I excell at baking things when I am stressed out. 🙃

Watched this little guy all of yesterday and for a couple of hours yesterday :)

Had to get dressed up today because I was photographer of a christening.

🍊

Tired af.

Me and Aura went out for blackberry picking today, we saw thr biggest garden spider, which I was really happy to see but put Aura off being too close to the bushes! 😂

The outcome of the hospital appointment today was RIDICULOUS and not for the reason you would at all suspect.

Aura had her hospital appointment for her ear, when she was little she failed a hearing test, was diagnosed with glue ear in one ear, she was recently also diagnosed with a perforated eardrum in the same ear and she could barely hear anything where the problem ear was concerned. This has led to me worrying over her hearing for years and especially the last year and a half when she has been getting regular infections and we were told she needed her ear vacuumed to get all the wax and dirt out because for whatever reason it wasn't coming out on it's own, otherwise these infections were just gonna keep happening, but she also couldn't have it done if her ear became infected again because the appointment would be pushed back until it wasn't infected again.

So we have had 3 appointments cancelled, one of which I actually cancelled because Aura was one of the unlucky kids around the time of the appointment to catch Strep A. So when we finally made it to appointment day, I'd mananaged to keep her ear uninfected with all kinds of sprays and drops, we had no cancellation letters and we were actually going this time, I was absolutely overjoyed because these infections have been going on a year to two years and its awful when her ears got infected becsuse nobody likes to see their child in pain aswell as struggling to hear.

We get to the hospital on time, everything is going great, we check in and all of a sudden when we get to to audiology department and sit in the waiting room the nurse approaches me and says "oh this appointment was meant to be cancelled due to the strikes, did you get a letter?" And I said no because I had not and I think she saw my heart sink because honestly I was gutted in that moment for Aura and she then followed it with "We have had a chat and we have however decided to go ahead and vacuum her ear because you are here now, there will be a delay while we get set up." And I was so thankful I said "thank you so much" because honestly in that moment where I thought she wasn't gonna have it done today I actually could have cried. One of the infections was so bad we actually have like wax and blood come out of her ear, it was bad, it was super important that it was done.

So we go in and I explain she's had glue ear and a perforated ear drum and the doctor asks if she's got hearing issues and I said yes because she obviously does, everything has to be up full volume, she can't hear me shout of her sometimes ect... and he takes a look in her ear, he says he can't actually see any scarring in the ear so she can't have had a perforated eardrum and he can't see any evidence of glue ear either, so I am baffled and sat there like "HOW?!?!" And he says he will see what's causing the problem and it's probably just trapped wax, reassures me, then he then gets the tiny vacuum and starts getting all the nasty out of her ear and then he stops and asks me if aura has ever put anything in her ears and I tell him no, not to my knowledge and he explains he can see something in her ear stuck to her eardrum, caked in wax and says he's gonna try and get it. He has a couple of attempts and immediately gets it. It was a tiny pink, shiney almost skin pink coloured sequin, it immediately came out and she was like "I can hear". It explained everything, it would explain the glue ear diagnosis because the shine would have looked like water and it wouldn't of been stuck to her ear drum at the time and it explains the perforated ear drum diagnosis because it would have looked like a scar due to the little ridges and the shine. Myself , the nurse and the doctor all laughed when we realised all this bother had been caused by something so tiny, we also laughed because if the sequin was a green, purple, blue or any other colour it would have been picked up on right away and wouldn't of been in her ear for literally years causing havoc, it was completely ridiculous and so random.

So there is nothing wrong with Aura, she just somehow got a sequin in her ear when she was younger and did not tell anyone. 😂😂😂🙈🙈🙈

I think my mama just won at bringing gifts back from her travels! 😂

One from last weekend. 🙂

May aswell have worn a potato sack all week then put make up on for one night only! 😂

Elijah turned 11 on the 28th of march. I feel pretty old right now. I don't know if anyone from the old days still comes on my tumblr and checks out my blog but I can imagine this would make those people go "wow" too. Where did the time go? 😅

I feel like he was just born. Like STAHP with the growwwwwing! 😂

He's off to secondary school/high school this year. He got offered his school place and I just sent the admission forms off 3 days ago.

Bit delayed in posting this but the kids absolutley loved going to their first gig to see the vandoliers, Less Than Jake and Bowling For Soup with their mortifying mama and their crazy aunty Heln in Newcastle! ❤

We all had a great time, I was worried but when we were in the line to get in but when they got in and the vandoliers were playing a song they knew and I saw their faces light up and saw them singing along I knew we were gonna be just fine and they were loving it! (It was also an adjustment for Me paying for three because I have never spent £95 at a merch stand in my whole damn life!😂😂😂)

Perfect first gig to take them to! People we were surrounded by made sure the kids had space and could see at all times, the cute corner we were in wouldn't so much as let anyone walk infront of them and even made sure they got to the barrier and the staff were second to none! One staff member took Auras phone on stage during my favourite song of theirs and filmed bowling for soup and at the end of the gig went and got them a set list each as a keepsake which was very sweet! ❤

We ended the gig with the kids saying "can we go again?! What can we go to next?!" After me and Heln explained that all the other bowling for soup gigs are sold out their little faces were gutted! So I'm now actively looking for the next thing. 😅🤣

Today I absolutley sucked. ✌️

Last night I could not sleep (common issue in my world, I know.) No matter what sleep aid I took, what I did, last night was a bad night for me, it was particularly awful because it was my management shift today. YIPEE... so I ended up FINALLY managing to get myself to sleep for a light nap, I got up at 6am, threw on my work clothes and while I was looking in my drawer for socks, I literally fell asleep The sims 4 style from exhaustion while trying to find the socks. Then slept through two alarms that I set for work and suddenly I opened my eyes and realised it was light outside and instantly knew I was late as fuck because it was 9am and I wasn't meant to be on the floor, I was meant to be at my desk about 30 minutes previous to that moment. So I jump up and like any normal person, naturally I scream "SHIT" and I ran, SOCKLESS BY THE WAY, I ran so fast from my house to work I got to the other part of town in less than seven minutes and now I have blisters from my vans. JOY...

I get to work and a customer is pulling up and hops out of his car, he's like "do you open later now?" And I'm like frantic and out of breath telling him "no. I slept in, ill tell you more when I can breathe again." Because I ran RELENTLESSLY to the point where I was coughing and coughing and I'm trying to call admin and I can't even speak to admin because I can't catch my breath, she's like "imma call you back", I'm trying to set everything up in the shop, the dude who caught me outside decided to help put things up on display (which I really REALLY fucking appreciated) and I eventually got the shop together and made myself a coffee. I then popped to to toilets and l caught a glimps of myself in the mirror AND FUCK ME, I looked like I had been on a week long bender! My hair was all over, bags under my eyes, pale (probably from the lack of oxygen in my body) I looked dishevelled and ridiculous! 😂

Luckily for me because of how open I have been with the admin and higher up colleagues about what is going on in my life I was instantly given a decision of "no further action" because as it was said on the phone, they are aware of how much I have going on at the moment and they think it's a wonder that I power on through and haven't taken time off, which I appreciate. I also spoke to admin about everything new going on and found myself laughing at points and it was weird but nice, because she was laughing with me and i said "sorry I know I shouldnt laugh but I do just find myself laughing at that now. Like it's really not funny HA!" and she said "Misty, that's trauma, you've had a lot of trauma lately, sometimes when we process that we find ourselves looking back and laughing." While also laughing with me and she's very right.

Towards the end of my shift I was 30 minutes late out because people wouldn't leave and then some random guy decided to walk into my life and put £57 worth of coins made up of various small change into one of the machines and then turn to me and say "well that's one way to get rid of my shrapnel!" And smile. LITERALLY. It made me wish there was shrapnel in my brain because he could of just brought me the money and I would have changed it for him and not had to count it at stupid o'clock and TO TOP IT OFF. I HAD TO COIN EVERY PENNY AND THE MONEY WAS FUUUUCKING STICKY!!!! 🤮🤮🤮 I was too exhausted and cranky to be dealing with sticky dirty money!

In all seriousness I am not surprised I was so tired that I just flopped because at the moment I find myself feeling like a forgotten part of society. As a mother I have been in many situations in my life, I have been the teenage mother, I have been the workaholic motherand I have been the judged tattooed mother but weirdly I find this most recent one the toughest, and I can respect the fact that I have clawed my way to making it to a place where some people who didn't have kids as a teen would struggle to get to but there is literally no fucking help for a 30 year old woman who owns her own house who's relationship ended. Right now I am on antidepressants, sleep aid, iron, folic acid beause of b12 anemia, I'm working my ass off, not using childcare so it doesn't gobble up my wage. The other parent moved 40 minutes away and the only help I am getting is from my parents, for a day and a night a week, I'm still hosting the sleepovers, I'm still playing the games, I'm still making ends meet and on top of all that I am fixing up this house! It's like when your kids are over the age of 5 years old you are just expected to juggle on a unicycle with flaming wheels and keep the shit show going and smile til you drop and I don't get it! We just have to get though it! It seems to me eveytime you find a helping hand you can't reach for it because it will risk fuck up something else and its not fair. Nobody wants to end up a single parent at 30 but it seems like as a woman of this age, in this position in society you are pushed to your limit and backed into a corner.

On a lighter note, I have 2 days holiday now and I am taking the kids to their first gig tomorrow with my best friend! I am going to let my hair down and embarrass the life out of my kids! 😁

One from yesterday. I got ready for work too quick and ended up having a spare 2 hours lazing around while the kids were at school.