#like I JUST got this game just a few days ago
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knock knock (Raphael x F!Player)
Chapter 2, In Which You Meet A Tall Dark Stranger
Chapter 1
SUMMARY: Careful which mods you install for BG3. Did you read the terms and conditions carefully?
TAGS: meta romance, psychological horror, smut, the character is the player, Raphael is after you, you wanted him, you invited him to our world, he accepted your invitation
RATING: explicit
AO3
Chapter 2
The next day, during your lunch break, you made another attempt to persuade Raphael to take his clothes off. The clock struck noon; your private laptop was on the right side of your desk, while your work laptop was on the left, Teams open and your mouse ready to show signs of activity from time to time.
The sun was shining through the wide open window, children playing outside. Idyllic. Nothing sinister could be happening in broad daylight with those happy sounds in the background. The horror movies told you so. Except for Midsommar.
Well, screw Midsommar, then. This isn’t Sweden.
"All right, I'm going to set some ground rules here," you said to the loading screen. "I can be as creepy as I want to be to you, because you're just a bunch of pixels, but you can't do anything creepy to me, because I'm a human being. Got that? Good."
The sound of your voice made you feel braver.
As you heard the familiar sinister 'you-let-the-villain-win-bad-player' music in the background, you covered your eyes with your hands and peered through splayed fingers.
Then he appeared. Just as you had wished. Perfectly naked, with a stereotypical video game six-pack and just the right amount of body hair. The orange lighting made his skin glow, and his flaccid penis, like that of the game's generic male model, vanished from sight as he strode closer.
Your ears pricked up to listen to the scripted monologue you knew by heart, watching (waiting?) for any hiccups or new animations, the YouTube app on your phone playing the identical scene for comparison.
Everything happened exactly as it should, word for word, save for the speaker’s nudity.
All good. You breathed a sigh of relief and spread your fingers wider to admire Raphael a little better.
Same as always. Handsome and charming and completely imaginary, which, now that you thought about it, was the biggest part of his charm.
"Ta-ta... for now," Raphael's signature line echoed through the room.
"Bravo, Raphael," you praised the screen. "You've done nothing creepy. You have earned your title of Archdevil Supreme."
After waiting for a response that never came, you laughed off your silliness and shook your head. Your laptop was overheating, giving off a slight synthetic smell. Should have upgraded a long time ago. Just need to put enough money aside.
"OK, screenshots," you said. "I wanted to take some screenshots. Do you mind, Raphael? Can I have your consent? They’ll help recruit more followers for you, my liege."
Your phone vibrated. The FaceID gave you a preview of the Discord messages from Queen-of-the-Bored, one of the few Raphaelites you'd actually spoken to directly and felt like you kinda sorta knew.
queen-of-the-bored: ngl that was some really funny joke, we spent the whole night trying to recreate it :-D
queen-of-the-bored: you sounded legit worried over that voice message tho haha
you: it was legit. check the reddit thread
queen-of-the-bored: which thread
Ok, let me google that for you. You typed in the same search words as yesterday, "Raphael naked mod April prank," clicked on the thread from yesterday, and skimmed through the comments.
“nah not joking there is this naked mod for teenage mutant ninja""
“all dongs appeared MASSIVE on April’s first”
Scrolling further, you realized that was not the correct Raphael - it's Raphael the Turtle, not Raphael the Devil. Why was there so much NSFW content about him? What did people see in turtles?
You quickly corrected your search to "Raphael BG3 naked mod April prank," but it didn’t bring back any relevant results. So, you changed it to "last twenty four hours" just to be thorough.
Didn’t help. Nothing. You were the only to be called a naughty little mouse. The special one.
queen-of-the-bored: which thread dude???
you: my bad it was the turtle
queen-of-the-bored: ???
queen-of-the-bored: I am slowly getting worried about you haha
Next step? Contact the mod developer directly? What if they have no idea what you're talking about?
Then what? What were the alternative theories? You've been hacked and doxxed to madness for that one Twitter post that got people waving pitchforks at you?
There you go, you were scared again. Daytime, sun shining and children playing outside, but there you were, alone in your flat, scared again.
You took a deep breath and looked at the screen. "All right, I understand, Mr Archdevil Supreme. No screenshots. I'll uninstall the mod and I apologise for my disrespectful behaviour."
You couldn't bear to see Raphael's face on the screen again so you hit ctrl alt delete instead of Escape and stared blankly at the Task Manager.
Next, you uninstalled the mod that had caused all this trouble. Then you went to Tumblr and removed the reblog of Raphael in a cat playsuit with the tag "my poor miau miau". Then you deleted your bookmarks on AO3. Your Twitter account was beyond repair, so you deleted it altogether.
None of these actions made you feel any better. You grabbed a quick cup of shrimp noodles, but eating it only made you feel worse. As you tasted the sodium on your tongue, you came to a realisation: what you needed was to go the fuck outside.
You had been stuck in your flat and home office since the start of the pandemic, chronically online. Online work, online colleagues, online friends, who was the last real person you saw, talked to and hugged?
Your mum, probably.
Oh yes, no wonder you were going mad. You need to get out there and meet some real people. You opened Discord, quickly scrolled past the sketch of Tav giving Raphael head, and typed a message: you needed to touch grass.
queen-of-the-bored: well there is Comic-Con this weekend
you: this is NOT touching grass, this is burning it
queen-of-the-bored: true
you: besides not going alone
queen-of-the-bored: maybe Raph will keep you company 😈
What? Such a strange thing to say. Or was it? Who the hell was that behind the screen anyway? Apparently someone called Sammy from Ohio. Supposedly. Wasn’t she the one who recommended this mod?
She was.
Come on, you're just letting your paranoia get the best of you.
queen-of-the-bored: oh BTW I found THE hottest Raph smut
queen-of-the-bored: mind the tags it's so hot but soooooo fucked up
queen-of-the-bored: just read it trust me thank me later
Who the hell were you, Sammy from Ohio, Korilla? You put the phone down and started pacing around your small flat. It was not much to pace around, only forty-two square meters.
At least you rent a flat in a building with other people and not some house at the edge of the forest. Strangers live below you, above you and on either side of you. They don't know you and you don't know them... but they were there, just in case...
Just in case.
"You know what?" you said to your computer. "I need a break. I need to focus on my mental health. Self-care, Raphael. I'm not playing with you. For now".
The moment you finished speaking, your phone lit up again with another notification. This time it was an email. You made a mental note to start managing your notifications better.
Did you enjoy your Devil Dick © - Natural Red experience? We know you will be back for more 😈 Check out the new...
What the fuck? Oh no, no, click away and make a mental note to never order from Bad Dragon again with customer satisfaction emails like this. It's borderline harassment. You ordered from them ONCE, as a joke, just to see what ridges might feel like.
Not as good as the smut had promised you,
Private. Private stuff. Between you and your bed drawer. Between you and your browser. God, how much stuff you have in your browser history. You should have used incognito mode more often.
Would that have helped?
"That was low, Raphael," you muttered. "Or is it Haarlep today?"
You glanced around your room before angling your computer screen towards the wall, then retrieved the Devil Dick © from its hideaway in your bedside drawer. Your fingers grazed over the silicon ridges as you swiftly stashed it away in a box beneath the bed.
"If you must know, it was too big for me. Flattered?"
Crawling out from under the dusty bed, you looked up and realized for the first time that anyone in the building could easily peep into the flat if they tried hard enough or cared enough to do so.
Enough is enough.
You need to hydrate, you need to eat some vegetables, you need to start jogging again and you definitely... you definitely need to go out and talk to some real people. Maybe it's time to get back on Bumble and try your luck again. Who knows, it might actually work this time.
He wouldn't like that.
Where did that thought just come from? He wouldn't like it, who the hell cares what some imaginary devil thinks.
Standing up straight, you pointed a finger at the screen in front of you.
"Raphael, just so we are clear, you and I: I really like you. I do PR for you every day for free. You don't have to scare me to get my attention. You should appreciate me and be nice to me. I'm the best agent you'll ever have.”
Having made your point, you put on your running shoes and AirPods. It brought back memories of all the times you had jogged through the nearby park. Afterwards you'd sit on the bench and eat an ice-cream, watching couples, happy and glowing, watching families with children, happy and stressed, watching people living their lives in a reality parallel to yours, and then you'd come home and go into a reality parallel to theirs.
The AirPods picked up right where they left off last time.
I want to hold you close, soft breasts, beating heart, as I whisper in your ear
I wanna fucking tear you apart
You removed the AirPods from your earlobes and exhaled. This wasn’t Raphael's fault. This is She Wants Revenge, you have listened to it a thousand times. You knew the lyrics, they hadn't changed.
You can't even listen to music anymore. Pull yourself together.
Get some vitamins from the pharmacy.
Touch some goddamn grass.
***
You stuck to your digital and physical diet until the weekend, and as a reward, nothing happened. No oddly timed emails, no strange messages, no random phone calls. Maybe it was your pitch talk or the vitamins you started taking, but either way, Raphael was on his best behavior, and so were you.
No Tumblr, no AO3. Didn't even touch Steam. Got into a highbrow podcast about the Roman Empire.
You set a new personal record for days without 'self-indulgence', as Raphael would put it, although that wasn't really the intention. Something always seemed to interrupt - whether it was the loud hum of the fridge (which was always obnoxious) or the flickering light in the hallway (which had been broken for over a week).
By Friday, you had finally finished the work projects you had been putting off for months. The job wasn't too bad, but it hadn't been any fun for years, if it ever had been. You did the bare minimum to get the paycheck and keep the job, and your employer kept the paycheck at the bare minimum to keep you. If there was anything else you could do, you would do something else.
Still, this was probably the most productive week you had in years. You scrubbed your flat from top to bottom twice and cleared your wardrobe of clothes that no longer fit.
You were proud of yourself.
Gradually your sense of security began to return. You tried not to dwell too much on the incident with the naughty little mouse; if you didn't think about it, it almost felt like it hadn't happened.
On Friday, you plucked up the courage to play BG3 again, wandered through Baldur's Gate, avoiding the House of Hope for the time being, had a few fights, played the graveyard scene with Astarion (daring, but a small part of you hoped it would make Raphael jealous enough to come out again), and shut it down.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
You hadn't planned to go to Comic-Con. For one thing, it was on the other side of the city, in the business district of the convention centre, so it would take at least an hour to get there. Secondly, going alone just felt... weird.
It was not until Friday night that a little voice in your head started to whisper, "Why not? Maybe you'll meet some like-minded people”. Make some friends you can actually touch (not in a creepy way).
It's a better chance than endlessly swiping on Bumble.
Maybe you'll meet...
Neil Newbon. If you can get past the hordes of fangirls. Andrew Wincott. No, Andrew Wincott wouldn't be there; you'd checked beforehand. To be honest, hearing his voice might have been too much for your psyche at that moment.
So you decided to go. You went, and it was as fun as you had imagined it would be - that is, hardly any. The convention hall was huge and crowded, rows and rows of stalls, crowds and crowds of people. Live panel discussions, cosplayers, flashing lights, bright colors, chatter, laughter, very loud, very lively.
Raphael wouldn't last a minute in that chaos.
"Hell is other people," you thought to yourself, quoting Sartre. If you ever met Raphael, you'd quote Sartre to him too. He must know that you read intelligent books and not just fanfiction.
Some people might be comfortable going to events and eating alone in restaurants, but not you. It's even worse being the odd one out in a group of odd ones. How come all the others had someone to take along? Where did they find all those people in this godforsaken city?
You talked to a few people and a few people talked to you. Nothing really took off. Your mind was elsewhere, to be fair. You were looking for something in the crowd.
Someone.
It was absurd, yes, but so was what happened this week with the mod. You had met a few Raphael cosplayers, three at least, but they were...
Well, of course they weren't him. But they did a great job with the clothes and the hair and the make-up, and one had really great prosthetic horns, and you touched them and admired them and praised that particular Raphael for all his hard work in creating them.
They were real people, not video game characters that had come to life, and neither were you. You looked down at your jeans, at your thighs, and thought you should start jogging again, and felt even less comfortable in your own skin.
Then Neil Newbon came along and things quickly became too chaotic for you.
You decided to take a break and walked down the street until you came across a cosy café - none of that generic chain stuff, but something that tried hard to be authentic with pretty flowers in the windows.
Sitting alone at a table for two, you looked down at your phone and opened the Discord chat because you came here to talk to some real people.
In the main chat, there was a heated debate about whether devils are allowed to torture mortals into signing contracts. Both sides presented arguments based on lore, edition contradictions, past precedents and personal conviction.
A man's voice interrupted you as you typed your own very elaborated opinion of hellish law. "Excuse me, may I?" he asked, his words slightly muffled by the AirPods.
"Sure," you replied with practiced friendliness, not even looking up. That was always your default answer. It's not like you can say no to this kind of request anyway.
People ask and do a lot of things out of politeness. That was precisely why you took the AirPods out of your ears.
The moment you lifted your eyes to meet the man's, you learned the true meaning of the word 'jumpscare'. Your body jerked upwards, the table shook and the coffee cup tumbled - narrowly missing Raphael.
Raphael.
Not a man who looked like Raphael, not a man who was dressed like him - Raphael.
You weren't sure if you made any sound or uttered any words. You probably yelped.
What you did do for sure was gawk.
His skin tone identical; hair slicked back just right; eyes uncannily accurate in hue and shape - down to every wrinkle. A perfectly realistic rendering. Not the uncanny valley type, no, perfectly believable. This is exactly what he would look like if he were real and swapped his fantasy clothes for a business suit.
So this is what it feels like to go completely insane.
Very banal, actually. You are having a psychotic breakdown and no one is even looking at you, except for an imaginary devil.
"Oh my, my apologies," Raphael said as he quickly grabbed napkins to mop up the spreading lake of coffee on the table. "I did not mean to scare you."
Oh, but he did, very much. You could not breathe, your chest encased in an iron brace of fear. It's you who needs to apologise, and apologise fast, and apologise a lot, and beg for mercy. Especially for liking the Twitter art of him being spit-roasted between Yurgir and Haarlep.
If you only knew... you would never have clicked on it... absolutely never... all those posts you wrote...
"Raphael?" you managed to squeak out. “I didn’t mean it, I swear.”
This must be how a deer feels in the headlights of an oncoming truck.
He looked at you, very sincere confusion etched across his handsome face. "Excuse me?"
You drew in a shaky breath, your nostrils flaring as you tried to catch a whiff of cherries under the aroma of fresh coffee, not caring how absurd you appeared. Yes? No? Or was that strawberry jam on his croissant? Have your senses gone haywire? Your mind certainly has.
"You're... you're here to cosplay Raphael?"
The thought tumbled out of your mouth before it had time to fully form in your head. It was the only explanation that made sense... It didn't, but it made more sense than all the others put together.
Raphael moved closer, pulled up a chair and asked, amused: "I beg your pardon, I'm here to do what to whom?"
The voice. The voice was the same. Andrew Wincott's voice. The man had simply stolen his voice. Or had the man stolen it from him? The movements, the mannerisms, the facial expressions. This man could not be Raphael because...
Well, because this man was real. As real as you were.
"Raphael," you explained. "From the video game. Are you here to cosplay... to play... Raphael?"
The man gave you a look as if questioning your sanity, and rightfully so. You were also sweating bullets - could he see the damp patches under your hoodie? You pressed your arms against your sides; wouldn't want him noticing.
"I'm hardly an actor," Raphael replied with a polite smile, "although there was a time in my youth when I entertained such ambitions."
He chuckled lightly and took a leisurely sip of his coffee.
"I'm here to enjoy my espresso, nothing more. I... have never been particularly fond of..." he added with the disdain of a typical middle-aged man, "... video games.”
You had no response for that because Raphael wouldn't be into video games either; that much was believable.
"My office is across the street," he said, pointing towards the office complex opposite you. "Precisely there."
The golden sign on the building across from you, Kirkland & Ellis, told you nothing, except that Raphael had an office job and an office space and a desk and all the things that the devil shouldn’t have because the devil invented them to torture the others.
Raphael was dressed like he had just stepped out of a board meeting. A three-piece slate gray tailored suit, white shirt peeking out from underneath, silk tie and matching pocket square. Of all the modern Raphael AUs, you preferred the Professor one, you voted for it, you had Sucharide’s fic bookmarked. The Professor was more, ugh...
Safe.
As for you, you were wearing a hoodie with your university on it. A clean hoodie, but a hoodie nonetheless. What the hell else would you be wearing to Comic Con? You didn't do your hair. Well, putting it in a ponytail is not doing your hair. Why did you not do your hair?
"I know, I know, you must be wondering why anyone would toil on a weekend," Raphael continued. That was the last thing you were wondering. "Alas, no rest for the wicked."
"Wicked?" you echoed. You looked at the people in the cafe, sure they were staring at the both of you, but they weren't.
"Oh," he chuckled lightly, "it's just an expression – 'No rest for the wicked.' You've never heard it before?"
"Of course I have," you said, momentarily embarrassed. "Never mind...sorry."
"You have nothing to apologise for," Raphael raised his eyebrows. "In fact, I should be the one to apologise for startling you. May I offer you another cup of... ah, what was that... cappuccino? After twelve? Tsk-tsk, young lady".
Not a single modern man could ever manage to say the words "tsk-tsk, young lady" as charmingly. That was Raphael.
"No bother, I can get one myself," you said quickly, about to stand up.
He raised his hand slightly and put it down to halt your movement, and for a second you thought he was going to touch you, and if he had, if you had felt the skin of his skin, he would have felt more real and you would have died on the spot from a bursting heart.
"I have no doubt about that. But may I treat you? It would be my absolute pleasure”.
Pleasure. The way he said the word was straight obscene. You couldn't handle the word 'pleasure' coming from a man who had been responsible for more than half your orgasms in the last few months.
So in your daze, you mumbled: "Yeah. Yeah, sure."
Raphael stood up and walked over to the barista. She acknowledged him, so that's one point for him being real and you not hallucinating. Not only did she acknowledge him but she flashed him a goofy grin - clearly smitten.
Of course she is.
You have to take a picture of him. How do you take a picture of someone without their consent without being a total creep?
You don't. It's in the fucking definition; you can't. But you should. Maybe you'll open your camera roll and see someone completely different, and then you'll know it's time to call for mental health services.
Your phone was buzzing with messages, which you quickly swiped away and went straight to the camera. You took a picture of him from behind while he ordered you a coffee. The barista gave you a “fucking weirdo” look.
Fuck you, you thought, you have no idea what I am going through right now. Then you switched to the camera roll and checked to see if the photo reflected what you saw.
A broad, fit back of a very attractive middle-aged man with lush brown hair, paying for coffee with cash.
You couldn't decide whether this made you feel better or worse.
When Raphael returned with your cup, you had something for him too. "This is the character I was talking about," you said, a screenshot of virtual Raphael ready on your screen.
Anyone who saw the screenshot would say, "Who motion-captured me?"
Not Raphael. He barely glanced before shrugging and handing your phone back. "Hmm, I see some resemblance, I guess."
Resemblance? What fucking resemblance? There was no resemblance; he WAS Raphael! You were about to argue but he beat you to it: "Why? Were you hoping to meet this...Raphael?"
His voice dropped an octave and he looked at you intently. He was flirting - openly, unashamedly.
"I...I was," you stammered out. "He's my favourite character."
Brilliant, brilliant line. Dear diary, today I wanted to meet Raphael, my favourite character from my favourite game. So much for quoting Sartre.
"Well now, I'm flattered," Raphael purred, causing you to wriggle uncomfortably in your seat. "I do bear some physical likeness."
That was a massive understatement.
The man had a disarmingly charming smile. You tried to remember if Raphael had ever smiled like that in the game. It was mostly scowls and grins and smirks, but this kind of smile? You didn't think so. You caught a glimpse of yourself in his hazel eyes, and that was not Tav; that was you. Just you.
Not that you were unattractive or anything. Average. Maybe even a little pretty on a good day. You didn't like yourself very much. Then again, most people don't. That's how the beauty industry makes its money.
You got your share of attention, some, nothing to brag about. Had two boyfriends, it didn't work out, you used to care, now you don't. Certainly never got any attention from men who looked like him.
Why should this man be interested in you, why? Ah, yes. Your soul. He probably wants your soul. Is it worth much at all? Is it worth coming all the way to Earth? You wanted to apologize to him for going through all this trouble just for you.
"So this event in the convention hall down the street..." he snapped his fingers as if trying to recall a forgotten name.
"Comic-Con 2024," you supplied. "It's huge in fandom culture. TV shows, video games, that sort of stuff.”
"Ah. Not my kind of entertainment - or my kind of audience, for that matter," Raphael said with a slightly raised eyebrow, eyeing the “Astarion approves” badge on your backpack. "It does remind me of a deal I signed recently."
"Deal?" you asked in a weak voice. He nodded. "What deal? With who?"
"With who? No, I meant the Microsoft-Blizzard acquisition".
Ah, that kind of deal. The words felt so reassuring, so real, the acquisition. Raphael would have no idea about these words. Raphael wouldn't say "Microsoft". You mean the real Raphael. What the hell is a 'real' Raphael again?
For the first time, you let go of a little tension. You took a first sip of your coffee and leaned back slightly in your chair.
"Actually, I think these acquisitions are really harmful for the industry," you said.
Why did you have to be so confrontational? You didn't have anything clever to say about such things, so you spoke the truth instead. Bad idea.
"How candid of you to say that. Well, I’ll be just as candid with you: I am indeed a villain." Raphael grinned. "I hope you can forgive me."
There went your short-lived relaxation, which lasted less than a minute. Raphael had just looked at you and said "I am a villain". Challenge him. Tell him it's him because, well, it's him. It can only be him. Tell him you know it's him, and then...
And then what?
"Everybody's got a job to do, I guess", you managed to utter the most generic phrase in existence.
"Isn't that so..." Raphael replied, pausing for a moment before finishing the sentence with your name.
You did not introduce yourself to him. You were sure of it. Absolutely sure.
"How do you know my name?" you asked, half rising from your chair, raising your voice and quickly lowering it again. "I didn't tell you my name. How do you know it?"
Raphael gestured to your phone, which lay on the table screen between the two of you. Your work ID card was tucked away in its transparent case - something you hadn't needed for a while.
It had your first and last name on it.
"I saw it right before my eyes," he explained. "I thought it was a hint."
"It wasn't," you said.
"Oh, another faux pas on my part then," he said. "At this rate, I owe you something to make up for all my many transgressions. Perhaps dinner?"
You let out a nervous chuckle. One of your popular Tumblr posts had been an impassioned rant about how Raphael had promised a similar in-game offer but failed to deliver despite the many times you gave him the Crown.
"I seem to have absolutely terrified you, and that was not my intention. I insist on making it up to you. If you allow me, of course. I don't want to impose. Would you allow me to?"
He looked at you with the intensity of a man admiring a beautiful woman, his shoulders back and chin slightly up, trying to present himself from his best angle - something you've seen men do before, but rarely (if ever) to you. It was as if he could hang on every word that came out of your mouth, simply because he enjoyed watching your lips move. Raphael looked like he was in love, for Christ's sake.
Your cheeks grew warm.
"Yes," you replied.
He kept silent for a bit, savouring your answer.
"Splendid. Where might I collect you?"
It took you a moment to realise that he was asking for your address. Your personal address. Shouldn't he know it already, if he was Raphael? You replied as nonchalantly as possible:
"Why don't I give you my number and we can arrange to meet at the center?"
His expression darkened slightly; you've seen this look in the game before.
No, you shouldn't have said that. You wanted him to like you.
Desperately.
"You don't trust me?" Raphael's voice dropped an octave or two, playful and just a little threatening.
You felt his breath on your face (cherries?) and the next second you stopped feeling your legs. The attraction that had been simmering inside you for months started boiling over.
Breathe. Pretend it's not Raphael. A man came up to you in a coffee shop and asked you if you trusted him in that kind of tone, leaning in like that. You know what the sensible thing to do would be - get up and walk away. And if it really was Raphael, get up and run away.
You remained seated and stayed.
"Just, ugh..." was all you managed to get out of the jumbled thoughts in your head; two coherent sentences so far into the conversation, and both of them made you sound like an absolute madwoman.
Raphael laughed.
"Of course you don't trust me, that's only prudent, and you seem to be quite an intelligent young lady. But just so we are clear, you and I: you have nothing to fear from me. What is that number of yours?"
Quite an intelligent young lady, the words echoed in your mind and you remembered your naughty anonymous Tumblr confession: I would suck every last drop of cum out of him as long as he kept praising me.
God, everything you've read with him in the main role. Double penetration, double vaginal penetration, pet play... you weren't even into half of it. You hoped Raphael didn’t think you actually wanted him to do all of the things you read with you.
You just liked clicking on random links.
"Do you need something to write it down or...?" you asked hesitantly.
"I will remember," he said curtly. “I do not forget things easily”.
You realised that there was something far more frightening than anything that had happened before: that he wouldn't remember, that he would never call you, and that this conversation and this meeting would end there.
So you carefully enunciated each number, then took a pen from your pocket and wrote it down on a napkin: it seemed romantic in the movies, but your handwriting and the coffee stain made it look like a secret message from the madhouse.
He grinned and tucked the napkin into the pocket of his suit.
He took the last sip of coffee and then took your hand in his. He touched you. His skin was warm and real and soft and everything you had ever imagined, his touch surprisingly tender.
Your whole body responded to that tiny crumb of affection, viscerally. You hadn't realized how famished you were for a touch until that moment.
He lifted your hand to his lips and pressed them against yours. His lips were soft too, slightly damp from the coffee.
"I am looking forward to our rendezvous," Raphael murmured against your palm. "Ver much so."
Rendezvous.
In any other situation, a middle-aged man kissing your hand would be downright creepy. But this... this was a fever dream, an illusion, anything but reality. Because there was no way this madness could actually be happening to you.
Was it a bad thing? Was reality ever... this? So unpredictable? So exciting?
You only snapped out of it when the door closed behind him, but you snapped out hard. You practically threw yourself at the next table, where a group of guys were sitting, their appearance screaming video games - backpacks and scruffy beards, Warhammer-emblazoned T-shirts.
You grabbed one by the shoulder and hissed urgently: "Guys-guys-guys-guys." Your words came like rapid fire. "Tell me that guy doesn't look exactly like Raphael from Baldur's Gate? That one? On the street behind the window?"
Damn, you sounded desperate.
"Ah, sorry, never played it," came the nonchalant reply before he turned back to his friends' conversation.
"Baldur's Gate," chimed in another, his face lighting up. "Amazing game. Looks like who?"
"Raphael," you said. "The devil."
The guy laughed, but didn't even look where you were pointing.
"Ah, the two-pump chump?"
You shot a quick glance at Raphael. His eyes met yours through the glass window, and they were cold now; his smile was gone.
I didn't say that, you pleaded with him in your thoughts. That guy said that. That guy over there. I would never say that.
Your defence of his bed skills stretched from Reddit to Tumblr threads, you argued that Haarlep was slandering him, that Raphael was the best fuck there ever was and you personally vouched for that because you fucked him a thousand times in your head.
"Don't call him that, please," you whispered to the guy. He gave you a confused look when you pointed at Raphael again: "Look at him. The one staring at us. Does he look like him?
Is he real? Do you see him too?
"Ah yes," he admitted with a grin on his face, raising the cup of coffee to his lips, "he sort of does. Yes, he does! Well, I hope he doesn't...oh shit! FUCK!".
The guy's face contorted in pain as he clutched his mouth, jumping, cursing, tears streaming down his face. You could see the skin on his lips reddening and blistering.
"What the fuck?! It's fucking boiling! FUCK! "
The barista rushed over to him, spewing apologies as she tried to handle the situation. You took a step back and glanced at Raphael whose lips were moving subtly - two syllables that matched rhythmically: 'bye-bye' or maybe 'ciao-ciao'.
It didn't have to be 'ta-ta'. He waved nonchalantly at you.
You waved back.
NEXT: Chapter 3, In Which Larian Introduces The Raphael Romance
#bg3 raphael#raphael the cambion#raphael x player#raphael x tav#raphael x oc#raphael x you#meta fanfic#knock knock
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Hello, by the way, your work is amazing and I try not to miss anything or updates🌟
I have a question. I knew a lot about Emily and Lute's🥰💞, but what about Michael and vox's? How did their relationship start???
JusticeStatic's storyline in the AU begins after the main series ends. Vox was guilty of a felony, but thanks to Emily's success in convincing Michael, Vox was given a second chance to prove that he could change under Michael's strict supervision (This was Emily's idea).
So the two of them were stuck with each other and Vox had to live in Michael's palace so the King can have a better watch on him. Both Vox and Michael inherently did not like each other, but in the situation of having to be together, the two of them gradually got used to the other's presence. Over time, Vox also put away his charming, fake businessman mask because he knew that mask had no effect in front of the King of Hell.
Originally, they didn't even intend to talk to each other, but because Vox had most of his power sealed and Michael's palace was quite boring, the TV demon often appeared to bother Michael, making him feel extremely annoying. However, over time, Michael also discovered many aspects of Vox that he did not think existed.
Vox might not be as stupid as Michael thought. At one point he attempted to throw some unimportant papers to Vox for him to handle, but mainly to make Vox shut up. Unexpectedly, beyond Michael's expectations, the demon completed the assigned task quite well. Even with the sharp eyes of a businessman, he also came up with solutions that Michael had never thought of. This also left a good impression of him in Michael's eyes.
On a rare occasion that they had a serious conversation, Michael had always thought Vox would enjoy watching humanity writhe in crime and chaos, love to witness people's suffer but turn out, Vox just didn't give a damn about that. Don't get him wrong, Vox sure loves chaos and pain for others but that never is his number one priority. The demon only cares about what will bring most benefit for him, for his wants. If people being happy means he would get closer to his goal then he will make sure those bitches keep their smile still on their faces by one way or another.
While Michael hates the idea of sacrificing everything for desire, Vox is infatuated with it. For him, it is the blind pursuit of desire and stubbornness because of greed that makes human life in hell even more bustling, exciting and unpredictable because every day will pass like a mysterious and exciting gamble. Compared to angels who suppress their desires and live aimless, boring lives, wouldn't it be happier to pursue their ambitions and taste the sweet fruit at the end of the road? Like Princess Emily, for example. Didn't her dream also originate from desire?
Having finished speaking, he smiled a cold, evil smile of a scummy bastard while slowly enjoying the glass of Whiskey in his hand. At that moment, the King of Hell felt that the demon in front of him was no longer the usual flat faced TV that he knew. He vaguely saw an image of a sharp businessman in his 50s, proudly showing off a pile of money stained with innocent blood - a terrible bastard. Michael was disgusted by him, but he also didn't expect that the idiot he always despised would have such "profound" moments...
And it was also extremely interesting to see the person Michael thought was sharp a few hours ago turn into a rowdy child after losing a game of chess, just few taunts from Michael made the demon angrily flipped the chessboard.
In the end, Vox is still a hundred years old man, the "silence" between them will still happen. The moment the two stood side by side without saying a word.
The moment when Vox could be quietly smoking outside the balcony while Mike soon noticed from afar. Different from the look that irritated Michael the day before, different from the look with a sly smile the other day, even more different from the look of a noisy from before... There is something more "real" about that cunning demon. And before Michael knew it, he had unconsciously walked towards Vox.
Vox quickly realized Michael's footsteps were approaching. He turned back to look at the fallen angel and his expression immediately changed. He smirked and teased Michael a few words. Vox braced himself for a punch to land on his screen, but it never came.
This time, Mike just glared at Vox before ignoring the rest of his words and silently watching the explosions and screams from the city in the distance. Vox saw that the person next to him had no reaction to the sarcastic words. He could only roll his eyes in annoyance, then leaned back against the railing to light a new cigarette.
In that moment, a rare sight occurred. The King of Hell was currently calmly looking out at the chaos from afar while the demon he had always despised quietly leaned his back against the railing while inhaling a rich cigar…
Immersed in his own thoughts, Vox didn't notice when Michael's hand reached out. Michael was always curious about the taste of those cigars - the drug that always filled the body of the man next to him. Why is he so addicted to it? Perhaps today, Michael will break the rules and let himself try something "toxic"...
Michael suddenly snatched Vox's unfinished cigarette away, making him startled and upset, shouting, "Hey!" Michael continued to ignore Vox and slowly imitated the other person, taking a gentle breath. Gray smoke poured into his mouth, making the King of Hell frown slightly. The taste was exactly as he expected, extremely bad and completely unappealing... But Michael did not throw it away, instead continued to bring the cigarette to his lips and slowly enjoy it...
His thoughtful appearance while smoking and the image of the cloudy smoke escaping from the his dry lips made Vox's choke a bit, his face suddenly slightly warmed up. Uncomfortable with his own unusual thoughts, Vox turned to the other side of the railing, feeling the blood-scented Hell wind blowing onto the screen, causing Vox to relax a bit... And that wind also brought the smell of coffee that he always loved from the smoke of the person next to him...
Vox frowned slightly, then leaned his whole body against the railing, looking down... A rare peaceful atmosphere, both were immersed in their own thoughts and did not care about the other's presence at that time. It wasn't until Michael finished smoking that he quietly walked inside, giving Vox back the quiet space.
A moment later, out of habit, Vox reached into his pocket to take another cigarette, but this time he discovered that the pack was empty. Vox stared at the empty cigarette box for a moment while his thumb gently rubbed the golden letters on the box. Then, suddenly and without thinking, Vox flicked it, sending the box flying down. Luckily Michael wasn't there to witness it, otherwise Vox would have had to hear him complain about littering again. Standing just a moment longer, Vox turned on his heel and walked back inside, silently closing the balcony door.
_____________________
Basically, their relationship will start really slow. It's a long amount of time to change from hate to love. Like it just their slice of life of understanding more about each other and find out that maybe the other wasn't that bad and eventually, slowly open themselves with the other and enjoy each others' company... This just some of what happen in their daily life when they live together. Sorry if you guys found them kinda messy and hard to understand because our explanation is kinda long and not to the point much. I guess t is is more lia an oneshot than a real ans to er the question.
But I hope you guy can at least see some reason behind why we ship them and even love them as we do?
If you can read to the end and see my silly ranting then thank you so much for reading this. I really appreciate that!!! >=333
Bonus some JusticeStatic arts for you guys who don't use X
#ruddy hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel swap au#hazbin hotel michael#hazbin hotel vox#justicestatic#hazbin hotel oc
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The Duchess of London (2)
Pairing: Thomas “Tommy” Shelby x fem!reader
Word Count: 3.8k
Warnings: angst, mentions of drinking, drugs, blood, gore, fighting, guns, fluff.
A/N: Wrote the first part damn near a year ago! Wanted to finally finish it off. Please know that another part is highly unlikely! No beta. Enjoy! Credits to the gif artist.
Thomas Shelby ends up on your doorstep three months later.
Technically, it was the door of the Gentlemen’s Club, Adonis, where you helped to manage the talent and had a few stocks invested in.
If you hadn’t been paying attention, you would’ve missed him entirely. Tommy remained seated in the back of the room near the door, one leg crossed over the other, fingers delicately grasping the rim of a glass. It was a talent of his, being able to blend into a room seamlessly while still maintaining a sense of distinctiveness. You couldn’t lie, the thought of seeing him again taunted you day after day. Thinking about his plump lips on yours, hands pressing against your neck-
A throat clears. “I believe it’s your turn, Duchess.”
You blink a few times, returning to the present. Sir Donald Chesnut fixes you with a stare, pool stick tapping the floor impatiently.
Giving him your best innocent smile, you nod and saunter around the table. There were two of his stripes left compared to your four solids. The men who gathered to “watch” all gawked as you bent over the velvet lined table, dress straining against your backside. You’re sure to milk their attention for all its worth, a teeny frown sprawling across your face as you stand back up.
“Must I repeat the rules of the game for you, miss? See those colored balls? You have to hit them into the holes. Do you understand?” Donald taunts, voice barely masking his mockery.
You smile and shrug. “Gee, I just can’t seem to decide which one to hit, they’re all so pretty!”
A few in the audience chuckle at the perceived naivete. Thomas takes a swig of his drink, watching your hands carefully.
“Let me assist you then.”
Donald pushes up against you, hands helping to position yours correctly. Upon steading them, you attempt to hit one of your balls but fail to do so. You jerk back into him as you laugh, hands fanning at your cleavage.
“I’m not even sure how I got the other balls in, must be a lady’s luck.” you comment.
“Sure.” Donald nods, already gearing up for his next shot. He sinks his two remaining balls with ease but misses the eight ball by a hair.
“Oh! You almost had it. Maybe I can catch up.”
“Good luck.” Donald tuts, hands grazing your ass as he passes behind you.
The act drops immediately and you get to work cleaning up the table. The balls clinking against each other before they sink into the pockets fills you with such pleasure you fight hard to maintain your poker face.
The eight ball lays just a few inches away from the right corner pocket, albeit at an odd angle. If you weren’t careful, it was an easy shot to miss and you didn’t want to give this fucker a chance to win. That didn’t mean you couldn’t have a little fun with your prey.
“Are you gonna call it?” Donald asks.
“Eight ball, middle right pocket.
Donald huffs out something that sounded like a mix between a snort and a sigh. “No fuckin’ way. You can’t make that!”
You don’t take your eyes off of him as you station yourself off center to the ball, cocking the pool stick until the weight of the wood feels comfortable in your hands. Sucking in a small breath, you let the stick slip through your fingers as you exhale. You could feel everyone else in the room hold their own collective breath as the ball pings around the table, making haphazard patterns until it slowly nears the pocket.
The eight ball all but comes to a complete stop before it finally drops into the pocket, the white ball close behind. You refuse to move, afraid that any sudden shift could cause the other ball to fall in behind it.
The ball edges you as it nears the pocket but you release a sigh of relief as it comes to a halt. You don't dare celebrate openly, just smile and wink at Donald, who was turning more red by the minute. Murmurs fly and papers shuffle as the men protest about their lost money.
Thomas finally approaches you as the others file out of the room, for sure in search of ways to better their bruised egos.
You don’t pay him any mind as you rack the balls up.
“You look like a professional.”
“You can too. Would you like to learn how to play?”
Tommy shakes his head. “No, I don’t think I can keep steady hands.”
You hum in response, eyes shifting up to meet his. “That’s unfortunate.”
He is quiet as he comes to stand in front of you, hands reaching up to brush against your cheek. “Is there someplace we can talk?”
You pour Tommy another glass of whiskey before settling on the plush cushions next to him. The office space you acquired wasn’t as glamorous as you’d hoped it’d be but it provided a sense of solace where you could conduct business without hosting unwanted people in your home.
“So, is this a visit for pleasure or business? Perhaps both?”
Tommy knocks back his drink, throat bobbing as the cool liquor coats his mouth. “Marry me.”
You sputter out a laugh, shaking your head. “Pardon me?”
“I need you to marry me.”
“No,” you hold out a hand to stop him as you notice that he’s reaching into his coat pocket. “Have you gone fucking mad?”
“I need to form an alliance with the Elephants and this is the best way in.”
He fixes you with that stare and for a moment you’re sucked into his abyss, thinking about the possibility of becoming Mrs. Thomas Shelby but as quickly as the thought comes, it fades. This wasn’t your fight and you found it hardly fair that you were being used as some sort of pawn. You were familiar with his antics and knew that anyone being used by the Shelby clan typically resulted in death. As it so happens, you were pretty fond of your life at the moment.
You stand up from your seat abruptly, pacing back and forth. “I can’t marry you, Tommy.”
“I know it’s not an ideal proposal but you’ll have full control over the wedding details-”
Stopping mid pace, you turn to face your childhood friend. “What, did the war fuck with your hearing? I said I won’t marry you.”
Tommy drops his head, reaching back inside his pockets in search of a cigarette. He gets up to lurk near you, admiring the sour look on your face. “Is this how Marcus turned you down, eh?”
You swallow thickly, resisting to meet his gaze. Of course he knew about Marcus, he knew about everything and then some. The all knowing Shelby’s with their endless amount of dirt, ready to throw it on anyone who stood in their way.
“I don’t know to whom you are referring.” you lie, terribly so. Tommy could hear the pained yearning in your voice.
“Marcus Toussaint, old money from the Toussaints of France. Made their fortune from coal. He’s the youngest of four brothers, the only eligible bachelor left. You two met in Egypt, he was financing an archeological dig and you were there on holiday. Nights spent filled with mutual lust and passion, I assume. He buys you an estate in the Mediterranean, where you spend the majority of the summer.”
Your eyes slip close at the mention of Egypt, a time where you felt you could truly be yourself and not be on guard all the time. Marcus was delicate, thoughtful. He never questioned you about your past and was very encouraging about you wanting to pursue artistic hobbies. He was the one who taught you how to play pool.
“Unfortunately, your summer was cut short when he was forced to return home and he decided to take you with him. He wanted to make you a part of the family but they knew all about you and decided that a two dollar whore from the slums of Brimingham who made her living spending long nights in the beds of men she did not know was not good enough for Marcus. You try so hard to fit in with that crowd, prancing around in your fancy gowns with your nose held up so high that you still can’t smell the shit on your shoe you’re tracking into their houses.”
A rage you had learned to smother was bubbling beneath the brim of your being, a feeling you had never thought would be directed toward Tommy. You knew what he was doing, plunging a knife so deep into your heart and twisting until he got what he wanted out of you. It was all a mistake. You have been used over and over all your life. You were not going to be used by him, even if it cost you your life.
You lick your lips which have since gone dry, forcing your face to return to stone. “It’s always a delight to see you, Mr. Shelby. Travel safely.”
With that, you turn on your heels and exit the room in silent fury. A pair of observant eyes watch you from the stairs above, then switch to regard the back of Tommy as he leaves a few minutes after you.
You normally spent most nights at the club but decided it’s worth it to leave and blow steam off at home, your head a jumbled mess. Everything Tommy said was true but what he didn’t know is that Marcus had told you his family made prior preparations for him to marry the daughter of a tycoon and that he had no say in the matter. You were silly enough to believe him.
You were so caught up in what had just occurred that you hadn’t noticed you were being followed until a hand clamps over your mouth, a black hood shoved over your head.
Tommy watches absent-mindedly as the young woman slips back into her dress, dancing leisurely to the music coming out of the bar a few blocks down. The window was cracked and she was thankful, having put up with enough of Tommy’s smoking. He was on his third cigarette since they finished fucking and she was sure by the time she actually left, he would have finished half the pack.
There’s a knock at the door and the woman stops to look at Thomas expectantly. He doesn’t move an inch but jerks his head near the sound. The woman is cautious as she opens it but cracks the door wider when it’s revealed to be a bellhop.
“Delivery for 317.”
The woman grabs the silver covered platter and thanks the boy. She smiles as she brings it over to Thomas.
“Did you order me something special?”
“No.”
His bluntness doesn’t deter her, she simply shrugs and searches the vanity for her earrings. Tommy takes the lid off to uncover a note folded in half.
The Royale. 8pm.
The hood is snatched off unceremoniously and suddenly you’re in the storage room of a butcher shop, in a chair with your hands tied behind your back. Some of the girls you used to run with when you were younger surround you, with Bobbi aka Big Red at the center.
You give your best smile. “Ladies, are we starting a sewing circle? Book club? I hear Agatha’s new mystery is to die for.”
The first punch comes from Janie on your left. You rock your jaw, hands straining against the rope. “I take it that you didn’t like the novel.”
The second one is from Georgiana. The bitch. To think you were there for her when she found out her husband was screwing her sister.
After the fourth punch, this one to your gut, you were beginning to get fed up.
“Alright, does someone want to tell me what the fuck is going on?”
“You’ve gotten too big for your britches, that’s what.” Big Red finally speaks up. She took over operations when the leader you knew, Mary, got locked up. Operations almost went to shit but you had to hand it to her, Bobbi knew how to run a tight ship. She wasn’t as popular with the women and laid down stricter rules. Several of which you had broken.
“I don’t have time for riddles, Bobbi.” you chide.
Bobbi snaps her finger and Georgiana brings a chair over so that Bobbi could sit in front of you. “I’ve been watching you for a while now, missy. When Mary put me in charge, I swore I’d keep her seat warm until she got out.”
You tsk. “Last I checked, you squeezed your fat ass in her chair.”
That earned you a hard punch. You needed to dial it back if you wanted to keep your face intact.
“You’ve been fucking one of the Shelby’s.” Janie purrs, popping her gum obnoxiously.
“Not just any Shelby, Thomas Shelby.” Georgiana tacks on.
Big Red makes a motion with her fingers and the clucking chickens get quiet, always obedient for their mother hen. “You know fraternizing with a family like theirs is off limits. Do you know what could happen to us if you were caught with him? We struck a decent deal with Sabini and the last thing I need is for you to jeopardize everything we’ve worked for because you wanted to get your cunt licked.”
You knew that a few girls were messing around with some men who worked for Sabini but you didn’t realize it had gotten so deep. Outside of Thomas and his boys in Birmingham, Sabini had the next biggest family in the area with a huge control over land. It wasn’t like anyone was stealing from them but nothing hurt men more than a broken heart and bruised ego.
“Well, since you like spreading your legs for dirty men like Thomas, poppet, you’re gonna do us a huge favor and use that pretty little face of yours to sway him into staying another night in London. Get him to this location,” Bobbi stuffs a slip of paper down your bra. “We’ll handle the rest.”
Big Red puts your cheek tenderly before snapping her fingers. Georgiana and Janie descend on you like vultures and the only sound echoing through the room is muffled grunts of you getting your ass kicked.
Thomas flips out his pocket watch once more.
8:22pm.
It was unlike you to be late but he figured it was for good reasons. Women and their unnecessary grooming. Growing up around Ada and practically being raised by Polly got him used to being late for certain functions. The waiter enters again and Tommy is ready to refuse another offer on refilling his glass but stops once he sees that you’re being escorted in.
You were mesmerizing. Your body was wrapped in red silk, the material caressing your figure in all the right places. White gloves covered your arms up to your elbows and the front of your dress drapes downward in a cowl design, showing a sufficient amount of cleavage to leave the wandering eye wanting more. To complete your ensemble, you wore a tilted hat with a veil to cover the majority of your face.
Thomas is a gentleman as he stands while you enter, only returning to his seat once you sit on your own.
“You’re late.”
You cock an eyebrow. “And yet, you’re still here.”
As if the waiter was eagerly awaiting for you to take your seat, you barely have time to set down your purse before the first course is brought out. It looked decadent but your stomach was still rolling from earlier. You weren’t sure when your appetite would return.
Thomas doesn’t touch his food either. “So, I take it you’ve changed your mind.”
You take a long sip of wine, swishing the red liquid around the glass before knocking the rest of it back. “Something like that.”
The cigarette makes an appearance. He lights it, waiting for you to continue.
“Look at us. Both came from nothing and here we are. Eating at the finest restaurants, wearing the finest clothes, sitting at tables that otherwise we would’ve been shooed from. And for what? Money?”
Thommy nods, almost as if you’d ask a rhetorical question. “Yes. Money, power, control. I’m taking care of my family just like you would take care of yours.”
“I have no family.” you state, voice a whisper.
“That’s why I’m asking you to be a part of mine.”
The door to the private room swings open and the waiter appears, yet again.
“For fucks sake!” Tommy yells at the poor fellow.
“My apologies, Mr. Shelby but your other guests have arrived.”
Tommy steals a quick glance at you. “I don’t have any other guests.”
You don’t dare turn around in your seat as the echo of numerous footsteps sound off, trailing from the hallway until they reach the dining area.
“Well, well. Looks like the gang's all here.”
The voice sends a chill down your spine. Amelio Sabini. He wasn’t head honcho but far enough up on the food chain for it to mean something.
Tommy clears his throat and puts out his cigarette. He doesn’t stand.
“What? No warm greeting for me or my brothers? Alright then.”
The vultures descend on the table, squeezing in where they could and kicking their feet up. You recognize some of the women on their arms from the club.
“Amelio. You’re interrupting my dinner.”
“Really? Cause if I remember correctly, we were invited. I know you didn’t start eating without me, Tommy. That’s bad business.”
“What’s bad business is discussing it in front of the women. You lot,” he points to the scantily clad girls. “Out.”
The girls all cling to their men, throwing each other nervous glances. You envied them just a little. To be pretty and clueless. It wouldn’t get them very far though.
Amelio gives a signal and they suck their teeth, sulking back out into the main part of the restaurant. You attempt to walk out with them but a goon keeps you firmly in your chair.
“Where are you heading off to, puddin’? You’re the main dish.”
“I take it you’re acquainted?” Tommy asks but you hear the condescending tone laced in the question.
“She’s the one that invited us. Knows the Royale is my favorite. Have you tried the raspberry and chocolate souffle?” Amelio gives a chef's kiss. “Eccellente!”
The men squabble as you mildly disassociate, understanding that this was going to end in one of two ways: you live or you die. And if you did die, Big Red was gonna get what’s coming to her, that’s for damn sure.
Your small break from reality is abruptly ended when the cold metal of a pistol is shoved into your hands.
Your hands graze the gun, a once familiar object now feeling foreign.
“That’s it, pretty girl,” Amelio coos. “Let’s not draw this out any longer, eh? We all know how this ends. I don’t want to draw this out any further. Va bene?”
You nod your head slowly, steadying your grip on the weapon. You aim the gun directly at Tommy, unblinking. “Sorry it had to happen this way.”
Tommy gives a half shrug. “Likewise.”
You’re quick to pull the trigger and watch as the bullet whizzes by Tommy’s head and glides straight into the neck of the waiter. The platter in his hands falls, the Beretta masked as the “souffle” tumbling to the ground.
And just like that, the room cascades into a full out battle. Tommy wastes no time in grabbing his own gun and you throw yourself into the heat of action, taking out two more of Amelio’s men before you get clipped in the left arm. You throw yourself down on the ground in search of cover.
Arthur and the other Blinders crowd in from the kitchen, helping Tommy to clear out the room. Finn is careful as he drags you towards the back door, where a car is waiting.
“We can’t just leave them there!” you scream through the searing pain.
“They’ll be fine, trust me!”
Before you could argue your point further, the doors to the car get slammed shut and you’re whisked away from the scene.
Making it back to a small office Tommy owned was nothing short of a miracle. You had never seen or been a part of such a gunfight. However, it wasn’t the shooting that pissed you off.
“I know this was your idea.” you murmur, wincing as Tommy pours more alcohol in your wound.
“I told Big Red to persuade you, didn’t know that meant leaving you with a bruised eye.” Tommy says, double checking to make sure he cleaned the graze thoroughly.
You shake your head. “She’s got it out for me, apparently. You could’ve just asked-”
“I did ask you. This was reassurance.”
You pull away from his touch, a disapproving look etched into your face. “It’s like you don’t even trust me! We’re cut from the same cloth, remember?”
Tommy puts away the whiskey, reaching around you to grab at the gauze. He wraps it around your arm tenderly. Satisfied with his work, he takes a pack of smokes out of his pocket, tucking one between his lips.
He saddles up to where you’re perched on his desk, spreading your legs to stand between them.
“I never doubted you once. There were things that needed to be in place and I wanted to make sure it happened.”
The deep pools of his eyes drag you under and once again, you find yourself pulled into his orbit. No matter how hard your gut alerts you to the dangers of falling in love with Thomas Shelby, you ignore the blaring alarms and steel yourself. He wasn’t like the others, happy to parade you around on their arm like some sort of trophy. You had a mind, a working spirit that was hard to break and a reputation to uphold. You didn’t want to be the dainty, seen but not heard wife.
You wanted to be his equal.
Plucking the cigarette from his lips, you take a quick puff from it, exhaling slowly. “I should go.”
“I’ve arranged for John to take you to the hotel. We didn’t have much time to grab clothing from your place but I can have Pol take you shopping tomorrow, if you’d like.”
“You got me a room?”
Tommy chuckles slightly at the question, demeanor unwavering as he takes a small metal item from his pocket, flipping it in-between his fingers like you’ve seen him do many times before with a coin.
“I got us a suite.”
You stare at the key, understanding that it signified much more than a cozy night in. Accepting this key and going to see him meant that you were tethering yourself to a man you swore was just casual. You weren’t sure if you were ready for that level of commitment.
He pries your hand open, setting the room key in it before closing it gently. Nearly forgetting how to breathe, your eyes flutter close as Tommy seals the deal with a kiss.
He runs a lone finger down your cheek, his own lips plump with the sheen of your affections.
“My proposal still stands.”
Tommy says nothing else as he exits the office, doors groaning in protest at his departure. You open up your hand again. Would you still remain the Duchess or become a Queen?
#thomas shelby x reader#thomas shelby x fem!reader#Thomas Shelby x female reader#fic: the Duchess of london#tommy shelby x reader#tommy shelby x you#tommy shelby x fem!reader#Thomas Shelby x you#peaky blinders fanfiction
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Genre: Smut
Parings: Enemies to lovers BangChan x f!reader
warnings: mature content!! Meandom!BangChan x sub!femreader, LOTS of degrading, mirror sex, pet names such as ‘Princess’ ‘babygirl’ ‘Channie’ and ‘handsome’, namecalling such as ‘slut’ ‘whore’ etc, slight daddy kink if you squint, after care, mentions of cheating, slight possessiveness if you squint, choking, hair pulling, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex (don’t do this!! Wrap it before you tap it), edging, overstimulation.
ANGRY CHAN HAS MY HEART FR😭🩷😍
No one knows how the two got to this point. I mean they were sworn enemies right? They shouldn't be tangled all up with each other in bed but they were. Let's rewind real quick.
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You and Chan used to be best friends. Like attached at the hip type of best friends. Until, you took his girlfriend from him a few years ago. That hurt him for many reasons. One because that was his girlfriend and you were his best friend, his girl best friend at that. And that brings me to the second reason, you never came out to him. You never told him you were bisexual which made him just feel horrible. So you two came to the conclusion to be enemies and left it at that. But something in Chan just couldn't let you go. Maybe it was the way your smile lit up the room or the way your laugh made his day. That was probably why he wasn't so mad about finding you in bed with his girlfriend. He was more.. jealous. But not of you, his girlfriend. He couldn't take these feelings so he stopped talking to you as much but it wasn't very easy since you guys were in the same friend group.
This brought you two to today. Another argument, a silly one that ended up getting bigger. This time it was about who was in the wrong for a game you all were playing with the group. You guys somehow ended up in BangChan's bedroom as he was hosting a party, yelling at each other. You were leaned up against the wall while Chan was sitting on the bed.
"God you always fucking do this. You're so insensitive and selfish all the fucking time." Chan yelled out at you as he got off the bed, getting slightly more heated at the words that came out of your mouth.
"No, you don't get to say that. Fuck you Christopher." You yelled back as he made his way over to you. You couldn't help the feeling that rushed through you at the angry look on his face while he made his way to you. He didn't say anything as he got closer which just made him more scary but you did a good job at hiding that fact.
"Fucking damn Chris, you're always so sensitive about these things." You mumbled as you looked away, crossing your arms over your chest. You were about to say something else smart when a hand on your neck cut you off, making you choke on your words. You instantly turn to face him, being met with an angry faced BangChan. You didn't know what it was that set him off so much. It could've been your words or the fact that you called him 'Christopher' or he was just tired of hearing your mouth. Whatever it was, his hand around your next had your heart pumping. He tightened his grip against your neck, squeezing just enough to cut some air from you which made you let out a whine, a look of fear flashing in your eyes.
"Say my name like that again. I dare you." His words sounded threatening enough without his hand being around your neck but that little detail just made you squirm. He pushed his body up against yours even more as he stared into your eyes which honestly didn't know where to look. You didn't know where to look because these feelings were just too strong right now. You tried to speak but your words failed you so you swallowed and just stayed quiet.
"What? Too stunned to speak. Cat got your tongue?" He teased as he leaned down closer to you, wasting no time connecting his lips to yours. His actions caused you to gasp softly, letting his tongue slip into your mouth before you finally relaxed a little. Your eyes closed as his hand on your neck brought you closer to him as he kissed you harsher, his other hand resting on your waist as he kept you pinned between him and the wall. Sure you guys were enemies but I mean why not have a small break between that.
Your thoughts were cut short as a knee came up between your thighs, just making you wetter than you already were. You let out a small whine into his mouth as his knee pushed on your core, making him chuckle a little as he pulled away to look at you.
"God you're such a fucking slut. First you go and fuck my girlfriend then you come to me." He paused for a second as a chuckle cut him off, a dark look in his eyes. "You're such a whore and you know it. Now tell me, whose who're are you huh." He degraded which honestly just made you hornier and more needy for him. You tried to speak but only a small whimper left your lips to which he chuckled at again before pulling you off the wall and pushing you onto the bed, making you fall back onto it as he locked the door. You sat up a little with a red tint on your face as he pulled off his shirt. Your eyes locked onto his toned stomach as he got closer to you, pushing your body down onto the soft mattress beneath you. You let out a small moan as his lips connected to your neck in a hurry, not being anywhere near gentle as he sucked and bit down on the sensitive area. You could feel him through his jeans as he slid himself in between your legs which seemed to be shaking in anticipation. His hands slid down your body and eventually made it to the hem of your shirt as he started to push it up before stopping and pulling away from your neck to look at you. No matter how much you thought he hated you, he would at least make sure you were okay with doing this before absolutely ruining you.
"Is this okay?" His whispered softly as he looked down at you, still wanting to make sure this was okay with you before continuing. Once you nodded he wasted no time with pulling your shirt off and throwing it into a random part of his already sort of messy room as he reattached his lips to your body, his target being your collarbone now. His hands worked on unclasping the laced material that kept something he wanted from him. Once the piece of clothing was removed, you felt a shiver go down your spine as his lips attacked the sensitive bud on your right boob while his left hand played with the other, pinching the piece of skin between his fingers which drew lewd sounds from your lips. He hadn't even really touched you and you were already a whiny mess.
He soon moved away from your tits and down your stomach as his hands worked on removing your shorts. He was so impatient it was almost pathetic but the sight of you right now was even more pathetic. Almost humiliating. Once he got your shorts off he threw them on the opposite side of the room from your shirt as he immediately started working on your clit. The feeling of his tongue against your pussy with your panties blocking it felt so weird but good at the same time. He ignored your hand in his hair as he went down on you like a starved man, making you so close in such little time but of course your pride wasn't gonna let you show that.
You didn't even get to have a chance to speak before BangChan pulled away, looking at you with a smug look on his face. Like he was proud of edging you like that. You let out a whine as you looked down at him before saying something that would definitely come back to haunt you.
"Humph, you can't even make me cum." Chan's face changed almost immediately, his eyes turning a darker shade of brown as he practically ripped your panties off and thew them with your other clothes on the floor before pulling his pants and boxers down in one go. He practically manhandled you onto all fours before you felt him slip into you easily with how wet he made you before. Which made all this more exciting yet a little scary. He wasted no time with moving, fucking you at an almost hungry pace as his fingers digged into your hips. The way he fucked you made your head spin as loud moans slipped from your lips, not being able to keep them in. One of his hands moved up to your hair as he pulled on it, his other staying on your hip as he had a cocky smirk on his face as he fucked you. He was making you look at that pathetic look on your face in the large mirror he had beside his bed. Anytime you were forced to come to his house for a get together and snuck off to his room because you were nosy, you've always wondered what this mirror was for. Now you know.
"Look at you. Looking like a pathetic little whore. You're such a slut," He let out a small chuckle as he picked up his pace a little, making you whine out. "but you're my slut. No one else's." He growled into your ear almost possessively as he fucked you harder, making you closer to another orgasm faster since the first one was pulled away from you. His degradation and passiveness made you whine as it was mostly what pushed you to your orgasm. He let out a hiss as he felt the warm liquid surround his sensitive cock. One thing about Chan is that he was either going to overstimulate you or under-stimulate you. That's just how he was as a person.
"God, first you fuck my girlfriend then you fuck me. You just can't get enough huh. Was her pussy not good enough for you? or maybe it was her tongue. You just had to run to me." He hissed in your ear, having no problem with degrading you. It's not like he didn't do this all the time. He would degrade you any chance he got and now that he got to fuck you while doing it was just pure bliss for both of you. You were seeing stars now as he found your g-spot which made you yell out his name, any cockiness or bratty things you had to say earlier were long forgotten as he fucked you like an angry bull. Seeing this passionate side of BangChan was honestly new to you. Even when you guys were best friends he wasn't ever really this passionate. You let out soft whimpers of his name as you felt your body starting to give out. Chan felt this so he let his hand that was on your hip wrap around your waist to keep you up as the other hand pulled you up so your back was to his chest, both bodies being sweaty as the smell of sex filled the room.
"You're not finished yet babygirl, I still haven't gotten to cum yet and that's a problem to me." Chan growled into your ear as his hand on your waist moved down to rub your clit which made you whimper as you laid your head back on his shoulder. As he saw that his movements only got faster as he started to suck and bite at your neck, not knowing how he got this far without cumming yet as you just looked to beautiful so fucked out like this. You felt your body shudder as you got close to another orgasm.
"Fuck Chris, I'm-" you didn't get to finish your sentence as he suddenly stopped moving his hips but not his hand which made you whine.
"Not my name princess, try again then I might let you cum." His pettiness made you whine a little more but you couldn't possibly think of what else to call him before it dawned on you. Now you weren't the type to beg and you both knew that but you were just so in the moment and just wanted to cum so you couldn't help but beg.
"Please daddy, just let me cum.." you whimpered pathetically which made him chuckle as he started to move again, knowing he won this huge argument you two have been having for the past few years. You felt your back arch as he so effortlessly found your g-spot again. You didn't even get to warn him this time as you came again, not being able to help it. He wasn't too far behind you, painting your insides white as he shot his load inside you. He let out a small growl as he pulled out, watching both yours and his cum spill out of you. He planted small kisses to the bruises he made on your neck, in a weird way soothing the skin. You felt your body go limp in his arms—which didn't go unnoticed by him, as he practically fucked you dumb. He cooed at the sight as he picked you up bridal style as he lead you towards his bathroom.
Once the pair made it to the bathroom, he sat you down on the counter as he turned on the shower while waiting for it to get warm. You looked down at your hands that were not sat in your lap as you thought about the events that just occurred. The life changing events that you can't go back on.
"I'm sorry.. for everything.." Your words surprised both you and BangChan as he turned over to look at you in which you had tears in your eyes for whatever reason. In all honesty he really couldn't care less about you fucking his girlfriend. In all honesty he was happy with you for getting rid of her from his life since she was totally chaos and not in a good way. He really didn't even know why he wanted to be your enemy, he was just so in the moment for weeks and he's guessing the feeling just stuck.
"No babygirl, I'm sorry. I've been mad at you for absolutely no reason these past few years. In all honesty I didn't even care that you did that. If anything I was happy. I don't even know why I was mad. All of this was my fault and I should've been more clear with my emotions." BangChan stated as he cupped your face in his hands, kissing away the stray tears on your cheeks. You couldn't help but feel flustered at his touch and you nodded at his words.
"So this all means you forgive me?" You mumbled as you looked at him, hoping that this did mean exactly what you thought. Your eyes lit up as he nodded which made him chuckle a little, falling in love with you more every time you looked at him. He's been ignoring his feelings for long and being able to express them today was a huge stress reliever for him. He looked over at the bath, noticing it was halfway full which was a good place to stop it had so he did and picked you up again, placing you down in the bath before getting in behind you and making sure you were comfortable.
After he was done taking care of you and himself, he dried you both off and dressed you in one of his shirts and a pair of his boxers since he kind of ripped your panties. He was trying not to get hard again from the sight of you in his clothes but it was hard since you just looked so beautiful. He laid you down in his bed again as he got comfortable with you, laying your head on his chest as he held you close to him like he was afraid of letting go. You were drawing shapes on his bare chest in comfortable silence before he spoke up.
"Y/n... I think I'm.. I think I'm in love with you.." he mumbled as his lips pressed against your soft hair. You had a red tint on your face after hearing his words and a soft smile.
"I love you too Channie.." you mumbled against his skin as you pressed a chaste kiss to his chest which made him chuckle a little. God how you missed that chuckle. You then pulled back to look at him with puppy eyes.
"Does this mean we're a thing now? Or was this just a one time thing. Because if so then we can really just-" Hearing what you were talking about and seeing the excitement drain from your eyes is what caused Chan to place a kiss to your lips to stop you from talking. That surprised you a little bit you eventually gave in and kissed him back. He pulled away after a while before pulling your head to your chest, resting his chin on your head.
"Of course we are silly. You're all mine now.." he mumbled which made you smile as your eyes closed, falling asleep on the chest of someone you knew you loved dearly...
BONUS
You woke up slightly after Chan did, being met with his beautiful brown eyes just admiring your beautiful face. Once he noticed he was caught he turned red as a small smile appeared on both of your faces. You leaned up and placed a soft kiss to his nose in which he returned the favor by kissing your knuckles before intertwining your fingers.
"Good morning princess.." he mumbles, his morning voice sounding raspy and a bit deep as he smiled down at your flustered face.
" 'morning handsome.." you mumble as you just admired his features. It was hard to not think he was handsome. He let out a small chuckle as he pulled you close to him. He then let out a groan at remembering he had to clean up after last night. He would rather get it done as soon as possible than just leaving his place trashed. He leaned down and placed a kiss to your forehead before sitting up which made you whine a little.
"Where are you going.." you mumbled in a tired voice as you looked up at him with tired eyes. He let out a chuckle at your expression. It was like a switch flipped with your guys' relationship. What used to be constant fighting turned into pure love and admiration.
"I'm going to clean, I'll be back as soon as I'm finished love. Just rest here." He told you before getting out the bed and making his way out his room. You huffed a little before hearing a ding on your phone. You furrowed your eyebrows as you rolled over to grab it as it was on the charger. Chan must've done that last night after you fell asleep. That small gesture made you feel all giddy inside. You checked your phone to see notifications from your friend group chat.
MinHOE😍: now now now.. y/nnie, don’t you have something to tell us?
Drama Queen👑🎀: ooooh, some tea??☕️
Y/N🎀: what are you talking about??
MinHOE😍: yk from last night😏
Outtie😚🩷: WAIT NO WAY. WHO’D SHE FUCK IN CHANNIE HYUNGS HOUSE???
Y/N🎀: Minnie please we can talk about this😭
Babygirl🎀: what do me and Minho get for being quiet about this??
Y/N🎀: HAN JISUNG AND LEE MINHO PLEASE ILL DO ANYTHING🙏🏽😭😭
Fried chicken☺️🐥: yk now I’m very curious. Please do tell hyung.
MinHOE😍: so the old man and this lil girl right here did a lil sum last night..
Y/N🎀:MINHO PLEASE😭 I SWEAR ILL TAKE YOUR PUDDING
MinHOE😍: you better not. I’ll do you like Hyunjin and shove a bunch of tissues in your mouth until you suffocate.
Minnie👇🏼the🏢: Oop-
A bitch named Chris🖕🏼: stop fucking threatening my girlfriend.
Best rapper (lies👎🏽): IM SORRY GIRLFRIEND??
Outtie😚🩷: WHATTTTTTTTTTT
Drama Queen👑🎀: OML PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY
Minnie👇🏼the🏢: I KNEW IT. THE WAY THEY ARGUED WAS TOO TENSION FILLED FOR THEM TO NOT BE IN LOVE
Y/N🎀: Channie!! I thought you weren’t gonna tell them😔
A bitch named Chris🖕🏼: I think I’ve made it pretty clear who you belonged to last night. Plus they were gonna find out anyways.
Babygirl🎀: okay lovebirds🙄
You couldn’t help but smile a little as Chan’s text really sunk in. You just turned off your phone, ignoring the shock from your friends as you nuzzled into BangChan’s blanket, knowing you found your new favorite smell..
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A/N: so… this took me about three days to write because I kept getting distracted and just didn’t feel like finishing what I was writing so 👍🏽. Also, I will be posting this on both tumbler and Wattpad. Also will be taking requests!!
#stray kids#skz#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz smut#skz hard thoughts#stray kids smut#stray kids hard thoughts#straykids imagines#kpop smut#kpop x reader#skz x female reader#kpop x fem reader#wh1mp
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Baby boy brother birthday photos from last year that I just realized I never uploaded!
#cats#also hopefully it's not weird to still post photos of George (the brown cat) even after his death a little while ago. I just have so many#beautiful old pictures of him that I still love but just never had the time to sort through or upload (my cat photos folder on my#computer had like 450 pictures in it or something lol... SO many). I feel like it's kind of just honoring or appreciating him#and not actually strange or anything. like what am I supposed to do. delete them?? I want to share them still because he is beautiful and#perfect ! idk. aNYWAY. Also this is their 2022 birthday when they turned 14 years old. (even though I think when I posted#their 2021 bday I might have said they were 14 then too. I was off by a year lol). 2023 when they turned 15 I unfortunately#was feeling kind of sick at the time and didn't really have the energy to do the decorations like I usually do. So they just got a few#treats and stuff. But I didn't know that would be george's last birthday lol. :/#They also do not really know or care though. they're cats who cannot process it or know the concept of birthdays so. eh#I still have no idea how these got lost on the computer though. Like I had them fully edited ready to post but just sitting in a folder??#Since MARCH 2022 lol... ??? the folder was in another folder of pictures so maybe that's how I overlooked it#But it's my 'once every 4 months computer organizing and clean out time' so I was going tghrough looking for pictures#I could drafts posts out of or sort or etc.#They got lots more treats for this birthday because one of my friends actually game me a few gifts for them#elderly boys.!!!!#I used to write in the little caption/image description sections to talk about them all individually but at some point tumblr broke that#feature and for so long they never saved or weren't visible so I stopped doing them and just ramble a bunch in the tags instead#but I kind of miss them. Thinking about old posts of the cats where I commented on each photo individually too lol.. the good ole days
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i have had. this stupid idea. stuck in my head. for SO long
i love arven sm and yet this was my first time drawing him lmao
i will admit i got lazy abt backgrounds/colouring/whatever but in my defense by the time i finished this it was 4 am
#pokemon#pokemon scarlet violet#pokemon sv#arven#pokemon arven#idk how to tag for the pokemon fandom lmao#i posted this to twitter a few days ago and forgot to post it here. where the meme originated. for shame#i am lowkey proud of how arven looks in the second panel tho. took me a hot second to figure out his expression but i GOT THERE#but i DID forget the action lines. hes meant to be like. whipping around to face me. but its whatever lol#in game my trainer has more tired eyes and the :3 mouth so when he makes certain expressions he has just the SMUGGEST lil grin#had to get that across in this lmao
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WHAT DO YOUE MEAN YOURE ALSO HYPERFIXATED ON BOTH ANNIE AND PIZZA TOWER SMILES REALLY BIG AT YOU
i literally ran an annie askblog for two straight years 😭
it's been awhile by now but to this Day whenever i reblog one of those 'what character do you associate with me' posts i still get like 3 people saying annie each time. never beating the allegations!!!!!! but i dont mind because i was funny as fuck on that blog and it was, up until pizza tower came along, by far some of my best stuff and the most 'involved' i'd ever gotten in 'fandom'. basically everything i'm using now in pizza comics i learned and honed for annieblog, haha.
my Stuff from that era is still very much around and evident too lol
#rip to the sword handle i broke it at a con a few years ago and never bothered fixing it 😔✊#also this was all before she got added to the game and u better BELIEVE i hopped on the shirt day 1. good lird#i have a few gripes with some of the new era sg lore and story direction but if nothing else. they did do well by annie#anyway. 'the grumpy old guy and their silly/weird/largely nonverbal support beast companion' u say. guess where that came from#i won't pretend for a second there's not a lot of annie & sagan in how i do peppino and fake pep. it's just a dynamic i like a lot#sadly peppino does Not have a beowulf-type parallel to round it out. maybe if gus was like 5x as loud. its fine i have noisette instead#but yeah if u were in the skullgirlls tag at All from like 2017-2019 u saw me#less from actual popularity/quality and more just because i posted a fucking lot shjvjhvfjfgg i was a Menace#some of them were good though. im gonna reblog some now actually hang on
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i am so obnoxious over bg3 but like. privately. bcs i'm still urgehafsjsh over how astarion is literally everything to me now and i really adore him but hi: i haven't played bg3. anyway. half-elf + bard maybe!
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#sorry. sorry. sorry to be so annoying but ASTARION.....#mr neil did so good voicing him all lines HIT. not a single bad one. oh man#i adore astarion's character from the outermost layers to the innermost i love his development and all the different scenes your choices#can lead to. how different he can be. how dramatic he can be how sarcastic how soft he can be. astarion.#wtf the obsession kicked in late...#bcs okay i learned of bg3 just. around tumblr. and what got me finally the Nudge to get into it was THE NEWS OF THE BEAR ASTARION THING#LMFAO and then i was like Oh Yeah hm maybe astarion will be my favorite (insert my thoughts here)#and then i learned more abt baldur's gate only Then and then got obsessed whooo but very normal#and sometime there my twin also got interested and whooo normally obsessed w bg/3/astarion and then got insanely obsessed#and here i was a few days ago or last week. normal. then all of a sudden i GOT... obsessed.......#astarion has consumed my every waking moment and i'm also in lov w the other characters. gale... karlach... shadowheart... etc...#and astarion has easily become one of my most favorite characters. which is not surprising at ALL#when you consider . every general factor of my favorite characters#+ how the story of how i came to like him is a STORY INDEED to tell ..... and how i got spoiled a bit too on some stuff but thats ok w me...#and my circumstances w my favorite games are real funny (for a lack of a better word) too i realize. oh man.#anyway. astarion. i adore him#it's unfair too i'm in my hozier era fully rn so. brain consumed#me listening to all of hoziers three albums (i adore hozier) and associating so many songs w astarion :/ like work song#idk. astarion reaaaaaally deserves hugs and love and and and i adore him
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don't mind me i'll just be over here with my 1700+ almost identical screenshots
#i do really love the dark urge. like so much#highly recommend#heading to baldur's gate soon#i'll miss the shadow cursed lands#it's funny because a few days ago when i got bored with my old character i was like#fuck i spent so much money on this game and i'm not even finishing it????#i was worried i'd never pick it up again only to make a new character a couple of days later and become as obsessed as i was before#i think a pretty major issue with my last playthrough was that i just kind of didn't befriend anyone somehow#it was really weird like i was on like good terms with most of them but none of them really really liked me#i actually do not know how that happened but. yeah this time i'm with astarion and karlach is my best friend#lae'zel wants to fuck me so bad and shadowheart thinks i'm her saviour
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#girl help i went on the lotro forums by accident#and ended up on someones thread complaining about how we never get any new content#i think one of my big issues with this is like. do you not have a job? or any other hobbies?#like im not shitting on people who dont have jobs. ive spent my fair share of time unemployed#but its wild that you apparently have NOTHING else going on in your life except for ONE mmo#they said there was only about a weeks worth of new stuff#youre telling me you got through everything in a week? one week#i started sometime mid december and spent a good long time playing the game#because i had a lot of hours cut in late december and january. so guess what i did while i wasnt at work#and i just finished a few days ago??? it took me two months????????#like i dont know if theres anything that will entertain you if you insist upon blasting through everything so fast#this is a you problem and you are going to find it everywhere you go not just here#i also hate when people complain about this because i feel that the devs react to it by making endgame stuff more grindy#i dont want it to be more grindy#unlike SOME people i have a life outside this game but i would still like to succeed at it
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i got a "cooling pad" for christmas that has six fans in it and you put your computer on it. finally searched how to turn the intensity up bc the dials on the thing sure as hell aren't working. "six quiet fans" man my computers internal fans do more work than these fans. and you can't turn it up bc it you use it through a usb port lol so it can't really handle it running the fans faster.
#i'm just annoyed bc like my dad spent money on something useless for me. and i feel bad.#i have my normal fan that i use too.#i have to have the fan on and point so that it blows cool air into my computer or the stuttering while i play bg3 is off the charts#i know the solution is that i need a different computer but this computer cost like a thousand bucks#i was planning to wait a few years to get a new computer. i guess it's more like 2 years at this point lol#god the time's flown then. it's 2024 so i got this coming up on two years ago#hm. maybe more reasonable that it struggles to run bg3 than i thought#esp bc the most intense games aside from it are literally like. black flag and dai LMAO#see when i got this computer i just figured i'd be in for looooong load screens which i was fine with#esp bc that's how it was with dai on my old computer#it's just annoying to be going around act 3 of bg3 and having to be like was THIS the patch that makes it so loading in the market area#crashes the game for me...#i load in and then i have to wait a minute for everything to actually be loaded in and then as soon as i move like 10 feet in game i have t#wait for those textures to load in or have textureless blobs in my cutscenes#rambling
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yknow I play a lot of hard games but usually not "took 73 days to beat" hard
#aka gUESS WHO JUST BEAT RAIN WORLD. AFTER TWO AND A HALF MONTHS#rain world#peridots-nonsense#i got into subterranean like a week ago but have been mostly hanging around by the worm grass shelter for 20 cycles#i went to every region (even if i only spent a couple minutes total in drainage lol). met every echo besides the farm arrays one.#got every passage achievement (every one besides dragon slayer/wanderer in outskirts and industrial within my first few weeks of playing)#and never used a passage anyway. three months!!! rounding up a little! for a game that can be beat in less than 20 cycles.#dh was twelve days (though i'd played through part of it years earlier). stray was seven hours. insc was only a couple days.#i've done two separate ultkill playthroughs so not sure which to count but both were less than a week#hk was actually just over a month. may 24 to june 26th. which is still so much less than this. bftes about a month too#i remember how even just a week into rw i felt like i'd been playing it forever...even just a week in i knew it would be one of Those Games#where i wish i could play it over for the first time again. boy was i right. it almost felt like a second life at times#i loved just running around in certain areas building up stores of food and spears and vulture masks#(what comes to mind are / HI_S02 / CC_S05 / SI_S04 / SB_S07. the first two felt like home!)#(* up in the sixth tag i missed the friend. i was relishing in hubristic bloodlust especially in CC so i didn't have much time for taming)#if the tags here seem particularly incoherent i only falsely apologize. i'm just. reminiscing. i don't think i can do anything else#my heart was pounding as soon as i reached the depths. after 325 cycles. 116 hours. two and a half months. it's over.#maybe a little dramatic but hey it took up an invariable portion of my life for a fifth of a year so. it's just interesting#anyway. a standard ''i took too long on this and now the sun's rising'' goodbye to you tag-wanderer
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the 90s kid experience of accidentally booting up Minecraft and having Moves Like Jagger stuck in your head the rest of the night
#idk maybe it's still a thing#do kids to day know about yogscast?#anyway later after d&d I booted up minecraft again but on purpose this time#I just kinda lost interest after the computer crash a few years ago that wiped out my giant city save I worked on for like a year#that shit had lore and everything#so once that was gone it was just like well now what#I'm not gonna do it all again#some of it I can't do again because it was dependent on mo'creatures#I've never found a mod that replaces that one btw they just aren't the same#I miss my bat horse#I've genuinely considered learning to make entities just to have a bat horse again#I also liked the weird alchemy elements#like ngl that mod had hella feature creep but it was all stuff I liked#and I liked the aesthetic#except for the horses which ironically got added to the vanilla game#the horse model bothers me so much#there was this mod back in version 1.7 or something#called 'simply horses' and it had such good designs and multiple breeds#it had wagons you could sleep in#so many great mods have fallen by the wayside
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When Dean said I need a damn win. Emotionally I am there
#I know it'll be okay but I'm also sick to death of saying it'll be okay and just grinning and bearing it#you know what last week was? Thursday my mom and I planned to have a girls day and just. everything went wrong and we went home early#Friday I planned to go to a friend's house for a gaming night and had an allergic reaction from dinner when I got there and had to go home#Saturday I woke up sick#and today is now my 8th day of being sick with barely any improvement#Friday I had a doctor's appointment and got concerning blood test results that I won't know more#about until I get the opinion of my other doctor on the 6th#so. I'm not having a good time. I would like a damn win actually#vent post#em rambles#personal#when I say last week I don't mean Thursday like a few days ago I mean last Thursday before that#and my doctors appointment was this Friday not last Friday. sorry I worded it confusingly I have a headache and I'm tired
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Various images from the past year or so... posting my evil little photo diary collections once again..
#image commentary in tags once again since they don't allow captions anymore and I feel weird using the alt text for that --#1. one of the billions of pastel sky photos I take and post constnaly because I'm obsessed with the sky lol 2. I got#a gardening mama (like cooking mama) game from a friend a few years ago and don't really play it that much since it's not#as interesting to me in some ways but.. I do like the graphics a lot. It'd be cool if in real life when you did something correclty a bunch#of little rainbows and sparkles appeared in front of you lol. 3. Everyone makes fun of me but this is how I like to have sandwiches#.. basically a salad in between two pieces of bread. barely any meat and cheese but then like 2 inches of lettuce and tomatoes and stuff..#half an entire head of iceberg lettuce on one sandwich... the Cronch... 4. Weird little light colored spider doing a split on the netting#of this strawberry garden. 5. ice creambe... 6. tiny tiny babey strawberry son.. 7. Went to someone's house and they#had this weird channel (I guess for halloween?) where it was like 8 different channels playing at once and you could watch them all#simultaneously (I don't think this is the intended purpose of it I think it's more just to show what's currently airing)#but it's kind of surreal and interesting.. with how on tiktoc and stuff they have those weird sensory overhwleming#videos where its' like 3 videos playing at once with unrelated audio. I wonder if one day people will just watch 8 screens#of tv at once like this after everyone offically has only a 2 second attention span lol. To me its kind of hard to pay attention#to but is an interesting excercise I guess. Like it was a cool challenge to try to watch it all at the same time#8. THE temperature indoors at NIGHT during the late summer........... AUGH.....#9. a pleasant little breakfast of scrambled eggs with green onion. baked salmon. sauteed corn. and a few almonds pecans and pineapple#leftover from making smoothies with it the day before. I eat basically the same rotation of things for every single meal every single#day (like literally I have had the same exact breakfast for about 2 years with zero variation except for special occasion) so whenever I do#actually have the energy to make something different or I have some interesting food for some special occasion reason. I feel more#inclined to document it lol.. like.. oooooo...eggs.. Which are normal to some people. but to me it's like.. wow... revolutionary.. so#different from my usual Scheduled Bland Stomach Problems Safety Gruel lol.#photo diary#spiders tw
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Happy birthday elden ring
#funny enough I just started playing it again a few days ago and I don’t even realize it was so close to the anniversary#anyway in addition to having the stats to use every weapon and spell + being at either the soft or hard cap for the 3 non damage stats#I’ve now done every cave dungeon or catacomb#I’m sure there are still a few open world bosses like death birds or nights cavalry#so I might try those next#I’m in kind of a dilemma because I wanna keep playing my current save since I’ve got everything so I don’t wanna start a new save#but I don’t wanna go into new game plus unless I know there aren’t Gonna be dlc#because if they follow the trends of the other games they’re gonna be harder than base game stuff#and I don’t wanna have my first playthrough of them on ng+ difficulty#anyway tag rant over I probably will just start a new save soon#elden ring
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