#let sit for a couple months
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It's scarily easy to get worryingly into vanilla making.
#buy a pack of vanilla beans off amazon#get a big thing of cheap vodka#split beans and put into vodka#let sit for a couple months#baking#vanilla#hacks#somehow actually cheaper#bulk
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Patrick Troughton lays down the law as Italian police Inspector Guido Gambetti in The Saint: Interlude in Venice (5.2, ITC, 1966)
#fave spotting#patrick troughton#the saint#interlude in venice#doctor who#classic doctor who#two#1966#itc#Pat had made a previous Saint ep (2.18‚ The Romantic Matron) also as a local cop embroiled in Simon's schemes (Argentine in the earlier ep#Venetian here). his cop this time is rather more fleshed out; he's astute and intelligent enough to allow Simon pretty much a free#hand in pursuing the villains (all the most successful guest cops pretty much sit back and let him do his thing) whilst also acknowledging#that solving the case will undoubtedly be good for his career. there's also a subtle hint of comic business; in their first meeting#in a hospital‚ Pat sits on what appears to be a stretcher and has to be moved off it by an irate nurse‚ and he also offers to light candles#for Simon (bc he's the Saint ofc). this aired almost exactly a month before Pat debuted in DW in Power of the Daleks episode 1#his tenure on Who would put an end to these kinds of guest spots for a couple of years‚ and afterwards he'd generally appear in more mature#or quirky guest roles‚ making this quite possibly the last of his detective roles#but he's a lot of fun as always‚ and his Italiano accent is definitely on the right side of Ham#and to think @thisbluespirit you and @basiltheratatouille were planning to waylay me and steal these dvds away!#and deprive me of a little Italian Patty T?! monsters both
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Really funny how not touching a WIP for months can make you finish something in one sitting that you have been struggling with for literal YEARS
#i was just idly looking through my wips for something to catch my attention#because i'm kinda exhausted and finished what i was working on yesterday#and i opened something i started in like. april 2022. and added the last 500 words to it just like that#well well well#for the first time in like a year i'm set with finished fics to post until like. the end of march *at least*#kaj rambles#writing#it just *really* helps with blocks to just let wips sit for a couple months without trying to force working on them#at least for me
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Laughing at the fact DB asked me to “come over” like okay first of all we’re on the other side of the world from each other second … literally WHAT would we do if I went to America I know exactly what would happen and there is little to nothing else that could stem from such a trip other than that. That’s a lot of money and effort spent travelling just for that bro get a girl in your own country goddamn 😭
#everyone knows there would be nothing friendly going on if I went LMFAO boys are so obvious you just have to play along to give them the#satisfaction of them *thinking* they’re tricking you or taking advantage but you’re just sitting there cause they help you take up time and#they can be entertaining sometimes#they’re so daft istg like bro you think you’re using me ? you’re not I’m *letting* you use me there’s a difference 😭#dora daily#keep in mind we had been taking for a consecutive couple of days and he says this#like if we were talking for some months or a year I’d get it but bro#you know nothing of me literally what would we do over there together#his reaction to me telling him the Eris story was also telling cause he didn’t react at all because he was doing the exact same to me LMFAOO#I’m so funny guys he’s funny for that too#yk what he asked after? he was like are you into girls ? that was his only concern 😭#like bro I bet you if I was into girls he would try to change me too#it would be a challenge in his eyes#because he knew I was aroace yet he still said things implying I’ll grow out of it#brother …. what if I don’t 😭#anyways funny story time yay#like brother I am not going to that shit ass country only to come back bearing a discord boy junior LMFAO I’m sobbing that’s foul#also I’m not gonna be with a computer science major nuh uh have you not seen the stereotype that’s nasty 😭#I’m only with an architect :3#I’m already in a relationship :333
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love everyone so much if u asked me to hang out the last couple weeks I want u to know I had so much fun and I dream of kissing u in the moonlight however. if anyone asks me to do anything this next weekend I'm going to scream and cry and throw up
#haven't had a weekend with Alone Time in like. 2 months. and I'm starting to go insane#I just need to. sit outside in the sun and read with a dog on my lap. or alternatively lay on the couch in the living room and watch movie#no people no voices. no going out. let me be HOME#once again tho muah muah love everyone I've had plans with the last couple months 🩷#truly genuinely had so much fun would LOVE to do it again. just not this coming thursday/friday I need to turn my brain off for a bit#text post
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just a guy with his candles
#my art#my doodles#this one is at least a couple of months old#pretty sure i drew it back when this whole let’s destroy ukraine’s infrastructure thing just started#when we were sitting in the dark for hours and#on one memorable occasion for days#with candles and phone lighters#and without scheduled disconnection from the energy system like we have now#time seems to slow down in a weird way#makes you think about how much slower the pace of life used to be#anyway i did always like that scene in the 2 season with alfred and candles#was not in the mood to post back then#but the colours are pretty fun so it goes here and not in the bin#the last kingdom#tlk#tlk alfred
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met my friend's new dog for the second time today. I wanted to be friends but part of being a Person Who Animals Like is being patient when an animal Does Not Like You Yet. so instead we did this for like an hour
#doodle#me#she will get there. we made progress from ''barking at me'' to ''standing a distance away and neutrally looking at me'' so I'll take that#she also let me feed her a treat and very hesitantly allowed a headpat while sitting on my friend's lap#but she didn't want to approach me or be approached on her own#it's fine. she's a chihuahua. she was only adopted a couple months ago. it's like that sometimes. we'll be friends
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Journal, if found return to Michael Guerin or burn unread
☆☆☆
They think there’s aliens in our town.
Sometimes I can't bear to tell them they're wrong, to shut down all that naïve faith. Most of the time I'm annoyed at them, coming into a small hick town like ours and playing along with the cash grab, making it so much more than itself.
Sometimes I'm annoyed at you for the same reason.
☆☆☆
I've been thinking about my face. I think of how you used to hold it. Supported by a warm, dry palm, caged and stroked by stubby fingers too fragile for any real work on the farmland, too rough to be dainty. If we were laying down you'd go through my hair first, longer nails from a lazy month sent tingles down my scalp. Then you'd move on to the skin above my eyebrows, the bend of my nose, the dip of my mouth; anything you could see, you touched. I'd feel seen. Everyone sees the same face but you saw it best. You understood it.
What a horrible noise, the word understood. ‘I understand’ you said. I knew you did. I didn’t quite manage to wrangle down understanding up until recently. That’s what you see often, with terrible things. You don’t understand them until it’s another, worser world. (I know why you had to go, I understand I understand I understand) Then you’d give anything to go back.
If you thought I was asleep or you were feeling particularly brave, you'd kiss my forehead. You never strayed from that one firm kiss on the place I have now collected wrinkles. It's like you were embarrassed, even though you'd had your mouth on my dick hours before.
I get it though. You called me unkind once, ‘umempathetic’, you said, but if there's one thing I can understand effortlessly in others it's shame. That's why I know you never stopped feeling it, not really. It was the third person with us in bed. Maybe you thought I couldn't see it and I left you in that belief. Maybe we were too busy with being in love and each other. It was a full time job. It paid really fucking well. Healthcare was shit though.
I fucking miss you. I hope you die and come back to me. Or come back to me and die. Or be happy without me. I hope you’re miserable. I hope you’re banging some twink. I hope he robs you blind. I’ll pray for you next Sunday. It’s tomorrow. I hope I forget you tomorrow morning. I’ll jump in the creek one more time if it’ll wash me of the sin of your leaving. Or of you in general. Or of my dreams of you. Or my ease in indulging them nowadays. How you wore at me, even in your absence. If I saw you I think my life would end. A new one would start. I hope i never see you again. I miss myself when I was with you. I miss you. I fucking miss you.
They still think there’s aliens in our town. I think it’s your ghost. I think it’s me.
#roswell new mexico#roswell nm#michael guerin#alex manes#rnm fic#michael and alex#never seen this show#you know how sometimes you watch a random couple's compilation on a niche alien show you watched the first episode of and consequently#forgot about and then fall in love with their alex g level of loser angst#and then you write an angsty diary entry even though you could make out minimal plot beats from that compilation that let's be honest was a#kissing compilation and then you find it sitting on your laptop months later and you shrug and post it even though the fandom is dead#you know when that happens#anyway#angst
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my parents finally left. a long weekend spent drinking and sitting in silence because we have nothing to say to one another behind me. i would like to formally request to be taken out with an anvil
#nothing makes me hate myself more than having to sit and make conversation with my parents#if they’re being nice then they’re lying and if they’re yelling well…#it just sucks i know they hate me i wish they’d just officially let me go rather than carry out this whole charade every couple of months#personal
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I'm hesitant to outright promise anything, but I'm hoping to get to my owed replies sometime soon? At least the ones I owe for Ghost, anyway.
I'm also open to plot new threads for either Ghost or Rouxls! Admittedly, I'm not sure how much time I'll have to sit down and Discuss things this week, mind you, but I'm willing to give it a shot! Finishing my currently owed replies will have to take priority over writing any new starters or replies for new threads, though, since I've owed them for a frankly ridiculous amount of time and I feel really bad for putting them off for so long, but plotting and planning stuff is good!
#ooc#((i only have two owed replies for ghost))#((so the ''replying to old threads has to take priority over starting new ones right now'' isn't That big of a thing))#((aside from the fact that i am Very Very slow with writing))#((but yeah. ough. really didn't mean to let my threads sit for this long))#((during the school year it was fine since i was busy with uni but i've been on summer break for a couple months now dgdhsh))#((it's not even that i don't know how to reply. i have ideas and plans!! it's just a matter of sitting down and actually Writing))#((i guess it's because i expect my replies to end up being pretty long. so i expect them to take a long time to write))#((and that makes me hesitant to start writing and then i end up procrastinating for months :l ))#((the same thing has been happening with my more important headcanon posts for ghost and rouxls' bio page))#((since i expect them to be long and thus take a lot of time to write out))#((although those also have the added thing of ''if i'm going to write something long then it should be a reply to a thread''))#((anyway. i've been rambling fhdgshfs))#((plotting! feel free to message me if you wanna do that!))#((i can't guarantee i'll be online consistently but we could probably make things work))#((plus i tend to write fairly long messages when i'm coming up with ideas so there would be longish waits in between my messages regardless)#((dgdgshf))
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Hmm kinda wanna write a 00q fic in which Bond gets transformed into a cat (or he gets badly injured and his soul jumps into a cat idk) and naturally seeks out Q, the most cat person he knows. And so much of the fic is Bond discovering Q's work persona is just that--a facade he puts on to face the world and do his job well--and how little he cared to look until now. Hmm
#like i want a Q who is low key depressed and sometimes can't bring himself to get out of the bed on the weekends#and has nightmares and sometimes - and esp when they lose an agent -#sits and stares at a wall#that maybe his cats died a couple of months ago (mostly bc i dont want to write 3 cats lol) and bond didnt even know#but he does remember a day q yelled at him and he just chalked it up to him being cranky#and i want like a bond who IS cranky abt being a cat#and feeling so many things he no longer can express#nonetheless making a fool of himself playing with some toy mouse#bc it makes q smile#i want him to wake q up at 6am to ask for food just bc he wants to be a bastard#and his initial desire to keep his dignity and space#getting tossed out the window after a bad mission#when he does sidle up to q and lets himself get pet and purrs#and q is so happy! and god it feels so good for bond too#i want like shared naps#and bond watching q get naked so he can ogle once again with no shame#and doing his best to chase a hook up away#hmm#00q#fic ideas
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Hmmm lungs and throat pain. Don't like that.
#I stg if my mom actually has covid and gave it to me I'm going to be so fucking pissed#She's like oooohhh no it's just a sinus infection well girl I did not want that either!!!!#Grumble grumble I'm really annoyed I wanted to sleep in today and I woke up bc of the pain#Cruddy rambles#I wear a mask every time I go outside but EVERY TIME one of my parents gets sick guess who also gets sick!!!!#And guess who don't wear masks!! That's right... My parents!#I have not brought a single sickness into this house since I started masking. Meanwhile whenever either of them gets sick I'm always the#One who catches it a couple days after. It's miserable#I also go outside Very Rarely. My dad works in an office and my mom goes to the gym every single day except the weekends#And neither of them mask anymore. They genuinely don't give a fuck.#And it pisses me the hell off. Not only am I getting sick bc of it (and ofc usually worse than them) but that's a blatant disregard for#Literally everyone around them. And my mom had BEEN immunocompromised before. She just doesn't care about other ppl ig#Meanwhile at dinner last night my dad is like 'oyeah my coworker has had the flu for *ninety days* they dunno what's wrong with him'#And it doesn't click in his tiny fucking pea brain that hey. Dont fucking risk taking that here (bc he caught it from his niece apparently)#Granted my dad's probably lying bc that's what he Does TM but like. If he's not? Way to be a dumbass. Idiot.#And my mom is like 'oh yeah the gym owners bring their kid to the gym whenever he gets out of daycare for being sick and I love kids so I'm#Always going up to him like hi!!' and I'm sitting at the table like 'so. Let me get this straight. You knew you were probably gonna catch#His cold/whatever and you still went up to him without a mask or anything on' fucking brilliant aren't these two#YES I'm annoyed I'm sick I had Shit To Do this week. Fucks sake. I limit the amount I go out for leisure to like 1x a month and always mask#Meanwhile these assholes are going out and spreading disease like its NBD#Like what is the point of me even bothering when I live with these two. I still will but like. It feels so bleak#Eventually one of them is gonna catch covid and bring it here. They don't care about quarantining. Is it just going to be an endless cycle#Until eventually one of us finally gets unlucky and is hospitalized or dies? Like I genuinely don't know what it would take to get them to#Actually give a shit anymore. It's infuriating#I try to talk to them and they just laugh at me and shake their heads when I mask and tell me I look stupid and paranoid now#Maybe you should be fucking paranoid!!! FUCK!!#Why do I have to be sick because of your fucking negligence it's not *fair*.#I close my eyes and because I just slept the background radiation of my consciousness won't dissipate enough for me to fall back to sleep#Screams
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i dont really recommend making a snowman and taking pictures of it in the middle of a storm while youre sick, but look how cute they came out!
#snarf#lemme tell you#when i decided to forgive myself and let myself have the childhood i never got#my mental health improved a LOT#ive had a rough couple of months#having moments i can just sit and play webkinz after being at work or just having a bad day#literally getting all the pet medallions for the snowy retriver is whats getting me#up in the morning 😭😭😭#there also aint much better than being curled up under two blankets with a heating pad at your desk#kicking absolute ASS at lunch letters
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there's nothing like answering asks one month late am i right kids. i said am i right kids. am i righ
#star.txt#ajksdgdjfghfjfh i was like 'oh its a couple weeks late nbd we've all been there' babes the time stamp says ONE MONTH.#she says HONEY. U FAILED. like ok got it. akdhdfjfhf#ANYWAYS IF U SENT ME AN ASK N THE PAST ~ONE MONTH~ I SUPPOSE. I AM VERY SORRY.#if u have never noticed my blog runs on a queue and i FILL that bitch so it sits at 1k posts when i log on and sometimes im still online#but tbh most of the time i check notifs and the top like 6 posts on my dash and then log off lol#ESPECIALLY if i am very busy#so. what im saying is. i promise i am never ignoring u if u send me an ask or a message and i dont answer u for a HOT second. i may just be#dying irl or whatever. and letting my queue run. but ill be back <3.......EVENTUALLY.... even if its o n e m o n t h#😭😭😭#mine#ANYWAYS TIME 2 GET CRACKALAKIN I SUPPOSE
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i did the biggest and scariest of the things on my list (the last thign on my list in fact) and it took like. MAYBE 5 minutes total including login time navigation and page loading.
now i get to have fancy Oreo Poptarts because i'm a big strong boy whose knee is slightly dislocated (it's fine i just went too hard and i'll wrap it up here in a minute) and did a big scary thing and also now gets to fully devote brain power to anxiety about the (potential) hole between two of my heart chambers and the accompanying doctor's appointment tomorrow morning.
#the lack of anxiety about this has been so bad i don't even have my alarms set and for every other dr appointment previously#i had those bitches up a week ahead of time as soon as they reminded me about my upcoming appointment#anyway it's fine it's all fine i'm going to be fine i'll figure it all out please just don't let me lose my health insurance because i move#i shouldn't but. i fear.#and boy howdy i'm good at one particular thing and that thing is being afeared about things#oh sure my knees are fine for years while i have 3 available knee braces#i pare down to one really solid one with intentions to grab a second at some point in the distant future#and i'm feeling froggy right i'm feeling good everything is a-okie dokie so i lend my remaining knee brace out to my partner for moving shi#(cross country long haul style and they're gonna need it because heavy lifting)#forgetting of course that i'm heading into the part of the month where my joint stability (already tenuous) is reduced even further#thanks estrogen! hhhhhhhh#and i keep doing Up And Downs with squats and kneeling#thankfully it's the knee i call my bad knee even if it's both of them relatively equally nowadays#so i'm used to it being unstable and not great to stand on (and then do it anyway)#i'm mainly trying to keep an eye on it and make sure it doesn't swell up real bad like it did the first time i fucked it#when it earned the moniker of ''bad knee'' out of the two i've got#garrett's knee is fine right now but i'll probably end up bracing it when this one goes back to normal for the compensation i'm doing on it#ohhh bottle of naproxen we're really in it now#thank god it's workable though like so long as i'm In One Position and i don't sit with my leg folded up underneath me it's fine#it means i have fewer Gay And Neurodivergent ways to sit than normal but like i'll deal lmao#i just have to get through tomorrow and then i can rest the whole rest of the week until the move crew gets back up here#and then we will help with this#i'm really grumpy the thing i put off for weeks took like. a couple of clicks and a real quick county check#i really anticipated that being a longer process
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The girl I have to sit next to at work is doing my absolute tits in. I have never met anyone so bossy and controlling and nosy in my whole life.
#i've only been here a couple of months but i'm looking for other jobs#she's too difficult and my manager said not to let her boss me about#why can't she sit there and be quiet like i'm doing and get on with jobs
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