you were many, many things
both the goods and bads. the once and not. you were a lot of things, yet nothing at the same time. you were mine. you are gone. you knew the depths of me. you know nothing of me. you were all i needed. you are all i ask. in this fraction of kindness you sprinkled, i yearn. i wished to be yours once again. to lie in your arms. to embrace your warmest hugs. basking in your sunshine beneath the stars. tainted in your kiss beneath the scars. to hold you close so i won't lose you ever again. to write another chapter with you. you. you. it's always you and never once me.
i'm sorry for loving you, my little dove
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You are a god, and i am your scales.
not even close to a compliance,
i am but mere scales, flocked around
bits of me will soon fall into the abyss
as you soared with your grace
amidst grayish hue
dutifully, every single being within me
shall worship you with no argue, unquestioning, unyielding.
not even close to an envoy,
i live on day by day
believing that i am covering you, safeguarding, protecting—
even when Your might is greater than all of us combined
i am but a mere mortal devoting my insignificant existence to you,
an omnipotent immortal who shall rule this bountiful land
dutifully i tread my path
whatever appeal you shall i serve
i am more than grateful to be alive within your grasp
please do use me to your heart's desire
a being dedicated to you and only you
if it is death you adore,
my carcass shall be handed to you on a silver platter
if it is life you crave,
then i shall travel between realms
even if it meant trapping my soul in the process
if it is love you yearn
then i repent, my Lord,
for i have none to give
nor do a temporal frame such as i
deserving of such decorum
please forgive my incompetence, your Highness
you may have my skull in exchange, if you wish
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story of a red-rose tyrant
mother, where art thou?
where did I go wrong?
tell me mother, what should I do
to make this pain go away?
please fly your hand towards
the smiling edge of my face
on the slightest bit of tart
please cover my ears, eyes
on what should have been and should not
perhaps that way, I would not be in wrath
and within your grasp shall I become
inside you again, amidst the sanctuary
where you let me suffer grew and prosper
petite servings and books
scheduled down to seconds
living on bits and pieces, I live on another day
thinking it was all for the best,
after all, that’s what you said
as you sculpted me to your heart’s desire
mother, oh mother
tell me, where did I go wrong?
why does the world turned against me?
I was always enduring, patient, obedient
following all your rules and whims
so tell me, dear mother
why wouldn’t they do the same?
why do they raise their voice, their thoughts, their hands
against me?
mother, mother, mother
please do enlighten
am I in the wrong?
was I at fault for following your every orders?
for abiding, for not rebelling, for staying dutiful?
or is it perhaps
were you the ones in the wrong?
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general's dissection
the one time a famed general wishes to lose,
only to emerge victorious
warning: disturbing themes, implied suicidal ideation, angst. unrequited lilinor, implied levan x meleanor
wc 343, further details on the tags
inspired by this song!
i. hunted by many, a single prey escapes
come forth, engage in this game of ‘General’s Dissection’
humans and fae alike may partake
hunting down the general’s head
for he had fallen victim to deceit
castle ground rejects both ashes and bone
as the air grew colder and colder
away from the night’s blessing, I stood
in a path to nowhere
every road I took strayed me further
unwelcomed even by the gates of death
carrying the seed of your love, I wept
on journeys of no return, I yearn
ii. haunted by the shadow of your love
in the long nights, I dreamt of you
falling in love with someone else
saliva intertwining with what’s not mine
please wake me, please return to my embrace
set me free from this anguish
say, don’t you want to dissect
a general’s heart?
come, join and play this game
you always love carrying out mischief
with that smug grin adoring your silly face
a beating heart would make a fun trinket,
don’t you think?
come back to me and i’ll make you win
exchanging victory with every last piece
of love you’ve left behind
something i could never comprehend,
a grave misconception on your part
as I am a weapon for you to wield, not a warden!
iii. hope, a form of nonexistent luxury
ah
for once i wished to lose
a being incapable of affection
because if not, why else
would you escape from my grasp?
how i wished soul could be used as a currency
all i need is an hour, a splitting second
spare me a fragment of your existence
change the trajectory of one's life,
just like how you did way back
surely this kingdom would be better off without that lowly bat fae,
would it not?
bask the land anew with your magnificence
envelop the dusk with your finesse once more
certainly, people of the night shall rejoice
concerns and doubt looms no longer
as happiness blooms beyond briars and thorns
please come back to me, My Lady.
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dance macabre
let us have this dance of macabre!
strums of lullaby accompany our steps
spectators of all kinds eagerly waiting in silence
people of all race, of all ages
humans and fae alike, mingling into one
isn't this what you always long for, my dearest?
rub away your tears, if you would
look above, my dear!
look how the ceilings crumbled,
forging a path upon the starry skies
under the sea of stars shall we waltz with grace
one step forward, two steps back
a tango everyone desires
now then, don your brightest smiles!
as we are the prima donna of this palace
knightly boots replacing glass slippers
briars and thorns, prettier than roses
mere infatuations and lust desist,
only loyalty alone shall exist
hush now, dear
do not loathe me amidst parada
cease your sadness at once
bury your soul deep within one’s eyes
never let those speckles of aurora
be tarnished by the mere sight of carcass
for I have bestowed you the honor
of taking my hand for this dance
moving in front ochos,
I whisper to you eternal happiness
a promise that’ll never go unkept
holier than the eternal slumber
oh, if only the crowd would cheer!
rather than rotting beneath our feet
but fret not, my dear
as we have a long night ahead of us!
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