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closhelby · 3 years

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HER. - Thomas Shelby

Smut

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warning: it’s peaky blinders, with smut

Word Count: 2472

AN: this is my first time writing smut, please give me any tips pls, it’s appreciate. It’s probably shite.

::::::

She always was on his mind. The woman, that always read between the lines, always two steps ahead of him, and had an incredible eye for business. She had left him years prior, leaving for a top business school in London. they never had a title, a label on their relationship, but it wasn’t exactly a secret that they always, somehow, gravitated back to one another. Often people, especially Polly, would say that there was no way two people would be so alike, strong headed but only rarely clashed.

However y/n’s degree had finished and she was coming back to Small Heath for a period of time before she was going to figure out what exactly what she wanted to do. Y/n was actually great friends with the Shelby family, since growing up with them, living just down the road, they practically lived together. Y/n was actually younger than Tommy, she was ages with Ada and John. They were in the same class throughout school, Ada and y/n regularly wrote to each other, updating each other on Ada’s eventful life as a Shelby still in Small Heath and y/n’s very exciting studying life in London.

They had actually planned to meet up, for a nice and quiet drink at the Garrison on her return. The thoughts swirled in y/n’s mind as she approached the Garrison, it had just gone 6pm, and she knew as it was a Friday, she did have a possibly of bumping into her first, arguably her only love. Pushing the thoughts to the back of her head, she pushed open the door to see a fairly crowded Garrison.

“Ah, y/n, how was London?” Harry shouted, from behind the bar. Y/n smiled at him, walking over to Ada sitting in the back corner. “It was good Harry, nice to be back in this clear Birmingham air”. He chuckled slightly, “Whiskey coming up love”.

Y/n nodded, taking a seat next to Ada, giving her a cuddle, “Unsure if ive missed this place or not” y/n laughed slightly, eyes scanning the pub, looking for the one man she questioned if she did want to bump into. The pair was throwing back drinks like it was going out of fashion, knowing they would both regret this in the morning. Apparently, Ada wasn't allowing y/n to go back home, and in fact y/n didn't have a home yet and wasn't willing to go back to her parents, so Ada was insisting that she stayed at hers until y/n found a suitable place. Y/n didnt put up a fight, despite them both being hot heads, and taking absolutely no shit from anyone, men or woman, y/n didn't argue. She was actually really thankful for her.

They eventually stumbled into the house in the early hours of the morning, their laughs echoing throughout the silent house.

::::

The sun caught y/n directly in the eyes, quickly awoke y/n from her sleep. Her head felt as though someone had been hitting her head against the floor multiple times. Y/n continued to lay there, turning away from the sun, trying to keep the contents of her stomach from getting sprayed all over her and the sleeping Ada. She made an attempt at moving, sat with her head in her hands as she was trying to give herself words of encouragement to get up and make herself something to eat.

“Fuck sake, why do we do this to ourselves?” Ada moaned from behind her. Y/n scoffed, “ Your bloody idea”.

Quickly standing up, in hope she could get it over with quickly. The room continuing to spin, as she attempted to walk to the door. Ada following closely behind.

They both sat slumped over the dining room table, as they attempted to sober up and embrace the oncoming hangover. John now present, laughing at the two dying woman in front of him.

“Good night?”

“Always.” Ada grumbled.

Pol placed a plate in front of them, toast with jam, “Does Tommy know your back?

Eyes falling onto y/n from every person in their, “No.” answering quietly.

Attempting to change the subject, “Told myself I would start looking for a new job today, since I shall be staying here for a decent period of time.”

John raised his eyebrow, “Tommy’s looking for a new secretary.” A slight smile on his face, “You've got a good background, business and that”.

“hm, I don't think so Johny boy”.

“Don’t say no too soon, your a good asset to the business.” Pol added. No one was ever in y/n’s corner more than Pol, they would bang heads sometimes, as neither of them would back down. But she accepted y/n was the only one that had the best interest for Tommy.

The front door closed, and there he stood, the room turning to face Tommy, silence filling the room, then he broke it, “Heard you were back.”

“Yeah,” she replied quietly.

“Well, you know where I am if you need that job, I’m sure you’ve already been told,” he spoke, cigarette hanging from his mouth, as he walked away from them and into his office.

Y/n let out a breath, as though she hadn’t been breathing the whole time he was there. Ada smiled at her, placing her hand onto y/n’s, “I’m just going to get ready for the day love,” and off she went upstairs. The boys getting on with their day, and Pol following suit.

Y/n sat collecting her thoughts while trying to tell herself to face her ex lover, who she was still so deeply in love with. She tapped on the door slightly, opening it before opening it, “hi”, seeing his eyes flutter onto her shot tingles throughout her body, his eyes quickly looking away

“You can start tomorrow if you wish, I need a few papers signed and sent tomorrow. I can get your contract drawn up tonight.” He spoke, his eyes still not lifting from the paper in front of him.

“Yes, that’s fine 8am?”

“8.45, shop doesn’t open until 9. And there are others to set it up, that’s not your job.”

Nodding, “I heard you have a new woman.”

At this point he did look up at her, “I heard you had plenty men in London,”

She laughed slightly, nodding before heading to the door, “none were ever a patch on you,” closing the door, leaving a smirk on Thomas Shelbys face.

The following day came around, as y/n got ready for the day. Putting on a formal black tightly fitted dress, flats and pin curled hair. A slight tint of red lippy, remembering it used to be Tom’s favourite. Assuming Tommy wouldn’t be at the shop at this time, she took a whiskey with her placing it on the desk infront of Tommy’s office. The place was silent, despite there being other employees now starting to arrive, something calming about the place, almost the calm before the storm, she thought.

The hour was now around ten thirty, and there was still no sign of Tommy. She had already finished the papers he had left for her on her desk. It wasn’t the usual small Heath lady, she was educated, and to a very high level. y/n was sat twiddling her thumbs, awaiting Tommy’s arrival to get other things done.

“Y/n. My office please,” his voice low, as he stood behind her. She stood up quickly, following him into the private room.

“There’s your contract, if you wish to have a read over it. I see you’ve finished the work I gave given you for the day.”

Y/n took the contract into her hands, scanning for any mistakes or anything to question. But he actually was paying her nearly double the rate of other staff, and just over that the London rate was, “you’ve done your research eh. More than London rates, impressive. The peaky’s are stepping up in the world” Y/n smiled at him, as she placed the documents on the desk, picking up his pen, and signing it. Y/n Y/l/n. Followed with today’s date. That was now it, she was a Shelby Co Ltd employee.

...

The days turned into weeks, spending time with tommy while no one else was looking was becoming a regular thing. She now had her own place, just doors down from the shop. He would regularly call her into the office, and discuss things that he would usually never utter a word about. It had always been that way with them, since they were little, he would confine in her, telling her all the issue and problems he was facing, both in his mind and with others. But it was also coming to her attention that he was still seeing Grace.

Later on in the day, the clock chimes 11pm, as y/n sat listening to the music that takes her back to a child, while sipping a whiskey. The knock of her front door bringing her out of her daydream, she picked up her handgun that she kept on her at all times. Growing up with The Shelby’s, she had to protect herself in someway. She kept it behind her, out of view for anyone who was in front of her, slowly creeping up to answer the door. She swung it open, gun clocked and pointed directly in the face of Thomas Shelby. Not wasted, but defiantly had a few.

“Ah, can never change a Shelby girl eh” He spoke, laughing slightly as she lowered the gun and he stepped inside.

“Although, I’ve never been a Shelby girl, have I Tom?”

“Depends who you ask.”

She sighed, stepping in to the fire lit living room, “Drink?”

He nodded in response, and y/n began to pour him a whiskey, topping up hers and handing a full glass over to him. “Why are you here?”

He stepped over to her, the closest they had been together since before she left for London. He placed a hand on her back, pulling her head into touch his, their foreheads touching. The sensation ran through her body like the first time they had ever touched. He placed his hand on around the back of her neck, pulling her into him, his lips crashing onto hers. Their tongues intertwining with each others as the kiss started to deepen. Y/n reached for his jacket, pulling it off his back, before making her way on to unbuttoning his shirt. Tommy pulled the bottom of her nightdress up, y/n only allowing the kiss to be broken to allow it to come over her head.

Their lips syncing with each other once again as tommy took his now unbuttoned shirt off, moving onto unbuckling his trousers revealing his already hard length. He began to push her back onto the couch, untangling her lace thongs from around her legs. His fingers trailing over her already wet pussy, “Do it” y/n whispered as she pulled his face back up to kiss hers.

He didn't even wait as he shoved his length into her. Their bodies rocked in sync together, “Tommy...” Y/n moaned, her fingers trailing down his shirtless torso. The stars were starting to align, the room was warm, full of love. It felt as though it was five minutes but in reality it was around fifteen all in.

Their breath shortened as y/n’s back started to arch as she came close to climax, “cum for me”. He spoke, looking at her directly in the eyes as he rocked her world. The love, chemistry, love and lust, all so very present just as it was back how they were before. Both of them moaning in pleasure, as they both came at the same time. The deep breaths and steamy windows showing the passion that had just unfolded.

::::::::::::::::::::

It was a Friday evening, a week following the night of sin that taken place between Tommy and Y/n. They had still had the talks in private in the office, and on another occasion she was fucked bent over his desk after closing time. Y/n wasn't one to hide her feelings, it would always be present on her face so when it came to facing Grace in the Garrison, it wasn't hard to tell how y/n’s feelings were over her.

Pol chuckled softly, clocking the glare Grace was on the opposite end of, “If looks could kill” Ada joining in on the hilarity.

“She would've been killed 8 times over” Y/n replied, turning back to face the women. Whiskey in hand.

“Feelings still there for him then?” Ada asked.

“No, I wouldnt say so” y/n lied.

“Cant lie to a gypsy woman love” Pol laughed, y/n begining to laugh with her when the doors open to reveal Tommy and his two bothers. Tommy’s icy blue eyes scanning the room, a slight smile shooting over to Y/n before approching the bar where Grace was, where he stood there for a good twenty minutes chatting away to her.

“I cant take this anymore.” y/n looked over to Ada, who was rising her eyebrow while taking a sip of her drink. She was fairly close to them, and y/n being y/n liked to have a slight stir up now and again. She stood up, smile showing on her face as Pol and Ada laughed, watching her approach them both.

“So, hows your little fling going?” she spok loud enough that Pol, Ada, Arthur and John could hear her.

“Y/n” Tommy warned.

“Who are you?” Grace questioned.

“Y/N,” she responded, leaning herself against the bar, “The woman he has fucked behind your back multiple times this week.”

Pol snorted, almost chocking on her drink, “ I fucking knew it. Gypsy senses never lie.”

“To be honest with you Grace, you had absolutely no chance when Y/N came back” Ada added.

At this point, Tommy had moved y/n away from the bar, into the small room, “what are you doing?”

“You cant take the piss out of me, fucking me but then fucking her thinking youll get away with it.” she was pissed, and he could see it in her face. They had never spoke on their feelings toward each other. Everyone knew that it was always each other but there was nothing that compared to them, they always seemed to go back.

“I have always loved you but you left to go to London, I had people follow you. I knew what you were up to so I assumed you would stay down there, I assumed you had moved on.” He spoke, almost showing vulnerability.

“Oh I know. I can remember faces Tom. I think you forget I can see right through you,” she seethed, through her teeth, “what are you going to do about this?”

Tommy cupped her face, pulling her into kiss her.

“I love you.” He mumbled, feeling her smile into their kiss.

“I love you Tom,”

#thomas shelby imagine #peaky blinders #cillian murphy #tommy shelby #tommy shelby smut #tommy shelby x you #tommy shelby x y/n #tommy shelby fluff #tommy shelby x reader #tommy Shelby #tommy shelby imagine #peaky blinder fanfic

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nanowrimo · 3 years

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Marathoning During the Time of COVID

It's ok to readjust our goals to become more realistic as things change. Long-time NaNoWriMo participant Nicole Rodovsky writes us a love letter, sharing her experience with writing and offering her vulnerability to remind us to take a rest.

I'm writing you this love letter because I think it's a message a lot of writers need to hear.

It's been a ROUGH couple of years for everyone on the planet. We band of merry, delirious, obsessive writers often let loose and give ourselves permission to drink questionable levels of caffeine and eat ridiculous things... all in pursuit of finishing the Race With The Self, for the funniest bragging rights and prizes, and (for many of us) the dream of the ultimate prize: a publishing contract. In these times we have no way of knowing how many of our NaNoWriMo family have fallen from COVID or have gotten ill and recovered, but were unable to finish their goals. Reflecting on this year’s Camp NaNoWriMo July 2021, I have a message for you: Know yourself. Love yourself.

Know when to stop.

I freely made use of lowering my word count goal during this summer’s Camp NaNoWriMo session when I knew I wasn’t up to my original goal. Lockdown has taken a toll on me, and this time I had my smallest goal yet. I'd been struggling all month but I'm normally one of those procrastinationatrixes who somehow manages year after year to pull off my highest word counts in the last few days. But it wasn’t going to happen this time.

I am grateful to report that despite the title of this letter, I don't have COVID, but I titled it this way because right now it's most relatable for those who have gotten sick and have had to pause writing for their health.

On Day 17 I pulled off an astonishingly high word count for me, historically. I also grew sick, nauseous, dizzy, my back hurting. There were other unpleasant symptoms, but the dizziness threw me off and I had to Google it to remember I had been through this almost 30 years before: a serious kidney infection.

A couple of days later, the ER gave me a full CT with contrast, two bags of IV fluids, potassium supplements because I had stopped eating, meds for nausea, and an antibiotic infusion by IV. I would have been admitted if I had waited half a day longer.

With just nine days to go, I knew I faced at LEAST six more days of side effects from the antibiotics, plus the symptoms as the kidney infection does battle with the drug. Not to mention sudden caffeine withdrawal! No coffee, no energy drinks. Even my favored black tea is… frowned upon. I needed to eat VERY mindfully, with careful timing: I can't even grab a yogurt if I've just taken my medication. (Seriously, never do it: Think Mentos and Diet Coke out your other end. For hours.) I needed to lower my sugar intake, so all my little guilty pleasures, the tools many of us shamelessly use to keep ourselves alert and awake to write at all hours, had been ripped away until the kidney healed. Even then it could only sparingly be black tea for weeks. And I could not physically sit or lay in one position for hours, writing.

So, I was done for July, whether I liked it or not. I have a new battle to fight, a more urgent one. But I ended early, genuinely satisfied with the copy I've written, knowing it was hard-won and a lot of it is great material, ready for when I'm healed and able to revisit these pages.

We fight hard to encourage each other to make it to Day 30. But listen to your body. Love yourself enough to know when you've pushed too hard, take pride in the work you've accomplished, and come back when you're healthy and ready to get back at it with gusto.

I will see you, fellow hellions, in November.

Love,

Nicole.

P.S. You're damn right this letter is going in my word count!

Nicole Rodovsky / EveningScribe on the NaNoWriMo site, is a 46 year-old unpublished writer and bead artist originally from Seattle, Washington. Her main genres are usually Science Fiction or Fantasy, but she is currently working on her first Historical Fiction Horror novel, which she hopes to find a publisher for upon completion. She is a member of the vibrant writing community in Second Life and has participated in NaNoWriMo since 2003. She has won a number of times and currently lives in Pullman, Washington.

Top Photo by Steven Lelham on Unsplash

#nanowrimo #writing #writer #by nano guest #Nicole Rodovsky

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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years

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THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part II/VII)

"candy floss"

Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.

Pairing: George Weasley x Reader

Genre: angst

Tags:

Suggested by: @crispykittywitch

Things never go as planned: @sarcasticallywitty15 @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @leovaldez37 @missmulti @weasleywh0r3s

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog

Warnings: grief, feels, brief mention of Fred x Reader ig?

A/N: I decided to name the parts bc why the fuck not so keep an eye on the titles 👀. This story is based off this convo and these headcanons. If you wanna be tagged in the next parts tell me, and enjoy <3

Prologue :the aftermath

Part I : sleepless nights

Part III: shock therapy

Part IV: wrong name

Part V: the perfect excuse

Part VI: the downfall

Part VII: apart

Epilogue: I still love you

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

The moment the last group of customers decided it was time to call it a day and exited the shop, I left the till counter and grabbed my wand from my pocket, instantly turning the sign in the door so it could be read from outside 'closed'.

A sigh escaped my lips as I leaned against the multicolored wooden rail.

I was drained.

The shop helped our minds to get distracted and stray from the grief, yes, but it was also exhausting.

We had been subconsciously overworking ourselves to the point where it was borderline self-destructive.

It didn't help that I was throwing myself into comforting George, either. I could not be blamed for doing that, though; he was broken.

A part of me, the rational one, knew he would pick up the pieces and build himself up again, it would just take a lot of time.

There was another part of me, though, that depressed, drained part, that was beginning to think he would never heal by himself —maybe he wouldn't heal at all— but still held onto the hope that, if I tried hard enough, I would be able to mend what had been broken in him.

A terrible idea, really, because I started to dismiss in its entirety my own miserable, damaged state.

And George, ever the caring, sensible one, would have noticed that; he would have made me realize I was not doing nearly as well as I thought, he would have talked some sense into me, but he wouldn't— he couldn't, because George was lost in an ocean of grief, trying so hard not to drown that he wasn't able to notice I was trying to aid him from my very own sinking boat.

It also seemed to be working; he was more animated, slept more soundly, and his smile was a bit brighter even —at least the one he had for me.

"Rough day?" My eyes, which I didn't know I had closed, fluttered open at George's voice.

"Very."

He walked to me with a tinge of guilt in his face. "You know we can switch places, right?" I had been working as the public face of the shop since we had reopened, and George had taken on the task of doing the paperwork and shippings instead, showing up from time to time to help me and to let people know there was still a Weasley running the business.

I had been the one to suggest this, since I knew George had compromised with reopening only because of me, and he was clearly not ready to put up a sociable, positive attitude for dozens of people every day.

"Nah, it's fine like this." I assured him with a reassuring smile.

He measured me with his eyes for a second; I couldn't really tell if he saw through me or not. "So I was preparing the today's shippings," he rocked a tiny purple basket I quickly recognised in front of me. "I found this in the back of the stockroom."

"Are those—?"

"Candy floss cupcakes, yes." A year and a half ago we had bought five baskets of candy floss cupcakes from Honeydukes per George's request in order to unsuccessfully try and implement them.

"Are they even edible anymore?" I couldn't help but laugh.

"I hope so?" He chuckled too, tearing the film covering the sweets. "Thought we might as well finish them."

My eyes travelled from the basket to him and viceversa before stating, "well I'm hungry so..."

"Same here." He was the first one to pull out a pastel colored cupcake, though he handed it to me. "Wanna get food poisoning together?" Laughing, I gave him a nod as he grabbed his own cupcake. "At the count of three?"

"One"

"Two"

"Three." We said in unison right before taking a bite of our respective madeleines.

I frowned at its surprisingly good flavour. "Am I delirious or are they actually edible?"

"Dunno," he shoved the rest of his cupcake into his mouth with a shrug. "maybe we're just starving."

"Go big or go home, I guess." I finished my cupcake before leaning on the basket to pick another one. My head snapped up with my brow quirked when I heard a soft chuckle. "What?"

"Nothing." George shook his head, motioning at the stairs. "Shall we sit down?" I followed his lead, sitting on the stairs and waiting for him, who had stepped towards the drinks aisle to grab a couple of juice bottles, to do the same.

We stayed there, eating and drinking in a comfortable silence until the basket was empty and our eyelids threatened to shut.

"I think we should head back to the flat." He spoke, leaving the half empty juice aside so he could stretch.

"I'm gonna learn how to cook." I stated, getting up. "We can't get by based on most likely expired sweets and whatever is in the Leaky Cauldron menu."

"Aight." He mimicked my actions, picking up the stuff we left on the stairs. "We will learn the basics tomorrow." He got behind me and began to gently push in the flat's direction. "But now we're gonna get some sleep, miss."

I would be lying if I said my heartbeat didn't pick up when his hands landed on my shoulder blades and made their way to rub both my arms reassuringly.

I would be lying if I denied I leaned back when he did that, letting myself get closer to his chest.

And I would definitely be lying if I said I didn't crave going back to my room so I could cuddle him all night.

One Week Later

"—right in the cauldron, love." I pointed at the cauldron besides me, giving a sweet smile to the kid in front of me, visibly going to be sick thanks to the free sample of Skiving Snackboxes.

"Y/n!" I spun around at the loud calling of my name above the shop's racket. I was able to discern a long, red mane flowing fast towards my position right on time for the owner to wrap her arms around me.

"Glad to see you too, Ginny." I laughed, trying not to lose balance due to her enthusiasm. "How come you're here?" I questioned, pulling away.

"We heard you were open." Harry walked up to me, appearing from behind the girl, "And thought we'd pay a visit to our friends, right?" Ginny nodded, looking around while Harry gave me a quick, yet comforting hug. "Where's George?"

I motioned up to the small office, redirecting the couple's eyes to the second floor. "Doing paperwork—AH!" I jolted when a pair of hands tickled my sides, my head snapping to see the towering ginger standing behind me. "Speaking of the devil."

"I thought I saw Gin through the window," George explained, his hands lingering on my waist for long enough to his sister to stare, before pulling Ginny into a tight hug. "And came down to check if she was distracting my employee."

"You got her all bored here, mate." Harry pointed out, a light joking tone in his voice.

"And you're the one supposed to help with that?" George rolled his eyes dramatically. "Pfft... What a world we live in." With the said, he gave the boy a side hug. I heard Harry murmur an 'We missed you' before they pulled away with a pat on the shoulder.

My gaze landed on the youngest Weasley, whose welled up eyes were trained on her older brother's half smile. I only averted my eyes and waited for her to discreetly wipe away the unspilled tears while Harry and George catched up.

By the letters she had sent me, I reckoned the last time she had been near George, he had been lifeless; seeing a glimpse of who was once one of the most cheerful, funny and charismatic people in her life, was probably poignant to Ginny.

I hadn't realized she had moved closer until I didn't hear her soft voice. "Thank you." I offered her a confused smile, though deep down I knew what she meant.

Two Days Later

George was having one of those days.

We both knew it was coming soon; it had to happen sooner rather than later, since he had been in a surprisingly good mood for almost a week. I suspected seeing Harry and Ginny had brought back the events of the Second of May.

I suggested to close the shop for the day, since he was unable to move out of bed; he refused to do so, but I convinced him to stay in the flat and rest —it was Tuesday, anyway; I wouldn't have to handle many customers.

Due to that, when I saw Hermione, Ron, Bill and Fleur entered the shop, it was understandable that I hadn't become the happiest person in the world.

I greeted them, there were hugs, kisses, and even a joke or two, and when Bill asked about George, I excused him without giving much detail.

They understood.

Fleur was the one to restart the conversation, lightening a bit before requesting a tour for the shop, since she had not yet been there.

It was when we reached the love potions that Hermione, using the fact that Fleur was very much interested in the product, held my hand and pulled me aside.

"So... how are you doing?" The frown in her face, the fact that she was whispering, the squeeze her hand gave mine, let me know she had read me the moment her eyes met mines.

I sighed with a shrug.

"You can tell me." Could I? "No one's asking you to put on a happy face, Y/n." The girl assured me, her eyes digging into mines. "It's not just George, we all lost—" she shook her head at her own words before correcting herself. "you lost him too."

I lost him too.

I bit my lower lip to stop it from quivering.

The memory of Fred's broken smile as his corpse laid on the stretcher, that memory that haunted my dreams, appeared vividly before my eyes.

My lips started to burn with the ghost of that kiss he gave me before we split up, him with Percy and me with George; it hadn't been meant to be a goodbye kiss. It was meant to be a good luck kiss.

I covered my mouth to muffle a sob, and Hermione's arms were quick to be wrapped around me, reassuringly rubbing my back.

GEORGE'S P. O. V.

I saw them entering from Y/n's balcony; I wasn't emotionally ready to face them all at the same time, but when I didn't see them exit, I figured Y/n hadn't been able to dismiss them.

I decided I owed to them all to bite the bullet, so I threw on a shirt and the first trousers I grabbed, cleaned up a bit and left the flat.

With a deep breath, I made it to the second floor and mentally prepared myself to go down to the first one.

As I began to climb down, though, I noticed Hermione and Y/n talking in private, closer than the others to the stairs.

I didn't mean to eavesdrop, but all my senses were automatically focused on Y/n whenever we were in the same room; she just stole me away from reality.

"You lost him too."

Hermione's words visibly triggered something on Y/n.

'Something', as if I didn't know what they had triggered, as if I didn't know what— who was on her mind.

I guess he was always on her mind, though.

What was left of my heart shattered in a million pieces when she broke down to tears —for several reasons—. "I miss him." She whispered in Hermione's shoulder. "I miss him so much."

If I had any tears left, I would have cried my eyes out right there. Had I been so selfish that I had disregarded how she was feeling? So blinded by the light and love and warmth she was constantly giving me that I had forgotten about her grief? Was I that bad of a person, that I would have rather live in the illusion that she had not lost the boy she was dating?

My mind told me I didn't want any of those questions answered.

"George!" As Ron yelled my name in surprise, Hermione and Y/n pulled away, the latter rubbing her eyes while both of my brothers jogged upstairs to hug me. "Ginny told us you're open—"

"But Y/n said you weren't feeling well." Bill finished, squeezing my shoulder. "We only stayed a little longer for Fleur to see the shop."

"Yeah, we'll come back tomorrow," Ron assured me. "So you can rest and..."

My brother's voice sounded further and further with each word; I felt myself drifting off, getting lost in my own mind and gravitating towards the same thought over and over.

She deserves better.

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wisteria-lodge · 3 years

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a burnt / exploded badger primary + badger secondary model

Hi! Ive been looking at this amazing sorting concept for a while now, but every time i try to sort myself i get stuck. I think im either a burnt snake primary that models lion or a burnt lion primary that models snake, but im unsure about which one.

All right, let’s see what you’ve got.

I was pretty involved in a student club and took up bartending duty, which i really liked because it was a place to have casual social interaction with people without going to the trouble of figuring out how to be friends (which i am Bad at since i can remember, ive like 3 friends and i try to talk to them monthly but more feels exhausting). But a side effect of being a bartender is that drunk people share their entire life story and trauma with you which i quite enjoy once in a while, its quite flattering if people trust you enough to talk to you about personal things and its interesting to learn more about how they work as a person.

So you’re telling me you have a Badger secondary, or at least a Badger secondary model. And three good friends who you check in with monthly doesn’t sound like such a bad set up? If that’s what you want/need, you’re good in my book. But there’s definitely some kind of angst surrounding “making friends” which seems like an outside influence. I’m keeping an eye on that as I read.

But if it happens a lot when you sleep way less than you should it quickly becomes exhausting.

Okay. Lack of self-care. Particularly of the “overworked” variety. That is something that Badger primaries usually really struggle with. You might want to take a look at Exploded Badger Primary, honestly.

I once had a breakdown over that i knew too many suffering people and that i couldnt help them all.

This is either the breakdown of a Badger primary, or a really really really Badger-flavored Lion. (and probably we’re still talking Badger).

I sometimes got angry at people who dumped all their trauma and fears on me but didn't once asked me about how I was feeling, or if they did and I answered with "bad" they quickly changed the subject.

Oh. Problems with boundaries. That’s one of the traits that Badger primaries and secondaries tend to share.

Not sure if that one is more about me having Bad Friends or me seeing friendship as a transactional thing

This makes me think that your Badger secondary might be a model

I know seeing friendship as transactional is a Bad Immoral thing and I'm trying not to see it as such.

It’s interesting that you frame this in such right/wrong, Lion-y language. But this idea “viewing friendships as being a means to an end is fundamentally immoral” - that’s much more of a Badger primary thing than a Lion primary thing.

but these friendships were imbalanced which did not feel fair to me.

If Lions value authenticity and Snakes value freedom, Badgers value fairness. (I’m still trying to figure out that *one* thing Birds value.)

Another thing is that i never cared much for family. I was raised with a "friends are temporary, family is forever" mindset, which I did not quite vibe with. I hung out with my sisters all the time, but I'm not sure if that was out of choice or out of necessity, if other people just didnt Get me the same way they did or if I thought so and therefore didnt try to make other friends.

You’ve got a slightly insular, very Snake primary family culture - but you yourself don’t seem to have a single Snake bone in your entire body.

It's probably me acting out against my parents way after puberty (where I did not act out, since I knew acting out was what the Wrong kind of people did and I was Better than that).

Here’s that moralistic language again. This instinct “to not act out” really does seem like it’s coming from you and not your parents. And I this idea of “the wrong kind of people” is really Badger. Badger primaries are so interested in community, which makes them especially likely to categorize like that.

after i moved out that I joined the student association, to show that friends did exist and being in large groups of non family people could be a good thing.

‘After I moved out I joined a large community, to show my Snake primary family that this is a legitimate way to exist.’ Badger.

In family gatherings, me and my sisters were always seen as "the kids" and people never treated us as full conversation partners. (Its getting better, but we've been Full Grown Adults for a while now and are all living by ourselves now, that should have happened way sooner). I never minded that much tho, I was fine by playing with my baby cousins and participating in the performative steps of small talk until visits were over.

I’m thinking that this badger secondary is definitely an unhealthy model.

Then there are my thoughts about the question "what would you do if you realized everything you thought and believed was wrong". A while ago, there was a huge argument in my friend group from the student association and it fell apart. At the same time, a situation happened in my family which caused me to not exactly break completely with them, since I am trying to fix it out of a sense of obligation, but it almost happened.

Oh my, a stressed out Badger. This is a situation that would hit a Badger primary really, really, really hard.

This started me believing that a large group of people which are yours, or a goal/cause you chose for yourself, is wrong because people will let you down and abandon you.

This is so Burnt Badger.

people will abandon you if your actions are wrong enough, or try to force you to change your decisions if they disagree with them enough

Just a guess, but I think you’ve been dealing with some Lion primaries. This is the kind of thing that a really intense Lion would do.

people will abandon you as soon as you are not longer useful to them, and dont want to play the desired role they expect you to anymore.

Oh no. We’ve got some more Exploded Badger right here. ‘My worth is my usefulness’

I only started to think about "who am I?" And "what do I want?" At university, where I made a few decisions (which I do not regret a bit) which made me sleep way less than I should which caused me to stop reflecting and thinking about myself, and then the Incident happened.

There’s an aspect of both the Badger primary and the Badger secondary which functions like a mirror. It’s so powerful, but if you’re not careful you can lose yourself. It sounds like you’re on the right track though, it really does.

after which I spent all my time and energy trying to Fix it, and now that I realize that I can't I am so far away from who I am as a person that the easiest way to exist is to shape myself in whatever form is desired.

That’s the Badger secondary (or the badger secondary model) talking. I’m a Badger secondary, and I modeled Badger primary for a long time. I’ve spent so much time trying to Fix It. But you can’t. You can’t fix other people. They have to fix themselves.

But I'm not sure if the code switching I do is who I am that has revealed itself by me having nothing left, or a coping mechanism I picked up to stop people from getting disappointed by me while figuring out who I really am.

That settles it. You definitely have a badger secondary model. And there’s something else is under there.

#sortinghatchats #badger primary #badger secondary #double badger #badger secondary model #burnt badger primary #exploded badger primary #sort me #wisteria sorts

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ididntneedanewfandom · 3 years

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BkDk week in collaboration with @paraniva-art !

Day 1 - sweaters Day 2 - sick Day 3 - ice skates Day 4 - scarves

and now day 5 - Sub-Zero

__________________

"I think you should sit this one out."

Izuku doesn't turn to look at Kacchan and keeps putting on his costume. He flexes his hands in his fingerless gloves, pulling them on tight.

"Did you hear me, nerd?" Kacchan asks, his voice just a tiny little bit louder but still controlled.

"I heard you," Izuku says, still not looking at him. "I'm going. And I don't want to argue about it."

He can hear Kacchan's boots on the tiled floor of the changing room, can practically feel him standing there, just behind him. It's not an effect from one of his quirks; he's just that closely attuned to Kacchan's body. He still doesn't turn around.

"Izuku." His voice is a whisper now, but the urgency behind it is still rising. "Last time--"

Izuku slams his locker shut and takes a shaky breath before finally facing Kacchan. A few years back, he used to look up at him, literally and figuratively. No more. They're eye to eye, now. Side by side. Partners in every possible way. And while he understands that Kacchan is only thinking of him, it annoys the hell out of him that he wants to protect him from this.

"Last time I still thought I could reach him," he says, and the words are as bitter as the memory that left a hand-shaped burn scar on him. "I promise you, I have no such illusions left."

Kacchan's grim expression twists into a grimace. He reaches out, lays his hand on Izuku's chest, and despite the costume, Izuku knows Kacchan's hand covers the scar almost exactly. He's always touching it, as though he could erase it with enough caresses.

"I believe you. That's exactly why I think it'd be better if you didn't come."

An announcement comes over the P.A. system before Izuku can reply; everyone going is expected outside now. They walk out together and join the rest of the raid party. In the van, Kacchan's shoulder remains pressed against Izuku's the entire time.

It's a complete and utter shit show.

Three fucking months of preparing for this. Two dozen full-fledged heroes, plus a bunch of sidekicks--no interns, though, U.A. learned from its mistakes. Hundreds of hours spent gathering intel, following leads, putting together the puzzle pieces of a chaotic organization, if they can even call it that.

And in the end...

Katsuki grits his teeth and wipes the blood sliding down the side of his face.

In the end the exact thing he wanted to avoid happens: he goes with Deku into battle, and suddenly it's just them, facing SubZero on the other side of the battle field. Judging by the grin stretching his face, a grin that doesn't extend to his mismatched eyes, he doesn't mind the confrontation like Katsuki does. Or maybe he was hoping for it.

"If I'd known you were coming tonight, I'd have baked a cake or something," he calls out over rubble covered in ice, ashes swirling around them all from where the other big fight is happening further on, blue flames rising in the distance. "Stocked on your favorite tea, Izuku-kun. Or have you finally taken a liking to coffee? I bet you've pulled some long nights, trying to track us down."

"We didn't just try," Deku replies; the idiot, he should know better than to engage. "We did track you down."

The villain they used to know as Shouto Todoroki laughs, and in the light of the moon, his hair, bleached completely white, glows almost like silver.

"Did you? Does it count as tracking us down if we let ourselves be found? If we made sure you were fed just the right information?"

Fuck. Katsuki was beginning to suspect this was the case, but to hear it confirmed...

"Deku, please stay back," he says. "Let me take the lead on this one."

A few steps ahead of him, Deku doesn't give any hint that he heard. Lightning is coursing through his body. From where he is, Katsuki can see just the beginning of black tendrils extending from his fingertips.

SubZero laughs again. "Oh, he says 'please', now? You've trained him well, Izuku-kun. Who knew all that asshole needed to learn manners was a dick up his ass?"

Small explosions pop on either side of Katsuki from his open hands and he scowls... but it's all an act. SubZero wants to rile him up, of course. Katsuki is not going to give him the pleasure, but he can use that to his advantage. If the fucker thinks he's not thinking straight, he might make a mistake.

Which might be very useful, because there goes Deku, charging into the fight with a growl that sounds like "Shouto!"

Katsuki moves instantly, and he's just half a length behind Deku, but damn it. This was not the plan.

Everything becomes a blur.

Later, Izuku will only remember bits of pieces of this fight. Words. Impacts. He'll be grateful he doesn't remember more.

Like when Shouto, after using only his ice for a few minutes, suddenly lets out a huge blast of fire with a mocking, "After all, it's my power, isn't it, Izuku-kun?"

(He keeps calling him that and it hurts, god but it hurts.)

Like when a viciously jagged lance of ice coming straight at him impales Kacchan's side instead as he shoves Izuku out of the way.

(Damn him, they've talked about this! He wasn't supposed to ever do that again!)

Like when he stands just an arm's length from Shouto, closer than he's been in years, and his first instinct is to reach out to him and beg him to stop.

(No, no, he's not making that mistake twice. Kacchan would never forgive him.)

Like when it's finally over, when Shouto, covered in ice and ashes and blood, finally surrenders, but not without a last attack. "You realize it's all your fault, right? All the people I killed? The destruction I caused? It's all. On. You."

(And Izuku knows, god, he's always known. So he says the words that burned his mind for so many years--"I'm sorry, Shouto. I really am."--and he knocks him out with a final punch.)

Katsuki wakes up in a hospital bed. The experience is more familiar than he wishes it would be, even if it's been several years since the last time.

What's just as familiar is the body ever so carefully wrapped around his own; Katsuki pities the nurse or doctor who tried to tell Deku he couldn't get in bed with him.

Familiar, also, is the way Deku's body shakes ever so lightly, the way warm tears fall on Katsuki's shoulder.

With some effort, he raises his hand, the one connected to an IV drip, and brings it over to twist his fingers in Deku's curls. Deku keeps talking about getting his hair cut really short, or maybe getting an undercut... and Katsuki keeps finding new ways to talk him out of it.

Deku raises his head at the small touch, dislodging Katsuki's hand. He rests it on Deku's shoulder instead.

"You're an idiot," are Deku's first words to him.

Katsuki grins at him. Something pulls at the skin on his cheek; looks like he's got stitches.

"Right back at you," he says, quietly because his throat is parched. His grin fades as he asks, even more softly, "Is it over?"

Deku nods solemnly. "Yeah. It's done."

His eyes fill up with tears again. Ignoring the pain in his side, Katsuki draws him closer and holds him tight. He's never going to let go.

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foxgirlinfohazard · 1 month

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#been posting a lot about us figuring each other out here (or. rather more ME figuring THEM out lol)#cause its like. so weird#but also? feels right?#like since ive been just letting ourselves get into this things have become like. almost clear?#its. certainly Something Else lol

(my tags from droneself uwuspeak post lol, just thought they should be separate cause. yeah)

#droneself

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thejoshuaglenn-blog · 3 years

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You're a Good Boy, Charlie Brown

The key purpose of a Tumblr blog here is really a brain dump: logging thoughts, feelings, narrative and such is easier in long form than via a brief Facebook post that generates half a dozen "oh no, what happened" comments. As I'm writing this, most of it seems like bullet points and organized timelines. If you're looking for a TL;DR or current state of thoughts, it's the last section titled The Day After, and the Day After That.

A few days ago, Niko and I said goodbye to our first dog, Charlie Brown.

I'm not keen to chat about it a lot. There's more to process than I have time to type; most of it centers around being fair to myself and to Niko, taking the time to appreciate his life without beating ourselves up, and avoiding the overwhelming mire that grief can become.

Joining the Family

CB was a rescue, a hapless victim of the 2016 Louisiana floods and a happy-go-lucky participant in a "dog for a day" event hosted by a local shelter. I fully expected to rent him out for a day, give him a few great experiences, and return him. For myriad reasons, we never did bring him back to Pet Rescue by Judy, and he's been with us ever since.

At adoption, he was estimated to be around 4-8 years old. With a kicked-in shoulder that offset his collarbone and ribcage, some assorted dental issues, and other little signs of damage (cigarette burns, what the heck is wrong with people), it was tough to really gauge his age. That means he left this world at the ripe old age of something like 9-13, which isn't terrible considering all he'd been through.

Charlie Brown was the iconic good boy. He seldom barked, he never licked or jumped, and just wanted to be in the same room as his favorite people. He had a few toys that he cherished, never ripping them up, just carrying them with him from room to room and whining a bit, unsure of where he could store them for safekeeping. Apart from some separation anxiety issues and an occasional urge to bolt out the door and book it as far as he could, CB was by all accounts an easy first dog: more like a low-effort cat than anything else.

Slowly Falling Apart

Over time, the health issues increased. Intermittent but predictably regular upset tummy. Bad gums, bad teeth. Random gooey skin lesion. Eye ulcers. Since October, we've been averaging 2-3 unplanned vet visits a month — many incurring some hefty bills. We'd take out another credit card, find another financing plan, but it adds up. So does the emotional toil on the family; so does the anxiety toll on the dog.

You start to think about quality of life for the dog, you know? He'd had a few teeth removed to sew up his gums after they kinda detached and fell apart from his jawbone — so he couldn't chew anything hard. Couldn't even chew a tennis ball, which was the only toy he took interest in anymore. Couldn't have any fun treats like peanut butter or other soft chews, as his tummy would have bad flare-ups that usually ended up with him attached to an IV bag. After finally settling in and learning to play well with Atlas, Charlie Brown started to get pretty irritable whenever Atlas got frisky.

He still loved running around outdoors, and was in otherwise great health.

I can't tell you how guilty that makes me feel, even now.

Moving to Waltham

Before we left Orlando, there were so many crisis moments in emergency vet offices where Niko and I talked about how long he could ride this roller coaster. CB obviously was not a fan of vet visits: loved the staff, but was notably anxious and panicky when separated from us, and he had grown very loathe to the process of poking, prodding, and whatnot.

Shortly after moving to Waltham (he was a champ in the U-Haul), Charlie Brown had a severe colitis flare-up. He was losing so much fluid and was growing very lethargic over the day. Vets are hard to get into these days: with the sweep of "pandemic puppy" adoptions, the vet industry as a whole is saturated with demand, and practices are responding as best they can. There were just no emergency clinics available to us within 20 miles, except one that noted "we have no availability, but you can come and wait, and we might be able to see you in 4 or 5 hours." So we did.

It was a very late night. Charlie Brown came home with us with another round of the same antibiotics he'd been taking almost regularly since December for his assorted ailments, and some probiotics. The next day, CB seemed a bit better and brighter, and Niko and I went into the city for part of the day. We came home to find he'd had an accident, but it was just... blood. So so much. And he looked so in pain, so ashamed, so guilty, so anxious.

So we went back to the vet ER. It was another very late night. I didn't know how many of these late nights we could afford; neither of us knew how many of these late nights it was fair to expect Charlie Brown to endure.

Do you plan on letting a pet go after an extended crisis visit? Do you plan on letting a pet go in a time of relative peace?

Camping Analogy, and a Best Last Day

When you're off on a long hike, and you see daylight start to fade as the sun begins to set, you begin to think about finding a good place to set up camp for the night. It's abysmal to do this after the sun has already gone down: where you could have had preparation and structure, you have chaos by flashlight.

A dog's life is in your hands. You're his whole world: all food, adventure, pampering, challenge, treatment, and care come from you. More than anything, we wanted Charlie Brown to have a peaceful, restful life. Now that we started thinking about it, we wanted to be able to give him a peaceful, restful passing as well: not as the climax of another overnight crisis with injections and yelps and beeps and cowering and anxiety and fear, but in the still quiet of familiar sounds and smells.

His very last day was a great one. Fresh Pond in Cambridge: a massive stroll around a colossal lake with an absurd bounty of new smells, kind people, happy dogs, and a brisk New England breeze. He got to swim in a little side pond — that boy lived for jumping into random lakes. He ran around the broad field that is Kingsley Bowl, chasing a thrown ball the very very farthest his sad pop could throw it — and he brought it back. We bought him a steak. We told him how much he brought to our lives.

And then we waited.

Lap of Love is a sort of home delivery service of dignified passing for pets. There's more to say on that hour than I care to pen, but throughout the procedure, we never left him. Charlie Brown passed enveloped in our arms and laps and sobs and hugs.

The Day After, and the Day After That

The rest is just thoughts. Your head starts to feel like a coffee shop where your grief comes in, sits at a table with you, and unloads. You nod, listen, and wish them well. I hope I can keep processing this way — I find it helpful, and less overwhelming.

I wish he had been able to play with his tennis ball more. Since his jaw surgery — even out on Kingsley Bowl, nearly a month and a half after he should have been fully healed — any kind of chewing would cause renewed bleeding and pain.

I wish we had hugged him more. But truth be told, he didn't like hugs. They made him uncomfortable. So we gave him a hand to lay his head on, or a knee for him to pop his head upon, as often as he liked.

There were so many times I felt inconvenienced by owning a dog at all. They weren't the majority, but... now each remembered time feels like a splinter of selfishness.

I miss how familiar the back of his neck felt under my hand, just behind the ears, where the waves of fur meet and crash and make a long cowlick of foof and fluff.

His happy smile and his stressed smile were very similar, but you could still tell which was which.

I loved being there for him in thunderstorms.

When you think about it, we sort of were hospice care for him. We weren't his original owners; we just wanted the rest of his life to be painless and fulfilling. He had so many trust issues when he first came to us. And in the end, he loved anyone he met.

I miss feeling around with my feet to make sure I don't step on him on my way to bed. I miss setting my feet on the floor as I wake, stooping down, and giving his head a good squishy rub.

He never did get to see Boston snow. I mean... thousands of dogs never get to see snow. But I was really looking forward to sharing that experience with him.

I wanted so badly to bring him to a point of health, and then say goodbye when he was feeling well. Seeing him have his Best Last Day, part of me whispered "murderer" with cold accuracy, and I have a hard time shaking it. He was so happy — but between jaw bleeding after playing with a tennis ball, seeing him scratch his eyes that were starting to ache with ulcers again... I know the unbridled happiness came with the reality of his declining health.

Atlas was the best thing that ever happened to that boy. I know Charlie Brown was at least a little disgruntled that his easy-going day-to-day had been interrupted by a chompy puppy, but Atlas brought out the young pup in CB: ripping palm fronds to shreds, playing tug, playing tag, meeting new dogs with confidence and assurance.

I used to get so mad at my mother-in-law for feeding Charlie Brown cinnamon donuts. I wish I'd given him more. Heck, I wish I'd given him more peanut butter. I'm frankly surprised he hadn't died of peanut butter overdose years ago.

Where Charlie's health had limits, we kept going with Atlas. That might mean taking Atlas out to play with a ball or a tug toy, because CB couldn't. It breaks my heart now to think of Charlie at the glass door just watching it happen, all because he physically couldn't play the same. I know he didn't understand that.

We took him out to Park Ave maybe once or twice. I wish it had been more. Truth be told, it was the same as the dog park, though: he was kind of a loner. Loads of people or dogs made him anxious. So while I might idealize the past and wish he had sat at our legs for lunch after lunch at an outdoor thoroughfare, ... I think he would have been miserable. I think he would have rather just curled up at the base of the couch and dozed while we watched a show.

He was so trusting. I could just drag him onto his back and onto my lap for cuddles and a good tummy rub. No complaints.

He looked so gaunt these past few months. I keep looking at earlier photos, and I really didn't realize just how grizzly and drawn he had become lately.

I miss seeing him randomly waiting for me outside the bathroom door — or curled up on the bath mat while I was in the shower, having sneakily nosed the door open and wanting my company while I was rinsing.

For his first few years with us, he was incredibly playful. I've been going through old videos — it's like going outside just blew his mind, and toys were either for cherishing daintily, or thrashing about and throwing to oneself and gnawing. He lost that after a time. He regained it a bit when Atlas joined the party. But it still faded. I'm sure that's inevitable, but it makes me sad to see the early vibrant puppy in those old recordings, and how different he had been in recent months.

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a-trying-writer · 3 years

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[the story of no-no II. gdi, ive been dealing with writer’s block, so i basiclaly churned this out from an idea that i struggled with writing. so im sorry about how badly paced and written it is, it just feels as if i had to do this in a very basic approach compared to before, but never was content with. so yeah. ugh. i just want to wriiiite again!]

“From what I’ve been told, nothing is wrong with you physically,” said a doctor that picked me from the rest of my villagers. “However, you’re a curious case mentally speaking.”

I stared at her in silence, unsure on what to say. I also took that time to notice how striking her features are, from her strong shaped jaw, to her dark brown almond eyes, fair skin, and long black hair, kept in a ponytail. Despite how short the chair she had was, her posture was straight, making her shoulders seem rather broad. I suppose it was the pads underneath her long coat -- a common garb that doctors often wear, no matter their actual occupation, be it scientific or medical.

Her lips curled into a smile, but I couldn’t help but notice how they didn’t reach her eyes. “You don’t have to say anything, Mx. No-No. To be quite honest with you, your case is why I wanted to speak to you alone.” The doctor’s eyes darted around my room, perhaps taking in what little I had in here.

It’s strange, but for once, I felt as if my privacy was being invaded. I couldn’t help but frown at that, even though she couldn’t see my expression through my mask.

A soft, brief laugh escaped from her when she laid her eyes on me again. “The Elder told me a bit about your history. That you arrived to the village as a child with no parents. You never spoke to anyone, not even children your own age, for a few years, until you made a... well, let’s say ‘friend’, though I assume that word is not the exact definition to describe your relationship with this person. Anyway, since he was persistent in trying to get to know you, you decided enough was enough at one point, and shouted at him. Since that moment, the villagers noticed that not only could you actually speak, but that you were rather emotionally distant as time went by, and the friend never left your side, despite how often you say you’d rather be alone.”

I bit my lip. What is she trying to say, I wonder. And what’s the point in this meeting?

“It must be weird that I’m saying all this, isn’t it?” she asked, but I didn’t bother responding. “This is your personal history, anyway, and though I know of it, it’s actually none of my business.” She paused. “But, it is, you see. Well, for me anyway.”

“What do you mean?” I said out loud, without meaning to. I quickly bit my tongue, but I noticed that the doctor wasn’t exactly surprised. Instead, she crossed one of her legs over the other, as she took in a deep breath.

“The world is big and complex,” she answered. “You lived in this village for almost all your life, but the only contact of the outside world is from people like me that come and go. You never really cared about them, did you? Well, ‘care’ isn’t exactly the word for it, but for now, I’ll use it for the lack of a better term.” The doctor leaned forward a bit, with that smile still on her face. “With that in mind, I assume you don’t know the history of daemons and humans. It seems that the rest of the village isn’t aware of them either, so it might be possible for a daemon to be living among them without knowing. However, there is... something about this place that actually repels them.”

The doctor brushed her hair over her shoulder while keeping her eyes on me. I wasn’t sure what to say, except, “Continue.”

Another short laugh. “This entire village is located on a cave inside a mountain. It’s difficult to travel up here, which is why only a few selected doctors come and go from various countries, all specialized in something. Psychology, physical health, et cetera... but I’m one of the few that actually studies something a bit more... special, you could say.”

“Special?”

“Yes. Artifacts, ruins, ancient technology, and the likes. Basically, places and things that have existed for over one thousand years, that are quite mysterious, as they are dangerous.” She paused to take in another deep breath. “You work with the dead, don’t you?”

“I don’t work with them, aside from preparing the chamber for their body to be burned,” I answered, almost immediately. I don’t know what this doctor is asking about it for, but with all the things she said, I might as well poke her for information as well in return. “Why do you ask?”

For a brief second, I noticed a glimmer her eyes. Is she... happy that I spoke up?

“It’s because I noticed the words ingrained in those stone walls are similar to the ones I’ve been studying for the longest time. As I said, there is something about this place that repels daemons from this village, and I believe, if I have the proper help, I can look into this place further... and if I’m correct, you are the only one who can help me.”

“And why is that?” I asked.

The doctor’s lips parted slightly as she got up from the chair. “You and I are the same. We are apathetic people.”

I blinked. “Apathetic...?”

“There are many, many studies of humanity and our emotions, some that have been dated far before daemons came into our world. However, it’s become rather difficult to describe ourselves one way or another, so these terms have no longer been used, so we need new ones for the sake of helping people. Apathetic, cheerful, melancholy are just a few words that we choose to apply to ourselves, if we wanted to. But, of course, it doesn’t always work that way for some people, say, a violent person that kills. Given that we live among daemons however, and they can often disguise themselves as humans, it’s difficult to really say if a person is a ‘serial killer’, or just a daemon out for blood. Humans also tend to suffer under mental ailments and the likes, which is why professionals study as hard as they can to help them. But again, it tends to conflict with daemons that take on human appearances. Do you understand?”

I paused to think it over. “No... Not really. In fact, I think you confused me so much so, that I developed a headache.”

The doctor let out another laugh before shrugging. “I expected that would happen. To be honest, I’m not a doctor that specializes in those areas, so I might as well be wrong, if not a little bit incorrect. Anyway, Mx. No-No, I have things to take care of during my stay here, but I’ll definitely need to talk to you about something important in the upcoming days. I shall see you around.”

“Very well,” I simply replied. “You didn’t give me your name, by the way.”

“I did? Oh, well, pardon me, my name is Dr. Xiao Wei, but of course, Dr. Wei is the proper way to call me.”

“Of course, Doctor. Thank you.”

Dr. Wei then gave me a firm nod before she left my home through the curtains. “Enjoy your day, Mx.”

#writing stuff #im very very unhappy with this #so please dont reblog!#but i always appreciate a like!#i just hope to break through my writer's block soon!

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flutteringphalanges · 3 years

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Summary: It is public knowledge that Zoe Van Helsing is the last of her blood line. Not to mention that, in a sense, Count Dracula is too. However, after an unexpected night of passion, both their lives dramatically change when Zoe becomes pregnant. Two unconventional parents, one extraordinary pregnancy. What could go wrong?

Rating: M

Pairings: Zoe Van Helsing/Dracula implied Agatha/Dracula

Read on FFN and AO3

A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter! Feedback is greatly loved and appreciated! Love you all! -Jen

Chapter Eight

It was the blaring of a car horn that brought Zoe back to reality. Her head was spinning as she blinked wearily around, trying to gauge her surroundings. The events that led to this moment had yet to resurface as she realized that she was oddly strapped into the backseat of someone’s car. Trying to sit up, the doctor squinted at the tall figure who sat almost hunched in the driver’s seat. It was dark and the heat was blasting at an ungodly, uncomfortably high level. Where was she and what the hell was going on?

“La naiba!” The familiar voice hissed, hitting the steering wheel hard. “Ticăloși englezi!”

Zoe’s brows knitted together as she eyed what was causing such a fuss. The red glow of a light. A stop light. They were stuck in traffic. Fighting her dizziness, she managed to prop herself up on one of her elbows. When the back seat creaked in response, the man suddenly whipped his head around. Dracula. He frowned deeply, his expression almost frightening. Try as she might, the doctor couldn’t discern the vampire’s current emotion. Whatever the case, he was less than thrilled.

“Stop moving and just stay still.” He finally spoke authoritatively. “We’ll be at the hospital in just a few minutes if all of these damn cars get out of the way!” He slammed his fist against the wheel and Zoe could almost swore she heard something crack. “Lay back down.”

“Hospital?” She mumbled, brows knitting in confusion as she tried to piece together what happened. When she suddenly remembered, her stomach sunk. The pain was indeed gone, but she felt nothing. Was she supposed to feel something? “I fainted…”

“You’ve been out cold for over five minutes.” Dracula replied, faint anxiety lacing his tone. “I didn’t trust the emergency medical services to get to the Foundation fast enough. It seemed only fitting I do so myself.” When the light turned green, the vampire hit the pedal hard causing the car to lurch. “What happened?! Are you in any pain?! I don’t smell blood. But I’m not writing anything off simply because of that.”

Being bombarded with the man’s questions only aided in her growing headache. Not to mention she wasn’t fond of his probable “well intended” kidnapping. She placed a hand on her stomach and focused hard. How she wished they were big enough to where she could be put at ease feeling them move. But he smelled no blood and she didn’t feel wet. Weren’t those obvious signs of miscarriage? If she had only experienced pain, maybe…

“I feel fine.” She managed to muster out a reply. Surprised by how weary her voice sounded. “Just...out of it.”

“Evidently.” Dracula muttered, rolling his eyes. “Were you feeling ill at all today? Did something happen at your oncology appointment? I knew I should have had Frank gather intel--”

“Intel?!” Zoe said, her voice suddenly gaining volume. “How...you’re having your dotting lawyer follow my every move now?!” She attempted to sit up, but the motion made her nauseated. “You and I have an agreement, but that doesn’t extend to you spying on my every move!”

“Technically, you’re keeping tabs on me.” The vampire shrugged. “And I’m only concerned in the well being of yo…” He paused, lips pressing into a firm line. “I’m just taking an interest in the safety of my children and their development.”

“Oh, I assure you.” Zoe snapped as they pulled into the mostly empty parking lot. “When it comes to them, I take everything into account!”

“Well if that were the case, maybe we wouldn’t be here.” Dracula said coldly, taking a parking space close to the building. “Stay here while I get you a wheelchair. Try to walk, and I’ll carry you inside. Your choice.”

The doctor’s jaw dropped as the Count stepped out of the vehicle and slammed the door shut. Unbuckling herself, Zoe’s eyes watched as the glare from the street lights lit up his figure as he walked towards the hospital. Even though she knew it was him, it still was a little eerie. His size was intimidating. Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if the babies would inherit that. That was, if they were still okay to begin with.

“At least you came to your senses and decided to wait.”

Zoe jumped in surprise at the sound of Dracula’s voice. Apparently, her mind had wandered far enough to where she hadn’t even realized his return. Reluctantly, she allowed him to help her into the wheelchair. Perhaps in any other circumstance, this display of obedience would’ve amused the Count. Yet right now, he felt anything but.

“If you’re not going to let me get up, at least take my license and insurance card to the front desk and sign me in.” The scientist frowned from their position in the lobby. “And don’t threaten anyone to get me seen faster. If you get kicked out, I’m not going to argue your case to get you back in.”

“No one could remove me from the premises if they tried.” And for the first time since she awoke, a flicker of a smirk crossed his features. “Public places don’t require invitations.”

“That’s a real pity.” She snorted, folding her arms over her chest. “I would’ve liked to see what would happen if they did. Would you burst into flames if you weren’t fast enough? Fly backwards…?”

Dracula gave her a lopsided sneer before taking a hold of her identification cards. Zoe watched him from afar, her hands now resting on her stomach. The longer she sat there in the clinic, the more concerned she began to grow. Before she had tried to push the worry aside, but now it felt real. She sucked in a breath as Dracula approached, her cards in one hand and a hospital bracelet in another.

“Hold out your wrist.” The vampire said, undoing the sticky side of the band. “They’re going to bring you back in a minute.” When Zoe opened her mouth, Dracula rolled his eyes. “I didn’t threaten them. Based on your medical history and symptoms, they want to get you checked out sooner rather than later. And,” he added lightheartedly. “It just happens to be a slow night. Just our luck.”

“Right…” She pursed her lips. “Luck.”

There was something unsettling being in the emergency ward at night. As she was strapped up to machines, an IV placed into her arm, Zoe found herself staring up at the ceiling trying to count the many tiny holes in the tiles. She could feel Dracula watching her from his seat. But much to her relief, he didn’t say anything. When the doctor entered the room--not her usual one, accompanied by a very tired looking resident luggy an ultrasound machine, they both perked up.

“Dr. Sahli.” The man smiled, reaching out to shake both of their hands. “I hear you had some concerns about your pregnancy?”

“Yes.” Dracula cut in before Zoe could. “There was an incident at work. She fainted for a few minutes.” His eyes flickered onto the scientist. “I thought it best we come here due to the circumstances.”

“I see.” The doctor nodded, beginning to set up the equipment. “I’ve pulled up your file, Dr. Van Helsing. I think you made a good call coming in.” He muttered something to the resident that Zoe couldn’t pick up. “Any other symptoms besides the fainting?”

“Just sharp pain.” Zoe admitted, inhaling as her abdomen was exposed. “That’s gone away, but the dizziness is still there.” She stiffened as the gel was squeezed onto her stomach, eyes unable to meet Dracula’s. “Do you think...something could be wrong?”

“Let’s not try to get ahead of ourselves and worry.” The older man smiled, placing the probe against her skin. Carefully, he began to move it around until the most reassuring sound in the world filled Zoe’s ears. Heartbeats. “Just what I was looking for.”

The scientist watched in awe as the two little humanoid beings moved about on the screen. At times, she almost swore they were kicking each other. She yearned for the moment where she could feel the movements back. But there they were. Wiggling. Alive. Still blissfully unaware of the world outside.

“I don’t see any fetal distress and amniotic fluid levels look fine…” Dr. Sahli mumbled, panning across the monitor. “I’d say this was nothing more than a scare. But based on your high risk pregnancy, I’d like to run some tests and keep you overnight.” The man stated, setting the probe down. “Overexertion and dehydration could have some part in what happened. I just want to make sure everything is fit as a fiddle before sending you off.”

“Am I allowed to stay with her?” Dracula inquired, Zoe throwing him a glare. “I am the father.”

“I don’t see why not.” The innocent doctor smiled, not noticing the furious stare the expectant mother was giving the vampire. “I’ll let the nurses’ station know once we get Dr. Van Helsing settled.”

“Oh, and one more thing.” The Count said, causing both the doctor and resident to glance up. “Is it too much to request a room without windows? I have rather sensitive skin, a rare condition, and I think Zoe will rest better with less light anyway.” He gave a wide smile. “I’d much appreciate it.”

XXX

“I don’t want to be here.” Zoe grimaced from her hospital bed. “And I don’t like you being here.”

“You’ve expressed that several times now.” Dracula sighed, flipping the page of the magazine he was reading. Family Life. She recognized the title from her visits to the doctor. Cast aside on some table with the hopes that someone would pick it up for a peek. “But as I have clearly stated each time, I have no plans to go anywhere. I’m staying put.”

“I need to tell Jack what’s going on and let him know I won’t be in tomorrow.” She sighed, running a hand through her hair. “And somehow explain that you won’t be. Not to mention that somehow someone is going to have to bring my work to me.”

“You will be doing no such thing until you’re cleared by a professional.” The vampire replied coolly. “The doctor said you need to take things easy. While I find science positively fascinating, you scrutinizing over papers about lab work you can’t actually go in and physically see doesn’t excite me. You’ll only stress yourself further by fixating on what’s out of your hands.”

“Since when did you become a psychologist?” The scientist snorted, looking bemused at the vampire. “And a simple laptop would suffice for me to do what I need. I’d just need the proper clearance to gain access to the files and contact the laboratory for a digital copy of the test results…” The more that she thought about it, the further she realized how tedious this all was. “I just need my work computer. That’s all.”

Dracula stared at her for a long moment, his dark eyes fixed on her face. Then, without a word, he picked his magazine back up and started flipping through it again. It was as if their previous argument had never occurred. In retaliation, Zoe beamed an empty, plastic cup in his general direction. Without even looking up, the vampire gracefully dodged her attack.

“I should have never told you I was pregnant in the first place.” She grumbled, glowering as he seemingly ignored her. “Then I wouldn’t have to put up with any of this.”

“I would have found out eventually.” The vampire shrugged, still focused on one of the colorful pages. “I have a way of discovering secrets. A talent if you will. You learn as much when it comes to yourself.” The corners of his lips twitched into a small smirk. “We all have skeletons in the closet, Dr. Van Helsing.”

“And yours are supposed to be released from their confines!” Zoe shot back. “We have a legal binding contract to work together, and I don’t like games.” She folded her arms over her chest. “Especially right now.”

“Your great, great aunt would be so disappointed.” The Count chuckled. “She was rather talented at chess...well, in her mind.”

The scientist stiffened at the mention of Agatha. In a way, she felt as if saying the name would summon a demon. Or a ghost to say the very least. Glancing around quickly to make sure they were still alone, she turned back just in time to notice Dracula eyeing her oddly.

“Are you alright?” He inquired, any reminences of mocking having left his tone. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Fine.” She answered curtly. “Just tired.”

“Then try to sleep.” Dracula suggested, setting the magazine aside. “There’s no telling when your lab results will come back and the time of your discharge. You might as well rest as well as you can.” He paused, before adding. “If anything, sleeping will make the time seem to go by faster.”

“Am I to assume you’re just going to sit there and watch me the whole time?” Zoe inquired, her tone unpleasant. “That is possibly the least relaxing thing you can do for me right now."

"You won't even know I'm here." The vampire assured her as he readjusted his position. "Besides, I think you'd prefer I stay here with you rather than roam the halls of this fine establishment." He gestured to the air. "Who knows what smells might capture my attention. Why, if I remember correctly, I do believe we are over an operating theater. Surgical procedures can be rather bloody…"

Zoe narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

Dracula gave her fake, sheepish grin. "...Well now, knowing what I can and can't do, I suppose there is no harm or foul taking a quick trip to the blood bank. Technically I wouldn't be harming anyone so there goes any concern for breaching my contract."

"I should've let them destroy the house with you in it when I had the chance." Zoe spoke, fingers digging into the thin fabric of the blanket. "Fine. Be that way if you really are so desperate."

"Oh, there is no desperation." Dracula said with a content smile over his victory. "Just...well intentions…"

"Bite me." The scientist grumbled, letting her head fall onto her pillow.

"Not something I would advise you to say to a vampire." Dracula chuckled, his attention now on a new magazine. "Goodnight, Zoe. Get some rest."

If it weren’t for the twins and today’s exhausting events, Zoe would’ve tried her hardest to retaliate against the Count’s insistence. But her body betrayed her. The tendrils of sleep wrapped around her in a vice like grip.

No longer could the good scientist fight it as she found herself pulled down into the deep, dark abyss of unconsciousness. So far gone that not even her dreams could reach her. A place lost to her mind. A place lost to her. Only uninterrupted slumber. Something she truly needed.

XXX

Uninterrupted. If one considered a few hours of shut eye that. Zoe awoke to the sound of two people quietly talking--which clearly wasn’t soft enough as it woke her up. Blinking back sleep, she made out Dracula standing in the doorway speaking to Dr. Sahli. The vampire’s expression was unusually serious, similar to that of someone trying to absorb a lot of information at once. She noted the file folder in the doctor’s hand, the papers waving inside whenever the man made a gesture.

“So everything came back normal?” Dracula asked slowly. “No abnormalities?”

“None.” The doctor reassured him. “We ran multiple tests. It isn’t the cancer or something else. Just as I explained earlier, I think that after ruling everything else out, we can safely assume that what happened to Dr. Van Helsing was as simple as dehydration and overexertion. Does her job have a tendency to be stressful?”

“Only when she makes it that way.” The vampire replied, rolling his eyes. “So they’re all healthy? Her and the twins?” Even though Zoe was pretending to be asleep, she could feel Dracula’s gaze on her. “These are unusual circumstances.” And he wasn’t referring to her cancer or other risk factors. “Both babies are well?”

“Perfectly fine.” The doctor smiled. “I took the liberty of taking a few extra tests just to confirm. One I noticed hadn’t been done on her files was NIPT--a noninvasive prenatal testing. Since she’s high risk, I wanted to just check a few things out…” He paused. “There were a few things I noticed though.”

Dracula frowned. “I thought you said everything was fine?”

“It is, it is.” The doctor said, gesturing with his hands. “Just some of their genetics...well, they were a little odd. But nothing that seemed amiss. I could do further testing, put in an order for her to have an amniocentesis procedure done in a few weeks. But that carries some risks. And while I didn’t go into depth, nothing I saw was linked to any known diseases or disorders.”

The vampire nodded his head thoughtfully, processing every word the man said. After hearing the doctor speak about the twins’ DNA, Zoe decided it was time that she woke up. Forcing a yawn, she propped herself up in the bed. Both men turned to face her, the doctor looking rather surprised while Dracula seemed unimpressed. Evidently she wasn’t as good at playing pretend as she thought.

“I’m sorry if we woke you, Dr. Van Helsing.” The doctor apologized. “I was just discussing with your husband--”

“We’re not married.” She interrupted quickly. “Anyway, if these are my results, I’d like to be the one to hear them first hand.”

“Right. My apologies.” The man nodded, moving over to her bedside. Like the leech he was, Dracula followed close behind. “I’m not sure how much you heard, but all your test results came back clean. I ran some extra labs and saw some unusual genetic...well, I’m not sure what you’d call it. But it doesn’t seem to be anything harmful. I offered to run more tests--”

“That won’t be necessary.” Zoe said curtly, eyeing the folder as if she planned to snatch it at any given moment. “But if I could have a copy of the file, I’d much appreciate it.”

If there was an oddity in her children’s genetics, it wasn’t anything any medical professional would know about. Vampire DNA hadn’t been written into any textbooks. Zoe wasn’t concerned about them having a condition from these unknown markers. No. She needed to know what she was dealing with. What they had apparently inherited from Dracula.

“I can have one made.” Dr. Sahli promised. “...There was one other thing I was able to take a look at if you had any interest?” Dracula and Zoe looked at each other before the doctor continued. “I was able to determine your twins’ gender.”

Zoe looked taken aback. “This early? I didn’t think it was possible.”

“Well, when I ran the NIPT, it allows you to determine the gender based on what DNA found in the bloodstream. Or rather, their DNA found in Dr. Van Helsing’s blood. It’s more complex than it sounds, but that’s besides the point.” He smiled at the two wholeheartedly. “Are you interested to hear?”

Dracula and Zoe looked at each other once again. For the first time, it almost seemed as if the vampire was waiting to hear her opinion. She was tired, but Zoe felt a sense of eagerness begin to bubble up in her stomach.

“I suppose if you have them.” She said after a moment.

Dr. Sahli grinned. “Then, in that case.” He glanced from one parent to the other. “I’m pleased to inform you that you’re expecting boys.” The doctor chuckled, shaking his head. “And identical ones at that. Quite a handful indeed.”

And then, like a tsunami, a new wave of emotion hit her.

Anxiety.

Identical twin boys.

Two babies with unidentifiable genetic traits gifted to them by their vampire father.

Oh God.

#Dracula 2020 #Dracula #BBC Dracula #Zoe Van Helsing #Zoe x Dracula #Gemini

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mousehole5000 · 3 years

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this is it... the final post.... 226 through THE END!!!!!

this shit with mu qing and the river of lava is SOOOO dramatic im loving it

oh my god theyre on a FUCKING bridge of course they are okay let’s go boys

“You’re right. We’re alike. You think me odd, I think you to be rather weird too.” - so what im getting from this is that xie lian and mu qing are the only characters in this book with working gaydar okay yup got it this checks out

god... the fact that xie lian is ready to be like “look mu qing we can just forget about the past it doesnt matter we dont have to be friends i know you dont like me but im not gonna let you die over it” and then mu qing is like “.... god i really do admire you huh”

“You...certainly...are rather amazing. You’re...also...a better person...than me. Long story short, I...very much wanted...to become your f-f-friend.” - going to think about this for the rest of all time im about to become utterly unintelligible im overcome with emotions

“And, at the end of the white silk band, Feng Xin was gripping Ruoye with one hand while the other was holding on to a steel-faced Mu Qing, and he shouted towards him.” - the fucking IMAGE of this im gonna cry this is everything i could have asked for im so happy also mu qing dangling there like “ welp. guess ill live“

“Feng Xin was almost burnt by that pillar of fire, and he shouted in outrage. “WHAT’S WITH THIS BAND OF DOG SHITS, ATTACKING PEOPLE WHILE THEY’RE DOWN, SO VILE! FUCK YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY!” Xie Lian responded, “IF THEIR ENTIRE FAMILIES ALL LOOK LIKE THAT, YOU SURE YOU WANT TO FUCK THEM??” - theyre so funny!!! and theyre best friends!!! theyre joking together now in the middle of all this i could cry theyre back!!!

“Using sticks as arrows, he held the bow with one hand and used his teeth to bite back the bowstring.” - no clue how practical this is but okay archer boy. hot

i actually have so many little quips between the three of them highlighted but we’d be here all night if i included them all. im literally so delighted by this omg worth the wait

“Each sabre strike slashed to the bone. It wasn’t like Xie Lian had never seen Hua Cheng use the sabre before in the past, but his style had always been easy and leisurely, nonchalant and casual. Rather than say he was handling a weapon, it was more like he was toying with a small knife. Yet those blade marks were filled with killing intent. It was easy to imagine just how skilled the one exchanging blows with him was, and how perilous this battle.” you have no idea how mad i was when i read this and thought we missed witnessing the fight between hc and jw omg

“Behind him, Feng Xin muttered, “Dear fucking god, may all the gods and buddhas grant their blessings, that better absolutely be Crimson Rain Sought Flower, otherwise he’s gonna go mad!” “Stop your rubbish,” Mu Qing berated. “We’re all the gods and buddhas ourselves and we can’t grant shit, just keep up with him! Look at the stumbling way he’s running, he’s gonna trip and fall to his bloody death before he even sees the man!” - okay i know i said no more quips but this is literally too funny i just wanted to read it again

“ However, for whatever reason, that vicious ghost, in its muddled state, took that large group of live mortals under its wing and fled for many days. In the end, they were still surrounded by millions of ghosts, trapped in a dead end, and it was going to be eaten along with those humans.” [...] “That vicious ghost almost made a move against those humans, but for some reason, in the end, it didn’t. It instead used one of its own eyes as the price to forge a blood weapon. That vicious ghost was already forcibly hanging on with its last breath; after digging out its eye it should’ve broken apart completely. Yet somehow something had shocked it, and it instead woke to its senses completely. “ - THIS IS AMAZING ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THIS ALL WE GET ABOUT HIS GHOSTLY LORE?????? HUA CHENGGGGGGGG

“What a terrible offence, his old habit had come out, and he quickly apologized. “I’m sorry! You don’t have to listen to me!” Hua Cheng, however, only smiled happily. “Everything gege tells me is the best advice, so why wouldn’t I listen?” - this isnt the fucking time afjdkfjsdkl they really never stop

“So you can hold the illusion of a perfect Crown Prince of Wuyong to face and dismiss the Jun Wu now. Isn’t that your objective? Did you think I don’t know what you’re thinking?” “THAT’S NOT IT!” Guoshi cried. “Stop getting tied up in right and wrong, victories and defeat, I’VE NEVER THOUGHT THAT WAY BEFORE!” - jun wu only being able to see xie lian as his successor and believing that thats all anyone else sees too... okay

honestly this whole final showdown was a blast i cant put everything in but it was so much fun to read. the DRAMA the LAVA the SHOUTING t

“Hua Cheng had poured too much spiritual power into him. There really was too much, so much that it was completely outside the amount the cursed shackle could withstand.” - okay.... okay... the love you give will set you free... okay....

“With Jun Wu in his grip, he carried both their bodies and forcefully slammed into the incomparably-solid rock wall! He used all of his power in this smash, and in the rumbling and crashing of rocks, he also heard the sound of something breaking.” [...] “A moment later, Jun Wu suddenly asked, “That move. What is it called?” “...” Xie Lian raised his sleeve and wiped away the blood on the side of his face. “Shattering boulders on the chest.” YES!!!!! YES!!!!! xie lian actually lived that life!!!!!! i loved this detail so much

“After a moment of silence, Xie Lian took off the bamboo hat carried on his back, took it in his hand, and covered it over Jun Wu’s face.” - xie lian... good... another detail i love. a hat that protects from the rain, given in a moment of need, even to someone who has caused you hardship... we do not forget the kindness granted to us

“There was gratefulness, there was shame, there was heartache, there was wild joy, but above all else, there was incurable love.” - :pleading: i wish it was just that easy tbh. “i have to tell you about the worst parts of myself” “ive already seen them and i dont care i still love you“ truly the dream

“ It’s been so long since anyone listened to me talk, won’t you stay? Don’t...actually do this. I won’t be able to take it. Twice, it’s been twice already! I really don’t want there to be a third time!!!” - the bit about just wanting someone to listen to him talk... xie lian... :(

emily corpse bride moment.... i knew it had to happen.... butterflies.... death and rebirth.... inevitable

xianle trio bickering about ruoye..... mu qing complaining but not letting anyone else fix it... im so happy

“The Rain Master sat down on the spot, looking like she was going to perform a passing service for her. After all, Xuan Ji was the only one left of the Kingdom of Yushi besides herself.” - xuan ji you sure the hell were... a character. this little moment tho..... yushi huang... many thoughts

“ Who hasn’t made promises, or swore to the mountains and the seas when they were young? Talking of affection, of love, of forevers. But, the longer I hang around in the world, the more I understand, something like ‘forever’ is impossible. It’s never going to be possible. Having it once was already good enough. No one can truly achieve it. I don’t believe in it anymore.” - jian lan im happy for you bummer it didnt work out with feng xin but yeah that was looooong ago. also this quote me same mood kin but its chill. having it once was already good enough

although yeah tbh if theres anyone who can have a forever like that... it would be a ghost and a god

fasdfjadklfj GOD... pour one out for ling wen.. but is that not the truth of this world? the one can be pardoned for being good at paperwork that no one else wants to do? isnt that the plot of the shawshank redemption?

okay but the fact that all xie lian’s friends come to visit him while he waits for hua cheng is making me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.... fengqing coming together to try to get him out of the house but get scared off by his cooking... amazing

“Last time, they spent eight hundred years running towards each other. This time, it only took an instant to fall into each other’s embrace.” - im completely unaffected by this. im not lying i swear (i am lying im very emotionally affected)

okay i love this final wrap up chapter party its so fun. mu qing moving on from the broom thing!!! good for him!! the beggars get their reward!!! the fun ghost city chefs!! SQX!!!! and he xuan is?? here too??? he’s hungry??? fjadlkfjsdl

“The grounds that Feng Xin and Mu Qing had just swept were once again filthy from that giant crowd of muddy feet. Mu Qing gripped his broom, looking like he felt someone had infected him with fleas, and his eyes were wide.” - me when my dad comes into the kitchen when ive just finished washing dishes i get it king

the little folklore bit... fun!!! oh my god its over..... :(

that was really fun i had a blast reading it and on the whole really liked it i WISH soo badly that hua cheng had gotten more outside of being cunty and devoted even tho those are both important i just wish there was more about like how he got by during those 800 years and like did he ever have doubts? what shaped his worldview was it all xie lian or was it his experience as a mortal as well? why is he so mean to e’ming? theres bits and pieces here and there and i know it was already SO long but that really would have been great if there was more about hc cuz tbh by the end, at least for me, the hualian relationship didnt actually feel as fleshed out as the xianle trio relationship like i still liked hualian’s dynamic and it was really sweet how much they clearly really liked each other and everything but i kind of wish some of the other subplots had been dropped or diminished in favor of more hc development i think that would have been cool

but anyway thats some of my thoughts and i really did enjoy the hell out of book 5 that was a riot and uhhh thanks to everyone who read these or commented *lends you spiritual energy through a high five*

#tgcf liveblog #it is Complete i can move on now #i actually have a lot more thoughts about hl because i uhhhh relate. to things. and have opinions due to my experiences #but its also quite Personal soooo i might just keep them tucked away #anyway im freeeeeee #mouse mumbles

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mymindsmadness · 4 years

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Why I hate seeing the Uchiha logo on Sakura’s shirt/why I don’t ship SasuSaku

DISCLAIMER: I’m not shitting on anyone’s ship. I get it. You love them. You do you booboo, I’m just here to speak my truth. Don’t come at me with comments shitting all over the things I love. You have your opinion and I have mine.

If you are a SasuSaku shipper and you read past this point, you have no one but yourself to blame for your anger!

I’m probably gonna rant a bit, so I’ll start with the bottom line. Sakura and Sasuke’s relationship is one of the most toxic relationships I’ve ever seen.

Unrelated (but kind of related): All the female character are written pretty shitty, and that adds to this whole mess.

Part I [Young Love]:

Okay. I get it. She’s all for Sasuke and he doesn’t give her the time of day. We love a queen that gets hers in the end. The problem is that Sakura’s core personality traits are based off of her obsession. Her wants. Her flaws. Her essence as a [non] person is completely defined by Sasuke’s character. This is even verified when Kakashi asks them about themselves and Sakura literally gives [giggles] Sasuke for every answer.

When they’re tested with the bells, Sakura shows no ninja prowess whatsoever. She shows no skill beyond hiding in a bush. The only time we really see her moving/thinking/talking, is when it’s to ‘rescue Sasuke’. She even refers to him as ‘my Sasuke’ a dozen or so times. Seriously, it could be a drinking game.

During the chunin exams, we see a little more of a backbone from Sakura. But even as she struggles to make herself be seen, she really only wants to be seen by – you guessed it – Sasuke.

When Sasuke gets extra angsty [YOLO style], and tries to leave the village, Sakura tries to go with him. Think about that. Sakura tries to leave the village. Her home. Her family. Her friends. Everything! She does this because the idea of becoming a criminal is more appealing than being left behind by Sasuke.

But you know what? I’ll excuse it. She’s only thirteen at this point. She’s entitled to make stupid choices in the name of puppy love. We’ve all been there, man. And sure, at thirteen all love feels like true love. You know what girl? I forgive you.

Part II [Personal Growth]

At this point, Sakura’s whole character arch is defined by the people that leave her. And I could forgive this – almost. Enter Tsunade. I love Tsunade. I worship Tsunade. She is probably the one female character in the whole show that is as well integrated as the men [if we ignore the fact that her whole backstory is revolved around them]. When Sakura started training with Tsunade, I knew there was about to be an Eye of the Tiger montage. Sure enough, my girl comes through. Come Shippuden, Sakura is kicking ass and taking names [literally]. Better yet, she found her niche in medical ninjutsu [insert joke about how females always play the healers]. She’s got chakra for days and the control of a saint. Piss my girl off? You ‘bout to lose a lung.

Yes, Sakura’s still insecure when it comes to her place among the others, but can we blame her? She had demi-gods as teammates. But it’s different now. Sakura knows she’s a badass. She’s fully aware that her control and strength are something to be proud of. She uses those years of neglect and training to help her comrades!... and chase down Sasuke.

By the beginning of the 4th war, this bitch has lost her damn mind. At this point, Sakura and Naruto have been searching for Sasuke for the last 3 [or so] years. All this time, Sakura is under the impression that she’s in love with him. The times from when Sasuke left to the end of the war, are some of the most defining years in a person’s life. At 13-17 is when a person’s personality really starts to develop and lay out the foundation for the adult they will be.

Part III [All’s Fair]

Now, I’m not saying that Sakura didn’t hold a certain level of love for Sasuke her whole life. It’s very possible. However, there was no way it could be a romantic love. Think about who you were when you were twelve. Now think about who you were at seventeen. Did anything change in that time?

Sakura could not have been in love with Sasuke because she didn’t know who he was. They hadn’t been in contact in years! She had the memory of who he had been on a pedestal, and without him around to alter that image, it became more and more idyllic. By the time Sasuke returned [at the end of the war], Sakura was still in love with the idea of him.

She had put their relationship and romance in the forefront of her mind all of her life. It had been her driving force and defining mindset. When this crazy ass bitch [ily gurl] activated her seal and literally jumped on a pike for her boys, it was the most badass thing she’d ever done. And when she was done with that? She got upset that Sasuke hadn’t noticed/cared. She was fighting for her friends, her family, her village, her life… and all that confidence she had gained was brought down by the fact that the boy she thought she loved didn’t notice.

Part IV [In Which Sasuke Cares… Allegedly]

Remember when Sakura finally got Sasuke to notice her? When he overcame his terminal broodiness and admitted that he was touched that she never gave up hope in him? When he kissed her goodbye with the promise of returning and being worth all of her unfounded love and attention?

Oh… right… that never happened.

I mean… he tapped her forehead like Itachi did to him that one time… Same thing I suppose.

Okay, okay… I might be being a little harsh. I’ll concede that it is a genuine act of affection for Sasuke. But… a minor one. Alright, our broody boi doesn’t like PDA… Still, we’re given no indication that they talked about their feelings before this goodbye. That’s backed up by the fact that she asks to go with him – something she would have done before now if they had. Legit, Naruto got more of a goodbye than Sakura did [two dudes, chillin’ in the woods].

To the best of everyone’s knowledge, Sasuke only stayed in Konoha for about a year after the war. Now, depending if you follow the manga or anime, some of that time might have been in jail. My point is, that a year or less was spent in the village after several years of Sakura loving him from a distance.

At this point, she very well might have learned about the older Sasuke. She might have decided that she did still love him [doubtful on a realistic level]. But then he leaves. We’re not sure for how long, but if we look at Boruto, it’s common for him to leave for long periods of time.

Once again, Sakura is left behind with her memories of the man she thinks she loves [because without a functioning adult relationship, there’s no way to be sure].

Part V [Sakura Achieves Her Nightmare Dreams]

Let’s step into Boruto for this next part. We flash forward to all of our beloved characters in their adult years. I know what you’re thinking ‘Oh! I’ve missed so much! They’re all so grown up!’. Hahaha, don’t worry. They’re not at all the same people.

Since the series is based on the children, we’re forced to fill in some of the blanks ourselves. Sakura – the best medic nin in Konoha. The woman whose strength rivals that of her mentor’s. The woman who mastered the Seal of 100. The woman who grew into her own as a character, even if the driving force was a boy - is living her best life as… a housewife? I mean... maybe?

We don’t know this for sure, and a lot of us hope she runs the hospital or something [because we want all good things for our girl], but have you noticed that she doesn’t wear a headband? A ninja one that is. The girl who worked hard to not be left behind’s whole adulthood is… the woman left behind.

Even if it can be argued that she achieved her goal… has she? Yes, she wanted to be Sasuke’s wife and baby mama since waaaaay too young of an age to be thinking about that shit, but like this? We know from the fact that Sakura fainted when Sasuke came home that he’s rarely there. This means that she probably raised their daughter alone. Even now, she can’t just leave because Sasuke’s always away.

If you think I’m taking libraries with filling in the gaps, I refer you to that one time her daughter basically asked if they were really married. And if you think I’m exaggerating Sasuke’s absence, I refer you to that time he almost killed his fucking daughter because he didn’t know what she looked like!

Let that sink in.

Part VI [In Summation]

Sakura was a girl that grew up with a false ideal of love. She obsessed over a person that didn’t exist and carried that falsehood into her adult life. When presented with everything she thought she had wanted her whole life, Sakura jumped on the chance because it was the logical move. In gaining everything that she thought she wanted, Sakura lost any personal growth that she had gained by the absence of her obsession aka Sasuke.

Sasuke, who had ignored her as a child, tried to kill her as a teen, and barely acknowledged her beyond using her to revive his clan, can’t be bothered to even appreciate her. Even as he leaves again as an adult, he says goodbye to their daughter [again, with an oh-so-affectionate poke], but simply walks away from Sakura.

The truth is that given the way she blushes and faints around him still, Sakura doesn’t know him. She’s still in love with an idea of the man that grew from the boy she had been obsessed with all her life. She wears the Uchiha symbol on her back as a reminder that she did it. She got the guy! True love wins again! I mean… maybe? He’s fucked her at least, so…

There’s a chance that Sasuke loves Sakura. I think he loves her for loving him. At the very least, we know he’s fond of her… I assume.

Sakura was a character that was used to further the plot of a man. Even as an adult, she’s left to sit and pine as the boys go off on their adventures. She’s a woman that’s stuck in a hell of her own creation – even if she loves her daughter and the things that marrying Sasuke has brought her.

There’s ‘getting the guy’ and being trapped in a toxic idealized relationship. How you choose to see this one is up to you.

#anti sasusaku #naruto #sasuke uchiha #sakura haruno #my opinion #rant #toxic relationship

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dbzebra · 4 years

Text

Surpassing the Strongest

Im back on Marten bs lol

This is something Ive wanted to do for a while now. A 28th World Tournament / End of Z retelling, which focuses on Goten’s plans to follow in his fathers footsteps like Goku originally planned back in the Buu Saga. Ignores DBS obviously. Anyway this is just a oneshot for now but may possibly make it into a longfic.

Enjoy!!

May, Age 784.

Ten years of peace had passed since Majin Buu's defeat.

The cool spring air blew in from an open window of Orange Star High School. Son Goten was lost in thought as the lecture droned on from in front of him. He couldn't hear what the teacher was saying. Rather, he didn't really care. He wanted to be outside and enjoying the day. Flying around or out on a date.

Ya know, something that was actually fun.

Something, anything but being cooped up in a stuffy building all day on such a nice afternoon. If Goten closed his eyes, he could feel himself soaring through the clouds on the Flying Nimbus, the wind in his hair and the whole world below him. Ever since he learned to fly, it's been his absolute favorite thing to do.

"Man, I wanna go to the beach!" Goten whined to himself and continued daydreaming about the endless possibilities of summer fun when he heard two kids whispering from the back of the classroom that piqued his attention. Super sensitive hearing really came in handy sometimes!

"Did you hear? Mr. Satan won't be participating in the World Martial Arts Tournament next week. He announced his retirement yesterday."

"What, really?! Maybe I should enter then. Now I'll actually stand a chance."

"Noooo! Mr. Satan can't retire!" Another kid chimed in, slamming his fists down on his desk in despair. "He's my hero! The strongest guy in the whole universe!"

"It's true man. I saw it on TV. He's all bald now too. Mr. Buu is gonna sweep with him gone. He's unbeatable next to Mr. Satan!"

"Awww… Yeah, you're right. Buu is unstoppable! He's never even been touched in a fight once!"

Goten snickered to himself. If only they knew the truth. "Speak for yourself. Me and Trunks almost beat him when we were fused together!"

The more Goten thought about it, the more it intrigued him.

He always loved the World Tournament, ever since he was a kid. Growing up, Goten loved hearing stories from his dad, Yamcha and Krillin about their fights from the old days. He collected all tons of World Tournament merchandise over the years, most notably of which were figures of every finalist leading back to the very first Tournament. The premium edition figurine of his father as a teenager during the 23rd Tournament was his most prized possession. He had to send in like one hundred postcards to a sweepstakes to win. The day he got the letter in the mail saying that he won, he almost flipped.

The news of the upcoming Tournament re-ignited a fire in the young Saiyan.

"Maybe I should enter! I'll run it by Mar later..."

__________________________________________________________

The final bell rang as class was let out for the day.

Goten stretched his arms out wide upon walking out the front doors of Orange Star High with an extra pip in his step. It was finally the weekend!

He spotted his girlfriend leaning against one of the pillars at the front gate, sporting her signature twintails. She was waiting for him! He grinned and picked up his pace a little bit. Marron twirled a strand of blonde hair in her fingers as she absent-mindedly watched a capsule-plane go by from above.

Being a sophomore, sixteen yer old Marron was on the cheer squad and wrote for the school newspaper. Like most girls her age, Marron loved shopping, but her true passion was writing. It all started when she used to read fantasy books and write in her diary as a little girl. She hoped to work for a big fashion designer as a writer when she got older.

"Hey there, gorgeous." Goten said while he snuck up behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

Marron flinched in surprise, but lit up when she heard her boyfriend's voice. She swung around and jumped into his arms, planting a kiss on her boyfriend's face. "Goten! It's great to see you!" Marron said and kissed him again, just for good measure. He definitely wasn't going to object.

“You too! So how was class?

“Boring. I’m starting to see why you and Trunks skip all the time.” Marron huffed, and then playfully poked his chest. “I guess being a delinquent like you has its perks~!”

“Told ya!” He said with a cheeky grin, eager to tell her about what happened today. “Anyway, ready to go?”

Marron smiled and grabbed his hand affectionately. A date was just what she needed right now. "Sure! Where are we going~?"

"There's an ice cream stand near the park about three blocks that way." He replied, gesturing over his shoulder with this thumb. "I'm friends with the guy who runs it!"

"Sounds great! It's such a nice day out! And I don't have to be home anytime soon anyway, so we have the whole afternoon to ourselves!" Marron chirped and playfully pulled him along.

After a bit of walking, they reached their destination . It was one of the more popular spots, so there wasn't a surprise there was a line.

"If I don't get something in my stomach soon, I might just eat my own hand!" Goten whined, his stomach growled almost as if it was agreeing.

"I'd pay to see that." Marron laughed.

Soon enough, it was their turn.

"Well well, look who it is! My number one customer!" The man at the stand said. He was an older man, about Goku's height. He had a kind face with short grayish hair. "Welcome back, Goten!"

"Hey Mr. Sherbert!"

"On a hot date?!" Mr. Sherbert said as he winked at the two teens. "You'd better treat her right, you hear?"

"Yeah! I'd never do anything bad. Right Mar?" Goten grinned. Marron blushed a bit from next to him.

"So what can I get for you two kids today?"

Goten already knew what he wanted; he had thought about it on the way over. "You first."

"Hmm..." Marron scanned the options until she found just the right one. I'll take a medium sized scoop of mint on a waffle cone, please." Marron said, eyeing the green-colored ice cream in the picture.

"Comin right up, miss! And how 'bout for you, big guy? The usual?"

"You bet!"

The older man laughed out loud. "I'd expect no less! A triple deluxe cone of vanilla, strawberry and chocolate with rainbow sprinkles, comin' right up!"

"How much do I owe ya?" Goten said, digging into his pocket for his wallet.

"This one's on the house, kid." Mr. Sherbert said, waving off Goten's attempt to hand him money.

Goten and Marron both looked shocked.

"What, really?"

"Yep. Don't worry 'bout it."

"Wow! Thanks a lot!"

"Just make sure you show this nice young lady a fun time on your date, okay?" Mr. Sherbert said with a kind smile, as he and Goten shared a laugh.

"I promise!"

After that, Goten and Marron got their food then took a seat on the grass in the park across the street and ate their snacks together.

"So, tell me. What's the big news?" Marron asked as she finished off her food, feeding off his anticipation. She could tell it was something big- whatever it was. "You've been antsy all afternoon!"

Goten fell backwards onto the grass and put his hands behind his head. "Well, I heard something interesting in class today!"

"You mean you actually paid attention?"

"Nope!" Goten declared without hesitating one bit.

Marron rolled her eyes with a giggle. She expected that response.

"It's about the World Martial Arts Tournament."

"Oh yeah!!” Marron exclaimed. “That’s next week, right? What happened?"

"Mr. Satan retired. And I'm considering entering. I’m sure Trunks and my dad will too.”

Marron gasped and clasped her hands together joyfully. "Oh my God, Goten, you totally should!" Marron exclaimed, putting her hands on his knee. "It would be so cool! Plus, it'll be like a little vacation for us!"

"You really think so?"

"Of course! You'll do great!" Marron declared happily. She gently took his large hand in her smaller ones and stared deep into his eyes. "You've been training so hard these past few years. I know that better than anyone. You said you wanted to surpass Goku someday, right? Well this is your biggest chance. I’ll be your cheerleader the whole way!” Marron declared that as if it were a love declaration. But it didn’t matter what place he came in. To her, Son Goten was already number one.

Goten liked the sound of that. He sat up and stole a quick kiss from Marron's lips when she wasn't paying attention. He pulled back and saw that the blonde was staring down at her dress, a scarlet-red hue covering her cheeks from ear-to-ear.

“You're the best, Mar. And you're right. I'm entering. And I'm going to win!"

"W-W-Warn me before you do that! I-I-I wasn't ready!" She stammered out, fixing her hair to distract herself from the sudden kiss. It was only a moment, but she felt the love and appreciation he had for her in it.

A sly grin made it's way onto the half-Saiyan's lips. "Okay then. I'm warning you now."

Marron didn't have time to react as she screamed with laughter when he pounced on her a moment later. They fell back onto the grass together and started making out, not caring who saw them.

_____________________________________________________________

It was almost dusk when Goten and Marron parted ways for the night. As the young Saiyan approached his home in the mountains from above, the sky had become a brilliant orange and red hue. It was like a wild flame slowly dying out into the calm darkness of the night. Sunsets were always soothing for him. When he was still a small child, Goten used to watch the sunset and think of his dad, wondering if he saw the same sunset from Other World.

Goten dropped down onto the grass in front of his house; smoke coming from the chimney. Goten smiled widely. He could smell dinner from here! "Oh boy! My favorite! Nothing beats Mom's cooking!"

“I’m home!” Goten called upon walking in.

“Hey kiddo! Grab a seat, it’s chow time!” Goku waved to his son, already seated at the table.

Chi-Chi placed the last plate on the table and then sat down herself. “Welcome home, honey!”

Goten sat down and together the family of three started eating. Chi-Chi paced herself while the boys ate in typical Son fashion-- as if it were their last meal ever (and seemingly never even came up to breathe). Chi-Chi sighed with a smile. She was used to it by now.

“Man Chi-Chi, you outdid yourself! This is really great!!” Goku exclaimed and went back for a fifth helping. “Your food is the best in the whole world!”

Chi-Chi touched her cheeks, bashfully smiling. She was even blushing a bit. “Oh, stop teasing, Goku. You're embarrassing me!”

“I’m serious!” Goku continued.

“Um, Mom…” Goten started hesitantly. He scratched the side of his cheek, thinking how to word his next question. “Sorry to ask this so suddenly, but… can I take a week off from school?” He said and then braced himself for the ‘no.’

Without flinching, Chi-Chi put down the tea she was sipping and smiled. “Planning a romantic getaway with your girlfriend~? I don’t mind, but if something happens are you prepared to take responsibility? A girl’s virginity is a special thing, Goten!”

Goten instantly did a spit take. He hacked and coughed and Goku patted him on the back. Once the teen caught his breath, he went pure red from embarrassment. Or was it from shock? Probably both.

“What I do with Mar is none of--- W-Wait! There’s no romantic getaway!” Goten practically shouted.

Talking about that type of stuff with Trunks was one thing, but it was the absolute LAST topic of conversation Son Goten ever in a million years wanted to have with his mother.

“Oh honey, stop being so dramatic. I’m no fool. I know how much you two love each other, it’s only natural!”

“Mom! Enough! I’m not talking about this with you!”

In the years since Buu, most things didn’t bother the Son matriarch anymore. Chi-Chi let things slide. She even started wearing her hair down or in a ponytail more often than not. And became brazent with her playful teasing. Too brazent for Goten’s own good. First Gohan, now him. Goku almost felt bad for them. Almost. He found it amusing.

Goten slapped his cheeks and quickly shook off the image before his mind could wander any further to any thoughts that might make him not able to ride the Flying Nimbus anymore.

“Besides, 18 would kill me, revive me with the Dragon Balls, and then kill me again!!” Goten said, getting a laugh from his parents. They were laughing because they knew he was right.

“Of course, honey. Now what’s the real reason?” She knew Goten would likely skip anyway. Goten didn’t think she knew, but she did. She was smarter than she looked. But still, she appreciated that he came to them first, whatever the reason was.

“I want to enter the World Tournament.” Goten declared, surprising both of his parents.

“I’m in too!!” Goku replied with the same confident grin his son had. Goku had a feeling Goten would. “There’s this guy I’ve been keeping an eye on lately. He’s got some insane power within him, more than he realizes. I have a hunch he’ll be entering the Tournament next week.”

Though he didn’t say this aloud, Son Goku had another reason he wanted to enter the Tournament. A lesson that his master had taught him long ago.

“A hunch?” Chi-Chi asked, somewhat worried. She had gotten used to the peace again. They all had. The last thing she wanted was another creep with an inflated ego dragging her boys into another universal death battle. “Sounds like bad news to me.”

“No need to worry. This guy’s totally pure of heart.” Goku replied, easing his wife’s fears.

“So who is he then?” Goten said, in between heaps of food. “Do we know him?”

Goku flashed his signature wide grin. “Sorry! Not telling. You’ll have to wait and see for yourself!”

Goten slouched back in his seat and frowned. “That’s lame. You’re no fun.”

“We’ll have to train for the Tournament just to be sure! I have a feeling this is gonna be a fun one!”

“Yeah!”

“I had a feeling this day would come sooner or later.” Chi-Chi said, sighing slightly. It was tough for her seeing her baby boy growing up into a man. He was almost done highschool, in a loving committed relationship, and now following in his father’s footsteps as a fighter. Soon he’d be out of the house and out on his own. The thought almost made her tear up, but she supported him nonetheless. The Son matriarch excused herself from the dinner table to hurry into the hall closet and pulled out a large white box with a bow on it.

Upon returning, Chi-Chi glanced to Goku for a moment and then handed her son the box. “I know your eighteenth birthday isn’t for a while, but I… we wanted you to have this before your big day. I made it myself.”

Goten raised an eyebrow at the box, shaking it slightly. It didn’t sound like a game or anything like that was inside. Now he was really curious. He carefully lifted the lid off of the box to see a brand new gi. His current one was fine and all, but it was getting a little too small and worn out over the past months of consistent training.

“Whoa! This is…” He gasped.

It was an orange gi, much like his father had worn for decades. But what made it different from Goku’s was instead of blue, Goten’s new gi had a black undershirt, and matching black belt, wristbands and boots.

Goten smiled as wide as could be as he lifted the gi out of the box to get a better look at it. “This is great! Thank you so much! I’m gonna go try it on!!” He said and ran to his bedroom to change.

Goku and Chi-Chi idled about in the meantime, cleaning up from dinner when the teenaged Saiyan returned shortly after.

Chi-Chi’s eyes lit up like stars while Goku proudly beamed from beside her.

“Oh, look at you! You look so handsome!” Chi-Chi gushed, fussing all over her son despite his protests. “You look just like your father did when he and I reunited at the Tournament all those years ago! Ahh, those were the days~!”

“Yup! Lookin’ just like his old man!” Goku said. “Except for the hair!”

“Hey! Don’t hate!” Goten whined. “This hairstyle is stylish!”

Goten had recently changed his hairstyle to stand out from his father. Instead of his father’s signature palm-tree hairstyle, Son Goten let his hair grow out. It still shot out in most directions, but was now much longer and shaggier, reached the back of his neck. He liked it a lot more. Even better, Marron said it made him look super cute. So he decided to stick with it!

“Training begins tomorrow!”

Goten smirked. He couldn’t wait.

The next day, Son Goku came into Goten’s room bright and early, ready to start. They didn’t have much time to prepare! He found the teen was curled up in a ball, clutching his pillow for dear life.

“Rise and shine, kiddo!” Goku swung open the curtains, bringing the hot bright rays of sunlight right onto Goten’s face.

Goten winced and half-opened one eye. “...Dad? It’s ...7 AM! On a Saturday. Come back in like three hours.” Goten grimaced and then pulled the covers over his head, hoping his father would go away. It was too early for this! He was in the middle of an awesome dream too!

“No way. We’ve only got six days till the tournament! We’re gonna train for three days, and then rest for three days.” Goku said and yanked the covers off the bed entirely. “We’re getting breakfast out on the road, so get up or you’ll miss it!”

Goten groaned even louder than before, finally sitting up. The teen rubbed his eyes and yawned loudly. His hair shot out in every direction even more so than normal. Under most circumstances he wouldn’t mind early morning training, but his bed was too comfy to leave it right now! If he went back to sleep now, maybe he could continue the dream he was having! “Can’t today be a rest day?”

“Nope. Now be outside in ten minutes or your mother said no dinner for you!” Goku grinned teasingly, knowing that was his son’s weakness.

“Oh come onnn! That’s--. Ugh. Fiiine!” Goten whined. “Cheater.”

After brushing his teeth (still half asleep) Goten threw on his new gi. Knowing how their sparring sessions usually went, he hoped it wouldn’t get destroyed after not even having it a full day.

He tiredly dragged his feet out to the kitchen where his mother was waiting for him.

“Never shoulda entered this stupid Tournament…” He mumbled to himself and yawned again.

Chi-Chi shook her head, laughing. “Oh hush. It’s not that bad. You know how your father gets in times like this.”

“Yeah, yeah. He could’ve at least waited another hour though!” Goten said and then went outside to see his father talking with Gohan as little Pan ran around at their feet.

“Oh, hey Gohan!” Goten said happily.

“I see Dad’s puttin’ you through the ringer, huh?” Gohan chuckled when he saw his brother drag his feet out onto the grass. “I was down that road plenty of times growing up.”

Goku had traded his signature orange gi for a blue gi with dark bluish-green pants, black shoes and orange wristbands. He still dearly treasured the Turtle School colors, but wanted something different for a change.

“Uncle Goten!!” Pan cried happily. The toddler wore a little red gi, a present she got from Goku and Chi-Chi for Christmas the previous winter. Pan jumped into the air and came flying at him like a football player trying to take down the quarterback.

Goten braced himself for the hug just as Pan slammed into him, laughing. “Hey, squirt!”

“I’m not a squirt, I grew two inches!”

Pan giggled. She loved her uncle so much. He was like a big kid, but also an adult! Pan didn’t really get how that was possible, but she just wanted to be just like him. He showed her all the funnest games, and always knew all the coolest places to go! Plus whenever he visited he always snuck her candy when Gohan wasn’t looking.

“Guess what Uncle Goten? Daddy says I can enter the World Toonament!”

Goten couldn’t help but laugh at her pronunciation of the word tournament. “Wait, what? You’re sure it’s okay if she enters, Gohan?”

Gohan nodded. “When she heard Mr. Satan used to be the Champ, it’s all she wanted to do. Videl and I agreed that since there’s no threats anymore, it wouldn’t be a big deal. There’s no Junior division this time, but we’ll all be there anyway. So no harm done.”

“You’re right about that! Besides, I think she can give Goten a challenge!” Goku said, winking up at Pan.

Pan tugged on Goten’s pant leg. “Is it true you’re comin’ fishin’ with us?”

“Sure is, Pan! Come on! You can ride on my shoulders!” Goten said and picked the little one up. She felt so tall!

“Alright, we’re heading off!” Goku said. Pan cheered while Goten smirked and pumped his fists. Now that he was fully awake, he was ready for action.

Gohan trusted his father more than anyone else in the world. He went over to affectionately pat his daughter’s head. “Bye, Panny. Be good for Grandpa and Uncle Goten!”

“Okay Daddy!”

And with that, the three were off. Gohan watched them go and then went back inside for his morning coffee.

The three followed the dirt path to a pretty meadow nearby. Dew glistened on the blades of grass, as the sun continued making its way over the mountain horizon. A river gently flowed into a waterfall that spilled into a sprawling crystal clear lake.. It brought back a wave of nostalgia for Goku as he could remember the countless times he went here to fish with Grandpa Gohan growing up.

Goten placed Pan down and stretched as the toddler immediately ran over to the river’s edge and stared in awe.

"Alright before we start training, whaddya say we get some breakfast? I’m starving!" Goku said, already prepping.

"Sure! I got it covered! I’ll get us some fish!”

"My favorite!” Goku said. No matter how many times he ate Paozu tuna, it didn’t get old.

In the meantime, Goku gathered firewood and then fired a tiny ki blast to start a fire. Pan helped by throwing sticks to make it bigger. He placed three large wooden stakes over the fire, one for each of them to roast their breakfast on.

Goten got down to his boxers and dove into the river. It was cold, yet refreshing. If he wasn't fully awake yet, he was now. The teen swam around a bit until some huge fish caught his eye. Common for this area, the Paozu fish were at least five times his size, and normally blue and white in color (but there were other colorations as well). Four of them spotted Goten at once and rushed towards their prey, each with the intent to swallow him whole.

Goten became motionless, waiting for the right moment. As the first approached, he swam down and kicked it in the side, killing it instantly. The teen then disposed of the other three aquatic attackers in a similar fashion.

Goten swam around and gathered his food. One for each of them and one extra! They could split the last one.

With their breakfast caught, the three generations of Sons sat around the fire, enjoying the morning together while they ate their breakfast in typical Saiyan fashion.

Goku burped and rubbed his stomach upon finishing. “Man, that hit the spot! Now it’s time for training!”

“I wanna train too, Grandpa!” Pan exclaimed.

Goku ruffled Pan’s hair, making her giggle. “You like flying, right?” He asked, knowing the answer already.

“Mhmm!” The four-year old gleefully said, raising her little hands into fists.

“Alright, well how about this? I want you to fly around the world as fast as you can!”

Pan’s little eyes lit up. “Really? Okay! Can Uncle Goten come with me??!”

Goten laughed and knelt down to be on eye level with the toddler. “I’d love to, Panny, but I gotta train! Next time I’ll go with you! And I’ll show you something real cool!”

“Pinky promise?” She said, holding up her little finger.

“Of course.” Goten grinned and they shook on it.

“Alright, bye Grandpa! Bye Uncle Goten!! I’ll be back soon!!” Pan waved and took off to the east.

Once Pan was out of sight, the Son boys could truly focus on their training.

“So, what’s on the agenda??”

"Okay, Goten. First, I need you to power up as high as you can possibly go." Goku folded his arms and smiled confidently. "I know things have been easy in these peace times, but I wanna see the progress you've made. You've been training primarily with Trunks, right?"

Goten nodded. "Yeah. At first it was pretty casual but these past two years or so we've really gotten serious."

Goku had full faith in his son. Though Goten was suppressing his energy, Goku could feel the sheer amount of power he had within him. In his fight with Buu, even as a child, Goten showed glimpses having more potential than even Gohan. At only seven years old, he became a Super Saiyan just by sparring for fun. And when fused together, Gotenks was one of the strongest fighters in the entire universe.

"...Alright, then. Here goes!" Goten smirked. He then took a deep breath and let out a mighty roar as his power skyrocketed. "HRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

A wild golden aura erupted around the teenager's body while lighting violently sparked around him. Goten's muscles bulged somewhat while his shaggy hair stood completely upright, becoming sharp and jagged. First, Goten's eyes turned to an emerald green. Then, his dark black hair became the signature golden-yellow. The lightning increased in intensity as Goten didn't stop there and kept powering up until a burst of light shot from the teens body.

There stood Son Goten in a fully-powered Super Saiyan 2 state. The splitting image of his father. His facial features were relaxed and he was in complete control of his energy; a far cry from ten years ago when he had gotten carried away at the Tournament.

"How's this?" Goten asked, smirking slightly. “At first, it took a lot of rage to transform, like I had to picture Majin Buu hurting Mar or Mom again. But it’s easy now!”

"Amazing, Goten! Wow! I'm so proud of you!" Goku beamed with pride at how far his son has come. At only seventeen years old, Son Goten had mastered Super Saiyan 2. Goku wouldn't be surprised if he was on the edge of unlocking Super Saiyan 3!

"Me and Trunks are just about equals."

Equals?! They were equals? If that really was the case, Goku could truly put his worries about leaving the earth to the next generation to rest. "No wonder You got so strong so fast!"

"How would you compare us to Majin Buu? Like a ballpark."

"You mean the evil one? Hard to say exactly, but you're definitely stronger than Vegeta and I were at the time. If both of you attacked together at full power, you could have possibly beaten him before he split good from evil and lost most of his power. But you know more than anyone how unpredictable Buu can be. Even though he's good now, you have to be careful. If you get matched up against him, you can't afford many mistakes against a guy like that.”

Goten pumped his fists happily. "Right! Thanks, Dad! So, what now?"

"Power down to normal. Goku said and slipped into a fighting stance. "Let's have a quick spar. This time, no transforming.”

"Huh? Are you sure? But you'll kick my ass!"

"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I'm gettin' old ya know! Now come on.”

Goten nodded and after a deep breath, his hair and eyes returned to their normal black color. He clenched his fists and then slipped into a fighting stance. “Just watch the gi, okay? It’s brand new, and I was hopin’ to surprise Mar with it.”

Goku smirked. “Sure. I’ll let you have the first move.”

“You’ll regret that!!” Goten instantly burst forward, appearing as only a blur. He swung a volley of powerful kicks directly at his father's face.

Goku smirked as dodged with ease but Goten was relentless. Kick after kick he didn't stop. That continued until Goku grabbed Goten by the leg, and prepared to counter. "Got ya."

"Not so fast!" With his other leg, Goten swung but that too was caught. Goten squirmed and fought to break loose, but Goku’s grip only tightened. Growling, Goten spread his arms wide, unleashing an Explosive Wave at point blank range.

Goku was hit dead on and lost his grip, staggering back somewhat as Goten landed. "OWW! Good one! That actually hurt! But I'm not even getting started yet!"

Goku vanished from sight and reappeared behind his son. Goten swerved around just in time to see his father pulling his fist back, ready to strike.

However the blow went right through his son as if it were an illusion.

“An afterimage...” Goku said, smirking.

Two copies of Goten reappeared to Goku’s side. Then, the real Goten appeared from above and swung a ferocious kick at Goku, but that too was nothing but an illusion.

“W-What?!” Goten exclaimed and jumped backwards, searching around for his father’s energy.

“I invented that move! Ya gotta be better than that!!” Goku said from a few yards away, smiling mischievously with his arms crossed.

Goten ran towards Goku again, but this time Goku vanished completely. The teen flipped backwards just as Goku came into sight, narrowly dodging the counter. Goten burst forward and immediately slammed Goku in the back of the head, this time hitting finally it’s mark.

Goku was sent careening down towards the ground, but he caught himself and safely landed on his own two feet. He winced, rubbing his head where Goten hit him. “He’s tougher than I remember!”

Goten continued his assault, flying down towards his father and firing multiple energy waves at Goku.

Goku deflected the blasts away from himself, sending the blasts far away from the fight to explode in the distance. Goten charged a bigger blast in his left hand, firing it directly forward. Goku stayed absolutely still, waiting for Goten's blast. At the last moment, Goten curved the blast up and it exploded into multiple blasts that shot in every direction, wildly zig-zagging around without any sense of direction or course.

Goku watched each blast intensely, waiting for the right moment.

“He’s distracted!” Goten blasted forwards, head first, at full force, slamming directly into Goku’s back.

Pulling his arms back into the signature pose, Goten his hands together. “KAAAAA… MEEEEE…” The blue energy began to build as Goten’s ki spiked. “HAAAAA… MEEEEE…”

Goku recovered and came to a sliding halt on the grassy terrain. The Saiyan hadn’t felt this excited in years. Goku smirked and raised his power level to match Goten’s. Just then, Goten vanished.

Goku’s eyes widened and crossed his arms over his face, just as Goten appeared in front of him.

“HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

The blast hit Goku dead on, creating a super massive explosion that could be felt all the way at the Son house from far away.

Goten jumped backwards to gain distance. The teen hovered there, his senses on full awareness, waiting for his father to emerge from the smoke. A palm-tree hairstyle and bluish-green gi appeared through the smoke soon enough, completely unharmed. He was smiling!

“I see you’ve finally mastered the Instant Transmission. Great work!” Goku grinned, folding his arms.

The Instant Transmission technique. Goten had asked his father to teach him the attack about two years ago when he started his training. Right around the time he started dating Marron. Goten motives were as clear as day.

“Yeah! Thanks again!” Goten said.

“You won’t fool me twice with that move though. Come on, let’s keep going!”

“You bet.”

They rushed each other at the same time and collided. A powerful yet invisible tremor shook the area as their fists met. The father and son duo crashed blow for blow as they rose higher in the air. Their attacks grew more intense the higher they went.

Eventually they disappeared, and could only be seen by the tremors echoing throughout the grassy training grounds.

At first, Goten traded blows evenly with his dad, countering each blow with ease. But as their struggle continued, Goku slowly raised his power and started overwhelming his father. He managed to land a crushing blow to the gut, making Goten falter. Goku went to punch him but Goten phased out of the way, reappearing some significant distance away and hid his energy singal.

“Now’s my chance!”

Goten got into position and powered up to full. In an instant he pulled his hands back, charged two blue blasts of ki in his hands and fired. The beam exploded in a marvelous blue light, hitting its target dead on. “Gotcha.”

Goten waited for movement. But when the smoke cleared and Goku was gone! The teen growled when he saw his father simply dusting off his gi on the grass below.

“Dammit! He’s not even hurt!”

To Goku’s own surprise, he was just a bit out of breath. ”If I’m not careful, he actually may get the advantage. He’s even further along in his training than I originally thought.” He smirked and then raised his hands close to the center of his face with his fingers spread out toward his eyes. “This was fun, Goten, but you’re not winning this fight.”

Goten braced himself and shut his eyes. “Oh crap!”

“SOLAR FLARE!”

A blinding white light exploded from the Saiyan father’s body as if a second sun was right there on the battlefield with them, covering everything in sight.

Despite being temporarily blind, Goten’s other senses kicked into high gear. He felt where Goku was going to appear and attempted to counter, but missed every attack. Goku simply side-stepped or caught everything Goten threw at him.

Goku smirked, reappearing right behind his son. "Come on! Focus! You're better than that, Goten!" He said right before flipping behind Goten and kneeing his son right in the back.

Goten was flown forward as he grunted from the impact of the hard hit, trying to regain control of his body as his sight finally began returning to him.

Goku pursued his son, pounding him into the ground causing cracks and the ground itself to rise up from the impact. Goku then grabbed his son by the legs and threw him into the air. Goku flew straight up, stopping above Goten. He threw a punch at Goten but Goten managed to duck, countering with a jab to the gut.

Goku vanished and kicked his son upwards, and with a flare his energy unleashed a monstrous kiai that had Goten flying backwards, unable to recover.

A boot connected with the boy’s face and he was sent shooting towards the ground yet again.

“Try and stop this one!!” Goku cried and unleashed a volley of rapid-fire blasts. Goten’s head was still spinning from the kick, so he didn’t have time to block the dozens of golden Ki spheres that crashed into his body one after another seemingly without end.

Finally, Goku built up one last, super-large energy ball for the final attack.

Goten had just enough time to land on his feet and catch the ball of ki. He grunted as he felt himself being pushed back, but with a flare of his aura--almost turning Super Saiyan until he remebered the rule, managed to send it flying away. A massive explosion echoed from afar where the impact was.

Goku floated above him with his hands on his hips, smiling proudly.

Goten heaved and huffed, now feeling exhausted as if he sweat from his brow. He really could have kept going, but decided against it and shook his head. “I’m done for now. You win....” He said and plopped down on the grass.

The fight was over. Goku grinned and flashed dual victory signs. “You did amazing, Goten. Really had me there!”

“One of these days, I swear, the shoe is gonna be on the other foot!” Goten declared in between heavy breaths. At least his gi didn’t get ruined.

“And I think that day will be sooner rather than later.” Goku smiled and sat down next to Goten on the grass as they waited for Panny to come back.

Only six days remain until the 28th World Martial Arts Tournament begins!

#dragon ball #dbz #goten #marron #marten #goten x marron #goku #chichi

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