how best to articulate my thoughts on the grand inquisitor leaning into the fear he instills by existing as pau’an around humans

well

ancillary material suggests most species have reflexive fearful reactions to pau’ans predatory uh physiognomy, their facial features. in ways, i’m sure a pau’an far flung from "home" may internalize that incidental fear as a responsibility to combat humans’ discomfort: be friendly, be demure, don’t smile too toothy. 

interestingly, the grand inquisitor dialed up his “scarier" traits after turning to the dark side i.e. bloody up his tears (from well-done to rare), bear his teeth

i’m of the belief that a full turn to the dark side is not unlike a stopper in a bottle being uncorked, and its innards being all the insecurities and shame a force sensitive couldn’t master. 

thus this

then this

a simple reading of this would be: oh i'm the monster? i'll be the monster, i'll SO be the monster. but that is tired, because it is simple and easy. my wired take is that, in the spirit of his self-imposed isolation ("can the inquisitors and i help?" girl, that's you), he distances himself in a way in which he is perceived to be not only unapproachable, but is the subject of envy. finally he is powerful because people are afraid, because he is feared in the age of the empire where power and fear are what make the imperial ideal. he two-fold detaches himself from human scorn while reveling in their longing for what he has: their fear (and he is unafraid to ham that up with ink and scenery chewing)

it's what makes moments like tarkin bossing him around and brendol bickering with him in public contrast so potently with scenes like above and below

because there are people who can call his bluff, can see the vulnerability of the emperor's grand inquisitor is his responsibility to serve, as is a jedi's, or a pau'an's, forever flanked by human eyes

Kaine connecting with religion but that religion being Catholicism always felt like a wasted opportunity and/or something that still has the potential for a good story? Perfect way to explicitly state Peter's Jewish identity and explore it. Also tbh I think Judaism would be good for Kaine. Yes I'm also Jewish but I swear I'm speaking objectively- it's such a hopeful religion and culture, rooted in struggle and survival in a way that Christianity isn't.

That's a really good insight about survival and Judaism and Kaine, anon. It's like the old joke about every Jewish holiday being "they tried to kill us, we survived, let's eat" but for Kaine it's more like "they tried to kill me, they succeeded, I'm here anyway so now I'm going to order $800 worth of room service." Extremely Jewish of him.

I have complicated feelings about Kaine and Catholicism—though I'm gonna go ahead and say I think comics in general handle Catholicism badly and kind of just treat it like General Christianity or Default Christianity which is I guess what happens when your media empire is founded by Jews.

It's always giving this.

But yeah like honestly I don't think my feelings on Kaine and Catholicism and Kaine and heterosexuality are really that different, where he's aware that these are things you do to Be A Person but doesn't grasp the nuance because he was grown in a vat by the worst man to ever get tenure, so he's trying to connect to something that isn't a good fit for him or that maybe he's not particularly interested in as part of his efforts to be a Real Person and not just Peter Parker's broken clone. Which is really interesting! I don't think that was Yost's intent in Scarlet Spider (2012) when it comes to either Christianity or the Kaine/Annabelle romance, but that's always how it comes off to me on a subtextual level. Kaine is trying to do things the "right way" but he only has a very limited idea of what the right way is, or even that there are other options out there for him. He sees a church, he goes into the church. He sees a girl who is into him, he tries to follow a script where he can't be with her because he's bad news, not because he's not actually interested. (I have a lot of feelings on Kaine's canon romances, such as they are. He's the gay clone.)

And because he's not like Ben and he doesn't have all of Peter's memories, he's sort of awkwardly stumbling around the concept of faith as he sees it in the wider world, without a full understanding of either the nuances of that faith or of his own heritage through Peter. I also feel like even if he did know Peter was Jewish, that might be something he would feel reluctant to embrace unless he was given permission by Peter to share in that with him, because of his complicated feelings on Peter and Ben and his relation to both of them and what he feels he can and can't take away from those connections and what he hasn't earned.

I also do sometimes wonder if Miles Warren was a (lapsed) Catholic and if that's something Kaine picked up through him. That would be something interesting to explore.

Even more Loki meta. The most Loki meta of Loki meta. Part 2

The Loom is a metaphor for the broken system. The quest to try and fix the broken system is what gave each of the characters the opportunity to evolve. To answer the important questions. At their core, who are they? Who are they becoming? What do they want? What are they willing to sacrifice?

B15 showed the TVA that they had to change. Even the hardline General Dox in the end accepted that. Instead of the TVA erupting into factions and violence, they told everyone the truth: they were variants. They had their lives erased. They had been stolen, repurposed, lied to, and they had been mindlessly giving up their own free will. Absolved of any wrongdoing, because the Timekeepers dictated the proper flow of time. Someone above their pay grade had taken the burden of all those the hard choices onto their own shoulders. The Timekeepers made it easy for them. People like easy. So, they put their heads down and woke up every day doing their small parts enforcing a broken system, committing genocide over and over again in order to have the promise of a paradise that was only ever an illusion.

They had to individually and as a group recognise that every being on every timeline deserved a chance. That they were exactly like them. That they all mattered. They had to decide who they were now, and who they wanted to become. They had to take up the burden they had so long ago given away, and learn how to make their own choices. Especially the difficult ones. That from now on, no-one was paving their way, giving them a set path to follow. That choice didn’t always breed shame and uncertainty and regret.

The TVA isn't full of mindless fascist drones. The TVA aren't time cops. The TVA can be the equivalent of social services, first responders, and support for the entire multiverse. The massive bureaucratic machine that was originally built to limit reality can be repurposed to support the growth of new worlds because unlike the loom, the TVA was made up of people. And people can and do change.

Sylvie believes she had freed the multiverse. She used HWR’s TemPad to monitor the timelines for his variants, and only stepped in when Victor Timely was weaponised and became a threat. She learned that killing Timely was not her only solution. That killing was not the only solution. She learned to recognise the toxic anger and hatred inside her was slowly poisoning her and she needed to let it and Renslayer and her obsession go in order to move forward. She learned she was able to let people in, form connections, find a home and put down roots. The price she paid was losing the first friends she had ever made. Severing the first real connection in her life. And she deemed that an acceptable loss. Loki was collateral damage.

Mobius is struggling to deal with losing the most significant relationship in his long life, and the one person who truly knew him because she had been his partner for as long as he could remember. The big picture had always been a lie. Most of all, he was struggling to accept he did not truly know himself. He was afraid to find out who he had been, because what if he didn’t like what he found? Or worse, what if he regretted his choice, and spent the rest of eternity mourning the life he’d never had?

In the end, it wasn’t Loki who got through to him. It was Sylvie taught him that he had to see who he had been, in order to figure out who he was becoming. To find a new purpose. And she helps Loki do the same. She forces him to stop running, look past the short-term goals of surviving minute to minute, and instead identify what he really wants.

And over the course of the series, he grows and evolves to the point where he is ready to accept that the system needs to be replaced with something better—but they need to find a way to do that without sacrificing the people of the TVA or the people of the multiverse. He confronts his fears: that he will not know who he is and where he truly belongs without the people who inspired him to become the best version of himself: Mobius, Sylvie, B15, Ouroboros, Casey, even Victor Timely.

HWR insists that to all Loki has to do is kill one person to save everyone else. But the price of that choice is continuing to exterminate entire realities every time the timeline branches. Acceptable losses. Collateral damage.

But Loki refuses to believe it’s a binary choice; all or nothing. He believes there must be another way, a third option. That becomes his new purpose.

And he tries. He tries so hard. He spends eons trying to find a loophole, and escape plan. He has always been good at escaping. Surviving terrible, painful losses. So, he keeps at it, desperately seeking an answer that will allow him to keep what he has found, without sacrifice. At first, it’s just trying to save this handful of people he loves. It expands to the whole of the TVA. And then, as all of existence is shredded right in front of his eyes, and he witnesses the collapse of reality as he knows it, he realises the stakes are so much higher. That there is so much more at stake.

He learns from Mobius that most purpose is more burden than glory. And that the scar tissue from a lifetime of the pain and loss are what allows you to live with the burden.

He learns from Sylvie, and all his own painful losses, that sometimes it’s okay to destroy something if there’s a hope that you can replace that thing with something better.

So, Loki asks himself the important questions: Who is he? Who is he becoming? What does he want?  What is he willing to sacrifice? And he realises the only answer. He realises where he belongs. He finds his glorious purpose when he sees the big picture. Growth and change are only possible once they are able to remove the filter that was set up to refine all of reality into one single strand. There can be no free will until the loom is destroyed.

So Loki is brave. He crosses the threshold and forces his way, one foot in front of the other, down that long walkway easily the length of his father’s throne room. He uses his power to destroy the loom that is killing the branches, and opens the door to the Citadel at the End of Time. He grasps the dying branches one by one and enchants them just as Sylvie taught him. He uses all that power not to destroy, but to heal them. To pour his power and his life into them, so that they cannot just survive but grow.

He steps off the broken bridge and begins to climb the steps to what is left of HWR’s seat of power. Even as the citadel crumbles around him, he climbs and as he climbs, all the gold gilds the broken chair, creating an echo of his father’s throne, Hliðskjálf. The highest perch in all of creation, with the widest view. As he ascends to his throne and takes his place upon it as God-King of the universe, the last vestiges of the citadel and HWR’s system falls to dust and blows away. And the multiverse is born.

Because Loki did it. He acquired everything he wanted, and he did it himself. Not because it was supposed to happen. But because rewrote the story. He dictated how his story begins. It was always his story.  He chose to write his own destiny, of his own free will. And at the centre of Yggdrasil, he is no longer afraid of being alone, because he is the beating heart of the entire multiverse. He is not alone, and he never will be because he is connected through the branches of the world tree to everyone he cares about.  

Loki becomes who he was always meant to be: The God of Stories.

i was thinking about ur Durge x Gortash x Gale art, and its dynamic implications, and i thought of a slightly different version i thought youd like to hear,

Gortash x Gale x Tav

Hear me out, SPOILERS OF COURSE

Gale is torn between being Gale Dekarois, the man who loves his cat and learning, and being Gale of Waterdeep, the powerful wizard who was proud and strong enough to draw the goddess of magic herself, and who better to represent those desires then Enver & Tav?

Devilish Enver who hungers for control and power, whispering promises in his ear, of ruling together, of all his dark desires fufilled, of controlling the crown, because who needs the absolute when they themselves ascend to godhood?

Darling Tav who is sweet and charming, risking everything to save everyone, who accepted every piece of him, who would stand in defiance, who'd refused to compromise with evil and come out on top every time, who has given him hope and unconditional love.

i totally ranted for much longer then i meant lol but i am just very passionate

OMG THAT'S INTERESTING and I thought about them too!! thank you!! before I go to Tav x Gale x Gortash let's talk why I started all of this with Gale x Gortash (but it's with avatar Gale most likely bc there he can do literally what he wants bc we're controlling him lmao) so, it's literally a dynamic between two chosen - Bane already desired Mystra's power so in Gale's "I wanna reforge the Crown and ascend" corruption arc an alliance with Gortash can be useful to take her down their relationship is not about love, it's about partnership and world domination (because if players don't try to convince Gale to throw his ambition his root is an attempt to become a new god) and yes, the plot leads to a different outcome, but i love making different scenarios so it's like a trade offer - Gortash gets the opportunity to implement his plan, and Gale gets a strong ally to try to take revenge on Mystra and get rid of the sphere it's more about partners in crime again than feelings ig but we all know that in the canon this ambition does not end with anything good for one or the other but their duet would be truly catastrophic, provided that Gortash knows perfectly well what to put pressure on and what to say so, back to the Gortash x Gale x Tav: Gale is very easy to manipulate - Mystra has been doing this for a long time, we can do the same and Gortash, a specialist in manipulation, especially. Gale becomes attached very quickly, he doesn't like himself so much that he is ready for literally anything for the sake of those who give him attention. Gortash can take an advantage of it. My Tav - bard named Nayris Sterr - the absolute opposite of both Gale and Gortash. He doesn't need power even in theory of ascending and blah blah blah, he just wants to tell a story - and fate decides what it will be. For Gale, Nayris is a guiding light, he never judges him, but sees when something goes wrong. He knows people too well, especially their psychology and behavior - and he will not press if he sees traces of some kind of trauma. And even despite Gale's good intentions, he knows that the option of using the crown will not lead to good outcome. History should not repeat itself (yeah Karsus hello!!). And this is the first person to accept him for who he really is, not who he tries to become. Their relationship is about mutual help and understanding, even though Nayris is not a wizard and not Mystra's chosen one, he is still the same person who just wants to help Gale remember that he's a human being at the first place and he matters. He really matters - and not only to him. Gale has gone through a lot of pain, especially the trauma of the abandoned. The fact that he always wants to prove something - but he does not need to prove it and Nayris will let him know.

But what if he just won't listen? Or if the bard says something wrong and Gale realizes that their connection is not so strong as he thought. After meeting with Gortash and information about the crown - Nayris is categorically against it - he could certainly go his own way. In the canon, he is quite loyal due to affection and feelings, but what if the realization came to him that he is free to do whatever he wants? Their bond would be about obsession, trust and disastrous consequences. Gale is dependent on Mystra, in love with Tav (Nayris) but sees potential and ambition in Gortash. whether the desire to take revenge on Mystra and become a deity or the awareness of attachment to a single person will prevail - who knows

The Power of Patience: Trusting God in Seasons of Waiting

In life, we often find ourselves in seasons of waiting—waiting for answers, waiting for breakthroughs, waiting for changes, waiting for restoration. These periods of uncertainty can be challenging and even painful, testing our faith and resolve, sometimes no matter how much action we take it seems all you have left is your Faith, Faith without action is dead but sometimes there is no action to take other than having faith and believing it, speaking to the Lord and trusting him are also actions. However, as believers, it's crucial to remember that God has a purpose for every season, and even in the waiting, there is an opportunity to grow closer to Him.

Scripture reminds us of the importance of patience and trusting in God's timing.

In Psalm 27:14, we are encouraged to "Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!" Similarly, Isaiah 40:31 tells us, "But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint."

These verses remind us that waiting on the Lord is not a passive act but rather an opportunity to strengthen our faith and character. It's a time to lean on God's promises and trust that He is working behind the scenes, orchestrating everything for our good (Romans 8:28).

Yet, trusting in God's timing can be difficult, especially when we've been given signs or indications of what's to come. We may question why God seems silent or why our prayers remain unanswered. However, it's precisely in these moments of uncertainty that our faith is refined.

Consider the story of Abraham and Sarah in the Bible. God promised them a son, but years passed without the fulfillment of that promise. Despite their doubts and impatience, they continued to trust in God's faithfulness. Eventually, Isaac was born, fulfilling God's promise in His perfect timing (Genesis 21:1-7).

Similarly, Joseph endured years of hardship and injustice before seeing God's plan unfold in his life (Genesis 37-45). Yet, through it all, Joseph remained faithful and continued to praise God, knowing that His purposes would prevail.

Trusting in God's timing requires surrendering our desires and plans to Him, even when it's painful. It means acknowledging that His ways are higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9) and that He sees the bigger picture, even when we can't.

So, how do we trust in God during seasons of waiting, especially when it hurts?

First, we must remain rooted in prayer and the Word of God. Prayer keeps us connected to God, allowing us to pour out our hearts and concerns to Him. Reading Scripture reminds us of God's promises and faithfulness, providing comfort and encouragement in times of uncertainty.

Second, we must cultivate an attitude of gratitude and praise. Even in the waiting, there are blessings to be found. As we focus on God's goodness and faithfulness in the past, we can trust Him for the future.

Psalm 34:1 reminds us, "I will bless the Lord at all times; his praise shall continually be in my mouth."

Lastly, we must surrender our timeline to God and embrace His perfect timing. As we wait, we can rest assured that God is working all things together for our good (Romans 8:28). Our job is to remain faithful and obedient, trusting that God's plans for us are far greater than we could ever imagine (Ephesians 3:20).

In conclusion, seasons of waiting are an inevitable part of life, but they are also opportunities for growth and deepened faith. By patiently trusting in God's timing, remaining steadfast in prayer and praise and standing on Faith, and surrendering our desires to His will, we can navigate these seasons with hope and confidence. So, let us wait upon the Lord with eager anticipation, knowing that He is faithful to fulfill His promises in His perfect time.

Sharri Van Zyl

14-03-2024

+ “The final chapter is ours to write. We know what we need to do. What happens next is up to us.” Sir David Attenborough

Our Common Home: Lessons from Pope Francis' 'Laudate Deum'

In a world increasingly grappling with environmental challenges, Pope Francis' recent apostolic exhortation, "Laudate Deum," offers invaluable insights into the urgent need for care and stewardship of our planet, lovingly referred to as "our common home." This blog piece explores the significance of environmental protection, the challenges of our current multilateral system, the role of faith in fostering a deeper connection with the Earth, and why it is particularly relevant to Christians across the globe. Pope Francis' message underscores the notion that hope-filled, faith-inspired actions are vital, for "The world sings of an infinite Love: how can we fail to care for it?" (#65).

The Challenge of International Climate Agreements: A Historical Perspective

For several decades, representatives from around the world have convened to address climate change. While these meetings have had their successes and shortcomings, there is much to be learned from the past. The 1997 Kyoto Protocol set ambitious targets for reducing greenhouse gas emissions, but it failed to meet them. It is reminiscent of the wisdom found in Matthew 6:28-29:

"Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they toil not, neither do they spin. And yet I say unto you that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these."

In 2015, the Paris Agreement breathed new life into global climate efforts, but its success depends on unwavering commitment and political determination.

The Urgent Need for Climate Action: Lessons from COP28

COP28, hosted by the United Arab Emirates, presents a pivotal opportunity to accelerate the shift to sustainable energy sources. This is especially significant given the UAE's role as a major fossil fuel exporter. Their investments in renewable energy align with biblical wisdom in Leviticus 25:23, which reminds us that "the land shall not be sold in perpetuity, for the land is mine; with me, you are but aliens and tenants."

COP28 is our chance to prove that the years of effort since 1992 were not in vain. The urgency of the situation cannot be overstated, and it is in line with Pope Francis' message: every effort counts, and even the smallest action can alleviate suffering. The time to reduce global carbon emissions is running out, and action cannot be delayed. We need binding, efficient, obligatory, and readily monitored commitments from all nations for a sustainable energy transition.

The Role of Faith in Environmental Stewardship

In Laudate Deum, Pope Francis emphasizes the crucial role of faith and spirituality in fostering a deep connection with nature. He invokes passages from the Bible, emphasizing God's proclamation that "everything... was very good." This biblical perspective recognises the Earth as sacred and deserving of our care.

For Christians worldwide, our motivation to respond is hope-filled. We believe that the risen Christ reconciles all creatures to himself. As Pope Francis says,

"The world sings of an infinite Love: how can we fail to care for it?" (#65)

This deep-rooted faith calls us to see the world as a gift from God, worthy of reverence and protection. We must remember that we are tenants of the Earth, not its owners. Pope Francis’ situated anthropocentrism (#67) compels us to live in harmony with the environment instead of exploiting it for short-term gain.

Hope in the Face of Adversity

Despite the grave challenges we face, Pope Francis reminds us that we must maintain hope. To "‘say there is nothing to hope for... would mean exposing humanity, especially the poorest, to the worst impacts of climate change" (#54). Our faith compels us to have hope, as Romans 8:19-21 tells us,

"For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God."

Hope is not merely wishful thinking; it is a powerful motivator for change. It inspires individuals, communities, and nations to act and preserve our common home. Hope encourages us to look beyond the challenges and work collectively towards a sustainable and harmonious future.

Journeying in Communion and Commitment

For Christians across the globe, our faith calls us to recognize that we are part of a universal family. That human life is incomprehensible and unsustainable without other creatures.

For “as part of the universe… all of us are linked by unseen bonds and together form a kind of universal family, a sublime communion which fills us with a sacred, affectionate and humble respect”. Laudato Si (#42)

Individual, family, and community efforts are pivotal in creating a culture of environmental responsibility. Changes in daily habits contribute to a cultural shift essential for addressing environmental challenges. Furthermore, these changes exert pressure on political sectors to prioritize long-term environmental interests over short-term gains.

Conclusion: A Christian Duty

In conclusion, Laudate Deum by Pope Francis calls for a renewal of our commitment to care for our common home. International climate agreements and the urgency of COP28, the transformative power of faith, and the importance of hope underscore the vital role of Christians across the globe in environmental stewardship. Our faith and the risen Christ's reconciliation of all creatures to himself are motivating factors. In the face of environmental degradation and climate change, we have a calling that transcends borders, denominations, and ideologies. As Christians, we must unite in the noble pursuit of a sustainable and harmonious future for our planet, guided by the ever-present light of hope.

References

Apostolic Exhortation Laudato Deum (4 October 2013), Libreria Editrice Vaticana.

Encyclical Letter Laudato Si’ (24 May 2015), 89: AAS 107 (2015), 883.

Adriano Di Prato is a best-selling author, broadcaster and the Academic Operations Manager at LCI Melbourne, a progressive art, design + enterprise private institute of higher education.

〈 ᴏᴅᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰʀɪᴇɴᴅ ᴠᴏʟᴜᴍᴇ ᴏɴᴇ 〉— Sakamaki Richter

Important Notes:

Yes I am aware that I wrote this instead of answering the scenario asks already in my ask box. However, I hope you all enjoyed this regardless^^ I’m mostly testing out how I want to organise these short stories, with this little set; so feel free to give feedback. And tell me if anything doesn’t make sense. :)

Now on a more specific note: I had fun doing this. I’m always looking for excuses to explore Richter and Karl’s characters, so little stories like these are giving me the opportunity to do that. I hope you enjoy!^^

Soft locks of green swished and swayed in the outside wind, individual strands flowing like vines, ready to strangle whatever they touch. The individual connected to such flowing locks stood tranquil, hands dove deep into spacious pockets. His gaze was peaceful, and his stood in the heart of growing winds— It would storm tonight, he supposed. One of the most violent the Makai had seen in some time.

The silhouette stood strong, though was as graceful as it could be. As if were ready to blow away in such a harsh breeze, at any given moment. How far would he fly, he wondered. He wondered if he would be swept away, long passed the borders of life, death, and whatever lies in between. The man wondered how far the wind would take him, if he were to just fall into it’s arms.

Tired eyes scanned the valley he had wandered to. His days of wandering the Earth, hoping that his memories would long fade, have returned. The days of wishing that time would consume the darkest depths of his mind, have come to say hello again. If only life could be reset. A fresh start, from the dawn of time. Wipe his slate clean, and start anew. What choices would he make, if he would even do anything differently at all.

❝ What would you do in this situation, I wonder…❞

It was like his vocal cords were failing to register the vibrations, struggling to push out the man’s voice. It came out scratchy, and rough, like a broken record. The sandy dunes of the unknown wasteland he had stumbled upon were being swept away in the wind; sandy particles and bits of debris stabbing at his skin, leaving him with numbing pains. Though not running, he instead embraced. Back hitting the soft terrain, a dull thud sounding in its place. He traced the patterns the wind was choosing to show him, as if he were watching some child’s puppet show. Sand blowing this way and that, almost like magic young ones would see in children shows. He almost couldn’t believe it, how fantastical the world could be, in its most natural state.

However for every fantastical element Mother Nature decides to bestow, thus comes something wicked to keep the balance. Whether you were in the Makai, or on Earth, any sentient being could tell: The world reeks of death. Natural disasters, and even the smallest of substances, ready to take a life at every corner. Any person who realises this fact knows to heed its warnings, succumb to Mother Nature’s mercy.

❝ But you didn’t… You would defy the universe itself, if you had to…❞

The forest of green atop the mans head spiralled out like tree roots. Like the very veins that run through the world around him. How childish of him… A grown man, having run away from home for the evening. A grown man sprawled out in sandy dunes, in god knows who’s territory. He was like a small boy, all over again. Though right now, not a single thought crossed his mind. All except for one.. That person. The person he had lost so long ago, yet the same one who was defying time itself. No matter how long he waited, how long he suffered… He wouldn’t leave his mind. The individual wished to give up his bodily autonomy. Give up the right to think, the right to feel. Let numbness set in, as time and time again death fails to embrace him into its arms. He was so tired… And simply wished to dry up. Dissolve, in the sand he now called his bed for the evening. But as always, only one thought remained. The culmination of everything he’s ever wanted to say, yet the words he never knew he had the courage to speak.

Was he hallucinating? Was sand building up in his eyes, or has the dry substance absorbed all the blood from his head? For before his eyes, he noticed a figure, being formed in sand. An all too familiar figure, as if it were being probed directly from his subconscious. How convenient. Almost as if he were blissed out of his mind, the man’s head cocked. His eyes were softened— Colours desaturated as the life threatened to drain from him. Despite everything. Despite the numbness, the exhaustion, the need for release… The corners of his mouth curled. If he was going to speak, now should be the time. Then maybe, hopefully, he could let go. He could let himself rest, and his eyes would close just one last time…

❝ My light, my…. friend, are you listening… For this, is my ode to you. ❞

“The main problem in any democracy is that crowd pleasers are generally brainless swine who can go out on a stage & whup their supporters into an orgiastic frenzy - then go back to the office & sell every one of the poor bastards down the tube for a nickel apiece. Probably the rarest form of life in American politics is the man who can turn on a crowd & still keep his head straight - assuming it was straight in the first place.

Which harks back to McGovern's problem. He is probably the most honest big-time politician in America; Robert Kennedy, several years before he was murdered, called George McGovern "the most decent man in the Senate." Which is not quite the same thing as being the best candidate for President of the United States. For that, McGovern would need at least one dark kinky streak of Mick Jagger in his soul . . .

Not much, & perhaps not even enough so people would notice at lunch in the Capitol Hill Hotel or walking down the hallway of the Senate Office Building - but just enough to drift out on the stage in front of a big crowd & let the spectacle turn him on.

That may be the handle. Maybe the whole secret of turning a crowd on is getting turned on yourself by the crowd. The only candidate running for the presidency today who seems to understand this is George Wallace which might at least partially explain why Bobby Kennedy was the only candidate who could take votes away from Wallace in '68. Kennedy, like Wallace, was able to connect with people on some kind of visceral, instinctive level that is probably both above & below "rational politics." (page 127)

“McGovern's brain-trust, though, had come up with the idea that the Wallace vote was "soft” - that the typical Wallace voter, especially in the North and Midwest, was far less committed to Wallace himself than to his thundering, gut-level appeal to rise up and smash all the "pointy-headed bureaucrats in Washington" who'd been fucking them over for so long.

The root of the Wallace magic was a cynical, showbiz instinct for knowing exactly which issues would whip a hall full of beer-drinking factory workers into a frenzy - and then doing exactly that, by howling down from the podium that he had an instant, overnight cure for all their worst afflictions: Taxes? Nigras? Army worms killing the turnip crop? Whatever it was, Wallace assured his supporters that the solution was actually real simple, and that the only reason they had any hassle with the government at all was because those greedy bloodsuckers in Washington didn't want the problems solved, so they wouldn't be put out of work.

The ugly truth is that Wallace had never even bothered to understand the problems - much less come up with any honest solutions - but "the Fighting Little Judge" has never lost much sleep from guilt feelings about his personal credibility gap. Southern politicians are not made that way. Successful con men are treated with considerable respect in the South. A good slice of the settler population of that region were men who'd been given a choice between being shipped off to the New World in leg-irons and spending the rest of their lives in English prisons. The Crown saw no point in feeding them year after year, and they were far too dangerous to be turned loose on the streets of London - so, rather than overload the public hanging schedule, the King's Minister of Gaol decided to put this scum to work on the other side of the Atlantic, in The Colonies, where cheap labor was much in demand.

Most of these poor bastards wound up in what is now the Deep South because of the wretched climate. No settler with good sense and a few dollars in his pocket would venture south of Richmond. There was plenty of opportunity around Boston, New York, and Philadelphia - and by British standards the climate in places like South Carolina and Georgia was close to Hell on Earth: swamps, alligators, mosquitos, tropical disease . . . all this plus a boiling sun all day long and no way to make money unless you had a land grant from the King.

So the South was sparsely settled at first, and the shortage of skilled labor was a serious problem to the scattered aristocracy of would-be cotton barons who had been granted huge tracts of good land that would make them all rich if they could only get people to work it.

The slave-trade was one answer, but Africa in 1699 was not a fertile breeding ground for middle-management types . . . and the planters said it was damn near impossible for one white man to establish any kind of control over a boatload of black primitives. The bastards couldn't even speak English. How could a man get the crop in, with brutes like that for help?

There would have to be managers, keepers, overseers: white men who spoke the language, and had a sense of purpose in life. But where would they come from? There was no middle class in the South: only masters and slaves and all that rich land lying fallow.

The King was quick to grasp the financial implications of the problem: The crops must be planted and harvested, in order to sell them for gold - and if all those lazy bastards needed was a few thousand half-bright English-speaking lackeys in order to bring the crops in . . . hell, that was easy: Clean out the jails, cut back on the Crown's grocery bill, jolt the liberals off balance by announcing a new "Progressive Amnesty" program for hardened criminals . . .

Wonderful. Dispatch royal messengers to spread the good word in every corner of the kingdom; and after that send out professional pollsters to record an amazing 66 percent jump in the King's popularity . . . then wait a few weeks before announcing the new 10 percent sales tax on ale.

That's how the South got settled. Not the whole story, perhaps, but it goes a long way toward explaining why George Wallace is the Governor of Alabama. He has the same smile as his great-grandfather - a thrice-convicted pig thief from somewhere near Nottingham, who made a small reputation, they say, as a jailhouse lawyer, before he got shipped out.

Indeed. With a bit of imagination you can almost hear the cranky litle bastard haranguing his fellow prisoners in London's infamous Hardcase jail, urging them on to revolt:

"Lissen here, you poor fools! There's not much time! Even now up - there in the tower - they're cookin up some kind of cruel new punishment for us! How much longer will we stand for it? And now they want to ship us across the ocean to work like slaves in a swamp with a bunch of goddamn Hottentots!

"We won't go! It's asinine! We'll tear this place apart before we'll let that thieving old faggot of a king send us off to work next to Africans!

"How much more of this misery can we stand, boys? I know you're fed right up to here with it. I can see it in your eyes - pure misery! And I'm tellin' you, we don't have to stand for it! We can send the king a message and tell him how we feel! I'll write it up myself, and all you boys can sign it . . . or better still, I'll go talk to the king personally! All you boys have to do is dig me a little tunnel under the wall over there behind the gallows, and I'll . . . “

Right. That bottom line never changes: "You folks be sure and come to see me in the White House, you hear? There'll be plenty of room for my friends, after I clean house . . . but first I need your vote, folks, and after that I'll . . . “

George Wallace is one of the worst charlatans in politics, but there is no denying his talent for converting frustration into energy. What McGovern sensed in Florida, however - while Wallace was stomping him, along with all the others - was the possibility that Wallace appealed instinctively to a lot more people than would actually vote for him. He was stirring up more anger than he knew how to channel. The frustration was there, and it was easy enough to convert it - but what then? If Wallace had taken himself seriously as a presidential candidate - as a Democrat or anything else - he might have put together the kind of organization that would have made him a genuine threat in the primaries, instead of just a spoiler.” (pages 274 - 278)

michael is honestly one of the closest people sira has in her life. they are in fact besties and it's because she doesn't feel the need to pretend to be something she isn't around him. she doesn't have to hide what she is, what she does, or explain why. they understand each other's power and have mutual respect for it while being able to still have their disagreements and say how they feel to each other. he also is one of the only people that's gotten her to open up and that says so much about how much she trusts him and feels comfortable around him. and all of that while still caring about his thoughts and feelings and well-being. so safe to say mikey means a lot to her even though she's not good at saying it out loud. she would not be spending that much time with him and open up to him if he didn't ! ♡

They are literally two sides of the same coin. Both are extensions of Lucifer himself; she the embodiment of his wrath and he the scheming, deceptive one. But what connects them is that they, unlike the big guy, were born with humanity in them. It's impossible for Michael to deny that he does have very human nuances and they need what every human needs; socializing, warmth, understanding. Sira, too, needs understanding and warmth. But most wouldn't give her that given what she's become. They don't ask why, they just judge. He doesn't. She's killing people because she has to and suffers for it, whereas he relishes in watching cruelty unfold while preferring to let others do that dirty work. He knows by now that Sira suffers. And she knows by now that he's not a papercut Lucifer 2.0, but they don't belittle or berate each other for following their nature. They're less lonely when together, sharing a similar fate. Michael feels closer to his roots every time he's around her, where he doesn't have to play more charming than he is or anything, but can be his bratty self.

Also, he has so much fun with her! Not only because she provides him with opportunities to watch her do her bloody job, but she's unapologetic about her own desires too. There's no walking on eggshells, though he admittedly gets nervous whenever he pushes Sira too far and she gets angry. Because for better or worse, she's able to kick his ass so hard he'll cry for days. All in all, the way she literally goes to the ends of the world for her family, for Mia, instead of giving up because what Luci makes her do feels wrong... It impresses him. And it shows him what people are truly capable of doing if given the right impulse. Actually, he views her as a perfect example, whether she suffers for it or not. He may or may not feel a small pinch of jealousy about Sira being his dad's favorite, but he also believes that they were destined to meet and bond. Because they keep each other's darkness intact while providing enough humanity to nurture their motivation to go on.

Bonus, he kind of feels obligated to throw hands with any lesser demon that goes against Sira. Which Luci very likely supports.

||| What does Michael mean to your muse?

Join Us As We Explore Kmalectro's World On The 'Digital Highway' Let me introduce to you guys Kmalectro and his latest single “Digital Highway’, to him music is more than just tunes; it's like a tapestry, weaving together Rock, Electro, Jazz, and Classical Indian Music into something unique. What makes Kmalectro stand out isn't just his music as a lot of things are involved in each production, it's the way he mixes art and technology, with the help of a four-legged friend by his side for comfort and inspiration. In a recent interview with Mister Styx of Musicarenagh, he was asked if there was a story behind his stagename Kmalectro and this is what he had to say: “Kmalectro derives its roots from the word "Kamal," which means perfection in my language. However, I find myself far from perfection. In our context, "You've achieved Kamal" implies that you've accomplished something special, a form of art.” Also he shared the fact that aside doing music he has a job as an osteopath, physiotherapist, and trainer, with a focus on trauma patients. So, join us as we explore Kmalectro's world on the "Digital Highway" a journey that uncovers an artist who is focused on connecting us in a digital age and reminding us of the importance of supporting independent musicians. Strap in and come along on this musical adventure with Kmalectro, a rising star in the world of experimental and diverse music. Listen to Digital Highway below https://youtu.be/QZzMf554bns KMALECTRO out with Digital Highway ,KMALECTRO releases Digital Highway ,KMALECTRO with Digital Highway ,KMALECTRO drops Digital Highway ,Digital Highway by KMALECTRO,Digital Highway from KMALECTRO,KMALECTRO,Digital Highway ,KMALECTRO Digital Highway ,Digital Highway KMALECTRO Follow KMALECTRO on Facebook Spotify Youtube Instagram **What is your stage name?** My stage name is Kmalectro - and forgive the initial simplicity of my answer; I'm not accustomed to interviews. But I promise to bring more depth to my responses as we go on. **Is there a story behind your stage name?** Kmalectro derives its roots from the word "Kamal," which means perfection in my language. However, I find myself far from perfection. In our context, "You've achieved Kamal" implies that you've accomplished something special, a form of art. Given my upbringing around electricity and my belief that our lives are inherently tied to currents and voltage – even our muscles function at -70 millivolts at rest – it's a fitting moniker. In essence, it represents the fusion of various electronic elements, from the E-Guitar to synthesizers and beyond. **Where do you find inspiration?** Inspiration flows from every facet of life, from interactions with friends and fellow humans to the melodies that echo through the radio and the vast realm of the internet. Today, I'm elated to have the opportunity to embark on a social media journey, where I can share my true self and where I come from. **What was the role of music in the early years of your life?** Music was a source of comfort during my early years when material wealth was scarce. In my homeland, we dined on the floor using our hands, so our needs were modest – just pots, rice, and some other essentials. That's how I grew up, surrounded by a colorful tapestry of people – Africans, Italians, Indians, Afghans, Russians, and more – all living together happily in an asylum neighborhood. We shared laughter and enjoyed live music in the evenings, with nothing but a sitar, tabla, and makeshift sound-producing spoons. This is where my musical roots lie, in finding joy with so little. In essence, true happiness that cannot be bought; because you cannot buy 'nothing.' We didn't need material riches; all we required was community and love. This spirit reflects in my music and aligns with my professional life, where I support individuals when they are in physical distress. **Are you from a musical or artistic family?** While my family isn't inherently musical, they've always supported my artistic pursuits.

My great cousin, Ahmad Wall, is a hidden gem of an artist, and many others within the family have artistic talents they never had the courage to reveal. Nevertheless, music was always cherished in our household because it bridged laughter and tears, binding us together in harmony. **Who inspired you to be a part of the music industry?** My inspiration to join the music industry was driven by an inherent passion for the art itself and the belief that music possesses a unique power to connect people on a profound level. Although I was initially apprehensive about diving into the industry, I now relish the fact that I can create music independently. The music industry often prioritizes profit over artists, neglecting to compensate the creative minds behind the music. **How did you learn to sing/write/to play?** I am mostly self-taught. While I receive guitar lessons, I've also learned to play the tabla from two talented Ustads who mentored me. My cousin was a strict teacher, and his guidance compelled me to practice daily, honing my skills. **What was the first concert that you ever went to, and who did you see perform?** My earliest concert experiences were marked by Afghan and Indian music. However, it was my father's heartfelt rendition of a sad song that remains etched in my memory. Even today, the sorrow in his voice resonates, reminding me of his feelings for his homeland and the world's collective sadness. Such songs are not just music but a means to cope and vent emotions. **How could you describe your music?** Describing my music is a complex endeavor, as I am still discovering my unique sound. It's experimental and multifaceted, with each new track representing a distinct facet of my creative journey. My upcoming songs, which I hope will be well-received, revolve around life's experiences. It's important to me that my music resonates with people, offering them a sense of connection and emotion. Each song I create must touch me deeply at some point; otherwise, it doesn't make the cut. **Describe your creative process.** My creative process is akin to a voyage of exploration. It commences with a concept or a particular emotion, and from there, both the music and visuals flow organically. The process mirrors the intricacies of the digital age, which is ever-evolving and filled with layers waiting to be peeled back. **What is your main inspiration?** My primary inspirations are my friends, fellow humans, and the reflections within myself. I find inspiration within the challenging conversations I have with myself. https://open.spotify.com/artist/22Nlq8Mo1XECmVJ2uWVEjM **What musician do you admire most and why?** I hold deep admiration for musicians who are a one-person powerhouse – legends like George Michael, Prince, Alanis Morissette, David Bowie, and Michael Jackson. These artists inspire me because they were not only exceptional in their talents but also because they managed their entire creative process single-handedly, demonstrating true genius. **Did your style evolve since the beginning of your career?** Absolutely, my style has evolved over time. It has become more eclectic, embracing a wide array of musical influences. It's a continuous process of growth, and my upcoming track will introduce a fresh sound while staying true to my artistic essence. **Who do you see as your main competitor?** I don't perceive fellow musicians as competitors. The music industry is vast and diverse, offering a stage for each artist to shine brightly – like a radiant diamond. **What are your interests outside of music?** Beyond music, I have a profound passion for games, indulging in movies of all kinds, and, of course, dogs! I'm an avid reader, and I relish meaningful conversations – yes, talking is a hobby. I also find joy in listening, not just to music but to the stories people share. **If it wasn't a music career, what would you be doing?** My musical journey is just beginning, and I can't make a living from it yet.

Therefore, I continue my work as an osteopath, physiotherapist, and trainer, with a focus on trauma patients. My music is sustained by these roles, as it doesn't generate substantial income. For instance, even with 700,000 video views, the earnings remain modest. In reality, we can only survive and thrive by securing consistent support and building a community. This is vital for small artists, as it ensures we can create and remain afloat, offering more than just our music – an evolving narrative that others find captivating. **What is the biggest problem you have encountered in the journey of music?** One of the most significant challenges I've faced is the overwhelming presence of record companies and individuals incessantly peddling playlist placements. This can be quite frustrating, especially when many seek to sell followers and subscribers. It's a detriment to the industry as it can obstruct genuine connections with real people. Consequently, I've always been hesitant to invest large sums in such promotions. While advertising is essential, it must be balanced to ensure that our music can be heard by authentic listeners. Buying followers is a fallacy; organic growth is the only meaningful approach. It's a substantial issue for independent artists. **If you could change one thing in the music industry, what would it be?** If I had the power to make one change in the music industry, it would be to ensure that artists receive a more equitable share of the revenue. They are the ones who change the world and introduce innovative ideas. Without artists, there is no future. Being an artist is akin to being a philosopher – we all have our unique insights to share, and our smaller voices deserve to be heard just as much as the established ones. Let's not underestimate the potential of smaller artists and appreciate the diverse spectrum of talent that exists. **Why did you choose this as the title of this project?** The title of this project, "Digital Highway," mirrors my journey in merging a deep love for music with a profound exploration of the digital age. It's a reflection of the evolving landscape we find ourselves in and the opportunities it presents. **What are your plans for the coming months?** In the months ahead, I'm excited to release new tracks, including "SAVE ME," which holds a special place in my heart. Additionally, I'll be introducing an EDM track and another one that delves into independent electronic territory. There's a lot to look forward to on this musical journey. **Do you have any artistic collaboration plans?** At the moment, I don't have any concrete artistic collaboration plans, but I'm open to the possibility. Who knows, maybe I'll join forces with Tonee Jukebox in the near future. **What message would you like to give to your fans?** To all my fans, I'd like to express my deep gratitude. Your support is the driving force behind my creative journey. Keep embracing the music, keep sharing the emotions, and let's continue this incredible adventure together. Thank you for being an integral part of my musical odyssey!

Hi, I hope you're doing well. I was hoping if you could give me a channeled message from my guides regarding my sm and career?

Honestly, my career is most concerning, I feel like I've been in a fog for years and now I'm awake and everything around me is a big mess and idk how to unravel it all. I know most importantly that I wanted to go back to school to advance my career, but even that thought feels like I've been present a million different paths and I don't even know where to begin.

With regards to SM, it's really a bout of curiosity at this point, I've been walking solo in this life since I could remember - but sometimes a bit a hope and wonder comes through, thinking about who could they be if they're out there - somewhere.

I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to rant - it's partially it's so I can remember what I wrote to check back LOL. I'll be honest, I submitted a few times in the past but I always forget which ask I wrote in. I appreciate the wisdom you've given us, your blog posts are my favorite source at the moment with learning new spiritual topics. Thank you for all you do, and I look forward to what you channel. 🤍

Hi! I’ve been tired af. Finally got my room set up after moving. That feels good to finally have a real space to do this blog stuff and to just be. And awww thanks so much for saying that :) I’m actually so excited because I got prompted to do a long post! Yay! Finally a long post again. Anyway, let’s get into what spirit wants you to know!

Spirit what do you want anon to know about their career?

Is it that you have many options presented or are most just distractions? (Ooof, that hit me too anon). See so often, people see all the potential options without asking what aligns with me. It can seem like you could go any which way, and you technically can, but there are some that probably feel more exciting, maybe scarier because they require more from you. Those, those will lead you to the most growth. It’s not hard to know, you have to follow your feelings. Life is meant to be fun and exciting, try to do things that cultivate those feelings and other things will come through for you.

Now in terms or your soulmate, you are struggling to find them because they are struggling to find you. You are hiding your light and parts of yourself to be more palatable to others and that makes it harder for you to find your tribe and to connect to your authenticity. This isn’t meant to scold you. There is so much that takes up time and attention on earth, but we ask that you spend the time to develop yourself as much as you try to develop a career. Are you watering your garden? Weeding out things that are dead? Planting new plants? As you learn more about what lights you up and excites you, as you pursue those things, you will find more of what is meant for you, options and opportunities with people and passions/career.

Card Pull—Chakra Exploration Oracle

Spirit, what can anon work on to help lift the fog and to help them get closer to meeting their person?

Lol these rude bitches! At first every single chakra had a card come out. 🙃 like yes spirit, we know to work on them all. Anyway I asked again and got these three!

Throat Chakra—in what situations or settings do you withhold or dim your expression from fear of judgement?

Mantra: “I allow myself to be untamed in my impulses for expression and release the fear of judgement, knowing they have nothing to do with me.”

So this aligns with what spirit was saying about hiding your light to be more palatable but also to follow what excites you, what literally lights you up. Part of dimming your light is following the things that barely light you up or don’t light you up at all because you’re trying to make a safe choice.

Root Chakra— where are you feeling stuck or a lack of energy? What do you need to cultivate vitality?

Mantra: “I step out of my own way and move through both energetic and perceived blockages with ease”

This goes back to the fog to me. You can’t see through the fog because the lack of light is creating a thick mist you can’t see through. Right now, they are trying to move the mist so you can see clearly but in order to do that, you have to start clearing it by following your intuition out. The mind creates mist but the heart can find the light of the soul if you follow what makes it beat.

Root Chakra— what insecurities are currently infecting you? How can you reframe them to cultivate more confidence?

Mantra: “I am innately whole, resourceful, and capable of anything I set my mind to.”

Do you think this SM or person will complete you? I’m getting with this card that you need to focus on completing yourself, things you picture doing with a partner, why can’t you do them now? You are a whole being but you perceive emptiness, why? Because you have more room in your cup! Fill it up with other things, you can add a little OJ or some vodka if you want, doesn’t have to all be water.

I hope this helps you :) You already know where you’re going you just forgot because the fog obscures a lot. It’s okay, just keep pushing through and you’ll find the light! Would love to know if this connects!

He was grateful for the help all told---and in truth it reminded him of the kiddo in the earlier days---and yet there's that all too ever-present sharpness to him, a keenness to his eye granted by both EFFORT AND EXPERIENCE.

"Are you tryin' to RUIN MY FIELD, SHANTOW?" Stern though he is Flynn's words---the use of 'shantow', specifically---carries no bite whatsoever as he nudges the mortal out of the way with one prod of his elbow. "Watch what I do, ishul?" He drives his thumb into the hole that the redblood had been making and twists it sharply; once to the right then to the left, and then withdraws the digit. "For this row you want one seed, anymore than that an' their roots will tangle and the fruit will be ruined." They'd fight for space---literally as well as figuratively.

He snags a red cloth bag off of a nearby peg and shows it to her---he practically shoves it under her small nose, actually---before dropping just one of the strangely shaped seeds into the hole, with the outer shell of it already broken and spilling forth a STRANGE, COTTONY FLUFF. "Veglamb are fickle beasts, they don't like sharin' spaces."

The immortal stands up then and walks what are obviously well trod, measured paces and then unceremoniously slaps his long tail into the dirt before gesturing at his 'assistant'. "Put a new hole on the opposite side of my tail and then grab the green bag. Drive your thumb in hard as you can, two twists, and then put the seed in." This row would be of a lively variety.

◌・❀➵ To Sun, planting and nurturing crops was a way of feeling connected to her mother and her mother's traditions. It was the half of her she did't despise with her entire being. So, any opportunity to feel that connection was well welcomed. Yet this opportunity presented challenges she had never faced. Namely in the kind of crops she was dealing with.

◌・❀➵ Perhaps it was the inferiority complex, or the general strive to be perfect at everything, but she felt ashamed of knowing something that wasn't even common knowledge. And instead of yipping back, the golden-haired angel watches, making a mental note of every detail. She won't mess up again.

◌・❀➵ There is a nod at his order, as she makes her way over. It seemed easy enough but at the same time he wasn't going to get her full strength, that would be too disastrous. Just a fraction of her strength would be enough to get the results he was looking for.

◌・❀➵ Of course there is the truimphant smile as she completes the task he had given her, "What else have ya got fer me? I'm mighty strong so I can do any manual labor ya can throw at me." Take advantage of the free labor, essentially.

Daisy Jones & the Six

★★★★★★★★☆☆

Oh man, that's a wrap on Daisy Jones. This is begging for reflection.

I watch almost everything sped up, but not this. I consider it like reading quickly for the information. I'm rarely feeling myself connected or drawn in by the characters. I'm not on some noble quest to only find and vibe with "the best" or most "deep" and "novel," which I think makes my satisfaction with a series like this all the more enjoyable. This is a very simple story, simply followed and told, and the complexity of the issues it speaks to are handled simply. Simply, but not cheaply. If you watch as much TV as I do, you'll see hundreds of alcoholics, needlessly-complicated love stories, and a kind of matter-of-factism that carries everything forward often against the will of any sense or decency. The rise-to-fame rock-n-roll atmosphere here is, incidentally, a perfect home to couch every room you might walk through.

Simple characters means you don't have to get gritty and gross about substance abuse, near-death experiences, childhood trauma, nor swing for the actual Billboard charts in your song-writing. I liked the music, don't get me wrong, and I'm perfectly happy to accept this being a band created as an homage to Fleetwood Mac, if that's what it was. If you can stop yourself from wishing for something more complicated, you get to ride along like Camilla. You get snapshots, brief insights about things to ponder for maybe the length of a song.

I called this "great" partly because it's comfortably self-contained, and partly because, in my heart of hearts, I'm a romantic. I love when I'm made to dream and believe. I want to be a rockstar, at least, my naive ideal of one, and while this screams the same kind of vibe of an Almost Famous, what comes to mind is Halt and Catch Fire. There's countless stories of people bouncing off one another with the drama-of-the-week or their deep dark secret. There's not so many where you can watch them grow. There's not so many that make you root for redemption because you've watched them work and struggle and come up with every creative "fix" that isn't.

I appreciate that the characters who weren't really highlighted served to ground the flaming-out stardom of the leads. The drummer's having a good time and speaking plainly as to how and why. The father-figure doesn't get the opportunity to get overbearing or awkwardly wedged in, showing up mostly in times of desperation or reflection. The best-friend isn't given a pointless side-quest that feels like a useless excuse to treat being gay in a ham-fisted way, but compliments and contrasts with what it means to gain perspective and own one's identity. [spoiler]Her looking at Daisy on her wedding day was absolutely packed with emotion and allowed to resolve perfectly.[/spoiler]

Every fight scene asks the same kind of questions. What do you really want? To create for its own sake? To be famous? To be loved? To be seen? To be able to see what's been staring at you the whole time? What could be incredibly mellow-dramatic stares into the "we get it" abyss from Billy manage to carry the weight of those questions. You can feel his inability to answer them. Not just with him, but each time one of them gets what they want, it's not quite right. It's wrought with catastrophic potential, but eventually genuine choices start to get made, and life is no longer just happening to them and they start dictating their direction. The band was just what everyone saw, a simple representation, not precisely a lie, at least not in a malicious way, and no one denies the music, but not what they needed.

I see people locked in this infinite battle of what they really want or need all the time. None are dreaming so big, and often enough decisions in the right direction dare them to implode. What do you need to appreciate when the fans, money, family, or general beauty all around you isn't doing it? What's the shape of your desire? Do you have to crash in order to find clarity in the flames? To feel like you've taken control? If you're plugged into a simple rockstar fairytale, you're in for a ride.

This series gets sad, but it doesn't despair. It doesn't really try for laughs as it's not hinting at some underlying joy. It doesn't have the patina of a superficial soap opera. It's not begrudging, hating itself, tongue-in-cheek or painfully self-aware. It's a neatly packaged fantasy, palming tropes, but not carelessly slinging them around and hitting you in the face. I'm thankful it's given me an opportunity to slow down, enjoy the music, and reflect. It's exactly what I want from a show.

Discuss on Trakt

It's been awhile since I visited this blog. I'm not good at consistency, clearly. I think I want to be better a consistency, but I'm not sure it's a priority right now. Especially a blog. I think I've made a lot of progress and embraced a lot of growth over the last couple years. I know I still have a lot more progress and growth ahead of me. I also can simultaneously say that I am finally okay with who I am in this moment. If I never grow or progress from where I'm at today that would be okay. Not ideal, but okay.

At the end of this month I will have been working at the same hospital for a year. I had a bout of short-lived jobs between the last big job and this one. I'm also a year away from graduating with my BSW. Although it is going to be costly, I want to walk for my graduation which means I have to make my way to California to do so. I have the option to walk for both my BSW and my MSW. I'm still on the fence about walking for both. It will really come down to cost.

My wife and I are at a really good place regarding our communication and relationship overall. We have done a lot of work on ourselves and our relationship over the past year and a half or so. We've opened things up and are now actively involved in the poly community. Her idea of poly is different than mine, but we're learning that and accepting and still need to work on agreements and boundaries. I'm realizing that she and I really should talk about these agreements and boundaries before either of us engage in the next connection. I tend to get feelings and she prefers to keep things casual friends with benefits type connection. I think it's important that we both are able to experience poly in the way that makes sense for us while also being sensitive to our partners needs and comfortability and triggers etc.

About a month ago I ended things with a man I had fallen in love with rather quickly. He and I had known each other for a couple weeks and realize that we wanted to be more than just friends. We both, or so I was told, shared with our partners how we felt. His wife was adamant that she was fine with everything the whole time, while showing us that she was not and also anytime we would ask she would give us every indication that she was happy and good with things. Then at the end it was all my fault as I had said an ultimatum that made her feel she couldn't express her true emotions. There never was an ultimatum. I really believe she twisted something that was meant to be good in regard to not wanting to be a part of the problem for their relationship. Really when I look at the whole thing I see that I should have bowed out the moment it was obvious that they had a lot of work to do on their marriage before they stepped into Polly. They both assured me they could work on their marriage and continue their relationships. She was seeing and or having sex with at least eight or nine other people while he was seeing me and courting one or two other ladies. Even those relationships were very tentative and that makes me feel like maybe he played a role in her not having the full picture. I still love him and someone asked me the other day if he were to show up at my work or at my doorstep and ask for me to take him back would I. I think it would be one of the hardest things for me to turn him away, but I would have to because I recognize that the behaviors he exhibited we're not indicative of a healthy person trying to engage in healthy relationships. He admitted that he was not honest with himself, with me or with his wife fully. There were plenty of times where I questioned whether he was being honest and I wish I would have trusted my intuition. I learned so much and gained so much growth from that relationship. I don't know that I would do too much differently if I were to be given the opportunity to go back. I was able to at least partially heal some very deep-rooted sexual trauma regarding penis having people. The sex between he and I was incredible which is not something I can say about any previous penis having partner. Ever. I think that has put me in a strange place regarding sex with any penis having partners in the future. My hope is that the disconnect I had for so long with penis having people has been alleviated, but my worry is that it really only can exist that way with him. That being said, I don't plan to enter into any relationships with penis having people that progress to sex anytime soon. I say penis having people because I don't know if male to female trans pre-op people would be an issue for me or not. My mind tells me they likely would not be because female energy is different than male energy and it's generally more about the energy than the body. This is a huge part of why I identify as pansexual as opposed to bisexual.

Anyway, life is relatively good. I'm grateful for all that I have and looking forward to building a brighter and better future with my wife and any new partners. I'm excited to see her blossom in her own healthy poly relationships as well. I know that there will be challenges, but I believe she and I will communicate and work through them as we've learned from our past mistakes and hopefully will be able to do so more quickly and fully.

This is only the beginning…

The philosophical roots of occupational therapy practice. (2017, April 8). Nurse Key. https://nursekey.com/philosophical-principles-and-values-in-occupational-therapy/

Community Occupational therapy, what to say? It’s been a journey and a half, and still is. The challenges, academic and emotional, you experience are like no other. I don’t think one can ever fully receive closure once working with the dynamic type of individuals that we do in community. This community is one that will leave a mark on you for years to come. Remembering all that I learnt is the closure I can take with me into the next 3 blocks.

If as the picture illustrates, examples such as working with schooling systems or developing home programs and working with physical disabilities are the branches of occupational therapy, then surely our roots lie in working with humanity, and by extension our roots lie in working with community.

The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members. (2016). Quotereel.com. https://quotereel.com/community-quotes/

The quote in the picture above is something that is seen especially by occupational therapists that work closely with people of the community and within different aspects of the community such as the creches and the school. One can very clearly see that feeling connected and being responsible plays a big part in community as a student. It shows that with all the injustices that one can clearly see in the community it is not just that micro community that is responsible but rather humanity, and that everyone plays a crucial role even students such as ourself.

The role we play lies in providing the people of Kenville the best quality of service and and being advocates of our profession in all settings.

A closing statement from observation of the community is that in a community such as Kenville, service delivery is poor therefore the opportunities afforded to other higher income communities as compared to Kenville will differ. The social and environmental injustice done towards the community makes one extremely irate as any other community would have adequate service delivery. Waste disposal services are extremely poor and spills that overflow become dumpsites, and these dumb sides turn into air pollution and soil pollution on the side of the roads, or pavements.

The fact is that our society and our government exacerbate injustices in less fortunate communities, as these communities rarely have the resources to complain. An example of this is the constant lack of water in the community, which also affects the clinic as women, men and children have to wait in and endless que without any water and therefore reduced access to water at home as well. The reality is that we live in a country where communities like Kenville are dime and a dozen therefore resources provided are scarce and there are too many communities and people that need these resources, versus the little resources that are available.

Be the reason. (2022). Pinterest.com. https://za.pinterest.com/pin/1196337398077914/

Professional lessons to carry over are that, every client that you see needs to be taken seriously. And I'm sure you're thinking that I already do this, right? Although for the most part we don't because if given a case where a client comes to you in a community setting and complains of an eye ache or an eye pain, this client being a physically able young male, we would refer to an optometrist and a nurse. But if as an OT, you were taking this client seriously, you would poke, prod and interview the client to get a further case study, and after having taken this time seriously you find out that the client has a possible Cytomegalovirus retinitis (CMV retinitis), that could possibly take out his eyesight and crafting with therapy intervention program for him.

This is taking a client seriously, the art of finding out the why behind everything a client says is taking a client seriously. So when I say be the reason someone feels welcomed, seen and heard, valued, loved and supported, I mean, be the reason this person feels this way. Chances are, occupational therapy is the only avenue that they would get this acceptance and being taken seriously from.

You wouldn’t plant a seed and then dig it up. (n.d.). TheMindsJournel.com. https://themindsjournal.com/quotes/you-wouldnt-plant-a-seed-and-then-dig-it-up/

Personal lessons learned center around stopping the cycle of self doubt that prevents me being the highest level of myself. Just as the quote says one would not plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it has grown, doubting myself and decisions and questioning them is not going to change the end result, but working consistently especially on this community block, is what yields results. If I had to hand over one personal lesson it would be this to stop doubting yourself.

This may be an unpopular opinion, but community service is the way to learn and practice Occupational therapy without the academic pressure. It is the year to navigate practice on your own and learn what it truly means to be an OT rather than an OT student and define this in your own way. Community service is the year that is most similar to the community block in 4th year, as this is the year that theoretical learning over the 4 years get blended into practice. This is the year that going out into the community is actually implemented and true strength and hard work is needed at a sustained rate.  

The way forward into community service is looking back at lessons learnt along the way, and implementing what you learnt into everyday occupational therapy.

REFERENCES

Be the reason. (2022). Pinterest.com. https://za.pinterest.com/pin/1196337398077914/

The greatness of a community is most accurately measured by the compassionate actions of its members. (2016). Quotereel.com. https://quotereel.com/community-quotes/

The philosophical roots of occupational therapy practice. (2017, April 8). Nurse Key. https://nursekey.com/philosophical-principles-and-values-in-occupational-therapy/

You wouldn’t plant a seed and then dig it up. (n.d.). TheMindsJournel.com. https://themindsjournal.com/quotes/you-wouldnt-plant-a-seed-and-then-dig-it-up/

IT’S TIME FOR YOUR NEXT HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD!

as outgoing head of household, Lindy is BANNED from competing. Today, you will be playing... .

.

.

CONFESSIONAL QUOTES!

you will be given a list of quotes from each previously evicted houseguest (from brandon - matt) and must guess what each houseguest has said!  there is only ONE quote for each houseguest , no double dippings, each person only has one quote! there are no game related quotes (if anything, VAGUELY related, but nothing specific, and no name drops!) YOU MAY NOT COLLABORATE WITH ANYONE ON THIS, HOWEVER YOU MAY ADJUST YOUR ANSWERS AS MUCH AS YOU’D LIKE , AS LONG AS YOU LET US KNOW WHEN YOU LOCK YOUR ANSWERS!

WHOEVER GETS THE MOST QUOTES CORRECTLY LABELED WILL WIN HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD! IN THE EVENT OF A TIE - the first person to submit will win! due to this being posted so late, your submissions are due at 10:30 PM EST on March 5th!

.

HERE ARE YOUR QUOTES!

1. hmmm. how do u delicately ask the hoh what they are doing? i am very pretty, i don't wanna worry

.

2. the gemini in me is very conflicted! the angel side is rooting for him to win, the devil side wants to blow up his game .

3. Im usually more of a strategist but maybe that’s why I’ve never won before

.

4. ugh i hate playing the early social game i always feel not #iconic enough and feel like the ugly duckling when people vote me out cause “we never connected” and im not sure theres enough drama to stir to change things up

.

5. my pageant answer is: im waiting to utilize them at the opportune moment when things might shift and change around in the desert my real answer is: im lazy

.

6. i hate this challenge because every time i ask whose dying hairlineis this, it's mine

.

7. I'm a hacker, And y'all had every right too look at eve like that, Craziest idea I've ever seen

.

8. Trying to be cute and mysterious isn't a good look when you said you wanted to work with me earlier!

.

9. the brits need to submit their bids so we can move on w hoh

.

10. who does this bitch think she is, being all nice in dms, and SLICE. STAB. SHOT. IM BAFFLED

.

11. 2005, 2023, no matter what year I am nickelbacks biggest fan

.

12. oh here we go AGAIN, alexa play this hell by rina. how many times does my name come up in this one now

.

13. hey fart do you know what joke is? omg, not fart. dery. same thing?