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speakergame · 2 months

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Progress Update - 3/4/24

Hello and happy March!

It’s been a while, hasn’t it? 😅 Well, I finally have some good news for you this time: I have some actual news!

I'm happy to be able to announce at last that an update is on its way! I’ve still got some assets to make and code cleanup and testing to finish, but I should finally have something to show you soon.

I’ll put a cut at the end of this and go into more detail about the what and why of what I’ve been working on during this long and unintended hiatus, but the tl;dr is that I hope to have an update out by the end of the month, and that said update will break any saves made in Chapter 4. Unfortunate, but unavoidable, since Chapter 4 had to be recoded from the beginning 😞

I just want to thank all of you once again for sticking with me through my extended silence! Especially to my patrons who’ve put up with me putting everything on pause month after month while I dealt with my real life shit, and to everyone who’s sent me kind and supportive messages to let me know Speaker hasn’t been forgotten. It really means a lot to me.

Okay, enough of that sappy shit! I’m gonna get back to work finishing this up 😁 I’ll put out another update later this month once I have a more definite release date.

Thank you all for reading! I hope you’re having a fantastic 2024 so far, and that the rest of the week treats you kindly. See y’all soon! 💙💙💙

(For those who want a more detailed breakdown on what’s been happening and what to expect, hit the readmore)

I won’t go into the personal life stuff I’ve been dealing with this past year that has slowed down my work, but as far as the actual game goes:

To put it simply, I just wasn’t happy with it. Some of it could be because of how many times I had to reread the same section while I was coding the scenes that would’ve taken place after the last update, but no matter how much I edited or rearranged it, I didn’t like how that scene turned out. There was something… formulaic that had been happening with the way I always laid out scenes, and a bit of stagnation in the story, character, and relationship development that bothered me.

So I rewrote it. And when I still didn’t like it, I rewrote it again. And I still didn’t like it. I thought about scrapping the whole thing on more than one occasion as I struggled to get out of the corner I’d written myself into.

Inspiration finally struck at the beginning of this year, thanks in part to another interactive novel I follow, and I really like the direction I’ve taken it now.

Instead of the RO split scenes happening where the last one left off, Speaker, Seer, and Gavin are gonna have a chat about Things™ to move the next story arc forward. Then Speaker will get some downtime, by themself at first and then in an extended scene split with the RO of their choosing.

All the Big Plot Things that were going to happen in Chapter 4 will be moved to Chapter 5 instead, and 4 will be a bit more of a filler episode. A deep breath before the plunge, as it were.

This split won’t just be a quick conversation/reaction from the RO, but a full on different direction for the rest of the chapter based on who you choose. Most of them will involve leaving the house; all of them will involve actual one-on-one time (or one-on-two time, as the case may be) away from the others. And though romance isn’t required, all of them will have the potential to really move the romance forward if you so choose. One or two might even have a lock-in choice (maybe. I’m not 100 percent on that, so don’t hold me to it)

These scenes won’t be in the next update, because they’re all very complex, but the update will definitely have the Seer chat and at least some of the by-yourself stuff. The update after will have the rest of the alone time stuff (including the clothes/body CC you’ve all been waiting for), and then the one after will start the RO scenes. I think.

I may actually split the RO scenes into separate updates, and let my darlings over at Patreon vote for the order they’re released. That way I can focus on one at a time instead of trying to split my attention six ways at once.

Okay, that’s enough rambling for me today. Time to get back to work! Still got a lot to get done before this is ready, but it’s so close now.

#speaker game #progress update #so happy to finally have some progress to update about XD #maybe I can finally start answering some asks again too and fully resurrect this poor blog

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bane-amesta · 9 months

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Free will may not be an illusion Note: I have never posted a fanfic here so apologies if the format is messy, I'm more used to AO3

Before anything, I must clarify: English is not my first language, and here I am, trying to write for a videogame series highly regarded for its incredible and beautiful writing. Lastly, I think it was like 2 AM when I wrote this. So yeah, I did watched some cutscenes to be sure, but I'm sure it'll be plenty of mistakes for you to "enjoy" lol.

My apologies in advance, please let me know of anything that needs to be fixed.

I just had to give it a try, I think. How else can I get better at the language without a good challenge right? So a little excercise like this seemed good enough for a start. I hope you enjoy :)

Here I am again, trapped in the spectral realm, with the voice of my old "friend" for sole company. And I was already dreading the possibility of falling into madness after a new eternity of that torture. Between this, and my predetermined destiny of the Soul Reaver becoming my jail, I cannot decide which path is the worst.

The feeling of uselessness is overwhelming. It seems that the other side of my coin is to fail everything I try. Even when I successfully purified the Reaver, its purpose now fades, with no way to use it, nor a chance for me to escape. My supposed 'free will' is worthless when I can't even save one life, or kill another when is needed.

But... I could not bear to kill Janos again, even when he begged me to do it. The horrible scene of my past self, mercilessly ripping his heart out of his body, was too much, and Janos didn't deserve such cruelty. Now his body is being manipulated for forces I can't fully understand, and it is, once again, my fault.

Even worse, the only task I was asked to do so many times, the one that made me sick to just hear about it, to the extent to actively try to avoid, it was done at last. Kain is dead, to the joy of Moebius and the 'Elder God'. And it doesn't bring me anything even close to that. My revenge path ended in a bitter note.

Now that I am certain it was part of their plan all along, I feel like a puppet, and is infuriating. Maybe I was manipulated in that moment like Janos? Does that even matter anyways? ... But that is a question for which I'll never get the answer.

At least, the old vision of me slaying poor Ariel's soul did not come true. After so many eons of haunting the Pillars, she deserved a peaceful end. It is a small consolation, indeed. But her words are still sounding in the void, and I can't comprehend them.

The Scion of Balance. I could vaguely try to give it a meaning, but I did not have the means to do so.

Meanwhile, the parasite in front of me is rejoicing in his victory against our meager attempts to change our destinies, and my attention was fading, trying my best to escape his voice. But then, I heard something falling on the ground behind me. Oh surprise, if is not the body of Moebius. The fact that I can see it on this dimension has only one meaning: he's dead. I was starting to feel angry about losing my chance to kill him first, when his soul left his body and he scanned his surroundings. With nothing on his sight as I moved directly behind him, he joined his hands in prayer. I carefully observed.

-Master, my apologies, a momentary oversight. Somehow Kain still lives, and has unexpectedly dispatched me. Make use of your good servant, and-

The news shocked me. My hand moved by itself, not just to finally slay him as I should have done from the start, but also to prevent Moebius from resurrecting again. This is probably the only good thing I can do on my current situation.

-Go to your master then. I release you to the Wheel.

But then something unexpected happened. Moebius's expression turned into horror, which made me realize. The Reaver purified him, which means that now he can see the true form of his "God". And the irony is sweeter than blood.

-Ohh… god, no…

-Do you see it now? The monster that you served? Is this what you imagined when you worshipped it?

-Noooo!

-And in that knowledge, go, and feed it. I release you.

Oh, such a small triumph never tasted so good. I knew his faith would falter. Of course, the Elder is still saying that it means nothing, trying to undermine my determination. But he's not omniscient, as I discovered, not only by his lack of knowledge about Kain’s return.

He doesn’t have the power to kill us. Only to trap us and hoping the endless passage of time will make us go deranged. And he acknowledged it.

Lastly, the Elder also forgot a crucial detail, right in front of him. A way to go back to the material realm, and Kain, alive, waiting at the other side.

Ariel’s words came back to me, like asking me to reconsider their meaning.

You must unite that which has been set asunder…

The Wheel will keep spinning for all eternity, dragging all of us in a circle of meaningless suffering, to feed a parasite masquerading as a god, if I don’t make a choice. But what exactly can I do?

Moebius never saw the true form of his master until the Reaver purified his soul. The ancient vampires never knew what they were worshipping.

The coin is still turning…

When I heard those words the first time, I was convinced that Kain’s coin was already in the ground, and the result seemed obvious. But I could not understand the real message hidden behind them.

…Only then will the Scion of Balance be armed for his true endeavor…

Then, I knew exactly what it was needed to do. Saying I was not scared of the result would be a lie, but maybe I could finally change the ending of this story. And for that, I need Kain.

As I suspected, he impaled Moebius' body as soon as it rises from the ground. My time now is limited and every second counts. He needs to know what he's about to face.

-No, this can't be the way!

He seems painfully worried and regretful. This has to be the first time I've seen such a genuine expression on his face. Concern, mixed with regret, refusing to believe what's happening; trying desperately to take the sword away from me. I have known and served him for so long, but never seen him like this. Like a loving father, broken seeing his son mortally wounded. I would chuckle if I had my lower jaw, and the strength to do so. How curious to see Kain acting like this, and how sad that only in my last moments I can witness such a scene.

Was this always part of his personality? Or is maybe that my sight was contaminated as well, blind on my quest for revenge? Maybe the corruption of the Pillars changed him, and now that he's purified, he can finally show some emotions.

Whatever the case, the result is the same. Kain is worried for me. And that thought is oddly comforting. It seems that my long years of service and loyalty were not in vain, and I did not choose the wrong lord. He doesn't say it, but I can see the determination on his eyes. He will go out of his way to try to free me from my prison.

But I feel myself weakening again, and I have to focus. Is crucial to warn him about the real enemy, hidden in plain sight, before he can even attempt to manipulate Kain like he did with me.

Finally, I ended up fulfilling my destiny, the one that I feared so much. By my own free will. And there's no words to describe it... I can't even imagine what the future awaits me, but for now, the only objective is to settle the matter at hand.

Kain is naturally shocked to see the Elder in all its parasitic glory. But as I expected, he understood immediately the situation.

When Kain attacks and harms the body of the parasite, he doesn't take the credit all to himself.

-Your words are heartening. For you would not fear us unless we could truly do you harm.

We, he says. A small detail maybe, but he doesn't know how much I appreciate it.

I thought it was a jest, but I can barely believe what I’m hearing now. The Elder is once again threatening with the same words used with me. Is that truly the Elder's plan to stop Kain? Merely burying him alive for all eternity? Doesn't he know all the means Kain has to overcome the obstacles on his way? Turning into bats to fly, into mist to pass iron bars... Oh well, I suppose I should have seen this coming. And the ancient creature looks almost pathetic now, seeing that he barely defend himself against us.

But then the battle ends, the parasite suffered the fate he wanted for me and Kain, and now, the rest of Nosgoth is in front of us. This is the moment that marks the birth of Kain's vampiric empire, the Pillars falling on the distance. Kain looks at the sword on his hands with a sad expression, one I'm sure I'll see many times from now. Still, there's a glint of hope on his eyes, and for the moment being, that's enough for me. I can't see the future, no, but my heart says that this time, I made the right decision.

#fanfic #legacy of kain #soul reaver defiance #just a simple cutscene rewriting #kain #raziel #moebius #the elder god

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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years

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Strange Creatures Brothers Be (aka WWX & NMJ sworn brothers) - Chapter 5

AO3 or part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4

If Wei Wuxian had been asked to guess, he would have said that the visit to the Lotus Pier would be difficult and the Unclean Realm easy, and instead it turned out to be the exact opposite, which he supposed demonstrated exactly how poor of a fortune-teller he would make.

The Jiang sect forces, led by Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian, had taken over the Lotus Pier some time before the final battle, so it wasn’t as if he hadn’t already had the emotionally devastating moment of returning to see it covered in Wen suns – to see the devastation that had been wrought upon it, all the old beloved places violated and irrevocably tainted with the blood of his friends, his shidi and shimei, Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu…

It looked much better now, in truth. Jiang Cheng had stationed lots of disciples there to protect their home while they continued to fight on the front line, ordering them to begin repairs at once, and while the entire place smelled of renovations it at least did not stink of blood and viscera. They had torn up and replaced most of the flooring as the first priority, so that they wouldn’t have to look for strange stains on the floor as they stepped, and if they still didn’t have a dining room, an entrance hall, or a private laundry, then at least they had a kitchen, and the memorial hall had been fully restored.

Jiang Cheng must have asked them to prioritize that, Wei Wuxian thought, and felt a stab of guilt from the fact that he didn’t know for sure.

He’d always known that he would need to figure out a way to stay distant from Jiang Cheng after the war – there was no way to explain why he wasn’t helping to train their new disciples, why he wasn’t standing by his side with Suibian the way he had promised time and time again to, not without touching on subjects that must forever remain taboo – but he hadn’t quite realized just how much responsibility he’d abdicated before now.

He hadn’t even been helping out with the paperwork, and that was something anyone could do.

The Nie sect techniques he’d been practicing the past few days focused on mindfulness and consideration of consequences, on habituating oneself to force in a bit of contemplation before any action was taken – not exactly natural to him, but then again the Nie sect techniques were all designed with the assumption that the practitioner was a reckless hothead – and it threw everything into stark relief for him. Wei Wuxian had only pulled away from Jiang Cheng because he didn’t want to hurt him, didn’t want to stain him with his demonic cultivation or reveal to him what had been done for him, but wasn’t this hurting him, too? Having to do all of this alone, without Wei Wuxian at his side - wouldn’t Jiang Cheng feel disappointed in him, maybe even betrayed?

It’s like having a mountain at your back, keeping you steady, he’d said to Jiang Cheng, about Nie Mingjue.

Don’t you know you’re just the same to me? Jiang Cheng had told him.

He wasn’t acting like very much of that right now.

Wei Wuxian had to keep distant, he knew that; he couldn’t tell Jiang Cheng the truth, he knew that. And yet – something had to be done about this unpleasant and untenable state of affairs, where Jiang Cheng tried to respect him but also hint to him how much he needed him and Wei Wuxian ignored him and pretended not to care while also tearing himself apart inside…

He’d tell Nie Mingjue about the whole thing soon, Wei Wuxian promised himself. His big brother would know what to do, somehow, or at least he’d have something to say on the matter.

Nie Mingjue was a foundation of rock, steady and unwavering, and after the terrible uncertainty of the war it was utter bliss to find something upon which one could rely. And not just for Wei Wuxian himself, who would very reluctantly admit that he clearly actually did need a bit of a steadying hand the way everyone had so irritatingly always insisted he did, but also for Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli as well.

Wei Wuxian could tell from the way they looked at Nie Mingjue, and he didn’t blame them one bit.

Not when Nie Mingjue walked through the Lotus Pier and praised them for the work they’d been doing, sparing but sincere in his compliments; when he offered not only suggestions for improvements and food for thought but also concrete promises of trade deals that would benefit them both – Qinghe timber and metal in exchange for Yunmeng cloth and dye, meat and dairy for fish and poultry, upholsterers to go help the Unclean Realm return from its status as a fortress and masons to come to reinforce the walls of the Lotus Pier so that they were never attacked again.

Not when he patiently sat with Jiang Cheng as they went through the endless paperwork and decisions he had to make as the leader not only of a sect but of a Great Sect, pointing out subtleties in the requests from their affiliated sects and reminding him of considerations that didn’t immediately spring to mind, helping lay out risk and reward alike while leaving the decision entirely in his hands.

Not when he talked, with some restraint, about their parents, which he had known well through his role as sect leader. He had a completely different perspective on them, from his additional age and his more distant position; for all that his stories were usually short and to the point, he could nevertheless drive them all to tears of laughter over hearing about how their parents were with their peers, strange as it was to think of Nie Mingjue as such – he really had come on his role far too young.

After one night when they’d lit incense and done all the rituals they could and wept all the tears that they had left in them, they’d shared several jars of wine with him, and by the end of the night they had learned to start anticipating how his stories would generally end with “and then I wanted to punch them in the face”. Though they couldn’t quite figure out whether that was because of their parents’ flaws – Nie Mingjue was not subtle enough a diplomat to leave those details out, and they wouldn’t have wanted him to – or because of his own disposition, it still, as Jiang Cheng said while giggling terribly on at least two jars of wine too many, make for a very good punch line.

Wei Wuxian had expected to have to spend his entire visit to the Lotus Pier avoiding Jiang Cheng and trying not to think of all he’d lost.

He hadn’t expected to be swept up in the minutiae of rebuilding, arguing loudly over what type of wood they should use for the entrance hall and whether they really need to restore the sect leader’s chair exactly as it had been (Jiang Cheng was of the view that it was tradition, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Yanli were of the view that it looked really dumb, and Nie Mingjue removed himself from the conversation on the grounds of laughing too hard to answer) or teaming up to bully their vendors into revising their delivery estimates into something a little more reasonable.

“A-Xian, maybe your reputation would improve if you stopped threatening to throw a fierce corpse at people who disagreed with you,” Jiang Yanli said, hiding her smile with her sleeve.

“Maybe his reputation would improve if he started offering other people the opportunity to pelt a fierce corpse at disreputable merchants,” Jiang Cheng sniffed. “Hey, Chifeng-zun, you interested?”

“More than words can say,” Nie Mingjue said solemnly. “Tell me, do you also sell a mechanism for the throwing part, or are the corpses sold by the weight? Not everyone can hurl a corpse as far as I can.”

“I wasn’t going to actually throw a corpse at him!” Wei Wuxian protested, grinning widely. “Do I look like I just carry corpses in my sleeves?”

“Possibly if the corpse was the size of a pheasant?” Jiang Cheng said. “Hey, Wei Wuxian, can you resurrect pheasants?”

“He’d better not,” Jiang Yanli said, giggling helplessly by this point. “That’s our lunch!”

Here in the Lotus Pier, Wei Wuxian could help out with important matters, could be trusted and not held at arms’ length unless he wanted to be. Here in the Lotus Pier, he could hug all the people he’d known from before, the survivors who had escaped or who had been away, he could shout out encouragement to the new disciples to balance out Jiang Cheng’s scolding, he could make himself useful by drawing talismans or correcting the postures of would-be archers. Here in the Lotus Pier, he could tie Suibian to his belt the way Jiang Cheng wanted if he wished, without being afraid that someone would try to make him draw it, or else he could leave his sword behind in his room and it would be seen as natural – who carried their sword when they were at home?

Here in the Lotus Pier, he was at home.

He’d missed home, Wei Wuxian discovered. He’d missed having a safe place to call home – and the Lotus Pier was finally safe again.

At least for the moment.

At least for the moment, now, when he had a good reason to avoid spars or training or anything that required the use of a golden core – injured, he sang out any time someone raised it, still injured, sorry, can’t help you – and even if that made his visit here bittersweet, knowing that he still hadn’t resolved the underlying issues that would eventually tear them all apart, it was still sweeter than anything he had any right to. He wouldn’t have exchanged one second of his time there for all the world.

And then they went to Qinghe.

They rode there, taking the scenic route in order to sweep up whatever demonic creatures had popped up as a result of the war, and when at last they arrived at the Unclean Realm the Nie sect was out in force to greet their sect leader.

At the head of them all was, of course, Nie Huaisang, who immediately ruined the whole grandiose effect by throwing himself forward into his brother’s arms, wailing, “Da-ge, you’re back, you’re back! You evil creature, you left me here with all the paperwork and all the decisions and everything, how could you? You have to come deal with it at once, I don’t know what I’m doing at all – oh, Wei-xiong! It’s good to see you, too!”

As unstoppable as a hurricane, he’d promptly plucked the qiankun bag in which Nie Mingjue had stored the presents he had purchased for him at the Lotus Pier out of Nie Mingjue’s sleeve and then disappeared back inside, fanning himself furiously and complaining of the heat of the sun, the chill of the wind, the unseasonable temperature…

Nie Mingjue sighed, a great big heaving breath. “Don’t worry,” he said to Wei Wuxian, “I’ll talk to him,” and then he strode inside after him.

Wei Wuxian blinked. “Did I miss something?” he asked one of the Nie sect disciples that remained by his side, an older man who had clearly been assigned to assist him if the way he remained while the others immediately began to disperse was any sign.

“Nie-er-gongzi isn’t a very formal person,” the disciple, who introduced himself as Nie Zonghui, said, sounding somewhat apologetic. “The way he referred to you…”

“…what about it?” Wei Wuxian asked, now even more confused. “He called me Wei-xiong, just the way he always does – I don’t mind it at all.”

Nie Zonghui looked even more apologetic. “That was when you were friends,” he said, and – what? Weren’t they still friends? What was Nie Huaisang supposed to call him, exactly? A-Xian? Or…

Wait.

For us in the big clans, we can’t even distinguish our relationships with our own relatives, much less any others, he remembered Nie Huaisang ranting, all the way back in the Cloud Recesses. Wouldn’t it be better to just call everyone more than two tiers away aunts and uncles, or even brother and sister -

“Knowing what I know about Nie-xiong,” Wei Wuxian said slowly, thinking it through, “if he were really happy to see me, he’d have started calling me er-ge at once, wouldn’t he? Since I’m his brother’s sworn brother and all, and older than he is.”

Nie Zonghui nodded.

“He probably would’ve asked for a first-meeting gift, too.” Even back at the Cloud Recesses, he’d always observed how shameless Nie Huaisang was about gifts. “Possibly several.”

Nie Zonghui nodded again.

“He’s pissed off at me,” Wei Wuxian concluded.

Nie Zonghui nodded a third time.

“But why?”

“Perhaps you should ask your sworn brother,” Nie Huaisang said, appearing as if out of thin air right behind him and making Wei Wuxian jump. Nie Huaisang was not an especially scary-looking individual – he was short, and his face still gave off a feeling of roundness, suggestive of either baby fat or indolence or both – but there was an expression on his face that reminded Wei Wuxian of Nie Mingjue about to enter a battlefield. He hadn’t previously known that Nie Huaisang was capable of making a face like that. “Especially since he swore brotherhood with you without even asking me first.”

Nie Zonghui smiled very fleetingly at Wei Wuxian before disappearing down a nearby hall, and oh, apparently he hadn’t been here to show Wei Wuxian around at all, he’d just stayed to watch the show.

“Nie-xiong, about that -” Wei Wuxian said, meaning to be placating, but then Nie Huaisang took a step forward with his eyes narrowed into slips and he actually found himself taking a step backwards.

“I told you how good my da-ge was, didn’t I?” he asked, and no, actually most of his words were about how awful a tyrant his da-ge was, making him study and train and do all sorts of things like that, only maybe perhaps by implication one could argue that he’d said anything good about him at all, but given the way that Nie Huaisang jabbed his finger into Wei Wuxian’s breastbone like a saber Wei Wuxian thought it might not be good to mention any of that now. “And then the first chance you get, you go off and try to steal him?”

“I didn’t mean to steal –”

“We,” Nie Huaisang hissed like an angry mongoose, “will be having words about this, Wei-xiong.”

And then he stormed off.

Wei Wuxian stood there, abandoned and blinking after him in utter confusion and not a little bit of admiration – it would have taken some gall to scold him when he was just Wei Wuxian, head disciple of Yunmeng Jiang, and now that he was a fearsome demonic cultivator, the leader of the destruction of the Nightless City, no one dared to speak to him like that.

Except, apparently, Nie Huaisang.

“Would Wei-gongzi like to be shown to his rooms?” Nie Zonghui – making a belated reappearance – asked politely. The apologetic look was gone, replaced by a look of deep amusement. “We’ve made sure that they’re in the family quarters.”

“You’re trying to get me killed, aren’t you?” Wei Wuxian asked indignantly. “You’re trying to get me murdered! What did I ever do to you?”

“Nothing,” Nie Zonghui said. “But it’s about time our second young master took an interest in dismemberment.”

“An interest in – I refuse to be anyone’s training dummy for murder! Do you hear me? I refuse!”

Nie Mingjue would probably make sure that nothing like that happened.

…right?

#mdzs #wei wuxian #nie mingjue #jiang cheng #jiang yanli #nie huaisang #my fic #my fics #strange creatures brothers be

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heartsywritesthethings · 3 years

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The City Boy Who Never Sleeps

Author: GA!Babe

Fandom: Banana Fish

Summary: In a wonderful au where the ending is happy and everyone is just fine. Sometimes you just gotta exist and cope together. (2097 words)

Eiji laid on his side, watching the twinkling lights of New York City through the window of their secret apartment. When he had first come to New York, he had never thought that this project would have pulled him out of his shell as much as it had.

Not only did he find a reason to continue on, a reason to get up in the morning...but he found love. What had been a simple tagalong to get an in depth story of life in the biggest gang in America had turned into a whirlwind story of love, death, resurrection, betrayal, and drugs.

But now, it was all over. He would be leaving America soon, actually this time. After the multiple threats to send him back to Japan when things got too dangerous and sticky, he was actually heading home. And Ash was coming with.

"No," Ash whined in his sleep, twisting again in bed.

Another nightmare.

They were basically a package deal with Ash Lynx. All of the trauma he had gone through, it would be concerning if he didn't have nightmares regularly.

"Please, stop," Ash moaned right before a soft thud as his pillows hit the floor.

Eiji's heart was breaking as he listened to the blonde relive the worst parts of his life in the safety of his sleep. He wanted to help, of course he did, but Ash was... complicated, especially when it came to comfort. The last time Eiji tried to help Ash wake up from a nightmare, he had almost gotten punched in the face. Not on purpose, of course, but it was quite dangerous to wake up the gang leader in the middle of a traumatic nightmare.

"Leave me alone," Ash whined.

Eiji sighed and pulled himself out of bed. It hurt too much to hear him like this. Maybe if he started making breakfast, something American, then Ash would wake up naturally and the horrors of his life would fade away as he ate some of Eiji's cooking.

Never mind the fact that it was the ungodly hour of 3 AM or that Ash had not liked his cooking the last time.

Eiji softly padded off to the kitchen, keeping the bedroom door open a crack in case Ash needed help. He opened the fridge and frowned. Of course, none of them had gone grocery shopping since they would be on a plane by tomorrow. So, there wasn't much in terms of variety... or food. Eiji closed his eyes and shut the fridge door.

Okay, well, nowhere would be open right now, and even if places were open, it's not like he could just leave Ash alone in this apartment, especially when he was already having a bad night. What could he do?

Eiji took out his phone and began texting their friends Kong and Bones to bring some food if they were up.

Much to his dismay, they both responded relatively quickly. He pinched the bridge of his nose and groaned. Does no one sleep properly in America? Sure, he was also awake now, but still.

THUD

That definitely sounded louder than a couple of pillows. Eiji set his phone down and as he was turning towards the bedroom, Ash was already bursting through the bedroom door.

He was beyond disheveled, the sheet still tangled around his pale legs, his blonde hair sticking to his sweaty forehead, and a gun hanging limply in his hand.

"Eiji," He breathed, relief washing over his entire body. In just a few steps, Ash had closed the distance between them and thrown his arms around Eiji's shoulders. Almost automatically, Eiji's arms settled around Ash's waist and pulled him closer. The blonde stuck his face in the crook of Eiji's neck and inhaled deeply.

Goosebumps ran up and down Eiji's skin. He pulled Ash closer and noticed that he was shaking ever so slightly in his arms. He pressed a gentle kiss on Ash's shoulder, almost afraid to do so. He didn't want to kiss anywhere that would bring terrible memories flooding back from all of Ash's time being used and abused by Dino.

But...if he were to fall into his fear, he wouldn't ever kiss Ash again and that was out of the question.

"Ash, how are you feeling?" Eiji whispered despite already knowing the answer. Ash just shook his head.

"Are you hungry?" Eiji asked, pressing another kiss to the side of Ash's head.

"For your cooking? Pass" Ash huffed.

Eiji had to mentally restrain himself from shoving the blonde away. He's struggling. He needs comfort. Just because he's an asshole doesn't mean he should be left alone.

"Your friends are bringing food soon." Eiji said through gritted teeth.

"Mm good. You read my mind," Ash said and kissed Eiji's neck. Eiji rolled his eyes and flicked Ash in the ear.

Ash yelped and jumped back, covering his ear with one hand and pouting. How this man ran the most powerful gang in all of New York City was just beyond him sometimes.

"Why'd you do that?" Ash whined, rubbing his ear with the butt of the gun he still held in his hand.

"You're being mean." Eiji said simply and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Mean? You're the one who flicked me." Ash scoffed and finally set the gun down on a nearby counter. "You're the mean one."

"I can get meaner." Eiji warned with a raised eyebrow, mischief brewing in his mind. It had been a while since he had seen Ash smile...maybe there was a way to fix that.

"What are you thinking?" Ash asked, looking his Japanese boyfriend up and down. Something was brewing in that boy's mind.

"あなたはくすぐったいですか、アッシュ?" Eiji asked, not wanting to immediately let Ash know his plan.

"Uhhh...?" Ash responded, not sure what any of that meant. It was very rare for Eiji to speak to him in japanese, but whenever he did, it meant that playful trouble was about to ensue.

Eiji pounced, wiggling fingers ready to make contact with Ash's sides.

And then... he didn't make contact. One second Ash was standing right there and the next he wasn't. Eiji didn't even get a second to think before he was swept off of his feet and landed -- surprisingly softly -- face first on the floor. Ash sighed as he straddled Eiji's waist, as if this whole ordeal was just another day.

"Now, I have a feeling as to what you thought you were doing, Eiji, but I just don't understand why you thought you would win," Ash said, smirking as Eiji huffed and wiggled in frustration underneath him. Maybe jumping onto New York's more powerful gang boss wasn't the best idea.

"Let me go," Eiji sighed, pressing his forehead against the cold wooden floor. This was quite humiliating. Bones and Kong would be here any minute now with the snacks he had asked for not too long ago and if they were found like this it would be... embarrassing at best.

"Tell me what you said in Japanese." Ash said, pressing a hand against Eiji's back.

"There's... no translation." Eiji lied, his face flushing pink. He was suddenly very aware of his position here and how helpless he was underneath Ash.

"I'm sure there is, Eiji. I'll let you think about it." Ash said and for a moment, Eiji felt as if he was going to get out of his whole ordeal without any sort of consequences.

And then Ash's fingers began wiggling against his sides and Eiji felt his entire body go rigid.

"Are you ticklish, Eiji?" Ash asked teasingly. Eiji groaned and grit his teeth together in an attempt to hide his bubbling giggles. The wiggling fingers tickled over to his ribcage and Eiji began kicking his legs desperately.

"You seem to be struggling for your words there? I can help with your english if you need," Ash teased, noticing how much Eiji was struggling to hold in his laughter. It was kind of cute actually and it definitely helped with his post-nightmare mood.

There was one thing though, he did want to see Eiji's smile. In a quick fluid movement, Ash flipped Eiji onto his back.

"Hello there," Ash said and gave Eiji a quick kiss on his nose.

"Are you going to let me go now, Ash?" Eiji asked, trying his best to look as cute and vulnerable as possible so that Ash would have to release him instead of unleashing ticklish hell upon his poor ticklish self.

"Sure thing, Eiji, once you tell me what you said in Japanese," Ash said sweetly. And Eiji's stomach dropped. Should he just tell Ash what he asked? Would that help or hurt his predicament?

"I don't know the translation, sorry Ash," Eiji said with a very overdramatic sigh. He was very bad at lying.

"You're cute," Ash said with a shake of his head. "But if I have to kill you, I will."

That would have been absolutely terrifying coming from the Ash Lynx. In fact, Eiji was absolutely terrified of him right now. Sure it was a different type of terrified, but still.

Ash began wiggling and pinching his fingers up and down Eiji's soft sides. Eiji squeezed his eyes shut and his face scrunched up as he struggled not to laugh or giggle.

"You look like you're really struggling there. Would you like my help finding the English words?" Ash asked as Eiji weakly tried to fight back.

Eiji didn't know what was worse, the actual teasing or Ash pretending not to be absolutely taking him apart right now.

"Does this tickle, Eiji? How about here? I can't tell," Ash asked as he poked, pinched, and prodded at Eiji's ribs and sides. Something was bound to make him crack.

Then, it hit him. He took both of Eiji's wrists and held them above his head with one hand.

"W-wait, Ash, I-i was just going to--" Eiji began desperately as his most ticklish spot was suddenly available for Ash to fully exploit. Ash pressed their lips together, stopping Eiji from speaking. Sure, he wanted to know what Eiji said, but he was having too much fun tormenting his boyfriend to stop now.

With his free hand, he began spidering his fingers underneath Eiji's arm. Immediately, the trapped giggles began to flow from his lips. Those giggles quickly turned to laughter as Ash began kissing his neck as well.

"Ahahahahaahahahash!" Eiji laughed, his feet kicking against the floor as the ticklish feelings overwhelmed him.

"Your laugh is so cute," Ash hummed though he hoped that his soft musing would be lost amongst the laughter in the air.

"Ahahahasshu! Quihihihihihit it! Teihihhihihishi!" Eiji laughed, unable to keep translating to english as the ticklish feelings took up every thought in his brain.

"Did you forget how to speak English, Eiji?" Ash chuckled, a little proud of himself.

He took his hand away from Eiji's wrists and stuffed them both under Eiji's arms. With a screech, Eiji's laughter jumped up several octaves and tears of mirth pricked at his eyes.

And finally, Ash stopped. Eiji was left as a giggly puddle on the floor, attempting to catch his breath. When he opened his eyes, he saw not only Ash standing above him, but also Bones and Kong. They were all looking at him fondly.

Quickly, Eiji stood up, his face turning bright red.

"We brought some Mickey D's." Bones said in a sing-song voice as he pulled up several greasy brown bags. Eiji wanted to make a comment about how any sensible restaurant should be closed at this hour, but decided to keep to himself.

"And I'm going to beat you in smash this time around, boss!" Kong said excitedly, taking a bag from Bones and then hopping onto the couch. Ash chuckled and took a bag from Bones as well then settled next to his friend.

"You alright?" Bones asked in a low voice so the others wouldn't hear. If it were possible for Eiji to turn a deeper shade of red, he would have. Bones just laughed and handed over a bag of food. Eiji begrudgingly took it then went to take a seat next to his boyfriend.

As the game loaded up, Eiji wrapped an arm around Ash's waist and sighed.

"Would you like to know what I asked, Ash?" Eiji asked, his voice barely above a whisper. As tilted his head in curiosity, but his gaze remained on the game.

"Are you ticklish, Ash?"

#tickle fic #submission #ga!babe #y'all I am #so soft for these two #I'm begging for them to be happy #bless this for making things okay #the fix it we all needed #let ash and eiji be happy dammit #also I need everyone to know when ash said 'hello there' I fucking lost it laughing because all I could think was GENERAL KENOBI #I had to stop reading for a hot minute to laugh my ass off and text babe the hello there gif and let her know exactly where my brain went #she said she's never using that combination of words again #I think she should still #anyway besides the point #killed it again babe always a pleasure to get your fics #banana fish #ash lynx #eiji okumura

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

WINSoD - Pt.5

If One Should Fall...

Type: series, soulmate AU series (part 1, part 2, part 3)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x reader Word count: 3120

Summary: In which distribution of forces on the stones-retrieving mission changes. Because— reasons.The reason being a special visit someone pays you.

Warnings!: skip to post-Infinity War and the summary of it - you can imagine; deaths, violence....briefly tho, + language, mention of the inability to bear children, brief suicidal thoughts, kinda religious motives because SPN

A/N: Enormous time skip, because obviously CA:CW didn’t happen and the timeline is changed from canon already. Also, the title (What I’d Never Say or Do had I been in my right mind) is reeeeeally applicable in this one and somehow… it felt right to connect the chapters like this. Do not murder me…?

Part 4

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Forever was a funny word. A funny concept, perhaps. People always said they wished for some moments to last forever and what they meant was for them to last as long as possible, with no change in sight. Or they said that something unpleasant felt like it lasted forever, their souls craving an end of the misery, a fundamental change as the polar opposite to the first case.

You lived through both in the past years.

Sitting on your ass in a Wakandian palace, watching a battle unfold in front of you, an ensemble of great warriors fighting yet another army from space, that felt like forever, a never-ending nightmare and you only got to watch.

It set a pattern for you for several more years to come. To only watch.

You watched an alien creature steal the sceptre that the Avengers had decided to store in the palace and it did so while killing everything in its way. Princess Shuri had the great idea of hiding you and cuffing you so you wouldn’t stand in the creature’s path while she tried to stop it with the others. She ended up in shattered glass, only unconscious, as if thanks to a miracle.

You watched as… as she fell apart to ashes only minutes later; just like many, oh so many others.

Half of the population, they said.

Thanos, The Mad Titan, had wiped half of all living creatures.

The moment was carved into your brain forever. And the eternal time you waited for anyone to come back from the battle, to see Steve alive, because God, please, let him live – yes, that sure as hell felt like forever too.

Lives were lost. Bucky, Sam, Ryan, Wanda, Pietro, Peter, Shuri, T’Challa, Strange, Fury… the list went on and on. All of them, gone. Forever.

The world changed. Avengers ow officially didn’t exist and yet recruited new members all over the freakin’ space, which was the only way of finding out Tony Stark, who had disappeared on a spaceship, in fact, survived.

The missions of the greatest defenders of Earth changed as well. Some members took off to start a family, lucky enough to still have a partner to do so. Or to have the ability to pass their genes.

You couldn’t. Or maybe Steve couldn’t, it didn’t matter. You never pried after the source of your inability to have children; you two were one, a unity. You didn’t want to know so you could point fingers. You could tell Steve blamed himself, as well as he knew that your irregular period was definitely not helping. You made your peace. In fact, you admired Tony for finding the courage to create an environment for a child in this mad world; your lack of faith in being able to do the same had the opportunity rose ironically helped you to come to terms with the fact of your body was not functioning right.

In a way, it only drew you and Steve closer. You had valued each other before, yes, but now… you truly were like one. You backed him up in how he decided to honour Sam’s memory by starting a support group and he was the one to sense that in a search for reassurance, strangely materialistic, you craved an official bond with him, despite never saying a word.

You were Steve’s wife now – and you were each other’s rock, even during the poor attempt at defeating Thanos again.

Five years was a long time, a forever, one might say, but when Scott Lang, one of the people believed to been dusted, reappeared, forever and never became relative again.

Which led you to now; what was left of the Earth’s mightiest heroes was planning on retrieving the infinity stones.

Because they figured out how to time-travel.

Observing your reflection in the mirror, the circles under your eyes, you couldn’t but run your hand down your face and sigh.

You were still struggling with accepting the incredible fact of the possibility of coming back in time, yet you had to shush the hope inside you. Hope was a dangerous thing; certainly on such big scale as everything could being as it had been, hope that all the people who had lost their lives during the Snap could be resurrected.

As for a person who in fact had died once, it was easier for you to believe it was possible and you weren’t sure that it was a good thing. The fear of losing what you still had – read Steve, mainly – in the process, was paralyzing. It would mean your end, one you might deliver by yourself if it came to it, because you weren’t as strong as your husband. You wouldn’t make it through. Not after everything that happened.

You sighed again and tried to shake off the darkest thoughts.

When your eyes fell on the reflection again, a man stood behind your shoulder.

You spun on your heels and jerked away, your bottom bumping into the sink with a startled yelp escaping your lips.

In a fraction of second, several ways of defending yourself flashed through you mind; but the man was already three feet away; in a blink of an eye, before you could even move further.

Chest heaving with frantic breaths, hand over your heart, you stared at the intruder dressed in a three-piece suit and a red cravat. Of average height and maybe few pounds over healthy weight, smoothly shaven so his smirk could stand out, he looked… peculiar, especially given the fact he had found himself in the ladies’ room.

It shouldn’t have surprised you he spoke up with some kind of an accent on top of everything, but it did.

“Saving the world is exhausting, isn’t it?”

You stared at him, speechless. Your brain kicked into an overdrive, analysing how much of a threat he was, if he was like Pietro, too fast for Friday to catch him, or what was he-

“Who the-“

“I’m Crowley, darling. And you don’t need look so scared. If I wanted you dead, you’d be already lying here in a puddle of blood,” he reassured you like a sleazy businessman, all pretence at kindness.

You winced at the visual and narrowed your eyes.

“Alright, Crowley, what do you want? And what exactly are you?” you demanded, uncertain why you felt calm despite the man appearing out of thin air and speaking of you dying in the bloodiest way. Were you truly so numb these days?

He smiled, as if he was old friend. “I am a friend of Moose and Squirrel-“ What. “-or Sam and Dean, as you know them. I have no doubt they mentioned me. After all, my mother is assisting them more than she would like. You met her, incidentally.”

It didn’t take a genius to figure it out – you hadn’t met many people during your time with the Winchesters. This man… was probably a warlock. A witch. Rowena apparently had a son.

Well. Shit.

“Okay. So… you’re a witch or something. Means I shouldn’t trust you fully. Noted. Now what do you want?”

His face twisted in a theatrical insulted grimace, his palm laid on his chest as if you just shot him through the heart – which, by the way, would probably do nothing to him.

“First of all, I am here to help, so I don’t think you have other option than trusting me. Second of all, I am not a witch, I am the King of Hell, thank you very much-“

Somewhere in the back of your mind, Sam Winchester’s voice whispered something about the King of Hell having been Dean’s bestie for a while, which did not make you feel any better, only more confused.

“And thirdly… I’m here to tell you what you, my darling, need to do for this mission to be successful.”

You stared at him incredulously, his casual stance and animated speech bewildering, and had no clue what to make of it.

Yet, you let him speak. You let him give you the advice no one ever wanted to receive. Ever. But this sleazy man had told you about how he had saved the world before, side by side with the Winchesters and everything suddenly made sense.

Crowley, the King of Hell, answered the most burning question you had been asking yourself ever since coming back from the death, doing so more and more often these days.

Why.

Why were you given the second chance at life? Why you of all people? What was the purpose?

And now you knew.

Rowena was the greatest witch the supernatural world had ever created and she supposedly looked through all the possible futures she could. Tony had once told you, drunk and hurting, that Strange had done the same right before the battle and he only saw one way of how it could end with Thanos’ loss. Now Crowley told you the ‘one’ future was still in play, that everything was actually still on the way to the world’s victory.

The price of victory was high. History had taught you that.

But the price people paid for losing was higher.

And as much as you hated what you apparently had to do…

“Okay,” you rasped, guilt already gnawing at your chest, tears strolling down your face, fear eating you up from the inside, fear of unknown and yet known, instincts fighting the urge to do the right thing and finally actually help to the heroes you found yourself among while still useless.

You were only watching too long. Forever, one might say.

“Okay?” he echoed, clearly surprised by your antics.

You only nodded, wiping away your tears and forcing your breathing to calm and steady. There was no way you could go back to the base of operating in the living room like this. You needed to be a fucking grown-up. Grown-ups had to be okay with not being okay. You must finally become worthy of being Captain Amer- Steve’s wife.

“Yes, Crowley. I’ll do it. Though I still have no idea why you came here to tell me. Aren’t you supposed to be the bad guy?” you teased him lightly, your mouth speaking its will without permission, the question only half-expecting an answer.

“Well, my darling. It’s the end of the world as we know it. It doesn’t matter now if you’re good or bad. Not if you want the world not to end.”

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You were a terrible actress; a Razzies-nominee kind of actress. You couldn’t lie to save your life (the irony of such statement was not lost on you, yet it wasn’t properly appreciated either) and you were aware of the fact that Steve liked that about you. You could never lie to him. So you never tried.

You knew you couldn’t break that streak now, because he would see right through you. So you stooped lower than ever. Omitting the truth. Lying by not sharing the whole story. Whether you could make that work, only time would tell.

When you finally managed to compose yourself – at least more or less – and exited the bathroom, you found out that not much had changed. The team was still debating the details of best approach, uncertain but determined expressions on their faces.

Steve spared once glace at you and instantly was able to tell something was wrong. He hid you from the view of the others by his broad figure, concerned eyes scanning your face, observing and searching for any clue; for the source of your distress. As if the fact that they were – you all were, even if they didn’t know yet – about to time travel wasn’t enough to give one palpitations and serious stress-induced headache.

His tender fingers tucked a loose strand of your hair behind your ear as if it would help the mess your hairstyle must have been. A small encouraging smile graced his lips despite his own mind no doubt weighted down by numerous worries.

He didn’t have to ask for you to start talking, the brilliant colour of his eyes sweet and inviting enough.

“What if something goes wrong?” you questioned in a hushed whisper, not having to pretend to have such haunting thought. “What if… I don’t even want to think about what could it be. You’re going to need someone capable to pull you out. I am… I am not that capable. Definitely not when it comes to science of time-travel.”

Despite Steve acting like a human shield, your concerns were acknowledged by everyone, their heads snapping your direction. Steve, feeling all the curious eyes, cleared his throat and gently took your arm, leading you away from the prying ears.

“….excuse us for a second,” he hummed absently, waiting until he was out of earshot to speak with you again. “Doll… what- what is this really about?”

“What do you mean-“ you bluffed lamely in an instant, but the look Steve gave you shut you up.

“I know you, sweetheart. You can’t lie to me.”

If you weren’t dreading what you were about to do, you might throw a ‘watch me’ back at him. Instead, you aimed for an irritated tone – one that would be justified in case he would truly be questioning the claim you were about to point out.

“So you think I’m not afraid for you?”

A frown crossed over his face, his palm on your bicep tightening before he eased his hold to brush his thumb over the very same spot. “No! That’s not- I just know there’s something more. What is it?”

Gulping and averting his gaze, because the intense burn of genuine concern was unbearable, your mind raced with the effort to find the right words.

Your stomach was tied in tight knots, turning at the idea of playing Steve, more so for such nefarious purpose. But how else you could have convinced him that it couldn’t in fact be him and Natasha going to Vormir to retrieve the soul stone?

“I… I want to help. I need to help, Steve. You’re— you're so strong, always the hero and I’m not even close, I-“

“-need to prove my worth?” he finished easily, a knowing look in his eyes, and fuck him, how did he know—

He might not understand fully, he had no way of knowing what Crowley told you to do, but still, Steve was still able to recognize what fuelled your determination, what were your motives.

You opened your mouth uselessly, a shaky exhale brushing Steve’s face as he lowered his head to you, his eyes wide and genuinely troubled. God, you couldn’t bare the intensity of his gaze.

“Christ, doll. Where’s this coming from? Don’t be rid-“ From the corner of your eye, you saw him lick his lips as he swiftly cut himself off before calling you ridiculous. His large warm palms framed your face, forcing you to lock your gaze with his, passionate words accented by the burning fire of his irises. “You don’t need to prove anything to anyone. Not to them, certainly not to me. You are my everything and you are the most amazing person I have ever met-“

You closed your eyes, a soft smile tugging at your lips despite your better judgement. You never doubted Steve’s feelings, yet he was always quick to reassure you, having the patience of a saint whenever he noticed a hint of insecurity.

“I know. I swear I know that, I know how you feel, but- let me do this. What if… what if you don’t come back? What if you don’t come back and I’d be just sitting here, knowing I could have done something, but I didn’t. You’re too familiar with that feeling, Steve. Please. Let me come with you,” you pleaded in a hushed voice, hating you reminded him of losing you, but knowing it might be effective. “You know you can protect me when it comes to it.”

Brows drawn together, Steve observed you, baffled and yet understanding at the same time, torn between the instinct to have you protected at the compound and the responsibility he felt towards this mission. This was the fight of your lives; deep down, he must have known he couldn’t afford to jeopardize that even if it came to you. Which, naturally, didn’t mean he had to like it.

A clearing of one’s throat that sounded a bit like a clap of thunder interrupted your staring contest and you both glanced towards Bruce’s huge green form in the doorway, sheepish expression comical on his massive face.

“…sorry to interrupt, but… we kinda all think she has a point so-“

Steve’s sucked in air between his teeth, letting his hands drop from you face, only for one of them to run through his hair, the other balling in a fist.

You shrugged, the battle of emotions – victory and defeat at the same time, because God, why – no doubt visible on your face as Steve turned his attention solely to you once more.

“I’ll give you guys another sec…” Bruce hummed, backing out of the door, leaving you to deal with clearly irritated and reluctant Steve.

Thanks, buddy.

Wordlessly, Steve’s fingers slipped beneath your jaw, pulling you in for one of the strangest kisses of your life. H poured all his emotions into one simple gesture, hungry and intense, intimate wet sound of a dirty encounter of mouths echoing in the otherwise silent room. You allowed yourself to get lost in the sensation of Steve’s lips on yours, in his arm grabbing you and pressing flush against his hard chest; it was all too harsh for anyone to believe it was not a display of affection of a half-desperate man.

Breathless and with vertigo nearly overcoming you, you rested your forehead against Steve’s, mirroring his action once you parted. His eyes were closed shut, as if too heavy to kept open, but you could see that something in his expression shifted; you and Bruce won.

Peripherally, you noticed Crowley’s faint figure, the shortest of appearances as he nodded in approval and goodbye. You suspected he did something so Steve gave in; you didn’t care what and how, hoping it didn’t harm your soulmate.

Tears stung in your eyes when you realized what was to come and you forced them to be kept at bay, shutting your eyes close again.

“Fine, have it your way,” Steve rasped, his voice clearly irked, yet resigned. “But if you get one scratch on you, doll, just one, I’ll hold you responsible.”

No, you won’t.

You charmed a guilty smile, a lame tiny thing, and he inhaled sharply, only for huffing the air out.

“How could I, having my chivalrous man by my side?”

It earned you a kiss on your forehead, Steve’s fingers interlacing with yours when you made your way back to the other room where everyone waited.

Oh, how much it now hurt, the amount of faith Steve could put into you, charmed by your teary smile, that little thing puling on his heartstrings.

Oh, just how much it would hurt…

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Part 6

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This chapter might seem a bit strange, but hopefully it fits the atmosphere of Infinity War and Endgame…

Thanks for being here. I love you for your encouragement :-*

P.S. Here, have the last part of a SPN guide - visuals and references for Amara (God’s sister who gave back ‘reader’s’ memories) and Crowley (from this chapter).

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smallestclowninthecircus · 3 years

Text

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

#tma #neptune's tma notes #notes #tma season 3

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splazbee · 5 years

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A guide to Reverse Asra (and how to avoid it)

I’ve seen some people already covering the reversed routes for the characters, but I found the need to try and understand first hand.

So, after a lot of pain, I found my way to the Reversed Asra route. There are several keys to getting it, which is the same for all the characters: feed into their bad habits and negative traits. Don’t push them to change. For Asra, those negative traits are as such: his tendency to run away, to push away the problems, isolating himself and an obsessive need to keep MC safe.

The first three are all aspects of one problem. When talking with Asra about our past, he told MC about the argument they had. Asra wanted to escape the town, leave the people to fend for themselves and him to find a safe place. He wanted to go with MC, but MC wanted to help the city.

Here are some roots of the problem, and Asra can react in different ways. In the Upright route, Asra learns how to stand his ground in face of adversity, how to let people in and let them help. He can make MC grow. The other, Reverse reaction, is to regret even more not keeping MC safe and going to extreme heights to do so. He already gave up a part of his heart for MC to return to life, what more wouldn’t he do?

Encouraging his desire to run away, making MC look and act helpless, therefore making Asra believe MC would never survive without him, is the recipe for the disaster that is the Reverse route.

And here is why.

I went aaaall the way back to when MC and Asra went to his Sanctuary out of Vesuvia. MC is asked by Asra if they would prefer a big, bustling city, or a remote place. Answering remote appeals to his want to run away, especially with the apprentice. Clap and a half for escapism everyone.

The next choice is possibly not the most important in this whole scheme, but even choosing how to ride Beast can have its weight. Sitting in front is more adventurous, while sitting behind Asra? It already shows MC relies on him, in a way literally hiding behind his back.

I forgot to take my note in this choice, so i forgot where it was exactly in the midst of important choices, but it’s about MC’s dream. Telling Asra the dream about MC and him going off in a separate dimension or universe all of their own was a good one, welp, (a little maybe spoiler) lets not plant ideas in either Asra’s or MC’s head, m’kay?

Helping the villagers. While you do help them anyway, the way you go about it matters. Picking “We’re busy”, even though that is not exactly true, makes MC seem very callous, and selfish. Asra is shocked for a moment before he laughs. While picking this choice made me feel guilty, it does its job of isolating MC, and therefore Asra, from the outside world.

Next, relying on Asra to deal with the well. Again, enforcing the notion that MC needs to rely on Asra to do all the heavy lifting, and Asra, being the precious bean he is, shows once again that he would do anything for MC. This is not shaping up to be a healthy relationship people, especially for Asra.

Not taking the initiative and asking Asra to dance, and instead sitting in a faraway corner with him - isolation again.

Next the choice of going back directly to the palace, or first visiting the shop - this is avoiding the problems, leaving them for later. Running away from them. Not literally, not yet, but going there.

Meeting Muriel is the next on the chopping block. The most important bit is MC’s reaction to meeting him - whether MC is happy to meet him, or feeling nervous. Choosing nervous shows an unwillingness to meet new people, slight suspicion of them, and most importantly - a dependency on Asra.

Following this is MC’s opinion on Asra and Muriel. The choices being “Good thing you got away” and “Good thing you had each other”, based on previous statements, it’s written right there on the box which answer makes it more likely to get the Reverse route.

When Asra is confronted about his vanishing habit by Julian, MC saying “You’re always there for me” sounds suspiciously supportive, but it isn’t really, not in the long run. Telling Asra he has a vanishing-into-lands-unknown problem right in his face provokes change. In a positive direction, god forbid. I’m saying this sarcastically, but while he cares about Muriel, Nadia and Julian, if MC tells him to do something, he will follow it to the dot. Telling him he is always there for us just keeps him blind to his faults.

And so, we reach THE TRIAL. Picking the choice of Asra telling the people he’s innocent? Nicely packaged, but ultimately a bad decision. Asra keeps his secrets close to his chest, and while we all love this floofy boy, it is a fact he has quite the dark side. So he also lies. Condoning that is not okay. Him telling the truth challenges him. It’s against him. But he trusts MC, so when MC wants him to tell the truth, he changes. He grows.

Next up, MC asking Nadia to stop the fight is a bad choice, though I don’t believe it to be such a major one. But it shows one thing: no matter how much MC relies on Asra, they don’t truly believe in him or his abilities. This exact thing will play its role again in a later choice.

The next few choices are a bit foggy for me. I’m pretty sure in the next choice, picking “Let me help” is an Upright choice. Because wow, MC doesn’t want to rely on Asra and actually tries to be equal with him, like a healthy relationship should be? Whaaat?

When asked by Asra what MC would do in his place, I am confused as to which one is the Reverse choice. To me personally, “I’d do anything” seems to validate everything Asra has done for us, making it a situation of ends-justify-the-means. While I’m very happy that he did resurrect MC, because we wouldn’t have a story without that, it may push him into thinking that its always all in when it comes to MC. Pushing his protectiveness into an obsession.

“Why am I here?” and the “...” option seem to be the next Reverse choices. The first one shows that MC is still relying on heir teacher to explain things to them, a bit of naivete that kindles at Asra’s protectiveness. It’s a similar situation with “...” MC has no idea how to react, and need Asra to support them.

I’ll be shorter for the next choices, as this is getting quite long. “Did it change you?” seems to be the next Reverse choice, because “I’d do the same for you” is supportive, but i could be wrong here, as I was very conflicted. Trying to cancel the Masquerade is again avoidance of problems and running away. When it’s about Faust the “You’d do the same for me” seems to be the reverse choice. To me it feels like MC implies they don’t really care about Faust, and who would be so mad as to not like her, amirite?

Next up, dealing with the Devil. I picked No for his first offer, and then yes after he made Faust vanish. He confusion and fear broke me. Next I chose to tell the Devil that indeed, the Masquerade was enjoyable, but now we are so far into this Reverse hell, I don’t even know if it matters anymore. The next choice is very transparent - MC telling Asra they can’t do this alone after MC is left stranding in the Half world (what was the term for it again?)

Trusting Scout and telling the Magician MC doesn’t feel safe with him also aren’t very obvious to me.

Next up - Asra’s confession!!! I trembled as, when in the face of his declaration, I made MC stutter out an “I... um...” Get yourself together MC, this boy needs love.

Magic realm time! Choosing the “I just want this to be over” shows the now infamous in this essay need to escape and get away, preferably to some isolated place. When confronted with the magic chains, “Find a safer path” shows MC unwillingness to stand up to adversity, and, well, a lack of courage. How will MC deal with the Devil is now beyond me (pun not intended, but the foreshadowing is too good for me to redact this).

Interactions with Asra’s parents. As with Muriel, an unwillingness to meet and trust new people, no matter how close they may be to Asra, must be shown. To me shaking hands seems more impersonal, and later not commending the spell Asra’s dad crafted. When in a timed choice attacking the tree is too straightforward, so the Reverse answer should be when MC goes into ‘helpless’ mode and just going “what do we do?!” Then right after, unwillingness to trust Asra’s dad to heal us, making Asra do it, and the poor boy is so jittery and nervous and afraid and stressed he can’t cast the magic fully and/or correctly.

Here comes LUCI! Asra presents MC with the idea of trapping Lucio. And here comes that point from waaaaaay back up at the gladiator battle, where MC doubted his abilities and his decisions. Picking “I’m not so sure...” and then completely disregarding Asra’s advice about approaching the water, shows a complete lack of faith in Asra, unwillingness to listen to him and sealing the deal of his protectiveness of MC turning into an obsession.

SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 20

Finally, we have come to the Reversed route. Asra goes completely into a tunnel vision mode. Where in the Upright path, he suggests we use MCs blood to give the immunity of our magic to all the guests of the arcane feast, in the Reversed path he completely focuses on running away. Asking where we should run, the oasis or the shop, trying to find the right way in the maze.

At a moment he says “... we can escape. Make sure the ritual fails. That’s... that’s all we can do now.” and when Muriel’s charm starts to completely give out Asra says “You can escape. Run far away, live your life...” In answer to MC choosing to say “I don’t think I can”, he apologizes.

“I... I’m so sorry, MC. I wanted to protect you, but...”

Everything we started with. His desire to escape, run to a faraway place, protecting MC. All traits present thorough the story, fed by choices of at least 11 books. This is what causes the Reversed end.

He turned into a scared, helpless wreck of a man, desperate and trapped in his needs. And even if at the table, MC finally tries to take a stand and use Magic, its finally revealed why we can do what we can do, but seriously, we all knew we were the Fool already. Even then, MC has go make a deal with the Devil.

This is the end of this long, long essay. I’ll probably make a summarized version of this. More people will be inclined to reach the end at least :D

#The Arcana Game #the arcane game #chapter 20 #spoilers #upright #reversed #the arcana asra #asra the magician #MC #the apprentice #essay #the arcana #the arcana julian #the arcana nadia

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beyond-far-horizons · 5 years

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The Theme of Love, William Blake, DMC 5 and the fate of the Sons of Sparda

I’ve always loved symbolism and literary references in my favourite stories so I’m ecstatic to see the incredible William Blake join Dante Alighieri as a major influence on the Devil May Cry series.

Is before the game’s release too early to do some meta? Of course not!

So let’s dig deeper and see what possible plot points or themes we can glean from Blake’s work and other symbolism for what the dev team have said will be the conclusion for the ‘Sons of Sparda’

Spoilers abound - read at your own risk!

William Blake was a 18th Century English poet, artist and mystic who created his own complex religious mythology for his works. Sadly not widely known or respected at the time, he nevertheless had an increasingly powerful influence on the arts.

The main themes Blake grappled with were the hypocrisy of the Christian Church against what he saw as the natural forces of the imagination and sexuality. He was also very concerned with the effects of the Industrial Revolution on society, especially on the poor.

So he’s a good guy, but how does this relate to the Sons of Sparda?

Vergil and Urizen

The big bad of Blake’s mythology as most of you know by now is a god-like figure called Urizen. Blake hints that Urizen is the Christian/Abrahamic God but he is most similar to the gnostic Demiurge figure and represents according to Wikipedia ‘ Urizen is the embodiment of conventional reason and law.’

Now who do we know who puts cold logic above emotions?

‘He is said to represent the Heavenly host, but he experiences a Satanic fall in that he desired to rule. He is motivated by his pride and becomes a hypocrite. When Albion asks for him, Urizen refuses and hides, which causes him to experience his fall. After his fall, Urizen set about creating the material world and his jealousy of mankind brought forth both Wrath and Justice.[4] Wikipedia

Urizen being cast out from Eternity. Book of Urizen

Guys, it even says ‘motivated by pride’, what more do you want? More than this, Vergil does literally fall, unable to accept his loss to Dante and the path of emotion and honour Dante represents - the true inheritor of their parents’ will.

Despite Vergil’s coldness, he is filled underneath with anger -

‘What defines Vergil as a character to me is that while he seems like the perfect samurai in his very calm and calculated demeanor, you can always sense the simmering intensity and even rage.’ Dan Southworth

Yet he also exhibits a strange sense of justice such as refusing to stab Dante in the back as Nelo Angelo and pride in being a Son of Sparda TM.

In DMC 5 Urizen is described as a newly ascendent, powerful demon who seeks to use the Demon Tree to become king over the Demon World and (presumably via his actions in Red Grave City) merge it with the Human World. It’s been pretty much confirmed that Vergil is big bad Urizen in some form - from Dan Southworth’s re-pitched voice, Urizen’s looks - the blue colouring and spiky hair - and V’s assertion that Urizen is the Cloaked Man who stole Yamato - Vergil’s sword and who also has Dan’s voice and Corrupted Vergil’s looks. Also his scheme the same power grab Vergil tried in DMC 3 and the manga.

This being said, what does it tell us about Vergil’s motivation (sorry) in DMC 5? For this we need to look at the rest of the clues...

The Poison Tree

DMC 5 starts with the roots of the Demon Tree ‘Qliphoth’ invading Red Grave City and bringing with it a hoard of demons. It also seems to use the population’s blood as an energy source creating a demonic ‘fruit’ at its source that will grant the power to rule the Demon World according to demon Goliath.

This relates to Blake's poem "A Poison Tree" where, through suppression of anger, the protagonist’s rage grows like a tree and bears a fruit that kills his foe.

‘The allegory within the poem emphasizes that when a person hides or denies their emotions, they will become poisoned with bitterness and more vengefulness.’

https://www.enotes.com/homework-help/what-theme-poem-poison-tree-thank-you-144241

Again who do we know hides or denies their emotions? Given how closely the dev team are using Blake’s work this implies that Vergil as Urizen in some form has become consumed with bitterness and vengence, something we already saw from him in DMC 3. Added to this is his loss of pride at being the slave and puppet of his mother’s killer (Mundus) and being defeated by Dante a second time in DMC 1. We see this callousness in the way he treats Nero - his only child who he’s never met and Dante again in front of the tree.

(Interestingly this quote could also refer to Dante as a plot twist. I’d argue that although Dante is a lot freer with his emotions he perhaps hasn’t dealt fully with the rage and pain that life has dealt him - what do you think?)

Another interesting note is the word ‘Qliphoth’ which comes from Jewish mystic branch Kabbalah and means -

‘literally "Peels", "Shells" or "Husks" (from singular: קְלִפָּה‬ qlippah "Husk"),[2] are the representation of evil or impure spiritual forces in Jewish mysticism, the polar opposites of the holy Sefirot.[3]’

The Sefirot are emmanations of the Divine that manifest into this world and the pattern they are depicted in is also like a tree so the evil version makes the ‘Qliphoth’ a metaphysical demonic tree.

If we look at Urizen he looks like tree-like husk encasing another figure, connecting them to this tree. Trailers and promo material have also shown people encased in husks feeding the tree and the theme is repeated with Cavaliere Angelo being powered by Trish.

Does this hint that Vergil’s true nature is being obscured by Urizen or that, like in DMC 3 his pride and lust for power still obscure his caring side like the husks in Kabbalah?

In a Korean interview the dev team said DMC 5 will return to DMC 1′s theme of love (something I’m absolutely crazy about.) Sparda’s choice to protect humanity and love a human woman, Eva’s sacrifice for her sons and Dante and Vergil literally embodying the two human ways of dealing with the pain of that trauma have always been the most captivating aspect for me. Hopefully this means we will finally get the conclusion we lacked from DMC 1 and DMC 3 to that essential dilemma - is the best way of life via compassion and altruism or domination and control via dispassionate reason?

Or maybe a combo of both?

Love, Lust and Nero’s Mother

The DMC team have been remarkably coy about Nero’s mother which has always irritated me. It fridges another mother/lover character as well as denying us juicy( and I’d argue) essential story details aka why Captain ‘I Hate Humanity and Repress My Emotions’ would ever deign to sleep with a human.

But since the Korean interview hints at the theme of love perhaps we will get an insight at last, especially if we get the long awaited confrontation between father and son.

Blake’s writing gives us an interesting hint to this. In his mythos Urizen’s female counterpart is Ahania who stands for pleasure and the desire for intelligence. They have many children including a rebellious son called Fuzon who fights against his father’s repressive ways (Nero anyone?). But the crucial part is Urizen separating himself from Ahania because he believes pleasure is sinful or limiting - just as Vergil separated himself from human desires and emotions because he thought of them as weak. But also like Vergil, Urizen becomes weaker as a result, losing his intuition, for the path to Divine Wisdom accord to Blake was passion and reason - something Dante grew into, becoming more balanced and mature as the series has progressed.

It wouldn’t surprise me if we get some callous remark from Vergil about Nero’s mother at first - was he with her out of lust which disgusted him afterwards (wasn’t Nero’s mother hinted at being a prostitute?), or was it an experiment as someone else has suggested to see if he could recreate Sparda’s power via his connection with Eva or ven some creepy deal with the Order of the Sword to continue Sparda’s bloodline despite his intention to raise Temen-ni-gru and show them ‘this devil’s power’?

Whatever he says it will cause more of a rift, but I believe at the end Vergil will be forced to confront her importance even just as the mother of his child, along with other significant figures like Nero, Dante and Eva.

Nero and Urizen’s son Fuzon

"1: Fuzon, on a chariot iron-wing'd On spiked flames rose; his hot visage Flam'd furious! sparkles his hair & beard Shot down his wide bosom and shoulders. On clouds of smoke rages his chariot And his right hand burns red in its cloud Moulding into a vast globe, his wrath As the thunder-stone is moulded. Son of Urizens silent burnings

Blake

‘As the element of fire, the element symbolizing the energy Urizen wishes to subdue, Fuzon rebels against Urizen...battling him for control of the world’ Fuzon Wikipedia

This sounds much like Nero’s reckless and impassioned battle with DMC’s Urizen for control of the Human World.

Unfortunately for Fuzon he is eventually defeated by his father and crucified on the Tree of Mystery - yet another powerful tree symbol.

This is not looking good for Nero...but since Blake’s works develop, the element of passionate rebellion and the quest for the reunion of reason and imaginative emotion continue and I can’t see Nero dying at the end of DMC 5 so perhaps there will be a resurrection of sorts?

Dante and Luvah/Orc

But where does Dante figure in all of this? Can Blake’s mythology give us some potential answers? He does in the double figure of Luvah/Orc (no, not that sort of orc...)

Orc. William Blake

As Luvah - ‘he represents love, passion, and rebellious energy..’ he is also known ‘as the Prince of Love, and his name may be connected to the word "lover". Love is the supreme emotion, and it is connected to all others, including hate...his fallen form is Orc. Throughout Blake's mythological system, he is opposed to Urizen, the representation of reason.’

Orc is also ‘the embodiment of rebellion, and stands opposed to Urizen, the embodiment of tradition...’ He is a ‘"Lover of Wild Rebellion, and transgressor of God's Law"... Orcus is also the Latin word for Hell, and Orc is presented as a rebellious, Luciferian character.’

We can see Dante’s human and demonic aspects in these quotes.

Urizen and Luvah/Orc engage in a complex battle across the cycle of ages as a metaphor for the conflict between reason and the emotions - just like Dante and Vergil. He also gets crucified to a tree (not looking good for Dante either then...) but resurrects in various forms including (Blake being a Christian) Jesus. In this resurrected form Urizen is afraid of the new Luvah - perhaps in DMC terms this is when we see Dante’s Majin form? Either way I think both Nero and Dante are going to be called on to make some sort of sacrifice fighting Vergil as Urizen, hopefully to bring him back to the light and free him from the evil husk of hatred.

Healing the Division

‘Later in Vala, Orc describes the divided aspects of the soul, which, in Blake's mythological system, God has a twofold essence that is capable of good and evil. This idea parallels Blake's personal belief that there was a division within himself..’.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orc_(Blake)

The symbolism of divided aspects of God and the soul within Blake’s system hark back again to the division between Dante and Vergil and Vergil and Nero. In the manga Vergil reflects on Dante and him being one being split in two. The aspects of their all-powerful father were also split between them as Sparda was also known as being calm like Vergil and rebellious like Dante as reflected in his two swords given to each respective son. And of course there’s that ‘pesky’ human nature from Eva.

Nero too has grown into his own, arguably as some have said being more like Sparda than either of his sons, willing to sacrifice his power because of his love for a human and protect other humans for her sake. Hopefully as hinted in both the Korean interview, the works of Blake and the core of Devil May Cry, it will be the theme of Love that will finally bring the family of Sparda together and heal at long last that division.

V and the Poetry of Blake

Despite being the mouthpiece for a lot of Blake’s poetry I’m not going to talk much about V except to refer you to this great post from la-vita which lists alot of his quotes.

https://la-vita.tumblr.com/post/182731950816/two-of-the-poems-v-reads-during-battle

It says that V’s book may refer to the ‘V’ of DMC V, Blake’s Plate 5 he is reading, however...

‘Urizen is described as having multiple books: Gold, Silver, Iron, and Brass. They represent science, love, war, and sociology, which are four aspects of life.’

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Urizen

Hmm...

Thanks for reading if you got this far!

#dmc 5 #devil may cry 5 #dmc #devil may cry #Vergil #dante #nero #v #meta #my meta #william blake #long post is long

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