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nbrook29 · 3 years

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99 🖤🖤

Hello there! You’re officially my last dialogue prompt 🤩 I’m sorry this took so long, anon, I hope you’re gonna like it at least a little 🤓

I don’t take prompts for this challenge anymore. Just wanted to put that out there 😇 There are so many amazing ones on that list, but as of now I have 3 WIPs and one additional one in the works and I’d like to finish them before wtfock ends 😅

Anywho, here you go!

99. “I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

* * *

Robbe is going to kill Moyo.

In fact, he's going to kill all three of his so-called friends because none of them protested when Moyo, tipsy and on his way to drunk, announced that this party sucked and was in dire need of some spice.

He wishes he had listened to his past self and stayed home just like he had originally planned. It was supposed to be a quiet night in, editing videos or maybe spent in bed rewatching Romeo and Juliet in peace with no broers around to mock his movie choice while stuffing his face with onion chips and pretending the movie does not make him emotional, no sir. The wetness in his eyes must be sweat, not tears.

Then, after the movie would have ended, his sulking levels high, it would be time for his favorite activity of recent - daydreaming about reality in which he actually had the fucking guts to make a proper move instead of turning red everytime a certain someone was in his close proximity; smiling at him with that perfect sweet lovely smile that turned his already gorgeous features so much more beautiful that Robbe could weep.

And doesn’t that sound like a magnificent evening?

It may sound kinda lame, Robbe is a man enough to admit that, but the prospect of spending the night watching his friends salivating over girls they can’t get being the alternative wouldn't be particularly alluring to anyone, he guesses. Especially since he never partakes in that salivating part himself, instead chugging one beer after another and playing his designated role of a wallflower.

Story of his life.

The whole thing just plain sucks, because it’s not like his friends aren’t well aware of the fact that Robbe’s interests lie elsewhere and that he’s usually bored out of his mind at those parties. But when there’s at least a semi-attractive girl around them they don’t care about anything else but getting her number and Robbe’s not exactly their priority then. In fact, he could well enough not be there at all and it wouldn’t make much difference. It happens every time they drag him along to those parties and every time he just stands there, rolling his eyes on their embarrassing attempts of flirting.

Not like he’s the master of flirting himself, but even he’s not capable of stooping as low as they usually do.

This time, he reluctantly agreed to come to this one, against his better judgement, after Jens bugged him about it for their entire biology class, trying to convince him it was going to be more of a small gathering rather than a party. And frankly speaking, he did that just to make him shut up so mrs Jansen stopped glaring at him. Like he was the one running his mouth.

Once Robbe said the magic words “I’ll be there” there was no way of getting out of it. Still, his plan was to come by for an hour or two to get the broers of his back, drink a few beers, talk to Jana maybe, and then quietly leave when everyone would be too drunk and too busy tonguing at each other's tonsils to notice he's gone.

But to his surprise, the party turned out not to be the typical banger they usually attended. It wasn’t even that bad and he was kinda having fun since he wasn't forced to play the guys' sidekick-gay-friend this time around and instead was dragged by Zoe to the kitchen to drink shots with her, Jana and Luca right after he arrived.

However, parties are not really his scene in general so when it started getting really late he finished his last Buttery Nipple shot composed by Luca (don’t ask) and was just about to make an apologetic face at the girls and say his goodbyes.

But then Noor and Brit arrived.

With him.

And Robbe almost swallowed his tongue.

Nobody should have the right to look this good but there he was, laughing with Milan in the hall while taking his signature leather jacket off, running a hand through his smooth like silk hair (Robbe's convinced it's indeed very silky) to ruffle it a little like it ever needed any styling, and in general looking like he had just walked out of Robbe's dream straight into Milan's apartment.

Sander Driesen.

The reason for Robbe’s cheeks being permanently stained pink as of late.

They met at one of those after school clubs led by Amber several weeks ago that Robbe came to only because he agreed (after pretty much being blackmailed into it) to play Aaron’s wingman in winning Amber’s heart.

He was gone as soon as those green eyes met his and the boy in front of him, wearing a black Bowie t-shirt and a leather jacket, shook his hand while smiling a little unsurely but still friendly, never breaking their eye contact as he introduced himself in a honey-like voice that penetrated every cell of his body, knees buckling a little, heart stuttering, the whole shebang.

He’s still thanking god he managed to hold back the whimper that was about to get out when he was saying his own name back.

Needless to say, the meeting became much more bearable after that.

Even having to witness Aaron’s cringeworthy attempts of gaining Amber’s attention weren’t that bad anymore. Not when they made Sander chuckle under his breath and catch his eye over Amber’s shoulder, winking at Robbe with a mischief dancing in his eyes as he bit his lip to keep his own laugh at bay.

And then, Amber came up with some stupid “love excercise” or whatever the fuck she called it and made them all hold hands in a circle. She claimed it released stress and spread positivity or some other bullshit, but Robbe was convinced it was just a ploy she came up with to hold the school’s number one fuckboy Senne’s hand (who, if Robbe had to guess, also wasn’t there out of his own free will).

Robbe wasn’t a very touchy-feely person, especially with people he had no business of touching in the first place so the whole thing was beyond painful. Thankfully, Jana came to his rescue, snatching his right hand as they exchanged smirks over Amber’s lofty speech about positive energy filling their bodies.

But then someone else gently took his other hand and when he went to inspect who it was, annoyance already starting to creep in, his mouth went dry, eyes going up, up, up the person’s leather-clad arm before stopping on Sander’s face, looking far too entertained.

The boy took an overly deep breath, eyes closed and face feigning seriousness, breathing out loudly.

“Ahh, I can already feel that rush of energy,” Sander leaned in to whisper to him, a teasing tilt to his voice making Robbe giggled at his antics.

“I guess Amber was right then.”

“No no, I don’t think it’s Amber’s techniques, I just think it’s because of you.”

Robbe just gaped at this shameless flirting, receiving another wink when caught blushing deep pink. Sander seemed unfazed though, totally chill, like saying lame lines and winking at boys was in his everyday repertoire. It definitely wasn’t like that for Robbe, and definitely not from boys as cute as Sander.

He should have probably rolled his eyes at him, called him cocky and full of himself. And yet.

There was something about Sander’s demeanor that screamed it was all a facade, and that underneath there was a huge dork that came out right after that guard was let down. Robbe couldn’t even be annoyed with the smug winking because it was adorned with such a cute smile that it called for a fond eye roll rather than scoffing.

Before he could form at least a half cool response, Amber started shushing all of them with a bossy face, glaring at every person that dared to make a sound. So with a rush of sudden boldness, Robbe just squeezed Sander’s hand and looked at him from under his lashes, biting his lip in an attempt at being coy (and cringing at himself internally) despite his body thrumming with nerves standing this close to Sander, and for some unknown reason it brought the desired effect.

Sander kept smiling at him surreptitiously throughout the entire meeting, making him laugh with his playful faces at some of Amber’s more ridiculous statements, and it felt like they had an entire conversation even though they didn’t exchange one word during that half an hour.

When they were finally free to go home it was after 21, Robbe realized with a whine. After they all collected their things and were ready to leave, Sander turned around in the doorway, searching for Robbe’s eyes while ignoring the rest of their friends crowding against the door, and when Robbe glanced furtively into his direction his expression turned almost bashful as he said bye, Robin.

And then again with the winking.

Good god this boy.

And how cute it was he couldn’t actually wink? It looked more like a reinforced blinking, but he still looked cute doing it.

Once Robbe came back home that evening, thoughts occupied with bleached hair and the smell of leather jacket, he couldn’t stop himself from searching for Sander’s social media. In just one sitting he gathered a handful of information, finding out Sander was a year older and recently transferred to his school (which would explain how he had missed him in the corridors). He also had a photo with Amber down at the bottom of his profile and from the caption it seemed like they were cousins.

Robbe’s fingers hovered over the ‘follow’ button, but he didn’t want to seem like a stalker so he just closed the app, throwing his phone on his bed in exasperation feeling sorry for himself and his inexperience in talking to boys.

The universe decided to be graceful for him for once in his life though and put Sander on his path again only 3 days later.

Like every Saturday afternoon Robbe was in the skate park with the broers, taking piss of one another’s skills and trying out new tricks while basking in the October sun that felt more like it was full on spring rather than the beginning of fall. He was in the middle of showing off some of his best tricks to the sounds of his friends hollering when he caught sight of bleached hair in his peripheral, almost falling straight on his ass. But luck was on his side and he avoided making a spectacle out of himself.

Once he was safely on the ground, skateboard under his foot, he glanced in the direction of white hair one more time to see Sander lowering his vintage camera and whistling, making an impressed face and promptly causing Robbe to downcast his eyes bashfully.

“Hey.”

“Hey, Robin.”

Robbe sighed. “It’s Robbe.”

“I know, but isn’t that a cute nickname?”

Robbe ducked his head, smiling a little to himself, cursing the heat rising in his cheeks. “Are you always this annoying?”

For a moment, Sander seemed to be taken aback, but then he must have noticed the teasing glint in Robbe’s eyes because he relaxed visibly, confidence back on his face.

Then, easily and offhandedly, he said, “No, just with very certain people.”

If Robbe had any doubts before about Sander taking immense pleasure out of teasing him, he didn’t anymore. He was flashed with another mischievous smile and then Sander nodded at the bowl.

“That was pretty awesome.”

“Thanks.” Robbe scratched at the back of his neck self-conciously, ignoring his friends’ intrigued faces and praying they didn’t say anything stupid. “To be honest, these aren’t even that difficult, anybody could do them...”

“Pff, I tried this skateboarding thing once and let me tell you, I was an absolute disaster so don’t sell yourself short.” Sander nudged at his shoulder with a knowing look, the contact sending a shiver through Robbe’s entire body.

“So what are you doing here if you suck at it?” He sent him a toothy grin when Sander gaped at his brazen words, faux-scandalized.

He then lifted his camera swiftly and took a photo of Robbe’s dumbfounded face.

“I’m only around this deadly thing to take artsy pictures of cute boys.”

Looking very proud of himself, Sander laughed at his indignant spluttering, refusing to show Robbe the photo at first, giving in a few seconds later under his killer pout (Sander’s words).

“So, is this where you spend your afternoons?” he asked casually once they sat down at a nearby bench, Sander scrolling through his camera roll and showing him the photos.

Robbe nodded, watching Aaron from afar attempting the backside ollie and failing miserably. It pulled out a snort from Sander.

“Well, you’re definitely better at it than your friends.”

Elbowing him in the side as a sign of loyalty to his friends, he replied. “Jens is actually better than me.”

Sander sent him a curious look. “Is he your boyfriend?”

“What?! Eww, no! I have way better taste than that.” It’s not like he’d admit he had crushed on his best friend a year ago. So, hopefully, he sounded convincing.

Sander lifted his hands in surrender, laughing at his outburst. “Okay, okay, message received, only the cutest boys for you,” he paused, biting at his lip to hold his smirk. “Makes sense,” he muttered under his breath, but Robbe heard him anyway.

Later that day, he got a instagram notification that informed him that earthlingoddity was following him as of now and damn if that didn’t make Robbe’s heart beat faster.

earthlingoddity sent you a link

S: Considering today’s unfortunate incident, I made you a bowie playlist, need to teach the youngsters like you the real music 😎😏

The first message from Sander made him scoff, but he rolled his eyes at himself anyway when he remembered his conversation with him at the skatepark, asking about the shirt and prompting Sander to quiz him about David Bowie’s songs.

Robbe hid his face in his hands at the mere memory.

Space Cowboy.

How embarrassing.

Sander tried so hard not to burst out laughing at Robbe’s confusion when his answer was met with a blank stare, bless him.

R: So you're one of those people?

S: What people?

R: Self-righteous hipsters 😜

S: Now now Robin

No need for names 😩

R: It's Robbe

R o b b e

S: Okay Robin ;)

R: 🙄

Unbelievable

S: So

What's up? 🙃

They kept up at this casual texting for 2 recent weeks, getting to know each other, and Sander confirming that he does, in fact, have a soft side. Robbe also realized he was a much bolder person when no face to face interaction was required when he had more time before responding to Sander. Then there were the occasional “hellos” at school when they crossed paths in the halls, but so far their friendship, if he could even call it that, hadn’t evolved further.

In fact, this party was the first time Robbe had seen him in a week.

Their eyes met for a few short seconds and Robbe waved at him, immediately after wanting to bang his head at the table because who the fuck waves these days?

Sander didn’t seem to mind this dorky display at all, beaming at him from across the hallway and not paying much attention to Milan who was talking his ear off. A second later, he was out of Robbe’s sight, dragged by Milan and the girls to the living room, leaving him staring longingly after him.

Before Robbe got his shit together and on shaky legs went there to maybe squeeze out a few words to him, Moyo was already on his way of arranging people into a circle and producing a bottle to spin.

What a bad fucking timing.

This was so not Robbe’s idea of fun so he started to surreptitiously backing off to the hall to slide out the door but Jana, the traitor, grabbed his arm and sat him next to her, seeming very excited about the game.

It’s not like he was the only one reluctant to play though. Sander’s face looked rather bemused too.

“Come oooon, Sander,” Noor groaned at him, pulling at his sleeve relentlessly to make him plop his butt on her left side. “You promised to leave that sulky slash lovesick face at home and have fun. This is fun!”

“I think we have a different definition of fun, darling,” he retorted, his gaze sweeping through the half-drunk faces, stopping at Robbe’s for a millisecond. It was so quick he thought he imagined the apprehensive look on his face, but then Sander did sit down, letting out a long-suffering sigh and promptly avoided his gaze throughout the game. Which was clearly an intentional effort because they sat exactly opposite each other.

To say Robbe was confused would be an understatement.

And that’s how he finds himself here, sitting in a circle amongst his friends and several strangers who keep hollering and shoving tongues in each other’s throats. He had one close call when the bottle spinned by a redhead girl almost pointed at him, making him hold his breath but then stopping on Moyo sitting on his other side, who was way more eager to fill the deed.

When it’s finally Sander’s turn to spin the bottle, Robbe's heart starts beating double time and he twists his fingers nervously. He realizes with dread that there is no good outcome of this situation; if it lands on any of his friends or any of those few people he only vaguely recognizes, he’s going to have to watch Sander play tonsil tennis with them and his stomach turns unpleasantly with something akin to jealousy at the mere thought.

But if it lands on him?

Oh god.

The bottle is spinning already, Robbe having missed the moment Sander put it in motion, too busy wrangling with his thoughts about what he should do. The fact Sander has been avoiding his eyes ever since they started this stupid game makes him even more nervous about the whole thing.

Then the bottle stops, pointing at him so accurately that it leaves no room for question.

And Sander’s face positively falls.

Sitting near him Jens and Moyo are giving him subtle thumbs up and not so subtle shit-eating grins with Aaron next to them clearly confused at their behavior all the while Sander looks like he’s in pain.

Eyes glued to the floor, body rigid, looking like he’d want to be anywhere but here.

People are staring at them, waiting for something to happen and Robbe feels nauseous.

And so humiliated.

How could he misinterpret Sander’s behavior so much? And it’s not even that, not really. Does the idea of kissing him disgusts him that much he can’t even give him one stupid kiss to avoid putting Robbe on the spot?

From the corner of his eye he can see Noor elbowing Sander in the side and there’s an entire conversation happening between them without one word being uttered.

Then, several things happen at once. The boys let go of any subtlety and start whooping and hollering like they want to force Sander to make some kind of move, there’s a loud whack coming from the kitchen where one of the couples went to continue their PDA so Jana and Zoe get up to check the damage and then Adi, who has been rummaging through the liquor cabinet for the last ten minutes, yells that he found a ten year old whiskey, making the broers scrambling off the floor to get their hands on it.

The rest of the people are still here with them though. Still staring. And Sander still seems to be rooted to the spot.

And Robbe has had enough.

Ignoring Noor’s soft Robbe, he gets up and with a heavy heart almost runs to the door, putting his jacket on in a haste, frustration and shame cursing through his body as he runs down the stairs two step at a time, wanting to get outside as fast as he can.

The cold air washes over him once he reaches the entrance and he breaths in shakily, feeling his eyes welling up despite his hardest efforts not to cry.

It just hurts. It really hurts. And if he’s being honest with himself, the fact that there have been witnesses to his humiliation is a small part of the reason why he feels this way. It’s about the fact that it was Sander.

Sander. This boy who let him believe there may actually be someone interested in him. In that way. Sander, who flirted with him, complimented him, smiled at him, listened to him and sent him Bowie playlists.

Sander, who he felt more connected to recently than to any of his friends.

He wipes at his eyes angrily, scoffing at the fact that this asshole was able to make him cry, when he hears rushed steps on the sidewalk behind him.

“Robbe!”

Walking faster, he tries to ignore the sound until there’s a hand on his shoulder stopping him in his tracks. He turns around ready to blow out in Sander’s face but the boy is faster.

“I’m so sorry for that,” he pants, voice tinted with desperation, apologies written across his face as his eyes flit all over Robbe’s like he’s trying to read his mind.

But Robbe only lets out a humorless laugh. “No worries, I understand, you were very clear. Point taken,” he sneers, starting to walk again.

“No, you don’t understand,” Sander pleads with him, taking his hand in his own to keep him from leaving. Robbe wants to pull it back, but the distressed look in Sander’s eyes makes him hesitate. “I didn’t want our first kiss to be a part of some stupid game. Not when I spent weeks trying to come up with a perfect scenario for our first kiss in my head.”

Robbe promptly loses his breath at his confession.

“You wanted to kiss me before?”

“Ever since I saw you,” Sander confirms in a small voice. His demeanor lacks the confidence Robbe got acquainted with, ripped of any trace of the usual conckiness. Instead, Sander appears almost shy, biting his lip nervously as if waiting for a blow and heart-breaking rejection.

There won’t be a rejection though. Not tonight.

Without second-guessing himself, Robbe takes that one step that still separates them and seals their lips together, hands drifting to Sander’s rosy cheeks on their own, like there was a magnet pulling them in. Sander is stunned at first, his lips unresponsive, but it only takes about three seconds for his brain to catch up and then.

Then.

Then there’s Chernobyl in Robbe’s head.

Fuck.

The way this boy kisses.

Phew.

Robbe’s brain shuts off as Sander’s mouth moves over his with intention, sliding together in a rhythm that leaves him breathless. It’s almost impossible to keep all the noises that threaten to escape inside, one small whimper getting out without Robbe’s accord, but it’s okay because it gets swallowed by Sander’s unyielding lips right after it leaves Robbe’s, making Sander pull him even closer.

Eventually, they have to stop, getting dizzy from the lack of air. When their mouths do separate though it’s only for a centimeter and they keep panting in that small space between them, soon breaking out in quiet giggles.

“I've wanted to kiss you ever since I saw you too. Ever since that stupid meeting,” Robbe admits, feeling brave and like he’s floating on air, no confession scary enough right now. Sander looks very pleased with his words, and Robbe can feel the telltales of his regular confident smile coming back to his face under his lips when Sander pecks him softly.

Then, he draws back, regarding Robbe with eyes full of mischief.

“I only joined to meet you.”

That makes Robbe cock his brow in surprise and he searches his face for a lie or at least a joke, but he doesn’t find any. “You saw me before?”

There’s a pause and then Sander’s smile turns softer. “I saw you the first day of school.”

And, wow. He did not expect such a turn of events.

“You were sitting at a lunch table with your friends, deep in thought, looking so beautiful you took my breath away. It felt like I saw an angel.”

Blood floods Robbe’s cheek and he drops his eyes under Sander’s intense gaze, because he’s not used to such praise, or praise whatsoever. And then there’s Sander, looking at him like he’s something precious, like he hung the moon and stars, touching him so gently and kissing him so passionately and Robbe feels like passing out.

Sander must have sensed he was getting overwhelmed because he chuckles quietly and cradles his cheek in his palm, thumb sweeping under his eye in a soothing motion as he leaves a few small kisses on his other cheek, melting Robbe in a pile of goo right there on the sidewalk, quiet night around them.

Once he pulls himself together, he can’t resist the tugging at the corners of his mouth and a full-blown smile blooms on his face that’s instantly matched by Sander’s own.

“You know, I don’t think I ever played spin the bottle before but I’d give it zero stars on booking.com,” he declares suddenly pulling a laugh out of Robbe. “I was so scared I’m gonna have to watch you kiss somebody else, phew!” He places a hand on his chest comically, turning on the dramatics. “My poor heart wouldn’t take it, Robin!”

And fuck, he’s so cute that Robbe can only laugh at this (his?) dork, fondly rolling eyes at his antics.

“Yeah, I didn’t want anybody to kiss you either. And it’s Robbe,” he adds with a long-suffering sigh, futilely, he’s sure, but it’s still worth it because Sander’s cheek in tongue expression lets him know the boy loves to rile him up and is not going to stop anytime soon.

Still, to wipe off the smug smile for the time being he pulls him back into a kiss by the lapels of his leather jacket and Sander doesn’t exactly protest such. The second kiss is slower, more thorough, but still mind blowing enough for Robbe to feel heat tugging at his stomach.

“Will you go on a date with me? Tomorrow? Or any other time you’re free? Please?” Sander whispers in the small space between them after they finally break apart, foreheads resting against each other and fireworks going on in Robbe’s brain. Despite them standing so close Robbe can see Sander’s face pretty clear, and he can see his hopeful but tentative expression as he waits for him to answer, eyes growing unsure with each second of silence.

Not wanting to keep him in suspense anymore, he gives his parted lips one more lingering kiss, too weak to resist them when they shine so prettily in the street light above them. “Tomorrow sounds perfect.”

#wtfock #og easter eggs because it's cute af #😌

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la-paritalienne · 4 years

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Don't know if the anon wanted it but I do want the review for Fine Line 👀

oh yayyyyyy! there it goes! fair warning, i’ve written it upon my first / second listen as i do w all my reviews, bc i feel like that way it manages to include a first impression kind of vibe without it being superficial. i’ve reread and i agree w myself (hehe) and i’ve lifted a few grades bc i’ve been feeling some stuff more lately, but yeah, this was not written now so. just to clarify.

golden: okayyyyy i wasn’t expecting for his voice to sound like this!! like, low and raspy? it sounds more intimate this way, i think? as for the sound, it’s kind of funky and think as an opener, this song really represents the sound he chose for this album… i could be wrong tho, let’s see how it goes on. slightly repetitive but the voice won me over and overall, i really like it.

fave lyrics: i’m out of my head and i know that you’re scared because i’m so open.

8/10

watermelon sugar: when this song starts i’m like ok… i like everything about it… but then the chorus comes in and idk, something annoys me about the ‘watermelon sugar high’, i think it’s hyper metric so that doesn’t sit right w my ears, and then worst lyric ever goes to ‘i want your belly’… so overall it’s a meh from me. the breathe me in / out part sounds so lovely thoooo.

fave lyrics: baby you’re the end of june

6-/10

adore you: this is my fave out of the singles! it’s just boppy and cute, a feel good song. it doesn’t amaze me but i wouldn’t mind listening to it often bc it’s just a happy song and it’s sooo catchy, it’s the only single that truly got stuck in my head. it does sound like a zayn song – like, a lot – in some parts, which isn’t bad per se just… unexpected i guess?

fave lyrics: you don’t have to say you love me, i just wanna tell you something, lately you’ve been on my mind

7,5/10

lights up: at first this song disappointed me very much so idk if i can be completely objective on it, rehearing it i actually really like it… like maybe as a song it’s better than adore you but less catchy so i liked it way less at first? here too, major zayn vibes. it’s growing on me, although there’s still something that i’m not a fan of, idk what it is exactly… maybe the strophe?? i love the ‘shine’ part, not sold on the verse and ‘la da da’, but overall maybe listening to it again i like it better than adore you… it grew on me!

fave lyrics: it’d be so sweet if things just stayed the same

8/10

cherry: oh??? i almost didn’t recognise him, there’s a reverberation in the voice or something? i’m no expert so i’m sorry if i’m bullshitting, i’m just trying to describe what i hear. i feel like i like the music more than i like the words (not the words per se, although the songwriting is kind of childish here, tbh, but more like the delivery). i don’t like this… it’s boring and whiny. (also the ‘coucou’ as a background sound kind of irks me) but it’s a good song, maybe just not memorable or not my personal fave. the ending audio doesn’t make much sense to me bc it’s not something you say in like a voicemail, it’s something that requires a response like, as if he’d recorded a conversation and removed his own voice? or just kind of staged? but i like how the final word fades into music.

fave lyrics: i just miss your accent and your friends (let’s be real, the lyrics are so unimpressive, it was hard to pick a line).

5/10

falling: oh woooooooooow, i love the way his voice sounds without any effect on it… to me, the lyrics just hit deeper this way, but it’s also that the lyrics here are really something else! and the lyrics……. wow again. i’m loving it! it does that thing where it makes me sick to my stomach in a meaningful, beautiful way. oooh there’s a loooong high note too! nothing to add, this is perfect for me.

fave lyrics: [everything wtf. but especially] what if i’m someone you won’t talk about?

10+/10

to be so lonely: i wasn’t expecting where this was going when it started, very beatlesy, soothing sound and soothing voice! there’s something dreamy about it, the pre-chorus especially, that makes the chorus surprising. and then it’s insistent and like… gets groovier and groovier. veeeery beatles, definitely. i’m a fan!

fave lyrics: i’m just an arrogant son of a bitch who can’t admit when he’s sorry

8,5/10

she: oh i looove psychedelic rock!!!! my genreeeee! beatles again, and pink floyd of course as the most obvious influences. (i want you / she’s so heavy?? it reminds me of the lacrosse the universe version also). and i feel like pink floyd for something in the sound, but the whole thing like voice + sound is more beatles, the descriptive side to it… it reminds me of eleanor rigby like… the way the song makes me feel, kind of anxious in a way that’s not necessarily bad? it just makes me feel things. flexing w that instrumental!!!!! wow. i mean this is my jam, i also love the lyrics so it’s a big big yes from me, although i mean, not groundbreaking as in – it’s been done a lot over the 60s and 70s especially… which is why it’s not a ten, but still, great song.

fave lyrics: she lives in daydreams with me

9,5/10

sunflower, vol. 6: cute!!! the lyrics, the sound, the light falsetto part, the funkish beat! oooh and there’s some funky instrument that i’m too ignorant to define, but nice! maybe for my taste it’s kind of messy, i guess in a good way but also in a way that it’s not something i want to listen to a lot, i think? the hooting and howling in the end… interesting… not really my thing and the beatles did it in the 60s but like… cute.

fave lyrics: i’ve got your face hung up high in the gallery

6,5/10

canyon moon: this sounds too much like italian masterpiece ‘acqua azzurra, acqua chiara’ for me to take it completely seriously, but per se it’s quite nice to listen to, it feels almost country? i swear every time the guitar comes in i kinda lose it bc it’s just… sooo much alike, so i’m sorry i can’t really say more about it. cool lyrics and it’s a nice song!

fave lyrics: the world’s happy waiting

7-/10

treat people with kindness: ok this is……… i’m sorry but i’m cringing a bit (a lot). when he comes in it’s not bad, it’s just… the idea of making a song out of a slogan is not genius, to me, like, it’s bound to sound weird and inorganic i think?? i’m sorry, i’m trying to like it but i can’t, like there’s some nice screaming (all together now, just a little bit of kindness) and the gospel chorus per se is amazing but i can’t unhear the lyrics and overall it sounds a bit messy.

fave lyrics: and if we’re here long enough we’ll see it’s all for us and we’ll belong

3/10

fine line: i feel like this is a very fine (hehe) stylistic excercise, again, kind of psychedelic, lots going on w the music, lots of falsetto and some powerful lyrics, but somehow i get distracted while listening to it… kind of (very) boring? especially w how long it is, i guess it aims to make a statement but if so idk, i expected some powerful change throughout? a bridge or something? the mind wanders as you listen to it, one of my least faves for sure.

fave lyrics (these are impressive tho!!): put a price on emotion, i’m looking for something to buy, you’ve got my devotion but man, i can hate you sometimes

5-/10

thank you so much for asking! i do these for myself and like the few friends that care bc i find it interesting and ‘challenging’ to put my thoughts down and grade stuff but also a relaxing pastime at the same time. let me know what you think of course if you want♡

#Anonymous

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omgitsbettertodothantonot-blog · 5 years

Text

Day 1 (5/2/2019) Friday

Im making these diary entries online because i feel to embarassed and dont trust my family to give me the some fucking privacy to write on a peice of paper. I guess this is to just vent and say some juicey shit about people around me. I am not doing this to hurt those around me im doing this to get some fucking sanity and not keeping it in. All name used shall be changed and any information that may lead back to me or those in a situation described shall be changed a bit for pricacy reasons. This could be a daily thing to do and its easier than writting on paper.

Anyway this is my daily life, I wake up around 7am each moring and i have about a hour before the child i babysitt wakes up. Hes 2 years old, for his privacy ill be calling him bubbs. Hes a cool kid, he doesnt act out or have much tantrums, i learned to be thankful that i get to have a kid like him. Last month i went on a roadtrip with my aunt to Colorade, Denver. It felt like a total shitshow, but i often dwell on the negative alot of the time over the many positive times. Well on the entire way over he was crying and having alot of tantrums, oof. When we went the only states i been to were Arizona, and New Mexico, and the tip of Neveda (lol the tip hah).

I shouldn’t look back with irritation, and restlessness and headaches caused by a crying child, another two children complaining, and staying in a 12 hour drive, and drinking a hell lot of redbull and monster drinks. But instead i should look back and remember the 2000′s songs that my aunt played on the radio that gave me alot of nostolgia, and the well written audiobook that i read (btw it wasn’t like freakin moby dick or tales of two cities, it was fanfiction). I remember how cold the air felt in the roads near the mountains in colorado, it was so cold that the water was freezing and so was the air. In Denver the streets were interesting. They had alot of small narrrow alleyways that were inbetween houses and shops. There were alot of small houses, and guess what? they had BASEMENTS!dd!!!! I think that was the first basement i was ever in. We stayed in my Aunt;s friends house for about 2 days. There was a wife and husband and 2 children, The girl was about 6 and the boy was like 3. The girl was well mannered and got along well with my neice( aunts daughter). The young boy was 3 and was always very energergetic, he played aroung with bubba (child i babysitt). They were a bit rowdy.

Their house was beautiful, it had a wooden fence, and gravel in the front yard, It was a red brick house, with white borders and a patio with a roof. There were chairs, a bench, chak, and toys in the front. They didn;t have a backyard, but they had a basement fillled with toys and internet, tv, and the disc of the new animated into the spiderverse movie, I loved the movie. The graohics were amazing, the anomation was on point,

The restroom had a beautiful stain glass geometric window, a showerhead, and had a farmhouse door wirh a lock that you have in a hotel so noone knocks open you unlock your door to checks who there. They gave us a room that had a bunk bed a pull out matress and soft ass beds.

AFter our vist with them we spent the night in alberquerque and it was a suite in a resort, it was a big room. it was like PRETTY WOMAN BIG. They had a fucking telephone beside the toliet. AND GET THIS the bathtub had jets inside them. and they had a cool flipping mirror and big mirrors with a on/off swith.And they also had a shower with cobbleston interior and a cool showerehead, The kitchen was styled like a bar and there was balconey, a jump from there would cause immediate death.

On the way back i drank a unhealthy amount of cafffine and sugar, even for ME! I had about in total 1 starbucks carmel macchiatio venti , 5 redbulls, and 3 monster drinks, and another 1 cup of normal black coffee with a hint of creamer.

On our way to Denver, Colorado we met another one of my Aunts dear friends, They were humble as fuck, and had great hospitality. They seemed very oped people, and they had a dog, a piano, a baby, and amazing food. Their Father was my Aunt’s 4th grade Creative Writting Teacher. He had gentle steel blue eyes, and he had a aura that was comfortabel yet defensive, and the Mother was the same. I belive that they didn’t want to be judged and hur by strangers by showing vunerbility. They have a daughter and a son that i met. Ther daughter grew up with my aunt in Ganado, Arizona, on the rez(servation). The mother i think was a nurse, and their son was very inviting and nice. Their son showed us the dog and was giving some commentary on the football game. The daughter was a singer and in a band called THE HAUNTED WINDCHIMES. They were very generious people, they gave us the pleasure of a homecookes meal, some coffee for the road, and offered us a room to spend the night in. They did all this for us, they faced many hardships in life, be what i can tell. They have a mentally challenged son that is 28 years old. At first i thought he was a teenager. I believe thats why they were so defensive. I also have a mentally challenged sister, but not to the degree of their son. I should give them a proper thank you for their hospitality when i see them again.

Also the daughter has a baby thats very cute, she and bubbs bonded and the baby got some social contact and excercise.

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