera or cell phone. Like creeping ivy weaves its way up a trellis, politics has started to creep into our entertainment, and that’s not something we’re going to take sitting down… even if the couches we potato on are really comfortable.

I’ve posited a theory about why this is happening (Hollywood Guilt: Why So Liberal?), but just to recap: If you made millions for doing something every kid in the entire world does for free, and you came to the realization that if you disappeared tomorrow, a hundred other people just as talented as you are there to replace you, you would probably feel the need to do something that others might consider more worthwhile. In a world where people are supposed to feel guilty about the color of their skin or how much they make, it’s a solid hypothesis. Unfortunately, it would be impossible to test because no celebrity would ever be honest about that while they’re telling you how hard it was on their psyche to pretend to be someone else.

Soldiers facing IED’s in Iraq didn’t go through anything compared to an actor having to pretend to fight with a laser sword that he could only see after postproduction.

What these celebs seem too self-important to realize is that we watch them because we need a break from the real world from time to time, especially politics, and we do that primarily through them. They appeal to us because they can take us away from our lives, if only for a couple of hours. When they stop being able to do that, their value as a celebrity drops like an eagle hitting a wind turbine.

Slight pause. A little background for perspective:

I’m a self-admitted movie buff and comic book nerd. (It says so right in my bio, thanks for reading.) As a world class insomniac, I tend to get in two to three movies a night. I had rated over 15,000 movies on Netflix before they switched to the thumbs up/thumbs down system and made me start all over.

That’s not bragging, unless lack of sleep is a virtue in your mind. I just don’t want anyone to think I’m just writing this out of hatred for celebrities. I’m not. I’ve spent the night with quite a few of them. Now back to the column.

Believe it or not, most people don’t want to know about a celebrity’s political views whether they agree or not. In the celebrity search to matter, they taint the very reason they matter to us.

We want to go to a Green Day concert and sing along with Basket Case without hearing Billie Joe shout “F^$& Trump.” We could stay home and watch any report from Portland, OR to get that.

We want to watch a football game without having to think about who’s going to be taking a knee during the national anthem. (And for God’s sake, don’t pretend that the flag and the anthem haven’t been part of sports since the day Cain and Able picked up a couple sticks and played field hockey with a sheep patty.)

We want to read a Stephen King book or listen to a Cher album without worrying about whether they blocked us on Twitter. (Ok, that one was personal.)

And this may come as a surprise, but I want to watch a Clint Eastwood movie and not think about him talking to an empty chair.

No celebrity has ever changed anyone’s political opinion. No one says,” Well, I was against illegal immigration, but then Kylie Jenner gave that Pepsi to that cop, and now I get it!”

At most, it’s a validation of what we already think. It’s fun to believe that you and Lady Gaga are simpatico, or that Kid Rock and I could have lunch together without wanting to kill each other by the time we get dessert. It makes us feel that we could sit at the table with the cool kids.

No, as much as celebs want you to believe that they just feel it in their hearts that as long as you gave them fame, they have the obligation to use it to make a difference in “just one person’s life”, it ends up being a supremely selfish act. If you do something just for the sake of someone seeing you do it, you can’t truly call it altruistic.

“Now, Parker ” you say, “a lot of people get on Twitter and pop off about politics. Why can’t celebrities do that?

“Good question,” I reply, “and to that I say know your role.”

You don’t turns on the news expecting a reporter to suddenly break into a stand-up comedy routine, and nobody goes to The Avengers expecting Iron Man to deliver a soliloquy on gun control. The first has yet to be seen; the latter is becoming all too common. And it’s not just the actors, the political creep is weaving its way into their product, too, thanks to Hollywood writers who feel the need to get in on the politically correct act.

Arrow (yes, I’m a comic book nerd) had that very special episode on the goods and bads of gun control. Supergirl’s entire season turned into a thinly disguised Trump-bash about immigration. (Yes, there are aliens on Earth, but most of them were good and there is no reason except bigotry to kick them off the Earth or for God’s sake do something silly like build a force field around the planet to keep them out. Most of them were just trying to get away from their own bad planets.

The writers were so intent on getting this message in, they completely forgot that Supergirl worked for a secret government organization dedicated to monitoring those aliens and getting rid of or locking away the bad ones.)

If I tuned in to the West Wing, I knew I was going to watch a political show. Ditto House of Cards or Homeland. I even know which way the show is going to slant. If I tune in to Supergirl, I want to turn my brain off and see a flying woman kick some alien butt with heat vision. I don’t want to watch her have a debate. Not only is it clubbing you over the head with a position, it’s just bad writing.

As a conservative, I’m a big believer in freedom of speech, and everyone has the right to share their opinions. Celebrities aren’t excluded from that, but they need to get over themselves and realize the reason they’re celebs in the first place. There are consequences for their little forays into feigned relevance. George Clooney’s movies have tanked, and it’s not just because they were all horrendous (although Solaris could put an ADHD kid on a sugar high to sleep.) A bigger reason is that he’s turned off half the people in the country who would bother to go watch him onscreen.

Clooney, like Hillary Clinton, may feel like he doesn’t want those deplorable people as fans anyway. If he does that would be a shame, since he owes a lot of his success to those very people.

I don’t want to speculate about Clooney’s life, but he’s got money for days, a gorgeous wife, and a job a lot of people would love to have. I’m guessing he’ll be okay no matter what I think. I can say the same about Trump, which is why I’m pretty sure he doesn’t care what Sarah Silverman or Whoopi Goldberg think of him.

Judging by the last election, most people aren’t influenced by their opinions either.

I just don’t want to become a place where our entertainment avenues are as divided as the country.

I don’t want to live in a world where only Calgon can take me away. Especially since then we’d have to debate showers vs. baths

The post Writing Angry: Celebrities, Supergirl, and Political Creep appeared first on Tea Party Tribune.

from http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/writing-angry-celebrities-supergirl-and-political-creep/

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patriotnewsblogger-blog · 7 years

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Writing Angry: Celebrities, Supergirl, and Political Creep

New Post has been published on http://www.therightnewsnetwork.com/writing-angry-celebrities-supergirl-and-political-creep/