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sparrellow · 4 years

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What the Heart Wants

“Don’t break my heart again, Rin Kagamine.”

— childhood friends, and the art of growing up.

rating: T genre: romance/hurt/comfort/angst ships: rin/len, a sprinkle of miku/kaito words: 3,357

Rin was not much of a party-goer. She preferred the comfort of the couch and TV in her living room, watching sad love stories and stuffing her face with Happy Turn rice crackers. At least there, she could hear her own thoughts.

But Miku was having a party. A special party. A reunion party, of sorts. And as much as she didn’t want to go, she felt obliged to for the sake of their friendship.

So there she was, standing in the corner of the room, hiding behind a glass of lemon chu-hai. It was busy, full of familiar faces she didn’t want to see. She hadn’t even really thought much about what kind of situation she’d landed herself in until a certain blonde boy—man, he’s a man, Rin—came striding into the room like a celebrity guest-appearance on a TV show.

His smile was dazzling, and enough to turn her world upside-down.

Immediately she made a mad dash for Miku, who was standing on the other side of the room, making small talk with some of her guests. Rin ducked behind her like a shield, praying she hadn’t just caught You Know Who’s attention.

“Rin, what are you doing?” Miku asked with a frown, glancing over her shoulder at her.

Rin shushed her. “I’m hiding,” she said.

“Hiding from who?”

“Him.” She hoped she wouldn’t have to drop anymore hints to give away who she was talking about.

Miku gave her a clueless look, before scanning the room. Her gaze fell on Him, the man, and her eyebrows shot up. “Seriously?” she asked, rolling her eyes. “You’re still not over Len?”

Rin puffed out her cheeks. “It’s not that, I’m—”

“Rin,” Miku said, turning to face her. She grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her lightly. “You know, maybe it’s time you adult up and take initiative. You can’t run away from him forever. And I’m not going to be your bodyguard at my party.” Her tone was firm, unsaid words heard between the lines: And that’s final.

With that, Miku whipped around and strolled off to greet said person.

Rin ducked back behind a pot plant nearby, her heart racing. Easier said than done, she thought with a frown. It was maybe childish of her, in retrospect—but she hadn’t grown up still, even after all these years.

They were childhood friends, after all, and that part of her life was filled with fond memories of him; the kind that spread through her chest with a warm, bubbling sensation. But childhood was long gone, and they’d long grown apart, and Len had changed in more ways than one.

He wasn’t that scrawny little kid anymore.

Rin stared down into her glass, watching as bubbles rose from the bottom, one by one.

It wasn’t always all sunshine and roses. When they’d grown up enough, enough for her to finally realise that oh no, I might kind of like him , that was when their relationship slowly began to change. Like the Earth orbiting the Sun—they were stuck in a gravitational pull, sometimes close, sometimes far, going around in circles. He fell in love with another girl, and that was when she thought:

I can’t do this. I can’t do this anymore.

How it’d hurt her to cut him off and build a wall between them, how it’d tore her apart—how it’d tore him apart. There was this knot of guilt in the pit of her stomach. A knot of guilt as he had grabbed her hand one afternoon and asked, Why? Why have you been so distant?

Rin had never given him an answer.

They hadn’t talked since. It’d been at least five years.

The glass almost went flying from her hand as someone touched her elbow, shaking her from her thoughts. It was Kaito.

Her shoulders sagged with relief.

“Sorry—sorry,” he apologised, noticing he’d startled her. That didn’t stop him from giving her a look of concern. “What are you doing behind the pot plant, Rin?”

Rin’s cheeks burned. “Hiding,” she mumbled.

Kaito quirked an eyebrow. “Why?”

Not giving an answer, she simply led his gaze to Miku and Len chatting idly in the centre of the room.

“Oh.” His lips thinned, eyebrows furrowing, creating a crease in his forehead. “You… still haven’t made amends?”

Rin’s thumb drew patterns in the condensation of her cup. Her eyes were glued to the floor. “No.”

Kaito was a lot more understanding than Miku. Forgiving, somewhat. He was like an older brother, but the nice kind, the kind that you would go to for advice. His gentleness was his whole appeal.

“Maybe you should,” he suggested, his lips curving in somewhat of a hopeful smile. “You know, it’s been a while, Rin. He might… I’m sure he would like to talk to you.”

“I can’t,” she whispered.

He stared at her, waiting for her to continue. Waiting for her to explain why she couldn’t do seemingly the simplest thing in the world.

She kept talking. “I just can’t. It’s so hard. How could I just walk up to him and talk to him like nothing ever happened—it left a hole in me. Maybe it left a hole in him, too.”

Kaito looked back at Len, across the room, chuckling at something Miku said. He frowned in thought. “You don’t have to do that,” he said, reaching up to pat her on the head. “You don’t have to do anything, really. But you shouldn’t hide behind the pot plant all night. Because then nothing will happen at all.”

He pulled his hand away and strolled off, the cold air hitting the top of Rin’s head like a slap to the face.

Slowly, slowly, she took his advice.

When Len had spotted her on the couch later that evening, he sauntered over with a guarded expression.

Rin had been staring blankly at the TV screen, considering calling it a night at 9pm, when she sensed his gaze and tore her eyes away to meet his. A chill ran up her spine, and in an attempt not to flee the situation, she downed her entire drink in one go.

She figured she didn’t trust her sober self as much to handle the interaction.

He took a seat near her—leaving enough space for another body to sit in between them, had someone want to—and leant back in the chair, folding one leg up to rest on his thigh. Her hand shook as she put the glass down on the table, and it clattered against the lacquered wood before letting it go.

A silence that was enough to drive any person towards insanity stretched between them. Rin knew he was probably finding the words he wanted to say—calculated, well-rehearsed—he was that kind of person. He never said anything without thinking about it first; especially not in this kind of situation.

Her eyes bore holes into her kneecaps as she waited, and waited, and waited.

Eventually, Len cleared his throat. She almost jumped out of her skin. “So,” he said. “You won’t even say hi to me, Rin?”

Blood pooled to her cheeks as her heart jumped to life in her chest. She wasn’t sure if she was embarrassed or guilt-ridden or terrified, or maybe all at once. Her tongue darted over her lips; they were dry, she felt parched despite downing that whole glass. The music that had been playing in the background the whole time suddenly seemed awfully loud.

“I…” Rin squeaked down at her knees. The words were getting stuck in her throat, choking her up, and she had a sudden urge to hurl over the side of the couch. Placing a hand to her mouth, she swallowed, closed her eyes, and reminded herself to breathe.

His gaze left the side of her face to travel across the room, but he kept talking. “I know you saw me.”

Her fingers curled around the fabric of her dress with a tremble. Tonight, she’d tried for something a little more ambitious, a little more mature; the dress was short and flowy, yellow and floral-lace, it sat high at the base of her neck but dipped down her back, exposing smooth, white skin.

But around Len, she simply felt like a little girl dressed up in her mother’s clothes.

“I… was waiting for you to say something first,” she rasped out, the words finally untangling from her tongue.

Len’s eyes went back to her. His mouth opened, closed, opened again—the gears were turning in his mind, typing out a script on a typewriter, perfecting every sentence. Finally, he settled for a, “Huh.”

Rin slowly lifted her gaze to meet his. His eyes were a dark, stormy blue; they always had been. Mischievous, mysterious, there was always this glint to them, something so familiarly Len. His fingers drummed against the backrest of the couch, playing out some secret melody—perhaps it was a song he played on piano. He liked piano.

Len swept a stray hair away from his face. “It’s been a while since we last talked, Rin,” he said, eyes flickering between her face and the rest of the room. He reached for his drink on the coffee table in front of them and took a sip, before continuing, “Missed ya.”

Heat climbed to her face, and she looked at her own empty glass on the table, willing for it to fill up. “Yeah,” she breathed, unsure if she’d just heard him right.

“Has life been treating you well?” he asked, casual, but she could tell in his mind he was trying to plot a path to lead the conversation somewhere she didn’t want it to go.

Rin traced out the patterns on her sleeve with a finger; following the stem, a leaf, the flower petals… counting them, five… six… “It’s…” Her mouth was as dry as a wall. She swallowed. “It’s… yeah. Good, I guess.”

If Len had noticed how nervous she was, he wasn’t letting on. “That’s nice.”

The silence that followed reminded her of her table manners. “Erm, how—how about you?”

His lips curved, the beginnings of a smile, and his eyes were now focussed on the TV screen. Some romcom was playing. Not that it really mattered—the volume was muted. “It’s been okay. Work is okay. Busy. Could be paid more, but I guess I’ll never really make big money as a composer, hey?”

That reminded her. She didn’t really know what he went on to study in university. Music, huh, she thought. It was a surprise that even his parents had let him go into such a field.

“I do tutoring on the side, with kids, too,” he added, a wistfulness to his gaze. “It’s a bit of extra pocket money, at least.”

Rin eased back into the couch. “I’m happy to hear you’re… doing something you love.”

“Hmm.” His lips thinned out. “What about you? Go on to be an English major?”

Probably that was what she had told him, the last time they’d talked. They were still in high school. Young. Full of hope. She shook her head, hair bouncing with the movements. “No. I’m just… an office worker. I work for the advertising department of a record label.”

Len raised an eyebrow. “It’s a pity,” he said. “I thought you would be a good teacher.”

She laughed in an exhale. The thought seemed absurd now. She didn’t need to tell him that, though.

“So.” He was staring up at the ceiling now. His fingers were still drumming. His Adam's apple bobbed up and down in his throat. Rin could just about predict what was coming next. “So… why did you stop talking to me all those years ago, Rin?”

She could predict it, but she still didn’t know how she would even answer it. That guilty rock returned; sinking down heavy inside of her, weighing her down. The blood in her ears was loud, rushing, almost drowning out the sound of the party around them.

Somewhere, somehow, her mouth started moving, words spilling out like a pot that’d overboiled. “It’s not that I… it wasn’t… I didn’t mean to…” She took a breath, trying to steady the pounding of her heart. “It’s just… so hard to say.”

Len frowned, not satisfied with her answer. “It’s hard to say,” he echoed, in a tone that showed he didn’t believe in those words as much as he didn’t believe in ghosts. “What, you can’t even tell me what I did to piss you off so bad that you wouldn’t talk to me anymore?”

His question sliced through her like a knife, and she winced. Her arms went to wrap around herself, she curled in, like a turtle retreating into its shell. “It’s not even… that,” she mumbled down to her knees. She felt so pathetic. “You didn’t do anything. It was just… me.”

He blinked at her, not quite comprehending that maybe—possibly—after all these years, after all these years of conjuring up some explanation in his head as to why she suddenly hated him, maybe it wasn’t because he had done anything wrong. “Huh,” he said, and this time, it wasn’t a calculated response.

“I’m just…” Rin hovered, choosing her next words carefully. She smiled at her empty glass on the table, but it was secretly a grimace. “I was just a scared, little girl. Scared of a broken heart.” And I still am.

Len was silent, processing her words. She needed another drink if this conversation was going to carry on. She reached for her glass and stood, not looking at his face. “I’m going to the bar. You want anything?”

He shook his head. She left him sitting. She did everything within her power, this time, to not run away.

When she returned to take a seat with another glass of chu-hai, Len’s hand lashed out, snapping up her wrist in a firm, yet gentle grasp. He pulled her down beside him, closer, maybe a little too close for comfort.

He smelt of cologne and alcohol and aftershave, and something familiar, something that made her only think, Len.

His warm body pressed against hers; she forced herself to sit on the edge of the couch, rather than relax into the empty space right next to him. His expression was unreadable, she couldn’t tell what he was thinking. He dragged a thumb down the back of her arm, pressing flat in the soft space of her elbow.

No amount of willpower could stop the ripple of goosebumps from breaking out over her skin.

“Rin,” he murmured. “If you were scared of a broken heart, then why did you break mine?”

His question hit her like an avalanche. She sat, facing away from him, her hand still clutching at her drink like a lifeline. What do you mean, what do you mean, she wanted to ask, but even she knew that was a foolish question. She knew what he meant.

Rin placed her drink down on the table next to his, looked back over her shoulder at him. He was slouched back, staring up at her from under dark lashes. A sad smile slowly rose to his lips, dumping a bucket of ice-water over her shoulders.

“Because I was selfish,” she answered him with truth, sounding awfully confident despite the doubt that clouded her mind. Her heart thudded against her rib cage. “I was selfish, only thinking of me, and not you.”

Len sat up, shoulder brushing hers. “You just didn’t think to talk to me about it?” he asked. “Didn’t think to ever reach out and—clear the air, or anything.” His hand fluttered out in front of him, demonstrating the act.

Her heart hurt. Her whole chest hurt, actually. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, looking away. “I’m sorry.”

Hot tears stung her eyes. She didn’t even understand why she had to cry. She was the fool, here. She had no reason to.

Len’s hand reached for hers—it was large, warm and clammy, wrapped around her own like a blanket. “Rin,” he said, his hot breath hitting the skin of her bare shoulders. “Look at me.”

She shook her head, no. It was embarrassing, shameless, ridiculous. She wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

His hand went to her thigh as he moved further forward. Before she could even comprehend a single thing he was doing, she felt his lips brush her cheek.

Rin turned to look at him, shocked.

Len hovered near her face, lips twitching upwards. “Don’t break my heart again, Rin Kagamine.”

In one, swift movement, he had her pushed back against the couch; one hand caressing her face, the other resting on her waist. She didn’t hesitate, didn’t fight back. She knew what she wanted. She knew what he wanted.

His lips grazed hers, and the contact almost seared her skin. As he went to pull away, she reached out and pulled him back by the collar, faces colliding. I won’t let you go this time.

Her arms wrapped around his shoulders. They’d grown broader, stronger, with all the time that had passed. A lonely ache filled her chest. With all the time that had passed she spent running away—she could’ve just… been honest?

If she had confessed her feelings to him all those years ago, before drifting apart, would it have changed anything?

Yes, she thought. I still needed to grow.

I still needed to grow up.

Across the room, a weary Miku and proud Kaito watched the pair as they did the tongue tango. Miku reached up to link her arm with her blue-haired companion, the remnants of a smile on her lips.

He leant into her. “This wasn’t really on the agenda, was it?” he asked in a low voice.

“No,” she admitted. “But I’ll gladly take credit for it.”

“You know, he was hanging out for her all these years—and despite knowing that, I’m still surprised.”

Miku chuckled. “I expected a make up. But a make out? No.”

Kaito grinned, shifting his gaze to the girl beside him. She was glowing still, always glowing, and he was sure it wasn’t the highlighter she used. “You think we could, uh, maybe follow suit?”

Her hand skated down his arm, before floating up to pinch his cheek somewhat affectionately. The lights in her eyes danced, laughing. “Get a few more drinks in me, sweetie, before you start dropping the pick-up lines.”

Then she strutted off, and he sighed, defeated.

The heart wants what it wants.

Fin

(epilogue):

They’d sat on that couch kissing for hours until Miku kicked them out at ten to midnight, telling them to go home with a triumphant expression.

Now they walked down the street toward the station, hand-in-hand, not entirely drunk but enough on the way there that the humid midsummer night didn’t bother them. Rin pressed her cheek against his shoulder; a while ago, maybe it would’ve been the other way around.

“I was a bit of a jerk, admittedly,” Len said.

She lifted her head to scan the side of his face. He stared ahead. She wondered what he was going on about.

“Leading you on, and then dating other girls.” He glanced down at her. “I couldn’t be mad at you, not entirely, for distancing yourself.”

Rin stared at him a moment longer, before lowering her gaze to the curb. “I hated doing it,” she mumbled into his sleeve. “But I told myself at the time it was the best thing to do.”

Len smiled. “We were both kids,” he said, slowing his pace. They stopped near the entrance to the subway station, as if there were a barrier keeping them from going any further. “We didn’t know what we were doing.”

“Mm-hmm.”

He leant down to steal another kiss from her lips; soft, longing. His eyes were filled with something odd, she hadn’t really seen before. Affection?

“My place?” he murmured against her mouth.

“Yeah,” she breathed. Her heart fluttered with child-like excitement.

They kept going, eager to make up for the time they'd lost.

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sparrellow · 4 years

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Break A Leg, But Not Literally

Len was happy working from the shadows. Rin was a natural performer. Kaito loved being in the spotlight.

Another year, another school musical—and yet, just when all seemed to be going as usual, the universe had other plans.

rating: T genre: romance/friendship/humour/fluff ships: rin/len, miku/kaito if you squint words: 10,164

Len had always been a shy kid, avoiding anything that would draw unnecessary attention to him.

Every semester, his high school’s theatre club would hold a musical. It wasn’t his idea to join the theatre club (honestly, he’d rather be part of the go-home club), but he had no choice after being dragged by his bold best friend, Kaito, to the sign-up booth during first year.

Kaito was the polar opposite of Len. He loved the spotlight. He’d been acting ever since he was five. He was always first to volunteer in middle school for plays and the like. The guy was just, well, overwhelmingly eager to have hundreds of eyes staring him down.

Of course, Len never dared set foot on the stage—grudgingly obliging to work on props and lighting, and act as a stagehand. That was fine. He liked working from the shadows.

However, it was soon their last semester in which they could participate in a musical before graduation, and naturally, Kaito was trying to nag him into actually doing something.

“C’mon, you could be like, a tree, or a swan, or something,” he hissed to him.

They were sitting at the back of the auditorium, watching the auditions for the female lead roles. The male lead role auditions were scheduled next, and hence, Kaito was waiting for his time to shine.

This semester’s musical was Swan Lake , interestingly enough. (Although, by the sounds of it, they were opting for a less tragic ending, much to Len's disappointment.)

Len rolled his eyes, although his friend couldn’t see his expression in the dark. “I’d rather be stung by a thousand wasps,” he said. “Really, Kai. I’m just happy to watch from the sidelines like always.”

“You’ll regret it,” Kaito said. “And I mean, like, you did a pretty good Odette impression when we were practicing yesterday.”

Len snorted. “Hilarious.”

“It’s true! And when you—”

He shushed his friend as the next auditioner walked onto the stage. Small, feeble, yet very cute; there stood a nervous-looking Rin Kagamine.

Kaito wolf-whistled and waved at her, earning a slap on the leg from Len. Rin glanced up at them and smiled sheepishly, before beginning her audition.

Rin was… well, she was one of the best performers in the theatre group. She’d been doing ballet since she could walk, and taking singing lessons since she could talk. She was humble and sweet and eager to please, always wearing a smile, always being soft-spoken.

There was just a lot to be said about her, but Len could never find all the right words.

One could say it was a crush, and maybe it was—he just really, really admired her.

Kaito and Rin were good friends, having played major roles in past musicals together many times. Len could barely get out a sentence around her, though. Nevertheless, she was Rin— painfully polite and always treating others kindly.

Len watched as she acted out the scene where Odette sees Siegfried and Odile dancing together in the castle. The emotion she poured into her acting and singing—even though it was just an audition—made it seem as if the pain she was feeling was real. The performance pulled at his heartstrings.

When Rin finished her audition and toddled off the stage looking like she’d walked straight into a storm, Kaito turned to Len and said, “Oh, she’s definitely getting the lead role.”

“Yeah?”

“Too bad you won’t be her Siegfried,” he teased with a wink.

Len sighed. “What, you want to audition for Rothbart instead?”

Kaito stroked his chin in thought. “Well, auditioning as a villain is definitely a first, but I’m not opposed…”

They watched the rest of the auditions in silence. Perhaps Len was just biased, but it really did seem likely Rin would get the female lead. Of course, the other students were good, but Rin… she just stood out something special on stage.

Next were the male leads, and Kaito jumped up, ready to go wait in line to be called down by the front.

“Good luck,” he hissed to his friend.

Kaito blew him a kiss and ran off.

Unsurprisingly, he blew his audition out of the water. Of course, Len already knew that—having been his Odette while he practiced for the audition of Siegfried for the past week or so. He was definitely talented.

A few weeks after the auditions, all roles for the musical were announced. As expected, both Kaito and Rin got the leads. Rin seemed genuinely surprised, being too humble for her own good, but Kaito just looked smug.

“It’s a pity you can’t be my Odette,” he joked, as Len checked the lists for what job he’d be appointed. Ew, yet again painting and moving the props.

“I’m quite happy for Rin to be up there instead of me,” Len said, frowning at the paper as he read the names of other students who were helping out. Ugh, and that bossy girl Meiko is in charge of it? What a nightmare.

“Really? Doesn’t seem like that to me,” Kaito observed. Then he leaned over to read the list Len was looking at, snickering at something. “Oh, look! Your best friend Meiko is going to be working with you.”

The last time Meiko and Len were on the same team for the musical, she made him repaint an entire set because she didn’t like the shade of green he used. God, were art students such a pain in the butt.

Len shrugged his shoulders, considering asking to be moved to lighting or audio. “Hopefully I’ll get the paint colour right this time.”

Rin came skipping over to the boys with a smile that lit up the whole room, drawing their attention away from the list. She congratulated Kaito on landing his role. “I look forward to working with you!” she exclaimed, bowing politely.

Kaito nudged Len, winked, then gave her a thumbs up. “Right back at you, Rinnie,” he said.

She glanced over at Len questioningly, who was standing off to the side looking like a cardboard cut-out. “Are you working on props again, Len?”

Len looked down, his ears burning. “Oh. Yeah.”

“Len, here—if only he would audition too,” Kaito said, throwing a thumb in his direction. “He didn’t make a bad Odette when I was practicing.”

Rin raised her eyebrows, surprised. “Really? I wouldn’t think of Len as one to do acting.”

“I don’t,” Len mumbled.

Kaito chortled, slapping a hand down on Len's shoulder, who grunted at the impact. “Oh yeah, but he’s always been a great practice partner! He’s pretty much half the reason I remember my lines.”

“That’s nice of him!” Rin said, beaming. “Maybe I need to practice with him too. I always take forever to learn mine…”

“Well, next time him and I are practicing, I’ll call you over,” Kaito said with a grin. Len wasn’t sure if he was being serious or not, but he was praying that he wasn’t.

A group of some theatre girls walked past, calling Rin over, and she cast an apologetic look at the boys. “Sorry, gotta go,” she said, before waving goodbye and running off.

Kaito turned to Len, the grin still on his face. “So, what do you think? Wanna help Rin remember her lines?”

Len scowled at him. “Kai, I can barely get a sentence out around her. Do you think I’d be much help?”

His friend slung an arm around his shoulders. “Oh Len, we just have to get that talkative side to come out first.”

“How are you going to do that?”

“We’ll figure it out.”

Fat chance , Len mused with a pout.

The weeks rolled by, with work on the musical starting off slow. Len spent most of his afternoons painting props and avoiding Meiko’s wrath, and listening to the other theatre kids gossip.

One day, one of his classmates—and fellow theatre club members—approached him.

“Hey Len,” she said.

She was playing the role of Odile, and helping with other things on the side—Miku, he recalled her name. They’d barely talked in all their years together, so this was a first.

She crouched on the ground beside him as he was finishing off the flowers on a bush, and looked at him with a serious expression while twisting a pigtail in one hand. “Are, you know, Kaito and Rin, like, dating? ”

Len paused mid-stroke, going, “Uhh.”

“Because, like, they seem to be really close, right, and they’re always getting the main roles,” she babbled, and he sat there in silence, wondering for a moment. “And like, I’m just curious, ‘cus they haven’t really said anything, but like, it just wouldn’t surprise me, you know?”

Eventually, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “I dunno. None of my business.” He didn’t think they were dating, but, hell, who knew. Maybe that had changed within the past day or so.

Miku looked at him weirdly. “Aren’t you, like, his best friend?”

“Yeah, and I dunno,” Len answered, returning the same expression. “What’s it to you?”

She flushed. “W-well, you know, I just thought…”

“Why not ask Kaito or something?” he said, looking back down at the prop he was working on. “The guy doesn’t keep any secrets.”

Miku huffed, frustrated with his answers. “Well, I—um, it’s just—that would be sort of rude, okay?”

Len raised an eyebrow. “Really.”

Then she threw her head back, groaning. “Wow, you are so weird. Never mind.”

Miku got up and ran off, not bothering him again. But that got Len thinking…

What if they were dating? Sure, they were friendly with each other, but that was just—he assumed—because they’d worked together on so many musicals before. Besides, Kaito was always sort of gently nudging Len to make a move on Rin, so it didn’t make much sense if they did happen to be dating. (Unless they were like, polyamorous or something.)

Even so, Len couldn’t blame people for assuming it. They were a good-looking couple when together. And the few practices he’d sat through, he couldn’t help but be mesmerised by their acting with one another. Their voices harmonised well, their height difference was sort of amusing, and even their personalities seemed to contrast nicely.

He frowned down at the ugly flower he was painting. It was impossible to see himself with Rin, when she was just so bright and cheery, and him akin to the dark side of the moon.

“Len!” Meiko snapped, disturbing him from his thoughts. She was standing over him, her hands on her hips and her face pulled into a snarl. “Can you pick up the pace? We still have thirteen more of these bush sets to paint!”

Len grumbled an apology, and got back to work, thoughts of Rin and Kaito reeling through his mind.

“Huh, so something weird happened today,” Kaito said, while peeling open an ice-cream he got from the cafeteria vending machine. They were on lunch break, and it was a pleasant, mid-autumn afternoon, so they were sitting out in the courtyard, enjoying the sun.

“What happened?” Len asked, picking at the hard-boiled egg in his lunchbox.

“You know that girl Miku,” he continued, “she’s Odile, right? Anyway, she came up to me all flustered or something and was like, ‘Oh my God, are you and Rin dating?’” He mocked her voice and everything.

Len popped his egg into his mouth and chewed slowly. “She actually asked?” he said.

Kaito then looked at him, surprised. “What, did you know about this?”

“She came up to me the other day, asking if you two were dating,” Len said, before taking a sip of his banana-flavoured milk.

“She asked you? What did you say?”

“I said, ‘I dunno.’”

Kaito raised an eyebrow. “You just told her, ‘I dunno’?”

Len shrugged. “Yeah. She wasn’t happy with that answer, though, so I said if she wanted to know, to just ask you. I didn’t actually think she would, though.”

Kaito scoffed. “She did, and she looked like she was in pain.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. Seemed happy to know we weren’t— ” Kaito then narrowed his eyes at Len, “—dating, though.”

“Look, it’s not my business to know if you two have something going on,” Len defended himself, pretty pathetically at that. “And, well, you’re spending a lot of time together now so maybe something could change. I don’t know.”

Kaito sighed, throwing an arm over his friend's shoulders and roughing up his hair. “God, you’re a loser. But Len, you know, Rin isn’t my type. Not saying she isn’t cute, but…” He released him and gave him a serious look. “Anyway, I’m not that much of a self-centred dick to date her behind your back, am I?”

Len shook his head, reaching up to fix his fringe. “No, but, like, I don’t own her or anything. I can’t even look her in the eye.”

“Hmm,” Kaito said. “Len, you’re too complacent and nice for your own good. You should be more fighty if you want to catch Rin’s attention.”

“I don’t like conflict.”

“Man, you’re strange.” Kaito gave him a grin, taking a bite of his ice-cream. “But I guess that’s what makes you Len.”

Len gave a dry laugh, which died down pretty soon thereafter, because he spotted the tell-tale wobble of a certain girl’s white ribbon. Rin was approaching them from the other side of the courtyard, a sense of urgency in her step.

“Hey Kaito,” she called, waving. She nodded at Len as a greeting. “We’re having a quick emergency measure-up to double check our measurements for costumes before they get finalised. Can I borrow you for a sec?”

“Aw man,” Kaito groaned. “It’s lunch time! Can’t they let a guy rest?”

Her lips twitched. “Sorry, Kai.” As Kaito gathered his things, she turned to Len. “Hi Len. How are all the props going?”

“I’ve painted seven bushes,” Len said to his knees. “And my hand really hurts.”

“Len’s an art prodigy, you see,” Kaito commented, slapping him on the back, earning a disgruntled oof . “Meiko loves his work.”

Rin raised an eyebrow. This time, she couldn’t contain her smirk. “Really?” she said, sounding skeptical. “To be honest, that girl terrifies me. Well, good luck, Len!”

Then she and Kaito were off, leaving Len to sit in the courtyard by himself and sigh down at his half-eaten lunch.

Well, at least he said more than three words to her, this time.

Winter vacation came and went, and soon began the countdown. Of course, the musical was still at least two months away, but theatre kids liked to feel the pressure of impending doom for some odd reason.

Len’s team had finished with painting the bushes and were tasked to work on the castle shell with another team. Apart from a few students who were picky about design and colour, most days spent painting were uneventful.

The good thing was that the theatre club shared the auditorium for both prop preparation and rehearsal, so he got to see Kaito and Rin’s progress, too. Of course, on the odd occasion, Len was forced into helping Kaito practice his role on the weekends, but he preferred seeing it from the perspective of the audience.

One afternoon, while painting and listening to everyone’s rehearsal, there seemed to be some drama up on the stage. The theatre club’s president—Luka—was in a bad mood that day, and after Rin had stuffed up her lines for the fifth time in a row, she snapped .

Len had stopped whatever he was doing to watch as Luka pulled Rin aside to talk to her off-stage. A few minutes later, Rin went running out of the auditorium in tears.

No one else seemed to notice; rehearsal had moved on to another scene without her, and the art, audio and lighting kids were too busy focusing on their work to pay attention. Len looked around, hoping someone would follow after her, but no one did.

His stomach twisted, and he felt guilty having witnessed it, but not doing anything about it.

Len sat for a moment, waiting for her to come back, or something , before taking a deep breath and deciding to be the one to take the initiative. He excused himself for the bathroom and went out the same door Rin ran through minutes earlier, wandering down the hall in search of the girl.

Eventually he found her tucked underneath the staircase after following the sound of her sniffling. She looked surprised on seeing him, and hurried to wipe away her tears.

He stood there, staring at her forehead, before eventually clearing his throat and going, “Uh… um… are you… okay?”

It was the most ridiculous question to ask, given Rin was literally crying right in front of him, and he punched himself in the mouth mentally for not being at least an ounce more socially adept.

She didn’t seem to mind the foolish question, though. She sniffled, wiping at her nose with her sleeve. “Ah… Len. I’m sorry. I’m okay, just… a little stressed is all.” She gave him a watery smile in an attempt to lighten the mood.

Len glanced off to the side, fiddling with his sleeve. “I saw Luka getting mad up on stage.”

Rin winced, screwing up her face. “Yeah… she’s stressed, too.” She sighed. “I mean, it’s my fault for not remembering my lines, so…” Her voice wobbled a bit at that, and she sniffled again, tears gathering.

Oh boy. He didn’t want to make her cry more. “It’s okay,” he blurted out, as if those words alone would make the situation any better. “It’s not your fault. It can’t be helped. We’re only human.”

She smiled a bit. “Yeah. You’re right,” she said. “It’s just… a lot of pressure, you know? Being the main character. I can’t help but feel I’m not right for the role. Like Miku… well, she’s so much better at this than I am.”

“That’s not true,” Len blurted. Rin looked surprised, and so did he. He scratched at his neck. “Well, um, I dunno, when I watched your audition, I couldn’t stop thinking about how well you suited Odette. Like, Miku’s was good, but there was something yours had that… hers didn’t.”

Rin tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, looking down. Although she still seemed upset, she had calmed down a bit.

He continued, trying to fill in the awkward silence, “I think you can do it.”

She sniffled again, letting out a shaky laugh. “Thank you, Len,” she said. She hesitated a bit, before looking up at him. “And thank you for coming out to check on me. That’s… really kind of you.”

Len managed a smile, but couldn’t quite meet her eyes.

Rin wiped at her face again and fixed her hair, taking a breath. “Okay. Let’s go back.”

They walked back to the auditorium together in silence. Before they split off their separate ways, Len stopped her, fingers barely grazing the sleeve of her shirt.

“Um,” he fumbled, when she turned to look at him. “Good luck up there.”

The corners of her lips turned, and she held up her fists. “I’ll do my best.”

For the rest of the afternoon, Rin shone brilliantly on the stage, and Meiko threw a newspaper at Len’s head for getting distracted by her.

“Oh Len. You sly, sly dog,” Kaito said, having heard from Rin what happened the following day.

Len gave him a look. “Well, none of you were running out to check on her.”

His friend grinned, leaning against his desk and folding his arms over his chest. “That’s true, but honestly, she and I were both equally surprised you were the one to go after her. Rin was all, Oh, that Len! He’s nice once he gets over his shyness, isn’t he? ” Kaito tried his best Rin-voice impression.

Len groaned, leaning back in his chair. “Please never do that again.”

“What?” Kaito said, grinning. “ Talking like Rin? ”

“Stop!” Len threw a hand in his direction, and he caught it, using it as a weapon to whack Len in the face.

“Anyway, so, Rin wants to practice her lines with you and me so she can get Luka off her case. I think she likes you, hey.” Kaito winked.

Len snatched his hand back. “How am I supposed to help? I’m not even acting a part.”

“Yeah, but you always do a great job playing the other roles when we’re practicing. And you always drop good hints about my next lines when I forget, ‘cus you always have the lines to read off.”

Len propped his elbow on his desk and leaned his head against his hand, disinterested. “You could, uh, also do that with each other, though.”

“C’mon Len! If you refuse to practice, she’ll think you don’t like her and get sad. She’ll be all, Oh, how disappointing, Len doesn’t want to practice with me …” Kaito faked wiping a tear.

Len rolled his eyes. “If I agree to it, will you stop doing bad impressions of Rin?”

Kaito grinned. “Maybe.”

Len narrowed his eyes.

“Okay, yes. I will stop doing bad impressions of Rin to harass you.”

He sighed, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “Fine. I’ll practice with you two. Just this once, though.”

Kaito high-fived himself. “Hell yeah! I’m gonna go tell Rin.” Then he disappeared.

Len dropped his head on his desk with a loud thunk . He didn’t know how on earth he was going to do any sort of ‘effective’ practice with Rin around.

“Len, you’re supposed to be the evil Rothbart, not a mute teenager,” Kaito said.

They were at a park somewhat central to all their houses on a chilly Sunday morning. Kaito was stretched out on a bench, drinking juice, and Rin stood in front of Len, waiting for him to start taking his role as the villain somewhat seriously.

But… Len couldn’t. Not with Rin dressed in cute casual clothes like this. He’d never seen her without a uniform on, in all these years of attending the same high school… and, well, it was a lot to process.

“Let’s try again,” she said, a smile tugging at her lips. “You don’t have to be convincing. Just… enough is alright, Len.”

He scanned the lines on the page in front of him again and took a breath, giving a nod. He dropped the sheet to his side and cleared his throat. Then, in the best voice he could muster, he began—

“Oh dear Odette! That prince of yours will never love you back—for he has sworn his love to my daughter Odile!”

Kaito burst into laughter from the side, but Rin ignored him and went on to deliver her line. “No! That can’t be true!” she wailed, bringing her hands up to her face in shock.

Len quickly glanced at his lines, before raising his arms like he was, uh, conjuring some magical image, or something like that. “No, Odette… it is …”

Rin stared at the empty space between his arms, her eyebrows furrowing. “It can’t be…” she said, her hands dropping to her sides. “He doesn’t love me…”

It was at this moment, Len was supposed to laugh maniacally and say something else, but he became distracted by how convincing Rin’s acting was. He didn’t realise he was gawking at her until she waved her hand in front of his face.

He snapped back to reality. “S-sorry!” he blurted, scrambling for the next line. God, this was going to kill him. “Um—uh… n-now, you shall be my pretty swan forever…”

Rin then stifled a laugh, breaking character. “Kaito, I think Len has had enough of being Rothbart for now.”

Kaito snickered into his juice bottle, waving his hand. “Oh, he’s fine. I think you were pulling on his heartstrings a little, that’s all.”

Len’s face burned. He tossed his photocopy of the musical’s script at Kaito and took a seat next to him. “Whatever, can I take a break? You two have plenty of scenes to practice with each other.”

His friend rolled his eyes, getting up from the bench with a groan. “Yeah, yeah. Alright, Rin. Let’s start from Act 4 line 46, then. Len, can you help us with our lines?”

Len begrudgingly took the papers back from Kaito and shuffled through to find Act 4.

Oh.

Oh .

It was the act with the kissing scene.

Well.

Fuck you, Kaito.

They began with Rin dying by the lake, and Kaito running in after killing Rothbart. (Len was pretty sure in the original they were both supposed to die, but the school council was all, Noooo, we want a happy ending! )

He frowned as he watched Kaito embrace her and act dramatic, confessing his love to her—what he was guessing—dead body. Rin then rose from the dead and reached out to cup his face.

“Oh, my prince!” she said. “You came back for me… and the curse has been broken!”

Kaito then turned and looked at Len, mouthing the word line .

Len sighed, muttering his next lines. “Odette, I thought I lost you.”

Kaito repeated down to Rin, “Odette, I thought I lost you.”

Silence.

Len continued, “It was all my fault, mistaking you for that vile Odile.”

Kaito acted out the lines, then looked at him again.

Was he just doing this on purpose? He was doing it on purpose. This guy knew those lines, because Len had run over them with him at least a hundred times before. He wasn’t even looking at the script for reference anymore, because even he knew them.

“I could never love anyone else but you, Odette.”

The hint of a smirk tugged on Kaito’s lips as he repeated those lines down to Rin.

She stared up at him, as if he were a delicious slice of chocolate cake. “My prince…” she gasped.

Then it was the kiss scene.

Len averted his gaze as they leaned in for the kiss, signalling the end of the musical. He wanted to kick Kaito for this later.

A moment passed, and the pair stood up as if nothing ever happened, brushing the grass off their clothes.

“So, what do you think, Len?” Kaito asked with a shit-eating grin.

“You need to learn your lines,” Len deadpanned.

“You wanna practice with me? Kissy-kissy.” Kaito pursed his lips and leaned in. Len swatted him away, disgusted.

“It’s not a real kiss, of course,” Rin said, smiling. “Just a theatrical one.”

Len raised an eyebrow. “A theatrical one?”

She ushered Kaito over to demonstrate. “You know, this hand faces the audience. It hides our mouths. And this hand… well, I use my fingers as a blockade for our mouths.” She placed one hand flat on the side of his face, then the other on the opposite side, and pressed one thumb over Kaito’s mouth.

“Romantic, huh?” Kaito said through her thumb.

“Ew.” Rin dropped her hands to wipe them on her shorts. “I mean, as if they’d let people kiss on stage at school.”

“Huh,” was all Len said.

Kaito wiggled his eyebrows at him. “You wanna try?”

“With you? No thanks.”

“I mean, Rin might want to—”

“Also no thanks.”

“Ouch.”

Rin just laughed. “It’s alright,” she said. She tucked her hair back behind her ears. “Can we run over another scene? There’s this one in Act 2 I really need to work on… and Len, can you help out too?” She turned to Len and gave him a pleading look.

And, well, he really couldn’t say no.

“Okay…”

“Great! Well, I need you to pretend to be the other swan maidens in the lake…”

Len thought to himself, Oh boy.

The weeks continued to fly by. Soon, the musical was barely a month away.

Both Rin and Kaito seemed drained from countless practices. Len was going just fine, on the other hand; props were almost finished, and now they were finessing details (as Meiko liked to call it). A few times, they did some ‘unofficial’ full run-throughs as stagehands, but there was still a bit of work that had to be done.

When Len sat down next to Kaito for lunch, his friend turned to him and said with a straight face, “Miku and I made out yesterday.”

Len almost dumped his lunchbox’s contents on his lap. “You what? ”

“Yeah,” Kaito said, looking a tad dead inside. “It was weird.”

“Why?” Len asked, although that was a strange question to ask about kissing someone .

Kaito shrugged. “We were alone, and she was stressed, and we just started making out.”

Len found such a statement hard to imagine. We just started making out . Like, how the hell do you just start making out with someone? “So…?”

“I don’t even like Miku,” his friend moaned, dropping his head. “She’s too… I dunno, noisy? Not my type at all.”

Len couldn’t help but ask, “What is your type?”

Kaito tapped his chin in thought. “Hmm. Bossy. Cold. Could crush my head with her thighs.”

“So, like Meiko?”

Kaito tilted his head, squinting at the wall beside Len. “Eh, yeah. I guess so.”\

Len didn’t know what to do with this newfound information. He shovelled a dim sum into his mouth and chewed. “What are you going to do about Miku?” he asked.

Kaito groaned. “I don’t know. I don’t like turning people down and… I mean, I totally made out with her yesterday, so.”

Len went for the salad, saying, “I don’t make out with random girls on the regular, so I don’t have any advice to give you, sorry.”

“That’s alright,” Kaito said, putting his head in his hands. “I’ll figure it out.”

Len frowned at his friend, couldn’t help but feel concerned for him. The musical-induced exhaustion definitely was clouding his judgement (or he had some sort of attraction to Miku he was in denial about, but who knew).

He saw Rin in the hallway later that day, and she almost completely snubbed him, until realising at the last minute he’d walked past. She swung around and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him over by the wall.

It caught him off-guard, and he stuttered something of a hello.

She sighed, folding her arms over her chest. “Rehearsals have been taking it out of me. How are you doing, though?”

Len fidgeted with the collar of his shirt. “Prop work is far from as bad as your case is.”

“That’s good to hear.” Rin smiled. “How’s Kaito? He was a bit of a zombie yesterday.”

“Oh.” He recalled the conversation earlier, and the crisis Kaito seemed to be having. “Not so great,” he decided as the best answer.

She frowned, folding her arms over her chest. “He needs to take it easy. I was going to ask if you wanted to practice this weekend, but maybe we should let him rest…”

Len didn’t mind not practicing, because he’d been humiliated at least a million times during the past four practices they’d done. Of course it meant more time with Rin, but at what cost?

“Yeah, might be a good idea,” he agreed. Kaito would probably spend the weekend having a crisis about girls, anyway.

Rin dropped her arms to her sides. “Well, we’re almost there. Only four weeks to go!” She then waved goodbye and disappeared off down the hallway, into the mass of migrating students.

Len exhaled. Only four weeks to go .

Two weeks to go—that was when the accident happened.

Rehearsals had been slotted into lunchtimes to add extra practice, but Len usually didn’t have to go, so he spent a lot of his lunches by himself. He was enjoying his peace and quiet in the classroom, reading a manga and eating a sandwich, when the door clattered open and both Rin and Miku came running in looking like they’d run a marathon.

Rin stumbled over to his desk, breathless, and blurted, “Kaito’s going to hospital.”

Len dog-eared his book and looked up at her, not sure if he’d heard her right. “He’s going where?”

Miku appeared from behind, repeating, “The hospital. He’s going to the hospital.”

“He fell off the stage during rehearsal,” Rin continued, her eyes wide.

“His leg, like, snapped like uncooked spaghetti,” Miku added, the detail a little unnecessary.

Len finished his sandwich. “Is he alright?”

The girls exchanged looks with each other. “We don’t know, but the paramedics said he might’ve broken his leg. He just… landed on it in the wrong way, and it was awful,” Rin said. “Luka’s freaking out.”

What he wanted to know was, how the hell did Kaito fall off the stage? The guy wasn’t even clumsy, and yet, here he was, probably breaking his leg two weeks before the musical. What a clown.

“Oh,” Len said, unsure how to take the news. “Well, thanks for telling me.”

Miku was already distracted, telling another student about the incident, which signalled that whatever went down during practice would spread around the school like wildfire by the end of the day.

“No problem.” Rin’s eyebrows furrowed. “I’m just really worried. We’ll probably have an emergency meeting for it tomorrow, and for now this afternoon’s rehearsal has been called off, but…” She trailed off, chewing her lip with uncertainty.

“How did he fall off the stage?” Len asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

She shrugged her shoulders, the corners of her lips turning down. “I don’t really know. I guess he was really tired and just lost his balance… I wasn’t on stage at the time. I just heard him fall. It wasn’t good.”

“I wonder if he’ll be alright to do the musical,” he mused aloud.

Rin hung her head. “I hope he will,” she said. “But I have a feeling he won’t.”

That feeling was right. Kaito messaged Len that night to tell him, rather joyfully, that he had broken his ankle.

I’ll be at school nice and drugged up tomorrow! he added.

The next day, the emergency meeting for the theatre club was called after school. Although Len didn’t really have to attend it, being simply a stagehand, Kaito had dragged him along, asking for ‘moral support’.

“Do you really need moral support?” Len said, watching as his friend hobbled beside him on crutches.

“ Yes. It’s going to be hard to say goodbye to this role, you know. I’m going to need you to wipe away my tears.”

“Can’t you ask Miku to do that for you?”

“Len. Die ,” was Kaito’s harsh response.

They were the last ones to arrive at the auditorium, where most of the cast had gathered in a circle. Rin was chewing on her nails—something she tended to do when she was stressed—and Luka was pacing back and forth across the room, a frown etched into her lips.

Upon seeing that Kaito had arrived, Luka stopped and clapped her hands, drawing everyone’s attention to her.

“So, as you may know, Kaito has broken his ankle and has had to step down from his role from Siegfried,” she began. A shocked chatter rumbled through the group, and she cleared her throat, signalling for silence. “We had an understudy—Yuuma—but conveniently, he got the flu and won’t be able to take on the position.”

“Oh boy,” Kaito said, apparently having only just heard wind of this.

Luka pushed back her hair, exhaling. “So, now we don’t have anyone to play the role of Siegfried—and I’m trying to decide what to do next,” she said. “First, any questions, ideas, or concerns about this?”

Miku put up her hand. “Is the musical going to be cancelled?”

“No,” Luka answered. “But we may have to change things, if we can’t find someone to fill Kaito’s spot.”

People began to murmur, sharing their doubt for such a possibility.

“We only have two weeks,” someone said. “I don’t think we can find anyone else to play the role of Siegfried.”

Luka frowned. “Well, first, does anyone know someone who might be able to do Siegfried? Or does anyone think they can step up to the position?”

The room went silent. Everyone looked around at each other.

Then Kaito cleared his throat. “I know someone.”

Luka turned to him. “Who?”

He gestured to Len standing beside him. “This guy has essentially all my lines memorised.”

Len’s face went red as everyone’s eyes fell on him. Oh no. Oh no no no no no . “Kaito,” he hissed, panicking.

Luka seemed unconvinced, folding her arms over her chest and raising an eyebrow.

Kaito kept talking. “Len’s been practicing with Rin and me, helping us with our lines. I think he could pull it off. I forced him to make a band with me once in middle school, so I know he can sing.”

It was then Len wished for a hole to appear in the ground and swallow him up. What the hell was Kaito thinking? He did not want this at all.

Rin spoke up, much to his displeasure. “I think Len can do it too,” she said. “Like Kaito said, he already knows most—if not all—of Siegfried’s lines. So if anything, he would just have to learn the songs and his actions.”

Luka was slowly coming around, tapping her chin. “Hmm. Well. Anyone have another suggestion?” She scanned the group, waiting for another name to be called, but crickets chirped in response. “Okay. Let’s have a show of hands then. Who’s okay with Len taking the role of Siegfried?”

Kaito and Rin’s hands shot up. Then, slowly, one-by-one, other students began raising their hands, too. It was a good 80% of students voting in favour of him.

“It looks like Len’s our best bet, then,” Luka decided, after counting the number. She looked at Len, who was beside himself. “Well, Len. Is it alright if you take the role of Siegfried in place of Kaito?”

Len swallowed, a nervous sweat breaking out across his body. His eyes darted from Kaito, who was giving him a serious look, to Rin, who was basically pleading him with her eyes.

Oh God. Oh God. He hated disappointing people.

He found himself muttering, “Sure. Okay. Yes.”

Just like that, a sigh of relief seemed to wash across the theatre club.

Just like that, Len was going to be Siegfried.

Ah. Fuck.

Kaito tried his very best to convince Len he was capable of getting on stage and performing. Rin had even joined in, much to his surprise.

Len stared at the space above their heads, feeling as if he might puke.

“You’ll be fine, Len,” Kaito reassured. “Just think everyone in the audience is a potato.”

Rin nodded in agreement, her white bow bobbing up and down. “If you can get up and take on a role in front of me without even knowing the lines, you can get up in front of everyone else and be Siegfried.”

“But what happens if I forget my lines, or go off-key?” Len protested, looking pale.

“You just improvise, man,” Kaito said, as if it was the easiest answer ever. “You just keep going.”

“And Len,” Rin added, reaching out to grab his hands. She looked him in the eyes and his stomach did a somersault. “I’ll be up there with you, so don’t worry. If something happens, I’ll help you out if I can.”

His chest went warm and fuzzy. God, why did she have so much influence over him?

Len’s eyebrows furrowed. “I just… I don’t know if I can do it.”

Both Rin and Kaito yelled in his face, “You can!”

“You just have to believe in yourself,” Kaito said, hitting his own chest with a fist.

Rin nodded. “We’re all nervous going up there. But think of it as a fun challenge! You’re not being Len on stage. You’re being Siegfried.”

“Anyway, we should get on with practicing,” Kaito said, holding up his script. “We only have a week and a bit to go. Luka’s going to lose her mind if you show up next week with no clue what to do.”

Len whined as a complaint, but nevertheless, obliged.

Of course, Rin and Kaito were nice enough to spend essentially their entire weekend at the park helping him catch up, even going as far to teach him the dance moves and lyrics, and explain stage cues. Len was just absolutely terrified of getting up in front of hundreds of people to sing a solo song. Even doing such a thing in front of Rin now seemed like child’s play.

While Kaito hobbled off to the bathroom later in the day, they took a drink break.

Rin turned to Len and admitted, “You know what? I’m really glad you were chosen to fill in for Kaito.”

Len’s eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Really? Why?”

She smiled down at her bottle of green tea she bought from the vending machine. “Well, Yuuma’s cool and all, but I feel more at ease when acting with you and Kaito. I’m glad it wasn’t someone else. You know, since it’s such an intimate role.”

Ah. Right. “Oh,” Len said. He was happy to hear that, and a smile inched its way onto his lips. Hearing that she felt comfortable around him was… somewhat relieving to his anxiety over what she thought of him. “Thank you.”

Rin looked up at him, beaming. Her face glowed under the afternoon light, and her blue eyes glittered like stars. He couldn’t help but stare.

Kaito returned, appearing from behind them. “Oh, you two look nice and comfortable. Guess we’re ready for Act 4, huh?” he joked.

Len grabbed one of his crutches, threatening to take it from his grasp. “Don’t test me, disabled man.”

Kaito pulled a face.

“We still need to do Act 3, first,” Rin said, not quite catching the joke—or perhaps just ignoring it. “It’s the longest one, so Len needs lots of practice.”

“Alright, alright.” Kaito waved his hand. “Let’s keep going, then.”

The following week went by in the blink of an eye. Len was exhausted and busy every day, rehearsing and doing costume try-ons and so on and so forth. By the end of the week, he almost didn’t care anymore, he was so tired.

Most of Len’s costumes consisted of safety pins, considering Kaito was both taller and larger than him in size. It was always a struggle getting in and out of the costumes, which made costume changes much more dire in between scenes.

Luka seemed somewhat satisfied with what he could do, though, which was a relief to both him and Kaito. (Although, his dancing left much to be desired.) “It’s not perfect,” she said in regards to his performance, “but it’s better than nothing at all.”

He tried to take it as a compliment.

Soon, they were doing their last dress rehearsal, two days before the show.

Kaito came up to him after the rehearsal, having sat and watched part of it. “How do you feel, Siegfried?” he asked, swinging an arm over his shoulders.

“Like I might have explosive diarrhea on the day,” Len answered.

“Oh yeah,” Kaito said with a nod. “It be like that sometimes.” He gave him a rough pat on the back. “You’ll be fine though. Do it for the theatrical kiss with Rin.”

Len could only roll his eyes.

Finally, the day of the performance came. According to Rin, who was chewing on her nails backstage, the auditorium was packed full. Len’s knees turned weak, and he sunk down on the ground beside her.

Rin put a hand on his shoulder. “You’ll do great, my prince,” she said, giving a wink, before getting dragged off by one of the stagehands.

His insides melted like butter. A part of him still couldn’t get it around his head that this was happening.

Kaito appeared with his crutches, hopping over to give him a last minute pep talk. Mostly, he just rattled off with bullshit.

“Just don’t look at the audience’s faces. That’s what always throws me off,” he told him.

“Will try not to,” Len said through grit teeth.

“ Or you can try finding my face, in which I’ll blow you kisses.”

“That’s great to hear, Kai.”

Kaito grinned, checking the time on his watch. “Well, I should go now. But hey. Break a leg, alright?” He gave him a thumbs up. “Just not literally, otherwise you’ll end up like me.”

Len frowned at him. “You better not have jinxed me.”

Kaito ignored him and left, leaving Len to try his best not to throw up.

Soon, the music for the opening began to play.

three…

two…

one

It’s showtime!

The adrenaline rush kept Len going, somehow, through the entire musical. He made mistakes, sure, but the show went on. The lights were bright and blinding, and at times he was just lost up on the wide, empty stage. Yet, he did it all. He managed to make it to the end.

He realised this as he was leaning over Rin, her chest rising and falling, her eyelids fluttering.

“Odette…” he whispered, a cue for Rin to ‘awaken’.

She stirred, sitting up, meeting his eyes. She looked different with makeup on, under the heavy stage lights. It wasn’t bad; it made her look older, sharper, more adult than a girl. She smiled at him, and he wasn’t sure if it was her acting, or actually genuine.

Rin reached out to cup his face, hands warm and clammy. He didn’t mind. “Oh, my prince!” she said. “You came back for me… and the curse has been broken.”

Len’s heart was beating so hard against his rib cage, like it might leap out of his chest. He wondered if she could hear it. “I thought I lost you,” he breathed. “It was all my fault, mistaking you for that vile Odile.”

She shook her head, the feathers in her hair dancing in the air around her head.

He took a breath. “I could never love anyone else but you…” Her name danced on the tip of his tongue, and he swallowed it back. “…Odette.”

Rin gazed up at him. Her eyes were dark underneath all the makeup. He didn’t know what was going through her mind at that moment. “My prince…” she whispered.

She leaned in for the ‘kiss’ and he followed, expecting for it to go as it did in their practice. But for some reason, she didn’t place her thumb over his lips. She just went straight in , and their lips mashed together, and his eyes almost flew open in shock at the contact.

Of course, Len managed to keep his composure—just barely—reminding himself to push through until the curtains dropped in front of them, and the audience burst into applause.

Once they were no longer in view, Rin jumped away from him like he was on fire, her skin bright red down to her neck. “Oh my god,” she whispered, covering her face with her hands. “I’m so sorry. I totally forgot to move my thumb.”

Len’s mouth was still warm from hers. The stage around them was spinning a little. “It’s… fine,” he managed to get out.

The stagehands began ushering them off-stage before they could talk more, preparing them for the curtain call.

He didn’t have any time after that to speak with Rin about the kiss. Once they were finished with the curtain call, she was whisked away by a crowd of underclassmen congratulating her and giving her flowers for her last show. It was only now that he realised how popular she was.

Kaito found him amongst the crowd, holding his hand up for a high-five. “You did it!” he said. “My little Lenny has grown up.”

“Please never call me that again,” Len said with a groan.

Kaito ignored him. “What’s that on your mouth?”

“Huh?” Len wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. It was red lipstick. From Rin’s lips. “Oh.”

Kaito raised his eyebrows. “Speaking of which, that kiss with Rin on stage seemed awfully… realistic. ”

Len laughed nervously at that. “Yeah… well…”

His friend leaned in, his eyes going wide. “Wait, it was real?”

“It was an accident,” Len said. His face was hot.

Kaito’s jaw went slack. “Oh my god. You…”

Len shushed him. “It’s not that big of a deal. It was an accident . Rin forgot to put her thumb in the way so we just… you know…”

“She forgot to put her thumb in the way, huh,” Kaito said, narrowing his eyes and stroking his chin. “She never forgot with me.”

Len shrugged. “Maybe she was nervous, or something, I don’t know. I didn’t get to talk to her about it much.”

Kaito hummed in thought. There was a mischievous glint in his eye. “Well, I’m sure you’ll get a chance to talk to her about it at dinner tonight.”

“There's dinner?” Len echoed.

“Uh, yeah, we always do dinner. Didn’t anyone tell you?”

“No…”

“Oh, well. We’re having dinner at a yakiniku restaurant. Wanna come?”

“I guess?”

Kaito winked. “More time with Rin, too.”

Len blushed, then elbowed his friend in the stomach. “I wish you’d shut up sometimes,” he muttered, before walking off to get out of costume.

As they were taking the train to the yakiniku restaurant Luka had booked, Miku wriggled her way in between Len and Kaito.

“Len actually did pretty well up there!” she said. “I was surprised.”

“That’s a bit rude,” Kaito said down to her with a frown.

“What?” Miku batted her eyelashes innocently. “It’s his first time performing! I was sort of expecting something to go terribly wrong.”

Kaito rolled his eyes. “Well, of course Len did great. He’s like a closet superstar.”

Len snorted. “I’m anything but that, Kai.”

Miku pouted. “I’m not trying to be mean! You don’t think I’m being rude, do you, Len?”

He shrugged his shoulders.

“See? He agrees with me!”

“He didn’t even give you a verbal answer, Miku,” Kaito said.

She folded her arms over her chest, puffing out her cheeks.

Rin turned, having overheard their conversation. “What’s going on?” she asked.

“We were just discussing Len’s total owning of the stage,” Kaito answered. “And Miku’s being a bitch.”

“I’m not!” Miku cried, indignant.

Rin giggled. “Len did really well, despite the circumstances,” she said. She kept her eyes on Miku and Kaito, avoiding meeting Len’s gaze “Who knew the quiet boy could brew such a storm?”

“He was just saving it up. Huh, Len?” Kaito looked at him.

Len mustered a smile. “I hope I never have to do that again,” was all he could respond with.

Everyone aww-ed in disappointment, and Kaito poked him with one of his crutches. “Nah. You loved it. It was the best experience you’ve ever had.”

“It was the most distressing experience I’ve had,” Len corrected.

Their train pulled up at their stop, and they filed out of the carriage, following Luka’s lead. The walk to the restaurant was around ten minutes, and everyone had moved on to another conversation with each other. Kaito was bickering with Miku, who seemed awfully touchy-feely with him.

Hmm , Len thought.

He didn’t mind the moment of quiet, though, as he tagged behind the group. It was weighing down on him—now that the adrenalin rush had finished—how goddamn exhausted he was. He couldn’t wait to have a bath and crawl into bed.

At the restaurant, Len took a seat between Kaito and another girl—Gumi—who played as one of the swan princesses. He hadn’t talked to her much before, but she seemed friendly. Across from him was Gakupo—who played Rothbart, Miki—who played another swan princess, and Piko—who was Seigfried’s best friend. He’d managed to get to know Gakupo and Piko through his role a little bit—they were okay.

Alas, Rin was at a separate table, along with Luka, Meiko and Miku (which was, perhaps, not entirely a bad thing).

So much for having the chance to talk to her about what happened on stage, though.

Although it was hard to organise a group of like, thirteen rowdy teenagers, eventually they sorted their orders for drinks and food. Everyone was busy chatting, and Len was just sitting there, staring at the empty table in front of him. Sometimes Kaito would try to drag him into his conversation with Miku, mainly asking for him to give his two cents in their argument, but eventually he would just… fade out of existence again.

When their drinks came, they made a toast.

Luka did the honours, being the club president. “Well, despite one of our leads breaking an ankle two weeks before our show, I guess we did pretty well,” she said, narrowing her eyes at Kaito, who wore a proud expression. “Thanks to Len being able to pull through and play the role in Kaito’s place. Thanks to everyone else, too, for all your hard work and cooperation for the past semester. It’s been an honour being your club president.” It was now she looked a bit teary.

(Len didn’t realise the theatre club was such a big thing to her… but, well.)

“So, a toast to our theatre club! Well done everyone, and good luck with finals next semester!”

Everyone held up their glasses.

“Cheers!”

After that was done, came the wait for food. Len took that as a chance to escape and get a breath of fresh air (he was getting a little claustrophobic, sandwiched between Kaito and Gumi). He excused himself to the bathroom, then slipped outside, unnoticed.

Len glanced at the time, making sure he didn’t spend too long outside that people came looking. He crouched down on the curb, breathing in the freezing, late-winter air.

There were footsteps behind him not long after he’d been outside, and he turned, expecting Kaito to have followed him out. But much to his surprise (and pleasure), it was Rin.

She tucked her hair behind her ears. “Mind if I join?” she asked.

Len nodded, the words getting caught in his throat.

Rin sat down beside him with a sigh. Her shoulder bumped against his, and his heart fluttered. “Are you feeling alright?” she asked, glancing at him. She’d wiped most of her makeup off, returning that familiar softness to her features.

“Yeah,” he croaked, before clearing his throat. “Just needed some air. It was a bit crowded, is all.”

“Yeah,” she agreed in an exhale. “The exhaustion sort of hits you around now.”

Len hummed in response. “I don’t know if I can get up off the ground, to be honest. My legs are killing me.”

Rin chuckled. “It’s all that dancing.”

“I didn’t know I had to use so many muscles for that.”

“Yeah,” she said. “Comes easy to me, having done ballet and all.”

Rin then leaned against him, her head lowering to his shoulder. He stiffened at first, then relaxed—although, all the skin she was touching was on fire.

“Still exhausted, though,” she mumbled.

“You did amazing,” he said.

Rin’s hand fluttered down to his thigh. It was hot through the fabric of his jeans. His heartbeat picked up, hammering against his chest as his mind went reeling. He didn’t know what was going on.

“You did amazing, too,” she said back, a smile in her voice.

Len wanted to disagree with that statement, but instead, decided to shut up for once. He settled for a quiet, “Thank you.”

He wondered if she could hear his heart, beating so loud. God, she could definitely hear his heart.

She then said, “I’m sorry about the kiss at the end, though.”

“Oh, um,” he fumbled. “It’s fine, I… it took me by surprise, but…” It was good. I wanted you to kiss me more.

“It took me by surprise, too,” Rin said with a laugh. “I almost broke character there on stage.”

Len laughed with her. “I was confused for a moment, thought your thumb was oddly soft,” he admitted.

“Oh, you’re telling me my thumb doesn’t feel like a kiss?” she jested. “Rude.”

They chuckled together, before a beat of silence passed. Then Rin said, “You caught me off-guard up there, Len.”

He raised an eyebrow. “I did?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Your acting was… really good.”

Len stared straight ahead at the vending machine across the road, illuminating the darkness. He knew Rin could hear his heart. Her hand was still on his thigh, and her head still resting on his shoulder. The gentle smiles and the fact that she was sitting here, out in the cold with him, and not inside with the others.

He didn’t want to get ahead of himself, and yet…

Something inside just told him to go for it. Maybe he was reaching a state of over-exhaustion and his brain wasn’t functioning properly, but to heck with it.

“It wasn’t acting,” he whispered, the words difficult to get out.

Rin lifted her head to look at him, going, “Hmm?”

Len swallowed, mustering up the courage to try again. “It wasn’t acting,” he repeated. Once they were out, it was like a heavy weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

She gazed at him, confusion first crossing her face, then consideration, then realisation. Her eyes went wide, her lips parting.

For a split second, he wondered, with terror, if he’d gotten it wrong. If he’d mistaken all her gestures for something they weren’t. If she was about to break his heart, then and there, in the most awkward situation ever.

But then Rin’s lips curled up into a smile. She leaned in close, her forehead touching his.

“Do you want to… try again?” she whispered. “But this time, not just an accident.”

Len didn’t answer. Instead, he leaned in, lips brushing against hers. She reciprocated, pressing back hard against his mouth. A hand reached up to grab the collar of his shirt, curling into a fist. The other still rested on his thigh, fingers pressing down into his skin.

He reached for her shoulders, then up to her neck, the sides of her face. He tangled his fingers in her hair, pulling her closer, drawing on her warmth.

Someone coughed from behind. Startled, they both jumped away from each other and turned to see Meiko.

She folded her arms over her chest and raised an eyebrow. “Sorry to interrupt,” she said, in a tone that wasn’t very apologetic, “but everyone’s wondering where you two went, so unless you want to have to explain to them in detail what you were just doing, you should probably come inside.”

Rin cleared her throat, flustered. “S-sorry Meiko,” she stuttered.

Meiko just shook her head at them, before walking back into the restaurant.

Rin looked at Len. She exhaled and shrugged her shoulders. “We should probably go back.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, breathless.

She leaned in again to peck him on the lips once more before standing up, dusting off her clothes. She held out a hand for him, and he grabbed it, pulling him up.

Together, with faces red like stop signs, they walked back into the restaurant and took their seats, acting as if nothing ever happened.

When they were saying goodbye later that evening and going their separate ways, Rin kissed him again, right in front of Kaito.

Kaito gasped. “Excuse me,” he said, holding up a hand. They pulled away to look at him. “When did this happen?”

Rin looked at Len, smiling, and Len shrugged. “Like, two hours ago,” he said.

Kaito put a hand to his chest. “And you didn’t tell me, your best friend? I’m offended.”

“Well, you know now,” Len said.

Kaito sniffled, pretending to wipe away a tear, before he dropped his hand and grinned. “It’s about time!”

Len rolled his eyes, but Rin laughed, leaning into his shoulder. “Can you let us kiss in peace, please?”

“What, you didn’t get enough time on stage?”

“Kai! Away!” Len shooed him, and the boy left, cackling to himself.

Rin shook her head. “I think those painkillers are ramping him up a little, or maybe it’s just because I’m tired.”

“Definitely the painkillers,” Len said.

She reached down for his hand and squeezed it. Her fingers were cold, like ice. Her expression turned serious as she looked up at him from under her lashes. “So… does this mean we’re dating?”

He gazed at her face a moment, surprised she'd even bothered asking the question. “Well, I hope so,” he said.

A grin started to fight its way onto her lips, her shoulders sagging with relief. “Me too.”

Len reached up to brush some hair out of her eyes. “You wanna do something fun during spring vacation? Like see a movie, or go bowling or something.”

“Yeah,” Rin said, beaming. “I’d like to do something.”

“It’s a date, then,” he said.

Then they leaned in for another kiss.

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