#like this isnt how it sounded in my head 🧍‍♀️ | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

torhues · 1 year

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kageyama tobio.

kageyama doesn't have a high alcohol tolerance.

in fact, he doesn't have any— maybe a little bit— but mostly no, and yet still, he doesn't refuse whenever someone offers him a drink. you've been over this many times, telling him that drinking is not volleyball and continuing to drink probably won't improve his tolerance, though your effort is of no avail.

because if it were, you wouldn't have been standing inside a restaurant-bar at eleven pm, watching the alder's trying to get a hold of an almost-passed-out kageyama tobio, who, for some reason, smiles the moment you enter his currently blurry field of vision.

"we're sorry you had to come here this late," ushijima apologises while you throw kageyama's arms over your shoulder, making sure he doesn't fall because of the lack of sense of balance. "i could've dropped him home but he insisted on going with you,"

which is another reason why you want him to stop drinking.

while being your best friend makes him one of your top priorities, it absolutely doesn't mean he can call you at the most ungodly hours and have you pick him up after heavy drinking sessions. and even if he does, he can at least try to be a little decent and cooperate instead of saying that you're the one who's drunk and he will drive you back to your place and even look after you for the rest of the night.

"tobio, i don't think i'm the one who needs supervision today," a sigh escapes your lips as you manage to get him on the back seat of your car.

"i will look after you so, don't worry," he replies in a chanting tone.

it's quiet now.

you steal a glance at him through the front-view mirror. kageyama is busy basking in the city noise and street lights. cold winds brush past the rosy dust on his cheeks, his blueberry eyes telling a story of a million stars under the crescent moon, as if they're communicating in a language so foreign for the humankind to comprehend.

these are the moments when you realise that one could ask why you like kageyama, and you could give a thousand reasons why you're actually in love with him.

"do you know, we lost today," he speaks above the blaring horns of vehicles. kageyama sounds sober, or maybe it's just the mood that has gotten him in such tones.

"is that why you drank too much?" while your works keep up with his', your mind is busy focusing on driving as your filter through the traffics. on other days, the roads would've been quieter, a little emptier. though, the weekends are not.

kageyama exhales heavily. "maybe,"

and it gets quiet once again.

kageyama isn't a talkative person in the first place. he has always been the quieter one, the person who succeeds in silence, finds solace in lack of noise, but having him stay quiet next to you feels out of place. the reason is far away from the usual 'he talks a lot when he warms up to the people,' because in most cases, it's not true, and it wasn't for you either.

none of you talked properly until a year or two ago, and just when you had started getting to know each other, you had to move to veinna for an exchange student programme you applied to; and ironically enough, you bumped into each other at a bar a few months earlier. turns out, kageyama only ever talks if he has a lot on his mind. he distracts himself by striking conversations, but when he's quiet, his mind is empty, and he ends up overthinking, blaming himself for things that weren't his fault.

but, you realise you can't do anything, so you let the rest of the ride pass by in heavy silence.

"are you still thinking about the match?" the question leaves your mouth the moment you park in front of his flat, holding the door open for him to get out the car. "it's fine, winning and losing are by products. what matters is that you gave your best,"

it's funny because you're in no position to say that when you frown upon the exact same things. winning and losing, despite being secondary to effort and hard work, mean more to people. no one cares what you've gone through, or what you are going through. no one cares about the process, they care about the product. it's one of the new things that make you feel that you and kageyama aren't so different, after all, despite being polar opposites.

kageyama and you have been on opposite tracks ever since the day you met, and it doesn't even have to do with your zodiacs and personality— you don't like sports, while he earns off them— and, you don't know how you both got to a point where he's the person you trust blindly and you're the one he seeks for in the dead of the nights. it's something that comforts you while reminding you how you both have completely different worlds. perhaps, it's in the habits and insecurities that follow, or the simple realisation that kageyama is a star while you're just a planet revolving around.

there's a line between him and you that's stopping you from entering his world, and vice-versa.

"tobio," you call him again, putting an extra emphasis to get his head out of the pool of self-depreciating thoughts he's drowning into.

"i'm thinking about something else," you unluck his door, he turns around to face you, "i'm thinking about you,"

he settles his eyes on you, fixating them there for a better look as if he has never seen you before. kageyama doesn't get out of the car and instead, spends the next five minutes staring at you as you stare back at him with the same interest, or perhaps more, before he breaks into a soft chuckle. "you're cute,"

and his words leave you speechless.

you don't want to overthink and assume a complete different meaning of his words, changing the trajectory of your relationship— which is actually what you want but, not this way— you decide to play along. "well, i believe i'm more than just cute for being the one to pick you up whenever you're wasted—"

"and pretty," a pause follows, one that makes you forget how to breathe. "you're beautiful, and smart— maybe not smart, or a little bit smart— and you always listen to me despite having your own problems, you have a good alcohol tolerance which balances us out— i don't know what i'm saying," your heart skips a beat, "i think i'm in love with you,"

"you're drunk, tobio,"

"no, no— listen," but he insists, taking a step towards you with the most troubled expression because you are not getting him— it's makes complete sense in his head. "you're like a perfect set, like, like the one that makes my heart skip a beat and makes me so nervous but also puts me at ease and is the reason— no wait, fuck, i mean—"

"you don't know what you're saying," you interject with a chuckle, trying to put up a normal front while in reality, you're losing sense of everything because kageyama is confessing to you; and, it's both an honour and a shame because he is intoxicated at the moment.

"i don't," he exhales.

kageyama falls quiet once again. there's dejection on his face along with hints of desperation to voice his exact feelings, to make sure you understand how he feels about you, and you know his words couldn't me clearer, but he is drunk. you know better than trusting saccharine words laced with smell of alcohol, although you would've already kissed him if you were braver and he was sober.

"but i really love you," he speaks up again, chanting the same words as a mantra, "i really do love you,"

"you should g—"

"more than volleyball," it's serious, he wants you to know, because kageyama told you that volleyball was his first love, and now he puts you above it.

another step towards, his hands brush against yours before he links he index finger with yours. you almost give in, almost, finding it hard to control yourself through the close proximity between him and you. it feels like the time has stopped when his eyes settle on your lips. you find yourself getting drunk on the alcohol in the breathe, or the way his lips are barely centimeters away from yours. "i love you,"

your hands rake up his chest, a moment of regret floods over your mind, you push kageyama away. "say that again when you're sober,"

#♡ hues'.#♡ handmade.#haikyuu x reader #kageyama x reader #haikyuu fic #kageyama fic #haikyuu fluff #kageyama fluff #haikyuu drabbles #kageyama drabble #haikyuu headcanons #kageyama headcanons #haikyuu kageyama #kageyama tobio #man what even is this ......#like this isnt how it sounded in my head 🧍‍♀️#ignore the typos btw help ;;;

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1800-page-not-found · 1 year

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Okay... Slow dancing with Dokja scenario plz... I will cry so hard when this comes out 🤧

you guys im getting writers block and i dont feel as enthusiastic to write but oh well 🧍‍♀️

how do people dance and not step on other people's feet

also, this is in an alternate universe where TWSA doesnt exist and kdj isnt depressed and suicidal

kdj x fem reader--"memories"

One two three four one two three four-you counted the beats as dokja's hand was resting well on your waist, other hand intertwined with yours. It was hard to look into his eyes without getting nervous or flustered, everytime you finally had the courage to gaze into his beautiful dark brown-black eyes, he'd give you a warm smile that would make you feel so fuzzy inside, a feeling of comfort.

"Theres no need to be nervous [name]," he whispered into your ear. "there are other people dancing too." he gave a slight chuckle, very well audible by you as his head was still positioned next to your ear. "But you're watching me." you say, still a bit nervous. "I don't care about what others think about me except you, dokja." He smiled softly at your complement. "Then let me tell you, you mean the world to me, i'd do anything for you, okay?"

"mhm" you nod, smiling at him as he twirls you around the ball room.

It was truly a sight to behold, seeing kim dokja in a lovely suit which matched your dress. "So, prince charming, would you like to get a glass of champagne afterwards?" you gaze at him in a love struck manner. "I'm not quite sure your majesty, I'm satisfied with whatever you'd like to do." He replied back, mirroring your playful attitude. As you both dance together, you both giggle quietly, making sure the orchestra is still audible and everyone around can still hear the music.

~~~

Many years have passed by since then. the two of you have been so occupied with work you both have forgotten to take care of yourselves and each other. Perhaps a late Friday night, gazing up at the stars in your penthouse will do the trick.

You place a vinyl onto your record player and gently place the head onto the record as it starts playing slow music. At the sound of the music starting, kim dokja comes out of the bedroom. "this sounds familiar...i just cant put my finger on it." You laugh, "I'll help you remember." You place his hand on your waist and take his other hand as you guys start to dance, kim dokja's movements start to sync with yours. "Ahh... this song. You really love this one don't you" You shake your head as you rest it onto his chest. "no, its you i like to dance with to this song." You smile as you close your eyes, his head resting on yours as you both dance together until midnight.

#kim dokja #orv x reader #omniscient reader's viewpoint #orv #omniscient reader's viewpoint x reader #kim dokja x reader #kdj x reader #kdj

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ticklish-n-stuff · 1 year

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hiii, how are you doing today? :) i hope you’re doing well ^^ this isnt a req (obv since ur requests are closed) but i have a huge pjsekai brainrot and need to let someone else know about it at least 🧍‍♀️ SO, i imagined after a show, tsukasa and the others allow some kids to talk to them about, well, whatever they want lol and one of them asks tsukasa if he has a weakness and he’s like ‘obv not im a star i dont have weaknesses’ and the kids dont believe him so they start listing some weaknesses to see if he’s actually telling the truth and one of them says like ‘ur not ticklish either?’ and tsukasa actually freezes up because he doesnt know, he tickles other people sometimes, sure, but no one has ever tickled him before and he hasnt really even LET other people do it because hes supposed to be a world future star, he ‘cant let that kinda thing get in the way’ or something (bad idea cause now he’s severely touch starved) and he’s like ‘well look at the time i gotta go now’ and the kids (and the other wxs members) get really confused LMAO but then rui decides to fix the problem and let tsukasa have the experience of being tickled and they both find out he is EXTREMELY ticklish and yeah thats kinda it i just needed to get this out of my head im so sorry if this is a bit too long

Hello! I've been feeling a bit sickly but overall I'm good, hope you're doing good as well ^^

And EEEEEE THAT SOUNDS SO CUTE IM ROLLING ON THE FLOOR!!! TOUCH STARVED TSUKASA IS SO REAL

I might come off as an antisocial bastard, but I'm always happy to hear other ppl's ramblings so feel free to share them anytime ^^

#asksksksks

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djservo · 1 year

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[...] I have zero ideia how money works in the US, but it sounds cheaper than paying a power AND water bill value in a Kindle which is the case where I live ― but it would save me a lot of space bc the place where I keep my books is getting full. Guess I'll finally have to get rid of Dan Brown (Deception Point was such a disappointment!! Dan's characters are there only to serve to the enigmas and such and nothing else, b4 it wouldn't bother me, but nowadays it does; AND IT DID, especially when he inserts a brief story about their past with the porpose of using it to cheap drama ― and I could go on and on) 🫠 There's so much I want to read since I got back into reading last year (especially try to read in english to get better!!), but I've been having so many migraines the last couple of months it's almost impossible to concentrate 🧘‍♀️ But out of the 20 I read in 2022, I can mention A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess (and I feel a bit embarrassed bc Alex does SO MUCH shit but he's such a intriguing character 🤷‍♀️), Brave New World by Aldous Huxley (planning on rereading!!) and Nocturnal by Scott Sigler, as the ones that got stuck in my head the most. I would recommend Nocturnal to anyone without giving any context even tho I think most wouldn’t get as excited as I did 🧍‍♀️ I'm trying to get into Trainspotting by Irvine Welsh bc it was the last one I bought alongside Essex County by Jeff Lemire (made me cwy 🥺🧎🏻‍♀️) but I'm not in the right mindset to deal with Renton, Sick Boy & Company!! But I LOVE that movie so much, and books usually tend to show more. But well, we'll see 🙆‍♀️🧏‍♀️ [...]

part 2 of this lovely novella 💌

Well DAMN a kindle isnt That worth it then scratch everything !! 😮‍💨❌ ugh but yes I feel you about saving space — I have very little restraint when I see a good deal for a book I've been wanting to read or really when it comes to secondhand shopping in general - I'm like, it's secondhand so it's fine!! But No!! I literally do Not have the space for more things!!! I did what I THOUGHT was a big purge of my bookshelf a couple weeks ago but I Still have to stack books on the floor bc I can't fit everything on the shelf... like truly two towering piles 🤦‍♀️ Maybe I'll try not buying any books at all this year, or only buy if I get rid of the same amount I already own ykwim 🤨 I haven't read any Dan Brown but I feel like I always see someone reading him at airports so maybe for my next long trip I'll try one of his 😶‍🌫️ (but not Deception Point, got it 👍) I would've assumed English was your first language, you speak (type?) it so eloquently! I've been doing duolingo since the pandemic but even with my 800+ day streak (yes really) I feel like I've absorbed nothing substantial, certainly not enough to feel comfortable conversationally which is disappointing! I always say I wanna take a language class but this year for real... I'm trying to get on UR level, reading books in other languages n shit! 😤💪 also bc I've been thinking so much about the act of translation and how much can get lost/changed, so I think it'd be a really interesting experience to read a book in it's original language + its translation to compare meanings and whatnot 💭

Oooh I loved A Clockwork Orange when I read it!! I still haven't gotten around to seeing the film, but I remember when I was a kid I'd look up clips on youtube to scar myself bc I thought it was all so freaky and bizarre LOL I read Brave New World in high school when I was like strictly in a David Sedaris phase (oh so smart and sophisticated of me 🙄) so I don't think I really cared for it at the time which is ANNOYING! it'd be cool to reread books I was assigned in school now with more Refined skills of interpretation/concentration — particularly Jane Eyre which I stupidly left until the very last possible second to read and we had this big in-class essay coming up so I crammed the entire 500+ pages in one day and it was such an agonizing yet amazing feat 🫡 and I remember I did actually like it despite the cramming, but I think I'd appreciate/take even more from it if I were to read it now and take my proper time with it 🧘‍♀️ ANYWAY. Will definitely check out Nocturnal at some point this year and will Not read Anything about it!! I love going into things like that - I'm trying to stop reading letterboxd reviews before I watch movies this year too bc I have such a bad habit of it 🤦‍♀️ I try not to read reviews of books either bc I don't want ppl's opinions inadvertently shaping mine while I read, but sometimes I just want to make sure a 3+ hour long movie is worth my time ykwim?? But that's all subjective yada yada fuck it, we ball and go into things blind this year!! 🤾‍♀️ I've been meaning to read Trainspotting too! Coincidentally I always kind of lumped it with A Clockwork Orange + Fight Club with the sort of societal commentary/offbeat characters on the outskirts of society thing. Maybe I'll read both Trainspotting and Fight Club at the same time, watch the film adaptations for them (and A Clockwork Orange finally), then transform overnight into a fake deep edgelord dudebro 🃏

#asks #💅 anon

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softxsuki · 2 years

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HEYYYY (this totally isnt 🍄 anon) could i please make a request. school has been really stressful, especially with my depression and ive been completing less and less each day and I have been feeling so so guilty abt it. my thoughts happen mostly at night when im trying my best to sleep. though, the voices in my head wont leave me alone:,D Ive been crying sm beacuse of it and the voices in my head keep telling me that I shouldnt be feeling this way, and how I have everything I need etc.

kuroo, being my comfort character, i would like to request a sceneario where he wakes up one night to gn reader crying at abt their depression etc. and where he reassures us abt it all? ik you just did like 2 kuroo fics alrdy so im fine w you putting this request aside and work on other requests before this one:)

tysm in advance:]<333

Kuroo Comforts Reader At Night About Their Depression

Pairing: Kuroo x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mentions of depression, stress, guilt, feeling like giving up

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Drabble

Word Count: 990

Summary: In which Kuroo wakes up to you crying at night about your depression and stresses with school so he comforts you c:.

[A/N: HELLOOOO SORRY FOR THE WAIT! I'm insane for keeping my requests open when I have over 100 pending right now aaaaaaahhh, but I'm so glad I can write things like this to help you guys out <3. I've been sick this whole week, coughing my lungs out and sneezing like crazy, so apologies if this sucks. I blame the mucus in my brain (that's gross I'm sorry NBFHEABFK) UHHH YEAH, I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed with your studies and juggling your depression and guilt as well. Things WILL get better so keep pushing forward. Once school is over you'll feel a lot lighter, but for now we can just keep trying. TRUST ME once I graduated it felt like a breath of fresh air. Keep fighting through each day because I promise you that better days await you, and you're not gonna want to miss that! ;) <3 Hope this drabble helpsssss. Also I wasn’t sure if you wanted this to be romantic or platonic SOOOOO if you wanted it to be platonic, then you guys are cuddling and sleeping together as friends 🧍‍♀️ :) okay bye ]

It was late, around 3am as you sat wide awake in bed with Kuroo snoozing beside you. Drops of moonlight seeped into your room from the windows through the gaps in your blinds; it was a serene night, a huge contrast to the utter turmoil you felt within you.

It had been weeks since each day seemed to drag on and on. Small tasks seemed like huge chores as it felt like you were barely making it through each day. You were falling behind in your studies for school and your parents had called you multiple times in concern, which just made you feel guilty. The dark pit in your stomach only grew larger as each day passed, threatening to eat you whole at any second.

You turn away from Kuroo in bed, shuffling away from his arms that were once wrapped tightly around you as he continues to sleep. You curl into yourself as warm, fresh tears make their way down your face as your thoughts completely consume you. Why couldn’t you just get your act together and get everything that you needed to get done, done? Why did you have to feel so stressed, which only made your depression even worse as the fear of disappointing your parents and Kuroo loomed over you? Why couldn’t you just DO IT–study, do everything you needed to do? Why did you have to cry about it now? What was crying doing for you? But each negative thought just made more and more tears fall down your face.

You try to hold your sobs back, but they eventually escape your lips as your body trembles and shakes with each sound. You feel Kuroo stir beside you as he sits up in bed.

“Hey, what's wrong?” He moves towards you, leaning over your form to get a look at your face, but you turn away and stuff your face into your pillow so can’t see you in that state.

“I’m sorry for waking you,” you say between sobs with your head still stuffed in the pillow, hoping he can make out what you’re saying, “I’ll just go to the living room.”

You begin to move, crawling out of bed, but a firm grip around your wrist stops you, “Y/N,” Kuroos calls you, “Tell me what’s going on.”

You hesitate. Did you really want to drag Kuroo into the mess you called your mind? You glance back at him, a desperate look on his face as his expression falls further at your tear stained face. Ultimately, you sigh in defeat and sit back down on the bed as you explain everything to him, from your depression, to the high stress you’ve been feeling lately, and so on.

“I just feel so guilty that I haven’t been able to do anything around the house or find the energy to study for my classes. It’s almost like I get paralyzed the more stressful my classes get and I can’t seem to get anything done. I feel depressed and just tired of everything. I just…want to lie down and give up sometimes,” you confess as guilt once again spreads throughout your body.

Kuroo sits beside you the whole time, his hand that still held your wrist rubs soothing circles into your skin, encouraging you to speak until you were done.

“It’s okay to feel stressed sometimes. I’m sorry for not noticing sooner,” he sighs and looks over toward you with a small smile, “There’s no need to feel guilty about not meeting others expectations of you. You’re doing your best and school can get extremely stressful at times. You’re doing so well fighting your own battles with your depression, your daily tasks, and juggling your studies on top of everything. What’s important is that you’re trying.”

You take a shaky breath in and meet his gaze, “But what if I can’t try anymore?”

If your words shocked Kuroo or scared him, he didn’t let his expression falter as he gives your hand a squeeze, “Well that’s what I’m for. I’ll help you get back on your feet. We’ll take each day at a time, starting with getting you slowly back into your studies. Perhaps we can find a fun way for you to study so you feel more motivated to do it?”

You think it over, imagining yourself laughing and smiling beside Kuroo while studying instead of dreading it, “Yeah, I think that would be nice.”

So together you both come up with fun ways to study; from treating yourself to your favorite things like food, a quick anime break, or music break, to studying outside to expose yourself to new scenery like a park or library instead of the same four walls of your room; Kuroo was intent on helping you ease your stresses from your classes.

“Of course this is just a start as I’m sure your classes aren’t your only problems, but we’ll slowly get through this together, okay? Now wipe those tears and lets get back to bed,” he says while pulling you back onto the bed with him into his arms, “And don’t feel guilty about things like this. Everyone can see how hard you’re trying, so never be afraid to ask for some help and guidance. Your family and I will always be there to help you when you need it.”

“Thank you Tetsuro,” you whisper as your eyes suddenly start to feel heavy.

“Anytime Y/N,” you can fainly hear Kuroo reply as your eyes flutter closed.

It was as if all the negative thoughts and voices in your head vanished as the emotional weight you had been carrying released you, allowing you to relax in Kuroo’s arms long enough to feel at peace. With your eyes closed and Kuroo holding you close to him, you dream of the future where things would be brighter and lighter each day, and it was all thanks to the man beside you.

REQUESTS ARE OPEN :D

Posted: 4/18/2022

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