everyone thinks they're a poet these days and thank god for that

Just the tip

* part of “boyfriend chronicles” — can be read as a stand-alone.

ꨄ pairing: mingyu x f!oc

ꨄ genres: non idol!au, established relationship, fluff, smut, slice of life.

ꨄ summary: he tried his best, he really did. but lord, for how long could he control himself when you looked like a pretty, little angel, all his to ruin?

ꨄ rating & word count: 18+ ; ~9.5K  

ꨄ warnings/tags: fluff (called me single in 100 languages typa way), plentiful pda, they’re so in love that it repulses me /j, profanity, explicit sexual content; dom/sub undertones (a bit of switch action as well), semi-public sex, breast play, biting/marking, size kink, praising, pet names, fingering, teasing, dacryphilia, begging, “just the tip”, unprotected, penetrative sex, big d*ck!gyu, multiple orgasms (f!receiving), creampie — this is a work of fiction and it doesn’t represent mingyu in any way.    

ꨄ a/n: this series is slowly starting to look like my villain origin story 😔... like wdym i can’t have kim mingyu 💔💔? *sigh* anyway, it’s been a while, enjoy <3!

His footsteps are light despite him being in a hurry. It’s almost as if he could start flying at any moment. Mingyu wishes that was an option. The sunlight filtering through his living room windows barely makes it to the kitchen, where he’s struggling miserably. 

Large, shaky hands grip onto the petite looking sliders he has just finished making, carefully placing them inside the various colorful lunch boxes splayed out on the kitchen island. Mingyu is heaving ever so slightly, a bit of perspiration starting to collect on his forehead. He’s nervous. And it’s silly, he knows. But he can’t help his rushing heart that is hammering against his chest. 

It’s been over ten minutes since you texted him that you’re on your way to the park you two are going to meet up for your date. And he’s still here, in his pj’s, trying to finish packing the picnic basket as quickly as possible without absolutely destroying it. Even though Mingyu woke up criminally early with the intentions to cook everything himself, he somehow managed to fall behind because of the stupid cupcake batter that refused to make anything edible out of itself. 

With what feels like the umpteenth sigh of the day, he manages to complete arranging the boxes inside the basket. However, he almost slips while hurrying to reach his bedroom. A string of curses leave Mingyu’s pouty lips, the muscles in his arms flexing to support his whole body against the wall. He still needs to get ready, leave his house, and buy some sort of dessert from the local bakery before finally meeting you.

Thanking himself for picking up and ironing the outfit yesterday night, he dresses up in a flash. Mingyu ponders if he should do something with his hair, but ends up keeping it the way it currently is. Sure, it is kind of messy, but it also gives him that ‘casually sexy’ look. A satisfied smirk and the bare minimum skincare along with sunscreen later, he regards himself in the mirror for one last time. Looking more than good to go.

That state of peace only lasts for a moment though. Not wanting to be even more late than he already is, Mingyu grabs his phone, wallet, keys and the basket. After another minute of scrambling, he puts on a random pair of loafers and heads out. Even though you haven’t contacted him since earlier, he feels anxious. Who knows for how long you’ve been waiting all alone? 

His long legs help him blaze past the bustling neighborhood, hands clutching on the basket’s handle in an attempt to stop it from swaying unsteadily. Mingyu is so wrapped up in his thoughts of you that he actually walks past the bakery — before realizing and taking a 180° turn. The elderly owner smiles at him brightly as he enters the cozy shop, somehow catching up on what exactly is happening with the usually calm and collected guy he has seen for so long. “Aah, Mingyu! Welcome, my boy! Long time no see, eh? What brought you here all of a sudden? Mayhaps a special day with a special someone?” 

“Hi, Mr. Owen! Hah, really though… I don’t remember the last time I found myself having a little dessert. Glad to be back here! Although, I’m just gonna pretend that I didn’t hear the last part…” Mingyu trails off, eyes taking in the pretty pastries and all sorts of baked goodness displayed in front of him. His heart jumps a little when he thinks about how your face contorts in pure joy whenever you ravish the sugar rush from something sweet. “Uh anyway! Please pack me a dozen of these pastel colored macarons! And maybe four of those glazed donuts? Oh my god… are those heart shaped pies?? Looks so cute! Please pack two of them too!” 

The man nearing his late 60s can’t help but laugh at Mingyu’s excited rambling as he points at the things he wants. “Calm down, calm down, I’ll get to everything one by one.” He folds up some new boxes before putting the delicate confectioneries into them. “You really don’t have to say anything though, the answers are written all over your face.” 

Mingyu, who was busy admiring the heart shaped pies, looks up, confused. “Huh?” 

“The question I asked earlier. Which you pretended to not hear. The answer to it is written all over your face.” Owen shakes his head with a smile on his face. 

“Oh–” Mingyu looks down at his feet. Is he really that obvious? But even if he is, should he care about it? Feeling happy and elevated to meet his girlfriend doesn’t always need to be embarrassing. 

“Don’t mind my little teasing now, will you? Do you want me to put these in your basket?” He’s brought back to reality by Owen’s voice. Mingyu nods and brings the picnic basket up on the counter. 

While the old man adds up the prices to write a bill after carefully putting all the desserts in the almost full basket, Mingyu finds himself zoning out. Would you like all the things he’s bringing? What if you have some secret allergy he doesn’t know yet, and you’re unable to eat? A pout forms on his lips. But then he remembers — he’s been pretty late by now, and you’re waiting for him in a place you’re not familiar with at all.

He hurriedly pays and grabs his basket, apologizing to Owen for not being able to hang around longer and leaving immediately. Once he’s outside again, he quickly takes his phone and calls your number. Mingyu almost feels jittery, scenarios going through his head that aren’t exactly nice. Thankfully for him, you pick up after a few rings, greeting him cheerily.

“Mingyu! Hello baby! I’m here already, are you on your way?”  

That alone is enough for the six feet tall, grown ass man to wish he could disintegrate into thin air right now. Not in a negative way, though. He just finds it extremely devastating that you called him “baby” like that. But Mingyu is quick to recover from that feeling. “Hi angel, I’m on my way!! I’m sorry you have to wait there all alone… I’m like a three minute walk away from the park. Do you, maybe, wanna keep talking over the phone?”

“Aw sure! And don’t worry about it please, I’m just standing beneath a large tree and enjoying the scenery! It’s so pretty here!” 

Three minutes feel like thirty seconds with you, as he already gets through the park’s elegant looking entrance. His eyes immediately start searching for you. “Baby, I just got through the main gate! Where are you?” 

“Oh! That was quick, Gyu; should I come over to the entrance?” 

“Nono princess! Stay where you are, I’ll be there. Just give me some directions!” Mingyu insists. To his surprise, you don’t give up for your cause.

“Why?” Your voice is nearly a whine, “It’ll be way easier if I just go where you are!” 

With his heart doubling in his chest from fondness, he sighs, “Fine… I guess. Come over quickly then, will you?” 

“Yep yep, already on my way! I can’t wait to see you!” You giggle excitedly, keeping your eyes on the path as you wander back towards the main gate. Mingyu waits by the side of a decorative statue for you. His gaze is searching, hoping to catch a glimpse of the person he’s grown to adore endlessly. 

It’s only a matter of seconds for you to spot each-other, two pairs of eyes lighting up with joy. You run to him giddily, colliding into his firm chest that you’ve fallen asleep on several times now. His large arms wrap around your small frame to pull you closer, as if on instinct.

You inhale his scent deeply, a mix of his cologne and the smell of fresh laundry from his black polo shirt. However, you do avoid getting your face smushed up against him— for the sake of your skincare and makeup. Both of you stay locked in each other’s embrace for a while, before eventually pulling away.

“You look so unbelievably pretty, my love.” Mingyu leans down to place a kiss on your head. “And smelling like a dream, as well.” Heat rushes to your cheeks, and you fiddle with the belt loops of his beige trouser.

Only now, you’ve become aware of exactly how fucking good he looks today. This black polo fits him like a glove, paired with trousers that accentuate his long legs. Oh and, he also has a pair of eyeglasses that adorns his handsome face. The whole imagery is pretty devastating to your brain as it fails to process everything your eyes have registered. Why is it even legal to look like this?

You suddenly feel majorly weak in the knees, but Mingyu supports you with his unoccupied hand, flashing you a cocky grin. “What happened, baby?” He teases, clearly aware of the effect he has on you. You hold onto his arms and regain composure, clearing your throat from embarrassment. 

“Uhm, you look… really really great as well.” His eyes twinkle as he smiles upon your compliment, the hand around your waist pressing you into him. Your heart flutters in your chest from the close exposure. Mingyu seems a bit more touchy-touchy than usual, considering that you guys are in public.

“All for you, my angel,” your boyfriend mutters right against your ear, causing a shiver to run down your spine. As if that wasn’t satisfactory enough, he lets his lips brush over the shell of your ear, catching you even more off-guard. What the hell is in the air today? 

“Uhm– let’s go find a spot for our date? Or are we gonna just stand here?” You look up at Mingyu questioningly, doe eyes causing his heart to skip a beat. He sighs, just slightly annoyed with how his mind goes to unspeakable places with just that.

“Of course, baby, let’s find a place to sit down.” He smiles brightly, watching you wrap your smaller arm around his. To his dismay, his hungry eyes once again take in how pretty and irresistible you look in this flowy, white sundress. 

The soft material caresses your thighs with each stride; Mingyu wishes it was his hand instead. It’s absurd, but the way this dress has pretty flowers and hearts printed across it makes him wanna mark you up. The poofy sleeves, the sweetheart neckline that shows just enough to drive him crazy — God. Even the way your hair is loosely braided with stray locks tucked behind your ear? He genuinely wants to cancel all plans and take you to his home and do you all day.

It’s crazy, really. How can you just look like that and expect anyone to act like a normal functioning human? Mingyu shakes his head a little and inhales shakily. You deserve to get pampered on a picnic date as much as you deserve to get mind-blowing orgasms. 

“You’re not paying attention to me at all…” The sound of your dejected voice breaks him out of his reverie. Shit.

“No, no! Baby, please, I’m sorry… Uh, to be painfully honest with you, I’m distracted because you look so exceptionally pretty, like an angel who’s descended on Earth. But still, I’m really sorry for not listening to what you have to say. I promise I’ll focus from now on!!” He laces your fingers together and gives your hand a reassuring squeeze. 

“You’re such a flatterer, Kim Mingyu.” You try to hide your smile, sounding a bit angry to tease him. Your beloved boyfriend hates it when you call him by his full birth name; and this time is no different. However, to your surprise, instead of throwing a tantrum like he usually does, Mingyu leads you to the side of the path. 

“Wha—” you start, but close your mouth out of shock when he covers your frame entirely and leans down to press a sweet kiss on your lips. Your hands press against his toned stomach for support, your head emptying entirely. His lips are so soft against yours, the heat radiating from his body warming you up a bit too much. 

You pull away first, your whole face heated from his sudden action. As you take deep breaths to compensate for the air you lost during the kiss, Mingyu finally speaks up. “Don’t be mad at me today, my love. Please. I’m gonna be so, so sad. I promise I’ll do better but god, please don’t be upset.” His lips have formed his signature pout, your heart melting at the spot. 

You let your thumb caress over his pout, tip-toeing to peck him. Mingyu’s lips stretch into a smile, his unoccupied hand curling around your waist. “You’re so cute, how can I be mad at you?” You giggle, absolutely adored by this soft giant begging you to not be upset. 

“If I am cute, then what are you, princess?” Mingyu grins, nuzzling your hand before you move it away. You shake your head, not willing to debate on who’s the cutest. 

“Anyway, we should really find a place to sit down and get our picnic started. I was just saying that there aren’t a lot of people in the park right now, but we should still find a place with enough privacy.” 

The way Mingyu nods is like a puppy tilting its head. God, the way you’d commit arson for this guy. With a soft sigh, you continue. “And, I also have my own basket, which I left at an empty space I found by where I was standing. Let’s go there first, then we can move further into the park where not a lot of people will potentially find or bother us.” 

It takes you guys a few minutes to go and fetch your own basket, and probably another ten to fifteen minutes to find a spot for your picnic date. Mingyu is extremely happy with the grassy little patch surrounded by tall bushes and large trees, a big smile on his face as he takes out the picnic blanket he brought along. He can’t wait to show you all the food he made. 

Once he’s done setting the blanket, you take off your pastel pink mary janes and settle down on the blanket with your picnic basket nearby. Mingyu looks at you, a bit surprised. “You’re taking off your shoes?” The question makes you narrow your eyes. 

“And why wouldn’t I be taking off my shoes? To make this brand new blanket dirty?” His mouth forms an ‘O’ shape, before he nods. You can’t help but raise an eyebrow at him. “You can keep your shoes on, if you want. There’s no need to stink up this place.”

“HEY! I’m not that unhygienic, that last time I just forgot about laundry for some reason. I already told you… And I’m not wearing any socks today…” Mingyu trails off, discarding his loafers with a ‘hmph’. 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. Stop sulking, Gyu.” You watch him as he sits down as well, adjusting his trousers a bit to be more comfortable in this position. He overlooks you for now, reaching for his basket and carefully taking out the desserts first. Then, he produces a bunch of different tupperwares out of it, placing all the food in the center of the mat, between you two. 

You reach for your own basket as well, cautiously eyeing your boyfriend who seems to be extremely invested in unpacking all the food. The only things you’ve brought along today for the picnic date are flowers, a flower vase, a small canvas and some tubes of watercolor, besides your necessary belongings. Although it’s kinda embarrassing, it can’t be helped because Mingyu insisted on bringing everything for the date. 

“Gyu,” you murmur, hands anxiously gathering the loosely made bouquet inside your basket. It’s oddly nerve-wracking. You’ve never really received or given flowers in a relationship before. 

“Hm?” He doesn’t look up, eyes furrowed as he rummages through his basket. With a sharp inhale, you slowly retrieve the flowers, extending them towards him. Mingyu immediately turns to look at your shaky hands holding a bouquet of Jasmine and Lilacs, his face heating up as he realizes what’s going on.

“____, my baby,” he coos, bringing his hands to wrap around your trembling ones. “It looks so pretty, did you bring them for me?” You avoid eye-contact, but nod to give him confirmation. The wave of weird emotions that hits Mingyu is hard for him to explain. Usually, he’s been the one giving flowers to his partners in relationships. But, being on the receiving end for the first time, he feels as if he’s on top of the world. 

“C’mere.” He leans in to grab your waist, bringing you closer to him, before hoisting you up a little to place you on his lap. Mingyu fixes your dress, then  pulls you closer to rest against his chest. His left hand remains wrapped up around your midsection. “Thank you so much, love. I’m over the moon that you got me flowers. I’m so lucky to be dating you, angel.” He presses a kiss on your cheek, your heart almost bursting inside your chest. 

“Do you know Victorian floriography?” you look at him, slightly embarrassed. When he shakes his head as ‘no’, you go on, “It’s the language of flowers. Back then, gifted flowers used to have hidden meanings… But it’s kinda coming back in trend, I guess.” 

“Oh,” Mingyu ponders, “Then, does this bouquet of Jasmine and Lilacs have a secret message as well?” You nod, looking up at him with a shy smile. 

“Find it out later, okay? For now, please explain what you’ve brought along in so many boxes…?” Trying to change the topic, you take away the flowers to put them inside the vase you brought along, settling it in an empty space between all the packed boxes of desserts.

He chuckles nervously, suddenly remembering all the food he brought. “Uh… right. I might’ve gone a bit overboard with it, but I promise, sixty percent of everything you see is made by me, with so much love.” 

“Whoa!” you exclaim. “That’s a lot of things you made with your own hands… I’m honored.” Mingyu presses a kiss on the side of your neck, nuzzling it affectionately. Goosebumps spread across your skin, and you stop yourself from making any noises. It’s… weird that he’s being so intimate while you are pretty much in public. But god, does it do things to you… 

“You haven’t tasted anything yet, though. Heck, let me show you what’s inside first.” He reaches for the closest tupperware, and to your surprise, you see various, colorful fruits, all cut up in small heart shapes and laid out in rows. 

“Omg, so cute!!” you squeal, clapping your hands together in excitement. Mingyu beams at you, clearly happy with your reaction. 

“Hehe, there’s a lot more to see!” He stretches to grab two more boxes, each revealing tteok-bokki, your mouth inevitably watering from the sight. You’ve had these delicious rice cakes made by him a few times prior, and you loved it to bits. 

He leans down to rest his chin on your shoulder. “Should I take out the chopsticks?” Mingyu closes the box with fruits in it, moving it to the side. “Let’s go from spicy to sweet, hm? I also made tiny sliders because you seem to like miniature food a lot! After these, we can have the desserts!” 

You nod in agreement, snuggling up to him more. Receiving treatment like this makes you feel like a princess. Even though you’re not sure how much he has brought along, you internally make up your mind to at least taste everything and applaud the effort he put into it.  

Once you guys are done eating everything he had prepared himself, you urge Mingyu to take a break and save the desserts for the very end. He agrees, not willing for the date to end anytime soon. 

“I brought along something else as well… if you let me go for a bit, I can take my basket and you can hold me again.” You say after a while of chatting about this and that. Your boyfriend eyes you curiously, loosening his arms around your waist momentarily. That is enough for you to grab your basket and settle down on his lap again. 

“What did you bring? I’m so curious! Wait— tubes of paint?!” To add more to his surprise, you take out the small canvas, a literal gasp escaping Mingyu. “What can we possibly do with these? I don’t see any brushes…” 

“It’s so surprising to me that you’re always on Instagram, yet you have no clue about this.” You tease, placing the canvas in a position where both of you can access it very comfortably. He raises an eyebrow at your comment, feeling very attacked. But he refrains from saying anything.

“Let’s just start doing it, okay? It’ll make sense immediately because it’s nothing complicated.” You sigh, taking Mingyu’s palm in yours. He looks confused as you take the red watercolor tube first, getting rid of the cap and squeezing out a generous amount on the top of pinky finger. 

“Oh…” He lets you take his hand and bring it to the center of the tiny canvas, pressing the paint covered finger carefully against the paper. “But what’s that supposed to do? It just looks like a blob of paint…” Mingyu looks at you questioningly as you retreat his pinky from the canvas. 

“Oh hush, don’t be so impatient!” You scold him jokingly, pointing towards a bunch of tissues. “Clean up your finger now! You’ll find out soon enough.” He puffs out his lower lip, reaching for a tissue while grumbling.

You take the tube of blue watercolor and cover your whole thumb with a thick layer of paint. Mingyu watches you curiously while you press on your thumb in the opposite direction of his ‘blob of paint’, trying to get the sizes as close as possible. “That is so fucking adorable?!” Your boyfriend erupts in cute aggression when you lift up your thumb, revealing a heart made with your fingerprints. 

“It’s so cute, you’re so cute, fuck, I–” He stops himself before any inevitable words roll off his tongue. Mingyu is well aware that you prefer to take things slow, and he wants to make sure that you can process everything at your own pace. His thoughts are interrupted by your giggles. 

He tightens his hands right beneath your chest, pushing you close to nuzzle the crook of your neck. “Is it that funny? So fun to watch me lose my shit because of how fucking adorable you are, hm?”

“It’s not like that…” you murmur, goosebumps all over your body. “I just thought that it’s kinda amusing how you were all clueless and nagging about it earlier, then suddenly, you were screaming about how cute this is.” It’s hard for you to not make any sounds when he’s caressing your sensitive areas, but you attempt to keep your voice low and steady. 

Mingyu wishes he could explain how much that tiny heart shaped painting actually means to him. It’s almost like all your heart is into those two blobs of red and blue paint, looking back at him, telling him secrets you’ve never shared with him before. He feels all warm and fluffy inside, his senses all wrapped around your nuances. “Can I keep that for myself?” 

“Of course!” You smile brightly at him, extremely giddy that he wants to keep this small token of your feelings for him which will last way longer than the flowers. “Let the paint dry first, though.” 

“Sure, baby.” He squeezes you in his arms. “Can we have the desserts now? I know it doesn’t look like it, but there are plenty of them.” Mingyu whines, feeling sort of desperate to show you everything he bought earlier. Thankfully for him, you nod, perking up at the mention of many desserts. 

He reaches for the box with pies first, knowing very well you’ll absolutely adore them. And you do, blessing his ears with one of those cute squeals of yours, eyes sparkling at the sight in front of you. “OMG!! So pretty! And it looks delicious!” 

“Mhm, I had a feeling you’d love to have these. Let’s dig in!” Mingyu takes out a small bottle of hand sanitizer, squirting out some of it on both of your hands. These pies are very conveniently palm-sized. With its crust shaped like a heart, ruby red filling made out of cherries — it sure does make you feel hungry just by looking at it. 

“C’mon, take a bite,” your boyfriend muffles out, mouth already full of the big bite he has just taken. You nod gingerly, taking a shy bite of the pie as well. The buttery, flaky crust, paired up with a bit of the sweet cherries melt in your mouth, a satisfied sound rumbling in your throat. 

“Mm, it’s really good!” The smile on your face is like a whole trophy to Mingyu. You liked it. He’s so glad that he can’t really explain. 

“Yay!!! I got you donuts and macaroons as well!” He blurts out, all giddy looking at you savoring the sweet dessert. Once you’re done with the pie, he reaches for the boxes of both donuts and macarons, earning a small whine from you.

“I can’t eat that much… I’m almost full.” 

“Why? You only ate a little…” A frown forms on your boyfriend’s lips.

“Gyu. I had a ton of tteok-bokki. Then sliders. Then fruits. On the dessert side, I already had a pie. I’m really, really, sorry, but that looks like a lot of macarons and donuts. My stomach will either burst or I’ll just throw up at the end of this!” You try your best to make your point stand, pleading with your eyes for him to understand.

Mingyu heaves out a sigh. “Fineee. You’re gonna take the macarons back home with you, then. I bought these especially for you. And I’m not listening to any complaints about that.” 

“Gyu, that kinda makes me feel bad though… you basically did everything for this date.” 

“Baby, I did everything voluntarily because I wanted to treat you like this. Like you deserve to be treated. And c’mon now! You brought flowers for me, and came up with a fun little activity to do. What about all the dates we’ve had before that were totally planned by you? So pretty please, with a cherry on top, don’t turn me down?” 

You turn in his lap to face him, blinking back the silly tears that clouded your vision. He hums in approval as you wind your arms around his neck and pull him in for a sweet kiss. Although, you pull back soon enough, resting your foreheads together instead. “You mean so much to me,” you mutter, eyes locking with him. 

A strange warmth spreads throughout Mingyu, radiating inside-out and filling up his heart. He doesn’t really know what to say back — simply because he’s over aware of the fact that he is completely and utterly in love with you. But he doesn’t want to hurry, he wants to move with you, as you slowly open up your petals to him, like a flower does to a sun. 

“I wish there were words in my vocabulary capable of explaining how much you mean to me.” He smiles softly, pressing a butterfly kiss to the corner of your lips. Mingyu absolutely adores the sound of your giggle that drifts to his ears. 

“You’re so cheesy, I kinda like it.” 

“Just 'kinda'?” He can’t help his own chuckle. “And here I thought I was getting a lot of charm points for being cheesy.” 

“You can be cheesy all you want, baby. I think most of your charm points come from your physical features at a first glance.” You boop his nose, both of you bursting out in laughter. 

“Are you saying that I’m handsome?” 

“Mhm. Very handsome, in fact. Very tall as well. Very… very big too.” You can see the playful glint vanishing from his eyes. Mingyu inhales a shaky breath. 

“Let’s get to those donuts now. Please?” 

You nod, moving around to get back on your previous position. He bites back a groan as your hands feel around, squeeze and grab on his thighs before you settle down. “What donuts did you bring?” 

“Glazed donuts, cause you really liked them the last time!” He wraps an arm around your waist, adjusting you to be closer to him. Mingyu is well aware that he’s barely holding up. But, he’s trying to convince himself that being closer to you can get him through his… hard times.

“Whoa omg these look so good?!” His inner monologue is interrupted by your squeal. A small smile curls up his lips. 

“Right? Dig in, baby!” He encourages, leaning forward to take a donut for himself. You follow suit, excited to bite into the sugary heaven. 

The sweet dough crumbles in your mouth upon the first bite, the sugar glaze hitting your taste buds just right. As you savor the pleasant taste of it, a satisfied hum rumbles in your throat. “Gyu, this tastes heavenly. Way better than the last time we had it! And I loved the ones we got back then?!”

“I’m so glad, my angel. I’ll get you more the next time we meet up~” Your boyfriend nuzzles your hair affectionately, his heart doubling in his chest from adoration. It’s hard to explain how great he feels simply by seeing you happy, enjoying your food. Maybe, it’s because Mingyu himself loves to eat heartily and cook for his people; he hopes that he can see you like this forever. 

It would be so nice, he would cook for you everyday and help you out whenever you felt like cooking, and dine-out and order in as your heart desires. 

You’re almost done with your second donut by now, but Mingyu hasn’t said anything or even touched his portion after saying that he’d bring you more. Kind of worried, you turn your head to look at him, finding his eyes transfixed on you. 

“... Hello? Why’d you go silent? Is something in my hair or—” you stop halfway when you notice his gaze has shifted to your lips now. It makes you swallow nervously, anticipation building up in your system. You know that look all too well. 

“There’s something on your lips.” His voice is nonchalant, relaxing your senses a bit. You nod, attempting to wipe off the crumbs with your hand, but he catches your wrist, leaning in swiftly to wrap your lower lip between his. 

Goosebumps spread all over your body, hands automatically winding around his neck as he suckles on the delicate flesh of your lips. His free hand rests against the small of your back, urging you to turn towards him fully. 

You really don’t understand how he can kiss you this good when you are yet to open up to his tongue. Your body has already started to heat up, breathing uneven. With shaky hands, you clumsily take off his glasses, his lips curling up in a smile against yours. 

Soon enough, he coaxes your mouth open, his hand letting go of your wrist and cupping your jaw instead. You both moan simultaneously, crazed by the sweet aftertaste of the desserts. Mingyu is extremely eager, taking the lead as always, your body starting to quake from the mind numbing kiss.

Picking up on your struggle to breathe, he pulls away just enough to whisper against your lips. “You have to keep breathing through your nose, baby. You can’t just forget to breathe, even if I’m kissing you so good for so long that your mind goes blank.” 

You flush at the mention of your usual complaint against him whenever he has to give you space to breathe during a make-out. “I… I try, I swear, but it’s…” you trail off between huffs, hiding your face in the crook of his neck.

“Aw, am I giving my princess a hard time?” Mingyu pats your head, nudging you to get back up. You nod, a small chuckle escaping him. “Fuck, you’re so cute,” he leans in for a brief peck. “And so pretty, looking like a fairy today.” 

He returns to the kiss with full passion, tongue immediately entangling with yours, a low groan escaping him. You taste so maddeningly sweet, like an endless source of honey to his bee. He suckles on your tongue, his teeth nibbling on your lips, reducing you to an absolute mess. You are, quite literally, shaking, arousal dripping down your core and ruining the pretty lace thong you wore for today’s date. 

“Aah–” you gasp as he trails down to press wet, sloppy kisses down your neck, hands pulling at the sleeves of your dress. You don’t stop him, threading your fingers through the luscious locks of his wavy hair. Mingyu has nearly forgotten that you guys are technically in public, and has made you do the same. He drags your bra strap off your shoulder using his teeth, biting and sucking on the newly exposed skin.

One of his hands is wrapped around your waist to secure you, his other hand slipping beneath the skirt of your dress, stroking your thighs. Only now, you suddenly remember that you’re on a picnic date in a somewhat secluded part of a very public park. “Mm–mingyu– don’t—” you struggle with your words,  overwhelmed by his ministrations. He’s everywhere — touching, squeezing, licking, kissing and biting. “Stop, please.” You whimper, his actions halting immediately. 

“What’s wrong?” Mingyu lifts his head to assess your situation, looking dazed himself, his voice hoarse. You swallow nervously, your own eyes glazed with tears that had appeared because he made you feel a bit too good.

“We… we’re in public,” You state firmly. “We can get caught in a very indecent state if we keep going.” 

Mingyu takes a look around the surroundings. Tall bushes and plenty of large trees cover this small patch of area entirely. He knew exactly what he was doing when he chose this spot. One would have to wander off very far into the park and physically push off bushes to get in here like you guys did. Which, to him, seems extremely unlikely. 

“I wouldn’t call this public, my love.” He takes both of your hands to entwine your fingers. “And I highly doubt someone would come this far and specifically peek around the bushes to catch us. You do remember how long it took us to get here, no?” 

“Yeah… but, what if—” 

“There are no ‘what if’s, my angel. Even if someone did come this far into the park, they’d still have to manhandle the bushes to be able to see what’s on the other side. Please, trust me…” 

His broken look stirs something in you, and you lean in to touch your foreheads together. “I do trust you. And I want you as much as you want me,” you whisper shyly, your thong uncomfortably damp and sticking to your skin. “But, wouldn’t it be better if we go home quickly, and um, finish what we started…?” 

Mingyu sighs, wrapping you in his arms and pulling you as close as possible. “I don’t think I can hang on for that long, baby. I need you so fucking bad. I’ve been struggling to keep myself together for an embarrassingly long time now. You– You just look so goddamn pretty. Like a tiny little fairy who is all mine to ruin. Fuck, just… just see what you’ve done to me.” He takes one of your hands and guides it to his crotch, blood rushing to your face. 

“If you want me just as much as I do, you must be soaking wet, right?” His whisper is hot against your neck, right hand holding your own to his growing bulge while his left hand slips between your thighs. You gasp when he rubs his fingers against your ruined underwear, a satisfied grunt reverberating in his throat. “Fuck.” Mingyu curses under his breath, his hips bucking up to your joined hands.

“You really want us to go home in this state? Hm?” His voice is a whine, only adding more to your devastation. To be really honest, all logical reasoning left your system the moment he made you feel his hard-on. And then he had to feel your drenched thong in return as well, arousing you to the extent where you don’t really give a fuck about being in the open anymore.

“Hngh, fine— do it quickly.” You whimper, every inch of you begging for his touch, to be relieved. Mingyu smiles, ecstatic upon your words, hungry lips finding yours for a kiss. You moan at the contact, pussy clenching around nothing. 

“As my princess wishes.” He hums, pulling down your dress to reveal your bra. His pupils dilate at the sight in front of him. Even when he dragged down the straps of your bra with his teeth, he didn’t think you’d be wearing a rather provocative lacey piece today. “Fuck,” Mingyu bunches up your dress around your waist, a groan escaping him.

Is this another fantasy of his? Cause no, fuck, you sure do look like it. 

The delicate lace work barely covers anything, his cock throbbing inside the confines of his boxer-briefs. He feels like he’s high. “Baby,” your boyfriend rasps, “do you even understand what you do to me? Hm?” 

“You like it?” your voice is a whisper, fingers digging into his shoulder from nervousness. A part of you knows the answer already, but still, hearing it out loud from him always makes you feel butterflies. 

“You’re really asking me that? Fuck, I love it, you’re so fucking pretty, I can’t believe that you’re real, and mine.” Mingyu groans, one of his hands reaching for your bra and pulling at its cups. His mouth immediately attaches to your left breast as soon as it is released. You gasp, body quivering at the touch. He bites and suckles on the soft flesh teasingly before reaching for your hardened nipple. 

You whimper out his name, fingers gripping on his hair. The way his tongue swirls around and suckles on the sensitive bundle of nerves makes you dizzy. More arousal leaks out of your core, desperation cresting higher and higher. You need him in you, right now.

But Mingyu is lost in your breasts, reaching for your right one after a while, teeth dragging over the nipple before his tongue slurps at it. You quiver and whine in his arms from all the sensations you’re feeling. He knows exactly what to do to make you feel good, and he never slacks off at that. 

“You’re so perfect, my little angel.” Mingyu hums, his right hand groping your left boob. “Fits so perfectly in my hand, so cute,” he murmurs before looking up at you. As he meets your tearful eyes, he loses a bit more of his sanity. 

“Damn it, you look so—” he stops short, breathing heavily. Will he ever get used to the way you look during intimacy? Probably not. The flushed face, teary eyes and parted lips always gets him.

“Gyu,” you whine, hugging him tightly. “It hurts, please do something,” your whisper is hot against the shell of his ear. Mingyu can’t help but smirk, wondering if he should tease you. “Need you in me.” your sweet plea stirs him, more blood rushing towards the south.

“Fuck it.” He reaches between your thighs, cupping your pussy. The soaked, warm fabric makes him growl. Your hips immediately start rocking, generating friction — something you’ve been craving for so long now. You sigh in relief, using his hand to stimulate yourself.

“What if someone sees you like this right now? So needy, humping my hand?” Mingyu asks, amused. Goosebumps spread over your skin, and you hide your face in the crook of his neck. However, you don’t stop moving your hips, inner walls clenching in desperation. 

“Do–don’t say that,” you whimper, “so embarrassing.” 

“Is that so? But you’re still rubbing into my hand, though.” 

“It’s because you won’t help me…” 

Mingyu can’t help but chuckle, his thumb finding your clit and pressing on it firmly. You scream out, a strong pulse of pleasure spreading through your nerves. He shushes you, alarmed. “Shh, you can’t be so loud today, baby… what if someone hears you and decides to check what’s going on?” 

You bite your tongue, absorbing his words. The thought paralyzes you from embarrassment, but for some reason, your pussy has a mind of its own. “It’s all your fault,” you croon, “it’s all because you can’t control yourself.” 

“I already said this like a hundred times, but, you look so fucking pretty in this cute little dress, baby. So fucking pretty. How am I supposed to control myself? When all I can think about is ruining my sweet angel?” Mingyu rasps, his calloused fingers rubbing your clit in tight circles. You’re certain that your legs will give up at this rate, your whole body teetering from the stimulation. 

“Bu–but—” you lower your voice to a whisper, “people will catch us like this, what then?” He presses a fleeting kiss on the corner of your lips, pushing the soaked lace of your thong to the side and sliding his middle finger between your labia against your slit. You swallow back a moan, biting the inside of your cheek.

“Guess you’re gonna have to keep it quiet in that case.” Mingyu pushes the digit into your sopping hole, making a ‘shlick’ sound that surprises both of you. “Fuck, did you hear that? Did you hear how wet you are for me?” You squeeze him in response, nerve endings on fire. It feels so incredibly good to finally have something fill your aching core. 

“Move, please,” you whimper, getting impatient. As if to test you, he slowly starts dragging his finger down, before pushing it back inside in a rough manner. You muffle your squeal against his shoulder, overwhelmed yet wanting more of him.

Soon enough, Mingyu loses the patience to tease you, his own urges kicking in. His ring finger slides into the depths of your molten warmth as well, your walls clenching around him from excitement. “You drive me fucking crazy,” he hisses under his breath. Slow, languid movements let him feel the way your arousal coats his skin in a silky veil, making him feel kind of suffocated around his crotch.

“Baby,” you whine, “wan’ more, please.” The burning ache for a release fires through your system, every single one of your cells begging for more. A breathy laugh rings in your ears, to your dismay.

“Want what exactly, love?” Mingyu’s eyes are twinkling with mischief, knowing very well that he’s pushing your boundaries right now. 

“Harder,” your choked whisper is hot against the shell of his ear. He clenches his teeth, thumb pressing down onto the swollen nub before anything. A gasp escapes you, face falling to rest in the crook of his neck, breathing uneven. His fingers pick up speed eventually, your lower stomach in knots, a shiver running down your spine. If your mouth wasn’t pressed up against his skin, you probably would’ve blabbered about how good he’s making you feel. 

It doesn’t take long for you to crest up towards the pinnacle, whole body convulsing, preparing itself for the rushing relief it’s about to experience. Mingyu, knowing very well that you’re about to finish, adds a third digit into your slippery warmth, seemingly triggering your orgasm. You muffle your cries in his neck, falling onto him as your legs give up entirely. He holds you securely with his free arm, feeling kinda dizzy himself. His neck is all slobbered up, covered with messy bites you left while trying to silence yourself. 

It takes you longer than usual to recover, finding the strength to stand on your knees. Blood rushes to your face when you regard the state of your boyfriend’s neck, even the collar of his black polo a victim to your actions. Mingyu, on the other hand, barely holding on, finally starts to pull out his fingers from your pussy, your juices leaking out on his hand profusely from the movement. A breathy whimper escapes you, nerves alight for pleasure once again. 

“Fuck, take a look at this,” He holds up his hand between you two, the slightly viscous liquid catching the sunlight and glowing, making you flush. “You treat me s’well, baby, servin’ me liquid gold.” His words only make you even more embarrassed, eyes avoiding him at all costs. The lewd sound of his slurping sends a tingle through your core, droopy eyes shyly catching him lick his fingers clean. You shudder a little when he moans satisfactorily, eyes trained on you the whole time.

In a sudden surge of boldness, you reach out to caress his jawline, bringing him closer for a kiss. Mingyu hums, a smile forming on his lips before attacking your mouth with full force. You gasp and moan while he finds his way to your tongue, the growingly familiar taste of yourself on his saliva causing a new surge of arousal to your core. Quite desperate to feel him now, you fumble with the button on his trousers blindly, undoing it quickly before reaching for the zipper. 

“Fuck,” Mingyu pulls away with a hiss, his stomach tightening from the feeling of your hand lightly pressing onto his clothed cock. Your eyes greedily devour the outline of his boner, almost poking at the material of his boxer briefs. Pussy clenching at the thought of him filling you up, you pull at the waistband of his underwear. 

“My god, Mingyu,” you swallow nervously, unsure how to react as his heavy cock springs out of its confines, slapping against his tummy. You’ve never seen it this angry and twitching, head covered with a light sheen of his pre-cum. Heart almost beating out of your chest, you reach for him, hands delicately wrapping around his length and giving it a few, slow pumps. 

“Baby, fuck—” His eyes shut close, teeth digging into his plump lower lip to restrict any noises. With your thumb, you spread the gathering pre-cum all over his tip, making him whimper in the process. If you don’t get fucked right now, you might just lose your mind. 

“Need you,” you whisper, pressing a fleeting kiss on his nose. Mingyu looks as if he’s pained, a defeated sigh escaping him. 

“My love, I– I need you too. So, so bad, can’t explain.” His eyes tear up suddenly, “B-but—” 

“What happened…?” You ask, alarmed by his expression.

“I— I don’t have a condom.” He frowns, wrapping his arms around your back and burying his face in the comfort of your chest. “I’m so sorry, baby.” Your heart drops to your stomach because of how devastating his tone is. 

“Nooo! It’s okay… um, we didn’t know this would happen, y’know? So, um, don’t apologize, please. And don’t talk like that.” You nudge him to look at you. 

“Yeah but… what are we gonna do now? We agreed to be safe from the beginning, so–”

“Well, I’m on birth control for my periods either way, so it’s okay.” You cut him off, desperate for him at this point. 

Mingyu looks up at you, hesitant. “Angel, are you really sure about that?”

A sigh escapes you. You know why he is feeling uncertain, you know that you are the reason. “Gyu, I don’t know anything, but I might just go crazy if you don’t fuck me right now.”

He inhales a shaky breath, your words toying with the few last strings of self-control left in him. “Okay, what about this — I’ll only put the tip inside, make you feel super good so you come quickly for me, and then I’ll pull out before I make a mess.” 

Your body shakes from anticipation. “Just the tip?” 

“Just the tip, baby.” 

Even though it’s not exactly what you had in your mind, you agree quickly. Anything to have him inside you. Also, you’re not too sure how that will possibly work out. You’re almost certain that you’ll end up getting more than just the tip.

Mingyu grabs your waist to position you right on top of him, the urgency in his actions painfully obvious. You gladly comply, too needy to say anything. As you feel his bulbous tip lining up against your entrance, you lean in to touch your foreheads together. “Gyu, I can’t wait anymore, need you right now.” 

With a groan, he slowly guides you down his length, only letting his tip and the following inch inside. You whimper, struggling a little as you get used to the stretch. It’s kind of astonishing how even just that fills you up satisfactorily. But still, you crave all of him, your body knowing the euphoria of having him up in the furthest nooks of your pussy very well. “You’re so big,” you murmur, inner walls clenching around him greedily, eager for more. Mingyu huffs out deep breaths, his ears turning red. How cute.

He collects himself in a moment, firm hands around your hips to make sure you don’t slide down further than he intends to give you today. “You feel s’good, so wet and hot, I feel like I’ll melt.” Mingyu sighs, helping you ride him, his thumb rolling your clit in lazy circles. 

You muffle your cries as he moves your hips in a slow and steady pace, inevitably sliding down his cock, little by little. However, he doesn’t really notice it, lost in the feeling of your pussy squeezing him so deliciously. “Gyu, harder,” you plead, a bit tired of this torturously slow pace. 

Mingyu complies almost immediately, pulling you even closer, his own hips bucking up to meet you halfway, while he continues to guide your movements. You moan out happily, arms winding around his neck. His thrusts are shallow, but the frenzied movements trigger more pleasure in you.

Eventually, he loses control over your movements, momentarily giving up against the fiery impulses running through his nerves. With all the lubrication between you two, you slide down as much as possible with nothing to restrict you. A string of incoherent words leave you, your body extremely giddy to get what you’ve wanted for so long. 

“Fuck, no, this isn’t working,” Mingyu finally regains his senses, groaning as the untouched parts of his cock are engulfed by your warmth. He swiftly pins you down on an empty side of the picnic blanket. “Bad, bad girl.” 

You squirm under him, whining while he pulls out of you, until only the tip is inside. “Now tell me, what should I do, now that you’ve broken our little deal.”

“Fuck me.” you whimper, your eyes teary by now. Mingyu tuts, shaking his head. You try your best to channel your pitiful, puppy dog eyes, ready to beg if that’s necessary.

“Such crude words from my sweet, little angel.” He sighs, “You’re really into testing my patience, aren’t you? Does it make you happy? Watching me lose my senses over your words?” 

“Don’t hold yourself back, please. I want to make you feel good too. Please, Gyu. Fuck me, make me yours, I don’t even care if people see or hear us anymore. Please.” Your voice is broken, tears threatening to spill out of your eyes. Mingyu swallows nervously.

“Fucking hell.” The growled expletive marks the end of whatever self-control shit he was on. With one hard thrust, he smoothly fills up your touch-starved pussy entirely, coaxing out a loud moan of relief from you. His right hand immediately covers your mouth. “You might not care about some rando catching us like this anymore but I’ll be damned if someone sees you like this.” 

Mingyu lets go of your wrists, putting his left hand on the small of your back to support your body. “Don’t you dare complain about how you can’t walk later. You brought this upon yourself, remember.” He nibbles on your earlobe teasingly before starting to move against you. His thrusts are on the rougher side, your stomach tightening as the pleasure starts to build-up. 

With your free hands, you reposition his palm covering your mouth, suckling on his fingers instead. In response, you feel his cock twitch so vividly in your pussy, a groan reverberating in his throat. “You’re a fucking menace, you know that?” 

Mingyu pounds into you in a frenzy, quite obsessed with the raw feeling of your spongy flesh gushing around his cock. You moan and cry around his fingers, clenching happily as you feel your release right around the corner. He also picks up his pace, grinding down onto your clit in the process. Your brain has lost all the critical thinking power, salty streaks running down your cheeks as you’re overwhelmed by the sensations.

You remove his fingers from your mouth, desperate to be heard. “‘m gonna come–” 

“Fuck, come for me, love, I’m gonna pull out,” Mingyu grunts, his pace faltering as his movements lose rhythm, inching closer to his own release.

“No, no— come in me, baby. Please. Don’t ruin my dress.” He has no idea what you are on about, but he’d be lying if he said that it doesn’t sound tempting.

“Princess, do you even know what you’re saying?” He still asks, praying that you come back to your senses, for both of your good.

“I want you to come in me.” You manage to blurt out before your body convulses as the orgasm hits, gummy walls squeezing his cock to a halt. Mingyu curses under his breath, putting his fingers back in your mouth before you can scream your lungs out. Soon enough, he also reaches his peak, the thick, milky white liquid filling up your pussy to the brim. 

“_____, fuck…” he whimpers, reveling in the newfound intimacy between you. You urge him to lay on top of you, arms wrapping around his neck to pull him in for a kiss.

“Gyu,” you whisper, “you mean so much to me.” Mingyu nuzzles your face adoringly, pressing butterfly kisses over your bare skin, wherever he can reach.

“And to me, you’re like the sun.” His silly words make you laugh.

“Why’s that?” 

“Because I’m like the earth orbiting around you, thriving because of your warmth and light?”

You flush at his words, beyond touched that he’d think of you in such a beautiful way. “You make me sound so insincere, Gyu.” Mingyu laughs at your pout, starting to get back up. 

“Yeah well, I still have to figure out what your flowers mean, remember?” He reaches for the packet of napkins lying nearby, sighing at the sight in front of his eyes.

“Yeah…” you trail off, “Do that once you’re home, okay?” He nods, seemingly distracted.

“I’m sorry love, I made such a mess.” 

“We.” 

“Hm?” 

“We made a mess. So don’t be sorry. I’ll help you clean up.” You offer him a smile, which he matches happily. 

Mingyu scrutinizes you one last time, making sure that you look presentable from head to toe. “Yeah, everything looks okay… except that your dress is all wrinkled…”

“I told you it’s fine, I’ll fix it up after a wash, don’t worry!” You reassure him, redoing your braid. “And please wash this outfit as soon as you get home, okay? I know it all dried up now, but still…” 

“I could say the same about your panties.” He chuckles, raising his eyebrows at you. 

“Yeah, but I doubt it’ll be wearable after today.” You sigh, checking yourself on your selfie camera. “C’mon, let’s go now. It’s afternoon already!” 

Mingyu hands you your basket, holding your free hand as you slowly take a few steps. “Are you sure you can walk?” 

“Yes, positive! I have to get home somehow.” You smile through a wince, making him shake his head. 

“Let’s go to my place. You can go back tomorrow morning after you’ve recovered from the pain. I’ll cook us dinner, help you take a bath, give you meds and cuddle you to sleep.” Mingyu offers, pushing off the bushes so that you guys can finally leave your little sanctuary. 

You both step out on the nearby trail, intertwining your fingers together back again. “Why do you always make it so hard to decline, Gyu?” He gives your hand a firm squeeze, winking at you playfully. 

“It’s a part of the package, baby.” His cocky chuckle infuriates you, but lord, is he right about that. 

This man might just be the end of you. But would you really mind it?

end of act one ♡ next

˗ˏˋ꒰ 💌 end notes ꒱

wahhh you made it to the end!! thank you so much for reading 🥹🫶🏼; i apologize if there are any mistakes in there, this is very roughly edited jdjfhfjhjff!! BUT i really hope that this was enjoyable and i was able to portray the lovebirds well 🤭! do let me know what you thought of this, please! reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated <333! you can also send feedback through asks if you’d prefer that! 💖

until next time!

p.s: i’m pretty new to caratblr and i’d be grateful if you guys could recommend me some blogs to follow 🥺... (you can recommend your own blog as well)!

R.I.P Van Der Linde Gang 💔 You would have loved:

(seen a few ppl do this,, if you started this definitely lmk and I’ll credit u !!)

updated to add Kieran and Sean

Dutch - Self help books, those podcasts where people give you terribly incorrect health information and claim that they’re doctors

Uncle - The massage chairs in malls, Frank Gallagher, insane reddit stories that definitely never happened, scamming disability cheques from the government

Abigail - iPhone’s share your location feature, the Parent Teacher Association, audiobooks

Arthur - Remote control racing cars (aarwh it’s a toy boat!), the catch and cook youtube videos, Cowboy Carter by Beyoncé, free healthcare mayhaps…..

John - Maury, The sassy man apocalypse on TikTok, Sitting and watching Bluey in a trance with Abigail after Jack has already gone to bed

Miss Grimshaw - Supernanny, Judge Judy, Spas, Massages, Bear Grylls probably, Bed Bath and Beyond

Sadie - Streetwear, absolutely bodying men on FPS games, Rage rooms

Charles - Axe throwing to get the frustration out, wildlife protection acts, David Attenborough, ATLA

Javier - The head massage you get when you get your hair washed at the salon, edibles, Guitar Hero, collecting vinyls

Hosea - Game shows like The Chase and Deal or No Deal, Dolly Parton probably, cruises, community libraries where you take a book and leave a book behind

Strauss - Cryptocurrency, whatsapp scams

Mary-Beth - Wattpad, Ao3, Booktok, you name it. Those fanfic movie adaptations like After, 50 shades of Grey etc, Cottagecore aesthetic, Taylor Swift, TikTok edits, Bridgerton

Tilly - Those ‘Day in the Life of’ Tiktoks, Jazz bars, Chloe x Halle, cruises as well

Karen - How To Get Away With Murder, Bottomless brunch, Reality shows with a bunch of drama like Love Island or Married at First Sight, Ru Paul’s Drag Race

Bill - Mardi Gras, Brokeback Mountain 😋, Home Depot, probably, those giant American cars that are on the verge of being trucks, Call of Duty

Pearson - Those late night infomercials that show random kitchen utensils like a garlic mincer or a nutribullet blender, Reddit, Spending money on E-Harmony, standing in the club and staring awkwardly at a woman, Dungeons and Dragons

Lenny - Online self paced university, Jordan Peele movies, Studio Ghibli movies, Noise cancelling headphones, The Last of Us

Kieran - Animal crossing, Saddle Club, the Wikihow “how to talk to girls” page, taking horrible advice from tik tok just because the person who posted it sounded trustworthy, astrology probably

Sean - Getting drunk at local football games and heckling the other team, claiming he’s not into Karen’s reality shows but then standing there watching the whole episode with his arms crossed while asking her about every single person and their drama, would most definitely be famous for yapping on Twitter, Derry Girls would be his fave show

Got out of class early so mayhaps I will take a fat edibles and do some spring cleaning

ya know, seeing you guys reminded me of maybe remaking/revamping my edit blog.. ehehe! mayhap i can make it more in-theme with my current fixations (since the blog 'twas based upon my old fixation at the time)

-🎠

Hi anon!!!

Omg I'd love that!!! You should, also if you do tag us in a promo so we can promote it :3 tbh editing is only fun when you do it for your passions! It would be fun to see a Maimaimaigoen themed edit blog (if you based it around something else that would be fun too!!!)

Tbh I want to get into the editing community more I am just intimidated by most editors like HOW do you take images look edible /lh

Potsum, Argyle, and Airplane au

Kingdom Kai:I did it I found Eddie's dice bag

https://at.tumblr.com/bunjywunjy/figdays-possum-dice-bag-rozedecoton/ooh2e0n58pqa

freckles 🧸:

i want that

i wouldnt even put dice in it.

itd just be like a snack bag

elliee:

can you imagine you're at work and you pull this bad boy out of your bag and just holds like... a singular dorito

freckles 🧸:

PERFECT

yes.

be sitting on meetings like hey yall check this out

and its like four goldfishcrackers

Kingdom Kai:

Lmao pass the possum see what snacks you find

freckles 🧸 :

PASS THE POSSUM!

nikki the first 👑 :

store weed in there

oh this? this is my weed possum

lettersinthesand :

PFFFT eddie just pulling that out whenever he's doing a drug deal

Au where everything is the same except in the forest scene with chrissy that's what he pulls out

freckles 🧸 :

I mean it’s infinitely less assuming than a mystery metal box

Who would assume pot is in a possum

A POTSUM

lettersinthesand:

POTSUM

lettersinthesand :

Exactly

Hbdhsgs hopper catching him dealing and being like "whatcha got there kid" and Eddie is like "a possum, officer. Is there a problem with that?"

freckles 🧸:

Just like this lmao

Image

rat (babygirl Steddie truther):

Fully into this as long as it’s not acknowledged like everything is EXACTLY the same he just has the potsum

kesbird:

lmao!

lettersinthesand: YEAH

lettersinthesand: PFFFFT YEAH

kesbird:

Chrissy who thought he was mean and scary sees him rip out that bad boy out and is like ah yes what a funky little dude

lettersinthesand:

Exactly

freckles 🧸:

He pulls out the possum and Chrissy is just like you know life is already so fucking weird

lettersinthesand :

Jason: you are a SATANIST

Eddie: would a satanist own this? No

lettersinthesand:

Hbfhshshshf YEAH

kesbird :

He’s my emotional support weed possum officer

freckles 🧸 :

Emotional support medicinal potsum

lettersinthesand :

Jbfjdhshstsgsgdhh

Eddie has definitely pulled some really bad excuses for what his drugs actually are

freckles 🧸 :

He gets nervous on airplanes obv

kesbird:

Lmao I’m still writing that anxious on a plane Eddie au

lettersinthesand:

Exactly

lettersinthesand:

👀

freckles 🧸:

Image

Trying to get drugs like this

kesbird :

Should I add the potsum to that??? Like you can’t smoke on airplanes but mayhaps an edible

Idk I think it would be hilarious though

lettersinthesand :

👀 yes

freckles 🧸 :

Kai gonna look in here and see the whole tangent we’ve went on for the potsum

lettersinthesand :

Rip kai

kesbird:

RIP Kai!

Lol

freckles 🧸:

But yes please let the potsum on the plane

Im gonna type that enough that google is gonna stop trying to correct it and if I ever have to actually type possum again it’s gonna be like wtf

lettersinthesand :

Idk if anyone is with him in this but Steve seeing it and being like "that's illegal as fuck Eddie" and Eddie being like "well they can't exactly find it if it's already in me"

lettersinthesand:

Gvdgsgd

kesbird:

Fldoejsn I’m stealing that 💀

Steve’s the flight attendant

freckles 🧸 :

Little late for that Stevie boy. What are they gonna do? Make me throw it up?

lettersinthesand:

Hbdhsgdv YEAH

lettersinthesand:

Please do

Natalie (angst train conducto): Being high isn’t a crime, possession is. Eat it quick.

lettersinthesand :

Omggg what happens then?

lettersinthesand :

This

freckles 🧸 :

Okay but Eddie realizing he can’t take them on the plane for whatever reason and he just eats a ton of them so they don’t go to waste

So he’s just fucking blitzed on this flight

lettersinthesand:

PFFFT

Yes

I kinda wanna see him and argyle paired up in this scenario it would absolutely kill me

kesbird:

Yeah it started out as a nervous on a plane Eddie and possibly mile high club and evolved from there

lettersinthesand:

Omg

freckles 🧸 :

Argyle and Eddie stoned off their fucking asses

Steve is not paid enough for this

lettersinthesand:

Hbdjshehdhs

Yeah and in the airport like

kesbird:

In my au its gonna be rockstar Eddie finally having to get on a plane instead of just using his bus although somehow he gets booked on a different flight and Steve is there just watching this dude lose it

rat (babygirl Steddie truther) — Today at 1:34 PM

I will say I’ve snuck edibles onto planes many many times

freckles 🧸:

Steve who hears people fangirl over him constantly watching him cry about his feet being missing or some shit

lettersinthesand :

Eddie- oh shit

Argyle - what

Eddie - i forgot to get rid of the edibles

Argyle - eat them

Eddie - what

Argyle- you heard me, dude! Eat them! Quickly!

kesbird:

I was switching between steve being like this business man sitting next to him who’s been on a billion flights and is trying to get this guy not to throw up on him or being the flight attendant I am still stuck lol

lettersinthesand:

Omg

freckles 🧸:

“This is what they’re in love with?”

A few hours later - Oh fuck.

lettersinthesand:

Ooohh both are so good tho

lettersinthesand:

Hbdhsgsg YEAH

kesbird:

Argyle - and give me one too bro

lettersinthesand:

Argyle would eat half of them

freckles 🧸:

How did you guys meet?

He was stoned off his ass crying in the window on the plane.

lettersinthesand:

And now we're married!

kesbird:

Pffffttt

freckles 🧸: But argyle would be able to do it and be totally normal or at least pass as normal

lettersinthesand:

Tbh

He's just always kind of weird so what's a little weirder

kesbird:

Argyle is just vibing and Eddie’s over there seeing the hat man or some shit lmao

lettersinthesand:

(That's why my sister never comes across as weird when she's drunk. She's just always like that)

freckles 🧸:

Nobody assumes he’s higher than normal. That’s just him 😂

lettersinthesand :

Hbdtsrddhsgd

lettersinthesand:

Yes

kesbird :

His blood stream at this point is always a little bit green let’s be real

lettersinthesand :

Yes

freckles 🧸:

I’m just imagining argyles face being all 😊😊😊 on the plane but Eddie’s is like 😧😧😧

rat:

Can also confirm that flying in a plane stoned on edibles is terrifying if something goes wrong

kesbird :

Eddie’s two seconds from scratching out the windows and Argyles like “hey man here’s some Doritos for you and the spirits”

freckles 🧸 :

It is a damn sin we never got Eddie argyle interactions because I feel like they would have been great

kesbird:

RIGHT

freckles 🧸:

If you feed the hat man he’ll go away

kesbird :

I need more argyle and Eddie fics

He likes Doritos guard them well

freckles 🧸 :

So Eddie’s just laying Doritos on the ground of the aisle way. And Steve keeps having to pick them up.

So eddie thinks the hat man is eating them but really it’s just the very tired underpaid flight attendant who wants to yeet him out of the plane

kesbird:

Like fucking monsters inc lmao

freckles 🧸 :

Steve walks by as he’s putting one down and he’s like IF THAT TOUCHES THE FLOOR SO HELP ME

kesbird:

All the other passengers are just like “what the FUCK is that strange child doing”

freckles 🧸 :

Steve just wants the plane to land

kesbird :

Finally gets one of those blankets out and practically secured him to the seat and give both Argyle and Eddie like a pudding cup or some shit because the orange dust everywhere is killing him robin the other flight attendant who has been NO HELP is cackling on the other side of the plane

freckles 🧸:

What is a flight attendant if not a sky babysitter

@medlilove she/her 🤘🏻:

My sister is a flight attendant. They get HARDCORE first aid training so that could be fun to include

Vega :

I am Begging you to tag me when it's done

freckles 🧸:

Same because I’m loving this entire convo

kesbird :

I’m writing it! I’ve been so busy lately all my fics have been on the back burner 😭 BUT FOR YOU ANYTHING

Im probs gonna go with the business man vibe and then possibly write a Drabble of the argyle and Eddie with Steve flight attendant one because honestly gold

freckles 🧸 :

I keep telling myself no more ideas until at least one WIP is finished

kesbird :

SAME

freckles 🧸 :

stares sadly at all the google docs

kesbird :

And than y’all happen and I get the big googley gay eyes and think my idea eyes are bigger then my writing stomach lol

Google docs is a graveyard at this point that I am slowly trying to do necromancy on

freckles 🧸 :

EXACTLY! Y’all give me ideas and I’m like well fuck I gotta do it

Hence my amnesia and god aus

Vega :

I'm just so thrilled that my steddie on a plane idea took flight cuz i would not have been able to write it myself heheh 😇

kesbird :

It was too good to pass up!!

Kingdom Kai:

Image

Yum yum, bees sure are,, edible

Take a bite mayhaps? Bite sized!

Rating Every Song on Fearless Based on How Gay it is

Hello friends! I still have a few song analyses in the pipeline (and one on Lover the album) but today in honor of Fearless (Taylor’s Edition) being announced and Love Story being released in a few hours I thought I’d do something fun to celebrate!

And you know what? Fuck my usual disclaimer, I am the word of god here. Try and change my mind about any of these. I dare you. (I kid I kid this isn’t that serious and you’re free to disagree <3)

1. Fearless 15/10

Everything about this song is so fucking gay oh my god. This isn’t a fruit, this is a whole ass edible arrangement. As a small rural town Gay (my hometown has a population of less that 4,000 and where I’m living now has a population of 2,500) this uh. Hits.

“And I don't know how it gets better than this/You take my hand and drag me head first, fearless”

Y’ALL

The idea of falling in love with someone who makes you less afraid of your homophobic small town…….it’s getting to me.

“My hands shake, I'm not usually this way but/You pull me in and I'm a little more brave/It's the first kiss, it's flawless, really something/It's fearless”

This is making me emotional, I'll be honest. I see so much of my friends and my experience in high school in this song. 

This quote I found on genius is from when the album was released on BMR’s website.

“When I wrote ‘Fearless,’ I wasn’t dating anyone. I wasn’t even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I really was all by myself out on tour and I got this idea for a song about the best first date. I think sometimes when you’re writing love songs, you don’t write them about what you’re going through at the moment, you write about what you wish you had. So, this song is about the best first date I haven’t had yet.”

This just screams baby Tay writing gay folklore to me, about the gay stories she wish she had. Notice how there are no pronouns in this song??? Fruity I’m telling you.

All that to say. I’m crying because the linear note says “I loved you before I met you” and I want to go listen to Long Story Short and cry now.

2. Fifteen 1/10

Objectively pretty straight as she’s singing about her and Abigail’s dating boys in HS. And Taylor got with a senior guy. Good for her I suppose.

Unless he was one of the shitty ones in which case.

“This is life before you know who you're gonna be”

This however, is a cute line and the whole song makes me warm and nostalgic. You can also hear her crying after the line “and Abigail gave everything she had to a boy who changed his mind” which makes me emo and I’m sure will take on new depth after Abigail’s divorce and hurt me even more.

Other highlights that make me sob include.

“When all you wanted was to be wanted/Wish you could go back and tell yourself what you know now/Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday/But I realized some bigger dreams of mine”

Bigger dreams of hers indeed :’)

(Also how can you say she’s a gold star lesbian when this song exists. She was obviously dating boys in high school and even if you think she’s a lesbian. Comp het is a hell of a drug kids.)

3. Love Story 8/10

Tried to change the ending indeed.

This is THE Taylor Swift song, and maybe it’s the nostalgia talking but damn I still love it. Written because she wanted to change the ending of Romeo and Juliet (how anyone likes RandJ enough to want to rewrite I have no clue.) and/or because her parents didn’t approve of a guy she was seeing. (according to genius, it would’ve been too early for Joe J so it could possibly be Boys Like Girls frontman, his image did clash with hers and they did release some cute songs together. However if you want my take it’s probably folklore about Emily, take for what you will)

This song has very oft gay vibes with the ‘They don’t approve of our love angle!’ but uses male pronouns so points redacted for that. HOWEVER this is a very early use of ~the male perspective~ in Taylor’s songs and for that it deserves all the love.

“ So I sneak out to the garden to see you/We keep quiet, 'cause we're dead if they knew/So close your eyes/Escape this town for a little while”

More rural town angst!!!

Nothing gets me more than rural town angst.

“Romeo, save me, they're trying to tell me how to feel/This love is difficult, but it's real”

Originally the lyric was “this love is different”. Granted I do not remember the source, i’s just lore implanted into my brain, but make of that what you will.

“"Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone/I love you, and that's all I really know/I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress/It's a love story, baby, just say "Yes"”

Marry me Juliet from the male perspective :)

Also worth noting. This is Karlie’s (and Kim K’s lmao) favorite Taylor song which. While basic as hell. Makes this cover sad as hell to this former Kaylor. (thanks @swiftgron-get-married for the tears <3)

Also not to make this about a man AGAIN but the secret message is “Some day I’ll find this” AND SHE DID IM CRYING.

4. Hey Stephen 1/10

The one thing Camilla Cabello and I have in common is loving this song, so I have to live with that for the rest of my life.

This song is very painfully straight.

How can you think this woman is a gold star lesbian.

The only noteworthy thing is that this is one of the few songs she confirms who it’s about. The secret message is “Love and Theft” which is the name of a country music duo who went on to open her Fearless tour. Which, does make me side eye this song a little bit.

Still a cute song.

“Hey Stephen, boy, you might have me believing/I don't always have to be alone”

5. White Horse 1/10

Oh look. It’s track five. 

You know maybe this is just me being a bitch but in my ranking of track fives this is. Pretty low. Maybe on the bottom.

Like I don’t have a lot to say about it. 

She’s going through it over a guy. He was a cheating dickweazel. 

“'Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale/I'm gonna find someone someday/Who might actually treat me well”

“Try and catch me now, oh/It's too late/To catch me now”

These lines hit though!!

And she found Joe!! Who treats her well!!!! And she isn’t the princess, she’s the prince who dropped her sword and knocked on her door!!! But this time if they come for them she’s ready!!!

Yes I will make every song about Long Story Short <3

6. You Belong With Me 5/10

Ah yes. The other THE Taylor Swift song.

You know. If I went to a high school with a cheerleading squad. And I had a crush on a cheerleader. I would blast this song. So for that it gets a 5/10. Otherwise. Fairly straight and fairly iconic.

7. Breathe 8/10

Well. We know this one is about a woman. (Emily Poe for those not in the know. Ha. A rhyme!) That alone has an 8/10. And it’s the first time she has a featured artist so bonus points for that!

It was nominated for a Grammy and it fucking lost to Jason Mraz. When’s the last time you thought about Jason Mraz.

I will not have Kaylor feels on a fucking Fearless song but damn is it VERY easy.

“Never a clean break, no one here to save me/You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand”

“It's 2 A.M, feeling like I just lost a friend/Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me”

Also this bridge? Goes off. HIGHLY underrated. 

8. Tell Me Why 3/10

You know. Maybe this album isn’t as gay as I once thought.

This song does bop though, not as good as her other angry songs on this album. But I can vibe with this you know. Why are you being an asshole mysterious man.

“You could write a book on how to ruin someone's perfect day”

This has to be one of baby Tay’s best burns. Damn. 

“Why do you have to make me feel small/So you can feel whole inside?/Why do you have to put down my dreams/So you're the only thing on my mind?”

Men ain’t shit kids. However, bonus points for the shade. 

9. You’re not Sorry 1/10

Ok, ok. Maybe this was a foolish endeavor.

Because yet again we have a very straight song. A good song. That was on Taylor’s episode of CSI. But oh dear. Very straight. Gets a measly one point. We started this post off so very very gay but damn. We seem to be nearing the end on a very straight note.

10. The Way I Loved You 20/10

Hey Remember what I said about this album being very straight.

WELL THAT WAS A LIE.

Is this a comphet album or am I projecting.

This is one of my favorite baby gay Taylor songs. Her masterful use of pronouns (he is sensible! And so incredible! And all my single friends are jealous! But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain, when it was two am and I was cursing your name!) makes the other person she’s singing about completely vague, while we know she isn’t happy with whichever guy she’s dating.

Mayhaps an early reaction to PRomances?

Either way this song is so good, truly an underrated gay gem I mean. Look at it.

“Breaking down and coming undone/It's a roller coaster kind of rush/And I never knew I could feel that much/And that's the way I loved you”

AND THE BRIDGE. Do all of her gay songs just have kickass bridges?

“He can't see the smile I'm faking/And my heart's not breaking/'Cause I'm not feeling anything at all/And you were wild and crazy/Just so frustrating/Intoxicating, complicated/Got away by some mistake and now…”

Damn. I’m imaging this with 2020 vocals and fucking ascending.

Also please watch the live performance of it from the Fearless tour. It’s such a damn shame this got cut from the movie and some woman in the front row is wearing a cowboy hat. Everyone is holding up those cameras everyone had to have before smartphones. Taylor is being endearing. It’s a good time.

11. Forever and Always 6/10

Bonus points for the ~drama~ of it all. Added last minute to the album? The iconic throwing of the chair in live performances?? All of it very dramatique and for that we stan.

Still pretty straight.

Also Joe Jonas responded to the song and why do I find his response so damn funny. “It’s part of being a musician, I guess. You write songs about each other.”

This is another song where the idea of Taylor’s grown up vocals on this is………..whew

12. The Best Day 0/10

This gets zero points because it’s about her literal mom.

Still makes me cry.

God bless Andrea Swift indeed

13. Change 13/10

We start the official tracklist with a gay song. We end it with a gay song.

We will ignore that it was originally written for Scott and BMR and instead induct it into the hall of gay pride anthems, as it should be. 

“We're getting stronger now, finding things they never found/They might be bigger but we're faster and never scared/You can walk away, say we don't need this/But there's something in your eyes says we can beat this”

“This revolution, the time will come/For us to finally win/And we'll sing hallelujah, we'll sing hallelujah”

The music video is cringe though lol

14. Jump then Fall 10/10

This song is gay because I choose it to be. <3

Like. Picture baby Taylor writing this song and playing it on her guitar to a girl she has a crush on telling her that she’ll protect her and they’ll be safe and in love and happy together. Gah, maybe I’m ~projecting~ but this sweet ass song always gets me and is EASILY in my top five Taylor songs. Super underrated and hecking cute. 

“We're on the phone and without a warning/I realize your laugh is the best sound/I have ever heard”

Like. Look at this shit.

“I watch you talk, you didn't notice/I hear the words but all I can think is/We should be together”

Tell me this is about the first time you get a crush on a girl and she’s your best friend and she’s amazing and beautiful and you realize you kinda want to kiss her and you hope she wants to kiss you too.

“I had time to think it oh, over/And all I can say is come closer/Take a deep breath and jump then fall into me”

And she’s the Romeo who's going to protect her!!!!! She’s the knight in shining armor in this song and I love that for her??

“The bottom's gonna drop out from under our feet/I'll catch you, I'll catch you/When people say things that bring you to your knees/I'll catch you/The time is gonna come when you're so mad you could cry/But I'll hold you through the night until you smile”

I won’t divulge into full on analysis here because. This is what this post is about but PLEASE listen to this song more. It’s such a gay little gem.

15. Untouchable 9/10

How does she make a cover sound gay.

It sounds so gay.

“You got to come on, come on, say that we'll be together/Come on, come on, little taste of heaven”

Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

16. Forever and Always Piano Version 1/10

This song gets 1/10 because I don’t like it. There. I said it.

17. Come in With the Rain 3/10

I can see why this is a bonus track. It doesn’t hit me as much as the other songs on the album.

But damn if I don’t want to scream sing this one driving down a high way.

18. Superstar 7/10

You can’t tell me this song is about a man. I simply won’t entertain the idea.

You cannot prove to me that this song is about a man. There is not a male pronoun in sight. 

>:)

19. The Other Side of the Door 6/10

Is this song about having a fight about being in the closet? Probably not. Will my gay little brain make it about that? Yep!

And that, funky little queer pals, is my gay rating of every Fearless song. Like and subscribe, #t3atmidnight

@cursedfortune asked the summoner:

She hands him some fresh honey to enjoy and says in passing, "Some honey for my honey."

Oh, Mortem

He looked up to find the Witch addressing him in a playfully doting way, extending arms in his direction - a small jar passed his way and the Hunter's own hand slipped out from underneath his shroud to hold it. Honey? Brows furrowed in a baffled curiosity - both at the to him peculiar gift and the strange expression of endearment - the container tilted to reveal a thick golden gel glistening inside. He stared for a moment before bringing it closer to his face, reluctantly smelling the sweet-scented substance. Despite his subconscious expectations, it lacked the fiery note that all but burned through the sinuses. No, this honey hardly reddened the eyes like the Windarian kind.

The last thing one wanted to do with Windarian fire bees' honey was to consume it. To find a similar substance entirely devoid of the telltale smell that all but screamed danger was novelty to him. In fact, he never expected to see... edible.. honey.

At least he assumed it was edible? Why else would she have given him it? He briefly wondered if it was still poison and she somehow wanted him to use it as a spell component. Mayhaps she simply tired of his usual way to deal with unwanted guests and wanted to spice things up with insect secretions. That was hardly his brand of magic, though, and they both knew that.

Kaze rotated the jar some more, lowering his head to take small, awkward whiffs. Smelled good, alright. Blue eyes lifted off the container, wider, more adorably curious than the usually narrow shapes that so often glared from beneath downturned brows.

"This..? To eat?" Asked the Wind, searching for either confirmation or denial in those dark umber orbs.

worst chefs in seoul (outline) – kim seokjin x gn!reader

➥ word count: 3.9k | reality/cooking show au | crack | fluff

➥ m.list

➥ a/n: we’re back at it again with another wip i never finished lol. this one is the outline for what was intended to be a social media au (as evidenced by some of the notes i left for myself), though it’s likely that’s not how it actually would’ve come out. i’d love to hear some of your thoughts/reactions, and i hope you enjoy ♡

day ???

start w y/n and yoongi goofing off on twitter

the whole y/n eating a moldy grape thinking it’s a kiwi thing

and yoongi panicking bc of it

could transition into them talking about the finale episode of their favorite show: worst chefs in seoul

they’re both huge fans, and equally complete disasters when it comes to culinary skill

yoongi likes the show bc he likes the competition aspect and tbh he got addicted after y/n forced him to watch the first season w them

y/n also likes it for that reason, but the main reason they watch it is bc of a certain kim seokjin

anyway, they talk about the finale, and then yoongi says something about the next season’s ‘nominations’ coming up soon

y/n jokingly says they’re going to nominate yoongi bc of that one time he made tacos with dog food

and yoongi fires back w the time they managed to light the microwave on fire making cup o’ noodles

they agree to let each other live

…..for now

sike!

the two actually do end up nominating each other w/o the other knowing

y/n honestly just thought it would be funny if yoongi got picked and yoongi was like “fuck it why not”

little did they know…..

while the nomination guidelines assure that the selection process is completely random, this is a reality show

meaning for anyone w a brain that’s obviously not the case

contestants are actually chosen by the show’s assistant producers and approved by the chefs themselves and then the higher ups

but who are those assistant producers??

none other than park jimin and kim taehyung

neither of them keep their involvement with the show a secret, and one takes it a teensy bit more seriously than the other

anyway, they’re usually told to find a batch of contestants (that they feel) would conjure up the most drama for the show

it is tv, after all, and they have to keep people watching

and that part is crucial

to their credit, they do (somewhat) succeed for the most part

jimin selects yoongi and namjoon from the nomination pool bc he thinks joon’s clumsiness w yoongi’s nonchalant nature will work for max chaos

and taehyung chooses y/n and jungkook bc while their competitive drives are similar, y/n’s subdued nature has a big chance for conflict w jk’s out-there attitude

(how do they know all this? they’re experts at what they do leave me alone)

day ??? 2.0

y/n (and yoongi, secretly) is ecstatic when they get the emails/DM/whatever that they’ve been “chosen for the next hot season of worst chefs in seoul!”

but then yoongi asks if it’s allowed for them to know each other and accept the nomination

like they’re best friends. is that going to present some kinda problem that’ll get them both kicked off??

should only one of them accept it?

(he’s immediately ready to sacrifice his own nomination bc he knows how much y/n cares about this stupid show)

y/n says they’re not going to let him do that bc they were both chosen, meaning they both should get to go

but—

“it’s fine!! we can just pretend we don’t know each other when we’re on set!”

and so they’re off

to some undisclosed location in seoul

day 0

jimin and taehyung are the first to greet everyone, collecting all four contestants together for a tour of the dorms

and y/n starts texting yoongi in a panic bc both of their dumbasses forgot that the contestants are separated into teams as soon as they arrive

yoongi prolly says smth like i’m two feet away from you why are you texting me

(y/n reminds him they can’t make it seem like they know each other)

yoongi acts like it’s not that big of a deal

prolly says there’s a good chance they’ll end up on the same team

and if they don’t they can just hang out in the dorms when the cameras are off and away

which is when jimin loudly announces that this season, each team is getting their own dormitory

and that contestants will be required to stay in their dorm while filming the season, except for approved ‘outings’ for the show

he moves on before anyone can ask what that means

they’ll be allowed to pick whichever dorm they want to stay in for the first night, since they want to get the contestants’ reactions on camera when they reveal the teams

but after they’re revealed tomorrow, it’s your dorm and your dorm only

y/n and yoongi automatically gravitate towards each other

they end up together in the ‘new’ dorm, which yoongi grumpily notes is practically bigger than their whole apartment

y/n wonders if they ended up in seokjin’s dorm, and gets excited at the thought of this being a ‘test’ to see which chef’s team they’ll be on

to which yoongi asks what makes this dorm his?

“idk i just...feel his aura in here”

“.......okay, weirdo. i’m gonna go ‘feel his aura’ in the bathroom and take a—”

“yoongi!!”

y/n can either ask what yoongi thinks of the other contestants or they can both pretty much blow them off entirely for the time being

idk which yet

day 1

next morning, the contestants are woken up bright and early by none other than our favorite assistant producers

the wake up call comes in the form of a new group chat between the six of them

along with a link to ‘download’ the calendar for the shooting schedule

(which is really an app/virus that disables certain functions on their phones)

((such as most social media and texting numbers outside their ‘parameters’))

after that’s all hashed out, jm & t explain that this group chat is for any and all notifications and updates about the show, as well as any questions and/or concerns the contestants might have

like

“can i just vote to eliminate myself now and go home?” and

“how do i get this fucking thing off my phone” and

“when do we find out what team we’re on??”

the answers to which are

no

you’ll find out when filming is finished

and right now!

they tell the contestants to get up and get dressed as their first day on set officially starts now

y/n and kook immediately jump into action and leave the gc

joon lags behind a little confused but follows the flow

yoongi, ever the people person, gets aggressive when they don’t answer his questions about their goddamn malware

“is this even legal?? are you even fucking allowed to just disable our devices like this?”

“what if there’s an emergency??”

“looks like you’ll just have to find out, huh?”

yoongi’s phone then crashes and won’t let him unlock it until the first block of filming is finished

jm: “oops ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ”

day 1 recap

we find out through our superfan what happens during the first episode

(maybe do something like this person is some kinda press/‘news’ account dedicated entirely to w.c.i.s. and the two chefs)

((mayhaps they leak the contestant list before it goes public??))

((jimin and tae could have some kinda unspoken rivalry w them lol))

anyway the story is told through them in a series of twitter threads

(plus a few messages from y/n to yoongi freaking out about the teams they get put on)

first event of the day is: the team announcements

yoongi and joon end up on team kim seokjin and y/n is on team jyp w kook

being split up puts a bit of a damper on their plans, and with this stupid cell block they don’t know if they’ll even be allowed to talk to each other

none of them get much time to react, though, as they’re then shuffled off to their respective kitchens

where they finally meet their respective chefs

and, lo and behold, y/n is goddamn terrified

jinyoung is even scarier in person than he is on tv

“don’t laugh at me yoongi!! this is the guy who made a girl sob on live television!”

“and now ur gonna be the next person what’s the problem lmao”

while y/n tries to get past their fear, they’re given their first official task: work together with their new partner to create a meal of their choice

the catch is that they aren’t allowed any help from their chef yet

and since the teams were just announced literally like 10 minutes ago, none of them have had much of a chance to get to know each other

(the network knows this, and does this on purpose since most of the seasons’ first episodes are spent either arguing or being completely lost)

things go about as well (read: badly) as expected

y/n and kook soon discover their very conflicting personalities and spend the majority of the round bickering back and forth about what to make/how to do it

meanwhile yoongi slaps a piece of sliced cheese directly on the stove while joon runs around like a chicken w its head cut off

in the end, team jyp somehow manages to come out victorious

they cobble together some (semi) edible banana milkshakes to present to the judges

(‘together’ meaning y/n wanted to make plain vanilla milkshakes and kook switched it for banana milk when they weren’t looking)

yoongi and joon tried (keyword being tried) to make grilled cheese

but between yoongi’s cheese-to-stove method and joon dropping their two pieces of burnt toast right before the timer rang

they didn’t get many points

as their reward, team jyp has the honor of picking what they’ll be making tomorrow

they’re given the rest of the day to think and talk it over while team ksj is told to reflect on what went wrong in today’s trial

back at the dorms (now in their separate teams), y/n finds that yoongi finally graces them w a response

(and that they were right about which one was ‘seokjin’s’ dorm)

yoongi tells them about ‘that little shit’ locking him out of his phone and that he honestly just wants to get tf out of there contract or not

y/n convinces him to stay and stick it out, if not for them then for the prize money at the end

yoongi then asks what dish they’re going to pick for tomorrow, and asks if they can pick something he at least has an idea how to make

cue y/n saying that they were thinking of suggesting one of seokjin’s signature dishes but not knowing if kook would go along w the idea

“he kept trying to switch out our ingredients for banana milk and i don’t know how to tell him to knock that shit off”

“honestly you know i’m not one to take charge but he wasn’t even listening to me!! what’s to say he’s actually going to listen to the PROFESSIONAL chef here to help us??”

“aNd SPeAkINg oF THaT”

cue y/n whining about how they wanted to be on jin’s team and it’s not fair that they both got stuck w jinyoung AND a bratty kid on their team

yoongi sympathizes since he was looking forward to them being on the same team, but makes y/n agree that if he has to give the competition a chance then they have to give kook one too

“i mean yeah he seems like a bit of a dumbass but isn’t that why we’re all here? bc we have no fuckin clue what to do in the kitchen?”

hmm...fine they’ll give him a chance

but they still think he’s a lil shit and don’t really wanna talk to him at all, let alone reach some kinda compromise on what to make

they don’t get much or a choice, though, as they both receive a mysterious message from...jungkook? in another group chat?

the contestants find that they have all been manually added to another gc

except this one is missing the two assistant producers who love to breathe down their necks

everyone but jk is immediately suspicious

is this some of trick to get them to screw up?

to break some kinda hidden clause in the contract none of them actually read?

wasn’t that thing they downloaded supposed to block incoming messages like this?

“but wait, yoongi, then how were we able to…?”

but as of right now, they don’t get any answers

and they’re all too afraid to ask anyone but each other

“well we’re all here so...we might as well get to know each other right?? :D”

this is where we get our first in-depth look at the four people stuck on this show together, who in their lives nominated them and why

(y/n and yoongi’s lying skills are put to a bit of a test as they each rush to pull stories right out of their asses)

kook talks about bambam and says his nomination said smth about “adding banana milk to everything f*ckin thing he makes”

he doesn’t really get why that was enough to land him a spot on the show but he thought it would be pretty cool to be on tv and just went along with it

namjoon talks about hobi and emphasizes that he’s not that bad of a cook

he just gets nervous and confused when it comes to recipes and cooking which expresses itself in the form of his unabashed clumsiness

joon then asks if they’ll really be prevented from having any outside communication until filming is finished

he, like yoongi, questions the legality of deceitfully installing the block on their phones

y/n says there probably was some kind of hidden clause that allowed them to do that, as they “can’t imagine seokjin would take part in a competition that abuses its contestants”

to which joon replies that they don’t actually know seokjin so they can’t really ‘imagine’ anything about how he will or won’t act

right as yoongi is about to jump in and tell him to back off, jungkook decides that that’s way too much legal talk for him

he forces changes the subject back to the gc as a whole and says that even if they’re prevented from talking to their friends he’s happy they’ll “at least have each other :D”

y/n feels like part of that is directed at them and feels bad for how they thought he was ‘just a dumb kid’ before

namjoon, however, is still hesitant

he’s not sure if this chat could get them in trouble in regards to the show and their contract and what not and says that they all should probably delete it just to be safe

but that is unanimously vetoed by y/n and kook (and yoongi, reluctantly) and they decide that if the block allowed it to pass through then it must be allowed

before joon can argue anymore, they all receive a message from tae in the ‘official’ gc

he briefly explains the lights out policy of the dorms and tells them that they’re probably going to want a good night's sleep for their ‘big day’ tomorrow

yoongi then says smth like “well...guess that’s lights out then” and jk responds excited as ever w “night guys!! see you all in the morning! :)”

and y/n can feel their soul leaving their body for even thinking anything ill about him

day 2

contestants are woken up bright and early by alarms they didn’t set

(“oh great, so they just hijacked every app on our fucking phones then”

jimin tells them all to hurry up, get dressed, and meet the chauffeur outside bc they can’t afford to be late

(“literally! every second you waste is money docked from the network’s wallet! so get your asses in gear, guppies!”)

y/n and kook get outside first, but yoongi and joon are nowhere to be seen

y/n decides to text the q & a gc to get the dirt on seokjin

they kinda start sucking up to jimin and tae to see if they’ll reveal any info, particularly about what the chef is like and if it’s possible for him to talk to the ‘other’ team’s contestants

and while the producers are pleasantly surprised that one of the contestants actually want to use that gc for something other than yelling at them

they unfortunately can’t give much info besides what most people already know

and confirm that one of the chefs talking to the other’s students was probably not allowed, but that it’s also never really happened before so they’re not really sure lmao

(“taehyung!!” “what? was i not supposed to say that?”)

jimin cuts the conversation short there as yoongi and joon arrive and they all get on the shuttle for the set

taehyung does say one last thing tho

“good luck!! hopefully they don’t tear u up too bad!”

but first

our superfan gives us the downlow on the competition and how it works

after being split into teams, the contestants will rotate between ‘training’ w their chef and competing against each other in timed trial rounds

prizes can be won for both events, but the ones for the trial rounds are generally more competition based while the ones for the training rounds are more about luxury/quality of life while filming

each trial round win counts as a point towards the team’s score in the competition

only trial rounds affect this score

once a certain number of points has been reached (5), that team moves into the next phase of the competition

instead of working as a team, they are split up and now have to work against each other to win the favor of their chef

and in the finale, after one last big cookout competition, an individual winner is chosen and crowned a ‘former’ worst chef in seoul

once the contestants arrive on set, the chefs reiterate that today is just a training round

(they all let out a collective sigh of relief)

and it’s a good thing everyone woke up so early bc they’re just in time to learn how to make breakfast!!

“it’s not like we had much of a choice-oof.”

“anyway! team jyp, since you won the pretrial round yesterday, you get to decide what both teams will be learning how to make today. so, y/n, jungkook. think carefully. what do you want for breakfast?”

y/n is about to suggest seokjin’s signature strawberry and cream crepes when jungkook, who is still half asleep, blurts out “omelette”

(also i’ve decided that jackson is the host of the show now and i’m not changing my mind)

and it’s decided. they’re makin’ omelettes

(y/n is only a little bit peeved)

shuffled off to their separate kitchens, y/n is reminded of just how terrified they are of jinyoung

sure, they thought he was scary yesterday when they realized they were on his team, but now he has to actually teach them and they can’t help but think he’s going to make them into an idiot sandwich by the end of the day

as such, they try to keep half-asleep kook in between them and jinyoung at all costs, even if it meant running around the kitchen like a lost puppy

jinyoung, fully aware of how the show portrays him and how fans view him, notices this almost instantaneously

but he unfortunately doesn’t get to pull y/n aside to address it before jungkook starts digging through the fridge for banana milk and almost throws the entire carton of eggs on the floor

professional chef jyp mode: on

and they’re off

it’s a little difficult with y/n dancing around the kitchen anxiously and jungkook’s absolute aversion to being told what to do (as y/n predicted), but jinyoung manages to whip them into shape long enough to (barely) make a ham, cheese, and “green onion? wtf is that?” omelette

team seokjin, however, does not favor as well

yoongi apparently doesn’t know what tf a green onion is either and just throws in whatever green vegetable he can find while jin is struggling to keep namjoon from setting himself on fire

….and it turned out to be celery

that, plus joon somehow managing to burn the omelette to a crisp, costs them the training round

y/n and kook start to celebrate their victory and actually working as a team when jackson informs them that their ‘prize’ is they get to eat what they cooked while the other team gets whatever is left over on the catering table

“i hope you listened to your chef!”

“...jungkook, please tell me you used actual milk in this”

“um…”

back at the dorms, the contestants share their thoughts on their first day of training, as well as their first official day w their chefs

(also include y/n saying something about their banana milk omelettes actually not being half bad)

y/n immediately recalls how much they were terrified of jinyoung, almost cutting their finger off when he glanced over their shoulder when they were slicing the green onions

jk agrees, adding smth about how he didn’t think a scowl could ever be so intimidating

“it reminded me of my mom’s face when she found out i tried to pierce my own ears in the bathroom in middle school!! i was too afraid to push the needle all the way through and walked around with it in my ear all day until one of my teachers finally noticed and sent me to the office!”

...ok jungkook

during all of this, yoongi and joon are both like...wtf

“seokjin was literally nothing but nice to us. even when namjoon almost set his sleeve on fire lmao”

“hyung how did u manage that” “doesn’t matter”

jungkook thinks the difference in the chefs is hilarious, but y/n is only upsetti spaghetti

they go on a bit of a rant about how badly they wanted to be on jin’s team

saying something about how jinyoung is scary and mean and they’re almost positive he can sense their fear or something and probably use it against them while jin’s team would be so much better on the sole fact that they wouldn’t feel like he would turn them into an omelette for getting something wrong

cue jk being all babey asking “you...don’t wanna be on a team with me? :((“

and y/n immediately PANICS and tries to explain that NO, it’s not HIM but yoongi saves their ass by saying that seokjin is just their favorite and that’s all

jungkook feels better, but then namjoon is like “hol up. we all just met. how could you possibly know that?”

insert more y/n fumbling and jk confusion

yoongi (once again) covers w some bullshit story that he was able to just guess that based on what y/n’s said in the gc so far

joon wants to question it further, but jungkook informs them that the lights out call just came in before he can

another yoony/n sigh of relief

in private, y/n freaks out to yoongi for almost blowing their cover to the others

prompting a short conversation over whether they think they can trust them or not

y/n admits that they’re warming up to kook, but is a little suspicious if namjoon will keep their secret yet

convo ends with yoongi saying something like “well, the kid’s right about one thing. at least we know we have each other”

end.

also i know i have been so mia lately and i probably will continue to be throughout finals but tonight!!! i am off work at 4!!!! then editing will be done!!! and i will work on my essay!!!!! and then mayhaps microdose an edible and answer the asks i have barely touched all this week 😬 so sorry 😬 BUT I SEE THEM ALL AND I KNOW I TAKE FOREVER TO RESPOND BUT!!!!!! I AM SO GRATEFUL YALL THINK OF ME?????? AND ASK ABOUT MY DAY????? AND TELL ME ABOUT YOURS????? LOVE U GUYS!!!!! SMOOCHIES!!!!!!!

Irreconcilable

FFXIV Write 2020 Entry for 9/22 - “Argy-Bargy” 510 words

AN: This is much shorter than I was hoping, but work and bedtimes are a bitch, and I figure it's better I get a WIP our than nothing at all. Definitely want to revisit this and polish it up, though.

“You would say that! Honestly, haven’t you the slightest sense of decency?”

“Ohhh, and you’re *so* above it all, then?”

The bickering shouts were audible outside The Seventh Heaven, Laila surmised as she approached the double doors. Briskly pushing past the disgruntled patrons, she gave an apologetic look to the bartender as the entered the Rising Stones. With yet fewer barriers, the heated conversation between the Leveilleurs but grew louder. They’d been at it when she’d left about half a bell ago, and their fervor had only increased in the intervening time. It was not unusual for them to take longing snipes at one another, but to be arguing for so long with such intensity meant one of two things: either a damning rift, foundational to their very cores, had erupted between them, or one was upset with the other over something obscenely petty.

Her questions were answered almost immediately. “I can’t believe you’re *this* upset over a slice of cake. Honestly, Brother.” Alisaie’s indignant voice echoed through the empty halls. All others had likely fled some time ago, the preferable option against the futility (or mayhap even risk of bodily harm) of intervening. Those they would heed in such a state were few indeed, and Laila counted herself lucky to be one.

She’d gotten nearly with arm’s reach before they had noticed her. In the most calming, pleading voice she could muster, she asked, “Really, you two. What’s gone on to get you in such a state?” Her worried smile was enough to temporarily dampen their tempers,turning to her instead of each other.

Alphinaud was the first to speak, more than eager to tell of the grievous insult and injury he had suffered. “As you may be aware, I purchased a Pixieberry Cheesecake for the two of us some time ago. We had each been consuming slices at an even pace until we were nearly finished with it. Alisaie, characteristically, devoured her last piece with nary a thought. I, meanwhile, planned to save it, as I nearing mastering a new technique with my carbuncle. It was to be a reward for my mastery, self-motivation, I’m sure you understand. And what should I find mere bells later, but that it is vanish, scarfed down by my ravenous sister!” His tale concluded, he paused, breathing quickly from excite.

Alisaie groaned, leaning up against a wall. Disdain was written across her face. “What he has failed to mention is that he’s ’nearly mastered’ techniques for a moon now, and in fact *still* has yet reliably control it. At his given pace, it’d take another fortnight to have it down pat, by which time the cake would be well past edible. It’d have simply gone to waste, all I did was ensure someone enjoyed it instead of being tossed in the waste.”

Laila shook her head, entirely unsurprised. They were twins, and knew how best to rile the other up. Was it too optimistic to hope treating them to another one would resolve their grievances? Well, it was worth attempting regardless.

@crystaliiize continued from: here 

---

“Ay, there’s no need to fret. A simple mistake’s all. I’m sure your next attempt will be perfect G’raha.” 

The light blue haired miqo’te rested a reassuring hand on their shoulder, giving them a heartwarming smile. He could understand his fellow seekers’ frustrations, trying their hardest to prove their worth. It reminded him of his early days as an adventurer. Still, he could compliment them for at least making an attempt. 

N’zhet was by no means an expert in the culinarian arts. Hell, he wasn’t even a picky eater. Rather, if something seemed somewhat edible, chances were that he’d make an effort to have a taste. Mismatching eyes were glancing down at outcome of G’raha’s efforts, staring at it carefully before taking a knife and split off a piece casually. 

“It doesn’t look that bad...” 

The bite that followed was immediately filled with regret. The fur on his tail bristled, blue and orange eyes widening before he coughed up whatever he had just placed in his mouth. 

“O-ok, mayhaps not.” He paused, couching once more. “More time for it to bake is needed for sure...and some spices.” 

@lachrymosestorm​ said:

“Edible finger paint is more fun than I thought it would be.” 

“I suppose you are right.”

Admittedly, in the beginning, the vampire had his doubts about engaging in such a childish activity as finger painting, even if it was on his lover’s nude body. However, as soon as he had seen how excited she was about it, it didn’t take him long to accept her offer to try it out. Her big doe eyes and precious smile had always been his weakness, to the point where he was convinced that if she were to look at him right, she would be able to have him do just about anything she wanted. Since when had he become this soft? He didn’t know the answer, but he wasn’t sure if he even wanted to know. He was happy this way, with her, and that’s all that mattered to him.

“It’s my turn now. Allow me to try something different this time.”

They had been drawing on each other’s bodies for a while, making aimless shapes and writing degrading and adoring words as they pleased, before licking it all off with their tongues. He distinctly remembered writing such words as ‘shameless’, ‘loose’, ‘lewd’ and even phrases like ‘I adore my Master’s whip’ or ‘Punish me, I’ve been a very bad girl’. He knew they were a little cliche and mayhaps even cheesy, but it was what she liked, and he aimed to please. All of those were promptly licked and the places where they once existed were now filled with hickeys and love bites. Meanwhile she had drawn arbitrary shapes, mostly along his member and written ‘I love you’ a few times on his chest and neck.

Dipping his finger in the red paint, he seemed to focus once again on her chest, which was now full of bruises and puncture wounds from his fangs. Once he found a spot, right above her left breast that was still relatively untouched, he got to work, drawing a red heart with their initials on it. He had observed humans carve those into trees and he had always been curious to try it out, so he decided to take this chance to do so. Only instead of carving bark with a knife, he drew on his girlfriend’s skin with his finger.

In the end, as usual, he licked it off of her, taking this opportunity to run his tongue along her soft chest, caressing every inch of exposed skin there with his tongue. He also took the chance to close his mouth around one of her nipples and suck on it, before letting go a few seconds later and gently holding the sensitive nub with his teeth while running his tongue along that delicate part of her.

30 for b/light mayhaps?

ur request has been done! the number generated was 24! and the fic is crossposted on my ao3 HERE in case you want better formatting.

Toys

A Mr. Donut box sweated beneath Light’s arm as he fiddledwith his keys. Even through the red apartment door he heard Mozart blasted at ahorrible volume. The longer he played with the keys, the longer it would takebefore the full brunt of Beyond’s music would hit him. After another fewmoments, he unlocked the door and went in.

Draped over their couch with the same graceless entitlementas a well-kept cat was Beyond. Clad in a pair of snug corduroy trousers, historso was bare and two pink clamps pinched his nipples. Light slipped hisloafers off next to the front table and dropped the Mr. Donut box on it. Hefelt uncomfortably buttoned up next to Beyond’s bohemian dress and choice ofaccessory so he also removed his socks. The carpet sunk under his bare feet.

“Don’t you have a job you’re supposed to do for me?” Lightferried the box from the front table to the living room. Once he steppedcloser, he noticed a black plastic bag slumped against the couch. “You don’tget to live here and just test out sex toys. You’re supposed to be murdering the people I tell you to.”

“I’m taking a break.” Beyond cast an interested eye towardthe box. “Did you bring me a gift? You know I love an edible gift.”

“You don’t deserve them.” Without joy, Light opened the boxto reveal two rows of pastries clustered against each other. He snatched abrown sugar pon-de-ring and picked off a piece to chew. “Why are you wearingthose anyway? We don’t have nipple clamps that I remember.”

“Oh, right.” Long fingers flipped over the small donutselection until Beyond picked a strawberry pon-de-ring. “I also got some gifts.Not edible though. But fun.”

He gestured to the plastic bag with his big toe. Light sniffedand bit another piece, savoring the soft texture. All week he wanted to indulgebut with Beyond shirking his duties, this moment felt guilty. Still, hiscuriosity tingled as he studied the bag—opaque but suspiciously lumpy—until Lightfinished his donut.

“Did you get me a matching pair?” Light picked up the bagand rummaged in it. His hand brushed against a solid, silicone object. Wrappinghis fingers around it, he pulled out a thick pink phallus. “Wow. How tasteful.”

“I thought so. It’s the second most expensive one they had.”

Light tossed the phallus aside and began searching the bagagain. “Not worth the money. You need to think about your expenses better.”

“Very rich coming from a man who bought me donuts.” Beyondpeeled the frosting from his donut with his teeth between words. “A snobby boywon’t get fucked nicely by that vibrator or by me.”

“I don’t need to respect you to get your penis, Beyond.Nobody has ever needed to respect you at all.”

A rustle was the only notice Light got of Beyond moving ashis attention remained focused on the bag. His fingers danced around the tackyplastic until he touched a rounded object. Slowly, he took it out and balanceda black ball gag between his palms. Oxygen fled from Light’s lungs as he consideredits weights. The small plastic ball and two leather straps were heavier than heimagined.

Against his neck Beyond breathed the hot sticky scent ofartificial strawberries. His hands came around Light’s shoulders and slippedover his chest. The nipple clamps dug into his back and, for the first time,Light realized they vibrated. How long had he been wearing them? As soon as hethought the question, it vanished once Beyond took hold of his hands. Togetherthey turned the ball gag over and over with a jeweler’s reverence.

“This one?” Beyond hummed as Light nodded his answer. “Interesting.Do you want to wear this, Light? Do you want me to gag you?”

“I want—,” but he couldn’t finish. Light was tightened atevery joint, unable to move and consumed by a thousand ideas of what the gagmight feel like lodged in his mouth. How tight the leather straps might be. Howhe might look to the outside observer or, worse and wonderfully still, how hemight look to Beyond with his backtalk silenced by such a harsh tool.

“Oh c’mon,” Beyond said. “Use your words. Tell me you wantthe gag, hm? Tell me how you want to be put in your place.”

Light’s fingers flexed but he didn’t speak. Sighing, Beyondcurled their intertwined hands together around the straps and lifted it up. Hestopped right as the ball brushed against Light’s lips in a foreign but tendertouch. To his horror, saliva pooled at the corners of his mouth with everycaress.

“Yes or no?” Beyond spoke without ridicule and his tone was perplexinglylogical. It carried an unfortunate echo of L beneath its terseness but thatecho snatched Light by the skin. Nerves all over him grew frazzled while Beyondbreathed in nasal huffs level with his ear. Fuck. He did want it.

“Yes,” Light said. “I want you to gag me.”

“Is that how you ask nicely?” A kiss fluttered against theshell of Light’s ear as Beyond said his next words right against it. “Show mesome of that respect you didn’t before.”

Swallowing, Light closed his eyes and spoke. “Yes, sir. Iwant you to gag me, sir.”

“See?” The ball pressed hard to Light’s mouth as Beyondtugged the straps behind his head. “I knew you’d like the gift. I knew you’dshow me how grateful you were.”

Eyes squeezed shut, Light opened his mouth. Even as the ballsunk in, he still tasted donut amongst the ugly glide of plastic. The sweetnesscouldn’t be drowned out.

Conquering a World: Part 5

“And how would you describe yourself?” Traaiillooonn asked me. Curse him. I tried to think of exactly what I would say when describing myself. I hated that I had to go last. Everyone but Ava had been pretty honest. At least, it seemed that way. Only time would really tell how honest they were. “Introverted,” I said to start, then thought for a second. “Obsessive, distractable, tempermental, creative, sarcastic, violent…um…” I looked to the ceiling to try and think of more adjectives. “Fearful, a little rebellious, unfocused, awkward, blunt—sometimes past the point of acceptability, I can get loud and I cry when I get mad. I hate working on group projects, not because of the project but because I have to deal with people. I chose a degree in Forestry and another in Botany because I didn’t think a career in writing or music would pan out for me. I don’t like people messing with my stuff, or my life. I hate abrupt change. I abhor small talk, it’s just a way to avoid real conversations and real topics. You betray me, then I will never trust you again. Not completely. I’m a pretty good judge of character. I’m stubborn and no one can dissuade me from my beliefs. I believe what I believe. Which extends to believing that it might be fun to rebel against the Pqncallaxis Dominion, but…since they’re our only source of supplies…it wouldn’t exactly be wise to do so. Tempting, but not a practical use of our time. Just like this is taking away from not only my lunch, but also my work.” Someone chortled, but hid it. Traaiillooonn looked a little frozen. “Blunt, you said?” Chad looked like he was choking back laughter. “I would never have imagined from what you said,” Traaiillooonn said as he looked down at his recording device. Snarky little beast. “Huh, so sarcasm isn’t just a human trait.” I smirked at the table, then crinkled my nose as I looked at my cold lunch. I wasn’t hungry. Not anymore. But if the snake was still there… “If we’re done here, I need to confer with you, Fay. That animal that died in the pool, it apparently doesn’t chew it’s food much. I found a couple intact leaves. Maybe we can learn what’s edible from the wildlife.” Patricia stood up. I nodded. “Works for me. Though, I’m not sure if the serpentine thing that was in my workstation is still there or not.” Andrew pumped a fist and jumped out of his chair. “I’m so there!” Patricia smiled and shook her head. “Let’s go then. Traaiillooonn, you are finished with us?” He hesitated (yes, we were sure he was a he—we asked). “I do need to gather all of your descriptions of each other, but given the way you all work together I suppose it would be more appealing for all of you to talk about your peers when they aren’t around to listen. Ava advised me that humans generally are able to put up with people they don’t like to work towards a greater good.” Ava shrugged. Mike Findlay laughed. “Oh, I can’t even remember how many workers I had that I couldn’t stand personality wise, but who did excellent work.” Traaiillooonn was vibrating, with a sort of humming-purring deal. I folded my arms. “Looonn, this is your dream job, isn’t it? Studying us. Being around us. Learning our ways.” He caught one of his antennai and played with it like I would play with my hair. “Mayhaps, Fay. Mayhaps.” I smiled, “Well, at least one of us is happy. Meet at the lab?” I directed the question to Patricia. She nodded. Andrew hurried over to me. “Snake?” “Possibly,” I responded, leading the way out the door and over to my yard. My lab was basically a tent with a couple tables, and a chemistry set, and a kerosene burner. It was sparse for now, there were more supplies coming with that shipment that was ordered two weeks ago. Andrew went in the tent first. “Sweeet!” I peeked in, then shuddered a bit and backed out. “Don’t die.” “It totally doesn’t see me as a predator. This is so cool!” He sounded thrilled. He came out with the serpentine thing, holding it behind the head and by the body, being careful to keep its clawed front feet aware from himself. I pasted on a reluctant smile. He laughed. “I’ll release it into the…are we calling that forest?” I nodded. “That’s where I’ll release it then. How’s your compass working here? Is there a magnetic north?” “Yeah, seems to be. Well, it seems to keep a direction anyway. I’m still testing it, doing my best to map it all out. I’m not accurate, by far, but it’s better than nothing.” I felt my compass in my pocket, making sure it was still there. I had one other, not nearly as accurate as this one, but it pointed north. Mostly. “Well, I better release this guy. I’ll let you get to work.” “Thanks, Andy.” “No problem.” He walked off with the serpent thing. I went into my tent and cleaned up some of the disorder. One of the fruits had been knocked to the ground, and was the equivalent of bruised. I picked it up and set it on the table, then licked the remaining juice off of my finger. Delicious. Then my eyes widened. Idiot. Imbecile. Stupid. I grabbed my benedryl and the other stuff that I would have to take if it turned out to be poisonous, and sat in a chair. Patricia came in with some samples. “Hey, I would have thought you would be hard at work.” “I tasted the juice of a fruit, and now I’m waiting to see if it kills me,” I told her. Her eyes widened. “Why did you do that?” “A moment of stupidity.” “Did it at least taste okay?” “Fantastic, it would make a great dessert. You know, providing it’s not poisonous.” I started cutting the fruit open to study it. “Shall I spread these samples out on the empty table?” “Yeah, go ahead. I’ll be over in a second.” At least there was no tingling sensation on my tongue, that was a good sign. There were no signs of allergic reaction so far. “So, should I be concerned that you’re going to die?” “Possibly,” I replied. “I’ll go see Bea soon.” “What about now?” I shook my head. “I didn’t injest that much and there should be a biological response to any toxins before they kill me. Even then, what is there to lose?” “That’s a bleak outlook.” “Do you have a better one? We’re never getting home. I never even got to explore romantic relationships. I’ve been on two dates my entire life, and technically the one shouldn’t count.” I went over to examine her samples. She was quiet for a while. “Why didn’t you date more?” “Never met any guys, especially not ones that were interested in me. Too quiet for them. I was always too quiet. Or too loud. Too shy. Too fat. Not as pretty as my sister. Everybody loves my sister. Even my friends. Not that I’m bitter. I miss her. I miss my whole family. I’m talking crazy, I’m sorry.” “We’re stranded on some planet, far away from just about everything we know and love. I think you’re just a little more realistic than the rest of us. We’re all still hoping that we will go back to earth. Can’t really tell the kids otherwise. Not right now. Not with food so slim.” There was that too. I looked at the fruit. “I’m going to do something stupid.” “Please don’t,” She objected, but it was too late. I took a bite of the fruit. Dang it tasted good. She grabbed my wrist. “Spit it out, Fay. Now.” I swallowed. “Too late.” “Fay, this is nothing to mess with. Come on, we’re going to Beatrice and Dr. McNeal. Now.” She pulled me out of the tent and away. Everyone else was still chatting in the Findlay’s house. Even Andrew was back. They all freaked when Patricia told them what I had done. I let them berate me, and test me and push me onto a cot in the room dubbed the ‘medical ward’. I let them take blood samples and ask me a million questions about how I was feeling. They even made me sleep there overnight. Traaiillooonn was the first visitor in the morning. “Why would you eat something when you know not whether it will kill you?” “Why would they bring an uneven number of people? And why would they not pay attention to gender and age? Sure, they did the language check, but still. It’s foolish of them to think that we can do everything they need done.” “Can you not reproduce with any of the males?” “There are these things that humans live by, called morals, which say you don’t just reproduce with any male because some are married. Humans mate for life—or they intend to. But we will not just mate with any male that’s put in front of us. Not if we have any sense whatsoever.” “Humans are odd.” “Anything that is foreign to an individual can be perceived as odd or strange or disgusting. It’s all a matter of opinion and circumstance.” “You are what you call grumpy?” I sighed. “Yes. I’m sorry, Traaiillooonn.” “It is understandable.” I smiled. “But I think that the fruit I ate is safe to eat. It’s a start.” “And this excites you?” “We’re running out of food, yes this excites me. A little hubbub, but everything is fine and dandy and I’m ready to continue my tests.” I got my shoes on. “It’s early enough that I should be able to slip out before Patricia comes and forces me to stay for observation.” “And what makes you think I won’t stop you?” Chad asked from the doorway. I shrugged. “Someone has to make sure I survive the trip back to that fruit tree. I need to test it more.” “You’re insane,” He told me, but he was sort of laughing as he did. “Traaiillooonn, Chad is the specimen that you’ll want to talk to about reproduction. After all, he’s the eligible male.” Traaiillooonn’s antennae twitched and he made a sort of amused sound. Chad snorted. “And you’re not an eligible female?” I wrinkled my nose. “I’ll probably die. I’m likely to try something else after I get frustrated with how slowly the testing goes. Besides, I don’t really want to think about that right now. Because technically, you have three choices. Ava, me, or none of the above. You could wait for Juliet to be old enough, but I’m pretty sure your brother has dibs and if he doesn’t, Kevin does.” “I just wonder,” Traaiillooonn started, “why your gardens aren’t enough to sustain you all?” “We had a small garden and some cornstalks from the fields around our house. They were picked clean and while the green beans are still producing some and the cucumbers still have a couple that are growing, we won’t have anything more until the squashes ripen and we have to feed thirteen people. The Ledfords had a bigger one, but we only got one harvest from the one section before one of those weird giant creatures squashed all of the plants.” “And our garden was all herbs. The McNeals didn’t have a garden at all. We’re lucky we have what we have, but we need to supplement it soon. The chickens are helpful, but we’ll want to spend more time letting the flock grow rather than causing it to dwindle.” Chad handed me my backpack. I smiled at him, then stood and put it on. “Thus, we’re going to go find more native foods. Got your gun?” “Got my gun.” He gestured behind himself with his thumb. I nodded. “Then let’s go.” He gave a little mock bow and gestured for me to lead the way. “Milady.” I rolled my eyes and did a mock curtsy. I was on a mission now. I wasn’t going to let anyone stop me. Traaiillooonn calling after me stopped me. I glanced at Chad. “This might take a while. Can you get the wagon?” He nodded and headed that way. Traaiillooonn caught up to me. “Apologies. However, my research indicates that Ava is incompatible with Chad. And the Pqncall—” “Those that shall not be named,” I interrupted. “Yes. They are concerned with the rate of reproduction. If a step toward reproduction is not taken soon, they try to force it.” “Okay, here’s what you’re going to tell them. Not only do humans respond poorly to threats, they also ensure their own survival before they even consider something as serious as mating or the result of successful mating. Got it? There won’t be any reproducing going on until we have steady food supply, we know more about this planet and until it pleases us. Which means we also need the supplies we ordered. Got it?” Traaiillooonn clicked, and hurried off with his communication device. “What did he need?” “Not him. His bosses. I gave them a mouthful. Should take them a month to chew through. Hopefully it expedites the shipment. What is with the theme these past couple of days?” “What theme?” “Mating, romance, reproduction.” I shooed a chicken back into their pen. We couldn’t afford to lose any and the dogs were still inside with Ava. “Maybe fate is trying to tell you something.” “Then it needs to paint me a sign, because hints only make me grumpy.” “I noticed,” He chuckled. I gave him a little glare. “You were pretty…honest about yourself yesterday.” “I have to live with myself. I know me.” “You made yourself sound pretty…disagreeable. Why?” “I was just being honest.” “It’s not fully you, not in my experience.” “What, you don’t find me bluntly honest? Or creative? Or fearful?” “I don’t think I’ve seen you afraid, except maybe when we were getting chased by that thing and when you mentioned the serpent.” “Chad…” I shook my head. “I’m terrified. I used to be afraid of tornadoes. Now, I’m afraid that there’s going to be something here that’s worse than tornadoes. Worse than hurricanes. I’m afraid that I’m not going to be able to discern what’s safe for us to eat. I’m afraid of everything in there, because I don’t know it. I’m terrified, but I decided that first day that I wasn’t going to be stopped by my fears. And so far I’ve stuck to it, but I can’t sleep. I haven’t really eaten, and I’m afraid of what’s going to happen in the next couple of days.” “Me too,” He whispered, looking at the ground. “Do you realize how much everyone has been looking to you?” “Me? That’s not a good idea. At all.” “You’re not afraid to say things as they are. You notice…everything. You stay quiet and absorb all the information then in five minutes you summarize everything in blunt terms and bring us all to reality. That first day, after you left the group, after you touched that creature, the only thing anyone could say was that you were the bravest person in this group. It took us all a couple a of days to reach your level of bravery.” “I’m not brave.” “Yeah, you are. The definition of courage, of bravery, is to be afraid but not be hindered by that fear. You’re the bravest person on this planet.” I stared at him. “Why are telling me this?” “Because you need to hear it.” He shrugged. I stared for a while longer, then pivoted and headed for our entry point. “Right. Well. Fruit won’t pick and test itself.” I heard him sigh behind me. But I wasn’t about to look back. I was afraid of what I’d see.

@riptidethepen 

@thisnewjoe I’m not currently cross-posting this anywhere. I’m not even sure where I would cross post it. Suggestions welcome.

Thoughts and suggestions for the story?