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cigarette-scented-hotel-rooms · 27 days

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Euthanasia made me cry in a hot topic 😀👍

#that song kills me #william woodiam #will wood #wii woo #wee woo #ugh i hate those two #wwatt #will wood and the tapeworms #wwattw #self ish #everything is a lot #in case i make it #euthanasia

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dreadark · 2 months

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that ivan loves till is the most obvious thing about them

but. does ivan know that…?

the ivan that regards his own feelings as shallow, the ivan that learned how emotions are expressed only from copying others… does he even know that the love he’s felt for so long is love? probably not. and part of the reason is the one he loves himself

because the easiest example he has of love is till's feelings to mizi. till outright calls it love, and ivan watches him so much he has to be aware of this and till’s love to mizi is totally unselfish, right. he doesn’t seem to actually want much from her—just that she's still there and still "mizi"

but ivan can't be satisfied with just watching he… wants. ivan wants till’s attention, till’s affection—

surely this selfish wanting can’t be love

...no wonder he was never able to express his feelings straightforwardly when he belittles them so much but he can’t stand not having anything either, so he does… whatever he does instead to get any scraps of attention he can, from someone he's convinced doesn't care about him at all only showing affection when till can't see it, right until he knows he's going to die

but ivan's feelings for till are all he still has of himself... to think of them as shallow...

I've seen this translated as "I should've been kinder" to him (till) or to her (sua)

but really, the one he should've been kinder to was himself

#alien stage #alnst #alnst ivan #ivantill #i have a lot of thoughts on till -> mizi too but this is long enough #just attempting to rewrite my twt rambles more coherently #idk why i wrote this so dramatically tho...#'thank you for being the victim of my shallow emotions' is going to haunt me to my grave #ivan's character is just a careful balance between his natural freak nature and his extreme depths of self-loathing #making him the most miserable guy ever #...really once you realize so much of what went wrong is thanks to ivan just hating himself too much to even think of them as friends. well #c...can we bring him back... don't die like this.....#(also you know. with the implications of how 'pets' are treated #wanting someone physically must feel... even more wrong

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fumifooms · 1 month

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I don’t like minimizing the importance and gravity of Laios and Toshiro’s fight into just being a childish squabble, even if to a degree it is framed that way, because to both of them it has a lot of personal significance and emotional weight and runs very deep to their characters… The fight isn’t nothing it’s a LOT, they made up but it’s not something easy to express and to get over for either of them which makes it all the more meaningful! I’m on both sides but there very much are sides, there’s no "they’re both having a ball, Toshiro and Laios hand in hand yay" side to the fight, that comes after

The fight with Toshiro WAS very scary to Laios, almost existentially so, but it’s moreso the "I thought I’d made a friend!!" bit and my god. My god actually

Like it’s not "just" about oh his friend liking him less than he thought, THAT IS SO MUCH. It’s a bond he thought he had being a lie it’s all the time and moments spent together either being a lie from his perspective or marred now looking back. It’s not only being upset at Toshiro for lying but upset at himself that he’s so easy to fool, it’s being upset that there’s something so wrong with you that you can’t even tell if your "close buddy" even actually likes you or not, it’s like. Holding my head. He can’t trust his own vision of events that happened do you see. There’s always this film of distrust that it could be a lie that should be there when he interacts with people there’s always this sense of cloak and dagger to expect backstabs out of nowhere because you CAN’T see it coming you CAN’T you CAN’T there’s something about you which makes it impossible so you CAN’T-

He’s so scared of not being able to read people. He knows it’s a weak spot he has, he’s always known. All of these bits are centered around social expectations and betrayals, the assumption that he doesn’t belong either in society or with other humans.

And Laios’ level of awareness is actually sort of complex to analyze, but it’s there, there’s how out of him and Falin he was the one sensitive to the ~aura of hatred~ he felt from the townspeople, there’s of course his nightmares whispering to him about the mocking looks, and how yeah actually he realizes that his gold stripper coworker was taking advantage of him. There’s of course the Winged Lion speech about his trauma and how he fundamentally mistrusts/dislikes humans to some deep seated degree, this distrust that he still keeps under control always. There’s how pre-canon he often wanted to suggest eating monsters but never worked up the courage to bring it up with the others. There’s how he gets across as stoic when he isn’t being enthusiastic…… We don’t know how aware and wary he is exactly in the moment but we do know he has some anxiety around social stuff, and looking back he does notice and aughh augh, the sense you have to hide yourself to not get hurt and be on your guard and shit and.

When you don’t know what to look out for and when to look out for it, the general ‘common sense’ of not always trusting people or noticing when someone’s messing with you becomes hypervigilance in social settings

"Man they really know what you hate huh". Being socially unaware literally plagues him, he knows, he knows it so well.

It’s so quick that it’s almost hard to digest how literal and blatant Laios summoning his monster to crush all the people who’ve hurt him is. His literal go-to coping mechanism for comfort in his literal monster-induced emotionally intense nightmares, saving him by taking away the upsetting element (the humans)

"Monsters are his coping fantasy, where they can whisk him away from humanity, all the hurt it’s caused him and its arbitrary rules" with the subtlety of a brick. Monsters are his comfort safe zone "because they kill humans" yes but no it’s because he pits them as the guardians against humans who to him are in the role of the agressors. To him they represent freedom from the shackles of what it means to be part of humanity, a fundamentally social species

#Fumi rambles #Was asked to post this but a lot of this is present in my shuro-Laios fight analysis from Laios’ pov #Bite sized fumi #Laios touden #Meta #happy nightmare chapter day #Character analysis #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #And humanity being a social species is ofc ultimately not shown as a negative.#Dunmeshi is about unity and coming together when seeking to understand that which you do not!!!#But yeah like imagine if you will that you can never really trust your own perspective of events because you literally can’t tell #Wether the person likes you or hates you and you just can’t tell. Even when they ARE being obvious about it #The nightmare scene is so real like I def have vivid memories where I’m like ‘Ah yeah they cringed here #that should have been a dead giveaway’. It wears on self-esteem and self-trust. Like “you don’t belong in society” in a way they’re #sorta like factually not wrong and like. Oh ok man. Sitting down #Just spitballing here obvi. Personal experience. Hey did you guys know that dunmeshi is good. Man. It’s good #Dungeon meshi #Analysis #Feeling The Owl House Gus meltdown episode in tha club tonight #Sobbing about how the flashbacks we see of Laios’ childhood are only happy when it centers around Falin or the dogs

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caitas-cooing · 2 years

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Reblog this post if you are professionally diagnosed and you support informed self diagnosis and you hate people accusing others of faking disorders when they have no evidence to support that

#I love self diagnosis #I hate fake claiming #I hate gatekeeping #actually autistic #actually adhd #actually disabled #doctors are expensive and not everyone has access #I'm lucky to have healthcare and doctors who care because lots of people do not #I'm irrated today but I'm gonna do my best not to lash out at people who don't deserve it #and try to direct it towards other things #so yeah

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nibbelraz · 5 months

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Warning! Warning! Character No longer Exists!

#svsss #shen qingqiu #Shen jiu #scum villian self saving system #scum villain #scum villains self saving system #scum villain's self saving system #been also thinking about Yue Qingyuans reaction to the system reveal #about him learning about how Shen Jiu is no longer here #how he's been with an imposter for so long #how he actually failed to save Shen Jiu and in a way betray him in a way by thinking this other guy was him #god im also thinking about the system calling him a character #how angry he'd be #a lot of fics have Shen Yuan scared that Binghe would be abgry that he read his story and just used him as entertainment #they have a happy ending so its ok but Yue Qingyuan???#he never #no matter which story or dimension #would be happy with Shen Jiu #i think shen jius love for Yue Qingyuan also sufficated him along with his hate #you know how it hirts when you think about the what ifs after you see what you could of had #Yue Qingyuan doesnt even get a good side to that its always a broken future #anyways this is why every fic that fixes that i thank you for crating a dimension that had him with a happy future #Creating*#my art #nibbelraz

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canisalbus · 4 months

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I really appriciate how often Machete is depicted struggling and feeling like a burden, while still being loved and supported by Vasco. It gives the top tier angst of "i'm not good enough, I'm not worth it" but you frame it in such a way where it's clear that's just how he *feels* and is not how things really are, but also it's so nice to see someone who struggles quite often in a loving and unique relationship that suits them. The narrative of not being able to love or be loved unless you're consistently healthy is really tiring lol.

.

#ah thank you! I'm so glad these themes come through the way I intended #this touches on something that I've been thinking a lot so sorry if this gets a bit ranty #but I have massive personal beef with the sentiment “you have to love yourself before you can love someone else/someone else can love you ”#I hate it with a passion #I know it's meant to encourage positive growth and I get that self-love and healthy self-image are something you should strive for #but it also sort of sends the message that people who struggle with these sort of issues don't deserve to be loved #not until they reach some external invisible standard of “okay I'm normal and well adjusted now”#“perhaps now I'm worthy of entering a relationship without the danger of dragging the other person down with me”#people who aren't in perfect health mentally or physically already feel like they're inconveniencing others with their mere existence #depriving them of the possibility or even the idea of loving and being loved won't make them better #it's just a stupid idiom it doesn't matter but to me it just comes across as unspeakably cruel way to think #and it rustles my jimmies #answered #anonymous

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wolf-2099 · 4 months

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I know a lot of self shippers hate canon x canon with their f/os, but shoutout to the self shippers who DONT. There's this sort of trend in self ship where ppl just assume you hate all canon ships with your f/os and... No? I don't think that's the sort of thing we should normalize when a lot of people like canon x canon.

Sometimes you see a canon/popular fandom ship with your f/o and go "I'm gonna get in between you two move over this is OUR relationship".

Sometimes you see a ship and go "I'm not romantically interested in the other character in this ship, just my f/o, but i still really love their relationship".

There is no wrong way to self ship, and if you like some canon x canon with your f/os then cool! I do too! Live your life and love your faves and the others who love them in canon.

#dragon's ramblings #i know a lot of ppl and myself included who hate the open vitriol and hostility towards canon x canon #so this is for us. if you dont like canon x canon then cool this post isnt for you move on #self shipping #self ship community

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retellingthehobbit · 7 months

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(Link here) Picture me with a conspiracy stringboard, a copy of the Unfinished Tales, and several essays about how LOTR/The Hobbit are meant to be flawed translations of ancient texts written by biased authors, and gesturing wildly as I explain how we can reinterpret The Hobbit as a funky little gay metaphor actually. we can do it. I believe

#the hobbit #retelling the hobbit #bagginshield #lotr #lord of the rings #dont you hate it when your first crush is actually super problematic.... aint that just the way #this is queerbaiting because at this rate it wont be canon in my comic until 84 years have passed in real life #this is bury your gays because thorin will still die in the end #there are obviously huge changes in my version vs ‘fanon bagginshield’#my version of Thorin is going to be a mix of book and film #somber and sympathetic like film Thorin #but a lot more haughty and self importsnt like book Thorin #just because I think it’s funnier

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cinnamonsikwate · 4 months

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"why couldn't shuro have just been honest about what he felt with laios and falin it's not that hard" are you. are you White

#dungeon meshi #shuro #toshiro nakamoto #look you can hate him for other things but this is very clearly a case of cultures (& personalities influenced by these cultures) clashing #shuro is japanese/east asian-coded and laios is european white boy #i am not japanese but i also come from a collectivistic society #pakikisama is a filipino value both prized and abhorred #it relies heavily on being able to read social cues and prior knowledge of societal norms #shuro being from a different country/culture is important to his character #his repressed nature is meant to contrast with laios' open one like that's the point #they both had similar upbringings but different coping mechanisms #shuro explicitly admits that he's jealous of laios being able to live life sincerely #anyway the point is they were operating on different expectations entirely and neither had healthy enough communication skills #to hash things out before they got too bad #re his attraction to falin i personally believe he unfortunately mpdg-ed her #she represented something new & different. a fresh drink of water for his parched repressed self #alas not meant to be #i'll be honest the way ryoko kui handles both fantasy & regular racism in dm is more miss than hit for me #i don't doubt that a lot of the shuro hate is based off of marcille's pov of him #marcille famously racist 😭#characters' racist views don't often get (too) challenged #practically everyone is casually racist at some point #anyway. again if you're gonna hate shuro at least hate him for being complicit in human trafficking & slavery #he couldn't help falling for the wrong woman goddamn 😭#calemonsito notes #edit: upon further reflection i take back what i said about toshiro mpdg-ing falin!#i'm sorry toshiro 😭

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iindigoeyed · 11 months

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i imagine felix explained to kagami that he was transmasc and she was like "you can do that? really?!" and then felix lent them his old binder and well, you get it.

bonus:

#miraculous ladybug #kagami tsurugi #felix fathom #felix graham de vanily #feligami #miraculous fanart #trans #kagami is also wearing his pants too ehehe #probably doesn't own any bc strict mother :( so she had to borrow his #my kagami is agender btw! they/she pronouns #This is so SO self indulgent. i have no regrets. Enjoy.#i hope you like t4t feligami. you will be seeing a LOT of it from me.#they are very precious to meee <333 #please nobody mention how terrible those pants are. I hated every moment of shading them.#god i am so sick of looking at this. Sorry for any obvious mistakes. i am very tired. i have been working on this for 3 days #tumblr please dont ruin my image quality i worked very hard for those crisp colors i'll cry #EDIT quietly fixes the panel where felix's sleeve is missing.........#indigarts

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bakubunny · 6 months

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twelve days of kinkmas: a little tradition (1)

part 2

a/n: starting the month with a little bakugo fluff. was gonna do aizawa smut first, but @neon-gothicc inspired this with her denki fic so here u go i hope u like it friend.

pairing: bakugou katsuki x f!reader

prompt: mistletoe

tags: pro!bakusquad, mention of alcohol, katsuki has anxiety, shy!reader, first kiss

see the prompts and join the fun here

If his plan didn’t work, Denki was a dead man. He knew that much. It was early December, and Eijiro and Mina were hosting the first holiday party of the year. After telling them his idea weeks ago when they’d announced the party, Mina had a mischievous twinkle in her eyes and Eijiro was all stupid romantic grins at the thought.

As the couple got decor in place, setting out food and drink for the event, Denki helped set up decorations by hanging things that were a little too high for Mina to reach on her own. When everything was ready and the clock struck seven, people slowly began trickling in as the party started.

Katsuki walked in the front door after Sero. He looked around the room, not noticing much at first. Then he saw it, and turned around to walk out. Sero grabbed him by the coat and pulled him back in.

“Oh, no Bakubro. You dipped on every holiday party last year. You’re staying,” he said.

Denki, the little fucker he is, hung a sprig of mistletoe over every single doorway in the apartment that Katsuki could see. The two blonde men locked eyes, one with a glare and the other a nervous smile.

Yeah, he was a dead man.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

You were in the main living area where most everyone was gathered aside from him and a few others playing a game of some kind, looking like a dream, and Katsuki didn’t know how to handle himself. He couldn’t pull his eyes from the pretty red nail polish that complimented your outfit. It resonated in his head, the way you laughed so genuinely at every one of Sero’s stupid jokes as you sat near him. He felt like he was going to be sick. At some point, Katsuki caught your eyes glancing at the doorways once you’d noticed the first one, but you’d seemed unphased.

Of course she doesn’t care, you fucking idiot, he thought. You’re the only one who’s bothered by it.

As the night dwindled on, every once in a while people would “follow tradition,” giving chaste kisses to their significant other.

He’d hardly spent time with you at all. Truthfully, he didn’t have the courage to.

You’d been on his mind for years, little bits of banter going back and forth as you worked at the front desk of the agency. But he never had the courage to ask you out on a date. It felt stupid; Katsuki had all the confidence and smooth talk in the world when he’d first become a hero, knew just what to say to charm the pants off of any person he wanted to fuck. Then he met you three years ago, and it all came to a screeching halt. His stomach got tight, his mouth went dry. He’d fumble things in his hands for no reason, feel his cheeks heat up whenever you spoke to him. He fucking hated it. His friends never shut up on it, either.

Katsuki noticed there was no one in the main entryway to the dining room where snacks and drinks were displayed, so he took his chance and managed to get through the entrance and then to the bathroom unscathed. He slumped down onto the toilet and started at the floor for a long moment. Red, tired eyes looked back at him when he got up to wash his hands.

“I should just fucking leave. Don’t wanna be here anyway,” he mumbled to himself.

Another knot tightly wound itself in his gut.

It was too loud. Everyone was getting drunk. And tonight, he just didn’t care. He knew his friends must have something up their sleeve, convinced that he gives a single fuck about you when he’s told them time and again that, no, he doesn’t. That they need to butt the hell out of his love life. Because if he were to admit to them that he did, they’d only get worse.

Katsuki also knew that if he ended up under the mistletoe with you, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to hold himself back.

‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊ ♡ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ·͙*̩̩͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩̥͙·̩̩̥͙*̩̩̥͙˚̩̥̩̥*̩̩͙‧͙ °̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥ ♡ ‧̍̊·̊‧̥°̩̥˚̩̩̥͙°̩̥‧̥·̊‧̍̊

“Just talk to him, honey!” Mina said quietly with a smile. “Or go take his seat. That’ll start something.”

Your face flared with heat; you’d been debating on approaching Katsuki all night. He looked miserable sitting across the room, but was engaged in other conversation for the most part.

“No, you’re crazy,” you replied.

You stood up and went to grab a glass of water from the dining area. Denki called out as you walked away.

“Hey, wait, can you get me-”

You ran into a wall of muscle with your head turned back to look the other way. Katsuki stood in front of you seemingly dumbfounded and not having noticed you either.

“Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!”

“‘S fine, you okay?” he asked quietly.

“Kiiiiiss,” Sero shouted from across the room.

“Yeah, it’s tradition. You have to, bad luck if you don’t,” Denki quipped.

One look up and sure enough, you were smack under the entryway.

You stepped back with a nervous laugh and met Katsuki’s gaze. “N-no, it’s okay.”

“C’mon, just a little peck,” Eijiro said.

Katsuki watched your cheeks flush, and the words came out of his idiot mouth before he could stop them.

“Dunceface is right, y’know. Tradition’s tradition,” he mumbled.

With a smile and a sigh, you relented. You pushed onto your toes to reach Katsuki’s cheek and kissed him. As you pulled away, two large hands grabbed your face. Katsuki kissed you hard enough to knock the air out of your lungs.

The sudden uproar of noise in the room faded in Katsuki’s head as he kissed you once, twice, and again. His heart hammered in his chest. By the second and third one, you were kissing him back. He almost couldn’t believe it.

For once, he thought, Dunceface had a pretty good idea.

sorry i forgot to add the tag list 🤦‍♀️

if you’d like to be added to my tag list, let me know. ♡

gremlins: @callm3senpaii @arlerts-angel @dcsiremc @darkstarlight82 @bookcluberror @neon-gothicc @zazter-den @breadandbutter33 @i-literally-cant-with-this @she-who-writes-for-multi-fandoms @rinalouu @stvrfir3 @r4td0lll @emmab3mma @aria-chikage @mhadabiandhawks4eva @yazminetrahan @doumadono @dreamcastgirl99 @maddietries @jazzafayesworld @karebear5118 @unofficialmuilover @cherriluvs35 @erensslut @ruu-https @hana-yuri @keiva1000 @katsul0vr @trickster-kat @ayeohoh-blog @dinomeow @flamgosstuff @mistressreaper @angelltheninth @anonymously-ominous @amberexe2 @hisconsistency @nanamisbigassschlong @223princess @pastelbakugou @gold24fish

#idk if i like this but it gave me fluffy feels so 🤷‍♀️#it’s giving slight ‘michael in the bathroom’ vibes #if u haven’t heard that song i like it a lot but it’s completely unrelated to this #I hc katsuki as someone who’s got a fuck ton of anxiety and self hate under all that anger #maybe it’s incorrect but it feels right #bnha fluff #mha fluff #bakugou fluff #Bakugo fluff #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katuski #bakugou x reader #x reader #bakubunny #f!reader #kinkmas 2023 #fluffmas 2023 #aged up characters

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useramor · 3 months

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sending my love from nowhere, usa

original poem - b.t.

#i think this actually did a good job at getting a lot of my emotions out rn #cried a bit writing this #i just wanna go home. something familiar. i hated it but i knew it. i didn’t realize the kind of comfort that brought until i didn’t have i #anyway pls tell me if u think is not dogshit and bad because i get self conscious posting poetry #poetry #original poem #my writing

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genericpuff · 4 months

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vent post

#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO #anxiety is a hell of a thing #and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever #i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up #and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken #but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship #i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it #i am cringe and i am free #self post #vent post #altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read #too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll #i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made #i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol #i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim #i think both things can be true #i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like #while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium #“perfectly balanced as all things should be”

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arthursfuckinghat · 18 days

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1899 Arthur Morgan, chronically exhausted, ill, afraid, and working himself to death trying to save what was left of the gang.

1911 John Marston, tired, frustrated, and running himself ragged trying to get enough help with taking down the last of the gang.

1914 Jack Marston, alone, depressed, and not stopping for anything or anybody until he avenges his father. He is the only true remaining tie to the gang.

Arthur didn't care strongly for revenge, but it was important to John, then it was important to Jack. Whether they realised it or not, they fed the cycle of revenge and damned themselves in the process.

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taborc · 11 days

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So do think Branch and Creek's related would be toxic at first or not all

Realistically, I think Branch would have a very hard time trusting Creek at first.

He would be petty, rude, and hostile before letting himself see Creek in the light of friendship. In general, Branch isn’t the kind of person to trust automatically. There would be some toxicity there, some resentment at first, but I believe he could allow himself to foster some sort of relationship (friends or more) just like he has with everyone else in his life.

My headcanon for Creek is that he has narcissistic tendencies, but truly did care for his friends before his own life was in danger. Fear makes fools of us all. I think he would regret what he did in some capacity, realizing that being alive - but alone - wasn’t worth it in the end. He would want to try and make it up to the trolls, even Branch, but doesn’t know the proper way to express his remorse. He knows Branch still doesn’t trust him, and there’s no foundation without trust.

#dreamworks trolls #trolls #branch trolls #creek trolls #trolls breek #trolls creek #breek trolls #my stuff #a lot of bickering and bringing stuff up from the past #I think Branch would be more hateful than Creek but Creek would try to make himself the victim out of self preservation #idk a lot of feelings about this

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evie-doesnt-write · 7 days

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The thing about Juriori is that I’m always fluctuating between ‘the toxic yuri ship ever, overshadowed Utenanthy in their own show’ and ‘they’re not even that bad, also they’re teenagers in the worst situation ever, cut them some fucking slack’

#the latter is because of those annoying people who make shiori the worst person to ever exist #free my girl she did all that but she’s a self-destructive self-hating queen and did nothing worse than the rest of you #and a lot of fans still act like she’s the level of akio #shiori takatsuki #juri arisugawa #juriori #rgu #revolutionary girl utena

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