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earthlyyan · 3 years

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Organic Antidepressants

(Slight Yandere Ferid Bathory x Suicidal Reader) originally posted on my AO3

Warnings: Ferid being touchy, suicidal depression, intrusive thoughts. Reader is of legal age

first person pov (ew)

(Originally Posted on AO3 On 1-9-2020)

The days were far longer than they were before… at least it felt that way.

I knew I should’ve died that day. I wish I had died that day. The day the trumpets of the apocalypse decided to ring gloriously over our god forsaken planet.

Anyone younger than thirteen? What a fucking joke.

The cot stuffed with hay was one of the few things that brought me comfort in the day to day. The odd number of children allowed for me to be alone. I liked it that way. More me time. And the most I wanted to do was return to it. But instead, my feet dragged down the busy streets, making my way to the blood bank.

On my way though, I could hear the guards making excuses to their superiors. Apparently three humans on the register were found dead in their terf.

“They committed suicide. You know how they get when they’re cooped up. I didn’t touch them, honest.”

“They got sick. Died of their illness I guess.”

Bastards took them for themselves. Everyone knew it. But were they going to confront them? They weren’t protected. The vamps just thought they could get away with it.

“Hey we have enough. Three won’t make a dent.”

Not even caring that those children had futures. Well, would’ve had futures. Those were stripped away as quick as the adults were.

I wanted to be happy. We all did.

But in this place? Laughable. You had a better chance of being an astronaut. Well… maybe not. But it sure felt that way.

You know how to be happy right?

“First and Last name?”

I answered.

“First open table.”

No matter how many times I’ve done this already, the dread won’t leave. The feeling of their eyes. I could see the barely restrained hunger. If anyone was left alone, they’d take a bag for the rations and the kid for themselves.

You could ask the vamp to take extra.

I shuddered and plopped myself on the medical bed. “Good morning.”

An unamused grunt was my reply. I was the scum of the earth not worth talking to, apparently.

He’s right, isn’t he?

The needle was quick. He hadn’t even bothered to give a warning. It was a pinch, a wave of nausea, and then it was over. He tossed the pouch of their nasty sustenance formula in my hands and pointed to the door.

“Thanks.” I walked out and threw myself on the floor beside the benches. I opened my disgusting capri-sun wannabe and began to suck on it. I cringed at the taste.

There were two boys on the stairs. One obviously more displeased about the situation than the other. He crinkled the full bag and threw it across the clearing. If I had the balls and the same cripplingly low amount of braincells as he did, I would probably do the same.

The other boy, far more mature than the other, stood up after chugging his to throw his pouch away. He seemed to be taking the situation much better than the other. He had beautiful blonde hair and deep blue eyes. If he wasn’t in this hell hole, he could’ve been a child model.

The thought made me sad. What could’ve been. I could’ve been somebody.

Maybe you’ll get a fresh start in the next life.

Apparently, I had zoned out far longer than I thought because the next thing I knew, a fight had broken out.

If you could call a young boy threatened to be chucked off the ledge a fight anyway. He was soon thrown to the side with enough force to send him reeling.

A well-dressed vampire walked with purpose down the stairs. Shoulders back, chin up. He seemed regal.

He certainly looked like royalty.

“Lord Ferid!” The little blonde boy ran up to him. The two seemed close enough, which sent my mind reeling.

How does a kid get that close with a nobleman like him? They seem friendly.

“Ah~ Mika!” The noble -presumably named Ferid- gave him a kind smile. “What on earth seems to be the matter?”

He talked like royalty too.

I couldn’t stop staring. After a few minutes of banter, the noble took his hand from the blonde’s face and sent him on his way. He had said something about meeting at his mansion. I brought myself up from the floor and chased after the blonde.

Two days after the talk with Mika, I stood at the noble’s door.

“If you give your blood, he’ll give you anything you want!”

I rose an eyebrow. “Really? Anything?”

Mika nodded proudly. “Yup! Though he’s busy tonight. But the day after I’d try it.”

Maybe he can take the pain away.

I took a few controlled breaths. This screamed danger. It’s a vampire. They kill people

Why are you so scared? It’s not like your life could get worse.

I knocked on his door.

It swung open, seemingly on its own accord. The motion invited me in. Once I was past the threshold, I gently closed the door and looked inside.

There he sat, lounging on a tasteful white couch with gold accented frames. In the dim candlelight he almost resembled an angel.

An angel of death, perhaps?

He looked up from his book and turned his attention towards me. My body froze. I felt my self-confidence leave. Not like I had much left anyway.

He called my name, somehow. Mika must’ve told him or something. Though, something nagged at me. I don’t remember telling Mika my name. Mika hadn’t even told me his. It was all overheard. Then how?

“Come, sit.” He patted the seat next to him on the couch.

I sat down on the chair across from him instead.

“Over here, my dear.” He patted the spot next to him louder, trying to coax me over like I were an animal.

Though, that’s probably how he saw my species anyway, isn’t it?

“My dearest Mika had told me about your visit a few nights ago. I wouldn’t have thought he would’ve told anyone about the little arrangement I have going on here, but I’m not complaining.” He sighed, seemingly content. “I wasn’t expecting someone of your age to be here, how are you still here? You have me curious.”

“If I’m honest, milord, I don’t quite know.” I said, trying to keep my voice as steady as possible. But the calculating feeling of his gaze made it harder. “Luck? Possibly?”

“Luck?” He leaned back and turned himself towards me. “Is it truly luck?”

“With all due respect, what’s that supposed to mean?”

You know what he means, and you know he’s right.

He smiled at me, not meeting my eyes. Ah. Okay.

“So, what are you hoping to get out of this?” He scooted closer. “As much as I’d like to think you’re here out of the kindness of your heart, we both know that isn’t the case, now is it?”

I nodded; heat crept its way up my face. “Yeah, but I suppose that doesn’t make me irregular.” I grumbled. “But I suppose that also makes me boring doesn’t it?”

He shrugged. “That entirely depends on you, my dear.”

I tugged at my uniform and cleared my throat. “Yeah I guess that’s fair.”

“Back to the topic at hand, yes?” He smiled and placed a gloved hand on my shoulder.

I suppressed a shudder. “Right. I guess I should cut to the chase.” I finally had the courage to look into his eyes.

Those damn eyes, despite the almost ravenous look in them, I couldn’t help but find them entrancing. Like shiny rubies in where his irises should be. He raised his eyebrows, awaiting an answer.

“Antidepressants.”

And I would’ve never thought his grin could get bigger. “Antidepressants? Now that’s something I haven’t heard before.”

In a place like this? Really? “I’m sure you would’ve heard everything by now.”

“And I thought I would’ve heard it all by now too. But I suppose not.” He ran his hand down my back

I gingerly grabbed his hand and put it back on his lap. “Sorry.” I mumbled.

“No~ Don’t apologize. It’s quite alright.” He folded his hands in his lap, he smiled at me. “If I were in a situation like yours, I don’t think I’d want to be touched either.”

My gaze fell. “Right. A situation like mine.” I slapped my cheeks gently to liven myself up. “Back to the deal though.”

“Actually, before we continue, what do you need them for? Medicine isn’t allowed down here unless regulated, considering how it effects the blood. Someone as old as you should know that.”

“Yeah, but why else would someone need antidepressants?”

He stared at me. His expression left no room for argument. He wanted an answer. His lips tugged into a smile. A kind looking one, but it left something unsaid.

“Why do you really need them?”

It’s not like you have anything else to lose, right? Tell him. You’ll feel better. He can make you better.

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, leaning back onto the couch. “Look, how old do you think I am?”

“Too old to be here at this age, certainly.” He shrugged and made himself comfortable next to me. Close enough to grab me, but far enough not to invade my personal bubble.

“And why do you think that is?” I looked to the wall, hoping to find a distraction to focus on anything else but how close he was. But found nothing but pristine white.

“This world’s god is cruel.” He said. “It seemed they chose to bless you instead of damning you to the fate of your elders.”

I laughed. “Bless me?” I ran my hands faster through my hair, tugging at the ends to ground me. “What kind of blessing is this? I’m stuck down here to live until old age, vitamin deficiency or illness takes me? I’d rather be with my friends and family.”

You could join them. There’s plenty of spaces to do so. You could fly like an angel.

“You could always make your situation better.” His voice softened.

“That’s why I’m here.” I took my hands from my hair and began to fiddle with my identification tag. “I thought if I struck a deal with you, I’d get the opportunity to make things better. To make things as they should be.”

“But if you were to make things as they should be, then I know the real reason you want those pills, don’t you?”

“I didn’t mean it like that I—” I felt my throat close. Tears stung the back of my eyes, I fought desperately to bite them back.

This didn’t go unnoticed.

“You did, and it’s okay.” His hand made its way to my hair. I couldn’t find the strength to fight him. It’s not like he was going to harm me if he wanted this deal to work. “You know your very existence is a burden to you. And you want to fix it. You humans were always so independent.” He whispered. He paused to take off his glove and used his sharp nails to comb my hair. “But you know it’s okay to ask for help, right?”

“Nobody would give me help. They wouldn’t understand or wouldn’t care. I’d rather just…” I swallowed hard.

“End it? Now don’t be ridiculous.” He placed my head on his shoulder, presumably for easier access. “What if there truly isn’t a happy end if you end it? You’d lament not fixing it while you could. And suicide isn’t beneficial to anyone, little lamb.” His hand reached to touch my face. Despite his hands being cold, something inside me warmed.

This can’t be right. It isn’t right. He’s a vampire he’s just like the rest of them—

But he cares.

No. He doesn’t he just wants me to think he does.

But what if he truly does care?

“Why are you even trying to talk me down? Wouldn’t it be better for you to just give me the pills and then you get a drink?” It’s not like I didn’t have a plan B if he said no.

“How selfish do you think I am? I’m wounded.” He pulled my head onto his lap, his hands playing with tufts and braiding the longer pieces. “Who would want someone else to take their life for the sake of a meal?”

I averted my eyes. I sounded like a dick now. “I didn’t think of it like that. I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t apologize. That seems to be a nasty habit that you’ll have to break.” He said. “And I have an idea that could be beneficial to both of us in the long term, if you’re interested.” His hand moved my head to look up. I could see his furrowed brow and soft smile. I felt the remaining fears I had slowly dissipate.

“Yeah?”

“You can stay with me. I think I would miss you if you were gone.”

“You… You would?”

“Of course, I would. You’re full of untapped potential. And I think I could help ease those pains preventing them from coming to fruition.” He smiled. “All you have to do is say yes~.”

I slowly sat up, taking in his words.

He could make you feel wanted. You didn’t need to run anymore.

“I…”

You could have someone take care of you and like you for you, isn’t that all you’ve wanted? Someone who knows how to make things better? Someone who can save you?

“I think… I would like that.”

His smile reached his eyes. “As would I, my dear.” He hoisted me onto his lap. “Now, to seal the deal.” He unbuttoned the top few buttons of my uniform and removed my identification collar. “Have you ever been bitten directly?”

I shook my head.

“Now don’t worry. It won’t hurt for long. Like a pinprick.” He gave my nose a small bop. “Like a more organic needle. Just, try not to squirm too much. I don’t want to accidentally rip your internal carotid, and I’m sure you wouldn’t want that either.”

I took a deep breath. “Okay…” I tried to calm my nerves. “okay I can do this.”

He placed his hand on the small of my back and gently pushed me to his chest. “On the count of three, alright?”

I flexed my fingers, trying to ease my nerves. “Alright…”

“One…”

I felt his warm breath on my neck, making me tense.

He rubbed my head with his free hand. “Two…”

I squeezed my eyes shut.

“Three.”

It was much more painful than he had said. It felt like two spears digging perpendicularly into my skin. Slow and agonizing. I gripped his coat tightly. His hands continued to attempt to soothe me.

“Shhh~ The pain won’t last much longer.” He cooed. I could feel his lips moving on my skin at he talked.

The pain didn’t go away, but something arose within. The area where his fangs pierced me grew numb. I could still feel his fangs in my skin, its presence foreign. But it wasn’t uncomfortable.

It felt like warmth and welcome, if those feelings could resonate inside. My mind grew foggier. Pleasantly ignorant. I couldn’t hear anything else but the faint slurping and my own heartbeat. It was nice. I felt my eyes roll back and my body grow weaker. I gave Ferid’s coat a fatigued tug.

He pulled away slowly, and I whined at the loss. I slumped against his shoulder, the last of my remaining strength left along with his fangs.

His hand moved from the back of my head to my shoulders. He stood up with me in his arms. My eyes fought to stay open. I saw the faint image of Ferid’s face with a small stream of blood falling from his lips.

The light from the candle illuminated the space behind him, bathing him in a heavenly glow. He seemed a little livelier than before, too.

“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

I tried to get a word out, but it came out a strangled whimper.

He smiled and shook his head, tutting softly. “I think I took too much, don’t you?” He walked down the hall with my limp body in his arms.

Ferid arrived in a large bedroom and placed me neatly under the covers and tucked me in. He sat next to me on my left side. He brushed a few stray hairs from my face and gave me a small kiss on the forehead.

“I do believe you need your rest. I’ll be back when you wake, my dear. I promise.” His hand moved from my forehead to my cheek as he gave it one final caress.

In my failing consciousness, I heard a gentle laugh

“Sleep well my lamb you’ll feel better in the morning. You’ll never feel empty again.”

And in the enveloping darkness, I saw him smirk.

#yandere seraph of the end #yandere ferid #ferid bathory #yandere owari no seraph #yandere writing #reader insert #yandere vampire

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greengrayeyeswrites · 3 years

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shit-faced in love (chapter four)

Title: shit-faced in love

Pairing: Corpse Husband x OC (fem!youtuber!reader)

Word Count: 1,181

Warnings: Mental Health/Mental Illnesses are a big topic in this story. Mentions of depression, bpd and other mental illnesses. Angst, Fluff.

Note: This may be a Corpse x OC story but feel free to insert yourself into the main girls role. If Corpse ever announces that he doesn’t like fanfics about him, I’ll delete this.

Prologue — Chapter 1 — Chapter 2 — Chapter 3 — Chapter 4 — Chapter 5

_ _ _

Imogen enjoyed her time in Houston to the fullest. Even if she had to wear her mask at all times. Spending time with Baylee and finally getting to know her best friend in real life, meant the world to her.

The day after Japan Con, where a lot of visitors asked Imogen to sign her notebooks and phones, a lot of hashtags were trending. #imogenblacksus was one of them and Imogen didn’t really understand the issue, until Baylee explained her the issues her fans had with the black Among Us character she bought.

„Are you serious?“ Imogen had asked, while feeding Buddy and looking at her laptop—that was on top of the dinner table, uploading a new Buddy Vlog. „I wish I would be joking“, Baylee said, browsing through Twitter. „This one update page of yours, imogenhenupdts, posted a whole thread about us on Japan Con. Well, more about you but my name was said as well.“ Baylee chuckled and Imogen lifted her eyebrow.

„I always wonder where they get those informations.“ Imogen shook her head. „The fact that they called the insider OP though… seems like they were a K-Pop fan account before they were yours.“ Baylee said and read through the thread once again.

„Lol, your fans can’t live with the fact that you chose Corpse’s color! You should make Corpse’s mask for him!“ Baylee laughed and Imogen pressed her lips together. „That reminds me! I wanted to tell him!“ Imogen grabbed her phone and texted the younger male.

Imogen could hear Corpse’s confused voice in her head and started laughing. She turned the phone to Baylee who chuckled. „He seems confused“, Baylee chuckled, still scrolling through Twitter.

Imogen chuckled and texted Corpse that he should add Corpse-Astronauts into his merchandise. The boy only answered with a confused emoji and Imogen chuckled.

„What are your plans, Imogen?“ Baylee suddenly asked and Imogen put the phone away. „Plans?“ - „Yeah. You bought a one-way ticket to the states. What are your plans here?“

Imogen was quiet for a while. She leaned back into the green chair she was sitting in. „Well, first I wanted to spend some time with you. You’re off work for the whole week, right?“ She asked and Baylee nodded. „Mr Beast invited me to join one of his videos“ Imogen continued. „Then I wanted to meet Rae and Sykkuno and of course my“ Imogen took a deep breath, „my pole dance classes in San Diego.“

Baylee and Imogen looked at each other and Baylee started laughing. „I still can’t believe this is happening. You’re doing pole dancing.“ Baylee laughed. „This seems so weird. But we both know what your real reason visiting San Diego is.“

Imogen felt heat creep up into her cheeks. „I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m planning to visit the whole country.“ - „Then why aren’t you visiting Dream in Florida?“ Another heat wave crept up into Imogen’s cheeks. „Baylee…“ - „We both know that you are visiting Mr No-Face, Corpse.“

Imogen looked away. „Maybe I am. But it’s not a big deal. He’s just another friend of mine.“ - „A friend who’s Among Us color you got when there were a ton of white ones.“ Imogen opened her mouth. „Now you sound exactly like that update page of mine!“ Baylee started laughing.

„I like teasing you, Mo. You know that!“ - „I do. I feel it, very vividly.“ Imogen acted as if she had to gag and Baylee chuckled. „Jokes aside. Why aren’t you visiting Dream?“ Imogen lifted her arms. „Excuse me? He’s super famous!“

„And so are you?“ Baylee lifted her shoulders. „I only played Among Us with him once. We’re not really friends. He has a whole other streaming friend group than I do. We’re just acquainted.“

„In case you ever get to know him more, hmu. I want to know all about him!“ Baylee’s eyes glimmered and Imogen opened her mouth. „I am so disappointed! What happened with your undying love for Seán?“ Baylee ignored the Irish woman and stood up. „I need to head home. I promised my mum to take care of the dinner tonight.“ - „Way to ignore the topic“, Imogen grinned but stood up and followed her best friend to the door.

„I’m streaming Pummel Party with some of my friends tonight, in case you want to log in and watch my stream“ Imogen smiled and Baylee nodded. „I won’t ever miss any of your streams, Mo. You know that.“ Imogen nodded and waved Baylee before closing the door behind her. „Bud, we have a great friend, don’t we?“ She asked and Buddy slowly lifted his head and looked at Imogen, before laying down again.

Imogen sat down on the couch, Buddy lifted his head once more and scooted closer, before laying his head on Imogen’s lap. The woman started patting his head, while scrolling through the pictures she and Baylee had taken these past days.

After finding one, she quickly posted it on her Instagram, looking at the comments and likes that were slowly rolling in.

Imogen smiled at her phone and locked it. She enjoyed being with Baylee a lot. Yet she knew, she couldn’t stay in the states forever.

Panic crept up her back and Imogen closed her eyes. She knew that she couldn’t run away from her home in Ireland—and she didn’t wanted to do that. But staying in Houston with Baylee felt like healing.

It felt like all the weight of her mental illness and her fight against BPD and depression was taken off her shoulders. She felt like a normal woman and not one with major mental issues.

She sighed, while her eyes filled with tears. She felt an episode creeping up. „Buddy“ she called and the dog immediately lifted his head. He stared at Imogen with intense eyes, waiting to calm her down.

She felt low and sad all of a sudden. Her mouth tasted irony and her heart hurt. Tears were threatening to spill from her eyes and she grabbed Buddy’s fur. The dog scooted closer and licked her cheeks.

Imogen took a deep breath and the tears spilled. She started crying and shivering, hiding in Buddy’s fur. She hated feeling like that. Even though she was medicated, these quick mood swings ruined her.

She was feeling happy just a second ago. And now she felt empty and sad and just wanted to sleep. With a sigh she grabbed her phone and tweeted out, that she wouldn’t join tonights Pummel Party stream. Her fans were worried and quickly tweeted encouraging words, but Imogen had already shifted and was in her black and white thinking.

She texted her friends and told them, that she wouldn’t join tonight and wouldn’t stream. She told them she wasn’t feeling well. She wouldn’t tell them that she fell into a hole of self loathing and sadness. She couldn’t put this on them.

Imogen looked at Buddy and sighed. „Let’s just hope this episode ends quick“ she whispered and held her dog close. She hated this feeling. She absolutely hated it.

to be continued...

Taglist: @wineandionysus @chanbaeol

#corpse husband #corpse husband fandom #corpse fandom #corpse fanfiction #corpse husband imagine #corpse #fanficiton #imagine #corpse x reader #corpse x oc #corpse x you #corpse x yn #corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x oc #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x yn

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randomly-active · 2 years

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hallo ! i’m back on the whiteboard today ! yay ?! :D

so uhm - i’ve made another one to my collection

my oc , i mean , but a „fnaf : SECURITY BREACH” version of them !

who’s gonna be excited about this ? i wouldn’t know until i show the doodles later on ( :

⭐️

now , i have no clue if this idea was already done before and i haven’t came across ‘em yet - but - this version of my oc is an ✨ASTRONAUT✨ (except they wear a white bucket hat instead of an actual helmet)

somewhat human , a female at birth , prefers they / them pronouns but she / her pronouns are okay too

personality can be quite - unpredictable . it all depends on the people she’s with .

they work with the daycare attendants ; both sundrop and moondrop . their job is to mostly keep an eye on the two to prevent any more „incidents” from happening , maybe help entertain / take care of the children when asked or needed .

oh ! she wears a harness underneath the jumpsuit so the wire thingy can connect to the hook thing on their back , letting the astronaut fly around the daycare like moondrop can .

however , during the day shifts , the astronaut would eat an energizer candy or two - depending on how slow and tired they are that morning . she doesn’t take the melatonin candies , needing to be awake for the night shifts in case something interesting happens .

speaking of night shifts , i’d like to think about the idea of the astronaut and moon beating the sh[it] outta intruders - not enough to [k]ill them , but in a tag team wrestling way . but that’s just an idea .

the astronaut would still like a lil stress toy in case she restrains from using some physical ways for too long .

⭐️

and that’s all i have for this post today .

(sorry about how the boots were drawn and the lack of color in this doodle .)

i’ll probably draw some more of them when i can - feel free to ask questions about ‘em too and i’ll try to answer the best i can .

thank you for coming by !

#fnaf oc #daycare assistant #fnaf daycare oc #fnaf security breach #fnaf sb #whiteboard fox

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gumnut-logic · 3 years

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Callisto (Fallout - Bit 3)

Prologue Incident - Bit 1 | Bit 2 Fallout - Bit 1 | Bit 2 | Bit 3

Here we have the last bit of Part One. After this, things start to get moving. Things certainly weren’t planned to take this long, but apparently Jeff threw a spanner in the works with demanding to go along for the ride and the boys were not impressed. I’m currently approaching 10,000 words in this fic and enjoying it immensely. Thank you for your patience.

Many, many continuing thanks to @tsarinatorment @scribbles97 and @janetm74 for the buckets of support they have been providing me with. This definitely wouldn’t be what it is without these guys. They’re working hard :D

Many thanks to all of you who are cheering me on. You are amazing ::hugs you all::

I hope you enjoy this bit.

-o-o-o-

“Is there any way we can exclude him from this mission?”

“Gords, you’re asking me to find a way to stop Dad? Why?” Alan eyed Brains sitting beside him. The engineer was absorbed in his tablet, but Alan suspected he was listening anyway.

He ran through pre-flight in prep for disengagement. Three was docked and integrated into the Excel. Separating from the great ship was considerably different from an all out launch from Three’s silo on the Island. It took a little extra finesse.

Gordon’s uniformed hologram hung above the main console, agitation in every movement. “Because he shouldn’t be doing this. Virgil is worried sick about his health. This could set him back – a lot.”

“If it is that bad, get Virgil to lay down the law.” Pre-flight complete, Alan brought up Three’s engines, eyes tracking as each came up green on his board. A nudge to the forward thrusters and she began drifting backwards and out of her docking bay.

“You saw him, he tried that. It didn’t work.”

“Get him to try again.”

“You didn’t see what he was like after. What he did to Scott. Dad was cold, Allie. Damned cold and didn’t care.”

“You’re kidding.” Three slipped free and he manoeuvred her away from the Excel before turning her towards a re-entry trajectory.

“No, I’m not. Dad is going and nothing is going to stop him.”

Brains looked up at that, but didn’t say anything. Gordon was obviously unaware that Brains was even there. The aquanaut had to know Alan was returning him to the Island before their departure. It was a sign of how agitated his brother actually was. What the hell had happened after John signed off?

“Why are you asking me?” He double checked the computer’s calculations and gave the trajectory go ahead.

“You’re an astronaut. You can talk the talk.”

“That’s bullshit, Gords, and you know it. You know the deal as much as I do.” Though admittedly, space was Gordon’s least favourite medium. Virgil tolerated it, but Gordon was definitely not a fan despite the similarities between deep space and deep ocean.

Or perhaps the lack of similarity.

Deep ocean wasn’t Alan’s favourite medium either. It flipped the equation – in space everything wanted to get out, in water everything wanted to get in.

Maybe Gordon had a point.

“Talk to Grandma.” The bow of Three lit up red as she breached the edge of the atmosphere and started carving her way down.

Gordon didn’t immediately comment on that and Alan understood why. Going around Dad was…difficult and had repercussions.

Virgil managed it with health issues, but it was a sticking point. One or both parents could roast any younger Tracy alive.

There had been arguments.

Alan loved his father, but the new family dynamics were sometimes tricky to navigate.

“I might have to.” Gordon’s voice was sad. “He won’t listen to any of us.” A grunt. “Except John.”

Alan swallowed as the fire at the bow of his ‘bird began to calm, the blue of ocean in the distance taking over. Always a relief post re-entry, it was also very beautiful from this high angle so far above the clouds.

“John has a point.”

“What?! You agree with John?!” The immediate anger in Gordon’s voice actually hurt.

“I didn’t say that. I just think we need to look at this from both points of view.”

“Who’s point of view, Alan? This is Dad’s health at stake, there is no other point of view.”

Alan sighed, the Pacific ever so blue beneath him, the puffs of white clouds looming ever closer as he approached.

“What about Uncle Lee? What does he say about this? He’s Dad’s age and is still operating in space.” Actually, come to think of it. Uncle Lee was currently on Earth. Something about sourcing extra funding. Alan had fetched him about a month ago.

“Uncle Lee didn’t spend eight years stranded in the middle of nowhere.”

“Ask him anyway. He knows the deal. And Dad listens to him, doesn’t he?” An old astronauts’ club of two happened whenever the two of them managed to make time to get together. Alan had been taxi driver for the older man on more than one occasion recently.

Aotearoa loomed to his left as Australia set below the clouds, Three following to finally dip between the white of cirrus and alto-cumulus. He skipped along the Kermadec Ridge over the top of Raoul, and Tracy Island finally appeared below.

The Island’s security system gave him a green light and, killing almost all his speed, Alan manoeuvred his ‘bird into vertical flight on approach to docking.

A pause midair, and he let her drop ever so smoothly down through the roundhouse and into her gantry.

Exhaust puffed up in clouds around her cockpit as he disengaged her engines and let her settle with the creak of well worked machinery.

Brains packed away his tablet ready to disembark, but Alan lay back in his pilot’s seat and let out a breath. “Gords?”

But the signal was gone and his brother didn’t answer.

-o-o-o-

“Mom?”

The sound of her son’s voice on comms made her jump just a little. It was in sharp contrast to the quiet of the sterile waiting room.

It wasn’t that she was unfamiliar with using comms, it was just unusual off the Island and likely it meant something not good.

She touched her collar as she stood up, eyeing the receptionist and making her way outside the building for privacy. “Jeff?”

“We have a situation.”

That was nothing unusual. “Do you need me?”

“No. no.”

There was something in his voice that had her immediately suspicious. “Jefferson, out with it.”

“There is an emergency on Callisto. Berry and Ju have gone missing.”

She had a moment to blink, connect the dots and do the calculations before he said exactly what she feared he would.

“I’m going.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Mom-“

“You know your medical condition. That distance is too far and too dangerous.”

“We’re taking the Excel. The length of time will be minimal. I need to be there. These are my people.”

“Still far too much of a risk.”

“Mom, I have to do this.” She heard him swallow. “I-I have to get out there again.”

She held her breath, reminded of the nightmares, the sight of her ill son as he struggled to regain pretty much everything. She was so proud of him.

“What does Scott have to say about it?”

“He has made his opinion clear. As have Virgil and Gordon.”

Hell. She left home for a day. A single day, and the family imploded.

But then her grandsons had their own nightmares.

“Mom, I have to do this.” The repetition, the resolution in his voice was so familiar…

She blinked. “I know.” It was out before thought and it hurt.

“We’re dropping communication buoys on the way out so we can keep in touch real time.” He paused. “How are you doing?”

How was she doing? A little worse than a moment ago. “I’m fine, Jefferson. Don’t you worry.”

“Mom…keep me updated.”

She swallowed. “It’s going to be alright, honey. You look after yourself and our boys.” Her throat clogged up.

“I love you, Mom.”

She forced the clog down. “I love you, too, honey.” Another hard swallow. “Fly safe.” She had to blink to clear her vision.

“Tracy Island out.”

And he was gone.

The clog in her throat returned as a sudden sob and she clamped her hand over her mouth to keep it in. The world blurred around her and wouldn’t clear.

A warm northerly wind tangled in her hair.

God, please be safe.

-o-o-o-

#thunderbirds are go #thunderbirds #thunderbirds fanfiction #Gordon Tracy #Alan Tracy #Jeff Tracy #Grandma Tracy #Sally Tracy #callisto

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inevitably-johnlocked · 4 years

Note

Hi :) I... really wanna read a fanfic or two but I can't find one I vibe with xD So... do you know one that's not too long (around 100k words maybe), has hurt and comfort, smut (am I allowed to ask about that?? Ahhhh) and a happy ending? Top!lock would be a bonus but it's not necessary. And if it's a nice AU (like... any kind but no crossovers pls), it would be perfect! :D By the way, I found your blog only a few hours ago and I already feel really comfy and Idk, kinda at home here ^-^

Hi Nonny!!!

Welcome to my corner of the Tumblrsphere!!! I’m so happy you’ve found me, LOL, because I love all my followers and friends! <3

First of all, I think it’s super cute that “not too long” to you is “around 100K” LOL LOL LOL!!! <3 That said, I’d argue all my fic recs are fabulous, LOL. But again, I’m stupidly proud of the wonderful lists I’ve accumulated, because it satisfies my organization kink LOL. And yes, you’re ALWAYS allowed to ask for smut here LOL.

ANYWAY, so I’m gonna use this ask as an excuse to post up a long-overdue part two to my 50 to 100K fic list! But first, here’s some past lists for the genres you’re looking for:

FIC MASTER PAGES: PG1 || PG 2 || PG 3

Toplock (Mar 2020)

Omegaverse

Please Check PG 3 for all my AU fic lists. There’s a lot :)

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 1: Under 5K Words

Hurt / Comfort Pt. 2: 5K to 10K Words

Fandom Favourites / Popular Fics

I hope those will get you started! So now, here’s the main event!! Hope you enjoy them!

50 - 100 K WORDS Pt. 2 (Novel Length)

See also:

Fics Under 2000 w.

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 2

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt. 3

E-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 1 (Short Fics under 20K)

Novella Length Fics: 25 to 50K (Aug. 2019)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018)

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Long S3/Post-S3 Fics (20K+ w.) [Apr 2020]

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug 2019)

The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by SilentAuror (E, 50,635 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4/S4 Divergence, Case Fic, For a Case / Reverse Fake-Relationship, Conferences, Marriage Equality, Travelling / New York, Pride, Homophobia, Bottomlock, Marriage Proposal, John POV, Sexuality, Love Confessions, Emotional Love Making, Public Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, Passionate Kissing, Needy/Clingy Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Touching / Hand Holding, Bed Sharing, Little Spoon Sherlock, Intense Orgasms) – John and Sherlock go to New York to attend a conference run by the National Defence of Traditional Marriage Coalition in order to investigate the potential bombing of the annual Manhattan Pride parade. As the conference unfolds, John finds himself repulsed by the toxic ideology being presented, which becomes relevent to his own unacknowledged issues and his friendship with Sherlock...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Points by lifeonmars (E, 53,791 w., 42 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || HLV Rewrite / Canon Divergence, Married Life, Pregnancy / Baby Watson, Drinking to Cope, Boxing / Fisticuffs, Clueless John, Angst, Minor Medical Drama, Tattoos, Christmas, First Kiss/Time, Eventual Happy Ending, Love Confessions, Doctor John, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Case Fic, Drugging, Blow/Hand Job, Emotional Love Making, Parenthood, Passage of Time) – What if His Last Vow never happened? This fic picks up a few months after John and Mary's wedding, in an alternate universe where Magnussen doesn't exist, but Mary is still pregnant. Life continues -- just in a different direction. And slowly, Sherlock and John find their way to each other.

Never Change a Running System by Lorelei_Lee (E, 54,246 w. || Pre-TRF, Romance, Humour, Drama, Sex Toys, Anal, Rimming, Masturbation, Frottage, Blow Jobs, Public Sex, First Kiss / Time, Virgin Sherlock / Loss of Virginity, Accidental Voyeurism, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Experiments, Naive Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Straight With an Exception John, Hand Jobs) – Sherlock discovers his sexuality – with far-reaching consequences for John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of the SpaceBois go to Space series

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

One Little Change by jadztone (E, 58,312 w. || ASiB Divergence, Fake Relationship, Bed Sharing, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss / Time, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bi John / Gay Demisexual Sherlock, Switchlock, Alternating POV, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Case Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Emotional Love Making, Butt Plugs, Cuddles) – Our story begins right after John and Sherlock's first meeting with Irene Adler in September. It splits off into an AU that imagines them taking a case where they act as bait to hook a killer targeting closeted gays in secret relationships. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, many things happen that have our boys wondering if maybe they have a chance with each other. Then Irene fakes her death on Christmas Eve, and things get a lot more complicated - especially since they still have a killer to catch.

floating through a dark blue sky by Lediona (M, 58,966 w. || Notting Hilll AU || POV John, Celebrity Sherlock, First Date / Time / Kiss, Past Drug Addiction, Angst with a Happy Ending) – Of course, I’d seen his films and always thought he was, well, brilliant -- but, you know, a million miles from the world I live in. Or, when John is the owner of a travel book shop and the famous Sherlock Holmes stops in one day.

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

This Thing All Things Devours by cypress_tree (E, 63,844 w., 15 Ch. || In Time AU || Science Fiction, Dystopian Universe, First Meetings, Action / Adventure, Romance) – In 2169, time is money—literally. Humans are genetically engineered to stop aging at 25, when the numbers on their arm start counting down from one year. When that time is up, they die. The only way to get more time is to earn it, borrow it, or steal it.John Watson lives day-to-day in the crowded slums of Zone 13. He never imagined living any differently—until he meets the practically-immortal Sherlock, and helps him on a case to track a local time-thief...

The Bells of King's College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It's only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths...

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU || Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

White Knight by DiscordantWords (M, 69,840 w., 13 Ch. || S4 Compliant/Post S4, Marriage For a Case, Jealous John, Pining John, Janine / Sherlock Fake Relationship, Serial Killers, Case Fic, Undercover as a Couple, Weddings, John is a Mess, Misunderstandings, Wedding Planning, Jealousy, Drunkenness, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – Green. The word green was used to convey a great many things. Illness. Envy. Inexperience. Standing there amidst Janine's chattering bridesmaids, watching Sherlock furrow his brow and study fabric swatches, watching him smile and simper and flirt, John thought it a remarkably apt colour choice. Because he felt quite sick to his stomach, he feared the source of said sickness might very well be jealousy, and he had absolutely no idea at all what to do about it. Or: Sherlock needs to fake a relationship for a case. He doesn't ask John.

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

Just To Hold You Close by sussexbound (E, 70,841 w., 18 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting, Sherlock POV, ASD Sherlock, PTSD John, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Cuddling/Snuggling, Platonic Cuddling, Enthusiastic Consent, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, First Kiss/Time, Sexual Tension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Cuddle Negotiations, For a Case Until It Isn’t, Hair Petting, Sexual Negotiation, Anxiety, Trust Issues, Slow Burn, Panic Attacks, Frottage, Hand/Blow Jobs, Referenced Self Harm / Abuse / Suicidal Ideation, First Kiss/Time, Anal) – When a woman is murdered and the last person to see her alive is recently invalided army vet turned reluctant (and prickly) professional cuddler, John Watson, Sherlock Holmes is pulled into a world of intimacy and intrigue he never could have imagined. John is a conundrum and mystery: frank yet reserved, tender yet angry, open yet afraid. Sherlock is instantly drawn into his orbit, and begins to feel and desire things he never has before.

The Vapor Variant by 88thParallel (M, 72,684 w., 18 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-THoB, John Whump, Protective Sherlock, Guilty Sherlock, Anxious/Worried Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, PTSD John, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Suspense, Virus, Sickfic, Big Brother Mycroft) – They stood face to face in the middle of a clearing. The dim light of the moon barely allowed Sherlock to see the glassy terror in John’s eyes and the sweat that glistened off his forehead. His nose was bleeding again, blood dripping in a slow stream from his right nostril. They were both gasping for air, John’s eyes locked on Sherlock’s. There was no recognition there, just wild animal fear. Time stood still for an eternal few seconds, and Sherlock took a shaky breath. “John—”Spell broken, John spun and bolted back into the woods. Still heaving for air, Sherlock took off after him.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) – A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater / Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

The Summer Boy by khorazir (T, 94,706 w., 6 Ch. || Post S3/Post TAB/Alternate S4, Friends to Lovers, Flashbacks, Sussex, Bullying, 1980′s Kid Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Inexperienced Sherlock, Grief/Mourning, Pining Sherlock, Background Case Fic) – About half a year after the fateful events at Appledore, Sherlock and John embark on a private case in Sussex. For Sherlock, it’s a journey into his past, bringing up memories both happy and sad that he has locked away for almost thirty years. For John, it means coming to terms with the present – and a potential future with Sherlock. Part 1 of the The Summer Boy series

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU || BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

31_Days_of_Porn_Challenge_2017 Series by distantstarlight (E, 96,540 w. across 31 stories || Prompt Ficlets, Assorted Kinks, PWP) – A collection in response to the 31 Days of Porn Challenge issued by AtlinMerrik! Thanks for doing that because this has been buttload of fun (that joke never gets old). All stories will be brief stand-alone one-shots.

The Baker Street Nativity by SwissMiss (E, 99,662 w., 23 Ch. || Nativity! AU || Teacher Sherlock / TA John, Pining, Sherlock POV, UST, Angst, Christmas, Music/Song Fic, Anal / BJ’s, First Kiss / Time) – Fusion between Sherlock (BBC) and Nativity! (2009 movie starring Martin Freeman). Sherlock is a primary school teacher and John is assigned to be his classroom assistant. Together, they are charged with putting on the school's Nativity play. What could possibly go wrong? Part 1 of The Baker Street Nativity Verse

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

#steph replies #johnlock fic recs #my fic recs #long fics #50 to 100k #Anonymous #fic rec wednesday #e-rated fics

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thepoliticalpatient · 4 years

Text

RBG’s death all but guarantees the loss of the ACA

Last night was almost as hard and scary as election night, for me.

I will try to keep this brief as I can and so will be focusing on the impact of RBG’s death on healthcare policy in the US. Her death is a tragedy in many other ways, of course. She was a groundbreaking and iconic figure in the judiciary. She was forced to continue working through numerous illnesses and on her deathbed because she was in the position of serving as a 5′1″ human barrier between our already terrible reality and a much more terrible one. and And of course, her death will have numerous awful political consequences in subjects outside of healthcare. I will not be touching on any of that here. I’m sorry, I know it’s incredibly gross to move straight into the politics so fast, but there are millions of lives on the line and we have no time to lose!

The case against the ACA, now called California v. Texas, will start oral arguments on November 10, one week after the election. I have already written a number of posts on the background of this case - this one explains the basis for the case, and this one describes how the lower court has already ruled.

Obviously none of us can tell the future, but before RBG’s death, most folks were pretty optimistic about this case working out in favor of the ACA 5-4. All 5 justices who ruled in favor of the ACA in one of its previous challenges, NFIB v. Sebelius, were still on the court. Obviously this has now changed.

So the case will be heard starting on November 10. From there we should probably expect it to take months to come to a decision. Let’s talk about scenarios:

Trump and Senate Republicans manage to force through a nominee before the election

We all remember 2016 when McConnell refused to hold hearings for the nomination of Merrick Garland to SCOTUS because it was an election year. That seat was stolen by Neil Gorsuch after Trump’s election.

Surprising nobody, McConnell is a hypocrite. RBG’s body was still warm yesterday when he started politicking, releasing a statement indicating that he intends to fill the seat before the election.

If he succeeds, then of course the ACA’s chances are very slim of surviving a challenge in a 6-3 majority conservative SCOTUS.

We delay the confirmation until after inauguration

There is a nonzero possibility that this confirmation can be delayed until the new president is elected and inaugurated.

Republicans have a 53-47 majority in the Senate right now; they need 50 votes to approve a SCOTUS justice (Pence breaks ties). Prior to RBG’s death, several sitting Senate Republicans stated that they would oppose voting on a nominee during the 2020 election year in order to be consistent with what they did in 2016. Take for instance this absolutely chef kiss video of Lindsey Graham:

https://twitter.com/vanitaguptaCR/status/1307153104941518848

I want you to use my words against me. If there’s a Republican president in 2016 and a vacancy occurs in the last year of the first term, you can say Lindsey Graham said let’s let the next president, whoever it might be, make that nomination.

Other Republican Senators who have made similar statements:

Lisa Murkowski: https://www.alaskapublic.org/2020/09/18/alaska-senator-murkowski-said-friday-she-would-not-vote-for-a-justice-ahead-of-election/

Chuck Grassley: https://thehill.com/business-a-lobbying/410686-grassley-says-judiciary-panel-wouldnt-consider-supreme-court-nominee-in

Susan Collins?: https://twitter.com/jmartNYT/status/1307112333253148672

Mitt Romney? Mixed signals. There’s this, https://twitter.com/JimDabakis/status/1307120855454044160, but his staff denies it: https://twitter.com/LJ0hnson/status/1307129082971385858

Sorry my sources aren’t better on some of these; this is all I’ve got right now. We will have to listen to what these 5 say over the next few days. We only need 4 of them to vote no. If any of them conveniently “change their minds” they will probably cite McConnell’s logic that this year is somehow different because Obama was a lame duck in 2016. Susan Collins and Lindsey Graham in particular might be pressurable because they’re both facing very tough challenges for their seats this year. We should keep the pressure on by pledging donations to their opponents, Sara Gideon and Jaime Harrison, in the event that they make the hypocritical decision to approve a nominee less than 2 months before an election.

I know we can’t trust these people as far as we can throw them but we have to try. What other choice do we have?

Another factor here is the special election in AZ. Martha McSally was appointed to John McCain’s seat after his death, after she previously lost her election against Kyrsten Sinema. She is being challenged this year by astronaut Mark Kelly, who is polling very well. If he wins, because of special election rules, he could be sworn in as early as November 30, reducing the Republican majority in the Senate well ahead of inauguration day.

McSally has already stated that she will vote for a nominee before the election: https://twitter.com/SenMcSallyAZ/status/1307123253845032960

Unfortunately, merely delaying the confirmation of a new justice won’t be enough to save the ACA

The situation is every bit as bad for the ACA against an 8 justice court as it would be against a court with a new conservative justice. In the case of a 4-4 tied decision, the lower court’s decision holds. And the Fifth Circuit’s ruling was that the fate of the ACA should be left to district judge Reed O’Connor, a far-right activist judge who already ruled that the entire ACA should be thrown into the garbage.

The only hope it has is if we both delay the confirmation of a new judge, elect Joe Biden, elect a Senate that will not be hostile to his nominee, and get that nominee through, all before the case is decided. The case will begin with oral arguments on November 10.

A legislative salvation for the ACA?

If we get control of both branches of Congress and the presidency, there is a very easy way to save the ACA. The entire case is null and void if we reinstate the individual mandate’s tax at any amount over $0. A $1 tax would save it. A Democratically-controlled Congress could pass such legislation with a simple majority.

But maybe we should just let it die?

Some members of the left seem to think it’s not such a big deal if the ACA goes under. Their argument is that without the ACA, the case for Medicare for All will become more urgent. They don’t care about the chronically ill and disabled people who will die without protections in the meantime. And besides that, what chance does M4A have of surviving a 6-3 conservative SCOTUS? The fucking ACA, as insufficient and centrist as it is, has been challenged mercilessly in the courts by conservatives. This is the third major SCOTUS case they’ve brought against it. M4A would fare no better. In fact, we can expect to say goodbye to any possibility of keeping any progressive policy within our lifetimes under a 6-3 conservative SCOTUS.

So what do we do?

For now, we put the pressure on Murkowski, Grassley, Graham, Collins, and Romney. If you live in AK, IA, SC, ME, or UT, call their offices every damn day until they commit to voting no on any judge nominated before Inauguration day.

Phone numbers:

Murkowski: (202) 224-6665

Grassley: (202) 224-3744

Graham: (202) 224-5972

Collins: (202) 224-2523

Romney: (202) 224-5251

For folks who do not live in those states, pressure your Republican Senators even if it it seems hopeless, and make a lot of noise about donating to the above 5′s opponents if they vote yes. Volunteer to phone or text bank to ask constituents in those 5 states to call those Senators. There’s still plenty you can do.

Then we must do everything we can to elect Joe Biden and a Democratic Senate. Vote on November 3. Phone or text bank for Biden. Adopt a Senate race in a swing state here: https://votesaveamerica.com/adopt-a-state/

If they push a nominee through, it’s time to pack the courts

If they’re going to change the rules on us and confirm a SCOTUS justice in an election year, then we will change the rules on them the minute we get power.

Adding more justices to SCOTUS does not require a Constitutional amendment. It can be done through legislation, and it has been done many times before:

1789-1807: six seats

1807-1837: seven seats

1837-1866: ten seats

1866-1867: nine seats

1867-1869: eight seats

1869-present: nine seats

Even the threat of opening the door to court packing might be enough to convince some Senators not to move forward with this scheme.

But again, in order to pack the court, we need to elect Joe Biden, flip the Senate, and keep the House.

Let’s get to work.

#california v texas #texas v us #aca #affordable care act #obamacare #rbg #ruth bader ginsburg #scotus #supreme court #essay post #healthcare

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skamamoroma · 4 years

Text

I didn’t have time to post after yesterday’s clip but I’m kinda happy I waited till today.

Ohhhhh man.

I genuinely understand both viewpoints here. The boys love Arthur. This is indisputable. They love him and Baz especially adores him with all his heart. The show really has done a stellar job of confirming that, of showing us how much they all mean to one another.

They’ve ALSO done an amazing job of showing us how much Arthur loves them. I feel so sure in how he feels about those 3. He lights up around them, he feels comforted by them, they are his escape and his joy and he surrounds himself with reminders of them from photos in his room to his phone screensaver...

But things have changed a lot and they’re going to change even more. The boys didn’t do what they did on Friday out of malice. That’s so obvious. They were absolutely wrong in what they did but there’s no doubt in my mind they didn’t sit around and plot about how to hurt their friend.

Arthur’s life and how he views and interacts with the world has clearly changed very rapidly and he has had to, very quickly, come to terms with that. He still isn’t there at all. He’s struggling himself and so are those around him, all of them trying to adapt to Arthur’s new needs and he DOES have them. He has also understandably been slow to accept them and also to communicate them.

But he did eventually! The boys have tried various things with Arthur and we saw time and time again that they didn’t work. Arthur eventually spoke about it and explained to them and was told “it doesn’t matter what we do, as long as you’re there”.

And I believe it. I believed Baz when he said that and I still do.

I think the problem is that the three boys want to do all the things they normally do but are worried about Arthur not enjoying it or finding it difficult or being put in a position where he feels forced etc. All of this is ARTHUR’s choice but they made it for him. I can see perhaps how they got there. They wanted to go to a gig, it meant loud noises and overwhelming stimulus and so after what Arthur told them, they thought he wouldn’t enjoy it or be able to feel comfortable and so they tried to spare his feelings and go behind his back.

Not cool. Not ok. Horribly hurtful for Arthur and it even turns out Arthur WAS able to go, was very much able to be there and enjoy it and had even thought of it himself 😫

I saw loads of posts saying the behaviour of the boys was out of character and... I don’t think I 100% agree. It was brutal and I felt disappointed in them and I hurt for Arthur (those tears, man!) but even after all Baz said etc I can still see how they did it. It wasn’t malicious but just horribly done and a little thoughtless. They love Arthur and have shown time and time again how they want to try hard to support him and be there for him. They just screwed up and didnt consider how this might impact Arthur and didn’t give him the respect he deserves to just ASK him. Had they even maybe said “we want to go to this concert, I know it might be loud and you said that stuff might be difficult for you, would it be? Could you still come? Would you have any issues with us going?”. That would have been much better than just making that decision for him and lying consistently!

And then today. Ouch. I felt that. All of it. I felt the hurt and the anger and also the shame and guilt. But Arthur has every right to say what he said and he got it off his chest. I love that they established Arthur as someone who isn’t shy and can be really assertive and kinda forceful when he needs to be.

Baz’s face destroyed me. I have no doubt that he’d have gone home and genuinely cried. They all looked so upset they’d hurt Arthur and I am pleased they were told. I love them all and I think this kind of thing is interesting to develop because we’ve seen that all of the characters have been acting as per the lessons they’ve learned previously BUT this is a different situation. Lucas, for example, is still not infallible. He understands Eliott and loves Eliott and I dare say would NEVER do anything like that with Eliott but at the same time, he is in love with a Eliott so that dynamic shifts stuff and also Eliott has a mental illness and not a physical disability. The way Arthur has to adapt to the world is a little different and presents a different set of considerations and Lucas perhaps hasn’t made the link that some of the feelings Eliott may feel are applicable to Arthur’s situation too.

I desperately want something between Arthur and Eliott. I think Arthur will retreat towards Noèe and Camille and I can’t blame him because they can offer a comfort for him at the moment (and oh god the whole thing with Noèe is going to be messy I fear) but I kinda wish Arthur would have a moment with Eliott because he really truly can provide a viewpoint the others can’t and would be so sweet to him. Eliott can understand having his life flipped upside down and having something that changes how he lives life day to day. Keeping my fingers crossed for that!! Also I desperately want to know what space means to Arthur. Eliott sees himself as a raccoon for various reasons and Arthur seems to use a similar coping mechanism and considers himself a lonely astronaut... navigating a new alien world, by himself.

I am so intrigued as to how they are going to get the boys back together. Their dynamic is so interesting and has depth after all this time. There’s a lot of love there but also they’re young and idiotic at times. I’m pleased they chose to tamper a little with them because, to me, WAY MORE THAN ANYTHING ROMANTIC, they are the most interesting and important dynamic for Arthur.

I just hope Baz isn’t crying too hard right now!

#skam france #i had many thoughts 😂#sf5 ep6 #le gang #arthur broussard

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mandelene · 4 years

Note

Hey Mandy! I was wondering if I could get some hurt/comfort of the FACE fam?

Sorry for not posting this sooner! I started it two days ago and then my mind flew elsewhere lol. I hope you enjoy it! :) I figured since I tortured Madeline, Francis, and Arthur all pretty recently, it’s time to torture Alfred. (And it seems that the only fics I can write during quarantine are sickfics, unsurprisingly.)

Next to You

Word Count: 1118

Six years of being a parent and his heart still drops to his gut every time he hears one of the children crying. He panics. Every time. Even at the smallest hushed whimper.

It’s the middle of the night, 12:42 AM to be exact. The wailing startles Arthur awake and makes the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. Worst-case scenarios flood his mind – there’s a fire, we’re being robbed, someone needs an ambulance. He rolls out of bed in a daze to investigate, and that’s when Francis begins to rouse as well.

“What’s going on?” Francis asks, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He kicks the covers away and searches for his slippers.

Arthur has had a few seconds to process the situation. “I think it’s Alfred.”

“He must be feeling worse.”

Alfred’s been fighting a virus for three days now. It appeared as a cold at first, but has since progressed into a barking cough and fever—symptoms consistent with croup. They’ve been doing their best to keep him comfortable by turning on a humidifier in his room and supplying him with fluids and cough syrup, but clearly, it hasn’t been enough.

Arthur grabs his stethoscope and a thermometer before zipping across the hall. Check for high fever, wheezing, obstruction in the lungs. Encourage postural drainage…

Midway through his mental list, he runs into a concerned Matthew, who is already stationed outside of Alfred’s room in his polar bear pajamas.

“Don’t worry, I’ll check on him, love. You shouldn’t get too close—he’s likely contagious.”

Matthew chews on his bottom lip and looks up at him with somber eyes. “Will he get better soon?”

Before Arthur can have a chance to respond, Francis tiptoes over and wraps his arms around Matthew, trapping him in a hug.

“We’ll take good care of him,” Francis promises.

With that, Arthur lets himself into Alfred’s room and takes in the scene. In the middle of the twin-sized bed decorated with matching astronaut and galaxy themed sheets, Alfred is curled up under his star and moon duvet. He trembles from the force of his sobs and is interrupted by an occasional cough.

“Don’t cry, poppet,” is the first thing Arthur says as he immediately sits himself down next to the boy. He rubs soothing circles into his back and wipes his face clean with several tissues. “What’s wrong?”

“I feel bad!” Alfred whines, tears dripping from his chin.

“I know, love. Let’s take your temperature again, all right? Please, don’t cry. You’ll just aggravate your cough even more,” Arthur murmurs. He places the thermometer he brought with him under Alfred’s tongue and holds it in place with one hand while his other hand pets his head.

“Maybe we should bring him into our room for the night, Arthur,” Francis suggests, still standing in the doorway with Matthew at his side.

“If that’ll help him rest…100.6 degrees. Not worrisome, but certainly high enough to cause some discomfort,” Arthur says, setting the thermometer aside. He puts his stethoscope on and listens to Alfred’s lungs and comes to a similar conclusion—he’s not in any real danger, but it’s obvious why he’s fussing. The small fever and cough must be debilitating.

“Fix it!” Alfred bawls before suffering through another string of painful-sounding coughs.

“I know just the remedy for this,” Arthur assures him with a gentle smile. He tells Francis to lead Matthew back to bed and takes Alfred by the hand. “Come, love.”

He guides Alfred into the bathroom and turns on the showerhead. He turns the knob to the hottest possible setting it’ll go to and closes the door.

“I had a bath already, Dad!”

“You’re not getting a shower or bath. You’re just going to breathe in the steam,” Arthur explains before plopping himself on the tiled floor and motioning for Alfred to sit in his lap. “It’ll help you cough up the mucus in your lungs.”

Alfred gives him a teary-eyed frown but climbs into his lap anyway. “I don’t wanna cough. I’m tired of coughing.”

“I know, but coughing is very important. You don’t want the mucus to sit in your lungs because it can give you pneumonia and make you even more ill.”

Alfred curls up against Arthur’s chest and holds onto him tightly. Another soft sob escapes him.

“You’ll feel better soon,” Arthur says, cupping a hand around the back of his head protectively.

“Promise?”

“Have I ever lied to you?”

“Yeah. You told me last year that if I didn’t eat my vegetables, I would turn into a zombie.”

“That wasn’t a lie.”

“I asked my art teacher and she said that’s not possible.”

“Well, I’ve seen many children turn into zombies from a vegetable deficiency.”

“Really?”

“Mmhmm. Quite common.”

“I don’t believe you. You’re a liar!”

Arthur suppresses a chuckle and feigns offense when Alfred turns around to give him an incredulous look. “You don’t trust your own father?”

“No!”

“Why, the nerve—!” Arthur exclaims before tickling Alfred’s sides.

Alfred squeals with laughter, and some of the light returns to his ocean blue eyes. The laughter, however, triggers his cough, and he starts to hack up phlegm.

“Good. Don’t hold it in, love,” Arthur says, becoming serious once more. He hands Alfred a plastic cup to spit into and firmly claps him on the back.

When he’s done, Alfred stares into the cup and grimaces. “Yuck.”

“Better out than in.”

They stay in the steam-filled bathroom for another 15 minutes, by which point Alfred is too physically drained to move his limbs. Arthur lifts him with a little complaint about how the six-year-old is getting too heavy and carries him back into his and Francis’s room.

“Mon lapin! How are you feeling now?” Francis asks, still awake. He makes space in the middle of the bed for him.

“He’s all right, just very worn out,” Arthur responds, laying an exhausted Alfred down and tucking the duvet around him.

Francis makes a noise of sympathy and brushes a hand against Alfred’s forehead, casting his bangs aside. “Poor thing…We’ll nurse you back to health.”

Arthur occupies the other side of the bed, leaving Alfred between them. “Croup is always worse at night. He should feel much better in the morning. Did Matthew go back to sleep?”

“Oui, and I promised him we’ll let him know if Alfred feels worse. Our boys are attached at the hip.”

Alfred gives another little whine, and both Arthur and Francis cuddle him on either side, offering whatever reassurance they can.

“Rest, mon chou.”

“It’s all right, poppet.”

At last, Alfred calms down and allows sleep to reel him in.

With both of his parents beside him, nothing can hurt him.

#hetalia #aph america #aph canada #aph england #aph france #aph face family #face family #hurt comfort #fluff #sickfic #drabbles

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epicstuckyficrecs · 5 years

Text

2019 New Writers Fic Rec

After seeing some Discourse on Twitter, I decided to make a fic rec with some of my favorite new writers! All of these writers only started posting Stucky fanfic in 2018 or 2019. So here are some “new” writers and some of my favorite fics from them! (in no particular order)

PS: sorry for not putting the trope, word count and rating as I usually do, I wanted to try and make this fic rec quickly!

PS2: also sorry if I chopped all your summaries, but some of them are hella long and this post is already... pretty long.

PS3: this went way past “favorite new writers” and just became “great new writers” because I wanted to prove a point, oops.

verzacefatale

You be yours and I'll be mine : “Oh, god. We got married, didn’t we?”

14-Inch Cock and a Few Hundred Bimbos : There are some things in life, Steve muses as he stares down at his crotch, that nothing can prepare you for. His dick suddenly growing six inches in length and another two in girth, just because he opened a box in a Hydra dug out that maybe he should have read the instructions on before he did? How was he to know it was literally magic that would make his cock grow huge?

2bestfriends

Collar Full of Chemistry : AKA a fantasy BDSM romance featuring heavy mutual pining, feelings denial, and enough kink to blackout a bingo card.

Like Real People Do : AKA the "Lumberjack Steve/Twink Bucky" fic of our hearts.

deadonarrival

100,000 Miles And Feeling Very Still : Steve Rogers took a job at NASA and his life is pretty okay. Maybe not great but he has some good friends and things seem to be mostly stable. Except one day their new astronaut recruit walks in and everything in Steve's life goes upside down.

Latte Art and Slow Dancing in the Dark (WIP): Bucky is a somewhat well-adjusted former army sniper that got his shoulder blown out. He took his discharge and went home to finish school and is working on his international relations masters. His best friends and roommates (Nat & Clint) are CIA agents and tip him off that their local Sbux is hiring. He gets a job there and meets none other than the hottest guy on earth.

voxofthevoid

(series) couldn't get the boy to kill me (ongoing): Captain America and the Winter Soldier are a terrifying duo on the field, working together with a well-oiled precision that tears through their enemies. Captain Rogers and Agent Barnes are distant coworkers, all polite nods and mission briefings. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are fire and gasoline; the sparks between them have no choice but to roar into raging infernos.

happily ever after has bite marks in it : In which Bucky is aggressively okay with his self-imposed exile from society, and Steve is a werewolf who’s nothing like the Brooklyn boy Bucky still dreams of.

darling heart, i loved you from the start (but that's no excuse for the state i'm in) : Or, the one where Steve saves the mind stone for last and decides to fuck the timeline beyond all recognition, which regrettably involves crawling delicately up Hydra's asshole and less regrettably involves showering a very confused Bucky Barnes with affection.

(series): i'm guilty of treason (i've abandoned control) : S.H.I.E.L.D Agent Bucky Barnes is captured on a mission and meets Commander Steve Rogers, the erstwhile Captain America.It escalates quickly.

four dreams in a row where you were burned : When Steve uses the last of his Pym Particles to travel to 1944 and save his best friend, he doesn’t have a plan beyond leaving behind the battlefield and living his life alongside the people he loves. But the life that finds him is not the one he expects.

deisderium

much tattoo about nothing : Steve Rogers gets a lot of email requests, but never one like this: James Barnes wants to use his healing factor to practice tattoos.

(series) tits out, lads : On the walk back from Azzano, Bucky keeps touching Steve's chest. Then he touches it some more. And more.

Let Them Eat Cake : Bucky wanted to know why their new pastry chef had gun calluses on his right hand.

deep dive : In which single dad Bucky Barnes has a crush on his daughter's dive team coach and thirsts awkwardly.

thot through the heart (and you're to blame) : In which Bucky is a baby vampire, a disaster, out to have a good time, and hopelessly in love with his roomate; and in which Steve has a few secrets of his own.

Political Animals (WIP) : or—Steve’s best friend is the U.S. Constitution and he can’t seem to stop fucking a hot Republican. They shouldn’t fall in love, but somehow they do.

thedoubteriswise

time on my hands (could be time spent with you) : "You doing okay, kid?” Steve releases a breath, deciding how honest he wants to be. No point in lying. No point in telling the truth, either. "Glad to see you.""That’s not what I asked, but same to you, punk."

honey don't feed it, it will come back : He’s stroking the cat’s fur, which is soft and fine now that it’s clean. He looks so open and inviting. Steve doesn’t close his eyes, watching Bucky’s gentle fingers and trying to come up with a plausible excuse to go touch him.

Ill With Want : Bucky pretends to be asleep when Steve crawls into bed, too tired to feel guilty over the quivery pleasure that settles in his belly when Steve’s arm brushes his. He drifts to sleep in a comfortable haze and tries not to wonder where this feeling was two hours ago when he had Marie in his lap.

steebadore

Controlled Release : Bucky's just having a little trouble...finishing. Completing the mission. He can squeeze the trigger but he can't make the shot is what he's saying. Which is why he's here, loitering outside a nice brownstone in Park Slope, trying to find the courage to knock on Captain Come Control dot com's door for his three o'clock appointment.

it takes a lot to know a man : Bucky flips to the next page, and the world around him grinds to a halt as his brain struggles to process what he's seeing. The noise of the train fades and static fills the inside of his head as he looks down at the sketches of the metal-armed guy without the mask. It's—that's him. It's Bucky's own goddamn face staring back at him from this stranger's sketchbook.

AidaRonan

Quench : Or the one where archeology intern Bucky Barnes meets actual archeologist Steve Rogers and reaches levels of thirst scientists once believed to be theoretically impossible.

Carnal Synchronicity : AKA A Tale of Two Stevies

Fraternizing With the Enemy : Steve and Bucky are both the presidents of their respective fraternities. Steve thinks Bucky's frat is filled with selfish party animals who care about little else. Bucky thinks Steve is a giant pretentious douchebag who owns too many Lacoste polos. They hate each other. Passionately.

lockedlocke

I just need you to show me : A quick google search tells him that the app he needs to get for something quick and easy, with no strings attached is Grindr. He downloads the app while he watches a bit of a Simpsons episode. It doesn’t take long, and when the app is downloaded, he looks at black icon with the yellow mask.

Pride : So here he was, at Pride despite the fact that he’d rather be at home. It’s hot, boiling and his feet hurt a bit from standing all day. Converse might be nice shoes, but Jesus they were terrible for his knees.

mcwho

it never hurt nobody : “I thought we agreed that that was creepy.” “No,” Bucky says slowly. “I asked you what you thought about people calling their boyfriends daddy, and you said you thought it was creepy, and then I asked you what the hell you’d done with my grey sweater after you did laundry, and we never talked about it again.”

(series) the serum amplifies : Little PWPs about Steve and Bucky’s sex life and the serums effect on it.

missandrogyny

don't know where i'm going (but i'll get back to you and me) : AU where Bucky is an assassin who just can’t seem to kill Steve

LeeHan

The Right Partner : Steve meets a beautiful man with a bright laugh on a sunny day in Italy. Captain America meets the elusive Winter Soldier moments later.

The Best Way to Wake : James Buchanan Barnes lay in a glass pod in the middle of the table, frozen since he fell. Steve’s hands were on the glass before he realized he’d moved. “Get him out,” Steve whispered, his hands searching for a clasp, a keypad, something.

amethystkrystal

Taking This One Step At A Time : In the weeks that follow, Bucky's omega urges start going haywire, and he realizes that night with Steve may have left him with more than just a fond memory.

Realignment : After assembling their own Infinity Gauntlet, the Avengers defeated Thanos and brought back everyone who disappeared. But their victory came at a great cost: in order to take the Soul Stone, Steve had to sacrifice the Captain America mantle and all the super-soldier strength that came with it.

cydonic

Home Is Wherever I'm With You : This is what happens when you buy a house to flip having only seen the online images: you get more than you bargained for. Bucky Barnes brings all the tools to handle a dilapidated home, but he's hardly prepared for a smart-mouthed child (with poor aim), a crying baby, and the hottest dad he's ever seen in his life living right next door.

deadto27

The Sweetest Spark : Steve Rogers runs a successful business. He has great friends and a great life. It seems like he has it all. So why is he sitting in a diner on a Friday night alone? Maybe he's just a little lonely. Maybe Bucky Barnes can help with that.

Maybe This Christmas : Bucky’s not going home for Christmas. But it’s fine. He’s spending Christmas alone in his apartment, but it’s cool. He’s not feeling up to seeing his family after his accident anyway, plus he has to work. He’s totally fine with it. But then he runs into Steve, literally, and suddenly his Christmas isn’t looking so empty after all.

NachoDiablo

Reconcilable Differences : AKA, "What To Do When Your Zany Fake-Relationship Scheme Actually Works."

odetteandodile

If Only In My Dreams : Bucky is a highly successful cooking and lifestyle blogger. He writes all about life in his Connecticut home with his D.H. (darling husband). Only problem? It’s all complete fiction.

So I Took a Faithful Leap : Bucky doesn’t fall and Steve doesn’t crash. The Howling Commados take out the remaining Hydra bases…and then they go home, just like all the other allied soldiers. Steve buys a farm in Washington state, and tries to relearn how to be at peace.

Art Thief, Heart Thief : Agent Steve Rogers is facing a series of art thefts that has him stumped, and looking for a break in the case. Convicted art thief and general high end criminal Bucky Barnes wants to make parole and happens to know all of the right people who could make Steve's job easier.

Under the Hawthorn Tree : A young man wanders into the woods one night, and wanders until he isn't a young man anymore—but something else. Seventy years later, another man follows him. Inside of a magic ring, they meet.

canistakahari

don't threaten me with a good time : Steve's taken him on vacation to a cabin in Canada in the middle of winter, so it's obviously the perfect time for his body to go haywire. Bucky is determined to stick it out, though, partly because he's a stubborn bastard, but mostly because he feels some kinda way about Steve.

Heckin' Chunker for Love : On the inside of the big floor to ceiling window of the office across the street, someone has used Post-it Notes to spell out a message: W H A T I S Y O U R C A T ’ S N A M E ?

(TBR) All of Your Love is Sunlight : Sometimes the path to happiness involves bad timing turned good, a butt plant, and a little everyday magic. For Steve and Bucky, it's all that and more.

birdjay

(TBR) STAR PLAN : He’s the most gorgeous thing Bucky’s ever laid eyes on.He’s his new tentative boss. Maybe. If this interview goes well enough, anyway. “So, Mr. Barnes?” Steve asks, blinking at him from across a particle board table. “You ever work security before?”

stay : The platform buzzes, and suddenly goes quiet. The cycle has finished. Bucky doesn’t bother to look. There’s no way Steve’s coming back when he has the chance to stay. He moves to walk away, to move on with his life, somehow. “Buck -- ?”

(TBR) The Conservation of a 17th Century Painting : Steve can’t even remember the last time he’s spoken to someone actually interested in art, who coincidentally is also someone he’d like to bang. Actually, no. He’s never had that happen.

dragongirlG

Searching Every Lonely Place : After the Battle of New York in 2012, Steve searches for Bucky with the help of the Avengers as he bumbles through a series of comedic misunderstandings with undercover HYDRA agents.

Reclamation : The Winter Soldier’s mask never falls off when he fights Captain America on the overpass and the helicarrier. That doesn’t stop the Soldier from recognizing Captain America and wondering why the man’s face is haunting his scattered memories.

megs_bee

Nothing Good Ever Happens On A Tuesday : Recently discharged soldier James Barnes is back in Brooklyn, down an arm and missing five years of memories, but he’s got his PTSD mostly under control, a fancy metal prosthetic, and what’s starting to feel like it could be a half-decent life. What he doesn’t have is any memory of the kid looking at James and asking him, “Are you my daddy?” -- or the gorgeous blond guy standing next to her.

A Ghost Before You Were a Ghost Story : “I’m sorry to wake you, Sir, but there appears to be an intruder on the roof. ”Tony finds the camera showing a figure standing alone on the roof, black tactical gear blending into the black night sky. Barely a shadow among shadows, save for the glint of silver along the figure’s left side. The Winter Soldier.

VenusMonstrosa

Extant : After a sudden and violent storm forces the crew of Insight III to perform an emergency evacuation, astronaut James Barnes was believed to have died and was left behind on Mars. Two years later, Commander Steve Rogers still refuses to let go. Fortunately, so does Bucky.

Through The Woods : There’s a legend in Mansewood, nearly as old as the town itself, about a pack of werewolves that once lived in the forest. They say only one survives; a monstrous and snarling beast with fur like a blizzard and fangs the size of daggers. Steve doesn’t care about any of that. He only wants to know if it prefers T-Bone or ribeye, and would it please stop tracking dirt through his house? He just mopped the floor.

BlueSimplicity

(series) You Are Responsible For What You Tame : After the events in DC and on the helicarriers, and the realization that his friend Bucky Barnes is still alive, Captain Steve Rogers swears that he will do anything he can to find him. It is easier said than done, as Steve searches desperately for any hint or clue that will lead him to his friend. Steve searches, but Bucky does not want to be found. And so begins their game of cat and mouse, as Steve does everything in his power to convince Bucky to come home.

GoldBlooded

A Midsummer Knight's Dream : Sir Steven, knight, alpha, and baron of a small countryside estate, receives an invitation to a Royal Tournament: It’s a winner-take-all competition, and the prize? The hand of Prince James, the kingdom’s most eligible omega, in marriage.

Feast On This : Steve, Sarah, and Bucky are headed down to Florida to visit the Barnes family for Thanksgiving. Bucky's tired of the interrogation about his love life from his Ma, and Sarah suggests the simplest solution would be for he and Steve to fake it for a few days. How hard can it be, right? After all, they've shared a bed before. After all, it's only pretend... Right?

Luck of the Irish Stroll : Every year Steve and Sam go on the Irish Stroll Bar Crawl, and ever since their first time on the Stroll four years ago, Steve and Sam cross paths with Bucky and Natasha. Every year Steve’s world is rocked by the gorgeous, blue-eyed man that has captivated him since they first locked eyes fighting over a couple of pints of Guinness from the bartender. But Steve's starting to want and need more of Bucky... will this be the year he can make it last for more than one night?

girlbookwrm

(TBR) (series) The Hundred Year Playlist : Steve and Bucky, start to finish. "Come on, pal, it's me. Take another hundred years if you want, I'll still be here."

sidereal : Captain Rogers never did a self-portrait; we can only speculate who his soulmate — or soulmates — might have been.

ClaraxBarton

Holding On : “Your poll numbers are way down, and we need to get them back up.”

stfustucky

Salt & Sugar (collab with GoldBlooded) : Steve Rogers is a bigshot celebrity chef in New York City, and Bucky Barnes is a classically trained pastry chef in Moscow. When billionaire and mutual friend Natasha Romanoff calls on them to collaborate for her Memorial Day Benefit Gala, they both brace themselves to spend the week working with some jerk they're bound to hate.

Honestly, Fuck Brooklyn : Or, the one where it takes yet another apocalypse for the somewhat oblivious Bucky Barnes to figure out that his dorky artist boyfriend Steve is actually Captain Goddamned America.

writeonclara

How to Woo the Winter Soldier : Or: Steve courts the Winter Soldier.

#stucky #stucky fic #stucky fanfic #stucky fanfiction #stucky fic rec #best new stucky writers

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dontatmethanks · 4 years

Note

You have no idea what you've triggered: -astronauts AU -zombie apocalypse AU -00 agents M.I.6 -Conflict with Marley resolved -dying together -Hogwarts Houses AU -becoming handicapped -fatal illness -quarantined together -Modern Military AU -Dragon riders/ being dragons themselves -Batman AU/ Marvel

Staying Alive- (zombie apocalypse AU/ becoming handicapped)

— (also posted on AO3)-

•

She was in idiot.

An absolute fucking moron- and if anyone were to say it to her face at this very moment she would wholeheartedly agree.

Hange cursed lowly under her breath as she clutched her battered wooden baseball bat to her chest tightly. Her chest was heaving, partly from exhaustion, adrenaline and fear. You see the twenty-four year old brunette was in a predicament that will determine wether or not she would live. Her and her group of survivors were on a supply run, the plan was to infiltrate a superstore that was near their base and collect whatever they could carry without weighing themselves down if they needed to flee quickly.

It was simple enough right?- A quick get in and get out?...Oh how they were very wrong.

Everything was going well at first for the five of them, Hange, Levi, Mike, Nanaba and Erwin. They took the van that they managed to start a week ago to the superstore, strapped with their weapons and bags they managed to pick off the few walkers that were ambling around outside before quickly slipping inside.

They decided to split up since the superstore was two floors- which was probably their first mistake, but at the moment it seemed like a good idea to cover more ground. Mike and Nanaba took the second floor and Levi, Hange and Erwin took the first floor. Hange immediately made a beeline for the pharmacy which happened to be near a food court area, while Erwin and Levi took to looking for any sort of tactical gear or weapons, Mike and Nanaba went for toiletries and food.

Hange quickly made her way over to the pharmacy with a bit of a pep in her step, swinging her wooden bat in her hand as she walked. The bespeckled brunette had to hop over the counter since the gate to get behind it was locked.

She slung her backpack off and started to sort through the medication that was left, mainly dumping antibiotics, painkillers and sleeping pills into her bag; all the while she was humming lowly to herself in deep concentration.

Everything seemed to be going fine…until she was pulled from her thoughts by the sudden sound of growls. Hange froze and made her way towards the counter to check her surroundings and immediately ducked behind it once she saw a horde of walkers coming from the food court area and shuffling their way over. The brunette pressed her back against the counter with widened eyes and tried to make as little noise as possible. Big brown eyes scanned the back area of the pharmacy to see that there was no exit and mentally cursed before peeking over the counter to see that it was now completely surrounded by walkers who groaned and growled while snapping their rotting teeth at the air. She ducked back down and clutched her bat tightly to her chest as she cursed herself once more.

Fucking idiot- there was no way she could signal the others with bringing any attention to herself, she had no idea where they were at this point.

With a shuddering breath, Hange willed herself to calm down so she could think of a way to get herself out of this predicament. Glancing around she weighed out all the variables; a hoard of walkers were blocking her only exit, she only had a bat to defend herself, and the others presumably didn’t know what was happening. She nodded to herself and glanced over at the metal racks that held the various bottles and boxes of medication, letting her eyes trail down, she noticed that they were not bolted to the floor and suddenly it was like a light bulb went off in her head.

The woman took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before grabbing her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder, and quickly crawled over to the racks. Looking over at the horde, she mentally crossed her fingers that her plan would work before grabbing onto one of the racks and pulling it towards her and effectively causing it to tip over. Hange quickly rolled away so it wouldn’t crush her, and watched as it made a loud crash against another rack which teetered and slammed against the wall it was facing. The mess she made attracted the walkers but also created a blockade between her and them, she also hoped and prayed that the noise would at least notify Levi and Erwin.

—

Levi was at the camping section of the store, which was not too far from the pharmacy. He had managed to find a few cheap flashlights and first aid kits, as well as a pack of hunting knives. After stuffing all his finds into his backpack he ran into Erwin as he exited the camping area.

“Find anything good?” The blonde asked and he nodded.

“You?” Erwin nodded as well.

“Was able to find some walkies, maybe we can find some radio channels to see if there’s any updates.”

Levi hummed in agreement as he looked around. “Where the fuck is four-eyes?”

Erwin blinked and glanced around before opening his mouth, when suddenly there was a loud deafening crash that caused both men to stiffen in their spots.

“What-“

“That was was coming from the direction of the pharmacy..” Erwin mumbled, and Levi didn’t need to be told any more for him to bolt towards the pharmacy with the blonde hot on his heels.

“Levi, hold on-“ Erwin called out to the shorter man as he rounded a corner and was met with the sight of a sizable horde of walkers that surrounded the pharmacy, some even managed to climb over the counter. Levi’s heart froze at the sight and Erwin had to drag him back behind the corner himself. The raven struggled and pushed at him in an attempt to go look for Hange.

“Let go of me you fucking ape- Hange said she’d be over here!” His face was flushed in anger, his steel colored eyes were wild and frantic and his nostrils flared. But Erwin wasn’t phased by this, he knew Levi long enough to know how to calm him down.

“Levi- Alright, Levi, calm down. I know she said she’d be here but Hange is smarter than a bunch of mindless undead bodies, give her the credit. For know we have to avert their attention from the pharmacy in case she’s in there.”

Levi blinked and let himself calm down before nodding. “…Okay, alright. Let’s do that.”

Erwin gave him a reassuring grin and clasped his shoulder firmly. “After you.”

The raven’s thin dark brows furrowed as he squared his shoulders and whipped out his combat knife before rounding the corner and yelling out to the horde and banging on the nearest wall.

“Oi! Over here you ugly fucks!”

Erwin joined him, pounded on the wall and yelled out at the top of his lungs, his big booming baritone voice bouncing off of Levi’s. The two of them easily gathered the attention of the horde, they turned and started shuffling towards the them, some limping, crawling and dragging their feet as they snapped their teeth at them. Levi immediately went to town on them, slashing stabbing and bashing their skulls in with the speed of a cheetah, while being as lethal as striking cobra. Erwin followed suit, being a powerhouse himself, he used an axe to split open their skulls as if they were just a bunch of coconuts.

—

Hange remained in a sitting position on the floor as she waited, keeping her body tightly curled up into a ball and pressed against the furthest wall so none of the walkers who poked their arms and heads through the small gaps of the barricade could grab a part of her. The brunette kept herself calm by reciting different formulas in her head that she’d remembered from her days in her college laboratory before the world went to shit.

“Formic acid…methanol…Ben-“ she froze when she suddenly heard yelling and banging.

Straining her ears she perked up and sat up on her knees to peer through the rails of the barricade. The banging and yelling became louder when another booming voice joined in and she immediately knew who the belonged to. She let out a relived laugh and a beaming smile when she saw that the horde was dispersing away from the pharmacy.

“Knew it..” Hange muttered and gripped her bat in determination, swinging at the heads of the few walkers that were left before climbing over the barricade and hopping over the counter. She continued to swing and batter more walkers, not minding the back splatter of blood that rained onto her face and clothes, Levi would bitch about it later but she’d happily listen to it rather than being eaten alive by any of these fuckers.

“Hey shorty! Eyebrows! It’s about time you guys showed up!” The woman called out as she swung once more and let her bat connect with a walker’s skull with a wet crack.

As soon as Levi heard Hange’s voice, he almost melted with relief, but he didn’t stop picking off the walkers that came at them. He spotted the bespeckled brunette a few feet away, bashing away at the undead with a maniacal grin spread onto her bloodied face. Without thinking twice he pushed his way to her, beating and slicing away. He didn’t even flinch when a few spurts of blood splattered onto his cheek when he pulled his blade free from a skull

“Hange!” He called out and she met his gaze, waving at him happily.

“Levi!-“ Her doe eyes widened when Erwin yelled his name and Levi was suddenly jumped by a walker who grabbed him by his hair and shoulder and yanked him back to try to bite at his neck. The raven grunted and flipped his blade around in his hand, plunging it backwards into the eye-socket of the walker. He pulled it out and let the body hit the floor and stumbled back before being attacked again, this time by two of them. Hange called out to him and fought her way over. She managed to yank one of them off of him and ram her bat through its skull. The brunette whirled around to see Levi wrestling against two more, one of them managed to get a strong grip onto his arm, the one that was holding his blade, and imbedded its rotting chiseled teeth into the skin of his forearm.

“No!” Hange screamed in horror and smashed her bat against the skull of the walker who bit Levi, she didn’t stop there, once it fell she straddled its body and beat at its head in fury, getting bits of brain matter and shards of skull onto her clothes and hair.

Erwin emerged from that last of the walkers, followed by Mike and Nanaba who were also covered in walker bits and blood, he ran over to Levi who was kneeling next the floor in shock as he stared as the bite mark on his arm.

The blonde didn’t think twice with his decision. “Hange, hold him down!.”

Hange blinked and scrambled to her feet, glancing at Levi’s arm and then tearfully glancing at Erwin.

“I-..” Her voice failed her and her legs trembled beneath her, she couldn’t believe this was actually happening.

Mike suddenly pushed past them and slammed Levi into a laying position on the floor, effectively holding him down.

“What the fuck-“ Levi’s usually emotionless eyes widened in shock as he tried to break free. “The hell are you doing?!”

“Wait Mike, Erwin! What are you doing?!” Hange shrieked and moved for help Levi but was held back by Nanaba who whispered comfortingly to her as she cried.

“It’s okay, it’s alright- Hange.”

Erwin kneeled down beside Levi who glared up at him, the blonde could tell he was afraid , he usually lashed out violently when he was scared.

“Erwin you fucker-“ The taller man didn’t even give him a chance to finish, he kept his face hard as he cleaned off his axe and held Levi’s bitten arm out, raising the axe into the air and striking it down hard into the juncture of his elbow. Once, twice was enough to separate the infected part of his arm clean off. The scream the was ripped out of Levi made everyone wince, Hange clamped her hand over her mouth as she collapsed onto her knees.

“Hange, we need you!” Erwin called out to her as he pulled out a bottle of alcohol from his backpack and unscrewed it before pouring a generous amount over Levi’s gaping wound. He muttered numerous apologies as the raven growled and groaned in pain, eyelids fluttering as his eyes rolled back.

“No- Levi, stay with us!!” The blonde shouted and slapped at Levi’s face. It was enough to get the shorter man to grunt and refocus his eyes towards the ceiling.

“I-I’m fine..ngh.” He muttered weakly, pale face contorting under all the pain.

Hange dropped at his side and unzipped her back pack. “I need a-a medkit or- or-“ Erwin thrust Levi’s backpack at her and continued to assist Mike with keeping him still. The brunette practically ripped into the bag to pull out the kit and started to work quickly to wrap what was left of Levi’s arm up so he wouldn’t bleed all over the place.

“I-I’ll- “ She paused to swallow thickly and let out a shuddering exhale. “I’ll have to cauterize the wound properly back at our base, but for know this will do.”

Erwin nodded and got up to his feet. “Aright everyone to the van, let’s get him home, we got what we needed.” He then proceeded to lift Levi onto his feet with Mike’s help, and guided him towards the exit. Hange and Nanaba followed after them with the bags.

Once everyone was piled into the van, Erwin peeled out of the driveway and headed back to their base. Mike sat in the front with him and Hange, Levi and Nanaba were in the back. The injured ravenette was being supported by Hange with his head resting on her shoulder, groaning in pain every time he was jostled. The brunette ran her hand through his sweat dampened hair in an attempt to soothe him.

“You’re going to be okay Levi, I promise…” she whispered into his ear as she reached into her backpack and pulled out a water bottle and a searched for a bottle of painkillers and antibiotics. After reading the labels she poured out a couple of the tablets into her hand while trying not to jostle Levi too much.

“Here, come on, you need to take these.” Hange urged him and pressed the medication into his hand. He obeyed and dropped them all into his mouth without complaint before taking the water bottle she offered him and chugging them down.

“Good job, you’re doing good.” She praised him as she took the now half empty bottle back and put it away.

“Don’t..fucking baby me shitty glasses..” Levi grumbled weakly as he rested his head once more on her shoulder.

“I know, I know- I’m sorry..” she whispered and glanced out the window as they drove back home. —

Hange sighed as she cleaned up her utensils and wiped up the blood that was left on the table that they used for the cauterizing session that they did on Levi. She managed to do the procedure quickly and without any hiccups, and now Levi was wrapped up in bed asleep with the help of a few sleeping pills.

Once she finished cleaning up the mess, she let herself collapse onto a chair and stared up at the ceiling.

“You did good.”

Hange rolled her head forward to glance up at Erwin who leaned against the doorway , she hummed in response. He turned to leave but she stopped him with her next words.

“I thought you were going to kill him back there…for a quick fleeting second I thought you were going to kill him.”

The blonde stood there quietly with his back facing her for a minute before taking a deep breath and turning to face her.

“I did what I thought was best, he might hate me for it later but I’ll live with it. I’d never be able to forgive myself if I let him become like those things.”

She nodded slowly and sighed. “Neither could I..”

Erwin walked over to Hange and gave her shoulder a gentle squeeze and a pat. “Go to him, get some rest, he’s gonna need to see your face when he wakes up.”

When the brunette nodded and got up he said a goodnight before walking of rocks his own room. Hange made her way over to the room her and Levi both shared and slipped in quietly. He was deeply asleep on the bed where she left him, the covers were tucked in comfortably around him and his bandaged hand rested above them. Slowly, the bespeckled woman removed her soiled clothes and changed into just an old baggy t-shirt, before letting her hair down and removing her glasses. After changing she made sure to wash her face one more time for good measure before carefully slipping into bed next to Levi.

Hange let herself watch him sleep for a moment, he would almost look dead if it wasn’t for the telltale sign of his chest slowly rising and falling as he breathed softly. Blinking away the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes, she gently stoked his pale cheek. This caused the raven to stiffen ever so slightly, before relaxing and nuzzling his face into her hand. She chuckled softly pressed her lips to his forehead, holding him close while being wary of his injury.

“..you won’t be alone okay? I’ll help you through this, I promise.” Hange whispered mostly to herself as she raked her lithe fingers through his inky locks, soothing him with her touch as he slept.

“You’ll be okay, we’ll be okay..”

-END-

#i hope you like it!#i combined two since i couldnt pick just one #thanks for the request!#ask prompt #prompt fic #levihan fic #levihan #aot #levi ackerman #snk #attack on titan #hange zoe #shingeki no kyojin #hanji zoe #levi x hanji #levi x hange

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viaossis · 4 years

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“Do you think they’ll make it all the way up here?”

“What are you talking about?”

“I mean, we’re in orbit, and there can only be so many of them, right? Could they stack themselves up and reach us?”

“Start talking sense or I swear to Frank…”

“Have you looked out the window lately?”

“No, I try not to. Safer for my sanity that way.”

“Doubly so today, I think. I’m pretty sure I can see the zombies down below.”

“You have lost your marble. You can’t see an individual skyscraper from up here, let alone zombies.”

“So I guess Houston has decided to build a giant dark cone over itself.”

“What are you-- Huh.”

“Yeah. Huh. Think they’ll make it up here?”

“We’re in orbit 500 kilometers up. Are you seriously asking if they’ll stack up enough bodies to reach 500 kilometers into space?”

“Well there’s a lot of them down there, right?”

“Not that many. I mean, yeah there’s a lot, couple billion, but not enough to build a cone to reach us.”

“Looks weird though.”

“Besides, that’s not even Houston. Too far south. Probably Corpus Christi. Speaking of corpus, I wouldn’t worry about ‘em no matter how high they stack. They’ll probably self-combust long before they reach any real height. Decomposition creates heat, remember?”

“And the pressure. And no real air circulation for cooling. Yeah. Makes sense. Imagine the smell, though.”

“We’re in a vacuum 500 kilometers up.”

“Would still smell terrible.”

“Not up here. Seriously, who did you pay off to let you come on this joy ride?”

“How are we doing on food?”

“Dunno for sure. Four weeks left? Maybe six or seven if we don’t wanna eat too well.”

“Think they’ll be ready to come get us by then?

“Hope so. We don’t have a way down, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. Hey, where did my marble go? You haven’t seen it, have you?”

“…”

“My marble. You mentioned it earlier. You seen it?”

“Is this like a real marble, or have you finally cracked?”

“It’s real, I showed you that one time. On the call to Karim.”

“I wasn’t on the call with Karim.”

“Well then who did I show the marble to?”

“Probably Sarah.”

“Oh, yeah. Why do I always forget about her?”

“It’s the sound dampening. Can’t hear the moaning.”

“Yeah, but you’d think I’d remember we used to be three people up here.”

“Two Astronauts and a Zombie. Sounds like a bad movie plot.”

“Hey, when the Corpus Cone starts burning, you think the Z virus will go airborne?”

“It’s not a virus.”

“How do you know?”

“There were lots of reports of people who died in isolation who still got up and went walkabout. Can’t be a virus if there’s no contact.”

“So what do you think it is?”

“I dunno. Maybe… I don’t know. Doesn’t much matter now, does it?”

“Maybe this is a bad movie, and when we figure out the trick to getting back down, we’ll have to come up with the cure and save everyone. Big damn heroes, right?”

“Okay, you need to stay away from that website.”

“And then we’ll travel the country, bringing the cure to the huddled hillbillies who will reward us with truly heroic volumes of moonshine.”

“You’re an idiot.”

“The only problem I see is what happens when we get to Cornsville, Nebraska, and it’s surrounded like Corpus Cone. You know, big ol’ swarm of zombies crushed up against the walls so we can’t get in and the people inside can’t get out.”

“What.”

“And the gate starts to get broken in from the weight of the zombies, and the music starts to get all tense.”

“Okay, slow your roll, cowboy. It’s not like a buncha survivalists throwing up a few bits of sheet metal are even going to last that long. The “town” you’re thinking of is a whole lotta really prepared nerds who’ve spent months fortifying the walls, who keep the farms going to keep everyone fed and strong, and who post that chronically-ill kid who survives on spite alone with a rifle to snipe anything that moves. Even if the shambling horde is still moving when it gets to the town, they’re only human bodies – they can’t really break down a brick wall just by feebly pawing at it while moaning real loud.”

“Look- okay? Just go with it?”

“No. I refuse to play your stupid game.”

“Alright, so how are we getting down?”

“Can’t.”

“Well, that’s depressing.”

“All we can do is hope they send up a ship in the next couple weeks. If Control is still around and capable of launching.”

“How long has it been since they last answered a report?”

“Ten days.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, when was the last time you talked to Charlotte?”

“S’been… three months, I think?”

“She still with whatshisname?”

“Nah, probably ate him by now.”

“Um…”

“She wasn’t looking too healthy last I saw her.”

“Jesus.”

“Well, it was pronounced ‘Hay-soos’, but yeah, no, pretty sure he’s dead by now.”

“And you say there’s something wrong with me. How can you be all calm about your ex being a zombie?”

“She was a bitch. What can I say?”

“Really?”

“No, not really. She was amazing. I just… it’s so weird. I mean, we’re stuck up here, so nothing I could have done anyway.

“Yeah, I get it.”

“I want to be sad or angry or something. Anything. And it’s not like I’m numb or repressing anything. I just… can’t seem to care.”

“Whose turn is it to feed Sarah?”

“What. The. Fuck.”

“Well, don’t they need feeding? I know they’re dead and all, but they still eat people, right? So that means they need to eat. So we should feed Sarah, as long as she’s still here.”

“Are you volunteering?”

“What? No, not like that! I mean, I know we only have a little food left, but I figure we can share out a ration every now and then, just to keep her going.”

“Hell no.”

“Come on. She’s your friend, too. And if they find a cure, wouldn’t you feel better if she were still around to get it?”

“I am not giving my food to a dead woman. Besides, she’d probably try to eat us as soon as we tried to feed her.”

“I still say we should think of something. I don’t want to be the asshole who let our zombie friend die… again… when a little bit of food might have kept her around long enough to be cured.”

“This is going to be a long few weeks, isn’t it?”

“Another beautiful sunset, though. Doesn’t get any better than this.”

“I don’t think they can die. Again. You know what I mean.”

“What, so like we don’t feed her and she just sits there hungry and not dying?”

“She’s dead? So can’t die twice? Pretty sure that’s a thing.”

“Hrm. Hm.”

“Maybe just go count the food again. Not saying we’re sharing with her, just… See how much we have left.”

“Right. Just in case.”

#flash fiction #zombies #midwatch

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jadenjace · 4 years

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𝑏𝑢𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝘩𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑎 𝘩𝑜𝑚𝑒 .

⤿ ⋆ JADEN JACE LAPOINTE | TWENTY-EIGHT | MAINE ➜ ATLANTA | UNEMPLOYED

okay so a little rework / role-change . i should’ve done this a long time ago , but jaden is probably one of my most developed muses and he is so loved by me that it makes my heart hurt a little bit . he’s twenty-eight ( his birthday is soon so .. presents please ) , born and raised in alabama and freshly moved in from maine to settle into a new life with his lovely girlfriend @saintezrajean . jaden has recently been in hospital after losing part of his leg and is still healing enough to be fitted with a prosthetic so don’t be alarmed if he’s hobbling about on crutches for a while .

also , if you’ve been around for a while he’s kind of a gender-bent version of BJ ( who i’m considering re-writing and bringing back too perhaps ... ) i seriously want connections with everybody and will be reaching out to bother anyone who even sniffs around this intro post .

TW : car accident , mental illness , amputation , injury .. all that good stuff .

@atlanta-rpgstarters

character info –

Name: Jaden Lapointe Age: Twenty-Eight Pronouns: He/Him Hometown: La Fayette, Alabama Time lived in Atlanta: One month Occupation: Unemployed Character Quote: i've begun to heal in all the places your hands have been / there's a battle i must fight alone but it’s you I'm fighting for

biography –

1991 brought the birth of the greatest lapointe child , at least according to jaden himself. he was always a little rocket running excitedly from place to place , high-energy , much to the despair of his parents who were left with the task of keeping up . their lifestyle in the early years suited the little powerhouse – his mother and father loved the travelling life and before he was even old enough to speak they’d state-hopped and explored every hidden nook and crevice that the world had to offer . being that young he didn’t realise that it was due to his father’s native american roots – alabama wasn’t known for their open minds , especially twenty odd years ago , and the idea of his mother marrying a man anything other than white seemed unheard of . circumstances relaxed with the realisation that hilary was pregnant again and they settled in maine now things had calmed , the small closed off town that didn’t seem to have enough space for a boy desperate to see it all . thankfully , unlike his rather conservative and old-fashioned grandmother she heard so much about , hilary let jaden do pretty much whatever he wanted ( within reason , of course ) . it started off with semi-permanent hair chalks , washable markers on pale skin , an ear piercing when he was old enough to sign the forms , then another , an impulsive nature taking root and leaving him with some questionable scars and stick ‘n’ poked imagery .

during high school he never fit in , but unlike some of the ‘ loser ‘ kids he didn’t fit the mould for the simple reason that he didn’t fucking want to . he didn’t care if teachers told him to dye his hair a normal color , to take those ‘ foul pieces of metal ‘ out of his face , he was there to have fun and maybe learn along the way .. even if not much of it got through . one passion though was science class . it was the only textbook that wasn’t filled with doodles of galaxies and moons , of little aliens and crazy spaceships , simply because outer space didn’t seem so far away when he was learning the facts . if he had been more dedicated maybe he would’ve become an astrologer , an astronaut maybe ; the dream is still there somewhere at the back of that spacey mind of his , and one day he hopes she might actually touch the stars instead of just gaze up at them . alongside the nerdy part of his mind was his sporty nature , gravitating toward the basketball team ( which was the only crumb of street credibility he could get his hands on ) and frequenting the skateboard to try , and fail , complicated tricks until they were finally perfected .

meeting ezra was a turning point in the boy’s life . their relationship began with a fateful meeting , a few awkward encounters across the basketball court and in her previous job at the movie theatre . asking her on a date was something that would impact his future in more ways than one , both positively and detrimentally .. on the drive to the arcade for their first real moment as a couple their car flipped and , in a final moment of sacrifice , tipped over on the driver’s side and in turn crushed the lower half of his right leg . beyond repair , the male was forced to have it amputated merely a month ago . with his existence put into perspective the couple decided to uproot and move somewhere with more options , more opportunities to heal , grow and recover from a moment so traumatic it was difficult for the both of them to cope , using money gifted from the lapointe parents ( who had practically adopted ezra at this point ) and some stashed away from savings they managed to find a little apartment to rent between them . it’s now their sanctuary , and jaden spends most of his days cooped up playing video games or watching cult movies to distract himself from the ever present demons inside of his head .

personality –

if there was one word to describe him in the dictionary it would be a GOOFBALL – nothing is taken seriously , which is maybe a downfall when he comes anywhere close to a halfway serious conversation or figuring ‘adult’ things out for himself . everything is a joke , followed by a witty comment or obscure reference , a type of humour that would’ve been suited to a late-night television host if he had half the confidence to execute such a thing . jaden never takes anything seriously , before his accident and after it . jokes have been his coping mechanism and they’d continue to be for the near future at least , the only way he is able to forget about what happened to him and figure out a way to cope is through puns , quips and jokes at his own expense . unfortunately for the boy that attempts to be a ball of sunshine 99% percent of the time he is haunted in flashbacks by his accident , old film reels that play back in his mind at the most inconvenient of times . jaden doesn’t admit to many people that late nights are spent fighting tears or crying so hard his head pounds , hiding from the outside world beneath countless of sheets just for a hint of solace , a sanctuary among the fear .

#atgaintro #car accident tw #injury tw #amputation tw #mental illness tw

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theomnilegent · 5 years

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2019 Upcoming LGBTQA Fiction I’m Excited For!

A new year, a new top nine for women-lead LGBT fiction I’m looking forward to reading! There are, of course, a great many more books than the nine I’ve chosen this time ‘round - I think I will eventually make a part two to this post. I am so, so happy to see that this year we have even more diversity, even more stories about characters from all walks of life, from different parts of the LGBTQA umbrella, and even more LGBT novels. I remember a time where it’d be hard to find more than two YA novels with LGBT themes published in a single year - and now we have so many amazing works coming out!

The themes for 2019 seem to be gay witches, space gays, and explorations of mental illness in the LGBT community. I am so excited to read stories about girls and magic! I am more excited to read stories about girls and love! And I am definitely excited to see multiple books seriously addressing the issues of mental illness in young lesbian and bisexual women - it is a serious topic that has often been glossed over in the past, and to see multiple works that want to tackle these issues, and the issues of toxic relationships, in a healthy way is refreshing.

Below you’ll find titles, summaries, and goodreads links.

Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me by Mariko Tamaki Laura Dean, the most popular girl in high school, was Frederica Riley's dream girl: charming, confident, and SO cute. There's just one problem: Laura Dean is maybe not the greatest girlfriend. Reeling from her latest break up, Freddy's best friend, Doodle, introduces her to the Seek-Her, a mysterious medium, who leaves Freddy some cryptic parting words: break up with her. But Laura Dean keeps coming back, and as their relationship spirals further out of her control, Freddy has to wonder if it's really Laura Dean that's the problem. Maybe it's Freddy, who is rapidly losing her friends, including Doodle, who needs her now more than ever. Fortunately for Freddy, there are new friends, and the insight of advice columnists like Anna Vice to help her through being a teenager in love.

Starworld by Audrey Coulthurst & Paula Garner Sam Jones and Zoe Miller have one thing in common: they both want an escape from reality. Loner Sam flies under the radar at school and walks on eggshells at home to manage her mom’s obsessive-compulsive disorder, wondering how she can ever leave to pursue her dream of studying aerospace engineering. Popular, people-pleasing Zoe puts up walls so no one can see her true self: the girl who was abandoned as an infant, whose adoptive mother has cancer, and whose disabled brother is being sent away to live in a facility. When an unexpected encounter results in the girls’ exchanging phone numbers, they forge a connection through text messages that expands into a private universe they call Starworld. In Starworld, they find hilarious adventures, kindness and understanding, and the magic of being seen for who they really are. But when Sam’s feelings for Zoe turn into something more, will the universe they’ve built survive the inevitable explosion?

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta Danny didn't know what she was looking for when she and her mother spread out a map of the United States and Danny put her finger down on Tempest, California. What she finds are the Grays: a group of friends who throw around terms like queer and witch like they're ordinary and everyday, though they feel like an earthquake to Danny. But Danny didn't just find the Grays. They cast a spell that calls her halfway across the country, because she has something they need: she can bring back Imogen, the most powerful of the Grays, missing since the summer night she wandered into the woods alone. But before Danny can find Imogen, she finds a dead boy with a redwood branch through his heart. Something is very wrong amid the trees and fog of the Lost Coast, and whatever it is, it can kill. Lush, eerie, and imaginative, Amy Rose Capetta's tale overflows with the perils and power of discovery — and what it means to find your home, yourself, and your way forward.

Tell Me How You Really Feel by Aminah Mae Safi Sana Khan is a cheerleader and a straight A student. She's the classic (somewhat obnoxious) overachiever determined to win. Rachel Recht is a wannabe director who's obsesssed with movies and ready to make her own masterpiece. As she's casting her senior film project, she knows she's found the perfect lead - Sana. There's only one problem. Rachel hates Sana. Rachel was the first girl Sana ever asked out, but Rachel thought it was a cruel prank and has detested Sana ever since. Told in alternative viewpoints and inspired by classic romantic comedies, this engaging and edgy YA novel follows two strongwilled young women falling for each other despite themselves.

The Meaning of Birds by Jaye Robin Brown Before, Jessica has always struggled with anger issues, but come sophomore year that all changes when Vivi crashes into her life. As their relationship blossoms, Vivi not only helps Jess deal with her pain, she also encourages her to embrace her talent as an artist. And for the first time, it feels like the future is filled with possibilities. After In the midst of senior year, Jess’s perfect world is erased when Vivi suddenly passes away. Reeling from the devastating loss, Jess pushes everyone away, and throws out her plans to go to art school. Because art is Vivi and Vivi is gone forever. Desperate for an escape, Jess gets consumed in her work-study program, letting all of her dreams die. Until she makes an unexpected new friend who shows her a new way to channel her anger, passion, and creativity. Although Jess may never draw again, if she can find a way to heal and room in her heart, she just might be able to forge a new path for herself without Vivi.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends. One day she meets Alexandria: a furious loner who spurns Ryann’s offer of friendship. After a horrific accident leaves Alexandria with a broken arm, the two misfits are brought together despite themselves—and Ryann learns her secret: Alexandria’s mother is an astronaut who volunteered for a one-way trip to the edge of the solar system. Every night without fail, Alexandria waits to catch radio signals from her mother. And its up to Ryann to lift her onto the roof day after day until the silence between them grows into friendship, and eventually something more...

How It Feels To Float by Helena Fox Biz knows how to float. She has her people, her posse, her mom and the twins. She has Grace. And she has her dad, who tells her about the little kid she was, who loves her so hard, and who shouldn't be here but is. So Biz doesn't tell anyone anything. Not about her dark, runaway thoughts, not about kissing Grace or noticing Jasper, the new boy. And she doesn't tell anyone about her dad. Because her dad died when she was six. And Biz knows how to float, right there on the surface--normal okay regular fine. But after what happens on the beach--first in the ocean, and then in the sand--the tethers that hold Biz steady come undone. Dad disappears, and with him, all comfort. It might be easier, better, sweeter to float all the way away? Or maybe stay a little longer, find her father, bring him back to her. Or maybe--maybe maybe maybe--there's a third way Biz just can't see yet.

Going Off Script by Jen Wilde Seventeen-year-old Bex is thrilled when she gets an internship on her favorite tv show, Silver Falls. Unfortunately, the internship isn't quite what she expected... instead of sitting in a crowded writer's room volleying ideas back and forth, Production Interns are stuck picking up the coffee. Determined to prove her worth as a writer, Bex drafts her own script and shares it with the head writer―who promptly reworks it and passes it off as his own! Bex is understandably furious, yet...maybe this is just how the industry works? But when they rewrite her proudly lesbian character as straight, that's the last straw! It's time for Bex and her crush to fight back.

These Witches Don’t Burn by Isabel Sterling Hannah's a witch, but not the kind you're thinking of. She's the real deal, an Elemental with the power to control fire, earth, water, and air. But even though she lives in Salem, Massachusetts, her magic is a secret she has to keep to herself. If she's ever caught using it in front of a Reg (read: non-witch), she could lose it. For good. So, Hannah spends most of her time avoiding her ex-girlfriend (and fellow Elemental Witch) Veronica, hanging out with her best friend, and working at the Fly by Night Cauldron selling candles and crystals to tourists, goths, and local Wiccans. But dealing with her ex is the least of Hannah's concerns when a terrifying blood ritual interrupts the end-of-school-year bonfire. Evidence of dark magic begins to appear all over Salem, and Hannah's sure it's the work of a deadly Blood Witch. The issue is, her coven is less than convinced, forcing Hannah to team up with the last person she wants to see: Veronica. While the pair attempt to smoke out the Blood Witch at a house party, Hannah meets Morgan, a cute new ballerina in town. But trying to date amid a supernatural crisis is easier said than done, and Hannah will have to test the limits of her power if she's going to save her coven and get the girl, especially when the attacks on Salem's witches become deadlier by the day.

#queer fiction #wlw books #wlw literature #queer literature #lgbtqa literature #lgbt #book recommendations #yeah i'm gonna do this every year wlw books excite me

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the-good-noodle-kf · 5 years

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Heeyyy so that fic I posted four months ago now has a second and third chapter!

I posted it on AO3 two(?) days ago, and I sort of forgot to post it on here at the same time, but better late than never ig..

This is the second chapter, and I’ll leave the link to the third at the bottom, because the third chapter is v long eheh

Kaito is more pale than Shuichi remembers. Then again, if he looked in a mirror, he’d notice he’s more pale too. The simulation helmet looks out of place on his head; it covers up his signature astronaut-gravity-defiant hair. He’s still, which is so disconcerting for the otherwise animated magenta-head.

When he turns to Maki she has an expression that Shuichi has never seen in the time that he’d known her. She is just staring at Kaito’s unmoving form, but the former detective has a feeling that she isn’t completely there, in that room. He could guess there are a mixture of emotions threatening to rise to the surface; she’s probably feeling regret, despondency, and some form of pity, much like himself. However, the shaking of her hands and the stiffening of her shoulders pair to form what could only be fear. He’s never seen Maki show anything even slightly reminiscent of fear.

He wonders what she’s afraid of. Is it the fear of the future, for Kaito, or for herself? He doesn’t want to consider the possibility that she’s scared of how things will change once he wakes up, even though it’s fairly likely. He clearly remembered her last few words to Kaito, and his lack of bilateral response. He isn’t the one who’s in love with Kaito (the word sounds weird as he thinks it), but it’s got to be harder to face for her than it is for him. He knows she remembers too; how could she not?

He settles on the assumption that the brunette just fears the unknown… it’s ambiguous but realistic. Isn’t everything about this new reality unknown anyway?

It starts to feel like he’s intruding, so he quietly leaves the room. He hadn’t realized how helpful the beeping of the heart rate monitor was for synchronising with his breathing, because once he’s back in that hallway, he can’t seem to steadily breathe without thinking about it.

Now that he is noticing it, it’s like his breathing is a voluntary motion. He tries to distract himself by walking towards the others and thinking about other things. It works until he acknowledges that it works, but then he’s back to thinking about it. He inhales, he exhales. Himiko’s still talking to Tenko, but they’re sitting on the sectional now. He inhales again. Tojo’s somewhere else now, but the tea cart is still there. He exhales.

Seeing Kaito had brought more questions to his mind, and they’re the type of questions that he can’t figure out the answer to without additional information. He doesn’t necessarily want to talk to any employee of Team Danganronpa ever again (he actually wants to distance himself from any one of them as much as possible), but he won’t get answers otherwise. His disdain for anything Danganronpa related (aren’t they all technically ‘Danganronpa related’?) doesn’t outweigh his tenacious curiosity, so he asks the woman, “What... decides... when they’ll wake up?”

She grins like more of a lunatic than any of Danganronpa’s killers could ever be. “There are the questions I’ve been waiting for!” She looks through her files and starts reading one of them aloud. “Their awakening is determined by a number of factors. The most prominent one is their will to live, however, the severity of their cause of death can substantially delay this. It also depends on when they passed on and how real the simulation felt to them. The more skeptical participants are likely to wake up sooner. At the same time, no exact time can be calculated due to external circumstances, like the game’s psychological impact on them. Anything else?”

“Ah. How long will it be?”

“It will be a while. He definitely won’t wake up until after participant number eight-zero-zero, Miu Iruma, awakens.” She smiles, even though there’s nothing about the conversation that’s worth smiling about.

There’s one more question that Shuichi needs to ask, but he doesn’t want to know the answer. No, that’s not true; he wants to know the answer, but he’s definitely not ready for it. “Are they... is it possible,” he swallows, “that they won’t wake up?” he braces himself.

The Team Danganronpa employee taps her pen to her lips. “Well, the retaining of in-game memories and the removal pre-game memories is a new implementation this season, but based on how the previous season went, everything should work out alright. Of course, because of unforeseen circumstances, nothing is set in stone.”

He presses his lips in a line. It’s like none of their lives are any consequence to this woman. To her, it doesn’t seem to matter if they live or die.

“You can go visit them though, any time. I advise you to not remove their helmets though, because that will kill them. They need to rejoin reality on their own terms. Forcing them out now will be too much for their psyche to handle!” She giggles, and Shuichi hides an unsettled shudder. He instead forces a smile and puts some distance between the two of them.

Shuichi begins weighing his options; he needs to find a way to kill time - waste time. He supposes he could go through that locker with his old belongings, but he’s not... ready. He doesn’t feel ready for anything. Nothing makes sense anymore and he just -

He needs to start small.

He decides that he should probably eat something even though he has no appetite. Just the thought that (at least) the last hundred times he ate something, it was probably tube fed to him by more members of Team Danganronpa because of his… incapacity, makes him want to do it for himself while also ruining his appetite further.

He can’t win. (He did win.) Isn’t winning supposed to be a good thing? Shuichi doesn’t remember being competitive, especially not in such a dreary situation, but shouldn’t he be at least a little glad that he didn’t have to experience dying like most of the others did?

He’s not.

Shuichi is pushing himself to eat some bland crackers when Kaede Akamatsu walks into the room.

“Hey Shuichi.” she greets him with a smile.

He startles when he sees her, and almost spits out some cracker crumbs, before he realizes that he has to swallow the food in his mouth before he can talk. The dry pieces scratch his throat in his rush to speak, and all he can say is, “K-Kaede.” His eyes are wide open and she’s just smiling like nothing’s wrong about the situation they’re all caught up in. Then he realizes that she was gone before the worst of it happened. But, his brain supplies, she died horribly.

“I…” He has so many things he wants to tell her but all of them are gone from his mind now.

“You did it Shuichi, I knew you could.”

He doesn’t know where to begin. “Wh-?” he lets out a questioning noise. He unintentionally grips the bag of crackers hard enough that a number of them break with a crunch.

“You beat the mastermind at their own game. If anyone could do it, you could,” she tells him, and she’s so nice and so supportive, but he doesn’t really feel like he did anything. Almost everyone died. He should’ve stopped the killing game before it began like Kaede set out to do, though perhaps in a different way...

The first full sentence that comes out is a self-deprecating one, “I didn’t do anything.” His head is down-turned, and he almost wishes he had his hat to hide under. It’s true though. Himiko’s the reason that they figured out the mastermind’s secrets; if she hadn’t found the secret door in the girls bathroom, they never would’ve found out the truth.

“Of course you did! Don’t put yourself down so much, be confident.”

But, he can’t. He nods absently, because he isn’t going to say that aloud.

“I believe in you Shuichi.”

How could someone like Kaede believe in him when he doesn’t even believe in himself? Why does she believe in him? He’d failed to stop her execution, failed to stop the killing game until the very end, and the only thing he did successfully was help lead the rest of his friends to their executions. He should’ve recognized Kokichi’s plan to stop the killing game instead of revealing Kaito. He should’ve listened to Kaito, and never voted Gonta in the first place. He should’ve been more perceptive before the seance. He should’ve noticed that Hoshi wasn’t okay, and prevented his death. He should’ve realized what Kaede was doing before it was too late.

Even if they voted incorrectly, none of it was real. They could’ve spared each other the additional trauma that stemmed from witnessing murder after murder, forced upon them by Tsumugi and Monokuma. What did it matter if he died in the simulation instead? It’s not like he ever cared about winning. Or, maybe he did before he got his memories wiped and rewritten, but that doesn’t matter anymore either.

He’s not sure when Kaede leaves the room, but soon he’s alone again. He hears Amami call out, “Kaede! It was Tsumugi. Shuichi told me,” but it’s muffled by the closed door. He’s glad that she’s cleared of the guilt. He can tell by how happy she seems now. He’s happy for her too, and he wonders if he’ll ever get back to normal.

(What is… normal?)

His first therapy session happens a few days later. The therapist, another member of Team Danganronpa is, surprisingly, sort of nice. She doesn’t seem to have any ill intention, and Shuichi almost thinks her eyes show kindness.

“What you’re experiencing is a form of survivor’s guilt. You may feel like you shouldn’t have made it through the game mostly unscathed while all the others didn’t. You might think you could’ve… put an end to it sooner, or spared them the pain. This is normal, but you should know that nothing that happened was your fault.”

He understands what she’s saying, but he has a feeling it’ll take a little while for him to accept it, if he ever does.

She moves onto the next topic quickly. “How have you been adjusting?”

“Um… I’ve been… okay, I guess.”

“It’s probably been a little overwhelming.” A little is an understatement, and Shuichi can tell that they both know this. He figures she’s downplaying it on purpose, trying not to be too pushy on getting him to open up. He’s grateful for that.

“...yeah.”

It continues along like an ordinary discussion, and the therapist gives some recommendations to help with his appetite and the nightmares. It’s not a very lengthy session; Shuichi doesn’t have much to say. It is helpful, but he’s not ready to talk about everything. The therapist, however, is already privy to all the information involving their lives within the simulation. She encourages him to do things like reading to pass the time because it might take his mind off of the trauma, if only for a little while. She also suggests that he might benefit from visiting the other three that haven’t woken up yet. It might make him feel better to talk to them, even if they can’t hear him.

She’s right, but he hasn’t prepared himself for that yet. He hasn’t visited Kaito since that brief time with Maki, and he can’t bring himself to go back. Maybe that’ll change soon, but for right now, Shuichi is taking his time.

His appetite has already improved a bit. He’s been eating two meals a day, which is a start. His stomach must’ve shrunk while he was in the simulation, because he isn’t hungry for anything else.

Somehow, Shuichi finds himself outside the door of the room that Kokichi Oma currently resides in. It’s not exactly a surprise, though. Something’s been gnawing at him - he wasn’t sure what it was until now. He tries telling himself that he has nothing to say to Kokichi, but…

...that’s a lie.

He sighs.

Logically, Shuichi, and everyone else’s distrust towards Kokichi was warranted, but… he could’ve tried harder. No, no matter what he did, he’s sure he wouldn’t have figured out Kokichi’s true motives.

But, he… he ignored the fact that Kokichi would’ve been the victim if he hadn’t persuaded Gonta, and that was wrong. He knows that Kokichi was cornered; no one would believe him if he tried to tell them about Miu. He even went as far as to lie and falsely implicate Kokichi during the trial, and that makes him feel worse than when he solved his first homicide case. That first case never really happened though, he reminds himself.

Kokichi dug himself into a hole, and he could have tried and tried to claw himself out, but he would never make it alone; it wasn’t his fault that no one was willing to give him a hand and pull him out. And then, the hole became a grave, and Kokichi sacrificed himself (why did he sacrifice himself?) to help them when they did nothing for him.

He… wants to say sorry.

So, he swallows the saliva in his mouth, trying to clear away the thick feeling in his throat, and looks both ways before entering as if he’s a child about to do something he’s not supposed to. He knows Kaito and Maki would probably have something to say about it - though, that might’ve changed for Kaito after the fifth trial, and Maki probably wouldn’t actually say anything, but he can picture a judgemental look. If Shuichi had to guess who Maki hated the most during the entirety of the game, even after everything, it would doubtlessly be Kokichi; and, he would be right.

He almost expects Oma to jump up and say, “it’s a lie!”

He doesn’t, of course. He just lays there, looking sickly and pale. The bags under his eyes are ironic considering how long he - they’ve all - been unconscious. Then again, sleeping more than necessary does that too, he’s heard.

He swallows more of the dryness clotting his throat and turns away. The room suddenly feels suffocating, like it’s closing in on him, almost like that hydraulic press closed in on Kokichi, the intrusive thought passes through his mind, and he internally scolds himself, stop it, don’t think about it.

He promises himself that he’ll say sorry when Kokichi wakes up. If, his thoughts remind him, prompting a grimace.

He visits Miu right after. He knows it’s only to justify himself for visiting Kokichi, but seeing her so quiet and not cracking some crude joke or reference is also so unusual.

He probably wouldn’t feel sympathetic for her if she hadn’t been the one who ended up dead, but he still can’t fault Gonta for trying to save them all… She planned out a murder, and it’s messed up, it’s so messed up -

She would’ve gone through with it too. He’s sure of it.

She’d been so calculating, designing the simulation - (a simulation within a simulation, Shuichi pointlessly notes) - for the sole purpose of murder, and even going so far as to pin the blame on Kaito. He wonders how different things would’ve been if she had succeeded. Not much of one, he supposes. It still would’ve all been fake, fake, fake. Maybe the killing game wouldn’t have been prolonged for as long as it did, not like it would matter.

Shuichi stews in the thought as he walks back to his room. He’s too tired to think right now. He hopes that everything will stop being so exhausting if he takes a nap, but he knows that’s just wishful thinking.

I also posted it on my Ao3 Account along with chapter three :}

#danganronpa #danganronpa v3 #fanfic #postgame #shuichi saihara #maki harukawa #himiko yumeno #rantaro amami #kaede akamatsu #ryoma hoshi #kirumi tojo #korekiyo shinguji #angie yonaga #tenko chabashira #gonta gokuhara #eventual romance #eventual oumasai

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gaytoxe · 5 years

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something i’m working on :)

thank you to @rosecolouredreality for giving me the idea to write this

i decided to try and make a fic based on the idea if kaito and kokichi’s plan actually worked and they were able to stop the killing game. and since pregame exists, i figured civilization would still be there since there were all kinds of people watching the entire thing.

and, of course, i chose to try and do kaito’s point of view after being hospitalized due to his illness.

just thought i’d try and give some backstory before i posted it, since it is an AU! i hope i was able to make it somehow sad. i planned on making it saimota, but i thought it’d be better for me to just keep it (kinda) short and just stay in kaito’s thoughts. i tried doing saimota, but it ended up being a complete mess, so i scrapped it all together. besides, i cannot escape the oumota- it’s actually easier for me to write oumota since i’ve written it for so long; it makes me sad i can’t portray saimota correctly, though. :(

anyway, here it is! i’ll probably work on it a lot and repost it once i’ve revised the hell out of it, but i thought i’d just post something since i never post my writing.

Triumph and the Guilt That Follows

The plan worked.

It actually fucking worked.

Sitting in a hospital bed deep in thought, the only thought on Kaito’s mind being that he and Ouma’s plan succeeded in fooling the mastermind, saving everyone. And yet, the price paid for everyone’s safety was Ouma Kokichi’s life.

Kaito’s “trial” of sorts ended up revealing that Tsumugi Shirogane, their friend, was the mastermind. But Kaito never expected it to be Tsumugi of all people. She didn’t seem like the type, but he thought that way about everyone. Some more than others.

The remaining five surviving participants of the killing game escaped back to civilization thanks to the audience of the killing game, and Kaito, of course, was immediately hurried into the emergency room due to his illness.

He recovered just fine from his illness, surprisingly, the doctors told him, but he already knew he would recover. What kind of small disease would kill or even succeed in slowing down Kaito Momota, Luminary Of The Stars?

He stayed his usual energetic and cheerful self when Kiibo, Maki, Shuichi or Himiko visited and most of it was genuine, and it always ended in Kaito assuring them he’d be fine. After all, they actually escaped the killing game; that was a feat Kaito couldn’t help being excited about. The relief of knowing that none of his friends would die anymore really lifted a weight off of his shoulders.

Whenever he distracted himself with the television in his hospital room and flipped through channels to find something interesting, he always ended up watching game shows. Game shows, (ironically because he was in a killing game not even a year ago), seemed to be the only interesting thing on TV, apart from the news, where the only story on was about the popular real life killing game show: Danganronpa.

The past few days, he watched the news constantly, trying to see if somehow everyone would be okay and that all the other teenagers that he participated in that sick killing game with wouldn’t really be dead.

But they were, and his regret of not being able to do more for them during the killing game always stung him before he could lie to himself about it.

Kaito despised not being able to see everyone again. It felt so unusual not tasting Kirumi’s cooking or constantly seeing the bright sun outside every time he watched outside, no matter how much he wished that the killing game never existed. He wanted to visit their memorials, wanted to remember them for who they were and genuinely leave something for them. It would give him closure and hopefully would provide some happiness to them, wherever they were. They were and still are all his friends. However, the hospital kept him back from doing so and refused to let him visit until they released him, as they still required research on his body to figure out just what kind of illness his body experienced.

He yearned to lay his eyes on the stars again and stargaze with Maki and Shuichi after they trained, wanting to connect the specks of stars into constellations once more. Seeing the world he missed so much from a hospital window everyday wasn’t very helpful, either. It only fueled his determination to continue his dream of being an astronaut after his release and at least experience a normal life, so despite the guilt of not being able to do more for his friends gnawing at him, Kaito still believed he could move on with everyone else. Like Hell he’d let a killing game keep his spirits down!

In hopes of easing his mind, Kaito started reflecting on the killing game and the situation he was thrown into, trying to make sense of everything.

Especially his final partner in crime, Kokichi Ouma.

The thought that Ouma Kokichi, the one of a kind liar that Kaito clashed with constantly because of their seemingly different beliefs, was actually dead still hurt him. And the possibility that they maybe, just maybe, could’ve been friends in a different situation that wasn’t a game designed so that they’d kill each other just strengthened the emotional jab that constantly poked and even stabbed him.

They weren’t so different after all, and of course, he only realized it when Ouma was about to fucking die.

He could never look at blood the same, even if it ended up small. The memory popped up in his mind every time, and he almost vomited the first time he spotted blood since then. The thick, crimson liquid seeping through the press as his coat sleeve hung from the entrance, closed forever to never be opened ever again due to his own intervention as blood slowly dripped onto the hard floor; that visual would never escape his mind. Hell, he almost vomited the entire meal provided by the nurses just imagining it for even a split second at one point.

The only time Kaito ever received the chance to figure him out ended up presenting itself to him while, once again, the supreme leader laid on his deathbed as he slowly started to die. His fate had been sealed, and Kaito couldn’t back out. It would’ve been stupid of him to even consider doing so, and all of Ouma’s efforts would’ve been for nothing. He owed it to Ouma to finish his plan; he saved his life, for fuck’s sake.

And, even after all this planning, Ouma still handed over his life to Kaito and gave him the opportunity to save everyone.

Kaito succeeded in being the hero he wanted to. Sitting in an exisal, he conducted Ouma’s plan and carried out his final lie. And the whole time, ever since the twisted game started, both of them wore masks on their faces despite each death: Kaito wearing one of a hero that would help anyone in need and offer endless support despite having strict morals and Kokichi wearing one of an outrageous liar that found fun in a sick killing game.

More than anything, Kaito desired to see Ouma as a person without the killing game weighing his actions and without having to worry about him or anyone else dying, and the idea of them getting along and building a friendship really didn’t sound that bad the more he thought about it.

Staring at the white ceiling above him, Kaito tried distracting himself from his thoughts by listening to his heartbeat on the monitor residing next to his bed. His eyes trailed the cord connecting him to it, and he watched the small waves pick up on it. The beeps quickened slightly due to how much stress thinking this hard brought him and his desire to quit thinking about Ouma. The one he wanted to figure out, the one who chose him to comply with his plan, the one that always lied, the one that constantly played pranks on everyone despite their situation, the one Kaito took a hit for to save him, the one who Kaito ended up respecting in the end, the one who he just couldn’t-

“Momota-kun?”

Shuichi’s voice snapped him out of his rapid thoughts. Noticing Shuichi’s concerned face, Kaito’s lilac eyes immediately snapped to the monitor. The fast paced beeping filled the room, and once he realized it, he slowly calmed down; the beeping slowed until it sounded at a normal heartbeat.

Yes, everything was fine. Kaito didn’t have to worry about waking up to find someone dead anymore, and he didn’t have to worry about losing anyone else.

But even so, Kokichi Ouma was still a man that would forever be ingrained in his memory.

Seeing Ouma as more than enemy, as a friend, someone he could talk to about more than just surviving a killing game was starting to appeal to him a little more than he expected.

Even so, after spending an entire killing game hiding his despair behind a heroic mask, Kaito wasn’t sure he could escape the habit of assuring everyone he was “just fine” yet. Maybe that was Ouma’s way of leaving an impact on him, in a way. He still attempted guessing, even after seeming to reach a conclusion in his mind.

Kokichi Ouma seemed to be the complete embodiment of lies, no matter how Kaito looked at it.

But Kaito would and forever will know that if he ever got the chance to see what Ouma was behind that mask of his, he’d take it, no matter what.

#i kinda just needed to write something sad #my writing #kaito momota #kokichi ouma #shuichi saihara #drv3 #drv3 killing harmony #danganronpa killing harmony #oumota

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