fanart i drew of sam winchester dying in a glue trap.

such fun how everyone can see Mike's treatment of Will for what it is (not healthy friendship, dismissive, etc.) but still scream about how cute Lucas and Max are. such fun.

Grace my love!! Have you watched the new sidemen Sunday?? I’m an hour in, any thoughts if you have???

Hey Buzzy Bae! (hope I'm okay to call u that :) )

Saw this come in ystrdy but was only about 10 mins in and wanted to give you a good answer so I've let it marinate and watched so that I am now also about 1 hour into the video

Hmmmmmmm very very interesting Sidemen Sunday, this one... I'll list down a bunch of rando thoughts n u evaluate them with me and give your own opinions also

For reference, this is the Sidemen Sunday of the week:

SO! Thoughts:

Simon always hits so well whenever he's host - moresidemen, main channel sidemen, he's honestly really good at filling in all those little gaps in conversation and he's quite quick-witted with his jokes, and I think that might be to do with the fact that he loves Stephen Tries and Beta Squad, British-type humour and he's done really well with emulating that type of humour in a way that fits his vibe

Ah, I love seeing Deji in Sidemen videos! He's such a sweetie, looks and acts like a big teddy bear which I love for him. I feel like he's such boyfriend material, like, he's so cutesy and honestly kinda fine, like, why does nobody else SEE THIS SHIT!!! Would be the best hugger, so funny + positive, absolute listener, so real with you... Ugh, need his energy in my life

ANOTHER VIK + HARRY TEAM DUO! These two together give me LIFE! I feel like Harry just loves tryna bond with Vik because whilst Vik is so so so intellectually smart, Harry is so practically smart and that bright sort of person that balances out Vik so well. Like, Vik studies theory and Harry knows how to do it practically, is their duo's vibes.

Also about Harry + Vik - I am (haven't watched the full vid but currently they're dead last) ROOTING for this team to win. They have chemistry, they have effort, I know damn well Harry's a good cook... Idk, this team j gets me smiling most, I wanna see them succeed

Ethan and Tobi duo is more interesting. Generally I think these team/duo works really well together because Ethan's hilarious and Tobi laughs a lot + they j vibe like that and it's fun to see! This vid though, Ethan's more stresso about the cooking aspect bc obvi he wants to win and he's come across (so far) as a little whiney and complaining... Tbh, Ethan's whining does get on my nerves a touch, but in the end I end up sympathising + feeling worse for Ethan bc i know SDMN fans CANNOT empathise w Ethan's stress or shouting or however he reacts and then they bully him? Like, Sidemen fans see one thing they don't like and they just will not shut up about it. We saw this about the colleague's thing, how ppl started hating on Ethan- calling him insensitive and ungrateful for calling the boys "colleagues", as if the fans weren't practically agreeing with him prior when they made their comments of "Sidemen feels overproduced, we prefer the old videos where it's just banter between the boys", like, Hello??????? Dunno if this point made sense but summary: Ethan's complaining mildly pisses me off but I actually feel bad for him instead of annoyed, because I know fans will have a go at him for complaining + take things wayyyyy too serious.

And oh deary dear, JJ and Deji?? I love love love these boys on their own but in a weird way why are they so jarring on a team together? I feel like Ethan and Deji would've worked rly well, maybe Tobi and JJ on a team instead? JJ always acts so unhappy to be with his brother and it kinda reminded me of 2017-2020 beef between Dej and JJ. Like, JJ was just being mean and telling Deji to fuck off, that he's useless... But they're both at the same competency level?? Like, sure, Deji isn't really competence, but JJ is no better (even though apparently his omlettes are delicious). I feel as though JJ always takes place as Sidemen's greatest wally/idiot asw, and having Deji there means that JJ cannot be the biggest oblivious-one there, but he doesn't know how to fit in other than that... And so he takes on the character or the persona of a bully/just being mean to Deji, but (at least in my opinion) it feels really jarring and sort of uncomfortable to watch. I don't think this is a very popular opinion that I have either- maybe I'm just deeping it, or maybe I'm just projecting my own experience onto others.

Slightly more lighthearted note asw, I thought Kimberly (Special masterchef guest!) looked a lot like Faith which was quite funny lol. Like the American version of Faith :D

Right, very long, very waffle-y...

What are your thoughts? Agree, disagree, think I've read any situations entirely wrong? Tell me your thoughts in the comments or post a letter through the inbox n ill reply sooner or later :)

Thanks for asking, Buzzy, hope you're having a good one! <33

cracker island track by track review

'review' used very loosely. These R the thoughts of a tipsy scouser

got too long so it's hidden; it is mainly critical tbh not because Im negative or mean its just my track by track thoughts and on sound alone this (2 me) was the weakest album they've ever put out

cracker island: if it came on in a club I would dance to it but I don't know if Id be having a great time. The song feels way more redundant than it might actually be because there's only like 1 melody in it. The instrumental melody & the vocals r the same. So IDK it's like. Its definitely technically a song. But it's like the bare minimum of a song

oil: I wish if any of the songs on this album broke from the popsynth fake drums mold it would be this one. The thing about Stevie Nicks is I don't listen to fleetwood mac at all but her voice is so unique and captivating. It crushes me like an anvil on my head that they didn't even let her sing on her own + kept her to a secondary harmony the whole time. This more than any of the other songs would have benefitted from real instruments IMO. The up a perfect fourth down a perfect third hook is catchy & that pattern can't fail it sounds good nomatter what.

the tired influencer: at this point in the album Im starting to wonder why they even bother with the characters playing instruments anymore cos what did noodle do on this album. There's like no guitar at all on the album. All the bass is synth bass. The characters' function in the band/story is getting less & less relevant to the music it annoys me. IDK this song is boring 2 me. Its like if the Fall was overproduced and had nothing 2 say

silent running: this song has always since it came out felt half finished. It's like the basis of a song that's not done IDK I feel like it's missing a component that might make it feel whole. The feature could have been deleted and the song would be the exact same; something I notice about the features on this album except Bootie brown & bad bunny is that they're extremely underutilized to the point where they might not have even been there. Like ur featuring an artist to do a background harmony??? Maybe this song will feel more done & real when I hear the piano version

new gold: 1 of the better ones on the album for me completely because of Bootie brown. Even though they took a rapper who is so strong and good even (especially) live and put his voice through 100million filters and dampened his skill completely. The live version of this one is how I wish it sounded on the album cos the energy of Bootie's part in that saves this song; timing is kind of cool but it's not like. New in any way.

baby queen: if they had changed the presentation of each instrumental in this song they could have made it an 80s synthpop genre piece like aries that would have been 4x better. I wish it wasn't so so so so so so boring to me. It just sounds like all the other songs on the album IG it feels like a filler song to me. Even just better/less smooth tone/effects on the synth wld have been something but suppose not

tarantula: it's catchy but it feels low effort. The lyrics r dumb IDK how else to put it not that they're inherently stupid but they're dumbed down. Compared to sum of their earlier more 'romantic' minded lyrics like every planet + some of the stuff off plastic beach, "if ur good for me and Im good for u then that's all I need in my life" sounds like a 2014 pop lyric geared towards the 11-16 age demographic u feel. Lyrically they've dumbed down their shit so much

tormenta: fine I guess. It's mid reggaeton that's too produced and smooth to even dance to. If it came on in a club compared to most other bad bunny songs I've heard not even the bad bunny fans would dance. It's like. Too slow to be what the only things going for it would suggest it is. The little synth break at around like 2:40 is the prettiest thing in the song to me I wish maybe they had leaned more towards that for tone instead of trying for something the song is just not

skinny ape: the third better song on the album. In terms of like well these are better than the rest. Like it's this new gold and oil I think. Maybe this is the song that feels the most comfortable in what it is. It sounds exactly like 2012 radio pop in the self proclaimed "alternative" genre like grouplove an shit. Like it sounds like 1 song in particular but I cant remember what it is and its driving me fucking mental. Something about it is likeable even though the lyrics are so fucking dumb I wanna tear my ears off. U are not a cartoon G damon u are an embarrassing middle aged geezer

possession island: like if Idaho kind of forgot its poignancy. But there's something really beautiful about the first minute of it. Maybe this is actually one of the better ones too. The further Im getting into it the more Im liking it. I don't see why beck had to be there. It's like the plague of this album they feature someone to literally sing backup. Anyway the further I get in this song the more I like it I think it's my favourite song on this album probably. OK goodbye

addendum: if I listened 2 any of these songs coked out of my mind they'd probably sound fine so maybe I should just save this album 4 those circumstances

butchered tongues is some of the best lyrically, it’s not a banger by any means but it’s poetry and it’s extremely meaningful. and anything but is a fun cheeky little sing a long song that i feel sounds one of the most classically hozier songs on the album that is otherwise overproduced to the point it’s not his classic style anymore, which is fine and allowed but still, different. i’m genuinely shocked you think those two deserve to be chopped!

oh, all songs on unreal unearth are beautiful lyrically, i'm not even gonna pretend otherwise! butchered tongue is especially interesting to me thematically (people writing about their cultures is fascinating to me), but lately i've been paying more attention to the vocals/production rather than the lyrics, so that may be why it still hasn't Clicked for me (same with to someone from a warm climate etc etc). i think my main issue with this album is that it's not really consistent throughout? like i said, it starts with two of the best songs he's ever written and ends with some gorgeous tracks that feel new and fresh (abstract -> unknown / nth -> first light might be one of my favourite track runs from him idk), with pretty average tracks in the middle there. obviously, he had a concept to follow, so he couldn't just move anything but, who we are and butchered tongue around to make the album feel a little less high-low-high, so i'm not really mad... it just means i don't really have the urge to listen to the album in order!

ANOTHER ONE SINCE YOU LIKED THE GRASSROOTS

Achilles Come Down by Gang Of Youths :3

couldn’t finish it | not my thing | it’s fine | I could get into this | ooo I like | oh hell yeah | fuck this is some good shit | there aren’t even words, this transcends words 

when it started with cello I was so damn excited and I do capital L Love the instrumentals and the melody too, really, the thing that's keeping me off it is his singing, it's not a bad voice by any means, just idk how to describe it, it's like if a Calvin Klein model was a voice? it might actually be that it's overproduced which is so common these days, like everything is too smooth or he just sounds like that idk, it doesn't do anything for me. but like I said I really like the song just not the singing.

If I typed a live review of my spotify discover would you read it? Too late- (Indie-rock/pop, punk, ???, mid-west emo, math-rock,etc Be warned I am a hater about some petty shit lmao)

Carousel- CJ the X 

This song is beautifully produced, the melody of “everything will be alright” sounding just slightly off kilter and perfectly fits the teetering vibes of the song. I love the carnival vibe- lyrics flow so effortlessly. The RUNS BRO. Really perfect window into a probably fucked up breakdown. Hope things got better CJ <3 “I don’t blame anybody but me/ You’re too kind, I am a disease!” oof.

A big brown dog named bagel- Nep

“I kind of wanted to bite-” I love the incorporation of bossa grooves into this indie rock, gay as hell love song. “I feel like we’re gonna marry way too quickly” This feeling. Really cute. Vocals are so sweet- you just kind of want to scoop the vocalist up and hug her. 

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE DOWN - QUEEF JERKY, ethan is online

The best of the worst or the worst of the best? The beat switch up had me actually grooving- good shit. "Go to the zoo and see some fish."

Spirit Week- happy trendy

So cozy, comfy, fuzzy. Whenever I hear fuzzy vocals it feels like my ears are being hugged idk why. Sad but in a kind of melancholy optimist way? If that makes sense. Chords got a little tired by the end but I forgive all sins for fuzzzzzzzz

Glow- Alice Phoebe lou 

Aussie vocals perhaps? "When you were dreaming, I looked in. I saw everything." What a sweet, dizzy tune. Sounds like getting drunk in a carpeted room that looks like it’s from the 70s. “I’m a lover, just never knew how” Relatable. Vocalist has this really nice vibrato that reminds me of judy garland or ella fitzgerald, such a nice warm tone. Lots of hug songs in here. I’m a lover of this one. C:

Wasteland- wooded fang

Surf rock type of vibe? Feels like something I’d listen to as the sun sets on a long car trip- about to have a delirious few hours outside of time. I cannot fathom my man’s lyrics but he’s got such a relaxed delivery it’s real fun. Good vibe. "dododododododododo"

Feelin down- primrose

Drum good. Fr the production/recording on these drums is so nice. I feel like im sitting in the drummers lap but in a comfy way- like the rest of the song is absolutely great also but man.. I appreciate the work that went into getting these drums so nice. Also love the moments where the band stops. Love a stop. Satisfying. Ngl the vocals are nice but I wish he’d put a lil more OOmf in it y’know? Just like SEND IT.

 I Fade Away- Tulips Ballad, M.E, CAT DAD

The high vocals really made this for me, just came in and I was like aaah yeah. Then together?? Lovely. Such nice harmonies. Only wish there was a little less repetition but Idk that might just be me listening too hard rn lmao. I like the more subtle production bits but like, the main guitar loop doesn’t have much movement and it left me a lil like… what if you did more? Bass good. I like the piano but what if.. different chord?

Grade A- Spill Tab, JAWNY

I… might be getting fatigued from listening to all this stuff but these chords at the end feel like the same as the last song bro I’m a lil disappointed. It’s just so quick and so… clean? In a bad way? Lmao I think it feels overproduced to me. So many production decisions that don’t feel like they serve the song and only a couple that really feel earned. (cheated and gave it a second listen because I felt kind of bad about having mostly negative comments. Both the vocalists are great and the quality of production is real nice, I just think the producer needed to pull back a bit and let the vocalists do their thing, y'know?)

Only At Your Convenience- Graham Kartna

Big Jack Stauber energy.. Perhaps… too much Jack Stauber energy? I can’t tell if this was a deliberate attempt to emulate the style as an experiment or not. The drowned chords, the vocals that jump down suddenly, all the little cartoon samples. OK I had a look and he’s def got a voice and a sound this song just happens to REALLY sound like it’s going for a Jack Stauber vibe, most of his other stuff is similarly drowned and sample heavy but like… distinct enough that I wouldn’t think to associate the two- it’s literally just this song so he is forgiven in my eyes. Peace and love on planet earth. Honestly I’d forgive him emulating Jack really hard too I mean fuck it man do what satisfies ya. (gave this a second listen and idk why I thought it was so close actually this is good and fine.)

easy - waveform*

Oh! I’ve def heard this one before, love the big warm acoustic guitar+sad vocal. Gay and cute. “I’m on the stairs in a beautiful gown, and you look so stupid your teeth on the ground.” Love the imagery in these lyrics. 

Diane- Dad feels, Yelle 

Holy fuck I hate this man. I haven’t listened to the song yet I’m just like- before I make any comment you have to know I’m severely biased against him lmao He sucks he makes me incredibly uncomfortable to watch. ANYWAY presses play hm. Ok. wow. BAD. First song of his I’ve ever listened to and holy fuck. Worse than I thought. Nothing to like about this. It's so low effort. I’m just trying desperately to tune this trash out while I wait for the next song. Holy fuck. OH THANK GOD

Kill your radio- Heartsrevolution

Cute! Feels like something that would play in a scene while a stereotypical girly character beats the shit out of someone. Is that insane? Idk man. maybe I’m just thinking about violence because of dad. It’s fuzzy. The guitars and vocals got that sweet high fuzz on them. This toes the line for me of being like slightly over produced also but I think it’s just my taste. 

Becky- Be Your Own Pet

I’ve heard this one too! It’s just such an edgy teenage hatred song. Just real petty and fun to yell along to. Love the story and the little moments where the band all yells BECKY AAAAA. Good shit. 

Dark matter- Little Big League 

Oh such a sweet sleepy vocal with nostalgic guitars. Love the way the main vocal kind of leans around the notes, feels so effortless. The slight edge in the tone is used so sparingly but so well, such a cool voice. Oh man!! Sorry band you’re great too I just love these vocals!!! I want more growls but I’m feral for growls- the way that tone is used so sparingly to great effect is lovely. 

Better Go- Mel blum 

Familiar with this one too. Just a really catchy, chill tune. Love the stops and little rhythm guitar moments. “Guess I ain’t using my body anyway.” Yeah. Solid tune fr. Love the floaty vibe of the vocals.

Random Firl -Late Of The Pier

Glanced at the band bio and apparently the band formed when they were 16/17 which is cute. They haven’t released anything in a long while but I wanna believe they’re all still friends. Feels like a song I’d have played on repeat in 2015 when I was in a Smallpools phase. The vocal harmonies are very sweet, such a nice wall of sound. Left me wanting more!! AA

You Make me smile- Mamalarky

This squishy bass is fun. Another soft, floaty voice- I guess Spotify is recommending all of these because I listened to so much Stella Donnelly last year. Really like the structure of this song, the way that the synths swell and fall again to make room for the guitar and piano… Just really cool vibes. Love that blending of synth and ‘real’ instrument. Yeah. Just kind of vibing here. Adding this one to my likes for sure. I feel like what sets this apart from some of the others is that the instrumentation is interesting and thick without drowning or outshining the vocals which is hard as heck to do right!!

IDC- carpetgarden 

First few lines are like. Damn. Yeah. Lyrics are heavy but in a fuck this kind of way. Their vocals are so sweet and yet kind of bored sounding? Genuinely really like the vibes. There’s a great energy to the guitars that makes you wanna dance around, real sad but happy at the same time. Kind of song I’d listen to while on the way somewhere to get myself in a good mood lmao. “Worms in my brain and my eyes are full of daisies, My body’s melting and it feels a-fuckin’-mazing” 

Wicca Kids- Pacific Purgatory

This song is underwater! Pull it out!! AAA! Fr tho it’s so muffled it feels like I’m listening through a wall. Kind of a vibe? I do kind of want it a little less muddy tho. I really like the vocals- feels like they’re hiding I wanna drag them out to the front of the mix. This is prob intentional. It is nice, I’m just making grabby hands at all the high frequencies rn. Baby come back. 

Vampire- Lupin

The shades in that title and song name. Chefs kiss. These vocals are great, confident and straight shooting. They cut through really well. Oh no wonder I like this, he’s the vocalist from hippo campus. Solid song. Not super my current taste but it’s definitely hitting every ball it’s trying to hit… if you get me. Knows what it’s about. 

You’re Terrific - LoudFoxCult 

I love the way the two vocals play off each other. This came out in 2018, real cute highschool indie rock vibe and yet- like way better than you’d expect from a highschool indie band so like.. Yeah. Terrific, even.

Scott Pilgrim- Plumtree

Omg I love Plumtree. Punk girls from the 90s kickin ass. I love this band. This is a great song, I like In The Sink better tho. The main lick is super catchy though I can see why this is their most listened to.  “I’ve liked you for a thousand years” Repeated over and over and over because yeah dude I’ve liked you FOREVER. 

WasteUrTime- Kevin Walkman

Bassline hits. Licking my fingers baby this shit tastes GOOOOOD am I going insane? Idk man this song just has a really satisfying groove going, vocalist has a great laidback tone. Feels perfect for the vibe of the lyrics. Horny songs gotta have a goood bass line and y’know. This one did it. 

brittle (wake up)- Meltycannon

I know this band but can't place them. Really love the grunge/hiphop vibes??

When You Are Not Around- The Band Ice Cream

Breakup song if ever I heard one, “I like you more, when you are not around.” Angry and mean in a satisfying way, feels like a diary entry I wrote about an ex. Just like- raw and unfair amounts of bitterness, you know? Kind of shit you’d never actually say. Well idk maybe you would. I’m only mean in my diary tho. Mostly. Cough. “I don’t fucking care if it hurts you” 

How Could You Ever Think I Hated You?- Cloning

HAHA opposite vibes completely and holy shit a band from perth!!! The aussie accent feels so comfy to me in music mwa. Feels lik the accent is almost going american in parts- maybe that’s just the Perth accent tho idk any perthians. Jumpscared by the stop in the middle of the song lmao i was like NOO. Guitars are lovely, feels like a real lived-in sound. Love the vibe

Meet me in Montauk- Retirement Party

“Had a head so big it sank into the ground.” The noodles in the guitar always make my heart happy- very midwest emo. Just a very cozy angsty song. This is the type of music that turns my brain to like nostalgic goo. “I’m not sure if i don’t believe in a God or if he doesn’t believe in me” - something my 11 year old self would cry about fr. I love how raw and unornamented the vocals are- it’s a mark of the genre for sure but it just makes the lyrics hit even harder. 

I Dropped Out- And The Kids

Feels like I’ve heard this one a thousand times and yet it’s not in my likes. The vocals are swimmin' in reverb and they’re just- asufghdsuigifih I Love The Dreamy-ness. The “I went to graduation" line coming back with altered timing/tone always hits so good idk it’s such a simple thing but with the force of the band crescendo behind it- it’s like. Fuck yeah, you did!

Been thinking- Fishing In japan

SO laid back, these lyrics flow so naturally- the vocals sound half asleep in the best way. Solid band. Nothing really stands out to me more than the silly sleepy vocals which are a very good vibe, kind of wish the guitars were played a little less straight to emphasise the drag of the vocals. It’d be different song. Better? Maybe? But this song is nice too. 

And that’s all wowweeeee

there's something about the "work is necessary and also good actually" argument levi is trying to make but goddamn does she suck at it, like, so incredibly so, it's embarrassing

like the thing is those premises can be true while it also being true that much of labor is actually bullshit and not part of the labor that is good or the labor that is necessary. and that usually work fetishism spirals into protestant work ethic/soviet forced labor/ayn rand shit, and more importantly anti disability bullshit

there's more shit fetishists in the world than i wish i knew about but they still aren't enough to run a sewer system and that's a job that's not going away under socialism or communism or anarchist libertarian whatever the fuck. And that's not the only job like that - there's a reason we pay doctors, lawyers, and the like so much. Yes CEOs and shit are grossly overpaid but so much real work is tedious, stressful, uncreative, complicated shit just barely functioning as is. And like yes we're overproducing food thanks to a few miracles in agriculture technology (that actually have some really deleterous effects on the environment but that's here nor there) but also that every world economy is ***really focused on making that happen right now.***

And like have you ever really compared the things you do as a job versus the things you do for hobbies? Or tried to turn a hobby into a side hustle? It's just... night and day the rate at which things get done when you have deadlines vs when you can just blow it off to play a game. And I still can't actually wish "turn your hobby into a career" on anyone because of how soul killing that is.

People aren't going to do the necessary things just because they want to. That doesn't make "don't work? then starve" moral or even per se necessary. But like, it's the Maoists and Polpotists and iirc Suharto's regime also? and such who took the attitude that being a doctor was just a function of how people spent their time and shit. It's not an inherently insano tankie position to be like "maybe we should incentivize labor"

But even more psychologically, there is a kind of a fundamental... something, Dasein, idk - to being able to contribute to society according to your ability. It's several orders of downriver polluting from that that you arrive at work is good. But it's not work, per se, it's not the capitalist material conditions or the communist material conditions or whatever that makes it good. The blood on you hands in fact makes it bad. The necessity of it makes it bad.

But like altruism at its core is one of those things that make us human. Not that rats don't try to untangle each other, but humans take it to an extreme not seen in the paleological record or whatever. It's the expression of that, even if it's somewhat symbolic and abstract that is Being Human; that is, living according to our nature, in the way Diogenes wouldn't have appreciated but would have recognized as following his logic to eudaimonia.

Like take this

there's a charge that gays don't contribute to the next generation, therefore they're parasites. But that isn't true even under that reasoning; we work, we pay taxes, we take care of family by babysitting or being their for our siblings or parents, we create demand and therefore jobs for food, housing, entertainment, all the needs. Even the non-humans like the penguins can adopt orphaned eggs, or perform actions benefitting the group and their genes indirectly. Like, I mean, most ants you meet are infertile, let alone questions of gay or straight or whatever.

Disabled folks run the gamut of abilities. Like as cringe as the euphemism might be for some, differently abled is meaningful in its own ways. And from that the logic that makes gays something nature has repeatedly 'evolved' applies as well. Disabled people create demand, and from their own abilities the physically but non-mentally impaired frequently contribute especially to the arts and hobbies - entertainment, stuff we need to lessen the impacts of stress, etc.

If nothing else they create someone to love. In a capitalist framework that means little, sure. But like

that whole altruism is human thing? the most human thing about it is when bones started showing up in the fossil record of people who survived injuries that left them completely disabled or bones old enough that their abilities to contribute to society through menial labor or what not fell away long before their death.

sabes que, "actualization is important" o cualquiera

going all "work is a virtue in and of itself" is cosmically missing the point; it's what that work is an expression of. Altruism.

like maybe it's a me thing? I had a cat not too long ago. I was taking developmental psychology stuff in conjunction to linguistics and a lack of siblings or cousins being the right age at the time led me to thinking of her during exercises and shit. So not only was I attached to her, I let some part of my brain get *really way far too* attached to her. Then she died at the age of 2 from cancer. And now my brain is pretty broken. And like, I kept trying to think of the things that made her special to me and such. Like it's true she was an easy cat who'd let you move her when necessary and she was good. But at the end of the day I have to face that she was just a cat. She didn't really have time to really show a special personality. She didn't "do" anything except be there for me to feed treats to or give toys. She didn't "mean" anything in this goddamn world except what she meant to me. So like maybe there's a fucking existentialism argument based in all of this

like the material conditions blah blah blah. the value of food is very low when you're on hospice. the value of food is how much you want it. maybe the fucking basics of supply and demand under scarcity follow from that! maybe it doesn't and the value of labor is nothing. Maybe "someone needs to work" is dependent on the subject of that predicate! idk

it's certainly an empirical problem that other people are rating people's abilities to do things. Like, you don't feel what they feel! You don't know their thoughts or life histories or prejudices or empirical limitations of their doctors! fuck anyone legislating you into position!

maybe there's a real fucking systemic injustice that people are even allowed to, let alone how they're required to, do something they're empirically incapable of doing!

Maybe that's a sign that the system needs to be destroyed? But then who would dole out welfare at all? Maybe that's a sign that system needs reform? Only to be legislated right back into place by the deluded people who Do Not Understand What It Fundamentally Means To Be Human

Maybe it's a complicated, complicated problem that needs to rank and value many "competing access needs" or whatever you call this kind of payoff matrix where lots of people lose no matter what gets normalized.

Here's my go: Disability Protections > right to food, shelter, and the minimum needs required to Work On Your Mental Shit > necessary work > work people do to thrive or whatever > etc

i guess the best society i can imagine that would be sustainable as I understand world needs at the moment would guarantee everyone at least a living wage with people like farmers, doctors, sewer workers, etc earning enough to afford reasonable luxuries others can't afford, and empower people who like working or what to turn their hobbies (whether that's underwater basket weaving, fashion for poodles, making videogames, or like architecture or linguistics or teaching or whatever) into something serious, living somewhere in the middle.

at the very least if you read this rambling, disorganized rant i hope at least you take away that This Is Actually A Complicated Problem And Not Just Some Commie Being A Dumb Asshole Again

you fished, now you gotta fillet it lmao

3. What's your all time favorite kpop song?

7. What's your favorite music video?

20. What's your all time favorite concept by a group/idol?

26. What's your least favorite music video?

29. What's your top 3 senior groups/idols?

3. What's your all time favorite kpop song?

After some deep thinking, I think it might be Astro's Crazy Sexy Cool. I always came back to this song before I finally dived head first into the group many years later after I first heard of the song and group. It just sticks in your mind.

7. What's your favorite music video?

Mamamoo's Starry Night.... like woah, that shit was BEAUTIFUL.

ALSO ONF's Beautiful Beautiful really made me feel like I was in their universe. So to me they are my favorite in terms of favorite use of cgi in a kpop mv.

20. What's your all time favorite concept by a group/idol?

I answered this one here!

BUT I do have another one I would love to talk about which may be a bit of an unpopular opinion because of how overused the concept is,, but I really love retro/funky concepts. My main example of this is SHINee's 1 of 1. It's the bright colors, nostalgia, fun, and instant smiles for me. Some other examples that came to mind is Triple H's Retro Future, Mamamoo's Dingga, Seventeen's HOME;RUN, etc.

26. What's your least favorite music video?

... Huta's BOOM.

OKAY BEFORE ANYONE COMES FOR ME,, lemme explain. I love Huta, and I like BOOM as a song. It's just because overall the mv lacks something imo?? Idk maybe I'm so used to overproduced mvs by this point that it makes this mv seem boring and I'm so used to Huta being half naked on main that even when he undressed in the mv it was a bit anticlimactic. Also the choreo is really restrained and toned down so I don't think that helped much either

Huta, I love you, I promise. I still watch the mv everyday.

29. What's your top 3 senior groups/idols?

Hmmm,, if we talking 1st and 2nd gen idols then I would choose: BoA, TVXQ (especially UKNOW Yunho), and SHINee

send me kpop asks from this list!

Okay okay okay okay look. I’m not saying I won’t like it more later or even that I don’t like it at all now buttttt uh mhmm I got very strong high school musical vibes shhsjsjd this song might be on a Disney channel original straight to TV movie but like … ya know.. its… charming? It’s cute. It’s a little on the nose. It’s a little life goes on but for kids 🎈👶🎉🎊💜 but like idk maybe I’ll love it. It IS already in my head after one listen —🐮 anon

yeah, i'm currently not a fan of the song 🤷🏽‍♀️it sounds perfectly pleasant, but i'm really underwhelmed. felt overproduced and had too much unnecessary autotune, which means it'll fit right in on american radio. which, honestly, is likely what they're going for, but when people who don't need all that stuff because they actually are talented change their sound to fit amongst the masses who aren't on their level...sigh.

maybe i'll feel differently the more i listen to it, but as of now, this isn't one i'll be seeking out 😢

This might sound kinda stupid but I defo moisturise more after wearing a mask because wearing one sort of in-balances the oils on my face. Like normally I have oily skin but it makes my skin a bit dry and it causes me to get spots because of the lack of consistency. Idk if this made any sense

nono i get it, your skin is trying to compensate the loss of moisture by overproducing oil and it gives you pimples. my question is wouldn’t moisturising after wearing a mask lock in all the humidity and bacteria that may have grown in there and give you even more pimples? or is the humidity good bc it means more moisture?

i'm laying in bed, waiting for muscle relaxers to kick in so i can sleep (still convalescing from a pinched sciatic nerve), and trying to formulate a coherent line of thought about FFVIIR, the odd relationship it has with the OG, and how it relates to modern fandom.

my own relationship with FF has shifted so dramatically over even just the last ten years. it's wild to look back on this blog and see what's changed. i guess i was once what you might have called a hardline traditionalist, and now i have a much more charitable way of viewing things.

the way i feel about FFVII hasn't changed much. it's still my favorite FF, for a number of reasons- objective critical analysis, nostalgic feelings, and deeply personal life experiences among them. i don't quite view it as a sacred cow, no FF game fits that description for me personally... but VII is probably the one that comes closest. it's not just a story that i hold dear, it's a story that i dearly wish to be properly experienced and understood. especially now- in 2021, there may be no FF story more relevant and vital than FFVII's.

i have so many problems with Remake. putting aside the fact that it's gutless in precisely the ways the OG was so biting, it fails on a conceptual level as a Remake... because it isn't one. it's ultimately a continuation, a self-congratulatory return to the Compilation of FFVII. prior knowledge is not an optional bonus, it is compulsory to understand the game's entire back half. "arrogant" doesn't even begin to describe it.

but- and this is where the charity comes in- i know so many people for whom VIIR is a special game. younger people, in some cases, who really only cut their Final Fantasy teeth on FFXV, but older ones, too, who never ventured into FF before now. i've heard the same story a few times: FFVIIR was their introduction to FFVII because the original game was too inaccessible, too difficult to play, or simply too intimidating. whatever their reason, for better or worse, VIIR was their introduction to the game. and their love for it was not diminished by the fact that they hadn't ever played the original.

i've been trying to reconcile that in my mind. it bothers me, naturally. to know that an entire generation is being introduced to this story i love so dearly, but as a bastardized, sanitized, overproduced Disneyland version of itself, is heartbreaking. it makes me want to shake them by the shoulders and shout. "the original game is still there! you can still play it! it's as beautiful and poignant and necessary and true as it was in 1997, and at times it may challenge you in ways you are not used to, but damn it, we need to be challenged sometimes!"

but lately, i think, what does this accomplish? what is gained, by telling new fans that they're not engaging with FFVII properly? who benefits from me insisting FFVIIR fans aren't doing fandom the right way, according to my own standards? nothing but my ego, i guess.

i still think it's important to view things with a critical eye and not be afraid to speak on what a piece of media does poorly. but it's hard line to walk- it's hard for me, personally, to disentangle my bias from my criticism, and to remove my personal feelings from the equation where fans are concerned.

that, and lately i think that the OG FFVII is not really the kind of game a person can engage with before they're ready. it can't be forced- and once they've started, the understanding can't be faked. they'll get it, or they won't. maybe the new fans who started with VIIR will come to the OG when they're ready. maybe they never will be, and VIIR will form a complete experience for them.

new fans have to find their own way. it may not be the same as mine. maybe that's for the best. it's not quite a case of "let people enjoy things", more like "some people aren't ready yet and a sermon is not likely to change their mind"

idk i think my muscle relaxers have kicked in and now im just rambling incoherently

// MY TAKE ON MANDO BODY LANGUAGE BC IM BORED AND I HAVE NAMED MYSELF THE AUTHORITY ON THIS TOPIC SIMPLY BECAUSE I CAN

so this is gonna focus on the helmet movements bc im fascinated by how they evolved to replace facial expressions. and this is really going to reveal how much i overthink mandos but its fine, this is fine

DIRECT VISOR CONTACT -- since mandos have their eyes obscured, eye-contact is NOT a part of their social interactions. its very normal for two mandos to talk without looking at each other, opting to look at an object of their shared attention instead (if possible). there’s no point in constantly observing someone’s helmet since it doesn’t change at all (unlike human faces that go thru 20 different microexpressions in like one sentence), it’s enough to keep it in the general field of vision to catch possible movements of it. 

this is why direct eye/visor contact can mean a lot in itself, because it’s not a given in every conversation. some possible meanings ive concocted:

when a mando turns to look at a person it’s usually to show that they’re paying attention, it’s a sign of “yes, i’m listening/still following”. 

emphasis -- when something important is being said, turning your head to look at your listener is a way of underlining it. it’s a way of summoning the attention back, “listen to me, what i’m saying now is important”.

asking/promises/oaths -- contracts are very sacred to mandalorians and because of their given importance, every request/promise will be punctuated by the direct visor contact

the above examples are gestures that function in the same way as a nod would, a short little gesture that sustains a conversation or sprinkles on some emphasis. in a conversation, mandos usually look somewhere else, look back at the person they’re talking to, continue looking at something else. these short moments of “eye-contacts” are the norm. and the opposite is...

SUSTAINED VISOR CONTACT -- mandalorians do not look away from a potential source of threat if they can help it. not looking away from a person means they’re either assessing the danger or anticipating an attack. it’s not a neutral gesture. mandalorians are VERY distrusting of the galaxy at large and will treat most of people they encounter on their journey as potential threat. this is the famous cold mandalorian stare people usually associate with them. to be fair, it’s not inherently hostile in itself, what it really is saying is “you won’t surprise me, i’m watching you.”  

SUSTAINED THEN BROKEN VISOR CONTACT -- now this one’s funny because if a mando watches you for a long while and suddenly returns to the usual mando behavior (starts looking away etc), it means they either decided you’re trustworthy enough or just Not Dangerous At All. the thin line between those two meanings (one positive, one insulting) is VERY hard to discern for non-mandos, but mandos can immediately tell the difference. 

this has to be said tho, if a mando continues to stare at you, its just kinda scary. who knows what might be going on behind that helmet. this is part of the reason why people Dont Like Them, its just very hard to read their Intentions... are they watching you because they dont trust you or are they perceiving you as a threat and therefore getting ready to swing??? WHO KNOWS.

when it comes to social interactions, mandos are generally very movement-focused. they’re more likely to notice changes in body language (their version of body language tho, doesnt apply to facial expressions) than, idk, changes in tone. most gestures that mandos perform are sort of  overproduced bc the armor hides the more subtle movements (i mean. it is heavy). therefore if they do gesture, they make sure it will be seen

like, for example, a sudden approach. the easiest way to telegraph a Challenge is to simply step (the fuck) up (, kyle). if a mando gets in someone’s personal space they are saying “you’re wrong and i’m right, i’m so right that i am willing to throw down to prove my point”. notice how stepping up ENSURES visor-to-visor contact, forcing the confrontation which is not the neutral norm for mandos. its like asking to be considered a threat in this very moment.

and then there’s a WIDE variety of subtle helmet movements that evolved to telegraph certain sentiments. these are very hard for non-mandos to read, but a mando will see another mando tilt their helmet 45 degrees to the left and know they’re communicating amusement. some examples i like to write: 

frequent head tilting with sustained visor contact = “still assessing if you’re a potential threat or not, i have to look at this from every angle” 

quick head tilt to one side, return to the previous position = basically a shrug, its just easier to shrug with a helmet than with fully armored shoulders. 

tilting the helmet up, raising the chin part up = goading, practically telling the other person to “swing first”. necks are generally unprotected which makes them very vulnerable and exposing it to someone else is basically saying “go for it because i don’t think you’re a threat at all”

that’s all i can think of right now, this was a very demented post to write but i stand by it <3

long post oops 

Small thing unrelated to my blog but dang I used to have a lot of acne on my face and on my back, chest, and shoulders, the truly painful kind. Plus really irritated and inflamed scalp. I did a lot of the at-home DIY tricks you might see online (you know the ones with all sorts of kitchen ingredients... Lemon, baking soda, vinegar, coconut oil, sugar scrubs --all of which I have learned from a professional are actually HORRIBLE for your skin DO NOT USE THEM-- and all sorts of other ingredients like egg, avocado, honey, aloe vera, other oils, etc) and ofc none of that stuff worked.

Anyway after finally seeing a dermatologist instead of Pinterest, esthetitians, and herbalists it was discovered I have seborrheic eczema on my face, scalp, neck, chest, and upper back. My dry irritated inflamed skin was desperately trying to overproduce oil, and anytime I tried to "control" the oil I just made the dryness worse, which made the oil worse, which made more acne and inflammation.

After medication (a VERY gentle face wash followed by hydrocortisone 2.5% for my face, Hibiclens antiseptic wash for my back followed by clindamycin sodium, and a medicated shampoo followed by fluocinonide for my scalp) it took about two weeks for it to clear up, and things have been consistently clear, smooth, and healthy for almost three years now. I sometimes get one or two pimples on my chin or cheek right before my period, but it clears in about a week.

The ONLY time I've broken out and been painfully inflamed again has been when I listen to someone's annoying ass tell me I "shouldn't use medication" and should "OnLy UsE NaTuRaL StUfF" even from experienced herbalists, I've literally tried it all. Don't come near my face with any of it. Same with make up, I don't usually use it because it usually makes me break out, and I have yet to meet/see a make-up artist who doesn't struggle to control the same result. I often just do my eyebrows, eyes, and lips and just leave the rest bare, it's THAT clear now.. (except on my period if I get those couple of pimples I mentioned, in which case I'll put a dot of concealer directly in the pimple lol). 

Idk why I'm sharing this. I had a follow up yesterday with my dermatologist, and the smoothness and clearness of my own skin was bizarre when I actually stopped to compare it to the past. I guess maybe the point is... If you've tried everything, maybe it's time to see a professional if you can afford it? Because after all the struggling and embarrassment and literal pain, the fact that medication helped so quickly was honestly a little frustrating lol wish I had gone sooner. And if medication works oh my god please just ignore people who aren't medical professionals trying to tell you you have to get off of it. Here are pics from my Instagram I guess?? They show my face, shoulders, chest, and back, all of which used to have acne...only one of them has make-up on my eyebrows + blush, no foundation on any of these. 

once again we’re in full agreement lol. What’s your take on s3 remakes you’ve watched? Wondering how you feel about Skam FR as it’s kind of a similar situation to me where the chemistry & beauty is there but the writing and style is iffy (overwrought &overdramatic). My favorite s3 is druck. As a wlw I had high hopes for españa but it was p slow/v desexualized—a whole discussion, but my other gay friend & I were disappointed given how remakes with guys don’t hold back in that respect.. Thoughts?

Honestly re: wtfock tho I really do wonder if they had like one good writer in the room surrounded by fools. Bc it really does feel like some group projects I’ve been in where I feel like I’m the only one who’s not a fucking fool and carry the whole thing while having to fend off bad ideas (but when the majority rules, those bad ideas/execution get put in). I wonder if that’s what happened w wtfock.

re: wtfock, lol group projects are the worst….idk what wtfock’s writing process was like, but i’d love to know it. according to their wiki there were 3 writers this season? all seem to be male, naturally. did the two other writers have good ideas but there was a main writer who overruled them and did his own thing? or maybe they’re the rl one brain cell squad, that would explain a lot :p in any case, i’m unimpressed (friday’s clips did not help with that).

as for the other part of your ask….oh damn i have so many Thoughts on that, lol. this is probably gonna get long and messy, but you asked for it!

* druck - my absolute favorite. it’s the only one i’ve watched since s1, so that definitely played a part in my emotional investment and attachment. still, there was more to it than that. it was the closest to og imo in vibe and style (it felt small, real, lowkey, quiet, natural like og, as opposed to - as you said - overwrought and overdramatic + overproduced like the others); they cast an actual trans guy to play a trans character, if you wanna talk about a skam remake doing something REVOLUTIONARY? druck is the one; i loved matteo’s and david’s characterizations, how they both had a bit of isak and even in them, and the role reversal in some scenes, made things feel fresh *and* fit their characters/story; i LOVE that teens matteo and david were played by actual teens michi and lukas!! they’ve completely ruined me for all other remakes, bc thissssss is how it’s supposed to be! thisssss is how it should look like! THEY ARE KIDDOS. and they (druck and michi/lukas) truly captured what it’s like to be young and fall in love for the first time, the awkwardness and the nervousness and stuttering and fumbling around, the softness and pureness and innocence of it all!!! also they have THE BEST dynamic - other people might prefer all the hot kissing and steamy making out and the smouldering looks, but me? i just couldn’t get enough of their dumb chaotic energy, best friends who love each other deeply and are also constantly little shits to one another. gimme them pranking each other and playfighting every day! and then being soft and THE HANDS and matteo being a clingy koala basking in david’s affection :3 i also loved how for the most part they didn’t just copy/paste og’s storyline, they made some changes and knew how to make *other* changes accordingly for it to make sense and fit the story *they* were telling - for example, replacing the ‘call your gf’ scene with matteo’s panic attack/breakdown (one of my fave scenes), or their reunion at the end of ep 7 (replacing the desperate kissing + sex with a comforting and relieved yet also bittersweet and melancholic hug), or even matteo getting advice from his drug dealer instead of the school’s doctor, lol. also THE BEST BOY SQUAD, hands down. and matteo is my favorite isak bc to me he felt like his own character instead of just another isak, he was different and reletable and a constant Mood. that being said - it wasn’t perfect and it had its issues. there were a few times when i did feel they stuck too close to og scenes and it didn’t *entirely* work for me, just felt a bit off; i will forever be disappointed that they didn’t directly address and acknowledge matteo’s mental state/depression, bc there were enough signs imo to indicate that he did suffer from something. they mentioned ‘therapy’ in mia’s, alex’s and kiki’s cases, i truly thought they would with matteo as well, but alas, they dropped the ball on that one; i was extremely upset with david’s outing, but i’ve since calmed down and have managed to see it in a more positive light, tho i still have mixed feelings about it and am not fully on board with that decision, still wish it had been done differently (but at least! it wasn’t brushed off and was addressed immediately and eventually led to david having agency and yelling out his pain!!! which was good and important and cathartic); also eps 8 and 9 were pretty messy writing-wise, things either didn’t make sense or would’ve made more sense had the clips were organized differently (that random ping pong clip….?). overall tho, the good outweighed the bad, and it remains my fave

* skam france - now that’s a tricky one. the way i felt about it in the first half of the season, is different from the way i felt about it in the second half of the season, is different from the way i feel about ever since watching druck’s s3. it’s funny you should say how similar it is to wtfock for you, bc i’ve been thinking the same thing for quite some time. those neighboring countries sure have a shared flair for the dramatic! fr’s s3 was pretty much the first s3 i watched (i gif-watched half of skamit, couldn’t get into it). i wasn’t planning to (i was extremely unimpressed by the couple of s1 eps i tried watching, and same by axel’s acting in those first two seasons), but even is the loml and they got me gooood with their eliott pov trailer, which might have affected my excitement over it during the first half. back then i really enjoyed it for the most part, despite some clips being rushed or missing the point thus not fully having the required effect (their locker room scene, for example, or the ‘generalizations are bad’ convo), or how much i hated basile (a character so obviously written by a man it’s amazing), or the cheesy piano music. there were enough good things for me to focus on instead (more in a bit) that i could ignore the things i didn’t like or weren’t as good imo. however, all the positivity got sucked out of me when yann noped tf out after lucas came out to him bc WAY TO MISS THE POINT OF SKAM!!! and things went downhill after the director’s IT’S NOT DISNEYLAND IT’S FRANCE 2019 comment. i’m getting all upset just thinking about it, but to say *that*, to explain that horrendous decision bc lowkey homophobic reactions are realistic!!! only to THEN be all ‘haha jk yann isn’t homophobic! we just wanted you to *think* he was! he’s actually an awesome friend who took several days to reflect on all his past wrongdoings while his bff was at home having a nervous breakdown bc he believed his bff hated him!’ ughhhhhhhhh, miss me with that shit. great that they had yann apologizing for his past comments, but the way in which it was done was for pure shock value and angst, completely ooc for his character (all season he was all ‘tell me tell me tell me let me help let me help let me help’ only to do *that*?? nahh), and interesting how out of everyone the only black character was the only one with a negative reaction (remind you of anyone), highlighted even more during ep 7 aka the ott lucas coming out tour. then ep 8, that should have been 100% all lucas and eliott and building up to eliott’s manic episode suddenly had that weird random pov changing clip in the middle of it which truly wtf, basile was still basile, lucas thanked chloe for outing him, more scenes felt rushed, they had sex in school where people could come and go in front of huge windows in broad daylight and luckily didn’t get poisoned from licking all that paint! and i did not like the flatshare, i absolutely hated mika and lisa kicking lucas out of his room - which he pays rent for! - and manon not even trying to put up a fight, and them being like ‘roommate isn’t just a place, it’s a way of living. that’s a family, and you’re more like a cousin.’ ‘a second cousin.’ ughhhhhh and then when eliott was recovering from his depressive episode, they *still* didn’t give lucas his room back or at least let eliott stay there, he was sleeping on the couch, i’m aldjlajdafj. can’t believe i’m gonna say it, but TAKE NOTES FROM WTFOCK. tl;dr there were some good moments in the second half, but i was feeling bitter more often than not about certain things, so my enjoyment wasn’t as high as when it first started. and after watching druck, druck’s brand is definitely much more my style. plus, i was already struggling with making myself believe axel and maxence were in their teens, but after druck it’s completely impossible, so i just pretend they’re in college or something lol. all my issues with it aside, i’d still rate it higher than wtfock, bc overall the writing was better, more coherent, and made much more sense. i also liked lucas’ friendship with the girls; i loved that instead of copying the underwater kiss + 21:21 like some others have, they came up with their own thing i.e. polaris, which i thought was lovely; the lucas/manon crying in the middle of the night together in front of the tv was one of my fave scenes of the season; also love how we were introduced to eliott on the first week! and they spent time together! and specifically the piano playing scene, ohhhh; and in general elu are sweet and i reeeeally like axel and maxence and their friendship. so yeah, it had some major issues, but i’d rather have a coherent story with something done for shock value and drama ONCE than an incoherent story with several shock value moments.

* skam espana - sorry to hear you girls were disappointed! i only watched half of it, so i can only comment on what i saw. i decided to binge watch s1 and give s2 a shot when i heard they were giving cris isak’s story - it felt a bit weird to me, but it was also something different and new, and i did have an appreciation for their decision to have a wlw season (also much more revolutionary to me than showing a gay bashing), so i was intrigued and willing to try it. sadly i didn’t really vibe with s1? it’s totally a personal preference i think, maybe even a cultural thing idk, but it felt very fast and loud and hectic to me, idrk how to explain it. i was just more into the chill more lowkey vibe of druck and skamnl. but i still gave s2 a shot, and idk, it still wasn’t my cup of tea. i thought it was ok for the most part, but there were some things that bothered me - joana/cris felt underdeveloped to me? and things b/w them felt like they were moving so fast from the second they met, like jona was so intense and forward ALL THE TIME, they had like 6 almost kisses in a really short time, like shhh slow down. i remember disliking their ‘call your gf’ scene, it felt really petty and kinda mean to me? bc i felt like joana came on to cris *really* strongly and *very* frequently, so cris was more than entitled to feel hurt and betrayed when she found out joana had a bf, but then cris was kissing a dude and joana positioned herself and her bf in front of cris so she’d see them kissing too, and i just didn’t like bc seriously?? cris is valid, just apologize to her and explain?? idr much else tbh, they had some really cute and sweet scenes afterwards, i’m still against doing the underwater kiss + 21:21 so i was kinda meh about that (tho aesthetically speaking it was BEAUTIFUL, and i’m like, fiiiiine girls deserve an underwater kiss too, i’ll allow it just this once!), and that cuddling clip in ep 6 i think was sweet and the last one i watched. like i said, i was less vibing with this remake, and iirc it was going on during druck’s s3 and skamnl’s s2 - which were my faves, plus skamfr was on too i think and i was lowkey following it too, so….there was just too much all at once and something had to go, and it was skamesp. it was also around the time when panaphobia-gate happened, so *shrugs* i’m not wlw myself so your opinion on it being desexualized is probably more valid than mine? i just know when i did watch, there was a lot of kissing and making out and being cute and touchy with each other, so i thought it was ok? as i’ve mentioned before, i don’t need to see a naked butt or anything like that to *get* it lol, i thought they were lovely! but that’s just me. i will say that my faaaave part was most definitely the cris/amira friendship. they were so wonderful! one of the best skam friendships imo. i might one day go back and finish the season just for the heck of it, but they didn’t do anything major or highly offensive that made me have negative feelings towards it, it was just a personal preference + circumstances (too many remakes!) that made me be less into it and drop it before the end.

IT’S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR AGAIN! 

Yes I know, I died for a bit but I’m back for release week! And as a blog tradition, here’s my messy reaction of Night & Day: Day Edition

Just My Type

Initial reaction: SICKEST BASSLINE. i love that i could actually hear the guitars. love the breakdown in the prechorus with the claps

Full listen: a really strong lead single - sick beat and shows maturity with the lyrics. EXCITED TO SING ALONG TO THIS ON TOUR. 

there’s a girl still on repeat plays in my mind won’t let me sleep

Hair Too Long

Initial reaction: love all the bg vocals. catchy af. bit surprised with the second verse but i love it especially love the ‘it might seem cruel’ part bc holy vocals

Full listen: i fucking love this song. idk what this was (promo single or what) but it deserved better 

i don’t wanna be this cold shivering into my bones someone reset my soul

Talk Later

Initial reaction: that beat omg. THE HOTEL LOBBY SONG!!!! love how it builds up and you expect a huge bass drop but its a pretty chill chorus. also very cheeky. wait why is there a piano out of nowhere????

Full listen: though the lyrics are a bit cheeky i really love how this was written. also how can you not love that beat???? one of my favs for sure

i get confused, putting labels on things makes them complicated

Too Good To Be True

Initial reaction: my boy serving vocals. a bit overproduced. mgk’s verse surprisingly fits the song

Full listen: idk why they had to rearrange the verses on the album version though it threw me off a bit but yes i love it

I’m hung on your words give me something to believe in

For You

Initial reaction: WHAT. SAM SMITH VIBES W THAT PIANO. OHMYGODDDD WHATTTT???? LOVE THAT CHOIR LIKE CHORUS. HIGH NOTES HELLO!!!  AND THOSE LYRICS GIRLLLLL MY HEART IS BURSTING!!!!!

Full listen: ITS SO DIFFERENT FROM THE FIRST FEW SONGS BUT I FUCKING LOVE IT. Brad started writing this 4 years ago AND!!! he produced and mixed this!!!! WHAT A TALENTED MAN I LOVE THIS EVEN MORE

remember all the mornings you would make me late cause i couldn’t bare to leave you when you look at me the way you do

What Your Father Says

Initial reaction: BRAD I LOVE YOU BUT I CANT UNDERSTAND A THING. ALSO BIGGEST LIE OF THE YEAR: BRAD IS BAD NEWS??? CHORUS SOUNDS LIKE HE’S LIKE SCREAMING INTO MY SOUL??? HE DONT LIKE MY HAIR HE DONT LIKE MY MUSIC OHHHHHH DAMNNNNNN

Full listen: WHAT THE HELL I DIDNT EXPECT THIS AT ALL?????? ALSO FUCK WHAT YOUR FATHER SAYSS!!!! i watched the explicit live acoustic version after this and went to fucking heaven 15/10 IN MY TOP 3 FAV SONGS FROM THIS ALBUM

told me he dont like my hair he don’t like my music told me that i better run otherwise he’ll lose it

Cheap Wine

Initial reaction: okay another dancey track i dont mind. it kinda reminds me of hideaway/scars. CHORUS IS CATCHY AF

Full listen: YEAH OK I GET WHY PEOPLE LOVE THIS SONG. I LIKE IT. do i think it’s next single-worthy? NO they have better songs in this album soz

I drank too much cheap wine gonna spill this heart of mine

Time Is Not On Our Side

Initial reaction: ITS NOT ACOUSTIC WHY??? but i could actually understand the words now!!! ALSO THANKS I DIDNT NEED MY HEART TODAYYY

Full listen: SUCH A BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN SAD SONG. I still wish they kept it acoustic (kinda like million words) but I love it so much. and i admit i didn’t really like this when they first performed it on tour but what a mistake ITS A DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG

looking in your eyes night after night night after night and i see where i gotta stay day after day day after day to find peace

Pictures Of Us

Initial reaction: interesting song but it doesnt leave a mark on me. sounds too generic. the lyrics are great though and you get the sentiment

Full listen: i mean its not bad but i think they could do better. Day deserved a better album closer. But who knows maybe it’ll grow on me

Is it your eyes or my eyes that’s making the tears fall?

Overall

WHAT A ROLLERCOASTER OF EMOTIONS. I wish i could unhear the previously released songs so i could experience this album in its entirety. THAT WOULDVE BEEN AMAZING. also i really love their songwriting on this album bc it shows their maturity and i feel like this really is their most personal one yet. i think for me, it’s more like summer night vibes than day? and the night edition was like autumn night vibes? idk if that makes sense lmao but that’s how i hear it. also they said this was more like meet the vamps with all the guitars but… where? I mean I guess the songs are more focused on the instruments but still far from MTV. But at the same time, I’m not expecting it to be. I understand their need to grow and evolve as artists (i hope everyone does too).

That being said, I still think this is a very solid effort from the boys. I applaud them for being able to write songs that shows maturity and at the same time be able to pour out their emotions through it. Releasing a great album every year and touring all over the world is a great feat for a fairly young band like them so I respect that a whole lot. And maybe we’ll never go back to the MTV era but they are creating music they love, bringing out bops after bops, getting recognized for their hard work and honestly, I couldn’t be more prouder of them.

Rating: 4.5/5

Quick notes about the bonus songs:

Sometimes it rains in LA deserved to be in the standard version

If I Was Your Man and Kiss is okayyy

I fucking love Con’s & James’ bonus songs

I didn’t know NHC was in one of the songs I love it

Juicy Fruit in one word: W H Y ?

‘SOMETIMES’ BROKE MY HEART. MADE ME APPRECIATE BRAD EVEN MORE AND HAVE DECIDED TO LOVE HIM FOREVER AND EVER

DON’T FORGET TO BUY/STREAM/LISTEN TO THE ALBUM HERE: 

NIGHT & DAY: DAY EDITION