pacing back and forth in front of my laptop like a caged tiger debating on making an amazon account

my uty shrine that is mainly starlo (i am going absolutely insane)

Little Sprout: what happened with big us?

Current Sprout: ................ *INCOHERENT SOBBING-*

yeahh- *sniffles*

if i had a dime for every time an animated series started with the mc's kid-self getting their extremely battle savvy parent killed because they literally can't listen to directions just fcking once and stay out of grown folk business......

the art is Taking Its Time so in the meanwhile here's some things I've been working on

...

oh i don’t remember writing this??

So I’ve been following you on here and Twitter for a while and I just think someone needs to tell you you seem to keep making out that anon who didn’t understand your AU into an awful person. They said they were autistic and didn’t word things well, it’s been ages and you’re still posting about them like they personally wanted to try and make you feel bad when they stated they didn’t and even apologized for how they came off. I’m not trying to be mean here myself and I hope you don’t take it that way, but its just not right how you seem to be twisting their words due to miscommunication which was clearly something they tried to fix once they realized how it came off wrong and affected you.

i'm not taking you as being mean but you're approaching me with intent that is making me out as a villain for being hurt by their words. i'm sorry, but i am not using what they said to me to do anything but express the anxiety and hurt it's given me. it has affected me all these weeks later to the point i barely draw lilith and hunter because it has burrowed into my head. i have OCD, am also autistic, and have extremely low self esteem, it is not easy to forget what they said, even with the resolution we had. their words hurt me. they apologized and i said it was okay and we talked it out because i do know they were not trying to hurt me, i said that when it happened and i feel the same now. and i have not spoken about them like they are some evil asshole for the things they said to me. but i am allowed to talk about how it hurt?

it's also tied to my own aroace journey, too, and gives me a lot of anxiety to remember how poorly i was judged over that and my own au and with lilith in general. i had already had so much anxiety about sharing my human au details because of that. again, when i've spoken about it (i think two times? on twitter) i have not called them any names or spoken about them like they were evil or mean, but what they said to me was harsh (even if unintentional) and still affects me. furthermore, i have even defended them or said 'nah they weren't being an asshole' or similar because i know where they were coming from.

like i'm sorry if it read that way but it's not how i was coming off, but the anxiety this has caused me is heavy. they are also anonymous and i am not. me mentioning the occurrence while talking about my anxiety and aroace identity doesn't come back to them, but it is now something that happened to me that hurt.

6 years ago today i joined the failboat discord server and effectively joined the community. contrary to what you may think i have no regrets

i think that's officially like. more than half the channel's existence. and about a third of my life. which is crazy to me. wish i could do more to celebrate but ig im just stuck here on tumblr for now

i swear to fucking god i am like unironically and fully seriously an inch away from buying a teddy bear and talking to it like. tom hanks in castaway and whatnot. not talking to anyone is driving me so insane its unreal

I'm ngl, I'm not actually having as much fun with side order as I was expecting...

Be me - Want to write, have the motivation to write

Has too many projects to finish

I wanna finish unravelling, im so close, but also febuwhump starts tomorrow and I've only got like 4 done.

it's a concept exclusively catered to the extremely niche demographic that already plays both already niche games and they're also entirely different genres with entirely different playstyles and mechanics and everything BUT arknights should collab with final fantasy 14. not because it would be a good idea in any capacity (although it definitely would hello hello pspspspspsps devs) but because i desperately want to know. if arknights characters showed up in ffxiv would they use the already-existing miqo'te and viera models or would they have wholly original 3D models just for the sake of this crossover

playing lots of dead by daylight killer recently. can people please tell survivors that they shouldn't wait to pallet stun a huntress. or W run a huntress. or body block a huntress. also that stealth and flashlights is the best way to destroy a huntress player. thanks.

sincerely signed a huntress main who slugged the whole lobby 3 times in a row just today.

playing the thousand dollar dress up game and having a blasty blast hehe!

ifykyk : but are ur muses still at the restaurant