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dnp-pet-rectangle · 2 months

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WAD reflection from the perspective of a theatre director

Inspired by @/calvinahobbes who did an amazing job breaking down the show’s metaphors & using her English degree in this post, I wanted to share my perspective on it (even a month later) & get use out of my theatre degree lol. Also, warning, this will be very much a long, long essay with run-ons. I have ADHD & I love when my frequent hyperfixations intersect 🤪 There are major spoilers.

My Background:

I am a semi-professional theatre director, but more broadly, a theatremaker. I have a theatre degree from New York University’s Tisch School on the Arts (NYU Tisch), where I did a conservatory program with one of their studios which focused basically on those who wanted to do a little bit of everything and create new works & was the only studio training directors & playwrights. I originally went into the program as a performer. I did not mean to end up concentrating on being mainly a producer & a director, but that’s a whole other story. I also through that program had to take theatre/performance studies courses, which I loved for the most part & is an interesting interdisciplinary field. But I will try to define terms just in case since anybody reading this may not know any or all the specific terminology I might use. In short, I have a fancy degree that apparently should cost $300k 🤡 & I’m gonna actually use it with doing this lol

Setting the Tone:

While Dan might call this a comedy special or comedy show, and thereby comparing it to other comedians, I actually think he is doing himself and We’re All Doomed (WAD) a disservice. I saw folks compare him a lot to Bo Burnham in the chat (who was actually was accepted and almost went to NYU Tisch for a different studio that focused on solely experimental work), which makes sense considering the theatrical nature of both of them. However, Dan actually goes further into the realm of theatre because of how he utilizes his crowd work (I’ll go into that later). I recognize traditional comedy specials/standup as having jokes or stories, when doing you know like late night talk show interviews, that can be made outside of the context of the show & slip into a conversation. Or with Burnham’s Inside Out, the songs & other parts can be done or understood mainly out of context, as seen through Bo uploading them to his YouTube channel. Comedy specials have the sections of their comedy stand-up thread together, but what Dan has done is weave his sections together. The length along with the intermission/interval being a part of WAD, adds to my point that he is not treating this as different material he tested out at different comedy clubs, but as something cohesive storytelling pieces. I think in terms of testing, Phil was the main sufferer audience member of the initial materials being created.

Anyway, you cannot as easily remove it from the context at certain points, because the transitions & the order of these different sections are treated as equally important, rather than a means to move on to the next section, with some possible space for improv.

Basically, I’m bi. Sorry, my brain started thinking about BIG when I started writing “basically” at the start of that sentence. Actually, what I am trying to say is that I would classify We’re All Doomed as a one-man performance piece/show, so I will be treating it as such in my review/reflection/breakdown. The comedy of it is important and there, but I don’t think it captures what WAD entirely is.

Also, unfortunately due to where I was at mentally at the time & the location it was being performed at, I never saw this live. To be honest, how it got framed marketing-wise did not help me feel connected with the actual purpose of the show, with hope being a key element. So while this was filmed, I am as much as possible trying to remove the cinematography as an element of my analysis. However, some things might be clearer on film, as with theatrical directing, you cannot add a zoom or crop & instead are trying to ensure moments are clear to an audience by what they see and hear through drawing their attention to it. With theatre being mainly about the live output by performers and intake by the audience, at the end of the day, what my job as a director is is to direct not only how the performers share the story, but also direct the audience on what is important to catch for understanding.

Breakdown of Thoughts

Originally, I wanted to rewatch the show again, and started to, but considering I ended up writing about a whole page worth of things for each minute of the show & I was sleepy by the time I was like 5-10 minutes in, I decided to be nice to myself & stay up all night in my comfortable bed instead of staying up all night at my desk trying to take in-depth notes 🙃

I’m gonna breakdown this analysis/reflection into further sections, just to give myself some anchors & break up the blocks of text. Also as a way to just be that pretentious, maybe with an academic flair, as is fitting to be for something about Dan Howell (said affectionately 💕)

The Script/Writing

When considering the text of the show itself, two things came to mind for me:

(1) This is definitely what I would call intertext. Intertext is a piece of writing that relates to another or more other writings through allusions. WAD is an intertext which alludes mainly to other works of Dan’s on his YouTube channel. The ability to get the true impact of the show relies on you knowing Dan (as his internet persona) on some level. And as a theatre maker & longtime fan, I love that it is, it’s what the piece needed to be. As a theatre producer, the hiatus from engaging with his audience and the limited runway given to reactivate interest in him and his creative work I think made it difficult to get that audience in some venues, along with some other funkiness (mainly with promo) I am less knowledgeable on. But I think Dan has already learned/continues to learn from that, which I think may have been valuable for him. (sidenote: I need the tea on all that because I love knowing how presenting venues work with performers, as well as the lack of understanding they have of internet culture as it relates to venue leadership.)

(2) This was a work he made for himself. He mentions this both in the show & in reference to WAD multiple times. But I think what truly came to mind for me was that it is still powerful for him to write for himself. He is writing for what he needs to be hearing or wants to be processing creatively.

I think why it is powerful is that Dan has discussed before how much stress he put on himself regarding danisnotonfire, and later Daniel Howell, videos, focusing on the audience, and how he was presenting a specific style/quality of video to them. Add in the layer of being closeted & actively fighting internalized homophobia, and the anxiety he built up makes sense. And I might personally attribute that more to his need to pass as straight & catering I believe at one point to an audience of cishet men, whether actual or perceived by him. Not all videos, especially the most impactful ones in my opinion, rely on this, but it was a key piece of what he made during his rise in popularity on the platform. This catering slowly decreased with the amount of uploads he was doing, along with a more tangible understanding of his audience thanks to the tours he did with Phil. Basically I’m Gay I think was the true shift where he gave himself permission to write work that had a main audience of himself. That’s where his best work has come from, and I think since then, he’s been able to have the space to process things creatively through his writing.

The Relationship Between Performer & Audience

When I was in theatre school, my directing teacher would constantly talk about not just considering the relationship of the performers on “stage” (I did a lot of more immersive work & we only had black box theatres, which is literally a room that is floor to ceiling black) but also the relationship of the performers & the story with the audience. By Dan knowing mainly who his audience would be, the show can now play with that understanding in mind.

This leads to my point that, overall, Dan does not use the fourth wall, and I think that is what makes We’re All Doomed work. It may also be why he called it a comedy show, idk.

For those who don’t know what the fourth wall is, it is a term from theatre originally that is about the way in which a traditional theatre stage (called a proscenium) has three physical walls around it, while there is no 4th physical wall, so the audience can see the performance. If does exist physically, it is only the curtain that acts as the 4th “wall”. So, in order to keep it as a separation between the performers and the audience, the actors treat the side where the audience is as a fourth wall. When someone breaks the 4th wall, this is when they speak to audience directly, rather than to another character. Examples from English-speaking pop culture would be the asides from Hamlet or Ferris Bueller in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But when you are the only person on stage, the only way to have a fourth wall is when you don’t reference that you know there’s an audience there. Hence, a monologue where the character is talking to themselves or an entity that is not the audience directly (or assigned to be the audience by the director), it is the closest you can have a fourth wall when alone.

Dan in his videos and in his previous tours with Phil never were without direct engagement of the audience (obvious with the naming of Interactive Introverts). It was never not a variation on him speaking with the audience in any type of dialogue, even if done parasocially.

Some of that is not new to theatre, but I would say is that it has become more of a trend within new theatre starting in the early 2010s to have more interactivity and a more authentic, explicit message that no performance will be the exact same. I definitely saw that in the shows I saw both Off-Broadway (which sidenote, all that means is that there’s fewer seats in that theatre, not about quality of the work or how worth it is to engage with) and larger settings like Broadway and the West End. That’s what I love about theatre, and why my own work is more about immersion and direct audience engagement.

Now Dan’s creative works have never been skit only or interested in telling a story outside of the realm of connecting with an audience as a variation of himself, so again, him not using the fourth wall overall is appropriate and fits in with what I mentioned about intertext. The piece does however start with a fourth wall for the music number, which I will walk through fully sharing why I am saying that about the song & dance opening after establishing some other concepts to help build understanding.

Design Can Work With You or Against You

I just want to say out the gate that the design was done really well, and I immediately felt a need to emphasize it after watching the first 10 minutes again.

First, let’s talk about the orange & black aesthetic of the show. Dan may have simply said that the orange just looked cool, but I think I would attribute more meaning to that color. Orange brings to my mind at first instance both a bright happiness/warmth and a sense of caution and warning, like road signs (at least those in America). The themes of the show reflect these two ideas and plays with the tension between them. I don’t know if he or the team meant to have that be a conscious choice, but there’s a joke I’ve had with other directors of when they get complimented on something unexpected, they just nod and say “yes, that was a choice”, even though it was just a random thing that happened or was something that you just thought would be cool to do. Orange runs through the show’s designs and it becomes clear that it is a tool for contrast and emphasis for the points Dan & the director want to make.

Now with the design team of costumes, lights, sound, and media, I can see a clear cohesion. Good theatrical design has the designs act as a character or highlighter in the story. Bad theatrical design can take away/distract from the core intensions of the show. It was so clear to me that the design was a character. And seeing that there were two media designers make complete sense considering the labor lift of both creating the projections displayed, but also creating/filming pieces of the media itself. The music/sound and lighting work well to articulate the manic feelings it means to instill in the audience and seeing it as a director, I assume part of the creative discussion was about parts of the media played they wanted to make sure were heard, and the lights help catch attentions in service of those pulled out moments. For costumes, I think Calvina did well in her post at articulating the elements of the costume and the progression it goes throughout the show. I’d rather not take up space to say the same thing truthfully.

With all the design elements, I think three characters could be defined (not including the audience), two as main characters, and one as a supporting character. I would name the main characters as “the Circle” (the looming set piece throughout hosting the projections used throughout) and “Dan On Stage/Dan performing” (the one in the physical space) with the “voiceover Dan/inner voice Dan” as a supporting character. The voiceover only exists in the beginning, and it is only shared with us to demonstrate the way in which the Dan On Stage singing is not really that aggressively optimistic and wholeheartedly believes the words he is singing. He is not the Dan we know from the Internet, so we can cathartically laugh at the attempt to pretend everything is fine. The voiceover only has one role, and it is to force Dan to confront this breakdown has an audience.

Staging an Opening Sequence: Our First Stage Character is the Circle

In directing classes, often what you focus on is called stage pictures, which is meant to help you consider what the actual imagery you want to ensure the audience absorbs for their understanding of the piece. The first and last stage moment of each act should tell a basic story of what happened, and therefore, are heavily emphasized as important for directors. The Circle (capitalized for reference purposes) being lit up before the show starts and then again in conjunction with the light flashes and sound establishes the importance of the Circle to the show. When the projection comes into play, showing the speech of a 15-year-old Greta Thunberg before beginning to add more, we are then introduced to the purpose of the Circle to be an output/portal for the overstimulation of messages, in this case, I would claim it being what comes from the Internet.

The music/sound and lighting work well to articulate the manic feelings it means to instill in the audience and seeing it as a director, I assume part of the creative discussion was about parts of the media played they wanted to make sure were heard, and the lights help catch attentions in service of those pulled out moments. The Circle also through some of the lighting moments, mimic that of a clock, which again adds to the doomsday, the "end is near" type energy. To have the end of the opening sequence build to an explosion which then shows solid orange at the end while Dan is in silhouette begins the introduction to the orange emphasis & proposes a sort of prophet-like version of him after the apocalyptic imagery disappears as he rises to be seen. What we have opened with is setting the tone to how we should view these two characters of the Circle & the Dan on Stage.

Song Time!

Dan is such a theatre kid & I love that for him. His dramatic side shows through the moment he used a rise to start his show at the top of the stairs, first in a place of seriousness with the sharp lighting and smoke to then bring in a very happy music number. The contrast & switching of expectations is a key of comedic works, and shows through most of the phandom who did not know WAD started with that, as it is indeed funnier if it comes as a shock. The movement & music mimic what folks attribute to as musical theatre, which is campy, happy singing. Knowing he was the one who suggested the song for TATINOF, I am loving Dan clearly wanting to have that opening number of a musical moment, even if it is dripping in irony. The Circle & the lights in this acts as a supporter to the message of it being sunshine and rainbows, with literal rainbow lights included. (Sidenote: I am 99% sure the pigeon coo is Phil, so if anything, I’m disappointed he was not credited as Pigeon sound effect AND remote crisis manager. Idk why I could tell, but both times now, it’s what I immediately thought when hearing that part)

I think of the musical number as the only place where he does have a fourth wall, because the number does not directly reference the audience at the start. It’s a one-man moment and it is about the performance not the audience engagement. It starts falling away when he starts pointing out the “and you”s, but the voiceover is the real break in our understanding of the world. It is emphasized by the color inversion of the sun & sky media of the Circle. The director is saying, this is important to how you now interpret what you’ve seen & will see, this is another shift from what was established of this world.

I should mention “world” is the terminology used to name what the environment the story is being told in with consideration, especially in theatre, of how much of a need there is for suspension of disbelief. I believe this term is also referenced a lot when discussing the fantasy and sci-fi genres, since those also requires some distancing from reality for the audience. This ties into a phrase I will probably end up using a lot of “rules of the space”. When establishing this world for the show you are presenting to an audience, there is a type of logic that must be established in order to understand what is the baseline for what the audience will be engaging with over the span of the show. But the voiceover immediately changes the rules of the space, because it messes with the Dan on stage, and messes with the messaging of the Circle. It adds a new context to the Dan On Stage, as while a fan will know that this song is not in alignment of our knowledge of Dan Howell, we get confirmation that this indeed ironic and outside of the branding that Dan has boxed himself into over his time on YouTube.

But the voiceover is also not in alignment with that “branding”. It expresses concerns related to the Dan On Stage’s mental wellbeing. There is no irony or subtext in that voice, it is the most direct in speaking to Dan On Stage, because it is being said by a variation of Dan in voiceover to himself. These could be seen as questions he knows to ask himself, but as someone who advocates for mental health & shares now about being openly gay, I interpret that he may feel he cannot express that outside of his mind for fear of undermining his advocacy points. The discussion of the “wonders” of the Internet also continue building in the tension that exists throughout WAD of how Dan feels about that space. The voiceover then proposes at first a type of equal extreme, which only sees the Doom, and as someone with clinical Depression myself, I think is only a furtherance of the breakdown, rather than the reality check it started off being. Not that what is listed is wrong by any means, but the barrage of it is meant to expand the drowning feeling, not act as call to action or consideration of the intricacies for engaging in the world. With the Circle’s sun imagery & the music having been inverted and shifted to something more sinister, Dan’s movement up the stairs fits a type of circular moment from the first entry of him, where the image of the prophetic figure is questioned on how he alone will solve the climate emergency. The slap & break of character for the Dan on Stage serves to confirm our understanding of the voiceover as the voice in Dan’s head & indeed there are not two Dans.

Also, the sparklers 🎇 showing up really make the key change for the song, but my producer brain is going, “girl, of course you lost money on this show, was that so VERY NECESSARY?” But the dramatic Gemini theatre bitch in me would 100% want this too. I just don’t have a capita£ester working to get sponsorship money in my life, so I have to be reasonable 😔 Also, the confetti with the high note is peak theatre gay so I again, love that for him. And of course, the confetti is orange.

Hints of Orange

When the song reaches its end & the Circle starts showing squares of orange, rather than a full background, this acts as a seed for the breakdown and waterfall of cubes, which Calvina speaks to the orange cube hint at the beginning in her post. The sudden cut-out with Dan simply lit replicates a moment the Circle is not present. The Internet is not present. To crawl to a microphone, the message is not “hey this guy needs two mics”, because we see one on his face, but that the wired mic (which I will now label as “The Microphone”) is a metaphor. It’s a crawl towards sharing out, not suppression. Only when the voiceover of himself points out the audience does he does a full fourth wall break. The suppression did not work, and neither he nor the audience can believe that it was the Truth.

The wire of the Microphone being orange showcases that it was meant to be seen. I don’t think it even in play in terms of the sound, like it might not even be on, considering the feedback nightmare it would likely cause. And no standard microphone used on stages has orange wires, because that would pull the audience’s eyes to it. But that’s the point here.

The rules of the space are now this: the Circle is not always active, the Microphone has significance, the Dan On Stage knows there is an audience. None of these were true before, even the Circle was on before the start. This draws the audience to know there has been a shift & to have the first words said into the Microphone be “We’re All Doomed” solidifies the song moment was a blip, that this is really where we start at. As an example, in the social media section, Dan does a deliberate wrapping of the wire on his hand at the same time the Circle scrolls to the social media icon. It is how the director & Dan are ensuring that we understand “what he is saying and what is been shown on the screen are in tandem”, so if you’re paying attention to that wire, it signals you should look up too.

Every other prop, except I believe the gavel and wig, is also orange. The bubble gun is mainly what comes to mind for me, since the cubes are not as activated as props necessarily. But if an item is to enter the stage, what I interpret it as is that it must be orange, there must be high contrast, nothing in the physical world on the stage can become blurred, only screens have that privilege(?) to have things blend together.

The Power Struggle Between Dan & the Circle

Once Dan has begun directly conversing with the audience, the rules of the space are:

(1) Dan On Stage acts, the design elements react (not including the Circle)

(2) The Circle and Dan have a symbiotic relationship, as neither have complete control over the other & react to what each other are doing

(3) The icons are our guides in understanding the sectioning done throughout the show

(4) Having “One Good Night” is the goal to reach at the end of the piece

As a person, as well as discussed throughout the show, we know that Dan has a contentious relationship with the Internet. It is what has given him his living but has also caused some of his worst moments mentally (2012? I don’t know her). It is the space in which lets him have an audience who have mainly showed him support, but also the space that has fed the cynicism that fuels his clinical depression. There lies in the way in which the Circle exists on the stage & looms over Dan in the background. It’s a necessary evil of what appears on the screen.

Why do I then say that the design elements are reacting? Well, if we remove the Circle from the equation, the lights, sounds effects, and props are all cued off of something Dan does like the clown honk. However, the Circle sometimes cues off what Dan does, but sometimes instigates what Dan speaks to. That especially is evident when video clips play that invoke what media Dan has been contending with on the Internet and the consequences of those things.

The Circle exists throughout both Act One & Act Two, but only becomes passive to the piece when Dan directly shows vulnerability & the removal of protective irony. Calvina spoke to this when discussing the costume choice of him opening the jumpsuit in Act Two to show the orange tank underneath.

Cubes as Articulators

Oh Creator did I have to dig deep into my brain for this term of articulators. So my directing instructor had some key terms that I think I don’t think are universally used, even by American theatre directors or at least in academic settings. She defined articulators to basically be elements that helped give almost like checkpoints for the progression of a throughline in a show. For WAD, that is easily those orange cubes.

When static is displayed on the Circle’s screen each time we transition to a new section, it is not the typical emulation of TV static, it is that sea of orange squares. It is an articulation of those fear, issues, concerns, all those pinpoints Dan speaks to why he says “We’re All Doomed”.

That’s why there is the culmination of the orange cubes falling on him, when he reaches the top of the stairs at the end of Act One. When he circles back to the same stage picture of him at the top, it can been considered a repetition of the prophetic imagery I pointed out from the opening sequence. What changes is that the orange squares enter the physical world, falling onto Dan. He can no longer say they live in his head. They are here and stay in the space until the end of the show. In Act One, they are the looming issues that signal the Apocalypse. In Act Two, they are the rubble that must be sorted through.

Calvina was the one who named it rubble and the cubes as representations of Dan’s problems. To have the audience actually able to take a cube home, she argued, would be symbolic of the audience helping carry that weight. While I’d love that, I mentioned in my tags on her post that I think mentally, that rubble would still be at his feet, even with taking home that visual metaphor. This is Dan we’re talking about, and with personal responsibility being a topic of the show, while it’s not his burden to bear alone, he does have to recognize it exists.

I think the repetition of the prophetic imagery comes to its climax when in the aftermath found in Act 2, voting who to fire into space can and does end up with him being sent by the audience. It represents an understanding of where he exists now from where he did at 18 in terms of social, political, and economic access and the possibilities of his influence. There is a responsibility there that ties to how he can move in the world now publicly, so why wouldn’t he have an existential crisis?

It is a Comedy Though, Right?

This is hundred percent comedy, and obvious dark humor at that. As a director, I love comedy, especially this type, because when an audience gets to laugh, the armor gets stripped away. They have no built-up resistance that let’s any uncomfortable point be heard effectively. It’s why the end’s vulnerability is effective, because we have already joked and laughed about our pains and our desire for escapism. Now we are able to move on into a place of reflection.

To underline why I say this is not stand-up comedy is that Dan has made it a stage show, just one that has comedy as a vehicle for telling this “story”. His interactions with his audience, through both quips based on audience reactions or “heckling” as well as explicitly asking for input into who to shot to space or what to add as a mad lib (generic brand for law purposes), are about being blended into the loose narrative constructed already, not actually to be reactionary like most crowd work I associate with stand-up comedy.

If anything, I could argue that it could be considered a comedy special that “Dan On Stage” is trying to make, but there is actually conflict being introduced that disrupts his set (both the comedy one and the physical one). There is clearly a showing of meta, as Dan makes sure to share thoughts on the creation of the show, the reactions from his overall show branding & imagery, the use of the lift because it was expensive to have. Dan’s comedy style can never be told without reference to behind the scenes, because if this is a creative means to process feelings, there are things about the show & its making that impact what needs to be processed too. It is also related to how his work is strengthened by acknowledging the two-way street of being in a parasocial relationship with his audience.

Can We Have One Good Night?

Another term central to what my directing teacher spoke of was the “Core”, usually a question, though not always, that motivated what was being explored over the course of a theatre piece. At the top, as Dan on Stage exaggerates that love doesn’t exist (which Dan refutes as being an actual belief of his during the afterparty) and other sardonic phrases, he also states he wants to give his audience one good night, because he recognizes the escapism his audience finds in his solo and joint content. We’re All Doomed’s Core is “can we just have one good night, even in the midst of the horrors we have outside of these theatre doors?”. But I would also say that in terms of where his writing was at the time of WAD’s inception and the naming of his mental health book as You Will Get Through This Night, it feels more like Dan himself has been grappling with a Core of “can I have one good night? Or a full 24 hours where I feel mainly happy when all I am bombarded with about the world is suffering?” I think night can be both literal, since we know he has had sleep issues, and metaphorical, as the night can represent this depressive episode he was writing himself out of.

When the mood tracker gets discussed in the last portion of WAD, to see a sea of neutral or uninterested emojis demonstrates when he took the time to do it, the answer that night was “no, not really” 😕. The main one mentioned is the ritual of “Fry Day” he has with Phil (sidenote: why are these British men not calling it “Chip Day”, since this ritual falls on a Saturday?), which is a rare smiley face. The question he likely has then is “can I ever have a good night again?”

So for him to then turn to his own videos during one of those nights, to a video where he states his famous “embrace the void and have the courage to exist,” that showcases what I mentioned of his best work being written for himself, in this case, a future version of himself.

Ending Sequence: Where Do We Land?

When the Circle does not display any media, it again shows the orange square motif, but after mentioning his own video, he turns to his audience for glimpses of what joy exists even in the face of Doom. The Circle changes into a display of different submitted clips showcasing this joy and hope that Dan was clearly looking for throughout this piece. He walks towards the top of the stairs to witness these clips. I cannot for my life at this point having now been separate from it for about a month, but I believe before the submitted media sequence, he states the famous line again of “Embrace the Void and Have the Courage to Exist”. With this last thing spoken, it gives that emphasis needed to take in the message emotionally and then witness what the Void (in this case the Circle) can offer.

A Good Director Should Go Unnoticed

When someone is not versed in theatrical directing, if the audience cannot tell what was a choice by the director or even consider the director themselves, this is weirdly a good sign. It means that it feels natural to what they are witnessing and to the messages that are meant to be communicated to the audience. As someone who also works in government, it feels very similar, as only bad work is evident to the general public. Obviously that is not true for everyone, but is an overall trait I think impacts both an understanding of public service and directing.

I am not familiar with any of the work of Ed Stambollouian, who through research, looks like he has done work with comedians like Joe Lycett (who I am also not familiar with) and directed TATINOF, but also more stripped down, exploratory theatre. Through a quick review of his portfolio, one, I am not shocked that Dan tapped him to assist with directing since there is a familiarity and two, his background tells me he knows how to direct for writer-performers, which is what comedians really are at the end of the day.

To direct for those who are doing one-person shows that they both wrote and performed, it is especially tricky to have the artist hand the reins over to the director. The director in this case acts as the artist’s eyes, because an artist cannot clone themselves. It is impossible for them to wear multiple hats at once, where they can give quality, objective feedback to themselves while also doing a full out performance. For Ed to be someone Dan has worked with before, there is already an established understanding of each other’s work styles, and a trust that otherwise would have to be built up before the work can truly begin to finalize the piece.

In short, Ed Stambollouian and the creative team on We’re All Doomed did an incredible job bringing what I understand Dan intended when he started writing this down in isolation. And @danielhowell you whole-heartedly deserve to call this your magnum opus. What can I say (sorry I can't help lovingly poking fun at you), your artistry shines throughout the show. I hope this too can be something your future self can turn back to.

🧡

(bonus) Thoughts on Orange Carpet & the Phil element

I didn’t fully rewatch the orange carpet, just to keep myself on task & not bring Phil too much into the main reflection without explicit reference in the show, but hearing Dan go “I’m alive in 3, 2…” made me laugh both times. He understands that we just want to know he has a pulse, ya know? Also them pretending it totally was live, when those fools (affectionate) cannot run a real live broadcast from their home for their lives. It just ran too smoothly, esp. in the transitions, for it to be anything but some very, very light editing on one improvised take they did. But I always support them in their acting, no matter how bad, like with DITL Australia’s opener or pretending there were not two apartments or that Google Feud being back was unplanned or Dil being pregnant with a statistically rare alien child or Phil living in a tiled, cramped bedroom or...

Also, Dan’s little laugh at the end of Phil’s sign-off is so fond it hurts. It also hurt that the VOD was hard to scrub through, so another deduction for the Kiswe platform.

Anyway, I’m glad that Dan was able to find space outside of the Dan & Phil branding of the 2010s as well as the image he was forced to manufacture for his YouTube presence, but also realize that with having a core audience that wants him to simply be happy, he can recognize that Phil is part of the things that make him happy. And can do so openly.

He is his own person, but it has been clearly emphasized now that Dan has no interest in not acknowledging that Phil always is and will be part of his present and future. He has made work like WAD & "Gay and Not Proud" to explore his way of thinking without the support of Phil present in the filmed/performed aspect. Dan acknowledges this intention, which is evident with him shooing away Phil at the beginning of “Gay and Not Proud” to process it alone.

It is also evident with the ending of “Daniel & Depression” and the WAD end credit of remote crisis manager showcasing the caretaking role Phil often plays in Dan’s life. But we know that caretaking is reciprocal, considering Phil's tactics with glue as well as his continuing health issues and anxieties. Dan has seen who he is without Phil by his side everyday in the public eye & has no interest in maintaining that Phil is absent for public projections.

I obviously do not know Dan Howell, or anything about him outside what exists on the internet. But in performance studies, there is a foundational understanding that there is no way to not be performing in some way during your day-to-day. Performing is not inherently a bad thing, as there are different roles you take on in your life, where how I engage at work is different from how I am hanging out with friends. This also has basis in gender studies, such as ideas that you can perform your gender "wrong". What has been so interesting to me in this phandom renaissance is the way Dan and Phil each perform as themselves in front of the camera now. What they share out and the layers they include--or choose to not remove--have been stated by them explicitly to be the most authentic they have ever been, without obviously removing their right to privacy. During the height of the glass closet that was their 2018 content, I remember thinking that it was going to be the most they would show us in the vain of "if you know, you know, and we know who will know". After the coming out videos of 2019, obviously that's not true, but the return of dapg has signaled a message of "we know you know, if you've been in the know" while veiled in a way that is not immediately perceivable by those who are casually engaging with their content. It is an authentic portrayal of themselves without filter, while also providing themselves space to not have to announce everything to the world. When you are in the know, it definitely targeted and causes psychic damage, but I am ready for anything and everything they throw our way.

#we’re all doomed #wad spoilers #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dnp #dan and phil #dan howell #theatre analysis #performance studies #theatre director

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bi-bard · 1 year

Text

The Show - Graham Dunne Imagine [Daisy Jones & the Six]

Title: The Show

Pairing: Graham Dunne X Reader

Word Count: 1,155 words

Warning(s): none

Summary: (Y/n) goes to Graham's gig and writes a review that will change everything.

Author's Note: I am sorry for how long this took. Shit's getting crazy on my end.

PART ONE [Flirting] HERE

PART TWO [Breakfast] HERE!

--------------------------

Walking into Filthy McNasty's was interesting.

I hadn't found myself in a venue like that in a while now. I had missed it. There was a lot less pressure when looking at smaller places like this.

I was pointed to a table with a folded nametag on the table. I chuckled at the way my name had been scribbled onto it. I dropped myself down in the booth, pocketing the paper.

There were a few minutes of calmness before a girl stood next to my table. I looked up at her.

"Hi, sorry," she said. "I just... I like taking photos for the band. Mind if I sit here and try to get some shots?"

I motioned over to the other side of the booth. "Be my guest."

"I'm Camila," she introduced herself.

"(Y/n)," I replied, opening my small journal to take some notes.

"Oh..."

I looked back at her to see her looking at me with a somewhat stunned expression. I chuckled a bit.

"I hope that look is a good reaction," I joked.

She slowly nodded. "Yeah... Yeah, of course. Graham... Graham mentioned you."

"I see... All good things?"

"Oh, absolutely, he wouldn't shut up about you," she promised before quickly backtracking. "Not that he was being creepy about it. He just thinks that you're really amazing. He really admires you."

I chuckled again; I had hints that it was a little bit more than admiration. "It's alright, Camila. I promise. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," she seemed to relax.

"How do you know them?"

"I... Billy and I have been together for a while."

"The lead singer?"

"Yeah."

"You... followed them out here?"

She nodded.

"You really believe in them."

"With everything I have."

My heart felt like it swelled a bit at the sentiment. It was cute to see.

"I hope you like the show."

I leaned back a little further into my seat. "So do I."

The show started a few moments later.

Billy was a natural lead singer. I don't mean that he just sounded good - he did- but I meant that he acted like it was his place. His calling. His energy took up twice as much room as his physical form. He clearly loved the attention... I silently hoped that he loved the music as much as he loved the attention.

I did everything in my power to split the rest of my attention equally between the band's different members and the crowd.

It was difficult. Graham had become such a distraction to me that I had trouble pulling my attention away from him. He seemed to notice me at some point, a grin pulling a little bit further on his lips. That was when I had to pretend to look down and take notes.

I hated feeling like this. I had spent so long thinking about the kiss that almost was that I couldn't even look at him without imagining what could have happened if I had let his lips touch mine.

I did everything in my power to focus on the performance itself.

And I did a pretty good job after a while.

It wasn't until I sat down to work on the actual review.

That's when I realized that Graham had been such a major distraction. I couldn't tell if it was annoying or if I was... comfortable. It was nice to have something... someone to think about that wasn't merely for my work.

It took ages to get the review done.

But once it was done, it was a piece of art.

I had always been careful with my work, but I hadn't been so meticulous in years. I could only hope that it did what I needed it to.

It would be a few days before I got a call from Graham Dunne again.

It was brief. I don't think I let him speak. I just told him to meet me where we met before.

He was waiting there when I showed up. I saw his eyes light up a bit when he spotted me. That made me nervous. When was the last time someone truly seemed that excited about seeing me?

I took a deep breath as I walked over.

"Hi," he said, standing up from the table.

"Hi," I replied, grinning at him. "You saw the review."

"I did," he nodded. "You really think we're that good?"

"I probably wouldn't meet you if I lied about it."

He stammered for a moment. "Y-You make a good point there."

I chuckled.

Our breakfast had an air hanging over it. A cloud of knowing and anticipation. It was strange for me. Both comforting and nerve-wracking.

But Graham had told me the truth.

He waited.

He waited to make any kind of move until we were back in that parking lot again, standing next to my car.

There had been a pause between us before he spoke up, "The review is out..."

"It is..."

He stepped forward, grinning a little more as his eyes jumped around to every part of my face. I took a deep breath, feeling the nervousness that had been in my stomach all day coming back in stronger waves.

When he went to lean in and close the remaining distance, I felt myself truly panic for the first time in years. I leaned back just a bit. Graham's eyebrows furrowed for a moment.

"You do this... I can't review anything else that your band does," I said. "You understand that, right?"

"I think we'll be fine," he replied. "Said it yourself, didn't you? We're a pretty talented group."

I chuckled. "I guess I did."

He grinned a little wider before leaning forward again. He pressed his lips to mine, moving to cup the sides of my face as he did so. I touched his arms as I kissed him back.

It was at this moment that everything seemed to fall into place.

I had spent a long time refusing to entertain things like this. I had been so focused on music and my career that I had stopped entertaining anything that I had truly wanted.

But this.

I wanted this.

I wanted to entertain this.

I leaned back first, grinning at him.

"That was nice," I mumbled to him.

"Yeah, it was," he replied.

I stepped away from him.

"What now?" he called as I made it to my car. "I... I just keep calling your office so I can take you to breakfast?"

I chuckled. "I'll be at your next show. We can talk more then."

He didn't respond.

"I'll see you then, Graham."

If he spoke up as I got in my car, then I didn't hear him. I would have listened a little closer if I hadn't been so focused on how fast my heart was still beating after that kiss.

I bit my lip.

What a strange and brilliant couple of days.

--------------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#graham dunne fanfiction #graham dunne x reader #graham dunne imagine #daisy jones and the six x reader #daisy jones and the six fanfiction #daisy jones and the six imagine #imagine #fanfiction #x reader

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missmaywemeetagain · 1 year

Note

Hi,

for your prompt request.

💻 angst for Austin. There was a short lived rumour he'd perform at the Oscars. I had this in my head for months, that he'd perform the in memoriam section (what Lenny Kravitz did this year). Maybe with the beautiful Elvis rendition of BRIDGE OVER TROUBLED WATER .

Obviously that's a daunting thing, so maybe some praise kink that leads to more at rehearsals? With whoever your comfortable with writing this but if live to read it with Polly Bennett his movement coach.

Xxx

Ohhhh, dearest Nonnie, did you give me a challenge! It took me a minute to try and get into Austin's head because I've never written him before, so thank you for your patience! 💖

I really ended up leaning into that praise kink, and this turned out waaay filthier than I intended, but 'twas where my muse took me lol. The Bridge Over Trouble Water lyrics actually were a bit of an inspiration, so the song appears more figuratively than literally. I hope it's okay that it ended up being so much smut vs. storyline, but it is Austin and Polly! Thank you for your request and I hope you enjoy, When Tears Are In Your Eyes, darlin'! 💋

TW: This is utterly filthy. Minors BE GONE! 18+ only! Really, there is so much SEXXX, but, like, in a sweet, subby Austin way. Panic attacks. Negative self-talk. PRAISE KINK--so much praise kink... Sub space? Not as edited as usual! Hopefully this isn't too much of a mess cuz I'm a little nervous about writing about Austin (and Polly!)...I'm definitely not an Austin expert 👀

When Tears Are in Your Eyes

The first time was a fluke. The panic before he’d had to go out and really perform as Elvis for the first time, for the ’68 Special section, was utterly paralyzing and he’d needed something or someone to break him out of his mind prison, someone telling him he was going to be okay, that he was going to do a great job, that he was good enough. Desperate times had called for desperate measures.

Baz and Olivia and even Catherine had tried help him shake his nerves, but no matter the massive amount of support and encouragement from them all, he was convinced there was no way he could do Elvis justice. That he would fail completely, not only tanking his own career, but also Baz’s, and disappoint millions of Elvis’ fans across the world in the process. To say he’d worked himself into a frenzy was an understatement.

When Polly came in, his amazing and fiery movement coach, he was convinced she wouldn’t be able to stave off this horror building inside him, this pure terror that he was a complete fraud. But they’d worked so many hours together, one on one, that she could sense something in him that he could not. When she’d embraced him and told him he was going to be alright, that everything would be fine, he almost broke into pieces at his friend’s words. He’d sniffled into her blonde hair, his Elvis makeup running, clutching at her like she was a life raft.

And then it had happened. As she whispered words of encouragement into the shell of his ear, praising the commitment he had to the role and how he was already doing Elvis’ legacy proud, he’d felt it. Unfortunately, pressed up against her in that tight black leather suit, it didn’t take long for her to feel it, too.

He was totally mortified, of course, chalking it up to his anxiousness and heightened emotions, and it sent him into another kind of panic because Polly was his colleague and his friend and oh my god, he didn’t want to ruin any of that. Whimpering in her hair, he wanted to pull away and hide even more than he had before, but she just kept breathing praise into his ear. As if he wasn’t rock hard against her.

It hadn’t taken long for his body to go off the rails, his hips rolling into her ever so slightly, the friction of those damn pants coupled with what she was saying arousing him to the point of bursting. But she didn’t flinch or move away, she just kept her arms around him tight and let him grind and whimper into her.

It wasn’t enough. He was a sniveling mess, terrified of going out there and humiliating himself, and now he was insanely aroused, his mind starting to white out, and he needed release but the dry humping just wasn’t enough.

Somehow, she’d known exactly what he needed and for some unknown reason, hadn’t hesitated in the slightest in giving it to him. When she’d popped the button on the pants, unzipping him just enough to reach her tiny hand in, he’d nearly passed out from the way she’d groped his too-sensitive cock through his underwear.

“Doing such a good job for me, Aus, always doing so good for me. Always putting in your all. You’re gonna be perfect,” she’d whispered as she pumped him expertly. His mind went blank, hearing nothing but her praise, and he surrendered quickly. Shuddering violently, he crested and felt the hot spurts of his release coat the inside of his briefs.

“That’s it, let it go, Aus. Cumming so well,” she’d praised him, talking him through his orgasm, then released him with a genuine smile, pressing her forehead to his as he tried to regain his senses.

It wrecked him just enough to break him free of his anxiety. He’d gasped in both refraction and shock and Polly had just patted his cheek sweetly and handed him tissues to clean himself up, like there wasn’t something completely bonkers that happened between them. Like she hadn’t just jerked him off and successfully made him feel like he could go out there now and be Elvis. Like his confidence hadn’t been restored by the magic power of her words and her hand.

Things had happened so intensely and fast after that with filming that he’d barely had time to think on it. When he’d stripped out of the suit and his messed underwear later that night, he’d actually laughed, thinking of the story of how Elvis had orgasmed in his leather suit as well.

How very ‘method’ of me, he’d thought with a chuckle.

He’d also been confused and embarrassed, but Polly acted like nothing strange had occurred at all. No lingering glances or silly winks. No uncomfortable silences or awkward words. Business as usual.

So, he’d moved on. It was a fluke. A moment of weakness.

Except now, backstage during rehearsals for the Oscars, he finds himself in that same completely panicked headspace for the first time since the ’68 Special. His agent had somehow convinced him to agree to singing “Bridge Over Troubled Water” during the “In Memorial” section of the show. But that was months ago, before he was exhausted from all the award shows and press and schmoozing and the traveling across continents, all the while trying not to let his grief for Lisa Marie (and the residual grief it triggered about his mom) consume him.

He is terrified. Stomach churning and palms sweating, he shakes all over, a leftover effect of those pieces of Elvis still lingering within him. Singing in front of people was never something he’d been able to do until Elvis. But even then, he’d been playing a character. It was so much more vulnerable to get out there singing as himself. In front of a room filled with the biggest names in Hollywood, in front of his heroes, and for millions on live television, no less.

No pressure or anything.

Sure, they’d convinced him to sing briefly on SNL, but that was still under the guise of Elvis and it had been only a small part of the farewell for Cecily, the focus being on her, not just him. He’d been nervous, to be sure, but it had been different. Not this. Nothing like this.

Of course, he knows the song in his sleep, it being one of his favorites to listen to while prepping for Elvis. But as much as the critics and the world loved his performance, and as much as he tries to draw upon the superstar’s confidence, he is not Elvis Presley.

His shallow and quick breaths as he waits for his turn to rehearse makes him think that he might pass out if he keeps freaking out at this rate. Forcing himself to breath in through his nose and out through his mouth, part of the dynamic breathwork he’d learned, he manages to keep from ending up on the floor. But his mind is still whirling and his stomach is churning.

You idiot, you’re just gonna go out there and embarrass yourself in front of everyone you admire. What a failure you’ll be, his inner critic berates him. Stupid fucking fool.

He can’t do this. There’s no way in hell.

Austin feels the tears prick in his eyes. Oh, good, now I’m gonna cry, too. Perfect.

It’s then that he feels the small arms encircle his waist and he knows.

He knows it’s her.

He’s not sure how Pol managed to get backstage—the security is insane—but like a miracle, she’s here. “Come on, Aus. You’re going to be okay,” she says quietly.

Gently, she pulls him back, back, back through the wings of the stage, whispering words along the way (“You can do this, hun, and will do it well. I know you will.”) and into an empty dressing room. He follows more than willingly, letting the tears free fall down his cheeks now.

He finds himself in that strange little space again where all he hears and wants and needs is her, her reassurances and praises, and she gives them liberally.

Polly gently pushes him into the room, closing the door and engaging the lock behind her. His brain is overloaded, his body buzzing with anxiety, but her words leave him wanting and he feels his cock twitch in his pants. All rational thought is abandoned, his body beginning to take over, and he doesn’t have the strength to hold himself back.

Austin steps into her, pressing her back against the door, nuzzling his head down into her neck. She lets him, her hands running softly, comfortingly, through his hair, causing a low moan to escape his lips.

“I-I-I need…please…” he begs through hiccupping little sobs.

“I know, shh, I know.”

Then, she proceeds to murmur at him all the ways he is good and talented and true. He can’t help rolling his now-aching cock into her belly, but she does not falter.

The sensations are all too much this time, even more than the first time, and he is running his hand up her bare leg and under her skirt before his mind even registers what he’s trying to do, all the lines he is going to cross. Because he has to do something, something he knows he’s good at, something he knows he won’t fail.

And by the little squeak that turns into a mewl when he reaches the apex between her thighs, the thin cotton covering her warm little sex, he knows he’s right. Slipping his fingers under, he runs them through her already dampening folds and up to circle the sensitive nub at the top.

“T-this o-okay?” he stutters out, needing to know he’s doing right by her.

“Yes, Aus, that’s perfect, oh god,” she moans breathlessly in his ear.

The praise fully short-circuits his brain, sending him into that white space where his career expectations and fears don’t touch him like they did before.

Please, please, please…is all he thinks and he realizes eventually that he’s panting it out loud, ignoring the straining in his pants because he wants to get her off, he needs to please her, and if he does, everything will somehow be okay.

He slides his fingers down through her softness, and finding her wet and ready for him, turns her around to face the door and slides two fingers into her heat, his thumb working circles on her clit. Pumping, his fingers search for that spongy spot, the one he thinks will make her keen and pleased, and when he finds it, he curls his fingertips into it.

“That’s it…just like that,” she pants, then she bucks back, her ample ass giving him some much-needed friction. The sensation is almost too much, causing him to press her into the door, his throbbing erection making him desperate.

“Oh, my good, good boy. Oh god. Oh g-god, Aus, you’re gonna make me cum,” she chokes out and it’s music to his ears, this approval and proof of his goodness. “That’s p-perfect, you’re perfect!”

Her cry couples the fluttering of her walls and the dam breaks, arousal flooding onto his hand. But her release sends his body into overdrive, and he pulls his fingers out of her, leaving her moaning. Frantically, he pulls her soaked panties down her legs and unbuckles his pants, letting them slide down and free his cock.

“Please, I-I-I…can I?” he whimpers at her.

She nods. “Yes, yes!”

He is in shambles. It only takes a second before he’s rubbing his cock between her legs, coating himself in her slick, and they both moan at the sensation.

Going into that white space, the one he only gets to when with her, all he can think is please, please, I need, I need, and it causes him to rush a little. He pushes up into her comforting and plush folds, meeting a little resistance on the way because he’s thick and she’s small but oh god, she’s so tight around him.

Through the hazy fog of his brain, he hears her pretty little gasps as she adjusts to his girth, but when he bottoms out in her wet heat, it feels too good and a fresh panic hits him. This awareness of what he is doing to her—spearing her and splitting her in two—and the thought that he might be doing it wrong or hurting her in some way has him sobbing, “Pol,” as he clutches at her waist.

“It’s okay, you’re perfect, Aus,” she moans, encouraging him. “Now move those hips, just like I taught you.”

Relief and fresh arousal floods over him. He knows this. He can do it in his sleep. Cock twitching inside her, he starts to move, rolling those narrow hips of his smoothly, precisely, just as he’d practiced for hours and hours prepping for Elvis.

Polly lets out a low, pleased groan as he does so, and it fills him with pleasure because he’s pleasing her, he’s doing it right. With each thrust, she coos at him words of praise and he eats them up like he’s starving. The terror and the trepidation are banished into the shadows, consumed by that white space, the space where he is perfect and good and doing everything just right.

He could stay here forever, surrounded by light and warmth and comfort, buried deep in his friend.

His smooth thrusts become pointed because the more she praises his work, the hotter he becomes, like he’s burning up from the inside in the best way possible. She writhes below him, pushing back into him, the sound of his balls slapping her weepy, perfect little cunt sending every ounce of blood straight into his dick.

One hand slams next to hers on the door, using it as leverage to pound into her. Deeper, need to be deeper, oh fuck, oh Jesus. The other grips desperately at her waist, anchoring himself to her so he doesn’t fly too far away into that glorious white space.

Her voice does that, too, her breathless sighs of, “Yes, yes, you’re doing so good, giving me that perfect cock so well, Aus,” are pushing him headlong to the brink.

Reaching around under her skirt, he finds her puffy clit and works it furiously, even in his blinding fog knowing he wants her to come over the edge with him. She keens and he pistons erratically at the sound.

“Fuck, you’re gonna be a good boy and come with me now, right Aus?” she pants, taking him like she was made to do so.

“Mhm,” is all he can manage, biting his lower lip and nodding. Heat floods him, overwhelming his senses as he fucks into her, needing every inch to remind him who he is. He begins to shudder when he feels her walls clench tighter around him.

“Oh, fuck, you’re g-gonna make me cum again, Aus! Oh, YES,” she moans, fluttering around him, and he shatters into little pieces right behind her.

He’s too far gone to pull out, selfishly claiming her and painting her walls white with his seed. Relishing in her warmth, he clings to her in his climax, not realizing the tears of relief streaming down his face.

Every ounce of tension in his body releases. The only sound in the room is their heavy breathing as they recover. She lets him linger inside her, seemingly aware of how far away he’s gone.

Eventually, the white space dims and he comes back into himself, sliding his softening cock out of her. He kisses her softly at the place where her neck meets her shoulder.

“I—Thank you,” he whispers, voice low and gravely, unsure of what to say, unsure of how to make her understand that she managed to banish his self-hating demons away right when he needed her.

She turns around and pulls his head down, pressing her lips to his forehead. “Anything for you, Aus.”

His now-relaxed body fills with warmth at that.

Finding a box of tissues, he grabs a clump, then falls reverently to his knees in front of her with the intent of cleaning her up. He pulls up the hem of her dress, revealing the short thatch of hair at the top of her pussy, worked swollen and red from him.

“You don’t have to do that, Aus,” she breathes. He can sense the blush in her voice, a modesty that was absent when she was trying to help him through his panic.

“Hush.” He taps her legs open and she relents quickly, unable to deny him. Pink and slick and bare to him, he looks up at her from below and adds, “You’re beautiful.”

She flushes pink and bashfully looks away.

His initial task to clean her abandoned, he watches in a kind of awe and pride the way his spent arousal, mixed with her own, leaks from her tight, little hole. He abandons the tissues on the floor. So entranced is he that he can’t stop himself from running his fingers through her folds and the slick.

She gasps from above, which quickly turns into a punctuated sigh when he leans forward and softly kisses her oversensitive nub. Fueled by her reaction and the deliciously musky taste of her on his lips, he flicks his tongue there.

She nearly doubles over, her hands flying into his sandy locks.

His body, still recovering from their sex, hums with pleasure. He laps at her again, and again. He can’t seem to help himself because she just makes him feel so good.

She shudders over him, trying to still his head. “Aus, I can’t,” she whines. This was obviously not part of her plan to calm him.

He smiles against her clit, then pulls back to watch as he uses two long fingers to push his dripping arousal back up into her tight heat.

The sound of her loud moan resonates in the small space as she falls back against the door, eyes closing with pleasure.

He holds there for a moment before he turns his attention back to her puffy, oversexed clit. Licking, sucking, and kissing it, he teases her. He works her into a frenzied, whimpering mess above him.

He pulls away briefly. “Am I doing good?” he asks with a hopeful little smile, still needing her approval. He scissors his fingers, sliding them in and out of her soaking and nearly-wrecked pussy.

All she can seem to do is nod frantically. That thrill of praise runs through him again.

Diving back in, he relishes the taste of her, of them, adding a third digit into her stretched hole. The noises are obscene, the squelching of their combined arousal filling the room as he fucks her relentlessly with his fingers. Her mewling whimpers let him know he’s still satisfying her. He can feel himself hardening again, but it’s an afterthought to her pleasure.

“Cum for me, baby, let me make you cum. Come on now,” he urges her.

Once he curls his fingers into that soft spot inside her and sucks on her nub just so, it doesn’t take long until she goes rigid and comes undone with a panting shudder. Again.

Austin strokes her through her climax then releases her with one last soft kiss to her mound. Then he finally uses those tissues to clean her gently. She shudders with overstimulation.

“You are too good, Austin Butler,” she gasps out.

“Promise?” he says, only half joking as they both put themselves back together.

Polly grabs him by the cheeks and stares directly into his big, blue eyes. “Aus, you are one of the best, most talented men I have ever known. Anything you choose to do, you give it your all. You will do well,” she says seriously. “Now, go out there and kick some ass for me, will you?” She smiles and gives him a kiss on the cheek.

He can’t help but grin from ear to ear, his doubts banished.

And even though he is nervous and emotional the night of the awards, he thinks of that sublime and calm white space where he is always good enough. And when he sings at the show, he gives it his all, knowing that Polly is watching.

#Madi's get to know me gala 💗#when tears are in your eyes #request #austin butler #austin butler smut #austin butler elvis #elvis 2022 #elvis movie #elvis presley #elvis #austin x polly #austin butler fic #austin butler fanfic #austin butler x reader

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wake-me-up-inside-imagines · 11 months

Note

Could I get a haikyuu one with asahi and daichi with an S/O who's in theater. Possibly, their next play would be a musical.

Of course! I'm writing this as the readers an actor/actress in the play, so I apologize if you meant for them to be in a different role. I hope you enjoy!

Daichi and Asahi with reader who's in a musical

gn! reader

Warnings: none

Daichi:

-Prepare to answer a lot of questions because Daichi knows absolutely nothing about theatre, let alone musicals

-But he wants to! He knows how important theatre is to you so he wants to understand it and be able to have conversations about it with you

-Thinks it's so cool that your an actor, he can't imagine how much talent it takes to act out personalities that aren't your own and to sell it well

-If you have rehearsal the same day as his volleyball practices and he ends early, he'll come watch you for the rest of your rehearsal

-If you need a practice partner he's down to help whenever!

-...Just don't expect him to do it well, since he can't act for shit

-You sang a song from your upcoming musical to him once, and he's in a w e

-He thinks you have an amazing singing voice, and now he can't wait to hear the rest of the musical

-Probably starts asking you to sing more around him since he loves your voice so much

-While musicals aren't really his thing, he'll gladly listen to recordings and soundtracks with you, he's just happy you're happy!

-On your musicals opening night, he gets front row seats and invites the entire team

-He's your biggest hypeman, the team coming in close second

-He watches your performance with intensely, he's afraid if he takes his eyes away for even a second he'll miss part of your brilliant acting

-Once the musical's over, he rushes straight backstage to give you a bearhug

-He's so proud of you, and he thinks you did amazing!

-Brags about you to all his friends, he needs to share how amazing you are with anyone who will listen

-He's so proud of you and he tells you everyday, he can't wait to see your next theatre project!

Asahi:

-He probably knows a little about musicals through clips he's seen on the internet, but it's not something he's super knowledgeable about

-So expect a decent amount of questions from him too!

-Once he finds out what musical you're doing, he'll secretly look it up and learn everything he can so he can have more in-depth conversations with you about it

-Listens to the soundtrack to so now he knows all the music by heart

-He'll also help you practice if you ask, but unlike Daichi he gets a little more into character the more he helps

-He really admires your confidence, he can't imagine being able to act and sing in front of all those people

-Picks you up from ever rehersal so you can discuss how it's going, what part your focusing on, stuff like that

-He may or may not ask you what the costumes are like, he's interested in fashion so he's curious how costume design works for live performances

-He's too shy to admit it, but he loves hearing you sing and wishes you would sing more around him

-Once opening night comes closer, he's worrying enough for the both of you

-He has full confidence in you, but he worries about everything else that could go wrong

-What if a set piece falls? What if an actor slips or messes up their lines? What if a costume rips? What if there's a screaming baby the whole performance and it distracts everyone on stage?

-It's not even his play and he's acting like a worried crew member

-But when it's actually opening night, he's so excited for you!

-He may invite the team if they promise not to be loud and embarrassing, but otherwise he'll just invite Suga and Daichi to come with him

-He still needs to show you off to someone after all!

-He's mesmerized the whole performance, practicing lines with you is one thing, but it's totally different seeing you act in costume, on stage, with a set and other actors with you

-When it's over, he cannot stop complementing your performance, he's totally enchanted lol

-Asahi can't wait to see what you do next!

(Sorry that this was shorter, I don't know as much about theatre as I should considering how many of my friends are theatre kids lmao)

#x reader #haikyu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu #daichi sawamura x reader #daichi x reader #daichi imagine #asahi azumane #asahi x reader #asahi azumane x reader #asahi imagine

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idololivine · 7 months

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because I am me as a person (i.e. someone who was classically trained in singing and honestly had a good shot at professional opera if I wanted it) I have also. been idly daydreaming about an opera house AU

Olivine as this child prodigy-slash-rising star within the opera world; 25 is, in the grand scheme of opera, young. careers often don't fully launch until a singer is in their 30s because the voice takes time to mature.

but Olivine, having participated in church choir since he was old enough to read sheet music, got picked up young because he was so clearly talented, and then spent the next two-ish decades being pressured towards professional opera as a career while being told that his voice was a gift from God

except... deep down, he doesn't love performing. or, he loves performing, but he doesn't love it enough for everything surrounding it; the auditions, the freelance schedule, the sheer pressure of it all.

but he can't admit that to himself, because he's so painfully aware of how privileged he is. how many people could afford the training he had? the language lessons, the acting lessons? how many people can say their parents support their singing career this strongly? how many people have the sheer talent? he's met so many who had this dream and just couldn't cut it, one way or another. doesn't he owe it to them to succeed?

that's a pretty wrong thing to believe, of course. Other Things Happen (not knowing what things happen is always the greatest reason why I don't write plotty fic; I have thoughts about themes and character arcs but not the Actual Happenings) and by the end he decides that he's much happier as a singing teacher, supporting others in their own passions.

B-plot: it's an opera house AU and not an opera AU, which means ballet

Edmond, Dante, and Blade are our local ballet dancers with a play on the themes of privilege in Olivine's main arc

Blade is the opera house's resident choreographer. silly mode Blade is his day to day mode and murder Blade is the flow state he goes into when he's really really focused on his work. he's autistic and dance and choreography is one of the ways in which he really feels like he can truly express himself.

Edmond is very very privileged - legacy dancer with a famous ballerina mom, classes since he was old enough to walk, never a worry about being able to afford new shoes and other ballet gear. (can you tell I don't do ballet?) but he's also conscientious enough to be aware of his privilege, so he puts in more work than most so he can truly earn his place by anyone's measure.

Dante, on the other hand, is an orphan who only managed to get classes via free programs when he was young, and scholarships when he got older. he's had to work insanely hard just to get his foot in the door, and a billion times harder to surpass his peers. he doesn't resent anyone for being plain luckier, but he's not exactly here to make friends, either.

C-plot: other characters are here too

Yakumo is truly an amazing baritone and is magnificent when he gets in the zone, but he's so overwhelmingly anxious that he flubs auditions and holds back rehearsals A Lot

Eiden is... a composer maybe...? I don't know how modern composers function. but I assume it would put him in touch with singers and dancers.

Aster is, the owner of the opera house, or something? Morvay is his sexy secretary.

Quincy is the master carpenter in charge of making sets. extremely underrated but important job. he's not a prideful guy, but it feels fulfilling to create pieces that are so foundational to the shows the opera house puts on.

Kuya is one of those diva singers who's an absolute bitch to work with but they're SO famous that the crew just puts up with the terrible behavior. to his credit, sometimes the stuff he demands indirectly or directly makes the show better. directors hate him.

I don't know how GaruKaru and Rei fit into this actually. they don't translate very easily to a performing arts AU. maybe Rei's a former ballet dancer who sustained an injury that took him out of dance entirely, and now he does sports medicine.

#my posts #writing tag

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here2bbtstrash · 2 years

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HI! I wanted to say I love your idol joonie one shot I enjoyed reading it it was amazing. If only the OC can be invited on tour and ride him backstage before he starts the show.

five minutes (explicit)

genre: smutty lil drabble!! and me popping my request cherry >:)

pairing: namjoon x reader

summary: your fuckbuddy has a graduation gift for you, but he might have overestimated your self-control.

this is a companion fic to my oneshot park and ride! read that one first if you want to get all the references, or don't, i'm not your mom

word count: 2.6k

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ idol verse, fuckbuddies, semi-public sex (aka a quickie in the green room), fingering, unprotected sex, dick-riding, dirty talk, squirting, a 3 second blowjob, joon's dick is still Very Big, ft. tiny cameos from JK and yoongi

A/N: remember when i said i would write this later, i LIED, i'm a LIAR, i wrote it NOW because i really liked the idea (and i was super bored while traveling). ask and you shall receive anon, i hope this is what you were looking for!!!! 💜

this is also on AO3!

~*~

You’re enjoying a quiet Friday night in, basking in the glow of not having to stress about homework for the first time in two years, when a familiar number pops up on your phone.

“So, how does it feel to be done with grad school?” You’re surprised to hear him ask. Maybe the bar is in hell, but his own schedule is busy enough, you didn’t think he’d have the brain space to remember yours, too. “I know you worked hard for it. I’m proud of you.”

“Yep, I finally got my stupid piece of paper.” You say dryly. “Maybe now I can actually get paid enough to get a new car.”

You swear you can hear him smile on the other end of the phone. “Pretty soon you won’t even need me anymore.”

“I thought we discussed last time that I keep you around for one specific reason.” You can’t help yourself. “A very big reason.”

Namjoon laughs softly. “Well, maybe this will help my case. I got you a graduation present.”

Now he’s surprised you twice in under a minute. “I– what?”

“Did you know we have a stop on this tour that’s right by you?”

You do know. The tickets had sold out in approximately four seconds, if your Twitter feed was any indication. You didn’t even try for one; you’re so broke you’d only be able to afford nosebleeds at best anyway, and the thought of being that close but that far from him makes your heart sink in a way you can’t quite understand.

“So I’ve heard. Am I gonna be your Uber driver again?”

“I probably won’t be able to get away, unfortunately.” He says, and you nod, leaning back against the cushions of your couch. Hearing that phrase never sucks any less, but you’re used to it. He’s a busy guy. Sex is nowhere near the top of the priorities list.

“But,” he continues, “I did get you a ticket, if you want it.”

The revelation shocks you, and your stomach turns a little. Better seats would be great, especially for free, but you have other reasons for not being an avid concert-goer.

Namjoon is an incredible performer, they all are, but the thought of standing in a massive crowd where people next to you are loudly obsessing over his thighs and his chest has never sounded particularly appealing. It’s not jealousy; you understand as well as anyone that he’s an attractive man, it’s just… it’s weird.

“Joon,” you start, with no idea how you’re supposed to phrase this. Who turns down a free ticket to a BTS concert?

“It’d be backstage in VIP, okay? I promise, the screaming isn’t so bad there.” Backstage? Your head swims. He pauses for a second, but can clearly tell you’re not convinced, and his tone softens. “I hated the thought of being so close to you and not doing anything about it. I really just want to see you, even if we can’t…” he clears his throat with a half-laugh. “You know, go for a drive.”

You absolutely do not feel like a VIP, but your heart jumps at the thought of seeing him before you can tell it not to.

“Okay,” you say. “I’ll be there.”

He can only chat for a few more minutes before he’s pulled away for the next thing on his schedule. After you hang up, you slide entirely off your couch and onto the floor in a daze, wondering what the hell you just agreed to.

~*~

It turns out attending a concert as a VIP guest is not that far off from your well-worn hotel ritual. You go through the familiar motions, flashing various people your ID and the badge around your neck, and you receive a security escort through the network of hallways that lead into the heart of the stadium.

At security’s direction, you hang a left, past a room where you see racks upon racks of clothes ready and waiting for quick changes, and you’re so distracted that you nearly collide into Jungkook. His eyes widen. “Oh, hi!”

You’ve met most of the members in passing– it’s sort of hard not to– but you’ve always had a particular soft spot for JK. It might have something to do with the time he voluntarily sexiled himself to Taehyung and Jimin’s room for a night so that Namjoon could invite you over. A true friend.

“Hi, Jungkook,” you say with a nervous smile.

“It’s good to see you! Namjoon said you were coming. He’s in the green room if you’re looking for him.” He gestures to a door at the end of the hallway, and you thank him as your pulse starts to race.

You gently push the door open and peek in. Namjoon is sitting alone at a chair in front of the vanity mirror, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his legs. He has headphones on, and his fingers are steepled, pressed to his lips. He’s clearly deep in thought, and a feeling washes over you like you shouldn’t be here, like maybe you should just turn around.

But then he glances over and sees you standing there, and his whole face lights up, those killer dimples on full display.

He slips his headphones off as you step inside; you can’t close the distance between the two of you fast enough. You loop your arms around his neck and he wraps his around your waist, and then you squeak as your feet leave the ground when he fully picks you up.

“Hi,” he says against your ear with a laugh, and when your feet make contact with the floor again, you push up on your tiptoes to kiss him.

Butterflies flutter in your stomach at the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands at the small of your back. Kissing Namjoon standing up doesn’t happen often, and it’s enough to give you a head rush.

His lips linger on yours as his hands travel gently downwards, and then he makes a noise of surprise against your mouth and pulls away.

“Oh my god,” he groans softly, pinching the fabric of your new favorite skirt between his fingers. “You did this on purpose.”

You can’t hide your wicked smile. “It’s possible. You did say you liked it, if I recall correctly.”

You lose your composure as his hands slip under your skirt to grab your ass. You inhale sharply, thankful that you’re alone. Namjoon’s mouth drops to your neck. “God, I wish we had more time,” he groans against your skin.

You should behave. The fact that you can see him and touch him should be more than enough, and you should just be grateful. But he really does make you insatiable. “I can be quick if you can,” you murmur against his ear.

His life-ruiningly big dick hardens against your thigh; you can feel every inch of it straining against the fabric of his pants, and you shift to grind your core against him.

“Fuck,” he hisses. Arousal floods through you at the notion of how close he is, the fact that only a few layers of clothes separate him from where you need him most. You’re already soaked, ready for all of him.

You hear a grunt and a shifting sound from behind you and nearly jump out of your skin, quickly leaping back to put some space between you and Namjoon. When you turn towards the source, you realize that you completely missed Yoongi, asleep on the green room couch.

Namjoon winces when you whip your head back to glare accusingly at him. “Sorry. I totally forgot he was there.”

You fix him in your gaze for a second, but you’re honestly too horny to stay mad. “To be fair, you were distracted.”

“Still am,” he grunts, running a hand over the front of his pants. You can only imagine the internet-wide panic that would ensue if he went out onstage this hard. The dick print blogs would have a field day. You’re frozen in place, ridiculously turned on but also starting to feel guilty for putting him in this predicament.

Namjoon crosses to the sofa, one hand slipping into his pants to tuck his erection into his waistband.

“Hyung,” he whispers, giving the couch a light kick.

Yoongi grunts again, but doesn’t move, eyes still closed.

“Hyung, I need the room for a minute.”

At this, he finally cracks an eye open. “Hmm?”

“Can you nap somewhere backstage?”

Yoongi squints at both of you as he slowly sits up. He looks pissed– although he kind of always looks like that, so maybe that’s just his face– but seems to realize he can get back to sleep faster if he doesn’t waste time on an argument.

He yawns as he shuffles out of the room, turning over his shoulder in the open doorway. “Just so you know, you’ve got like, five minutes.” Then he slams the door behind him.

Namjoon doesn’t waste even a second, instantly pulling you to him and finding your lips with his, tongue sweeping into your mouth. You let him guide you backwards until you’re pressed up against the green room door, and you hear the lock click.

His lips move to your neck again, his hands sliding up your thighs. “Can you do five minutes, baby?”

“Y-yes,” your answer turns into a whine as his hand brushes over your panties, and you spread your legs to give him more room. He pulls the fabric of your underwear to the side, and when he slips two fingers into your cunt, you both groan: you at the pleasure, and him at how little resistance there is when he pushes in.

“Fuck, you really want me, huh?” Namjoon practically growls into your ear, and you whimper open-mouthed as he curls his fingers inside you. He shifts and you can feel him pressed hard against your thigh, and your knees nearly buckle. “You want to take all of this?”

“God, yes.” You think you’ll die if you don’t.

He hesitates for just a second, clearly weighing some option in his head. Then he groans in your ear again. “Will you ride me, baby?”

You can’t even speak, but when he sees you nod, it’s enough. Pressing you up against the door, he lifts your legs to wrap around his waist, and then his hands move to cup your ass and pull you to him. He lifts you up and carries you like that across the room, his still-clothed erection grinding into your core. Your desire is almost painful now, you want him so bad.

He settles on the couch with you in his lap, and you lean forward on your knees so that he can fumble to undo his belt and pull his pants and boxers down.

There’s no time for the teasing you’re both so fond of, but you don’t feel like you could last a single second longer without him inside you. When you pull your panties to the side again so you can sink down on him, it’s fucking perfect, and you can’t hold back a moan of relief.

“Shit, baby,” Namjoon groans. His head drops against the couch and his hand is already on your clit in steady circles. The urgency just makes everything hotter.

You rock up and down along his length, and you’re so fucking wet that he easily bottoms out inside you, hitting the spot that makes you squeeze your eyes shut and gasp. Your arousal coils tight inside you, the pressure already building.

Namjoon’s fingers work you expertly, and he knows your mind just as well as your body. He knows the fastest way to get you to come is with his words, and he doesn’t hold back, his hips starting to rock up into you.

“You take my cock so well, baby, fuck. This tight little pussy was made just for me, huh?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” you whine with every thrust.

“Mine to have whenever I want, wherever I want. Always so fucking wet and ready for me, so desperate to take it all like a good girl.”

You whimper loudly in agreement. His cock, his hands, his voice, it’s all too much. He can feel your walls start to flutter and that only makes him thrust and circle his fingers faster, and your moans are nearly sobs now.

“That’s it, baby. Soak yourself for me. I want to feel you come all over my cock.”

“Oh, fuck!” You cry out as the pressure inside you swells and bursts, and you can feel the rush of fluid as it splashes over him and the couch beneath you.

Namjoon groans beneath you at the feeling, and you thank god he has the awareness and the strength to lift you up off of him, because it fully escaped you that he never put a condom on.

He strokes himself fast and hard, clearly just shy of his own end, and even now, you still can’t get enough. You drop to your knees on the floor and practically shove his legs apart so you can take him in your mouth, your cunt still quivering from the aftershocks of your orgasm.

“Holy shit,” he gasps as you bob up and down, sloppy and fast. When you swallow him down, gagging slightly, his hips buck against your mouth, and you take it all with a whimper as he comes down your throat.

You make sure to work every drop out of him before you pull off, sitting back on your heels and wiping at your mouth. You watch Namjoon as he collapses against the couch, breathing heavy and smiling wide. He runs a hand through his hair and looks down at you, clearly still trying to recover.

“You,” he says with a gasp, “are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

You beam at the compliment, and you stand up on shaking legs, reaching down to awkwardly adjust your underwear back in place. At his request, you circle around him to assess the damage as he pulls his pants up.

It occurs to you only in hindsight that attempting a mess-free quickie with a girl who squirts is quite the lofty goal, but there doesn’t seem to be any sign of it on his clothes. The couch cushion, however, was not so lucky. You both giggle at the wet spot as he wraps his arms around you and presses a kiss to the top of your head.

“I think we’re at five,” you murmur, but he tilts your jaw up anyway, his lips finding yours for one more kiss.

He reluctantly walks you towards the door. “I gotta go get my mic, but if you head backstage to the left, there’s a spot where you can watch the show.” He presses his lips to your forehead one more time. “I’ll make it a good one for you.”

You laugh as he opens the door. “I’ll be watching, so you better not fuck up the choreo!”

For the second time tonight, you nearly run face-first into Jungkook. “Ah, sorry! Is my phone in here?” He shoves past you both and lets out a sigh of relief as he retrieves it from the vanity counter.

You give Namjoon a final smile and then head towards backstage, but you’re still in earshot to hear Jungkook ask, “What happened to the couch? Hyung, did you spill something?”

You press your hand to your mouth to hold the laughter in.

The show is even better than you thought it would be, and though you might just be imagining it, you swear Namjoon’s hip thrusts are a little more enthusiastic than usual.

A/N: i wrote this in like 30 minutes (so it is quite literally a quickie on a quickie) so if this is slightly lower quality than my usual, don't roast me!!! but i had so much fun revisiting these two!! hope you enjoyed, would love a comment or review if you did 💜 and i'm always tentatively open to requests, tho i have very little control over what will spark the muse lol. ALSO I SWEAR TO GOD THE ACTUAL NEXT THING I POST WILL BE LDOMLT 🙈 thanks for reading!!!!!

#namjoon smut #namjoon x reader #namjoon x y/n #bts smut #bts x reader #fic request #anonymous #five minutes

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darkdevasofdestruction · 2 years

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Okay so I've never requested something before so excuse my awkwardness and stuff-

Anyway I was wondering if you'd be willing to write something for Carmina Mora (The artist) from Dbd. Yes I understand bird mommy can't talk but like I think she'd still coo/caw at you affectionately or she just speaks to people telepathically and stuff yeah- basically somehow the crows nest it the main building gets damaged and it's stressing Carmina out because she's new and being thrown into trial after trial. So to help her reader trys fixing it and honestly I just want bird mommy fluff🥺

You don't have to accept this request at all I just thought I'd try even though I probably didn't make a whole lot of since but that's okay lol.

I hope you have an nice day and remember your work is amazing!💖

Thank you so much, sweety, you’re very lovely! <3

Like with any new Killer taken to the Entity’s realm, they are thrown into the most trials, one after the other, with barely any room for rest and the constant pressure to perform and kill as expected.

But the trials ALWAYS just kept happening in her domain, so the more people running around and ruining things, the more Carmina’s little piece of haven got ruined.

Little sculptures broken and thrown around, ripped paintings, messy painting utensils all around...

And the worst of all was that her big Crows’ Nest from the main building was getting disturbed and ripped apart by those nasty survivors and it was messing the poor woman out big time.

Why couldn’t they just die already?!

In the little time she had to spare while losing a survivor, she had to take new little branches and try to glue them back, add some crow feathers and make sure all of her dear companions were doing alright and were left alone by those jerks.

She just wanted to time to rest and some peace and quiet away from any living being that wasn’t her crows.

Poor Carmina hated absolutely anyone and was in such an awful mood... Until she met you.

She was going back to the nest to attempt to repair it, and she saw you, struggling to put back together a rather large chunk of it that fell - Lots of glue, branches, hay and feathers went into the creation of that piece of wall.

She was so moved that she slowly went by your side and started helping you, showing you how it was done, so the work went by much faster and more efficient.

When it was all done, she looked down at you, debating how she should thank you for being the only being that was actually sympathetic to her, so she let her neck down and nuzzled her face into the crook of your neck, letting out a soft caw-ing sound.

It was absolutely the cutest thing you’ve ever heard, you thought, so you gave her a few headpats, telling her it was no problem and that you hope her and the crows will be okay.

From then on, Carmina’s trials became much better whenever you were there for her, ‘cause it was the only time she could rest and feel at ease, knowing there was someone who understood her with her.

At the same time, she was a bit weary, knowing very well that everything she ever loved was brutally taken away from her, and was very afraid of allowing you to approach her, as she was catching feelings for you.

But at least, if anything were to happen, she would allow you to hide inside her nest and would cuddle with you protectively, making sure nobody could ever touch you or bring you harm.

In the end, even the crows were getting comfortable around you, and they would caw and seek your attention whenever they found you.

#dbd headcanons #dbd imagine #dbd x reader #dbd #dead by daylight imagine #dead by daylight x reader #dead by daylight headcanons #dead by daylight #the artist #the artist x reader #the artist imagine #the artist headcanons #carmina mora #carmina mora x reader #carmina mora imagine #carmina mora headcanons

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nerdpiggy · 15 days

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actually LRB yeah i think a lot about that. and im reposting @lucabyte 's tags here

[ID: tags that read "re-reblogging this to talk to prev abt the tags / anyway @ prev reminds me a lot of a thing my anim tutors said #that filmmakers film at 1 second per second / and animators work at several hours per second / and i think a lot about how thats true for any sequential medium like music or video editing or books or comics / how you read/watch/listen at one second per second / but the act of creation is minutes or hours per second" /End ID]

like idk i understand why people might get disheartened by that but i personally think its amazing that people put so much time into their art. I never stop thinking about how I wrote 14 minutes of music in 15 weeks for my EP and I worked on that shit nonstop like constantly. recently I spent like 8 hours laboring over a minute and a half-long demo. I have spent 45min creating one sound effect that's one second long. over and over

and like that amount of time and dedication is put into EVERYTHING. writing. visual art. editing. fiber arts. musical performances. movies. graphic design. video games (x1000). cooking & baking. sound design. each piece of art is a pocket of time and i think that's really cool and also makes my head spin

#be free my post #sorry for ping i just wanted to talk about it lol

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queenlua · 3 months

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I've been thinking about picking up FF13, the way people talk about combat system intrigues me (I've never really liked standard final fantasy combat) and I love for a story to have a female lead... if the writing does a good enough job? I've heard a couple vague compelling things about Lightning as a protagonist but I've never known how much credence to give any of it. My hope, spun up from what I've heard, is that she's kind of a bitch (laudatory) without the writing being too... aggressively gendery about her being a woman, if that makes sense. Any information/perspective you care to share would be helpful 🙏

(and I don't care very much about spoilers-- sometimes spoilers end up being crucial for making me interested enough in a piece of media to actually try it!)

ohhh interesting yeah so re: ff13:

Lightning's arc didn't feel particularly gendered to me, surprisingly! overall i'd say her arc gave me vibes of Stressed-Out High-Performing Twentysomething Who Opts To Work Really Hard Instead Of Dealing With Feelings. which is, like, how i spent some chunk of my 20s, so, perfectly relatable on that front, and also a thing i've seen high-performing twentysomethings of p much every gender do at some point haha

for me her most compelling arc was the one she has with Hope, which is a kind of mentor-y arc—you sort of see her transition from "i'm barking orders and bossing this kid around because I Know Best," into, uhhh "oh fucking shit this kid is listening to me, they think i have Authority, how did that happen fuck fuck fuck i'm freakin out a little." you can read a decent amount of gender into that if you want to, right, mentor-liness is somewhat femme-coded—but not exclusively so; this arc also felt compelling to me in that i could kinda see that dynamic happening between a lot of different types of 20something-teenagerish pairs.

the writing has other weaknesses—ones you've probably heard already. the game seems to expect you to either Read A Bunch Of Tiny Print In Menus, or else Just Be Kind Of Confused For The First Few Hours, and i'm impatient so i opted to Just Be Kind Of Confused. weirdly, once you hit the 10-hour mark, the story tightens up hugely and everything's very coherent. and it's not like you're totally clueless before then. but it's just... yeah, it starts out a little wobby for non-Gender reasons

my big rec re: gameplay: would be, maybe watch a video of some speedrunners playing this video game first? just 15min-1hr should be plenty—watching speedrunners which got me interested in giving this game a second chance. the combat system is SO cool, but it's possible to do everything slowly/tediously/boringly, which will NOT feel satisfying, and unfortunately the difficulty isn't high enough to FORCE you to try interesting stuff early on. whereas, if you're trying to do Speedrunner Bullshit (try and finish combat AS FAST AS POSSIBLE, a few tricks you'll see them do), you will have an amazing time out of the gate. like i literally think those speedrunners TAUGHT me how to play the game "properly," and sure i wasn't LITERALLY speedrunning but i was focusing on gogogo in a way that felt really visceral and satisfying when i played.

i typed up some other scattered thoughts over here, ages ago

hope that all helps! & lemme know if you give it a shot, for good or for ill~

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 3 months

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Do people remember last year, when Daniel Kitson streamed Tree? It's a two-person play he wrote in 2013, starring himself and Tim Key, and they filmed it in 2015 and then never let anyone see the film until 2023 because that's just what Daniel Kitson's like. They streamed it last year but didn't make it available to download (unless of course you know how to right click on a Vimeo file).

Well, you can now pay to buy or rent it:

A great way to see it again, or see it for the first time if you missed the few streams it had last year (or to take the opportunity to pay money to Daniel Kitson in exchange for all his comedy that you've enjoyed for free, if you happen to have already right clicked on a Vimeo file last year).

He's also announced that he's doing a screening (presumably at a cinema in London) with a live Q and A with him and Tim Key near the end of March. Which sounds like a really interesting thing to hear, so that's a thing to keep an eye on for the sizeable Tim Key side of Tumblr.

And finally, he's announced that he's planning to release it on DVD at the end of the year, complete with special features like commentary and possibly a recording of the cinema Q and A, which is amazing. I'm thinking of all those shows he did between about 2006 and 2012, in which he said he said all the other comedians releasing their own DVDs, and heard everyone tell him that he should be releasing a DVD too, but he didn't want to do it, because he had too much artistic integrity and/or couldn't be bothered.

He had a joke for a while about how it's actually nothing to do with principle and it's just that he couldn't be bothered, but aside from that one joke, he built a hell of a lot of his persona on the idea of being the One Guy Who Won't Do DVDs. 2006-2012 Daniel Kitson spent a lot of time giving us all his reasons why he doesn't care that everyone else is doing it, "everyone else is doing it" is not a good enough reason to release a DVD. And he doesn't want to make one, no matter how many people ask him to.

I fucking love that it turns out all it took to convince that guy to release a DVD was to wait just over a decade, until it's an obsolete format. Then he'll do it. How wildly on brand is it for Daniel Kitson to release a DVD in 2024? Shades of the time he wrote a show in 2006 about how he refuses to shave his beard just because everyone tells him he should, and then another show in 2012 about how he shaved his beard because he didn't want to look like all those other hipsters.

Anyway, I am quite excited about this, I would love to hear that commentary. And the Q and A. And anything else he wants to stick on a DVD. Also, I would love to have a Kitson DVD to add to my obsolete little collection, put it right next to the John Oliver DVD:

If this actually happens, I might have to get on Go Faster Stripe and pay for the Gavin Osborn and Andy Zaltzman DVDs, despite already owning the digital download of both of those, just to throw them in with Conchords and Kitson and Oliver to make a proper Chocolate Milk Gang collection. Though I'd have to see if there's a way to make sure it comes in a proper DVD case, as I don't think they all do.

Anyway, the point is that Tree is a great play - and not even just in the sense that all Kitson's things are great (though they pretty much all are, to varying levels and with maybe one or two exceptions, he had arguably a couple of off nights in 2006 but other than that I think it's been pretty well smooth since the end of Phoenix Nights, especially if you're willing to overlook the penchant for occasional ironic bigotry from before about 2013), as I think it's one of his strongest pieces of writing and performing. Obviously helped by Tim Key being excellent. Highly recommended.

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pjsk-writin · 1 year

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omg hii!! i've never done any if this ask stuff so i dont really understand what to say 😭 so sorry if this is awkward

ok so i love ur work sm and i wanna see how pjsekai boys like would react if their s/o was a ballet dancer and pretty famous for it?? like their on tv alot, and do pretty elaborate performances. sorry if this is confusing!! you don't have to write about this if u dont wanna 🫶🫶 also fem reader/gn reader is fine!!!

have a good day!!!

aww dw abt it, you're totally fine!! and i just started learning ballet its so hard and i commend everyone who does it!! have a good day as well, and I hope you like this!! <3

♡ BALLET - Akito Shinonome, Toya Aoyagi, Tsukasa Tenma and Rui Kamishiro x Reader

Akito:

Akito never really understood ballet all that much. It looked pretty, but he didn't understand it

That was changed when he met you. When he watched you dance, he felt nothing but fondness

He was shocked when you told him you went on TV for your performances, but he understood why. You were amazing after all!

He had no idea how you did half of the things that you did, and anytime you tried to explain it, the terms would simply leave his mind-

He asks to watch you practice in private sometimes, and you get the privilege of seeing his pure astonished face

Overall, he thinks you're very impressive! Your passion for what you did was noticeable, and he always admires passion <3

Toya:

Toya learned a bit about ballet from the pieces that he had to perform when he was younger. Sure, he never performed them for ballet dancers, but he understood some concepts

His admiration for ballet didn't grow until he met you though! You were a force to be reckoned with

He was impressed by you going on TV, and ends up rewatching some of your performances in his free time

He tries to understand the elaborate moves you pull off with ease, but he's never able to-

He actually plays some pieces for you in private if you ask! He thinks it's calming to lose himself in both the music and watching you

Overall, he thinks you're absolutely amazing, and always becomes speechless watching you <3

Tsukasa:

Tsukasa didn't really encounter ballet as a kid, but he's still very intrigued by it! He thinks it's a gorgeous art form

So, his intrigue grows a ton once he meets you. You always managed to look gorgeous!

He's a bit jealous that you managed to go on TV before him, but he understands why. Of course his favorite co-star is incredibly talented!

He tries to learn some ballet moves from you and ends up incorporating some into WxS shows!

He also asks to watch you practice, and tries to keep up with you as you do. He's more than happy to show off what he's learned!

Overall, he thinks that you shine every time you do ballet, and he knows that his favorite co-star would always glow <3

Rui:

Rui watched a lot of shows growing up, and as a result knows a thing or two about ballet now

He thinks it's a lovely refresher whenever he watches you dance. You're a great reminder of how much he loves ballet!

When you tell him you go on TV, he cheekily asks if he can go on with you. He thinks it's cool though, and asks how you get the opportunity to

He also asks to learn some ballet moves and becomes quite good at them! He only shares the basic ones with WxS

He loves to watch you and join you in practice, you're absolutely graceful either way

Overall, you're one of the main reasons that his love for ballet comes back, and he wouldn't have it any other way <3

#pjsk x reader #project sekai x reader #akito shinonome x reader #shinonome akito x reader #toya aoyagi x reader #aoyagi toya x reader #tsukasa tenma x reader #tenma tsukasa x reader #rui kamishiro x reader #kamishiro rui x reader

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mieux-de-se-taire · 7 months

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Early Sunsets over Monroeville - MCR Interviews

89.5 WSOU FM Interview - 7/11/02

14:12-15:33, 20:21-20:32, 21:20-21:28, 21:47-21:51

youtube

Interviewer: Do you think that added to the performance, that you had to actually get through the pain? Gerard: For Early Sunsets Over Monroeville, definitely. I was in-- It was like, I don’t know like 10-- 9:30 at night. We were just getting ready-- It was the last song we did for the day, and I was in so much pain. And I just-- you know Geoffy [Geoff Rickly] was like, “Alright, let her rip.” Interviewer: That’s the mellow song, right? Ray: Right, that’s the-- what’s awesome about that too is the last, I think it’s like the last 3 minutes of that song is just one take, no edits, no stops, no cuts. It’s just...It’s an amazing performance by-- by him and just by all of us, I think because we-- we wrote that song like a few days before we went into the studio. It wasn’t finished when we recorded it, so it was just us, you know, kinda letting all of us [unintelligible], you know? Interviewer: (Overlapping) It was your studio song. Ray: Right, we wrote it in the studio. Interviewer: Well since we’re hyping this up so much... (Ray laughs) We might as well play it ‘cause everyone out there’s going “Wow, sounds like a great song.” Ray: Hopefully Interviewer: “I wanna hear him crying.” (Ray and Gerard laugh) “I wanna hear that tooth.” (Continued laughter) So, I guess let’s go into a little bit background of the song, and then we’ll play the song for everybody, and everyone can hear. Gerard: Okay, Mikey does not want me to reveal-- Interviewer: He’s going “No! You’re out!” Gerard: (Overlapping) what the song is about, but if you-- there’s plenty of clues in it, so if you figure out, it’s-- I’ll say it’s about a film. Is that enough? Ray: Yeah, that’s good. Gerard: Okay, you can figure out-- Ray: (Interrupting) Horror film Gerard: Alright. (Pauses then laughs) You messed it up! (Arguing in background)

Interviewer: What are some of your favorite songs off this record to play live and actually-- or during the recording process? Ray: Um, I think recording process-wise, definitely “Monroeville.”

Frank: (Talking about his favorite songs) And “Monroeville” because I had no clue what I was gonna do. (Interviewer laughs) I wrote it in the van before we recorded, and I had like frostbite on my fingers so it kinda sucked.

Mikey: I like the “Monroeville” song. (To Gerard) It was fun watching you tweak out at the end. (Gerard laughs)

Noise Theory Interview - 11/13/02

Page 1, paragraph 5

Interviewer: Even though ‘My Chemical Romance’ as a band have been together only a short time, the album displays some excellent and mature song writing skills. Were the album songs written after the band became complete? Ray: We started in October 2001, and had written 5 songs by January 2002. This was when the band was still a four piece. The rest of the songs came together a few weeks before we went to record. Honey This Mirror and Early Sunsets were written about a week before we left for the studio. We asked Frank to be in the band around the same time, so to get his input on those songs really helped them become what they are.

HardcoreNJ Interview - March/April 2003

Paragraph 3

Interviewer: What was the inspiration behind "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville"? Matt: Musically there wasn't any inspiration, 2 days before the recording I happened to be strumming an acoustic guitar in our practice space, and the guys all seemed to like what I was playing (which is a rarity). Anyways, we knew we wanted something different on the record to reflect our softer side. I think it was the most magical part of recording process, seeing a 2 day old song kinda just work, we didn't even have an ending for it. We all just jammed it out improvising. Oh, and the vocals were inspired by a certain movie...

89.5 WSOU FM Interview - 7/3/03

8:25-8:31, 8:59-10:27

youtube

Interviewer: Alright, so, we’re gonna hear “Monroeville.” Ray: It’s a slow one. Grab your girl...and then shoot her in the head. (Laughter)

Interviewer: I remember a long time ago when you were recording this record that you had a problem while you were singing this song. Gerard: Yeah, I had a hole in my tooth and an abscess in the hole, and it was pushing against all the nerves in my face, and it looked like I had Parkinson’s, and it was (a?) drag, and it-- Interviewer: And your face was droopy, and-- Gerard: It was drooping, and I looked like a-- I went to hospitals the whole time we were recording, and they thought I had facial nerve paralysis, nerve damage, so I had to do that song, like basically with, yeah like the most intense pain and half a face. (Dramatically) Half a face! Interviewer: So, alright, everyone listening out there, now you know he did this song with half a face. Gerard: (After a pause) Half a face. (Laughter) Interviewer: How did you feel about the song after you played it? I know you must have been like, you know, “This can’t be the best I can do” because you’re all messed up and stuff. (Ray protesting in background) Gerard: It felt like that, but (Unintelligible as Gerard and interviewer talk at the same time) when I was doing it, but everybody was so psyched on it when I did it-- Ray: Psyched! People were crying-- Gerard: They were crying man (Laughter) Ray: It was amazing. It was the most amazing, definitely the most amazing-- Matt: (Overlapping) Yeah, we were definitely a bunch of wusses. Frank: Alright, correction, not a bunch of wusses. Ray and Otter (Matt) cried. (Laughter) That’s what happened. Ray: No no no, I will definitely say I-- Mikey: The red sea might have been parted when my brother did that part. Ray: I cried. I think Alex [Saavedra] might have shed a singular tear. Interviewer: A singular tear? Ray: It was definitely some crying going on. (Matt talking in background) Gerard: (Overlapping) I got a hug after that one Ray: (Overlapping) It was bad. Gerard: (Overlapping) I got a hug. I got lots of hugs after that. Interviewer: (After a pause and laughter) Alright, so how’d you feel about the hugs afterwards? Gerard: The hugs were sweet. (Laughter in background) The record was sweeter.

Punk It Interview - 10/29/03

Paragraph 28

Sev (Interviewer): What are some of the biggest disagreements amongst yourselves? Gerard: We mesh really well musically and personally. We all have a good time, so there's probably not that many disagreements. The only thing I think we ever disagree upon is if we're going to play "Early Sunsets Over Monroeville" or not. We had a little thing tonight. Some guys wanted to play it tonight, but I'm not sure. It's an ad lib song - the first verse was written, but the last part of the song was freestyle. And I'm not fucking Eminem, so unless the vibe is right, I don't like to do it. I did it in Chicago because the vibe was perfect. It basically happens in the middle of the set. We feel the energy, and if they can deal with it, we can deal with it.

Life On the Murder Scene - 2005

31:24-32:01

youtube

Ray: And Frank played on 2 of the tracks off the first record, and one of them was “Early Sunsets Over Monroeville.” (“Early Sunsets” begins to play) Ray: He just plays some great, great parts. Frank: (Cuts to different interview) When we were doing “Monroeville”, Ray was laying down his parts, and as soon as he was done, I took the parts that they had recorded into a van, that had like no heat, outside the studio and wrote what I was gonna play. Ray: (Back to first interview) A lot of the melody that he plays during the verses and the choruses is just, you know, absolutely beautiful, and I think really makes those songs work.

Barcelona Live Stream - 3/5/11

6:10-6:34

youtube

Ray: (Reading a live chat feed) Ooh, would you ever play “Early Sunsets”? Frank: Oh, we have (turns to Ray while Mikey speaks in the background) this tour? I don’t know. Ray: I can’t even remember the last we played that. Frank: I think it was in Chicago. Ray: Yeah? Mikey: (After a pause) Oh yeah, we played it in the Metro. Gerard: (Unintelligible as multiple people speak) like “The End”? Frank: Yeah Ray: That would be a cool one to revisit. Gerard: It was a cool-- I think especially if we give it some structure at the end like, ‘cause that was the problem with playing that song. It has no definitive ending, like it kinda just keeps going and going.

Kerrang #1376 (alt) - 8/10/11

Page 3, paragraph 11

Interviewer: I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love” was released in July 2002. What do you think of it now? Ray: You can hear the nervousness and excitement. Every song speeds up which gives them a lot of character. I like the rawness, especially in the vocals. It sounds very true. I get emotional, too. Early Sunsets Over Monroeville is unlike anything we’ve ever done since -- it’s amazing.

Where Are Your Boys Tonight? (Chris Payne) - 2020-2022

Chapter 9, page 113

Geoff Rickly: When we were in the studio, Gerard’s wisdom teeth were really hurting him, and he wasn’t able to sing, so he went to the dentist to have them out and afterwards they gave him a bunch of painkillers. He didn’t sing with the fire or the venom, so Alex took the painkillers away from him. Like, “You gotta sing in pain, fuck you! You gotta feel it!” I was taking the painkillers, watching him sing the record. I remember lying on the floor and coaching him through how to sing “Early Sunsets Over Monroeville,” the ballad on the record. I was saying, “You’re following the music, make the music follow you. More intense! The music will catch up to you.”

#mcr #my chemical romance #i brought you my bullets you brought me your love #bullets #early sunsets over monroeville #interviews #song interviews #i didn't mean for this one to take this long #whoops!#i'm nearing the end of bullets now #so hopefully i can get the next few done quickly #but i'm so happy to have finished this!#early sunsets is my favorite song #so it's just super interesting to see what they say about it #sorry if anything is wrong or missing for the video transcriptions!#sometimes it's so hard to tell what they're saying #especially mikey

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