Smiling Gimli cuz we all need that sometimes

Måneskin for QX Magasin - translation

The Swedish magazine QX did an interview with Måneskin when they were in Sweden, which they’ve now posted and here it is translated into English! Also a huge shoutout to @bidet-and-legolas for checking spelling and grammar for me!

The Italian Eurovision winners Måneskin have achieved great success during the ummer. No other Eurovision winner, ever, has managed to get new hits immediately after the win of the over 60 years old music competition. ABBA didn’t become an international success until one and a half years after the win of Eurovision 1974. But the unusual thing is that it has gone “worst” for the winning song Zitti e Buoni of all their songs on the top lists. Instead the single Beggin’ from 2017 (!) and I Wanna Be Your Slave, which was released this spring, have been topping the lists all over the world and have been talked about far outside of the classic competition’s borders. Måneskin, who most of us know about at this point, got their name after the Danish word moonshine which came from the bassist Victoria De Angelis with a Danish background. The band had their breakthrough in the Italian X-Factor 2017 and have had success in Italy until they won the San Remo festival earlier this year and thus got the opportunity to represent Italy in Eurovision. They entered as favorites, and took the victory with a lot of support from Europe’s tv-voters.

- We never thought we would win. But when we saw how many points the people gave us we had hope, says Victoria De Angelis.

They are late to their interview in the Upper House suite in Gothia Towers in Gotherburg when Victoria, singer Damiano David, guitarist Thomas Raggi and drummer Ethan Torchio come out from a nearby room styled in black and white. It is Victoria who with her hoarse voice starts talking with the help of Damiano; the other two are listening interestingly, but mostly nod in agreement.

At this moment Beggin', a cover from X-Factor which came out in 2017, is number one on Spotify's global top list. Isn't it weird to have a hit with such an old song?

- Yes, very weird. It is not really typical for how we sound today either. Our sound has developed, Damiano David explains and Victoria continues:

- As soon as the European tour is over we will go back to the studio again and continue writing. We have a few songs but we feel that it's important to find new material. We like to do a lot of songs, so we can pick the favorites later.

At the beginning of the summer the band was on the cover of the Italian Vanity Fair's pride edition, a statement that was very important for the band.

- It was important for us, especially in Italy which is a very closed-minded country when it comes to LGBTQ+ people. They have a conservative way of thinking and many people are against being gay. It is crazy, and it shouldn't be like that. We have a huge audience so we try to spread a positive message. Hopefully people who look up to us can find the courage when we say that everyone should be able to be whoever they want. It has been a taboo subject in the past, but we think it is important to spread that everyone should be able to be who they want and love who they want.

When I ask what it means when Damiano David is mentioned as a "LGBTQ-advocate" on his Wikipedia he blushes and explains:

- We try to not call ourselves that. Because those are such huge words. We do our best, and only because we talk about it we can't call ourselves that. But if we have knowledge on a subject we try to talk about it.

Victoria continues:

- I read an article yesterdy about an 12-year-old boy who likes us and wears makeup to school. He was beaten because of that, it was so sad to hear. When something like that happens we want to spread a message about feelig free to be whoever you want and not let idiots push you down. You are the one who is right and they are wrong.

In an earlier interview it was reported that Thomas is straight, Ethan "sexually free", Victoria bisexual and Damiano David is straight but "curious". Is that true?

- That was reported incorrectly. I am completely straight, but I'm not against anything. I think it was a missunderstading of the answer, says Damiano.

Do you think putting people in boxes acording to their sexuality is an old view of reality?

- Yes, but people are comfortable to put people in boxes. But often that isn't possible. I think there are many different boxes today. People should be more open-minded and stop putting people in boxes. You should only be curious of life and other people, tastes and passions, says Damiano and the others agree.

Victoria talks about when she realized she was attracted to girls and that she then didn't want to put a lable on herself.

- It is so stupid that people create a picture of who you are based on your sexuality. That's when stereotypes are made which some people don't recognize themselves in at all. That you are gay for example says nothing about your personality. The norms say that people are straight, but it limits so many people if they get to hear that at a young age. It takes a lot to break free from it when you figure out your own sexuality.

Måneskin are different from other rockbands with their style, when they mix looks that traditionally are viewed as masculine and feminine. Victoria often wears pants, the boys wear makeup and Damiano David can sometimes be seen in skirts.

The stylist Nicoló "Nick" Cerioni is the man behind many of the looks of the band.

- We like him because he is smart and good. He understands what we want and stand for with our clothes. When he wants to experiment we often say yes, says Damiano David and continues:

- Tonight I will maybe wear a skirt, but I don't feel like that's feminine. It is my skirt. Everyone should wear what they want. If I wear a crop-top, skirt, I should feel free to do so. We don't think masculine and feminine clothes exist...

- But you have to think about enough space for the cock, Victoria butts in.

Everyone laughs before Damiano continues:

- I would say so, but in a little more reserved way (laughs) "Obviosly our bodies have different forms..." but, yes for boobs and cock.

Have you always been experimental with your style?

- Yes as a 6-7-year-old I was very "boyish" in the way I dressed, and I had short hair. I thought girl clothes stopped me and prevented me from having fun. Luckily I had the strength to not care about what others said about me, says Victoria.

Thomas, who has been mostly quiet and listening adds:

- Be yourself and experiment with whatever it is, music, style...

Do you notice that the fans are looking up to you?

- They are writing that they are thankful. That thanks to us they dare to take the step to dye their hair, wear jewelry or wear makeup. We are so greatful, because that means they have understood us. To give the strength to others is one of the most beautiful things in this job, says Damiano David and the others agree.

What does the rock stage look like in Italy?

We ARE the rock stage (laughs). There are many older bands, and there are almost no young ones. We hope our fans can form their own band and strengthen the stage.

Do you have a dream collab?

- Rihanna. Miley Cyrus. Harry Styles. But maybe they are a bit too big?

Not really though? If you as an Eurovision winner reaches number one on the global Spotify chart nothing is impossible.

Hello! I have a prompt/request for you!

“how do you accidentally kill someone?!”

With either Legolas, Jace, or Alec! You decide :)

pairing: Alec Lightwood x sister! reader

warnings: swearing, angst.

summary: you accidentally kill a person while on a mission, knowing that Alec would be upset you waited to tell him.

a/n: I decided to do this with Alec, I hope thats okay. sorry it took so long for me to write this, I had so many requests. enjoy lovlies!

prompt list

*************

you and Issy were out on a mission, hunting down a ravener demon pack. there were more of them than the two of you had anticipated but the two of you insisted that you could handle it.

Izzy was fighting one of the demons, her whip flying everywhere. you were pressed up against a wall as a group of ravener demons came at you.

tightening your grip on seraph blade, you twirled it around you and attacked. you sliced your blade through ravener demons and plunged it into the last one, you pulled the blade out and was surprised to find it covered in blood, human blood.

you looked back at the demon, it falling and revealing a person behind it. the person was obviously trying to get away, not understanding what was going on but they were very scared.

you gasped, you were too caught up in fighting the group that came at you. you never bothered to check if anyone was around, and now someone was dead because of it.

Isabelle looked over to you, the pack now all dead. she saw the dead body and took in the horror etched on your face. she walked up to you and placed a hand on your arm, trying to comfort you.

"it wasn't your fault y/n, I didn't see them either." she said, "come on, let's get the body back to the institute."

the two of you transported the body to the institute and got somebody to bring it down to the basement, briefly explaining what happened.

you found Alec talking to Magnus, you decided to wait to tell him. knowing he would be mad, either that or he would tell your parents and that was arguably worse than just him.

that night saw you sat at dinner with him, Izzy, Clary, Jace and Magnus. Simon had some sort of meeting with his band, The Mortal Instruments or something.

"hey y/n, when are you planning on telling him?" Izzy asked, nudging your shoulder with hers.

"I dunno, maybe after dinner. he will be in a good mood then, right?" you ask, turning to her.

"let's hope so. he shouldn't put all of the blame on you though, I didn't see them either. do you want me to come with you?"

"no, I killed them. it's my fault." you say, looking back at your untouched plate if food. you felt too sick to stomach anything.

"hey, y/n. are you okay? you haven't eaten anything." Clary asked, smiling kindly at you.

"yeah I'm fine, I'm just not hungry thats all." you say, exusing yourself from the table and rushing to your room.

you collapsed on the bed, tears streaming down your face. the light from the candles dancing, causing shadows on the wall opposite you.

how did I kill someone? I'm supposed to be a shadowhunter, how will I ever prove that I'm as good a fighter as Alec and Issy now? these thoughts ran through your mind as you drifted off to sleep. a sleep filled with his face, the face of the man you killed.

that morning you woke up, still in the clothes you were in last night. you got changed into a fresh pair of clothes and headed to breakfast, managing to avoid Alec.

you hurried to the training rooms, hoping not to be seen by him.

"hey, y/n are you okay? you rushed out of dinner last night and no ones seen you since." a voice called.

you turn around and come face to face with your older brother, the one person you didn't want to see. "yeah I'm fine." you mumble, trying to avoid eye contact.

"I can read you like a book y/n, what's up?" he asked, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder.

"I sort of accidentally killed someone." you say quietly, looking up at him. the way his face changed was all the information you needed to know that he had heard you.

"you did what?! how do you accidentally kill someone?!" he exclaimed.

"when me and Issy were fighting the ravener demon pack, someone was standing behind one of the demons. I think they were trying to get away but me and Issy didn't see them. I stabbed through the demon and into them." you say sheepishly, trying to explain yourself.

"I'm head of the institute, how was I not told about this?"

"I said that I was going to tell you, I just didn't say when." you say, rubbing your arm.

"look y/n, it wasn't your fault. Issy didn't see them either, it could have just as easily have been her that killed them. okay? not your fault, at all." he said, pulling you into a hug.

"thanks Alec, I thought you would be mad." you say, your voice muffled against his chest.

"I'm not mad, but I will have to tell Mum. I don't think she will be the happiest with you." he said, wrapping his arms tighter around you.

you groan against his chest and pull away. "I have to go and train now, or Jace will kill me. I'm already late." you say.

"okay, and remember. it wasn't your fault." he said, patting you on the back and letting you hurry off to meet Jace to train.

The Arms of the One You Loved {Legolas x Reader}

A.N: Thank you for the request Anon! I'm sorry it's so long, I got a little carried away. Also, I can't drink so I have no idea what being drunk is like so I hope I did ok writing it! Enjoy!

Anon request from Tumblr: Heyy, could you do a Legolas x reader where reader gets really drunk (probably playing drinking game with dwarves) and Legolas has to take care of her since she has no clue what she's doing or saying, and make it fluffy pleaseee 🥺 And thank you!

Word Count: 3,149, oops! I’m sorry its so long!

Pairing: Legolas x Reader

Summary: The Fellowship stops at an inn one night and you get very drunk, leading you to say and do some things you normally wouldn't.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, kissing, alcohol/drunkenness.

****

The Arms of the One You Loved {Legolas x Reader}

"Ok," Gimli whispered. "So Gandalf and Boromir each have ten silver coins on Legolas to confess first, Aragorn has fifteen on Y/N, Merry, Pippin, Frodo, and I have each placed six on Legolas, and Sam has eight on Y/N ." Everyone placed their coins in an empty pouch of Gandalf's, which he cinched tight and put in one of his many pockets. They were all sitting around a table in an inn where you had stopped for the night, in a town a little larger than Bree. It was a respectable inn, built of old wood planks that glowed in the light coming from the fireplace, and was hazy with the smoke of pipes.

You and Legolas were getting food and ale and had absolutely no idea this conversation was even happening. The rest of the Fellowship had noticed the tension and chemistry between the two of you and had been for a while, so they had decided to do something about it. Clearly, they were all rooting for you to get together, but they were going to have very different approaches to getting you to do so.

You returned to the table and set down one of the platters laden with food, Legolas following with the other. He was quickly accosted by all the hobbits except Sam, and Gimli, while you made your way over to sit next to Aragorn and Gandalf. You slid in between them and were confused by the smirks on their faces. You followed their gazes to the end of the table, where Merry, Pippin, and Gimli were chatting with Legolas. You couldn't make out what they were saying, although you thought you saw Merry mouth your name, and there were smirks on the face of all three. You then noticed Boromir and Sam whispering together, and it sounded like an argument where you caught snatches of your name, as well as Legolas'.

Growing increasingly confused, you turned to Aragorn. "Why is everyone talking about me?" "I have no idea, Y/N" he stated, and then changed the subject to one you dreaded. "I've been noticing you and Legolas lately." "What is there to notice?" you replied acidly. "Oh, nothing," Aragorn airily replied. "Just the way the two of you are always together. Walking together, getting the food together... One might think something was going on between the two of you!" You felt the blood rush to your cheeks as you blushed and vehemently denied this. "Nothing is going on between me and Legolas! Besides, even if I did feel something, who's to say he'd feel the same? I mean, look at him. Prince of Mirkwood, elf, everything I am not." Aragorn had a knowing glint in his eye when he countered, "I think you'd be surprised, Y/N. Elves don't always prefer other elves." As he spoke, you saw his hand reach down to rest over the necklace he carried that you knew belonged to his beloved Arwen. Seeing your eyes follow his hand and then wistfully glance back to Legolas, he said, "Just tell him how you feel, Y/N. What harm could it do, to be honest with him?" "He could not love me, Aragorn. That's the harm it could do. I would rather be hopeful and not know than know that my feelings were not returned."

You were drawn out of this conversation by Gimli, who had gathered everyone's attention. "Let's have a drinking contest!" he proclaimed. You brightened, thinking maybe the alcohol would take your mind off of a certain elf. Gandalf proceeded to stand and walk away, as he went declaring "I'm too old for this nonsense! Give me a pipe over ale any day." Frodo rose, and with a quiet "good night" went upstairs as well, followed by Sam. "Anyone else too scared to challenge the champion?" Pippin asked. When you didn't move, Gimli blathered, "Y/N, a drinking contest is no place for a lass. Perhaps you should go rest and leave the drinking to us." You bristled and immediately got up to grab a pint of ale. Returning to the table, you declared "game on, dwarf," chugging the whole mug and slamming it onto the table. The looks of surprise from the males quickly turned to those of determination, and they scrambled to get their own mugs and catch up.

An hour and five pints later, you were all in varying states of drunkenness. Merry had been the first to stop, puking after two. Pippin had fallen asleep after three, and they had been carried upstairs by Boromir, who had bowed out after four pints. Gimli looked like he would tip over at any moment, and Aragorn looked a little sleepy, but Legolas looked serene as ever. Clearly, alcohol didn't affect elves in the same way it did others. You, meanwhile, could barely think straight, let alone see straight. You weren't even sure who was still at the table. You could discern a smaller shape that was either Gimli or Pippin slumped on the table and two larger ones. You sat up a little as a crash rang from the room, signifying Gimli falling from his stool fast asleep. "I'll bring him up." Aragorn rose, a little shakily, and poured water over Gimli's head, causing him to splutter and stagger to his feet. They made their unsteady way up the stairs, supporting each other. As they went, Legolas looked back to your seat and let out a soft curse. You were gone.

While Aragorn and Gimli were leaving, you had appeared on top of a table and had begun singing a drinking song that Merry had taught you while walking one day. "There is an inn, a merry old inn, beneath an old grey hill," you began, and as you sang you started to dance a jig, which involved a lot of flailing. You were quickly cut off by Legolas, who had sprung onto the table next to you. "My deepest apologies that this performance will be unable to continue, but my friend here needs to get some rest," he declared while barely able to keep a straight face. To the boos of the crowd, who probably had not witnessed a woman make such a spectacle of herself in a long time, he picked you up and carried you bridal-style upstairs.

Once upstairs, he plopped you down onto your bed. He turned to grab you a blanket, intending to tuck you in and then leave, but was stopped by you. "Legolas." "Yes, Y/N?" "You look pretty." you slurred, standing up and staggering towards him. "I like your hair, and your face, and your tunic, and..." you trailed off as your eyes met his. "Y/N," he murmured, "you are very drunk and you don't know what you're saying. You should sleep now." "Don't wanna sleep," you mumbled as you began to undo your tunic laces, "not tired." Legolas realized you were beginning to undress, "Whoa! Y/N, keep your shirt on!" "But I need to get ready for bed." you protested as you continued to undress. Finally, you stood with only your underthings on, and an elf who was doing his best to cover his eyes. "Y/N, I'm going to leave now," he stated, and he did. But he had barely made it two steps down the hall outside your door when he heard a crash, followed by muffled yelling and then a soft thump. He opened your door with a loud bang and stopped short at the sight before him.

"What happened?" he spluttered as he saw you, on the ground with your nightclothes tangled around you and all your weapons scattered around the room. "I was tryin' to get my bedclothes on, but I couldn't figure out where my feet or head went, so I just wrapped them around myself to stay warm. Then I was stuck so I tried to reach my daggers to cut myself out, but I just tipped everything over." Chuckling at your stupidity, he picked you up and placed you on the bed, untangling you from the mess you had made. He laid out your clothes on top of you, and with gestures showed you where each body part went. He turned to leave again but was stopped by your voice. "Legolas," you mumbled, "Would you help me put this on?" "Oh, Y/N," he protested, "I don't that's very proper..." but he trailed off as the pleading look on your face became too much for him, and with a sigh, he began to help you get dressed. As he fastened the laces around your chest, you noticed a faint spot of red blooming on his pale cheeks. "Are you blushing?!" you exclaimed drunkenly. "No... no way, why would you think that?" stuttered the elf as he backed away from you. "You're blushing! HA!" And with a smirk, you whispered in his ear, "I want to make you blush like that whenever you see me." You turned, flopped onto the bed, and grabbed Legolas' hand, dragged him next to you. Your mood changed yet again, and you felt slightly remorseful for how crazy you were being and decided to just clear it all up for Legolas. "I guess what I'm trying to tell you is that I love you." He looked extremely startled, and that turned to shock as you pulled his face down to meet yours and kissed him. He pulled back, "Y/N, I don't want to do this now. You're drunk. It wouldn't be right." Disappointed, you rolled over and whispered, "Ok. Just, please stay?" He sighed but laid next to you on the bed. You fell asleep quickly, but he stayed awake, his head spinning.

You awoke the next morning with a splitting headache and no memories of the previous night. You remembered starting a drinking contest, and something to do with Legolas, but other than that your mind was blank. You rose and got dressed, noticing your clothes scattered on the floor of the small room. You gathered your things and went downstairs, where your headache was intensified by the assaulting noise of travelers having breakfast. You clapped your hands over your ears, wincing, and wound your way through the room to the table where your friends were sitting. Gandalf, Frodo, and Sam looked raring to go, as they hadn't partaken in much ale the night before. The rest were all in varying states of disarray, with Merry, Pippin, and Gimli looking the worst, and Boromir and Aragorn looking like they had headaches, but could manage. Legolas, meanwhile, seemed as ethereal as ever, except for the fact that he wouldn't even look at you. What did I do last night? you wondered as you scarfed down breakfast with your cloak wrapped around your head to block out the noise.

Tramping out of the inn after eating, you slung your pack over your shoulders and fell into line behind Aragorn. Even he seemed a little worse for wear after the amount of alcohol he had consumed. "What happened after I left last night?" he queried. "Honestly, I don't even remember you leaving," you answered truthfully. "All I know is that something involved Legolas, I wish I knew what." Aragorn looked rather excited for a second, and then his face changed to one of contemplation. You walked in peaceful silence for a while, and he eventually moved up the line to speak with Legolas, and you worried about what he might be doing. Sam fell back to keep you company. "Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling after last night?" he said with a concerned look on his face. You smiled down at the hobbit, touched by his inquiry, and responded, "I'm okay, thank you, Sam. I have a headache, but that was to be expected. I just wish I could remember what happened! I seem to remember something about Legolas, but that's it." As you spoke, you missed Sam's head perk up to listen more intently once you spoke Legolas' name. "Well, I think you should ask Legolas what happened," he suggested with a bit of a sly look on his face. "And then, maybe, you could tell the rest of us!" You pushed his shoulder playfully, "I don't know Sam. I guess I'll tell you if it's not too embarrassing." With that, you fell back into companionable silence with the hobbit.

Meanwhile, a ways ahead of you Aragorn was talking to Legolas, inquiring about last night's events. "So, what happened after Gimli and I went upstairs last night?" Aragorn was startled to see a small patch of pink appear on Legolas' cheeks after he had spoken. "Something happened! What? Did you tell her?" he kept prodding with an air of such excitement that Legolas finally caved and told him. "Well, she was very intoxicated so I brought her to her room. She insisted on me helping her get her nightclothes on, which was rather embarrassing." "I know more than that happened," observed Aragorn. "I'd like to know, maybe I can give you some advice." With a sigh, Legolas admitted, "Y/N might have kissed me." The "WHAT?!" that came out of Aragorn's mouth was probably heard in Mordor, and it was loud enough to make your headache come back with a vengeance. Legolas continued, "And she also told me she loved me." Aragorn was now beaming wider than Fangorn forest. "Did you say anything? What prompted this?" "I did not say anything, other than to tell her to stop kissing me because she was drunk and I did not want to take advantage." "So you left?!" "No, she asked me to stay, so I left early this morning." "This is wonderful, Legolas!" Aragorn exclaimed. "Now you can be with her," he encouraged. And then the realization hit him. "Oh, no. She doesn't remember anything from last night." "So that means we can just all go back to normal." Legolas wheedled. "No one has to tell her anything. Besides, she was drunk and had no idea what she was saying. She doesn't love me." "She loves you, Legolas. Just as you love her." Aragorn hoped that his friend would recognize the truth so that the two of you finally stopped feeling heartsick over the other.

As the sun was starting to sink behind the mountains behind, washing the sky a glorious combination of pink and orange, Boromir found a spot to camp and everyone shrugged off their packs and began setting up. As usual, you and Legolas were put on firewood duty together, something that usually didn't register in your brain but tonight you looked at Aragorn in suspicion as he waved you into the woods, the elf following.

You gathered logs and picked your way through the forest towards the campsite. As you approached, you heard voices, and you hid behind a tree as you heard Aragorn tell everyone to be quiet. "I have news," he announced in a whisper. "It pertains to a certain bet we all made." At that everyone's head snapped towards him and they listened raptly. Just then, Legolas came up beside you and you yanked him behind the tree next to yours, gesturing at him to stay quiet. His eyes widened as Aragorn's voice drifted over to you. "Legolas told me that last night, Y/N told him she loved him." This was met with groans from everyone who had bet for Legolas. Aragorn continued, saying something about how everyone owed him and Sam, but you missed it. At his first words, your head had jerked over to Legolas'. "Did I really say that?" you stammered. "Yes. And some other things that are best not repeated." You put your face in your hands. "I'm so terribly sorry, Legolas. I never meant to tell you, and I'm sorry for anything else I might have done. We can go back to normal, or I can just never talk to you, anything you want." You broke down in tears as you said this.

"Hey, Y/N." Legolas stepped over to you and took your chin in his hand, brushing the tears off your face with his thumb. "It's okay. Last night was a little crazy, but I've had time to think about it, and I think I know what to do." With that, he brushed your hair behind your ear, leaned in, and softly pressed his lips against yours. He pulled away, looking nervous. "Wait," you muttered, mind whirling over what this meant, "are you messing around?" "No, Y/N. I love you too" At this you reached up and pulled his head down, meeting his lips with yours. You tangled your hands through his hair as his came down from your face to rest on your waist. You backed up, intending to press your back against a tree, but tripped over a root and fell with a crash, Legolas on top of you. Your friends must have heard because they all came rushing around the tree, weapons drawn, to find a blushing elf and human lying on the forest floor in a rather compromising position. Legolas scrambled up, "It's not what it looks like, I promise!" "It's exactly what it looks like," you countered from the ground, laughing. "Now, someone help me up!" The elf bent down and scooped you into his arms, carrying you back to the campsite followed by a smirking Fellowship. "I guess you can't assign them to firewood anymore, eh, lad!" Gimli exclaimed to Aragorn. "Who knows what they might get up to!" Upon hearing this, you threw a well-aimed pinecone at him.

"What I really want to know now was who won the bet you had on us!" You exclaimed. "Wait, they were betting on us?" Legolas looked offended. "Weren't you paying attention," you questioned. "That's what they were talking about when Aragorn mentioned what happened last night!" "I was a little preoccupied with making sure the love of my life knew I loved her," he responded, making you blush. "Aragorn won thirty-five silver coins and I won thirty-two!" Sam announced. "And what did you win that for?" Legolas asked. "We were the only two that bet on Y/N confessing to her feelings first," Aragorn said. "I'm rather offended none of you thought I would have the courage, but it looks like those were some badly placed bets!" you directed these words at everyone who had bet against you. "Technically," Merry exclaimed, "you didn't!" "Yeah," Pippin continued, "it was a drunken confession! You can't control what you say when drunk!" At the accusation they hadn't won fairly, both Aragorn and Sam started arguing back, and the campsite quickly dissolved into chaos. You, pleased to have caused a little bit of trouble in return for all they had caused you, didn't care. You leaned back against Legolas with a sigh as he stroked your head, content to be in the arms of the one you loved.

Everything Tag: @itgetsatadhazy @boyruins @entishramblings

IMAGINE: Frodo falling in love with you but feels insecure about it

Pairing: Frodo Baggins x Reader

Requested: Yes (hi! first off, thanks for existing. I'd like to request a frodo x reader where the reader is a warrior of some kind, and he falls in love with them over the course of the journey but is maybe self conscious because he's just a hobbit? i don't know it's not a very well thought out request, we just need more frodo x reader in the world.) -Anonymous

Summary: Frodo can’t help but fall in love with you. But he’s very self conscious because he’s nothing more than an ordinary hobbit

Race is not specified, but you’re not a hobbit in this

You never learned of the existence of hobbits until the council meeting held at Rivendell. A hobbit named Frodo Baggins, a ring bearer, volunteered to take the ring to Mordor. This threw you off guard, you wanted to know how something as small as him managed to come across something so dangerous, but you pushed those wonderings aside.

Everybody made fun of you and Boromir, the warriors of the group, for being so fond of the hobbits. While he cared for Merry and Pippin, you often looked after Frodo and Sam, and you had to save Frodo more than Sam since Sam’s skills of smacking an enemy with his frying pan were pretty good.

Frodo began developing a crush on you, and he treated it like any other crushes he had before. Then, he remembered you two didn’t really balance out the way he would like to. You were much more taller and stronger than he will ever be, and while that did not change his feelings for you in any way, it started to make him feel a little insecure. You also may or may not have almost stepped on him one time. 

Then, he began falling in love with you, and that was where he totally didn’t know what to do anymore. A crush was nothing compared to this. That did not mean Frodo has never fallen in love before, but this was his first time falling in love with someone that’s not a hobbit and physically completely different to him. 

On one regular day, a day without encountering orcs, Frodo found some flowers he thought were beautiful, and hoped you would like them as well. Aragorn had assisted him in cutting the flowers for him, and he asked him why he needed them in the first place, but Frodo was too distracted he didn’t even hear Aragorn at all, so he walked over to you with the flowers.

You were sitting and admiring your sword, and you looked up to see Frodo holding a bouquet with a timid expression, and you frowned. You never liked seeing him so upset. “What is the matter, Frodo?” You asked, leaning over to him. He did not respond, but he handed you the bouquet and you gladly took it, examining it.

“These are quite interesting flowers, don’t you think? In a good way, of course.” It was not the kind of flowers people offered you, but it still looked really nice in it’s own way. You held on the flowers while Frodo sat next to you, still looking bothered. “You never answered my question, Frodo. I asked you what’s the matter. Though, you do not have to tell me if you don’t want to.” Frodo only shook his head at you. “Nothings wrong, I’m just, really nervous at the moment.”

“What are you nervous about, specifically?” You asked him. Frodo sighed. He hated lying to you, but he didn’t want to tell you every single detail. He’s not comfortable enough confessing to you at this moment, even though he knew he has to sometime. “I found someone.” He admitted, avoiding your gaze.

You nodded, understanding what he meant. “Back in the Shire?” You asked, and he bit his lip and nodded, basically lying to you. But it’s not like you can read minds, so you actually believed it and went along with it. “Tell me more about this lucky hobbit you admire.” You smirked, and he began rambling, making some stuff up, but also using some of your own traits he personally admired.

“...but even if I do return to the Shire alive, I can’t tell them.” He finished, making you look at him, confused. “And why can’t you tell them?” You asked. “Because they already have someone else. They were already with them before I started to love them. I can’t tell them, that’s wrong considering they have a lover already. There was never a chance, I was too late either way.” He lied, but he had a look of genuine sadness, because he was thinking about you. 

You saw his expression, and you immediately felt bad, so you pulled him in a hug to comfort him. “I’m truly sorry, Frodo, as I don’t know how to help, as much as I would like to. Of course, it may be best to leave it alone, you have to consider what they would think if you told them, even if you were completely comfortable to do so. But they are still your good friend, and if you can’t be with them, it doesn’t matter, because friendships completely matter too. It’s way better than nothing.” You pulled away looked at him in the eyes, softly grasping his shoulders, and he didn’t respond, only nodding at you, before walking away.

-

Frodo was not watching where he was going, so he accidentally bumped into someone, and looked up to meet eye contact with Legolas. “I’m sorry, Mister Legolas!” He apologized, embarassed. “It is completely all right, do not worry, Frodo.” Legolas reassured. Frodo started to walk past him, but then Legolas called for him, making Frodo look back at him.

“May I ask, what is going on between you and (Y/N)?” Legolas asked him, and Frodo began blushing uncontrollably. Frodo did not need to say anything else, as Legolas already knew. “Ah. You like them.” He assumed correctly. Frodo looked defeated, and Legolas placed a finger on Frodo’s chin and pulled up, making him look at him.

“You can trust me with this, Frodo, I promise you. I am not a child, I will not tell anyone else.” He told him, then placed a finger on his lips to represent him keeping it as a secret. Frodo nodded. “Don’t you think it’s wrong? I mean, I’m only a hobbit. They didn’t know we existed until the council meeting. We’re ants compared to them. Plus, they almost stepped on me one time, and I don’t doubt it might happen again.” He spoke his thoughts, managing to not look away from Legolas.

He pondered for a moment, wondering what to tell him. An idea then popped up in his mind. “Well, Frodo, 60 years ago, 13 Dwarves came in our realm uninvited, so we took them in as prisoners and kept them in our cells. I had a friend, an elf, at the time, we were close, and she befriended one of those 13 dwarves.” He began. Frodo had a feeling his Uncle Bilbo told him a story about 13 dwarves.

“Their imprisonment did not last long, a hobbit had stolen the cell keys and rescued them, then escaped by getting on barrels and falling to the lake,” Frodo definitely knew this story, he couldn’t help but smile.

“Anyway, my friend and I had captured an orc and we learned the dwarf she befriended got hit with a Morgul shot. She left to look for him, and I followed. We found him in Laketown when we were rescuing a family after an orc broke in their house. We actually did not expect to see him there, he was suddenly there, along with his brother and friends.”

“So before he could die from his wound, she healed him on time. He was somewhat lost in his thought, he did not realize she was there. He only thought he was having a good dream about her. Then she asked him if she could ever love him.”

“Then, they had to go their own ways. The dwarf had his own business, so he went with his brother and friends to reunite with the other dwarves that went on without them. She could not go with them, simply because his friends didn’t like her for being an elf. But, before he left, he gave her something to remember him by, in case they never see each other again.”

“My father, the king, was angry at the fact that she simply left the realm and wandered off on her own, so she was banished. But I did not return as I was supposed to, I chose to help her out.”

“When she saw him again later, he broke her bow and taunted her about her love for the dwarf, because she disagreed with his actions to leave the dwarves to die, making him realize she, an elf, began loving a dwarf. The Battle of Erebor began later, and she heard about the dwarf, he was fighting their biggest enemies, two orcs, Azog and Bolg. So she went off to help him.”

“One of the orcs had attacked her, hurt her to the point she couldn’t instantly get up. The orc took it’s chance and began the killing blow, but the dwarf came out of nowhere and saved her, beginning a fight between them. Unfortunately, the orc got the dwarf off guard, and stabbed him in the chest, mortally wounding him. And she was there, witnessing it the entire time.”

“He was dying, and now that they have reunited, she returned the promise he gave her, she no longer needed it. She didn’t need an item to remember him, he already held a special place in her heart. Just like that, he died in her arms. He was too hurt to be able to utter out any last words.”

After the story was finished, it was silent. Neither Frodo nor Legolas knew what to say next. Frodo already knew about the dwarf and his death, Bilbo told him about it. But he did not know he loved an elf. “And what happened to your friend?” Frodo asked after a while. “She sailed west, where all elves must go one day.” Legolas responded. 

“It doesn’t matter if you’re only a hobbit, Frodo. I have seen uncommon interracial relationships before. What matters is you let (Y/N) know.” Legolas advised, and Frodo nodded, his insecurity gradually leaving him, knowing of the major differences between a dwarf and an elf. Frodo nodded, thanked Legolas, then walked away.

-

The next time you talked to Frodo, he was in a slightly more cheerful mood, and you were glad he wasn’t looking so gloomy unlike the other day. He sat down next to you. “I’ve got something to tell you, (Y/N).” He said, and you glanced at him. “I lied to you the other day.” He confessed, and you gave him a confused look.

“What do you mean, Frodo? You told me a lot of things the other day.” You reminded him. “Oh. Right.” He mumbled, then remained silent. “You know you can tell me anything.” You reminded him. 

He glanced at you. “I think I really like you, (Y/N).” He admitted. A smile formed in your lips, then you thought for a while. “So the hobbit you were talking about, they were made up?” You questioned, and he nodded in confirmation. “Were you afraid of confessing to me?” You asked, and he nodded again, a slight blush forming in his cheeks.

“I just thought it was weird, I mean, you’re capable of defending yourself and protecting others, while I seem to be only a hindrance among you all.” He expressed, looking away. You gently cupped Frodo’s face and made him look at you. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? I like you too. And do not ever think of yourself as a hindrance only. You are important in this quest.”

His face lit up at hearing your confession. You leaned closer to him and kissed his forehead. When you pulled away, you did not fail to notice his wide smile. He was truly adorable to you.

When The Worlds Collide - VIII.

Kili x reader

Word count: 1605

Warnings: -

A/N: I know this chapter is coming out after more than a month, but I had no idea what to write, so now I can at least write futher, when I got the plot twist out.

MASTERLIST

Tags: @moony-artnstuff​ @whenputtingpentopaper​ @kumqu4t​

gif not mine

Later that evening, you told them about what you found. Most of them refused or didn’t wanted to believe that.

„Alright, listen!“ You rose your voice for the first time. They all stopped arguing and looked at you. You deeply inhaled.

„Look, it’s one possibility, but at least we have something,“ You looked over them. Most of them had shameful expression. You placed your notebook on the table.

„The night you appeared here, it was a new moon, which, according to astrology, means beginning. People should set their intentions in this time,“ You pointed towards a sketch of new moon you drew here.

„If you think about it, in Middle-Earth is magic and there could be some portal opened, or someone did something, and it resulted as you, coming here,“

„Here, we have no magic, at least not like you do, in general. Which wouldn‘t make a sense then, however, there can be some other  reasons why did it happened. It could work in a way, that different kinds of magic may get along, and some won’t, but this world in particular may work as a trespassing place or just ‚neutral‘, because there is no ‚magic‘ - in a way you know it,“ you quoted,

„So perhaps that’s why you are here,“ You added, slightly unsure of their reaction to it.

There was a silence, as if each of them tried to understand what was just said.

„Do you understand now, why do I need to know what you did on that particular day? It could help to you,“ You whispered. Thorin slowly looked up.

„It was on Durin’s Day,“ You blinked.

„It was a new moon, on Durin’s Day.“ Your eyes met blue orbs.

„Perhaps a day or two after,“ He added and you nodded with little smile. Then you frowned.

„Wait a moment,“ You quickly walked back to your library. An idea slipped through your mind and you pulled out two books.

„If this is working here...then why wouldn’t it worked this way...“ You murmured under your breath.

„What’s working?“ Fili and Kili asked, standing on either side of you, looking down at the books with a frowns on their faces. You didn’t said anything a took the books to the kitchen to explain. You placed the books down and pointed towards them.

„The author of your story – John Ronald Reuel Tolkien – was a good friend with author of The Chronicles of Narnia, Clive Staples Lewis, which is a different story, but written around the same time, they were talking about their books and worlds. Why wouldn’t these two worlds be connected? In the third book,“ You opened third book of The Chronicles of Narnia, Prince Caspian.

„When these four children went to Narnia for the first time, they spended twenty years here, but in their world, it was only a few hours. Then, when they returned to Narnia after a year - which passed in this world, but a thousand and six hundred years passed in Narnia. There isn’t really any rule of how long the time passes in Narnia. I believe it may be the same, or similar thing with Middle-Earth and this world,“ You looked at Gandalf, who nodded at you. You looked over Kili and Fili, and noticed Kili’s gaze, fixated on you. Not only because he loved you, but also because he knew this was important.

„If we think about it, as when it happened around Durin’s Day, and both here and in Middle-Earth was a new moon, meaning beginning, what if this was the first time the same phase happened in both worlds, at the same day, and some kind of...different magic got you here?“ You spoke with slightly nervous voice. Bilbo looked at you, worried. He understood you in a way, and him and everyone else knew, that this could help them with finding out how to get back. He stood up and carefully looked through your notebook with notes and sketches.

„So, if we got here on a new moon, meaning beginning, as you say, Y/N,“ You nodded.

„Then, what if the next new moon will, uh, help us to get back?“ You started thinking about it. Surely, that was possible. You looked out of the window.

„Lady Y/N talked about that thing with the time passing, so what if there’s a chance,“ the dwarves started talking,

„That more time has passed and the moons won’t collide in exact day,“ Legolas finished. You scrunched your face. There was something about it, an idea, slipping through your mind and coming back, playing with you, so you’d know it was there, but could not quite catch it.

„Well, maybe,“ Balin started, thinking about that idea. All eyes were on him, but that wasn’t his main concern,

„What if the time in Middle-Earth is passing more quickly, yes, but not that fast? And if there’s a lot more magic,“

„What if it would be possible to get here, even without the same moon phase?“

The whole room fell silent. Like, silent. As if everyone finally realized it could be true, and what more, they wouldn’t have to wait for another new moon or Durin’s day!

„We still need to figure out how to get there,“ Thranduil piped up. You nodded.

„Also the exact time. The timing might be more than important, perhaps more than the way how to get there.“ You whispered.

„There are two places we appeared at – the backyard, and in your house, Y/N,“ Fili piped up and you gave him a nod.

„We could look through these places, if we will find anything that could help us,“ said Bard. You felt suddenly so...hopeful. There was a way for them to go home, and you were about to find it.

Later that evening, when everyone went to bed, you stayed in the kitchen with a warm tea in your hands. You couldn’t fall asleep. There was way too much to think about.

One of those this way the bitter-sweet feeling. You got used to them all so much and you couldn’t imagine to go back to your life like it was. All stories they told you, days with talking about Middle-Earth, you teaching them about human culture and history of this world, it all felt too precious to be left and living your old life back.

Yours and Kili’s relationship was a whole another thing. You couldn’t imagine him leaving. You didn’t wanted to think about it earlier, but now it all fell on you. One part of you wanted to go with him, if it would be even possible. The other, however, thought about your friends and family in this world. There would be a chance that if you’d disappeared, suddenly, it would be weird, but if you’d tried to explain where you are going or where you went, people would think you were nuts.

Your mind drifted back to yours and Kili’s relationship. You knew he loved you, and you loved him too. You knew you’d follow him, deep down you knew you’d do it. That was what you wished for, wasn’t it? To meet them, court Kili, live in Middle-Earth...

Meanwhile, Kili and Fili were tossing around in their beds, and no sleep was coming to them. So, they gave up and decided to quietly talk about their possible way home.

„You know, Fili, I really wish Y/N will go with us, with me,“ Kili whispered.

„We will find a way, Kee, but this is a thing you two should talk about. She has a family and friends here, though she loves you. And this world is much more different. They notice if she’s missing,“ He remarked and Kili slowly nodded. He knew that, surely.

„You know what? I’ll go and drink something, I’m thirsty. I won’t wake you once I get back,“ He stood up.

He walked down the stairs and noticed that light was on, in the kitchen. He peeked inside.

„Amralime? Why aren’t you asleep?“ He asked and noticed the tears in your eyes when you looked up on him. He was quickly by your side.

„I-I just,“ you sobbed loudly.

„It’s-you will leave, and-“ He took a seat on the chair next to you and cupped your face with furrowed brows.

„Shh, amralime. Don’t worry, we will come up with something-“ You looked up at him and he kissed your lips softly.

„We will figure that out.“ A tear slipped down your cheek. He kissed both her cheeks, then her forehead, nose and temples.

„I want to go with you,“ You whispered.

„Amralime,“ He whispered and kissed you, again. Then, he pulled you to his lap, hugged you and kissed your temple, humming a quiet and soft melody. He placed his head on your shoulder, and you felt like everything fell into place, it felt so right, as if it was always supposed to be like that.

This is home, you thought.

It didn’t lasted too long though, before he placed your mug on the table and picked you up in his arms. You let out a yelp and he chuckled, then kissed your forehead.

„I’ll take you to bed, it’s late anyways,“ you opened your mouth to protest, but you just sighed when you realized it won’t do much, so you just turned off the light while passing the door.

When he placed you down to your bed and turned to leave, you catched his hand.

„Will you-will you stay with me?“ You whispered. He nodded and laid down to you, took you to his arms, and placed soft butterfly kisses on your face, until you fell asleep.

The Art of Being an Eldar: Legolas x Reader Chapter 5

Summary: After discovering that you were stuck in Middle-Earth, Thranduil summoned a council of powerful Elves and wizards to see what should be done with you, expressing his wishes of wanting you out of his kingdom. The council decides to send you with Legolas on an orc-hunting mission, and if the Elves of the company that he deems trustworthy-- one of them being his own wife-- say that you've proven yourself worthy of staying among the Mirkwood Elves, then you can stay. The problem is actually managing to succeed...

Chapter No.: Chapter 5

Key: [Y/N]=Your Name [F/N]= Friend's Name [B/N]= Bro's Name [S/N]= Sis's Name [M/N]= Mom's Name [e/c]= eye color [h/c]= hair color [s/c]= skin color [lad/lass/y-o]= lad/laddie, lass/lassie, young one

Notes:  I know I've been trying to keep this story gender-nuetral, but dwarves have a habit of referring to people (Even Gimli to Legolas, though he's a lot younger than our golden boy) as "lad/laddie" "lass/lassie." Or even "young one," I've heard Balin call Bilbo. So for this story, I'll just put [lad/lass/y-o] in parenthesese, and you can just hear whichever one you choose. :)

Warnings: Fluff, angst, graphic depictions of gore and violence (Cuz of orc battles y'know?), more angst, slow burn, some light depression in the first few chapters, some amnesia about Middle-Earth because the Valar say you're not supposed to have foresight, hard-core language, feels, lots and lots of feels, mentions of NSFW content, maybe some eventual NSFW content, LGTBQ+ characters, Thranduil being a jackass at first because he's fabulous, Legolas being a hot edgy prince that nobody can handle, Kili being an innocent bean, Hobbits being smol innocent beans, except for Bilbo 'cause he's been through some tough shit, Bard being dad of the year, Thorin being one dumbass boi, awesome dragons, awesome Nazgul, awesome scenery, awesome stuff in general, Elrond isn't listened to by anybody, confused Aragorn is confused,  Denethor's a bitch as always, brace yourself for creepy as fuck Cream of Wormtongue Grima Wormtongue, Boromir LIVES, Gandalf. (yes these are all legit warnings don't judge me.)

Pairings/Ships: Legolas x Reader, Legolas x you, Aragorn x Arwen, Faramir x Eowyn, Thranduil x Elvenqueen, Galadriel x Celery Celeborn, Boromir x OC, Thorin x OC maybe Bilbo you won't know for awhile, Fili x OC, etc. general LoTR standard shippings plus some of my own cuz I can't stand my boys being lonely

Word Count: I try to keep my chapters short, under 2000 words.

Rating: Teen (14+) for now

The Elves stopped just outside the northern border of the Mirkwood, to the west, to wait for the dwarves. But apparently the little guys just didn't give a shit.

The whole group camped for three days, then three more days, and by the end of it, you were even growing impatient. It was mainly the younger Elves that shared your impatience, but Elves like Elvenqueen and Erestor and Haldir seemed to think that they had all the time in the world, la la fucking la...

Legolas seemed in-between, irritated at the dwarves for being so late but not really caring in the long run. You tried several times to approach him and apologize, but he always seemed to disappear at the most inconvenient times imaginable.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity-- you were getting sick and tired of frolicking-- the sign of a camp on a distant ridge, a couple of days away, gave the Elves hope that the dwarves finally got their heads out of their asses and decided to show up. A couple of Elves seemed to puff some horses out of thin air, and galloped off to meet them.

"We get horses?!" You'd screeched, and wheeled on your friends-- Tauriel hadn't come, so Lindir, Elros, and pissy Blue-Eyes were the only actual friends here you had, even though all the other Elves were very nice to you. "Why the fuck didn't anybody tell me we got horses?!" You could've been riding to pass this time. Not that you knew how to ride a horse, but that wasn't the point.

Elros blinked at you in disbelief. "Those Elves awaited us on the border with horses enough for all. You have not seen them before?"

"No, dammit, or I would've been riding to pass the time!" You hadn't noticed them, because a certain Rivendell Elf had forced you to learn Elvish... You rounded on him. "Lindir! If you hadn't made me sit here and learn Elvish, I could've been riding!"

Lindir stared at you, then slowly raised an eyebrow challengingly. "You do not know how to ride, do you?"

You frowned. "That's not the point!"

Both Elros and Lindir chuckled amongst themselves. You huffed theatrically. "Fine, jackasses. I'm off to pet one of those sweet animals. You can teach me Elvish later."

Before either of them could stop you, you all but ran off, hoping not to slam into anybody or trip or cause something to fall that'd cause a huge mess. You were prone to all of them. And there were horses, enough for everybody there, and three very fat ponies that you almost started squealing over. Those, you guessed, were for the dwarves.

But one horse, out of all of them, caught your eye.

A sleek, gorgeous black, with a bright white star on his forehead. He was built for speed, like a racehorse, but he was sturdy, too. You looked for something to mark him as belonging to a certain Elf-- because you knew Elves loved horses, and that like all horse people, even look at their horse wrong and you make it on their kill list-- but they all seemed randomly selected out of somebody's stables, dressed in the same dark leather tack and saddlebags.

"Oooooh," You approached him quietly, and he nickered softly at you, his dark eyes scanning you and the Elves and the other horses warily. He seemed only recently tamed. "You, fine sir, are gorgeous."

"I beg your pardon?"

You promptly fell backward. Shit! Talking horses, too?! "What the fuck?!"

Legolas, with a smug smirk plastered onto his absurdly perfect face, sailed into existence from around a dapple gray mare. "Valar tell me you were talking to the horse."

"No, I can tell you I was talking to the horse," You sighed in relief, shaking your head as you stood. "But don't worry your platinum head, Goldie, all Elves are equally beautiful creatures."

Legolas rolled his eyes. "Whatever you say, mellon."

You stroked the black's face gently. "No seriously though, he's beautiful. Does he have a name?"

Blue-Eyes didn't look up from brushing his mare's mane. "Most of the horses came from Rivendell and Rohan, which they bought on the journey. The rest came from the Woodland stables. I doubt you will find his name, if he has one."

You felt a little disappointed that you couldn't ask if you could have the horse. You'd always wanted one, but for... Personal reasons that had to do with your biological father, you never got one. "Well... I'll just refer to him as The Black, then."

Blue-Eyes turned around, and started inspecting his tack. "Hm... He seems to have come from our own stables." He stroked behind the stallion's ears, and the horse snuffed appreciatively.

"Legolas," You said quickly, realizing you should catch him when you have the chance. "I'm sorry for not telling you about me leaving if this didn't go well. It wasn't my choice; Thranduil wanted me to go with Elrond that day, but I asked if I could stay. He sent me on this mission to see if I was worthy enough to stay in his Palace of Fabulous. I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but... I didn't think anyone would care if I left."

Blue-Eyes got a confused look. "Why... Why would you think that?"

You gave him a sad, lopsided smile. "No one has before."

Recognition, then regret, flashed across Blue-Eyes's face. "Oh, Sairen... I am truly sorry, mellon nin, I should not have been angry with you. I didn't realize... I should have, and I should not have been upset with you. I just... I do care if you leave, and, if I'm honest, I do not want you to go."

You patted his shoulder. "Just so long as you forgive me."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "Of course, mellon, if you can forgive me."

You grinned. "Forgiven." You nudged him with your shoulder. "I'm just glad we're friends again. I've never had so many people be nice to me, but only a handful of you I consider my friends."

"And who among us hold that honor?" He asked teasingly.

Oh shit... You'd seen movies where somebody's asked this question, and if the askee shows even the slightest bit of hesitation or interest in any of the friends, asker became pissed and/or jealous. Wait... Why do I care about that? You turned to him with a huge smile. "Well you and Tauriel, DUH, and then there's Lindir and Elros now. Just wait, I'll be friends with Haldir and Erestor too, and then your mom-- by the time I'm finished I'll even make your dad like me!"

Legolas chuckled. "I hope so, mellon."

"By the way," You said, and reached down to grab a handful of grass to give to the Black. "Lindir and Elros are trying-- and failing-- to teach me Elvish. I'm a horrible student, namely because I'm Elvish-challenged. Still, I'm learning, and I want you to teach me something very specific."

He looked confused. "What?"

You smiled. "Teach me the history of Middle-Earth! Everything you can! I can't read Elvish, but you can, and you know the stories pretty well, I'm guessing. So start with how the world began and continue on from there."

Legolas smiled. "Very well, Sairen." In one quick movement, he mounted his mare, then reached down for your hand. "Come. We will ride, and I will tell you all that I know."

You took his hand, feeling a spark from static you'd built up from petting the horse. He hefted you effortlessly up behind him, then urged his horse into a canter as you rode away from camp.

***

Needless to say, you fell off twice.

Once, you let go of Legolas for just a second as his mare jumped a small log, and whoops, there you go. After, still not learning your lesson, you let go of him while trotting beside a river and the horse's gait made you slide right off before you even realized what was happening.

Then you learned not to let go of Blue-Eyes, mostly because he laughed his Elvish ass off every time you fell, after making sure you were okay.

As for world history, it was all very confusing. There were like six different versions of somebody and a hundred different other guys shared the same name and places and descendants and confusing time periods and just ugh. That was one thing you remembered from Earth: Tolkien's works had always been confusing.

Long story short, though, there was a guy called Eru, or Illuvatar, and he created a bunch of friends through thought. These friends of his became the Valar, and Illuvatar created the whole universe-- Ea-- through more thought. Then he had all his friends-- fourteen of them-- sing, and they created the vision of Valinor, then Arda, and the mischief-maker was Melkor, brother of god-king Manwe.

Now, after a long bout of building and making and stuff they created Valinor and Tirion and Mandos and all that, and they created birds and beasts, but Melkor got jealous and tried to ruin it at every fucking turn. Seriously, the guy didn't give them a break.

Then, Aule, another Valar, who made a lot of shit, wanted to have a bunch of kids so created the little guys known as dwarves, and made them to be especially tough and hardy and stuff because they were supposed to be around during the time of Melkor. But, Illuvatar appeared in his living room one night and said "I think the fuck not my kids come first" which made Aule reeeaaaaaallly upset, so he tried to kill the dwarves (Supreme parenting 2.0!), but then Illuvatar said "wait idiot they can still live" so Aule put them in stasis-mode for like several million years, until somebody "accidentally" unleashed some new Elves into Middle-Earth-- which had no moon or sun.

So duh Orome shows up, says "hi" and everybody runs for their lives except for a few brave souls, who round everybody back up. So three particular Elves, Finwe, Lenwe, and Ingwe, who you're pretty sure were brothers, went to Valinor with Orome to see if it was suitable for Elves-- and it was pretty much Elven paradise, or Vegas or something.

THUS CAME THE FIRST SUNDERING OF THE ELVES, or, that's how dramatically Leggy told it; the Teleri came to rest on the shores of Aman instead of going still further (Who earlier had split further and some became the Sindar, who had stayed in Beleriand, and the Silvan Elves, who'd stayed in the forests of Beleriand or something, of which Blue-Eyes was the first.), the Nandor who got scared of mountains and refused to go further, and the Noldor, who came all the way to Valinor.

Once actually in Aman, the Elves loved it there. They were in paradise. Water. Books. Flowers. Sparkles. Everything an Elf dreamed of. They built a city on a huge hill called Tirion upon Tuna (No you refrained from laughing.), made of silver and gold and more sparkles, and there was lots of peace, until Melkor was finally caught and chained.

Peace, lots of peace, boring shit, more peace, then BAM, the idiot Valar let the bastard go, like dumbasses. Melkor hadn't changed of course, no one does. He started rumors like some crazy gossiper and started up a whole bunch of shit. At that time, this guy called Feanor was around. He was like, the Elf of Elves, but he had some breathtaking anger management issues because after his mom died, his dad waited like a couple thousand years then got married again, and he definitely did not like his stepmom.

Or his two half-brothers.

They were pretty cool guys, Fingolfin and Finarfin, and each brother had like a dozen kids each, one of Finarfin's, get this, was Galadriel. One of Thingol's kin? Celeborn. Elrond? Yeah, he's the grandson of Beren and Luthien, the son of Earendil, raised by Maglor, related to Turin, and his grandparents were Tuor and Idril, the latter of which was the daughter of Turgon, who was the son of Fingolfin, who was the brother of Feanor, so yeah.

Holy fucking shit. Their god stories were kinda hard not to believe when people still existed who could vouch for them.

So this Feanor guy created a trio of sparklies beyond all sparklies, called, the Silmarils. He got a mild case of dragonsickness, boasting and hoarding and showing off and gloating, but Melkor made him think his brothers were trying to steal his sparkles, which, fuck no, how dare they, and he made his brothers think that Feanor was trying to usurp their father Finwe's throne.

Damn that guy knew how to stir up some shit.

One of Melkor's chief servants? Sauron, the Dark Lord, previously known as Sauron the Sparkly Maiar Who Wouldn't Hurt A Butterfly. Balrogs? Yup, Melkor made them, too.

Basically, Feanor started a revolution against the Valar and Melkor, who he called Morgoth, because Melkor was just too pretty of a name for such a bad guy, who stole every single light with the help of a hideously large spider called Ungoliant, killed Finwe, then took the Silmarils.

Feanor was piiiiiiissed.

So the Noldor left Tirion, killed some guys that tried to reason with them that turned out to be Elves, the Teleri, got cursed by Mandos, then Feanor, his sons, and a couple hundred who he knew didn't question him set off on stolen boats and burned them when they reached shore, leaving everybody else-- Galadriel included-- to walk the fucking Helcaraxe, a snowy strait wasteland, to get to Beleriand, which was filled with sparkling twinkle-toes Elves and much-less-serious dwarves-- who were friends.

There was also a good portion of the story dedicated to Turin, Beren and Luthien, and the couple known as Maedhros and Fingon, who you instantly adored: Maedhros, chained to a jagged cliffside for who-knows-how-long, and Fingon, who wanted so badly to save him, and eventually carried up to the cliffside by an eagle; he had to cut off Maedhros's hand, but the story was so heartfelt you were still internally squealing about it.

Yeah so that happened, and then a bunch of war and slaying and something about a Fall of Gondolin and the Children of Hurin and Beren and Luthien leading up to a whole lot of human-caused shit with Numenor, and then Illuvatar blew everything up and restarted, essentially. Toward the end of the second age, Sauron (The fucker had somehow lived through all that evil-cleansing shit.), in the form of a fancy-prancy Elf named Annatar, suggested the making of the Rings of Power. Three, a smart guy who hadn't fallen for any of Annatar's shit, Celebrimbor, hid for the Elves, while Sauron/Annator helped forge the rest in order to control them, making one ring, above all.

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,

Seven for the dwarf  lords in their halls of stone,

Nine for mortal men doomed to die,

And one for the Dark Lord on his Dark Throne,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them,

In the land of Mordor where the shadows lie.

That was totally cool and stuff, and a handful of well-known Elves-- Gil-Galad, Glorfindel (Who'd uh, previously died due to a balrog trying to touch his hair.), Elrond-- and you're betting Galadriel, Celeborn, and Thranduil-- plus a bunch of well-known humans, lead by Isildur's dad, Elendil, and probably some dwarves, all came together with their armies and formed the Last Alliance of Elves and Men, totally discounting every dwarf that was there.

The nine kings who'd been given rings? Yeah, those were cursed, and because Men are greedy, they became shadows of their former selves, black-clad servants of Sauron, known as the Ringwraiths-- or, even cooler, Nazgul.

So there was a huge battle. Gil-Galad fell. Isildur's dad fell. Isildur cut off the One Ring from Sauron's hand, Sauron faded away, and Elrond took Isildur into Mount Doom to destroy the Ring. But he was weak, and was seduced by its power, and Elrond just stood there screaming his name apparently.

So there'd been roughly a couple thousand years of peace, and nobody knew where the Ring was. You doubted it was anywhere safe or secure, and much less that Sauron was actually dead.

Also, the Elves were fading. That scared you.

"What?! Great, I got sucked into a world where I'm just gonna die!"

Legolas laughed. "No, mellon nin, we are fading. Not dying. We just long for home, and our kind is slowly leaving Middle-Earth. This world becomes gray to us after so long of living here. We go across the sea, to the Undying Lands of Aman and Valinor."

"Okay," You leaned around him to see his face. "What is it with you Elves and the sea?! What's so important about it, if even you've never seen it yourself?! I certainly haven't seen any kind of ocean or sea."

Blue-Eyes smiled at you. "The first sound ever heard by the Elves was flowing water. It calls us home, in a way. It is said by my people that in water there yet lives the echo of the Music of the Ainur that first created this world."

"Huh," You said, tilting your head. "Guess that does make it really interesting..."

The sound of another pair of hoofbeats, coming up from behind, nearly made you fall off of the horse again. "Orcs?!"

Blue-Eyes grinned smugly. "Orcs do not ride horses, Sairen."

"Duh. I knew that. Fuck you."

"I'd rather you not without my consent."

"That's not always what it means!" You hid your blush by moving so your head was behind his back. Damn Elves...

It was Erestor, riding a gorgeous flaxen stallion. "Legolas, Elvenqueen calls upon the company of [Y/N]."

Nervously, you peered around Blue-Eyes's side. "Is that bad?"

Legolas spurred his own mare into a canter as he followed after Erestor. "Not in the least, mellon."

When you returned to camp, Erestor and Legolas took care of the horses, while they sent you on ahead-- by yourself, to a scary yet badass Elvenqueen you might glare you out of existence if you breathed wrong, like the wonderful friends they were-- to the Elvenqueen.

She sat by one of the center campfires, surrounded by a drove of Elves eagerly listening to whatever she was saying. Even in the firelight, she looked really young, but really regal and noble and even though she didn't have a wrinkle on her body you could tell she'd been around for eons.

All went silent when you approached. Nervously, you bowed. "Y-you wished to see me, your majesty?"

"Yes," She said, and waved to a place on a log across from her. "Sit."

You weren't terrified or anything. Just 'cause she decided not to skin you alive a couple days ago didn't mean she couldn't change her mind. You caught a glimpse of Elros in the crowd, and he gave you a reassuring nod: Don't worry, you won't die yet.

Comforting.

"Tell something of your world," She said.

You balked. Hadn't Thranduil told her everything you'd said? They seemed like the type of couple to do just that. Hadn't Legolas at least given her some information? They seemed close. You swallowed hard, readjusting yourself on the log. "What uh... What do you want to know?"

She thought for a second. "A tale."

You shifted. Sure, that was specific. You'd read billions of books (Well, maybe not quite that much...), but you couldn't remember any that Elves would want to hear aside from series’, like Temeraire, or The Gospel of Loki, or Eon the Last Dragoneye. Maybe you could use a movie, but Marvel and Transformers were too long and in-depth. You thought for a minute. You didn't even know how to give a much-shortened version of Eragon.

But out of everything, it was your best bet to tell a story and be safe from explaining your world's past, or things of your world, or cultures, mythology, or the concept of giant robots from another planet that hide by transforming into cars. Eragon was the closest thing you had to Lord of the Rings that you could remember right off the top of your head that was most similar; it had some of the same beasts, like dragons and werewolves, it was set in the same genre and had dwarves and Elves and Men, even if urgals were a new one... Then again, you weren't sure how they'd take dragons being good instead of hoarding assholes.

So, you got started.

As a hobby, you wrote a lot of fanfiction, which had mainly been for Lord of the Rings; you couldn't remember any of it now, of course, but you'd also started your own fantasy stories that had never been published. You were good with storytelling.

There were points where you had to pause and remember what happened next, or try to find words that explained the guilt or sadness or general feels of the story, but you did pretty good. By the time you were finished, the sun had came up and it was already noon, and the Elves that'd gone off to see if that camp was for dwarves were coming back, with a couple of pony-sized rams with shaggy coats carrying three tiny buff hairy guys.

Elvenqueen regally stood. "My thanks, [Y/N]. That was a wonderful story." She sailed through the ranks of the Elves, which parted before her like reeds to a boat.

"Is that a true story?" Lindir asked you, eyes wide.

You scoffed. "If it were true, I'd've had a dragon named Saphira or Shruikan. I have no dragon." You clapped your hands together. "So! When do I get to meet the dwarves?"

Blue-Eyes-- who'd joined later in the story, and another Elf caught him up on what was going on while he half-listened to what else was going on-- mockingly rolled his eyes. "Patience, mellon. I cannot think of any Eldar whom would willingly want to make the acquaintance of a dwarf."

You gave him a pointed look. "What about Thingol's people?"

Silence. Finally, Elros busted out laughing, and clapped the now-stunned Legolas on the back. "They have a point, mellon!"

But Blue-Eyes was right. It was only a couple hours before you were sought out by a Lothlorien Elf, who told you Thorin wanted to meet "the one who hailed from far." Apparently, nobody here felt like saying "the person that came from another planet." Not as mysterious, apparently.

So you followed the Elf to a tent, much smaller than those of the Elves, and a lot less colorful and, dare you say it, fashionable. Literally, it just looked like a bunch of old dark-colored blankets had been stitched together haphazardly. But, if you looked at the tools and tack of the rams, they were just doing it in spite of the Elves, because they had really good craftsmanship.

You weren't sure what to do. "Uhhh... Knock knock?"

You belatedly remembered one of the dwarves was royalty. "Sirs?"

The flap of the tent opened, and you got your first look at a dwarf.

He was an older dwarf, with a long graying beard and frizzy hair, and huge round ears. He looked you up and down in a brief but kind inspection, and, came to the very educated conclusion of, yup, not your normal Elf.

The dwarf smiled. "Ah, you must be [Y/N]." He sounded more Scottish than anything, and you were instantly relaxed. "The one from a far place. Not a normal Elf, then?"

You shook your head. "No sir. Just got here about a month and a half ago, actually."

He raised a hand. "Now now, we are all a part of this expedition, and I don't like being referred to as 'sir.' I am Balin to you."

You couldn't help but smile. He was a lovable little guy, a very sweet old dwarf. "Okay then. But, uh... Should I call Thorin or Dwalin 'sir'?"

Balin thought about that. "Ehhh... Thorin, yes. Dwalin? No."

You nodded, and Balin lead you inside the tent. It was pretty cozy, with three logs covered in roughish furs for makeshift beds. A small cooking fire was set up in the middle, and two other dwarves sat by it, halting their dwarvish conversation when they seen you and Balin. "This is they," Said Balin, in an introductory way. "[Y/N], child of [M/N], from far places."

The dwarf who you assumed was Dwalin-- buff, sleeveless, and with viscious muttonchops that made him look like Wolverine-- scoffed. "Tell me," Holy shit, he sounds like Leonidas from 300! "[Y/N], do you perhaps come from the Iron Hills?"

"Iron... What?" You were confused. Hadn't any of the Elves talked about you being from Earth? "N...No. I come from a place called Earth."

"Dwalin," Said the other guy, who radiated kingship, authority, and regal dwarfish-ness. He didn't take his eyes off you, like you were a predator ready to strike that he was wary of. He had a beard, but braided neatly down, and long dark hair. He wore dark navy blue and brown fur armor, and his voice was like, super deep. "They are not of the Iron Hills."

"Uh... Thank you?"

Thorin stood, and you bowed. "I'd uh, use some really respectful greeting, but I don't know any in dwarvish yet, so, it's an honor to meet you, Thorin, son of Thrain."

Thorin nodded. "I would say the same, if I knew you deserved any honor," He replied. Ouch.

You didn't know what to say. He obviously had no love for Elves. "What uh... What made you think I was from the Iron Hills, wherever that is?"

"To the east of Erebor, [lad/lass/y-o]," Balin informed you, and Dwalin whacked him so hard upside the head you could've swore they broke something.

"Oh. What made you think--"

Thorin looked at you with a look that said stfu so you did. "The dwarves of Erebor think little of Elven magic, or wizards. We did not believe a portal strong enough to pull someone from another world could exist. And as I have discovered, it does not."

You were confused. "What do you mean? You mean the ears? Those were latex, I swear, but suddenly they weren't. You can ask Thranduil, I'm not from these parts."

Thorin glared at you. "I would rather not converse with the Elvenking. He does not hear the word of others. As for you... It is clear you are merely an Elf of strange upbringing, who lost themselves in the wrong woods."

"Okay," You were starting to get irritated. You loved Middle-Earth, but you weren't from Middle-Earth. You didn't belong, like always, and you were ready to defend your position. In Game of Thrones--you'd never gotten far in that series, and had only started the books-- Tyrion Lannister told Jon Snow to armor himself in what people thought his weakness was, so that it would no longer be his weakness. That's exactly what you'd done over the course of your life, and you weren't about to lose that now. "Listen, I can show you the damn portal. It wasn't made by Elves, or wizards, or any of that other shit. The inscription on the portal came from the time of Gondolin, if that means anything to you. Do I talk like an Elf, to you? Do I act like one? The Elves were ready to kill me, just because I breathed wrong near their damn trees after being chased by orcs on oversized dogs. If I weren't from another world, do you honestly think I'd have such elaborate stories?"

Behind Thorin, Balin patted his hands down, giving you the silent signal to shut up. Glacing at Thorin's pissed off face made you listen. "How am I to believe you?"

You made a face. "Don't you dwarves have any kind of lie-detecting abilites?"

Balin sighed. "None that we can think of, [lad/lass/y-o]."

You huffed in defeat. "Okay, okay, you know what? You dwarves are beyond stubborn, so I'll just tell you once: I come from another world. If you don't believe me, fine, but I'd actually like to make friends with dwarves, thank you very much."

"Oh!" Dwalin chuckled deeply. "Then they must not be an Elf, Thorin! None in their right mind would go cavorting with a dwarf!"

Thorin frowned. "Perhaps a spy... But wait... You are not of the Woodland Elves. I see that now."

You looked down at yourself. "Gee, what gave it away?"

"You carry yourself differently," He began to circle you, and you felt like you were being circled by a vulture. An angry vulture... "Most unlike them, or any Elf I have heard tale of. Whom were you raised by?"

"Uh, my mother," You quipped with a cocked eyebrow. "Her name is [M/N]."

"And where do your kin reside? With the Rangers of Dúnadain?"

"With the what? Is that some kind of club?"

"Club?" Thorin repeated. "You believe that to be a weapon?" He gave you a disbelieving look, and you sighed.

"No, no. Where I come from, a club is a group of people that gather together and talk about stuff they like, or try to run the schools or shit like that," You were trying to explain with excessive hand movements, but you only seemed to be freaking him out.

He narrowed his eyes. In a rough and rusty language that sounded like it could be dwarvish, he said something; you didn't even catch any of the words.

You stared at him blankly for a second. "Mae g'ovannen...?" You tried, wincing at your hopeless pronunciation of the words.

Thorin regarded you with a newfound look of awe. Behind him, Dwalin chuckled. "That, was his attempt at Elvish. And you did not understand what he said?"

You stared. "...No? Was I supposed to? Did you just say something important? Or insult me? Hey, I'm only just starting to learn Sindarin!"

Thorin's look of awe shifted to a scowl and a bitter smirk. "It was not Sindarin, I can assure you. It was Quendi, that of the Noldor, the only Elvish my people know."

"Quen-- Oh, I get it now. Different Elves, different languages, it's all coming together..." You swung your arms casually. "Ok, so, what'd you say?"

"I told you that you are an imposter, and no better than Orc-filth" Said Thorin absentmindedly, "Which would send any Elf into a fit of well-groomed rage."

You couldn't help yourself. You burst into a fit of giggles, making all three dwarves look at you weirdly. "I-I'm sorry," You wheezed, "'Well-groomed rage'; yeah, that's pretty much what they do!"

"What of this quest, then?" Challenged Thorin as he took a seat. He gestured for you to do the same. "If you are not of the Wood Elves, yet you are indeed Elven, why are you on this journey? What purpose do you have here?" He poured you a drink; you'd never really tasted ale or mead of any kind, and recoiled from the smell.

"In order for you to understand, I'd have to tell you the story," You told him, and he gestured for you to continue. So you did. "I fell from the highest branches of an oak tree playing a game with my family. It was a standard day. Standard, pointless life. A life in a dying world that was way too fucking overpopulated, in the wrong damn places. It was a twisted kind of home. I didn't like it, and did what I wanted, so people hated me. I was dressed as an Elf--hence the ears.

"I wake up in the middle of the night, still in the forest, and am suddenly being chased by orcs on the backs of oversized dogs with six-packs on their faces."

Thorin grew confused. "Six-pack? What is that?"

You patted your stomach. "Those rows of six square tight muscles you get on you stomach if you work out. Now lemme finish!

"I get caught up in a river, shot by an arrow, and am half-dead by the time the Elves arrive lead by Blue-Eyes-- uh, Legolas-- and they're ready to kill me, but because I'm pretty much dead and in their forest, I'm some kind of threat. Because they're real nice like that. Thranduil-- who I kindly refer to as, Lord Fabulous-- wanted Leggy to kill me on the spot. Blade to my neck and everything. Until I pointed out that I could go home if we found the portal and would never return by pain of death. Ouch, but whatever.

"So we look, find it, and surprise! Can't get through. Can never see my family again. Can never go home. Suddenly I'm a real Elf. I go into a kind of depression before I realize that this place was a fictional world from where I'm from, which I'd loved, but for some reason can't remember shit now." You pointed to him. "Your name is important. Very. I know that much. You do something really cool, probably.

"But the Council of Wisdomy Guys was summoned, and they decided that it would be best if I proved my worthiness to stay among the Wood Elves on this mission. No pressure!" You grinned maniacally. "What brings you here? I hear a certain gray-robed wizard?"

"Ah, yes," He sighed. "Gandalf. My father met with him whilst I was in the depths of Erebor, so I heard no word of it and could make no protest against it until my father told me that I was to travel with two of my choice to assist the Elves. I only tolerate this for my father's sake, and he claims this will be a good lesson for kingship one day. But when I heard word of someone from foreign lands, I feared it was the dwarves of the Iron Hills attempting some form of scheme. Never have they liked us, and they never shall."

You scoffed. "Yeah, well... Most of the Elves may not like you either, but some of them aren't so bad."

Dwalin choked on his bread. Balin gave you a sad look. "But they tried to kill you!"

You shrugged. "I'm used to getting awful treatment. And besides, now that they know me, I've made some friends. Tauríel, the Captain of the Guard; Lindir of Rivendell, and Elros son of Elrond... And then there's Blue-- Legolas."

"Why d'ya refer to him that way?" Dwalin demanded with a disgusted look.

You shrugged. "A nickname. Where I come from, it's a gesture of friendship. I call Lindir 'Lindy' and he hates it, I can tell."

Thorin snorted. "Well, [Y/N] of Earth... Should the Wood Elves refuse your company, Dale might make a nice, temporary placement until you find elsewhere."

You smirked, nodding slowly. "I heard that emphasis on temporary. Don't worry; I thank you for your hospitality, but Lord Elrond is staying at the palace until I return. If I fail, he'll take me back to Rivendell with him."

"Good. One less Elf on our borders to deal with."

"Oh screw off."

Thorin grinned bitterly, but waved a hand. "Begone, I am done with questioning you."

You scoffed, and Dwalin took your drink and guzzled it. to your shock and amazement. Out of the three of them, only Balin wished you a goodnight.

But you weren't tired, which you realized as you found yourself heading back toward the horses. "[Y/N]," Said a familiar voice, and you turned to see Haldir striding toward you.

You bowed, suddenly recognizing him as somebody of high rank. "Mae l'ovannen, Haldir of Lothlorien. What's up?"

He blinked in confusion. "I..." He slowly looked up. "Believe the stars..."

You chuckled. "No, no; that's an expression, where I come from. It means how are you doing, what is it you need, nice to see you, etcetera etcetera."

He stared at you. "...'Et... Cetera...?'"

You slumped over. "Oi... It means a general list of similar meanings that're implied but nobody feels like saying."

Haldir smiled. "Oh, I see. Lindir wished for you to return, so that you could continue your lessons in Sindarin." He didn't miss your look of disappointment. He smirked. "Perhaps, when you are finished with Sindarin, and already know Common, Quenyan would be best for you to learn."

"Pfft," You waved a hand. "I'll live forever. Might as well. I'll toss some dwarvish in there while I'm at it."

Haldir made a face. "I suppose that is up to you, but every dwarf speaks Common, so it would not pose any form of language barrier for that to be avoided..."

*** You were woken up no later than the crack of fucking dawn, by an elaborate blowing of horns that probably alerted ninety-seven percent of the orcs of the northern borders to your presence, but oh what the hell.

What else you woke up to?

"Galu, mellon nin," Said Legolas with a shit-eating grin. "Ci maer?"

Slowly, your groggy eyes went from wide to thin, angry slits. "...I swear to the Valar, Blue-Eyes... I just fucking woke up. What are you saying? Speak in Common, or I'll tear you limb from limb because I am not a morning person."

He gave you a look, but couldn't wipe the smile off his face. "Le leich, Sairen. But if you are going to learn Elvish, then you must actually try to do so. Tell me, what did I say?"

You shrugged and slumped over onto a log. "Grapefruit, melons win, kid mobster."

Blue-Eyes chuckled, but internally, you busted out laughing after realizing what you said. "No, [Y/N], you have to do this. Concentrate. What did I say?"

With a sigh, you thought about Lindir's grueling lessons with you yesterday. "...You said, 'A blessing,' which is basically 'hi,' first; Galu. Then you said 'my friend,' and, 'are you well.'"

Blue-Eyes nodded, looking excited that you were getting the hang of Elvish. "Excellent. Now respond to me in Sindarin."

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. In the most unenthusiastic tone you could muster, you said, "Galu, Legolas, ni maer. A gin?" Blessings, Legolas, I am well. And you?

"Ni maer," He replied, then began polishing his bow. "Worry not, Sairen, soon Sindarin will come to you thoughtlessly. You already swear to our gods, instead of your own."

You did roll your eyes this time. An idea hit you. "Hey..." You looked at him with a huge smirk. "What's fuck you in Elvish?"

Legolas paled, then blushed. "You will learn how to speak intimately to another later--"

You huffed. "NO! What's your most offensive insult?!"

Blue-Eyes thought for a minute. "...Ego, which is the equivalent to what you mean when you proclaim that Common phrase of yours... Hopefully, most of the time."

You bit back a laugh. "...Eggo? As in, L'eggo my eggo?"

Blue-Eyes gave you a concerned look. "I... I am not sure what you mean, and it is not pronounced as you say it."

Commotion started up, and you spun around in your seat wildly to try and see why everybody was suddenly moving and packing up. "What's goin' on?"

Legolas smiled. "Well, Sairen, we are off to track the orcs."

You looked at him in a panic, pointing futilely to an Elf packing up the cooking supplies. "B-but... What about breakfast?" That sentence reminded you of someone... Someone small and innocent and prone to causing disasters... But who? Blue-Eyes didn't give you time to figure it out.

"You will not starve, mellon nin," He told you gently, and stood. "You are an Eldar now; you'd best learn what your body can do now rather than later." He smiled down at you. "Dadwenithon."

As if you understood what that meant, he practically skipped away. "...Dad marathon?" You repeated in disbelief. You got up and went to find somebody you knew, preferably not the Elvenqueen, Erestor, Haldir, or Thorin, because they'd just find you childish, or annoying. Elros was quick to find, and you approached him and his palomino steed with a very confused expression.

"Hey Elros?"

Elros looked up from brushing his horse's mane and smiled. "Ai, len suilon, mellon nin. Ci maer?"

You rolled your eyes. Stupid Elves and their five hundred different ways to say 'hi...' "Galu, Elros. Ni maer, a gin?"

"Ni maer eithro. What brings you to my company?"

"What the hell does dad marathon mean?"

Elros froze and looked at you like you were crazy. "I beg your pardon?"

You gestured wildly over your shoulder. "Legolas got up, walked away, and said dad marathon! And I've got no idea what he said!"

Elros grinned knowingly. "Ai,Legolas said dadwenithon. It means, roughly, I will return." He gave you a disgusted look. "And that is not how it is pronounced at all."

"Oh. Dadwenithon?"

Elros smiled proudly. "Yes! Precisely! Well done! But if Legolas told you he would return to you, evidently he meant for you to stay where you were."

Your eyes bugged out of your head. "Oh. I'll be going, then. Novaer." You didn't realize you'd said an Elvish farewell until you'd reached where you'd originally been seated, but that jumped out of your head when you seen Legolas waiting with his dappled mare and the black stallion (Heh heh...) from yesterday.

"Ooh! What's this all about?"

"I decided you should have your own mount throughout the course of this journey," He replied with a smile. "He is yours for now. Name him as you will, and by the end of this journey, I shall see if you may keep him."

You stared at him like he'd just grown a second head. "Wh... What? Keep him?"

Legolas smiled. "Surely you would wish to ride at will throughout the northern parts of Mirkwood?"

A huge smile spread across your face, and you excitedly spread your hands. "Well, duh! Gin hannon, Legolas! I'll call him..." You took the reins and looked him in the eye. "Starlight. I've always wanted a black horse called Starlight."

Blue-Eyes patted your back. "Well done, mellon. Already, Elvish is beginning to seep into your speech."

You looked at him in surprise. "I did that on purpose you dumb blond."

Legolas's eyes widened slightly. "Man?" Which you understood as, What?

You stuck your tongue out at him and crossed your eyes. "Blehlehleh!"

He recoiled. "What are you doing?"

With a laugh, you stroked Starlight's muzzle. "Messing with you. So you get up from the left side, right?"

Blue-Eyes just looked at you like you were crazy, then shook his head. "Yes, I suppose."

You went around to the left flank of the steed, which snorted suspiciously at you, like it wanted to know what the fuck you were doing. You peered at Blue-Eyes over the stallion's back. "Gimme a leg up?"

Legolas flushed and stared at you blankly. "If that is one of your vulgar insults, I swear to Illuvatar..."

A laugh escaped your throat. "No! Hell no! It means help me up, you moron!"

A sweet smile crossed Blue-Eye's features. "Well, then, come here, mellon nin, and I will aid you." He interlaced his fingers together as he bent down, allowing you to grip both ends of the saddle, step into his hand, and haul yourself up. You nearly fell off the other side, but just managed to catch yourself before you made yourself look like a complete idiot in front of Blue-Eyes, who noticed your struggle but said nothing, to your sweet relief.

Elros trotted through camp on his palomino, saying "Und wendo'hein!"

Legolas mounted his dapple-gray, and looked you up and down. "You are not sitting correctly." He told you, and reached over to pull your shoulders back. "Your shoulders need to make a line to your ankles in the stirrups."

You rolled your eyes sarcastically. "Great, now you sound like my collection of Young Rider magazines."

"Your what?" Legolas looked almost offended.

"It's basically a book only about twenty pages long made of cheap paper and filled with random tidbits of information. This series I started collecting when I was eight or nine, then continued until I was about twelve, thirteen... I had a lot of them. I loved horses."

Blue-Eyes furrowed his brow. "Did you have one?"

You scoffed. "In my world, you either have to be rich like Saddle Club or own a farm like Racing Stripes. Or, by some miracle get saved by a badass black Arabian stallion on a desert island." You smiled cheekily at him. "Which, by the way, your facial structure really reminds me of an Arabian horse's. Dished, kinda. And perfect and majestic and all that shit."

Blue-Eyes just looked like he was suddenly being attacked by a pack of savage wargs and he wasn't quite sure what to do. You grinned, and did the first thing all of the books and movies you'd read as a kid had taught you: gently tap your heels into the horse's flanks, and carefully guide their head with the reins. Starlight tossed his head, eager to get moving at a faster pace, and nickered softly as he started off at a walk. Legolas beamed at you as he rode beside you. "Well well, Sairen, it seems you are a natural at riding a horse. Perhaps the blood of the Eldar is finally starting to take a hold of you."

"Not quite," Said a new voice, and Lindir rode up on a sleek bay with a mischievous smile. "Suilad, Legolas! [Y/N]! Your Elvish is improving, but you still need to learn more."

You slumped in the saddle. "Augh, man, do I have to?"

Legolas and Lindir grinned wickedly at each other. "Ai, Lindir, man í lú?"

"Ú, Legolas. Eithro, ci maer?"

"Ni maer, mellon nin, ni maer."

So for a whole five or six hours on the trip, you got bombarded on either side by Blue-Eyes and Lindir trying to teach you Sindarin. At the end of the day, the Elvenqueen asked you for another story, so you told her the first one that popped into your head that you could honestly remember most of: Alladin's Lamp. It had been your favorite fairytail as a child, and while it was meant for younger audiences, the Elves enjoyed it just as much.

Then, Thorin asked to see you again. He asked about your world, and what it was like, and you were happy to get to know them, even if you were an Elf now.

And that's how it went, for the next few weeks. Unfortunately, at some point you'd run out of memorized storybooks, so you focused on myths from various mythologies, and then, even movies. 300 seemed to be a favorite of Thorin's, who overheard, but the Elves were especially interested in Gods of Egypt and The Hunger Games, and the Jedi from Star Wars. When you ran out of that material (It was a long trip with long nights, because apparently Elves didn't really get the concept of sleep.), you even switched to games; Darksiders and The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim got their attention, as did The Legend of Zelda.

But of all the damned stories you told them, they seemed most interested in Shakespeare, of all things. You only barely remembered reading Midsummer Night's Dream out of curiosity, but Romeo and Juliet, thankfully, everybody knew the gist of. Thanks to a certain Tom Hiddleston, you knew Coriolanus by heart, so that one wasn't too hard of a story to tell, and neither was (Onc you finally got them off of Shakespeare.) Pirates of the Caribbean, a classic for you, which, one of the characters, now that you thought of it... Will Turner... You couldn't quite remember his face, or Balian's from Kingdom of Heaven, which they all really liked, especially Legolas.

Eventually, the queen dubbed you Taleweaver, which you thought sounded pretty cool, but also a little nerve-wracking, because what if you ran out of stories to tell? You forced yourself to be casual. No worries. You were a writer, after all, just... Now your audience consisted of fantasy people instead of Tumblr bloggers.

No pressure.

One day, Legolas approached you alone as you groomed Starlight. "Yo," You said, s'upping him. "S'up?"

Blue-Eyes looked like you'd just thrown something at him. "Man?" You rolled your eyes. "Galu, mellon, galu. What is it?"

Legolas scoffed. "My mother has declared only a small party of us, including the dwarves, shall scout ahead and see if we can find their trail. Of the party is myself, Elros, Erestor, Haldir, and... you."

You pointed to yourself. "M...Me? The queen specifically requested me to go with you?" You narrowed your eyes suspiciously. "Whhhhhhyyyyyyy???"

Blue-Eyes glared at you as he stroked Starlight's muzzle. "It is nothing out of the ordinary. You wish to prove yourself to my father, do you not? I would like for you to stay in the Mirkwood as well, Sairen, so do not disappoint me."

"Well," You looked up at Starlight's face. "No pressure, right?"

Legolas smiled cheekily. "Not at all." He patted your back. "We begin at dawn tomorrow. Meet me by Starlight once you've woken, and we shall begin." He walked away, but half-turned to call out, "Do not be late!"

You nodded in exasperation, but as soon as he was gone, sighed and placed your face on Starlight's neck. "Mission," You hissed under your breath, just really wishing Lord Fabulous didn't have to be such a jackass. "Impossible."

Tag List:

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Le leich= You’re sweet

The Long Haul|LOTR x Reader|Eomer x Reader - Part 2

A/N: Part 2 of maybe...4? 5? 4? 5? Not sure. Again, the last time I reader the books was like a decade ago, so please dont be upset with me when things arent canon.

Warnings: blackish magicy type stuff kinda, violence, and everything that entails, mentions of death.

Word count: 2200 +\- 100

You met with Lord Elrond and other members of his council, and a Hobbit named Frodo presented the one ring. Among the group of people at the meeting there were two people that you knew and trusted. Aragorn, and Gandalf the Grey. When they volunteered to be a part of the group to help destroy the ring, you immediately jumped to join as well, wanting to protect your friends.

You became rather close with all members of the group. Especially Legolas and Gimli. They, along with Aragorn and yourself had become separated from the rest of the group after the deaths of Gandalf and Boromir. You mourned for your friends, but knew that Merry and Pippin needed saving. So you let Frodo and Sam go while you four went after the Urukhai that captured the other two hobbits. 

The next time you saw Eomer, you didn’t realize it was him until it was too late. You were too far off to get to him before he left. A group of men on horses traveled passed your group. Aragorn signaled for you to stay back and attack from afar should the situation call for it.

You were so far away, perched on a rock that when Eomer took off his helmet you didn’t have a good view of his face, and only recognized him by his voice towards the end of the conversation between him and Aragorn. You only recognized him went he went to get back on his horse and he and his men rode north.

The disappointment that flooded you was insurmountable. You secretly dreamed of seeing him again. Of feeling his lips on yours again. Even though you knew he was a lord and had no business being with someone like you. You still dreamed of such things.

///

Aragorn had returned from battle, bloodied and bruised, but also, with news of impending doom. You followed Gandalf to the stables. You knew he planned to ride north to try to find Eomer and his men. But even though he was a wizard, the chances of him finding Eomer and convincing him to come were small, given how Eomer had described a white wizard - no doubt Sauraman - Eomer probably wouldn’t believe a word out of Gandalf’s mouth. But perhaps if he saw you there, and you vouched for Gandalf? Maybe then Eomer would believe and they would reach Helm’s Deep in time. Gandalf agreed and in a moment you were behind him on Shadowfax.

///

“Eomer, we must ride south to Helm’s Deep to aid your Uncle.” Gandalf said.

“And why would I believe the cunning white wizard who sends men to attack the lands of Rohan?” Eomer asked aggressively. 

Then you leaped from the back of Gandalf’s horse. You immediately saw Eomer’s face change from defensive to surprised and then to hurt. The look confused you. What had you done...or not done since your last meeting.

“If you don’t believe him then believe me, Eomer.” You declared as you started closer to him. Eomer dismounted from his horse and took off his helmet. He started walking towards you with a foul glare in his eye. It stabbed you in the heart to see him look at you this way. Though perhaps it was better that he come to dislike you and leave you be than for the two of you to catch feelings for one another. You tried to push these thoughts aside. It was better in the long run and there were more pressing matters to attend to.

“Your Uncle is well again, Eomer. Grima has been expelled from Rohan. And ten thousand orcs march towards Helm’s Deep and your defenseless people. Don’t tell me you would leave them to this horrible fate?” Your voice grew quieter as you became closer to Eomer, so that only he could hear.

“I tried to find you.” Eomer said coldly as he reached you. Is that why he was so cruelly looking at you? 

“I-I’ve been away.” You said as if it wasn’t obvious.”I’ve been on an important mission.” You gazed apologetically at Eomer and he tried to judge whether or not you actually meant it. You weren’t sure what he had chosen. After a moment he turned around and started walking back towards his horse. Then he stopped and looked back at you and motioned for you to join him.

“Rohirrim!” He started to address his men. “We ride for Helm’s Deep, and to battle!” He said, putting on his helmet. You came to where he was and he got on his horse and held out his hand for you. You took it and he pulled you up to sit behind him.

///

“Why were you trying to find me?” You asked quietly during a break for the horses.

“Theodred. My cousin.” Eomer looked sadly at the ground. “He was wounded in a battle with orcs. I tried to find you so you might be able to heal him.” Then he looked up at you. His eyes were full of hurt and anger. “I could not find you.”

You sighed and gathered your thoughts before you replied. “I was called upon by Lord Elrond. The One Ring has been found.” 

Eomer’s face shot up in surprise. A look of almost hope dawned his features. “Where is it?” he asked.

“It is being taken to Mordor to be destroyed.”

“By who?”

You had to pause to laugh a little. The whole thing being explained to someone else sounded ridiculous. Two hobbits against the world? Yikes. “Their names are Frodo and Sam.” You said deciding to save the whole hobbits bit for a later time. Then you were interrupted by one of Eomer’s men.

“My Lord. We should continue.” The man said. Eomer turned his head and nodded to the man before turning back to you.

“And you were accompanying them?”  He asked getting up. You followed.

“Yes, but we were separated. I am with the three you found the other day. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli.”

“Why did I not see you there?”

“I was farther back on perch in case something went wrong.”

Before you got onto the horse again Eomer stopped you, turning towards you. He sighed and looked down at you. He sweetly ran the back of his hand against your hair. “I had missed you.” He said quietly under his breathe. The smile that erupted onto your face was embarrassingly large. You looked down to try to conceal the blush that crept onto your cheeks. Biting your lip you look back at him.

“I have missed you too.” You confessed. It was Eomer’s turn to smile and blush. The two of you grew closer and closer together until your lips were mere centimeters apart.

“Eomer! Y/n!” Gandalf got your attention from the other side of your horse. “We must leave at once if we are to make it!”

You and Eomer giggled at Gandalf’s timing. You pulled away and got on the horse and rode towards Helm’s Deep.

///

You were just on the other side of Helm’s Deep. You could hear the clattering and clanking of swords and the grunting of men, elf, and orc who fought. You grew nervous.

“Y/n,” Eomer started to say to you as Gandalf gave a rousing speech to the men. “You should stay behind. Its not safe for a lady.”

“Then I guess its a good thing I’m not a lady.” You said with a hint of amusement in your tone. Then Gandalf came towards you. 

“Get ready Y/n. We will need your help if we are to win this.” He stated. You jumped off of the horse and walk a way in front of the men.

You knew exactly what you could do to help them. But it would mean using your black magic. And if you were to use that, it would much easier for your father to sense where you were. But you supposed you would have to use it sooner or later. And sooner or later your father was going to figure out where you are. It would be worth it if you could do anything to help stop Sauran and Sauraman.

“Funnel the horses through my sigil.” You said before turning to look at Eomer again. He did not know of your lineage, but he was sure to learn in a moment. You were certain that once he saw how dark you actually were he would no longer want you. And while it hurt thinking that you would never feel his touch again, you knew that you would have to sacrifice some of the things you wanted if we were to win this war. And in your head you knew that it could never be between you two either because he was a Lord and you were from scum. You put all of this behind you and you focused on casting the dark spells you needed to.

“Avo alnej, startok.”[1] You said as you held your arm up to the sky. In a tiny flash of lightning and a boom of thunder, a crow appeared and landed on your arm. Then you quickly grabbed it by the neck. In your other hand you unsheathed your dagger.

“May latob kibum maprog ulub.”[2] Another spell left your lips, and you drove your knife into the crow’s belly and you drug it down. You put the knife away and then used the crow’s blood to draw a sigil on the ground. You made it large so that a few horses could go through at a time. When you were finished you stood just outside of the sigil and held crow up to the sky and the sigil you had drawn started to glow.

“Baj it zahal.”[3] You declared with the crow held high. With your arms still in the air you looked at Eomer. He had a look of horror on his face. He watched you with offensive concern. It nearly killed you. At least you could do this for him. You looked to Gandalf and nodded.

“Everyone must go through this sigil. Both man and beast. Do it now!” He demanded and looked at Eomer. Eomer looked to his men and nodded, signaling that they should do as the wizard said. And so they did.

///

The battle had ended and not a Rohirrim was lost. Unfortunately the other people of Rohan had been massacred. At the end you immediately went to help the healers. After you were able to find all of the things you needed for a dark healing spell, and Gandalf and the King talked the people there into letting you cast a dark spell, you got to work readying a space for it.

“Would you ever have told me that you were a fell beast, or were you going to keep me under your spell?” Eomer’s angry voice resonated in the room you were preparing. You thought that something like this might happen. You were kind of hoping that maybe he would just shun you and not come yelling at you. No such luck. It took a second for you to process what had just happened.

“You never asked me what I am.” You replied bluntly. Why should he get to be made at you? It’s not like you lied to him. He never asked. “And I never put you under a spell.” You clarified with hostility.

He looked bewildered for a moment at your stony attitude before he set a glare at you, then shaking his head and leaving. Eomer closed the door loudly behind himself.

“It was all she ever knew. And she has been making up for her mistakes. Don’t be too hard on her.” Aragorn stated to Eomer as he made to go down the hallway. Eomer cocked his head in question. “She’s saved my life more times than I’d care to admit.” Aragorn added and then walked down the opposite direction from where Eomer was going.

///

Days later and the people of Rohan were leaving Helm’s Deep and making their way back to Edoras. You were walking beside a cart pulling people’s things. Eomer was walking as well having given his horse to help the elderly and sick. He caught your attention when he came up behind you.

“I owe you an apology.” His deep voice carried in the wind making you look back. You stopped and furrowed your eyebrows at him. “And I suppose if I had such a secret, I wouldn’t have shared it either.” You started walking again when he was beside you.

“I’m trying to be better.” You said smally. “I’m trying to make up for the things that I’ve done.”

“There is no need to explain.” Eomer said with an almost guilty face and his gaze glanced over to where Aragorn and Eowyn walked together. You sighed in a defeated manner and shook your head. Of course it was Aragorn who gave him details about you.

Shyly you looked back up to him, judging his sincerity.

“I am sorry for yelling at you.” He stated calmly. It made you smile a little. And then he smiled back at you, a small, sheepish smile. You were so enthralled with him that you hand’t notice him move his hand. So when you felt his skin on yours, and then the gentle squeeze of his fingers entwined with yours, it made you jump. And your jump made him chuckle. 

When you didn’t pull away his smile grew. He said nothing. He raised your hand in his to his lips and he placed a soft kiss on your knuckles. You blushed while he put your hands back down. Just because you could never end up with him doesn’t mean that for now you can’t hold his hand for a little bit, right?

----

Tags:

@ladyideal��

@merrillbee92​

----

Translations:

[1] To me, crow

[2] May your life protect theirs

[3] Make it so

“Picard” S1 Review: Doesn’t boldly go but is nonetheless engaging

Produced by CBS All Access

Starring: Patrick Stewart, Isa Briones, Allison Pill, Michelle Hurd, Santiago Cabrera, Evan Evagora, Harry Treadaway

Many fans had high hopes for “Picard” going into CBS All Access’s continuing voyage into the Star Trek franchise.

Fans wanted to see the lore finally expanded into the future after its previous three ventures (Enterprise, Abrams Trek, and Discovery) took place in the past, bring modern themes and ideas to Star Trek’s futurist’s world view in a way that felt fresh and relevant, but most importantly continue the story of the franchise’s greatest captain; Jean-Luc Picard, of course.

(He’s the best captain. This is not up for debate. Don’t @ me!)

In some ways the new series succeeds at this. We get glimpses of the previously untouched world of Star Trek post “Nemesis,” new themes that are resonant with real world events and exploratory, even critical, of the Federation’s worldview, and of course plenty of Picard himself as he navigates the strange new galaxy he inhabits.

But Picard ultimately misses the mark due to rushed storytelling, half-baked side plots, and just plain poor execution overall. It’s sad because “Picard” and this very talented cast and production team have their moments throughout this first season’s ten episode run but somehow even with 10 episodes of content to work with fans still end up with a somewhat jumbled mess.

(Me by like the eighth episode.)

This isn’t to say “Picard” isn’t worth your time if you’re an avid Star Trek fan or just someone who likes Patrick Stewart in this role in general but the first season will leave you still hungry for more and not in a good way.

“Picard” continues the story of the titular captain, now retired admiral, many years after the events of “Nemesis” as a retired Jean Luc reflects on his life in Starfleet and of his late friend Data who gave his life for his. A synth ban has been enacted in Starfleet after a major riot on Mars some years prior and Picard is understandably sour on the idea, given his relationship with Data, while also fighting Starfleet on not helping the exodus of the Romulans after the supernova that wiped out their homeworld in “Star Trek (2009).” When a young woman comes seeking Picard’s aid after an attack by mysterious assailants, revealing that she is an android and the possible daughter of Data, and gets killed, it is up to the retired Admiral to find her twin sister before she suffers the same fate.

Before we get started let’s throw out some of the bad faith arguments on why this series wasn’t all that good.

“Picard” doesn’t suck because it has “politics” in it. At this point, if you are complaining about the existence of social viewpoints and political/philosophical discussions in your Star Trek, or let alone any series for that matter, I don’t know what the hell you’ve been watching the past few decades. Star Trek has always been more than just a show about cool-looking spaceships and laser beams, you neckbeards.

(Hell, even the other “Star” got more going on in it than that.)

It’s also not bad because of female representation or “girl power.” Again, Star Trek has always had this and frankly having a few more instances of the women of Trek taking center stage doesn’t even come close to rebalancing the scales on the overall massive representation of cis white men across the genre and even the series anyways.

Also get the fuck over the use of curse words in this series. While certainly some instances in this show felt awkward, the use of the word “fuck” does not dilute Star Trek’s overall story.

(It would have made earlier season’s funnier for sure.)

Now that that’s out of way let’s get into the real reasons that, for me at least, the series fell short of an otherwise promising goal of delivering great new Star Trek.

The main problem stems from the series overall jumping off point in its first episode. Picard is understandably still upset about the death of Data and having him deal with survivor’s guilt is a great way to bring this character into the future and reexplore the humanist viewpoints Data touched on in the older series. But also having Picard deal with his fallout from Starfleet, both from the synth ban AND the Romulan exodus, creates chasmic diverging plotlines that never quite come together. The story really needed it to be one or the other. Either Picard wanting to advocate for the continued existence of synthetic life or the rescue of the Romulans post super nova. The latter is touched on a bit through the addition of the character Elnor but doesn’t quite work given that majority of the Romulans in this series are portrayed as villains.

There is definitely a post Brexit, anti-immigrant hysteria message being told there but not enough depth and nuance is given to make it look like Starfleet was particularly wrong here to abandon them given that they do end up being spies committing espionage in the Federation and the clear villains of the first season. The showrunners could have brought these two stories together by perhaps making Soji a Romulan bent on bringing down synthetic life because maybe her twin sister died in the riots on Mars, making Picard have to choose between his commitment to both minority groups abandoned by the Federation but of course, that’s not what the series goes with.

Also suddenly shoehorning in a convoluted anti-synth worldview into the already ultra-secretive Romulan empire was muddled to say the least.

(A decent summation of the Romulans, pretty much ever. Also why is the only Asian actress in this scene in Osaka depicted as an alien, Mr Kurtzman?...)

Some of these ideas could’ve been saved through better editing and pacing though but not enough is done in this first season to mitigate these issues. Too much of plot is told through plain exposition; people sitting down and talking for five-ten minutes about prophecies and backstory instead of having the story simply show us instead. It makes the pacing often slow even by Trek standards and grinds the action to a halt even when there are lasers being shot at one another in the next scene.

Many of these plots get barely any attention too. The Borg cube, why it’s abandoned, and why Hugh is working for the Romulans through the Federation is given surface level development at best. Seven of Nine returns and at one point is momentarily hooked up to the Collective and she doesn’t really say much about it after it happens. The new character’s Rios and Raffi both have side stories given to their development that get touched on once and never brought up again. Dr. Jurati straight up murders her lover and is set to turn herself into the Federation and it’s just kind of forgotten about in the finale. And Elnor, well, he gets to do his best Legolas impression slicing and dicing fellow Romulans with his sword I guess.

(He is still best boi though :3...)

The main co-star however, Soji the perfect android, has a particularly rushed development going from a scientist unknowing of her nature, to supposed prophet of doom, to predictably the savior all in one season. Her arc needed more time to develop with perhaps her Romulan love affair with Narek being the first season’s main driving force and her realization as an android being the climax. 

Instead we get basically four seasons of Battlestar Galactica’s Sharon arc crammed into one season and it unfortunately makes the story feel half-baked.

(Ok, Boomer.)

Don’t get the wrong idea, all these new characters have great individual moments as well throughout the season but sooooo much side plot is shoved in already into a muddled overarching narrative that it feels like several seasons worth of storytelling stuffed and edited down into a ten episode arc. Why the series felt it needed to conclude this robust story about synth hating Romulans in “Picard’s” first season feels like an unforced error in this reviewer’s opinion even if Sir P Stew only has maybe a couple seasons of extensive acting left in him anyways.

But the season isn’t completely worthless, as much as this review has been spent dunking on its less than stellar parts. The cast is exceptional, even working with the spare parts they’ve been given. Episode 5’s “Stardust City Rag,” in particular, stands out as a good mix of old and new Trek, with a decent dosage of cheese featuring Patrick Stewart trying on a French accent in a space bar. Santiago Cabrera is delightful as the ship captain Rios while also playing various forms of himself in AI form in equally enjoyable roles. Evan Evagora is fun as the deadly yet somewhat aloof Elnor, even if his character doesn’t do all that much except cut up a few Romulans. Seeing Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis reprise their roles as Riker and Troi respectively in episode 6 was heartwarming and felt the most like TNG out of all the episodes. And Jeri Ryan seems liberated in this series in this version of Seven of Nine, no doubt glad to be rid of that restrictive corset and Rick Berman’s meddling hands.

(Big “Fuck you, Rick Berman” energy going on in this scene.)

The production value is obviously high level as Trek has rarely looked this good on the small screen. There’s some great cinematography throughout the season whether it’s Picard’s chateau winery, the haunting nature of the Borg cube, or the synth homeworld in the season’s final beats. The spaceships look cool as always and the world of the future feels well futuristic.

The musical score is also top notch, with a great opening theme that feels very much in line with Trek at its futurist glimpse into a hopeful cosmos.

The season’s best moments though are between Picard and Data and will remind you why they were more than likely your favorite characters on TNG. Generally speaking, exploring the humanist themes of artificial intelligence in new Trek was a good choice and having Picard deal with survivor’s guilt kept the pulse of the muddled story still beating. Brent Spiner is still great as Data and will remind you all again how talented he has always been as an actor and though his age seeps through the makeup a bit he is nonetheless still a perfect android.

Though the finale as a whole is underwhelming, the characters do share a nice final moment that is both touching and reminiscent of everything a fan loves about Star Trek. It’s a great cap to an otherwise ok return to Star Trek for TNG’s top characters and its truly touching in the best way that this franchise has always been known to be.

(Deactivating my emotions chip because I just..can’t! I just can’t, ok! *Sobs*)

But great acting and high production value can only mask so many flaws with a convoluted plot and “Picard” unfortunately suffers from the bloated and uncooked nature of its many ideas. What the story really needed was three season arc not just ten episodes and it shows. I guess the plus side is with this particular plot wrapped up it leaves the door open for new ideas and a fresh start in the second season but it does feel like an overall miss for Picard’s homecoming back into the universe of Star Trek.

Overall, though there are worse ways a Star Trek fan can spend their quarantine than watching “Picard” and there’s certainly enough here for fans to latch onto and have hope for better things in the next season.

Hopefully things are less rushed or at least more focused in the second season and we can see a more proper return to form for both Picard and future Star Trek.

Here’s hoping the producers and writers make it so…

VERDICT:

3 out of 5

Let’s hope we get a return of Q in the next season.

Marriage of Choice - Chapter 3

Happy Kili Tuesday everyone! I hope you’re all doing well and not going too crazy, whether you are stuck at home, work, or elsewhere. Here is Chapter 3 of Marriage of Choice. I will post it on AO3 on Friday or late Thursday night. Please leave comments either here on AO3 if you have a moment. They sustain my fragile writer’s ego.

Happy reading!

Chapter Summary: Nori’s dangerous. Tauriel just wants to relax. Kili’s grateful.

Chapter 3

Tauriel ran her finger along the rotation list, searching for her name. Every other name was listed in cirth, as were the times they were assigned watch and their location. When she found her name written in Westron, she wondered briefly why she even bothered to check any more. It was always the same. Second night watch outside the storage rooms where the mountain’s food was being kept and down by the currently little-used smithies. Just like every other night they bothered to add her to the list. Still, it was better than no work at all. She turned and went to get her breakfast before going in search of something else to work on for the day. Perhaps Bofur would have some use for her, or maybe Bombur. The two were some of the most welcoming dwarrow in the mountain and even they weren’t the most friendly people she’d ever met.

“Where are you off too?”

Tauriel looked to the side. It took her a moment, but she finally found the dwarf that had spoken. Nori stood in an alcove, leaning against the wall and fiddling with one of his knives.

“To find someone that will allow me to help,” she said honestly. After all, lying wasn’t going to get her any work.

Nori straightened and slipped the knife… somewhere. Very skilled, she decided, to be able to keep her from seeing exactly where he hid it.

“Funny you should say you’re looking for work,” he said.

Alarm horns started sounding in the back of Tauriel’s mind at the mischievous smirk dancing on his lips. She’d only seen that look once before, back when a delegation from Rivendell had come to Greenwood some hundred years prior. She’d just been a lowly soldier in Thranduil’s guard. Two of the elves that had been part of it, twins, had sported such a look before they’d created absolute havoc within the noble court. “And why would that be?” she asked and wondered if he would notice if she reached for her knives.

He tipped his head to the side, just slightly as he looked her over. “Face it lass,” he said, “there aren’t many that will live in this mountain that like you, Prince Kili not included. Me, I’m not sure if I like you either, but that doesn’t necessarily matter. I need helpers, ones that I can trust not to doublecross the royal family.”

Tauriel’s eyes narrowed. She had a feeling where this was going. “What are you asking me to do?” she asked.

He brought his hands together, palms flat and let his index fingers rest against his lower lip, the smirk curling into a grin. “Cautious. I like that,” he said and his hands dropped to his sides again. Another knife appeared in his fingers. She kept its motions in her periphery but focused the rest of her attention on his face. “Someone’s out to kill the consort. I need someone that can help me keep that from happening. I know your kind are light on their feet. Think you can sneak around a hobbit?”

Tauriel shifted her weight onto one leg and propped her fist on her hip, her fingers close to the hilt of one of her knives. “Now why do you think I’d be a good choice to follow the consort around?” she asked. “You don’t trust me.”

He snorted. “I don’t trust anyone but my One and even that can be a stretch on some days,” he told her. “You can’t be too trusting in my line of work. Well, either of the ones I’ve ever had. But that’s not the point. What is, is that I’m pretty sure you won’t do anything to break Kili’s heart. You’re his One, after all.”

One. Kili had tried to explain it, the dwarfish belief that their Maker often split their souls in their forging and that when a dwarf found their other half, they became One. She still didn’t quite understand it, but she did understand herself and the way she felt.

She could never intentionally hurt Kili.

“And if you hurt the consort, or allow him to be hurt, Kili will never forgive himself or anyone else that was in a position to help.”

Tauriel huffed a small laugh. “You’re good at manipulation,” she remarked. “What would you have me do?”

“Dwarrow don’t like you, not because of who you are, but because of what you are. They ignore you, pretend you’re not there. I’ve watched and I’ve listened.”

Had he? She didn’t remember that distinctive hairstyle anywhere near her until now.

“They say things around you they won’t say around me. They say things they think you’re too far away to hear, but I see the expression on your face when they say something disparaging about Kili. You hear them just fine. Start paying more attention. Help me find who’s behind the attempts on the consort’s life. Help me stop any attacks that may be coming.”

“You need a spy,” she said bluntly, her eyebrows lifting minutely.

He grinned at her. “You’ll be the first of many,” he promised. “No one will suspect the court’s spymaster’s top agent to be the resident banished elf.”

The reminder of her status in Thranduil’s court left a bitter taste in her mouth. But he had a point. Who would willingly trust an elf near the royal family of what was once the greatest kingdom in all Arda and had the potential to be the greatest kingdom once again? “You’re insane,” she told him, even as a small smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “I’ll listen. How should I report to you?”

“Currently, I can usually be found lurking near the royal family. If I see you there without being on Kili’s arm, I’ll know to come talk to you. I’ll also check in with you on your nightly watches outside the store rooms.”

She opened her mouth to say something and then paused. “You had a hand in that, didn’t you?”

He flashed a smile at her. “Now what makes you think I would have any influence with the Captain?” he asked and secreted his knife away before stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Good luck with finding other work,” he said and walked away, the picture of nonchalance and ease. The way he walked, the way he moved. Nori was dangerous. She was sure of it. How had they ever captured him in Mirkwood?

~*~*~

Only dwarrow were allowed in the throne room for the coronation. Knowing how much dwarrow liked their secrets, it didn’t really bother Tauriel, except for one thing. She’d done as Nori asked and listened. She needed to get to the throne room as quickly as possible and warn him of what she’d heard. The only problem was-

“Where do you think you’re going, Tree-shagger?”

Every single dwarf in the mountain wanted to waylay her.

She dodged the latest dwarf to grab at her. She needed to find Nori immediately.

“Here lass. What’s the rush?”

Tauriel paused in her near dash toward the throne room. She knew that voice. Glancing to the side, she saw a familiar hat topping an equally familiar dwarf beneath it.

“Master Bofur,” she said and relief pushed the breath she’d been preparing to use to shout at someone out in a sigh. “Do you happen to know where Master Nori is?”

“Nori?” Bofur asked, tipping his head to the side. “Last I saw of him, he was-”

“Did I just hear someone taking my name in vain?”

“Lurking right behind me.” Bofur turned. “Nori! Tauriel’s been looking for you.”

Nori’s eyebrows rose a bit. “So I hear,” he said, his smirk making his beard twitch a bit. “Thanks Bofur.”

Bofur glanced between Nori and Tauriel, shrugged, and went on his way. The moment he was out of sight, Tauriel caught Nori’s sleeve and pulled him to the side.

“What do you have for me?” Nori asked.

“Bilbo’s crown is a fake. Gilded with gold leaf. Iron beneath. You’ll have a hard time telling the difference.”

Nori’s eyes narrowed as he looked up at the ceiling. His knife reappeared and he flipped it across his knuckles absently. “Treason, huh? I’d heard whispers. Just didn’t think anyone was fool enough to actually do it. Have any names?”

Tauriel shook her head. “No, but the dwarf you’re looking for has red hair, part of his left ear missing at the top, and speaks like a noble.”

“That narrows it down a bit. Got anything else?”

Tauriel thought back to the dwarf she’d stumbled on while patrolling the halls around the little-used private smithies. He’d had his back to her while he covered the false crown in gold leaf. She didn’t want to alert him to her presence after all but he had turned toward the doorway just as she prepared to leave. “Brown eyes,” she said. “Heavy brows. Looked like his beard might have been cut a bit during the battle. The right side seemed a bit shorter than the left.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Nori asked. “Well done. Keep your ears open for more little tidbits.” With that, he turned and…

Disappeared. Confused, Tauriel went over to where she’d last been able to see Nori. Her hands met solid wall without any imperfections that she could see. Did dwarrow know magic?

With nothing more to do, Tauriel headed back towards the royal wing. She was still trying to decide if Thorin had gifted her rooms there out of gratitude for the healing she’d done for him and his nephews, because Kili had asked him to (she’d never asked Kili if he’d gone to his uncle or not), or because Thorin wanted her in his sight as often as possible.

Whatever the reason, she couldn’t help but feel grateful. Enough dwarrow glared balefully at her on a regular basis. She didn’t want that when she first stepped out of her apartment. Home? Did she consider those rooms within Erebor her home now? She thought of the rooms she had in the barracks back in Mirkwood. Her belongings would still be in there, possibly. Or maybe someone had destroyed them after news of her banishment had gotten out. She’d have to ask next time someone from Mirkwood came to the mountain. Perhaps Legolas-

If she hadn’t been musing on what had happened to her few personal belongings, she would have had a lot more warning than she did. She almost ran straight into the dwarf trying to pick the lock on the currently unoccupied king’s rooms.

He hadn’t heard her though. Sloppy and unobservant.

Bemoaning her new lack of free time, Tauriel stepped up behind the dwarf, drew one of her knives and settled the tip of it against the dwarf’s back. No armor. No lookout. So very sloppy.

Who trained these dwarrow anyway?

It didn’t matter. Only made her life easier.

“What business have you in the king’s quarters?” she asked. No reason to announce that Thorin hadn’t moved into them with Bilbo.

The dwarf snarled something in khuzdul.

“I was under the impression that you weren’t supposed to use the dwarfen language in the presence of outsiders,” she remarked idly and applied a little more pressure with her knife.

“Go shag a tree,” the dwarf snapped.

“You’ll need new material if you think insults are going to make me leave you be,” Tauriel told him.

The dwarf lunged forward, trying to get out of her reach. She stepped with him, grabbed a fistful of his doublet, and slammed him into the door he’d just been trying to unlock. With him pinned, she started going through his pockets. She found a small assortment of weapons.

“You should take lessons from the crown prince,” she told him. “He’s far more adept at hiding blades on his person.” She continued searching and found other sharp, pointy objects as well as a garot. “Going by your assassin’s toolkit, I’ll just assume you’re here to kill the king or his consort.”

The dwarf growled something unintelligible.

“What was that?” Tauriel asked. “I couldn’t understand you with your face smashed against the woodwork.” She hauled him away from the door and started frogmarching him toward the guardhouse.

“You’re robbing me of my free time,” she told the dwarf. “I’d planned to relax during the coronation but you’ve just ruined that.”

The dwarf shouted wordlessly and twisted in her grip. She let him go. If he was going to take away her time to have a long, proper soak in the lovely heated bath in her rooms (Eru bless dwarrow engineering), he might as well provide her with the entertainment of a good fight.

He charged her, the slim, short blade she’d purposely let him keep held in a reverse grip. He slashed at her and she stepped back, out of his reach. With the same motion, she swung and hit him on the side of the head with an open palm. More a challenge than an attack really. Pent up energy not released in the training grounds roiled beneath her skin almost constantly and she finally, finally, had a chance to do something with it.

He cursed at her in khuzdul.

Tauriel tsked at him. “Keep that up and I’ll have to report you to the king.”

“The king will thank me for gutting you like the bi-”

She lunged and jabbed her fist into his stomach, just below his ribcage. He wheezed and coughed, the wind knocked clean from his lungs. He bent double but tried to keep his head up and his knife out to warn her away from him.

She kicked at his hand and the blade spun across the marble floor.

Unarmed, the dwarf panicked. He lunged into her, trying to take her down by hitting her low. She sidestepped at the last second and brought her knee up into his midsection again. Bones cracked against her leg. She swung both fists down, hitting him between his shoulder blades even as he fell to the floor. He didn’t get back up again.

She bent and checked him over. He breathed and his heart still beat, but she had a feeling she’d hit him too hard. His pulse raced harder than the fight called for it too, short as it had been, and he breathed too hard as well.

She cursed under her breath. After tying his hands together behind his back, she hoisted him over her shoulder and left for the guardhouse.

Nori beat her there, dragging in the dwarf she’d seen creating the false crown. She waited for Nori to settle his captive before drawing attention to herself and her burden.

Nori shut the door that separated the guardhouse from the cells. “What do we have here?” he asked and pulled on her captive’s hair until he could see his face. “Oh good. You found him. Where?”

“Trying to enter King Thror’s old rooms,” she said. “I found these on him.” She pulled the weapons she’d confiscated off the dwarf out of her belt and dumped them on a table.

Picking through the pile, Nori nodded. “I knew he wasn’t the soldier he claimed to be,” he said. “Couldn’t decide if he was a common thief or something more though. Good work. Leave him with me. I’ll make sure the right people know he’s here.”

Relief coursed through her. “Thank you,” she said. “I’d really rather not draw attention to myself.”

He smirked at her. “No worries on that one lass. Everyone wants you to not be here so you’ll have the freedom to move. I’ll not be jeopardizing that any time soon. You’ll be useful until you marry your prince.” He reached up to take her burden from her. “Off you go now. Enjoy some free time assuming you don’t find any more would-be assassins lurking somewhere in the royal wing.”

Tauriel inclined her head in acknowledgement of his unspoken request before doing as he said. Perhaps she’d still have time for her bath after all.

~*~*~

Kili greeted Tauriel with a short kiss a few weeks later.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as he took her hand and they started walking toward the training grounds.

“Why would anything be wrong, Amrâlimê?”

Tauriel stopped and waited for him to look at her. When he did, she just raised an eyebrow at him. His shoulders slumped.

“It’s nothing,” he said even as he looked down and to the side. “I just feel like Fili’s avoiding me is all. He’s been busy lately with his new duties now that being crown prince actually matters.”

Tauriel touched Kili’s shoulder gently and he looked up at her eyes again. “I do not have any family,” she said. “I don’t understand your pain or frustration in this. Can I help in any way?”

Kili relaxed a little under her touch. He looked up at her with a small, sweet smile and with his eyebrows drawn together and lifted slightly. His expression coupled with his perpetually disheveled hair lent him the air of a puppy and a feeling of ease settled into Tauriel.

“I thank Mahal every day at least once for bringing you to me,” Kili told her and took her hands. “Having you with me is all I could ever ask or I would be too greedy.”

Tauriel huffed a laugh. “You silly dwarf,” she said and bent to tap her forehead to his. She still didn’t quite understand why the gesture meant something to dwarrow, but it made Kili happy, so she did it.

“Amrâlimê,” he murmured and smiled that sweet, puppy grin again. Together, they went to breakfast and ate with those members of the Company that weren’t already up and about their own duties that day. Fili came in late, sat at the far end of the table, wolfed down a small breakfast while going over some document or other, and then limped his way out of the hall as fast as his crutches could carry him.

Tauriel wouldn’t have even noted him if Kili hadn’t mentioned something already. As it was, she was fairly certain she was the only one that noted the golden prince’s pained glance he directed at Kili.

If asking for help with his brother made Kili feel too greedy in the eyes of his Maker, then she would just take matters into her own hands.

First, though, she had guard duty. Down by the little used public workshops and storerooms. Again.

When she finally resurfaced from her duties hours later (not a soul in sight the entire time), she managed to track Fili down in the newly cleaned and repaired kitchens. He sat at a small table set to the side with a small plate in front of him, nothing but pastry crumbs left on it. She sat across from him without preamble.

“Captain Tauriel,” Fili said, startling slightly when she first entered his line of vision. He glanced around. “Is, ah, Kili with you?”

“As long as I am banished from the Greenwood, I cannot be a captain of their guard.” She settled her hands on the table, clasping them together as she leveled Fili with the most level look she could muster. “Would it be a problem if he were with me?” she asked mildly.

She must not have kept her tone even enough. Fili’s eyes widened a little and one of his hands shifted, his fingers touching the cuff of his coat, reaching for a hidden knife. She resisted the urge to frown. She’d thought she could trust Fili. Maybe she’d been a bit misguided in that. She kept his hands in her periphery, just in case she needed to avoid a thrown dagger at any moment.

“No,” Fili hedged. “Why would there be?”

She ignored him. “Then perhaps you’ve truly been too busy to see him and are now trying to find him.”

He visibly flinched, turning his gaze away from her as he ducked his chin guiltily toward his right shoulder. His fingers continued to toy with the cuff of his sleeve. She could see his finger rubbing against the hilt of the knife there. Easily reached, but he still didn’t draw it. A nervous tick perhaps?

She took pity on him when he didn’t look up after a few moments. “He misses you.”

Fili’s shoulders rose closer to his ears and his frown deepened.

“Why do you avoid him?” She asked curiously. “He wants nothing more than to help you and be at your side as he always has been.”

“But he wouldn’t be at my side, would he?” Fili asked quietly once one of the few kitchen workers bustled by with a tray of fresh apple turnovers. The smell wafted over them and Fili paled and went a bit green beneath his moustache and beard. He swallowed visibly. “He’d be in front of me. I can’t keep up with him anymore.”

“Your Highness?”

Fili scrubbed at his face and muttered something into his palms she couldn’t understand. When he finally pulled his hands away he looked up at her with eyes so different from Kili’s but with a familiarity to them it almost hurt at the anguish lining them, pulling at the corners of his mouth, drawing his skin tight and leaving him slightly pale. “I’ve always been there. His big brother. Always immovable and invincible. Now look at me.” He tapped the crutches that lay on the table next to him, close to the wall. “I can’t even walk.”

Tauriel took a moment to weigh her words carefully. She knew his recent relapse in his recovery ate at him. It would eat at her too if she’d been in his situation, finally walking with a cane only to aggravate the injury and be put on bed rest for days again. He’d only climbed out of his bed a week before.“I was told what you said when you refused to join your uncle when he first traveled from Esgaroth to the mountain. ‘I belong with my brother.’ Perhaps, just as you stayed by his side when he needed help, he only desires to be beside you in your recovery.”

His hand dropped to his leg and he rubbed at it absently, a grimace pulling the lines around his eyes deeper. Something about his expression nudged at something in the back of her mind. She knew that look, but from where?

“I’ll talk to him,” Fili said and his fingers came away from the hilt of the knife up his sleeve. “I’m sorry, Lady Tauriel. I’m sure he hasn’t been the easiest to deal with the last little bit. I know he can be a bit manic when he’s agitated or upset.”

“Don’t apologize to me, unless it’s for calling me ‘Lady’,” she admonished with a half smile. “I love Kili and enjoy every side of him.”

Fili propped his chin in his hand and smirked. “Is that what it’s like to find your One?” he asked. “To understand every little nuannce and bit of insanity your other half deals out to you?”

Movement behind Fili caught her attention. “You tell me,” Tauriel said with a smile and climbed to her feet. “Kili will be early to the council meeting this afternoon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fili demanded as he reached for his crutches.

“Your Highness?”

Tauriel just smirked when Fili almost fell over when he twisted in surprise. Bard’s eldest daughter stood behind him with one eyebrow raised and an amused smile playing at her lips. Perhaps Kili was right after all. She would need to find Nori and add her own coin to the betting.

~*~*~

Kili found her that evening as she stood on top of the wall and stared at the latest snowfall. He came and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her back. She placed her hand over his and continued to scan for lurking orcs.

“Thank you,” Kili murmured after a time.

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re referring to,” she said and leaned back a bit, letting him take some of her weight. He shifted and came to stand beside her, one of his arms still wrapped around her back. He leaned his head on her shoulder and stared out at the snow. She draped her arm across his shoulders and he reached up to lace their fingers together.

“Will you help?” he asked. “I know you’re trying to stay busy when I’m not able to be around. Do you think you could help in the infirmary? Maybe see if Oin has anything you can do to help Fili along with his healing?”

Apprehension flared in her stomach, making it twist a little. “I’m not sure the good healer will allow me to assist in anything within his domain.”

Kili snorted. “After what you did to save me, twice now, I’m pretty sure he’ll listen to just about any suggestions you may have.”

She hummed absently. “I’d like to learn more about dwarfish medicine. Perhaps he wouldn’t mind an exchange of techniques.”

“Playing on his intellectual side. I love it when you’re crafty.”

She shook slightly with suppressed laughter. “I’m hardly crafty. I honestly wish to learn.”

“Of course you do,” Kili said and pulled her hand to his lips.

Chapter 3

Tauriel ran her finger along the rotation list, searching for her name. Every other name was listed in cirth, as were the times they were assigned watch and their location. When she found her name written in Westron, she wondered briefly why she even bothered to check any more. It was always the same. Second night watch outside the storage rooms where the mountain’s food was being kept and down by the currently little-used smithies. Just like every other night they bothered to add her to the list. Still, it was better than no work at all. She turned and went to get her breakfast before going in search of something else to work on for the day. Perhaps Bofur would have some use for her, or maybe Bombur. The two were some of the most welcoming dwarrow in the mountain and even they weren’t the most friendly people she’d ever met.

“Where are you off too?”

Tauriel looked to the side. It took her a moment, but she finally found the dwarf that had spoken. Nori stood in an alcove, leaning against the wall and fiddling with one of his knives.

“To find someone that will allow me to help,” she said honestly. After all, lying wasn’t going to get her any work.

Nori straightened and slipped the knife… somewhere. Very skilled, she decided, to be able to keep her from seeing exactly where he hid it.

“Funny you should say you’re looking for work,” he said.

Alarm horns started sounding in the back of Tauriel’s mind at the mischievous smirk dancing on his lips. She’d only seen that look once before, back when a delegation from Rivendell had come to Greenwood some hundred years prior. She’d just been a lowly soldier in Thranduil’s guard. Two of the elves that had been part of it, twins, had sported such a look before they’d created absolute havoc within the noble court. “And why would that be?” she asked and wondered if he would notice if she reached for her knives.

He tipped his head to the side, just slightly as he looked her over. “Face it lass,” he said, “there aren’t many that will live in this mountain that like you, Prince Kili not included. Me, I’m not sure if I like you either, but that doesn’t necessarily matter. I need helpers, ones that I can trust not to doublecross the royal family.”

Tauriel’s eyes narrowed. She had a feeling where this was going. “What are you asking me to do?” she asked.

He brought his hands together, palms flat and let his index fingers rest against his lower lip, the smirk curling into a grin. “Cautious. I like that,” he said and his hands dropped to his sides again. Another knife appeared in his fingers. She kept its motions in her periphery but focused the rest of her attention on his face. “Someone’s out to kill the consort. I need someone that can help me keep that from happening. I know your kind are light on their feet. Think you can sneak around a hobbit?”

Tauriel shifted her weight onto one leg and propped her fist on her hip, her fingers close to the hilt of one of her knives. “Now why do you think I’d be a good choice to follow the consort around?” she asked. “You don’t trust me.”

He snorted. “I don’t trust anyone but my One and even that can be a stretch on some days,” he told her. “You can’t be too trusting in my line of work. Well, either of the ones I’ve ever had. But that’s not the point. What is, is that I’m pretty sure you won’t do anything to break Kili’s heart. You’re his One, after all.”

One. Kili had tried to explain it, the dwarfish belief that their Maker often split their souls in their forging and that when a dwarf found their other half, they became One. She still didn’t quite understand it, but she did understand herself and the way she felt.

She could never intentionally hurt Kili.

“And if you hurt the consort, or allow him to be hurt, Kili will never forgive himself or anyone else that was in a position to help.”

Tauriel huffed a small laugh. “You’re good at manipulation,” she remarked. “What would you have me do?”

“Dwarrow don’t like you, not because of who you are, but because of what you are. They ignore you, pretend you’re not there. I’ve watched and I’ve listened.”

Had he? She didn’t remember that distinctive hairstyle anywhere near her until now.

“They say things around you they won’t say around me. They say things they think you’re too far away to hear, but I see the expression on your face when they say something disparaging about Kili. You hear them just fine. Start paying more attention. Help me find who’s behind the attempts on the consort’s life. Help me stop any attacks that may be coming.”

“You need a spy,” she said bluntly, her eyebrows lifting minutely.

He grinned at her. “You’ll be the first of many,” he promised. “No one will suspect the court’s spymaster’s top agent to be the resident banished elf.”

The reminder of her status in Thranduil’s court left a bitter taste in her mouth. But he had a point. Who would willingly trust an elf near the royal family of what was once the greatest kingdom in all Arda and had the potential to be the greatest kingdom once again? “You’re insane,” she told him, even as a small smile pulled at the corners of her lips. “I’ll listen. How should I report to you?”

“Currently, I can usually be found lurking near the royal family. If I see you there without being on Kili’s arm, I’ll know to come talk to you. I’ll also check in with you on your nightly watches outside the store rooms.”

She opened her mouth to say something and then paused. “You had a hand in that, didn’t you?”

He flashed a smile at her. “Now what makes you think I would have any influence with the Captain?” he asked and secreted his knife away before stuffing his hands in his pockets. “Good luck with finding other work,” he said and walked away, the picture of nonchalance and ease. The way he walked, the way he moved. Nori was dangerous. She was sure of it. How had they ever captured him in Mirkwood?

~*~*~

Only dwarrow were allowed in the throne room for the coronation. Knowing how much dwarrow liked their secrets, it didn’t really bother Tauriel, except for one thing. She’d done as Nori asked and listened. She needed to get to the throne room as quickly as possible and warn him of what she’d heard. The only problem was-

“Where do you think you’re going, Tree-shagger?”

Every single dwarf in the mountain wanted to waylay her.

She dodged the latest dwarf to grab at her. She needed to find Nori immediately.

“Here lass. What’s the rush?”

Tauriel paused in her near dash toward the throne room. She knew that voice. Glancing to the side, she saw a familiar hat topping an equally familiar dwarf beneath it.

“Master Bofur,” she said and relief pushed the breath she’d been preparing to use to shout at someone out in a sigh. “Do you happen to know where Master Nori is?”

“Nori?” Bofur asked, tipping his head to the side. “Last I saw of him, he was-”

“Did I just hear someone taking my name in vain?”

“Lurking right behind me.” Bofur turned. “Nori! Tauriel’s been looking for you.”

Nori’s eyebrows rose a bit. “So I hear,” he said, his smirk making his beard twitch a bit. “Thanks Bofur.”

Bofur glanced between Nori and Tauriel, shrugged, and went on his way. The moment he was out of sight, Tauriel caught Nori’s sleeve and pulled him to the side.

“What do you have for me?” Nori asked.

“Bilbo’s crown is a fake. Gilded with gold leaf. Iron beneath. You’ll have a hard time telling the difference.”

Nori’s eyes narrowed as he looked up at the ceiling. His knife reappeared and he flipped it across his knuckles absently. “Treason, huh? I’d heard whispers. Just didn’t think anyone was fool enough to actually do it. Have any names?”

Tauriel shook her head. “No, but the dwarf you’re looking for has red hair, part of his left ear missing at the top, and speaks like a noble.”

“That narrows it down a bit. Got anything else?”

Tauriel thought back to the dwarf she’d stumbled on while patrolling the halls around the little-used private smithies. He’d had his back to her while he covered the false crown in gold leaf. She didn’t want to alert him to her presence after all but he had turned toward the doorway just as she prepared to leave. “Brown eyes,” she said. “Heavy brows. Looked like his beard might have been cut a bit during the battle. The right side seemed a bit shorter than the left.”

“Why didn’t you say so?” Nori asked. “Well done. Keep your ears open for more little tidbits.” With that, he turned and…

Disappeared. Confused, Tauriel went over to where she’d last been able to see Nori. Her hands met solid wall without any imperfections that she could see. Did dwarrow know magic?

With nothing more to do, Tauriel headed back towards the royal wing. She was still trying to decide if Thorin had gifted her rooms there out of gratitude for the healing she’d done for him and his nephews, because Kili had asked him to (she’d never asked Kili if he’d gone to his uncle or not), or because Thorin wanted her in his sight as often as possible.

Whatever the reason, she couldn’t help but feel grateful. Enough dwarrow glared balefully at her on a regular basis. She didn’t want that when she first stepped out of her apartment. Home? Did she consider those rooms within Erebor her home now? She thought of the rooms she had in the barracks back in Mirkwood. Her belongings would still be in there, possibly. Or maybe someone had destroyed them after news of her banishment had gotten out. She’d have to ask next time someone from Mirkwood came to the mountain. Perhaps Legolas-

If she hadn’t been musing on what had happened to her few personal belongings, she would have had a lot more warning than she did. She almost ran straight into the dwarf trying to pick the lock on the currently unoccupied king’s rooms.

He hadn’t heard her though. Sloppy and unobservant.

Bemoaning her new lack of free time, Tauriel stepped up behind the dwarf, drew one of her knives and settled the tip of it against the dwarf’s back. No armor. No lookout. So very sloppy.

Who trained these dwarrow anyway?

It didn’t matter. Only made her life easier.

“What business have you in the king’s quarters?” she asked. No reason to announce that Thorin hadn’t moved into them with Bilbo.

The dwarf snarled something in khuzdul.

“I was under the impression that you weren’t supposed to use the dwarfen language in the presence of outsiders,” she remarked idly and applied a little more pressure with her knife.

“Go shag a tree,” the dwarf snapped.

“You’ll need new material if you think insults are going to make me leave you be,” Tauriel told him.

The dwarf lunged forward, trying to get out of her reach. She stepped with him, grabbed a fistful of his doublet, and slammed him into the door he’d just been trying to unlock. With him pinned, she started going through his pockets. She found a small assortment of weapons.

“You should take lessons from the crown prince,” she told him. “He’s far more adept at hiding blades on his person.” She continued searching and found other sharp, pointy objects as well as a garot. “Going by your assassin’s toolkit, I’ll just assume you’re here to kill the king or his consort.”

The dwarf growled something unintelligible.

“What was that?” Tauriel asked. “I couldn’t understand you with your face smashed against the woodwork.” She hauled him away from the door and started frogmarching him toward the guardhouse.

“You’re robbing me of my free time,” she told the dwarf. “I’d planned to relax during the coronation but you’ve just ruined that.”

The dwarf shouted wordlessly and twisted in her grip. She let him go. If he was going to take away her time to have a long, proper soak in the lovely heated bath in her rooms (Eru bless dwarrow engineering), he might as well provide her with the entertainment of a good fight.

He charged her, the slim, short blade she’d purposely let him keep held in a reverse grip. He slashed at her and she stepped back, out of his reach. With the same motion, she swung and hit him on the side of the head with an open palm. More a challenge than an attack really. Pent up energy not released in the training grounds roiled beneath her skin almost constantly and she finally, finally, had a chance to do something with it.

He cursed at her in khuzdul.

Tauriel tsked at him. “Keep that up and I’ll have to report you to the king.”

“The king will thank me for gutting you like the bi-”

She lunged and jabbed her fist into his stomach, just below his ribcage. He wheezed and coughed, the wind knocked clean from his lungs. He bent double but tried to keep his head up and his knife out to warn her away from him.

She kicked at his hand and the blade spun across the marble floor.

Unarmed, the dwarf panicked. He lunged into her, trying to take her down by hitting her low. She sidestepped at the last second and brought her knee up into his midsection again. Bones cracked against her leg. She swung both fists down, hitting him between his shoulder blades even as he fell to the floor. He didn’t get back up again.

She bent and checked him over. He breathed and his heart still beat, but she had a feeling she’d hit him too hard. His pulse raced harder than the fight called for it too, short as it had been, and he breathed too hard as well.

She cursed under her breath. After tying his hands together behind his back, she hoisted him over her shoulder and left for the guardhouse.

Nori beat her there, dragging in the dwarf she’d seen creating the false crown. She waited for Nori to settle his captive before drawing attention to herself and her burden.

Nori shut the door that separated the guardhouse from the cells. “What do we have here?” he asked and pulled on her captive’s hair until he could see his face. “Oh good. You found him. Where?”

“Trying to enter King Thror’s old rooms,” she said. “I found these on him.” She pulled the weapons she’d confiscated off the dwarf out of her belt and dumped them on a table.

Picking through the pile, Nori nodded. “I knew he wasn’t the soldier he claimed to be,” he said. “Couldn’t decide if he was a common thief or something more though. Good work. Leave him with me. I’ll make sure the right people know he’s here.”

Relief coursed through her. “Thank you,” she said. “I’d really rather not draw attention to myself.”

He smirked at her. “No worries on that one lass. Everyone wants you to not be here so you’ll have the freedom to move. I’ll not be jeopardizing that any time soon. You’ll be useful until you marry your prince.” He reached up to take her burden from her. “Off you go now. Enjoy some free time assuming you don’t find any more would-be assassins lurking somewhere in the royal wing.”

Tauriel inclined her head in acknowledgement of his unspoken request before doing as he said. Perhaps she’d still have time for her bath after all.

~*~*~

Kili greeted Tauriel with a short kiss a few weeks later.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as he took her hand and they started walking toward the training grounds.

“Why would anything be wrong, Amrâlimê?”

Tauriel stopped and waited for him to look at her. When he did, she just raised an eyebrow at him. His shoulders slumped.

“It’s nothing,” he said even as he looked down and to the side. “I just feel like Fili’s avoiding me is all. He’s been busy lately with his new duties now that being crown prince actually matters.”

Tauriel touched Kili’s shoulder gently and he looked up at her eyes again. “I do not have any family,” she said. “I don’t understand your pain or frustration in this. Can I help in any way?”

Kili relaxed a little under her touch. He looked up at her with a small, sweet smile and with his eyebrows drawn together and lifted slightly. His expression coupled with his perpetually disheveled hair lent him the air of a puppy and a feeling of ease settled into Tauriel.

“I thank Mahal every day at least once for bringing you to me,” Kili told her and took her hands. “Having you with me is all I could ever ask or I would be too greedy.”

Tauriel huffed a laugh. “You silly dwarf,” she said and bent to tap her forehead to his. She still didn’t quite understand why the gesture meant something to dwarrow, but it made Kili happy, so she did it.

“Amrâlimê,” he murmured and smiled that sweet, puppy grin again. Together, they went to breakfast and ate with those members of the Company that weren’t already up and about their own duties that day. Fili came in late, sat at the far end of the table, wolfed down a small breakfast while going over some document or other, and then limped his way out of the hall as fast as his crutches could carry him.

Tauriel wouldn’t have even noted him if Kili hadn’t mentioned something already. As it was, she was fairly certain she was the only one that noted the golden prince’s pained glance he directed at Kili.

If asking for help with his brother made Kili feel too greedy in the eyes of his Maker, then she would just take matters into her own hands.

First, though, she had guard duty. Down by the little used public workshops and storerooms. Again.

When she finally resurfaced from her duties hours later (not a soul in sight the entire time), she managed to track Fili down in the newly cleaned and repaired kitchens. He sat at a small table set to the side with a small plate in front of him, nothing but pastry crumbs left on it. She sat across from him without preamble.

“Captain Tauriel,” Fili said, startling slightly when she first entered his line of vision. He glanced around. “Is, ah, Kili with you?”

“As long as I am banished from the Greenwood, I cannot be a captain of their guard.” She settled her hands on the table, clasping them together as she leveled Fili with the most level look she could muster. “Would it be a problem if he were with me?” she asked mildly.

She must not have kept her tone even enough. Fili’s eyes widened a little and one of his hands shifted, his fingers touching the cuff of his coat, reaching for a hidden knife. She resisted the urge to frown. She’d thought she could trust Fili. Maybe she’d been a bit misguided in that. She kept his hands in her periphery, just in case she needed to avoid a thrown dagger at any moment.

“No,” Fili hedged. “Why would there be?”

She ignored him. “Then perhaps you’ve truly been too busy to see him and are now trying to find him.”

He visibly flinched, turning his gaze away from her as he ducked his chin guiltily toward his right shoulder. His fingers continued to toy with the cuff of his sleeve. She could see his finger rubbing against the hilt of the knife there. Easily reached, but he still didn’t draw it. A nervous tick perhaps?

She took pity on him when he didn’t look up after a few moments. “He misses you.”

Fili’s shoulders rose closer to his ears and his frown deepened.

“Why do you avoid him?” She asked curiously. “He wants nothing more than to help you and be at your side as he always has been.”

“But he wouldn’t be at my side, would he?” Fili asked quietly once one of the few kitchen workers bustled by with a tray of fresh apple turnovers. The smell wafted over them and Fili paled and went a bit green beneath his moustache and beard. He swallowed visibly. “He’d be in front of me. I can’t keep up with him anymore.”

“Your Highness?”

Fili scrubbed at his face and muttered something into his palms she couldn’t understand. When he finally pulled his hands away he looked up at her with eyes so different from Kili’s but with a familiarity to them it almost hurt at the anguish lining them, pulling at the corners of his mouth, drawing his skin tight and leaving him slightly pale. “I’ve always been there. His big brother. Always immovable and invincible. Now look at me.” He tapped the crutches that lay on the table next to him, close to the wall. “I can’t even walk.”

Tauriel took a moment to weigh her words carefully. She knew his recent relapse in his recovery ate at him. It would eat at her too if she’d been in his situation, finally walking with a cane only to aggravate the injury and be put on bed rest for days again. He’d only climbed out of his bed a week before.“I was told what you said when you refused to join your uncle when he first traveled from Esgaroth to the mountain. ‘I belong with my brother.’ Perhaps, just as you stayed by his side when he needed help, he only desires to be beside you in your recovery.”

His hand dropped to his leg and he rubbed at it absently, a grimace pulling the lines around his eyes deeper. Something about his expression nudged at something in the back of her mind. She knew that look, but from where?

“I’ll talk to him,” Fili said and his fingers came away from the hilt of the knife up his sleeve. “I’m sorry, Lady Tauriel. I’m sure he hasn’t been the easiest to deal with the last little bit. I know he can be a bit manic when he’s agitated or upset.”

“Don’t apologize to me, unless it’s for calling me ‘Lady’,” she admonished with a half smile. “I love Kili and enjoy every side of him.”

Fili propped his chin in his hand and smirked. “Is that what it’s like to find your One?” he asked. “To understand every little nuannce and bit of insanity your other half deals out to you?”

Movement behind Fili caught her attention. “You tell me,” Tauriel said with a smile and climbed to her feet. “Kili will be early to the council meeting this afternoon.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fili demanded as he reached for his crutches.

“Your Highness?”

Tauriel just smirked when Fili almost fell over when he twisted in surprise. Bard’s eldest daughter stood behind him with one eyebrow raised and an amused smile playing at her lips. Perhaps Kili was right after all. She would need to find Nori and add her own coin to the betting.

~*~*~

Kili found her that evening as she stood on top of the wall and stared at the latest snowfall. He came and stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face into her back. She placed her hand over his and continued to scan for lurking orcs.

“Thank you,” Kili murmured after a time.

“I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re referring to,” she said and leaned back a bit, letting him take some of her weight. He shifted and came to stand beside her, one of his arms still wrapped around her back. He leaned his head on her shoulder and stared out at the snow. She draped her arm across his shoulders and he reached up to lace their fingers together.

“Will you help?” he asked. “I know you’re trying to stay busy when I’m not able to be around. Do you think you could help in the infirmary? Maybe see if Oin has anything you can do to help Fili along with his healing?”

Apprehension flared in her stomach, making it twist a little. “I’m not sure the good healer will allow me to assist in anything within his domain.”

Kili snorted. “After what you did to save me, twice now, I’m pretty sure he’ll listen to just about any suggestions you may have.”

She hummed absently. “I’d like to learn more about dwarfish medicine. Perhaps he wouldn’t mind an exchange of techniques.”

“Playing on his intellectual side. I love it when you’re crafty.”

She shook slightly with suppressed laughter. “I’m hardly crafty. I honestly wish to learn.”

“Of course you do,” Kili said and pulled her hand to his lips.

Valentine’s Day

Request: Could I have on where reader is a high ranking marine and is the middle Queen child. She's a complete badass and tomboy who is in a secret relationship with Sara Lance. During Christmas she and Sara are underneath the mistole toe. And the two kiss each other and it turns rather heated, not smutty. And when the break Sara and Reader laugh at everyone's reaction of pure shock. Bonus points if you get Oliver and Thea trying to give the sibling talk to Sara. With Laurel not from doing the same

Disclaimer: I don’t own any of these characters.

A/N: This was supposed to be written for Christmas however I forgot that this was in my list, so I did get confirmation that I could modify it for Valentines Day. I hope this is good I tried to add in some fun interactions. 

Sara Lance x Queen!reader

Finally, a break from work, it had been three years since you last saw your family. Thea had since moved from Star City, Oliver had gone to jail for six months, gotten married and gained a child. Felicity was still Felicity and your brother's team was all over the place. However, you were more excited to see your girlfriend, Sara. No one from either team knew that the two of you were dating.

Your airplane lands an hour before you told Thea to come and get you so you have a little bit of time to shop in the gift store. You look for an anniversary gift for Sara. You stop and stare at a jewelry shop on the third floor of the airport. You check the time on your watch, you have somewhere between twenty to thirty minutes before Thea picks you up.

“Excuse me sir, how much is this,” you ask eyeing a piece of jewelry in the case.

“Um, that one is close to two thousand,” the man says looking at the piece that caught your eye.

“Hmm, that’s not too much,” you mumble to yourself looking at the time again. “Do you mind if I continue to look around and come back to you when I’m ready?”

“Absolutely,” the man says walking back his original spot overlooking the small store.

You look around some more before checking the clock and nodding to yourself. The clerk walks back over to you.

“This one,” he asks and you nod. “Will you be paying with a card, cash or check?”

“Card,” you say reaching into your pocket for your wallet.

After paying you head to the parking lot where your sister is just stepping out of her car.

“Oof, late again,” you joke holding your free hand over your heart.

“Oh shut up and give me a hug,” Thea laughs wrapping her arms around you.

“Oh I missed you,” you say hugging her tight. “So much has happened in the time I was away to people still use the telephone?” You laugh at your joke and Thea cracks a bigger smile.

“Dork,” she grabs one of your bags and putting it in the back seat. “Come on we have a party to get to.”

You get in the car with Thea who starts reminiscing about the past when you and her used to team with Oliver.

“Oh remember that time you almost died and I had to snap the guys neck just so he wouldn’t hurt you,” you chuckle.

“That wasn’t funny. I didn’t even know legs could snap someones neck,” Thea says her eyes wide.

“Yeah my thighs were killing me for days after that,” you say looking out the window. “So who exactly is going to be at this party you and Ollie are throwing?”

Thea eyes you carefully as she continues driving. “Um, just some friends of ours that we’ve met over the years,” she says tapping her fingers against the steering wheel. “You’ll like Kara and Alex. Alex works for the DEO she’s pretty kick-ass from my understanding. Kara is an alien, she’s pretty awesome. Sara said she was coming I know that. Um, Team Flash is coming. So, yeah others will be there too.”

You look over at your sister,” you guys met an alien without me?”

“Um,” Thea mulls over her response,” yeah.”

Laughing you take out your phone.

“So tell me Colonel what’s it been like for you? Being away from family I mean.”

You breathe in deeply. “It wasn’t fun. I missed you guys. But I know that I did all that for a good cause. They plan on stationing me at home to recruit and train others before sending me off again.” You fidget with your hands for a moment before continuing,” it’s not fun out there speedy. It’s hard and I mean we’ve dealt with minor things compared to what’s going on over there.”

Thea nods,” well at least your home in one piece.”

You nod.

“You’re still single right,” Thea asks.

“Why do you want to know,” you look her over with a arched eyebrow.

“It’s Valentine’s Day,” Thea says as you reach Star City.

“What are you getting at Thea,” you ask with an eye roll.

“You should have a date for Valentine’s Day,” Thea states coming to a stop at a red light.

“Thea I’m happy with being where I’m at in my romantic life.” Your tone tells Thea that you no longer want to have this conversation.

“Fine, I’ll let it go,” Thea says as the light turns green. “But only for now.”

The rest of the ride is stuck in a comfortable silence. Thea parks the car and grabs one of your bags.

“Come on Colonel,” Thea shouts over her shoulder.

Sighing you get out and grab the last bag, following her to the elevator you look at the new building your brother is living in.

The moment you’re elevator opens a teenage boy runs up to you and hugs you. You spot Felicity coming to greet you.

“Sorry Y/N, William got excited when he heard you were coming,” Felicity smiles embracing you in a tight hug.

“No worries.” You turn your attention back to the young boy. “So you’re the one I’ve heard so much about. I’m Y/N, but these guys call me Legolas or Colonel.”

“Why Legolas,” William asks as he walks with you to the apartment.

“My favorite book was Lord of the Rings and so I took archery classes when I got into high school. But before that I asked my mom if I could take private archery lessons which she allowed. When your dad came back from the island I decided to use what I was learning in archery class to help him and the name sort of stuck after that,” you shrug.

“And then Y/N joined the Marines and worked her way to Colonel so now we call her Colonel,” Thea says clapping you on your shoulder.

Oliver greets you when you walk through the door,” hey kiddo. How was the flight?”

“Theres literally only a five year age difference man,” you shake your head in disgust at being called a kid. “My flight was fine. How was prison?”

The smile that was once on Oliver’s face has dropped and you chuckle.

“Prison was prison,” Oliver sighs. “Your room is just down the hall over there.”

Nodding you take your bag from Thea and head to the room.

A few hours later your socializing with a variety of people. Of to the side you can see the one person you’ve been wanting to see all night. You excuse yourself from the group and walk over to them.

“Hey Colonel,” Sara says. “I’ve missed you.”

You smile,” I’ve missed you too Lance.” A slower song comes on and you hold out your hand,” dance with me?”

Sara takes your hand as you lead her to the dance floor.

“I have to tell you something,” you say quietly looking into her eyes.

She looks at you with a questioning look.

“I don’t want to keep us a secret. Don’t get me wrong I totally get why we should, bu if Thea or Felicity send me one more letter or call me one more time about-” You’re cut off by Sara’s lips on yours. You grin and kiss her back. The room has gone silent but you don’t care you gently cup Sara’s face and deepen the kiss.

“Wait so you’re not single,” you here Thea and Felicity say at the same time. You break the kiss with a smirk.

“Nope,” you turn to Oliver and spot Laurel off in the corner behind him glaring at you. Oliver is trying awkwardly to be everywhere but here.  Everyone else from both teams is either exchanging money or in pure shock. Thea and Felicity share a look before walking away sipping their drinks as Laurel comes up to you. “You were just over-”

“Kitchen now,” Laurel growls.

Your eyes widen as you do what your told.

You can see Sara and Oliver going over to Thea and Felicity.

“I don’t know you on this Earth but on my Earth you’re such a fuckboy.”

“I’m a what now,” you’re a taken aback by the use of the term. “I don’t have a peni-”

Laurel gives you a look.

“Right, I act like a fuckboy on your Earth, please continue.”

“If you even think about hurting her or sleeping with anyone else I will hunt you down and you will wish you never laid hands on her do you understand.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you are very similar to our Laurel except you’re a lot more aggressive, I like it” you say with a smile. “Are we done now or would you like to tell me the different ways you could kill me?”

Laurel rolls her eyes,” fuck off, Queen.”

You laugh before walking off. Sara meets you halfway before you both start laughing. “Don’t tell me Ollie gave you the talk.”

“Oh please, Thea did most of the talk then Felicity. Oliver looked like he wanted to crawl into a cave the entire time. Thea and Felicity agreed that if I hurt you in anyway they will one report me to the Time Masters, kill me, revive me somehow and then kill me again. How’d it go with Laurel?”

“I like this Laurel she’s aggressive. It’s a little scary but its such a turn on.” You feel Sara punch you in the shoulder,” ow, it was a joke the Lance women are scary and I like it. Besides Laurel has nothing on an assassin like you. Wait how are they even supposed to catch you when you’re an assassin.”

Sara shurgs,” Don’t worry Colonel they won’t hurt me cause I don’t plan on hurting you.”

You laugh handing her the medium box you had in your pocket.

“What’s this,” Sara asks taking the box. She opens it to find a necklace.

“I asked Felicity that if you liked it if she’d be willing to add some extra tech to it so if you get bored or lonely or something that you can always see a hologram of me and vice versa,” you say helping her to put it on.

“I think that would be great, so maybe next Valentine’s Day if I don’t get a chance to see you in person I can see you,” Sara smiles before taking your face and kissing you again.

~Childhood Crushes Tag Game~

Thanks for the tag, @girlierest​! ✨

Rules: list at least 5 fictional or celebrity crushes you had as a kid. Be sure to include pictures. Incriminate yourself for your friends amusement!

Tagging @blossomoranges​, @yeshasays​, @ikesenmotonari​,  @kamesama​​, @impracticaldemon​, @lordbunshin​ and anyone else that wants to do this too!

Given that my finding out I’m ace-spectrum happened a little later in life, it makes a little more sense to me that some of my crushes happened in my mid to late teens or finding I had more squishes than actual crushes (a squish is like a crush, but it’s more platonic in nature rather than romantic like crushes are), or just admiring peeps that I thought were either relatable or just pretty to look at.

So, I might go over the minimum 5 since I’m including the squishes, the relatable, and the just too frickin pretty to exist too.

So, see you guys below the cut!

-----

So, the ones I’ve probably talked about multiple times by now:

Anime John Conner, AKA Trunks, Dragonball Z I liked the long haired version in particular, because I had a thing for guys for long hair, apparently. (Still do, what am I talking about). This is the era where I bought bargain VHS tapes and DVDs, pretty much anything that had an anime-ish style, it was bought. Thus how I was introduced to this purple-haired hero, both as a VHS copy of History of Trunks, as well as one of my first DVDs being the 3 episodes where he’s first introduced (slice and dice Freeza, baby!), and I was gone. He set up my love for guys with long hair and swords.

Hotohori, Fushigi Yuugi SPEAKING OF GUYS WITH LONG HAIR AND SWORDS! It’s my precursor to MysMe’s Zen, Hotohori! He was also discovered in the bargain bin VHS days, only not as happily as I found Trunks. The first episode I got to first experience Hotohori were the episodes where he’s dying.

Yes, really. Maybe my thing is long haired sword boys that make me cry. Watching that scene made me feel for a character I didn’t even know yet, and that’s some powerful storytelling there.

Squall Leonhart, FF8 Baby’s first Final Fantasy game at the wee age of 16, Squall stole my heart while being the relatable quiet kid that talked more in their head than to others.

Legolas, Lord of the Rings Because who wasn’t at least a little in love with Legolas in 2004? Baby’s first RP husbando.

~~Now, the Squishes~~

Ryou Bakura, Yugioh! THE BABE! THE LEGEND! MY FAVORITE SQUISH! He’s been with me since my beginning writing and RP days way back in 2003. Series didn’t give him as much love as probably deserved in favor for his... companion, but I love him and was excited whenever he showed up.

Hinata Hyuuga, Naruto. I’ll be honest, the main reason I even watched Naruto was for her (and a little bit because of Gaara too, if I’m being really honest). I pretty much quit with Naruto after the first arc of Shippuden, only briefly peeking in when there were a couple of episodes dedicated to Naruto meeting his parents, and like half the Last movie (the one where it’s supposed to supplement Naruto and Hinata’s relationship growing into a romantic one), but my computer had a heart attack about half way through it, and I’ve been too scared to finish it since. I related to her being soft-spoken and not being good at expressing herself, I wanted to hug her and be her best friend. 

Nuriko, Fushigi Yuugi I’m still mad I missed Nuriko the first time around, as he was one of the first major characters to die in Fushigi Yuugi (Hotohori was the last, outside of bad guys), so I didn’t get to experience this wonderful person until I got more of the series (thankfully, next vhs tapes were from the first episodes and I got introduced to this treasure). And, honestly, who wouldn’t want a huge rock/column throwing friend at your side?

Princess Jasmine, Aladdin More specifically, the Aladdin TV series. I was excited whenever there was a Jasmine-centric episode when I was kid.

~~Now, the Too Pretty to Exist Category~~

Yue, Cardcaptor Sakura. Just... look at this mystical fucker.

Sesshomaru, Inuyasha Again, look at him! I used to watch the second ending of the series for hours just so I could watch that long hair and that fluff blowing in the breeze.

Kurama, Yu Yu Hakusho Him and his Fox form. My main interest stirred from RP as my partner then played both as a separate entity. He’s more a passing interest than anything. Still pretty tho.

You are mine, mine to me; Loki x child reader pt.1

Here’s a nice little crossover fic for you guys. Inspired by the clips that came out just before the 2016 The Jungle Book came to theaters the scene where Raksha talks to mowgli as he leaves the pack had me in tears when I first saw it and I thought “God this would be Loki if he had to give up his child to their rightful parents” and so this was born. I do NOT own Loki, Thor, Legolas or Thranduil they each belong to either Marvel or Tolkien.

Part 2

Taglist:

@evyiione

________________________________________________________

During a peace treaty visit through Vanaheim, Thor, Loki, Lady Sif and the Warriors 3 were speaking with the high council who just happened to be Hogun’s father.  They spent over 2 hours discussing their treaty between their realms as well as discussing about the invaders that had threatened to strike any day now.  Completely bored with all this political stuff, Loki illusioned himself out without anyone noticing and now appeared in the forests of Vanaheim.

As he walked around the clear his head, the silence of the woods was broken by a strange sound. He had heard crying and it sounded close by.  Loki went to investigate and soon came across a small baby.  She was wrapped up in a blanket but to his horror it was stained in blood.  He didn’t know why he did what he did next but his heart was telling him to take care of the child and heal her from this pain.

Once he picked her up, her crying seemed to diminish and she just looked up and whimpered at him with red teary eyes.  Loki removed the blanket hoping he wouldn’t find what he was thinking of what would be there, fortunately there was no wound but the child was practically freezing to the touch.

“How long were you out here little one? Poor child you’re half frozen”.  He then took his green cape and wrapped it around the child for extra warmth as she whimpered softly.  “Shhhh, shhh, it’s okay, it’s okay”.  Once she was wrapped up nice and snug, he gently rocked her close to his chest and said, “How did you get way out here?” As he looked down at the child who was now cooing happily up at him, he began to think if she had been abandoned by her parents? If not then were they dead and she was taken for ransom?

Either way he found the child so she was his responsibility now.  Plus looking down at her so happy filled Loki with something he thought he had lost long ago when his jealousy for Thor had overcame him.

Happiness and love.

He smiled down at the baby and he held her close and whispered softly to her.

“I promise you, whatever life you’ve had before, will be forgotten. I’ll take care of you as if you were my own, my sweet little dove”. Loki kissed her forehead and the baby yawned tiredly and snuggled into Loki’s chest gripping some of his armor with her tiny hands.  His heart seem to just melt at the sight of her and he couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he held her closer to him and rocked her softly.

Meanwhile back at the Vanaheim council palace, the Asgardians left the building and Thor said.

“Wait, has anyone seen my brother?” Lady Sif and the Warriors 3 looked around and Volstagg exclaimed.

“Damn, now he’s probably causing some trouble and soon we’ll be at war and lose another allied realm”.

“Easy Volstagg, I know Loki is one for tricks but he couldn’t possibly be thinking of something like that here”. Fandral stated.

“Never the less we must find him before something does happen” Lady Sif said.  Then speak of the Devil, Loki had appeared out of the woods holding the something in his cape.

“Brother! Oh thank Valhalla you’re alright!” Thor exclaimed.

“Brother please! Anymore louder and you’ll wake her up!”

“Who up? Loki what is this about?” Lady Sif asked.

“Well, I went to clear off my head and through the woods I heard her crying and half frozen, so I couldn’t just leave her there to perish alone”.  Loki then lowered his arms so that the five other Asgardians could see the baby in Loki’s arms.

“Loki! Are you mad? What if this child has a family? You can’t just take her!” Fandral exclaimed softly as to not wake the child.

“As I said before I found her alone in the woods, there were no parents around, no bodies, just her freezing with only rags to cover her with”.

“Are you sure there was no one around?” Volstagg asked.

“Yes, I waited for a good hour, no one came for her”.

“What do you think of this Hogun?” Thor asked.

“No one in my homeland has reported a baby missing, maybe she really was abandoned by someone who might’ve came here thinking since this realm is filled with woods, that the child could stay here and perish to the elements. I will run it by my father and we’ll find out about this, you all should return back to Asgard and speak to the All-Father about this matter”.  It was then decided.

The four of them called for Heimdell to open the Bifrost and soon they vanished from Vanaheim’s world and soon appeared at the gates of the Bifrost. As they arrived, Heimdell then said.

“My princes, the All-Father has been informed of what has happened, he wishes to meet with you all straight away”.

“Then we haven’t time to spare, we ride with haste!” Thor proclaimed.  They saddled back on their horses and rode across the rainbow bridge back to the golden city of Asgard.

They entered in the throne room to see King Odin sitting on his throne with Queen Frigga at his side.

“I’ve been told you have found a baby, Loki?”

“Yes father, abandoned in the woods freezing, I still fear she might be sick, she still feels as cold as Jotunheim itself no matter how tight I wrap my cape around her”.

“Get her to the healing wing”. It was then Frigga, Odin, Thor, Loki and the warriors soon ran off towards the healing wing and soon the baby was soon prepped for a check-up. After a couple of hours, the baby’s temperature began to rise signaling that she would live another day.

“Who would dare leave a baby so small to die alone?” Loki snarled angry at the parents of this child as he sat by the bedside they now had her in. Odin and Frigga looked at each other, then Odin said.

“It matters not, if she was abandoned then that makes her your responsibility now Loki. You will raise this child and give her the love she deserves”.

“Yes father”.  Loki said as he turned to his father then back to the child and held her tiny hand in hers.  As the others left him alone with his new daughter, Loki leaned forward and kissed her forehead and vowed, “I promise, I won’t let anything happen to you nor let anyone take you away from me. (Y/n). For you are mine, mine to me”.

Later that night after being released to Loki’s request, the head healer pulled aside the All-Father just before he retired for the night on some news about the child.

“All-Father, I had run some tests on the child’s blood sample and I have discovered that this is no ordinary child. This girl is of Álfheimr”.

“What?”

“Not only that, but this child—my king—this is the child of your old friend Thranduil”. Odin was shocked as he looked up at see the visuals of this child’s bloodline that was shown before him.

“That’s not possible. The crib was burned alive nothing but ash remained. This can’t be his child!”

“I know it’s been 100 years since the supposed death of his daughter, but this is his child, I’ve run both blood of the child’s DNA and of Thranduil’s. And they do in fact match up. She is 100% his child”.  Odin remained silent then he said.

“This does not get out, not until I say so. Let Loki raise the child and when she is older, we’ll take her back to her real father”.

“Yes my King”. As she left, Odin continue to stare at the DNA matches of his old friend and of the child’s and it was still in fact the same.

“Old friend, you no longer need to grieve any longer, I shall return your child to you, when she is good and ready”.

*900 years later 1st POV from here on out*

I was crouched down beneath the grass in the gardens eyeing my dad who was perched up against a tree reading one of his books, having no suspicion of me behind him ready to pounce.  I stalked closer to him and readied myself for the attack.  I growled playfully then leaped out from the grass but what I didn’t expect was that dad turned around and caught me in his arms and pinned me down to the floor.  I playfully struggled as he said.

“Well, well what have we here? A wild beast trying to hunt me?” I then shapeshifted into a small wolf cub and playfully gripped onto my daddy’s sleeve of his armor with my teeth growling showing him that I was predator and he was prey.  “Oh, so that’s how you want to play huh? Well then my dear, you picked the wrong God to hunt” it was then daddy turned into a large black wolf and soon he chased me around the gardens until he caught up to me and picked me up by the scruff of my neck.

I barked as he walked me back over to the tree he was at before and gently set me down and pinned me down softly as I shifted back to my normal form but daddy remained a wolf pinning me down by my shoulders.

“And I thought I would’ve gotten you for sure, it isn’t fair!” I whined.

‘God of Mischief darling, never assume I’m not listening, plus you still make too much noise before you pounce’. He spoke to me through our minds. I turned and pouted sourly then daddy said, ‘now darling, you know how I feel when you pout, you better smile or else the deserving punishment will come’ he grinned wolfishly. But it was too late as I was now being licked by my father wolf in my most ticklish spot, my neck.

I laughed and tried to get as far away as I could from him but I soon succumbed to laughter from my dad’s wolf tickling.  After a while he let me up and shifted back to normal and held me in his arms.

“Oh how I love your sweet laugh my little one”.

“You say that about everything about me daddy”.

“But I speak of it because it’s true. I love everything about you my dear”.  He kissed my forehead gingerly and he perched back up against the tree and grabbed his book and began reading it.  I love it when he reads to me, his voice is always so lulling and when he reads the character’s words, he brings them to life by speaking in different voices based on the character’s actions or physical appearance described in the book. 

That night, dad and I were in my bedroom sitting on my bed and I was holding my doll while ada was brushing my hair with a gentle hand.  I looked at the mirror just a few feet away from my bed and took notice that while papa was brushing my hair, he made sure that it was pulled back revealing my pointed ears.  I shamefully looked down from the mirror and fiddled with my doll.

“Daddy, please don’t brush that far back”.

“Why not?” He asked as he stopped for a moment. I slowly raised my hands up to cover my pointed ears embarrassed and ashamed.  “Darling, why are you covering up your ears?”

“Because they look like mule’s ears and I should eat hay!” Daddy knelt down in front of me and said as he gently removed my hands from my ears.

“Where is this coming from?”

“All the kids in town say it, I never made fun of their faces, why do I have these ears? They’re not normal, I’m not normal”.

“(Y/n) Lokidottir, don’t you ever say that about yourself!” Father snapped at me.  I flinched frightenedly, seeing him get mad scares me so I try not to make him angry but now I guess I’ll be feeling his wrath now.  “Darling, look at me”.  I slowly raised my head up to look at him and he continued this time in a softer tone, “those peasants don’t know who exactly they are insulting, if you tell me who they were, I’ll be glad to let them know to never insult royalty ever again”.

“No daddy, I don’t want to be in any more trouble than I already am”.

“You’re not in trouble though, but I understand why you won’t tell me their names, you’ve got such a kind heart and a good soul. And as for your ears, they are not like a mule’s ears. They are what make you, you. And you are one beautiful young girl who will soon grow up to become a beautiful young woman who I will need to defend with my life from the boys who will try to win her hand in courtship one day”. I giggled as he chuckled softly. He then leaned his forehead against mine as our usual affectionate gesture and finished off with, “not only that but you are my daughter, and I will always love you no matter what”.

He then picked me up and placed me further up my bed towards my pillows and tucked me in with my doll right next to me.  He leaned forward and kissed my forehead lovingly and said.

“Goodnight my sweet little dove”.

“Goodnight daddy”.  He then blew out my candle and quietly shut my door leaving me to finally fall asleep.

The next morning, daddy and I were just leaving to the dining area after having some breakfast when one of the guards summoned daddy to the throne room to speak with grandpa and grandma.  As daddy set me down he said.

“Okay darling, why don’t you go ahead into my room and just make yourself comfortable there before we begin your next magic lesson”.

“Okay daddy hurry back”.

“Patience my young sorceress” he kissed my forehead gingerly then gently patted my back gesturing me to leave for his room while he left with the guard to the throne room. 

I got out daddy’s magic books and readied myself for our next magic lesson, teleporting. After what felt like forever (a/n you all still thinking a couple of minutes is like an eternity, esp. for children) I decided that I would head to the throne room and find out what was taking daddy so long.  As I walked down the corridors towards the throne room, I suddenly heard daddy screaming.

“YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS!? YOU KNEW ABOUT THIS FOR SO LONG AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN TELL ME!?!?”

“Loki please don’t make this worse” I heard grandmother say.

“Oh really mother! Define ‘worse’. YOU ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME ALWAYS!! YOU LEAD ME ON THINKING FOR ONCE I COULD FINALLY HAVE SOMETHING OF MY OWN AND THEN YOU JUST TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME!!! WHY!? WHY?!”

“Why do you twist the truth?” I heard grandfather say.

“You could’ve told me who (y/n) really was why didn’t you!? Why didn’t you tell me that she was truly the lost daughter of your old friend Thranduil of the Light Elves?!”

My heart sank to my chest.

My daddy wasn’t my really daddy? I was really the daughter of the King of the Light Elves. Judging by how angry and hurt daddy sounded I knew I couldn’t be angry at him because he didn’t know about this either.  I soon hid behind the pillar as daddy soon stormed out of the throne room and down the hall.  I soon ran to my room and bolted my room shut and ran to my bed and hid under the covers.

I soon heard a knock at my door and I muttered.

“Please go away”.

“(Y/n) it’s me sweetheart, may I come in?” It was grandma.  I sniffled and knew she would continue to keep asking me to enter my room if I refused so I said.

“Yeah”.  I unlocked the doors with my magic and soon grandma came in and sat down by my bed.

“(Y/n) sweetie, we need to talk”.

“Please grandma I—”

“You don’t have to stay it (y/n), I already knew you were spying on us”.

“No I wasn’t!”

“I know, but I still knew you had overheard us trying to explain to Loki the truth about you”.

“So he’s—he’s not my real daddy?”

“Now (y/n), you must know that when Loki found you that day, he didn’t take you in out of pity or a good deed, he has had a rather difficult time growing up by being in the shadow of Thor and Odin, but when he found you, you brought something that I haven’t seen in Loki ever since he was but a boy. You brought out the love in him. He took you in because he felt a deep connection with you, and that he could raise you to become a bright, caring young woman”.  Grandma Frigga said as she wiped away the tears that were gently falling from my face.  I smiled softly then asked.

“Was I really not loved by my real daddy?”

“Of course not (y/n). King Thranduil loved you with all his heart, as did your older brother Legolas. You see, your mother died giving birth to you, but even in his grief-filled heart, Thranduil still stayed strong to love not only you but your brother as well. Shortly after your birth, there was a war going on between the Fire giants and the Light Elves, with the deep friendship that has lasted for centuries on end, Odin lead Thor, Loki, and our armies to help Thranduil. But while out on the battlefield, there was a sudden fire from the camp, apparently some fire giants had planned a secret ambush to slaughter any Asgardian or Elf reaming at the camp while the soldiers went to war.  Fearing for your safety, your father charged back to camp to see the entire camp destroyed, but when he got to his own tent, he was shocked to see his entire tent had been shredded and your crib burned with nothing but ash. Thinking you had died, Thranduil soon isolated him and his entire realm away from the world including Asgard. But 100 years later, that’s when Loki found you on Vanaheim as a baby, how you managed to survive we’ll never know, but you are a little miracle (y/n) and you have been my granddaughter, as we all love you”.

Hearing grandma’s tale made sense to me I guess, but I couldn’t help but ask her this.

“Does—does this mean I have to leave? Leave daddy? Leave you and everyone else?”

“I’m afraid it’s for the best my dear”.  I sniffled and crawled into her lap and hugged her.

“Can I still come back and visit?”

“You are always welcome back to Asgard anytime my dear (y/n)”. Grandma and I hugged each other tightly as tears came down both of our faces.

Later that night as rain began to fall, almost as if it was setting the mood of the royal family. We all waited for Thor to return with news from Álfheimr to see if Thranduil would accept me coming into his land. Heimdell soon activated the Bifrost and soon Thor stood there before us.

“I’ve managed to discuss this matter with the Prince of Álfheimr himself, he said he and the guards will take her to see the king”.

“No” I heard daddy mutter.

“Brother I know you were the one to find her, and now I’ll be the brother to return her where she belongs”.

“I won’t let you Thor! She’s my daughter!” Daddy said as he picked me up and held me tightly almost like he was shielding me from everyone else.

“It’s already been decided” Grandpa Odin said.

“I am her father and I know what’s best for her!”

“Loki!” Grandfather shouted.  Grandma placed a comforting hand on grandpa’s shoulder and calming down he stated in a blunt tone, “What’s best for her is to be with her real father”. Hearing grandpa say that, daddy’s face dropped into pure sadness mixed with anger. Wanting to comfort him, I placed my hand on his cheek to turn him to face me and I choked out.

“It’s okay daddy, I won’t be far, I’ll come back and visit”. Daddy set me down and kneeled down before me and choked out as he cupped my face in his hands and tried to not cry in front of me but it was sure enough even with the rain, I could see tears falling down his face.

“Never forget this. You’re mine, mine to me. No matter where you go, or what they may call you, you will always be my daughter”. I cupped his face in my hands as I leaned forward and he leaned downward so that our foreheads would touch in our affectionate gesture.  Tears falling down both of our faces but even though my heart was hurting beyond any other pain, I could only imagine what daddy was going through.

With a final kiss to my forehead, I was soon picked up by Thor and taken into the Bifrost and Heimdell was ready to send me back to my real home.  As I looked to see grandma standing by daddy’s side trying to comfort him, I waved goodbye to daddy as tears still kept falling down my face and daddy waved back and that was the last thing I saw before my vision was filled with brightly colors flashing by.

IMAGINE: Getting married to Legolas during the quest

Pairing: Legolas x Elf Reader

Requested: Yes (Could you do a Legolas fluff where maybe the reader is an elf too and they were suppose to get married but then Thranduil sends them on to the council meeting and they do on the quest so they cancel it, and in the middle of the quest they realise they might not come back and decide to get married? Also maybe Aragorn could officiate the wedding bc he got the training for it like u could add them being like "since when can you officiate weddings" anyway I thought this could b rly cute fluff 🥺) -Anonymous

Summary: You and Legolas knew you should’ve gotten married before the Council of Elrond occurred. After a couple of unfortunate events, you both decide to get married with only a few trusted spectators.

A/N: Because anon never specified the reader’s gender, this is gender neutral. Also, I either truly suck at writing Legolas or weddings, or I just need more confidence, or have another movie marathon, even if I just had one yesterday.

The King of Mirkwood, also known as Thranduil, or Legolas’ father, had sent you and Legolas to attend some secret council meeting that was being held in Rivendell. As a result, your wedding had to be postponed, but as elves, you were both patient and it didn’t matter to either of you. Turns out, the meeting happened to be a discussion of the One Ring being discovered.

After some arguments, a hobbit volunteered to take the ring to Mordor. Gandalf was the first to assist him. You recalled a random ranger who turned out to be Aragorn, Isildur’s heir, stand up. “If by my life or death, I can protect you, I will.” He told him. “You have my sword.”

You and Legolas glanced at each other. There was no way you were going to let him go to Mordor with a small number of companions, so you both took it upon yourselves to help Frodo. “And you have our bows.” Legolas told him as you both stepped forward to the hobbit.

“And my axe!” Gimli the dwarf declared after Legolas, making you and Legolas give each other an uncomfortable glance, not happy that a dwarf who just broke their axe was coming with them. There was an awkward silence, and the man from Gondor stepped forward.

“You carry the fates of us all, little one,” he spoke, “if this is the will of the council, then Gondor will see it done.” Suddenly, you heard someone yelp and you turned to see another hobbit run to Frodo. You all assume it’s his friend.

“Mr. Frodo is not going anywhere without me.” Sam declared, arms crossed. “It is nearly impossible to separate you, even when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not.” Elrond responded.

Two more hobbits glance at each other. “Hey! We’re coming too!” One said, and they ran over to Frodo and Sam. “You need people of intelligence to go on this quest... mission... thing!” Another said, pausing at some words. His friend gave him a look. “Well that rules you out, Pip.” He scoffed.

Pip nodded for a quick second, but when the meaning of his friend’s words came to him, Pip glared at him. Elrond looked at the new group. “Ten companions... So be it. You shall be, the Fellowship of the Ring.”

“Great! Where are we going?” Pip asked excitedly. All of you were now staring at him.

That night, Legolas wrote a letter to his father about the new quest you two have volunteered to go on, that you won’t be returning anytime soon.

-

“I would have followed you... my brother... my captain... my king...” Boromir confessed to Aragorn, then passed away. Frodo and Sam ran away, Merry and Pippin got kidnapped, Gandalf fell, and Boromir just died, so now there were only four of you left.

Legolas saw you looking down at the ground. He intertwined your fingers together, making you look at him. “What now?” You asked, more to yourself than to Legolas. “I wish I knew. Just don’t lose hope. I will protect you, no matter what.” He tried to reassure you, rubbing your back. It worked a little. You two made eye contact and you gave a single nod at him.

You were either starting to slightly regret going on this quest, or you regretted not getting married much more sooner. It was more likely the latter than the former of the two. You weren’t stupid, you knew this quest was dangerous, but you had a tendency to brush things off. Boromir’s death made you realize there was a higher chance of death than making out alive. He could handle himself very well, yet he still died, so you were started to get paranoid, no one was truly safe.

Getting married during a quest is not someone’s ideal wedding, but you have been thinking about that option lately. The problem was, there was nobody there to officiate the wedding. You and Legolas can’t just say your vows to each other and kiss, that’s not how it works. The one who does the long speech must be there, so it seems like you could only wish to make it out alive if you want to get married already.

-

Yeah, you were definitely getting married in Rohan after Helm’s Deep. Another thing had happened: Aragorn fell off the cliff. Luckily, he made it out alive, but still, you had pulled Legolas aside, and told him of your seemingly wacky idea to get married during the quest. To your surprise, he had agreed.

“Do not be embarrassed, my love, it’s truly not a terrible suggestion if you consider what we are going to at the moment,” chuckled Legolas, and you remembered grinning like an idiot. Then you remembered the problem: no one was there to marry you two together. He had encouraged you to not be afraid to ask Theoden if he knew anyone that could help in Rohan 

Before you could ask Theoden, you and Legolas were talking about your plans to Aragorn and Gimli, but before you two could finish, Aragorn suddenly interrupted you both. “And who will officiate the wedding?” He asked and cocked an eyebrow. You paused for a second, before answering him. “We were actually about to get to that, and that’s the problem, no one will.”

Aragorn nodded. “I could marry you guys together.” He revealed, making you and Legolas look up at him. “Since when were you able to officiate weddings?” You asked in disbelief. If it was true, you would be glad someone would be able to help you both.

But Aragorn was not laughing as you expected, he still looked serious. “I have lived long enough to witness rangers marry each other. And usually, I would be the one marrying them. I am not making it up.” He told you both.

You broke into a wide smile, then pulled Legolas into a tight hug, startling him at first, but he hugged you back, just as happy as you were. “Did you hear that? Aragorn’s going to marry us together!” You whispered in his ear even though you already knew he heard him loud and clear.

-

You and Legolas got married after finding Merry and Pippin in Isengard, and also after Theoden’s speech about everyone who died fighting in Helm’s Deep. Because it wasn’t a normal wedding, there weren’t many people. It took place outside, because people were already partying in the castle.

There was Gandalf, Gimli, Merry and Pippin, Theoden, Eomer, and Eowyn watching. And of course, Aragorn making the speech, even though you and Legolas were too busy looking into each other’s eyes, so you didn’t hear anything he was saying.

“Do you, Legolas, take (Y/N) as your husband/wife?” Aragorn had asked the famous question, while looking at Legolas, which had caught both of your attentions.

“I do.” Legolas said happily. 

Aragorn nodded then turned to you. “And do you, (Y/N), take Legolas as your husband?” 

“I do.” You said, and grinned at Legolas.

Aragorn nodded one more time. “You may now kiss.” He didn’t even need to finish the sentence, as soon as he started speaking, Legolas cupped your face with his hands and pulled you in for a kiss. Gimli, Merry, and Pippin were all cheering, Gandalf only smiled, and Theoden, Eomer, and Eowyn were clapping. 

After you had pulled away, Legolas gave you a smirk before tugging on your hand. He began walking away, leading to wherever he wants to spend time alone with you, and you followed, playfully waving at everyone, and saw the puzzled look on their faces, making you laugh.

When it is written in the stars. Chapter 9

It was late, the sun had gone down houers ago, but Legolas could not sleep. He was pacing around in is room, his thoughts was all over. The rumors about his father and lady Faenith, the fact that his ada was planing on remarrying. The orcs confession about how the lady had been plotting against his ada and him. The web of intrigues was almost choking him. He needed to talk to his father. He had watched his father closely the last couple of days, and his father seemed genuinly heartbroken and upset. Maybe they could find a solution together. He tore his bedchamber door open and walked quickly out in the hall and over to his fathers chamber, he knocked on the wooden door but no one answered, he pushed on it slightly, it creeked open, he peeked his head in and his light blue orbes traced the empty dim lit room, his father had probably already gone to bed, he had now walked into the room and his pointy ears picked up some shuffeling sounds from the bed chamber, he walked over and pushed the door open and looked inside, the sight that met him was not something he had been expecting, his body froze and he did not snap out of his trance until he heard a elleth squeel and his fathers curses, he shut the door quickly, alittle flushed in the face he quickly turned and walked out of his fathers chamber, he was just about to slam the door shut behind him when his father grabed his sholder and turned him around to face him. "Legolas, what are you doing here this late houer? " Legolas could not meet his fathers eyes, he felt betrayed, confused and anger was building up inside of him. He tried to shake out of his fathers grip. "Legolas? " His father kept pushing for an answer, he pushed away his fathers arm and finally met his fathers orbs. He had never seen his usually so collected and proper father in such a messy state, his hair was messy, and he only had a light silky robe thrown on in a hurry. This angered Legolas even more. "What in all of arda are you doing ada?, she is a prisoner, she is acused of plotting against us both? and you still are bedding her? what kind of spell have she cast upon you? " Now it was his father who could not meet his eyes, he watched his father pull his hands through his hair and sigh. " Iˋm not under any type of spell. She is innocent of what she is being acused of. You have to trust me on this Legolas" Legolas shook his head, how was this even possible, how could his father be so thoughtless and naiv?. " The orcs told us that she was in on it, her place is in the dungeon until the trail comes up! How can you bed her after knowing what she have done? " His fathers head shot up and the fiery anger was evedent in his eyes. " She told me her side of the story, and i belive her and not some filthy orcs lies! You should watch what you are saying, Legolas, she is going to be the future queen of Mirkwood and your steph mother, when all this is over!." Legolas could hardly belive what he heard. He knew the laws of his people, they never remarried. " You are not honering your voves to my mother, remember, your wife?" Legolas spat out the words in a hatefull tone towards his father, he could see how the words affected him, it was almost like he had slapped him across the face. The king pulled him self together and pushed Legolas up against the wall, their faceses only inches apart, the kings voice low and harsh " Iˋm sorry to tell you this under these sircumstances Logolas, but what your mother and i had together was only a friendship, we where never romanticaly bonded, you need to get that romantic picture of us as a couple out of your head, becouse it was never real. All we had in common was you! I love Lady Faenith, and she will be my wife officially after we have proved to everyone her innocense, and you should treat her with respect from now on!" Legolas just stared into his fathers angry eyes, his words sunk in and now it felt like his father had slapped him, he pushed against his father and walked off without saying another word, he tightened his fists so hard his knuckles was white, he heard his father calling his name, begging him for forgiveness for his harsh words, but Legolas was in no state to give him what he wanted, he stormed passed a maid, a quick glance at her made him see it was his mothers old handmaiden, she looked at him with sorrow and pitty written in her eyes, he just brushed passed her and continue down the hall until he walked into lord Faenthors back, the lord cursed and turned and was ready to attack until he met Legolas hard stare, instead he bowed his head " My lord." Legolas knew he should just continue walking, but he needed badly to let out some steam. His whole world had been turned up side down ever since the twins from Rivendell had arrived to Mirkwood. They had distroyed his world. He pushed hard against Faenthors sholder "If it wherent for you and your loose sister, i would have been married and had my fathers aproval by now, you two have ruined everything for me. " Faenthor grabed Legolas arm and looked him straight in his eyes, he looked around to see if anyone was watching them, he started pulling Legolas in the direction of the training grounds " My prince, i do not think this is the right place to have this kind of discussion, lets have a friendly sparring match and let you blow off some steam. Looks like you need it." Legolas gave the lord a short nod, he where not planing on holding back now. They both reached the empty training grounds and grabed a sward each, they swung them around to test the balance and weight of the weapon. Faenthor fasten his grip around the hilt of the sward and waited for Legolas to come at him "What is troubeling you my lord? " Legolas just shot him a glare and pointed the tip of his sward against Faenthors chest " You and your sister are!" Legolas shot forward and launched a blow directly at Faenthor, their swards crashed together as Faenthor blocked his blow. "And what have we done to bother you, my lord?" Legolas kept comming forward, how the lord had not noticed how his family had ruined his world fueled his anger " You stole the elleth i wanted to wed, and your sister is dragging my mothers name down in the mud, she have put my father under a spell that makes him act irational. " Faenthor kept blocking the princes attack with ease, he knew the prince usually kept his feelings hidden, like his father, but something must have happened to make the cup spill so badly. " You know it was up to Elanoreth to choose who to wed, i had nothing to do with it. And your father is in love, not under any spell. He simply found happiness. " Legolas growled as Faenthor advanced towards him "You stole my place as my fathers counsilar!" Legolas twirled and surprised Faenthor with a quick blow to Faenthors left side, he could feel a sting on his side but did not bother too much " I did not steal your place at the counsil, you are the prince. You will always have a place at the consil. From what i have observed, your father have been lonely, he needed a friend and some love in his life. Now he have it, you should be happy for him, instead of pittying yourself." Faenthor and Legolas was both breathing heavy as their swords continued to clash together, their sparr match came to a swift end when the captain of the guards entered the training grounds and told them to stop playing around like two small elflings. Legolas glared at both the captain and the lord before he placed the sward back at the rack and left the training grounds. The captain turned and looked at the young lord " You should see to that before it gets infected", Faenthor sighed and nodded, he looked around the training grounds who where now crowded by young elleths and maids, a grin grew on Faenthors face as he met Elanoreths worried eyes. She was standing with a group of young elleths he could not recognize. He was about to walk over to her, when his view was blocked by a pair of forrest green orbs. "You are hurt my lord, come let me take care of you". Faenthor looked down at his cut "It is nothing, i need to" , his eyes whent back up to the crowd and searched for Elanoreth, but she was gone, the healer grabed his hand and started pulling him towards the healing ward. "Come come my lord, i will fix you right up. " Faenthor surrendered and followed. A crowd was gathered at the arena of the training grounds to watch the the prince and the lord from Rivendell sparr, they had already been going at it for a while, so their skin was flustered and and glitzening from sweat. The young elleth with the auburn coloured hair watched the young lord intently, her friends was giggeling and sighing everytime the two ellons made a daring movie. "Oh eru they are so handsome, what i would give for just one night with either of them" The auburn haired elleth glared at her friend "Put those silly dreams away, you are a simple kitchen wench, prepearing their food is as close to them that you will ever get" her remark made the kitchen wench scoft. "Ever since you healed lord Faenthor you have acted like he is yours. You know he belongs to the lady from Lothlorien" She rolled her eyes, the young lady was hardly a match for her. She was way to naiv and innocent to truly satesfie the lord properly. The crowd got quiet all of a sudden and the auburn haired elleth turned her head and saw Lady Elanoreth join them as they continued watching. "Ah my lady, you must be so happy and excited that you are going to wed Lord Faenthor. To get such a dreamy looking husband..." The kitchen wench said to Elanoreth as she fanned her face, her dark blue eyes sparkeling from talking to nobels. Lady Elanoreth simply smiled her sweet smile. The auburn haired healer watched them as they continued to gossip about the prince and the young lord. The captain entered the training grounds and put an end to the match, she watched as the prince stormed out and the lord inspect his ruined and bloody tunic, she got up on her feet, her heart flutter, finally an oppertunity to be near him again. She ran across the dusty training ground, she pulled the lord into the healing ward and found a room where she could take care of him in private. She pushed him down on a cot and started to pull on his tunic, he quickly grabed her hands to stop her " Oh my lord, i can not treat the wound before you take off your tunic." She said in a soft voice with hint of a teasing laughter. He let go of her hands and raised his own so she easly could pull his tunic over his head, she threw it at the end of the cot, her green orbs traced his chest hungrily, but pulled her self together, she had to be carefull and not be to obvious, she had noticed the lord was not like any of the other lords from Mirkwood that she had taken care of. She turned and grabed one of the ointments and a wet cloth to rins the wound, she sat down on her knees in front of the lord, she had made sure that the buttons in her dress was opened up in the front so the lord had a perfect view down on her perky round breasts as she gently cleaned his wound. As she put the ointment on her fingers and gently rubbed it over the wound the lord hissed. "I am sorry my lord, i know it stings, but you will soon feel better. " The lord nodded. She got up on her feet, she whiped off her sticky fingers and made her way over to a side table. She poored a glass of wine, and blocking the table with her back, she poored a powdery substance down into the glass, she swirled the wine around a bit so the powder disaperad into the wine, then she turned and handed the glass to the lord. " This will make you feel better, it will dull the pain" the lord grabed the glass, he smelled the wine, but could not find anything weird about it. He gulped it down, handed her the glass and reached for his tunic. "Oh no my lord, you should take it easy for a while. Stay and relax." The lord pushed himself off from the cot and swayed alittle as he stood infront of the healer. He grabed his head and shook it to clear his mind, but it only made him more dizzy. " I need to get back and talk to lady Elanoreth, and i have to attend the consil meeting. " He tried to focus on the healer " What was in the wine? I feel dizzy. " The healer just smiled and licked her lips as she walked up to him and gently pushed him back down on the cot. " Do not worry about that my lord, you will feel better in a couple of minutes." She pushed on his chest and made him lay down on the cot, she ran her fingers across his face "Just close your eyes, my lord and let me take care of you. " The thick vegetation of the forrest blocked out the last day light as Elrohir had made camp. He had been debating if he should make a fire or not, since the royal guards of Mirkwood was probably still on his tale. He had been smart and covered his tracks as he made his way deeper into the forrest, he had watched them capture Faenith and he knew what would happen if they captured him as well, he was not going to let that happen. He desided to make a small fire and pushed on the small logs so the flames would keep low, and not be detected from a far. He got an eerie feeling of being watched, he slowly let go of the stick in his hand and reached for his sward, he felt something sharp being shoved into his back and he heard a quiet growl behind him, he let go of the sward and slowly turned around and faced the group of orcs standing behind him. He put his hands up in the air, in a surrendering motion and grinned. "Now now, no point in threatening me with those" he pointed at the wepon in the orcs hand, "Iˋm on your side, remember?" The orc snarled at him, the group of orcs parted and let a tall crocked figure come forward, Elrohir eyed the figure standing before him. "After what happened back in the palace, one can not blame them questioning if you are really on our side." The figure said in a stern voice. Elrohir shruged, "what can i say, my family is skilled warriours". The figure took one step closer to Elrohir "One can question if they where prepared for the attack?" Elrohir took a step back, closer to his small fire. He could feel the heat radiating onto his calfs. "I did not warn them, they did not know about the attack. My loyalty is with you!" Elrohir was not used to being questioned, so irritation could be traced in his voice. " Where is your pretty lady? Maybe we should take her to secure that your loyalty is with us" Elrohir eyes darkened when he mentioned Faenith. "Shes not here, she ran and was captured by the guards." The orcs surrounded him again and pressed their wepon at his throat, Elrohir could feel the rusty metal digg into his skin, he swallowd hard. " I never told her i was cooparating with you. She knows nothing. Beside she will be treated as a trator once they bring her back. " The figure gave the orcs a nod and the blades was removed "Lets hope you are right. Or we will go after both of you." Suddenly the orcs started to get antsy, they whispered among them selfs and the tall figure looked around, then as sudden as they aperad, they disaperad into the woods. Elrohir held his breath and listened into the dark night, not a sound could be heard, no birds no animials. He turned and put the fire out, and was about to grab his supplies and head into the woods after the orcs, but was stoped by the group of elven guards, dressed in the colours of Mirkwood. Elrohir slowly let go of his supplies, but as he bent down, he grabed the knife he had stuck in his boot and with one swift motion he had pressed the blade at the soft flesh of his tongue, his mouth was filled with blood and he let out a piercing cry as the blade whent through. The guards rushed forward and grabed him as his body fell limp onto the ground from blacking out. They looked at eachother, the captain motioned the guards to throw his limp body over the back of a horse and they started on the long ride back to the palace. Elanoreth was filled with consearn about her soon to be husband as she made her way over to the healers ward, she had seen the healer bring him out of the training arena, but when she tried to follow she had been stoped and told that the lord needed to rest, and that he had gotten pain reducing herbes and was sleeping, so she whent on with her daily duties and the preperations for their wedding, but her fiance was constantly on her mind and could not really consentrate on what she where supose to. Lady Galadriel had finally given up on trying to distract her with small talk and given her premition to go to the healers ward, Elanoreth did not need to be told twice, she was quickly on her feet, and rushed threw the door, walking as fast as a lady in her position could through the palace without forgetting her maners, she bowed her head to greet the highborns she passed on her way. She took a deep breath as she reached the healers ward and was about to reach for the handle of the door, as it opened and the slender auburn haired healer walked out, the healer gave Elanoreth a secrative smile as she met her wondering look, Elanoreth noticed that the healers dress was only half buttened up, she thought this was alittle strange behaviour of a healer. "Is the lord awake?" she questioned the healer, the healers grin grew wider as her green eyes met Elanoreths golden ones " The lord is very much awake now" and with a snicker she walked off, Elanoreth pushed the door open and walked inside, only to be met with the sight of her fiance sitting half dressed on the bed, it suddenly dawned on her what had happened and a white glowing rage filled her. Thranduil pushed the scrolls he had just finished signing over to his secretary, he rubbed his eyes and looked out of the window, it was dark, had kept him self busy with matters of his realm all day, not bothered to show up to any meals, he had asked for the food to be brought to his study, as he was in no mood to face any of his subjects after the disasterous fight with his son this morning. He knew he should talk things out with Legolas, and explain everything in a calm way, but the judgeful look in Legolas eyes only fed the guilt that had already been tearing him apart inside ever since he had first laid his eyes on Faenith. He could not help how he felt about her, and maybe if he tried to make Legolas see that, then maybe the guilt would disapear. He got out of his chair and was about to go down to the dungeon to bring Faenith to his bedchamber for the night when a guard came up to him. " Your highness, we have captured Lord Elrohir and brought him back to the palace" A sigh of relief escaped Thranduils lips as the guard spoke the words he had been waiting on for weeks now. This was great news, the counsil had been pushing on the trail against Faenith and he was starting to get desperate to get the statement from Elrohir to clear her name. A small smile spread on his lips as he demanded a servant to fetch Lord Faenthor, so that they both could question the new prisoner. " My king, Lord Faenthor is still in the healers ward after he was hurt sparring with the prince this morning. " Thranduil raised an eyebrow looking at the servant. "Take me to him", why had no one told him of this mornings insedent? He sent his secretary a glare as he walked out of the room, showing him that he was not happy at all that he chosed to make this information slip. The guard followd him to the healers ward, he was just to enter the room as the door flung open and a raging Lady Elanoreth stormed passed him. Thranduil looked questionly at his friend "Trouble in paradice ?" Lord Faenthor shruged and looked just as questionly back at Thranduil. "I have no idea what just happened." Thranduil barked out a short laughter, remembering the formar queens moodswings when she was expecting Legolas. It had almost made him mad, he felt sorry for his friend and for the rocky months ahead of him. " I do not envy you now my friend, i wish i could offer you some advice on how to handle your elleth in her condition, but i am just as lost as you feel. I am very glad i am not wearing your shoes right now. " Lord Faenthor walked up to him and jokingly punched the kings sholder "Hah, before you know it, you are in my shoes. " Thranduils grin slowly disapeard as he met Faenthors knowingly smirking gaze. " You are right my friend, i should not joke about your situation, since i can be in it my self any day now. " Faenthor just nodded and continue to smirk. "What do you need me for, my king? " Thranduil looked at the guard and suddenly remembered why he had been looking for Faenthor. "My guards tells me they have captured Lord Elrohir and brought him back, i thought it was just fair to bring you when i interegate him. " Faenthors eyes lit up and Thranduil knew he was just as reliefed as he felt. The guard shuffled with his feet alittle as both the king and the lord turned to him, to guide them to the prison cell. "Your highness, my lord, there is a problem, the young lord is not in the dungeon, as we captured him, he pulled out a dagger and cut his own tongue out and fell in a coma, he is placed here in the healers ward" Both the king and the lord looked at him with a harsh glare as the words he spoke sunk in. They both pushed passed him and stormed into the next room. They took a deep breath as they watched the pale elf laying deadly still on a cot as the healers worked on him. A sudden wave of dispare and frustration rushed through their bodys, their only hope to clear Lady Faeniths name was bearly clinging to life and was now unable to speak.

Post-it

Here is another little fic. Dunno where those short ideas come from at the moment, but I’m certainly not going to complain. Anyway, I hope you will enjoy these two adults acting totally like adults and solving their problems like adults... *coughs* sure... as if.

The silent treatment was becoming ridiculous, but if Fili believed it would get Kili to crack and grovel at his feet he was mistaken. He was a master when it came to holding grudges. Once he had even managed to avoid talking to his mother for a whole month after a major argument. It had taken one of his uncles to help them to reconcile again. Fili wanted war? Then he could have it!

His anger was merely fuelled by the bright yellow post-it note sticking on the fridge.

We are out of milk. Buy some the next time you head out.

Kili narrowed his eyes, barely believing Fili’s commanding tone screaming at him through these few words. The brunet headed over to one of the drawers, reached for the self-stick notepad and a pen and began to write.

Buy it yourself.

*

* 

When he came home the same day after work, a third note was hanging on the fridge.

Don’t be a brat about it. I’ve got the night shift next week and won’t be able to. Just buy the milk, okay?

“Go fuck yourself, Fili,” Kili muttered, grabbing the notepad more forcefully than the first time.

Oh, sure! Because I’m lazy and not working hard? The shops are still open when you have to go to work. You want milk? Get it yourself!

*

*

“How the hell did you manage not to talk to him in one week? You are living in the same flat!” Tauriel stared at him as if he’d grown a second head or lost his mind… or both.

Ori seemed equally baffled, the piece of cake on the fork he just wanted to shove into his mouth momentarily forgotten. Although Kili didn’t want to admit it, he began to feel uncomfortable under their scrutinizing looks and took a big sip of iced coffee to put off answering just for a little while longer.

“Well… he sleeps in the guestroom at the moment,” Kili answered meekly.

“You. Live. In. The. Same. Flat,” she emphasised again. Leaning forward, his friend eyed him critically. “Did you even try to talk to him?”

He wrinkled his nose.

“Why should I? He is the one who started it! I’m not going to apologise for something that’s only going on in his head!” The steadily increasing volume of his voice earned them curious and scolding glances from the other guests of the little ice cream parlour.

“Oh yeah, that’s very mature,” Tauriel scoffed.

“None of us is saying you should apologise,” Ori tried a little calmer. “But you two avoiding each other doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship.”

“I’m not avoiding him on purpose!” He shrunk a little under the warning glare Tauriel darted into his direction. “Well… at least not completely. He is the one avoiding me, always staying hidden in the guestroom… I just… I just let him have his way.”

Shaking her head in exasperation, the redhead huffed, her long fiery hair almost dunking into the bowl of whipped cream on the table.

“You know you have to talk with him sooner or later? That or break up with him.”

Kili froze. Breaking up? Was that how it sounded for his friends? While he admitted that the situation was a little ridiculous, especially for Tauriel in her long and harmonic relationship with Legolas, breaking up wasn’t an option for Kili. Not yet at least…

Were they truly moving into this direction? Was Kili just too proud to see it? Of course the argument had hurt him and of course he was still angry and didn’t even think of apologising, but he was still stupidly in love with Fili.

The conversation gave him food for thought.

At home another post-it note was sticking at the fridge.

I didn’t say you don’t work hard. I’m just knackered. Can you please buy some milk?

Fili hated the taste of coffee without milk.

*

* 

Bought the milk. There was an offer on your favourite chocolate. Got you a bar as well.

Thanks, was written on the first note. Kili’s gaze slowly wandered to the second. I’m sorry I called you a slut.

His stomach twisted uncomfortably with the memory of pain returning to the forefront of his mind. Even written like that the words hadn’t lost any of their ugliness.

You hurt me, the writing was slightly messy, but he couldn’t shake the trembles from his hand.

Kili fled to the bedroom for the night.

*

*

I know. I’m so very sorry. I was jealous and scared. Sometimes I wonder how a guy like you can love someone like me.

He had actually planned to have breakfast, but the new note Fili must’ve left for him in the evening felt like a punch to the guts, dispelling the hunger and making him nauseous. His boyfriend had never hit him as someone battling insecurities. Then again, maybe he was just a genius in hiding them well. Either way, Kili was at a loss. He didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do, just stared at the gathering of words and the heart-breaking meaning they formed.

In the end he was late for work because he was busy with covering the fridge in post-it notes.

Are you serious? You are the best thing that ever happened to me.

I love your smile.

I love the way your hair feels between my fingers.

I love the sound of your laugh and how you murmur in your sleep.

I love that special chicken soup you make whenever I’m feeling sick.

I love the way you curl around me at night, as if you want to protect me from the monsters in my nightmares.

I love the way you hum along your favourite songs.

I love the way you look at me, how you seem to block out the whole world… as if I’m the only one that matters to you.

I love your stupid unfunny jokes.

I love how patient you are with me, whenever I’m stressed or panicking.

I love your adventurous moods and impartiality.

I love that you don’t make fun of my fear of spiders and rescue me every time I ask.

I love how you whisper my name in the dead of the night.

I love the way your hand feels in mine, how you hold me close.

I love the way you kiss me, the way you touch me, the way you feel inside me, the way you make me feel whole.

I love that whatever happens you will be there for me.

*

*

By the time of his lunch break, Kili spotted a couple of missed messages on his phone. A grin wandered to his lips.

Gods, Kee. You are… you are the most amazing man I ever met!

I love you more than I can put into words.

I’m so sorry for forcing this stupid fight on you.

I’m so sorry I almost ruined things between us.

Please, forgive me.

The brunet headed slowly to a corner of the room, away from his colleagues so he could reply in peace.

I forgive you, he typed. And I’m sorry for calling you a control freak, I know you are just trying to watch out for me.

He didn’t have to wait long for an answer. Fili was up surprisingly early for doing the night shift all week.

It’s fine. I deserved it. I was awful to you.

You won’t hear any arguing from me.

Despite being unable to see his boyfriend right now, Kili still knew he would snort with fondness.

I took the day off. Do you think we could have dinner together and talk when you come back home?

The brunet frowned.

Can you do this just like that? Won’t you get in trouble?

You are more important right now. I can handle a little yelling from Thorin.

Warmth spread through Kili’s chest. Even though he would prefer for the blond to avoid such a lecture when he went back to work, he couldn’t deny that he felt deeply moved. And yet…

Only under one condition.

Which is?

You will come back to our bed.

Deal.