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kentucky-fried-thea · 28 days

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Are Santa's elves being abused?

@cuntvonkrolock and I got into a friendly argument over whether or not Santa was an abusive boss.

Victor's argument was that the elves could not possibly make enough gifts a year, as there are 8 billion people on the planet, and even if he was using Christmas Magic, that would be use of performance enhancing drugs, and therefore still not ok.

My argument was that it entirely depends on how many elves Santa actually has.

Well, I'm autistic, and have taken math through calculus, so I decided to crunch the numbers.

Victor googled it, and apparently Santa has around 110,000 elves. The linked article also states that calculations have been done surrounding this problem, but the calculations are quite flawed in that they are missing some very large numbers.

We decided that around age 15 was when you started receiving gifts not from Santa, but from your guardians, so that is the number we are using.

A quick google search says that there are about 2 billion kids 14 and under on the planet. Now, not all of those kids celebrate Christmas.

According to reindeerland.org, only about 32% of people actually celebrate Christmas. That means that the number of children receiving gifts is now whittled down to 32% of 2 billion: 640 million.

But some kids don't believe in Santa at all, and just get their gifts from loved ones. Google says that about 83% of kids are taught to believe in Santa, so we can shave off 27%. That leaves us with 531,200,000 kids.

But, that doesn't take into account the Naughty List.

You can find Santa's official Naughty and Nice List on the official website for the Department of Christmas Affairs. My autism knows no bounds, so in order to get a full count of how many kids are on the Naughty List, I scrolled through the entire List, ensuring that every name had loaded, and did a search command for how many times the word 'Naughty' was mentioned. I also found some very interesting names along the way.

Exactly 31,700 names are on the List, with each name only occurring once. Exactly 15,350 of these names were on the Naughty List. The word Naughty no longer looks like a word.

Since each name was only listed once, it is obvious that this is a general approximation for the amount of children on the Naughty List. The approximation being, 48.4227129% of children are on the Naughty List. I am never typing the word Naughty again.

Now, we know that 48.4227129% of 531,200,000 is 257,221,450.925 and that 531,200,000 - 257,221,450.925 = 273,978,549.075. Therefore, that is the number of kids receiving gifts from Santa.

Time to bring back my first number, 110,000 elves. 273,978,549.075/110,000 = 2,490.7140825, which gives us about how many gifts an elf makes a year. You should work around 260 days in a year to have a healthy life, so we can divide that by 260.

2,490.7140825/260 = 9.57966954808, which we can round up to 10.

Therefore, in a day, an elf must make around ten gifts.

#mine #santa #victor tag #this took me like an hour if it doesn't go viral please kill me

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yuri-is-online · 7 months

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Congratulations! If it’s alright, for the event could I have prompt 6 with Riddle, Floyd, and Idia. Thank you!

6. Crowley has decided to put together a murder mystery for the whole ball and you've been the first one "killed." Whoever is playing detective seems really upset about that.

Hello hello! Thank you so much for your patience with me (シ. .)シ In place of Floyd we have Ortho per your request, I hope you enjoy it friend.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, this was a really fun line up of characters and I really should write for Ortho more, he deserves all the friends in the world. The other requests can be found on my masterlist.

Riddle

Riddle is not fully aware of his reputation. He knows he has one of course, but he is very much under the impression that this reputation is a good one. He very much thinks that the glances going back and forth right now are because the other NRC students know just how intelligent Riddle Rosehearts is and that they stand no chance at winning this game when Heartslabyul's academic reputation is on the line. Because clearly

The steam pouring out of his ears and vein popping free from his skull are not something he is remotely aware of as he stomps through the crowd searching for- well he doesn't really know what. The Headmage had very pointedly said that wild accusations were not allowed in this game.

"The detective only has one chance to make the correct guess, so please make sure you are confident when you make your submission!"

The ballroom is filled with potential suspects, and it's not like he saw who tapped Yuu on the back to single them as their first choice. Really he can't decide what was more brazen, snatching them away while he was literally holding their hand or choosing to pick on the only person who wouldn't complain. The music pauses just as Riddle has managed to get some sort of baring on his surroundings, indicating he was once again too late.

"Our killer strikes again! Our second victim for tonight is Trey Clover, would you please set aside your mask and step up to the balcon-" The headmage's words are drowned out once again, but Riddle's not angry anymore. Frustrated certainly, but not mad, if he didn't know any better he would assume the killer was deliberately targeting him.

"Aww Goldfishie." Floyd has the audacity to look dissapointed, as if his favorite people were getting picked off and not Riddle's. "Aren't you gonna scream a whole bunch over Sea Turtle like you did with Little Shrimpy?"

"I did not scream." He crosses his arms and a bit of amusement returns to Floyd's face.

"Did too. It was really loud and super funny, everybody heard it." Floyd is provoking him on purpose, Riddle looks up towards Yuu to ground himself, but his scowl only deeps when he sees them giggling over something Trey's said.

"Excuse me but I really don't have time to waste talking to you." Both Floyd and Riddle are surprised at how certain he sounds, though one of them is certainly more disappointed. "I need to get back to my... friends and this game is getting in the way of that."

"Aww you're not going to scream any more at all?" Floyd doesn't bother looking up at the balcony, boredom turning his attention away from his role just as Riddle is finally hitting his stride with his. "Fine here," a card is thrown at him that he barely manages to catch, "I don't wanna play anymore if you aren't gonna be fun about it."

"Wait! That's against the rules you can't just-" Floyd is already gone and the Headmage already announcing the game over before Riddle can even think about how not actually upset he is. He feels small, useless, robbed of yet another chance to be normal even if Floyd's behavior is sort of normal for the school. Why can't he just get out of his own head for long enough to have fun? He promised his dorm, he promised Yuu, that he would try, didn't he?

"Riddle?" Speaking of Yuu, they've come straight to him, the trace of a smile is still there even if it's been dropped in favor of concern. "You ok? Did you not have fun?"

"Fun." It's a strange word. He doesn't really think he understands the appeal.

"I'm just annoyed with Floyd's behavior." He crosses his arms, but he is surprised to find that he's smiling. "But no matter, are you ok? Sitting around can't have been fun." You shrug.

"Well it was fun to watch you once Trey told me you were the detective, we were rooting for you!" And just like that the strange disappointment is back. There's pride and affection in your look he hasn't rightfully earned through the rules of the game. But perhaps, he thinks idly as you make no move to leave and stay chatting with him against the backdrop of the party, he was lucky enough to have it from the start.

Ortho

"Night One, the town has elected me Sheriff to address the serial killer preying on our people. Oh or should it be a werewolf? Pity the headmage didn't say..." It's always a bit strange to see Ortho "frown" but tonight it feels extra serious. This Masquerade was his first school event as a full Night Raven first year, AND he had made his own costume. You all had actually, Ace had suggested your little group make them together so you would be able to easily spot each other in case of emergency. And to make things even more extra important, Crowley had decided to assign him (you are pretty sure it was actually random but Ortho was so excited you didn't bother to say) the role of detective in his murder mystery game. You shouldn't be surprised that he was so eager to win, but it was still such a cute sight that you couldn't help but be a bit excited.

"I don't think it's against the rules to pretend the killer's a werewolf, actually that's one of the things we call this game in my world." You really hate adding that caveat onto the end of things, it makes you feel like an annoying old person who can't understand that times have changed. But Ortho never minds when you do, it's more data for him to catalogue and this tidbit seems to really excite him.

"Oh really?! I thought you said it was called 'Town of Salem?' That was how you pronounced it right?" You really should not be surprised Ortho remembers you telling him about a video game, but the mention of it still surprises you.

"Oh no that's just a computer game version of it. Sort of..." You don't want to waste more of the boy detective's time explaining the concept of the Mafia to him, the last time you tried something like that he had started calling Azul "oyabun" and you both had been made to "apologize" by waxing the Lounge's floors.

"Aww so I don't need to record what I do each night?" Thankfully Ortho doesn't push it further and just bounces back to his normal happy self with a shake of the head. "That's ok, I'll do it anyway! It'll keep me from wanting to review the security cameras hehe." And with that he bows and flies into the crowd, eager to start collecting clues and fulfill his duty as the "long arm of the law." You salute him just as someone taps you on the shoulder and the music pauses.

"And our killer strikes!" Crowley is the one saying it but you can almost hear it in Ortho's voice being added to his notes. "Yuu whatever your last name is I didn't write it down did I please set aside your mask and make your way up to the balcony!" The music resumes as you make your way off the dance floor, making sure to stick out your tongue at Ace who makes fake crying motions as you go.

"Night Two, we lost the prefect! That's just not going to fly with this Sheriff in town..." Ortho stops to consider his movements as the music begins again. Yuu had been "killed" approximately thirteen point two seconds after he left to survey the scene. That means the killer would have to be someone who was around them at the start of the game, either directly next to them or within a brief walking distance. And since they had been bold enough to "kill" just in front of the detective they would have walked away almost immediately, wanting to put as much distance between themselves and the scene of the crime as possible.

"IT WAS YOU!" Ortho joyfully yells, sternly pointing at an extremely surprised Pomefiore student, who drops his incriminating card in shock. Ortho gleefully snatches it up as you begin to make your way down the stairs to congratulate him, something that turns into a sprint as soon as you see the gathering magical energy. "Now awfully sorry partner but this town just ain't big enough for the two of us!"

"No bad Ortho! No lasers! And that's the wrong movie genre!!!!"

"Aw I was just kidding~" Ortho has the audacity to giggle and hit his head in another wrong genre move "If the ballroom goes away we won't be able to play again, right?" Oh you really wish you could explain why him saying that sounds so creepy without sounding insane.

Idia

"What a fucking drag." Idia pities the poor fool who decided to let him keep his tablet during the ball. So what if Ortho was technically another "player," did they really think that meant he didn't have access to the security cameras? It was literally taking him seconds to ID their stupid ass and then this it was going to be GAME OVER. This was always going to be the outcome, no matter who the killer was as soon as they were unfortunate enough to have to face off against him.

So why are his hands shaking so badly?

Yuu is standing confused about what to do, looking around for Mr. Grim probably, he can't help but zoom in on their face, thumb pausing the video as he runs it over their cheek before flinching back to the feed. They speak briefly to their friends before deciding to move towards the edges of the ballroom, looking to get away from the people probably, it's a feeling he knows well. Before they can make it to safety, Cater taps them on the shoulder and the music pauses as they sigh. Maybe they're disappointed at being the first one out, but Idia can't help but feel like they expected it. It sort of makes sense that the magicless one would be the first to go, like deleting irrelevant lines of code. It's fitting in more ways than they know.

"Fork it over." Idia is glad that he's taller than Cater, who seems really surprised that he's listening to his actual voice and not his tablet. The extra inches and flaming hair is really giving him a boost to moral even if he is going to go right back to hating himself for it later. "And don't play dumb I know you're the killer."

"Aww really?" Cater looks slightly annoyed, his finger comes up to twirl one of his annoyingly perfectly messy locks of hair. "#sad, I thought I made off with the Prefect perfectly." He hands over the card and Idia rolls his eyes, he had a speech he wanted to give. Something really cringey clowning on just how stupid Cater had to be to think he was going to get away with-

"Idia!" Yuu manages to tug him away from that train of thought, they must really have booked it here fast with just how breathlessly they called his name. They smile and give him a shakey thumbs up, something that would normally send him into cardiac arrest but doesn't effect him much at all to his surprise. The strange emotion he felt earlier, the one that is still making his hands shakey, is overriding any logical thought or normal behavior forcing him forward towards you rather than back into the shadows. "I just wanted to say good job! I mean I really shouldn't be surprised that you won so fast but it was still really co-" His shakey hand finds purchase on your neck, brutally aware that it's still un-gloved forcing skin to skin contact that he knows will be stuck in his brain for weeks to come. Sure, he should probably just have Ortho do a scan rather than look you over himself, technology doesn't make mistakes, or asses situations off of impulse. But he knows, even if he still asks Ortho to check on you later, that no amount of data would ever reassure him. He needed to feel the strangely fast beat of your heart himself.

"Sorry." Idia doesn't stutter, nor does he pull his hand away. "Can you just... stay like this with me. Just for a little longer." You simply nod, stay still not bothering to close the gap between you so as to allow Idia his space but relax into his touch enough to assure him that he is welcome to do it himself.

If he was forced to tell the truth and not spew his pessimistic drivel, Yuu's care and understanding would be what Idia would say he liked most about them. He didn't say he was afraid of them dying, but they heard him all the same.

When you are ready I am here. And while he might not be ready to say anything out loud, he can say it in the tender way he holds onto you for the rest of the night.

#twisted wonderland x reader #riddle rosehearts x reader #idia shroud x reader #ortho shroud #500 followers celebration #idk if kids still play town of salem or if it still is up #but let me tell you nothing beats winning the game for the town as the veteran?#idk #what that class with the gun that can go on alert is #but no among us is what went viral -_-

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beforeyougo-turnthebiglightoff · 1 month

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has he EVER got his fucking gob shut

#love him tho #him and charli are just made 4 each other cos shes always 😛ing too so #is the 5th one ACTUALLY him i cant tell #it was on my pinterest so idk like where its from #george daniel #i feel like my posts read like someone whos trying to go viral on a tv show made by millenials and it stresses me out #the 1975

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putmeinmovies · 8 months

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༻✧༺

Written and Directed by Sofia Coppola

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dianessunflower · 1 year

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Stephanie Hsu reacting to Michelle Yeoh winning Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a Lead Role (29th Screen Actors Guild Awards, 26 February 2023)

#stephanie hsu #michelle yeoh #everything everywhere all at once #eeaao #eeaao sag sweep #eeaao awards season sweep continues #michelle yeoh did the fucking thing #steph being emo makes me emo #need this to happen one more time #michelle yeoh is coming for that oscar #steph deserved over the other supporting actress but im too happy about mimi ngl #making history #tumblr do your thing make this go viral too

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sturns4thisbitch · 22 days

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“next door neighbor”

-matt sturniolo pt.1

warnings: nothing just a bit of fluff, strangers/friends to lovers, hockey!matt/sweetheart!matt

it was 8 o’clock when i heard a knock on my front door. i rolled my eyes and got up, throwing on a t shirt and shorts from the night before and fixing my hair slightly. i walked downstairs and opened the door, to my surprise i was met with THE matt sturniolo. matt was the defender of our school hockey team, he was one of the popular guys last year, but in summer everyone sort of forgot he existed, school started in a month and i had been sleeping in all summer, so boy was it a surprise being woken up at 8am, let alone matt sturniolo being the one to do it.

“hey, what are you doing here?” i asked between yawns, as his eyes traveled over my slightly clothed body

“uhm, right, sorry, i just moved in next door..” he pointed over

“and i know we go to school together..” he paused and laughed to himself

“but my mom wanted me to bring you these” he gestured down to a plate of cookies in his hands, i smiled that he even knew who i was, let alone brought me a gift

“that’s so sweet! thank you! so where are chris and nick?” i asked smiling, me and nick were in photography together in junior year and we haven’t really talked since, but i missed him and wanted to catch up

“oh, yeah, they’re at him getting shit packed yk, but if you want we don’t mind if you come over!” he said grinning brightly

“yeah that’s fine, just give me a few to get ready, i’ll be over soon” i backed away

“alrighty! see you soon!”

“thank you again for the cookies!”

“anytime!” he said before i shut the door and ran upstairs to get changed, shit. i just talked to one of the finest men i know, barely clothed and looking a mess, dammit i’m so embarrassing. i rushed to do quick makeup and i straightened my hair a bit to touch it

up before i changed and i was back downstairs putting on my shoes in a matter of 10 minutes. i walked out of my house and down the road a few feet over to matt’s house, i walked up his front steps. his house was beautiful on the outside and i was even more shocked when he opened the door to let me in.

“hey neighbor i’m here” i giggled

“mhmm come in” he shifted over to let me in and oh. my. god. his house was so gorgeous.

“wow.” i uttered

he laughed and looked at me “wow what?”

“your house, wow.”

he smiled “yeah? thank you”

“yeah, yeah of course”

an hour later

i had caught up with all of his brothers, met his parents and their mom even invited me to dinner tonight. of course i was gonna go, i’m not stupid. matt was so fine, not only that but he had an amazing personality, i used to think he was the stereotypical stuck up jock who has hoes and treats women like shit, but he was nothing like that. getting to know him made me even more attracted to him, for him as a person, not just his looks.

authors note

…that’s it for part onee lmk in the comments how i did and if i should make a part twoo 🫶💋

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