do you have a writing routine? how do you reconcile it with other stuff (working, studying, etc? do you have any tips? (asking this as a writer who does not have the bloody time/energy)

not really! if i was writing to make a living i'd probably need one, but as it is since i'm just writing for fun i tend to go with the flow. for the past 2-ish years i've been working a 9-5 with like weekends to myself and vacation time etc, and honestly that has left me a lot more time to pursue hobbies than i had as a university student (wayyy harder to find time + energy 2 write when i was already writing papers all the time + working part time jobs + participating in extracurriculars + hanging w friends etc...honestly i've found working fulltime to be a lighter workload than university lmao).

i know for some people a writing routine or like trying to sit down and write x amount of words every day can be helpful, but for myself it usually is more discouraging than anything because it makes me feel like there's like...a certain amount of writing i'm supposed to be churning out. and honestly i think this is a mentality that's very accepted amongst writers--the idea that you need to write a lot to somehow be worthwhile as a writer or call yourself a writer, the idea that writing slowly or not writing much is inferior, etc. and i think a lot of that mindset is like. capitalist brain tbh. the idea that you need to be constantly producing and producing a lot or ur somehow failing.

again it's different for different people in terms of helpfulness and it may be more or less necessary depending on why ur writing/what ur writing for--but i started writing fic purely for fun, and then i started to notice that i was feeling pressure to churn out as much writing as i could as fast as possible, and it got to the point where it was making writing not fun anymore. so now i'm trying to completely expunge the mindset that i have to write for any reason if i don't feel like it--because i don't! and i genuinely enjoy writing and want to write, so if i give myself time and space to do other things then for me it's pretty natural to sit down and write for a few hours for fun eventually.

so i guess as far as tips go my main one would be like. spend some time reflecting on why u want to write + what sort of pressure ur putting on urself + where that pressure's coming from. for me approaching writing as something that is first and foremost about the joy of just making up a story and less about producing a finished product has been the most helpful mindset shift in helping me write more consistently

The Unfortunate implications of basically all of Lily's work: 99 tabs of tvtropes and a wiki.

This one's a doozy, but I'll be damned if it's not one that needs covered. As anyone who's taken a critical look at the infamous list of 100 tips could tell you, it's full of tvtropes jargon. While it will take a while to explain in full why this is awful, a shorthand exists that sums it up, "putting the cart before the horses." As in you shouldn't be pre-planning tropes at all, for like the concept of genre, it is often ascribed to the work in post. Though even that explanation is a little too economic, so as always, check under the cut for more.

I think a practical demonstration is in order, so let me set a stage. Superman has just recovered from being thrown through a wall by Darkseid, roughs him up until they are outside, talks about how dainty the world feels to him, and assesses Darkseid is capable of not dying to Supermans 'normal' and badda boom badda Bing, the codifying moment for The World of Cardboard Speech! Sure, there's literal seasons of context missing, and it notably doesn't include the ensuing beat down and subsequently bamboozling of Supe. Just him saying world made of Cardboard and presumably having the chops to deliver.

There in lies the crux of the issue. You always lose something when you boil down to tropes. As with the above example, all the little details on what makes the moment so iconic, recontextualizing the seasons of willful weakness, the implications that Superman is still not going all out and is just 'cutting loose' for the first time, none of that actually matters to the trope in a vacuum. Not to mention, one could easily break the world of cardboard speech into even more tropes or let it be absorbed into bigger, vague-er tropes.

Tropes have their place in making larger concepts more digestible and give valuable perspective in how and why these tropes crop up, but it's necessary to remember that even simple characters can embody dozens upon dozens of individual tropes! To a point that indeed trying to think about a character by just their tropes becomes an effort in arbitrarity, if not futility. Tropes are trends other people find in a work and decide to break down into small digestible chunks. Less a bible and more a smattering of quotes loosely bound together. If you are writing in accordance with tropes, you are almost inevitably trying to churn out a finished product first try, for you aren't making organic characters and scenarios, you're ticking boxes on a list. Making a personal experience impersonal. Never write with Tvtropes open.

This leads us to the equally important, but needing far fewer explanations, wiki's. Most commonly referred to as info dumping grounds for the fandoms they are built for. While being easier to sum up than tropes, it has the same glaring issue in that it rarely paints the full picture as its purpose is to speak the facts of the matter rather than live in the moment. Goes without saying that, especially as a creator, it is all too easy to pack it full with worthless knowledge and call that exercise in procrastination somehow productive.

That's when it hit me, and I knew I needed to sit down and say it. Lily has wiki's for her fanfics and tvtropes pages for them as well. The Pokemadhouse wiki, we have confirmation that she's actually did write it. The rest are only suspected, as unlike Lily, I have too much integrity to boldfacedly lie even when I'm probably right. Though enough being petty, for it hit me really hard in one key way in that creators are most certainly NOT supposed to be writing these pages, and the fact she has leaves open some unfortunate implications.

Firstly, if we are to assume that these exist as reference for Lily, that's an ill omen. It frames her work in the light of a dispassionate data keeper, for no amount of tropes will encompass a properly rounded character, along with forever fattening a public wiki page implies viewing every detail as necessary and that will be addressed in a future comic. Hell, even if Lily wasn't subject to the skewed priorities that the websites can encourage... it's still leaving your notes in a public space made for people to read. You aren't allowed to be mad that people say shit about it. Your computer came with the Notepad app.

On the flip side, the more likely explanation is vanity. It is in truth that having a tvtropes page and / or a wiki dedicated to your work is actually a huge honor, a golden glittering beacon of fan engagement as they compare notes and keep their facts straight. The fact that her tvtropes and wiki's are self authored as an attempt to fluff her ego or make her one of the big shots of the fandom world is as hilarious as it is utterly pathetic. And it is pathetic. It paints a picture of fanatical control of what people think and / or simply not being able to drum up enough fan engagement that anyone considers wiki tending worth the effort. It's literally a scam! "Look! this fic has wiki's and tvtropes pages it must be good!" Don't make me laugh. It's a chest full of medals of honor that all suspiciously look like glazed clay secured to dollar store ribbons with crazy glue.

With all that said, it really boggles my brain that people excuse the allegations leveled against Lily. Half-baked contrarian critiques and fanfiction's so unengaging that she has to manufacture the engagement herself? That's more than enough to just ignore all the real hurt she's caused to real people? The tales of Brittany, Courtney, Sunny, and Lizzy are meaningless under the ultimate creative potential of somebody who can't even both change the cadence of her voice when she's playing with her sock puppets? That somebody operates with this prolific combination of cluelessness and Vanity is just above consequences? You have to be fucking kidding me. This is why I'll be poking holes in her work. It's not that good, and definitely not on any level where anybody should avoid at least acknowledging all the awful she both has done and still perpetuates.

Pokemadhouse is nowhere near good enough, along with the things Lily is accused of being so heinous that i do hate to imagine anyone could look at Lily typing this in reference to a fictional caricature of her wife

And be anything less than deeply concerned.

I think everyone's feelings are valid on everything. But, I really want to say that soap operas are not the place to go to find satisfying writing. Sometimes the writing is good, sometimes it'll be great, but most of the time it leaves you wanting. It's sort of the nature of the beast. It's really hard to write for something 260 days of the year and be able to really have the quality that you want because you have to churn out so much.

I'm going to be really honest as someone who's watched soap operas their entire life and has watched both US and UK soap operas, and has some first-hand knowledge on the BTS of US soaps, UK soaps are infinitely better written than US soaps any day of the week. The production values are insanely better in the UK. And it seems like the people who create the UK soaps actually care way more about how the audience feels and wants then I saw in US soaps.

And I think that's why, while I understand everyone's very valid criticisms about all the UK soaps that we watch, I always feel that they do such an amazing job. It's because the comparison between the two very different types of soaps - UK and US - and having been exposed to the US ones first - makes me much less critical of the ones that I watch now.

But hear me when I say to you that all the things that you want are valid and I wish that there was some way that everyone could get everything they wanted from their soaps. ❤️❤️❤️

I guess I will join the contingent of kpop lurkers to ask if you had any thoughts on skz’s album out last week. For me I was really underwhelmed by five star and didn’t think any of it was really memorable, and I feel similarly about this one. Their title tracks in particular are just not exciting anymore, even while they’ve had some really iconic ones in the past. I think cover me might have been their best song on this album, but I’m also a sucker for pretty ballads (that don’t have as obviously cringe lyrics like youtiful), and social path was a nice closer. It might be weird to say as a fan, but I wish they’d put out less music, if only bc they churn out so much music that a lot of it becomes repetitive or just shouldn’t make the cut. Maybe they’ve hit a rut? Their rap line does almost all of the writing and production (I think mostly without any in house team) and I think it shows. Maybe I’m stuck in a different corner of the internet, but I think this release made almost no noise? Though their sales have been consistently good lately

Thank you!! That's really sweet!!

I'll be honest, it was a struggle to finish the album. My SKZ reviews are always the same. Stray Kids have so many moments of brilliance. God's Menu is fucking genius, I love The Tortoise and the Hare, their instrumentals slap. Sadly, SKZ don't live up to their potential. Their songs follow a very consistent formula and I can't stand it anymore atp - the first 10 seconds of a song are always great and you think the song is going to be epic, then Felix, Changbin, etc. rap (too expected now), but when the slow pre-chorus comes I feel like throwing my hands up in frustration. It's always the same terrible slow chorus, followed by a beat drop chorus, and a slow bridge. I'm so absolutely done with this formula.

Even Changbin's rap annoys me now tbh. He's good but he always raps the same way, and it makes every song sound the same. I think Han is more versatile.

SKZ have charisma and energy performing, but their lack of skills holds them back a lot when the song and choreo aren't good. Han and Changbin are the only ones who can rap - Hyunjin is pretty weak and Felix is a bit better, but not good either - and no one sings well - Han and Seungmin are the best, but their tones aren't very pretty. The group suffers a lot because no one has a very attractive voice. I.N is pretty weak vocally.

Also, their dancing skills are not great overall. Lee Know doesn't have the best stage presence and has a lot of weaknesses and Hyunjin has plenty of weaknesses too. I often think Han looks the best executing the whole choreo. He's pretty talented.

Anyway, I didn't like the title track - they haven't had a strong title track in a while - and I think I liked Leave the most? I listened to the album yesterday so I can't remember.

I agree that they release a lot of music, but even if they put out less of it, it wouldn't be better? They just need to break the formula and write better lyrics. The instrumentals are already good.

Thanks for the ask!

X Files Season 2

Alright, my husband and I are pretty solidly into season 3 by now and I've just been tired and haven't felt up to writing my thoughts about season 2.

I'm still very tired but I'm going to give it a shot before I forget about 90% of season 2. I can tell you that the success of the first season is very apparent in the production value. The special effects, the make up, even the quality of the film seemed to improve drastically between seasons. I also feel like the writers felt like they could get away with a bit more now. It feels a lot edgier, there's a bit more gore than before, despite being restrained by the boundaries of what's allowed on television.

I feel like there are a lot more memorable episodes this season as well. The first time I watched this season I remember being very surprised at some of the plot points and revelations, particularly about Mulder's sister. Not surprised by them but rather how early they appeared in the lifetime of the show. I thought for sure that we wouldn't see Samantha Mulder until much later in the series but as it turns out (Spoiler: she wasn't really his sister, she was an alien/human hybrid clone).

Again, I don't have time to talk about every episode but I do want to talk about a few notable ones for me. Most of the episodes in this season were exceptionally good.

Best Episodes: S2 E5 / E6 / E8 - Duane Barry / Ascension / One Breath

An absolute knockout trilogy of episodes. The saga of Duane Barry and Scully's abduction is not just one of the best stories in the series but a watershed moment for the show. While season one had some defining plot points, Scully's kidnapping feels like it really shaped the show and affected everything to come.

Great Episodes:

S2 E13 - Irresistible An incredible episode. It dealt with a lot of really heavy topics I won't get into but the moment at the end where Mulder and Scully hug after she finally breaks and shows her own vulnerability. Pfaster is such a terrifying villain as well.

S2 E3 - Blood A classic episode. Though it feels like the idea of rogue technology and conspiracies of the public being drugged with mind altering substances are themes that pop up sort of frequently. Not complaining too much since those are often really good episodes.

S2 S22 - F. Emasculata An episode that almost feels less like the X Files and more like a suspense contagion movie. One of those race-against-time episodes that keep you engaged all the way to the end. It was also particularly graphic with pulsating boils and some rather stomach churning moments.

S2 S20 - Humbug A rather lighthearted and silly episode despite the looming murders that grip a town of side show performers.

S2 E16 / E17 - Colony / End Game A good two parter that expands on the alien/human hybrid and clone mythos and introduces one of the most intimidating villains of the show, the alien bounty hunter.

Bad Episodes:

S2 E11 - Excelsis Dei An interesting but disturbing episode. I don't want to go too much into the rather triggering matters but I like the idea of an episode about astral projecting and if I remember correctly, there are other episodes about that but done a little better.

S2 E18 - Fearful Symmetry Not the worst episode but not very memorable. I'd completely forgotten about it until it came on and I was like, 'Oh yeah, this is the one about the zoo animals that turn invisible.'

S2 E12 - Aubrey Just kind of a dull episode. Terry O'Quinn from lost is in this episode and is really good! It's just a shame that the episode overall was nap inducing.

The Worst Episode: S2 E7 - 3 A boring, moody mess. I do think an episode solely about Mulder or Scully is a great idea but it doesn't work here. I do think they're both great working together but the melancholy that looms over the whole episode, and the fact that it's trying hard to be some kind of erotic vampire thriller, just turns it into a brooding, mumbling mess.

Overall a great season!

Oh, hello again. - from wp blog, 22/05/2020

Hello, dear visitor! Apologies for the week's delay: I've been going through a period of change (what's new) that upset my usual routine of hunkering down on a Saturday and churning out a post.

First of all, I'm reconsidering how I'm going to approach this blog - in response to the restrictions of our current situation, I traded café reviews and event-themed reflections for slightly-less event-filled reflections and samples of my latest story. However, the more I write for this story, the more I realise that it may be a dangerous game to publish it on the internet where someone could exploit it. Although I had that in mind from the get-go, I'm starting to see drafts that I may end up including in a final book form, and it would involve some legal complications if someone else had put that book together from here and claimed it as their own. You may think it paranoid, but us artists have to be careful, especially when we're small. It's important to be strategic and look after your creative work. If you wish to see more of my latest fictional project, just get in touch via Facebook and I'm sure I could negotiate a peek. I'll definitely need some of you for feedback in the probably-distant future.

Now, that doesn't mean I won't ever post something creative - at about the frequency in the past, I'll probably pop in a poem here or there or make you a short story. I might also reference how progress is going on my main story (for instance, last week was particularly productive, involving around 4, 500 words). But I'd also like to try out a new format, in which I explore ideas, somewhat academically, with varying proportions of research backing them up. I'll probably name the series 'Conversation Starters'. The idea is that I'll present and explain a certain topic, and give my view on it (if it is that kind of topic), and in turn you, the viewer, can put your own informed opinion down in the comments section. By doing this, I hope to engage both my and your brain, in these times when it may be difficult to feel engaged. Let's have a discussion! An actual conversation over a cup of tea, rather than the usual monologue-but-pretending-you're-involved-directly-in-a-dialogue. Coming soon, to a blog near you.

I'm also planning to make each post a bit more 'isolated', so that any old stranger could make sense of whatever I've written that week. This means there might be fewer 'apologies for the delay' on the direct opening of my blog. This definitely goes for the 'Conversation Starters', although it might be harder to achieve for my ongoing reflections.

Speaking of which, that brings us to the end of the foreword and the beginning of the actual content. (ooh, 'content')

I've been trying out a lot of things for the first time - well, a lot for me. The other day, I semi-solved a Rubik's Cube; I've been intermittent fasting successfully (successfully meaning I've been gaining a bit of weight and feeling less bloated); and, for this week's post, I felt so out of touch with the routine of my blog that I consulted my last post for the first time. She managed to write these things, surely I can too? Wait, how? How did she write these?

In fact, I can't believe that that last thing I talked about on here was all about my thoughts on the future and all that dramatic life decision-making stuff. It's hard to imagine how that took up my thoughts so intensely, now something well and truly settled in my mind. Nothing's set in stone, of course, but I'm not as stressed and I feel a comfortable level of informed. It just goes to show that whatever seems of UTMOST IMPORTANCE now, will most likely pass, and you'll look back and think how crazy it is that that a) happened and b) was so important at the time. But, also, I recognise that it was important for me to go through that, as now I have that peace of mind about that particular thing and can move on, knowing that I am a little more mentally prepared to face that kind of thing in the future.

After that, my brain moved on and found more things to think about and do. Like most things in life, however, it was greatly influenced by something other than my own unprompted search - and out of everything, by The Study Skills Handbook.

At first glance, it was categorised in my mind as yet another thick academic text that needed concentration and focused attention, and it took me almost 8 months of it existing on my shelf and a pandemic for me to pick it up. As soon as I began reading, I knew my preconceptions were inaccurate. It's a lovely, guiding book that informs of the reality of learning at university, what to expect, and how to develop various skills so you feel equipped to deal with higher education. It reminded me a lot of when I had online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, full of reflective exercises that help you gain perspective on your own habits and your strengths and weaknesses. It inspired me, no, motivated me to try and develop myself, although I was already satisfied with my current level of 'doing'. This was just a bit of extra homework.

One of the chapters talks about 'Intelligence', and the different theories on it. One such theory involves a guy called Gardner and his idea about how there are multiple different kinds, which might seem obvious now, but was a revolutionary discovery for learning at the time. And in my opinion, it is still revolutionary to consider and incorporate into your learning. It's the basis upon which I constructed changes in myself, or maybe it'd be better to phrase it as 'contributions' to myself.

I took the different areas of intelligence he considers and looked at which ones I felt strong about. 'Linguistics' felt an obvious strength, but my logical and visual-spatial intelligence seemed to be somewhat lacking or, rather, unused. So, I made a mind map of all the things I could think of doing right now, in the current situation, instead of putting off life until the situation changes. I put nothing too 'new', and instead tried to put things that had already been at the back of my mind. I tried to support my weaker areas with my stronger ones, another thing the handbook taught me, such as merging my love of cinema with my learning of a new language, and watching a Thai film, or watching a comprehensive video tutorial for my Rubik's Cube practice.

It's mind map time!

Since then, I've been doing a bit from the mind map each day, making sure to not put too much pressure on it - if I've spent the day how I please, then that is a day well done. I recommend to do something similar, although only if you feel in the right mindset to, as I could see this process being overwhelming and feeling like another thing telling you to be more productive. But I've found it really helpful to just have everything I could do listed somewhere, so that any moment I find myself feeling lost, I can consult that and try working on something, and feel a little more engaged.

I hope you are safe and healthy, and that you have a good week. I might start posting twice weekly, or not, we'll see. Thank you for reading - I've had a relatively steady stream of visitors despite my absence, which does not go unnoticed. Stay tuned for more engagement!

even if it's still mildly easier to churn out covers than original shit i do feel like i suddenly got a huge boost in my ability to write original music and the snippets i'm getting sent to my brain now are on their own WAY better than shit used to be like if you heard some of the one-line original WIPs i plugged into synthV back in like even just June they are nigh-unlistenable but Now they are on average Extremely Good and i will place the majority of the blame for that squarely on the fact that over the summer i was in a car with my dad listening to His taste in music more often than listening to my Own taste and thus my music taste ratio went from "primarily gabber/breakcore/hardcore" to "primarily disco/R&B/soul" so now the like music production algorithm in my brain is trained on chaka khan and mariah carey and beyonce. which considering freely tomorrow is like my favorite mitchie M song yeah i don't mind that being the type of music i produce holy shit it is so fun and WAY easier to make listenable with just vocals. though the downside is it's making me less happy with the CMY2K OP i was working on which is a shame because that's like, the first Full SOng i have ever been able to write:( O well i just need to quickly churn out a whole R&B OP in the next week before we have to start pitching final films LOL

please gush about your passions and pastimes!!! I would love to hear about them

ack- im happy you want to hear about them!

Passions:

obvs as y'all know recently and just in gen., i guess, writing- i love crafting worlds and stories where anything can happen and just creating scenes above all else, like getting lost in the details of everything. I love getting lost in my own world and making myself happy as most self-indulgent writers do (and showing off my legitimate skill in a proper form of writing after doing shitpost-y things for so long is pretty rejuvenating, XD). And upon going back to some of my older, posted works and wips, I still laugh at the dumb shit I thought was the best stuff ever and now find myself giving those ideas a refresher like my last writing update, because it's still a legitimately enjoyable read.

i love sketching for similar reasons, but more so to visualize a fuzzy, almost-there idea, usually about fashion. Like recently I re-drafted some outfits for a fic idea I had, in order to make the world and designs make sense in my head. And I redesigned an existing outfit, running with certain themes and embellishments in design. I'm so happy I can churn out simple sketches like that when i really put my mind to it and feel content with the finished product nowadays. I feel accomplished as a hobby artist now and it's all thanks to heavy online research, a few how-to books, and putting effort into one art class. It's the second hobby of mine that I want to be good at, almost as much as my writing. Speaking of, I sometimes draw what I write or dream about because it's that prominent in my head.

Wow i love music guys- ha, but you already knew that *lenny face*

Past times:

I really like playing the simpler games in life- not as much in the vein of it being less difficult or busy, but more so with fewer controls, interesting mechanics, and a captivating style that I can easily fuck around in or beat some levels for a few hours. Bring on the (spider) solitare (only 4 suit sucks ass why do i do this to myself), jewel quest (FUCK YOU CROWS), barbie's fashion show (SINGLE DREAM-), zoo tycoon (fuck guest happiness), and sonic adventure or x-men of course.

MMD vids are v neat, like I know a handful of choreos that are fun as past midnight exercises to get my blood pumping and i get to discover new songs and learn more about other languages at the same time! Also the aph as mmd crack vids are the best whether its them making 'i hate this' or 'yeah im hot shit' faces or being completely into it as they're forced to dance or simply copying a vine. Like, they give me brainrot and serotonin at the same time its so fun. I love seeing all the different outfits for mmd vids in general, too, on top of new covers i never would've known about.

I really love analyzing things in general, actually. It's how I learn most of the things I do and know now, even though it technically causes me to lose large chunks of time because all i'm doing is staring at the damn thing, XD. Sometimes (all the time) I'll look at a gif or vid of a character changing their facial expression as they do/say something and I'll be completely enthralled by it. Something similar happens when I stare at REALLY GOOD artwork. I think it's the technical part of my brain trying to figure out the individual elements which make up whatever that thing is, like what facial muscles are being used to convey that emotion or mix of them, what the character is feeling, how the lighting or shading of the environment or extra details in editing affects said expression, etc. And for art, I'm thinking of the lines, posture, composition, object placement, color palette, negative space, tone, and all that jazz you learn from studying art.

Scrapbooking is a fun pastime for me that's extended from celebratory cards to actual gifts to my personal sketchbooks. It's part of the "creating something out of nothing/seeing what you can create with some basic templates and decorations" kind of mindset. And it makes me happy because I get to be creative and my family members and friends (even my employer) love them as part of their gifts every time and come to expect it from me each holiday, so I'm constantly encouraged to do it in the best way. I've recently kinda gone overboard on using ribbons and charms for the spiral and stickers and washi tape for the actual book itself on my sketchbooks, but I find myself wanting to draw in it more because I did that, lol.

I love rewatching the things I love. I usually have the same commentary about it, but its nonetheless enjoyable. And I never know what new thing I'll discover about it next, even if i've seen it over 50 times and only have it on as background noise and don't actually watch it. And yes, I will easily let something play on repeat at least that many times in my lifespan as well (like, a full day of it, at least).

wow i love staring at characters im attracted to for hours on end can i get a HUYEA-

helloo bee ,, i just saw u have 52 fics on ao3 :00 that's incredible !! i also write fic but i'm so slow... can i ask if u have any tips to writing faster or more ?? like, u come out w a lot of fic so fast (at least it feels that way to me lol) but the quality is always ?? super great ??? how u do that fam

do i?? lordy how did that happen lmao

i guess for me it’s all about time, enthusiasm, and how i’m feeling generally? so like, i wrote a LOT in 2016/2017 because i was studying and working part time and i was REALLY into writing tfc fic at the time, so it was a combination of mega-inspiration and having time and getting into the swing of writing all the time? like, the more i write, the easier it gets because it’s more habitual, if that makes sense. now i’m writing a bit less because my priorities have shifted but i’m not really worried about it, you know

so i guess my answer to your query is that the more you write, the more you write?? making time for writing and getting into the swing of your projects really helps with production levels. i also am not....super into editing, which admittedly speeds things up a whole lot for me. i guess i’m lucky (and well practiced) in that my fic is still, u know, readable even without editing, but not obsessing over projects definitely helps me move on faster. same reason why i always tell people not to edit as they write!! i do use betas for big projects but otherwise i just figure that this is my hobby, so people can deal with mistakes lmao

but i think, most importantly, as fic writers we need to remember this is our hobby, and not to put pressure on ourselves to churn out fic? your worth isn’t in your word count, and you should be writing to have fun, not worrying that you’re not producing enough or writing fast enough. there’s nothing wrong with working at your own pace!!

Bring Me the Horizon - amo

For better and for worse, this one has been a long time coming. If Sempiternal was the irritated throat fans brushed off as nothing, then That's the Spirit was their first terrifying handful of blood coughed up after ignoring diagnostics, and amo is the progression of the untreated pop infection in Bring Me the Horizon's lungs that has progressed beyond treatment. For fans uneasy about the band's trajectory in 2015, this album is no easy pill to swallow.

I've been rather critical of a lot of bands aping Bring Me the Horizon's more try-hard anthemic metalcore style since the success of 2013's Sempiternal, but for Bring Me the Horizon themselves, I've actually had at least a little bit of appreciation for the boldness and ambition with which they have seemed to try to push their brand of metalcore since their 2010 album There Is a Hell, Believe Me I've Seen It. There Is a Heaven, Let's Keep It a Secret. But with that appreciation of what they are trying to do to bolster their sound has also come with a lot of frustration when it comes to the execution, whether it be the repetitive formula on Sempiternal yielding some seriously irritating tunes whose energy only magnified their obnoxiousness, or the horrendous watering down that neutered any idea of ambition on That's the Spirit.

It has been about four years since the band's aggravating previous album, and for myself, the metal community outside the band's fanbase, and even within, those four years have been spent nervously gritting teeth in anticipation of what the band would progress toward next. And now it's here. Given the sour turn the band took with That's the Spirit, my hopes for amo were not high at all. In fact after a series of lackluster maimstream-ish releases so far this year, I was ready for the cherry to top the shit sundae with this album. That being said, amo is definitely bolder and a much more thoughtful continuation of Bring Me the Horizon's quest for pop glory, and one that is at least more determined and more comprehensive than That's the Spirit. The band finally commit to the sound they clearly wanted to make their way to, and in some ways it's good that they're not trying to cover their bases as thinly as possible like they were with their previous album. Indeed, there are a few tracks on here I enjoy quite a lot.

The band fully commit to the sounds and writing styles of Top 40 pop these days, and this album would definitely blend right in with the likes of Ed Sheeran and Shawn Mendes. I feel like I have to address my distaste for Top 40 music in general and clarify that it's not based in a simplistic, tribalistic feud I see lots of metalheads take part in, where it's the principle of pop vs. rock or mainstream music vs. outsider music that's being fought over. No, I definitely enjoy me some thoughtfully done pop music and even some indulgently tasty pop as well. What I don't like is the sterility of the music from the likes of Halsey, Macklemore, Camila Cabello, or whoever made that shit song "The Middle" selected to be the goal for pop artists to strive for to reach radio/playlist success. And then there's the despised Imagine Dragons, the only pop rock band in existence apparently, based on how much time they suck up on the radio. I know this is a sidetrack and I know that radio is not the prime outlet it used to be, but it still represents a lot of what pop trends towards these days, and it continues to set a precedent for vapid, lazy songwriting, and corporately calculated pandering. That being said, there's the occasional song I'm surprised, not so much by my enjoyment of, but of the presence of something enjoyable coming from a mainstream pop outlet, and that's what amo seems to be going for.

I gave this album quite a few listens, both to really get to know it as per usual, and because this kind of pop isn't my usual forte, and it was interesting to see how the album transformed in my eyes with each successive listen. My first time hearing it, I knew I was going into a straight-up pop album, and with the ilk of Top 40 stations as my barometer, I was actually pretty relieved and pleasantly surprised to not be slamming my head against the nearest wall for the 51 minutes it lasts. But then I remembered, "wait a minute, this is a pop album, it loves to ride a good first impression, see how it is after 4, 5, 6 listens." And sure enough, it waned on me the more I listened.

The parts that I really enjoy did rise to the top as the rest sank, but with a better understanding of this album's content and what it's trying to achieve, I end up with a lot of the same frustrations I had with the band on Sempiternal and its predecessor, just in a less heavy format/context this time. Like the band's first metalcore-departing albums, amo has some good stylistic ideas and it works well with them, but the band's inconsistent results with the repetitive formulas they emply continues to be the limiting factor for them. On the vocal front, Oli Sykes clearly channels Minutes to Midnight-era Chester Bennington all over the project, from the raspy borderline shouted melodies and overwhelmingly polished cleans, while also making a very pop-influenced use of his falsettos as well, and as much as it often teems over with blatant imitation, at least I can't complain about his execution; he's on point pretty much the entire time, which could be thanks to some production crutches, but Sykes' performances sound watertight nonetheless. The rest of the band are much more present than I thought they would be, not as drowned out in gaudy pop production (which does still become a bit too much at some points, but for the most part it's pretty tasteful and balanced throughout the album).

Songs like "nihilist blues" do well to set futuristically melancholic moods through modern electro pop instrumentals, while on songs like "MANTRA" and "sugar honey ice & tea" (a cheesy roundabout way to title the song "shit"), the band try to keep the guitar-driven energy high while blending more pop-oriented elements and performance/production techniques, and the blend is at least a refreshingly alive spin on the egg-shell-treading stlyes of this era of pop music. But the band still don't really manage to make what sounds good on paper actually sound as good as it should through speakers, churning out some annoying melodies through the overly repetitive structures that take bad pop songs from displeasing to disgusting. And these songs have some potential and some parts of them that I wish weren't wrecked by overproduction or cheesy choruses, "sugar honey ice & tea" especially has some invigorating building rock instrumentation in its verses, but the band don't really follow through on the hollow, high-pitched electro vocal-laden chorus. But then there are the songs that (I think) don't really have any redeeming qualities.

The songs where Bring Me the Horizon really just lean all the way into this new role as a prospective pop act are the ones where they of course fall into the styles' predictable pitfalls. Straightforward pop numbers like "mother tongue" and "medicine" channel kiddish lyrics about love and embodying vindictiveness respectively through bland, unimaginative instrumentation. Another track, "in the dark", runs in kind of the same vein of unadultered pop with Oli Sykes doing his best Shawn Mendes impersonation, but is at least a little bit more soulful and less robotic.

Back in the gray area is the song "heavy metal", which takes aim at the attitudes of discontented fans being mad at the band for continuing to shift styles. I understand that there are definitely a lot of stubborn people willing to let that be sufficient justification for their reasons for lampooning the band's change in style, but there are plenty of reasons to be apprehensive about this new direction that lots of other people are articulating that the band could have addressed instead of minimizing the criticism surrounding them to the reductive basement-dweller strawman. Instrumentally though, it is one of the heavier songs on the album, ending with the album's only screamed breakdown, as short as it is.

As far as highlights go, the song "why you gotta kick me when i'm down?" is a convincing electronic banger that finds low-register synths mimicking the crunch of the guitar the band usually uses, and doing so well. Lyrically it oozes of the same kind of inability to accept criticism as "heavy metal", but at least this song's fierce potency makes a good case for the band's being above the type of simplistic criticism they lament. The song "wonderful life" is by far the best song on the album with its gritty electro-nu metal guitar groove and its anthemic vocal melody in the chorus raising a defeatist toast to growing old and burning out. The pop influences are still easily palpable, but taking a support role rather than the lead, with the band driving the song with the down-tuned metal riffage they do well that made Suicide Season and the best parts of Sempiternal.

For what could have been the definitive nail in the coffin for a lot of people like me who hated That's the Spirit, amo is definitely a mixed bag in classic Bring Me the Horizon fashion, but that sure is a lot better than the torturous train wreck I was expecting (especially after hearing "mother tongue" and "medicine" as preliminary singles), and it at least shows that this band does indeed have the potential to do well in this metal-flavored pop niche they're trying to carve out, and by all means I would love for them to do well with it. I think it is important for metal to continue to make good entry-level material for the new generations, and entry-level material that immersed fans can bond with new fans over as well and for younger generations to be able to look back at fondly after diving deep into the wonderful world of metal music. I definitely don't think amo is quite that album, but it is a gateway, and it does suggest that somewhere in Bring Me the Horizon's collective creative potential exists that album, which only tenacity and further perfection of this style they've arrived at can uncover.

better than Halsey/10

you should delete your xmen muses. who the fuck wants to write with them anyway? you don't know shit about them.

((Okay, so this is the last of these anon messages I'm going to reply to, then I'm just gonna... shut anon off for now because I'm really sorry that you don't have a life and I think you should probably go do something more productive with your time than harass people. But this one really got to me. Like, really, really got to me. So congrats, dipshit. Ya did it. You upset me. Now you can sit the fuck back and smile to yourself and feel like you've accomplished something while you ignore the rest of what this says!

So here it is- Trust me, anon, I've thought about it. Hell, I've come close to actually doing it. Absolutely NO ONE would be surprised to hear that my X-Muses are easily my favorite muses. I didn't mean for it to be that way, but that's how it is. They're the ones I have the most muse for at all fucking times. They're the ones I feel most connected to because I've been taking in X-Men media basically as long as I've been alive. And, yeah, I've even considered moving them to their own blog to make things easier on myself on days when they're the only ones I want to write. I've been reading more X-Men comics and piecing together backstories for them that I like (especially Rogue bc she's the actual love of my life and I've written as her off and on for so long she feels like a part of myself in some ways lol). I've put a lot of heart and soul and time into them, and it sucks to know that doesn't come through, I guess. But, yeah, sure. I've thought about deleting them. Why? Because maybe life would be a little easier if I just stuck to the muses most people want to write with and got rid of the ones who aren't as popular or as in demand or whatever. It'd be easiest to just... stick to MCU muses and maybe let Logan slide through (because people actually like to write with him). It'd be easiest to delete all my muses who aren't, like, Tony and Peter and Steve and Thor and maybe, just maybe, keep Yelena around for the sake of my own sanity. Hell, if I cared only about the number of interactions I got, I'd add Bucky and maybe Strange (even though I know I couldn't write them well) and just, like, toss 'em out there and wait for people to latch on to 'em. I know who people want to write with. I know who'd be easiest to get interactions for. I know I don't always offer the most popular muses. Hell, I know that the ones I DO have who are more popular (like Tony and Peter) are ones that I sometimes struggle with because I feel this overwhelming need to conform to what other people want them to be and it's fucking ROUGH when you're trying to write muses a certain way to please people. And, again, I could (maybe even should) delete all the other muses who get less interactions or the ones that people care less about it. Maybe it'd make life easier if I just said "fuck it" and nerfed all my X-Men muses like you think I should and didn't add the ones that I've been meaning to because, like you said, who the fuck wants to write with any of them anyway, right? Like, nobody's out here asking me to add Jubilee or Alex Summers or Hank McCoy or who the fuck ever else. Absolutely fucking no one. So maybe I just shouldn't? Maybe I should take away the little bit of joy I find in writing my X-Men muses and chuck it right out the fucking window and just stick to what's easiest to get interactions for and just churn out replies based on who people want, not who I want to write. Maybe that's what the fuck I should do. And then I could stop posting stupid headcanons all the time. Or stop reblogging gif sets that make me think of my muses and their friendships and their relationship. And I could stop daydreaming up scenarios for them that I'd love to write but would never post about anyway because who the fuck wants to write that shit? Maybe it'd be a good thing to just get rid of them! I don't know! Maybe it'd be the abso-fucking-lute best decision I've made in a long time! Hell, maybe I WILL delete them eventually! I don't fucking know!!! Why not, right?! But for right now, they bring me some joy, even if some days they have absolutely no fucking interactions and the joy they bring me is only in just finding brotp posts and being like "That's Rogue and Bobby" or "Kitty would say that to Jubilee" or "Scott and Logan would fight about that". Like... there is SO much potential for all of them. So much potential that I haven't even had a chance to touch on yet, much less properly explore! There's so fucking much I want to write! And maybe I fucking suck at it! And maybe nobody will want to write these scenarios with me because maybe I'm the worst

goddamned fucking writer on the face of this planet! And maybe that's okay? I don't have to be good at anything! I can just exist and write what I want! And if I wanna write about X-Men muses, whether I know their backstories inside out or fucking not, then goddamn it, that's what I'm gonna do for now. And maybe I'll delete them in the future. Maybe that'll be tomorrow or maybe it'll be ten fucking years from now. Who knows! I'm under no fucking obligation to write them! Hell, maybe I'll delete all of my muses who AREN'T X-Men muses?! I could do that just as easily! I could delete this whole fucking blog and start over! It really doesn't fucking matter! But I don't want to do that right now, so I'm not going to. And your bullshit's not gonna change that.

So, yeah. Maybe I'll delete 'em sometime. But for now? I'm gonna keep my X-Muses, thanks. Whether they have a hundred interactions or fucking none or whether people want to write with them or not. I don't give a shit. I love them and they're my comfort muses (especially Rogue and Bobby) whether you or anyone else likes it or not.))

Hi! I was hoping to get some advice from one writer to another. I recently only started writing again and was hoping to start taking requests soon. But how did you know when you were ready to take requests? Sometimes I feel like I'm not ready because of people's expectations. Please help. Thanks

(Secretly flattered that somebody is asking me for writing advice, but I’m going to play it cool and act like it’s not a big deal even though it totally is, haha). 

Well, I think it’s honestly different for every writer. Some writers need requests to make them feel inspired and other writers are much better off writing things from their own imagination and struggle with requests.First, you should identify which you are. If you’re afraid of disappointing people then I think you shouldn’t start by taking requests right off the bat. I personally didn’t open for requests until months after I started this blog and I only did so when I wanted to shift from writing huge >10k words fics (Look at my earlier work. Literally nothing is less that at least 7 thousand words) to learning how to write smaller pieces. Literally, whenever I tried to write a drabble it would cross 1000 words before I even set the scene, lmfao. I figured if I had people sending me requests then I would want to write faster and hence learn to keep things concise. (Unlike this post. Whoops. Still learning!)

I think the important thing is to dabble around a bit and see what you’re comfortable writing. Try a couple of angst pieces, write some fluff, even write crack!fics if you want and see how it works. If you’re unable to find inspiration then try looking up prompts online and then use those. But take it easy on actual requests in the beginning. It’s possible that taking requests when you’ve just gotten back into writing can be counter-productive; because you might just hit a very difficult request in the start that will throw you off and then you won’t feel like writing anymore because you feel guilty about disappointing the requester. Sometimes a request will inspire you and you’ll end up writing something you’re really proud of, but you never know. It’s mostly a gamble. 

Honestly, the whole request thing is kind of a pain in my opinion, because writing is an art, you’re not a machine who can just churn out nice pieces of work and a lot of readers tend to forget that. You need time, you need inspiration, you need to like what you are writing, more important than anything else. That doesn’t always work with requests. Because I am not the only writer who sometimes looks at a request and thinks this? This isn’t my style. I don’t like this. And when you force yourself to write a request that gives you that first impression, it doesn’t come out too well at least 70% of the time. Maybe some writers are good enough that they can write anything, personal feelings set aside, but most of us aren’t like that. 

So here’s what I think. If you’re just getting back into writing, write what you want to write. Write an idea that excites you so much, you just can’t wait to get your hands on a computer or paper to write it. And once you’re feeling good and confident about your writing then go ahead and tell people to request, within whatever guidelines you set for yourself. Try not to feel bad about turning down requests that don’t inspire you or that you’re not confident about. Like I said, you’re not a machine that can churn out top-quality writing every time. 

I’m going to say this; I don’t know whether it’s because I read so much fanfiction but I can tell at least halfway through a fic whether it was a really inspired one or whether  the writer forced themselves to write it. Because it reflects in the writing no matter how much you try to hide it. There’s just something different about a fic that you  wrote because you couldn’t stop thinking about the idea, and one that you wrote because somebody asked you to and you had to stick to their plotlines. I would say at least in the beginning, don’t take very specific requests or let people lay out an entire plotline for you. Do something more general, like songfics or those drabbles where you insert a particular line of dialogue, because they give you more wriggle space if you don’t like where your writing is headed. 

And also, remember that the person setting the highest expectations for you is yourself. Nobody’s going to be as disappointed in your writing as YOU, so try to meet YOUR expectations before anyone else’s! There will always be people who like and don’t like your writing. You can’t possibly impress everyone. It’s literally not possible. If you’re impressing everyone then there’s something wrong there and people might just be lying to you, lmao.  

And remember. At the end of the day, this is all for fun! It might be nice to get praise and have people tell you that they love your writing, but that’s just a bonus. Your enjoyment is more important than anything else, so write however and whatever makes you happy! If you like taking requests then just go for it, nobody should be stopping you! Least of all another writer who just fumbles around with a shady blog, haha. 

Hope something in this was helpful!