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taboo-delusion · 7 months

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In case you didn't see the first one, here's a list of websites that find trigger warnings for you:

(I've also included the link names so you can pasta or type if you're looking at a screenshot.)

Template-

Website Name - ((Link Address))

Searches Through: ____

Other Info: ___

Book Trigger Warnings - (https://booktriggerwarnings.com/Welcome )

Searches Through: Books

Other Info: Also contains a page for books which don’t have any warnings added yet.

Common Sense Media - (https://www.commonsensemedia.org/movie-reviews )

Searches Through: Books

Other Info: Only allows three reviews each month without a member subscription ($30 USD)

DoestheDogDie - (https://www.doesthedogdie.com/ )

Searches Through: Anime, blogs, books, comic books, magazines, manga, movies, podcasts, short stories, shows, videogames, youtube videos.

Other Info: Easier to use and possible to pin triggers when you make an account.

The Parental Guide Section - (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1659337/parentalguide?ref_=tturv_ql_stry_5 )

Searches Through: Movies and shows

Other Info: There is also an advanced Title Search that includes many detailed options. (https://www.imdb.com/search/title/?ref_=fn_asr_tt )

There is no category searching; you have to find it manually.

Step 1. Enter the title of the show/movie you want to watch.

Step 2. Just below the search bar, click ‘user reviews’. This will take you to a new page.

Step 3. On the right, there’s a box listing the type of reviews available; ‘Awards

FAQ, user reviews, user ratings,’ etc. Click ‘Explore more’.

Step 4. Scroll until you see ‘Parents Guide’. This will take you to a new page, wherein the content being warned about is just below the movie/show’s pic.

(I’ve never written a tutorial before, but this was a pain in the ass to find.)

Trigger Checker - (https://www.triggerchecker.com/home )

Searches Through: Movies & shows

Other Info: You have to enter the title, then enter the specific trigger you’re looking for, and it just gives a yes or no for that specific content. For example- I entered ‘The Labyrinth’. I chose the correct movie title based on similar results. Then in the content search, I tried ‘red’, then ‘puppet’, then ‘worm’. It said no each time and did not provide any other information.

(I try to remain unbiased when writing these things, but I’m questioning who runs that site. I don’t trust it.)

Trigger Genius - (https://genius.com/artists/Trigger-genius )

Searches Through: Music lyrics

Other Info: They organize it first by type of music (pop, rap, etc.), then by trigger topic. There is also a user guide.

Trigger Warning Database - (https://triggerwarningdatabase.com/ )

Searches Through: Books

Other Info: It’s very easy to navigate.

UnconsentingMedia - (https://www.unconsentingmedia.org/ )

Searches Through: Books, movies, podcasts, shows, videogames.

Other Info: This site focuses on warning about content with specifically sexual triggers. They also rank said content by type and colour. (This site seems to have less content than the others, but updates can be requested.)

If you want to add any to the list, feel free! I left the template in case anyone else wants to use it!

#trigger warning list #content warning list #trigger finder #trigger websites #searching triggers #content ratings #please share #please reblog

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incaensio · 7 months

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setting : some viewing party during the 67th hunger games with : cadence kentwell @vengefvlx

the games last year had been exciting — domitila is hardly an unbiased opinion, as it had been her first time taking part in the backstage of it all — but this year's is a bit of a let down. she doesn't say it, but she doesn't have to — most years, the parties are highly focused on the screens, but the layers of snow have made the spectacle slow-going and people indulge in the entertainment outside of the arena instead. all over, while a couple from each remaining district in game rot around the mentor's lounge, other victors and capitolites mingle around the city, in several viewing parties. domitila attends one of the most prestigious ones, of course, as does the victors most popular. from afar, she can catch a glimpse of the ever popular finnick odair, but she's also seen a few faces from one and several of her own victors, from district two. as it's only been a year, she's still trying to familiarize herself with them, so she tries not to hound them too often.

there is a few exceptions; two are in the mentor's lounge, but the other, she can see across the room, glittering in a piece domitila herself has gifted her some hours ago. with little hesitation, the stylist makes her way there, a smile bright up in her lips as she sneaks in the conversation. cadence is engaging with a couple domitila is more or less familiar with, and she can see the girl endures them as well as anyone else: with a large glass of bubbling drink. she's all too different from the small girl that had so few odds just last year, who had come out of the arena bloody and filthy; now, with her looks all taken care of, she looks much older, almost like she belongs. "cadence, darling," the eldest swoops down with familiarity, planting a kiss to each of the girl's cheeks. she can smell the drink, but, well, it's not as if she hasn't been drinking as well. "i've been looking for you all evening! i have something to show you. would you excuse you, mr and mrs deeppelt?" the couple is hesitant, but they also have little room for an argument when domitila is wrapping an arm around cadie's waist and leading her away. "tell me i've whisked you away from boredom! those two are hardly the type of people a young thing like you should be around."

#— 𝐷. 𝑀. : written.#eventidepast

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redscharms · 2 years

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Hey! Could you read about jungkook's personality?

BTS Jungkook's personality reading

The energy channeling started even before I drew the first card

I went on Pinterest to find an image of Jungkook and the first one was of him and his dog

I remember the last time I did a reading I asked if he had a dog and some of you told me that indeed he had one

But this was the first time I've seen his picture on Pinterest together with his pet

And right after that last reading too

And what's interesting immediately after I drew two cards

Two of Swords and Four of Cups

It said Doubt on the Two of Swords card but I interpret this card slightly different that usual

I see impartiality and candour

The ability to be honest with people he's close to

He seems to value honestly and won't shy away from telling his honest, unbiased opinion to the person who needs to hear it even if it's a bitter truth they don't want to hear

He wants to stay true to his morals and will try to deliver the truth as softly and gently as possible but he won't sugarcoat it too much

A loyal friend who believes that honest communication is the key to a healthy, long lasting friendship

Funny enough the next card is The World which is also translated as "peace" in this deck's language

I think Jungkook often takes the role of the peacemaker in the group, trying to make people understand each other's point of view

The Eight of Cups seems to indicate that he won't insist on "talking about the problem" if he sees that the people he tries to help are not interested in helping themselves

Looks like it's easier for him to retreat instead of being in the middle of the conflict, trying to resolve it

As much as he hates stressful situations and wants everyone to get along, he prefers to stay away from heated discussions and arguments

He seems to be very sensitive to other's bad moods and toxic energies

With the Hanged Man in reverse it feels that Jungkook loves to be constantly occupied with something

It could be listening to music, dancing, working out, enjoying his favourite hobby, going on a walk...

Like a mild case of ADHD (not diagnosing anyone obviously, just the energy I'm getting and trying to describe how it feels like)

The thing that caught my eye is the halo around the Hanged Man's head

I feel like Jungkook is a very good person

Humble, kind, has a big heart

But... I don't know how to describe this

It's like people took advantage of his kindness before and now he's very careful with his immediate instincts to help people

He chooses how much empathy to give each person he interacts with

It's a good thing because he practices healthy boundaries and doesn't let himself get involved without being asked to do so

Perhaps people he helped before were either extremely ungrateful and greedy for more, selfishly expecting him to constantly go out of his way to satisfy their needs

So far it seems that despite all the fame and recognition Jungkook remained very humble and didn't let the popularity get to his head

The Moon and the Page of Wands

The duality of passionate, outgoing, free spirited nature and a mysterious, secretive personality

It looks like there are very few people he actually trusts and some of his secrets are known only to the Moon itself

It's like he can be the soul of the party, the one who suggests trying everything and anything new, that member of the group who initiates a lot of new and exciting activities but who also remains a mystery to everyone despite his bright and outgoing personality

It maybe also that he doesn't like to talk about his goals and dreams with others and much rather accomplish them first before saying anything about his intentions out loud

He's creative, romantic, had a quick wit and catches small details others could easily miss or ignore

Nine of Wands and the Knight of Wands

A lot of fiery energy to match his drive and interest for life

He loves to experience new things, create new memories, live in the moment

With all this Wands energy it feels like although he's very trustworthy himself, he finds it difficult to trust people, hence all those secrets he keeps to himself

It doesn't mean that he doesn't want to bond with someone on a deeper level

This is the first time I noticed the lizard pattern of the Knight's clothes

Feels like despite his sensitive nature, Jungkook is very capable and good at "regrowing his lost limbs" as in taking care of his mental health

He is capable of letting go of past negative feelings for his own sake

The Knight wearing the armour also makes me think of the inner strength that helps him overcome difficulties and move forward

He cares about living his life to the fullest and doesn't see any value in mulling over the same thing over and over

If the relationship is not working out and the other person isn't interested or capable of moving on and letting go of the past, Jungkook won't stay in that toxic circle of destructive behaviour

While shuffling I was thinking "what else could I tell about him in this reading" and if I'll get any more information

I wanted to type "maybe he won't say anything else because of the Moon card and his mysterious side"

And it's funny that the card that jumped out was The Judgment in reverse

In one of my previous readings I said that Jungkook is working on himself and how he's not completely honest with himself let alone the people around me

"Judgement Reversed calls for a period of reflection and self-evaluation. Through meditation or quiet contemplation, you may arrive at a deep understanding of the universal themes weaving throughout your life and what you can do or change to avoid these situations. You may have kept them secret or hidden because you fear how others may judge you. To clear these past mistakes and regrets, and any associated guilt or shame, work on your self-forgiveness, self-acceptance, self-love, and release and freedom."

Once again I see that this man is keeping many things to himself

"Maybe you’re afraid of the sacrifice you will need to make to heed the call, or you’re worried you are not ready to step into a more prominent role and just want to play it safe."

I feel like this is the right time to end the reading

Oh, the bottom deck card....

The Chariot

Another Major arcana card

Ambition, determination, willpower...

Jungkook is a very strong individual with a very interesting inner world and a beautiful sensitive side to him

He's all about hard work and self-discipline

His energy is very warm and he was destined for fame, success and recognition

It seems that he'll probably use his free time to travel and find new ways to enjoy this life in a healthy way

This was a very nice reading, the energies were very strong

I promised I'll do Jungkook's reading heh

I hope you enjoyed it ♥️

Feel free to tell me if I got it right

P.s. it's not often I get a "they were destined for..." message in a reading. That was interesting

#bts tarot #bts #bts jungkook #k pop tarot #k pop reading #jeon jungkook #tarot reading #bts reading

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fallingsunflower · 3 years

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Holivia Yacht Analysis

If you don't want to see the yacht pics of Harry and Olivia, I recommend you keep scrolling!

Also while I try to remain fairly unbiased with my body language analysis, I still lean PR so just keep that in mind. I'm not necessarily trying to "prove" anything but I'm just telling you what I think.

General reminder that obviously these pictures only show a split second of a larger scene. I'll analyze what I can and make estimated guesses but pay more attention to the overall theme rather than my nitpicking comments. The overall theme is probably more accurate than me just pointing out small things.

And also, because I had people ripping me apart after my last big holivia post, I'm not professionally trained in the art of body language analysis. I have a degree in psychology and am currently a masters candidate (also in psychology). I've learned a lot about body language through my classes, and also though work experience (I've worked in a psychiatric hospital and 2 schools), but I'm not a professional.

OKAY now that that's over with...

I've been having a hard time figuring out the order of these pics but I noticed something interesting while I was trying to figure it out (I'll show you a little further down). But anyways, the order I have them in might not be exact but it's a general idea. Also it's not every single picture. There were a lot.

First Set

Who arrived first, idk, but I think our stunt literally starts right as soon as either Harry or Olivia hops on board (I want to say Harry came out to meet her). Seems like the most sense since she was in a bikini the whole time and he gradually stripped down. I also think there are pictures of him arriving but I couldn't find those.

Recent Edit: I think Olivia came out to meet Harry.

- So I've been having a hard time with the order of these pictures. I'm showing these first because I have a suspicion that this kiss photo took two tries and they just combined all the pictures. I could totally be wrong but I find it odd that he helps her down from that position twice. It's possible they were up there and walking around, but there's no other pictures to suggest that. So my theory is that there's multiple sets of pictures being merged into one. Again I might be wrong but that's just my thought process.

- Then there's this photo which is taken at an entirely different angle than the above photos. You can tell because the yacht is now pointed forward. Yes, the yacht will shift with the water since it's anchored down but I'm not sure if it would shift that much if this picture is in sequence with the above left picture. So either I'm wrong and the yacht moved, this is part of a different sequence of pictures, or there's more than one person taking pictures therefore we have different angles.

- Bonus picture: This seems like it's from another sequence because it doesn't make sense with the first two pictures (or even the one right above this). At first glance I thought it was the picture taken right before the top left photo but Olivia's too far forward for that to make sense. But anyway, just wanted to point out that Olivia's doing the stance again. Hands on the hips show assertive action, confidence, being territorial etc. I talk more about it in this post.

Kissing Sequence

I didn't want to post the video for copyright reasons but you can most likely find it on this account or this one. Should be under one of their highlights. It's just a compilation of all the kissing pictures in order so you can visualize it better.

- The order took me a while to figure out but I actually think the accounts have it pretty accurate, based off of foot placement and the way the wind blows Olivia's hair. There are a couple of photos within this sequence that seem out of place because of the direction the yacht is in and where Harry and Olivia are standing (which is why I think it's two sets of photos merged) but for the most part this seems accurate.

Body language: Initially, it looks like they got into position and then started this weird dance thing. Now looking back on it I have a theory. They were either dancing because they're both anxious. Rocking back and forth like that, which could be seen as dancing from pictures, is a sign of distress. It's a nervous tick used when someone is upset or anxious. It goes hand in hand with pursing or sucking in lips, contorting into fetal position, or freezing in place. So it could be that. And yes, if you're looking at it from a real perspective you could say they were dancing simply because they wanted to.

But my theory is that neither of them knew where the paps were but they knew they were there. So they danced like that as a distraction so they could look for the paparazzi without making it obvious. Harry looks right at them, as does Olivia I'm pretty sure (but it's more obvious with Harry). And the reason why I theorize this is because 1. they look at or near the camera and 2. they are conveniently kissing at the perfect angle where you can see their lips lock. If they were just a little off, you'd get the back of their head and miss the whole thing. Does that make sense?

I'd also like to point out that Harry was the one to initiate the kiss. He leans in first if you analyze the pics. Also also it's very obviously a closed mouth kiss. No "sucking faces" like that weird gossip video said that's going around. It's too puckery.

Anyways, as for Harry's hand placement, it's kind of tricky. His hand is lower on her back (which is a sign of someone being sexually attracted to another) and his fingers are spread far apart (which is territorial or high in confidence) but touching her with his fingertips only is a sign he's not being that affectionate (it’s like he’s trying but subconsciously failing). Fingertip touches often mean less fondness and discomfort. It's like a weird combination going on. And yes, you could bring up the fact Harry isn't even directly touching her skin by keeping his hand lower on her bathing suit. I wouldn't give it that much thought honestly but we all know how weird (not a bad weird) Harry is about touch and consent.

Olivia also seems to be moving her arm a lot. It looks like she's rubbing his back. Rubbing someone's back is a way of showing affection but it's also a way to comfort someone if they're upset or distressed. Which one they were going for, I don't know, but just pointing out both sides. You can decide which one to believe.

The hug they exchange is also interesting. Harry typically engages in what people call a "rag doll" hug. You can see it in the smoothie shop video and in those "totally organic" pictures from London (both on my original Holivia body language post). The "rag doll" hug essentially means that he just kind of goes limp while Olivia shows all the affection. It's typically not a good sign from Harry's perspective and indicates that he might not be willing to go further with any affection. It could also mean he's intimidated by the affection.

But with this yacht hug, obviously it's not a rag doll hug. It's a normal hug and seems pretty tight. I can't tell if their pelvises are flush against each other or if there's some space, mainly because Harry's posture is throwing me off. I think they look closer than what they are because Harry's overcompensating his bottom half so he can lower his head to Olivia's level. But either or his body looks a little angled away judging by the position of his left foot, and it's also not a heart-to-heart hug. Heart-to-heart hugs are considered the most intimate and are done on the left side so your heart matches up with the person you're hugging. Again that doesn't necessarily mean anything but just pointing it out. Hugging on the right side is instinct for nearly everyone. The statistics of that are kind of interesting actually.

- So these I find more interesting than the body language from the last set of pictures.

Judging by the angle of the yacht and their placement, I'd bet these were taken right after the kissing pics. If Olivia just did a 180 she would be in the same position as these above pictures. So I think the order goes left (Harry moving away from her), top right (them looking out at something or someone and Harry rolling up his shorts), bottom left (them moving around to the back of the boat with Harry's shorts rolled up).

Body language: seems weird for right after the kissing pics, no? Or even before but I'm pretty sure it's after. Then we have them both begin to walk around back but Harry suddenly doesn't help Olivia anymore like he did in the first couple pictures. Also he keeps looking down which could be a signs of shyness or distress, but he also might just be watching where to step. To be fair they're on a rocky boat (pun intended).

But yeah I just find the timing of these pretty telling, I don't believe these pictures circulated as much as the others. Also I don't think Harry rolling up his shorts has anything to do with covering the logo. All articles used the kissing pics from above and you can see the logo. I think Harry was just rolling them up to roll them up lol

Sitting Down Set

1st - top left. Olivia looks out at something while Harry waits for her inside. Just seems weird to me, idk. Keep in mind this is most likely after the kissing pics. Olivia's hair is the same. Plus Harry walked ahead of her in the pictures above these so I'd bet he walked straight into that sitting area while Olivia lingered outside for a bit.

2nd - top right. Olivia joins Harry inside. She puts her hair up while he seemingly FaceTimes someone.

3rd - bottom left. Harry takes his sweatshirt off and has wine now. ALSO this is a different angle like entirely. You can see the land behind them as opposed to the water. It's possible the boat moved a bit due to the waves (like in the kissing pics) but for some reason I think it's more probable that 1) there's more than one paparazzi taking pictures of them or 2) the paparazzi is on a boat near them. Also take a look at the angles of the pictures. It's not just the land behind them that changes, but the first two pictures are taken higher up than the bottom two. The angle wouldn't change that drastically with waves. I think it's two different view points.

4th - bottom right. The boat shifted a little. Harry finished his wine (quickly by the looks of it - I think there was a third picture two I didn't include). They also seem further apart. I think Olivia shifted so she's resting back on her hands and one of her legs is bent near Harry.

Body language: not much to analyze. It's mainly just the order of pictures and the extremely different angles of them. You can also see the reflection of the land in the top right picture (like on the glass) so we know they're right by those rocks. It's just two different angles.

Swimming

- So I think these pictures are next. I'm mainly basing it off of Olivia's hair and the fact that her swimsuit straps are still up.

Body language: This whole sequence is just kind of weird. He clearly went swimming first, came up to dry himself off when she came down, then she went swimming alone. Maybe it's my fear of swimming but I wouldn't want to go alone. Could be independence on their part but it could also be just them needing a break. Also notice how we haven't gotten any actual swimming pictures (because they swam separately).

Laying Down

- Okay real talk: why is Harry's whole ass crack just out for the world to see lol

Anyways, I think it started with the top pictures of them on their sides. Then I think Olivia spotted the paps, Harry flipped over on his stomach (his pants also shimmying down in the process) and they quickly kissed for the camera. He also whispers something to her. Then I think they read and then sunbathed like in the bottom pics.

Body language: These pictures are hard because they're laying down without sleeping so I might be off in my educated guesses. There's not really much going on, minus Harry's very serious "reading" face (why is he holding his chin like that? No one naturally does that lol).

The kiss pics are harder to analyze because there's not much going on, minus the fact Olivia spotted the camera before hand. Also both their legs are spread very far apart which could either just be how they're laying down (laying down body language is harder to read) or it's a signal of power or dominance. But usually that's just the analysis from when someone's standing so again, idk how to interpret them laying down. Could just be a comfort position.

Then there's the whispering, It's kind of weird that he would be whispering though considering they're alone. Maybe there was sound in the background we obviously can't hear and he wanted to get closer. Maybe he didn't want his lips being read (after all - they're on camera).

And then the last pictures are hard to read. I kind of get the feeling they fell asleep lol They both seem a bit disheveled. I'm mainly looking at their leg placement though. Their upper bodies are pretty close but their lower halves aren't which isn't indicative of anything sexual. Harry's legs are spread pretty wide and he keeps moving them. Moving legs could be a sign of impatience or attraction. It could also be something called an "attraction rejection" game (something that's supposed to invite the other person to chase after them). Typically that's when sitting though (like bouncing your leg) so in this case I think it's just Harry being relaxed. I think he's pretty content there (hate to say it) so he's just chilling out. He swings them and spreads them and then goes on his toes at one point? I think that was to help move his body though and give himself some leverage. Also pay attention to Olivia because she looks as though she's leaning away from him. Her ankles are crossed away from Harry and her body is angled towards the other end of the boat.

Snorkeling Pictures

The only reason I'm not including these is because there's nothing to analyze. It's just pictures of them going in a little boat so Harry can snorkel. Not sure if he was the only one or what the deal was with that but there's only like 4/5 pictures of that and there's nothing really significant about it.

Anyways, that's my spiel. My general opinions on everything as a whole is that it's pretty awkward and uncomfortable to look at. Most of the pictures are stiff and not once does Harry even smile. Facial expressions are very telling. He smirks barely in one of them but that's one out of close to 80 pictures. Actually, he barely smiles in every single picture of him and Olivia to date. There's one smiling picture I can think of but the rest are pretty neutral and tense. Olivia smiles though, but it's clear that Harry doesn't. Either he doesn't want to be there, he has stage fright from being watched, or that's just his "romantic face". I don't think the latter is probable though considering all the pictures we get of him being smiley and goofing around. I've linked a really good post about this down below. I recommend checking it out.

If you want specific thoughts or opinions on like one picture let me know. Also let me know if I missed anything (I didn't analyze every single picture btw).

Before I go, I want to gift you with something:

So I was asking for the link to the yacht because I wanted to see just how private the boat was and the answer is: it's not. I'll link it down below. But yeah I edited a picture to show you just how obvious these kissing pictures were. They weren't being secretive or anything like that. They were very much out in the open. It's kind of awkward to look at it this way but enjoy:

Yacht link

Pictures link (they're also on almost every media outlet and brought to you by Backgrid)

Check out this really good body language analysis post

#holivia body language #holivia stunt #fauxlivia #holivia pr stunt

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roll-da-credits · 3 years

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Lycoris Radiata Pt. 2 -Deku x Reader-

Inspired by the piano piece, "Lycoris Radiata," Written by Spikes, played by MusicalBasics.

Highly recommend listening to it whilst reading.

[1] [2] [3]

Word Count: 1.7k

When a childhood love shows up after being lost to time, it's unnerving to be presented by something so familiar yet different. Deku lost to his own love and presented with the stresses of life and unrequited love, it isn't easy to see the world with an unbiased gaze.

!WARNING!

(This is for the entire series and not just this part)

BIG TW for death, suicide, abuse,

Minor TW for death imagery, toxic relationship, toxic friendship, toxic shit all around

A/n: I hope all of my little details are noticed by you guys because it did take a long time to take into consideration all of the details, I hope you enjoy this.

After reuniting with you in that park, Deku found himself longing to hang out with you even more. Longing to hear your stories and longing to tell you his adventure as a pro. So, that’s exactly what he did.

Every time he had an off-day or a patrol near where you worked or resided. He would always stop by, say hello, catch up, talk about your day.

On not so rare occasions he’d also meet your boyfriend at the same place. When questioned about it he realized your boyfriend worked at the same place you did. It wasn’t very odd to him so he simply laughed it off and considered how lucky you were to be in the same place as your loved one very often.

“There was also this one time where they tripped and spilled the coffee on another barista! It was hilarious!!!” Your boyfriend laughed out loud behind the display of pastries, chatting with Deku.

You looked away rather quickly after he talked about that moment, “Are you ok Y/n?” Deku queried. “Ah they’re fine, they’re just embarrassed. I mean who wouldn’t be, it was their first day.”

Deku grinned and shook his head slightly, reminiscing about all the times he’s embarrassed himself with you in front of people or embarrassed himself in front of you. He smiled at it, without realizing his gaze slowly becoming pinker. Pinker with adoration and love for you.

After all these years, you still held the same grace in his eyes. Of course, you changed a little bit, people change over time. But to him, the best parts of you still remained. You were still the perfect person he would’ve loved to spend his entire life with.

He quickly darted his eyes away from your form making another cup of coffee for a customer, realizing the fact that your boyfriend had gone quiet. Most likely because of the fact Deku was staring at his lover.

“I’m sorry I blanked out,” Deku tried his best to apologize, “What were you saying again?”

For a split second Deku could feel rage beneath your boyfriend’s eyes, it was expected of course. No one would want their significant other to be stared at.

But just as quickly as that rage rose, your boyfriend switched the topics and went back to his chipper move. Though from his already pink-tinted eyes, Deku missed the way his hand gripped the metal prongs used to get the pastries, a little bit tighter.

The next day he came over to the café you worked at, and unlike usual you didn’t greet him from behind the counter. You stayed focus on your work.

Deku couldn’t help but stare once again at your adorable focusing form. Every time he looked at you, though he has yet to come to terms with it, everything else in the room disappears. His eyes, mind, soul, body, and heart all focus on you.

“You must really like our stuff huh?” Your boyfriend interrupted his train of thought and Deku had to mentally scold himself for staring once again.

You also seemed to snap out of your trance and locked eyes with him, you offered him a small smile before rushing back to take the orders of other customers.

Deku, like he would always every other day, ordered his usual. Talked a little bit with your boyfriend, liking him more and more by the day. Then leaving after he had finished his favorite red velvet cupcake you made and morning coffee, oddly enough without talking to you the entire day.

It wasn’t until the next week would he be able to come to your café again, exhausted, tired, and drained.

The week on his last trip to your café swamped him with terribly mentally draining missions and failures. He had failed to rescue the final person from being trapped underneath rubble, after saving her entire family, before he could run in the rubble fell. Instantly killing the person.

A sprout of red blood spilled from her body as her family surrounded it and cried. Deku knelt down and faced the family, his hands stained red from the blood on the floor. He cried and apologized over and over again.

The family stopped his apologies and reassured him it was not his fault.

After clearing out the rubble, the family went over to Deku and invited him to a burial ceremony that exact night. Since their Islamic tradition pushed them to bury the body as soon as possible.

Deku obviously accepted, realizing this could be a way to get through with his own feelings. As if reminding him that people die and that he couldn’t save everyone.

The ceremony was held in a gravesite extremely close to your café, a graveyard he didn’t even notice when visiting your café. To him, the entire thing ended in a flash and after once again apologizing to the entire large family gathered there. He decided to stay and apologize to the girl he couldn’t save.

He felt a foreboding sense of fear of this ever happening again. She was in the wrong situation and no one could’ve saved her if they wanted to save the entire family as well. From the corner of his eye, he saw a beautiful red flower blooming and immediately thought of you.

To him, it was extremely odd to find a flower blooming in a graveyard but he thought it was fitting. The flower had long red petals that curved downwards, red strings of stigma protruding out holding pollen on its tips. He didn’t know what the plant was, nor did he care honestly, he thought it was an incredibly beautiful gem to grow wildly in a graveyard.

Deku stood and plucked a few of them, putting some on the girl’s grave and leaving with a few to bring to you.

Though he found himself unable to go to your café since once more he was swamped with work. He placed the flowers in water, but they seemed to die rather quickly. So, he threw it out before he got the chance to give it to you.

At long last, he was able to visit you. He was rather ecstatic when he saw that your boyfriend was absent from his work. Meaning during your break, he got to have you for himself.

Obviously, he was exhausted and drained, though that would never stop him from babbling nonsense to you. Which he noticed you were enjoying yourself, but you seemed a bit more fidgety than usual. He asked you what was wrong, only to have you brush it off.

He found it slightly frustrating that despite how close you were together, you didn’t trust him enough yet to tell him how you felt. Then the topic of what he did the last week came up.

Deku told you all about the girl he couldn’t save and the flower he found. He asked if you knew the flower and if you could make it bloom right in front of both of you with your quirk. You laughed at his rather childish request but obliged.

“Of course I can silly.” You concentrated your mind to the middle of the table and slowly the same red flower erupted from the middle of the table.

Deku grinned ear to ear and complimented you on your quirk. “You’re incredible as always. I’ve always wanted to ask you so many questions about your quirk but I don’t really think I have the time right now since I have to patrol very soon. But OH do you know what flower this is by the way? I know you love red flowers and I just like the way it looks and how it’s so pretty growing in a place where dead things are you know like in a gra-”

Your sweet laughed cut his rambling short. “Izuku, breathe, I see you still ramble a lot. No, I don’t really know what flower it is, I've just seen it from animes.”

Before Deku could prod you further about the anatomy of the plant or if you could find the flower’s name for him. You quickly turned the subject to a different thing. Letting the spider-like flower in the middle of the table die out rather slowly.

“Hey Izuku, I’ve been wanting to ask.” Deku hummed in reply, “What do you think of my boy-”

But a shriek of pain suddenly filled the café. Deku’s hero instincts caused him to stand up and run immediately to the source. Everything in his eyes went in slow motion.

A woman froze in her spot as a truck rammed against her, just mere inches from Deku’s grasps. The woman immediately got run over just as the driver pressed the breaks.

Deku knelt down on her bleeding body, warm pools of red staining his clothes. Yet another life he couldn’t save. He looked around half expecting to see the looks of disappointment in people’s eyes, and yet all he saw was a pity.

After all, he was a hero, he had to be ready to be able to deal with these situations. Even if it meant forcing himself to get used to the red tint on him from all the blood.

“Y/n look!” A middle-school Deku urged you to look at his hand, a tiny little spider crawled on it. He found the little critter rather adorable.

Yet you found it a little bit more terrifying than him. “How could you hold it so calmly Izuku!!!” You almost shrieked in horror as he tried to pass the spider over to you.

He laughed and continued observing the spider. “Where did you find it anyways??? There are barely any spiders here.” You questioned him further.

Deku merely shrugged, “I found it on that tree, it had pretty red flowers I want to give you…” Realizing what he just said his face turned red and quickly backtracked, “Because you got that perfect score in that final test!!! I just wanted to give you a gift and I know how much you liked red flowers and I’m going to go to a separate school very soon. I don’t know where you’re going, but you know I’m going to UA and going to be the number one hero after I graduate. But I wanted to give you a gift and red flowers seem really cute and if I picked them myself it would be even cuter and I know it's weird and I hope you don’t think I’m we-”

His rambling stopped when he felt something warm on his cheek. “It isn’t weird at all Izuku. I think it’s really cute. Also don’t think so much about that kiss. You seemed too lost in thought so I wanted to snap you back to reality.”

Your funny and mischievous ways of toying with him made his heart ache a tiny bit more. He knew you didn’t realize what you were doing to him was making him fall deeper and deeper to the depths of love.

“Anyways put that spider back on the tree, I want to tell you about this guy that I met the other day.”

He closely listened to your rambles about a boy you seemed head over heels for. He just smiled and agreed to everything. He tuned out every time you gushed about him, the ache in his chest growing heavier and heavier.

He had to be selfless.

After all, if he was going to be a hero, he had to be able to control his emotions. Even if that meant pushing down the urge to tell you to be with him instead, deep inside.

#deku angst #izuku midoriya #deku x reader #izuku x reader #midoriya angst #deku fluff #my hero academia #mha #bnha #boku no hero academia #mha x reader #deku x you #izuku midoriya x you #bnha x reader #izuku fanfic #deku fanfiction

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dr-mizmix · 5 years

Text

My sunshine(part 1/?)

Many people have already written about this but I couldn't help it. This fic follows the headcanon in which Five kills Dave.

TRIGGER WARINGS

warzone/mental breakdown

Word count: 1500+

13+

Enjoy!

“It's just another name, it's just another mission” Five never thought about who he had to eliminate. It wasn't worth the time thinking about their lives and getting involved in an emotional level. That would be irrational and compromise the mission. It didn't matter if they were innocent, guilty, men, women or children Five just wanted to get the job done so he could move forward to the next one until the day he finished his equations or his contract whatever came first.

“Eliminate Dave Katz at all costs”

As soon as Five read the name, it made him wonder “Huh, this is weird. I wonder what this soldier soldier must have done for the temp comision to send me instead of letting him die at warzone.” He then looked to Dolores who remained motionless “............” Five then tried to act unbiased “You are right Dolores, that's none of ours business," he read again the name and location “we should get going.”

After that he packed for his unusual destination, even for a time traveling hitman like himself 1968 Vietnam.

While Five was onto his grim mission Dave Katz, his future victim, was having a great time with another time traveler who happened to be a Hargreeves too, but whose plans of what to do with him couldn't be more different.

At the disco Klaus was killing it the dance floor when discretely he winks Dave who has been watching him from the distance. He takes this gesture as a signal and starts to slowly approach him while dancing “Haha, you have some nice moves” Klaus decided to cautiously flirt with him trying to see where he could go “Really? I could teach you some of them if you wanna” Dave followed Klaus’ game “Oh, and how much would it be for the lessons?” he wished this was 2019 and not 1968 “Well, I would usually charge a lot to know the secrets of my moves.” Dave kept getting closer to him “Oh really?” he said with a playful smile “Yeah but because you are obviously desperate I'll make you a deal. I will lower my price to just one shot of whatever it is your favorite drink.” he knew that if he said to anyone else he could get in trouble. But not to Dave “Then it's settled. Bartender two shots of whiskey please! My treat.” After that they danced together all evening with the excuse of teaching each other dance moves.

“Klaus” Dave called him in a really low tone but he caught his attention “Follow me” They went together to a secluded area. “Are we allowed to be here?” Klaus tried being cautious but Dave made his thoughts disappear in less than a second “What, what are we?” Klaus didn't know how to answer. “I don't know, what am I to you?” Dave thought for a moment “I feel like I can trust you with my life, I would say that you are my friend but that would be lying to myself” Klaus closed his eyes “Keep going” Dave closed his eyes too “You are the most kind,wonderful, brave and handsome person that I've ever met” Dave felt like his heart was about to to leave his body, when Klaus wrapped his arms around him “You are very wrong, because you are the most handsome, strong, brave and vulnerable person I've ever met and you clearly know yourself” Dave got as close as he could to Klaus and when their lips were almost touching he whispered “May I?” to which Klaus responded “Yes you can” They shared a long kiss, when they separated Dave was incredibly blushed “Did I do it wrong?” Klaus giggled and started playing with Dave's hair “No! Why would you say that” Dave looked kind of embarrassed “I'm kind of new to this thing” Klaus then gently grabbed his face “Don't worry, we can do whatever you want” Dave hugged him and a slow song started playing “I've, I've never danced to anything like this before” Klaus smiled and placed their hands on the position for a slow dance. “Hey remember I told you I'd teach you how to dance” Dave shaked his head smiling and they continued dancing through the whole night.

Several months have passed since the night Dave and Klaus shared their first kiss. Since then they've been secretly dating. So far no one noticed anything more than them being really good friends. That or they prefer to ignore it. They even got themselves some matching tattoos which Dave chose. In their way to the front, at the bus, Dave seemed distant “Today it's going to be tough” Klaus puts his arm around him “You always say that, and look at us! We only get so emotionally scarred for life!” He tried to joke around it to see if Dave would relax a bit “Right, right” Klaus started to get worried “Are you ok?" “Well It's just that I heard that my squad is going for the front line this time and I I…”Dave couldn't continue. There was a pause “Is that all?Then I will be going with you”Dave shaked his head with a sad smile “Come on Klaus you know that we can't do that. We are in different squads” Klaus though for a moment “Well then tell someone from your squad that today is their lucky day because I'm not letting you go alone.” Dave laughed “You are going to make some lucky bastard very happy”

Five loaded his trusty rifle and waited for the perfect moment when nobody would notice him. It was weird to witness all those people dying in front of him but Five had to constantly remind himself that it was none of his business. Chaos arises in the trenches and Five decided to shoot his target, knowing help wouldn't come. He activated the trigger and the job was done. A man starts screaming with a somewhat familiar voice. Five feelt startled by it and decided to take a closer look. “Something feels wrong”

Meanwhile the in the trenches Klaus was screaming for help “Medic! Medic!” He held Dave in his arms “You're going to ok Dave, you'll get through this” Dave placed his hands behind Klaus head “I'll be ok Klaus I know I'll be” Klaus cried even harder “Stay with me Dave please, I'll take you with me” Dave closed his eyes “Sing for me” Klaus couldn't think of any song until words started flowing almost automatically from his mouth “You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…” Dave grabbed his hand “You make me happy when skies are gray…” Klaus tightened his grip “You'll never know dear how much I love you…” Dave's hand relaxed a bit “Please don't take” Dave opened his eyes “my sunshine” they both smiled “I love you” Dave lost all his grip “Away… ” Klaus looked at Dave, he didn't move “Dave? Dave! Medic! Goddammit I need a need a goddamm medic!”. As he realized that help wouldn't arrive, he looked Dave's lifeless body and laid on it crying. “He's dead. He's dead” his mumbling kept going until it became unintelligible.

Dolores in his back as always stayed silent. “Is just the screaming, he shouldn't have found him so fast. We are in the middle of warzone.” He made a pause to get Dolores perspective. “It's just” he squinted his eyes in an attempt to see the man's forearm, Five sighed as he saw the man wore long sleeves and looked back at Dolores “You are right Dolores, I have no family anymore” He closed his eyes trying to forget the familiar pitch. “What would they be doing here anyway?”He picked up his stuff and left as he never had been there. He was now awaiting for his next assignment.

“Eliminate President Kennedy at all costs”

When Five found himself asking “is it worth it? Is it worth killing l so many people to go back knowing that the future is doomed?” He remembered Vanya and the rest of his siblings and found a reason to keep living.

But this was not the moment to think about his siblings, this was a moment of action.

As Five used his briefcase for the last time he thought of his siblings, and while it was kind of hard to admit, he started questioning if they would accept him. They only knew him for 13 years and he is now 58. What is he going to tell them? He'd been alone for 40 years and now the feeling of being able to come back to his family terrifies him. But it didn't matter now, the apocalypse doesn't wait for anybody.

He arrived at his destination, there he started apply his equations to time travel back his family. He'll show Dolores she's wrong. He knew his arrival would probably cause a huge anomaly so he expected his family waiting for him. What he didn't expect was that one screaming man from his last mission in Vietnam. The first face he saw “Klaus” It suddenly became clear. He got distracted over that fact. So much so that his body started morphing into his 13 years old self.He finally went through it.

“Shit”

I will continue this fic in the near future so stay tuned!

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