#victor tag
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Are Santa's elves being abused?
@cuntvonkrolock and I got into a friendly argument over whether or not Santa was an abusive boss.
Victor's argument was that the elves could not possibly make enough gifts a year, as there are 8 billion people on the planet, and even if he was using Christmas Magic, that would be use of performance enhancing drugs, and therefore still not ok.
My argument was that it entirely depends on how many elves Santa actually has.
Well, I'm autistic, and have taken math through calculus, so I decided to crunch the numbers.
Victor googled it, and apparently Santa has around 110,000 elves. The linked article also states that calculations have been done surrounding this problem, but the calculations are quite flawed in that they are missing some very large numbers.
We decided that around age 15 was when you started receiving gifts not from Santa, but from your guardians, so that is the number we are using.
A quick google search says that there are about 2 billion kids 14 and under on the planet. Now, not all of those kids celebrate Christmas.
According to reindeerland.org, only about 32% of people actually celebrate Christmas. That means that the number of children receiving gifts is now whittled down to 32% of 2 billion: 640 million.
But some kids don't believe in Santa at all, and just get their gifts from loved ones. Google says that about 83% of kids are taught to believe in Santa, so we can shave off 27%. That leaves us with 531,200,000 kids.
But, that doesn't take into account the Naughty List.
You can find Santa's official Naughty and Nice List on the official website for the Department of Christmas Affairs. My autism knows no bounds, so in order to get a full count of how many kids are on the Naughty List, I scrolled through the entire List, ensuring that every name had loaded, and did a search command for how many times the word 'Naughty' was mentioned. I also found some very interesting names along the way.
Exactly 31,700 names are on the List, with each name only occurring once. Exactly 15,350 of these names were on the Naughty List. The word Naughty no longer looks like a word.
Since each name was only listed once, it is obvious that this is a general approximation for the amount of children on the Naughty List. The approximation being, 48.4227129% of children are on the Naughty List. I am never typing the word Naughty again.
Now, we know that 48.4227129% of 531,200,000 is 257,221,450.925 and that 531,200,000 - 257,221,450.925 = 273,978,549.075. Therefore, that is the number of kids receiving gifts from Santa.
Time to bring back my first number, 110,000 elves. 273,978,549.075/110,000 = 2,490.7140825, which gives us about how many gifts an elf makes a year. You should work around 260 days in a year to have a healthy life, so we can divide that by 260.
2,490.7140825/260 = 9.57966954808, which we can round up to 10.
Therefore, in a day, an elf must make around ten gifts.
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LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU PUBLISH CARRIGAN STUFF. I WANT TO READ THE CARRIGAN STUFF.
OH GOD OK AUAUGHGHH
Actually. I think you asked me for a summary of her Deal several months ago. And, uh, I know it's taken forever, but here you go!
…This will get a bit complicated, but I'll start with the original incarnation.
Carrigan Grimm is, mechanically, a lv 14 pathfinder 2e forensic medicine investigator with the medic archetype + a smattering of rogue / thaumaturge. So, she's extremely good at healing, knowing things, investigating, sneaking, and finding weak points. Overall, she is "a prickly perfectionist with self-loathing issues up to her eyeballs. She's convinced that no one will like her, so she pushes them away to preempt the rejection. She loves the thrill of a medical challenge or the hunt for a monster, and has some distinct mad scientist tendencies, but they're more or less held in check by a deep sense of decency." (thanks, rp partner!)
Carrigan grew up in a city not-so-secretly ruled by aristocratic vampires, and was a normal human working in forensic science, specializing in autopsies. A body she was working on turned out to be not fully dead yet -- unbeknownst to her, he was in the process of becoming a vampire -- and his bite somehow turned her into a dhampir. After frantically trying to reverse it by self-amputating the fingers that were wounded in the attack, she had to face that she had become a dhampir permanently, and was closer than ever to the creatures that she loathed. She spent the next several years isolating herself, getting by as a back-alley doctor in the city's slums and drowning in self-hatred, until the day when an acquaintance asked her to look into the disappearance of a friend.
(begin campaign 1.)
Within a few months, she had honed her skills as a combat medic, killed a lot of bogeys, saved all the children of her city, and lost a close friend. She had also joined a secret order of vampire hunters called Lantern Hunters, who fight with magically summoned lantern-shaped flails that are specially suited to destroying vampires.
Carrigan didn't hate the work, and didn't hate the people she was working with, either. So, after the mission, she kept looking for new challenges and new mysteries to solve, new people to help -- anything to keep her moving.
(end campaign 1.)
Shortly after, the country was plunged into a civil war. She fought alongside the Lantern Hunters, against her homeland, at first, but got fed up with their reckless tactics and left to go monster hunting in the countryside with one of her companions for the next several years. It ended up being for the best, because the tide of the war eventually turned, and the Lantern Hunters themselves were hunted into near extinction.
(begin campaign 2.)
Fifteen years after her original mission, she was given a new one: find a dangerous artifact before it fell into the wrong hands. She spent months in enemy territory, found the artifact, had the artifact stolen by someone she thought of as a close friend, and ended up getting trapped in a city undergoing a diabolic invasion, where she and her companions spearheaded its liberation. For their deeds, they were given the opportunity to participate in the peace talks that ended the civil war, and offered roles on the Council that would replace the vampire aristocracy. Of the three, only Carrigan accepted, committing to spend two years in office.
(end campaign 2.)
At this point, she made the very difficult decision to leave the Lantern Hunters. Although they had given her purpose at a time in her life when she truly needed it, she knew that her new high-profile job could put the remaining members in significant danger, and, well… she no longer truly agreed with their ideology that all vampires deserved to be destroyed because they're vampires. Most of the vampires she'd met had been awful, wretched creatures that deserved to die, true -- but it was because of who they were as people. Vampirism had just given them the opportunity to become the monsters they had always wanted to be.
Close to the end of her council term, she was summoned by a mysterious figure for an unexpected mission -- investigate some small-town disappearances and deal with the malevolent force causing them. She was expecting familiar faces when she went to meet her companions, but there was an unexpected newcomer, sent by one of her fellow council members -- Victor, a young vampire who… shockingly, still seemed to have somewhat of a conscience, and a personality rather than a god complex.
She found him fascinating.
(In the meta, we decided to run a Halloween one-shot preview for the 3rd campaign featuring these characters, and invited another player to join us. They brought Victor, and what was planned to be a one-shot turned into a three-parter with a 12k word text rp thread.)
An explanation of Victor will come in another post.
After that mission, Carrigan and Victor were uncertain they would get to work together again, but they crossed paths and got to know each other enough that when the mysterious figure that had caused them to meet in the first place sent out a new summons for an important mission, he invited Victor directly, on the condition that Carrigan would share the blame for any potential problems arising from his involvement.
Meta story short, from there the game went on a ~ten-month hiatus where we switched campaigns to a prewritten adventure with different characters. Victor's player and I were desperate to keep RPing with these two dorks, but couldn't without making things unfair for the other players in the game.
So, we decided to switch to an alternate universe.
Victor started as the player character in my rp partner's playthrough of Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, which they had a lot of fic for. I converted Carrigan (Alexandria) Grimm into a character that would fit in that world.
Alex Carrigan is a forensic pathologist from London who had, a couple months prior to the start of the rp, been attacked by what she was pretty sure was a vampire -- but all the evidence of the attack had disappeared, leaving her to appear completely delusional as she desperately tried to convey that he was still out there and still a danger to people. She lost two fingers and spent a month being involuntarily hospitalized for her "delusions," eventually starting to wonder if the attack may not have happened as she remembered it. Possibly worst of all, throughout the experience, she received no support from any of her former colleagues or the people she thought were her friends. So, the moment she was free, she bought a plane ticket for Los Angeles, with the intent of not looking back for as long as she could manage.
A month later, walking to the bar, she found a broken, bleeding body lying in an alleyway, and begrudgingly decided to take him home and patch him up as best she could, rather than potentially bankrupting him by calling an ambulance. Within a few minutes, though, his heart stopped -- but he didn't lose consciousness or seem at all concerned when she brought it up.
And that was how she met Victor and begrudgingly joined the Masquerade.
In the months since, they've gotten to know each other, fought fleshwarp monsters in the sewers together, defeated a powerful fleshcrafting vampire, and become best friends.
Alex has gotten a (highly illegal) job at a shady clinic, unwillingly become a ghoul (a semi-thralled superhuman who drank a vampire's blood), adopted a cat, and lost her appendix.
It means everything to Victor that he finally has a friend, and he's terrified of losing her. He has also started working at a local theatre and is starting to get to know his new coworkers. Surely nothing weird or supernatural will happen with them.
#for marielle#carrigan tag#victor tag#it them#here's the thing i've been vagueblogging about for months
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you people gotta watch umami's movie Interface it's on youtube it's been the best movie I've seen in ages. killer sound design, excellent pacing and voice acting and dialogue, and the animation speaks for itself. also Mischief is my best friend now and I appreciate all the art references particularly the Magritte and Wyeth influences
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.
#personal update on the guy:#we are dating :)#I went through a few days of intense anxiety because I think he is a lot more certain than I am#but then I was able to finally communicate that well and also tell him that I’m happy with things so far#and then we made it official#and I am much more peaceful now#we have met (most of) each other’s families and that went well#still mostly long distance :( but that’s okay#honestly would appreciate prayer for continued peace and wisdom as I officially begin this relationship#[it’s my first and sometimes I psych myself out]#but he is wonderful and I know that right now I am in the right place doing the right thing#also it’s really really nice to have the relationship more defined after months of talking daily#I feel more comfortable communicating directly and telling him things that I appreciate about him#and so does he ☺️#anyway thanks for reading this and being invested in my life#that’s it I’m done goodbye#victor tag
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44, 32 :}
"44. Something you like about your OCs in general"
i like giving my ocs little things that i do or other such aspects of myself so that i can point at them and go look at my cool oc they're like me! and other people can go woah your oc is cool and i can feel god about those things. this ranges from "interest in cooking/clothes" to "same disability" and other stuff too but like mostly those two i'll be honest
"32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why?"
victor. without a doubt. victor is a final girl. victor is MORE than a final girl she'd make sure as many people survived as possible. she has a flamethrower and a knife stored in her leg and a malfunctioning fear response she is going to kill the killer and then make everyone dinner.
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Playing around with a new brush again
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*throws food recipe agressively*
Bacon-Wrapped Water Chestnuts
https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/bacon-wrapped-water-chestnuts/
INGREDIENTS
1 pound sliced bacon
2 cans (8 ounces each)
whole water chestnuts, rinsed and drained
1 cup ketchup
3/4 cup packed brown sugar
I WANTED TO CREAM THE FIRST TIME I TRIED THIS, UNBELIVABLE
holy shit this is gotta be good then
I gotta try this first chance I get
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Ren-ren!! Happy Valentine's Day to you and Charlie!!! I hope you two has a swell day together! Also have a Palentine's card, friend :)!!
Waaa thank you Victor!! Here’s a card for you too!!
Charlie and I are having a great Valentine’s Day and I hope that you and Adachi are enjoying yours too 🥰
#heehee I love the nickname ren-ren!! I was happy to see you using it c:#thank u for the card!! I hope your day has been lovely 🥰#ren speaks#Victor tag
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i am CHILLING rn and having a great time :) hru
too epic! im pretty alright, im making a big perler just for myself to enjoy. hurts my back which is lame but i stay silly!
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Little bit of an art dump, been drawing a lot of OCs including a friend's
#my art#ocs#original characters#vampire oc#monster oc#fallenkey#andreas tag#nicolae tag#victor tag#monster boy oc#blood cw#nsft#i guess??
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All I want is a castle with over 80 rooms. Mostly empty. A ballroom that rarely sees use that I can ballroom dance in alone.
There's something poetic about being alone by choice in large places. I wonder what would be learned and heard in such places.
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manifesting my partner going to a cat café
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boy is coming over tomorrow to watch annihilation and teach us physics ^_^
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Photograph
I ask him once about that coat he always wears -
holes and patches, faded elbows, dirt and grass stains
Dwarfing his thin shoulders, even in the summer heat.
He straightens, smiles a little, scrunches freckled nose.
“It’s Dad’s,” he says, “or was - before.” He stares too hard
At the cracked tiles beneath our feet. I do not ask
him to go on - I know too well the lump that rose
And choked him then, the love and grief too intermixed
To separate, the feeling that the world is just
An instrument untuned, and played quite badly, cast
Aside without a thought for little boys in coats.
But as these heavy feelings strike my heart, he smiles
Again, and squares his skinny shoulders, standing tall.
“Mom says I’ll grow into it soon. She says I look
Just like him.” Reaching then into his coat, he shows
The photo to me - laughing freckled face, the same
Tan coat, the same blue eyes. I study it. He laughs.
“Don’t I look like him now?” he asks, and in his eyes
I see the grief is mixed with pride, and courage grows.
The boy has learned his lesson better than I have -
I hear the sour notes. He hears the song that rings
Right through them, dissonance becoming harmony.
“You do,” I say. He nods. Away the photo goes.
#new poetry??? yep finally#the guy I’m talking to actually started a poetry challenge with me 😀#I had to answer the question: what’s in Billy’s pocket? and include the word instrument#dimsilver writes#victor tag
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27,28, and 10!
27. Any OCs that were inspired by a certain song?
victor. victor exists because i listened to in threes by as it is featuring set it off and jordy purp for like a week straight. she's changed a SIGNIFICANT amount since then to the point where she doesn't really match the song personality wise anymore but the candle remains. also that song fucking rocks my music taste has moved on from that kind of music but in threes specifically is so goddamn good and you will NEVER change my mind.
28. Your most dangerous OC?
hmm. tough one. on a base Power Level, probably dolly. she's a fucked up anomaly in a doll shell and she can and will just devour anything near if she's let out of the doll shell but she's also never out of the doll shell on purpose because she prefers doing science to murderous rampages
as it stands, the most dangerous oc in a way of "most likely to cause you an injury" is victor again. she's better at killing than she wants to be and she has a weapon on her all of the time. her prosthetic leg has a knife in it, she usually carries a gun or her beloved homemade flamethrower, and she has metal teeth made specifically for biting people efficiency. she could badly injure or kill most anyone by accident but she'd feel real bad about it afterwards
10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design?
get 2k'd
pros of decora fashion: super cute and fun to look at
cons of decora fashion: takes eight thousand years to draw
(i am incredibly proud of his design though. strawberry lemonade catboy screenhead <3)
#victor tag#dolly tag#2k tag#i think this is literally the first time i've 2kposted on main#at least with an image involved
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i keep 4getting to post tjhings drew this a month ago trying to work out victor’s design
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Last Seen Blogs
happyfork
The Left Side Of My Room
bloopswap
Untitled
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Untitled
bat-burrito1960
My Art Page
alexpags
Adventures of Alex