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maevesdarling · 3 years

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Take me home tonight

Sooo, I decided to post chapter 1 of the story @unicorn-cloud and I have been cooking up for a while. This plays post series in an alternative universe. There’s mentions of gore and canon typical violence in both this and the second chapter, basically Walt is not dealing with things as good as he thought... I’m not sure how many chapters this story will have, probably around 3 to 4, also please be kind to me it’s been a long time since I uploaded my works to Tumblr, thx!

Chapter 1: The Call

Later, after he put his gun and badge down and moves further away from the border, Walt gets a call from an unknown number. He contemplates not picking up. It's been years since Kiki's death and operation Leyenda. He thinks, for a moment, that it could be Miguel Angel, calling him from his jail cell to taunt him, but no, he's not important enough to that man and besides, Miguel Angel doesn't wield as much power as he used to.

There are others. New players in this fucked up game, Walt knows that. He saw them rising on the horizon like a looming thunderstorm, ready to destroy the earth in it's path. But for now, he decided to enjoy his peace. His back's been bothering him more as of lately and he's got a few more grey hairs. He quit smoking about a year ago, after his doctor told him to do so. He's had a few setbacks since then, a half finished pack is always hidden underneath his kitchen sink, just in case he needs a fix. But overall, he's trying to stay away from the cigarettes and eat more healthy, even though the microwavable dinners at the supermarket look damn tempting, especially since it's only himself he's cooking for.

He's up in Colorado these days. The DEA was kind enough to leave him with a nice sum of retirement money, probably to shut him up after all the shit he pulled of during his career and to be fair he doesn't blame them.

He buys a nice enough house on the outskirts of town, with some additional property, a rundown barn and an old apple tree orchard that he has no plan on using. The weather's less hot, and there's a few lakes where he can fish, but otherwise, it's pretty much like any other town he's lived in. The dark red sandstones dotting the farmland remind him of Mexico. Of sitting in the hot sun and watching a small airfield in the distance, with a pair of binoculars in his hand. Sal's voice next to him asking about their next move. It's nostalgic in a way.

The first day, after he finished dropping off his stuff in the small, rundown house, he sets off to drive around, get familiar with the place. He finds a shabby bar, a small supermarket, a post office, a family owned diner and a few farms, with cows and hundreds of chickens roaming the surrounding fields, that sell local products. Over time, he ventures out further and discovers some more bars, supermarkets and, to his surprise, a gay club.

It's well hidden, two cities over, wedged between an antique bookstore and a barbershop. It looks nothing like a club from outside, and from the inside, it's hardly distinguishable from any other bar Walt has ever set foot in. But he knows where to look, it's something you learn over time.

The first time he orders a drink, his eyes fall on a guy sitting on the other end of the bar. Dark hair and dark eyes, with a bristly moustache. He's wearing a black cowboy hat and a jeans jacket, it's not what he would have worn. Plus he only looks a slight bit like Sal, his face is much older, more weathered from years of hard work in the sun, but it's enough for Walt to give in to his yearning.

He buys Not-Sal a drink and they fall into an easy chatter. Two hours later, Walt is driving him back to his house. Not-Sal is more experienced than Walt had thought when he starts undressing him with steady hands, his fingers touching in all the right places, he's already prepared, as if he'd been expecting this to happen, and doesn't mind it when Walt accidentally let's Sal's name slip at the height of his pleasure.

They lie together afterwards, sharing a cigarette between them, neither of them ready to leave yet. Walt is slowly falling asleep to the feeling of another person combing their hands through his hair. When he wakes up the next morning, the house is empty. There's a note on his kitchen table, a short thank you message, that's it. Next time he's at the club, Not-Sal is gone. He finds someone else. A different man, with dark hair, dark eyes and a friendly face, and then another and another. Some of the men he brings over are kind, they'll stay the night and sometimes even the morning, to share a quick meal with him before they move on, others leave almost immediately after they finish. Some of them yell out Walt's name as they come, others don't. And some yell out another man's name, but that's okay because so is Walt.

He's careful with the company he keeps. Always making sure that no one sees him leaving the club with another man, driving different routes back home and of course he's always stocking up on enough condoms because he's not stupid, he knows how important protection is.

Even though he's had a few men over, none of them return for longer than a couple of times. Its fun, to fill the mornings with senseless chatter, and to fall asleep in another person's arms. But they're not Sal.

He's longing for him. Even after all those years he's still longing for him. It's been three, almost four years since he last heard from Sal. He was moving to San Francisco. The DEA wanted someone new up there and Sal was growing tired of the shit hole they had placed him in after Mexico. They had called each other almost everyday, sometimes they would even meet each other, for a quick chat and an even quicker fuck. There was never enough time.

Sal wanted to call him back, he promised, once he was in San Francisco, to call him every day. Write a postcard. But nothing came. The telephone was silent for two whole months and Walt was desperate. First, he checked the newspapers for any missing or recently deceased people, when that search came up empty, he started to search the phone book for Sal's new address but of course that came up empty as well. He kept buying new phone books, just in case and by now, there was a small bookcase filled with old phone books in his house, and not a single one held an address for Sal Orozco. It was almost like he never exited. Only Walt's memory kept him from going insane. The fading photos on his wall, the one he kept in his wallet, next to a picture of Greg and his family. One of Sal's shirts he forgot in Walt's apartment in Texas, it had long stopped smelling of him, but nevertheless, Walt would pick it up and inhale deeply, thinking that the ghost of Sal's smell was still there, etched into the fabric. He slept with the shirt, on those nights when he woke up drenched in sweat, screaming and with a thundering heart. He wrenched his eyes open but he saw them anyway, Amat, Ossie, Danilo, sometimes even Kiki. He saw them die, he saw their bodies, bruised, burned, riddled with bullets, standing in front of his bed, he could hear them calling out his name. "You killed us, Walt." They'd point at him, blood dripping from their fingertips onto his bedsheets. Those nights were the worst. Sometimes they could only be stopped with an entire bottle of whiskey.

The dreams had gotten better since he found the dog. The dog didn't have a name. He was a stray, with dark, golden fur and dirty white paws. He picked him up on his way home from an unsuccessful night at the club, the dog was covered in ticks and fleas, one eye had been badly bruised and he was tied to a tree by the side of the road. Clearly abandoned. He expected the dog to bark at him, or worse, bite him, when he kneeled down beside him to untie him, but instead, it sat down in front of Walt and started wagging it's tail, as if he'd known Walt all his life. He took the dog in and gave it a bath, making sure that no ticks or fleas survived, before driving him to the vet the next morning to check out his eye. The vet couldn't save it and so Walt decided to take him in, just another broken thing keeping his company.

He put a collar on the dog and called him his, they slept in the same bed and sat on the couch together, watching football games and stupid action movies. The dog went fishing on the lake with him, even though he was no big help in catching the fish, he also liked to run around the orchard and sit on the front porch to sleep, and Walt liked to sit beside him and think, scratching behind his fluffy ears. Sometimes he wondered if Sal liked dogs. What he'd say if he met his dog.

The other animals were intentional. Walt bought a couple of chickens to sell their eggs at the local farm, and to keep himself busy. Then he renovated the old barn as best as he could and bought three goats to sell their meat, but once he saw them in their pen, he decided they weren't going to the slaughter house and kept them for their milk instead. He also fixed up the orchard as best as he could and started collecting the apples. Soon the onslaught of apples was too much for him to handle and so he collected them in a few boxes, along with the chicken eggs and sold them to the nearest farm. Surprisingly, the people around town started knowing him once he started visiting the farm more frequently. He would have regular conversations with some of them and at some point, even started looking forward to see them. He didn't go to the town hall meetings, or to Sunday mass, and the people had been weary of him, but once they saw him with his dog and the boxes of apples in his trunk, they warmed up to him.

He enjoyed his new life. It wasn't luxurious, but that wasn't what he wanted for himself anyway. He was no Miguel Angel. He didn't need a fleet of private planes and a couple of hotels to be happy.

The phone rang again and reminded him of his current situation. The dog had stopped wagging it's tail on the couch beside him and was looking at him with his one eye, almost as if he was saying "what are you waiting for?"

And so Walt picked up the phone, fully expecting Jamie or Ed or someone else from the DEA to yell at him to get his ass back to Mexico.

"Hello... is this Walt Breslin?" The phone slipped from his grasp and fell, he caught it in his suddenly sweaty palms, pressing the shell back against his ear. Three years silence could not erase the memory of that voice. Hushed conversations between them, hiding behind a parked car as they watched over a suspect, a gasp and then a low moan, while Walt kept hitting that one spot inside him, that set Sal's body on fire, a chatty conversation over two mugs of steaming coffee in a diner that ended with both of them laughing hysterically. Walt had enough memories for an entire lifetime with that voice, he would recognize it anywhere.

"Sal-" He breathed, rearranging the phone against his ear.

"Is- Walt is that you? Oh my god- fuck- I found you!" There was a short pause on the other end of the phone and for a moment Walt thought he was imagining things, then Sal's voice returned. "I- I'm sorry, Walt. I'm so sorry-" He sobbed, apologizing over and over.

"Sal- How did you find me? Wh- Are you alright? Is- do you need help?"

"No, no, I'm fine, Walt. I am. I just- fuck- I missed you so much. Where are you? I called you're old address so many times- I thought something happened to you…"

"Shh, I'm okay. I'm in Colorado. Small town near Denver. I'll give you the address… That is… If you want me to…"

"Yes! I mean... yes I want- I want to see you. If that's okay. I need to- need to know you're okay."

He contemplated with himself wether to ask this or not, but in the end, Walt did it anyways. "It's been three years, Sal. Why did you never call? What's changed?" Another sobb from the other end of the line. "I'll tell you. In person. Friday? Is that okay for you?" Walt squinted at his calendar. Friday was in two days, he needed to clean the house, buy some groceries and pack the car for Sunday's apple delivery.

"Yeah, Friday works."

"Alright. I'll see you on Friday… Walt… I missed you."

"… Missed you too Sal."

He put the phone down slowly, feeling like he was still in a dream. The dog had noticed something was off about his behavior and was staring at him in concern. " 's alright bud, I'm just… surprised, is all. We'll meet a friend of mine on Friday. I hope you'll like him…"

Lost in his thoughts, Walt began his evening routine, closing the chicken pen, checking on the goats and refilling the dogs food in case he got hungry during the night, only when the brown cibbles hit the kitchen tiles did he notice his thoughts slipping off. The only thing on his mind was Sal. Sal with his kind face and the warm, dark brown eyes, Sal wrapping an arm around his hips and pulling him closer, Sal whispering into Walt's ear. A hushed love confession neither of them dared to talk about. So, so many memories they shared between them, how was he supposed to wait any longer to see him again?

Friday couldn't come soon enough.

#narcos mexico #walt breslin #sal orozco #My writing #fingers crossed I find the time to finish chapter 2 soon

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submissiveharrylibrary · 7 years

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Top 100 Long Larry Fanfics

My top favorite Larry fanfics in no particular order (all over 10k words).

making this made me realize i have had no life these past 5 years lmao. And by the way, there are PLENTY more I would love to add, it was actually hard choosing a hundred (wow, I’m a sad person) but just go to my favorites tag and I have probably a hundred more.

We Will Be Remembered: AU where everything is the same except Harry was born exactly a year earlier and it changed absolutely everything.

Come on, Jump Out At Me: the one where actor Louis Tomlinson and One Direction superstar Harry Styles try to fake a sex tape to help Harry get out of the closet and they both get more than they bargained for.

Three French Hems: In which Louis is a designer at Burberry and Harry spends December wearing Lanvin… and Lanvin… and Lanvin.

The Cloud of the Unknowing: Harry knows he’s dying. Louis doesn’t.

It’s Been Awhile (Since I’ve felt butterflies): In which Louis works in an ice cream parlor and Harry is Gemma's cute little brother who starts working there, as well.

Let’s Talk About Making Love: Louis is just a simple phone sex line operator, but to Harry, he's Daddy.

Counting the Stars Behind the Clouds: The problem wasn’t that Harry was blind. The problem was Harry himself.or, in which Louis plays keyboard as part of touring singer Harry's back-up band, and spends his time stuck between being oblivious and in denial, while Harry just wants to know how many stars there are in the night sky.

Chances Under the Purple Sunrise: the one where Harry is a merman, prince of the Atlantic Ocean, whose curiosity and healthy envy takes over him and he steals Louis' shoes every time he fishes.

Faking it: A uni AU in which Louis has been Harry’s best friend since he offered him cubed fruit on the playground, and they spend more time cuddling in their dorm beds than they do apart, but it’s not like that. Or is it?

And I’ll Be Making History Like I Do: the one in which Louis is famous and more than a bit of an asshole and Harry remembers the little boy who looked kind of like a fairy auditioning for the X Factor all those years ago.

Nothing You Can Do (But You Can Learn How To Be You In Time): A Canon Compliant Semi-AU. Louis braids Harry’s hair. There are good times, bad times, fancy houses, supportive bandmates, secret boyfriends, small rebellions, bigger revolutions, some nail varnish, ribbons, cute clothing, and a Pinterest.

Give Me Truths: Louis is a psychology student with a tattoo count as high as his genius IQ. Harry is in a (sort-of) relationship with a homophobic man and hates himself a little more every day. Things fall apart and Louis puts him back together.

In Dreams: AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

It’s oh So Still: Harry doesn’t say much but Louis makes him want to try.

Uniquely Perfect: When Louis Tomlinson finds Harry Styles sitting in an alley, he doesn't at all expect Harry to be different... or different in a nonhuman way at least. Until his bestfriend Liam informs him that Harry is a hybrid. A cat hybrid to be exact. Will Louis keep Harry with him, or will he send Harry out on his own?

For Angels to Fly: Louis isn’t in love with a guy and Harry doesn’t need saving. Neither of these things end up being entirely true.

Shine: Louis is an actor who needs to get away from the real world. He does the only thing that he can and runs away, finding himself in a small town where he happens upon Harry. What Louis doesn't expect is to somehow fall in love and end up having to face what he was running from all along.

everything i can arrange, every part of me you change: Harry needs a big spoon and Louis refuses to let anyone steal his position.

Tell Me I’m Pretty: Louis Tomlinson is a fire fighting hero to many in the town of Manchester and Harry is a pretty slut who feeds off of other's telling him of his charm that just can't seem make Louis admit he's attractive.

It’s All Brand New Because of You: Louis starts a new job as a summer camp counselor at the local aquarium and Harry is a biologist who really likes teaching people about the ocean.

Thank the Moon for our Spotlight: A camp fic where Harry isn’t expecting to enjoy himself, and Louis just wants to have fun, and Harry’s a bit too shy and Louis’ a bit too comfortable, but somehow it works, anyway.

Walking Between the Raindrops: Harry Styles is a fan of One Direction, like not a massive one but they're cool. He doesn't go to their concerts, but he buys their CDs and it'd be cool to meet them. What he doesn't expect is actually meeting them and it just so happens he has a crush on, Louis Tomlinson.

Hush: an au where small towns suck, louis is losing it, and harry’s just too perfect.

Hate Me To The Moon: AU where Harry is a sexy nerd, Louis is a great actor, and they both pretend to hate each other's guts to convince themselves they're not feeling things future step-brothers shouldn't feel.

The Glass House: It wasn’t stalking. It wasn’t an obsession. It wasn’t anything. It was just — observing from a distance. At least that’s what seventeen-year-old Louis Tomlinson told himself when he got new neighbors across the street.

With Nothing But Your T-Shirt On: Harry is a camboy and Louis has been an avid subscriber for a while before he finds out they attend the same university

Sick: AU where Harry is sick with a lot of different things and Louis is the only one who can make him feel better.

When I’m Lost I Feel so Very Found: the one where Harry is an average university student who winds up pregnant with rising actor Louis Tomlinson's child

Kiss From a Rose: Louis’s in a rock band called No Control, Harry’s a pregnant model suffering from a broken heart. They've both got meddling friends.

Fake You’re Full and Feel Tomorrow: Louis is a high class prostitute and the best at what he does. Harry is a hard to please 17 year old who wants to give himself completely to another man.

Anklebiters: It was Louis' senior year when his life changed drastically - beginning with the pretty intersex boy, Harry.

Let’s Embrace the Point of No Return: Harry is an omega intern at an all alpha company. Louis is his boss. There's some complications.

iHeart You: The lads have a few days off before their performance at the iHeart Radio Music Festival. They're set to be in the studio recording their new album on those days. When Harry hears Louis talking to Eleanor, telling her he's bought her plane ticket so she can come out Harry decides he doesn't want to see her or have her anywhere near. He's sick of her. So he goes to management and for once in their lives they agree with him. They say what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas... but maybe not this time...

Haven: "I take it you’re not a new student?” “What?” Harry mumbles, caught up in the way his eyes are quite literally sparkling in the light. “Oh—No. Not a student.” “Are you a sub?” Louis asks. Harry clenches his hands into fists, holding them behind his back as he stumbles a bit. “I don’t, uh—I mean. I’ve never really gotten a chance to be a true sub, you know? My ex-partners were always scared they’d hurt me. But, like—If I trusted someone a lot, and if we used a, a safeword. And talked about, you know, boundaries, then—Yes, yeah, I-I’m a sub.” Louis’ eyes are so wide, his cheeks puffing out in the effort to not burst into laughter. “Oh shit, oh my god,” Harry whispers. “You meant—Oh god."

Sass the Week: Louis is the host of popular TV comedy ‘Sass the Week’ and Liam and Zayn are the team leaders. It just so happens this week Louis’ got the privilege of working along side his crush Harry Styles popstar who’s on the show as one of the guests.

The Best Laid Plans: When solo artist Harry Styles publicly admits to having a crush on One Direction member Louis Tomlinson, the band makes a plan: Use Harry’s fame to get back into business.

So Darling, Just Say You’ll Stay Right by My Side: AU where Louis is the chief of police in a small sea-side town and Harry is his new deputy who's a bit of a pacifist and a lot wonderful.

If You Wanna Try Me On: the Devil Wears Prada AU that no one wanted. Sort of.

Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace: the one where Harry crashes Louis’ wedding.

This Ain't Just a Thing That You Give Up: The one where Harry is a baker in addition to being a college student who just happens to meet the crazy famous Louis Tomlinson while on spring break. Featuring personal assistant!niall, roommate and best friend!liam, and costar/model!zayn.

After Hours: Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson are the bane of each other's existences. Unfortunately, they're already in love--even if they aren't completely aware of this minor detail.

Hot Chocolate: Harry's just a little boy selling hot chocolate.Louis doesn't really like hot chocolate, but he does appreciate a good businessman(especially cute, baby-faced ones).

Like to keep You Laughing: the one where Louis is a frat boy who likes to hook up and Harry is someone who doesn't hook up ever.

Feel Your Presence (in your absence): Very simply, a fallout occurs in its most painful form and Harry takes on the world with empty hands and half a lasting heart.

From Eight Until Late I Think About You: Involves a bunch of YouTube challenges (AKA excuses for Harry to get naked), some awkward snapchat mishaps, and a whole lot of pining.

now i need someone to breathe me back to life: the one where Louis is a nurse and a midwife, and Harry is so clumsy he just happens to fall into Louis' life and turn everything upside down in the best way possible.

If Tomorrow Never Comes (We Had Last Night): "Accidentally called your number while drunk asking for a ride and you actually came au"

We’re Having a Baby, My Baby and Me: the one where Harry really wants a baby.

Once in a Lifetime: Louis doesn't kill innocent people. He kills the unwanted criminals, outcasts, and poor beggars who won't be missed. After more than two hundred years of vampiric life, he doesn't feel guilt or regret anymore. But then he meets his next victim: a young, green-eyed stripper named Harry.

We Were Made to Love: Harry drives a kiddie train in the shopping centre for the summer and is obsessed with babies, and Louis never stood a chance.

To Be the Friction in Your Jeans: Harry is an exhibitionist. He gets up to shenanigans.

The Moment Where My Good Times Start to Fade: Where Harry is a flower child who works in a bakery and Louis is a guitarist who has no idea what it is he wants.

Weaker Without You: Louis and Harry have superpowers but that doesn't really define their lives. What does is meeting each other, and school and prom and life and bullies. But they get through that together because they're harryandlouis and they were meant to be, right from the start.

Away with the Fairies: Harry liked pretty things.

Home: Harry is a 10-year-old with bright green eyes and Louis is a 12-year-old with a football fascination. They become instant friends from the moment they meet. Through complications, fears and cuddles they learn and grow - in age and maturity.

Cookies, Notes and Blokes: The one where Harry blushes a lot and likes to bake, Louis may be the hottest delivery guy ever, and the written word is the chosen medium.

It’s Like I Breathe You: the one where louis volunteers to teach high school students about the ropes of business and running a company of your own, but he certainly does not plan on running into harry styles.

Paint Me a Story: In which a mute college student, whom Mr. Tomlinson dubs as bandanna boy, lets his words speak through art.

we'll play hide and seek to turn this around (give me love like never before): an au where harry paints his nails and drinks strawberry milk and is too nervous for it to be nothing and louis' just trying to figure out whats wrong with him

I’d Give Up Forever to Touch You: just your typical xfactor fic with a bit of a twist

Smile in Slow Motion: “It’s 2011, Niall. People can fuck their friends’ faces without it meaning anything more than that.” or, Louis is Harry's dom and maybe also his soulmate.

Red Freesias: Louis is a famous stage actor that is falling deeply for his new stylist Harry. Zayn's an artist, but to Liam he's the Greek god of beauty, and Niall seems to be making songs out of this all.

Never Gonna Dance Again: Louis is a spy and Harry is a dancer. The only real thing they know is each other.

Half a Heart: Eight years ago Harry Styles gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Scarlet Marie. Now, at the age of 26, he doesn't expect to run into the only man he ever loved. The man that left him when he needed him most. Eight years ago Louis Tomlinson made the biggest mistake of his life. Now, at the age of 27, that same mistake just got a whole lot bigger.

O Christmas tree! O Christmas tree! (thy candles shine so brightly): AU where Louis needs a Christmas tree and Harry just so happens to work at a Christmas tree farm.

Everywhere (I wanna be with you): Harry and Louis meet because they have terrible friends, they fall in love because something feels right in a world of uncertainty and shifting grounds. Louis is an actor and Harry is a model at the top of his game, the best things in life are the most unexpected ones and the things that hit you when you are least expecting it.

Sightless: Harry has been blind ever since birth - he can't see the world, and the world doesn't care about seeing him. His life gets flipped upside down when a twenty one year old man with an ever-lasting smile stumbles into his life.

Maybe I’m a Liar: Harry is different, Louis is in love, and Niall seems to know everything.

Wanna Taste Your Heart, Don’t Interfere: Harry presents as an omega, Louis is his alpha best friend, and there are hidden feelings that just get harder to control.

Your Flaws Upon Your Sleeves: Basically the au where Harry hides in strange places to hide his boners and Louis makes a lot of horrible assumptions. Niall gets high a lot, Zayn doesn't have as much wisdom as he thinks he does, and Liam feels like a badass in a police uniform usually. Featuring very few surprise guests.

Hideaway: Harry is in a borderline abusive relationship which ends after the news that Harry's pregnant. He is homeless for the night and travels 3 hours on the train to turn up at his best friend's Liam's house unexpectedly for somewhere to stay. He meets Louis, Liam's flatmate, and they discover that they have more in common that anyone would expect. They fall in love.

I’m Fearless with my Heart: The one where a young Louis is naive and fearless with his heart when he meets a very married Harry. He possibly doesn't stand a chance.

Teacher’s Pet: It was supposed to be a quick and easy gig: Teacher’s Assistant. All Louis had to do was spend a few months assigning reading and grading reports, and then he could continue his wayward life. He wasn’t supposed to get attached, especially not to one of his students.

Falling for Your Hallelujah: In which Louis works in a cafe, Harry has no home, and it's freezing cold but no one cares

I Love You More: Boys like Harry can't fall in love. But then he meets Louis. A love story in two parts. (prostitute!harry)

Here Comes the Sun: Harry is a pediatric specialist, Louis is a neurosurgeon. All they want is a baby.

I’ll Make this Feel Like Home: the one where Louis' hopelessly in love with his best mate... who just happens to be pregnant with another man's baby.

I Sleep Naked: "you're so small." as if to prove his point, louis squeezed harry tightly in his arms, and harry just scrunched up a little bit, snuggling his head impossibly farther into louis' chest. "my pretty paper doll."and when louis squeezed him again, placing a shaky, yet warm kiss on harry's cold forehead, harry felt his heart feel that way again, he felt love. a soft flutter, that even the most self control in the world couldn't stop. he loved louis. he loved him even though he didn't want to, he really didn't.okay, maybe a little.

All These Lights: the canon fic where Harry is an omega and dreams come with a price.

As You Are: AU. Five years after The X Factor launched his career as a radio host and songwriter, Louis Tomlinson returns as a judge. Falling for a contestant is the last thing he needs. It's also against his contract.

the whole world, it is sleeping (but my world is you): Louis never really knew commitment, never really knew love, until Harry. (canon fic but Harry is blind)

I’ll Be Waiting on Forever: A Romeo and Juliet AU where Louis is an alpha prince who falls in love with Harry, an omega prince from the neighboring kingdom

With Your Love we Could Breathe Under Water: AU where Harry is a mermaid, Louis is a human, and they both discover a lot more than they anticipated.

you can wrap your fingers round my thumb and hold me tight: Harry and Louis feel like their family is complete. Mixed feelings when they find out Harry's pregnant again, six years after their youngest was born.

Baby, What a Surprise: the one where shy, quiet Harry has no idea he's a carrier, and a one night stand with the most popular boy in school shows him just how wrong he was.

The Sweet Devotion: Harry loved Louis at 18 when he couldn’t afford to take him on a date, at 21 when he spent all his time trying to make it and now he adores every part of him as he professionally lives his dream every single day. And he will love him no matter how long trying for a baby will take them and every day after.

Blue eyes like Blue Skies: Harry's last relationship was horrific, leaving him with physical and mental scars. Louis comes into his life and does his best to treat Harry how he deserves.

Put Your Head on My Shoulder: Niall gives Harry until the end of marching season to either a) make a move on Louis Tomlinson or b) get the fuck over him. Either is easier said than done. Basically, your High School AU with a drum beat.

Never Knew I Needed: Louis Tomlinson didn't need anybody. If he didn't need anybody, then he didn't have to care for anybody in return. And that's just how he liked it. He had three close friends, and that's all he'd allow. Until Harry Styles came along and ruined everything.

Why Don’t We Go There?: Louis sends a text message to a wrong number by accident. They keep texting each other from there.

Drain the Whole Sea: When Harry finds an unusual yet promising opportunity that could possibly get him somewhere and help him further his current failure of a writing career, he doesn’t hesitate to take it. Despite his boyfriend Sam’s pleading, he lets this dream bring him to the luxurious yet quaint home of world-renowned, best-selling author Louis Tomlinson.

Your Bruised Lips: Harry is a prostitute but not by choice. Louis wants to heal him whilst trying to ignore the feeling in his chest when he looks at him. Zayn is exasperated with everyone. And Niam just don't like violence- well, Liam doesn't. That Irish bastard is always up for a good fight. (It says incomplete and i doubt it’s going to be updated, but the last chapter can basically be an ending)

One Night Stands: Harry was always great at making decisions; he never did anything too risky and he never really did anything stupid. He played by all the rules, which led to him living a quiet life. However, one night when he decides to go out with a few friends and have some drinks and randomly hooks up with a man, his specifically planned out life goes to shit.

Make Tea, Not War: Louis attempts to become a better flatmate, much to Harry's dismay.

I’d Burn this City Down to Show You the Light: Harry's a sheltered rich kid and Louis's a punk with a heart of gold. They meet when Louis breaks into Harry's house, Harry obtains an instant and all-encompassing crush, and they spend the summer falling into a whirlwind romance.

Lights Will Guide You Home: Louis Tomlinson is his school’s resident bad boy and easily the most liked person there. Harry Styles is more or less invisible at the same school (unless he’s being harassed). So, of course, it’s inevitable that they fall for each other.

Behind My Eyelids Are islands of Violence: Harry has epilepsy. No matter what time it is or where he's to be located, Louis will always come running.

I Need Home (Our Tangled Bones): the kid fic where Louis wants to make Harry a star, Zayn just needs everyone to stop being stupid, Niall laughs his arse off at everything, Liam attempts to keep things in order and Harry takes a chance.

Breathe Into Me and Make Me Real: Harry's fading away, bit by bit everyday, and all he can feel is numb. He finds Louis, who's like sunshine, bright and glowing, and smells like red velvet cupcakes and whipped cream.

Deep in my Heart I Know There’s Only You: harry and louis are best friends who engage in some platonic baby-making. very platonic.

And now here’s my self-advertising. Here are MY stories that I think are decent, if you want more:

there's a love and it grows (there's a life that we share): where Harry and Louis are strangers (not really) who had a one night stand at a party and end up having a baby together.

Gym Teacher: When Louis was offered a job as a temporary substitute gym teacher, he really didn't expect to fall for an annoying, rude and irritating 16 year old kid named Harry Styles.

It Started With Romeo: Harry is a sweet boy in a new town with a pregnant cat, secret kinks, a hatred for his rude neighbor and a stubborn attitude that leads him to a lot of drama. or the one where Louis' cat gets Harry's cat pregnant and there's some daddy kink in there.

Nudes: where Harry meets a very strange man on kik who likes to send nudes and way too many emojis, but he somehow doesn't end up blocking him.

The Boy Who Cried Suicide: Where Louis is in school and acts depressed to get attention, but then when he really is, no one believes him.

A Little Love: where Harry gets heartbroken, so Louis tries showing him love, but a bump is in the road. Literally.

Emerald Eyes: Louis is an on-the-run killer and when he goes after his next victim, things take a change. Because, Harry has sad emerald green eyes and didn't flinch nor seem at all scared of Louis. This causes Louis kidnap him instead of kill him.

Little Rendezvous: Where Harry and Louis are both innocent best friends and learn about sex together.

Hashtag Manslut: Where Louis is sick of his slutty roommate bringing strangers in their dorm and tries to pull a prank, but then see's cuts on his wrists. And, maybe not everyone is who they make themselves out to be.

#Larry Stylinson #larry fanfiction #larries #larry is real #favorites #Harry Styles #louis tomlinson #larry

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whitewolfofwinterfell · 7 years

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I can't understand how some people can say that stelena was an abusive relationship... like excuse me... did we witness the same relationship? Stelena was so full of mutual respect, trust, love, passion etc and I just can't understand how anyone can call that abuse?

Warning: mention of sensitive issues relating to abuse under the cut.

Yeah, I mean, my honest opinion is that the word abuse has just become common language for a lot of people and it’s used so loosely. But the problem is it’s such a controversial and sensitive subject, because defining abuse is ambiguous.

If people want to make a ship appear abusive they will always find things that they can use to validate that opinion. With Stelena for example, there are scenes that people who are anti-Stelena can use to portray them as being toxic. There’s the fact that he watched Elena for months before he met her, he bit her in 3x05, force fed her his blood and threatened to kill her in 3x11 and off the top of my head those are the only examples I can think of, but I’m sure there are more that people use. Regardless of what they use, the point remains, that in my opinion Stelena are not abusive at all.

Here’s a basic definition for an abusive relationship: “Relationship abuse is a pattern of abusive and coercive behaviors used to maintain power and control over a former or current intimate partner. Abuse can be emotional, financial, sexual or physical and can include threats, isolation, and intimidation. Abuse tends to escalate over time. When someone uses abuse and violence against a partner, it is always part of a larger pattern of control.”

No part of that sounds anything like Stelena to me, but for the sake of argument let’s break it down:

“Behaviours used to maintain power and control over partner”. - When Elena was with Stefan she was a free individual. She was allowed and actively encouraged by Stefan to make her own decisions and maintain relationships with her friends and family.

“Can include threats, isolation and intimation”. - Stefan’s threatened Elena, but never consistently and never to maintain control of her or get her to do what he wants. Most of the time they’ve been empty threats when he had his humanity off. He never isolated her in anyway or intimated her in anyway.

“Abuse tends to escalate over time”. - Not at all. Like I said, even if Stefan has ever behaved untoward with Elena, it’s always been a one-off that he’s later apologised for. It certainly hasn’t continued or progressed over time.

I’d just like to add here that Elena has always said that she felt safe with Stefan and that he never scared her. Now, when I look on http://stoprelationshipabuse.org (where I got the above definition of abuse from) and look at the warning signs of abuse, it says things such as: do you feel nervous around your partner? are you scared of disagreeing with your partner? And a common theme of all of the warning signs of abuse relates back to this idea of fear from the victim and control from the abuser. Neither of which are elements in Stelena’s relationship.

In short, nothing about Stelena is a abusive in any way shape or form, at least if we are to use the above definition of abuse. A few acts of violence, arguments, threats or whatever else does not equate to abuse. Does that make it right? Of course not. Any form of physical or emotional violence or cruelty is never okay, but if you can tell me a real life relationship that doesn’t experience it in some form at least once, I’ll give you a gold medal. The reason for that is because it’s impossible. Sometimes emotions get the best of people, their rationality leaves them and they do or say things in the heat of the moment that is hurtful to their partner which they don’t even really mean. It’s impossible and ridiculous to expect anyone (fictional character or not) to be able to think with a rational head all the time, to always be good, kind, considerate and forgiving and to never hurt their partner with their words or actions. But the difference is that a healthy and non-abusive relationship will work through those incidents if they arise and through mature, open communication will deal with them as a couple. That means admitting when they’ve done something wrong, apologising, being honest about why they said/did what they said/did, listening to their partner’s side of the the story, showing empathy and understanding and mutually co-operating to work towards an outcome to the incident and/or issues.

I’d also like to add to this that despite what is often said by anti-Delena’s (probably even including myself at some point in the past), based on the definition above, I don’t perceive D*lena to be abusive either. There are certainly more problematic elements and examples of physical or emotional violence or manipulation and control with them than Stelena, particularly in the earlier seasons, but overall, I don’t think Damon controls Elena. In the past he has told her she doesn’t get to make decisions and/or tried to stop her in doing something she wants, but she was still always able to do what she wanted (mostly because others such as Stefan helped her to do that or she simply stood up for herself). But particularly once they were in a relationship, she was free to be her own person, which we saw in seasons 5 and 6. If it was up to Damon she wouldn’t have gone away to college, she wouldn’t have studied medicine, she wouldn’t have stayed friends with Stefan and she wouldn’t have taken the cure, because we all know that all Damon really cares about is having Elena by his side as his for the rest of eternity. In my opinion, D*lena is unhealthy and toxic, not abusive.

There is a distinct difference between these things, in that with abuse there is an abuser in the relationship, someone that is deliberately controlling the victim through some form of physical, emotional or mental manipulation, control or cruelty and I just don’t see that with D*lena. I see a couple that are unintentionally over invested in one another to a level whereby they’re almost obsessive and lose themselves because of it. Also, in abuse it’s the victim alone that suffers, but in D*lena’s relationship both Damon and Elena suffer, simply because their relationship is unhealthy for both of them. Things such asElena not seeming as concerned with her friends and family isn’t Damon stopping her from seeing them or telling her she can’t spend time with them, it’s Elena being so utterly wrapped up in Damon that she can’t see anything outside of that relationship. That was proven by her drug use in the beginning of season 6 after Damon’s death. And similarly, just the same as Stefan, Elena isn’t afraid of Damon. When I looked at Elena in season 5 and 6 I didn’t see a vulnerable, scared little girl that was being controlled by her boyfriend and was miserable but didn’t know how to escape. I saw a lost little girl that was totally blinded by her unhealthy love for this man whom she believed to be her entire world. Whether we as Stelena shippers like it or not, Elena has chosen to stay with Damon, not because of abuse or control or manipulation but because she wanted to be with him. But my reason for bringing D*lena into this is to make a point that so often the word abuse is thrown around by people to try and insult a ship or invalidate their anti-ships, but it’s pretty ignorant (and probably offensive to those who actually are victims of abuse) to use it without properly understanding what it means. I just think it’s important for people to try and educate themselves to understand the difference between a problematic, unhealthy, toxic relationship or a relationship that has some abusive elements and an actual abusive relationship.

#answered #my meta #tvd meta

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bluewatsons · 4 years

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Nicole M. Aschoff, Against Self-Driving Cars, Jacobin (December 5, 2019)

Instead of spending billions developing driverless cars we should be building sustainable people-centered transportation.

Uber lost its license to operate in London last week. Transport for London determined that the ride-sharing company hadn’t done enough to tackle fraud on its platform, including fraud committed by drivers who had managed to game Uber’s system, driving under false identities after they had been dismissed or suspended.

It’s distressing news for Uber executives already under pressure to boost the company’s sagging share price. But Uber has a plan. It’s going to get rid of its drivers altogether and run its business through a fleet of self-driving cars.

The plan to eliminate drivers isn’t exactly new. Former CEO Travis Kalanick promised back in 2015 that the company would operate an entirely driverless fleet by 2030. Kalanick was sidelined in Uber’s quest for respectability but his dream lives on. In 2018, the company spent $475 million on autonomous fleet development.

Uber is not alone. There is a veritable frenzy among automotive assemblers and tech companies to create and deploy a viable commercial self-driving car, particularly in California, which has more than sixty companies testing driverless vehicles. The battle lines in the war for driverless supremacy are not drawn between automotive assemblers and tech companies, however. Instead, tech companies and auto giants are teaming up.

Waymo, Google’s self-driving car division, buys cars from Jaguar Land Rover and Chrysler. Apple and Uber have both purchased autonomous vehicle start-ups and Uber is working with Volvo. Honda has attached itself to Cruise, General Motor’s driverless division, while Ford and Amazon are working out a partnership. Huawei is providing the AI muscle for a number of joint ventures, while Hyundai has invested in roughly twenty companies working on autonomous driving, some of which are direct rivals of Uber. Behind the scenes, SoftBank, through it’s Saudi-backed $100 billion Vision Fund, has dumped billions into autonomous technology development at Toyota, General Motors, and Uber.

These partnerships are not quite equal. Whoever creates and controls the information and communications technology that directs these driverless cars (at this point the tech companies rather than the assemblers) will take home the lion’s share of profits. Nor do all of these companies share the same vision for a driverless world. Right now there are two main motivating stories at work in the drive for autonomous vehicles.

The first is a story about safety. Over a million people are killed by cars every year, and experts say nine out of ten of these accidents are caused by human error. Speed demons causing mayhem in school zones, elderly people in denial about their diminishing reflexes, idiots getting behind the wheel when they’re three sheets to the wind: self-driving car advocates say the solution is to take humans out of the equation.

“To the extent we can demonstrate that we’re driving more safely than the average human then,” Dan Ammann, head of Cruise, told the Financial Times, “by definition, every time we deploy one of our cars on the road we’re making the world slightly safer.”

Experts say that autonomous vehicles — equipped with lidar sensors, high-definition maps combined with GPS, and artificial neural networks — will finally make driving safe.

The second story extols the efficiency of autonomous vehicles. Nine out of ten American households own a car, yet these cars are idle most of the time. Driverless-car advocates say this is a wasted asset. Instead of letting our cars sit in the driveway or on the street they could be out making money for us as driverless taxis.

Tesla boss Elon Musk, for example, promises that his company’s cars will be fully autonomous by the end of 2019 and by the end of 2020 be positioned to participate in Tesla’s driverless taxi service. In a win-win, Tesla owners will send their cars out each day to work as taxis while the company gets a healthy cut of the fares.

The efficiency story is often melded with a sustainability story. Autonomous cars, it is imagined, will all be electric and people will share them, thus reducing the overall number of cars on the road.

These narratives are repeated over and over, by corporate executives, city planners, transportation experts, and tech journalists. Autonomous cars are just around the corner, we’re told, which is great because apparently, we’ve always wanted them. And even if we didn’t, they’re coming anyway, so we need to redesign our cities and roads to accommodate them.

The stories we tell about self-driving cars, however, don’t hold up.

For one thing we have no good evidence that self-driving cars are safer than human operators. Thanks to an incredibly business-friendly NHTSA, the data we get from companies testing autonomous driving tech is mostly voluntarily submitted self-assessments that “read like marketing brochures.”

Companies brag about all the miles they are clocking in their autonomous vehicles, but these are not quality miles. Instead, they are primarily miles generated in geofenced areas that eliminate factors such as inclement weather or poor lane markings.

But the solution is not to add more miles — it isn’t possible to add enough miles using current development strategies. As a recent report argued, to determine, for example, whether self-driving cars were even 20 percent safer than human-operated vehicles (with 95 percent confidence) would require autonomous vehicles to be “driven more than 11 billion miles to detect this difference. With a fleet of 100 autonomous vehicles being test-driven 24 hours a day, 365 days a year at an average speed of 25 miles per hour, this would take 518 years — about a half a millennium.”

As Michael DeKort, a former aerospace systems engineer argues, “it is not possible, neither in time or money, to drive and redrive, stumble and restumble on all of the scenarios necessary to complete the effort.” At the same time, he argues that “the process will cause thousands of accidents, injuries and casualties when efforts to train and test the AI move from benign scenarios to complex and dangerous scenarios. Thousands of accident scenarios will have to be run thousands of times each.”

Moreover, scientists aren’t even sure how to proceed beyond “Level 2” driverless tech in which drivers are for the most part along for the ride as the car does its thing, but are expected to intervene quickly if something goes wrong. In tests conducted by numerous companies professional drivers (even if there were two drivers in the car) kept falling asleep, and even if they were alerted, took a considerable time (upwards of forty-five seconds) to regain situational awareness — far too long to prevent a tragic accident.

Part of the safety story makes sense. Deep learning, sensors, and cameras, should all be used to make vehicles and driving safer. Volvo (the company that standardized three-point seatbelts in passenger vehicles), for example, advocates cars equipped with driver-facing cameras and AI that will alert the driver if they are looking away from the road for too long, or can even stop the car if the vehicle’s software determines the driver is driving under the influence of alcohol or drugs. These are interesting ideas that should be explored. But there is simply no good data at this point demonstrating that driverless cars, developed using any existing strategies, will lead to safer outcomes.

There are also much easier, cheaper, and more sensible ways, of reducing vehicular deaths: reducing or eliminating cars in areas with high pedestrian traffic and creating more car-free zones; investing in more and better green buses, shuttles, and trains, so it’s easy to weave public transportation into our travel plans; paying a decent wage and enforcing strict health and safety rules for drivers, particularly long-haul drivers.

The second story we’re told, however, that driverless cars are an efficient solution to wasted resources, makes no sense whatsoever.

One fairly obvious problem is that while cars are big, heavy, and expensive, they are not particularly robust. If people rent them out all day while they are at work, they’ll depreciate rapidly. Also, why would people be more willing to share their car just because it was an autonomous vehicle? Granted, there has been some interest in carsharing, through apps like Getaround and Drivy, but carsharing hasn’t taken off for the simple reason that most people can’t risk being without transportation or the possibility that a stranger might destroy their vehicle.

A far bigger problem, however, is one of vision. Self-driving car advocates are remarkably oblivious to the developmental imperatives of a landscape characterized by looming climate catastrophe, underinvestment in basic lifesaving science, resource depletion, and yawing inequality.

Instead, they zero in on ordinary working people — drivers — as the problem and support dumping hundreds of billions of dollars into dubious projects that operate on the assumption that if we can just figure out how to eliminate drivers from the equation, poof, we’ll be able to leapfrog the hard political work of developing sustainable transportation.

Those who question the wisdom of the driverless vision, who ask whether it wouldn’t be smarter and safer to make sustainable people-centered investments in technology, need to make their voices heard. We’ve let automobile assemblers and tech companies take the wheel for far too long.

#technology #science #uberhood #criticism #modernity #the way we live now #self-driving cars

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