Its been a while since a csm chapter has made me want to screenshot and post the whole damn thing but 152 really got to me

I have no one to talk to about Tokyo Rev so here r my random hot takes that I need to say:

- Emma and Hina r boring and used as romance plot devices it’s okay to admit that Wakui can’t write women idk I don’t expect shounen/men to be able to write girls well (still cried when Emma died tho bc she didn’t deserve it!!!)

- lol I LOVE Yuzuha and Senju tho

- I actually do like Emma and Draken together but I also firmly believe Draken is in love w/Mikey and was just projecting onto Emma LMAO

- Yuzuha is a lesbian

- Controversial: I don’t think Shinchiro was THAT great of an older brother. Like he was cool but he still introduced Mikey and Izana into the world of gang life/normalizing violence and yeah OG Black Dragons isn’t like that but….what do u expect when u form a gang??? .obviously there’s a high chance that it’s gonna develop into LEGIT gang activity

- As an adult and someone who was basically raised by an older sibling w/a big age gap (my sis is 7 years older) I kinda don’t blame Takeomi for being a bad older brother??? Realistically he’s a 17 yr old in charge of raising 2 toddlers like NO SHIT he did a bad job. At least Shin had his grandfather to help out but Takeomi actually had no one. Doesn’t explain y he’s a brokey LOL buttttt again I don’t FULLY blame him for being a bad sibling still hurt my boi Sanzu 😤😤

- I HC that Mikey is used to having a caretaker (Draken and later Sanzu) bc when Shin died he was so depressed and genuinely couldn’t get out of bed

- Takemitchy is also lowkey boring/typical shounen protagonist and canonically stinky like Hina could do sm better. This is personal preference so I find myself wanting more chaotic/dumb protagonists who are slightly morally ambiguous like Denji, Gintoki, hell even Naruto at times. Takemitchy didn’t get character development until BD arc and that’s just a bit too long for me….

- Koko and Inui r gay and dating 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻

- the Haitani brothers r the kardashians of the TR universe they’re so embarrassing Deadass show up and pose/do absolutely nothing I LOVE THEM SHKSKSKSK

- I love how it’s universally agreed that Mitsuya and Chifuyu r the best bois

- I have mixed feelings about Izana. I genuinely do like him and DESPISE how he’s whitewashed by fanart

- I get it u genuinely just wanted to not be alone and found out ur adopted in the worst way possible but…..idk how that justifies killing ur own sister but u do u ig 🤷‍♀️ and u have KAKUCHO AS UR FAMILY WTH

- don’t listen to me tho I’m a Mikey and Sanzu stan LMAOO 🤭🤭🤭

- Izana is the definition of mommy issues and 100% had crunchy hair lik mans was homeless

- if I saw Izana IRL I would RUN 🏃‍♀️idk he looks a lil crazy

- also this man does not know Tagalog he didn’t even know he was Filipino until he was lik 12

- idk the Tenjiku arc is so funny to me bc Izana is deadass: imma kill everyone in Mikey’s life for revenge and Mikey is lik: bruh I didn’t even kno u existed until last week and now ur killing our sister UNPROVOKED ???

- Bonten!Mikey is a virgin/no libido mans is DEPRESSED

- wished the Bonten arc was longer simply for the outfits bc Wakui KNOWS FASHION but that shit was DEPRESSION

- 3 Deities Arc was amazing and also funny/serious at the same time. It literally was an all out brawl in an AMUSEMENT PARK

- fr tho wtf was Benkei, Wakasa and Takeomi doing there??? Like they’re canonically 27 GO GET A JOB STOP FIGHTING 15 YEAR OLDS SHKSKSKS

- U cannot tell me that Sanzu WASNT sad when Baji and Mucho died.

- Baji was straight up his childhood friend and the only one other than Senju who knows about the plane incident/Mikey’s possessive side. And In the OG!timeline I’m pretty sure Baji was the only friend Sanzu DIDNT attack. While with Mucho he was pretty much his older brother, Sanzu just decided Mikey was better

- Tbh if the dark impulses/Shin thing wasn’t real I would’ve firmly believed Mikey had DID or something. Which again made only worse by the fact that violence and death is such a regular thing in his life (GET THIS MAN THERAPY LIK WTF IS SHIN AND GRANDPA SANO DOING???)

- Kazutora going a lil crazy is lowkey expected and I hate how we only find out about his home life in the character books. This kid grew up in a physically and mentally abusive household (gaslight to pick between parents and as s/o who has experienced that shit it’s fucked up) and I rlly don’t think prison helped out his mental stability either no shit he tried to kill Mikey

- I don’t ship Mikey and Takemichy (despite the IMMENSE gay ness btwn them) firmly bc I think everyone can see how much power Takemitchy has over Mikey idk it has a weird power dynamic like if Takemitchy tried he could 100% control Mikey (platonically or romantically)

- Baji, Chifuyu and Kazutora r a throuple

- I HATE how Sanzu is reduced to this crazy drug addict. Sanzu is canonically smart, manipulative, and formally trained fighter. He also REMEMBERS the OG timeline, he had to experience Shin dying twice and everyone else die no shit he’s a little bonkers/needs drugs to take everything away. Plus his relationship to Mikey which tbh is a whole separate post

- controversial !!!: I ship Mikey and Sanzu or Mikey and Draken. Sanzu only bc this man has a big ass crush and deserves some niceness for once

- ppl write Kakucho as this shy, nice guy like ur not wrong but mans is also running UNPROVOKED into Yakuza offices like it’s the gym while dragging Rindou wit him 😭😭😭

- the haitanis r the best sibling duo

- It lowkey makes me mad in fanfics where Ran is depicted as cheating w/Rin’s gf like??? This man raised his younger brother himself u cannot tell me he doesn’t love his brother and would actually do that to him

- Ran would 1000% do anything for Rin and i firmly believe he kinda regrets not saying anything in court to prevent Rindou frm joining him in jail. Like saying he forced Rindou to kill someone w/him, abusing his brother at home, etc especially in the Bonten! tl he def thinks about wtf he dragged his brother into

- I also don’t think they’ve slept w/ the same person before. Idk I feel like they have diff types like Ran goes for more motherly/mature types while Rindou goes for sweeter/shy types

- Draken has road rage

- Yuzuha should’ve been taller like AT LEAST 5’7 bitch is related to Hakkai and Taiju for gods sake

- OG BD 100% thought Wakasa was a girl for at least a month. He’s canonically 5’3 and pretty.

- Characters who r 100% bisexual: WAKASA, Senju,maybe Hina, Draken (def in denial), Rindou, Ran (he’s a whore as long as ur pretty he’s down), Sanzu, Koko, Kazutora, Chifuyu

- Mitsuya had a crush on Draken

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

Chainsaw Man Chapter 149 'Early' Analysis

This entire chapter is pretty sad when you ignore the fact fumiko got her ass handed to her and ran away like a coward lmao ! GET HER ASS NAYUTA KILLLLLLLLLLLL KILLLLLLLL!

This whole chapter is about Denji more than it is Nayuta. Denji continues to be put in a situation were even if it means protecting the people he cares about it he can't turn into chainsaw man because that would lead to them being hurt.

You can watch the cogs turning in his head throughout the chapter.

This whole middle section excluding fumiko's involvement (she did one useful thing this chapter thats a new record now never show up again you BASTARD) Ahem Pretty much everything in this middle section of the chapter is about Denji's own insecurities and fears despite the fact they're never actually stated. You can see it in his face throughout this. He feels like he failed Nayuta. Yeah he's been treating her well but he hasn't actually done anything to discipline her and make sure she turns out as a well adjusted adult. He's just been letting school and tv do everything for him and all he's been doing is giving into her demands.

You can see it best in these few pages. There are a lot of close ups on Denji and Nayuta. It's clear Denji isn't really thinking about any of these things they're just distractions. Everytime he says one of the things he's worried about theres a pause. He's probably worried he's failed Nayuta to the point she'll become a second Makima. She's already been showing traits of it but they've never really been anything major until the point she whips out "Denji we should join the devils side we can do whatever we want then". Which being real- Nayuta is like 8 years old of course she hasn't considered any of the ramifications of doing that. In all likely hood she just wants to do it because that means she can do whatever she wants without rules. She hasn't considered the fact in a world ruled by devils there wouldn't be any 'modern' (1999?) commodities.

This page is interesting because it's like Denji snapped back into reality. When Asa is brought up his mind shifts to being worried about her instead of what he was thinking about before. Then the lingering resentment on his face in the bottom panel. She came in and 'stole' everything he had. But this is still Denji and Asa is a girl. So it works out.

NOW GO KICK FUMIKO'S ASS! SAVE THE WORLD

its actually good that the anime has been making me rethink himeno bc theres been more discourse around her (including some genuine poor taste ones about her and makima doing a "groom-off") and i genuinely didnt feel strogky enugh about her to really care. but with the recent ep + a quick reread of her chapters she reads as neither an angel nor as a toxic predator but rather as v similar to misato nge to me. as in like, shes someone who is very clearly deeply traumatized, who has a poor sense of boundaries in general in part bc of that trauma, and who was handed this teenage boy as a partner to eventually lose but instead he lived. it's very clear to me that while shes not what id call actively predatory, she does have some massive issuss in how she treats aki and then denji–i dont think shes been grooming aki, as grooming is a process and one that requires actual thought and planning, while himeno is like...... her romantic interest in aki is creepy but he is in his early ywenties by the time shes seriously considering courting him. and with denji its not a process either, rather a series of pisspoor decisions coupled with spcietal expectations that it isnt bad for an older woman to act inappropriately with a teenage boy.

tbc this isnt defending her or saying shes just a poor soul nlah blah quite the contrary, theres a reason i compare her to misato. your mileage can vary on what to call her or what words to use to describe her actions, but they are at the very very least deeply inappropriate and creepy. and like, its important to think of why shes like this and what her actions mean in the larger context of chainsaw man's exploration of abuse and power dynamics. she is, again, deeply traumatized and alone, and when aki shows all signs that hes going to live she puts a SHITTON on him and develops a really unhealthy relationship to him; even as a teen he seems more aware of appropriate boundaries than she is and has to learn to navigate their relationship in a far stricter manner than she does.

but its worth asking why they became partners in the first place–to question the environment of public safety. its not jsut that rookies die so easily, its that anybody can join as long as they have the will to 1) give up on their lives entirely to go adter the gun devil 2) make contracts that will cost them immensely. aki is a teen when he joins, hes lost his entire family and he's what public safety seeks–new blood, someone who'll disregard their safety for work, someone with no attachments. the buddy system is presented as being for safety reasons, but ngl i think its also to purposefully foster codependency and an active desire for vengeance when one buddy inevitably dies. public safety has tight regulations and a union and paid holidays and they are very okay with roping in vulnerable teenagers to their deaths or worse! how old was himeno when she joined? did she do it for the money for her fathers medicine? did anybody notice this backstory is revealed at the same time we learn kobeni was forced by her family to join public safety? at the same time its made clear that power and denji have absolutely no agency in this situation?

i think...... himeno is, at best, deeply irresponsible and lax on boundaries and has a real peoblem with using teenage boys as emotional crutches. at worse she assumes none of her behaviour could ever be genuinely bad because shes an older woman and theyre all colleagues, haha hoohoo, and yeah that makes her a predatory creep. shes also incredibly tragic, and its ok to admit both these things coexist in her. she's another pawn that works at public safety, a resource to be consumed, the deaths around her and her trauma the fuel to her workplace motivation. and like, it says a lot that everyone is perfectly ok with her behaviour towards denji–theres obviously the societal perceptiom of that kind of dynamic (even as himeno herself is like oh shit thats illegal aint it), but also like.... relationships there are deeply skewed on purpose because death and suffering and fucked up hookups and the exploitation of vulnerable people–including teenagers–is so normalized. like what, you gonna call your adult colleague *predatory* for flirting with the their own teenage colleague who'll probably die a gruesome death any day bc thats just part of the job? you gonna talk about how its weird for your workplace acquaintance to be so intimate with their underage buddy when you're currently working with a 15 year old who is consumed by vengeance for their family and will either die within the year or stay as a fucked up husk of a person selling their every body part to save your life?

Ok so idk if this post has been made before or this has been talked about but i just want my brain thoughts here

I see people complain about Denji desperately wanting Makima, HIS GROOMER and like-- yeah I can see why that would be problematic for people bc that is most definitely not the case irl

But I think it's important to remember that Denji is still a 16 year old boy who has never experienced anything like Makima before and so to him it must feel like a win. At that age it's only natural for teenagers to feel that way and ESPECIALLY when boys are so pressured to get bitches or whatever. For some reason I've seen it encouraged and celebrated among boys that age to pull a girl older than they are and sometimes she'll even be an adult. There's probably a lot of reasons for this that I won't get into in this post but YEAH honestly it's sad, but I feel like a lot of 16 year olds in this day and age and ESPECIALLY straight boys would see this as something good. It's as if finally, someone views them as mature enough and recognizes their sexuality when in reality adults take advantage of those teenage insecurities and hormones.

Also we need to get rid of the image of the "perfect victim" bc that's not the case irl either. It's an ugly truth but not every person with sexual trauma reacts to it in the same "tragic" way you see in fiction and hell some people don't view it as a bad thing happening to them at the time. I get it, some people want to blame Denji bc he is the one trying to get with Makima but trust me when I say most 16 year old boys I've known would react the same way just bc she's pretty and older than they are so it would seem even better to them. It doesn't make them any less of a victim.

To me Denji is such a realistic portrayal of a lonely 16 year old boy who has finally stumbled across someone who seemingly does want him. Sure, I like versions where he reacts in the more "socially acceptable" way but tbh the way the show did it makes so much more sense, even if that's not what they had in mind.

Basically I'll always say that Denji is a victim and defend him for his feelings bc what else is he going to do in that situation. I'm not sure if it's an angle many people see (bc I'm not in this fandom much) but it just aches to see him believe that he's doing alright with Makima. AGAIN idk if it's intentional but it's so raw and real and it makes me feel worse for Denji and that's why I love him so much

I haven't read the manga so idk what'll happen to him or if I'm just pulling shit outta my ass but yeah at least those are my thoughts on anime Denji

WAIT YEAH I FOUND YOUR POSTS TALKING ABOUT DENJI AND YOU ARE SO RIGHT

man in the first episode or two I was thinkign "you know if someone came and offered me the chance to disappear, have garunteed food, shelter, and friends positive(????) human(?) interaction I'd totally take the offer too"

like I know his character is supposed to, at least in some ways, represent the lows someone can reach when deprived of so much of what other's take for granted and how that can be used for manipulation, but uhhhh did they have to make him relatable? Like?

That mindset fr fr is hard to break, it's so tempting to want to just.. stop thinking and be able to exist somewhere safe even if it came at the cost of being recognized as human

anyways thanks for giving me a new show to be feral over >:D

FOR REALLLLL CAUSE LIJKE LISTENNN I know I'm preaching to the choir here but-

i hate when people simplify Denji or say hes JUST a horny teenager cause its like!!! YOU FOOL YOU'VE FALLEN FOR THE FRONT HE PUTS UP!! Like how do I say that that it is both TRUE that he's a horny pervert teenaged boy but its ALSO TRUE that that doesn't make him a bad character or even a bad person and he's got!! so much going ongsagdsnfjs!!

I guess I just superrr relate to him sometimes cause its like, well the house i grew up in wasn't great. to paraphrase my sister "everything was a fire hazard and nothing got better. Old issues stayed and new ones just popped up" <- see the hole above my bed

so like he's just really relatable. when i moved away to a boarding high school for a year, it was amazing cause it was like I finally had my own space! but it was also embarrassing and hard cause i had really bad hygiene and I didn't know how to manage my own time and I forgot to eat at lot which resulted in me hoarding a bunch of food and it was just kind of a messy time. But I still loved it! and i love college and never having to go back to that house again!!

WHICH IS JUST A LONG GUSHING WAY OF SAYING i get it and I think Denji is a really realistic portrayal of someone who's had the kind of life he has. He has his goals -even if other people look down on them or think they're dumb or simple- and he's grateful for the things that bring him joy and hes a HORNY teenager and that's soooo cool fsdfsdf

anyway ur welcome but you prolly would've found it anyway, chainsaw man is like really popular now i think

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

Cigarettes After Sex

Pairing: Aki Hayakawa x fem reader

Synopsis: Aki finally got what he wanted with his new coworker after lusting over her for a year.

Word Count: 2k

Warnings: 18+ cheating, Aki is like obsessed with panties,

0p1umz Notez: the amount of times i didn't put the r in your is absolutely crazy its short bc yeah I suck at smut 🙅🏽‍♀️ reblogs are appreciated

A world without devils. without having to be a devil hunter, no contracts nothing just a normal world. Aki was twenty when he first noticed you. the new girl in the office. you made quite the impression on the first day on the job. it didn't help that you wore a pencil skirt and a button-down. it was the dress code, meant to look professional. Aki got used to seeing his boss, Makima, in slacks and a button-down, and his coworker Himeno usually wore the same. most of the girls in the building did. there weren't many but the few that were there preferred it. it was often cold in the office and slacks looked professional but also helped to keep everyone's legs warm.

he thought it was just going to be a mistake you made on the first day but a year later, you'd still clock in with the pencil skirts that made him lose focus. the way the fabric clung to your body. over the first year at the job, you quickly caught up to his level of work. you two would often work on projects that seemed to take longer than they should've. by this time, you'd all go to the bar after long days, drink do whatever.

Aki wasn't a perv. he really wasn't, but he'd often catch accidental glimpses of the panties you'd wear. he'd blame it on how the skirts clung to your body. he loved it, but it would bother him. he felt like you'd do it on purpose, just to get him all hot and bothered. at the end of the day, when he was finally in the comfort of his own home, he'd do what felt best for him. he tried not to be loud. but trying could only get him so far, Denji and Power would often say something when they heard him moaning your name. they didn't really know you yet. most days that they'd go into the office you usually had your days off. and after a while, you stopped going to the bar with your coworkers. He started to only see you in the office. he was starting to miss you. he wouldn't admit it to anyone but after the first year of projects and drinks and everything, he started to develop feelings. for him now, it wasn't only that he found you sexually attractive, he was genuinely feeling things for you. so when Himeno told him that you had a boyfriend, he was sad.

"Oh, yeah. she got into a relationship about four months ago. she said that they'd known each other since high school but he became controlling like three months after they were officially together. she said that's why she stopped taking projects with you." Himeno told him as she took a hit of the blunt in between her fingers. "she said that he told her that he didn't trust you, and you made him uncomfortable. but then again, she did say that he was insecure. she stopped talking to all the guys in the office. and that's also why she stopped going to the bar with us."

he knew that your boyfriend had a right to feel like that about Aki. but it wasn't his fault. he blamed the shortness of the skirts, and how they'd cling to your body. he wouldn't intentionally look and you but, you were clumsy. constantly dropping things, pens, papers, hair clips, hair ties, and water bottles. when you'd bend down to pick them up he would often see the cotton panties you'd wear. once, he remembered one of your first days in the office. you were both in the printer room, waiting for a co-worker to finish with the papers they needed. it was a stack. that stack used the last of the paper that was in the printer, not only that, the printer ran out of ink. of course, you knew how to fix the printer but, it was so old. even someone like Aki or Kishibe found it hard to open the parts for ink and paper. as you tried to open the printer to put paper, in the small, tight space of a printer room, you accidentally rubbed against Aki. he noticed the pink cotton panties you wore under your black skirt, it made him blush. too focused on the printer to even notice you did it about twice before you got the printer open. it was terrible. the last pull made you fall back. if Aki weren't there, you would've hit your head on the wall. but instead, you fell on Aki. he reacted quick, placing his arms around your waist. you were about the same height when you wore your heels like you did that day, so your ass was on his now hard dick. you felt it. both too flustered to say anything he walked to the other side of the printer and opened the ink cartridge, filling it with more ink.

in the moment, it was the worst day of his life. because now, you knew, your coworker often got hard because of you. but you weren't entirely innocent in this. having a hunch that he liked you in a way. you did intentionally do things to get him slightly aroused. to you it was nothing but harmless teasing. but since the day of the incident with the printer, you knew it wasn't harmless to him.

"A-aki," you said breaking the kiss. "We can't your roommates will be back in a bit." you tried to protest. "they won't. and even if they do, they'll be too drunk to think." he said as he pressed his lips against yours. "Aki. I have a boyfriend." you said as you broke the kiss again "I love him." you lied. it wasn't that you were in a relationship with him for anything else anymore. you didn't even mean it. you just said it because you were scared. "do you?" he asked you as he got off of you. he respected you, he didn't want to ruin everything for you. "we don't have to do this you know." he said as he took your hand. and then, he kissed you again, but this time you didn't pull away, he pulled you closer and his hand went down to your hips he was struggling with the zipper on your side.

you laughed breaking the kiss to look at the zipper. "silly." you said finally pulling down the zipper and taking off the skirt. Aki took it and threw it. landing somewhere behind him close to his closet door. he started to undress himself as well. trying to not break the kiss for anything, then he helped take your button-down off. he stopped everything, just to admire you. the moonlight shining through his window, it was the only light present in the room aside from the dim light of his clock that was on his bedside table.

he placed a hand on top of your thighs fiddling the lace that surrounded the baby pink cotton panties with a small little white bow that was in the middle. it was a matching set of bra and panties. both baby pink with a small white bow in the middle and lace around the edges. they quickly became his favorite set of undergarments he'd seen you in. even if he'd only ever caught glimpses of what you wore. he placed kisses all over your stomach, as he unbuckled your bra letting your tits bounce free. going back up to your boobs, he fondled with them and pinched your nipples. it made you moan as his cold hands and the cold air hit. the dent in his pants grew more as he continued to play with your nipples and put one of your tits in his mouth.

he let his other hand trail down to your pussy as he felt the mess between your legs. "so wet baby." his voice was muffled. he wouldn't take his mouth off your nipples as he toyed with your sensitive clit and teased your hole. when he finally leaves your nipples alone he gives you another passionate kiss before going down to your cunt, giving it a kiss as he wraps his arms around your thighs. he starts to pepper kisses all over your thighs and around your cunt. his mouth latches to your clit as you start to pull his hair. "you taste so good." he moans as he starts pumping two fingers into your hole. "A-aki someone is gonna walk in." you moan out. embarrassed by what is going on. "let them." he shushes you pushing a third finger in making you moan louder. he's making you get closer to your release. he reaches a hand for your nipple before you reach your orgasm. when you finally do, he smiles at what he did. when he stands he doesn't feel the boner he had throughout the day.

he walks out of the room to the bathroom. getting a towel and running it under warm water. when he walks back to the room, seeing you sit up. "what are you doing sweets?" he said as he sat next to you on the bed. "uhm I don't know to be honest," you said as he placed the towel on your thighs. he walked over to his closet and grabbed some clothes for the both of you, as you started to clean yourself up. "do you want something to drink? and if you want, the bathroom is just the next door over." he told you as he placed his clothes down next to you. pull on some black sweats. after, while he was waiting for your answer, he started to pick up all the clothes on the floor. "uhm yeah please." you said as you put on the clothes he gave to you. "Alright. ill get you some water right now. ill put everything to wash too don't worry." he placed a small kiss on your head as he went to grab a water bottle from the fridge.

you closed the bathroom door before he could give you the water so he left it by the door. going back to his room, he got the clothes and sheets from his bed. he finished cleaning everything before you got out of the shower, so he walked to his porch, grabbing his box of cigarettes and lighter. opening the door, he sat on the chair that faced the city. "Denji and Power should be back soon," he told himself as he took in the scene of the world in front of him. when he was about halfway done with the cigarette, the door to his porch opened. he turned to face you, seeing his shirt and sweatpants fit loosely over your body. "Thank you Aki," you said as he patted his thigh. he didn't want you to stand for too long if you were gonna stay with him until he finished the cigarette.

"For what? i should be the one thanking you." he smiled as he looked away to blow out the smoke. "why do you say that?" you asked as you rested your head on his shoulder. "you don't know how long I've wanted to even tell you I liked you, much less have sex with you." he said.

you two continued the conversation until he finished the cigarette. once he did. you both walked into his room. new bedsheets and an extra pillow were there. "I didn't know if you were gonna stay but if you are, just tell me if you need anything. I have to put the stuff to dry ill be back. make yourself comfortable," he smiled. you kissed him, then walked over to his bed. doing as he said. when he walked back into the room. you were fast asleep. he smiled before walking back out to turn off the lights and lock the doors. he walked back over to his room, closing his door before he got under the sheets with you. he placed an arm around you and pulled you closer to him. placing a kiss on your forehead as he fell asleep too.

Pieces Of Media I Consumed Recently

because i have accepted i cannot, for the life of me, do this in an organized fashion lol

CHAINSAW MAN('s anime)

I read the manga obsessively the moment I heard the premise. I grew up in the era of self-referential, masturbatory, whedon-istic media where no show or comic could just be unapologetically itself without getting weird and "haha isnt it DUMB we're making this?" the whole time. A manga about a guy turning into a chainsaw that is absolutely about a dude who turns into a chainsaw fucking appeals, okay?

Anyways. This is about the anime. The anime almost feels like a film at times- the characters move very.. Realistically. Very on model, which worked in some ways but made it a bit less expressive in others. It didn't have the punk charm of the manga, but otherwise? Steller presentation. I like how the anime further emphasizes that Denji is a kid- giving him more childish mannerisms (such as the infamous scene with himeno) that really hammers home the point of his character- that he's just a manipulated kid who wants some kind of normalcy and, most of all, love.

CHAINSAW MAN('s manga. part 2)

It makes me feel like the absolute joker watching how well thought out Asa is as a protagonist. Traumatic experiences can strip us of our identities- make us feel like all we've done is survive, and therefore, that's all we can do, so watching Asa fret over being a bore and be unable to connect to others without worrying about how things will crumble down is just a delight. I love her. Denji is also great so far! He's just so tired. This part's art has so much subtle improvement and once again Fujimoto is delivering bangers. Yoshida is never beating the yaoi allegations.

FEAR AND HUNGER: TERMINA

The fun thing about autism is that it forces you to enjoy things in the most "yeah this is my life now" of ways, which is fine when your interests are something normal you can explain to people like "dungeons and dragons" or "sailor moon" and not Termina, a game that makes you genuinely debate not if you should sever your enemy's leg, but which one.

Termina is crazy. A survival horror rpg where death is punishing, limbs can be lost AND trans women can do necromancy? It's great and it's terrifying. There's literally an entire area that I avoid because it freaks me out so bad so I GENUINELY take the long way everywhere to avoid it every time.

It's one of those games where any enemy can not only kill you, but maim you in ways that fundamentally change how you play the game. Dealing with enemies is a puzzle: how do you approach them? Do you deal with them now so you never have to deal with them again? Do you run around so you can wait until you're stronger? Do you shoot them from afar or save the precious ammo for something even worse?

It's a special kind of satisfying, but definitely not a game for everyone. I'd recommend reading the content warnings, as it's a dark fantasy with dark fantasy themes. It's also a game for adults only, no exceptions. Feel free to message me if you want to know about any content in the game that isn't listed out in the warnings on the store page. I might make a larger blog post about it later.

SHAMELESS

Ok, at first I really liked it! It's very funny, the characters are very well written, and it's very captivating... But I'm going to be real, the amount of Leering Shots Of Teenage Girls in what I watched of this show is enough to drive me bananas. I don't want to look up the sixteen year old girl's skirt, netflix, I'm ambiguously in my mid twenties. The show's insistence on making me look at karen naked ruined it for me. It didn't even feel like it was saying anything? It just kept happening!!! Anyways, tl;dr, shameless is not for me.

VELMA

So, listen. I need to admit something: I've been deep in the Western Cartoons Discourse Trenches since I googled "My Little Poney Forums" as a young teenager. I never really participated, but I'm aware of the cycle of Discourse that happens whenever a show Like This comes out- a show with marginalized characters that isn't very good, or at least is perceived as such.

I watched Sacrificial Trash and you should too

What generally happens is an outpour of outrage and criticism that's 10% warranted, 30% nitpicky and 60% literal actual bigotry. You end up with a lot of video essays of Yelling Men With Glasses that makes me, a contrarian hipster, really interested in proving the internet wrong and actually Enjoying The Thing.

After watching all of Velma, my verdict is:

I Enjoyed Watching It But Would Not Recommend It To Most

The show is funny! It's visually incredible! It has a fun plotline! It has a lot of nods to older Scooby Doo cartoons that I, as a Child Born After 1960, Enjoy! And I like basically every main character and most of the side characters...

Except... It has two massive, glaring issues in its writing. Two major themes that not only make the show nearly unrecommendable to most people, but also revolve around the worst character in the show, Velma herself.

To start, this show has a massive, gaping problem with self-hating anti-indian racism.

Every time Velma's ethnicity is brought up, it's made out to be a gag!! It's to make fun of her!! She's called an ugly gorilla constantly!!! She's made fun of for being hairy!!! And it's never addressed!!! It's just a running gag that Velma hates being Indian and so does everyone else. It's very uncomfortable. I was hoping it'd tone down but it doesn't. The show doesn't even seem all that aware that her self hatred about her own culture and her ethnic features is... a bad thing? It's very strange. I know a lot of south asian people who refuse to watch the show or didn't continue past episode one because of this and MAN. I get it.

The show also has a bit of a misogny problem, which is weird because it tries to be feminist at times? With Fred learning to appreciate women for more than their appearances, which was nice, but the amount of times femininity and appearance gets conflated with being dumb and vapid is... a lot. And the show seems half aware that this is bad while also just. keeping on doing it. And Velma is usually the one being misogynistic throughout the show, and while they kinda try to develop her past it, it doesn't feel like the show takes it seriously as a theme.

Anyways. If you watched and went "man, this show was very well produced and beautifully executed in its visuals!" like a huge nerd, please know that Amy Winfrey, creator of Making Fiends and a director for both Tuca And Bertie AND Bojack Horseman was the supervising producer and I highly advise checking her out.

PS: Glenn Howerton should do more voice work

this is just a ramble about chainsaw man, not a proper analysis or anything, i just wanted to write my thoughts down regarding the story because i’m still very intrigued after finishing it so… i don’t even have to say how bothered i was when i started reading chainsaw man, like- you’re supposed to feel bothered by denji’s situation since he’s pretty miserable and i had no idea how it was gonna go after the first chapter but somehow i ended up even more bothered than i already was.

when makima shows up and holds denji, making him go back to his human form, i don’t know why but i thought of aang and katara in episode one of atla when he gets out of the iceberg. i thought aang’s attachment to katara was cute because she was the first face aang saw after waking up of a 100-year-old sleep, somehow she saved aang. denji seeing makima’s face for the first after his reborn reminded me of that. my expectations obviously weren’t supported because makima instantly gives him two options: she either kills him or he becomes her pet. and i felt so stupid for being optimistic because we’re talking about a story that started with a teenager who lived his whole life in misery, who had to pay for a debt that wasn’t his, who had to sell parts of his body to live another day, whose biggest aspirations are the bare minimum. idk maybe i thought the situation was already so bad that things might just improve a bit? but yeah, i don’t think they did.

makima’s dehumanisation towards denji by calling him a dog and even making him respond “woof” and having him do what she wanted in exchange of food raised such a huge red flag from the very beginning to me because i couldn’t stop noticing how cruel and exploratory the public devil hunting system is. denji is constantly controlled by his wishes, by basic needs. he will kill devils as long as he gets food or a place to sleep, he will do this or that as long as he gets those basic needs despite multiple people questioning his motivations and the system itself, he’ll put himself at risk and accept such unreasonable conditions for the bare minimum. and it only gets worse, it gets worse to the point that denji wants to be a dog.

because chainsaw man is a story about privilege, or actually, the lack of it. it’s about someone who never had the privilege to idealise romantic goals. and it’s so cruel and ironic that even when denji achieves something, it’s never what he expected, the goals aren’t ideal or romantic at all. he wants to touch boobs and he gets to do it at the beginning of the story, but he feels disappointed. he wants to kiss a girl and he also gets to do it but he tastes vomit instead. and even when we understand that those wishes in fact mean that denji craves human connection, those expectations still aren’t satisfied. denji connects to aki and power but he kills aki and watches power die in front of him. and then he gets to ask whatever he wants from makima- and he asks to be her dog. that’s not only anticlimactic once again but also cruel, because it’s somehow the synthesis of a system that only takes with the false sensation of giving back. it takes and it doesn’t give back and it’s dehumanising.

even the bare minimum is too much to ask. and actually that makes sense, because why would someone with the bare minimum join such a horrible system? everybody keeps saying how crazy you have to be to be a devil hunter. aki, who wasn’t miserable like denji, joined the system because of revenge, but even that isn’t portrayed as something noble or heroic at some point of the story, people still point out how a lot of them joined because of the gun devil but they actually know they won’t be able to kill it and acknowledge how crazy you have to be to join such system. a great narrative such as revenge isn’t romanticised in this case. because aki, just like denji, has nothing to lose. in fact, when aki realises he has something to lose (denji and power) he gives up on killing the gun devil.

“everybody’s after my chainsaw heart! what about my heart? denji’s! does nobody want that!? huh!?”. at the end it’s a shonen with a dehumanising and exploratory system that measures people’s worth by how much they can serve said system. the biggest difference is how much more pessimistic (or realistic) it felt to me.

Pairing: Hayakawa Aki/Reader

Warnings: None

Notes: This was a first chapter (or well, the beginning of a first chapter kinda?) to a longer fic I was planning to write, but I haven’t been able to motivate myself to finish the whole fic oops :P

---

The first thing you notice about him is his suit. All black, save for the shirt, and much too old-fashioned for someone his age. The pants aren't tapered, and his shirt looks one size too big. He dresses like an old man at a funeral—minus the pierced ears. Though, you push those thoughts aside as he walks up to the register.

"Can I get a pack of Seven Stars?"

He sounds tired.

"I.D.?" you ask. He fishes around in his pockets for a bit before pulling out his wallet to grab his license. You squint to read his birthday and quickly do the math in your head.

"You're good," you tell him as you turn to unlock the glass cabinet holding the cigarette packs.

You ring him up, ask him if he wants his receipt (which he declines), and smile when he thanks you softly.

Fine, you'll admit it. He's cute, and you may or may not have glanced at his name when he showed you his I.D.

"Hayakawa Aki," you murmur to yourself. You doubt you'll see him again.

The next weekend, you're pleasantly surprised to find out that you're wrong. He's back, except he's not alone. Trailing behind him are two unfamiliar faces. A blonde boy with messy hair and a toothy grin, no more than eighteen at most. He’s wearing a pair of worn jeans and a t-shirt so wrinkled that you’re certain it was taken straight out of the dryer, crumpled up, and tossed into a drawer before he’d pulled it out today. Then, there’s a girl with a cat cradled in her arms and her jacket nearly slipping off her shoulders. She’s got bright pink hair and—wait, are those horns? Oh, shit. It takes you a few seconds to process that she’s a Fiend. You’re more surprised than anything. Most of the Fiends you’ve seen out and about have always been accompanied by someone from Public Safety, and you begin to wonder if there’s more to Hayakawa than meets the eye.

“Hey, Aki! Can we get snacks? All your snacks suck!” the boy exclaims as the trio walk past the candy aisle.

“Yeah, Denji’s right! All your snacks are lame!” the girl chimes in. You hear him heave a sigh.

"No. This is supposed to be a quick stop,” Aki states firmly.

Denji huffs and crosses his arms over his chest. “So you get to buy something and we don’t? Seems a little unfair, right, Power?”

“Yeah, this is inequality!” Power shouts so loudly that you flinch. “FIEND OPPRESSION! FIEND OPPRESSION!”

You stifle a laugh, watching as she waves her arms around frantically and screams the phrase over and over into Aki’s face. He looks like he’s two seconds away from ripping his hair out, and you can’t help but feel a twinge of pity.

“Fine!” he snaps in defeat, shutting them up immediately. “You get one item each. Meet me at the—”

They bolt down the candy aisle before he can finish, and Aki lets out a pained groan of frustration before turning to walk toward you.

“I’m sorry about them,” he apologizes. He sounds way more embarrassed than he should be, and you give him a sympathetic smile.

“It’s fine. I’ve seen worse,” you offer in consolation. He asks for another pack of cigarettes, the same brand as before, and reaches for his wallet. Though, his fingers come to a stop, hovering just above his pants pocket, and he frowns upon hearing the thunderous footsteps of his companions as they bound up to his side. Denji and Power drop two armfuls of snacks before the register, grinning like madmen.

“I said one item each,” Aki grumbles, but he pulls out his wallet to pay anyway. Aki’s friends move at the speed of light, ripping open a bag of potato chips the moment their receipt finishes printing. He rolls his eyes before scanning the receipt you hand him.

“Excuse me,” he calls just as you’re about to turn. “I don’t think you charged me for some of their snacks.”

“Oh, don’t worry ‘bout it,” you respond, lips curling into a shy smile. “It’s on the house. Plus, you seem like you’re in a rush.”

“No, no, I couldn’t!” he politely argues as he tries to hand you his card again.

“Hey, Aki! The hot lady said they’re free! Just take ‘em!” Denji cuts in. Aki elbows Denji in the side followed by a low, sharp whisper of ‘She has a name.’ Denji shoots him an irritated glare, pride wounded, before huffing back, “Oh yeah? Then, what is it? I bet you don’t even know! Stop actin’ all high and mighty just ‘cause you think I don’t got manners!”

You’re about to tell the two that it’s completely fine and thank them for stopping by the store, but Aki speaks before you can get a word out.

“I do, in fact, know her name,” he bristles, and Denji’s grumbling falters.

It’s an odd but heartwarming feeling to hear a complete (but cute) stranger say your name as he thanks you, even more so when you haven’t introduced yourself yet. You try to tell yourself it comes with the territory of customer service, that the smile on your face and the blush dusting your cheeks is how anyone working a thankless job would react when a customer spares a second of their time to glance at a name tag.

“It was very kind of you,” Aki adds while pocketing his pack of cigarettes, “but you don’t have to do that next time.”

“It was nothing, really,” you insist with a light laugh. “Thank you for—”

Denji groans, shifting the bags of candies and chips in his arms. “C’mon, Aki, hurry up. We have to go.”

Before you can finish your sentence, Power and Denji have already dragged Aki out the automatic doors, leaving you flustered and alone. You let out a soft, short sigh and close your eyes as you play back your recent conversation with Aki. You find yourself smiling at the memory of him saying your name, at the chance that you’ll see him again, but the ever-jarring screech of the store’s old sliding doors opening yanks you from your blissful thoughts.

Your aunt stumbles through the doorway, struggling to carry a large box, and calls for you.

“Where are you?! Come help me carry this!” she demands between heaving breaths. As you rush to her aid and take the box from her, you catch a glimpse of the store’s tacky uniform polo and freeze as you remember—no one here wears a name tag.

So As I’ve been in a state of burnout for a significant sect of the year, I’ve been picking up number of Bandai models to relieve my stress, since building things I find a relaxing endeavor, and they’ve been making me feel better.

(no, most of these were not built this year.  Only 7 of them in the first picture were ‘new’.  The rest are bits and pieces of my older collection I’ve happily been able to unbox and display for the first time in years.  Also: Hi Zoids models that didn’t get enough love during their release tenure!) I’ve actually been building models and Figures for years and years--I started out Heavily as A Lego kid--and since Gundam Wing Aired on Toonami in the late 90′s I’ve infrequently bought bandai’s various models as well, but most of the ones I built back then were...well, demolished by my younger step-brother.   My first ones were low-grade 1/144′s ToysRUs’ Got back in that boom, and they weren’t sturdy at all, thus had no chance to survive.

They’ve since been replaced with all MG’s from that series. Well, except for that 1/100 scale HG Altron that was first released in 1996.  that P-Bandai one is stupid expensive, and Altron’s Endless waltz Redesign is the only one of them I OUTRIGHT hate. It was around 2005-ish when I got into it again, when my parents got me for Christmas the 1/60 perfect Grade RX-78-2.  It took me about Eight hours to build and I did it all in one sitting...but it wasn’t sturdy at all.  It couldn’t even lift its arm if the rifle was in it, it wouldn’t stay up.   All I had it do was just stand there...Menacingly.

So from there on out--with the rare exception--I started to intermittently find and get as Gifts ones from the 1/100 Master Grade line.  THOSE--for the most part depending on what types of hands the figure uses and how well they even hold weapons--have been more my jam despite their 50~ish dollar price point.  Large enough they’re not easily smashed, small enough that they’re pose-able and easy to display, and with enough Complexity in their construction with the various implemented gimmicks to give me an immense feeling of satisfaction to see them done and on Display.  Yeah, there’s a LOT more variety and accessories to be found in the 1/144′s these days--in part thanks to the Gundam Build Fighters series making customization even easier than ever between that scale’s market--but I just don’t get the same thing out of them, despite only about 6 or less MG kits being made a year, with some of them being Shunted off now to Premium Bandai’s services to become stupidly overpriced for what they are and what’s supplied...even though I DO have a few P-bandai ones as well.  Stupid obsession with the Astrays, Tallgeese III, and Form/Equipment change gimmicks...

Hell, I’ve even experimented from time to time with custom Color palletes, with one of the first to get that treatment being the sword Impulse that desperately needed more contrasting colors (also thank aura that bandai’s finally releasing the Blast Impulse MG...even if it IS P-bandai so the display isn’t oddly missing a mech).  I’ve got the MG of the Sengoku Astray still in its box (with a bunch of other Gundam seed Mechs I haven’t build yet ‘cause I adore Gundam Seed’s mecha design and will be using those to unwind between overtime shifts this December)  and when I build it, I’m going to repaint all its red parts yellow to Give the Gundam that kind of resembles Kamen Rider Gaim’s Kachidoki arms the full Kachidoki color treatment.  Think I have Enough spare pieces from wrecked stuff to try building it a Custom Tanigashima “DJ Gun” Rifle to go with it as well.

Also the Gunpla hobby led me to doing the papercrafting thing for cheap-to-make Figurines or accessories or even scale props like the scaled-to-figure Gurren Lagann Giga drill pictured above, which I’ve moved onto doing custom templates for on occasion--

--case in point, the 1:1 scale pepakura Pandora Box--

--And my Gate of Ouroboros Broadsword which was a papercraft template I mapped onto Foam to get it near-damn-perfect...after I made a MK 2 of the original ‘cause the original ended up way too heavy.  I can basically trace a lot of my fun crafting stuff to being inspired by the creativity that goes into this kind of thing, and the work of other crafters and cosplayers, and then seeking to try applying that myself from all my learned habits.

But outside of the expected Gunpla you can find in Hobby stores and...for some reason Barnes and Nobles, which has retained a market throughout that time despite Bandai of America’s Idiocy thanks to bluefin Distributions, I’ve started tracking down some of bandai’s other model offerings.  Specifically, the Figurise standard and Minipla lines.

For those not in the know, Super Minipla’s are basically model kit versions of previously released mecha toys, only with a far smaller scaling from their DX Counterparts which you then build yourself.  They seek to retain all of the originals play gimmicks where possible, but come off a LOT more pose-able by their end than the DX toy bricks. Featured above is the Minipla of the Super Galaxy Mega (Astro Delta Megazord) From Denji Sentai Megaranger/Power Rangers in Space.  and this thing is *PERFECT*.  Despite it being half the size of the DX toy, it retains *EVERY* single play feature the original had (transformation, combination, weapon accessories, the works), but has fully pose-able limbs in every single part of it.  The freaking thing cost me $80 when back in 1998 the DX toy versions cost a total of $60, and yet factor for inflation and the impossibility of re-aquiring the 20-year-old vintage toys and this thing was *SO* worth it to get back my second-favorite sentai/PR Mech.

Hell, it’s not just the DX toys they compete against.  On the Right is the Super Robot Chogokin Gaogaigar with Goldion Hammer, and on the left is the Minipla figure of the same mech and weapon.  Both actually retailed for around the same price points on release, but there’s a more distinct compare and contrast between them. The SRC one has better paint apps, is constructed on a metal frame and has metal parts all over it, has distinct limb joints and proper articulation with a screen-accurate scale structure to it and has some weight to it so isn’t likely to topple over easily.  Frankly of the two...it just looks better in person.  Whereas the super minipla, while not perfectly in scale and doesn’t have the brilliance of the colorization to help it, Retains the transformation and combination gimmicks of the original toys which give it a lot more value to collectors that can’t afford the Full DX figures which bear the same.  Its Joints are also a LOT Tighter so the feet and arms aren’t likely to slip, and while not as good as the SRC, the screen-accuracy is far better than the original Takara-based DX toys or even the later Bandai remakes of them after Bandai bought the rights from Takara.  And with the right hand and hammer being a hell of a lot lighter, when I get this thing on a display stand it’ll be able to do more than just stand with the hammer planted on the ground.

The Figurise standard line instead is a model kit version of an anime/live series action Figure--Mostly limited to Dragonball and Kamen Rider figures right now But Digimon ones for the line are coming soon-- with them ending up in competition with Bandai’s SH Figuarts High-quality-Figure line, albeit with a lower Pricepoint than the SHF since you make it yourself and some of the paint apps are replaced with stickers, and their ease of mass production makes them more available than the SHF’s by comparison. Sorry I don’t have the best picture of the figure on hand, but for those not familiar with the character, it’s the Pink/Neon green/black-colored character that’s surrounded by Gundams (the pic was taken in the midst of a bedbug crisis where we were packing everything up in our apartment so it wouldn’t end up damaged)  The Character is Kamen Rider Ex-aid action gamer Level 2, and up close it’s near indistinguishable from the SHF for the character. And yet...I kind of felt like I got more out of the FRS figure than the sole SHF I have, simply because I put my time into putting it all together.  Yeah, the markings are stickers instead of painted on, but if those fade or start peeling?  I can paint-app it myself.  It has all the details I want, it moves how I want it to, and it came with a great stand for it to be placed in a fantastic jumping pose.    I actually want to find more of those for Kamen Rider Figures from the series I like, as I think it’d be better than dealing with the SHF’s which...well, depending on the figure?  Are notorious for production line issues.  while some models can have loose joints or frail pieces (which can be fixed with an easy application of super glue.  And any other scratches, chips and imperfections?  Yeah, those will be my fault, and won’t result in me feeling as if I got gyped in the purchase.

Sadly though, these figures aren’t exactly created equal.  On a limb I picked up the super minipla Shin getter robo set After My Roommate showed by GR Armageddon and we loved it; and...Eeeehh.  They’re not terrible, but they’re lacking for the expectation I had with the Minipla’s.  I think Kaiyodo’s Revoltech Figure line did better with these guys--out of print as may of those figures are now.  Black Getter 1 (Left) actually does look great with the Ragged cape and gun and razor arm...but the ball joints It, Getter Dragon (center) and Shin getter 1 (right) are constructed with do NOT like to stay together.  I can’t pose them at all without risking them toppling over or falling apart.  I think the Revoltech ones are bigger as well, making for better display pieces than these guys who’d be beaten out by 1/144′s.

hell, this mazinger Z Model was a 1/144, and it’s in scale with the Master grades. ...Mazinger mechs be big. But that brings us to a more recent addition via Tsuburaya and Studio Trigger.

One of the newer Additions to the minipla Line has been the Gridman figures, thanks to the anime series SSSS Gridman putting that franchise back on people’s Radar.  I had Gridman’s toys (when the series was imported and adapted into the series Superhuman samurai Syber Squad) when I was a kid and adored them...

..and sure enough, when I built the Thunder Gridman one, it was like popping back to a little piece of my childhood.  Same play gimmicks to them, and while the scaling is not the same, the engineering is all there to invoke the proper good pieces of nostalgia. To the point it resulted in the best thing about these guys, and It almost didn’t happen. When SSSS Gridman was airing, I ended up enjoying myself so much by its end I jumped at the chance to preorder the DX mecha figures that Good Smile company was releasing.  Unfortunately, the seller turned out to be a con-artist, and never shipped me the figure...though i did get my money back thanks to buyer protection.  I saw vid’s on it, and it looked pretty good...but it was completely out of scale and reasonable relation with the old Gridman Toys.  So when I heard about the Minipla’s going out for a lot less than the DX’s original and jacked-up price points?  I put in an order with someone I knew who was reliable for these...and really, I should’ve done so from the start.

The super Minipla Gridman Figures...are all perfectly in scale with each-other, and share all the same connection ports. I can put the SSSS Gridman Figures into the older Gridman armors.  That’s Primal Fighter Gridman wearing the Thunder Gridman armor (right).  Hell, I can swap the arms of the Gridman figures so the effect components can be put in the older ones as well as they use common components across the board in their construction.  I think in the future I’m going to put PFGridman in the king armor (left) as well, as the SSSS-Gridman figure has slightly Longer legs which would make the King Gridman armor scale better.  Because of this, I ended up a lot happier with these guys that I would likely have been trying in vain to get another decently-priced DX one, or even the Actbuilder release of the SSSSG Stuff that did scale with the minipla’s. So Bottom line?  I really like models, they help me relax, and I’ve been discovering some cool stuff this year that Bandai’s done which I wouldn’t have if I weren’t trying to find a way to vent stress.  Thank you disposable $16+ an hour Income for making such possible.

have you read fujimoto's short with the demon little sister nayuta? i enjoyed it a lot and do wonder if he's taken more of the ideas for that short and applied it to csm.

oh i've read all his one-shots by this point lol, and yeah it seems very clear to me that fujimoto is remixing/remaking nayuta of the end, which is about a little girl who's going to be responsible for the end of the world, and her older brother who loves her desperately but also struggles to take care of her properly and to connect to her. it's pretty much a 1:1 parallel to nayuta and denji in part 2!

i mean part of what i enjoy about fujimoto is that he has some VERY specific ideas/themes he likes to explore, and is clearly building on top of them with every new work and with improved skills. personally i'm a huge fan of creators rehashing their old works and improving on them, adding onto them, rebooting them after years of experience and maturity. in the case of fujimoto, his very first one-shot also features a codependent adopted older brother/younger sister pair, and agni and luna from fire punch also fit that dynamic (with some more overtly incestuous tones). but like, there are lots of examples of him flat out rebooting old ideas/works-- the most blatant is that look back is a rehash of an older one-shot of fujimoto's about two artist sisters.

i hesitate to predict anything re chainsaw man, but there's no doubt in my mind that fujimoto is elaborating upon that one-shot--the end of the world is 200% gonna be a thing in part 2 considering we have three of the four horsemen into play and that one of them is literally nayuta of the end. idk how much of a role nayuta herself will play since she's one of four horsemen (who all seem to have different agendas so far), and since denji and pochita will also involved in some way. she isn't exactly spoilt but denji is clearly struggling with raising her, which makes sense! he's a traumatized teenage boy and she's the reincarnation of his abuser and his metaphorical daughter and he clearly loves her to death while also having serious issues with setting healthy boundaries of any kind with anybody, nevermind with *her*.

i've seen people insist that he's clearly raising her perfectly and there's nothing wrong or weird about their relationship and i'm like..... eh? i mean, he's certaintly raising her a lot better than the way makima was raised by the government. she's a happy and expressive kid! he's giving her the love makima always needed and wanted. but he's also having issues setting limits on their relationship, or stopping her from throwing very destructive tantrums. and that makes sense too, again he's a very socially stunted teenage boy still recovering from life altering trauma! he's doing his best and it's clearly working out in some ways! but i'm not sure it's enough, or that it's a "healthy" relationship, and it's part of why it hurts my heart in a good way. when he tells her she comes first (apparently the english translation is kinda meh, it's best translated as "you're the most important to me, nayuta"), his expression is loving and *pained*. it's definitely a better relationship than between kenji and nayuta in the one-shot, but there's no doubt in my mind that it's going to be tested as denji tries to form relationships outside of nayuta, and as the end of the world and nayuta's sisters loom over her.

funniest and saddest thing in akis arc is right after aki meets kishibe after returning from hokaido and kishibe is like man living with them has to be a handful WHICH IS COMPLETELY TRUE we just followed a whole chapter of denji and power being utterly insufferable. like the absolute worst most exhausting duo of feral kids who aki cannot leave unsupervised for 5 seconds before they start eating week-old funerary offerings because as chaotic as they are individually as a duo they literally become 5 year olds who chop off limbs for fun. and akis like reluctantly WELL yeah theyre awful but like, theyve done so much progress, power no longer flings veggies across the room and very occasionally once in a blue moon denji actually pays attention to what i say. its so fucking funny kishibe is like "man youre a saint theyre exhausting. i mean i like them but boy are they tiring." and instead of bitching about it and agreeing aki fucking DEFENDS them. like "they dont shit over the furniture anymore, thats big progress, im proud of them." the bar is so low but listen theyre doing their best.

:readmore:

and then its followed by the immediate gobsmacking bitchslap of aki asking kishibe if he can abandon his life-long dream by withdrawing the trio from the gun devil expedition. his sole goal in life for years, it is so close, and he knows he has so little time left at all, and he gives it all up there and then. right after his trip with power and denji, the one they bullied him to join in. right after having to scold them and rein them in for two days straight like toddlers. less than a month after being confronted with the possibility of a world where neither of them are alive, and realizing that he cannot bear that possibility. it doesnt matter that he would be able to die finally fulfilling his dream of destroying the gun devil, of avenging all his losses, of going in peace. the idea of denji and power dying there, or being left with nothing when hes gone... its enough for him to give it all up. he's willing to spend whatever time is left seeing them fuck up his apartment and squabbling and just.... living, free of fear or danger. his sole goal now is to die with the certainty that they will both have a long and happy existence, that he'll have protected them and fulfilled his role as an older brother. he is fine with dying still! he has accepted it as long as theyre ok. he saw these two gremlins who were supposed to be everything he hated, he grudgingly himself take care of them bc he was asked to, grew used to them being in his life. and then he grew to love them, to love how much denji enjoyed his cooking, to love how power played with her cat, to enjoy their squabbling and appreciate the efforts they did make. these two feral strays with no manners grew to trust and rely on him, they started sharing the chores (with much complaining) and allowed themselves to be vulnerable with him, they clung to him when he wanted to leave for hokkaido. and aki fucking gives up on revenge! he gives up on fighting! he will not live for much longer, but he wont spend his remaining time on taking down the creature that has haunted his life. because he isnt alone now, he has a family hes grown to love and who loves him. he will spend these last few weeks teaching denji to cook himself, making sure power learns healthy eating habits. he will sit at the table and share meals with them and savour every last moment. its the only thing he wishes for anymore, he has nothing else, and yet he has more than he ever thought possible.

he finally allowed himself to love, to give up on revenge, to be at peace. its fuckjng gutwrenching that makima took that away from him, that he died not only as what he hated, but burdened with the knowledge that it was too late and that his family would suffer. he was willing to give everything over and over again, spent his last minutes begging for a way for power and denji to be happy. for power to live, for denji to not be burdened with grief and guilt. he never blamed denji when the future devil told him about how aki would die, he inherently knew that it would not be of the boys own volition and that it would wreck him. mere minutes left, spent begging for power and denjis lives. he didnt even get to realize or fight back, he didnt get to say goodbye. he died a mockery of himself, turned into an instrument of pain against his family. he died as a shambling corpse whose instincts guided him home, only to unknowingly destroy that home. he died because from the very start, makima *intended* him to love power and denji and take care of them, she was building this edifice so that the collapse would be that much more devastating. he died because makima understood the power and pain of real relationships and love, and it was all in the goal of punishing denji for being chosen by pochita. it was all because she never had it herself, and wanted it so badly, and aki and power were merely dolls for her to get what she thought she deserved. its so fucking cruel and evil and it is so fucking tragic for everyone involved including her.

but man akis arc is not "a lesson in the futility of revenge" or a punishment for his early singlemindedness. he did realize these things. he had them in his hands. he was going to succeed, he was protecting his family until the end. it's just that makimas control was so absolute, her chains so strong, he never had a chance anyway. none of them ever did!