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bthebeachboi · 2 years

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I was a kid, but I wasn't clueless

(Someone who loves you wouldn’t do this)

“G, darling, why won’t you go with your siblings to Pennsylvania?”

Slowly, the oldest looked at her, holding the US tight by his collar and looked at his sleeping family on the couch. He knew the pain in two colored eyes, he knew that old, undying fear and he knew that it meant a lot of things, but good ones. Silently he grabbed his notebook and when the tall woman in front of him looked back at his friend, he threw it with all his strength.

She let go of the young man, who backed up and barely kept his balance. Gov saw how he tried to speak up, but he didn’t care.

“Why would you do it?” She was cold, like a breeze in Alaska, yet he stood there like she didn’t have any power above him. “Why, Government?”

She never screamed, only using her physical force to hurt them, to punish them for what they did. That’s good, they wouldn’t wake up his siblings.

“Because-” he started, yet she hit him before he could be done. His nose cracked, something in him felt broken, but he couldn’t be bothered. “Because you were trying to hurt the US, I can’t let it happen.”

She was always like that, her anger was so hot it turned cold, blue eyes were sharp and if they could kill, he knows he would’ve been dead by now. His friend was already out of the room, since he ran as fast as he could when he noticed she ignored him.

The US wasn't always scared of the British Empire, even if he had his moments, but he could never handle it when she got aggressive, fearing for his people, for his own family. That was something the Gov could understand, worrying what will happen to people close to you, those who you love.

Or could he?

Another punch landed closer to his eye, her favorite ring ripped his skin, leaving a small open wound. Blood slowly fell down, painting gray carpet red, making them both look down.

“...You will clean that whole thing, do you understand? That’s your punishment.”

“Yes Ma'am.”

///

The US finally was free, free of her cold gaze and her sharp nails, and he looked so happy. He hugged his friends close to his chest, Massachusetts was chuckling under his breath and even York smiled lightly.

After some time, the British Empire was gone, she died and left her younger sister, now called the United Kingdom, alone. Sometimes, when he ended up meeting her, she would give him the same cold stare full of hatred, but as always, it never bothered him.

After a few years, or maybe more, his younger brother took the position as the Government, as Congress, and it was fine, he was fine.

Until hell broke loose.

DC was in the building, worrying for his life and trying to leave, never being fully able to do so and everyone learnt why only the Gov could be what they were trying to give to him. DC was scared, he felt emotions that his brother could never feel, like IDC and CDC.

So he was stripped from his family, like always. He was always different, in the name and in the way he was, so they took them away physically and legally, making him alone. Silently, he sat in his brother’s place, looking at states in front of him and acting, like he always did.

I mean, why wouldn’t he? He was here just to make sure everything went like the US wanted it to go.

One day he was sitting in the kitchen, drinking his coffee and reading the papers he had to take care of when Mass and PA walked in. They shared a look, but he didn’t even have time to think about it. Rough, bandaged hands grabbed his face lightly and a pair of gray-ish purple eyes looked into his dark blue one’s.

“Oh Congress, my dear, it’s actually you.” Penn State sounded soft and, oh so sad. “All this time you were alive? Where have you been? The last time I- we’ve seen you was when Louisiana joined, wasn’t it?”

They knew the difference. - rang in his mind, annoying him. - How did they know? Was he so different from their DC? (Was he always so different from all of his siblings?)

“...Yes.” he finally answered, lightly nodding. “I had to take care of other things, so I was, well, brushed to the side.”

I was swapped, replaced, they didn’t need me, but they needed the job done. “Brushed to the side” more like thrown to the trash, like I wasn’t supposed to be, like I was wrong for being.

One of the fingers slightly brushed his skin, like he tried to make sure he was real and PA slowly breathed in and hugged him.

And for the first time he actually felt everything around him, his ex friend’s choking warmth and his sweet smell, his more awake part tried to remember their name, but he couldn’t be bothered. His mug was taken from his hand by Mass near him, when all he could do was hug Penn State back, holding him like he would lose him again, like he would be taken away.

And maybe he felt the tears in his eyes, maybe he felt all those years of pain and fear that they won’t survive until tomorrow, that the US will die in front of him, maybe he finally felt like the life he had was something he wanted to have.

Years of being empty can’t be taken that easily, but it changed something, something broken in him moved, shards of it pushing deeper than any knife.

(Killing him quicker than his friend’s hands that one day that he pushed him too far.)

“When you disappeared, we were sure you died, that DC was new you, but you and your blue fucking eyes are not easy to forget, brat.” his voice was heavy, like when they met after his first war, holding so much weight that he never should have to carry. “Why weren’t you the one we got, why weren’t you with us?”

He wanted to repeat himself, that it’s because he wasn’t actually needed, that he wasn’t the one they wanted, but was it enough? Was it the real reason? He couldn’t remember why, he just knew that after his first death, it all went to shit, that the US didn’t want him around, so when the Louisiana broke, his last death occurred, he was thrown out for “his safety”.

Still holding PA, he tried to remember what his friend told him back then.

“...It’s because you have your mother’s eyes.” the US sobbed, while holding his neck in a tight grip. “I can’t… Gov I can’t handle your cold fucking gaze, don’t be around me.”

He started shaking, his nails digging deep into Pennsylvania’s shirt. Was he really so similar to her that he hurt him? He looked around, searching for something to see himself in, noticing the fridge behind two older people, just to learn something new.

He couldn’t see his own face.

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bananonbinary · 6 months

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also worth noting that "abusive" doesn't actually mean "irredeemable" either.

there's a lot of people that have done things in the past that were bad, because they weren't taught any better, or they were in an overall toxic situation where EVERYONE was shitty (like a cult), or they were just at an especially low point and hurt others for it.

you don't have to forgive them. you don't have to ever speak to them again. you can be angry with them until you die if you want.

but society cannot function if we don't allow them to move on. to change their behavior and fuck off somewhere else and build meaningful relationships without bothering you again. we need a path for people to change, or nothing ever will.

#like re: the last post #npd SHOULDNT mean 'youre an abusive person'#but also people who have abused people in the past can still become better people in the present #you know?#and as i metioned vaguely in that post. the way we currently treat people with NPD probably CAUSES THEM to lash out at and abuse others #if u abuse someone they lash back out at you and suddenly theres fun mutual abuse happening #so they need a way out of that cycle

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses · 26 days

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historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

#and hijinks ensue. obviously.#BONUS POINTS if they're gender nonconforming/questioning/trans coded #back at home they'd get dressed up then switch outfits in the taxi on the way to the gay club #now that they're married/on vacation in a new country they just wear what they want #he already has a glamorous collection of silk dressing gowns but she's the one who drags him out to buy a closet full of evening gowns #he tries to throw his suits out to make closet space and she steals them for her own wardrobe #also i think they should be a fun mixture of supportive and Cattily Judgemental about each other's dating decisions #just for funsies #like when your bestie is making a mess of their love life but you're in no position to lecture them bc youre WORSE #no wait wait wait #FINAL SEASON they both realize they're trans and move abroad permanently--where they each assume the other's legal identity!!!#SERIES FINALE: a joyful double wedding--wherein they lovingly divorce each other #and (under their switched identities) legally marry their longterm partners

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verflares · 1 month

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just how long is forever? // not long enough, with you

pssst. check this out on inprnt :]

#pssst also. you should click/zoom on this. for better quality and to see all my silly little details :] hooty hoo #this is my totkversary thing im just too impatient to wait till the 12th LOL. big shoutout to this game tht has ruined my life. and zelink.#zelink #light dragon #link #zelda #loz #totk #princess zelda #totk spoilers #link totk #zelda totk #tears of the kingdom #loz fanart #i had soooo much fun drawing this i really did. i think this is a good capstone piece for how much ive improved so far this year #i still have a long ways to go ofc but. i am pleased ^_^ nd i am glad i can use zink like experiments to do so hehe #anyway. YURI FOREVERRRRR BITCH #my art

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lgbtlunaverse · 8 months

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Nothing will dispell the "the curtains were just blue" myth faster than writing something yourself, because the amount of pretentious symbolism i am putting in my silly little fanfics is ridiculous. I mean SO much with these words, literally every single one of them. This fic has twenty five typos and zero correct uses of punctuation but if there's curtains you bet your ass I put thought into what colour they were.

#writing #fic writing #like this is stuff i'm doing for fun with my perfectionism meter turned down as far as i can get it #and i am still thinking about it A LOT #talk to me about how in red string fic jgy perceives the memory block both as syrup and as mud but nmj thinks it feels like blood #it's just a thing in their heads that mentally feels kind of thick and sticky but they both made something different of it #it's about issues with cleanliness / lies as a way to craft an illusion of a better lopking world vs the constant violence nmj lives in

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joycrispy · 10 months

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Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.

#also because tumblr has a very specific way that it interacts with the media it loves #like make no mistake; when we made Goncharov we were a little bit making fun of ourselves #and the way we project high emotion and significance onto even the smallest details #(also the way we want everything to be gay)#tiktok isn’t doing that. they think the joke is the fake movie itself. but the fake movie isn't really the point.#the point is the fake FANDOM #goncharov

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apollos-olives · 19 days

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before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.

#don't you think it's so odd how so many palestinians on tumblr were just minding their own business and having fun #and all of a sudden the genocide started and we started dedicating all our time #to helping and start educating people #only for people to start questioning us and harassing us in the most parasocial ways #and now about half of us are deciding not to share about our personal lives or our interests anymore #because we can't be granted the opportunity to actually have personalities outside of our suffering.#a look into our personal lives is a privilege and all of you abused it #all of this is due to the fact that none of you consider us as actual human beings #even if you're “allies” to the palestinian cause. you still dehumanize us to hell and back #i wish you all could see me as someone who is just like you.

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daeyumi · 5 months

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another meme redraw from twt, i just couldn’t help myself

#zelda #legend of zelda #twilight princess #zelda twilight princess #midzel #zelda tp #twilight princess zelda #midna #midzel supremacy #midzel moment #zelda fanart #daeyumi art #it’s been way too long since i last drew midzel #and like come on this template was literally MADE for them #i tried some new brushes too #it was fun doing a more loose(?) painterly style

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foolsocracy · 14 days

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identity reveals are always fun

#batcave search history that night: friend has no name. atlantis naming conventions. atlantian names. r there birth certificates in atlantis #theyre so fun to draw guys im sick with it #also: everyone thinking 'But his name is Garth'#I know that and YOU know that but he doesn't until like..... a few years later. canonically #Unnamed Youth 'Aqualad' No Last Name #and arthur does call him both minnow and tadpole so wally n dick r both right in their own ways #and for ppl who really dont know. garth was abandoned as an infant and didnt hang w anyone until arthur took him in lol. what a life #and arthur girl...... was aqualad the best and only u could do #teen titans #fab five #donna troy #wally west #dick grayson #garth of shayeris #roy harper #dc #dc comics #my art #everyone hangin by the salt water pool so garth can hang w them :]

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factual-fantasy · 2 months

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Oh copy/paste and desktop Tumblr, how I've missed you so XDD

I'm still unable to sit at my desk for as long as I'd like to.. but I can sit long enough to draw some comics here and there at least! One of which being a (somewhat) angsty comic with Grim and V! Did you really think they escaped my angst curse?? It was only a matter of time before I cursed them as well! XDD

But for real, I've wanted to draw something angsty with Grim and V for a while now. And I'm glad I was finally able to! Even if its kind'aaa more of a goofy comic with angsty undertones rather than full on angst. XDD

The more I draw these two, the more lore I start to build in the background... I wonder if I should explore Grim's more serious angst sometime.. 😈😈

#do not tag as ship #pokemon scarlet and violet #gengar #sylveon #gardevoir #Gengar is really fun to draw :}}#trying to draw him with different expressions but keeping his eyes and mouth looking “gengar-ish” is a fun challange #sylveon is just WAY off model but that's what made this comic fun and goofy XDD #And what a sweetheart Gloria is #Grim and V sleeping near each other is likely normal and didn't raise any suspicion amongst the group #but Gloria could probably sense the stress and emotion in V with her psychic powers and what not #so she made him a sammich and some tea as a pick-me-up🥺💖

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yikes-kachowski · 14 days

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Guess who my favorite atla character is

#quick sketches #which is my way of saying im ashamed of the render #atla fanart #avatar the last airbender #avatar aang #aang #i like trans aang #i just think its fun #adult aang design

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painted-bees · 10 months

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If there is a story you wanna tell, but you don't think you will ever have the time or resources to organize and tell it ""properly"" as like...a novel or a comic or whatever, it can absolutely just be...a bunch of brain storm-y blog posts and sketches that you share and compile over time on your blog. That is still a story. It is still a format. In theory, it might not be the "best, most effective" format...but in practise, the best, most effective format is the one that is accessible enough to let you get your ideas and narratives out at all♡

And, yanno--it is just nice to be able to give folks some context for your characters n stuff :3c

#sorta like how not every drawing an artist makes needs to be a fully planned and rendered illustration #sometimes you just wanna sketch an idea and leave it as that.#sometimes it is just more fun that way.

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chloesimaginationthings · 2 months

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FNAF Cassidy knows how to “help” Michael Afton

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bigfatbreak · 2 months

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Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

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saintforan · 3 months

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I think this lil guy reminds him of someone

ignore how messy it is, its like 5 am here n i needed 2 get this out of my system

#art #artists on tumblr #digital art #digital illustration #poppy playtime #poppy playtime 3 #poppy playtime chapter 3 #smiling critters #dogday #catnap #fun fact #i realized mid way through this that the lil guys were the merchable version of the big ones #i just thought they were another brand of toy or smth like that #maybe im just dumb #still love them tho #i need 2 buy them but im broke

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punkitt-is-here · 1 year

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me and my bf were talking about fluttershy probably being terrible at smoking weed and that evolved into the idea of pinkie pie giving her the worst high in her life

#fluttershy #pinkie pie #mlp #my little pony #comics #my art #my posts #punkitt #listen i see a lot of stoner fluttershy memes #but i think itd be WAY funnier if she was like like #super scared of getting high #and that evolved into I HAVE TO SAVE PINKIE FROM GETTING HIGH #most fun ive had drawing expressions in a while #horsecomix

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