AITA for getting on my roommate about the dirty kitchen? (apologies for length)
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so, we live in a decent sized 3 bedroom apartment, but with a tiny tiny kitchen. i’ve lived here for a year prior to him moving in. my friends moved out for a variety of reasons that didn’t have to do with me, and one reason my old roommate left is she is a baker and wanted to be able to bake properly in a larger than one-person sized kitchen.
i brought in two randoms from FB after interviewing and hanging out. one of them kinda duped me into believing he was cleaner than he is. he said repeatedly that he deep cleans monthly when we were first chatting, and he seemed like a sincere person. little did i know that either his mental health had deteriorated (which he told me it had) and prevented him from cleaning as he said he would, or he’s just not that clean. he constantly leaves bacon grease all over the kitchen, and i have turned on the electric stove to find grease burning on it, which is a Big Fucking Issue. i have to do his dishes and wipe up his crumbs and spills if i want to cook and he leaves my towels to get musty with water crumpled on the counter. he regularly throws things in the trash that can be recycled or composted, and today i found a metal can in the compost (??).
the other roommate i brought into the house has essentially stopped living with us shortly after moving in: partially from being in love with her boyfriend and spending time with him, but largely because of the state of the kitchen. it’s gross. both her and i currently work in kitchens and both of us have taken culinary classes (she has a degree in it) and a big part is learning how to clean up a food prep space.
i recently figured out that i have ocd, which often manifests in organization and cleanliness. i know i have issues with order and germs. but this isn’t that. i have to sometimes rewash his dishes because there’s grease on a pan or there’s shit (not literally) on a glass. i do have issues with doing all of my dishes sometimes as i have pretty sporadic but serious mental illness that kicks in at inopportune times, and i have a busy schedule that makes it hard to handwash dishes for 20 mins before i need to go. but i always communicate if there’s a notable amount of dishes or they’ve been there for over a day. we don’t have a dishwasher either which makes things extra hard.
a few months back, i finally yelled at him over it. before this, i’d made a lot of gentle reminder comments about timely doing dishes and being conscientious about the common spaces. yes, i shouldn’t have chosen to yell while he was stoned, but he is always stoned and i couldn’t deal with it anymore. my other roommate sent us texts in december bringing up cleanliness and how she is going to move out early because of it.
i’m tired of dealing with this so i’m moving out at the end of the lease in a few months but i just feel bad for how scared he is of me. my partner and friends have told me that he needs to be a little scared if it means he cleans up. i get very stressed out just being in there if he hasn’t cleaned up. i’ve used sharp tones with him repeatedly and feel like i’m acting like a parent. he’s said he’s afraid of me coming home to a messy kitchen.
tldr: gross kitchen courtesy of messy roommate. he’s scared of me because i get upset with him but he won’t clean up if i use a gentle reminder. aita for giving him a piece of my mind and reminding him to wipe up bacon grease on the reg? aita for getting on his case when i’m not a perfectly clean roommate either?
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Boy King AU | Vettonso + Martian | 1.3k
There's something about putting the future emperor of the Holy Realm on his knees like this. About how easily he goes, how willingly, how obediently. What would his adoring public think if they could see him now. If they saw their beloved king pressed down like this, in the cramped space between Fernando's legs. When they realized their little boy king took it like he was a little concubine instead.
Fernando's bitterness is lifted away in moments like these, like taking off a heavy cloak on a winter's day. It was hard to feel humiliated about his own situation when watching Sebastian debase himself like this.
He always gives himself up so easily. When Fernando threaded his fingers through his thick curls. When he pulled them, and then when he pressed his face down further down into the vee of his legs. Sebastian rubbed his cheek into the coarse fabric of Fernando's breeches and blinked up at him. Fernando had to smother an embarrassing sound; he was just like a little cat!
Sebastian quirked his lips up into an odd little smile and slightly rose up on his knees, "What's funny?" Fernando swallowed lightly and schooled his face back into being impassive, "Nothing. As you were." Sebastian simply smirked at him and let himself be pushed back down by the fist clenched in his hair.
Fernando scoffed internally, there was only so much pleasure in putting the other man in his place when he instead acted like this, this degrading action, was his birthright. He took to ruling and indulging in carnal pleasures as if they were of equal gravity. To be privileged to hold such high station and also let himself be taken apart like this…Fernando felt embarrassed for him.
He is dragged away from his musings when Sebastian moved to settle his hands in Fernando's lap, clutching his hips over the fabric and slightly squeezing; Fernando fought against the urge to shiver. Sebastian pushed up the skirt of Fernando's waistcoat and smoothed his hands over the opening flap of his breeches.
His eyes darted up at Fernando again, a daft smile on his face. Fernando scowled at him, "What?" Seb's grin sharpened, "You could stand to be a little more gracious. This is your future emperor, and future husband might I add, kneeling for you on this dirty, depraved, derelict- ah–" Fernando tugged on his hair again and hissed, "Well then, why don't you show me how eager you are to perform your marital duties?"
Seb licked his lips, completely unconcerned by Fernando's annoyance, and unbuttoned one side of the closure to Fernando's breeches and moved to open the other–
The door to the carriage flew open, arrival announcement dying on a wheezing breath as the servant took in the image the two kings made. One splayed across the seat, exuding power, the other kneeled, debauched, between the former's legs.
One would be hard pressed to determine which was higher on the totem of power and titles.
There was something gratifying about this to Fernando, about being caught. He had been humiliated enough throughout the entire courtship, what was one more thing? And, certainly, what was one more thing if he could drag Sebastian down into the dirt with him.
"Oh Mark, don't act so abashed! It's nothing you haven't seen before, in fact, we have been in this very position not even a fortnight ago!"
Oh. Yes. That.
It was hard to be completely pleased when he remembered how Sebastian had already spent years prior to their engagement sampling the palace's ample selection of fellow high-born men. And how all those men seemed to be completely and utterly wrapped around his little finger.
Fernando released his hand from Sebastian's hair as if it had burned him. He did not understand why he felt ashamed with Mark looking in on them like this. Fernando was the one marrying Sebastian, not Mark; Mark was just a lowly courtier who had the esteemed duty of spending practically every waking hour with the brat…something he himself was decidedly not looking forward to.
Sebastian stayed kneeling, staring impassively up at Mark, still fiddling with the clasp on Fernando's breeches. Fernando gritted his teeth and looked up from where he was watching Sebastian's clever little hands; Mark stared back at him placidly.
Mark's indifference made the entire situation worse. Fernando now felt as if he was not doing anything unique, not doing anything particularly new. How many other men had Mark caught Seb with in this exact position? Fernando felt like he was just another plaything of the boy king, soon to be boy emperor, except his position was forever, permanent. He was the "Kept King", the king who only kept his throne due to the whims of a boy who doesn't even understand what power is.
Mark coughed, "Well," he says, "Your Majesty, I do believe you have a meeting to attend." Seb pouted at him and whined, "We were just getting to the main course," but still braced himself on Fernando's thighs and got up off the carriage floor.
Seb pranced down the steps Mark had placed next to the carriage, miming tripping sown the stairs, snickering when his action made Mark reflexively reach out to grab him, and then playfully skipped off the final step.
Fernando couldn't help but stare as Mark made the weirdest grimace in response, and he inexplicably felt all his mortification seep away from him. Huh. Maybe Mark is-
Seb then turned around and frowned at him, seemingly disappointed, but his eyes are deceivingly sharp, "Fernando, I regret to inform you that I have other duties I must attend to, you will simply have to wait." He then grinned up at Mark next to him and giggled as the other man stiffened when Sebastian looped both of his arms through Mark's.
He leaned all his weight on the other man, Mark not so much as shifting his weight, "Oh Mark, won't you carry me back to the palace? I'm so very tired after all the horse riding," Seb looked up at him imploringly.
Fernando observed as Mark rolled his eyes and shrugged off the man, though notably not pulling his arm from Seb's grasp, and he got the distinct feeling that this exact scene had been played out countless times before.
Fernando clenched his jaw as he watched Seb turn and saunter off, Mark trotting alongside him like a loyal dog. Fernando was supposed to be the unaffected one in this partnership, the unflustered one, the unconcerned one. And yet here he stood, in broad daylight, in a foreign kingdom, on the steps of a carriage with his breeches half unbuttoned and his cravat in disarray.
He heard a cough from beside him, jolted and looked to the side. Sebastian's loyal Horse Master stood there, lounging against the side of the carriage. Fernando had forgotten who had even been driving the carriage in the first place. After Seb has let himself be pushed down, his hair still windswept from their ride together, everything else seemed to fade away. His thoughts were reduced only to how he could mess up the younger man's hair further.
Jenson grinned at him wolfishly, and casually crossed his legs, "First time?" he inquired. Fernando glared at him. The other man laughed openly at him, "What? He's a busy man with big prospects. You're not his majesty's only conquest, you know. Now your throne on the other hand…"
Fernando seethed, it was one thing to be humiliated by the future emperor, but to be patronized by the king's horse boy? No. It would simply not do. He closed his eyes in annoyance, pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaled, and prepared a speech about how he was not about to be talked down to by a man who didn't even have a throne to speak of!
But when he opened his eyes again and opened his mouth to begin his tirade, Jenson was already wandering away to tend to the horses. Dios mío, Fernando was not mentally prepared to spend the rest of his life with all of these impertinent morons.
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What gets me about certain people being so fucking pissy about Bob not writing much about Eilistraee (until the last fucking trilogy where EIlistraeans featured heavily) is that
a) Bob basically built drow culture up from almost nothing, and Eilistraee came after he started writing Drizzt
b) no you guys really don't understand. I own the first 4 modules drow appeared in. There's... not much there. And it hasn't aged well.
c) and the Big One: he has a specific vision for his specific characters when it comes to the narrative he wants to explore, from sexual abuse to religious trauma, both of which are fucking complicated and for most people just switching deities isn't enough to fix that.
I have religious trauma that I still struggle with to this day and probably will for the rest of my life to some extent, and it's fundamentally different in nature from what most people would probably expect, and the thing is even though I am happily polytheistic and very enthusiastically into it, I still struggle a lot with certain things because every time I get into my religious practice I have to actively force myself into (or out of) certain things because my whole relationship to religion and spirituality is complicated and messy.
It would be easy and frankly incredibly superficial for Bob to decide to just have them all convert to half-assed Neowiccan ~woo~ drow Jesus Eilistraee to *~*save their souls*~* and call it a day
BUT HE DIDN'T DO THAT
Partly because she wasn't his creation and other authors were writing her at the time so he really couldn't, and partly because it's a shitty message to send.
Sometimes people benefit from converting to a new religion or following a new deity. Sometimes people don't.
I benefited from gradually converting to my religion, but it's come with a whole different set of complications and hasn't been a smooth journey for me.
Just going from extensive religious trauma to switching deities does not fix your problems, and for a lot of people it realistically can make them much worse.
but also
you don't have to be saved by a deity in order to have value as a person
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