#mai's not here cos she didnt lose
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matching icons for u and the idiot who proves that hell really is other people
#most tragic picture day in yugioh history#seto kaiba#joey wheeler#katsuya jounouchi#yugioh#fanart#dont take it to heart kaiba. jou died like 7 times so he had time to practice#extra thoughts i think yugi accidentally befriends valon in purgatory since pre-canon jou & valon operate under similar grindsets#mai's not here cos she didnt lose#and LOL i wanna say#puppyshipping#but. i have actual kaijou stuff saved for LATER......
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I have written something new.
I want to talk to you by NiahmDaFoe - Lockwood & Co. - Jonathan Stroud https://archiveofourown.org/works/51631282
You can also read it here:
Summary:
A fanfic in which Lockwood and Lucy call each other.
This is set during black winter. Between The Hollow Boy and The creeping Shadow.
This Fanfiction was inspired by Twitter and got me into a writing rage today thanks to Lavenderghostco posting a picture from the very talented Artist aenniyam from Instagram in which a rain drenched person dramatically leans over the telephone in a telephone booth.
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*bip* *bip* *bip* *bip*
Lockwood listens to the busy signal of the telephone-handle pressed to his ear, clasping it tightly, water droplets running down his hands, falling from his hair leaving streaks on his face. He is soaked from the heavy downpour, which paints the early dawn in light greys and dark blues. How did he even end up in this Telephone booth?
He had run from the argument he just had. George had had enough. His reckless behaviour put them all at risk. And Lockwood couldn't face that he was indeed, losing it.
He had lost everything. He had lost her. Lockwood was so angry, angry with himself and his emotions of weakness. He couldn't stand George telling him off. He knew full well that he felt incompetent and lost deep down and didnt need his best friend pull it out into the open.
Lockwood had been reckless, although he knew that George and Holly were his responsibility. He knew he had to be a better leader, to be more cautious for them, but at the same time he had lost all will to do that. What does it mean if he can't even get Lucy to stay. Or to come back. He'd shown her that the agency was strong enough, so why didn't she come back? She could at least call.
So, why did he run here? What was he about to do in this telephone booth? Whom was he going to call? Lucy? Ridiculous!
He hung up the receiver.
*clack*
Maybe he just unconciously went inside to find shelter from the rain? Lockwood dropped his arms, took a deep breath, and tried to listen to the sounds around him. Around this little cubicle of space.
Night caps and the first few cars of the day were passing by on wet asphalt.
*drip*
Rain pondered against the telephone booth, corners of the now colourless notes glued to the booth by old scotch tape were flapping in the wind.
*drip*
Slow drops fell from his shirt to the floor.
With a deep breath through his teeth, he decided: he would call her; he'd show them that he's okay.
Maybe he'd tell her that she was stupid for leaving. That he'd be ready for negotiations to take her back into the agency. Tell her, that most debts were paid by now and that he could employ another agent to have more time to train with her to control her talent.
He realized that even in his thoughts he was rambling. He hated this. He'd show her. He'd show himself that he was over this!
He gripped the receiver once again, rummaging in his pockets for a coin and called the directory enquires.
He didn't - couldn't wait for the operator to speak:
"Lucy Carlyle, psychic investigations, London please" he heard himself say.
"Certainly sir. Do you just want the number or shall I connect you?" The voice of the operator was nice, soothing even.
"Connect please." he cleared his throat
"I'll connect you now. Have a good day sir!" the operator chimed. He heard a clack in the line and then the dial tone rang heavy in his ear.
*beep*
He took a deep breath.
*beep*
He didn't dare breathe out.
*beep*
Was she out on a case? What took her so long to answer?
*beep*
After a surge of impatience he felt all hope deflate. Maybe she was on a case after all. It was stupid, really, to think that she would be home at this time of day.
*beep* *click*
"Lucy, Lucy Carlyle - psychic investigations. How may I help you?" her voice sounded hurried and tired at the same time.
"...ah..." There were no sounds he could make. All his elaborate anger and prepared words were gone. She was there. She was alive!
"Hello? Can you hear me?" Lucy asked.
"..." he held his free hand to his face to stifle the sob trying to escape his lips.
"Are you okay? Do you need help?" she inquired.
...
*drip*
...
He felt his face go hot with tears.
"Are you still there? Do you need assistance? Shall I send someone?" Her voice now laden with a hint of anxiousness.
..
Lockwood couldn't breathe.
"I'm sorry." it was barely a whisper that escaped him. He took the receiver from his ear and it felt like it got heavier with each moment he held it, while Lucy, Lucy was still there. She was there.
Just mere moments from hanging up he heard her :
"Lockwood?! Is that you?" She sounded concerned.
With a heavy “Thud”, he hung up.
*drip*
He curled himself over the telephone and allowed him a moment to gather himself.
*drip*
Tears mixed with rain as it fell in little droplets onto the telephone.
Why was it so hard to breathe? Why did this feel like his chest had been ripped open?
*drip*
Lockwood stood, wiped with his hands over his face and sighed.
He put on a smile like an armour and made his way back to 35 Portland Row.
********
As he got into the house at Portland Row, he was greeted by Holly.
"Lockwood, are you waiting for a call? We have had a caller all morning which only hangs up on me or George. So I figured it was .."
*riiiiing* *riiiiiiing"
George stomped out of the kitchen cursing "Oh for god’s sake, who is this?!"
"I'll get it." Lockwood said with a strange composure and he felt a small smile creep onto his face.
*riiiing*
"Lockwood and co, Psychic investigations. Anthony Lockwood speaking, how may I help you?" He tried to beam his Lucy Smile into his voice and hoped that it would come across.
"..."
Lockwood paused, contemplating what to say. George and Holly were still with him in the hall looking at him questioningly.
The other end stayed silent
"I'm here." he said. And with that the caller hung up.
Lockwood gathered himself, put down the telephone, put on a smile and turned to George and Holly. "Maybe wrong number?"
He shrugged overtly and began hopping up the stairs. "I'll be with you in a bit. Let's properly debrief then." He tried to sound as confident and careless as possible while stealing away to his room.
With the comforting sound of his heavy door closing behind him, he tried to sort his feelings. He knew the caller had been Lucy. She was concerned about him.
He felt a pleasant warmth rising in his chest while simultaneously feeling guilty to have made her worried about him.
They both knew that they were alive. That had to be enough - for now.
#lockwood and co#lockwood & co#save lockwood & co#save lockwood and co#locklyle#anthony lockwood#locklyle brainrot is real#lucy carlyle#savelockwoodandco#lockwood and co fanfiction#fanfiction#fanfic#black winter
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They came for me with aid cos they saw i was in the streets... They gave me a plate of food gave me something to eat... They sat and ate with me said they wanted to speak... They wanted to know how i was poor and what happen to me... They wanted to hear a story of a poor man.... I sat and wondered am i a poor man... They must be mistaken.... mistaked me for a man on the hills with a mansion-house who bought the world but has an empty soul.... So i asked "what makes you think im a poor man why do you not think of me as a richman"..... They said "simply cause your here sitting on the streets and the fact we came over and gave you something to eat by the looks of things seem like you aint showered in weeks, by our eyes in society your of the ones that are weak".... I took a moment.... May i speak..... " you see me as that of the weak i wonder could you walk a week in my feet without it being a televised challenge.... i can sit and tell you what happened... i was a man in the hills living in a mansion-house soul searching... was out looking to buy the world and the world i bought.... i had some nice things many things and this would make me happy i thought.... if i had many things and i had many things the world would love me i thought.... but they loved me for many things cos i had everything in this world that i bought... yes it brought many things but not the happiness i thought.... then i started losing things like the many things i bought... the love disappeared guess it went with everything i bought... you see me as not a rich man cos you found me in the streets gave me something to eat... but i can tell you i aint a poor man just because i dont live on the hills in a mansion-house... after i lost everything the things that i bought she came and gave me many things, things money never brought... she gave me a home when i sold the mansion-house she gave me peace she gave me love and 3 kids... she gave me hope which turned into faith... she gave me a place i looked forward to see she gave me a feeling of us just being... she gave me laughter a smile i didnt have to fake she gave me joy a joy i could never replace... i started doing some soul searching in that mansion-house on hills cos my soul was empty.... i decided to give maybe today ill give some charity maybe if i do some charity my life will have some clarity.... i met her on the month of may.... i found her sitting on the streets she looked like she hasnt showered for weeks you know by my soicety eyes she was those of the weak... so i gave her a tuna sandwich something to eat then i sat beside her asked if we could speak... i was a poorman living on the hills in a mansion-house she made me a richman mentally emotionally and spirituality gave me happiness i never bought... through ups and downs i could always count on her support.... she died in my arms her and our 3 kids in that nice car that i bought it was last year the month of may who would ever of thought.... so i sit in the streets every month of may i dont shower for weeks waiting for someone to give me something to eat so i can give them aid give them charity a form of clarity give them every priceless thing she gave to me... A love that is free....
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Hi Tumblr!
How are you?
Sorry for the late visit. I know you know I've only ever come here to vent my frustrations in life. Well, here's a short update, i got married last year and after being married for 4 months, i decided to quit my job. It may have been quite an impulsive decision, a spur of the moment kind of thing, but know that resigning was already knocking on my head's door since 2019.
You asked if I disliked my job? No, not entirely. In fact, I've come to love it. Auditing was very challenging but it was interesting and i liked learning about my cases. I didn't like public speaking but I've come to love how we conduct seminars to educate our taxpayers (tho it always made me nervous). I liked my co workers too.
Despite this, there were cons too. I didn't liked how it felt like I only got a little time to work on my cases and it made me stressed because i always wanted to do a good job. I wanted to do more, but i wasn't able to and it was very frustrating. Over time the feeling of frustration turned to discouragement and my once burning passion died down.
Also, you've already known for a long time that I was quite the introvert type right? Well, that's also the part which brought so much stress for me at work. I had to deal with different kinds of people everyday. At first I challenged myself to face them, to face it -- my shy, aloof, no self-confidence self. I told myself i had to do it cause its part of my work and dealing with people is a must in all walks of life. I tried, i struggled hard. I think it paid off cause somehow i know i made improvements and that made me happy. But there came a time where work was so overwhelming and people were also very overwhelming that i cried myself to sleep everynight. Everyday felt like a battle I had to win and work felt like I was always standing at the tip of the cliff, and it felt like so many things were trying to push me down that cliff and I felt scared, everyday i felt scared. I was stressed, i was scared, i was anxious, it felt like i was drowning.
Everyday i fought. Sometimes I won, most of the times i lost and everytime i lose, i drowned in my thoughts and everynight it pulled me deeper.
I became disorganized and out of focus, my head was always full of things that i wanted to do but my body and mind cant keep up. I cant finish a single task because while doing one thing im thinking of another and everyday became full of distractions. My husband tried to pull me up several times but my mind was in a total mess and i always find myself drowning again. I also tried to help myself but i couldn't. I couldn't even take care of myself, i couldn't take care of the house, i couldn't take care of anything.
Then, there came a time when i felt like i was at my weakest, i had problems at home, i had problems at work, i had problems with myself. It was a time where i wished people would be a little bit kinder, but they weren't. I told myself i had enough and decided to pass my resignation letter thinking i could still find a job somewhere.
Now, I am currently a freeloader. I liked doing nothing. I liked feeling stress free. I am slowly getting back up to the surface again. But now i have new problems to face, it seems like i dont like the feeling of being useless, the feeling of depending on someone. I am scared that if I continue to be like this i would lose myself and i didnt want to feel that if i lose the person im depending now, i would become nothing, i would become empty. And now its eating my self esteem and self confidence again. I feel like life stopped beating. I tried finding jobs online, but everytime i read the job description, i doubt myself. Can i do it? Am i capable? What if I dont qualify? What if i cant do it?
I have been overthinking a lot of things and i can't help it and thats why im here typing this long long post at 1 am. Coz my insomnia is visiting me and she's here for weeks now.
I A M L O S T!
Someone save me, coz i think im starting to drown myself again.
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Ohhhh no worries i figured something was goin on. Same xinyan needs more content she deserves a hangout. I love noelle's and sayu's hangouts most but they're so fun. Oh damn she's so pretty. She may be on my list too. A bianka expy? I am archon collecting so i want focalors. Ayato has a fun playstyle. Desert environments are cool i enjoy them & this new bit is so good. Oh! Somehow that just reminded me i made some friends from poland years ago in one of the national parks here. Ive gotten so many interests from here its wild. Shes alao very fun & i too get no good artifacts for her. Oh disco elysium is good very fun game
augh thankies, im generally having a bit of a busy time lately but im gonna try to answer quicker. LITERALLY shes so forgotten by mhy and for what. they wasted a perfectly good character. i havent played sayus yet but i just got all endings in both of noelle's and yes i agree. RIGHGHGHT SHE IS VERY PRETTY!!! and the expy stuff, as i mentioned, is mostly just speculation, but im excited nonetheless. not an archon collector myself but the moment i heard focalors might be annoying and pretentious i decided Oh im gonna defend her online. im ready for another problematic fave. yeah!!! i was taking my break when he came out but got to play with a trial some time ago and honestly he might have one of my fav playstyles in the game. yeahhh so true tho i do end up losing my way a lot, but thats part of the charm i think. AND OH NICE!!!! we have some very nice national parks over here, tho i havent been to many, but im planning to. very real sometimes i see a mutual post ab sth i have Never heard of b4 and i just get intrigued and then it becomes my only personality trait for the next 7-14 months. yeahhhh artifacts hate me personally i think. disco elysium is SO good im literally obsessed i can feel it swallowing me. currently on my second playthrough cos i didnt do almost any side quests on the first one but i wanna check em out.
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Hello!! I'd be honoured to have you write a one-shot based on a request of mine! May I have a Kokomi x G/N Reader one-shot, where the former sees the latter get injured and takes care of them? Angst with a side of hurt comfort??
BTW, I absolutely adore your work and would love to co-write something with you as well, if you'd be up for it!! :D
hello hello ! thank you so much for your kind words, they really mean so much. and as per your request, here is your oneshot. i hope you enjoy 💫
(also also, ive never co-written something with another writer before but it sounds fun✨)
~
The Ache of War - Kokomi x General Gender Neutral Reader - Angst / Hurt Comfort
casualties.
as much as Kokomi thrived in the planning and execution of a precise attack on the battlefield, the casualites that would come from her and the oppositions elaborate attacks, or who they would be, was something she could never plan ahead for. her heart stung every time her soldiers returned to their home in Watatsumi Island bleeding and bruised, their numbers depleted, faces sunken with fatigue and lost hope. she couldn't bear it and as much as she was there to heal and tend to the wounded while leading them time and time again, Kokomi knew sitting around in the shrine while others were laying down their lives wasn't fair. the fight was all of yours, and so, for the first time, and after eventually convincing you to agree, Kokomi prepared herself to join her army on the front lines.
this time, she would be fighting right at your side. just the thought sent a flutter of anticipation through her veins, but finally standing on the soaked sand of the ruins at Fort Mumei, a wild thunderstorm lashing about the charcoal clouds high above her head as sheets of sharp rain fell all about her, Kokomi realised just how truly horrifying facing war would be.
for you, as general of Watatsumi's first platoon of soldiers, this was nothing out of the ordinary but it didnt make it enjoyable. knowing that Kokomi was somewhere on the battlefield with you, susceptible to harm, to injury, to death even... you pushed the thought from your mind and plunged your blood-slicked sword into the side of a Kairagi samurai while rain as sharp as ice whipped down around you.
gritting your teeth, you turned and called back to your men, "Move forward! Now's our chance!" before launching yourself back into the heart of battle, eyes alive with the light of the storm roaring around you, but in the quiet in the back of your mind, you prayed to the Watatsumi Omikami to keep Kokomi safe.
the high priestess pushed herself to her limits and beyond to heal her soldiers as they fought, her eyes scanning all around her through the sheets of rain and falling bodies. the Watatsumi force pushed the Shogunate forces back even further from the shore of Fort Mumei, and if they could get all the way back to Fort Fujitou, they would keep the immediate threat to Watatsumi at bay.
though it was cold and desolate on the wet sand, the sky a dull grey blanket high above her head, Kokomi felt a blossom of hope rose in her heart, and in it sprang forth the drive to fight harder along side her people. with every breath, she kept calling out encouragement and pushing back the army of the Shogun at the same time with her hydro power. the edges of the ruins were in sight now, and all that was needed was one last strong push against the Shogun's army.
"Fight for the Watatsumi Omikami!" Kokomi called out to the men behind her who lifted their rain-kissed swords and polearms one last time at the sound of her voice.
throwing out her arm towards the nearing shore of Fort Mumei, Kokomi called to them, "Don't lose strength now! We've almost overcome them. Let's pull together and give one last push towards vi-" but her words were cut from her lips when a familiar voice rang in her ear, strained in a tight cry that sliced through her heart as swiftly as the rain fell.
the high priestess's eyes span across the battlefield and immediately found you, back arched as two arrows pierced your back and through your chest, blood spraying out dark and heavy against the crystaline rain. your knees quickly buckled and gave out beneath you, the sword that had pulled you and your men through so many battles gleaming with your own blood as it flew from your hand and clatted at your side the sand.
the world around Kokomi froze in an instant, the rain seemingly turning to ice as she watched you fall in slow motion, her heart unbeating, her lungs refusing to draw in a breath. your knees hit the grey sand hard, blood dripping from your shoulder where the arrows had pieced clean through. so close to your heart, so close from taking you away from her.
"N-no..." Kokomi rasped, her pale fingers trembling as they lifted to her lips, but when she blinked against the rain and an electro infused Kairagi step through it, charging towards your fallen form with a gleaming katana raised high above his head in preparation to strike, a burst of lightening hot adrenaline shot through the high priestess's veins.
at once, the might of Watatsumi itself overcame her, appearing in the immediate reveal of the aquatic ceremonial garments. some of the soldiers around her from both sides gasped in shock at the sight of Kokomi's heightened form as rain bubbled about her, some Watatsumi warriors catching a second wind just from glancing at the high priestess invigorated for battle, but Kokomi's attention was on you. only on you. only on saving you.
heart slamming against her chest, Kokomi raced across the sand towards the kairagi, towards you, raindrops bouncing off her shoulders until she slid to your side and raised her hand in defense, a wash of hydro power exploding from her palm and sending the warrior flying away. once he was down, Kokomi's tearfilled, aqua eyes fell to you.
"please... p-please... stay with me... s-stay..." she whimpered as healing waters washed out of her and over your fallen form. Kokomi took your face in her shaking hands and cradled you as much as she could while the raging war around her began to fade with the passing storm.
~
the shrine was silent when Kokomi and the soldiers returned from the front lines. yes, the forces of Watatsumi Island had been victorious, but your injury had shaken the priestess to her core. the priestess said nothing to the shrine maidens or guards as you were carried to your chamber in the shrine, Kokomi personally attending to your healing and care, shut away from everyone else as the weight of her fear kept her quiet.
after coming to, the first thing you felt was a pair of soft, delicate hands moving over your back and shoulder, and then came a sudden explosion hot searing hot pain that made you cry out and flinch away. it took a moment to catch your breath and relax enough to sit back again, but as you did, your eyes found Kokomi at your side, a damp cloth clenched in her hands, eyes as wide as the moon wouldve been had it not been shrouded by the passing, empty stormclouds outside your window.
"K... Kokomi..." you croaked, holding her terrified gaze until she broke eye contact, biting her lip against the rising tears in her eyes before moving to try and clean your wound again. this time, you bit down your cries of pain for her sake, shouldering as much of it as you could while she washed and bandaged your shoulder, but when it was done, the silence didnt lift.
the weight of sorrow in Kokomi's eyes when you'd cried out was burned into your mind. it sat in your chest as heavy as an anchor that only seemed to press down harder when the priestess stood to leave. before she could, you reached out with your good hand to take hers, and flinching a little at your touch, the priestess paused.
"Kokomi..." you whispered tightly, your left arm completely numb and throbbing with dull pain, but your heart was heavier. "Kokomi, please... this isn't your fault."
the priestess bowed her head, her eyes sliding to your hand around her own, but she said nothing.
heart beating heavy in your chest, you continued, "this wasn't your fault. things like this... in war, they happen alot. you can't prevent them no matter how hard you try."
"but i promised that i would keep you safe. and i couldnt." Kokomi finally croaked, eyes flooding with tears so suddenly she couldnt bat them away before they fell. "I-I... I should've..."
your chest tightened as you watched her words drown out under a bubbling whimper, and with the little strength you had, you quickly pulled her back to the bed and wrapped your good arm around her, holding her as close and as tightly to yourself as you could manage.
"you saved my life, Kokomi." you muttered into her ear, your thumb rubbing between her shoulders blades slowly.
"b-but..."
"war is messy and ugly." you continued, voice full of warmth despite the razor sharp pain stabbing down your left arm and chest. "but you kept our men safe and alive, your fought tirelessly, you led by example.... and you saved my life. and for that, I am forever grateful."
and then the priestess broke, gasping a sob before hiding her face in your neck, her body trembling against yours.
"We'll heal. Together. I promise." you whispered after a moment, and when she only choked another cry and clung to you tighter, you sighed into her long silken hair.
you wished you could hold her tightly to your chest and tell her it was going to be ok like you usually did, but this time it felt different. the air was heavy with the pain and sharp with the horror that coming so close to losing each other made real, and alone in the starlit chambers with the weeping high priestess, you could only keep silent, grateful that you were alive but hoping even more that such a fear would never have to be experienced for either of you ever again.
end
#genshin impact#genshin kokomi#kokomi#kokomi x reader#writeblr#genshin impact oneshot#angst#hurt comfort#faeleas writes#faeleas requests
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(i dont care to do c! tags bc theres. so many characters. if i dont say cc! then im talking abt the characters) normally i am not one to think much about the syndicate bc outside of ranboo being there to protect tubbo the syndicate Frustrates me a bit but. if phil starts to realize just how fucked over tubbo got by schlatt being erased from the narrative (and especially how shittily techno has treated tubbo) then i really hope they lean into like. the fact that the syndicate may soon turn into phil, niki, ranboo, and possibly the mystery member (im including mystery member mostly because i think tubbo is on good terms with almost everyone except like. dream, possibly wilbur but we'll see, and like the eggpire ppl but none of them are likely options but it is possible that the mystery member could just be neutral) all like. wanting tubbo to be safe and phil is *just* reasonable enough that i think he'd realize how unfair it is for tubbo to have been subjected to so much shit just for techno to introduce even more fear and the need to hide in his life
like phil already keeps the bee duo marriage and michael a secret, he lets tubbo come over and while of course its mostly from the semi lore vibes phil seems vaguely fond of tubbo already (i dont think phil and tubbo have father/son vibes tho, more just like. tubbo is just That Kid that adults cant help but adore even though the kid will rob them of house and home. slightly amused elder watching a tiny fucking gremlin make sex jokes and talk about soviet russia), niki from what i remember still cares about tubbo (probably because she cant redirect any anger towards him without realizing how unjustified it would be kcnsks she can come up with excuses for hating tommy but tubbo didnt do anything that niki has a problem with outside of her maybe having a bad view on butcher army if she knows about it?), ranboo is. ranboo. i dont need to clarify. and then like said theres a very low possibility of the fifth member *disliking* tubbo or being unable to sympathize with him.
people talk a lot about how techno needs to lose in a way that he cant easily come back from without introspection and i think while the rest of the syndicate standing up for tubbo would increase technos grudge against tubbo initially its also like. something that i think would maybe force techno to see tubbo as a person because now theres nothing techno can box (haha gettit. tubbox tubbo in a box tubbo getting boxed into certain roles by people who refuse to let him out techno esp doin this teehoo) tubbo into that wouldnt just. acknowledge that tubbo is a person. hes not apart of the government anymore, not planning any failed revolution, the most negative title to his name is being one of the nuke makers but even then thats out of fear and safety and techno knows that. otherwise tubbos current crimes are nothing thats special to tubbo (like. stealing and searching for evidence in ppls homes and stuff, the latter of which techno doesnr even know about). right now tubbos a husband, a father, a friend, a kid, *ex*-government, a person. and just.
i think that with how much foreshadowing about tubbos execution no longer being a secret amongst the witnesses and tubbo himself and soon being something that people close to techno like phil and ranboo know about as well (in that i want phil to learn that techno did it and for ranboo to learn about it in general bc hes just biased enough for tubbo and just smart enough that i think even if somehow he wasnt told who did it he could figure it out), and with the fact that tubbos lore has been confirmed to now be something thats actively going to be played into? i think (or at least hope) that it might spur phil and techno into finally seeing tubbos side of the story (and probably also get into the possibility of tubbo opening up to tommy and ranboo but i do think realistically either tubbo will try to play it off/not truly open up about how much its effected him or tubbo will at first shut down or go into complete repression mode, especially if phil and ranboo get the story from other people rather than tubbo himself [but god do i hope they confront tubbo himself]. either those two or tubbo talks about his emotions through fucking snapping at something/someone like he did at quackity when reminded of his execution, which as long as its Not tommy or ranboo ill absolutely be cheering on him for)
which is all a very convoluted way of saying uhh. *grabby paws at the ccs currently involved in the arc of clearing up personal misconceptions about l'manberg (and especially tubbos involvement and how easily those around him judged him based off of their versions of the story)* tubbo lore? tubbo healing tubbo talking about his problems? characters learning to see him as a person and recognizing how traumatized he is and that hes not uneffected but actively repressing any effects? please? (also ending note as the cherry on top of this essay that im sorry for dropping into your inbox: im kind of glad that tommys healing arc and tubbos possible healing arc are going to happen at similar times but are still separate. something something its nice to see acknowledgement that tommy and tubbo wont heal in the same way and arent going to know how to help each other but theyre still going through it together. their arcs are intertwining without removing their individuality and as someone w major co-dependency issues its kind of nice idk. you can be there for someone and still acknowledge that you have your own things to go through too and that while you wont be alone you shouldnt force those around you to support you. the bench trio are all helping each other out of free will and genuine love for each other while still realizing they have some problems they arent ready to talk about yet that arent forced to the open because theyre all doing their best to handle each other with care and i just. bench trio my beloveds. the kids are alright.) -🎭🎪 (also as the actual end note if theres ever a need to refer to me as something other than the emojis mask or eyez works fine but the idea of my name being the emojis is also Very Funny to me so do what you will)
im working on my aperture camera college assignment rn and my brain is sort of fried so i dont have an intelligent answer, but i got the happy chemical reading this.
yeah. i think we all know here that my favorite character is tubbo, and i REALLY hope we get him addressing anything that’s happened to him in canon. pretty much all of what you said sounds very good. *grabby hands* spare tubbo lore? please? spare tubbo lore?
perhaps during the three weeks wilburs off in the fucking woods (/lh) we could have a the-others-find-out-what-happened-to-tubbo-(and in DETAIL)-arc. pleaseeeeeeeee and ty
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It’s simultaneously sad and funny that everyone thinks they know better then a team of international judges on what their ruling on kamila should have been when they so clearly didn’t care to read the ruling or WADA’s code. It wasn’t even about the positive test. If it was anyone else not russian they’d be happy their fave got the benefit of the doubt to not lose the chance of a lifetime to skate at the olympics but because it’s russia, everyone’s more than willing to levy all their frustrations with prior cheating and eteri on this girl who’s legally too young to understand or appreciate what’s happening to her. IOC can go after eteri and co and other responsible parties without shanking kamila in the process and i’m glad CAS made that call.
for real the ruling basically said the notification was untimely and pulling her from competition when the competition in question had already begun was unfair, which..... i agree with. it essentially just postponed the ruling on if the medals are going to be stripped (which imho they are, the ruling didnt even acknowledge the clearly bullshit dedushka defense lmao)
people have latched onto the wording of the rationales that were given, that a) shes a minor/"protected person," and b) it would cause "irreparable harm" but tbh neither of those were as strong logically or legally as the untimely notification which iirc was the third reason listed
also while we're here....... having someone compete who has tested positive and stripping their medal to give it to a "worthy" clean competitor is still harm, to the clean competitor, but it IS "reparable" harm, the reparation being giving them their rightful medal at a later date. everyone competing now is doing so with the knowledge that they very well may get a medal if they place 4-6 tonight. harm, yes, but not "irreparable" like not being able to compete in the first place if the positive result can be appealed, which is kamila's situation.
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THE BAD ONE
Warning: smut, dom henry sub reader, gangs and guns, drugs mentioned
A/N: hey everyone this is going to be a series. This is a follow up on the very popular and loved scene from all you guys with daddy Walter and a gun. I hope you enjoy this, I didnt do this alone my beautiful friend @nitannichionne will help co-write this whole series.
CHAPTER 1:
24 HOURS BEFORE...
WALTER POV
She was on her hands and knees as I pistoned my cock into her. Fuuuck, she felt so good that I just wanted that sweet pussy around my shaft always. Her inner lips held onto me, begging for me to stay deep in her wanting cunt. Her juices flowed in squirts over me-and god damn that was the hottest fucking thing I'd ever seen. I felt her all over me rinsing off her juices just to build it all up again… ugh… I fuckin’ need this every day, I think as I lose myself in her, my head falling back .... I need her, want her.
“Detective?”
I look up, frowning over Jack Livingston. He was clean, too clean, and now looking at the picture of him with Derek Jensen, who was a well known dealer whose source we couldn’t seem to find, it made sense. How to link them was getting to me. Every time I was close, it ended in my commanding officer getting some sort of complaint or a dead body. I didn’t spare the officer a glance, looking at the array of paperwork I had trying to link the two. “What?”
“Your girl.”
I see her face on the sheet. “She’s not my girl.” Anymore, I tell myself as my other hand forms into a fist. I was just thinking about her, fantasizing about her. Would I ever be free of her, or did I even want to? I didn’t call her again, after weeks of dating and one of the hottest nights of my life. I felt too much too fast and I didn’t like how out of control I felt, but yet…free.
“She may not be anybody’s girl if you don’t act fast,” the other cop says. “read it.”
I read the sheet, and see it’s from an accountable source. Printouts of her and Jensen? What the fuck? She went out with him?! My jealousy and anger melted into worry and dread. But if she’s connected, saw anything…I stop breathing as I realize there is a hit on her. Too late. I jump out of my seat and throw on my jacket, then check my gun and refill clip.
“What’s going on?” Rachel asks. I don’t answer and she looks at my desk. “Her? Who’s she?”
“Someone important,” I tell her. “a potential witness.”
“I thought I saw her here…with you.”
“Maybe.”
“Who is she?” Rachel looks upset, and not for professional reasons. “You never told me about her.”
“She’s not part of my job.” I move away from her.
“But she isn’t now?” Rachel sounds upset, but I have no time for it. “Walter?”
I walk away from her and don’t look back. “Carter!”
“Yo!” Carter answers.
“Sending you a number. Trace it. Yesterday, you got it?”
“Got it.”
“Walter—” Rachel calls, obviously following me. I turn around on her, and she gasps, stepping back.
“Stay. Out of this,” I warn her, and she knows I’m serious. “I mean it.” I go to my car and take off, my wheels pealing as I gun the motor and I glance Rachel on the street watching me drive away.
****************
You are sitting at The Sip, your favorite coffee shop. It’s huge having a fireplace, loads of books to read and a small stage for poetry slams and local talent. Tucked away in a corner, you hide behind a romance novel, but your mind turns to Walter. If you have a free moment, it always turns to Walter, and you didn’t want it to. You’d never had a Daddy like that. He made you feel so protected and wanted, lusted and cherished in one kiss. Even as he possessed you, holding your hands over your head, gripping your hips as he rutted you, leaving your bottom reddened and kissing it afterwards, you felt incredibly free. You were haunted by that night together, one you thought would be the first of many. And then he just…left…
“You okay?”
You look up at Violet, the coffee barista. “Yeah.”
“You just look out of it,” Violet says thoughtfully. “you look trapped.”
Trapped was definitely it. “Aren’t we all?” You joke.
“Yeah, I escape via Tumblr and Fortnite,” Viola shrugs. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“Thanks.”
Ever since you saw that business guy Livingston meet your now ex-boyfriend Derek Jensen at his club, and saw the money and drugs, you knew you were suddenly where you didn’t want to be. Heartbroken over Walter, you rebounded with an old bad boy high school sweetheart you hadn’t seen in years. What a mistake. You thought you were safe until they shot up your apartment the other night in a drive by. If you hadn’t been taking out the garbage at that exact same time, they would have gotten you. You ran back into your apartment, packed a backpack with anything you thought you’d need and didn’t return-not to your place and not to work. You took an Uber by the train station and bus station and some of Derek’s thugs were there. You didn’t want to visit any relatives or friends. You were on your own and trapped in your own city.
You look up at the large front window and freeze. You see Derek’s thugs in front and you scoot down in your booth, using the book for cover. You leave cash on the table and slide out slowly, then head for the bathroom. You pass it, heading for the back exit. You hear your name called and flinch, turning. “Hey, Violet.”
“Hey,” she nods.
You frown. Why is she all over you tonight? “What’s—”
“Hey, I just got a hundo to come look for you or call if I see you,” Violet frowns. “The hell is going on?”
“Did you say you saw me?”
“No,” she shakes her head. “but you better go.” She turns to leave. “Don’t come back here, at least till the heat is off, alright?”
You nod and head out the back door into the alley. You hear your name yelled at the end of it and see Derek’s thugs there, both with their hands in their jackets like they have guns. You back away and turn to run—right into a very broad chest.
“Come on,” Walter growls.
“Leave me alone!” you yell, hoping they hear you. You have no intention of going with them but the idea that they would think you’re an informant would make matters worse.
Walter throws you behind him and the thugs draw their weapons and start shooting. He actually drops one on his first shot and narrowly misses the other, buying time to back you to his car. “Get in.”
You hesitate. “What are you doing here?”
“Saving your ass!” he growls, pulling you by your arm.
You struggle against him. “Stop—”
“I said—” Being so much bigger than you, he picks you up around your waist, opens the door and throws you in the back seat. “Get the fuck in. Now!”
You turn to the other door and grab the handle.
“I wish you would, little one.”
A wave of heat washes over your body at that comment. It took you back to that night, and you became his like it was yesterday. Tears well in your eyes, wanting to obey him for reasons you didn’t want to think about.
“Lie down.”
He slides into the front seat, and backs out of the alley at highway speed, does a three point turn when he hits the street, and speeds off into the night.
Please !!! Let me know how you like it DM me or comment and repost, reblog the shit out of it. If you want to be added to the tag list let me know !!!
Tag list:
@nitannichionne @thedaringfriend @ohjules @modernmorticiaa @cavillvirus @lady-evans @exchelsior @lindsaytriestowrite @madbaddic7ed @littlestasyaneedsadaddydom @castielgirl21 @madelinelina @stripper-patrick @pringlepapi @star017 @scorpionchild81 @sofiebstar @iloveyouyen @henryfanfics101 @henrycavillworld @dancingwendigo @loverofallfandoms99 @cavillforever @cavilliciousness @viking-raider @fuckoffbard @henrycavilledits @henrycavillobsessed @gioiswriting @tricenorthman-blog @henrythickcavill @aestheticallywinchester @dearlybelovedluke @kinbhot4henners @mellybeean @elinalfrida @cutiecherriepie @iam-laiya @weareperfectwolves @ladamari68 @mississippivoodoo @cavillunraveled @henrycavillworld @ladylazarus616 @mrsbanreswillseeyou @mysticalcherryblossomwasteland @littlefreya @stickyhoney @onlyhenrys @savvy-ivvory
#henry cavill#henry cavill fan fiction#henry cavill x reader#the witcher#daddy#henry cavill owns me#henry cavill smut#night hunter#waltermarshall#walter marshall#august walker fan fiction#augustwalker#august walker#cavill#cavillry#charles brandon#the man from uncle#the tudors#thewitcher#geralt x reader#geralt x y/n#witcher geralt#geralt of rivia#walter marshall x you#walter marshall x ofc#walter marshall x reader#august walker x reader#august walker x ofc#august walker x you#henry cavill x ofc
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Requests (5/23/2021)
Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.
But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D
Anonymous said:
Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?
I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot
Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(
Anonymous said:
Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!
I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)
Anonymous said:
I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great
Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)
Anonymous said:
Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?
I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love
Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats? Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons
So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.
Anonymous said:
Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request
Sounds fun, sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.
Totally! This sounds fun. :D
Anonymous said:
Can you do thelma and Louise?
I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)
Anonymous said:
Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?
I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)
Anonymous said:
it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav
Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)
Anonymous said:
Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!
Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?
You got it!
Anonymous said:
Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time" but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again
So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.
Anonymous said:
Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?
I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)
Anonymous said:
Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks
You got it!
Anonymous said:
Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit
Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!
Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)
...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.
Anonymous said:
Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again
You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)
Anonymous said:
Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you
Sure thing!
Anonymous said:
Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share
I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.
Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.
In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!
Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)
Anonymous said:
Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!
Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)
Anonymous said:
Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome
You got it!
Anonymous said:
Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy
Yep!
Anonymous said:
Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please
Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(
Anonymous said:
Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance
I will remember that. :)
Anonymous said:
Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style
Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(
Anonymous said:
How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.
So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.
I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)
Anonymous said:
If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?
I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.
About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.
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Crying In The Club
Overhaul x F!Reader
Warnings: Angst, bullying, false love, physical abuse
*Part 1* *Part 2* *Part 3*
A/N: Bruh i didn’t mean for it to be this long. I think i might have gotten to into it. I promise that this was only going to be angst but then i started. This is not as angsty as i thought it was gonna be but i still like it. The ending may seem a bit rushed and to that im sorry OvO
@zuffer-weird-girl finally finished it after many gruesome hours trying to figure out where this fic should lead too XD
~~~
It wasn’t a secret to anyone that knew you that you always a a taste in mysterious and secretive men. You just couldn’t help it. You liked the mystery. You were never one to back down from a challenge.
That was until you met Chisaki Kai.
You were introduced to him by the club owner of the place you use to work at. For some odd reason you couldn’t help but fall in love with those mysterious golden eyes. Whenever he was around you, your heart would beat faster then it ever had for any of the other men you have dated over the years.
His voice sent shivers down your spine making you bit your lip. Your co-workers noticed that whenever he came into the club for business reasons you were always the one who needed to be their server. They didn’t question it cause they found the little game of cat and mouse funny.
You kinda knew you were playing with fire when you started to flirt with him. You made sure to do your research before going up to a complete stranger and start flirting with them. You knew that he went by the name Overhaul even though his real name was Chisaki Kai.
~~~
5 month’s after you first met him
“Hey Overhaul. What would you like today sir?” You say smiling at the gangster. You may have done some research but you only knew his name, his real name at least.
“Black coffee.”
“Of course sir!” You turn around and walk towards the counter. Even the slightest things made you all pink and blushy. You couldn’t help that you were so damn attracted to this sex appeal of a man.
“Just ask him out already dipshit.” You snap your head towards the voice, about to go off before you realize it was your boss.
“W-what do you mean boss?” You laugh nervously trying to avoid the subject.
“It’s obvious you like him. Whats the worse that can happen? He could say no.”
“Or he could kill me-”
“That too. But hey, it’s a no unless you ask.” With that final word he turned around and left, leaving you to your thoughts.
You make his coffee before going back to the seating area and giving him his coffee, quickly smiling a quickly running back to the bar to watch him from afar.
Once he picked up his coffee he noticed a small piece of napkin underneath his cup. He was going to complain but before he could he noticed the numbers that was written on the napkin.
“The hell is this?” Kai said as he picked up the piece of napkin with his gloved fingers before looking at you which in return you quickly looked away.
“I believe she gave you her phone number boss. Doesn’t surprise me, she’s been hitting on you for awhile.” Overhaul looked at his clock haired friend.
“Really? I must not have noticed or cared.” Overhaul looked at the paper again before destroying it with is quirk. He had no time for relationships when his drug was close to perfection. He looked in the direction he last saw you in, which you were no longer there.
You were in fact hiding in the emoplyee’s only bathroom crying your eyes out. Why are you crying? You didn’t even know him that long.
‘It could be the fact he just decided to tear it up in front of you.’ You thought to yourself as you felt your mascara running down your cheeks. You probably looked like a hot mess but you didnt care. You were hurt. Rejection hurt in general but for some reason when it came to him, your heart felt like it was disintegrating in your own chest.
“I can’t go back out there. It would be too embarrassing.” You say to yourself as you try to calm yourself down.
“No what’s embarrassing is the fact i just took multiple pictures of you crying on the bathroom floor.” A smug voice laughed at you. You looked up and saw it was one of your ex co-workers. You remembered her. She was the one who was recently fired from her job here since you were doing so well that they decided that they didn’t need her.
“I’m going to print this picture and put it all over the bar how does that sound? Sounds pretty embarrassing if you ask me.” She laughed at your quivering figure on the floor. How would you even show your face at work after that.
Before she could say anything else you got up, pushed her to the side and ran out the back door, all the while with tears streaming down your face.
You haven’t shown your face there since.
~~~
3 months after incident
You were called by your boss over and over again begging you to come back to work. Saying how that the girl was arrested and how nobody even saw the pictures. Which was a complete fucking lie. The girl even sent you the pictures she printed of you hung all around the club. Including some of your co-workers and customers laughing at you.
What if he saw them?
The fact that Overhaul could’ve seen them sent you into a frenzy. How would he look at you now? Probably as some low little girl with no sense of dignity. That’s probably what he thought about you.
~~~
Kai sat at the VIP lounge with his body radiating angry. He had just left the Shie Hassakai base in a rage after an argument with his adoptive father.
His foot tapped rapidly on the ground while his eyebrow twitched. His hands clenching into fist that left his knuckles white.
How dare Pops do this to him?
Pops had told Kai that day that if Kai wanted to become the next head of the Shie Hassakai, that he would have to find a relationship. In Pops words ‘someone to calm you down whenever you upset or stress.’
Kai knew that being the head of the Shie Hassakai would be stressful, but he didn’t need someone to ‘calm him down’, he was fine by himself. Even though it pissed Kai off royally, he didn’t want to disappoint Pops. Which lead him back to the club you use to work at.
After the incident of you asking him out he didn’t show back up for awhile. He hated awkward encounters and to see your face after it? Gave him shivers. SO he didn’t show up to said club after a couple months, hoping that by giving it time, everything would go back to the it was.
He heard the familiar footsteps of someone approaching the lounge. He expected to see you but was disappointed when a different server came prancing in.
“Where is (Y/N)?” Considering how long you served him, he knew you by name. So considering that you weren’t there was confusing.
“O-oh! Miss (Y/N) quit a 3 months ago after a incident happened. But what can i get you?” The girl felt scared as she looked at him. He had a reputation for being mean and angry, not to mention how many people he’s killed. So the fact that you were able to go up to him without a problem was kinda cool.
“...Black coffee.”
“Right away sir!” The girl quickly scurried away leaving the man to think.
He hoped that maybe some coffee would clear his mind and try to figure out of the situation he was put in by his father.
Then it hit him.
If you were willing to go out with him once? Why wouldn’t you try to ask him out again? Of course he would be only using you for his own personal gain, not really caring if you were happy but if he was dating you then Pops would finally get off his ass.
~~~
4 months after incident
You were walking by your old job with a mask covering your face wishing that no one noticed you.
But he did.
“Hey you.” You froze up, remembering that enchanting voice. You turn around and are greeted with a close up of the man who kinda screwed you over.
“What do you want?” You say trying to sound confident but you only came across as meek and scared.
“Why did you quit?” He looked down at you. His eyes felt like he was peering into your soul, leaving no room for lies.
“I rather not speak about it.” You go to turn around and leave before you feel a gloved hand grab your wrist and pull you back closer to the male.
“I wanted to talk to you about another thing.” You looked at him, trying to figure out what he could possibly talk to you about.
“Okay I guess...what is it?”
“Would you still like to go out on a date?”
“I...your not making fun of me are you?”
“I may be an asshole but I would like to apologize.” Kai said as he looked at you directly. You were going to say no, since the damage had already been done, but you couldn’t find it in you. There was just something in his eyes that you couldn’t look away from.
“Sure...”
~~~
First Date?
You were excited to say the least. After he asked you out and you said yes, you agreed to meet him at a cafe nearby on Sunday.
As the days went by, you slowly got more and more excited. How could you not be? After a few shitty months something actually good happens.
“Casual I should dress casual- SHIT ONLY 20 MINUTES LEFT?!” You screeched as soon as you saw the clock. You had already taken a shower. A long one in fact since you knew the man didn’t like germs.
You grab a simple outfit that you thought would do the trick and quickly put your hair into a ponytail (if you have short hair you can just vibe :) ).
You grabbed your purse and got into your car as fast as you could. You hoped you would make it on time since everyone seemed to be going places that same day.
~~~
You managed to get to the cafe 5 minutes early only to see him already there.
‘Nice going (y/n), now he’s gonna think we have horrible time management.’ You curse yourself in your head before walking in and sitting down next to him.
“Sorry, it was really busy traffic.” You giggle nervously as you tuck a lose strand behind your ear.
“It’s fine. Now tell me about yourself.” Straight to the point huh? Well that’s another thing you liked about him. Your little crush probably had sparkled into a whole ass infatuation.
You only smile before a pink blush covered your cheeks and neck. You let out a little chuckle before you pretty much told him everything. You liked how he was listening to all of it, it made you all giddy inside.
Kai looked at you continue to ramble about non-important things. Well it seemed important to you. But not to him. Like he said before, he didn’t care about you. He just wanted Pops off his ass so he could just be the next head of the yakuza.
Oh god how he wanted to kill you. Your rambling was getting on his nerves. Did you ever shut up? Kai wasn’t a patient man and many people knew this.
“But enough about me, what do you like to do for fun?” You questions snapped him out of his thoughts and brought him back to this disgusting cafe.
“I’m usually too busy to do anything other than work.” He wasn’t lying. His work was getting the best of him and he had no time to dilly dally around.
“Well that sounds like it sucks, but hey at least your hardworking! That’s a good trait right?” You said trying to lighten up his seemingly sour mood.
“Sure. What kind of education do you have?” His question seemed to have struck a cord with you when he saw your smile drop. He didn’t show it but behind his mask he was holding back a chuckle.
“I n-never went to college....” Kai looked at you with disgust or disappointment he couldn’t really tell. You didn’t even have a college degree. Jeez, your just a lowly spec underneath his shoe.
“Why so?” You then proceeded to tell him that you needed a job to pay for your brothers medicine and that your family was too poor for college.
So what? Sure you didn’t have the upper hand in life but neither did he and look what he accomplished! God you were so insufferable.
~~~
After the date
“I had such a good time! Did you?” You ask as you smile out of extreme happiness. This has been the most happy you’ve been in a long time.
“Yes.” Overhaul looked down at you. His face still as blank as ever. But it didn’t bother you, he was always like that!
“Well that’s good to hear. I should get going now-”
“Come home with me.”
“What?!” Your eyes went wide as you stare at the taller man who only looked at you with a questionable glance. What did he mean by that?
“I want you to meet someone.” Oh thank god it’s only that. You were getting kinda worried that he was jumping into THAT STUFF. But he only wanted you to meet someone.
“Oh okay...who am I meeting?” You ask nervously as you followed Overhaul to the direction he was going.
“My father.” SHIT REALLY?! THIS EARLY?! Okay okay (y/n) don’t fucking panic. Everything will be fine. Everything will be okay, just don’t act super fucking stupid.
~~~
“Pops this is my girlfriend (Y/N).” Kai said as he pushed you towards him. Kai could sense you surprise but he knew that you wouldn’t do anything about it. You were to shy for that.
“Ah is that so? Tell me miss (Y/N) how long have you been dating?” Pops looked down at you. Overhauls presence was suffocating as you were pushed to lie just by his presence.
“About two months now. It’s great to meet you!” You smile at the older man who seemed pleased at your response.
“That’s good to hear. I wished you would have told me about her sooner Kai. She seems like a swell lady.” The older man said to his son.
So people on the street called him Overhaul but in this house he was Kai. Interesting. You turned and looked at Kai a smile on your face but he didn’t seem to notice you. He walked up to his father and started talking to him in hushed whispers. You wanted to lean in closer to what he was saying but decided against it in order to stay on his good side.
~~~
One Month Later
As you sat in the back of Overhauls car you couldn’t help but tap your leg repeatedly. Your nervousness getting the better of you as you make your way to the Shie Hassakai base once more.
One week ago Overhaul had told you he wanted you to move in with him. He said it was for ‘safety purposes’ considering you were the girlfriend of the future head of the Hassakai. You were unsure at first but you said yes eventually with enough convincing.
You didn’t have many things in your apartment so moving wasn’t really that hard for you. You had sold a lot of your things just to be able to pay rent. SO you only had stuff that had sentimental value.
You looked around the empty car that was only occupied by you and the driver. Who was another Yakuza member. You pat your knees nervously as you look outside the car window seeing it moving past stores and people.
~~~
“I’m here.” You say as you entered the compound. You grab your things and begin to look for Overhaul.
The silence in the compound was deafening. it felt like it threatened your entire exsitence.
“This way.” You jump at the sound of Overhauls voice coming from behind you. You turn around and meekly follow him into a plan white room. There was a bed a bathroom connected to said bedroom and a closet. You walk into the room looking at it in admiration.
“This is so cool! Thanks-”
SLAM
You jumped in place and turn behind you quickly. And to your surprise, the door was closed and Overhaul was no where to be seen. You rub your arm meekly and turn around to unpack your things.
You open up your suitcase and begun to take out your clothes and your personal items before going into the bathroom to take a shower.
~~~
The next morning
You sit in your lovers office while he talks to his father. You didn’t even say anything this entire meeting other then sit there and look pretty. Honestly you were so close to drifting off but thankfully Pops had asked you a question before you could.
“What do you think is my sons best quality?” You were shocked at such a random question but answered no less.
“There are too many to choose from! His work ethic is outstanding and his confidence is what I like about him. Of course there’s more though.” You smile. You went to move a bit only to accidentally brush a single fingertip on Overhaul’s thigh. You didn’t even notice it honestly.
But he did.
How fucking dare you touch him? How dare you rub your disgusting quirk filled body onto his pure one? You even touched him in front of his father! He was so embarrassed. It took him his entire being not to break out in hives and kill you right then in there. He couldn’t take it anymore. He couldn’t handle knowing that you thought he loved you when in reality he was only using you to get what he wants. Its not out of guilt it was maybe if he told you, you would be so close to him. That you wouldn’t even speak so he didn’t have to listen to your disgusting ass voice.
He was surely going to punish you after this meeting was over and you both were back in your room.
~~~
You walked towards your room after the little meeting having a spring in your step. It seemed like it was all going well. Pops liked you and Overhaul seemed to not be bothered by everything as much anymore.
You open your door to your room only to be pushed in and the door locked behind you.
“Hey what the hell?” You turn around to see a really angry Overhaul covered in hives and a murderous look in his eye.
“Are you o-” Before you could say anything else Overhaul grabbed you by the throat lifting you up in the air.
“How fucking dare you touch me during that meeting?!” You let out a little gasp for air as your legs kicked around trying to find stable ground.
“B-but i thought.” You choke the words out as your vision starts to go black. His grip around your throat getting harder and harder.
“Well you thought wrong. The only reason im with your pathetic ass is because my father said that if i don’t get a girlfriend he won’t make me the leader of the Shie Hassakai.” Tears formed in your eyes as you realized that this entire time was just a ploy to use you for his own personal gain.
“Why m-me?” You gasped out the words as your entire body felt like it was dying. Your energy going down by the second.
“Cause you were the only one I knew who would immediately say yes.” He let go of your throat and letting you fall to the ground. You hold your throat as you choke and gasp for air. Coughing as air finally entered your lungs once more. You look up at Overhaul who only smacked you on your left cheek.
“Whenever we’re alone you are to not look at me, touch me, or even speak to me. I want nothing to do to you other then use you for my personal gain. You will never mean anything to me understand?” His words carved into your heart like knives. Just as you started to feel like yourself again, another incident comes to fuck it all up.
“I said do you understand?!” Overhaul grabbed you by your hair tugging it making you face him.
“Yes I understand!” Tears fall down your eyes like a water faucet. Overhauls fingerprints stain your neck as they slowly start to bruise. The red hand-print adorned your face like a tattoo and the grip on your hair felt like he was ripping them all out slowly.
Overhaul finally let you go after you had answered him. Your body lying on the floor shaking in sadness and fear.
“When my father asks you why you have those finger prints on your neck lie about how you got them. Or you will be in even more trouble that your worth.”
“O-okay...” You hiccuped. Overhaul turned around and left the room locking it from the outside.
You grab your knees and bring yourself into a fetal position as your tears make the carpet wet.
~~~
2 months later
After that situation you never really came out of your room. Only when it was necessary. Why would you leave? It seems like every time you do, it always leads to another sort of punishment.
You sit in your room lying on your ed and trying to plan an escape out of this hell hole and a revenge plan on Overhaul.
‘You could tell his father.’ You say to yourself as you let out a sigh. How would you even get close to Pops? Overhaul is around him like bee’s to honey.
‘Do it when he’s in the bathroom! You’ll be protected by him. There’s not way he’d hurt his father.’
You felt a gleam of hope at this newfound idea in which you got up quickly to get dressed a little bit better.
Once all dressed and ready you walk the halls of the compound silently hoping to find pops and tell him everything that has been going on.
You tip toe around the base as you look over your shoulder repeatedly hoping that Overhaul wasn’t there. You tip toe faster when you hear the voice of Pops in a nearby room.
You open the door and see Pops sitting on a couch talking to someone. Once you heard his voice you go to shut the door but Pops had spotted you before you could make a run for it.
“Ah (y/n), what can we do for you?” Your head was running a million miles per hour as you look at Overhaul who glared at you with his golden orbs.
“Uh Pops can I talk to you privately? I got a surprise for him but i wanted to know your opinion.” That was a complete lie. You would never give that monster anything. But maybe if you told Pops that truth he would punish him and would be able to set you free.
“Oh sure! Kai your girlfriend is such a sweet little thing.” Overhauls widen once he realized you plan. But before he could drag Pops back you had already had him out the door.
“So whats the surprise?” Pops chuckled before you started tearing up and balling.
“Woah woah, what wrong?”
“It’s your son! Don’t believe a word he says! He doesn’t love me! He’s only using me to be the head of the Hassakai! Please you have to help me leave! Every time i do something he doesn’t like he punishes me for it!” You cry as tears stream down your face.
“Is this true?” His voice was calming as it soothed your fear. You looked up at him feeling safe with a bit of hope gleaming in your eyes. You shook your head yes.
“I’m so sorry my son had done this to you I’ll-” Before he could even finish his sentence Kai had touched Pops in the neck, causing him to pass out onto the floor.
“You really did it now (y/n).” Overhaul took steps towards you as you walked away from him. Your entire body shook as you stared at the ruthless man.
“What did you do to Pops?!” You scream at him.
“That’s nothing of your concern.” He ran at you with high speed as to catch you. You turn around and begin to run like your life depended on it. Which it did.
“Get back here!” Your tears stained your face making it difficult to see where you were going.
You knew you couldn’t out run Overhaul forever. He was way more fit then you were and was taller too. But through your tears you saw the front door of the compound.
Your heart nearly jumped out of its chest before running even faster using all of your energy to try and make it to the door. You saw your freedom right in front of you, it was there. You could almost feel it-
“Got you (y/n).” You felt your hair being grabbed then tugged backwards, causing you to land on the ground.
“Please..just let me go...”
“After that stunt you just pulled? I don’t think i can do that.” With your hair still in his hand he dragged you back to your room by your hair.
“If your gonna kill me just do it already then you piece of shit!” You scream at him from the top of your lungs. You continue to swear at him and try to escape from his grasp.
Your room door open and you were thrown into it. Hearing the door lock behind you. You rub you head and see Overhaul standing above you.
“Now where to begin?”
#mha#bnha#overhaul#overhaul x reader#kai chisaki#overhaul angst#chisaki overhaul#mha overhaul#kai#shie hassaikai#kai chisaki x reader
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The bua was supposed to come a while ago but didnt? What changed? Bc she doesnt want to let go of the attention she gets??? So harry and co are just letting her have all the power here? thats…….. if they dont drop this shit already i wanna enjoy harry content without any mention of her 😴 is it really worth losing fans and your legend status over, wasting your talent and youth on a old bag? Crazy. 🥴
It's not that she has all the power, but she does have a lot of power. As you all may know, or maybe not, Olivia Wilde is set to be the director for Spider-woman-directly linked to Sony- and that has enough power to make this continue. Since H stormed off into Sony, we've seen less and less of them interacting because he wants out. She is a walking publicity stunt for anything, be it clothing, movies, etc. That's why she wants to continue; she's set to start filming the Kerri Strug Biopic soon in Atlanta, followed by Spiderwoman-IF THEY DON'T FIRE HER. It's not just one movie involved, but her and her rep being out there. More attention = More views.
Anyway, I don't know if people know this but, she, legit, wanted to be with H since he was 18? When she told Weinstein to give that kid (H) a role, she would star in it. It's a weird-ass situation, and that's why you see H uncomfy all the time.
Still, this won't last any longer, I believe. H is getting it bad, and the Azoffs aren't happy. I wouldn't want to cross Irving.
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We Weren’t Meant To Be.(A Levi x Reader one shot)
This is angst af. No cheating or anything just two people who tried very hard to be together.
Unfortunately, in the end, we just weren’t meant to be. No matter how much we tried to stay together, we always got torn apart. And now..there’s nothing in this world that could bring us back to each other. Perhaps, in another life, maybe just maybe, we might just get a chance.
It was raining when I first met him. The streets of Tokyo covered with water while people rushed to go home. Not me. This was my time to photograph everything. I captured a young couple running under their shared umbrella, laughing, an old man sitting on a bench with a transparent umbrella and a woman with her daughter. As I was about to snap another one, I bumped into someone. “Watch it, brat.”, was what I heard. I turned to the voice and the man looked at me. “Oh sorry. I didnt mean to bump into you like that.”, I say nervously. All I get in response is a “Tch”. I stare at him. He has really nice hair, good shaped nose and good skin. Since he wasn’t looking at me, I quickly snap a shot of his side profile. The lighting of the street laps and buildings made him seem model-like. “Uhm, listen. Sorry about earlier. Can I buy you a coffee to make up for it?”, I ask the man. He looks at me and scoffs. “No.” He answers. I frown. “Oh okay. Have a good night then.”, I say to him. I turn to walk away when I hear, “Only because I drink tea.” I turn back around to see him smirking at me. “Come on. There’s a nice café down the street.”, he says as he starts walking. I smile and follow him. Needless to say, I really fell in love with him on that day.
It was raining when he brought me to his apartment after our fifth date. Levi and I grew very close and comfortable with each other on that first night we met. We clicked. Right now, I was soaking wet and told Levi that I could go home. “Shut up and go into my room. Take whatever clothes you need after showering.”, he says bluntly. I smile and nod at him as I make my way to his room. I had a warm shower and when I was down, wrapped myself in a big fluffy towel. I walk out of the bathroom to see Levi taking his shirt off. “Oh hey.” I say to him. Levi stops and looks at me. It’s not a normal stare. I felt a little shy, the guy I liked was looking me while I was naked. I looked down at my feet until I saw his in front of mine. I look up and he captures my lips in his. I wrap my hands around his neck and his hands make their way around my waist. It started to become hot. “Take it off.” He says as he reaches for the towel. I take it off and he moves us to his bed and we fall on it. He kisses me again and then picks up his head. “Do you want to? I can stop if you want.”, he whispers into my lips. “No. I want to, Levi.” I say as I move hand down to remove his belt and unbutton his pants. He makes it easier and quickly takes them off. We go under the blanket and made love while the thunder sounded.
It was raining while I walked away from him. I hated fighting with him. But then again, all he had to do was act like an asshole to put me off. “If I’m such a burden, then maybe I should just walk out of here and never come back!?” “Yeah well maybe you should!” I cringe when I think about the words we threw at each other. I knew I didn’t mean any of it but I wasn’t too sure about him. “Y/N!” I hear my name being shouted. I didn’t turn around though. I picked up the pace of my walking. I heard footsteps running towards me from the back. All of a sudden a pair of arms wrap around me. “Y/n, I’m sorry. Come back.” Levi apologizes to me. I try to pull away from his tight grip. “No. You said I was burden so I’m making myself scarce. That’s what you wanted right?” I say harshly. His grip only got tighter. “Y/n...no. That’s not what I want. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to say that. Please come back with me. I’m so sorry” I could hear the crack in his voice like he was about to cry. I quickly turn around and hug him back. “Okay.” I say.
It was raining when I phoned him. The sound of his voice raising as I tried speaking with him. “Levi, all you have to say is that you don’t want to talk. That’s it. Don’t fucking ghost me for no reason. If you don’t want to talk, tell me and I’ll give you space. Is that so fucking hard?” I ask him. “You know what, Y/n? I don’t wanna talk.”, Levi replies and hangs up. Why did he have to be so difficult? Fine if he wasn’t going to talk, I wasn’t going to talk. I don’t need this shit in my life. A week went by. Then two. Then three. Now approaching almost a month, I had enough. Not one phone call, text or mail. I pick up my keys and make my way to my car. I drove to Levi’s and parked the car in his driveway. I walk up to his door and knock loudly. When it opened, I almost cried. Levi’s eyes were black underneath and it looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks. “Y/n?” He says. “What are you doing here?” “What do you mean what am I doing here? I haven’t seen you in three and a half weeks and that’s all you can say?” I reply to him. He looks down. “Levi what’s going on? What happened? Talk to me.” I plead with him. He takes my hand in his and takes my into his apartment. He tells me about work and the stress that it put on him. How the workload became so much that if he was distracted, he would lose his temper. That night we stayed in each other’s arms until the morning.
It was raining when I saw him with her. He told me not to worry about it and that she was just a co-worker. Well, co-workers don’t flirt like that. I slam my drink on the table and walk away. I walk down the stairs and into the garage. “Y/N!” Levi calls out to me as I get into the car. “You know what?!” I slam the door closed. “I hate you, Levi. If you wanted to be with her, leave me. Why would you flirt with her with me right there? Have no idea how much it hurts seeing you like that?” I argue with him. Levi widens his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about? Petra is nobody. She’s been trying to get me forever and I know she didn’t stand a chance because I have you. You actually thought I would do that to you? What do you take me for? A cheater?”, he says, annoyed. I take a breath. I guess I was overreacting. “You know what, Y/n? I thought this would be a nice evening for us since we both haven’t had a day off in a while and the amount of work we had to do and we couldn’t be together. But now, it looks like you want to jump to conclusions about something that’s not even true and accuse me of cheating as soon as you see someone talking to me? You’re acting childish right now. It’s one thing to ruin a night but to accuse me of something like that, just proves to me that you don’t to know me at all.”, Levi rants to me. The tears already started falling, but I widen my eyes at one thing. “Childish!? I’M ACTING CHILDISH? Because I see my boyfriend flirt with some else is just me being CHILDISH. Wow. Fuck you Levi.” I tell him. Levi doesn’t say anything. He just scoffs and starts to walk away. Wait... “Wait...Levi..-“ “Just go home. I have some other stuff to attend to.”, he tells me without turning back. I cried. I cried on my way home, in the shower and to make myself sleep. Fuck.
It was raining when I heard the knock on my door. I had blocked Levi on everything I had him on. I didn’t return his phone calls nor did I try to call him. I knew I was wrong but when he said all those things, I could feel my heart breaking. I woke up and opened the door to see Hange, one of Levi’s closest friends. “Hange.” I say shocked. “Hey. May I come in?” I nod my head and allow her inside. We sit down after I made her tea and she starts speaking. “Y/n, have you spoken with him?” She asks me. I shake my head. “Well, he isn’t doing good either. He hasn’t been sleeping or eating. He tried calling and everything.” “Yeah. I know.” I answer her. She sighs. “Y/n. Please. He hasn’t been himself. He’s being a pain in the ass at work and yelling at everyone. He told me what had happened between you two. You didn’t really think he was flirting with her, did you?” Hange asks me. “Of course I did. She touching his shoulder and he was chuckling at her. It made me furious. What would you do if you saw Erwin act like that with someone?”, I ask her. “The same I guess. But-“ “No buts, Hange. He called me childish.” I defend myself. “You still love him, don’t you?” I widen my eyes then drop my head. Did I still love him? “I-I-“ knock knock knock I hear my door. I wake up and open it to see..”Levi?” I say, surprised. “Y-Y/n..” He says softly. I sniff the air. “Have you been drinking?”, I ask him. All he does is nod his head slowly. He starts swaying and falls onto me. “Hange! Help!” I call out to her. We put him on my bed and I carefully remove his shoes and jacket. It’s soaked. It looked like he walked here or something. I remove his clothes and put some of his that he left here. When he woke up, I heard him throwing up in my bathroom. I left some pain killers in the bathroom for him. I was in the kitchen and when I turned around there he was. Tired and hungover. I made us our breakfast and we ate in silence. When he came to his senses he started speaking. “Y/n..” he says softly. I don’t pick up my head. “I’m so sorry. I just..last night night when I drank all I could think about was you telling me that you hate me. I couldn’t stand it. I hated myself for that. I shouldn’t have spoken to Petra so openly like that.”, he finishes. I still haven’t spoken and that cause Levi to become uneasy. “Y/n. Please say something. Anything.”, he pleads. I still don’t. I don’t know why. “Ok. Fine. But can you answer me this one question? Do you hate me?” I suddenly pick up my head. He becomes shocked at the sudden movement but continues anyway. “Tell me you hate me and I will leave here. I will never bother you again.” He says eyes locked with mine. My tears start to fall. No. No I didn’t hate him. “N-no Levi. I-I don’t h-ate you. Please don’t leave me.” I stutter and cry while I put my head down. I cry until I feel him next to me. He turns my chair and kneels down in front of me. I open my eyes and look at his face. He is crying too. I never saw him cry. I quickly wipe his tears and kiss him. And fall down into him and hug him. We stayed like that until I pulled away. “I’m sorry. For everything.” I softly say to him. “Me too. I’m so sorry, baby. Forgive me?” He asks as he nuzzled his face into my shoulder. “I forgive you.”
Months past by and it seemed like that fight sparked something between us. Everyday it was something new. We would scream at each other, swear. We broke up a couple of times but we always made up. But this one particular time, I got so upset I threw a plate on the floor which made him upset and broke some glasses. We both cut ourselves and the blood was dripping all over my kitchen floor. I leaned back against the wall and dropped down. “Why can’t we just talk?” I say in between breaths. Levi doesn’t respond. He sits opposite me and puts his face in his hands. “I don’t know.” He finally says. Glass pieces on our feet and hands, yet that answer cut me the deepest. I couldn’t take it anymore. We never said I love you anymore. We never talked without raising our voices at each other. The worst part was that we didn’t even move in with each other, this happened whenever we were at each other’s house. I take a deep breath and lift up my head to look at him. His face is still in his hands. I wake up and go to the bathroom. I open my medicine cabinet and get out the First Aid kit. I walk out and sit by Levi. I fix his cuts on his feet while I cry. I bandage him up and pry his hands away from his face. I don’t look at him while I remove some pieces from his hands and put some medicine on it. I put some band aids on his hands and start to fix my scars. Levi sees this and quickly starts to help me. He fixes my wounds and then we sit in silence. “What are we gonna do, Levi?” I ask him, voice barely above a whisper. He sniffs. “I don’t know.” He answers. I hated those words. There has to be something we can do. I wanted to fix us. I don’t want to lose him, he’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. Sure I cried myself to sleep sometimes, or not speak to him. Sometimes he would cuss at me and vise versa but we still loved each other. I still loved him. But that wasn’t enough. “I think..”, Levi starts to say, “I think we need to break up. For real this time.” When he said those words, I could feel my heart drop into my stomach. I was shocked. He was being serious and it made me ache. “Do you want to?” I ask him. He shakes his head. “No. I don’t want to. But”, he lifts his head up to look at me, “I think it’s what we need.” We both break down crying. My heart was beating so fast I felt I was going to have an attack. Levi cries while he pulls me into him. “We’re bad for each other, Y/n. I dont want it to be true but it is.” Levi tells me in between cries. “There has to be something we can do, Levi.” “We tried everything already, Y/n. We can’t just toss around “sorry’s” anymore. We can’t keep on hurting each other. This is bigger than us.” Levi says. “I love you, Levi.” I cried out while I hugged him tighter. His grip also got tighter. “I love you, Y/n. But it’s not enough, is it?” He tells me while he sobs into my shoulder. It was raining when we said goodbye. Not outside, but in my house.
We didn’t speak to each other after that. Years passed and I met someone else. I’m sure he did too. But that didn’t stop me from hoping that we would bump into each other again like we did all those years ago in the streets of Tokyo. That man had my heart and I had his. But we both broke it on that day. I still had his picture that I took on the day I met him, in my diary in the back of my drawer. I never looked at it, it would only bring me to tears. I tried to forget him, I really did. But how can you forget the one you thought you would spend the rest of your life with? The one you were so sure was meant to be with you? I prayed faith would bring us together.
Unfortunately, in the end, we just weren’t meant to be. No matter how much we tried to stay together, we always got torn apart. And now..there’s nothing in this world that could bring us back to each other. Perhaps, in another life, maybe just maybe, we might just get a chance.
———————————————————————
“This came out longer than expected. Nevertheless, I hoped that you enjoyed it. I’m just doing some small works while I wrap up LJaG and Mr Ackerman. Thanks for reading.”
-Caddy.
#levi ackerman x reader#levi ackerman#snk#aot#attack on titan#shingeki no kyojin#aot fanfiction#captain levi#rivai ackerman#angst#aot levi#levi angst#levi ackerman fanfiction#levi attack on titan#modern au#i cried writing this
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I ship muren and li cheng bc i only saw it through gifs then i watched this episode cos i was like im only starting this show if they kiss im waiting and they did and it was nice and i got so anxious that i was about to fucking vomit. I really like them together. The top/bottom shit is dumb and i hope if they must mention it they all build a bridge and get over it so they can switch cos who gives a shit. I didnt realize how large they all are like most “tall” men on tv are lying. But bc that kid is so thin and tall and the other one (idk the stepbrother) is huge too. Li cheng is shorter than them both but more ~manly~ but still short so why doesnt he take a DICK UP HIS BUTT XD since that’s all that fucking matters and there’s only 2 genders and 2 eays to have sex lmao so nothing else otherwise ur screwed
Hd a terrible past couple of weeks personally and because i keep seeing my peopl eget murdered and things ripped from us ^_____^ anyway here’s Some libertatrian communist dumb bitch discoars so i’ll tag it:
keep in mind these are my opinions’”” when i engage in discourse. I am not the end all be all and I don’t need you to agree. There’s some shit I am non-negotiable on but thsi is just exchanging of information. Any authoratative tone I take on comes from my beliefs, my life, my experiences, and what I choose to cultivate as a person and an artist. I dont have control over your feelings, you do. If it hurts you then either tell me the issue and be PRECISE about it, understand that context matters which is why i type so much in engagement, and do not fucking lie or misconstrue my words. Do not call me western ever in your life either. I am a black-american. I have adhd and bc i am a black woman if ur automatically thinking im brolic i am accepting money in my paypal for ur wellbeing to get me to shut the fuck up.Thanks.
The stepbrothers storyline is stupid and lazy writing. I really want to counter people that say it’s written well and that it’s interesting because it isn’t. Even if it was illicit and fucked we can write a story out about this. Let’s rethink what they could have done shall we:
- become stepbrothers at about 16 and their parents mismanage the relationship and they fail in trying to get an integrated family together (this is what happened in the #iconic transit girls and that was fuckin’ weird but hey dude guess what we watched it and it was weird but not unethical and we know one is like 19 and the other is 21 and a girl so it’s like wow you avoided so much and handled their stepsister story very…….um lightly given the end lmao but it was there and people had AGENCY)
-OR you realize that freak is obsessed with him and then he realizes it and is like “bitch i swear to god” and in typical shtity trope BL fashion they can find a way from obsession, to loss and independence when you lose your obsession, to “love” if they choose
- have the fucked up shit but make it clear what the issues are and you literally cannot write your way out of it so do not try
But why can’t fucked up things be shown? Also this is realistic.
0. Well according to you but no one said that they can’t. So that’s on your interpretation of critique (that is, again, not bullying or harassment.) They can, i just gave plenty of scenarios in which it is affective and not just annoying to witness, trope-y, and frankly ridiculous and offensive. Sorry! They don’t do it well. You can come up with alternatives too. See #2 btw.
1. No it isn’t doing a good job of reflecting life because life has consequences. The exaggeration in drama doesn’t mean the arc shouldn’t be there. Almost always things that aren’t heavy with the message or meant to be sobering in a deep way are COMPELLING. The realism is the basis for art because we are human. This is not the way real humans act.
Someone said Tharn Type was mature and I had to laugh because no, no one acts that way and is “in love” if they act that way that means they fucking hate each other and they’re immature and frankly it’s just not that interesting for many of us to watch because the dramatization of the “realism” is fucking bonkers. That was such poor writing it is unbelievable and someone has the audacityt o say it’s how real adults act. Fucking murder me if I’m with someone for 7 years and we break up over a miscommunication and for some reason I am not as horny as my always horny boyfriend. The fuck? What kind of lives do you lead? Either you are not an adult or you are an adult who needs therapy.
I also hear the “realistic” argument but then people try and temper it with “but also it’s fiction.” What do you think fiction is? Why do you think filmmaking exists? Number one, it’s propaganda in the sense that you want others to buy into your presentation and see what you see. That means that the creators are telling people and influencing them WITH ART BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT IT IS about their feelings around a situation. That’s why it is imperative to be responsible as a filmmaker and artist and underline the deepness of creepiness if that’s what they want. If they want to relay that rape sometimes ok and psychos are crazy so they get boy (??!?!?!? BITCH?) then they achieved it with no innovative information. We know people get raped bc we are human beings and many of us live with that fear. You know, being the target demo and all. And bc BL loves that trope it’s rape fantasy peddled to young people and women. Just like shitty wattpad fics or NYT best sellers. Hooray, what now? Or are you trying to purport that this isn’t glorified fanfiction? Which it literally is
2. This is the issue with these shows. No one is saying that fucked up shit cannot be shown. There’s a film about a woman who is raped and she falls in love with her rapist (because he was masked but i think we find out later that she knows. Binoche is in it.) I have no desire for that film—i think it’s by a man and i extra dont care—but I hear it’s sort of powerful for many. I heard it was a good film. But the act itself is always eschewed and the conflict comes from how fucking ridiculous it is especially finding out that she knows. The power imbalance adn the possibility. They may not have handled it in a way I would have cared for but it was there.
There’s simply no imagination because these people do not care that much and aren’t great writers and filmmakers because they simply do not have to be. Sorry.
The industry doesn’t rely on the best they rely on efficiency (this is everywhere.) You can tell by the camera angles, the editing, the camera itself (idk if it is multicam but the flatness is typical soap flatness without the glowboxes to soften their faces.) Simple constant lighting. Now the surroundings are mostly beautiful. But even to some of the costumes. And those edits are abysmal, some of that camera work.
So with all that said even with the couple I extremely enjoy I see its (H4) faults. Add into that a lazily thrown together “shocking” love and if they are trying to get us to feel a type of way about its sexiness they fail. This is why movies like 50sog, 365 days, etc aren’t enjoyable to people because it’s fucking strange situations that they dont want to entangle or make enjoyable to viewers across the board. They know what people will take. It’s just that bitch what are we here for if even the sexiness isn’t there for ur stupid story.
At least with that teenager and 30 yr old man in MODC (which i do not love but i like them in theory if it wasnt totally repulsive to me and also if it was developed in a way that was good TO ME) they had their, er, “sex appeal” i talk about this as well the main couple in MODC to me, visually, was a miss. Not bc whatshisface was small and stuff but bc he was so sickly and they needed that to propel the story but it was just not appealing given how the story progressed. A missed opportunity in tying the two together besides making him look waif-y and sickly only to have the “did ur mom die in a car crash? No, cancer” type of move in not another teen movie. But the opposite. And not funny. Wayne tho????? GORL. Eggs. Cracked.
fandoms have a very warped sense of harrassment and discourse.
Most fandoms have harassers who are “protecting” the cast and crew who don’t need their protection (or maybe the crew does since they probably dont get paid well but why the fuck would anyone care about that lol) but very few have the people who have concerns or massive critique about the show are not going to be “bullying.”
If people are saying “if you like xyz, u suck” then sure it may suck for you to see but who fucking cares. Either talk to the person or don’t be friends with them. That is not bullying or harrassment. Things that are shitty get criticized. Fuck, things that aren’t shitty don’t. Get away from this idea of cancel culture and people misunderstanding the story. We have the ability to.
Think beyond your noses of personal preference. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them.
And guess what? You won’t like everybody. Many people can’t stand me i’m sure. Oh well. I mean frankly I don’t like that and I feel very unsettled when I don’t feel understood. That’s ok! I have to temper it. Sometimes calm myself down. I won’t get anything and everything I want. And you won’t like every opinion and sometimes it’s like “man am i a dummy?” But the part of growing up is fucking maanging that and beng honest about “bashing and harrassment” and “bullying” and growing up. Yuo can like what you want the “let people like what they want thing” is so fucking juvenile and THAT is not the real world. Which is probably why so many people feel that way, they dont want to live in the real world. Unfortunately, you do.
Think beyond our noses of personal preference and what we feel emotionally in conjunction with others. You don’t have to convince people of what you believe. And you can say things that you believe to be true but it doesn’t make them so or maybe it isn’t received that way to people. And many times we learn new things in the discussions “oh shit i didn’t see it that way” right? Discussing it is good but critique is not bullying, harrassment, or hate. Neither is fucking roasting shit because even this shit I like (manner of death lets say) deserves it. Art is meant to be critiqued and if you dont fucking like the bullshit people make then say it. They know stupid stories like this are scandalous and they don’t give a shit in how to present them. Usually the “opposition” in these situations aren’t the popular beliefs that permeate through society. Trust me lmao
Antiblackness
Antiblackness is a thing. It permeates everywhere. It permeates in this genre and it permeates in fandom. Get it the fuck together. Also do not conflate cultural relativism with being repsectful. They are not barbarians, they are smart human beings either making work or deciding to. We all have diff cultures but we have fucking sense in what is respectful and not. And if we don’t we fucking learn. You cannot excuse things and say “oh culture” when you have 0 idea of that culture or actual people who are radical etc and are fighting against it. Additionally the word westerner is an ignorant term when referring to people in the US or UK who are black. Because we are not. We extend sympathy to other groups and empathy since we know so there is no inherent power imbalance between a black viewer and their subject. Don’t suggest that because it’s wrong and ahistorical and contextless.
FIRST the fallacy of representation as freedom makes people fucking complacent, individualistic, and doesn’t let them think critically. Consumption and discourse around consumption is not helping material conditions of the marginalized communities in your home, the black ones who are ignored, those intersectionalized in these communities. Groups talk about art and what it means for them outside of just what we see and because we also don’t have access to a bunch of Thai reviews or what movements or going on we are less likely to know if we don’t FUCKING SEARCH for it. Because art is constant...which leads me to....
Representation is difficult. It matters and it doesn’t.
Tthese shows are not meant to overturn the LGBTQ+ community.
There are queer filmmakers and artists in these countries. Deep illustrious film careers or even TV that is moving and deliberate. We can even see it with the dude from “your name engraved” in their short series he was in beforehand. BL is no wa pejorative because it is simply not “qu**r” storytelling whatever that means. But know it has always existed everywhere and there are also out artists or radical artists in all these countries who do no respect mediums that are cash-grabs and poorly made.
ex: As much as “Like in the Movies” sort of isnt for me and is a bit hamfisted you can tell how much love goes into that. Love of the characters, acting, and message. Yes it’s cringey to see some of the lines (like very tbh subtlety wasnt exactly their strong suit) and yea naming them after lenin and marx is just 0ihgoaudgijposkagjihou BUT GUESS WHAT? THEY FUCKING DID IT. THEY TRIED. And class was a large component as well bc u cant fuckin ignore it. The show is aware of the machinations in its world as a show but also in the philippines and for a fuckin reason. And duatarte? Loooooooool so like yea not so sure bl makes him love his ppl but the show isnt trying to do that
It’s not a transgressive genre and it has no reason to be. No ethical anything under the way we live it’s just trying your fucking best to be. That’s it. They serve societal ills and capital’s purposes. Which is fine but it is not revolutionary.
These countries in SEA or even SA do not have as big budget for even mainstream dramas—though things are changing and that’s bc REVENUE like revenue from kpop is fucking huge for SK and again so much about that is bc of what happened in their history from japanese imperialism to WWII to the US—so for “queer” stuff it is sort of now important to make that an export and it sure is one. Not only globally or to the west but a lot of these places make their money within asia (duh!) outside of their countries. OBVIOUSLY. so BL is a way to output and gain money. The thing is, it doesnt seem to be put back into the industry at all. For people in all these countries to make works that aren’t for mainstream or wont reach as many people there’s a difference between trying and just shoving shit in your face and going here it’s gay you like it right? But dont antagonize the inherent patriarchal nature of BL.
Another thing: did you guys know thailand was never colonized? You should look it up. There’s little hints of things in ITSAY to represent french influence still. Isnt that fascinating? Find out why. It’s certainly interesting that the representation, though damaging and dubious many times and also incorrect like any media, is huge in asia and this isnt a commodity here (the US) exactly. A lot of that has to do with colonial ideas of gender of which I am sure. But listen………lmao
Sometimes people dont give a shit. And it very much shows. Here is the thing once again. GOOD TRANSGRESSIVE WORK exists.
Een within the capitalist Bs paradigm or you can see people trying (I can sort of applaud parts of lovely writer) also queer media has always existed everywhere the reason you don’t know about it is because it gets takena nd commodified into a mainstream product. We hvae little incentive, particularly if we are not fans of cinema or art in gen, to search fror others when the output is right here. Being dictated by others and the state and who will give you money. No longer an effort of a cast and crew who want to convey things. But google [any country] independent cinema, radical cinema, queer radical cinema, or even retrospectives on the cinema and rethinking what is queer and radical in film. What if we took that, diluted it, got rid of the creators who put themselves through all the work, ignroe al the nuances and do……………….two actors who are conventionally attractive with no chemistry making out.
It’s the same here lets say daniel kaluuya winning the oscar for the film about the BPP. I heard it was okay and not too offensive but it still isnt’ enough. It still isn’t like hwood isn’t trash, nnati black, misogynistic towards BW and women, and all that other shit. It was pushy but it can’t be enough where we are. Black KKKlansmen i think won an oscar, by circumstance i fuckin hate these award shows they mean nothing, and i like the film a lot but he has his misogynoir still resting in his films even if it is poignant. And it was a film that honestly wasn’t really made for black people. And should all art be a response to direct trauma or trying to make ourselves palatable when we’re just human?
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ and it’s importance (capitalism) but also sorta individual responsibility
Considering a lot of these actors are rich and then just dip that’s another problem. Mainstream isn’t what sustains marginalized art ever. It doesn’t change in the vast ways we think it does. What changes is the people of these groups pushing, fighting, forcing and then capitalism trying to make it work under capitalism. It will not. It cannot.
This is why artists and labels often don’t mix or you see people like Sonic Youth doing whatever they want and pissing off their label but making them give them money. Same with Nirvana. Vince Staples. The thing is they can fight and make good shit but what capitalism helps people….not care? They don’t respect the audience? We’re getting those returns on poor executed product placement, lighting, editing, framing, fucking acting. And you surewon’t see mixed black asians in these shows. WHY R U is the oNLY one i have seen it in and he just disappears (but that was pretty cool.) so who the fuck is this representing? And before you start: asian countries are not homogenous the way we believe them to be. There are marginalized communities outside of even mixed people that are harmed. So you can skrrt cause on that one: you’re wrong buddy. But it gives us the IDEA of a paradise which is what they NEED.With representation and visibility comes consequence and responsibility as artists. What it allows them to do is coast and not think complexly because why should they; it’s mostly the fantasies of some older woman who probably has money and much less interaction with the world. It’s bonkers. And what that allows even further is for them to say YOU ARE THE THING THAT YOU CONSUME and the THING THAT YOU CONSUME IS YOURS. It is not, it is not your identity, form a close bond but figure it the fuck out. Especially for adults who are hellbent on twisting their minds into pretzels and can’t acknowledge what’s just laziness in art and not giving a fucking shit. Truly.
There’s damage that has been done from Parasite as he was supported by CJE&M and the bullshit obsession america had and eveyrone’s poor interpretation of it if they are rich. BJH is a socialist and he is a filmmaker. He has made films that are outstanding and cost a lot of money. But now a fear for indie filmmakers is just not being able to raise that much or have that much attention. Getting funding that helps them instead of expecting the Next Big Thing that is a fad because capitalism is trash. Yes this funneling of money is absolutely harmful to us artists. Even buying in is strategic. Additionally, that film is probs one of the most radical films to have that wide release and accolade (unlike “Sorry to Bother You” which i have a lot of thoughts about. One being that asian exports are acceptable but black ones are not. This is an overall art critique and global media critique. Blackness is removed, not respected.) However, filmmaking isn’t green, it can’t be socialist, and it’s a lot of work. They used tons and tons and TONS of water to do a huge beautiful feat but we still know there is a cost. We have to figure that out because it shouldn’t be. It doesn’t go back into the crew’s pockets the way it should and the work becomes that of the director’s and actors solely. It’s fucking hard. We have to do our part but it doesn’t mean we are doing it perfectly. We just have to try to do better. So does BJH cos he needs to not be a misogynist but anyways i digress.
additionally and this is something some users fail to understand: people in the media sphere generally have fucking money. I went to film school that was international with super fucking rich kids. Taiwanese kids, kids from south asia, china, thailand. They had money. No not upper middle class money, not “rich” money, not some paltry 1m that’s chump change. Fucking money. Fucking RICH-RICH. MILLIONAIRES. BILLIONAIRES. WHICH IS DISGUSTING MIGHT I ADD. The domestic people didn’t have the money for school (in the UK) and i am in a massive amount of debt like every other black student that went there. You do not understand how much money is needed to survive so people who turn to these crew positions even casting etc need this fucking money usually. OKAY. A lot of the people that do well in these dumb shows or even on a larger scale HAVE MONEY. The reason these industries are small and struggling is because of lack of people and lack of resources to independent shit because oh gee it takes money to make things.
Why should I try? Well you don’t have to really if you have money or a name. Yet...
We can tell when like those Tik Tok shows or DCOMs dont give a shit (anymore.) You know how frustrated we get when content for young people is garbage? Well, see, BL is literally that under that system. Occasionally we will get something good now but there is virtually no need in any sector in the world at this point to truly figure out how to make it better and what to do to enhance artistic literacy, outreach, teaching people new things, getting people from these communities there and having true realistic says. Art and culture is IMPERATIVE TO WORLD LIBERATION but not when it is so stiffly trying to bend to capital’s idea of progressiveness. No. Neoliberalism. No.
That’s why in a way ITSAY is a huge feat; it takes from films etc and they clearly had money (the actors rae rich too which….lmaooooo j’aime pas) but it was a respected fucking script, acting was important, blocking, framing. There’s very little to critique as a visual medium for that because I understand what they are trying to do, their market is going to be mostly young girls, but they RESPECT THE FUCKING AUDIENCE. And guess what guys? You can make money from it!!!! WOAH! Since that may be the only goal which is disgusting and repulsive.
HOWEVER AND THIS IS WHAT IS SAD: itsay is an ex of a great show however knowing the actors backgrounds and the pseudo trouble it stirred when they weren’t supporting people protesting against the coup in the summer it really put a damper on my enjoyment. And this is how we can see that:
a) it’s honestly just a show and a good one but b) now what?
These kids (actors, who are like idk 19? 20?) are rich and not saying anything while countless actors, who were filming, did. Even tul who has $$$$ and the thing is the protesting against the coup legitimately attacks the rich. As it should. The protests going on were cries for help, against a dictatorship and fucking coup, asking people to get fucking help for covid, having kids be able to live. There’s a mini on VICE about this and it probably doesnt go too in depth but there’s a kid in there who talks about his friends getting into drugs and how he just wants to make music, have fun, skateboard. And it’s harrowing to see. This is a direct example of what these things do and don’t do. Yea we know a good show is here, we know growing up and slice of life, we know this is a bit of escapism and idealism but the idealism is reflected in the way these actors also choose to live their lives. So what progress? To who? For who? How is this helping me? What purpose does it serve? I say ITSAY serves its purpose as a piece and a glimpse into possibility of growing up but i do not say it antagonizes a broader issue that needs to be relevant in some sense but simply is not. It’s very singleminded and, well, it’s sort of like “besides my sexuality, what do i have to worry about?” But for real humans like....a lot. I do not respect their decision at all.
Why can’t we do our jobs and make something decent and respect our audience? No time, gotta make that sweet sweet sweet cash baybee. Look how progressive we are! Don’t look at history and material conditions. Thanks in advance, management.
History 4 does not have that respect. Many of these shows do not. Sometimes we hit good, sometimes we don’t. But in the end we cannot settle. And I won’t. If I am critiquing something I will not be shy and if I am meant to enjoy something as escapism then these shows NEED to highlight that and it’s rare sometimes (the best twins is a good reminder like that show is bad but man do i Brain Empty when i turn it on and i like that and there’s not much in it that makes me want to kill myself from annoyance but there are transphobic jokes i dont love however the whole show is a comedy about this dude’s crazy homophobic sister and she is constantly positioned as wrong and they talk about the aforementioned trans women as the actor was in drag. Interesting that they can manage that, huh?)
Oh btw.....taiwan has a very complicated history but ignore all the bad stuff it’s good now you can kinda sorta get married and stuff. KMT? You know how i learned that? I care about human beings and read about it lmao. I am not Taiwanese and look at that. So now I have historical and DIALECTICAL~**~*~****~*~*~ context so i can judge it as an artist, a black woman from america, and from the knowledge i have to pick up on their history to see if this fits into a broader picture besides the micro-one of sexuality on an individualized level. And this is kinda where it comes full circle: these shows are not you, you are not them, they do not exist in a vacuum because nothing does. The failure to critique now means continuing on as it has and it will still do so. History and time are not linear in the sense we think it is. Someitmes things are better, sometimes things feel more austere. We are not living under liberation though and these shows are not going to do so. So they are not US nor are they for a nebulous “us” of which the groups are all fractured and have diff opinions anyway (my opinion as a black american is going to vary from an asian woman’s say and that could really clash and i do not feel solidarity with all those in every community i am for several reasons.)
Final thots that have taken up my time and the only thing i actually wanted to write but got distracted:
Anyway my dissertation is that I ilke Muren and LiCheng a lot a lot and i like how cute they are and how truly dumb li cheng is. This is an example of mostly good writing, decent actors, nice chemistry, and sort of a calmness to them. And I super enjoy how Muren is pretty forward with LC in the sense that being together is like very important to truly be together. When he was like “no i didnt forget!” Or when LC asked him something in the office I forget it was 6 am and again i almost threw up and muren nodded and then LC leaned on him. Very cute. I want more of them tho i may have to skip that othre couple (the cameo the ones from MODC) but omfg the younger one HIS HAIR GREW SO MUCH HE LOOKS SO MATURE AND CUTE OMFGIJ0HUG9SAOGIJPKOAGJSIOHUAGIJP hahhaha the one good thing i will say about THEM.idk how old the actor is i figure he was young idk it makes me happy to see him he’s very cute. I hope he’s in something i can watch and not gag at. Is he hot? Who knows but he is a cutie!!
Anyway muren and lc have a good thing going it’s nice to watch ho\pe they dont fuck it up but im truly a sucker for some true finds 2 luvas i think some user on her\e was like i’m not a fan of friends ot lovers bc it doesn’t seem like they’re actually friends and maybe they were referring to this show idk. But it made me think and it was a very good observation. So i think they are friends and also luvrs <3
#history 4#history 4: close to you#i told sunset about you#a thot#tharntype#lovely writer#bl fandom#idk#lol#long
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Not My Style...
[Chapter List HERE]
Basil tensed as the door opened, he hadn’t been expecting his new guardian to burst in so quickly, and truth be told, he was terrified to officially meet him. Partly because he was afraid that there had been a mistake, that Mr. Rose had changed his mind, and partly because... he now looked very different than the last time they had spoken.
“Oh. You’re looking well.” The gentleman in the suit smiled at him, though Basil could see the confusion on his face. “That’s a lovely haircut.”
“Y-you’re not mad..?” His voice trembled, he could hear Oleana’s voice echoing in his head, telling him that Rose would never love him if he went through with it, that ‘he adopted you for a reason, and you’re not a little boy so quit trying to act like one’.
“Mad? Of course not, dear.” His voice was gentle, soothing, and as he knelt down the confusion cleared from his face. “Now then, there’s the matter of your name.” His smile never faltered. “What would you like me to call you?”
Basil’s cheeks flushed red. He hadn’t expected this sort of response. “Basil, sir...” He looked down at his feet, still nervous.
“Basil, what a fine name. Welcome home, son.” He wiped the tears that started to fall, and pulled the boy into a hug.
He couldn’t keep himself from crying. He was home...
Kabu hadn’t heard anything from Basil for a few hours, and though he wanted to give Basil his space, he was worried that something had happened to him. He finished his training and let his Pokemon wander, kissing his Growlithe’s nose. “There’s a good boy... good job today.”
The Growlithe licked his cheek and bounded away to play.
He could hear a familiar tune coming from Basil’s bedroom, and his door was cracked open slightly. Kabu assumed this was an invitation to pop in and say hi, so he stuck his head in. “Hey, kid. You about ready for dinner?”
Basil was sitting at his desk by the radio, looking in a mirror, gasping and almost falling over when Kabu started to talk with a scream. “NO!” He scrambled away, putting as much distance between them as he could, feeling terror rising in his heart.
“Oh! Basil I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you I-- are you wearing makeup?”
Basil started to cry, babbling out apologies and begging Kabu not to hurt him. His hands went to his face, trying to rub off the makeup and smearing it. He screamed again when Kabu’s hands wrapped around his wrists and pulled them away gently.
“Basil, Basil shhh... It’s okay, it’s alright I’m not going to hurt you...” He soothed. “Don’t rub at your face, that’s terrible for your skin, it’s okay...” He kept calming him until he was sure he could let go of him, then handed him his cane and led him down to Kabu’s bedroom. He sat Basil down on his bed and dug through his bathroom doors till he found some makeup remover wipes. “These won’t irritate your skin.” He smiled and started working to wipe away the smeared eyeliner.
Basil sniffled. “You’re not mad..?”
“No, honey, why would I be mad?” Kabu assured him.
“B-because I’m a boy...”
Kabu chuckled. “There’s nothing wrong with that, dear. I wear makeup sometimes too, when I go on TV.”
“Really?” Basil pulled away from the wipe, looking for any sign he was lying.
“Well of course, gotta look nice and young and pretty for the young ladies.” He winked and that made Basil giggle a bit.
“You’re weird, Kabu...”
Kabu smiled, thankful that Basil was no longer afraid, and worked on getting the rest of the makeup wiped off. “I’m sorry I scared you. I should have knocked. Do you want me to help you put your makeup back on?” Basil shook his head. “Is there any way I can make this up to you?”
He could see Basil thinking, considering this question. “Let me do your makeup?”
“Oh?” He grinned at that. “Would that make you happy?”
Basil nodded. “I want to do your makeup.”
“Hey, was that Piers you were listening to up there? I think he has a concert tomorrow. Would you like to go? We can make a day of it.”
Basil gasped. “What? Really? You’d let me go see Piers?!”
Looking at him like that, Kabu would have let him do anything. “Of course we can go. Whatever you’d like.” He crawled up into bed and pulled Basil up beside him, leaning back on the headboard. “Whatever you want to do.”
Basil yawned and leaned against him. “Kabu..?” He hesitated, he was still nervous to say something to make him mad. He didn’t want to lose another guardian. “Why does Bede hate you so much? He said you were mean and that you hurt him...”
Kabu felt a pang of guilt. He had forgotten. “Well... you see... I made a mistake. Bede... did too. He broke into my gym and tried to steal my gym badge because he was worried about fighting me.” He gulped. “I caught him, and lost my temper. And I may have... well... hurt him. A little bit.”
“Bede said you called him a brat and spanked him.”
He cringed. “Yes. That... that is what happened. I lost my temper with him and I shouldn’t have done that.”
Basil sat quietly for a while, and Kabu was afraid he was afraid again.
“Are you gonna do that to me if I do something wrong?”
“No. No, I shouldn’t have done that to him either. And I didn’t know about... what you two were going through.”
Basil let out a small whine. “He told you about Oleana..?”
“He told me what she did to him. I’m sure she hurt you too.” He soothed.
Basil nodded. “My leg... she would hurt my leg if I did something wrong... and... she’d hurt us if we tried to tell Rose... and he didn’t believe us anyway...”
“I believe you. And I believe Bede, too. We’ve put aside our differences, now that we’re co-workers.” He promised. “I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never hurt him again. I swear.”
Basil closed his eyes and laid his head against Kabu’s chest. “Okay...” He practiced the breathing exercises that Kabu had taught him, and within minutes he had dozed off completely.
Kabu laid him down in his bed, tucking him in softly. His hands shook, he couldn’t get the look Basil gave him out of his mind, so fearful, so hopeless... He’d do anything to never see him look like that again. He closed the door and let him sleep, moving to the couch. No point in moving the boy, he looked so comfortable.
************
Kabu let Basil sleep in the next day, and made pancakes for breakfast.
“Kabu...? Is something wrong? It’s so late...”
He smiled at Basil, waving with the spatula. “Good morning! Pancakes?”
Basil sat down at the table, and eyed them hungrily. “These aren’t healthy...”
Kabu chuckled. “I know. It’s okay to take a self-care day every once and a while!” He laid a plate down in front of Basil and had one for himself. Basil scarfed down the pancakes hungrily. “These are so good!” He gave a few pieces to his Scorbunny too, which made Kabu laugh.
“Are you boys excited for the concert today? I’ve heard it’s gonna be killer...”
Basil nodded happily. “Piers is so cool! He’s like... my hero! His music is amazing and his Pokemon are so cool! He’s amazing!”
Kabu happily let Basil control the day, picking all the things they did and even letting him do his makeup before the show. Basil let him look, only after he was done, and laughed out loud at himself. “I look ridiculous!”
Basil blushed. “You don’t like it..?”
“It’s not my style, but it looks lovely.” He promised. Basil had given him thick black eyeliner and pale white makeup, and dark black lipstick, and quickly did the same for himself.
Once he was ready, the two made their way to Spikemuth for the concert. Basil had never been and took in the city with wide eyes. “Oh wow...”
The concert was just as intense and amazing as Basil had hoped it would be. He watched Piers on stage, starstruck by how confident he was. When the concert was over, he wished it could go on forever.
“Well? What did you think?” Kabu smiled down at him.
“It was... amazing...” He smiled back, leaning on his cane. “Piers is so cool..!”
“You wanna meet him?”
“What?!”
“Come on!” Kabu pulled his sleeve gently. “Let’s go backstage!”
“You don’t know him! We can’t go backstage!”
“Says who? Come on!” He smirked.
“Oh my God Kabu no! You’re gonna embarrass me in front of Piers don’t!” He was pulling away from Kabu but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. The two mean looking doormen took one look at Kabu and moved aside when they got there.
“See?”
“That doesn’t mean anything! You don’t know Piers!”
Kabu just laughed and pulled him backstage.
Piers was leaning against the back wall, chatting with his foul-mouthed band members with a sneer, but when he looked up and saw Kabu his whole demeanor changed. He stood up straight and gestured for his band-mates to scram before approaching with a genuine smile. He bowed respectfully.
“Master Kabu...”
Kabu couldn’t hide his grin, pulling him into a hug. “Piers... you did so great up there... as always.”
“I didnt’ know you were coming or I would have played something more mellow for you!”
Basil looked from one man to the other, jaw dropping. “What the fuck..?”
Kabu spun around then. “Language, young man!”
Piers laughed out loud, clinging to Kabu’s arm to keep himself upright. “And who’s this funny little dude?”
Kabu introduced them, and Piers could tell he was a fan. He shook Basil’s hand and signed an album for him before sitting down with them to talk.
Basil watched with starry eyes as Kabu and Piers talked, reminiscing about the good ol’ days. Piers told him about how Kabu had taken him in when he was younger, and had helped him deal with his ‘young teen angst’ with music.
“Kabu got you into music? I don’t believe it.” Basil snorted.
“Who do you think taught me to play guitar?”
“Bullshit.”
“Language!” Kabu hissed and swatted gently at his arm, teasing more than anything.
“Come on Kabu, why don’t you play something for him!” Piers handed him a guitar.
“What? No, I haven’t touched one in years.”
“Please?” Basil asked sweetly.
Kabu sighed and took the guitar, and just like riding a bike, it all came back to him. He started to play, and once he got into it, he started to sing an old song. His voice was soft and a little gruff, but by no means bad. Piers grabbed his base and quickly joined in with a harmony, and Basil was moved by the sound. They sounded amazing together...
************
Kabu and Basil called it a night, and Kabu walked him up to his room, knowing his leg was starting to get sore from all the moving around. He tucked him in and kissed his forehead.
“Kabu? Will you sing to me?” He asked shyly. “You sing really nice...”
He blushed a bit at the compliment and sat on the edge of the bed. “Alright. Get comfy.” He smiled as Basil snuggled down into the blankets and reached for Kabu’s hand to hold.
Kabu held his hand and pet his hair while he sang a lullaby, and once Basil was asleep, he pulled the door closed softly and drug his own sorry tired butt to bed. His rotom phone was flashing on the nightstand, a message deemed important, but not important enough to look at tonight. It would be there in the morning.
#kabu#gym leader kabu#my precious baby basil#piers#sword and shield#dad kabu#implied child abuse#oleana#rose#basil is trans!#and don't you forget it!#hes a good boy!#and I love him#lmk if i need to tag anything else
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that’s ethan fell not max thieriot. he’s eighteen years old and a vampire. he may be + good-hearted, + athletic & + aware but he’s also - competitive, - short-tempered & - risk-taking.
honestly yall, leo just wasnt sparking joy. so, here we are.
ethan grew up with his twin sister, maya, and his mother. their father was never around but their mother worked hard to feed the family. bouncing between towns and opportunities. ethan was naturally gifted at football from an early age and became a scholarship prospect at an early age.
that was ethan’s plan to get into college and he practiced with his sister day in and day out. he only improved as he got older and was hopeful as they moved to san francisco because an administrative position had opened up for their mother. it paid relatively well and was in a hot bed for good colleges. it wasn’t a hard choice to make.
they made the move and ethan didnt see any negative effect. he was already planning to make the football team by seasons start.
that, to his despair, never came. between winter and football season, he saw several changes to his life. he met eliza cerrato, who he immediately bonded with. they quickly became friends, although he could tell she still held much of herself to herself. he couldn’t blame her, had spent all of his life growing aside maya who had similar coping mechanisms, and so he simply let it be. if she needed him, he was there. if she needed to talk, he would listen. but never at a push.
little did he know, the nature of eliza’s secrets were quite different than the ones he expected. his world became diluted with hers, the supernatural. the revelation came as a shock, naturally, but it also didn’t change anything in his eyes. as he saw, it was an unfortunate consequence of something she never asked for in the first place. ( she at the least had made that very clear. ) he didn’t see the harm in immersing himself in her world, her problems, if it meant she could confide in him.
as he brought himself further into her world, however, he also started to lose touch with his own. focus on football became focus on body swaps, drills were replaced by research and company at eliza’s side. he could tell it worried his mother but he assured her that nothing had changed. and, at the time, he really did believe it.
the crescendo to his ever increasing involvement in eliza’s world came when he could no longer separate it from his own. everything was ( relatively ) easy when he could catalogue supernatural problems and existence by relating them to eliza. but after an unfortunate incident involving barbara friedh, he found out he was just as much a part of eliza’s world as she had become a part of his. it was an honest misunderstanding. he thought she was trying to hurt someone, he was only trying to pry her off. but he pulled too hard, too fast, and all the pent up anger football and training used to ease came out at once. she died as he watched in horror.
when he came home later, buckled over with regret and pain, he would find that he too was cursed. he simply couldn’t take it. before the first moon ever came, he began doing research into body swaps. ( he knew he was a coward for it, but he didn’t want this. ) it was mostly pop folk lore, much like most of the things he’d found on the internet initially, but there were some helpful local legends.
at the end of the day, it was almost accidental. when he did get body swapped, it was because he went down the road of local legends. a few rumours and a few quid-pro-quo’s. he was finally approached by a coven of local witches willing to do it for free, having heard of him through the grapevine. they told him they wouldn’t change him, only wanted his co-operation in return and he thought it was almost too good to be true. he agreed and the deal was done.
they told him ( what he thought ) was everything. that he might feel the presence of the person who’s body this once was, but not to worry. that was normal. much like a heart transplant. his only request was a new body and they made it all seem so normal that when he settled into sleep ( that they assured him was absolutely necessary ) he woke up a different man. he saw it as a relief. he was significantly older than he had imagined, but it didn’t seem terrible. his new body came with a shiny new ring he was instructed, by note from where it lay beside him, to never take off. he assumed it was important, perhaps tied to his ability to stay in this body, so he obeyed. he was grateful, at the end of the day. his experience with all of this was local legends after all.
not, at least, until he realised he was hungry in a way he couldn’t describe. the sight of himself in the mirror shocked him, all red eyes and pointy teeth. he understands, now, why they had agreed to take him for free. they were ridding themselves of a problem. you weren’t allowed to kill just to see what happened. ( he doesn’t know if that’s what happened, but the not knowing is almost worse. because, as far as he can tell, the man who once occupied this body, as far as he can tell, is long gone. long dead. the crucial part of heart transplants is the donor is always dead. ) he feels like he’s stepped right into altered carbon ; residing in a body he’s paid money he doesn’t have for. magic, as they say, always comes with a price. he’s in dangerously over his head.
#apx:intro#this is a very delayed intro#but it also counts as an update for all the things i didnt do while he was leo#death tw#mentions of transplants
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