hell day today and i'm only two hours into my EIGHT HOUR SHIFT

Hi I just recently discovered your blog and I’m in love with your writing! I have a little request if you don’t mind. The brothers (and undateables I’d you want to) finding MC bruised and beaten and later discovering they got into a fight with another demon. Thank you in advance if you decide to write this!

Awww thank you so much! I might end up doing the Undateables in another post, but I'll just stick to the Brothers for this one.

And thanks for requesting 😊

TWs: violence, vague s*xual assault

Spoiler warning: 1st year spoilers in Lucifer's and vaguely in Belphie's section

~

Lucifer:

Was checking out the area under Diavolo's orders.

Apparently there have been some people sneaking around in the old Colosseum and normal methods to keep other demons away from the historical landmark have been futile.

That and word has made it's way that some criminals have been using the place to secretly make dealings

So when he got there, he had expected to find some such people lurking around

Instead he found MC on the ground in the center, bruised and bleeding with their arm bent in a very concerning way.

He rushed up to them, calling their name and checking them for signs of life.

Honestly, the man was having major flashbacks to the day he lost his sister.

This was exactly where Lilith fell and Lucifer had to watch his sister, all broken and in pain until Diavolo came and he had to make the deal that changed everything

The deal that eventually led to MC's existence

Yet here they were now, in exactly the same place and state and the demon couldn't help but break down for a minute with panic he tried so hard to conceal.

The human let out a groan and the man could only sigh in relief.

"MC, oh thank the Devil..."

"Luce...?"

"You'll be alright." He promised. "I'll take you over to have Simeon heal you."

Despite the internal panic and flashbacks of such a traumatic event, he still handled the situation well.

Once MC was all healed up, he asked them what happened.

Apparently, they found a note that someone had stuffed in their school bag, asking for them to meet at the Colosseum.

They thought it was weird, but curiosity had gotten the better of them so they went and were attacked while exploring the ancient building.

The demon had meant to kill her, but sensed Lucifer approaching so they dropped the human and ran for it.

Ends up getting as much info from them about the attacker as he can.

Even if MC doesn't want the demon to die for what they did, they get no say in the matter.

Because of their status as exchange student, this attack is a political issue and the consequences Lord Diavolo warned his people about originally must be put into play.

Politics aside though, Lucifer would never let any being who hurt MC get away with it.

Becomes a lot stricter with what they can and cannot do

Like, they're not even allowed to go for a walk around the block without either him or his brothers accompanying them.

Even changes up their class schedule to make sure they have at least one of his brothers with them per class and they even have to walk MC to their next one.

Any arguments about this from MC or the brothers fall on deaf ears.

He will never let anyone lay a hand on them again.

Mammon:

School day had ended and he was on his way to pick MC up from their class.

Since Lucifer decided the day they came that he was responsible for their safety, he always had to do stuff like this.

He was late today though since his teacher held him back after class.

Blah blah F on the test, blahh blah summer school, blaah blahh blaaaah. Whatever man; he wasn't listening

And because of them, he was late. So much so that when he arrived at the human's classroom, they weren't there.

Lowkey panicked.

Shit. Shit shit shit, where'd they go???

Practically runs in the halls trying to find them

Knows Lucifer will have his head for this if he can't track 'em down.

Ends up hearing some kind of ruckus in the courtyard

And finds a big group of students forming a circle and chanting "Fight!"

"Oh yell!" Is momentarily distracted from his problem and joins the group. "Fight! Fight! Fight--."

Oh shit. That's his human in the circle!

Mammon's brain just started buffering as he watched MC dodge and weave, even getting some good hits in. The second brother was actually pretty impressed.

The lower demon in the fight eventually lost his footing and fell to the ground, giving an opening for MC to give a big kick between his legs and the demon let out a shrill scream. His green skin started smoking and changed to grey as it hardened and suddenly seemed more like stone than a person.

The circle of students started cheering and Mammon's jaw practically hit the floor.

Holy shit, the human did it!

MC fell the ground, panting heavily and bruised from head to toe.

Mammon finally rushed up to them.

"Damn, MC! You're gonna give me a heart attack!"

All of a sudden, some students started running and others just quickly jumped back, revealing Lucifer and Diavolo.

....yep, he's dead.

The two older demons started asking MC questions as they caught their breath and Mammon tried to sneak away.

Lucifer grabbed his brother by his jacket, but otherwise paid him no mind as MC told their tale.

Apparently this demon that sits behind them in their Devildom History class had been giving them crap for a while; calling them names and pushing them around. Today they even started touching them in places that made them wanna break the demon's hand.

MC snapped and told them such. The demon only grinned. Honestly, he was probably waiting for them to say that.

From there, he dragged them out by their hair and the rest is rather obvious.

Diavolo had some of his men carry the demon away. Apparently, the stone-like skin is defense mechanism, essentially the equivalent of a turtle hiding in their shells for that sub-race of demon.

The prince assured MC that the demon will be dealt with and tasked Lucifer with getting them healed up.

Mammon was hung upside down from the roof for a few hours for letting this happen, but MC was patched up and okay in the end.

Leviathan:

He usually buys all of his otaku stuff off of Akuzon

But occasionally, he likes to go out and by manga at this store downtown.

It's a once in a blue moon sort of thing, but he still does it

MC felt like taking a walk so they joined him

The two explored the shop as Levi fanboyed about seemingly every other series he passed.

The otaku had already started a pile of manga he planned to buy.

He didn't even notice when MC left his side until he approached the counter to pay

Boy just assumes you bailed on him at first and sinks into self-loathing mode

Until he heard a scream from outside.

He abandoned his manga and raced out, just in time to see another demon run for it and MC leaning against the building.

Their right arm was bleeding from the holes and claw marks made into it.

The third brother started freaking out and rushed them home, even leaving his books there.

When they get back, Lucifer patches them up with a first aid kit and a little bit of a potion.

MC explains how they were shopping with Levi when all of a sudden they saw Beel outside the store waving at them

She went out to talk to him, but then suddenly, it wasn't Beel anymore.

Apparently, it was a shapeshifting demon and, since they specifically choose Beel's form to take, Lucifer assumed that they must have been watching them for a while and planning this attack. They likely chose Beel because they knew he was someone MC would let their guard around.

Levi felt like crap for letting them get hurt, but MC said it was their fault for being tricked.

Lucifer decided it was both their faults and gave them both a long lecture

Satan:

The fourth brother invited MC out for coffee

The blonde actually really likes the atmosphere of coffee shops and wanted to share it with them

The two ordered their coffee and sat at their table while talking about books. He recently read a book on artic fauna from the human world and was comparing the information he read with their own knowledge

It was a very relaxing experience like most of MC's quality with Satan.

Before the two of left, MC had to stop in the restroom.

That demon waited patiently for the human at their table, but when almost ten minutes went by, he became a bit annoyed and puzzled.

Not wanting to be rude, but also ready to leave, Satan approached the bathroom door

He paused mid knock when her heard a low growl followed by a cry from MC

Now in his demon form, the blonde kicked the door off its hinges. It wasn't locked or anything, but the man was super pissed.

Found a demon pressing MC, who had a gash in their head, against the opposite wall

'An eye for an eye' is more or less the philosophy he followed here, or rather, a head for a head.

He took the demon and slammed his head into another wall over and over again.

MC had to run up and tell him to stop after the other demon passed out.

They left the demon on the floor of the bathroom and Satan, with his arms around MC to keep them close, headed back to House of Lamentation

The human didn't want the other brothers to see them like this and worry so Satan snuck them into his room and went to get the first aid kit.

It was quiet between the two as he patched them up.

"I'm sorry for scaring you." He said as he finished with their stitches. "Seeing you hurt like that just made my blood boil. They deserved it, but you shouldn't have had to watch."

"It's okay... thank you for saving me."

The two spent the rest of the night huddled together in his room, reading and just settling down from the incident.

Asmodeus:

Shopping trip!

Asmo was a bit too enthusiastic about it, but that's part of why MC was all too willing to go

He mainly just wanted to see MC in cute outfits, but also bought a few for himself

Any self-consciousness MC might feel on her own is long gone when they spend time with him. He's always hyping them up and complimenting them and overall making them feel beautiful.

Time spent with Asmo is always a good time and well spent.

The fifth brother does actually leave their side for a bit after they found someone hot to flirt with

MC didn't mind and just let the Avatar of Lust do his thing as they continued to look through the racks.

At some point a very good looking demon approached them and started flirting with them

It became obvious that this dude was one of Asmo's demons, another demon of lust

Even with this in mind though, their attention really did make the human feel special, even if they probably said such sweet words to everyone

MC underestimated the demon, thinking that just because Asmo wasn't the aggressive sort that the demons under him wouldn't be either

Ends up following him out of the store and makes out with him against the wall of the building

They didn't understand why they were doing this, but the human's mind had been feeling foggy for a while now.

Suddenly, MC's whole body started to feel heavy and they were so dizzy that their vision was just a blur

Ends up passing out and waking up a few minutes later to Asmo crying as he stood over them and begging them to wake up

"Azzy?"

The man threw his arms around them.

Finds out that the fifth brother went looking for them when he saw that they weren't in the store anymore. He came outside just in time to see one of his underlings try to suck their soul out of their body.

As soon as they heard their superior's voice though, they dropped the human and ran.

The two went straight home and Asmo was extra clingy with them for the rest of the day.

Beelzebub:

The two of them went together to Madam Screams since they were both craving sweets.

Beel was really hungering for a cherry pit pie (though of course he planned on order other things as well) while MC was really hankering for some chocodevil cake.

The two happily got in line to pick out their treats, but MC stepped out to get a clearer view of the case with all of the treats to see if they wanted anything different instead.

Ends up getting attacked by a famished, minor demon of gluttony and slammed down on the glass case containing the sweets.

Beel jumped into gear; he changed into his demon form and threw the other demon off of them.

During the skirmish, the two ended up breaking down a wall and crushing three tables.

When the fight ended, the big guy rushed up to MC to make sure they're okay.

The human was bleeding and had a lot of glass shards embedded in their back and arms.

Though worried, the sweet boy keeps himself together and carefully takes out the bigger shards.

Rushes them home, treats forgotten.

Once home, Lucifer is the one who gets the rest of the glass out of their back and cleans up their wounds.

Beel stays by their side and lets them squeeze their hand when Luce's clean up hurts too much.

Luce gives his younger brother a lecture for all the stuff he had broken back at Madam Screams, but is surprisingly lenient with him.

The older brother didn't say it (and honestly, he should have), but he was proud of his brother for stepping up and protecting MC, but at the same time, expected nothing less from him.

Yeah, Lucifer will likely get sent the bill, but MC's safety is more important.

Belphegor:

Belphie had fallen asleep during class; no surprise there.

The rest of the students left the room when class ended, but the seventh brother continued to sleep at his desk.

MC found his sleeping face cute and didn't want to wake the demon

So instead, they hung around the classroom, waiting for the Avatar of Sloth to awake; the school day was over and the classroom wasn't going to be used for anything else so they thought there'd be no harm in hanging around.

Sadly, they were wrong.

Another student, a jerk from their Seductive Speechcraft class had waited for them to leave the classroom in order to harass them, but when they didn't come out, he came in.

Eventually had them backed up against the wall and forcing their hand up their shirt, causing the human to yelp.

He tried covering their mouth with his other hand, but MC bit them, angering the demon and leading them to putting their hands around their throat as he yelled at them.

The entire time, the minor demon never saw the Avatar of Sloth sleeping at his desk.

Big mistake.

Belphie woke up and saw the scene before him, turning into his demon form real quick.

Didn't hesitate to grab a hold of the bastard and make him let go of MC, who was now gasping for much needed air.

The seventh brother used his miasma aura to weaken the demon as he was now the one doing the choking with the lower demon.

MC covered their face and cried in their corner on the floor.

It was too similar to That Night™️ and the human was bordering on panic attack because of it.

Once the minor demon passed out, Belphie turned and saw MC crying on the floor.

He rushed up to them, but stopped once MC started screaming and begging for him to stay back.

That look in their eyes... it was the same fearful look he remembered from That Night™️

And it killed Belphie inside because he never wanted them to be scared of him ever again.

He waited for the human to calm down and, with their permission, slowly approached them.

He wanted to hug them, but was afraid that they'd just be reminded of it even more so he held back.

Surprising him, the human hugged him instead.

He held them tight for as long as they needed and started to notice the bruises forming on their neck

The two went home after that and reported the incident to Lucifer before Belphie dragged MC with him for a nap.

He chose Beel and his' room since he knew the attic would probably be too much for them right now.

Cuddled close to them and apologized for all of it. For falling asleep and leaving them defenseless. For the other demon's attack. For scarying them. Above all, that he was sorry for That Night™️

~

Masterlist

WHW Royals Edition 👑 Part 1: Anne, Queen of Great Britain

Born: February 6th, 1665 at St James's Palace, Westminster, Middlesex, England Died: August 1st, 1714 (age 49) at Kensington Palace, Middlesex Reign: March 8th, 1702 - August 1st, 1714

I thought I’d give you guys a little intro to Anne, Queen of Great Britain as a start for my series on weirdo royals. I got big into her after seeing the Yorgos Lanthimos film The Favourite (can’t recommend enough) and that resulted in endless hours of internet wormholes about her bizarre and interesting life. I’ve read about a lot of fucked up royals in my life (truly there’s many) but it was only when I was reading about Anne that I kind of had an ‘a-ha’ moment about how really drastically the monarchial system can fuck a person up. 

Queen Anne fits this bill for me for a lot of reason; she was a surprise Queen who was woefully underprepared for ruling, which led to people pushing their political agendas on her under the guise of genuine affection. It’s hard to know if the relationships that define her legacy and life in popular culture were genuine, or if they would’ve existed at all had she not been a royal. Her legacy is muddied by the traditional, patriarchal writers of history of course and it sometimes is hard to get a clear picture of who she really was, but here are a few tidbits about her life and rule:

Anne’s signature

1. Queen Anne was born Anne Stuart, daughter of James II and Anne Hyde and raised in the traditional way for aristocratic girls, with an education that emphasized on arts, language, and music. This eventually proved to suck dick for her big time later on in life when she became queen. Traditionally, girls were purposefully taught nothing useful about politics or history because it was assumed they would never rule (cough) and this left Anne very much lacking in the political discourse department as a monarch; all of her future speeches and even remarks made around political figures would have to be scripted by advisors. If she found herself off script and not knowing what to say, it’s said that she’d sometimes “move only her lips and make as if she said something when in truth no words were uttered.”

2. 8 year old Anne first met friend Sarah Jennings (Churchill) when she was a lady in waiting at just 5 years old. As you’ll see later on, Sarah goes on to be one of the (if not the most) influential person in the Queen’s life, becoming a trusted friend and political advisor.

3. Anne was what we would probably refer to today as a ‘hot mess express’. The poor gal had a myriad of health issues, both mentally and physically, all of which only got worse as she aged. She suffered from gout and an undefined auto-immune disorder (we think) as well as a bizarre eye-watering disorder and poor vision. It’s also pretty evident that she didn’t have the best relationship with alcohol or food and most likely developed a binge eating disorder later in her life (she was very large at the time of her death and there are a few accounts of her eating to the point of puking in front of other people).

4. Besides her relationships with Sarah and Abigail Masham, Queen Anne is also known mostly known for the tragic loss of her 17 pregnancies. Of all her births she had only 5 live babies, only one of which survived beyond infancy. Her son William was also afflicted with various illnesses all of his life and died at the age of 11.

Prince William, Anne’s longest surviving child

5. Anne became queen by accident, after her Catholic father was ousted as king by her protestant brother in-law. He and her sister ruled for a short time before dying of pneumonia and smallpox respectively with no heir in place, so Anne, who supported the protestant reformation, was crowned Queen.

6. Over the years Anne and Sarah Churchill became extremely close friends, and most accounts agree that Sarah had an incredible amount of influence over Anne’s political decisions. Sarah is said to have had a more natural affinity for politics, and to have had a completely opposite disposition than Anne. Some think that Sarah may have maintained the relationship only to keep her political control.

7. A lot of people that believe that Anne and Sarah were so close because they were lovers. The pair at one time wrote each other 4 letters a day, that included things like “I had rather live in a cottage with you than reign empress of the world without you,” “Oh come to me as soon as you can that I may cleave myself to you,” one of Queen Anne’s “I can’t go to bed without seeing you… If you knew in what condition you have made me, I am sure you would pity.” I don’t think I necessarily share that opinion, for reasons you’ll see below.

8. Sarah was the only person under Anne that was allowed to speak to her without using a title. The two often used their nicknames for each other: Mrs. Morley (Anne) and Mrs. Freeman (Sarah).

Sarah Churchill, 1702

9. A lot of scholars disagree with the notion that Anne had any gay affairs with anyone, including Sarah, for a few reasons; first because, at the time, it was just apparently normal to act hella gay with your friends, particularly for royals, so excessive touching or writing wouldn’t have raised any alarms. Most historians attribute this to the extreme separation of the sexes, particularly in upper class households. Most people spent 90% of their time exclusively with people of their own gender, so it was a means to have your emotional needs met within the confines of your station. If an aristocrat started ‘friend flirting’ with you, it was also seen as rude to not reciprocate. 

10. A few other reasons Anne was probably not lesbian: she had a pretty good relationship with her husband (Prince George of Denmark), and the 17 pregnancies thing suggests that they weren’t having any problems in the bedroom department. Also, when Anne later became close friends with Sarah’s cousin Abigail, Sarah became jealous and began to spread rumors that the two were gay lovers (more on that below). This rumor probably stuck and carried over into other areas of her life. Or maybe Anne was bi and both things were true, who knows.

Anne circa 1685. All physical descriptions of Anne, especially in her later years, don’t describe her in the most glowing terms, which is insane to think about when I see portraits like this.

11. Anne began to grow distant from Sarah after her husband’s death in 1708, which all sources agree flung the queen into a huge depression. She was said to have sat by and kissed his dead body long after his death. Sarah took a tough love approach to try and snap the queen out of it, which backfired. This was when Anne began to get close to Abigail Masham, which infuriated Sarah.

12. Sarah was so mad at Anne for this that she literally wrote a song about her and Abigail being gay together, printed it out on a pamphlet, and passed it around court Mean Girls-style. The pamphlet read: “When as Queen Anne of great renown / Great Britain’s sceptre swayed / Beside the Church she dearly loved / A dirty chambermaid O Abigail that was her name / She starched and stitched full well / But how she pierced this royal heart / No mortal man can tell However for sweet service done / And causes of great weight / Her royal mistress made her, Oh! / A minister of state Her secretary she was not / Because she could not write / But had the conduct and the care / Of some dark deeds at night.” 

13. Besides Sarah, a lot of people took Anne’s relative political ignorance as an invitation to push their own political agendas. It didn’t help that her reign coincided with a rapid development of a 2 party parliamentary system, as the gap between the protestant Whigs and the Catholic Tories began to widen.

14. One of Anne’s crowning political achievements was the 1707 Act of Union uniting England and Scotland under the banner of Great Britain (she had good ideas sometimes, although it’s hard to tell if they came from her or her many influential advisors). Consequently, she was the first ruler to ever rule over united Great Britain.

15. After a series of pretty horrible strokes, poor Anne died at the age of 49 in August of 1714 with no heirs and without reconciling with Sarah Churchill. To her credit, it’s said that despite her failing health she continued to attend cabinet meetings as often as possible until her death. She is buried beside her husband and children in the Henry VII Chapel on the South Aisle of Westminster Abbey.

Sisyphus: The Myth Ep 1- A Dissection

Okay, so I’ve had some time to process what I subjected myself to today, so I’ve decided to list everything in episode 1 that is just completely insane and an example of how Not To Do it. 

I’m not an expert on Film Theory, but i’ve watched a shitton of media, plus I watch a lot of Youtube Video essays, so clearly I’m half

The episode starts off okay enough even if we get a weird exposition dump and “tense” parting scene between a father and daughter. 

We start in what presumably is the time travel terminal where people stand around in pyjamas waiting to get through.

Okay, fairly interesting if unspectacular but I’m guessing that’s the point, this is now an industry. We zoom in and get this line that made me laugh, because well...

a) humans are living creatures and b) the amount of microbial organisms on human skin is estimated to be at hundreds of billions, or more. And this kind of time travel/teleportation is always hinky because well if you think about it, how does that even work without getting into The Fly territory. I’m willing to cut this drama some slack here and maybe it’s an awkward translation besides. 

This gets... exceedingly long, but if you want a (too) in-depth summary of what happens in ep 1 and why it doesn’t work (for me) read on :D.

But then the real trouble starts, because PSH’s dad (I’m not bothering to learn the character names) says he’s not going with her and this is apparently very sudden. He then makes her repeat some lines that are supposed to create tension? Be exposition? Idk.

“Don’t trust anyone.” 

“Don’t get involved with [CSW]’s character.”

PSH get’s teary eyed, because her dad is not coming with her, but the problem with scenes like these is: I don’t know either of them and do not have an emotional connection to their parting. Sure, it tells us something about PSH (she likes her dad and is worried about him) but I also don’t know how important her dad is going to be down the line. So when PSH asks about her mom and what if her mom dies and her dad just replies everyone dies at some point I’m a bit weirded out, but not to the point where I necessarily want to know more. 

We then smashcut to PSH waking up in a world that’s more similar to ours and she does what her dad told her to do. She grabs her (very inconvenient) suitcase and runs along the tracks she woke up next to. We see that she is somewhat surprised by the running trains and also hardy enough to track on despite bleeding feet. 

Alas, creepy people in gas-masks with guns and drones are waiting for her, so she runs even harder and after some near misses (they are able to track her by some sort of radiation meter) makes it to safety. 

On top of a train car that the TWO DOZEN PEOPLE WITH GUNS AND DRONES are too stupid to check apparently. Clearly if she’s not under the train car, the detecting devices must be mistaken. So she just chills on top of the train car, sitting on her suitcase and those goons trundle off after 5 minutes presumably like they’re Assassin’s Creed Enemy NPCs.

Now we get introduced to CSW in the most insane scene i’ve ever witnessed. Honestly. 

He is just ~chilling in 1st class in an airplane, filming a douche who is rude to the plane staff and epically owning him because he’s So Smart.

First of all, I don’t know what that has to do with soggy noodles(which the other asshole complained about), since by that measure the noodles should be *undercooked* (lower boiling point means longer cooking time after all) and secondly good lord I already hate this guy. He then proceeds to Epically Own (tm) with a convenient Forbes (sorry “Eorbes”) Magazine that he is on the cover of and flirts with the plane hostess. 

So right off the bat, our impressions of CSW are supposed to be: He’s Cool (look at his hoodie and general bearing), he’s Smart (debatable), he’s nice to The Help (I guess???) stands up to bullies, and most importantly he’s fucking rich. I guess we’re also supposed to get the impression that he’s arrogant, maybe a bit of an asshole, but still cool and everything. 

If this had been where the scene had stopped I would have rolled my eyes and then just continued on watching. But no, the writers thought: “Schooling some sexist rich asshole isn’t enough to show off how Cool and Smart and Cocky our main character is. Also he likes the ladies.” Look at him, he’s Tony Stark only from South Korea!!!

So shortly after he sits down, and we have the first moment with CSW where he connected with me emotionally (he sees the ghost of his dead brother and the way he says “because ... you’re dead.” and I thought OOOH this I can work with), the cockpit windshield is hit by what looks to be a suitcase (DUN DUN DUUUN) and something crashes into one of the engines, causing it to explode and catch fire. 

The pilot is knocked out and unconscious and even the co-pilot loses consciousness (after conveniently unlocking the cockpit lock). CSW is the only one who goes to check on the pilots, having grabbed a fanny pack from his onboard luggage and quickly assessing the situation he revives the copilot and welds the hole in the windshield shut with some ducttape out of his fannypack and a plastic notepad. IT’S VERY EFFECTIVE! They did it in WW2, or so CSW tells us so you know it’s true.

I’m not sure that ‘s how plane windshields and duct tape and plastic notepad thingies work, but well the plane is still in freefall we have more important things to worry about :).

The electrics are all on the fritz, the copilot cannot get control of the plane and so CSW takes a seat in the captains chair (having foisted the captain out of it, not even he is so crass to sit on some unconscious dude’s lap i guess) and quickly calculates that they have 3 min and 30 secs for CSW to restart the electronics before the plane crashes. So he hands the co-pilot HIS PHONE with a timer on it for 3.5 minutes so the co-pilot can tell him when 30 seconds have passed. Instead of idk, contacting Air Traffic Control or ANYONE he just sits there and lets his big boy brain work. 

After 30 seconds he has an idea, because he’s Tony Stark-ing it up like crazy now and can just figure out the electronics of a plane cockpit in 30 seconds, but guess what. HIS PHONE RINGS. AND HE ANSWERS IT, because he’s devil-may-care and “haha look at this, friend, i’m in the cockpit of a crashing plane we have 2 minutes before i’m dead.”

Said friend is calling him from the board meeting of CSWs company, bc of course the board is ~unhappy with CSWs antics (I gotta say I can’t blame them) and the friend doesn’t believe it at first, when he says he’s in a crashing plane, but checks on the news to see it’s true. 

I ... I don’t think news work like that, we’ve gone 5 minutes from the initial troubles till now, there won’t be news reports all over the media yet. THEY’RE NOT EVEN TALKING TO AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL YET. Hell he even tells his friend to call 119 or the airport for help. I just... I’m very forgiving of a lot of things in a drama when it comes to writing. I’m willing to ignore obvious blindspots in a narrative, if I think the narrative is strong enough to support whatever it’s trying to say. At this point what could calling the police or the airport do, they have like 90 seconds left...

I don’t know what the writers are trying to tell me with this scene though? It’s so stupid, so unrealistic and CSW is so unpleasant and weird in it, because he tells his friend that he has to confess to taking out the friend’s college girlfriend on a date while they were still together. 

Well since the drama is longer than one ep, they do make it out alive, but the fact that the co-pilot managed to safely LAND the plane (which is insane to me) gets skipped over and we just get news snippets that herald CSW as a hero who singlehandedly saved the planes passengers. 

We then get to see him in his natural habitat “convalescing” in his giant apartment where he is being showered with gifts by worshippers basically. He continues to be an asshole, but his friend tells him, one more stunt and the board will kick him. 

The board will kick the guy who just saved a plane full of lives????? Yeah right, I’m sorry but that’s just fucking stupid from the writers. Why would anyone do that, even if the board hates him, kicking him now, when he’s literally a national hero would be the worst thing they could do for the stock prices. It’s only here so the writers can shoehorn in that CSW is close to OD-ing on pharmaceuticals and that the board wants to monitor his therapy and they have a way of “forcing” him to comply. 

Also he has what looks to be a dental x-ray machine next to his bed. Someone correct me if I’m wrong but lol what’s up with these set design choices. 

His friend tells him to go to fucking therapy or else and the next scene he is actually at a therapist. 

Who’s his ex-girlfriend (they have a whole tangent about that).

Who writes a report about his therapy to the board. 

But hey at least the therapy gets us a flashback of the last time he saw his brother. Big surprise he was an asshole to him as well, so no wonder he’s traumatised by that.

After therapy he *conveniently* runs into the co-pilot who’s incoherent and beaten up and hands CSW a usb-drive. It contains video of the cockpit on the day of the crash and it’s obvious what struck the plane was a suitcase and what crashed into the engine was a human being (DUN DUN DUUUUUUN maybe someone forgot to convert feet to meters when setting up the time travel thingamabob).

As he looks at the (very pixelated) figure of the person about to crash into the engine, he suddenly sees his brother’s face and honestly this scene just made me laugh? I know it’s supposed to be haunting and more evidence of CSW’s deep trauma, but I guess at this point my brain was just completely checked out. 

And that’s what we end our introductory phase of CSW. What the fuck was that plane thing even for. To show us he’s callous in the face of danger? He’s an asshole even when he’s about to die, so he’s got a long way to go? He’s haunted by the spectre of his dead brother and the guilt he feels for not being there when he died? I got a lot of that before we had the insane Plane Adventure!!! There are literally millions of ways they could have gotten this information to the viewers and not made an absurd spectacle of the plot that means that everything afterwards just feels lame, because you already had the insanity that was this plane ride, so it can only go down tension wise.

Now we’re back to PSH, but honestly her parts are kinda boring and bog-standard “UwU I’m unfamiliar with this way of life, I don’t even know how to eat a banana (that looks *nothing* like a banana btw), so I just eat it peel and root and all. Also I’m from the Future, that means I obviously know todays LOTTERY NUMBERS.”

I know kdramas like clichés and tropes, I like them too, that’s why I watch kdramas, but you gotta give me a bit more if you want me to at least invest in PSH, because I’m sure as hell not invested in CSW. 

She gets taken in by some guy, because we can’t have her homeless all the time, and she needs someone to explain this world to her and also how to eat bananas properly and she opens her suitcase. It’s got both future-tech-y looking stuff and a pink notepad that seems to hold specific information on what needs to happen on certain days. 

She also makes this expression and I don’t know if we’re supposed to laugh because she’s not threatening or if we’re supposed to laugh because she’s not threatening, but we know she’s gonna kick ass later, haha you just thought she was harmless. I gotta say it’s the former for me.

Rarrr fierce Elite Warrior PSH coming to get you.

She tries to get in touch with CSW, already breaking one of her dad’s three commandments. Oh, I guess staying with this guy breaks the other two. Welp, so much for that then. What even was the point of that first scene...

Anyway she tries to get in touch with CSW but ofc you cant just call the richest person ever (Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos would get very angry voicemails from me if that were the case), but she manages to get his voicemail. Or a voicemail he spoke for. But oh no, she is just Not Familiar with this world and keeps having a conversation with the voicemail as if it’s CSW himself. 

CSW who has scienced his way to finding the suitcase that crashed the plane and as she begs his voicemail not to open the suitcase, of course he opens it and gasp the combination for the suitcase lock is his birthday!!! Something his brother used to do!!! 

MAYBE THAT MAN WAS HIS BROTHER AFTER ALL!!!! OH NO!! 

But thank fuck the episode is over now.

VERDICT:

Just no. Don’t do this. The latter half of the show is more standard fare, but the first 25 minutes destroy any capability of this show making sense. I can see what the writers are trying to do, but it’s so hamfisted and badly written I’m just not willing to go along.

If you want a show that also has a fantasy action aspect (and this show is all fantasy no matter how much it tries to science it up), watch LUCA instead. That show at least knows how to set a tone, how to get us invested in the characters and does exposition in a way that doesn’t feel obtrusive. 

Red Velvet Reel 4.6: A Crabapple A Day

                                          [Fic Directory]

Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)

Summary: Pancake finally gets their checkup through the Mini MeDi, a non-intrusive magic and soul scanner, and they're doing well. Undyne gives advice and then embarrasses herself.

Characters: Edge (Underfell Papyrus) & Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans) & Undyne (Underswap Undyne)

Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Awkward & Anxious Swapdyne!  Iatrophobia (fear of doctors)!  Informational discussions of monster pregnancies including length & development phases, Non-intrusive prenatal diagnostic equipment and examination using videogame logistics, a lot of pseudo-magic-science fudging game aspects, a lot of headcanons.

Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)

Note:  Hello! This is still a queued post! I’ll try to edit the links as soon as possible, but since I only have mobile access right now, it’s a little tough… But I’ll get to it eventually! Thank you for your support! <3

Undyne passed the screen over for Edge to hold. He took it gingerly, looking at the interface with renewed uncertainty.

“This is the Magical-Medical Diagnostic Display, the MMDD, better known as mini MeDi! I designed it, and Allie built it!” Her gills flared and she sounded proud, excitedly leaning over to point at several icons. It seemed fairly standard, with icon demonstrating monster stats like HP, DEF, ATK, MGC, etc.

“It’s somewhat based off of a BATTLE interface, combining the CHECK command with soul and magic type readings. That’s why it’s all black! If I were to use it on you, your body would show up like a white silhouette and your soul would look black. Like so.” She moved his hands to hold the machine up, pointing it at herself. Edge supposed it did look like the magical barrier that occurred during a BATTLE that drained color of everything but magical attacks.

“The HUD...” Undyne crushed a hand to her mouth, gnawing at her knuckles for a moment, “Wait, let me back this up...”

“So, monster pregnancies are measured in percentages, so little Pancake is literally going to have a load bar showing how far along they are. For simplicity, we divide these load points into quarters- the first quarter is roughly 25%, second quarter is about 50%, third quarter is close to 75%, and the last quarter is 98% or so!”

Edge frowned, “Why 98%? That completely disrupts the pattern...”

Undyne blinked, surprised, “Um, yeah...” She looked at the floor, twiddling her thumbs, “Well, at 100% they’re- they’re done. Um, they’re born and we’d just... check them directly... I thought it was clever, but, um, you’re right in that it’s not even...”

Edge never had the same kind of patience Red had with Alphys, or Stretch had with this easily discouraged Undyne apparently, but he was getting tired of her insecurity. Maybe if he just yelled something positive at her, she would become inspired and stop being so gloomy?

Stretch gave his hand a squeeze as though he could hear his thoughts, and spoke before Edge had a chance to say anything, “I think it’s cool and I like it. So, Pancake’s probably closest to the 25% benchmark, yeah? What does that mean?”

Undyne perked up at the subtle encouragement, continuing emphatically, “Well, 1st quarter is the souling stabilizing itself and becoming their own monster. Although from the beginning the Souling has always been there, it’s not until 25% when they establish a soul signature that’s completely independent of its parent. So, when I use this machine on you, Mr- erm, Col- uh, Gen- uh, Sir! Pancake won’t appear as a separate soul signature quite yet. They’ll just be this…  amorphous magic that’ll come up as an unidentified object with a little loading bar.”

That all seemed reasonable enough, but Edge still tensed when she made a move to take the machine. Stretch, ever sensitive to the shifting atmosphere (and the claws digging into the back of his hand,) cleared his throat, “How about a test run first, huh?”

“I’ll volunteer-“ Stretch started to stand up, but Edge reached out to grab the back of his shirt, grip tight to keep him from getting up.

Stretch didn’t miss a beat, “To operate it! Dyn-Dyn, I just point this thing at you and tap your body outline, right?”

“Uh,” Undyne clearly hadn’t been expecting that, but turned to face him anyway, “Yes, exactly!”

“Okie dokie.” Stretch held the machine up, pointing it at Undyne, glancing at Edge. His husband, almost reluctantly, tapped the heart quickly, jerking backwards as though he expected to be electrocuted. The screen readout changed, with Undyne’s silhouette becoming black and a variety of stats coming up.

“Oh, wow,” Stretch murmured to himself, “That’s really cool, I had no idea your soul signature was 20% Integrity, but that makes sense.”

“Yes!” Undyne looked pleased, “Soul signatures and magic are an imprecise science, but you’ll usually find at least trace amounts of all 7 major soul types. That’s why Monster souls appear white! It’s a fascinating area of study, and the actual makeup of your soul changes given your emotional state! Since I was just-“

Edge never thought he’d ever be bored in a doctor’s office, and yet... He focused on the little machine in front of him, poking Undyne’s soul directly a variety of times to no effect. If she wasn’t reacting at all, still talking about soul types, then maybe it really was just a diagnostic tool.

He looked up just as Undyne finished explaining something about green magic, turning the screen around so it faced her instead. It was with great effort that Edge convinced himself to finally let go, dropping it onto her lap in a way that had her scrambling to keep it from tumbling onto the floor.

Taking deep, steadying breath, Edge released his death grip on his husband’s fingers and the examination table, “You may proceed, Doctor.”

Stretch remained where he was, discreetly massaging his hand and flashing Edge a reassuring smile. Undyne held the machine up, clearing her throat as he finger hovered over the screen, “I’m going to hit this button so the machine will start scanning you, ok? Most monsters don’t really feel anything, but some monster’s report it feels like a prolonged CHECK. I promise it won’t be painful for you or Pancake. In 3… 2… 1… Moon time!”

“Moontime? Seriously?”

“I-! It’s-! YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND!”

“I wouldn’t understand?! Who sat through that whole concert…”

Edge couldn’t help cringing, but true to her word, it didn’t hurt. It was deeply unsettling and uncomfortable, like someone was trying to peel back all the layers of magic, coding, and intent that made up his entire being- but it didn’t hurt.

“Agggh!” Undyne sounded annoyed, turning to the screen in front of her with a huff, “Stop distracting me! You’re making me look incredibly rude and unprofessional in front of Edge! It’s-”

“Oh!” She looked surprised, before immediately schooling her expression into something more professional. “That’s! Unexpected!”

“What is?” Edge’s voice was calm, but he bodily shoved Stretch off the examination table and towards the screen, keeping uncomfortably still for the machine, “Is something wrong?”

“No, no, no- nothing bad! It all looks really good!” Undyne relinquished hold of the machine to Stretch as she scribbled something down on the clipboard, eyebrows furrowed in concentration.

Stretch grinned, trying to resist running his finger along the display, “Pancake’s officially at 12.5%! They don’t have much in the way of stats yet, predictably, but they’re ‘In Progress’ and also PBST_NORMAL!”

Edge wasn’t sure what that meant, but normal was encouraging, and no special indicators meant nothing was wrong, right? He returned Stretch’s smile with a small, tentative one of his own.

“Exactly! You’re just a lot further a long that I was anticipating!” Undyne tapped her pen against her teeth, “How, um, long has it been?”

“3 weeks and 4 days,” Edge forced himself not to shift uneasily, even as Undyne continued taking furious notes, “I have it marked on my calendar, if you need a precise calendar date.”

“3 weeks? Hm... And 12.5% is half a quarter...” Undyne gnawed on her pen, “So your quarters are 6?”

She looked to Stretch, who was trying to hold the screen and take a picture with his phone at the same time, “Hm? Oh, 6.5 would be a closer estimate, no?”

“Then, with 4 quarters, that’s 46. Roughly 184 days.”

“184,” Stretch confirmed with a nod, before his face fell almost comically, “184 days?! That’s! So soon?! Edge!” He turned to his husband, “That’s like no time at all?!”

Edge made an educated guess, “Until Pancake’s at 100%?”

“Exactly!” Undyne took the screen back, typing something onto it as she glanced down at the paper several times, “I’m just calibrating the machine to these parameters, and if my math and your estimates are correct-“

“They are.” 

“Then the full length of this monster pregnancy should be 184 days, about 6 months. But, magic is unpredictable, so it could be earlier or later depending on a couple of different factors.”

“Like what?” Stretch asked, looking a little nervous as he played with the strings of his hoodie, “Like LV and EXP?”

“No,” Undyne answered quickly, trying to smile reassuringly, but it came off as forced, “Queen Toriel was also concerned, but in the few observed cases, LV has not significantly affected the Souling. There haven’t been any cases or studies on the impact of a raise of EXP or LV on a Souling, but I wouldn’t, um, recommend it...”

“Is that all for today, Doctor?” Edge crossed his arms impatiently, the feeling of a prolonged CHECK starting to grate at his nerves.

“Yes-“ Undyne quickly turned the machine off, clearing her throat, “Overall your stats are excellent- but your DEF is unusually low, so that’ll definitely be something to keep an eye on-“

“Is there anything I should do to address that?” Edge cut in.

“Nothing in particular...” Undyne tapped at her cheek in thought, “There are consumable items that can raise DEF temporarily, but they won’t have a long term impact. Not unless you increase your consumption to a daily basis. You might want to consider equipping armor that has a higher DEF, at least +3, to neutralize it.”

Edge looked troubled, worrying at the ratty, frayed bandana around his throat.

“It’ll probably be fine without it though!” Undyne backpedaled immediately, glancing at Stretch in dismay, “It’s just a precaution- Soulings in their first quarter are still feeling out their magic, so they’ll initially mimic your stats. They end up balancing themselves out in the third quarter usually- well, there’s a slight chance they won’t- but they’re more sensitive to that in the second quarter anyway- but then again-“

Edge unequipped his bandana without another word, tucking it into his inventory. His face was inscrutable as he turned back to Undyne, “I will address that. Anything else?”

“Uh-Pancake’s development is coming along well, so I won’t need to see you until the end of this quarter-“ She said in a rush, unnerved by Stretch’s surprised expression, “Just, um, keep doing what you’re doing and it should be fine. Make sure to get as much sleep as possible.”

She took a deep breath, positively jumping as Edge stood up with a nod, “Thank you, Doctor. We’ll keep in touch.”

Undyne sat ramrod straight, clutching her clipboard to her chest, “Yes, ok, thank you, love you, bye.”

Edge smiled to himself as Undyne let out a mortified sound, half-collapsing onto the floor. He shared a glance with Stretch as he let the door close, careful to never once give either of them his back.

“Ohmygod-!” Undyne wheezed, latching onto Stretch and shaking his shoulders roughly, “Your husband is the scariest, most intense, sexiestmonster I’ve ever met?! It felt like he was going to eat me- but that I should thank him for the privilege?  I’m 100% a lesbian in a loving and committed relationship, but damn!“

“Yeah, uh,” Stretch laughed, gently patting her hands, “He’s got that effect on people, heh. He’ll be flattered-”

“OH MY GOD NO!” Undyne’s grip got tighter as her face went pale, “You can’t say a thing! I’m going to have to face him in a few weeks! How can I when I know he knows I think he actually kind lives up to your hype?! WHAT IF ALLIE HEARS?! No, no one must ever know!”

“Ok, ok, Doc. Thanks for today, by the way- you’re my hero, the Undying Doctor.”

She blushed, pulling her hair over her face bashfully, “You didn’t know naming conventions between doctors and wrestlers were different back then either!”

Stretch winked, before becoming uncharacteristically serious, “But I had a few more questions. Specifically, what symptoms are coming up? And talk to me a little bit more about that DEF thing too... “

[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6 - Here!] [Part 7]

How We Met: 3/3

Part 1 | Part 2 

Length: 6,091

Tuesday arrived more quickly than I wanted it to. This was partially because I never liked slogging through finals, but mostly it had to due with hanging out with Erik and Ariel that day. The three of us had agreed to meet up in the parking lot by my dorm a little after 11:15. Although I hadn’t told them that the dorm that the lot was next to was the one I lived in. I was honestly a bit proud of myself for thinking to have that extra layer of security in case things went badly. But before I went to look for them and their car, I stopped off at my room to switch out my book bag for my camera. Ana was sitting at their desk working on their last essay for finals. They were still sleeping when I left for my pre-test breakfast that morning, but now they were dressed and presentable as far as clothing and washing their face and such. I could tell that they were thinking hard when I entered the room because they looked like a human pretzel. They sat on one leg that was folded beneath their body and their other leg was bent and resting on the chair so that the knee was up by their shoulder. “How’s it going?” I teased. They transferred the pained expression that they have for their laptop’s screen to me. I partially mimicked the look in sympathy but said with some enthusiasm, “I believe in you!” “Thanks,” they sighed, already back to staring at their laptop. “Try not to pass out today, ya?” I rolled my eyes in mock annoyance. “You almost pass out all the time and then I go and do it once and you won’t let me live it down!” “Yup,” they snorted. And the important word there is ‘almost’.” I made a face to the back of their head as I set my book bag down. Then I grabbed the tube of sunscreen I had strategically placed on my desk and doused every inch of exposed skin with it. Then I put it in my camera bag before putting the bag’s strap over my head and on my shoulder so that it laid across my body. “Well I should get going and let you get back to work. Bye!” I made my hands into a heart shape and pointed it in their direction. Without looking away from their essay, they responded in kind. I giggled to myself as I headed out the door. As I walked down the steps from the 4th to the 1st floor, I checked my phone. It was 11:13 so I figured Erik and Ariel weren’t on campus yet, but would be soon. Knowing the people in our age group, I guessed it would be at least another five minutes. Which is why when I walked out the dorm’s front door I was surprised to hear an excited voice yell, “Hey Ken, we’re over here!” from the lot. Never mind. Apparently they showed up to places early rather than late. Ariel bounced up and down and waved at me from next to the passenger door of a silver convertible. The top layer of her long, wavy brown hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, with the smaller, lighter sections of it blowing somewhat in the light breeze. This time she was the one wearing a crop top. It was light blue with a flower design in the middle of the front. She was wearing some sort of high-waisted denim pants. Although they could have also been shorts. While she easily stood two to three feet taller than the cars still in the lot, I couldn’t see where the leg cuffs ended. The top of the convertible was down so I could easily see Erik sitting rigid in the driver’s seat and staring straight ahead through a pair of large dark sunglasses. Well on a normal sized person they would have been large. On him they were actually a little too small. The space he had in the car was a similar situation. It looked like he had the seat all the way back but he still seemed cramped. The theme of things being slightly too small for him continued with his white T-shirt. It clung to his body to the point where I could easily see all of his form beneath it, including individual muscles and… his nipples… He also wore his hair up, but at least on the side of his head that I could see, it looked like he had a thin ribbon or braid going from his temple to where the rest of the hair was collected in a ponytail on the back of his head. Since he seemed to be ignoring me, I tried to ignore him to and focused on Ariel. I tried to give a genuine smile as I returned her wave and walked over to the car. “Hey!…” “Do you want to sit in the passenger seat or in the back?” she asked quickly. I still wasn’t used to her and Erik’s accent so it took me longer than usual to parse what she was saying. “And if you do sit in the back do you want me to sit back there with you or no?” “Uhh…” I’d never ridden in a convertible before. Mostly because I other than these two, I never knew someone with a convertible, but I also had a slight aversion to them. I always figured that with the top down I’d end up with a lot of bugs smashing into my face and holy shit do I hate bugs. Also glasses don’t exactly come with mini wipers to clean them off. I didn’t want to be a bother and ask them to put the top up though. 1) Because I barely knew them. And 2)Since I didn’t know if either of them could have fit underneath it. “…I’ll sit in the front I guess?” I said, choosing to hope that the windshield would keep me mostly bug-free. “If that’s okay with you guys of course…” Ariel looked quizzical. “Why would I offer to let you sit there if I wasn’t okay with you choosing it?” “Well… um… good point… I guess I just wanted to make sure?” “Don’t worry, you can sit there,” Ariel said with a smile as she opened the passenger door for me. I slid in and quickly buckled up as she vaulted over the edge of the car and into the seat behind me. It was a 2-door car though, so normally someone would have to fold the front seat forward to get back there. But she’d easily made it back there in one jump with the only jostling being from her landing. I didn’t think about this at the time though because I saw how many various buttons were on the console and dashboard. There was even a touch screen. I am easily distracted by technology. Erik turned the car on and as he went to grab the stick to go in reverse, I noticed he wasn’t buckled. As much as I wanted to I didn’t say anything about it because I didn’t want to seem rude like I had at the petting zoo where we met. I must’ve had some sort of look on my face though as Erik glanced my way before quickly grabbing the seat belt and clicking the buckle into place. “Oh. I forgot I took it off while we waited for you,” he mumbled. I heard Ariel buckling herself behind me. “Safety first!” she said enthusiastically. “Yay!” I responded, turning around to giver her a thumbs up. She quickly did the same with a very excited grin. Erik grumbled something as he threw the car into reverse, out of the parking spot, then quickly shifted it into gear and sped out of the lot. I grabbed onto my door and clutched my camera bag to me for dear life. Over the roar of the wind in my ears I heard Ariel yell something at Erik. We slowed down some and when we turned onto the highway we didn’t accelerate quite as fast as before. I loosened my death hold on the car door. “Sorry,” Erik said, not sounding apologetic at all. “I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.” “I noticed,” I mumbled under my breath. He stayed silent for the rest of the trip. Meanwhile Ariel tried to ask me multiple questions, but it was hard for me to understand her over the wind until we were on the road leading to the zoo. It was a nice day, but the place wasn’t very busy; with it being a weekday and kids still in school and all. Before we walked into the zoo’s main building I did sort of try to protest against them paying for my ticket again. I always felt awkward accepting this sort of help and even more so if I didn’t insist it wasn’t necessary until they finished the transaction. “We said we would pay for you and we will,” Erik snapped at me. I shut up at that point and tried to look interested in the landscaping. After we made it inside, Ariel immediately laced her arms around Erik’s left one. “So what do you want to do first?” she asked me. “Food?” “Oh, it is time for lunch, isn’t it?” she replied. My stomach rumbled in agreement and she laughed. I tried to see what Erik’s reaction was from the corner of my eye, but he seemed to not be paying attention and staring straight ahead like he had in the car. Granted, it was a bit hard to tell since he was still wearing his sunglasses… even though we were inside. If he’d been anyone else I knew I would have teased him about it. But that didn’t seem to be his cup of tea so instead I readjusted my bag’s strap and took a step in the direction we needed to go. “The food court’s this way,” I explained. “Okay!” Ariel said as she and Erik started after me. “Do you know what you’re going to get?” I changed my pace to walk next to her. The hallways in this building were wide and with hardly any other guests around I figured it would be find to walk three-across. And if it did get crowded I figured I’d just move behind the couple. I was more comfortable being the last person in a group anyway. I quickly realized that despite my plan, I might have to walk behind them anyway because in order to keep up with I had to take longer and faster strides than I normally did. “A hamburger if they have ‘em. What about you guys?” “We ate before we left for your school,” Erik said curtly. “Oh.” “Well I’m still hungry,” Ariel said and I noticed her elbow him sharply before she turned back to me. “Do you know what else there is to eat here?” “Well we’re almost there…” I pointed to the sliding doors where we could see some tables and the first few stations on the other side. We stopped once we were in the food court to see the answer to Ariel’s question. I quickly picked out the grill area where it turned out they were actually selling hamburgers. There was also a sub shop, a place for Chinese food, vegetarian only area, and of course a spot just for ice cream. I tried to act casual while the couple talked quietly to one another in their native language about, I assumed, what she was going to get and if he was going to get anything. Near the end of the exchange it sounded like they disagreed about something and I hoped it didn’t have anything to do with me. At that point I’d realized that Erik really didn’t seem to like and that he also didn’t want to be there. However, I noticed him grudgingly give Ariel his credit card before she looked back at me with a grin. “Okay! I’m going to go the vede- veze- … vegetarian area!” she said. “Erik’s going ta go with you so you can get your hamburger and he can get himself something to drink.” And with that she gave us a small wave and left us where we were. I nervously looked at Erik. He’d partially crossed his arms and looked deflated with his shoulders hunched forward. It made him look like he felt awkward instead of angry like I would’ve expected. He flourished a hand in the direction of where we needed to go so I hesitantly led the way. We were the only ones in line at the grill station so after another cautious glance in his direction I stepped up to the cashier. “Hi. How can I help you?” they asked halfheartedly. “Hi, uh… I’ll have a double hamburger, so no cheese! And only mustard; nothing else on it.” I waited for them to punch in that part of my order. “And a bottle of sweet tea, please.” “’Kay. You can grab the tea over there.” They pointed towards a cooler a few feet away from me and which Erik was standing next to. “Anything else?” “Uh… yeah. Whatever he’s having.” I gestured at Erik while I took a step back so he could take his turn. He gave me what felt like a nervous look before taking a step forward. A single step. With his height it was a long stride, but he was still like three feet away from where most people would stand. “I will also have a bottle of sweet tea,” he said slowly. “Grab it over there.” The cashier pointed at the cooler again. I was thankful that they didn’t seem phased by his size or his accent. “Is that all?” “Yes,” he replied as he took out his wallet. “Your total is $10.74,” they told him and then nodded at me. “Your burger will be ready in a couple minutes.” I nodded back. Before flipping through the surprisingly large amount of bills he had, Erik pushed his sunglasses to the top of his head. I wasn’t sure if it was the light from the station’s heat lamps or what, but it looked like he had a slight yellow color to his eyes. There was an awkward second as the cashier and I waited for him to hand some cash over. He looked down at our total on the register’s screen, then back to his wallet before he straightened himself back up to his full height and flipping again through the bills. I could feel the frustration radiating off him. The cashier cleared their throat and I saw that they were beginning to look nervous. “Uh… sir?” He turned his glare on them and they took half a step back. “Just a sec!” I told them and sidled over to Erik’s elbow and extended my hands toward his. I paused for a second as I realized what I’d done, but decided I was committed at this point with being so close to him. I also just wanted this to end for the poor cashier’s sake. “Here, I can help,” I whispered. I refused to look up at his face. He sighed and I felt the breeze from it in my hair so I knew he was looking at me. He shifted his stance to be angled more towards me. Then he held the wallet open wide with his right hand and offered the closest end of it to me. “Please,” he said in an exasperated tone. I reached up and lightly pulled the wallet down so that I could actually see in it with being this close. It turned out that Erik’s natural waistline was right about at my eye level and so while it may have worked just fine for him to hold the wallet at that height I would need to stand on my tip toes and I am in no way a ballerina so that wasn’t going to happen. Thankfully he had things organized by amount so it was easy for me to find a $10 bill. “Do you have any change you want to use?” I asked, still keeping my voice quiet. “What is change?” he asked, matching my volume. “Uh, coins; pennies, dimes, quarters…” “No,” he huffed. I quickly grabbed a 1 and offered the two bills to him. He hesitated before slowly reaching for them with large left hand and carefully taking them from me. The cash looked like they should be toy money when compared to him. He took a short step forward before shoving his hand at the cashier; who I noticed was now sweating a fair amount. They quickly grabbed. “Um. Out of $11…” they mumbled as they punched the amount in. Before the drawer fully opened they quickly put away what Erik gave them and grabbed his change. “Here’s 26 cents.” Erik glared at their awaiting hand. I edged around him and offered a palm to them in his place. “Can you grab the tea please, Erik?” I asked, hoping that I didn’t sound too nervous. He gave a grunt but put his wallet away and then stepped over to the cooler. H easily grabbed both bottles with one hand. I stepped off to the side to wait for my hamburger and he came over and stood slightly behind me. “Here,” he said flatly as a thing of tea suddenly appeared next to my face. “Thanks.” I turned a little to take it with my free hand and then held out the one with the change. “Do you want your coins back?” He forcefully pushed his sunglasses back onto the bridge of his nose. “You can keep them.” “You sur-” I remembered our interaction on our way into the zoo. “Thanks,” I said instead. I hastily opened my camera bag to put them away in my wallet. He grunted in return and I figured whatever moment had happened when we were ordering was over. As I made sure my bag was securely closed, I noticed him shift his weight from one foot to the other. “Thank you,” he said. I glanced up at his face but from the angle of his head it was clear he wasn’t looking at me. “For helping me pay with… paper money.” I caught myself smiling but before I could say anything Ariel appeared between us. “I have my food!” she announced. “What are you two waiting on?” “Uhh… ma’am…?” I heard the grill cashier say. They pushed a tray with hamburger on it towards me. I tried not to wrinkle my nose at getting misgendered. After all they obviously couldn’t know from just looking at me that I was non-binary, but it still always bothered me when it happened. “Thank you,” I said instead. I quickly put my tea on the tray and grabbed it. Then turning to Ariel and Erik I asked, “Where do you guys want to sit?” “We don’t have a preference!” Ariel replied for the both of them. “Uh… okay…” I surveyed the tables near us, then at some by the large windows on the other side of the room. “How about over there?” The air conditioning was making me a little cold so I led the way to one of the tables that was somewhat in the sun. The two followed. I put my camera camera bag on the floor between the window and the seat I was sliding into. The window looked out on a tree-shaded plaza, beyond which I could see some of the zoo’s elevated walkways. Erik and then Ariel stopped next to the table instead of sitting down. “Isn’t the sun in your eyes there?” he asked hesitantly. “Won’t you get too hot?” she added. “Nah, I’m good.” I shrugged and started to unwrap my sandwich. “I’m a little cold and the sun is warm so I’ll live.” Ariel examined the table before saying something to Erik and nudging him forward. He took a deep breath in and out before taking off his sunglasses and handing them to me. “Here.” Instead of looking at me he squinted out the window. “Oh, no, I’m good!” I repeated. Pointing to my own glasses I said, “Mine sort of turn into sunglasses if there’s enough UV.” He glanced at Ariel. She said something to him before pointing at the spot across from me with one hand while easily balancing her tray with the other. He put his sunglasses back on then moved next to the chair she’d indicated. I just stared as he pulled it back far enough to touch the one behind him, then gingerly sat down. His body made a wall between me and the sun. He didn’t move his chair any closer to the table and I figured part of it had to do with his knees being almost as tall as the top of the table. Ariel put her tray down and took the seat next to me. She had her chair at a normal distance from the table, but I was pretty sure it was due to her folding her legs neatly to her side, almost as though she were riding a horse side-saddle. They both stared at me. “Aren’t you going to eat?” she finally asked. “Um, sure…” I snapped back to attention and took the top but off my hamburger to make sure there weren’t any offending vegetable on it. It was clean so I picked up the entire sandwich and took a bite. They seemed to take this as a signal that they could also start eating, or rather drinking in Erik’s case. They both took smaller samples of their stuff than I expected. He seemed surprised by the tea’s flavor while Ariel looked thoughtful for a moment or two while she processed the taste of her wrap. Then they caught me looking at them and I realized they were also watching me. To try to cover up the fact that I’d been staring at them, I took an unnecessarily large bite. Almost mechanically, they had a little more of their own things. Ariel started to say something when I discovered that the bite was a little to big for me. I hurriedly tried to open my tea. Like I didn’t have anything stuck in my throat, it was just that uncomfortable feeling I would get when I tried eating too much at once. Thankfully this was the case because my first attempt failed. “Ken, are you okay?” she asked as I changed my grip a little. “Just thirsty,” I grunted as I tried again. The lid didn’t move. So I grabbed the bottom part of shirt and held it against the cap to see if that would improve my odds. And another failure. “Let me do it,” Erik said and suddenly one of his large hands appeared over my hamburger. I passed the bottle to him. “Thanks…” I said sheepishly. “I like always have problems opening bottles…” Leaning a little over the table, he turned the cap with what looked like no effort and there was a satisfying crack and hiss as he broke the seal. He laid the lid on my tray before offering the bottle back to me. As I greedily took it from him, I accidentally brushed my fingers across part of his warm hand. I paused and briefly marveled at just how much bigger it was than mine. A shiver ran up his arm and I quickly shoved my tea into my face. I took a couple large gulps as if that would somehow make up for just how awkward this day was. Instead I almost literally inhaled it. “Don’t choke!” Ariel gasped, standing up. Erik quickly followed suit and even leaned over and placed a hand on my shoulder. I heard the table behind him move as he pushed away from his chair. “I’m good,” I tried to assure them between coughing and trying to get air in my lungs. “Just give me a sec. My body’ll calm down.” Erik tightened his grip to where it started to hurt. I looked up at him in surprise but at least it stopped my diaphragm from freaking out for a moment. He stared at his hand as though he was also surprised by how tightly he held my shoulder before quickly pulling it away. He dropped back into his chair, crossed his arms, and glared out the window. I coughed a few more times before taking a cautious sip of tea. Ariel still stood over me. She looked like she was ready to fight the bottle if she needed to. It was honestly very intimidating. “I’m fine!” I said again. I patted the air in the direction of her chair, trying to get her also sit down again. She narrowed her eyes at the offending drink but did plop back down beside me. “Are you sure you’re all right?” she asked seriously. “Yeah! This kind of thing happens all the time…” I said, hiding my mouth behind a hand. Erik snorted. I swallowed. “What?” I asked. I sounded more defensive than I meant to. “Okay so I know that like since we met I seem like a helpless baby, but I’m not!” Ariel studied me with suspicion. I tried to ignore her stare by taking another bite and pulling out my phone to see if I had any notifications and what the time was. After a few moments she turned back to her own lunch, only for her to say something angrily under her breath. I followed her gaze to between our chairs where her wrap laid on the floor, its contents spilled out under our chairs. “Welp. I can get some napkins to help clean up,” I offered. “No,” Erik said firmly before I could bolt to the condiment bar. “My friend and I can manage this. You finish eating.” It took me a second to realize that his “friend” meant Ariel. “No, really, I don’t-” He held up a hand to silence me as he stood up. “Eat.” I did as he said and watched him leave. Ariel knelt down behind her chair. The top of her head came to my shoulder but her long hair still almost reached the lettuce covered floor. “Ken?” she asked. “Mm-hmm?” “How exactly do I… do this.” “Pick up your wrap?” “Yes.” “Just put it on your tray? Then you can just throw it all away in the garbage before we head out.” She smiled at me and started doing so. “And hey, if you want you can go get another wrap if you want. I don’t mind waiting for you to finish eating.” She shook her head no. “Nah. Like Erik said, we ate before we picked you up so I’m fine!” “Okay… Well then, let me know if you want me to help you pick this stuff up?” She shook her head again. “Then tell me if I need to move to another seat or get my legs out of the way?” “I will!” Erik came back a second later with two large handfuls of napkins. Not just like normal person large handfuls though; his huge fists were stuffed with them. He joined Ariel on the floor and I nervously watched them work, moving my legs around or holding them up out of the way as needed. She used her bare hands to grab all the larger chunks, while he used the napkins as make shift gloves to clean whatever she missed. When they were done he tried to give her the remainder of the napkins so she could wipe her hands off. But instead she either didn’t see or didn’t care and just rubbed them on her capris as she stood up. He sighed and used them himself before putting them on her tray with the rest of the garbage. I finished my sandwich right about then so I quickly rolled up its empty wrapper, grabbed my things and got up too. “There’s a garbage can over there,” I said and started walking towards it. I saw the grill cashier standing warily about 20 feet away from our table with a broom and dust pan. I wondered how long they’d been standing there as they waited for us to leave before making sure we’d fully cleaned up our mess. The can I went to had two others next to it. Erik went to the one on my right and just… threw the entire tray into the can. Like not just the remains of Ariel’s wrap and the napkins he used and the tray liner. He dropped the actual tray in. I stare at the can and then at him. He did the same to me. Then slowly he reached into the can, grabbed the tray, shook off anything still stuck to it, then reached past me and set it on top of the one I had put on the nice little shelf above the can that was meant for holding the used trays. I tried not to giggle as I gave him a thumbs up. He looked confused at the gesture but he did start to mirror it. Suddenly Ariel appeared on the other side of me and held my free hand in hers. She was definitely not as tall as her significant other, but her hand was still a good deal larger than mine. “So what animal do we want to see first!” she asked. I looked down at our clasped hands for a moment. Partially because I hadn’t expected it and didn’t really notice the difference in our hand sizes earlier, but also because I had to marvel at how long and nice her fingernails were? I played piano growing up so I couldn’t stand it if my nails went much past the ends of my fingers. I felt her grip loosen and she started to pull it away. “Sorry! Do not want to hold hands?” she asked with much more concern than the situation called for. “No! I mean yes! I mean-” I slid my hand back into place in her palm and held it. “I like holding hands.” She smiled brightly. “Okay!” Then at the same time she and I each offered our other hand to Erik. All three of us looked surprised by this. After a beat Erik hesitantly held his own hand out near mine. “I… like to hold hands too.” I carefully took it and he gently moved our hands to his side. “Do we want to start at the petting zoo?” he asked us with a stiff smile. “I promise not to yell at either of you if we do,” I said and hoped both of them could tell I was joking. Ariel laughed and started us towards the doors leading out into the zoo-proper. “I promise not to stick my fingers in any cages!” she said, giving my a light squeeze. “And I promise-” he paused mid-sentence with a thoughtful look on his face. “You should be Ken’s shade tree!” she supplied. “To keep them from getting too hot this time!” He hesitated in his current stride until I was slightly ahead of him and he was able to block the sun. “Yes, I promise to do that.” I rolled my eyes. “That was one time!” I pretended to protest. “And anyway it’s cooler today, and I made sure to wear light colored clothes, and I’m even wearing sunscreen!” “What’s sunscreen?” Ariel inquired. “It keeps the sun from burning me.” They pulled me to halt. They both looked at me as though they thought I was going to randomly burst into flames. These mini-crises were starting to get old. “You know… cuz my skin is so light? I get sun burnt really easy? Like I don’t tan? My skin just goes straight from ghost white to red if I’m out in the sun for too long…? And I guess you’ve never had a sun burn since your skin is so much darker than mine?” “Should we leave and come back on a day when it’s cloudy?” she asked with genuine concern for my safety. Erik took another step towards me as though he were trying to keep any sunlight from reaching me ever. “No! I’m  wearing sunscreen! And it’s the really good stuff too; it’s SPF 75!” The two literally started talking over my head at each other. Exasperated, I let go of their hands and started digging in my bag for my bottle of sunscreen. “Here, look!” I first shoved the bottle into Ariel’s face and then Erik’s. He took it from me and carefully began to read the front under his breath. She shuffled next to him to try to read it too. When they were done they exchanged a few more words before handing it back to me. “We believe you,” she said as I stowed the sunscreen away again. I sighed with relief. “I thought Erik said he was going to be my shade tree anyway.” I said with a forced giggle. I did not like confrontation one bit and we’d had more than enough for one day; probably two. “And I really want to see the sea otters!” “Yes, I did say that,” he said, a small genuine smile appearing. “Good, cuz you promised!” His smile quickly vanished and he looked dead serious. “I always keep my promises,” he said solemnly. “We both do.” Ariel sounded like she was somewhat offended. So much for no more confrontation! “No! Sorry! I was… just making a joke…” I stared at the ground. Despite the temperature and Erik being between me and the sun, I could feel myself getting warmer. “Oh… Oh! We’re sorry!” she said, sounding worried again. “We’re just not used to your kind of humor…” “Yeah…” I agreed. And then my anxiety kicked in and I suddenly felt like crying. What the fuck emotions. “Ken…!” She quickly cupped my hand in both of hers and then Erik did the same with my other one. I made myself take a slow, deep, somewhat shaky breath in… and then out. “Fuck… I’m sorry…” I whispered, still trying to focus and control my breathing. I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to look at them. “Sometimes my brain just overreacts and I’m fine. Just give me a sec…” They both let go of me, but I could tell from the—surprising amount of—heat radiating from their palms that they held them only a few inches away. I took a few more deep breaths before forcing a smile and opening my eyes. Both of them had bent down a little so their faces were closer to mine. I didn’t know if they were trying to make themselves look smaller or if they were trying to get a better look at me or what. “Okay,” I said, trying to reassure all of us that I really was fine. “Okay.” “Do you want to go to the sea otters first, Ken?” she asked softly. “No, we said we were going to the petting zoo first so let’s go to the petting zoo.” I bumped my hand into her hand that I’d been holding earlier. Thankfully she understood that I wanted to hold hands again and took it. She closed her eyes, smiled, and gave me a small squeeze before standing upright again. Then I turned to Erik, who was already standing straight and tall. I moved the hand by him closer to his own and tried to ask with my expression if he wanted to hold hands again too. He accepted my offer and even though I’d noticed that so far he seemed careful about any physical contact we had, his actions seemed even… more calculated? I smiled up at my two, new, large, friends and pulled them in the direction I thought we needed to go. “Ken…?” Erik said after only a couple of feet. “The petting zoo is this way.” And he gave me a gentle tug in his direction. I looked at the nearest directional and yup. He was right. I changed course. “To the petting zoo!” I said over-enthusiastically. Ariel laughed and Erik sighed as we made our way down the path.

Connor Murphy x Reader: Boy next door

{Very basic but hey. Connor’s phone number is supposedly the Easter bunny’s number. Anybody wanna call & see if that’s true? Feel free to request one shots or headcanons! That would be awesome.} 

* This was it. You were finally finished moving into your new house in a new city with new everythings. Nothing was familiar. Your dad had gotten a major promotion in his job, which would require a move. A move specifically 3 states away from home.

You were happy for your dad, really. You were just a little less happy for you. Being a teenage girl, starting over completely at a brand new highschool in a new city with no friends was going to be a challenge. You weren’t going to lie; you were terrified. Tomorrow marked the beginning of the new school year.

In the meantime, however, you found yourself getting ready for a dinner with your neighbors; the Murphy family. Your parents were thrilled when they received the invitation, and despite all your desperate protests you were being forced into going. You were less than thrilled, to say at the least.

“(Y/N), are you ready?” Your mom called from outside your room. You finished brushing your hair, took one more look to observe your finished look for the night, and yelled back.

“Yeah, I’m coming!”

You muttered to yourself. “Let’s get this over with.”

Half an hour later you found yourself sitting with your family around a dining room table in a home that belonged to two parents, a daughter, and a son. Cynthia & Larry, Zoe, and Connor Murphy to be specific. The introductions were slightly awkward, but the family seemed nice enough. There was a little bit of tension between Connor and everybody else for a reason you didn’t know, but other than that things were going fine.

“So (Y/N),” Cynthia speaks up, “what are your interests? What do you like to do in your free time?”

“Well, I like theatre, yoga, knitting and sewing, reading.. Just boring stuff like that, nothing special.” You answer, feeling a little sheepish. You notice Connor perk up, but don’t mention anything. Mainly because he’s a genuinely intimidating person, but hey.

“Oh! You like knitting? Connor here loves to knit!” Cynthia exclaims, gesturing to her son. “Of course he won’t let us see what he makes, but he’s always having to go out and buy supplies.”

Connor face palms. Really hard. “Fucking hell.” He mutters, getting up and trying to retreat to his room.

“Connor honey, sit down. We have company.” Cynthia orders. He does as he’s told but sports a very irked expression.

The rest of dinner after that was awkward, the tension that hung in the room earlier even heavier now. Everyone tried to ignore the fact that Connor seemed uncomfortable and angry. Still, the sets of parents continued to make civil conversations while both you and the Murphy teens chewed in silence. By the time everyone finished their meals, your mom said it was probably time for you all to head home. Thanking the Murphy’s for dinner and saying individual goodbyes, you and your parents were out the door.

Well, that could have gone worse.

* You woke the next morning to the dreaded beeping of your alarm, rolling over to shut it off before you went crazy. Realizing what today was, you took a deep breathe and groaned.

“This is it. Let’s make it count, me.” You say to yourself, jumping out of bed and getting ready as fast as possible since you had to be at school early to get your schedule. The car ride to school went faster than you wished it would have, and before you knew it you were climbing out to go inside.

You made your way to the front office, went through all the necessary introductions, you had a teacher run you through where your classes were and took your printed schedule. Heading to your 1st period English 4 class, you clutched your coffee tighter and trudged through the hallways.

When you walked through the door, you glanced around the room to see what seats were taken and which weren’t. Your eyes landed on a familiar face; Connor Murphy. Your new neighbor Connor Murphy, to be exact.  You smiled lightly, taking comfort in knowing there was someone you were at least a little bit familiar with in your class. You walked towards his seat and sat down beside him, analyzing his face as he looked up at you. His expression was blank.

“You?”

“Uh.. Yeah. Me.”

Connor rolled his eyes, but spoke again. “Didn’t know you were going to this school, (Y/N).” He said, definitely uninterested.

“This was the only public school in my district, so here I am.”

“By the way you present yourself I’d assume you belong in private, but okay.”

“What does that mean?” You questioned, confused.

He let out a small laugh to himself and answered, “You just seem like a goody-two shoes, prissy type of girl. To clarify, the type of people I don’t hang around with.”

You scoffed. “I am not a priss! Do you know how judgmental it is to make that assumption about someone because of one totally silent dinner and one outfit? Because that’s kind of a dick move, Connor. Plus, I’m new and literally don’t know anybody else so if you could do me the miraculous favor of just letting me sit next to you, that’d be fantastic. Cut me some slack.” You said with full sincerity. It was a small comment Connor made, but you were picked on at your old school and you weren’t standing for anything this time around.

You noticed his face fall a little bit, but he still bit back with “Whatever you say, princess.”

“Great.” You muttered, sarcasm dripping from your voice. Before Connor could react, the teacher waltzed in holding a hot pocket.

“Hello class,” he began with a sing-song voice, “I’m Mr. Reyes. I’m your teacher for English 4. I’ll allow you to sit wherever you want, just as long as you don’t disrupt my class. Now! Let’s go over the curriculum.” Mr Reyes practically sang his introduction.

To your surprise, Connor leaned over to whisper to you. “I have a feeling I’m going to need a lot of distractions from this guy.” He placed a note on your desk, and you read the writing.

Connor(me): 973-409-3313

You gave him a quizzical look, but pulled out your cell phone and quickly added his number to your contacts. Sending a new message, you simply typed ‘sup’. Connor smiled, pulling out his phone too and immediately logging into it to message you back.

Connor M Who brings a hot pocket to school? Lol

You laughed softly to yourself and wrote back.

(Y/N) Mr. Reyes apparently. What classes do u have?

Connor M Why? Wanna see if we have any more together?

(Y/N) You wish. Whatev, idc. So Connor. Knitting, huh? Your mom said u like it B)

Connor M Fuck off it’s therapeutic

(Y/N) Rude. So u actually do it?

Connor M Yeah. Problem?

(Y/N) Nah, I love knitting. I make lots of hats, scarves, socks, and I made a sweater once. It’s pink

Connor M Cool. Never tried hats b4. Or any of that other stuff.

(Y/N) Huh? So what do u make?

The bell rang.

Time had gone on so fast that you didn’t realize an entire period has passed. You locked your phone and packed up your stuff. Connor did the same.

“See ya, Murphy.” You called, standing up and turning to leave the class.

“Yeah, see ya.” Connor looked up at you, watching you leave. His eyes seemed kinder than when you first walked in.

* You somehow made it halfway through the day okay and found your way to the lunchroom, which was an accomplishment. Major accomplishment. Now your main challenge was actually finding people to sit with. You could either stay inside in the lunchroom or head out to the courtyard outside. You decided on the latter, thinking if you were going to be alone you might as well do it in a less crowded place with nice weather. The sun’s out today.

You carried your blue lunch box and pulled out your phone so you could pretend to be texting while walking to the courtyard. It was less embarrassing to be alone that way if you look like you’re busy anyways. Typing random letters into your notes, you collided with someone. Directly slamming your face into their chest, collided. Talk about humiliating.

You looked up, already beginning to spew out frantic apologies when you saw who it was.

“Oh my god I’m so sorry I didn’t- Oh. Connor.”

“Pfft. Look where you’re going, much?” He asked, looking down on you.

“Hello to you too. Sorry, I was just trying to find somewhere to sit.” You told him half-heartedly.

“On your phone?” He raised an eyebrow. “I don’t think your phone will tell you where to go.”

“You don’t have to be rude about it.” You throw out. You look at the ground, avoiding Connor’s gaze. “Can I sit with you? I don’t really have anywhere else to go.”

He didn’t answer for a second, which worried you. You lifted your head to see him, and he looked slightly confused, but he nodded his head. “Follow me.”

You walked with Connor to a small picnic table under a tree where he had a soda and a sack lunch splayed out. You sat down and unpacked your things, and you both ate. There wasn’t much conversation, but it wasn’t total silence. It wasn’t bad.

The rest of the day passed you by oh-so-slowly. You were beyond relieved when you finally got to go home. Your mom came to pick you up since you didn’t have the energy to drive. She made the average 'how was school’ small talk until you got home, but after that she let you be and you went up to your room, flinging yourself onto the bed. Ugh.

Your phone buzzed and for the second time that day, you saw a brand new message from Connor Murphy.

Connor M How was ur first day? Our school sucks

(Y/N) I mean? It was okay I guess. Didn’t make any friends but I made it through ok.

Connor M Wrong. U made me

(Y/N) Yeah?

Connor M Yeah.

You sent back a smiley face and clicked your phone off, looking out your window only to notice Connor’s room was directly across from yours. Hm.

* The next day went just as your first did. Your second went the same way. And the third. The school days went okay and other than Connor, you didn’t talk to anyone. You two texted back and forth during English and ate lunch together. You talked more than you did yesterday. When you got home, Connor would text you and sometimes you’d talk from between your windows. Slowly, you two stared hanging out more outside of school.

That’s how life went for awhile.

A couple months into the school year, you found yourself hanging out in Connor’s room at 4pm on a Wednesday. You were lying on his bed while he sat in his window sill. You were explaining in detail your favorite musical, all the tiny details included.

Connor laughed. “Jesus, (Y/N). I had no idea you were so into this shit. I knew you liked theatre but I didn’t know it was this intense!”

“Shut up, I bet you have interest in something embarrassing too. Everybody has their guilty pleasures!” You defended yourself.

Connor smiled at you, but denied it. “Yeah well, I guess I’m not everybody because I do not. No Connor Murphy guilty pleasures here.” He scratched his head.

“You’re lying. You scratch your head when you lie. Don’t think I haven’t picked up on that habit, Connor.” You pointed out. In response, Connor told you to 'fuck off’ but you persisted.

“I’m serious, what is it?!” You demanded. “I won’t shut up about it until you tell me.”

“God, I know you won’t.” He paused. “If I tell you, you have to promise you won’t tell a SINGLE person. No joke, if you do I’ll kick your ass.”

“Nah, you love me too much. You would never.” You tease. “Plus, I think we’re close enough by now. I always tell you about mine, and we trust each other enough right?”

“Something like that.” He looked at you. “Whatever, just let me get something.” He stood up and dug around in his closet for awhile until he pulled out a plastic bag full of something you couldn’t quite see yet. Regretting his choice as soon as it was done, he dumped it upside down on his bed and revealed little knitted marijuana leaves. With faces.

…

“Connor.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Connor, these are so adorable! Who knew weed could be cute?!” You exclaimed, picking some up to examine them. “But I have to ask. What do you even do with these?” You questioned.

Connor’s eyes darted to the floor. “I sell them.”

You sent him a questionable look, which you knew he didn’t see but he continued anyways. “For whatever fucking reason people on Etsy eat them up. You can sell anything on there.”

“This is brilliant.”

Connor furrowed his eyebrows. “You don’t think this is weird?”

“No, I totally do. But it’s brilliant.

He rolled his eyes.

"Can I see your Etsy page?” You asked, hopeful.

“Why the fuck do you want to see my Etsy page?” He asked, confused.

“I don’t know, I just wanna see how many you’ve sold and stuff.”

Connor rolled his eyes again, but picked up his computer and logged on. As he opened Safari and logged into Etsy, you made quiet little cheers. Connor silently passed his computer to you so you could see his online shop. Browsing over his tiny creations, you began clicking on reviews.

“Wow, Connor! People really love these things.” You exclaim. “What do you even use the money for?”

Connor chuckled, and stared at you. “What do you think? I use it to pay for weed.”

“What?” You questioned. “Why can’t you just ask your parents for money?”

“You know how much I smoke a week? They would know. Plus, I don’t want to owe them anything. I don’t need anything from them but the bare minimum.” He told you. You mumbled something about it 'kinda making sense’ and continued to scroll through marijuana toy reviews. Reading an interesting bit, you started giggling to yourself.

“Con… You sold these at a craft fair?”

His face went red. Which was probably the weirdest thing you’ve ever seen, second only to knitted marijuana toys. He quickly snatched his laptop out of your hands and slammed it shut as you began laughing even harder.

“Somebody wrote a review and said they got some from you at a craft fair! Oh my god, this is the best thing I’ve ever heard.” You smiled ecstatically.

“No I didn’t. That lady was probably tripping on mushrooms and has no idea what’s she’s talking about.” He denied.

“Connor, don’t even try. I saw. This is AMAZING. I never would have thought you’d even be at a craft fair, let alone selling stuff!” You were practically yelling, you thought it was so amusing.

“Literally shut up, its not that fucking funny.”

“Yes it is! When’s the next craft fair? Will you take me?”

“I hate you so much.”

“Can I help you knit some more?”

“I’m never letting you in my house again.”

“I’ll give them the cutest facial expressions ever!”

“(Y/N), stop. I’m serious.”

“Make me. This is too good to-”

Before you could even process what was happening, his lips were on yours and his hand was cupping the side of your face. Just as quickly as it happened he pulled away, but he kept his face inches from yours. He smirked.

“Wow.” You blurted, your eyes darting back and forth between his own.

He laughed softly, and you were suddenly painfully aware of the fact that his hand was still resting on your cheek. You felt your face flush. Now too flustered to look Connor in the eye, you opted to look down instead. He moved his hand from your cheek to your chin and pulled it up, forcing you oh so gently to look at him which seemed to set your face ablaze.

“You told me to make you, it was the first thing that came to mind.” He explained.

You giggled softly, and then stared at him for a second. Without thinking, you took his face in both of your hands, leaned in and kissed him hard. He kissed back immediately, causing you to whimper softly into his mouth. He took this as an opportunity to slip his tongue in ever so slightly. You, without breaking contact, climbed on top of his lap and continued to kiss the boy. Gradually, one of your hands ended up tangled in his brown hair and he had one hand riding up your thigh. When you both were desperate for air, you pulled back.

You stared at each other. You, at Connor’s messed up hair and newly-planted pink lipstick marks; and Connor, at your swollen lips and red face. You smiled wide, and so did he.

“I should tell you to 'make me’ more often, huh?” You joked.

“Depends. Does this mean we’re dating?” Connor asked you.

You nodded and said, “If you want it to.”

“I do.” He answered.

“Okay, good. So do I.” You told him. “Suddenly I’m really grateful for the embarrassing craft fair secret.”

He shrugged off that comment and pulled you towards him and into his chest. You gladly leaned against him, taking in the smell of cologne and a slight hint of weed. It was nice. He kissed the top of your head and you smiled.

How cliche it was to fall for the boy next door. But you weren’t complaining.

-Mod Rae 

I don’t know how to end things

SE MCs background chapter 1: The Meeting.

Okay so. This may not be as long as I thought it was? Idk. I broke the chapters into little bits so Yh. Enjoy I guess idk.

Also, it skips to 1st POV of the story BEGINNING on the third paragraph dkwnwn. I didn’t know how to transition it so whoops....

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There was a girl named Melody Anders. She was a kind girl, raised by a good mother and father. She didn’t have any siblings, so she was a little bit of a loner. However, she was fine with that. But she couldn’t deny the feeling of wanting something more in life. She didn’t know what it was but knew when she found it, she would know it was what she wanted. She was always a curious person, sometimes a little bit nosy, but its why people loved her. Even if they got annoyed of her sometimes.

She was a woman that had blonde hair and honey colored eyes. She was beautiful. Or that’s what everyone told her. Even if she didn’t see the same thing sometimes...

I felt hot as I felt the sunshine on my back. It was a very hot day for a walk, I should’ve brought some water with me. Plus, it was a mistake to wear a black dress, leggings, and boots. I’m making a lot of bad decisions today. I began walking down a path, but when I passed some bushes, I heard noises. It sounded like people talking. But not a few people, a lot of people. Me being the nosy person I am, I decided to walk closer. It got louder as I looked into the bushes. I decided to walk into the bushes for some reason. I think I am the person who would die first in the horror movie.

I walked further and I soon came upon an area that looked like a square with a fountain in the middle. There were buildings surrounding it but there was a fountain in the middle. Some people were talking and some people began to walk away. It looked like a park when I thought about it, but I didn’t know why it was hidden between some bushes. This world felt a little bit different. It was so colorful. Even the people’s hair were colorful. Blonde, brown, pink, purple, and many more. It was weird but I couldn’t think much about it before I felt the need to go closer. I began to walk closer to the fountain but I accidentally tripped over something. “Oof!” I felt my knees hit the ground but I used my hands to catch myself. I didn’t have much time to move before I heard someone speak to me.

“Hey, are you okay?” I looked up and saw someone with pinkish hair. Like a punch pink. He had purple eyes with a concerned look. There was a man next to him with white hair, and blue eyes. “Uh...” I stuttered out. I have to get it together so I don’t look stupid! I shook my head and took his hand that was held out in front of me. “Be a little careful next time,” he said with a laugh. I finally stood up all the way and let out a little laugh as well. He finally got a good look at my eyes and me, and he seemed to go tense. Did I look bad after I fell? His friend didn’t seem to notice anything, so what was it?

“Can I talk to you for a second?” The man said to me with a look of sadness and confusion in his eyes. I was confused but agreed anyway. No way I would say “no” to talking to a handsome stranger. He told his friend to wait here and he took me a little distance away from everyone. He had his arm crossed and, even if he looked angry, looked very confused. “How did you get here?” I told him about the bushes and how I just stepped through. His eyebrows seemed to come together in confusion. “That doesn’t make sense. You’re not supposed to be here.”

Hold up.

I suddenly got a little bit angry and annoyed. Why wasn’t I allowed to be here? “And why is that exactly?” He sighed. “Well,” he began as he looked around to confirm no one was around. “We aren’t exactly...human,” he told me with a small smile. What? My head tilted to the side, confused. “How can you not be human? You look human.” He really did. He had all the normal functions of a human and looks, so what could he be? He put his hand to his chin and seemed like he was thinking. I guess that was his thinking pose. Kinda cute honestly.

He told me to stay here for a second and he walked over to his friend. I couldn’t exactly hear them but his friend glanced over to me and seemed little anxious. I wasn’t dangerous. Heck, I’m not even that strong so I couldn’t do much damage. His friend looked over at me again, but now with a look of concern. He seemed to sigh and nod. After that interaction, the man I was talking to called me over. I walked over to them and he told me how I had to go with him to keep me safe. “Wait, wait, wait. I don’t even know your names,” I pointed out to them. The man I talked to let out a little laugh. “My name is Gabriel, and his name is Erik.”

Erik was a man that had white hair and blue eyes. That was all I could say about him so far. I hadn’t even spoken a word to him but I didn’t know what to say exactly. “Well, it’s nice to meet you both. But why do I need to come with you two?” I may have wanted to meet new people, but I was NOT up for some kidnapping today. “We’re not going anywhere private exactly. We’re going to a cafe not far from here,” he said with his hands in front of him like he was trying to assure me that they wouldn’t do anything. I sighed and nodded. I mean, we were going somewhere in public, they couldn’t hurt me in public right?

We went to a cafe that only was a 5 minute walk away but I wasn’t sure. My phone stopped working so I couldn’t see the time. I was sure my phone was in perfect condition, but maybe it was just time to get a new phone. Gabriel got us all a table and they ordered drinks. I just decided to order coffee. Coffee was always good at any time of the day to me. “Okay, so, are we really going to tell her?” Erik asked Gabriel. Gabriel nodded with a look of uncertainty. Whatever they were hiding from me was apparently very important. Gabriel looked me head on and explained that everyone here were magicians or not human. I wanted to laugh in their face but they seemed like they weren’t kidding.

Their faces had a look of seriousness, and it felt rude to laugh in their face. I crossed my arms across my chest and began to think. They told me how only magicians or people with magic were able to come here. As long as I have ever lived so far, I’ve never seen magic before. Or even heard people talk about it like it was real. So, I couldn’t have magic. They seemed just as confused as me. We got our drinks and started drinking in silence. “Well, what am I supposed to do?” They looked at each other with concerned glances. “We can’t report her. Who knows that they’ll do to her,” Erik whispered to Gabriel. “It can’t be that bad,” he whispered back. Erik rolled his eyes.

“You can stay with me until we get your situation worked out.” My eyes seemed to squint at him. Couldn’t he be a kidnapper? “How am I supposed to trust you?” He let out a smile at me. “Ah, we got a smart one here. I have a bedroom that has only one copy of a key to open it. It’s yours and I won’t be able to enter until you open the door.” That seemed to ease my concerns but I was still anxious. However, I didn’t seem to have any other options. I couldn’t leave because they said it wasn’t safe, so being with them seemed to be the only option here. “Fine.” They both smiled at me and their bodies seemed to become less tense.

We finished our drinks and they payed with some coins. They’re currency must’ve been very different. Guess I was stuck with them if I couldn’t buy anything. Erik took me to his house and it seemed pretty nice. It was an average sized home. He showed me the key and the bedroom, and I gotta say, that bedroom was nice as hell. I didn’t live with my parents anymore because I was 20. But I lived in an apartment and my room wasn’t even this nice. I thanked him and, since it was late at night, he gave me some pajamas. Basically some shorts and a really big T-shirt. I couldn’t complain because he was being generous and gave me these, so I put them on and said goodnight. I laid in the bed and couldn’t fall asleep like I usually do.

I mean, I’m in a new WORLD. Not just a different place, a whole new world. It was kind of scary, but also exciting. Maybe I could learn more about this world? I would have to go home eventually but maybe I could come back? It seems nice here and not too dangerous. But I guess that was an idea for another day. My eyelids slowly started close and I eventually fell asleep. Hopefully awaking to a nice morning and not be tied up and blindfolded.

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I hope this was good. It’s only the first chapter so it probably will get better? Idk. My writings gotten better in my opinion so I hope you liked this first chapter.

In the beginning it did switch from 3rd POV of Melody to 1st POV all of a sudden because I didn’t know how to exactly introduce the story so yeah djwnwb.

catch me a catch [1/?]

Even and Mikael get kicked out of Bakka for a mysterious stunt and transfer to Nissen in the middle of their 3rd year. Even hates everything about it, except for the cute 1st year he’s seen around the school.

Mikael doesn’t hate Nissen and in fact, has taken to amusing himself by spreading wild rumors about why they got kicked out and by the fact that his best friend has a crush on some kid. Still, Even his best buddy and he’s going to help him out.

Even Bech Næsheim stands in the middle of the yard, looks up at the school build like he has for the last two weeks since he transferred to Hartvig Nissen and sighs a heavy, tired sigh. Behind him, he feels his best friend lets out an amused huff.

“How long are you going to keep doing this?” he asks and Even can hear the laughter in his voice. “When are we moving on to the acceptance stage of grief?”

“Never,” he grumbles, and he knows he sounds like a child, but he’s annoyed as a group of 1st-year walk by them. More than one gives him a look, some curious, some interested, some apprehensive. It’s not new, he’s been getting those looks since the moment he stepped foot at this school. Apparently changing schools’ mid-year warranted being studied like a bug under a microscope and hushed whispers. “Do they have to stare so much?” he questions not really expecting an answer yet he hears another sound of amusement. He turns around to face his friend despite himself with a questioning look.

“It’s because you’re so pretty,” Mikael, his best friend, general pain in his ass says with a shit-eating when Even rolls his eyes at him.

“It’s true! With your James Dean hairstyle, your popped collar jacket, and ridiculously good-looking face. Of course, they’re going to stare,” he continues with a mocking sigh as he sympathetically pats Even on the shoulder. “It’s your lot in life buddy, to be stared at and have outrageous rumors being whispered about you, if only you were ugly.”

Even keeps a serious expression even though he wants to give in and smile at his friend’s absurdity. “The rumors are entirely your fault, and you know it. You keep spreading different ones every day about why we got expelled from Bakka, yesterday I heard we put livestock in the teacher’s break room, a goat and some chickens Mika.”

Mikael’s grin only grows at that, a glint in his eye that always makes Even nervous. “I wanted it to be a cow, but it needed to be believable, where would we even get a cow, you know. Today’s rumor will be that we hosted a skinny dipping party in the school’s pool, it was epic, went down in Bakka history.”

Even stares at him, feeling a dull pain behind his left eye, over the years he’s come to call it ‘the Mika pain.' “Why are you doing this? Why are you like this? Are you suffering from delusions? Because we can’t both be messed up in the head, that doesn’t work, and I called dibs on being crazy.”

“It’s a social experiment,” Mikael says easily not even addressing Even’s self-critical comment on his disorder, and he gets a rush of affection and gratitude for his friend who has never once since Even was diagnosed acted any differently towards him. “I’m documenting everything, it’s going to make an excellent movie about gullibility, might even submit it to some festivals.”

“What a shit movie that will be,” Even says, biting his lip to keep from laughing when Mikael lets out a gasp of outrage, hand over his heart like the drama queen he is.

“We all can’t be pretentious assholes like you and your shitty idol,” Mikael taunts back. “Oooh, I’m Even Bech Næsheim, and my favorite director is Baz Luhrmann who makes movies that only make sense if you’re high and always kills off a lead to be edgy.”

Even narrows his eyes at the age-old argument. “How you’re a film student is beyond me.”

“Michael Bay is a cinematic genius.”

Even laughs at that. “You couldn’t even say that with a straight face.”

Mikael nods rubbing his hands over himself as he gives a full body shutter. “It felt dirty just saying it.”

Even opens his mouth to crack a joke at that when he spots him over by the bike rails, sitting on one as he talks with his friends. One of them says something that has him laughing hard and Even is mesmerized as he watches him throw his head back. Tall, slim, in more layers than Even can count, blond hair and the prettiest face Even has ever seen.

“Oi, am I boring you?” he hears Mikael question but he doesn’t turn to his friend, he continues to watch, enthralled by what’s before him.

“Dude, what’s with you?” Mikael asks turning to look in the same direction as Even, and he can tell the moment Mikael spots what has Even attention. “Oh,” Mikael says, amusement coloring his voice once more. “Him again. What is it with you and blondes, first Sonja, now this kid.”

Even shrugs because he doesn’t really know how to explain it, he noticed the boy before on the first day he and Mikael arrived at Nissen, and he hasn’t stopped noticing him since.

“So, are you ever going to make a move?” Mikael questions with a raised eyebrow. “I mean staring at him longingly from afar was cute at the beginning, and by cute, I mean ridiculous and enjoyable for me. But it’s starting to get a little creepy, maybe it’s time to move this along, and I don’t know find out his name? Tell him that his hair shines like the golden sun and that you want to hold his hand.”

“I have a girlfriend,” he argues, and it sounds uncertain even to him. He and Sonja are ‘taking a break,' because in her words he was childish and in his, she was suffocating him. He knows she’s waiting for him to come to his senses and run back to her. With each passing day though, being away from her felt more and more freeing and if that wasn’t a sign that they were better off on their own he didn’t know what was. Sonja had once been an important part of his life, and she deserved better than a boyfriend who was growing resentful of her presence or who was fascinated by beautiful blonde boys.

“Really, Even?” Mikael asks giving him a look of disbelief and Even is reminded once again how well his friend knows him. “That’s what you’re going with. That’s weak man and if you’re honest with yourself, not even true anymore.”

“I can’t just go up to the guy,” Even argues. “What would I even say to him? ‘Hey, I know you don’t know me, but you’re the only thing that’s keeping me from missing my old school, and I like staring at you because you’re the prettiest thing I have ever seen. Any chance you’re into guys or better yet me?’”

Mikael stares at him for a moment before shrugging unconcerned. “Sure, why not.”

Even gives him an incredulous look. “You mean besides the fact that he will probably run away screaming in the opposite direction because that’s crazy?”

“It’s not crazy,” Mikael argues giving him a look because while he lets it slide sometimes, Mikael doesn’t like it when Even uses the ‘C’ word about himself. Throwing his arm over Even’s shoulder, he lets out an annoyed sound as he hangs off Even awkwardly due to their height difference. “It’s a bit extra, but you’re the king of Extra, so it’s right up your alley.”

“I don’t even know his name,” Even says, frowning a little as he says it. It wasn’t for lack of trying, but still being new at Nissen he hadn’t made any new friends.

Not that he has actually gone out of his way to make them when he still has Mikael at his side and the fact that he and his friend have seemed to develop a ridiculous reputation in a short period of time.

“Yeah, you’ve dropped the ball on that one, I admit,” Mikael concedes, smiling when Even gives him a dry look. “But no worries that why you have me. Your best buddy, your ultimate pal, the king of wing-manning.”

“Everything you just said fills me with nothing but worry,” Even says dryly. “Seriously a chill just went down my spine.”

“That’s because you are dramatic as fuck,” Mikael answers honestly, grinning when Even gives him a ‘really’ look. “Now come on, your good old buddy Mikael is going to make it all better and help you woo the cute boy, all I ask is that you name your child after me.”

Even laughs at that, giving his friend’s shoulders a squeeze as the walk into the school with their arms around each other. “So, we’ve moved on from me getting his name to having kids with him.”

“I’m that good,” Mikael proclaims solemnly. “Besides with your looks and my brains, how can we not succeed.”

Even gives him a side look. “Are you saying I’m just a pretty face?”

“Well,” Mikael starts slowly, a grin spreading on his happy face, laughing when Even shoves away from him. “I wasn’t going to say anything, I know how sensitive you can be.”

Even laughs at that. “Asshole.”

“Don’t be rude,” Mikael frowns as they reach Even’s locker, he waits next to it while Even gathers his books. “I’m going to be your, Yente.”

Even closes his locker with a bang as he lets out a snort. “Fiddler on the Roof, really Mika?”

“Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match,” Mikael sings out loudly with a wide grin as a few students sent weird looks their way, nothing new really. “Find me a find.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Even rolls his eyes, grinning as he gives in. “Catch me a catch.”

“Oh, I am buddy,” Mikael promises, signaling with his head. Even looks over to find his blonde boy by his own locker, looking over at them, a clear result of Mikael’s loudness. Even’s eyes lock with the boy’s and even from where he stands Even can see just how green the boy’s eyes are. The boy stares back at him for another moment before he turns away, he’s not fast enough that Even doesn’t catch the blush on his cheeks though, it fills Even with a kind of excitement he can’t remember feeling before. “I’m going to look through my book,” Mikael continues with another broad smile and waggles of his eyebrows, as he misquotes the next line of the song.

Loving his friend for his support and just utter Mikael-ness, Even plays along and says the next line. “And make me a perfect match.”