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kkami-writes · 7 months

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Devil's Advocate – chapter ten. cw. not? really spicy? but kinda implied sex. wc. 1.5k reference. skz-talker ep. 34

It was the day of the AAA’s and anyone could clearly see just how nervous you were. Even though it was just going to be a recording due to covid, it was still your first big event with the boys and you want it to go as smoothly as possible. Somehow you were more nervous than they were and they were the ones performing.

One by one you had made sure they were getting ready, constantly glancing at the clock and making sure you were still on schedule and not running behind. You had gone to check on Felix, but the boy was not in his room and you decide to find him later. The biggest probably would be Hyunjin if the boy wasn’t awake yet. It’d take you at least ten minutes to drag the boy out of bed. You freeze in front of his room though and you can immediately recognize the familiar energy that was pulsing inside the room. You curse under your breath, sighing deeply. Really? Did they have to decide to do this today?? Of all days?? An hour before they had to leave?? Oh you were gonna strangle them.

They don’t leave you much choice as you open the door and enter the room.

“Hey, sorry to interrupt but in case you’ve forgotten you have the AAA’s today,”

The two boys on the bed freeze, eyes wide as they stare at you. Hyunjin is currently shirtless with a flustered Felix underneath him, legs wrapped around the taller boy’s body. It would almost be comical how shocked they were but to be honest you felt a little bad. You had promised to yourself that you would never…go near them when they were having moments like these but this time it could not be helped.

They scramble to disconnect themselves from each others bodies, Hyunjin desperately looking for his discarded shirt and Felix has his head in his hands, ears a bright red.

“I’m so sorry but we leave in an hour. So you can either hurry up or take a cold shower but we gotta go. I’ll come back in an hour ok?” You make to leave the two alone but surprisingly Hyunjin holds you back.

“Wait what? That’s it? You’re not gonna like…ask? Or interrogate us?” You raise an eyebrow at him, tilting your head.

“Huh? Do you want me to? I already know all of you guys are fucking,”

“WHAT?” They both scream at your confession and Felix flushes even more if it was possible. You laugh.

“Ok, first of all. You guys are NOT subtle or slick at all. The amount of times I’ve walked in on some of you making out is hilarious. Second of all, did you forget I’m half-succubus? I can quite literally feel the energy when you guys are…you know,”

Both boys blink at you, jaws practically on the floor.

“Plus even if I had never noticed or wasn’t a succubus, you do realize that the first thing the company did when I got the job was sign a NDA that explained all of you are in a polyamorous relationship and that I shouldn’t be concerned if I see anything. That it is strictly a company secret,”

Felix lets out a small groan, going back to trying to hide himself into the palm of his hands.

“…You don’t…think it’s weird?” Hyunjin asks, his voice on the quiet side, uncharacteristic for the boisterous boy.

“Weird? Hyunjin, I’m a succubus for devil’s sake. People summon me to have mind-blowing sex. I have to feed on semen of all things. And you’re asking me if I think it’s weird that eight people are in a relationship? You’re so cute,” This time Hyunjin is the one blushing. “If you want my honest opinion? I love it. I’ve been here a month and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that all of you have such a special bond. You guys have something so beautiful, so rare and you guys shouldn’t be ashamed of it. I mean of course, I understand why you have to hide it but that’s not the point. I think it’s so wonderful that you guys have so much love in your heart and my point is, is that you guys should cherish what you have. Honestly? I’m kinda jealous. I could barely get one boyfriend let alone eight when I was alive” You joke half-heartedly but they cam both tell you’re being more honest than you’ve ever been with them. “Anyway yeah, that’s what I think so please, you guys don’t have to skirt around me anymore. I know a lot more then you think. I don’t mind if you guys are all lovey-dovey around me ok? Okay good. ONE HOUR. We gotta go and if you’re not ready I will drag you out of this apartment”

Felix is looking up at you with those pretty eyes, a sparkle of what looks like hope shines in them. You don’t have the time to even begin to unpack what his gaze could possibly mean as you exit the room. You never see the look Hyunjin and Felix give each other.

Somehow you manage to get everyone to the venue in one piece. You think you deserve a medal for that alone. For now though, you get to relax while the boys get their makeup done. Jeongin is the first one done, sitting in the little kitchen area and stuffing his face with food. His hair is bright blue now, having gotten dyed just a few days ago. He looks good, you think to yourself, especially with the pretty red eyeshadow dusted across his eyes. You come over to poke his cheeks that are filled with food and he playfully swats at you, causing you to let out a small laugh.

You lean down a little, resulting in a confused look from the boy but you simple open your mouth, blinking and waiting for him. Jeongin stares at you for a minute before finally realizing what you want, placing some tteobokki into your mouth. You hum appreciatively, enjoying the sticky spicy rice cake.

“WHAT!!! This is blatant favoritism!!!” Changbin whines, pointing towards Jeongin. He had just tried to get the boy to share but he had pulled the food away from the other. Jeongin simply shrugs.

“Noona’s pretty,” and then he goes back to stuffing his face happily as Changbin stares at the boy with his mouth open. Of course Jeongin eventually let’s the other eat some of his food, but not before Changbin had thoroughly pouted.

Jisung walks into the room once he’s all dressed and you ‘oooh’ at the golden glitter in his hair. Your hand comes to run through his hair, an action Jisung throughly enjoys as he almost pushes against your hand more. But as soon as your hand leaves his hair he suddenly remembers why he had come over. Before you know it, Jisung is pulling you towards a smaller room with Minho.

“Um..where are you taking me? Are you gonna murder me?” Jisung snorts.

“No, no. Can you film us for SKZ-Talker? The other staff are busy,” He asks, pushing a small camera into your hands. It’s very hard to say no to the boy so you follow them into the room. There’s a keyboard pushed up the the wall and Jisung takes a seat. As soon as you start recording, you point the camera to Minho.

“Sorry you can’t be in here without permission. It’s authorized personnel only,” Stays will assume he’s talking to the camera but he’s actually teasing you, a grin on his face before taking a sip of coffee. You playfully glare at the boy from beyond the camera.

Jisung is pushing some buttons on the keyboard and then it’s playing a rapid song, his fingers pretending to glide over the keys as if he was the one playing. You’re trying to hold back your laughter at the sight, biting at your lower tier. He plays it up even more as he pretends to have a conversation on the phone, now ‘playing’ the keyboard with one hand.

After he’s done, Minho has already left the room, presumably to go bother someone else. Jisung starts to try playing an actual song, focused heavily on trying to remember the correct keys. He can only play the first few notes but the tune is strangely familiar to you. The boy continues to try to play as you wrack your brain of where you know this song. And then it hits you.

“OH. This is from Howl’s moving castle right?” You exclaim, happy that you had finally remembered.

“Yeah!! You’ve seen it?” You nod your head eagerly.

“Yeah, I love that movie. All ghibli movies really. I’m a little upset that I didn’t realize it sooner. I guess it has been awhile since I’ve seen it,”

“It’s my favorite movie of all time!! I’ve seen it like 8 times,” He chuckles. He would never get tired of talking about the movie.

“Wanna make it 9?” His head shoots up to look at you. Jisung’s smile gets brighter, small sparkles in his eyes.

“Hell yeah,” Devils advocate taglist (50/50) ⛤ send an ask or sign up here ⛤ @hannieslove @alnex05 @liknws @hyunelixbun @mixtape-racha @inlovewithallmusic @noellllslut @143lix @lolli4me @minhoie @soobery @sunnibearr @adorawritesalot @chlodavids @tasteskzsworld @chowmein69 @suebinn @yoonrimin @hyunestrella @elizalabs3 @chaotic-world-of-the-j @realrintaro @surefornext @minhwa @0325tiny @tfshouldidohere @hanjingin @slay-and-gay @princelingperfect @strawberryepie @yeetmehome @min-doesnt-know @shakalakaboomboo @skz-streamer @lovestayforev @the-simpy-simp @beautifulcolorgarden @foliea @studygirlmaxx @kpopsstuffs @highlydestiny @lenilla15 @@chocolate-scoups @mits-vi @lovemyself-persona @rensimps @raehawthorne @miss-rose-dixon @producedbyy3racha @loverlixie @hibs8

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spencerreidsconverse · 3 years

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Connection

summary: When Spencer and Reader meet, they connect almost instantly. When she is kidnapped later that night it's up to Spencer and his team to find her.

word count: 3.9k

warnings: criminal minds style violence, swearing, brief mentions of parental issues.

Pairing: Spencer Reid/Female Reader

A/N: I got hit with a massive block halfway through this so it took forever to finish. I hope you all enjoy it!!

The lights were dim when you finally managed to pry open your eyes. You felt a splitting ache in the back of your head and your hands were tied tight behind the back of the chair you were restrained to. A feeling of panic rose through your chest as you pulled at the restraints, ripping the skin of your wrists as you struggled. You gave up after a few minutes when you heard movement from above you. It was then you began to truly examine your surroundings. You were in a basement of some sort you decided. It smelled of mildew and the only light was from the small hopper window to your left. Too high for you to get out of, even if you used the chair you realized with a grimace. Still, it would help you keep track of time. It was pitch black out save for the streetlamp a few feet away. You shuddered at the thought of being here for days or weeks.

You tried to think back on your day, and how you ended up here. As far as you knew, nothing unusual happened that morning. You remembered the two FBI agents, a small blonde woman and a tall lanky man with light brown curls and a beautiful face. who stopped by your cafe to ask you if you had seen a man they had been looking for. They told you he had been targeting women business owners around town. You looked at the few images they had, most of which were blurry enough you had trouble making out his features. Still, his face didn’t ring any bells. You apologized for not being able to help and the blonde agent whose name you couldn’t quite recall (Jergen maybe?) encouraged you to be safe before they left. The rest of your day continued as normal, until that evening. Your employees had left for the night and you were finishing up your inventory when you heard a knock on the glass.

You turned around to see the tall agent from earlier waiting outside. You rushed to let him in and he gave you a sheepish look. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you were closed. I’m desperate for some coffee other than the burnt pot at the station. Is there any chance you have some left?”. I nodded and stepped aside to let him in relocking the door behind him. “Yeah, come on in. Is there anything in particular you’d like? I can make you something with espresso if you’d prefer” “Oh no, I don’t want to inconvenience you any further” Your smile grew at his politeness “It’s no trouble! I still have the machine open since I’ll be here for a while.” he nodded at that and copied your expression. “Alright, can I have a double shot latte with extra chocolate and vanilla syrup?” You shook your head and let out a small giggle. “Do you actually like coffee? Or are you just desperate for energy?” He laughed at your question “You caught me. I like a little coffee with my sugar. I usually just drown the police station coffee with stevia but I need something good.” You nodded along as you steamed the milk for his latte.

He had a troubled look on his face. He seemed far away like his brain was disconnected from his body. “I know we just met but are you okay? You seem kinda zoned out.” He locked eyes with you and it was silent for a moment before he answered. “Yeah… I just feel kinda burnt out I guess.” You sat the mug down in front of him, along with a large double chocolate muffin. He eyed you, but before he could argue about it you spoke “You seem like you need it. I really don’t mind.” He quietly thanked you before sipping the drink. He let out a soft sigh and he looked genuinely content for a few moments. He looked at you again and you suddenly felt like you were being examined. “Sorry”, he said noticing your discomfort, “You’re just interesting to me.” “Interesting how?” You felt your cheeks heat up. His gaze still didn’t drop but a soft smile met his eyes. “You’re kind but still stubborn. When we were here earlier you were insistent on answering our questions in your office only. When we told you that the man was going after women business owners you were genuinely concerned, but now you’re here alone at almost 11 at night. You let me in immediately when I showed up, but locked the door and reset your security alarm behind me. You’re worried about your safety but still here, alone.”. You pursed your lips at his analysis before letting out a long breath. “Yeah, I guess I care about my business more than my own life.” You laughed awkwardly at your failed attempt to lighten the mood. He continued to look into your eyes and you were hit with a deeply intimate feeling. It felt like he was staring into your soul and instead of running away, he was running towards it. You internally scoffed at your emotions. This strange man comes into your coffee shop and you start to fall for him and instead of changing the subject, you told him the truth.

“I didn’t want my employees to overhear us. I don’t want them to worry about anything, most of them are college kids with enough on their plate as it is. Plus it’d give them another reason to be on my case about staying here so late.” You did genuinely laugh at that. “We’re like a family here. Half of them call me mama. More than once I’ve opened my door to them and helped them get back on their feet.” He smiled with me at that. “I’m usually here this late. I suppose you could consider me a workaholic but I think any good business owner has to be. This cafe is my first baby. I’ve put blood, sweat, and tears into it. To be honest, it’s probably more secure here than it is at my apartment.” He looked at you with what you thought was admiration. Maybe it was concern. You talked for a while longer about your lives. He was from Vegas but lives in DC now. You told him you had moved to DC on a whim. You needed a new start and DC held a lot of promise in the form of an abandoned building with a low down payment. You talked about his work as an agent and his love of literature.

You asked about his parents and he grew quiet. He asked about yours and for the first time in what felt like hours, you dropped my head and avoided his eyes. He sipped at his coffee for a minute while you sat in silence until a shrill ringing made you jump and he reached into his pocket, “Hello? Yeah, Emily... Okay. Okay, I will. Yeah.” He hung up his phone and returned it to his pocket before catching your eyes. “I have to go but I really appreciate you letting me in. Thanks for the coffee.” He stood, made his way to the door quickly unlocking it and letting himself out, leaving you to wonder what he meant by letting him in. You packed up after that and a few minutes later you started the quick walk to your apartment.

You tried to remember past that. You never made it home. You cursed yourself for deciding to not waste the money on the cab. The sky looked like it was starting to lighten. Again, the noise started from upstairs and you heard a door swing open. A man came down a set of steps and flicked a light switch. You shut your eyes and slowly reopened them as they began to adjust. You tried to recognize the man in front of you but still came up blank. He matched the guy in the pictures but other than that you couldn’t place him. “It’s nice to see you Y/N. I’m glad you’re doing well.” His voice carried a condescending tone, and it mde your stomach lurch. “How do you know my name?” You demanded. You refused to show fear to this poor excuse of a man. “What, you don’t remember me? I wish I could say I was surprised. You never did care though so I suppose I knew that was coming.” You strained your brain to try and remember this kid. And a kid he was, he didn’t look any older than 20.

“What’s your name?” you tried again with a softer tone. “Jacob. Jacob Knighter.” He watched your face for any sign of recognition and when he didn’t see it, he rolled his eyes. “Of course you have no idea who I am. I’ve been leaving you clues and everything. I tried to tell you I was coming and you completely ignored it.” “Wait, you… killed all these women because of me?” “Oh don’t flatter yourself. It wasn’t just to warn you. I needed the practice. This had to be perfect and there was only one way to better my skills.” His words made your stomach turn and you could feel the bile rise in the back of your throat. You choked it down and stared back at him. “Jacob, I don’t know what I did to hurt you but I’m sure we can talk about this. Let me make this right, you don’t have to do this.” He scoffed before stepping towards you, getting close enough the tilt the chair back. You wrinkled your nose as you smelled the alcohol on his breath. He was so close you could almost taste it yourself.

“You don’t have to do this” he mocked you in a high-pitched, whiny voice. “You know nothing about what I’ve had to do. This is your fault. You could have helped me and you chose not to.” He wrapped his hand around your throat and you felt the heat rise to your face. You jerked against him trying helplessly to get away before he finally let go. You let out several sputtering coughs, trying desperately to catch your breath. He laughed at you and your brain swam with rage as fought against your restraints, ignoring the sting of your skin. “Let me go you piece of shit! I didn’t do anything to you! I don’t know you!” His face quickly turned dark and you felt your adrenaline fade and panic begin to set in. You were in real danger here and no one knew where you were. “You’re going to regret this Y/N. You’re going to wish you had helped me when you could have. Now it’s too late and you have to suffer the consequences.” He turned and shut the light back off before storming up the steps and slamming the door. This time you heard the click as three separate bolts were locked into place.

Even with the light off, the room was brighter than it had been. The sky had turned a light grey and soon the sun would rise. You should be opening the shop right now. In twenty minutes or so your morning shift employees would arrive to a locked door and hopefully be reaching out to find out where you went. All you could do now is wait. Your head was still pounding and even though you had just woken up a few hours prior, the sudden lack of adrenaline left you unable to fight the urge to close your eyes, and in a few seconds, you were out cold.

“Spencer, would you please relax? We will find her.” Emily was doing her best to comfort him but spencer continued to pace the room, trying to make sense of it all. “Emily I hadn’t even been gone 15 minutes. In the fifteen minutes between me leaving and her leaving she was kidnapped and now we have no idea how to help her. We don’t know where she is or how to find her.” Spencer had told the team about the late-night conversation you’d had after he’d come in from a break to find Penelope reciting information about the latest missing person. He told Emily about the connection he felt and now he was watching it all fall apart in front of him. Emily tried to calm him down enough to be able to pick his brain but with every breath, he just kept ranting. “She’s such a kind person too, her employees care about her. She said she’s even housed a few of them from time to time. She talks about them like we talk about each other. They’re family!”

Emily froze. “She’s housed them? Is that a well-known fact?” Spencer stared at her for a few seconds before shrugging. “Probably. She didn’t say it like she was revealing anything. Why does that matter? The unsub’s not taking them to their own houses.” Emily shook her head, shocked that spencer was unable to connect the dots. “No, but we did say we thought the unsub was targeting women for reasons other than sexism. What if they’re surrogates? The criminal sophistication matches the average age of Y/N’s employees. Maybe she turned down an applicant who was in a rough spot and now he’s seeking revenge.” Spencer’s eyes widened as he followed Emily’s conclusion and they both rushed to Garcia. “Penelope” Emily called “Can you pull up recent applications for Y/N’s business? We think the unsub might have been rejected and now he’s going after her.” Penelope nodded and began typing, her fingers flying too fast on the keyboard for even Spencer to keep up with. “Here we go, the recent applicants for Cherry Juice, which is an odd name for a coffee shop if you ask me.” “Actually, it makes sense given that the fruit of a coffee tree is known as a cherry. Each cherry contains two coffee beans or a peaberry.” Emily ignored Spencer’s facts and reclaimed Penelope’s attention. “Penelope, can you run background checks on all of the male applicants? See if any of them had filed for unemployment or applied for housing in low-income areas.” “You got it!”

Spencer wandered off towards the break room to pour himself another cup of bitter coffee, feeling pain rip through his chest as he stared down at the dark liquid. He was completely off-put by the intensity of the feelings he had for you. He had just met you! Why was he so concerned for your wellbeing? Emily had told him that it was from being the last one to see you, but he knew it was deeper than that. Had he really managed to fall for someone in two hours? He ran out of time to ponder the idea any further because JJ stuck her head in the room. “Spence, we got the guy. You coming?” He turned towards her and nodded once, rushing out of the room, the mug of coffee abandoned on the counter.

You weren’t sure how much time had passed when you awoke to a man yelling upstairs. A few seconds after you opened your eyes, the door swung open and Jacob rushed down. “Shut up. Don’t say a fucking word, you hear me? I’ll fucking kill you.” You widened your eyes and nodded in agreement. You were confused but complied. It wasn’t until you heard the front door bust open that you realized what was happening. Someone had found you. “Y/N?” You heard spencer shout your name. You opened your mouth to scream when you felt Jacob close his hand over your mouth and nose. You panicked and fought against him struggling for air. Your vision began to go fuzzy around the edges. You thought you heard the door open but before you could tell the world went dark.

When you woke up, you were on the floor in a different room of the house and an EMT was wrapping your wrists while another was checking your vitals. “Spencer..” You tried to twist your head but the EMT stopped you. “Ma’am we have to finish checking you over.” You were annoyed but allowed him to finish his job. The sooner they were done the sooner you could attempt to find him. After your wrists were bandaged and they were sure you hadn’t suffered from any respiratory damage they helped you slowly to your feet and told you that if you had any problems to visit the emergency room. You agreed and thanked the two men before making your way out the front door. You tried to move faster but your legs felt like jelly after being tied up for so long. When you made your way to the front yard you saw two black SUVs that screamed government official. You scanned the small crowd of agents and officers who stood in between the vehicles before your eyes found the back of his head.

You began your half-limp walk over when a woman with a dark bob cut and bangs nudged Spencer’s side. He turned around and a look of euphoria washed over his face when he saw you. He ran over to you, saving your legs from the strain of the uneven ground. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into his chest. Even though you felt like you were hugging a brick because of his vest, you tightened your own grip around him. He smelled like stale coffee and sweat but to you, it was the smell of relief. You finally felt safe, you knew nothing could hurt you while you were in his arms. After several seconds, he loosened his grip on you just enough for you to pull your head back to meet his gaze. “I’m so sorry Y/N. I should have made sure you had gotten home safe.” “Spencer, you have no reason to apologize. You were just doing your job, and you saved me.” “Well, actually that was my team. I was too worried to be much of a help.” he admitted sheepishly, his cheeks turning a dusty pink. “Spencer, without you talking to me you wouldn’t have known anything about me except for my legal forms. You knew who I am.”

Spencer’s eyes lit up but before he could say anything else, a man from the group cleared his throat causing Spencer to look back to them. “Um Y/N would you like to meet my team?” You were startled by the question. However, you knew they were all close and if you had any hope of seeing Spencer again, his team might be a good way to start. “Yeah, sure. I’d love to.” He half supported your walk as you made your way down the driveway. Your legs felt like jelly and you couldn’t decide whether it was from being tied down or if it was nerves. You reached the group of agents and you were a little taken aback. Was it a requirement of the FBI to be dropdead gorgeous? You barely had time to process it when the dark-haired woman reached her hand out and you took it. “Hi Y/N. I’m Emily Prentiss. This is JJ, Luke, Matt, Tara, and Dave.” You smiled and waved politely as she introduced each of the team’s members. “And of course you’ve already met our resident genius.” You looked up to the man beside you who was once again blushing and scratching the back of his neck. “It’s nice to meet you all. I’m incredibly thankful that you were here. I mean obviously, you just saved my life..” you trailed off and shook your head a few times. You felt insanely flustered trying to thank them. “It’s our job Y/N, you really don’t need to thank us. Are you feeling okay?” The blond woman, JJ you now knew her as reassured you. Her nurturing tone was almost enough to reduce you to tears but you choked it down. “Thanks to you all, I am.” They all smiled, and Emily told Spencer they were going to wrap up back at the station.

“Y/N would you like a ride home?” I was shocked but grateful and accepted Emily’s offer. I told her the street address and a few minutes later we had arrived at my building. I thanked them again and climbed out of the SUV. I made my way towards the entrance when I noticed Spencer climbing out of the vehicle. “Spencer, shouldn’t you be helping them finish up the case?” “They’ll be alright without me, I wanted to make sure you got settled in alright.” You blushed and nodded, buzzing into the building and leading him to the elevators. “Are you sure you don’t need to go? I’ll be okay.” Spencer shook his head. “No, really it’s okay. I want to make sure you’re okay.” You were touched by the sentiment and tried not to feel guilty about pulling him away from his work. You reached into your purse that he had returned to you and dug for your keys. Once you got the door open, you led him into the living room where you set your bag down and pulled your sneakers off.

You watched Spencer as he slowly moved throughout your space, committing everything you owned to memory. After several minutes of watching him, you broke the comfortable silence with a yawn. He immediately turned to you as if he was just reminded of your presence. “You need to rest Y/N. You’ve been through a lot.” “I don’t want to sleep.” “Why not?” You pondered the question for a second before you decided to tell him the truth. “I don’t want to wake up and have this be a dream…” You trailed off sadly, imagining going the rest of your life without him. You had only known him for a few hours but it felt like a lifetime. “Y/N… I’d like to see you again if that’s alright - I mean if you’d like that.” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked at you. You nodded enthusiastically. “I’d love to see you again Spence!” You scrambled around before you found your notepad and scribbled your phone number down on the top page, adding a heart at the end. You walked over to where he was stood studying the photos hanging on your wall next to the door.

“Here you go, call me sometime when you’re free okay?” He smiled and folded it before placing it safely in his pocket. He stared into your eyes, brushing a strand of your hair back behind your ear. “Y/N… You’re really beautiful, you know that?” Your cheeks tinged with pink and you tried to look away but his hand held you still, lingering on your cheek. “Aphrodite would be so jealous she’d smite you where you stood.” You giggled and before he could overthink, he touched his lips to yours. You wrapped your hands around his neck, pulling him closer. After a few minutes, he pulled away and smiled at you. “I have to go now, unfortunately. The team will hate me if I write off a cab on FBI money. I’ll call you okay? Soon. Get some rest, you need it.” You nodded and leaned up to brush your lips against his once more. “I will. I’ll see you soon Spence.” He kissed your cheek as he opened the door behind him. “Sweet dreams Carissima. I’ll see you soon.” He shut the door behind him and you locked it before making your way to bed. You stripped off your clothes and left them in a pile on the floor. You climbed in between your sheets and closed your eyes, quickly drifting off and into dreams filled with Spencer.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fic #Spencer Reid x reader #Spencer Reid x Y/N #spencer reid/reader #spencer reid/you #cm #criminal minds fanfiction

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cellard0ors · 3 years

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Fic: Movement (3/?)

For @peachworthy (The tale continues!) Part 1 here, Part 2 here

Link’s doing his best to tip toe in. It was a long night at the café he’s currently working at and he doesn’t want to wake Rhett. True, his roommate’s hours are strange (to say the least) but it’s always been ingrained in Link to be as respectful as possible.

Mrs. Neal raised her boy to be polite and one of the heights of good manners is not charging into the house you share with someone else in the middle of the night, raising a ruckus.

But as Link edges towards his room, he notices a glow coming from the living room and finds himself unable to not take a peek. Maybe Rhett left the television on?

Yet when he gets closer he sees that while yes, the television is on, it’s not because Rhett forgot about it. Rhett is actually in front of it, but not watching it. Instead his eyes are downcast and…wet.

A light sniffle comes from him and he runs the back of his right hand beneath his nose as if to wipe at it. Link can just barely make out a paper in his left hand when Rhett senses him.

Rhett turns and blinks, folding the paper up and clearing his throat, doing his best to sound amiable even despite the clear note of tears in his voice, “Oh! Hey, man! Didn’t know you were home.”

“Yeah,” Link says softly, “Had to stay late. Boss wanted to do a deep clean on the place after we closed,” he then adds cautiously, “You okay?”

Rhett looks back to his letter than to Link again as if internally debating something. Finally he comes back with, “Yeah. Kinda.”

He holds the letter up, “Got a message from my Momma.”

Link can only offer a sound of acknowledgement, not certain where to go from here. Rhett shifts about on the couch and Link takes it as a signal for him to come over, so he does, sitting across from his friend.

Rhett lowers the letter, but plays around with it, turning the carefully folded rectangle of paper over and over in his hands, “First time I’ve heard from her in a long time.”

“Good?” Link feels stupid and kind of helpless, but he’s trying and this is the only thing he can think to offer. Rhett sniffs again, but his lips twitch as if to smile, as if he recognizes that Link is doing his best, “I suppose. Looks like my brother got married awhile ago. Dad’s alright, stuff like that.”

“I see.”

“They’re still living in the same place. Mom changed jobs, but she likes the new one more. They adopted a dog and-and…” he sighs and just tosses the letter on the nearby coffee table, linking his fingers together to tuck his hands behind his head.

He lets out shaky breath, eyes directing upwards towards the ceiling as if to stave off more potential tears, “They’re fine…”

Link licks his lips, feels awkward and awful, and can only manage to say Rhett’s name before Rhett’s hands lower and he curls in on himself – his tall lanky form growing small as he whispers to the floor, “…totally fine…without me.”

That alone breaks Link. Without a second thought he moves over, draws Rhett close and hugs him tight. The bigger man lets himself be held, lets Link gather him up like a small child and rock him as he silently weeps.

Link murmurs nonsense into his hair for a while, little things like ‘it’s alright’ and ‘it’ll be okay’ and he doesn’t know if he’s doing more harm than good until he feels Rhett’s tense body begin to uncoil, begins to hear his breathing smoothing out.

Once he feels like Rhett’s doing better, he releases him – gets up and finds some tissues, a wet warm washcloth and a glass of water. He offers it all silently to Rhett, who takes it – using the washcloth to wipe his face clean, the tissues to finish up the job. He finishes more than half the glasses of water before he mumbles, “Sorry about that.”

“You ain’t got nothing to be sorry for, bo.” Link doesn’t know where the endearment comes from. He hasn’t used it in ages and just as he’s about to explain it, Rhett lets out a broken bubble of laughter, “‘Bo’? Oh, man…haven’t heard that in an age.”

Link offers an apology but Rhett waves it off, “Nah, Link. I…I like it. I’ll be your ‘bo’.”

And then he turns vulnerable green eyes on him as he asks quietly, “Mean…if you’ll be mine.”

This is, of course, when Link knows his crush is over. It’s over because he’s now completely and totally in love with Rhett and he swallows thickly, even as he nods, “Yeah. Of course.”

“Good.” Rhett nods to himself as if they’ve just made a blood pact or something and he looks at the television which is just showing some random commercials. He gestures to it, “How’s about we watch something, huh? Get our minds on something else.”

By ‘our’ Link recognizes he probably means himself in particular, because Rhett can’t possibly know about the revelation Link’s just had, yet he feels a little too…seen. He bites his bottom lip hard and – even though he knows he shouldn’t – finds himself playing the part of devil’s advocate, “We can – or you can tell me if you plan on writing back.”

Rhett sits up straight, eyes wide, and Link wouldn’t be surprised if the man snaps at him. Link feels like a total jerk – just because he’s realized he’s in love with Rhett doesn’t mean he should hurt him this way, and, he knows that’s the real reason he said what he did. A sort of, ‘please-push-me-away’ move.

But he did anyway and now he braces for an argument, an insult – something. But then, much to his surprise, Rhett says hollowly, “I don’t know.”

Link presses his luck, “Mean, if she wrote you…think it means she misses you…”

Rhett snorts, “Doubt it. Probably just felt a bout of guilt. Thought she should reach out to her black sheep son.”

“Or maybe she wants to hear from you,” Link offers, “Know you’re alright.”

“Yeah and what am I supposed to write?” Rhett grumbles, “‘Hey Ma, I’m doing good. I filmed a three way yesterday – how ‘bout you?’”

“…a three way?” Link repeats, but Rhett continues on as if he didn’t hear him, “It’s not like I can tell her or-or any of them what I’ve been up to. I don’t think many parents like to brag about their kid’s accomplishments when that accomplishment is DPing a woman while making out with a guy at the same time.”

Link wants to ask what ‘DPing’ is, but he thinks he has an idea and it’s probably best not to get too in depth (pun not intended) on that, as he instead takes a different route, “It’s not like you have to tell her about your job. You can just say you’re in LA, you’re healthy, you got a fantastically handsome roommate named Link…”

That makes Rhett laugh, but in a good way, some of his ire easing, “‘Fantastically handsome’, huh?”

Link spreads his hands out, “What can I say? I’m truthful.”

Rhett chuckles some more and shakes his head, “Nah, I mean – sure, I can tell her all that, but if we…if we do reconnect, I’m just-? I’m afraid it’s going to come up.”

“Thought you said you aren’t ashamed of what you do.”

“I’m not,” Rhett affirms, “But she’s my mom. They’re my family. You know that and I know you get why it’s not something I want them to know about…”

“Well, I mean, I could tell you to get another job, but if this is what you like doing-!”

Rhett gets up from the couch and starts pacing, “It’s not that I like doing it. It’s that I’m good at it. And, like I’ve told you – good money, good co-workers,” he sighs and his pacing picks up pace, “I mean, granted, I’m getting on in years and I can’t do this forever and I always did plan on getting out when I, y’know, found someone.”

Someone not you, a thought hisses in Link’s ear and he almost physically swats out at it as Rhett continues, “‘Cause it’s not like I’d want to be in a relationship and do…what I do. It’d feel sorta unfaithful to me, albeit I know some people in the biz who are married and their partners are fine with it, but for me…”

Rhett stops pacing and flops down on the couch, groaning, “…and it’s not even like I can show off. I can’t show someone one of my films with pride and be like ‘look what I did’! Not my folks, not my theoretical other half, not-!”

“Me,” the word leaves Link’s mouth and he’s sort of shocked it left him. Rhett is shocked too, head whipping in his direction at the declaration and Link’s mouth just keeps working on its own, disconnected from his brain, “You…you can show me. If…if you want.”

The last comes out almost silent.

And Rhett just…keeps looking at him.

Link can hear everything. His breath. Rhett’s breath. The ticking of a clock some place. The television show whispering some medical mumbo jumbo. The air conditioning. His heart beat. All of it. He hears it all and then he hears a tentative, “Yeah?”

And Link just nods.

*I swear the next part will have some kind of sex. I know it’s weird that I’ve had 3 parts of a fic now about pornstar!Rhett and no porn but it’s coming. I just…got lost in feels here.

#rhink #randl #my writing #peachworthy

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allthingsfangirl101 · 3 years

Text

Wedding Rollercoaster–Zac Efron

Tumblr request by @maximeefron

They always say that planning the wedding is more stressful than the actual event. Well, it isn't any easier when your fiancé is filming a Netflix special in Iceland for two months before the wedding. I tried to call him about decisions but half the time I got his voicemail.

We tried to make a ton of the decisions when we were in the same time zone, but several things fell through so I had to change them at the last minute. Even though he told me that he was fine with whatever decisions I made while he was gone, I still wanted and tried to get his opinion.

Zac didn't come home until three days before the wedding. He almost missed the rehearsal dinner but caught an earlier flight at the last minute. Since the day he left, I've had this weird pit in my stomach. I told myself it was just planning anxiety but I still had it at the rehearsal dinner.

The night before the wedding, Zac snuck over to my parent's house. He climbed up the balcony and scared me.

"Zac!" I gasped as I clutched the robe I got for my bachelorette party to my body. "What are you doing here? I thought Dylan was crashing at our apartment with you."

"He is," he chuckled as he played with the tie of my robe. "I snuck out."

He smirked as he pulled me into his chest. He moved my robe off my shoulder and started kissing my shoulder.

"Zac," I moaned. "Baby, we're getting married tomorrow."

"Yes, we are," Zac said, practically growling against my skin.

"Honey," I sighed as I pushed him so he disconnected from me. "We have an early start to a long day tomorrow. We should really get some sleep."

He looked at me, the look in his eyes changing. He reached up and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering. He opened his mouth to say something and then decided against it. Instead, Zac leaned in and pressed his lips to mine in a delicate kiss.

"I love you, Y/N," he whispered. "And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you."

* * * * *

The next morning, I woke to my sisters and friends excitedly screaming. As I got ready, that pit in my stomach got heavier.

"Y/N," my mom said as my sister did my hair. "Are you alright?"

"Having second thoughts?" Lily, my best friend, teasingly asked.

"No," I said, trying to laugh it off. "I'm not. . . I'm just. . . I woke up feeling kinda nauseous."

"Nauseous?" Rachel asked. "Are you pregnant?"

"No," I sighed. "I'm not pregnant. I think I'm just nervous."

"That's okay, sweetie," my mom said sweetly as she walked over and grabbed my hands.

"I know," I said, my voice suddenly dropping. "I just don't understand why I'm so nervous. I love Zac with everything I am and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with him. So, why am I so nervous?"

"Y/N," my mom said quickly. "Breathe, sweetheart. It's okay to be nervous. I was nervous the day I married your father. Nerves are just part of the wedding."

As my mom tried to calm me down, there was a knock at the door. Lily ran to get it while my mom and bridesmaids swarmed around me.

"Look who came by!" Lily cheered as she led someone into the bridal suite. I turned around to see Dylan, Zac's brother, walking in behind her.

"Hey, soon-to-be-sister." His smile fell when he saw the look on my face and the nervous bridesmaids surrounding me.

"Um, do you ladies mind letting me speak to my brother's bride?"

They agreed, each sending me nervous looks as they left. "Thank you," I said, letting out a sigh of relief. "They were. . . And it all just. . . I mean, it's not. . . I do love. . . But this is all. . ."

"Y/N," he sighed. He jogged over to me, pulled me to my feet, and wrapped me in his arms. He rubbed my back as I struggled to breathe.

"Zac wanted me to come in here and see how you were doing," he whispered. He pulled out of the hug and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear as he added, "He wanted me to tell you that he loves you and will meet you at the end of the aisle."

"Thank you," I said, my smile returning.

"You know, it's okay to be nervous."

"I know," I said, not even convincing myself.

"In fact," Dylan said, clearing his throat, "Zac is nervous too."

"Really?" I asked, surprised that I was relieved.

"Of course he is, Y/N," he chuckled. "Getting married is a big deal. It's a big deal making a commitment to someone. You two would be crazy if you weren't nervous today."

"Thank you," I whispered. "You're going to be a great brother-in-law."

* * * * *

I held my breath, subconsciously smoothing out my dress as I waited for the ceremony to start. I looked over to see the large version of our wedding picture Zac and I put on our announcements by the chapel doors.

"You ready, pumpkin?" My dad asked. My eyes filled with tears as he held his arm out for me.

"I'm ready," I said, my voice breaking. He leaned over and kissed my cheek.

"I'm proud of you," he whispered. "Zac is a wonderful guy and he treats you right. I'm okay with him taking my little girl away because I know he'll take very good care of you."

I leaned over and pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Thanks, daddy."

I sucked in a breath as the ushers opened the doors. My dad looked at me with an excited smile. "You ready, pumpkin?"

"I'm ready."

As we got in position, my eyes instantly fell on Zac at the end of the aisle. I smiled, tears forming when I made eye contact with my soon-to-be-husband waiting for me at the altar.

* * * * *

I was in the middle of talking to my aunt when I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist. I smiled as I looked over my shoulder to see Zac smiling sweetly at Aunt Sylvia.

"Hey, Aunt Sylv," he greeted. "Do you mind if I steal my wife away for a second? My wife and I are needed on the dance floor."

"Go right ahead," she giggled. Zac took my hand and led me onto the dance floor. Zac smirked as the DJ announced it was time for our first dance.

"Ladies and Gentlement, Mr. and Mrs. Efron will now share their first dance as a married couple."

"Are you going to tell me what song you chose for our first dance, yet?" I asked.

When we were planning the wedding, the main thing Zac wanted was to be able to pick out the song we had our first dance to. He wanted to keep it a secret so I had no idea what song he chose even as we stood on the dance floor.

"You know," I chuckled as we waited for the music to start, "I'm not sure if I should be worried or generally afraid of whatever song you chose."

"Trust me," he whispered as he pulled me into his chest.

When the music started, it took me a second to recognize the tune, but as soon as the words started, my eyes filled with tears.

"Take my hand, take a breath, Pull me close and take one step. Keep your eyes locked on mine And let the music be your guide."

I leaned back so I could see Zac's face. He was smiling at me, nothing but love in his eyes. I couldn't stop the tears that formed.

"But," I said, barely a whisper, "you hate listening to music from High School Musical."

"True," he shrugged, chuckling slightly. "But that doesn't make the words any less true."

Zac leaned in and pressed a delicate kiss to my lips. When he pulled away, he had a smirk on his face. "Besides," he added, "it's not like it's the High School Musical version. It's an acoustic cover I found on Youtube."

I rolled my eyes as I leaned my head back on his shoulder. We continued to sway to the music as our friends and families watched us. It was kind of funny to think that a few hours ago, I was terrified. And now, I knew that Zac would always love me. If I ever needed him, he'd be there in a heartbeat. I would never have to fear the fall because he would be there to catch me.

The tears finally started falling as Zac held me tightly and started silently singing along to the music so only I could hear him.

"It's like catching lightning The chances of finding someone like you. It's one in a million The chances of feelin' the way we do. And with every step together, We just keep on gettin' better."

As the song finished, I pressed my lips to his. We ignored our loved ones clapping as we kissed in the middle of the dance floor. Finally, Zac was the one to break the kiss.

"I love you, Y/N Efron," he whispered with watery eyes.

"I love you too, Zac."

youtube

#zac efron #zac efron imagines #zac efron x reader #requested imagine

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bi-rising · 3 years

Note

so the thing is. i've always been pro non-binary and i want to continue to be but i have been reading some stuff and i'm worried bc it kinda makes sense and ik it's a bad thing but god idk i need to hear your opinion. so there's this post of someone saying trans ppl wouldn't exist in an utopia where genders aren't a thing and someone else explained how that was wrong because of disphoria and then said "while yes, there would be a lot less nb ppl bc gender stereotypes are more their thing..." and it got me thinking bc i never really understood what nb is. i also saw other people say that nb and genderfluid don't make sense because they're not about gender, but stereotypes about masculinity and femeninity. and i think i agree? (what i hear most from nb ppl is that they don't feel like they fit in with society's ideas of man or woman, but as a somewhat masculine cis woman neither do i? or many others at least) because those things are societal, you can be a binary gender while not agreeing with societal gender norms, or gnc. and what confuses me further is that most nb ppl are gender aligned. i reason they're aligned to the gender that corresponds their sex? (i'm asking from the deepest pit of ignorance😅) but if they feel like they don't fit in the binary genders, how can they be aligned with masc of fem? i mean for example a nb person who's female by sex and is very femenine, wears makeup, long hair, basically doesn't look androgynous at all, are they really not a woman who doesn't agree with gender stereotypes? bc i also feel like a lot of people are treating nb as a quirky thing to use to get in the lgbt community (like they wanna be oppressed, for whatever reason). idk. i'm a bit lost (and drunk), gender discourse is quite complex...

you're right, gender discourse is incredibly complex, especially when so many people are ready to jump down your throat and cancel you and destroy your friendships regardless of your intentions and/or level of knowledge. therefore, i'm also going to speak carefully on this subject, bc i feel that nb discourse is rife with people foaming at the mouth to ask any questions at all so :^)

anyway, i've seen that post before, and i think i agree with you as well. binary trans people have a disorder. it's been proven that trans people's brains have the neural pathways and neural structural patterns of the gender opposite of their sex. therefore, even in a utopia without gender roles and stereotypes, they would still be trans. that's also why it's incredibly important to keep transgender as a medical acknowledgement, not just to force insurance to help pay for gender reaffirming surgeries and therapies, but also to acknowledge that it's a real, neurological occurrence--and hopefully gain more research and acceptance of it.

and because of that, i also am in the same boat as you, where it's likely that nb people would not exist in such a utopia, or if they did, it would be an extremely small amount, even smaller than it is currently. from what i've seen in the nb movement is a lot of push against gender roles and gender stereotypes; i would cautiously hazard a guess that there are two main reasons for people identifying as nb

1) they are gnc

2) they don't "feel" their gender, as they believe cis people do, and conflate lack of femininity/masculinity or a neutrality towards one's own body with having a different gender

i personally can't see anyone having nb dysphoria, simply because the science isn't there for it. the body has two setting--male or female (please note that intersex people are not being considered here, as their condition is a birth defect and not the creation of a third gender or a lack of gender). therefore, there are female and male hormones; female and male neural structures; female and male neural pathways. i don't believe that there is dysphoria associated with not having a gender or having a third gender outside the binary--HOWEVER. however, i believe that many things can be mistaken for nb dysphoria

for example, many binary trans people have had a stage wherein they identify as nb for awhile. it's like a stepping stone, from what i understand, between believing they're cis to understanding they're trans. there is also trauma, especially sexual trauma, that can cause a disconnect between one's own gender and themselves. internalized misogyny/misandry can also be a culprit, or simply not wishing to exist within the boxes that female and male stereotypes push people into. and lastly, there's also body dysmorphia, which can be difficult to recognize for what it is. of course, it may be a desire to simply "be different" than other people, especially for those that are online a lot and have been bombarded with "cis is bad" for years and years, but i would like to give people the benefit of the doubt first instead of jumping to conclusions like that

despite all of this, i do think it is important to respect nb people and be courteous and kind to them. this is just my own opinion, and i personally will never attack or dismiss a nb person. the only problem i will ever have is if a nb person uses neopronouns, and that's bc i am neurodivergent and believe that pronouns equal gender. then, though, i believe that's a separate problem entirely from being nb critical

#jupe's inbox #also pls drink some water!!#don't get too bad of a hangover adkfjasdf

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the-acid-pear · 3 years

Text

Tumblr refuses to let me reblog the post again, so this is the second part of me reading the second btg book! ☺️

Still Chapter 211

Son on son violence

Chapter 212

This dude pretty cute ngl

Shit, rip

AAWW HIGH 5 🥺🥺

It's almost like they are a regular father and son 😭🥺💔

Chapter 213

Look how thigh those shirts are hehehoho 🥴

OYXITSITDITDLTD

Ooooh there goes my man Jyaku ready to kick some ASS

🥺😭💞

Baki really just forgot his mom eh, thought you were getting stronger for HER smh

Oh Jyaku vs Retsu? Nvm Jyaku i can only hope Retsu is nice w you

I like how most are like, confused over who to cheer for lmao

I know he won't make it but I'm cheering for Jyaku btw i like him more <33

Chapter 214

Love that title, can't believe Jyaku is gonna ask Retsu out 😍 /j

He really is just honest Igari

I love that he apologizes

Chapter 215

OJFOYDITDISTOTDG

HIS FACEEE THIS FUCKING CLOWN 😭😭😭

THIS IS JUST SO FUCKING FUNNY

Chapter 216

Burgir

GHZJDUDDRHD THEY ARE SOOO MAD

That smile so cute...

Jyaku is a king

Love it when Retsu throws that pose, though y'all know why

HDGSSGSGF you are coming to Japan wether you like it or not 🔫

Chapter 217

Finally Jyaku got serious too

WITH HIS TOES 😭

King is just obsessed i luv him

HEHE HAIRY LEGS

It does seem like Jyaku is trynna confess his love jfnshdshdf

Chapter 218

I remember i almost laugh cry with my dad when we saw this

His damn beard... 💔

THE HAND OF THE TRAITOR

He has a good point

They be calling my man Jyaku a masochist noooo yfjdhdgs

Chapter 219

Okay seems kinda into it <:/

Old man? He doesn't look that old Baki :/

That was so smart 🥺

Chapter 220

Retsu calm down please you are gonna break his back

Oh my god Retsu, oh my god.

He did apologize at least

Chapter 221

Damn dude be a little more gentle with him

Oh, get was picking him up, okay

FR FR

🥺🥺🥺

FARHDHDYFTH THE KINGGG

Chapter 222

I love how everyone completed him (except Yujiro but not surprising), these warriors are such a good team

I want to eat an apple too now

That was fast

I got distracted watching a vsauce react video sorry

Okay I'm glad a comment actually mentioned Sik

Chapter 223

Had to take a uh idk 5 hour break bc lights went out :/

Feet be fuming lmao

Ohhh that's a cool analysis

Chapter 224

What a good punch

That "please",,,

Poor Li man, having to see his brother DIE /j

No, Viêt Long, i have not been hit by a truck before.

Chapter 225

It's so funny how Jyaku lost bc he fought a main charac and only those win

Sad day for the Chinese citizens

Mf got tits in his back

This is gonna be so goodddd

Chapter 226

Look at the size of his tits, the slut

INSTAGRAM INFLUENCER POSE WOOO

These two are cool fighters

Chapter 227

Old man showing skin

His smile is so fucked up lmao

Chapter 228

Baki what the FUCK are you wearing?

I just remembered when Hana did a flip, that was so good

Retsu babey 🥺

I love how confused Yujiro looks

Chapter 229

Hey, i recognize that name...

Kaku just too op

Yujiro you are gonna pop your testicles if you do that with your leg

Chapter 230

God that's such a good threat

Love Retsu's confusion

Damn bitch you saying we gotta keep up w this whore cuz you were too slow? Ffs Kaku 😢

I love when you can tell someone is still hanging around just quietly by seeing their response in a comment

Chapter 231

God this just feels so good, to see Yujiro actually scared 😍

YOOO THAT'S POG

Chapter 232

I wanna finish this book and start the next one grrr

This fight is so satisfying

That last bit is so cringe but whatever that's okay

Fight so controversial comments were deactivated

Chapter 233

Itagaki hincha de boquita el más grande? 😳 /j

Okay yeah it IS just rude

Hohoooo shit getting nice

Chapter 234

This asshole lmao

Yuji-chan really went "how many times do i have to teach you this lesson, old man?!"

Mfs be doing Jojo references in the comments lol

Chapter 235

GTFO WITH THAT LOGIC RETSU IM SORRY CHINA IS LOSING BUT GET LOSTTTT AJSGAJGS

Ffs Kaku you are doomed 😢💔

Yujiro so strong my mouse disconnected

Chapter 236

Abs in his back...

Crying and shaking that is NOT true

DON'T FEED HIS EGO, KAKU

LIONS CAN BE KILLED BY TIGERS TOO!!!!

I thought Yujiro was bleeding for a second there smh

Chapter 237

OKAY YEAH IT IS HIS BLOOD ITS COMING OUT OF HIS NOSE ITS NOT MUCH BUT HE BLED

THE HEAD APPLAUSE

HE'S SO UPSET LMAOOO

Yujiro surprised is good shit

GSJDUFTHSTD

KAKU YOU LEGEND LMAO

Kaku has boyboss energy

Chapter 239

This cover almost gives me a stroke

I love how they all just shat their pants

These minor Chinese characters were so good tbh, sadly i don't think they will ever return

Don't worry Retsu, we the viewers have seen a man revive before

King i don't think any of us understands

It really is

CAN MEN IN THIS FRANCHISE JUST OPEN BOTTLES REGULARLY?!

Oh my god i though Yujiro was sitting on the air for a second i almost cry 😭

Coca cola must have paid Itagaki /j

Chapter 240

Oh so the Kaioh part takes the name, not the surname

...is Yujiro wearing a floral shirt? 😭

I LOVE THAT ENDING SO MUCH 🥺😭

Jyaku has his eyes fixated on Retsu eh, proud of having him come to Japan lmao

Chapter 241

HORRIBLE fit Baki

CHILDHOOD SAGA PART 2? 😰

Jk though i do miss Yuri 🥺

Oh hey Jr

You gonna fuck his girl, bro?

Chapter 242

So straight forward lmao

I'm starting to appreciate Baki's feminist ass every day even more

AAAA GRANDPAAA 🥺🥺💞

This page didn't allow me to call two mfs virgins smh, 1984

Chapter 243

Grandpa they shrunk you

Chapter 244

Kings idc about this

Okay true but also he's 70 dude pls... Though idk if this guy will go thru worse than Jack lmao

Such a nice lad

Chapter 245

Baki being such a feminist icon is so meaningful considering how his parents were,,,

MY MAN IS BACKKK AND AS DAPPER AS EVER

Doppo he's called Ali Jr how are you surprised?

OH MY GOD I JUST REALIZED HIS EYE PATCH HAS A PATTERN THAT'S SO COOL 🥺🥺😢💞

These men love throwing their glasses eh

Chapter 246

If only Igari and Toba had done this lol

OKAY THATS COOL I LIKE THAT

Me lo re devaluaron a mí pelado eh

HEHE OOOOH NICE 😳

Scenes that give me a boner

CHU...

Such a good callback...

Chapter 247

My man got serious, sweet

Doppo has been trying out his luck a bit too much like he's been betting with his life an uncomfortable lot like king do you need to talk? Are you okay? First asking Gouki to kill him now this like, is everything alright Doppo?

YEAH A BIT FUCKED UP TO THINK ABOUT

I love that blocking technique

OSHWOWHIWWH "gay ass Orochi, out of option so he touching dick" SHUT UPPP 😭😭💀

I really wish he got kicked in the nuts again see if he's still using his technique

Chapter 248

Poor guys thought he was bout to get murdered

A kiss? 😏 /j

When i saw this in the anime i actually thought Orochi was going to die, i was gonna get sooo angry

Chapter 249

What a way to cockblock em

Feminist icon

Jack is that the only sweater you own?

Chapter 250

I have been thinking of that scene of him eating the whole steak a lot

Jr like 🥺

Imagine being stupid enough to tease Jack like, i get he defeated two masters but they are NOTHING compared to this monster

Imagine jack just smoked some weed right there lmao

Jack needs to bite people more

Chapter 251

My shitty ass son gave me parkinson's

Jack that's not how human anatomy works what the fuck did Kureha do to your body spine?

Chapter 252

DAMN JR WHAT A FAT ASS

Looked like Jack was going for a handful

Those techniques must fuck your neck up so bad

Okay Jack you are going a bit far now don't cha think?

Chapter 253

You are tempting your luck sunny boy

Look at that, you pissed him off!

You cannot just know out jack hanma bro

HHH

This was so stupid yet, unironically, iconic

Chapter 254

Bruh i thought it said Pog 😭, ain't manslaughter poggers Mr Hanma?

OKAY THANKS JACK

Such a simp he downed that coffee cup

Grandpa put here cockblocking

Chapter 255

"no he didn't >:/"

These two masters are a pair of fucking idiots like understand this i love my grandpa and i love my man but mfs have to take the L for this one time sksgwjgshgw

Gouki bro my senses gonna shut down if you put your sucks against the dirt again OUGH sensory hell 😭

FOR FUCKING REAL JR

STOP ENABLING THE OLD MAN!! WKSGKSGSJSHDD for once I'm on Viêt's side 😭

Chapter 256

Hoho Gouki out here getting a panty shot 😳

Grandpa i love you but this was unnecessary

Chapter 257

Kozue should wear a Korn tshirt

GET HIS ASS KOZUE

OWHWLWGISGSJWG 😭😭 MF JUST STANDING THERE LIKE A FREAK I LOVE HIM BUT I HATE HIM SM!!!

Love how consistently round his hands are, king got no knuckles

HEY DONT CALL MY MAN A FREAK KOZUE

King hasn't changed his clothes ever since i see

His shoes look so nice...

OKAY OKAY HE HAS A POINT AT LEAST, HE AT LEAST ACCEPTED HE LOST BUT HE'S STILL BUTTHURT FROM IT SKSGAJGS BUT HE ADMITS IT!!

Doppo i love you but shut UPPP you lost get over it!! You are just going for the rematch bc you have the higher ground against a injured guy!!! Like Shibukawa didn't have time but you were already getting serious!! Hhhgrrrrrr doppo i love you but I'm going to bark

Hehe nvm he still hella fine... keep talking king 🥴

This was so mean of him sjsgwjwg

Chapter 258

Low-key starting to believe these two mfs plotted against Jr sjshsj

THAT FACE AKSGWJGS just 😐

If i didn't know you would get your ass handed in a plate i would be a lil mad he's planning on being that savage

He has been thru worse, sunny boy

Niceee

Tbh. I don't care anymore. Doppo is in the wrong, but GOD I'm a simp and i love seeing him fight 😍😍🥴

Yeah a comment mentioned it, we all were on Jr side until he threatened to kill Doppo Orochi like, even if not everyone here is as horny as me we all like an og fella

I also love how the prisoners really changed them all, the scars (both physical and mental) those 5 left will be remembered lol

#luly talks #btg #i ran out of space but that's good cuz im sleepy and have 3% of battery lol #i wanted to reach chapter 260 but this works #14 last episodes for tomorrow woo #baki liveblog

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wincestisasincest · 4 years

Text

The Green Book (Thorin’s Company x Reader, Part 1)

Hello all! This is something of a rewrite for an idea that I had when I was like, 13, but I started it and it was a hot pile of ass, so we’re taking another crack at it. Basically, sort of like how Bilbo and Fordo recorded everything in the Red Book of Westmarch, this is a book where (y/n) records all of her adventures after falling into Middle Earth.

I have no idea how long this is going to be, nor if there’s going to be any more specific pairings, so feel free to shoot me one if you’d like to see something play out!

A quick note! This story is in first person, not in second person, but it is still about the reader. It is the reader’s later account of their adventures. I’m sure you’re all smart people and can figure this out, but I wanted to make that clear.

Summary: (Y/n) falls into Middle Earth. Shocker. Somehow, she gets recruited to join a party of dwarves on their kinda crazy mission to reclaim their home of Erebor.

Part: 1

Words: 1593

Warnings: Plot clichés, getting lost, fainting

To whom it may concern: This book is a project by myself, (f/n) (l/n), to record an official account of both my voyage through the land of Middle Earth, how it intertwined with the quest to reclaim Erebor, and what happened in between. All information here has been directly experienced by me and has been corroborated by other living peoples in Middle Earth, which shall be credited in the after section if any reader seeks to verify.

I write you, the person reading my Green Book, this letter at the beginning of the book because I want to make clear my intention. While this book shall certainly be used for historical record, and I am honored to have it serve that purpose, that is not my primary intention in writing it. I feel that, in the case of historical record, we tend to miss out on a very important element in the stories of our ancestors. Their humanity.

Or dwarf-manity. Or hobbit-manity. Or wizard-manity.

The point is that I have scoured many manuscripts in my years, and all of them treat those of the past as though they are sculptures created purely of dates, epithets, and conquest, and that is simply not the case. The deeds of this company are not going to be forgotten for a long time, but their personality, individual quirks, fears, loves, hopes, dreams, and heart, may fade into obscurity as their time comes to an end.

That it what I wish to eliminate with this book. Above all else, I want you, the reader, not to remember them as historical icons, but as the caring, brave group of adventurers that I have come to love.

No, I cannot completely fix a disconnected view of the past, but I can sure try.

***********

I got my start in adventuring at the same time I got my start in Middle Earth. And both of them were complete accidents.

The land that I come from, just Earth, is wholly different from its Middle counterpart. There are no species besides that of the human race, which have ruled the planet for many centuries and divided into their own cultures with individual languages, practices, religions, and such. As humans are quite non-magical, however, this does also mean that there is no magic in this world. Instead, humans have conquered it through different applications of knowledge, through which they have created many a valuable devices that replace the need for magic. These devices may do things such as heal the sick, communicate over long distances, defend oneself, light up dark rooms, and so on.

The only common trait that it shared with its counterpart was that it had no idea that there was any Earth besides itself.

So, you can imagine that my stumble into Middle Earth was by no means intentional.

I was a dreamy young lady of (your age) years. I had things to do that would take up most of my day’s energy, but when I did have a minute of downtime or two, I could always be found wandering in the woods. Something in its peaceful nature, in which I could not hear the hustle and bustle of the rest of society, was very relaxing to me.

More often than not, I would recline on a large, flat rock deeper into the forest and go about leisure activities such as reading or drawing. Such leisure activities were exactly what I was occupied with on that very day that would change my life.

I looked up from the pages of a very gripping read at an odd sound coming from the woods. Now, the woods are full of odd sounds, and to try to put a name on all of them would do the terrain a disservice, but something in particular about this sound woke up something in me. My curiosity could only be quenched by an exploration.

The sound itself mirrored that of language, as though some mysterious force were whispering words but were hidden from sight, however, the words were not from any language that I understood or recognized. Even after I had come to learn of languages particular to the land of Middle Earth, such as Elvish and Khuzdul, I still cannot specifically attribute any one of them to this whispering.

I shoved everything that I was doing into my bright red backpack (or just pack, as they are more commonly called) and slid off my rock, walking towards the sound. One could almost say I was hypnotized, as it just dragged me in. Deeper and deeper I trailed into the woods.

At some point the whispering stopped, and I was snapped back to reality. I had completely lost track of time. I peered around, and realized that I could not recognize where I was. I whipped out my phone (a cellular device used for communication which I will expand on in later chapters) to check what time it was, only to be confronted with the fact that five hours had passed.

This news was even more distressing, because, if five hours had passed, then the sky should be occupied by the moon and not the sun. I ran the numbers in my head. I had been on the rock at about six, and my phone now read that it was eleven at night. But the birds still tweeted, and it was still sunny, as though it was but a pleasant afternoon.

I attempted to use my phone to possibly communicate with someone, or find out my location, but the technology failed. Resolving to save battery, I put it away and continued to observe my location. It did seem like this part of the world had been completely claimed by nature, with no sign of any sort of civilization in sight. I would’ve found it beautiful it it did not signal my possible demise.

In my world, a common piece of advice for those who are lost is to wait in one place. This advice is most commonly given when one is traveling with a group, which makes sense, as a group would not only quickly realize that you were lost, but could easily fan out to search for you, which would only be made easier if you were prevented from getting any farther from where you had strayed from.

However, I was not traveling with a group. I was alone. I quickly weighed the pros and cons of staying in once place, before deciding that, when combined with how big this forest apparently was, to how long it would take someone to realize I was gone, to how long it would take them to conclude that I was in the forest, to how long that it would take them to search the forest, to the fact that I had no concept of time anyway, that I would surely die before this technique yielded any results.

No, my best bet was to continue forward and hope to come across something eventually. If not civilization, then food or water. Either way, I would not die in the forest.

Gathering all my resolve, I continued to trek forward.

Slowly, but surely, night overtook this strange forest-land as well, and there was no sign of any civilization in sight. I had no food or water with me, which was only made clearer by my parched throat and growling stomach.

Against my terrible luck, a heavenly smell (or perhaps a nasty smell that simply came to me when I was hungry) wafted over the trees and to my location. I had no choice but to follow it.

It wasn’t something that I recognized, like beef or chicken, but was definitely a sort of meat. Regardless, I would eat anything at this point. My hope was only increased when I heard what sounded like conversations passing around a campfire. Perhaps, I thought, it was a group of campers that would be able to help out a very lost and confused traveller.

I grew more desperate. I pulled leaves and branches out of the way and nearly tripped over rocks. Though I still couldn’t make out the words that were being said, they sounded oddly aggressive and simplistic. It was intermixed with the neighing of horses, sounding very distressed, though my animalistic impulses at the time elected to ignore that.

“...and if it don’t look like mutton tomorra!” So that’s what the meat was. Mutton. That sounded delicious.

Finally, I could see the campfire peaking through the trees. I hopped out into the clearing, not even taking the time to think of what I would say or do, just following the food.

In front of me were three of the biggest and ugliest creatures that I had ever seen in my life. You and I now understand them as trolls, but I had never seen a troll before, though, if you had told me at the time that that’s what they were called, I would not be surprised. Their bodies were large and their heads were tiny, with layers and layers of fat making up their bulging stomachs, around which was a loosely tied loincloth. Whatever was under that, I didn’t want to think about. Their faces had crooked teeth, large noses, sloping foreheads, and very stupid looks plastered on them, though as it happened, all of those stupid looks were looking directly at me.

“Lads, we’re eating human tonight!” The middle one shouted gleefully, raising his arms and looking at me menacingly while getting up out of his chair.

I fainted on sight.

******

Ahhh, I just negged y’all. We’ll see the gang in the next chapter, don’t worry, but I gotta tease it first.

Next chapter will be out soon, by the way, because that’s what quarantine is for.

Also, if you’re interested, shoot me an ask/suggestion for what the reader has in her bag! I have a few ideas, but I’m really open to anything, whether it’s a specific book, a cool trinket, a sentimental object, whatever you guys have!

You can also shoot me pairings if you’d like though I may or may not have a very unpopular one in mind already

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dreamingofscully · 4 years

Photo

6x16. “Alpha” - X-Files Rewatch

This episode is all about Scully being the Alpha, who marks her territory (Mulder). What casefile? Through this lens, I really enjoy this episode. You wouldn’t think there would be much to analyze here BUT BOY YOU'D BE WRONG. Also, there’s so many corny jokes, I love it.

Scully arriving from elsewhere in the building with her coat/briefcase seems to indicate she has an office elsewhere in the building. Perhaps she requested somewhere close to the labs? It’s super cute that she comes by to check on Mulder before she leaves. Despite how uncomfortable she was with his silliness in “Arcadia”, I think things are good between them now.

“Aren't you going home?” - Scully “I am home. I'm just feathering the nest.” - Mulder

This is cute, but also kinda sad. The work is his life, how can it be any different?

Mulder subtly trying to get Scully interested in the case.

The desk lamp is POINTED AT THEIR PICTURE. Awww. ❤️

“What happened to the dog?” - Scully “Dog gone…. Dog gone… Doggone.” - Mulder, proud of his joke “Yeah, I got it.” - Scully

Sitting closely, and Mulder being even more of a dork than usual with his corny jokes. Scully loves it though. They’re so happy to have the X-Files back. Life is good for a little while.

THEIR CUTE SMILES AND FLIRTING ❤️

“Don’t mind him, he’ll go on forever.” - Scully

Mulder has definitely missed going on long monologues about weird shit in front of local law enforcement.

Of course Mulder’s heard of the animal. He has had even more time than usual lately to cram his brain with random strange things.

“You get a biscuit, Scully.” - Mulder, with more stupid jokes. But he’s gazing at her here, so we’ll forgive him. I’m not even mad about it anyways.

Their cute banter in front of the worker installing the fence at Karins. SO FLIRTY. (Also, being mistaken for a couple again!)

“You two looking for Karin about boarding?” - Stacy Muir “No, it's actually more of a behavior problem.” - Mulder “Yeah, he doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture.” - Scully, glancing at Mulder

Inside Karin’s house, Mulder’s random touch and Scully’s shiver in reaction. Reminiscent of his two-handed touch in “Arcadia” - is that done deliberately? Scully doesn’t seem uncomfortable, but shivers in reaction, as if she definitely enjoys it. Oof. Things are REALLY good between them.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 1:

“How is it that you know so much about her but you don't know what she looks like?” - Scully “I never actually met her.” - Mulder “But you assume that she's going to help us?” - Scully “No, actually, it's not an assumption. She is the one who told me about his case.” - Mulder “Oh, so you two are chummy?” - Scully “Well, I've read her books.” - Mulder “Ah. The Wolf Inside... Dogs Don't Lie... Better Than Human... Better Than Human?” - Scully “She's not a real people person.” - Mulder “Well, she seems to have made a connection to you.” - Scully, looking at the I Want To Believe poster on her wall (highlighting it with a desk lamp, sound familiar?)

Standing close by the bookshelf.

Mulder introducing himself as “Fox”, what? It probably has to do with her obsession with canines. They probably joked about his name, and it’s what she would refer to him as in their emails.

This would make Scully feel even more uncomfortable/jealous

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 2:

“Mulder... She's a friend of yours?” - Scully “We met on-line.” - Mulder “On-line…” - Scully “Two professionals exchanging information.” - Mulder

Standing close in the alley/crime scene.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 3:

Her expression when Karin shows up, and calling her “wolfwoman”. (Recognize this? She made a similar face in “Syzygy”.)

Karin’s “Classic dominant alpha territorial behaviour” when talking about the police officer being killed.

By contrast, Scully doesn’t need to be aggressive or violent to assert her dominance - just needs to exist. ❤️

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 4:

Mulder touching Karin’s hand on the computer mouse. Scully notices, shoots Mulder a sharp look. She immediately starts questioning Karin’s ideas. Her EXPRESSION. She thinks she’s figured Karin out, that she is attracted to Mulder, and she’s not going to let her get away with anything. It’s not only possessiveness but protectiveness. She only recently got Mulder away from the clutches of Diana, and she knows how vulnerable he is to women that seem vulnerable themselves.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 5:

In the car, Mulder knowing something’s wrong with Scully

Scully warning him: “She's enamored of you, Mulder. Don't underestimate a woman. They can be tricksters, too.” (I think this is also a veiled reference to Diana, that Mulder does NOT get, nor is he meant to.)

Mulder is gullible and oblivious when it comes to certain women, and Scully knows it!

Mulder gives her a curious look - thinks she’s jealous, perhaps?

Scully won’t tolerate anyone trying anything with Mulder, she’s fucking had it. After dealing with Diana so recently - no one else is going to try anything. She’s getting ahead of something before it develops. Mulder is empathetic with people who are different/loners (Oubliette/Mind’s Eye). He CAN be manipulated by a woman with a sad story.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 6:

Going to see Karin alone, confronting her about her intentions with Mulder. Look at that lean forward.

Scully’s “With Mulder, you found somebody you could communicate with.... someone who challenged you... But that wasn't enough. You needed to lure him out here.”

She knows what having a special connection to him feels like!

Karin’s “I lack your feminine wiles.” (Which is hilarious, because when it comes to Mulder, Scully doesn’t have ANY of that manipulativeness that she implies.)

“I'm watching you.” - Scully “You watch... But you don't see.” - Karin

Perhaps Karin did mean to lure Mulder out here to meet him, and she does lie about the creature. HOWEVER...

Once she sees Mulder and Scully together, she abandons her ideas of deepening her relationship with him. She sees what everyone else does - that M&S are incredibly close, that their body language and glances to each other suggest that the only person in the room that matters to each other is them. Karin’s suggestion here (to the case I’m sure) is also a reference to what Scully can’t see is right in front of her - that there’s no reason for her to be territorial because Mulder only has eyes for her.

I also believe Mulder would have mentioned Scully to Karin. She’s such an integral part of his life. Once Scully shows up, things “click” for her, she understands that she has no chance.

Mulder trusts Scully’s judgement, goes to see Karin for himself and asks about being misled. (This is a pretty big deal.)

Karin - she loves Mulder, in her way. He's a kindred spirit, like Scully says, the only other human she knows that she actually likes. Once she realizes that he belongs to another, that he has someone who is a good person (based on how her dogs react to her) and will look out for him, she realizes what she needs to do to stop the animal - risk and (potentially) sacrifice herself. After lying to Mulder about what she thinks the animal will do next, and he goes to Scully, she LOOKS AT THE “I WANT TO BELIEVE” POSTER. Did she choose to wrap it up and send it then? In essence, disconnecting herself from him, and giving him a gift as her last goodbye?

I love that Mulder calls Scully to the hospital so they can do the surveillance TOGETHER. ❤️ Mulder’s “You should take a load off. We might be here all night.”

Scully’s “So, what is he going to do? Walk in here, skitter across the linoleum and pee in the corners?” is so cute. And Mulder loves it when she jokes. Like I said earlier, they are in a good place again.

Scully Being Territorial, Exhibit Number 7:

“Mulder, the only thing Karin Berquist is interested in is you.” - Scully, to which Mulder seems bashful about it. He’s so oblivious about women being interested in him. It’s adorable.

When Scully takes his magazine she sits a bit further from him than normal. She’s uncomfortable with her jealousy, tries to distance herself from it’s source.

Of course Scully falls asleep. ❤️ I love how she can sleep anywhere. She’s SNORING (quietly) - IT’S SO CUTE I CAN’T EVEN--. 😭 He’s gazing at her while she sleeps, then wakes her gently with the magazine. ❤️

At the ending, Scully’s tenderness about Mulder losing his friend is touching. The whole episode she was antagonistic towards Karin, thinking she had an ulterior motive, but in the end she did something altruistic. She was Mulder’s friend, and proved that in the end she wasn’t a bad person, at least in some ways. Scully knows he’ll blame himself, as well.

They have a really sweet interaction here. Scully making sure he’s okay, Mulder reassuring that he will be, talking about how he “believed her too quickly”. (He is a learning animal. Oh shit I made another corny joke, my b.)

The lamp is still aimed at the picture of them in the office. Like a fucking spotlight saying “THIS PLACE IS OURS.”

Scully Being Territorial, End Notes

I’m partially being silly when talking about this aspect of Scully’s personality, but I have to discuss a few things.

After the shit they’ve been through with Diana, I can’t blame Scully for overreacting and being protective of Mulder, not wanting to see him manipulated again.

That being said, this isn’t the first time she’s been possessive when it comes to him. I think it’s probably one of her flaws - she can get irrationally jealous when Mulder gets attention from another woman. It’s NOT just protectiveness but stems from her longing for something more with him, her fear that someone will swoop in and take the place in his life that she wants. I can empathize with that, I suffer from terrible jealousy sometimes myself (so perhaps this is a bit of self-projection, but hey, this is my analysis, so that’s what I see).

I absolutely love Scully, but I love that she seems like a real character, with flaws and eccentricities that truly make her unique.

#xfiles #x-files #x files rewatch #x-files rewatch #msr #msrheadcanon #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #season 6

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vanderlindeandco · 4 years

Note

Could you write something for Baird? You get shot in battle and almost die and he tells you how much he loves you and can't live without you. Thank you love!

It wasn’t the first time I’d been shot, but this one seemed bad. I’d popped out of cover to cross the street after the rest of my squad, and since a lot of time the grubs’ aim wasn’t so good, I thought I’d be fine if I was quick. Well, I’d gotten in a few shots as I went and taken down one of them, and I was almost into cover when I felt something like a punch to the stomach. I stumbled, unsteady, and ducked, crouching next to Marcus as I reloaded my lancer. I looked down, cursing under my breath when I saw the blood trickling through the hole in my armor. It didn’t hurt much yet, but I knew well that that didn’t say much about the severity of the wound.

“You all right?” Marcus asked, and rose, firing a few shots over the hood of the car we were sheltering behind before ducking again as return fire cracked in response.

“Not sure.” My armor had taken a beating; the recon mission we were on was a whole lot worse than we’d projected, and I wasn’t real surprised that the fairly close-range shot had pierced the battered plates. If anything, I was pissed at myself that I hadn’t recognized what poor shape the armor was in and done something about it.

“You hit?” I was surprised to hear the concern in Baird’s voice, and I looked up at him, skeptical.

“I thought I heard you joking about offing me last week after I ate your snacks?”

He scowled at me, but he didn’t talk back, and that worried me more than the hot trickles I suddenly became aware of, tracing down my stomach from the wound. “Baird, take a look at her.” Marcus’s voice was as gruff and decisive as ever, the ever-present lines etched deep into his forehead as he sighted over the hood of the car and took a few more shots.

Baird stayed low as he approached me, and I began to unbuckle my armor. It felt weird doing it out in the open like this, especially in combat. I felt naked as soon as the heavy plates fell away, but that left my mind when I saw the wound under them; it was bleeding heavily, and it had started to throb, the bloodstain on my shirt steadily growing. My head felt light suddenly and I sat back, leaning against the car. Baird’s fingers were quick and agile, catching the hem of my shirt and pulling it up, and I chuckled. “At least take me on a date first, hotshot,” I said, and the words felt heavy on my tongue.

“Shut up,” he said, but without any malice; his gaze was on the wound, and he looked up at Marcus. “It’s not good, Sarge. I don’t know what to do to stop the bleeding.” He spoke with urgency and what sounded like fear, but I felt none of it - I was well aware I was going into shock; I felt strangely disconnected from my body but it was helping keep me calm, so I didn’t particularly mind. I was growing sleepy already, and my core felt warm, but my fingers and toes were suddenly cold.

“Dom and I will keep the grubs busy,” Marcus said, and fired another short burst of shots before falling back into cover. “Fall back and get her the fuck out of here. Backup’s on the way.”

I wanted to protest, but it seemed like too much work, and when Baird slipped an arm under my knees and another around my back, I didn’t try to stop him. He rose, lifting me, and I knew we were exposed, but Marcus’s lancer chattered and I bounced in Baird’s arms, his boots stamping the pavement as he ran back toward a side street. “Ow,” I murmured; the wound was really coming to life now, the pain radiating in waves from it, and each jolt sparked it hotter.

“Fuck,” Baird muttered, and then again, louder and more fervently, “Fuck!” “What?” I looked up at him. The sky above us was bright blue, far too beautiful and calm for what was going on.

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” He pounded down the street, and he was breathing hard, panting out the words. He wasn’t looking at me and it was almost like he was talking to himself. “I didn’t think I’d run out of time.”

I grimaced and blinked, my eyes opening slowly. It was growing difficult to focus them now. “What for?”

“Fuck…” he expelled the word with a lungful of air. “I… Shit!” He looked down at me, his gaze moving from my face to the wound and I could see him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He looked back over his shoulder, and then turned through the door into a dilapidated building. He eased me down, propping me against the wall, and reached for his radio. “I’m about to send my coordinates. Need med-evac here, now! Where the fuck are you guys?”

A crackly voice came through in response and I couldn’t quite make out the words, but I did hear Baird’s impassioned response: “Well, fuckin’ hurry it up!” He stowed his radio and crouched next to me, pressing his large hands over the wound, and I gasped in pain.

“Shit, sorry,” he muttered.

I was getting real tired, and my thoughts were moving slowly but I remembered there was something I needed to ask him, something pricking my mind, and then I suddenly remembered what he had been saying. “What… did you need time for?”

He looked up at me then, and suddenly his blue eyes seemed blinding, filled with a sincerity I had never seen from him. He wetted his lips and cleared his throat, and his face twisted with what I could only describe as grief. “I… Fuck it. Look.” He hesitated, and then shook his head, meeting my eyes again. “I fucking love you. I’ve known it, and I didn’t want to say it, didn’t know how or if I should, and I thought the moment would present itself if it was supposed to, but it never did and now you’re fucking bleeding out here.”

My thoughts were moving at the speed of dripping honey, and I felt like the words were just sitting on the surface of my brain, not sinking in. I was just looking at him, and he was looking back, desperation in his eyes, and I blinked, my brain feeling like it had been replaced with cement and my eyelids with lead. “Say something, please.” I blinked again and this time I couldn’t seem to get my eyes to open. “Hey!” Warm, blood-wet fingers cupped my cheek, and the last thing I heard was his voice, urgent and afraid. “Don’t fucking leave me-”

*****

When I woke, my head felt heavy, and my stomach suspiciously painless. I didn’t open my eyes immediately, and wiggled my toes, feeling soft sheets against them. I heard the sound of a steady drip nearby, and footsteps a little farther away. Then I opened my eyes, and instantly recognized the tiled white ceiling overhead - it was the med-wing of the base. Somehow, apparently, Baird had gotten me out.

Baird. His name crossing my mind jolted me. Baird, who loved me. I felt my heart rate shoot up with the thought, and my cheeks felt warm. Even though I had gotten pretty hazy near the end, I could remember his face and his words so clearly. He had meant them.

“You’re awake!” The nurse’s words broke me from my deepening train of thought. “How’re you doing?” His eyes went from the monitor next to my bed and then back to me as I responded.

“I feel fine,” I said. “I’m guessing I’m pretty dosed up?”

He smiled sympathetically. “Yeah. Gut wounds hurt a hell of a lot otherwise.”

I nodded. “So you think I’m gonna make it through?”

“Yeah,” he said. ��The bullet just missed your intestines. It did some damage, and you lost a lot of blood, but you should be fine. Doc got you patched up last night.”

“Nice.” I was no stranger to the med-wing, but I was a little disappointed - this meant I had broken my streak of never staying overnight. Still, I was alive, and I was going to be all right, so I didn’t really have anything to complain about.

“Your friend wanted me to let you know when you woke up. Should I notify him?”

The sudden over-dramatic picture of a concerned and bloodied Baird getting left behind as they wheeled me into the operating room filled my head, and I nodded, asking, though I thought I already knew the answer, “What friend?”

“Corporal Santiago,” the nurse said, and my heart sank slightly.

“Oh,” I said. “Yeah. It’d be good to see him.”

“All right, then,” he said. “You’re gonna be here a couple days, just so you know. This is a pretty serious wound, and we gotta make sure it heals up right. I’m Theo, by the way.”

“Nice to meet you, Theo,” I said. “I can’t make any promises that I won’t complain, but if I gotta stay, I’ll stay.”

“That’s all I ask,” he said with a smile. “I’ll notify Corporal Santiago.”

“Thanks.”

I had expected the fog lingering in my brain to have dissipated by the time Dom arrived, but it hadn’t, and I supposed it was most likely because the pain medicine I was on was even heavier than I’d thought. “Hey!” He greeted me with one of his signature grins, the ones that made you feel like you were his favorite person. “How’re you feeling?”

“Drugged,” I said, and he laughed. I scooted over a little, patting the edge of the bed, and he sat down. “How’d the rest of the op go?”

“Backup got there pretty fast after Baird got away with you, and we got out okay.”

“Where is Baird?” I had tried to ask nonchalantly, but apparently, I hadn’t quite succeeded - something suspicious and a little mischievous lit in Dom’s dark eyes.

“He tell you something?” he asked.

“Did he tell you he did?” I asked.

He shook his head. “I knew he was into you, though he never said anything. And it seems like you have some idea of that now.”

Dom was one of the very few people I trusted entirely, and who I knew could keep his mouth shut if I asked him to. “He said he loves me.”

At that, Dom’s brows shot up. “Really? I don’t think I’ve ever heard that word come out of his mouth, except in mockery.”

“Me neither,” I said, and added, only half-joking, “When he said that, that’s when I really got scared I was gonna die.”

“He must’ve thought you were,” Dom said. “I think he’s been sitting on it awhile though.”

“Really?” I asked. “I thought I was kinda just one of the guys to him.” It was true; I was the only female on the squad, and I thought they’d gotten used to it as quickly as I had.

“Well, I’ve never seen him staring at Marcus’s ass,” Dom said with a smirk, and then added, “And did you ever notice how everyone’s equipment seems to malfunction more than yours?”

“I guess I hadn’t.” But now that I thought about it, it was true. I’d never understood why everyone bitched about Baird’s contraptions. But if it was because Baird put more work into mine - work intended to keep me safe - it made sense.

“He doesn’t show affection in the ways normal humans do,” Dom said.

“Yeah, well, he’s a pretty twisted guy,” I said, and Dom laughed, knowing I was mostly joking. “Speaking of which, shouldn’t he be here?”

“He’s probably scared to come,” Dom said. “You didn’t answer him, did you?”

“I… No.” Dom said it without judgement but I felt guilty suddenly, even though the fact that I had been dying was a damn good reason not to have answered.

“Well, you’d better,” Dom said. “He’s been on edge ever since we got back, and I thought it was just because of what happened to you. I didn’t know he was waiting on that.”

“Yeah…” I said. “That must suck. Any chance I could get you to bring him here?”

“Of course,” he said, standing. “You, uh… Need anything?”

My eyes narrowed slightly. I could tell he was hinting at something, and the infinitesimally tiny movement of his eyes toward my hair, which I realized was now probably a massive mess, gave it away. “If he loves me when I’m dying in his arms, he’ll still love me when I look like shit,” I said.

Dom chuckled. “Fair enough. Just thought I’d ask.”

“Thanks, Dom,” I said.

“‘Course. Glad you’re okay. Everyone’ll be glad to know you’re awake.”

I’d felt pretty calm while we were talking, but as soon as the ward door closed behind him, I could feel my heart speeding up again. I’d had a crush on Baird for a long time, though I’d put it in the back of my head since I didn’t think he felt the same way, and apparently I’d done such a good job concealing it, he’d never tried to make a move even though he was into me. I didn’t need to be scared or even nervous - I knew how we both felt. Yet putting my feelings out there like that - that intimidated me more than any horde did.

The minutes ticked by, and finally I heard footsteps outside the door, more than one pair. The doors opened and Baird popped through, stumbling as if he had been pushed (he probably had been, by Dom), and regaining his balance as the doors closed behind him. He pasted a smirk onto his face, but not quick enough; I saw the vulnerability and nervousness for just a moment first. “You look like shit,” he said.

“I don’t feel like it.”

“Well, that’s good.” His steps were just a little slow as he crossed the room toward me and stopped next to the bed. “I think you owe me some gratitude,” he said, and some of the trademark edge was returning to his voice. It made me less nervous to see him acting a little more like himself.

“I do,” I said. “Thank you. I wouldn’t have made it out of there if it hadn’t been for you.”

“Yeah, I think you were out before I even got you indoors,” he said, but I was sharp enough to see what he was trying to do - he was testing me, and we both knew it.

“No, I wasn’t,” I said, and fear flashed through his blue eyes before he rapidly concealed it. I swallowed. “You said you loved me.” Instantly his lips opened to protest, but he’d only gotten out half a word when I cut him off. “Shut up and let me talk for a second.” Apparently taken aback, he obeyed, his mouth still hanging open slightly. “I like you too, okay? I’m not sure I’m ready to say I love you. I need some time. But I wanna give it a shot.” I hadn’t prepared what I was going to say, but it was coming out okay, to my surprise, and by the rapid change of the emotions on his face from fear to reticence to hesitant happiness, and back to his usual confidence, I judged he thought I was doing all right too.

“You know I was exaggerating a little ‘cause I thought you were dying, right?” he said. “I mean, I don’t really, like love love you. As a friend, sure. But yeah, if you’re into me, we can try going out.”

I laughed. “If I’m into you?” I repeated. “You’re gonna convince yourself I came onto you first, aren’t you?”

“Convince myself?” he asked. “What’re you talking about? You’re the one that got me in here to tell me how in love with me you are.”

“Man, I’m the one on drugs and I’m talking more sense than you are,” I said. “Anyway, if the record books in your little Baird-centered world say I came onto you first, it’s whatever. Dom knows the true story, and we both know he’s gonna believe me over you.”

His confidence cracked for a moment, and a bit of a pout crossed his face. “You all ride me for not having feelings, and this is what I get for showing them? You might be more trouble than you’re worth.”

I smiled up at him. “We both know I’m not.”

He looked at me for a long moment, and I knew his frown was fake. “Fine,” he said finally. “Whatever.”

“Don’t whatever me, jackass,” I said, but the words held no real bite; I could feel my smile growing. “You were the one telling me how desperately you love me, you need me-” I was exaggerating; I was trying to push his buttons, and I knew I was good at it.

“For fuck’s sake, can you hush about that?” he interrupted me, casting a self-conscious glance over his shoulder, but I continued.

“-you don’t know how to live without me, your soul belongs to me-”

“Fuck it!” He stepped closer to the bed, leaned down, steadying himself with a hand on the mattress, and kissed me, and the words died in my throat as his hand cupped my cheek, just like before, but his touch was gentle rather than desperate, and his lips were soft and passionate. I was breathless when he pulled away, starstruck and giddy.

“If I knew it was this easy to get you to shut up, I would have asked you out a long time ago,” he said, but he was smiling now, and it was a real smile, and I think it was just as big as my own.

“Better late than never.” My heart was still racing, and I felt almost lightheaded again, but in a good way.

“Look, I got some work I gotta get done,” he said, and I could hear the hesitance in his voice. I’d done enough to knock his pride down a couple notches, so instead of making him say it, I asked,

“You’ll come back later?”

“Sure, if I got time,” he said coolly.

I smirked. “You’ll make time.”

“We’ll see.” I could see a grin spread across his face as he turned to leave - I think he’d tried to hide it until his back was to me, but he hadn’t quite succeeded. My head was heavy but my heart was light, and as the door closed behind him, I settled back into the pillows, pleasant sleepiness filling my mind. I hadn’t the slightest idea where things might go with him. But I was excited to see.

#damon baird #gears of war #gow #gears of war fic #sorry my baird swears so much #i just felt like it fit in this

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starlocked01 · 4 years

Text

I’ll Stay Awake (because the dark’s not taking prisoners tonight)

AO3

Masterpost- Previous- Next

Summary: Virgil doesn't get to meet his soulmates each night. No, he has nightmares. His roommate decides to stage an intervention.

A/N: I’m not even going to pretend I was close to representing actual therapy. I really probably should have done more research and I’m sorry v-v

Content Warnings: Cussing, Nightmares, Self-harm, Depictions of drowning, Panic, Paralysis, Anxiety Medications

Day 12 Anxceitmus (background Logicality)- You meet your soulmates each night in your dreams

"You can run, but you can't hide, bitch!"

Virgil tore through the broken landscape, avoiding holes in the floor and checking around every corner. The demon with glowing green eyes pursued relentlessly, cackling laughter peeling off the rusted metal surfaces and echoing so that he couldn’t tell where the source was coming from. All Virgil could do was keep running.

He rounded a corner and found himself face to face with a half-man half-snake, the face grotesquely split between each form. The human hand raised up toward him. Virgil backpedaled to escape its grasp.

"Sssstop!" the creature hissed. Virgil pulled his hoodie around his face and screamed.

He bolted upright in bed, still screaming. His roommate groaned and rolled over, turning on a lamp on his nightstand.

"Another nightmare, kiddo?" Patton looked a lot less caring than he sounded.

"Sorry," Virgil whimpered, fidgeting with his bed covers.

"Logan and I are pretty used to being interrupted by now. I just wish you could meet your soulmate instead of having these awful, scary nightmares," Patton yawned, "I'll leave the light on for you, maybe that will help." Patton rolled back over and was snoring in minutes.

Virgil sat in bed, unable and unwilling to fall back asleep. To keep himself awake he blasted music through his headphones and scratched at his skin.

When the morning alarm rang out, Patton yawned and stretched out of the bed only to find Virgil up and working on homework. The dark bags under his eyes gave him away. Patton frowned and walked over, laying a hand on the boy's shoulder. Virgil jerked back, breathing hard, shaking off Patton's hand and tipping the chair dangerously close to falling back.

"Hey kiddo, how'd you sleep?" Patton smiled but Virgil only growled in response, flipping up his hood to hide his face. "Aww, I'm sorry."

"I'll be fine," Virgil glared at Patton and opened his desk drawer. Inside was filled with energy drinks. He grabbed three, stuffing two in his backpack and cracking open the third.

"Virgil, I'm worried about you."

"Well, don't."

Patton sighed and started getting ready for his day.

Virgil finished his drink before his 8 am calc class. By 8:15 he was already cracking open the second one.

Virgil sat with Logan and Patton during his lunch break, picking at a bowl of soup that was nearly unidentifiable.

"Virgil, Patton told me you didn't sleep again last night," Logan stated matter-of-factly.

"What do you care, wonder nerd?" Virgil bit back.

"We're your friends and we're worried about you, Virge," Patton smiled sadly.

"Honestly you might need professional help. You should look into a therapist to talk with about the nightmares. You can't live on sugary caffeinated drinks forever," Logan reprimanded him. Virgil glared at Logan.

"I know a guy who's really easy to talk to. At least try?" Patton tried to make eye contact but Virgil emphatically ignored him. Patton sighed, "whatever, we just want you to be able to take care of yourself and not scratch yourself raw every night. If you decide to try, here's Dr. Picani's number." Patton slid a slip of paper across the table to a stunned Virgil.

"How did you know?" he asked quietly.

"I just know what I'm looking for when it comes to that kind of stuff," Patton looked uncomfortable and Logan placed a comforting hand on his back.

"Okay.. thanks," Virgil didn’t look up as he gathered his stuff to leave the cafeteria.

Virgil felt locked in his car. All he had to do was get out and walk inside the office building, but he felt paralyzed in the driver's seat. This was such a bad idea. There was no way this would help. He needed to get out of there go home and pack up and get on the next flight out of the country and hope that no one ever tried to talk to him agai-

His phone rang. He didn't recognize the number but answered on autopilot.

"Hello, Virgil Strike speaking."

"Hello, Virgil! This is Dr. Picani. I'm just calling because our session was scheduled to start at 4 but you're still sitting out in your car-" Virgil looked up and could see a man in the building window on the phone waving to him, "-are you okay? Do you need to reschedule?"

"No, I'm sorry, I-. I'll be in in a minute," Virgil waved back and disconnected the call. After a herculean effort, he made his way inside and was greeted by Dr. Picani who led him back to his office.

"Now, Virgil, I think I'll spare you my normal introduction," Picani grinned at the inside joke with himself, "this is a safe place for you to say anything. Nothing you tell me leaves this room unless you talk with someone else about it. Understand?" Virgil nodded. His pulse was spiking but Picani's calm demeanor helped immensely.

"Alright, so let's get to know each other a little bit! What's your favorite cartoon?" the doctor grinned widely as though this were a completely normal question to ask.

"Uhhh does anime count? If not I'd have to say 'Happy Tree Friends'," Virgil stared the doctor in the eye as he jotted down the answer.

"Edgy! What about Spongebob?" The smile on his face never broke. They continued to talk until Dr. Picani worked the conversation around to why Virgil decided to come to therapy.

"My roommate and his soulmate think my lifestyle is pretty unhealthy, and it only really got bad when I started having nightmares instead of dreams after my birthday," Virgil scratched the back of his neck. It was hard to admit that he hadn't had a soulmate dream like everyone else did after their 18th birthday. To his surprise, the therapist didn't laugh or scoff.

"And how are the nightmares affecting you?"

"Well, I usually wake up screaming in the middle of the night and can't let myself go back to sleep. I'm lucky if I get 3 hours a night. Which means I'm falling asleep in Calc almost every day, not that I'm behind in class, and I drink a lot of coffee and energy drinks," Virgil paused and took a huge breath, "and this has become kinda a problem." He pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie to show the therapist the scratches and scars on his arm. "It's not like cutting! I just kinda scratch to keep myself from falling back asleep after the nightmares."

"Oh my, your friends were right, Virgil. This is very unhealthy. I'm glad you took their advice and came in," Dr. Picani smiled warmly to reassure Virgil. They spoke for the rest of the hour and just before Virgil left the doctor spoke up again, "Virgil, I'd like you to try an over the counter anxiety medication. We may need to get you a prescription for something that's stronger but I'd like you to try something over the counter first to see if you feel better. I think your anxieties are affecting your dreams. Maybe we can take that edge off so you can get some more sleep, which will have a domino effect on everything else. Maybe with better sleep, you can work on using less caffeine, which will help you feel calmer. Let me know how it works when you come in next week."

Virgil nodded hesitantly but stopped at a pharmacy on the way home anyway. He was ready to try anything at this point.

Patton was waiting when he got back to the dorm.

"How'd it go?" he asked with a bright smile.

"Doc's weird… but I think it's going to help," Virgil smiled back, setting his bottle of pills on his desk.

Virgil popped two of the pills. Patton had gone to sleep already and was happily dreaming. Probably talking with Logan too. Virgil settled into bed, uncertain of what the night would bring.

Virgil’s legs and feet were bound together with a thick tentacle that pulled him beneath the water before he could cry for help. Dragged underneath, Virgil found his lungs filling with water, but then discovered he could breathe the water without his body screaming for air. The tentacle dragged him deeper and deeper into the murky water.

After what felt like an eternity, Virgil could see a giant pair of green eyes reflecting in the formless dark. He kicked and struggled against the creature.

"I've got you now! Stop struggling, you emo nightmare!" a voice growled from the darkness.

"Let me GO!" Virgil cried out, tearing at the tentacle with his hands. The grip on his legs loosened and he kicked free, swimming towards the surface.

Rising to the surface, Virgil was tossed by the waves onto a sandy beach. He coughed up the seawater and laid on his back, sun burning down on him. Too hot. He couldn't move as the sand baked around him.

A cool, smooth sensation crept up his foot and leg. Virgil couldn't move to see what it was as it moved up his torso. He heard a soft hissing and opened his eyes to find a yellow snake staring back at him. He tried to scream but had no voice, tried to throw the snake off but couldn't move.

The snake… shook its head?

"Honessstly, why do you keep avoiding usss?" the snake spoke with a lisping voice.

Virgil found his and replied, "what the hell do you want with me?" His eyes were wide with fear.

"You haven't figured it out? We're your sssoulmatesss."

Virgil sat up in bed in a cold sweat. The bedside clock showed it was much later than he normally woke up in terror. Patton slept undisturbed. Virgil felt almost calm enough to go back to sleep. Not that he wanted to if his soulmates were monsters.

Over the next few weeks, Virgil used over the counter anxiety medication regularly. He felt a lot calmer in class and the nightmares were a lot less terrifying.

After a few sessions with Dr. Picani, Virgil picked up prescription medication and felt immensely more relaxed.

The landscape was still hellish and broken. Virgil didn’t feel like running. Instead of a demon, a boy his age with gorgeous green eyes and a streak of silver in his brown hair rounded the corner, ready for the chase.

"Alright let's fucking do- wait you aren't running," the boy looked confused and a little disappointed.

"You aren't a demon so why would I run?" Virgil shrugged.

"Oh my god, finally! Let's go find Double D," the boy grabbed Virgil by the wrist and started dragging him down the hall.

"What's your name?" Virgil asked, catching up to the other and twisting his hand so they were holding hands.

"Ooh you're fresh!" he chuckled, "just wait until we find Double D."

"Who's Double D?"

"Our other soulmate."

"Woah two soulmates?"

"Yeah, neat huh?"

"Sure, why 'Double D'?"

The boy stopped walking and turned to face Virgil, "we were waiting for you to tell each other our names and you took your sweet time so we gave each other nicknames. That's why you're Emo Nightmare and he's Double D."

"So what are you called?"

The boy grinned manically, "Fucker."

They continued walking through the twisted halls until they found another boy with one golden brown eye and one dark brown eye smiling at them as they rounded the corner.

"There you are. Did you finally catch him?" He asked in a silky smooth voice.

"Nah, for once the emo didn't want to run," the green-eyed boy grinned.

"Well maybe you two shouldn't have acted like monsters," Virgil smirked, "so, who are you guys?"

The green-eyed boy was practically bouncing out of his shoes, "I'm Remus!" he blurted out.

"My name is Janus," Janus held out a hand to Virgil, "and you are?"

"Not telling you," Virgil laughed at the scowls each of them gave them, "I'm kidding. My name is Virgil. It's good to meet you guys."

"Likewise," Janus grinned as Virgil took his hand.

Remus picked them both up in a strong vise-like hug and twirled them around. They continued to talk the rest of the night, agreeing just before they woke up to not exchange direct addresses or phone numbers until they all met in person.

Virgil woke up more refreshed than ever, excited to find his soulmates in real life. Occasionally the dreams still started as nightmares but he was able to recognize Janus and Remus in the terrors and they could help talk him down from the fear. Each night they got to know each other better, talking about school and work and hobbies and everything else they could think of.

One day when a stranger with two different colored eyes sat down across from Virgil in the cafeteria, it felt as though Virgil had known him his whole life.

Tag List: @stoicpanther @ifrickenhatedeverythingaboutthis @tsshipmonth2020

#tsshipmonth2020 #Soulmate September 2020 #dream sharing #soulmate au #nightmares #drowning tw #tw drowning #paralysis tw #tw paralysis #self harm tw #tw self harm #cursing #anxcietmus #logicality

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illnessfaker · 3 years

Note

do you have any resources on OSDD? like more in depth than just the diagnostic criteria, i'm very familiar with those, i guess more...people talking abt what it feels like? I have cptsd and I've been noticing things very similar to what you described in your post for a long time now. I thought I had DID for sure a while ago, but I was also actively manic/psychotic, so when that calmed down I assumed I had just been delusional. But the identity disturbances and dissociation persist. I don't think it's DID now it's osdd if it's anything but I'm wary of saying that for sure and rly would like some i guess more descriptive accounts of how symptoms are for someone with it. Sorry if this is a lot/you don't have anything of that nature, I'm glad to hear you're figuring out your own multiplicity and hope the understanding helps you in your healing process!

firstly, thank you for your kind words 😊

@/this-is-not-dissociative has a lot of info about did/osdd-1 (and other dissociative stuff) as well as having did/osdd-1 vs. dissociation in bpd/cptsd - though it's possible to have did/osdd-1 and bpd/cptsd of course - and did-research.org talks about osdd-1 a little bit (especially vs. having full-blown did). these are probably the best resources i can point you towards even though they don't contain many personal accounts. the first blog is staunchly against self-dx iirc and there's a lot of "you should speak to a professional about this" but u know how it is (at the very least they provide a lot of info and resources on how to go about doing that, it seems.)

some posts in particular that may be informative/helpful to you (there are probably many reasons to dislike this blog but it's what i've found most informative so yeah):

anp and ep, + an explanation of structural dissociation and how it models ptsd, cptsd, bpd, osdd-1, and did.

anp and avoiding trauma

an example of did vs. osdd-1

parts in bpd/cptsd vs. osdd-1

parts in cptsd vs. osdd-1 (this mod "kevin" has osdd-1, by the way)

parts vs. fragments vs. alters

alters not being easy to recognize

identity confusion vs. identity alteration

( read-more bc this got long despite it being past my bedtime lmao )

the problem w personal accounts of stuff and did/osdd-1 is presentations of these diagnoes will differ from person to person, sometimes greatly. contrary to media depiction they're also covert disorders by nature - they're psychological coping mechanisms for intense distress, and part of those coping mechanisms is being ignorant to the fact that your sense of self is fragmented / there are parts of your sense of self that are attached to trauma. i know of several folks who were initially diagnosed with osdd-1 but then later re-diagnosed as having did because the severity of their situation was very effectively hidden from them by this dissociation.

( another problem is that ppl are flawed and can give bad/wrong info on how stuff works or trends can give the wrong impression and unfortunately that's very common w did/osdd-1 spaces online. e.g. u don't have to know the name, age, etc. or know who's "fronting" or whatever with elaborate tagging systems and pages on ur blog with said info abt ur parts or "alters" to have did/osdd-1. worrying abt that stuff too much can worsen dissociation. )

it's not common for someone to have did/osdd-1 and for it to be obvious to themselves or others (who don't know what to look for, that is). this is why no small number of folks with did/osdd-1 are seemingly well-functioning on the outside since different dissociated parts often serve "everyday life" purposes such as going to work/school and these parts are the ones disconnected from traumatic "materials" as they're called. part of the reason why i'm wanting to conceptualize my experiences as osdd-1 is due to the fact that my default state (the "host"?) is emotionally dissociated from my trauma - i know it happened, but it seemed like it happened to "this body" rather than "me" and i don't feel anything about it until i get triggered. "apparently normal parts" that handle everyday life are usually trauma-avoidant or separated from the trauma like this in some way.

that being said, i'm still not totally sure if i qualify for an osdd-1 diagnosis or not tbqh. my situation is most like the "some individuals with OSDD-1 lack both amnesia and highly distinct parts" mentioned in the page i above linked (but yesterday and this morning/afternoon i was convinced i did - go figure). i'd been researching did/osdd-1 for a while (not necessarily because i thought it was what i was experiencing) which is part of what helped me come to terms with having experienced dissociation for a long time, and i thought up until like...the other day i definitely didn't have it. i came to believe i had some weird bpd/cptsd/szpd-like situation where emotional states had been "locked away" in boxes that i rarely touched as a defense mechanism against psychological distress. i also had a metaphor for my "emotional part(s)" as it/them being like, (a) ghost(s) that follow me around and aren't evil but occasionally "wrap their hands around my throat" to remind me that they're there.

then i saw someone w an osdd-1 diagnosis talk abt how they have parts whose "job" is to "feel sadness for them" as a defense mechanism against that kinda distress and then i was like...huh. and then i thought about how seeing my parents again felt kinda weird and distant. and that's kinda what tipped me off, despite having a pretty unstable sense of self and dissociation issues for a while. the "seeing my parents" thing is somewhat more major, because it felt different from my "default setting." thinking about it is uncomfortable and weird.

ur gonna have to do a lot of reading, tbh, and doing it in moderation is probably a good idea since thinking too much abt dissociation can trigger it. another thing is that conceptualizing yourself as having did/osdd-1 when you don't actually have that experience can worsen dissociation/identity issues as well so u gotta be careful abt how u approach it. but at the same time, cptsd and did/osdd-1 have mostly the same treatment methods anyway (and technically u gotta have cptsd to have did/osdd-1, not as like a diagnostic requirement really but a "you have to be traumatized from long-term traumatic experiences at a young age" sense) so many resources abt did/osdd-1 may be helpful to u regardless of whether you "have" them or not.

i can't tell u how to differentiate between symptoms of psychosis and did/osdd-1 (the blog i mentioned may have posts about that topic - there's two in their master-posts but neither were particularly helpful i don't think) since afaik i'm not psychotic but i wish you luck!

#no reblogs -#asks #Anonymous #resources

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amazingdriverfics · 4 years

Text

Making up

Hey, I missed some Sackler and thought of this, surprise surprise, instead of sleeping. It’s currently 2 am where I live and here I am. Anyway, hope you enjoy it!

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: lil bit of angst, language, smut, bisexual reader

Pairing: Adam Sackler x Reader

Summary: the last time you had seen him made you wish you would never do it again

Sitting in the chair next to the play director, you waited patiently as the actors one by one performed for their audition, it was boring, frustrating and you were almost throwing a chair at the stage. God, when did actors become so fucking terrible at their jobs? A deep voice took you from your thoughts back to what was happening right in front of you.

“Uh, hello. I’m Adam Sackler and I’m here to try for the role of George”. No way, this was not happening, there was absolutely no way that after all these years you were going to have to deal with him again, not after how things ended. As soon as you gathered courage to look at the stage your fear was confirmed, your ex-best friend was standing right there, and just by seeing the start of his performance you knew he would be the one to star it next to you. Adam always was an excellent actor, he could make you feel every single emotion he wanted, his every movement, facial expression and voice tone in character. Even in college, Sackler was simply explendid in what he did and that was one of the things you used to admire more in him.

6 years ago

In your room, already dressed, you hummed a pop melody you had been obsessed with while you finished your makeup. You intended to look the best you possibly could, that night was the night you had decided to finally talk to the girl you had been crushing hard for a couple of months. You met Angie in your part time job in the book shop in campus, she was a History major student who worked with you at mondays and thursdays, she always engaged in small talks with you and you did your absolute best not to gag while talking to the purple haired girl. One of the fraternities was throwing a party and you had invited her to come with you and your best friend slash roommate Adam Sackler.

You had moved into his place as soon as you went to college, the rent was something you could definitely afford, you would live 5 minutes away from the campus and with another acting major. At first, you found Adam very strange, the 6’3” foot man would get out of his room shirtless to have a drink of milk in the middle of the night and usually acted like you were not there while doing it, he would also engage in very strange topics, he hated when you brought any of your friends home and had very loud sex. You started to like Sackler when he helped you studying for a test, that was the first time the two of you had a decent talk. Ever since, you were inseparable, every night you would sit on the couch and watch some sitcom while judging the script and acting skills of the actors, you always went to bed with your tummy hurting from how much you had laughed. At the time, you had even developed a crush in the man, but he never gave you any signs that he felt the same so you dropped it, happy to call him your best friend.

“Are you ready? Your crush is here” Adam said bringing his head into your room and taking your mind off your thoughts about the man himself. “Oh my God, I’ll be there in a minute” you said applying one last coat of mascara. “Wait, Adam” you screamed making his head appear again. “What is it, kid?” his eyes met yours. “Do I look good?” you asked spinning around and showing all of you. “As usual, you are stunning. Now, let’s get going” the man stated leaving you again.

Slowly, you made your way to the living room watching as your best friend talked to Angie, her mere presence already making you nervous. She was so so beautiful, her purple hair was in a messy bun, she was wearing a tight black dress which hugged her body perfectly and high heels to finish the look. “H-hi, Angie, you are very pretty to-tonight” you gagged, cursing yourself for making a fool of yourself. As an attempt to calm you down, Sackler brought his right hand to your lower back. “You look very good yourself, y/n” your crush replied making your face become instantly red. “T-thank you” you replied as the three of you made your way out of your home to the party, Adam leading the way.

Getting to the party was easy, you three walked for about six minutes and you were already in the place, the sound blasting with dancy tunes, booze smell all around and a few couples making out in the grass in front of the house. The start was pretty fun, Sackler was the first to go solo - as usual - probably meeting some of his classmates or, more likely, already sucking someone’s lips out of their faces. You, on the other hand, was finally alone with Angie. After getting some drinks on the kitchen, the two of you made your way to the dancefloor, her body sensually touching yours as she danced against it, her head on your shoulder, it wasn’t long before your hands found her waist pressing her even more to you. The woman turned around and her black eyes met yours as she closed the distance between your faces sealing your lips with a deep hungry kiss. Unfortunately for you, after a while of heavy making out, Angie had to excuse herself to go to the bathroom. Her absence was starting to get too long making you nervous and worried that something might be happening.

It wasn’t long before you found her.

Angie’s purple hair was what instantly made you recognize her, she was kissing someone else and it didn’t take you much to recognize that someone as well, his black hair, tall and broad figure dressed in white shirt and jeans were impossible to mistake, you just couldn’t believe that your best friend was kissing the girl you had been talking about ceaselessly in the past months, Adam Sackler was such a jerk. Before you could stop yourself, you poked his shoulder forcing his mouth to disconnect with Angie’s as his head turned around to face you. You didn’t give him a chance to say anything since as soon as his eyes met yours, your hand hit his face making a loud slap noise muffled by the song. Shortly after, you were out of the house making your way back home.

That night ended even more terribly, the two of you had fought and said very mean things about each other, in the following day you were out there as you moved to a common dorm. Until this very moment you had never seen Sackler again.

Fortunately, as soon as Adam finished the audition and the director said she would call him to tell if he got in, the man left the auditorium, causing you to, instantly, feel lighter knowing that you wouldn’t have to deal with him today.

Oh boy, you were wrong. You only found out how wrong you were the minute you left the theatre when suddenly a hand pulled you from the direction you had been going. Your face stopped just a few inches before colliding with a defined chest that for you had just seen a couple of minutes ago.

“What do you want, Sackler?” you asked, your tone showing your discomfort with the situation. “Hello for you too, kid. After all these years you are still mad at me?” the familiar voice you had listened to so much years ago filled your ears. “After all that bullshit you said to me? What do you think?” you gritted through your teeth getting angrier by the minute. “I was a dick to you, I know and believe it or not, I’m sorry. I have an explanation for what happened that night” he replied with a pout and giving you the same puppy eyes he used to give you when he wanted you to cook dinner. You laughed, “This is going to be good, but we are not doing this in the middle of the street, come” you said unable to resist his supplicating face.

Stepping away from the man, you started to walk to your car parked just in front of the theater. Not hearing his heavy footsteps following, you turned to face him once again finding out that Sackler was still in the same damn spot you had left him in. “Are you coming?” you asked. As a reply you got an nervous nod from your ex-friend that quickly was getting in the car with you. The drive was filled with an awkward silence, neither of you knew what to say, things had ended badly and even though it had been a long time ago, losing your best friend because he couldn’t keep his tongue to himself still hurted a bit. Thankfully, the theater wasn’t far from your place, a three store building you had been living for two years, ever since you got the job in the acting company. There wasn’t a garage so you parked right outside not waiting for Adam as you made your way to the building’s front door, climbing its dark stairs while you looked for your keys in the mix of throwed things inside your purse. By the time you were finally able to open it, he was by your side switching his balance in between his legs.

As soon as you entered your living room taking off your shoes and letting your purse by the dinning table, you turned to Sackler anxious for what he had to say. In the months which followed the big fight, you had wished to speak to him a lot, but your pride just wouldn’t allow it, you had missed him a lot too, but eventually you gave up and finally let yourself leave what had happened in the past, however, seeing him in front of you took you right back to those months where you foolishly hoped that he would come to beg you for forgiveness or that you would gather the courage to confront the man and solve things.

“You can start whatever it is that you are planning to do” you said, doing your best to keep your emotions from showing in your face as you grabbed a cup of water trying to prepare yourself for what was coming your way. Adam swallowed dry before his voice met your ears. “Hm. Well, like I said before, I was a jerk to you and I know it and I also know that I probably should have looked for you earlier to say this” he started, his voice kinda shaky from the nervousness you could see in his body language. “You swear?” you mocked, a dry laugh following it. “I deserve this. See, kid, I read in a newspaper last week a review about your performance in the last play you theater company did and the minute your face showed up I was like ‘fuck this is the incredible girl I, yet again, pushed away being a total dick who can’t express his fucking feelings’. And I-i knew that I had to fix it, sure, maybe it is too late to, but I had to give it a try, I thought to myself.” he stopped looking into your eyes waiting for a reaction which caused you to nod interested in what Sackler had to say. “So I enrolled myself for the next male role they were auditioning for thinking of meeting you. I wasn’t expecting to see you at the try out, guess I was lucky” he shrugged “Here goes nothing. You see, kid, when you moved in, the first thing that went through my mind was ‘this woman is fucking hot’, but I was also really scared of being too fucking weird and end up pushing you away, I’m a master at doing this kinda shit, ya’ know, so I stayed away. That was until I saw you dying to pass in that dick Jefferson’s test and decided to help you out. You were sweet, funny and kind.” you still remembered the day vividly, it held a special place in your heart and knowing that it did the same to him, made you softer causing your indiferent facade to melt away.

“And shit, ever since then you were so fucking present in my day, helping me out with my shit, watching those stupid fucking sitcoms and judging them with me. I fell for you and it scared the shit out of me so I didn’t do anything. Then you started to talk about that Angie girl, and I didn’t even want to kiss her, but you were so fucking into the woman that the only way I figured out for pushing you away from her was fucking her. I don’t even know what the hell I was thinking, you know I’m not a very smart guy with feelings. When you catched me with her I could see in your eyes how much I fucked up so, as I made my way home, I built up some walls around me trying to keep the situation from hurting me, which didn’t work. So when I found you at our place instead of apologizing like I should’ve done, I screamed and called you names. When you left the other day I was so fucking embarrassed and heartbroken that I never went looking for you to have this stupid conversation I’m having now, six years too late.” Adam finished making you even more angry than you were before.

“Unbelievable. You are so fucking stupid, Sackler. You have zero emotional intelligence, for fucks sake. I wanted to kiss you so bad when we started to hang out, but you didn’t give any fucking signal back. Think for a second of how much easier all of that would have been. God dammit, you need to talk to people. If you had told me any of your feelings I would have never have fallen for Angie, your gigantic idiot.” you throwed up the words, mad at the man for causing a huge problem that should have never even existed. “You liked me back?” he said, voice above a whisper. “You bet your sorry ass I did, jer-”, you were stopped when his lips met yours all out of the sudden.

At first, you didn’t kiss him back still mad at him, but the part of you that never stopped missing Adam eventually won. You closed your eyes and allowed your hands to embrace his neck, your nails slowly scratching the part where his hair met the skin. As a reply, Sackler’s hand grabbed your ass tightly, squeezing it hard making you moan into his mouth and sending pleasure to your core. “Eager, are we?” he said mocking your red face and the little grunts that ended up escaping your mouth and dying in his. “Shut up, Sackler” you replied embarrassed at your own need. “Your wish is an order” he purred next to your ear before taking your earlobe into his mouth teasing it with his teeth, up next, his mouth started to make its way to your breasts leaving a tray of purple and red marks along the way. “Let’s take this thing off” he said as his hands held to the bottom of your shirt lifting it up as quickly as he possibly could. When the piece of clothing met the floor, his eyes met your exposed nipples since you weren’t wearing anything under the shirt.

“Such a fucking slut, walking out there without a bra, begging for these to be sucked” he said, his deep voice dripping with arousal as his fingers teased your hard nubs. “I guess I’ll be the one to teach you some fucking manners”. As soon as the words left his mouth, he let go of your right nipple replacing his fingers with his tongue and slapping your ass hard making you squirm under his ministrations. Shortly after, his tongue gave espace to his teeth as he carefully bit your nub. “M-more” you whispered, your cunt aching for his touch.

“More what?” Sackler replied his eyes with a mischievous glam looking directly into your as he gave your other ass check a hard slap making you groan. “Answer me, slut” he demanded, his roughness and dirty talk making you wetter. “More. Puh-lease, sir” your voice echoed through the room foreign to you since it was shaky from all the need and pleasure you were simultaneously feeling. “That’s more how I like it” the man stated taking all of his clothing of. “Undress and get on the couch” was all he said before starting to pump his length slowly, teasing its tip and gathering the precum oozing from it for lubricate his movements.

Your body reacted before your brain could form a coherent thought, in instants, your pants and panties were on the floor connecting the way from the door to the couch and you were on your hands and knees in its comfy surface, your breath loud and heavy as you watched Adam touching himself, your anticipation killing you slowly. As he closed the distance between the two of you, his hands never stopped touching his big and hard erection. It wasn’t long before he was behind you, his index finger from the free hand slowly going up and down your folds never touching your sore stiff clit. “You are such a filthy thing. We barely started and you are already dripping. Your sweet pussy begging for my big cock to tear it”, all you could do besides moaning a serie of ‘please’s was nod your head several times hoping that it would encourage him to end your pain. “You want me to make you cum? Beg for it, slut” he purred, none of his hands quitting their movements. “Please, please, sir, make me cum, make me feel so fucking good, like only you can” you begged desperate for it.

The reply you gave seemed to please him enough since his finger finally touched your clit causing you to release a relieved noise and allow your head to fall between your arms. While circling it, he took his other hand inserting two fingers in your slickery hole, curling them and hitting your g spot over and over again, following the same rhythm his other finger circled your clit applying just the right amount of pressure on it. Soon, your release was getting closer, your eyes started to close as you focused on every sensation Sackler made you feel. When your orgasm hit, you were sent to another dimension, pleasure coursing through your every atom as you moaned his name.

After you recovered from your intense climax, Sackler took his fingers away from your pussy, substituting them with his thick and long erection, stretching you open in ways you had never been before, every inch making your feel fuller. When he was finally done, his filthy words filled the air once again “Y-you are so fucking tight, you are strangling my damn cock”. His sheer length was making you squirm already, but every word that left his mouth make you unconsciously clench your cunt around him. As soon as you got accustomed to his size, you threw your hips back, a sign that he could start moving. Quickly, he was pounding in and out of you, in and out of you, in a merciless pace which made the sound of his pelvis meeting your ass echo loudly through the living room, your moans just as loud. Sackler’s hands were gripping your waist so tight that you knew it would bruise - not that you really cared -.

“Ur so fucking good to me - jesusfuckingchrist - I wished I had fucked this pussy earlier”, you tried to sassy him since he was the one to blame, but he was fucking you so well that you couldn’t form a understandable phrase, all that left your mouth were whimpers as you felt his cock filling you perfectly and hitting your cervix in a unbelievable pace. “You can’t talk back, slut?” he gave a strangled laugh “Like you better l-liike that”.

Taking one of his hands out of your waist, he took it to your clit rubbing it quickly and pressuring it deliciously, taking you closer to the edge with every passing second. The fullness you were feeling and the electricity your nub filled with blood was sending to your brain making you tighter. It wasn’t long before you climaxed for the second time, losing the strength of your arms as your body shook, if it wasn’t for his grip you would have fell with your face directly on the couch. “Sweetfuck, you are milking my cock, shitshit”.

His pace became irregular and it wasn’t long before he took his erection out of you painting your ass and back with his release. Gently, Sackler laid you on the couch asking you where the bathroom was. When he returned with a towel to clean you up, you were watching a sitcom - you had put it on after using all you strength left to pick the remote - waiting for him. “After you clean your mess, let’s watch it like the old times” you said shaking your head towards the tv.

“If you insist” he said with a smile on his beautiful face.

#adam sackler #adam sackler smut #adam sackler fanfiction #adam sackler/reader #adam sackler/you #girls hbo #adam driver #smut #make up sex

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janekfan · 4 years

Text

Through and Through

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26109502

Treating injury prompt for TMAHCweek!

“No, I,” Jon inhaled, shaky, “I think it’s here. I, I. I can feel it, like a. Hole in my mind.” Basira looked skeptical and Jon couldn’t blame her. Who would just leave something like the Dark Star unattended and alone? What were they missing?

“They just left it here.”

“I. Maybe.” He chuffed, running a hand through his prematurely greying hair. “Kinda wish Daisy was here.” The silence was heavy, oppressive, but the steps ceased. “Basira?” He could picture her eyes, shrewd in the dim. Watching.

“Yeah?” She began again.

“Sorry.” He breathed in again, deep and unsteady. “I know this isn’t--behind you!”

“Down!” She spun around, firing at the shadowy figure now standing between them, and numerous things happened at once. The muzzle flash momentarily blinded him and an incandescent burst of white hot agony lit up his side like a Christmas tree. There was a grunt of pain, his, Jon thought, a second, echoed by someone else and the glass bulb in one torch shattered, throwing them into even more darkness. He gripped his side reflexively where it hurt most and his hand came away bloody.

He’d been hit.

Likely by Basira which meant she was going to be very cross with him for failing to heed her instructions quick enough.

“Don’t move!” For a confused second, he thought she was shouting at him and he very gladly wished to follow that advice considering it hurt to even breathe, but he then realized it was for whoever was writhing on the floor, spitting at them.

“Oh, charming.” He murmured, still feeling around in the dark at his waist. The bullet seemed to have passed through him completely, hitting only the fleshiest part of him, but the blood was hot and thick and copious on his skin, soaking down his pant leg and spreading the burning sensation further, as if it was following its path. He pressed harder, balling up the hem of his jumper in an attempt to stem the hemorrhaging just enough to get through the compelling of another human being by force, the subsequent statement, the destruction of the Sun and really it was beautiful, such that he almost didn’t want to destroy it, and afterwards he felt entirely drained, like the power had been siphoned right out of him and into that deep and infinite void.

Without the adrenaline of the last few minutes, the bullet wound in his side was screaming for attention, the material clenched in his hand now sodden and heavy. Shouldn’t it be slowing by now? He was so focused on tamping down the miserable agony that Helen’s sudden appearance made him yelp. It was terrifying to say the least, that she was now offering them a way home when she’d trapped Manuela in her tunnels mere moments ago.

“Go find your Basira. Then let’s get you both home.” Home. That would be a relief. Trust Basira to key in on the glistening sheet painting nigh half of him, illuminating the frankly alarming amount of red.

“What happened?” To her credit, she sounded horrified, and Jon’s legs, with his impeccably perfect timing, chose that moment to fold like a house of cards. “Jon!”

“‘M. M’okay.”

“You’re bleeding, Archivist.”

“Thank you, Helen.” Through grit teeth, and the warmth was seeping out of his body and pooling at the back of him, underneath, exchanging places with the freezing cold stone beneath him. “I don’t. Uh. Think I, I.”

“You can still hurt, idiot.” And oh, it hurt. It did, it really did. “Hold still.” She lifted the layers and somehow the pain crescendoed to a new height and he writhed under her clinical touch, biting his tongue so he didn’t scream. “Hold still!”

“You don’t have to, to hit me, Basira.”

“You’re holding still now, Archivist.” Her face, there and not, shifting and still, appeared above him and made him so dizzy, he had to close his eyes against it.

“Thank you. H’Helen.” The sound of cloth tearing rang in his ears and he spasmed when Basira’s fingers packed the matching set of holes with it before heaving him forward and tying off a bandage around his waist. The dark swirled around him, making him nauseous, while a yellow door appeared in the corner of his see sawing vision.

“You’re going to need stitches.”

“C’can. Can you…” He bit off a pained groan, unable to finish the sentence he was attempting, when Basira lifted him back to his feet.

“Are you asking me to sew you up back at the Institute?” Kindly, Helen held the door open for them as they staggered through, amusement gleaming in her spiraling stare. At least one of them was having a good time.

“Y’yes?” He was pretty sure he couldn’t die from this. Maybe. But he did feel incredibly terrible.

“Ridiculous.” Basira muttered, absently thanking the Distortion for granting them safe passage through her numerous twisting corridors. They didn’t have to turn back to know her door was gone, nor did they have time to because Jon was already collapsing into a chair, all feeling gone from his legs, bitterly cold and trembling like the snow of Norway followed him all the way here.

“Basira? Jon?” Daisy limped around the corner, supporting herself on the wall, “I smelled blood--what happened?” She was checking his vitals, hands almost burning against his skin, the distance having been crossed in the span of one slow blink.

“Through and through.”

“D’Daisy.”

“Jon?” With him and Basira still on rocky terms, her concern, her careful touch, was a welcome thing. “I’m calling 999.”

“No, no, I. I’m.” His tongue sluggish, a beat or more behind what he was thinking.

“If you say you’re fine--Yes. We need an ambulance.” She rattled off the address and let the call drop. “I will make personally sure you aren’t.” Throwing his arm over her shoulder, she motioned to Basira to do the same, levering him up slowly out of the chair. He felt the blood drain from his face, clinging to consciousness with his fingernails. Maybe. Maybe Daisy was right?

He came awake in the back of the ambulance, not remembering when he’d closed his eyes, and felt someone squeeze his cold, cold fingers. Everything was closed off, the doors in his mind slammed shut and barred closed, numb, his connection to the Eye muddy and sluggish and his inability to Know so suddenly was frightening despite hating all it meant.

“Relax.” There was something on his face but his limbs were weighted down with rocks and he couldn’t move for the straps over his chest and legs. “Jon, look here.” Another hand, this time on his cheek and though his vision kept slipping in and out, he could recognize Daisy’s face, made sharp and angular from six months in the Choke. “You’re confused because you’ve lost a lot of blood, but I’m here.” A noise made him jump but she held him fast. “Just look at me. You’re alright.” He was tired. Daisy was here. He was safe.

“Whaz…” he didn’t know what was happening and words weren’t cooperating, even though he was sure Daisy had just explained it. Would she be angry that he couldn’t remember? It was so cold why was he so cold?

“Hush. Gonna get you fixed right up, Jon.” When their hands were separated he made a noise between a moan and a sob, the bit of warmth and connection torn away from him and he couldn’t remember, couldn’t remember what was happening. What was happening? He couldn’t breathe.

Couldn’t see.

Hear.

Think.

Could just ache.

“Said it was almost like a coma.” Voices. Quiet and familiar.

“So he wouldn’t have died, died then.” Who wouldn’t have?

“Shh. He’s coming ‘round.” His eyes were open but the room was dimly lit and he couldn’t make out who was there with him. “Jon?”

“D’Daisy?” Terrible. He sounded terrible and was so grateful for the ice chips she offered him to soothe his dry throat. The Eye cheerfully informed him that he’d had something of a “close one” and he believed it. He felt weak and slow, mind sluggish to parce new information and it kept getting snagged on Martin.

Where was Martin?

He missed Martin.

Was Martin safe?

“Jon?” Shaking his head in a vain attempt to clear it, he glanced at the wires and lines with their dripping bags of fluids and drugs before lifting his eyes to Daisy’s face. “You alright? Faded out for a minute there.” He wished he could fade out again because now that he was becoming more aware, the throbbing in his side was demanding his attention loudly and painfully. “Does it hurt?”

“Mmf.” Exasperation he might also classify as fond, crossed her features. She pressed a button into his hand, depressing his thumb for him, flooding his arm with a strange sensation and he pushed the chemical formula for morphine out of the way.

“Better?” Nodding, he began to feel disconnected and somewhat distant, as though the drugs were numbing everything and he was okay with that. It would be nice to rest for just a moment. Maybe he would even stay out of their dreams. That would be nice too.

“Never…” Jon could barely control his mouth. “Been shot before…” A lot of other things, but never anything so mundane as a bullet. It took a lot to hold back the sudden and powerful urge to start giggling.

“Let’s not make it a habit.” Basira’s blurry shape appeared over Daisy’s shoulder, arms folded and expression tight. “You need to listen to me on these excursions.” Jon could hear the guilt threading its way through each word. She hadn’t meant to shoot him, of course she hadn’t. He should have been quicker, he’d been in the wrong place at the wrong time. “This is all hard enough as it is without you getting in the way of my bullets.”

“Mhm.” There was a glow to everything now, as though haloed in bright white light and his lashes were painted with lead, each blink revealing a brand new still slide, like the hospital room was some bizarre mockery of a home movie. The pain was there in an abstract sort of way but the exhaustion was winning out, the Beholding drawing on what he had left in an attempt to speed up the healing of his injuries.

He’d have to ask Basira for a statement when he got back.

#TMAHC #TMAHCWeek #Jon sims #basira hussain #daisy tonner #bullet wound #episode 143 dark heart #what if #treating injury #blood #hospital #Hurt/comfort #the magnus archives #tma

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wakkowraith · 4 years

Text

Spirits, Give Me Strength

Caduceus Clay wasn’t much of an Earthbender. He was taught by his parents, who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents… Anyway. Colton and Calliope remain as the talented siblings, and the two most drawn to battle. Caduceus was fine with that. He could use his earthbending to shield himself and put distance between his opponents. He could make flowers bloom and moss gather where they’re needed. He felt he had a good relationship with the nature spirits. That was enough for him. At least, until now. - Caduceus and Jester were captured and imprisoned in a metal box. It was only their luck that Caduceus is the only Clay unable to metalbend.

I started an ATLA au because of Korra. This is my life now.

Some Notes: - This Exandria would be similar to the original ATLA (tech-wise). - Some of the Gods are past Avatar incarnations (Wildmother, Kord, and Ioun are notable ones for this AU) - Magic still exist to some extent - Although the nations are not officially separated into elements, they are largely populated by certain types - The Empire, and most of Exandria, do not know that metalbending is possible

I'll reveal more as I write more. I have some ideas :D

[Link To AO3 in the Notes]

“Dad! Mom! Look at me!”

Calliope’s shout attracted everyone’s attention in the garden. Even Caduceus, at an age where he didn’t pay attention to much except the beetles and the mushrooms, looked up at his sister in awe.

Calliope, an adolescent in firbolg years, stood on a jutting rock, her hands curled above her head, the nearby dirt floating in clumps around her alongside a stray, broken piece of sword. Most likely an old heirloom of the families buried in the Grove. As the rest of the Clays watched, Calliope stuck her tongue out the corner of her lips, and the sword gave a small dent.

She instantly dropped her concentration and yipped happily, as their brother Colton, nearly mid-teens, watched a short distance away, jaw dropped and a displeased curl in his lip. Caduceus, old enough to recognize this, laughed hard enough to topple over in the grass.

Cornelious scooped their daughter up, who squealed and clung to him. Constance, seated beside Caduceus on the moss, attempted to stand, but gave up when her swollen belly prevented her. She laughed with Caduceus and promised to make a special dinner tonight to celebrate (spotted mushroom and hot pepper soup - Calliope’s favorite).

A couple years later, Colton mastered metalbending with spite alone. Their family once again celebrated with a special family dinner (stuffed cabbage rolls and hot cider). Clarabelle had joined their family by that time and was already making flowers bloom.

Caduceus, still only able to hold a grass blade and move loose pebbles, waited for the day for his very own celebration dinner.

Caduceus Clay wasn’t much of an Earthbender. He was taught by his parents, who were taught by their parents, who were taught by their parents…

Anyway. Colton and Calliope remained as the talented siblings, and the two most drawn to battle. Caduceus was fine with that. He could use his earthbending to shield himself and put distance between his opponents. He could make flowers bloom and moss gather where they’re needed. He felt he had a good relationship with the nature spirits. That was enough for him.

At least, until now.

“Caduceus,” Jester said, letting her ice pick melt and bending it back into her waterskin. “I don’t think I can get us out of here.”

The metal enclosure made it impossible for either of them to bend their way out of this prison. The rest of their party, most likely tracking them, were left defenseless without their clerics.

And because of Caduceus, the ones who captured them threw them in the one type of fixture he couldn’t bend.

“Caduceus?” Jester said again. “Are you okay?”

Catching himself, he gave her a soft smile. “I am. I think.” He looked to the metal door, solid except for a steel grate window that let the only light in. Outside, they could hear horse hooves. Wherever these people were taking them, he didn’t want to find out. “I just wish Calliope were here. She could break the door off its hinges.”

Jester’s eyes blew wide. “Your sister can bend metal?”

“My family can,” Caduceus said, the warmth returning to his expression as he spoke. “My mother calls it a gift from the Wildmother.”

“So, you can get us out of here?!” Jester asked, relief and excitement causing her jump in place.

Caduceus’ smile fell. Seeing this, so did Jester’s.

“I’m the only one who hasn’t achieved that,” Caduceus admitted. “Well, Clarabelle hasn’t yet, but she’s well on her way. Closer than I ever have.”

Jester pouted. “If your whole family can do it, so can you Caduceus.”

“I’ve tried for a very long time, Jester,” Caduceus said. “It’s just never…” With a sigh, he backed against one wall and slid down, staring at the metal walls as if he could bend them with a glare.

Colton probably could, Caduceus’ traitorous brain thought.

Jester, ever the empathetic one, sat down beside him.

“You want to know something?” Jester said. “I wasn’t very good at waterbending.”

At that, Caduceus gave her a confused look. “Really? You’re better at it than Fjord sometimes.”

Jester giggled. “No, really! My mama isn’t a bender, but she knew my father is. For a while, she thought I wasn’t a bender, either. I didn’t start showing signs until like, years after I was born! That was when the Traveler started teaching me. He taught me how to heal with water.

“It wasn’t easy. Mama always told me waterbending was about being tranquil and graceful.” She stuck her tongue out to show how much she disliked this. “It was boring. I didn’t want to learn how waterbending worked, I just wanted to do it.

“I still wasn’t great at it until I left home. I could only make frost on the windows or, well,” She gave a mischievous grin. “Freeze locks.

“When I met Fjord, he kinda helped. He told me new things about waterbending I didn’t know. But it really became easier when we started fighting things.”

“That’s quite a story,” Caduceus said. “What made it click for you?”

Jester sheepishly shrugged. “I just started doing it when I really needed to, you know?”

“Hm.” Caduceus wasn’t sure if that helped, but he took note of it anyway. “Thank you, Jester.”

Jester grinned at him, and opened her mouth to add on to her story, presumably - but just at that moment, the carriage came to a sudden stop.

They looked at each other. Caduceus listened, and heard the muffled sounds of fighting. Jester sprung up to look through the grated window.

“They’re here!” She shouted. She cupped her hands around her mouth. “Guys! We’re over here!”

“Jester!” Veth’s voice came from the other side. “Is Caduceus with you?”

“I’m here,” He said, coming to stand beside Jester.

“I’ll get you both out of there!” She said. Caduceus heard a lockpick jam into the lock.

“Hurry Veth,” Jester said. She had a clear view of the fight outside, which Caduceus only heard bits and pieces of.

Suddenly, she gasped. “Veth, watch out!”

Something suddenly collided with their metal prison. Jester and Caduceus were both thrown back against the wall while their entire platform tipped. They were painfully tumbled as the box rolled.

They only came to a stop once the box settled on its back. Caduceus groaned, pain flaring up all over his body where there no doubt will be bruises. His rattled brain made no sense of their surroundings until he felt a drip of water on his face.

Opening his eyes, he was able to witness the sunlight slowly fade away as their prison sunk into water.

“Jester,” He said, urgently. “Jester, the window.”

By the time Jester sat up, an inch of water had filled the box. She sealed the window shut with ice and looked at him helplessly.

“I can’t bend beyond steel,” She admitted. “Maybe--Maybe Fjord can. If he can find us in time.” Her eyes searched for something she wasn’t willing to ask.

Through the ice, he saw the surface drift further and further away. The deeper they sunk, the harder it would be for Fjord - or any waterbender - to pull them up.

Caduceus pressed his knuckles together and took a deep breath. He reached out for that connection he always felt so strongly with the earth. It was like an extension of his own spirit, a place where he and the Wildmother could meet in the middle.

At first, he felt nothing. Just that cold disconnect he’s always felt when attempting to metalbend. It was even worse, when floating in water; it was like being lost in space, all connections to his spirit severed.

Then; the sudden scent of pine. Of fresh greens and sweet fruits, like summer in the Grove. She was here. She always was.

He felt it. He could envision the prison in his mind, could feel each corner like he felt his toes and fingers. He felt the weakness of the hinges on the door.

With power flowing through him, he pushed his fist upwards, focusing on the weak points of the door. With a deafening boom! the door flew off its hinges and blasted through the water, eventually coming to explode through the surface.

Caduceus didn’t have the time to celebrate before the box flooded with water, which was when Jester gripped his arm and took them to the surface. When they broke through, though, she was quick to shake him.

“Caduceus!” She shrieked. “You can metalbend!”

Her excitement was contagious. Caduceus laughed and clung to her, euphoric and relieved and so looking forward to seeing Colton’s face when he told them.

(He already knew his celebration dinner. It was cauliflower pasta and rice cakes.)

#critical role #caduceus clay #jester lavorre #cr fanfic #the mighty nein #atla au #markiboss writes

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ficsandcatsandficsandcats · 4 years

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Would you mind doing a fluffy smut with Jaskier? If... that's a thing? 😂 I just know that for the most part, I find myself super awkward at being "sexy" so I always end up getting embarrassed and laughing at myself, or I dont know what to do and just kinda laugh it off, and honestly Jask seems like the perfect person to match the awkwardness 🥰 So maybe a somewhat inexperienced reader is trying really darn hard but is just a little bad at it? 😜

Fandom: The WitcherPairing: Jaskier x ReaderWord Count: 1,330Rating: MTaglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak @whatevermonkey @mynamesoundslikesherlock @magic-multicolored-miracle a/n: Flut (Fluff Smut) is a valid genre and I hope you appreciate my attempt at it today. Thank you!

You had decided to be S exy today.

Jaskier claimed you were always beautiful and adorable and sweet and wonderful but the one word he never used to describe you was sexy. You couldn’t blame him, really. You weren’t the sort of person who oozed sensuality and confidence like some gorgeous mages you could mention. You were secure in your talents and abilities, in and out of the bedroom, but there was a sort of disconnect with sexiness as a concept. You recognized it when you saw it but you never quite saw it in yourself.

Today, though. Today you would be Sexy if it killed you and if it did kill you by gods your corpse would be sexy because you had cinched yourself into a corset situation and were fighting off the lightheaded feeling it caused as you reclined on the bed. You’d done your research and you knew that you had to ensnare all of the senses. Visually you had the corset. Audibly you’d use the husky, sexy voice you’d been practicing. For scent you’d tapped some perfume on your thighs and at your neck. He would feel your skin and, if all things went according to plan, you felt confident in the taste that he’d been pretty generous in complimenting in the past.

Jaskier walked into the room and gave you a warm smile, moving to put his lute down on the table. Not so much as a flicker towards the corset which stung but sometimes people didn’t notice right away, especially if they weren’t expecting it. You decided to instead work with the voice.

“Hello,” you rasped. He turned towards you, brows furrowed in concern.

“Are you getting a cold?” he asked. Your eyes widened in surprise and then you flopped back on the bed, an around thrown over your face as laughed at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.

“What is it?’ Jaskier asked, wanting to be in on the fun and flopping down next to you.

“I was trying to be sexy,” you admitted, shaking your head.

“What?” he laughed. You moved your arm and sighed heavily, still chuckling.

“Well you know I did some research-”

“About being sexy?”

“Yes.”

“Indeed?”

“Yes, shut up,” you giggled as he laughed harder at the thought of you sitting around piles of books with titles like SEDUCTIVE EYEBROWS and HAND STUFF on the spines, “I was trying to go about it in a sensory way.”

“A sensory way?”

“Stop repeating everything I say!”

“Stop repeating everything you say?”

You seized the pillow and thwapped him in the face with it, the downy feathers briefly muffling his laughter as you leaned up on one arm to try and explain.

“I was trying to attack you in all your senses.”

“That sounds violent.”

“But in a sexy way! Sexy violence!” you exclaimed.

“I think we’re supposed to have a safeword before we do any sexy violence,” he teased, snaking an arm around your waist to pull you in closer.

“ANYWAY, I put on this corset which you didn’t even notice and I tried to use a seductive voice and I put on perfume and I bet you didn’t notice that either,” you said.

“I do too notice!” he cried, “You smell like a lovely garden of… roses?”

“Peonies.”

“Lovely nonetheless!”

“Anyway none of it seemed to matter so I guess you are stuck with a partner who is many things but not devastatingly sexy,” you said. He shook his head at you

“Y/N, you’re very sexy. I don’t say it because it seems so obvious to me that you know!” he said.

“Jaskier last year for your birthday I tried to do that thing with honey everyone talks about and all I did was suffer the worst bee sting of my life,” you reminded him and he bit his lip to keep from laughing at the memory.

“Yes but you don’t have to do something to be sexy. Sexy looks different on many people. Geralt is sexy and so am I and we’re nothing alike,” he explained.

“Should I be worried about your long hunts with the sexy witcher?” you teased, giving him an amused little smirk as you quirked your eyebrow.

“Aha! See!” he said, pointing at your face suddenly, “That’s sexy. That little knowing look when you’re being funny and witty.”

“That was hardly a great show of wit,” you said, tucking your hair behind your ear sheepishly at the compliment. For all of your research you hadn’t actually looked up how to calmly accept being called sexy. It was easily the hardest part of the whole business. Jaskier’s hand ran up and down the length of your body, nimble fingers tracing the laces and silently working out how to undo them as he kept his eyes on yours.

“And it’s sexy when you correct me,” he said, planting a soft kiss on the corner of your mouth and against your jaw.

“I wasn’t correcting you,” you corrected.

“Ohhh do it again, louder,” he purred into your throat. You laughed and you felt him chuckle against your neck, moving his face back to look at you with those sparkling blue eyes lit with amusement and he kissed you again. Brief, featherlight kisses interrupted by giggling that gently wove into deeper, more probing kisses as you pressed against each other, the laces undone so quickly you were straining to breathe in on moment and the next you took a deep inhale, breaking the kiss to do so as he helped pull it all the way off. He palmed a breast and you sighed, arching into him as he took it in his mouth, the taut flesh sucked and stroked by his talented tongue, the crystal blue eyes looking up into your face to watch you react to his ministrations. You tangled one hand in his thick, chestnut hair and he made a low hum of approval that resonated against your chest as he moved back up to your mouth, planting kisses along your neck as he made his way to your lips. You gently pushed him down onto the bed and straddled him, your turn to work at his laces as he continued to kiss at any bit of flesh that presented itself to him from the side of your breast to your stomach and even your hand as you playfully tried to push him back so you could focus on undressing him.

You fell into a fluid, familiar dance as you freed him, stroking the hard length just long enough to watch him become a gasping, breathless mess beneath you before guiding him inside, a sense of completion as he filled you. You rocked slowly, unhurried and happy to take your time enjoying each other’s bodies. Jaskier threaded his fingers through yours, clasping your hand palm to palm as he thrust up into you, enjoying the way your body undulated and bounced and moved against him and the visceral truth of your flesh pressed against his.

“Mine,” he sighed.

“Mine,” you echoed, grinding against him, brushing him against the deepest part of you.

“My witty, wonderful, devastatingly sexy Y/N,” he said, a twinkle in his eye. You shook your head and laughed, the jolting of your body’s mirthful shaking doing wonderful things to you inside and out, and leaned down to plant a kiss on his lips.

“My complex, confident, masterfully talented Jaskier,” you said, your strokes moving to the pace he set as he gripped your thighs tighter and hoisted you up a bit to thrust into you a bit quicker, your breath catching in your throat and his rasping against your chest as he did.

“I’m not that complex,” he gasped, “I’m a simple man, really. With simple needs.”

You laughed, a sound that broke into a gasping moan as he pushed you over the edge, the ripples of your climax blending into his as he shortly followed, kissing you the whole way down.

#Anonymous #jaskier x reader #jaskier smut #jaskier fluff #jaskier imagines #reader request

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