#la femme gentleman
Text
3 years after my Unleash the Magic cover hit 48k views, I’m publishing a Tricks up my Sleeve cover !
https://youtu.be/eudKkmLBc4M
This one’s for my fellow MLP/Equestria Girls fans out there. Y’all the real deal.
#mlp#my little pony#equestria girls#unleash the magic#tricks up my sleeve#trixie#twilight sparkle#cover#song#song cover#artist#la femme gentleman#music video#cartoon#hasbro
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Thanks for tagging me @little-desi-historian! ❤️
YES, all of this takes me back to something I wanted to touch a lot more on in my original post when it comes to the historical male image, Percy, Lestat, and Matadors; because it truly does link back to how AMC is playing with dandyism and society's expectations about effeminate men.
Dandyism is a form of resistance culture. As I've said before, Lestat flouts gender norms because HE CAN do whatever he wants & get away with it. His androgyny's on a different level: effeminate or masculine, he's still a vampire, a SUPERnatural creature elevated beyond the bounds of social mores that determine what men & women could or SHOULD act/dress like. MANY people across social media have pointed to Lestat's limp wrists, long blonde "Barbie" hair and ESPECIALLY him dressing in drag in Ep7 as proof that he's the "wife/mother/woman/femme fatale" in Lousta's relationship, and THEN claim its either gender essentialism or homophobic/racist to say Louis is CANONICALLY female-coded one in BOTH the books and show (as AR said so). But no, Lestat in drag was a power move, because he doesn't care what anyone thinks/says/does--he'll just eat them. Mockingly eating the baby in a dress was a deliberate bastardization of motherhood/womanhood. Louis is called every homophobic name in the book by those expecting the black man to just take being insulted, but MARQUIS de Lioncourt DEMANDS being crowned KING of Mardi Gras, Krewe of Raj, & he'll show you exactly what he thinks about your silly homophobic hypocritical human society: You're just "the MEAT," let them eat KING Cake--you're his FOOD. Eff y'all, I'm dressed to KILL you, & laugh doing it.
Lestat's behavior is not only derived from the time period he was born & raised in (the Rococo era of so-called "effeminate" high class dandies--a la Percy Blakeney, etc). Lestat is the embodiment of PRIVILEGE: a powerful rich white male vampire, who leans into being foreign/French White to excuse anything he does that people find strange/off/unnatural/dangerous--all the red flags. 🚩🚩🚩
And red flags brings me directly back to matadors/toreros.
@toscrollperchancetomeme
😂 TYSM! Sam Reid dropped so many juicy deets; I couldn't resist! There's so much depth to the Matador outfit, beyond the gendered aspect of bullfighting that I discussed before. Let's go back to what Sam said about Lestat, and delve deeper into matadors:
The most iconic apparel worn by toreros ("bullfighters") / matador de toros ("killer of bulls") in Spanish bullfighting is the Traje de Luces, the "Suit of Lights." The colors are usually bright & vivid, as part of the showmanship & pizzazz. Darker palettes are less common, as shiny sequins (the luces/lights) became part of the standard fit.
However, Lestat's all-black Matador outfit from what Sam called the "villain sequence" in Ep5 seems to be loosely following the style of a different but very closely related outfit, the Traje Campero "Rural/Countryside Suit" aka Traje Corto ("Short Suit").
(These costumes are typically worn during ceremonial parades and a very specific festival I'll get back to in a moment, cuz it's important.) Unlike the Suit of Light's sequins & silk, the Rural Suit is made of suede, leather, or velvet, in dark muted colors. The pants can be light or dark, striped & patterned, with or without chaps (also found in gentleman's uniforms of military officers and cowboys).
The trajes originated from "the flamboyant costumes of the 18th-century dandies and showmen involved in bullfighting, which later became exclusive to the bullfighting ritual." (Wikipedia)
The ancestor of both trajes (luces/campero) is traditional 17th-19th century Andalusian clothing (Andalusia being the home of Spanish bullfighting), closely associated with a very particular type of masculine dandyism. (The campero/corto is also the costume worn by Andalusian male flamenco dancers.)
"Before the 17th century the profession of bullfighting did not exist as such, and the fighters did not wear luxurious & shiny trajes de luces, but instead normal clothes of the time according to the social class to which the bullfighter belonged. The first bullfighter trajes de toreros appeared in the 17th century, when professional bullfighters from Navarre & Andalusia wore characteristic garments with their gangs to participate in performances and thus differentiate themselves from other bullfighter bands." (translated/truncated from Spanish website)
In the mid-1700s, Francisco Romero revolutionized professional bullfighting by establishing the first matadors who fought on foot, heroically fighting the bull face to face with swords & the muleta (iconic red flag) in a dance-like performance, dressed in a suede/velvet coleto (jacket), a precursor to the traje campero. Romero (from a carpenter family) wanted to show off & stand out from the nobility, and changed the game entirely, through a form of social resistance-turned-innovation.
"At that time, bullfighting on horseback was more important, which was considered a sport and not a show. Bullfighting on foot was not yet widely recognized." (translated from Spanish website)
Bull-killing on horseback was practiced by Spanish noblemen, attended by lower class assistants on foot. Romero was the first to make on-foot matadors the stars of what was increasingly becoming a dandified show/performance/dance. Matador Joaquin "Costillares" Rodríguez introduced even more showmanship, competing against Francisco Romero's grandson Pedro Romero (famously painted by Goya--bottom right).
For his matches, Costillares (middle) dressed in flashy silks, threaded in shiny silver braiding; the precursor to modern traje de luces. Like Francisco Romero (left), Costillares wanted to show off & stand out; and revolutionized the male image of the bullfighter through clothes.
In 18th-19th century Andalusian Spain there were 2 types of dandy: the French-imported upperclass petimetre (effeminate dandy), and the indigenous working class majo (masculine/macho dandy).
Noyes, Dorothy. “La Maja Vestida: Dress as Resistance to Enlightenment in Late-18th-Century Madrid.” The Journal of American Folklore 111, no. 440 (1998): 197–217. https://www.jstor.org/stable/541941
The majo, like many dandies, became the peak of Andalusian fashion, across all social classes; and torero/matador outfits weren't the only ones to take cues from them:
18th-19th century majos "distinguished themselves by their elaborate outfits and sense of style in dress and manners, as well as by their cheeky behavior. The majos outfits were exaggerations of traditional Spanish dress. The style stood in strong contrast to the French styles affected by many of the Spanish elite under the influence of the Enlightenment. Majos were known to pick fights with those they saw as afrancesados ("Frenchified" – fops)." (Wikipedia)
The majos' flamboyant/cheeky/saucy/exaggerated behavior was aggressively masculine; a lower/working class resistance to social mores imposed on them by (foreign) elites, whom they saw as more feminine, and FOUGHT against, to reaffirm their masculinity. These dandies were violent, brazen non-conformists; as beautiful & stylish as they were dangerous. And matadors/toreros knew that the bullfight was the perfect arena to exemplify the spirit of the majos through the dandified performance art/sport of killing bulls--a universal cultural symbol of masculine prowess & strength. Spanish bullfighting used to belong solely to the aristocratic equestrian sphere. Lowly pages/assistants like Francisco Romero (dressed in the precursor to the Rural/Countryside Suit), were the first to buck the system by killing bulls on foot--he likely didn't own a horse. The Romeros were from a carpenter family. Costillares was the son of a butcher. But through bullfighting they gained social status and became icons of masculinity--and dandies.
Lestat--the nouveau riche son of a poor country marquis--insists on being all the beautiful things he is without apology: masculine & effeminate alike. But like I said, it was no coincidence that Carol likened Lestat's Ep5 villain outfit with matadors--he's fighting Louis for dominance in their household, and reaffirming his place at the top of their very gendered social hierarchy, as a warning to BOTH "the housewife" AND "the prodigal daughter" he feels are threatening his authority as their Maker, so he defeats them BOTH.
Carol Cutshall initially designed Lestat's matador pants as pajamas--loungewear. (Lestat's CASUAL & comfortable in his ability to KILL--matador means "Killer" in Spanish--and remember what I said about Louis & Claudia being put on the same parallel level in Ep5, when Claudia's attacked by "Killer" aka Bruce.) Sam said Carol made several versions of the pants; and yup, they're foreshadowed in Ep5 when Lestat first starts arguing about Louis' depression, then they pop up again in Ep7 during the Murder Plot--two instances @dwreader brilliantly linked Lestat (& Stanley Kowalski) wearing wifebeaters. (Listen, Carol, I just wanna talk.... 😅🔫)
And here's my last points about Lestat's matador outfit. First there's the irony of Lestat (who grew up poor in rural France) wearing the something very similar to the matador/torero's Rural Suit, traje campero (aka Short Suit (traje corto)). But what's more interesting is that that type of Short/Rural Suit is usually only worn during special festivals called the Tienta ("trials"), not the regular corrida ("bullfights").
These Tienta are trials for young and immature bulls to be tested in the ring, to see if they're fit for breeding/fighting. 🤯 FLEDGLINGS. And who's Lestat's young bull? "Built-like-a-bird" Claudia. Who's the immature bull? The "biggest rat eater of them all," the under-developed "botched" vampire Louis. During these trials, veteran matadors can show off their skills; and novice bullfighters are shown the ropes and prove themselves. Like I said: the matador wins again.
God, even the way Lestat dragged Louis' bloody body out of the courtyard by the jaw/neck resembles the way the defeated bull--bled out & stabbed in the neck--is dragged by the neck out of the ring.
And remember what I said about Lestat and FOOD. Cuz what happens to the bulls after the matadors kill them? They're sent to the slaughterhouse to be butchered for FOOD. People EAT the bulls.
So yeah, my whole point in this post and my first one is not to sleep on guys like Lestat, Percy--or even other famous dandies like Valmont from Dangerous Liasions/Cruel Intentions (mentioned by both @little-desi-historian and @dwreader)--just because they're effeminate--especially when they're emulating mannerisms from a time period where the model of what made a fashionable gentlemen/good breeding/elite society did NOT match modern expectations about gender. People are getting distracted by Lestat's yaasified manner, not what the show itself is signalling through the relationships he has with others.
This show is deliberately painting Lestat as a villain through Louis' & Claudia's perspectives, as they were the ones who suffered under his Reign of Terror. The symbolism behind the matador-inspired costume used in Ep5 reflected gendered social hierarchies embedded within bullfighting culture (in Spain, women only started being allowed to fight in the 19th-20th centuries). Dressed in clothes resembling that of a matador, Lestat beating & defeating Louis mirrored the defeat of the emasculated bull, and the reification of the victor's masculine prowess at the top of the foodchain.
#the vampire lestat#lestat de lioncourt#male fashion#fashion history#gender inequality#read a dang history book#operation matador#iwtv tvc metas
359 notes
·
View notes
Text
16 types as tvtropes
Anachronic Order – entp
The Scrappy – istp
Sissy Villain – enfp
Simple, yet Opulent – infj
Kicking Ass in All Her Finery – estj
Femme Fatale – entj
The Cynic – intj
Played for Laughs – entp
Knight in Shining Armor – enfj
Innocently Insensitive – esfp
Sociopathic Hero – istp
Ethical Slut – isfp
Laughably Evil – entp
What Kind Of Lame Power Is Heart Anyway – estp
Groin Attack – esfp
I don't sweat, I sparkle - esfj
Coup de Grâce – entj
Hasta la Vista, Baby - istp
The Rival – extp
Loophole Abuse – entp
Little Miss Badass – isfp
Jerk with a Heart of Gold – esfp
love conquers all - infp
Defiant to the End – extp
don't underestimate me! - isfp
the road less traveled - infp
Eviler Than Thou – entj
Well-Intentioned Extremist – entp
Cloudcuckoolander - infp
Double Entendre – enfp
the beauty of imperfection - infp
i've got a hunch - infj
It's Not a Bug; It's a Feature - intp
I'll Be Back! - intj
make love, not war - infp
no risk, no reward - esxp
Keep Your Friends Close, But Your Enemies Closer - entj
Brilliant But Lazy – intp
My God, What Have I Done? – isfj
hidden heart of gold - ixtj
save your excuses - isfp
Took a Level in Cynic – infj
all you need is love - infp
the stoic - istp
Laughs at The Funeral – entp
You Are the Chosen One - infj
Gosh Dang It to Heck! – esfj
Unkempt Beauty – istp
I can't lose him again - infp
The Nicknamer – entp
Didnt Think This Through – esfp
To Be or Not to Be - infj
Heroic Comedic Sociopath – entp
the lone wolf - istp
i see beauty in everything - infp
the unfettered - entj
I've Got a Feeling We're Not in Kansas Anymore - esfp
Take Me Instead – enfj
Badass Pacifist – isfj
i have a theory… - intp
eternal optimist - esfj
butt-monkey - infp
May the Force Be With You - infj
dare to dream! - enfj
Dissonant Serenity – infj
stir the pot - entp
Broken Record – istj
adventure awaits! - esfp
You're Either With Us or Against Us - entj
Practical Joke – esxp
Lovable Rogue – entp
Asshole Victim – ixtj
jovial cynic - entp
mellow perfectionist - isfp
balanced extremist - intp
practical dreamer - infj
diplomatic rebel - enfj
efficient procrastinator - intj
sensitive tough guy - istp
reserved entertainer - enfp
carefree worrier - infj
serene firecracker - esfj
independent team player - entj
reckless strategist - istp
Damsel In Distress – infp
Technical Pacifist – intj
Pun – intp
If You Kill Him, You Will Be Just Like Him! – infp
Pimped Out Dress – xsfp
Come with Me If You Want to Live – infj
Dont You Dare Pity Me – intj
Believing Their Own Lies – enfp
Harmless Villain – intp
Distracted by My Own Sexy – esfp
the snark knight - entj
Chronic Hero Syndrome – infj
Adorkable – enfp
Scoundrel – extp
Face Death With Dignity – istp
The Unironic Badass – istp
Leeroy Jenkins – esfp
expect the unexpected - entp
Gentleman Thief – enfj
Rage Quit – entp
Dramatic Irony – infj
Berserk Button – entj
Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass – esfp
see legendary version @ demonwindu.wordpress.com
#16 types#socionics#mbti#personality types#jungian typology#infp#enfp#entp#infj#istj#isfj#intp#estp#esfp#esfj#estj
36 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chapter Ten
Lee Bodecker (The Devil All The Time) x Femme Reader
A year after the sudden death of your husband you find yourself at a loose end, unsure what to do next. You're also learning about your sexuality - your hidden desires and fantasies creeping out now you're no longer playing the role of the good wife. A certain Sheriff in town could be the one to awaken something in you.
Series Masterlist
Chapter 11
Warnings: Violence/murder, references to sexual assault
"So how did these guys look suspicious?" asked Davey in a hushed tone as he surveyed the bank of the creek with his flashlight. He'd arrived promptly on the scene, only moments after Lee. Always the dutiful employee.
Lee had led him into the darkness of the creek, insisting this had been the direction he'd seen the phantom men go. They were exploring the woods alongside the banks with flashlights, but of course there had been no sign of anyone.
"You know the type" replied Lee quietly. "They were talkin' real close, and one of them kept clutching his pocket and looking over his shoulder. And you know nothin' good is happening at the creek at this time of night". He lied effortlessly, his hand skimming the hidden firearm he had tucked into the back of his pants and disguised under his jacket.
Davey nodded. "I can't see nobody, but let's keep checkin' it out."
"Maybe they heard us and skedaddled" Lee said thoughtfully. "But let's go just a bit further to be sure".
Lee lead the way, drawing Davey further into the night as they walked along the water's edge. He made a big show of shining the flashlight through the trees and leaning down as if trying to catch glimpses of something in the bushes. The only sound was the steady trickle of the stream beneath them.
After getting to almost the centre of the woods, Lee sighed heartily. "I guess we lost them. Sorry to drag ya all the way out here, Davey".
Davey shrugged and waved a hand dismissively. 'No big deal, boss. I wasn't doing nothin' anyways". He smiled cordially, despite the darkness the two men were backlit by the moonlight. Lee could see his deputy's face perfectly.
"Yeah the nights can be like that" said Lee. "Sometimes you're up to your guts in brawls and car accidents, other times you're wonderin' if you should knock one out in the station bathroom to kill some time" he chuckled.
Davey laughed enthusiastically. "You ain't wrong there, Sheriff".
"I'm sorry you've done more than your fair share of nights lately, Davey. Your pretty little wife must be missin' you".
Davey chuckled again. "She's a good girl, she understands that my job is what puts food on the table. And a little absence never hurt nobody, right Sheriff?"
"That's right" replied Lee curtly as he made his way over the mossy ground, leading the way. He had been wearing his mask successfully so far, but now the big moment was nearing he found his anger bubbling to the surface. He clenched his fists as images of your battered body ran through his mind.
"Besides" continued Davey. "There are often a lot of sweet young things out at night to keep me distracted".
Lee's head whipped backwards to face Davey. "Yeah, like who?" he questioned.
"Oh you know who the types I mean" Davey replied with a smirk. "Ladies of the night. And the druggy gals at the edge of town desperate for their next fix. Eager to please for a few bucks. I know you're well acquainted, Sheriff".
Not anymore, thought Lee. Not now he had you.
Lee nodded. "Anyone else?" he asked, his rising anger now peeking out.
"Well actually, just last night. I pulled over a real good time gal" continued Davey.
"Yeah? Who was that?" asked Lee through gritted teeth. His eyes were looking forward again now, he couldn't risk Davey seeing his rage until Lee was ready.
"Oh a gentleman never tells. But let's just say what the wife don't know can't hurt her, huh?".
Lee realised his balled up fists were now shaking. "You have fun?"
He could feel the cool metal of the hidden gun against his skin.
"Oh boy, did we" laughed Davey. "She was playin' hard to get. Those prissy ones often do, tryna show she's a lady y'know? Gotta put up a fight to show she's respectable, not easy, blah blah blah. But I know different."
Lee took a deep breath. He thought about your bruised face as you cowered from him in the hallway.
"Her husband ain't round no more. So what choice did I have, boss? Can't let a premium cunt like that just sit around unused. She was beggin' for it and she didn't even know it. Don't worry I gave it to her like she wanted. Stupid whore apparently skipped work today, that's how good she got it".
Davey's laughter was cut off abruptly as Lee turned to him, swiping the gun from his pants and brandishing it in Davey's face in a single movement. As Davey tried to comprehend what was happening, he could see a look of pure hatred spread across his boss' features, the veins in his forehead practically throbbing. As terrifying as the gun was, it was the iciness of the man's cold blue eyes which triggered a wave of nausea in Davey's stomach.
"Sheriff – wha?" started Davey.
"You better shut your mouth if you know what's good for ya, boy" spat Lee, cocking the weapon.
Davey raised his arms above his head in surrender, shaking. "Sheriff...I'm sorry. What did I...please Sheriff. Don't do this" he spluttered, his eyes filling with tears.
Lee rolled his eyes. "At least take it like a man, son. And drop your weapon".
Davey nodded frantically, hands shaking as he removed his gun from its holster and dropped it to the ground. "I'm sorry Lee...Sheriff...Sir...whatever you need me to do. I'll do it alright? Anything. Please. My wife...".
"Funny...you didn't seem to care much about your wife a moment ago, Davey".
Davey began to sob. "Lee...I'm sorry. Is this about my wife? I don't mean it, boss. I don't. I love her. I won't ever do it again Lee, I promise. The girl last night was just a dumb whore, it didn't mean nothin' " he cried, unaware he was signing his own death warrant.
"Don't talk about her like that!" snarled Lee. He pressed the barrel of the gun to Davey's forehead.
Davey gasped, the penny finally dropping as to what this was all about.
"S-Sheriff" he stuttered, his eyes flicking between Lee and the barrel against his face. "You sweet on her, Lee? God I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Oh fuck. Lee. I didn't know. I never would've touched her if I knew. I swear. She threw herself at me, honest. Oh god. Please, Sheriff. Please".
Davey's sobbing turned into long drawn out whimpers. His face was a mess of tears and snot.
"I seen her, Davey" Lee responded calmly. "I seen how you left her. The bruises, the cuts, the dried blood. I've seen all of it. She can't sleep. Can't eat. Can barely walk. You're an animal, Davey. I can't in good conscience leave the women of this town at your mercy, can I?"
Davey let out a low whine as Lee pushed the gun harder against his head, leaving a impression of the barrel in his flushed skin. He sounded more like a wounded animal than a man.
"Do you fuck your wife like that Davey? Huh? You get off on that, do ya? Make you feel like a man?" Lee demanded.
Davey shook his head, now crying hysterically.
Lee could feel his dick beginning get hard, drunk on the power.
"I'm s-sorry. So sorry" wailed Davey. "I t-t-thought she liked it. Please, Lee. Please. I understand, but think of my wife. She doesn't deserve this."
Lee thought carefully. Davey was right, his wife was innocent in this. But then he thought of you again. He thought of you meekly creeping around your own home, stumbling up the stairs and groaning in pain. He thought of the difference between this version of you and the one he'd taken across the cruiser. The sparkle in your eyes, once electric and effervescent, now dulled, afraid.
He also thought about Davey's hands on you. The arrogance of helping himself to your body, of tasting you, of taking what was rightfully Lee's. Davey wasn't worthy of you. Lee was self-aware enough to know this wasn't just about justice for you, for avenging you, righting your wrong. It was, of course. But it was also about him. It was about Davey daring to take you from him. Sullying you. Damaging you. Marking you. He was effectively trespassing. And Lee had no tolerance for trespassers.
"I'm sorry, Lee" Davey said quietly, his voice hoarse from crying. "I will apologise to her. It'll never happen again. Never. Please. I won't tell nobody, I promise".
"You shouldn't have touched what's mine, Davey" said Lee.
Davey nodded. "You're right. I didn't know Lee, I didn't know".
"You know how I get about people touching my things, Davey".
Lee nodded even more desperately. "I learnt my lesson, Sheriff. I have".
Lee smiled, withdrawing the gun from Davey. Clapping a friendly hand on his shoulder.
Davey's face flooded with relief, Lee could see his entire body relax.
"Thank-you Sheriff...thank-".
The gunshot was loud, briefly illuminating the pair in a brilliant flash of light. But nobody else was around to hear or see it. Davey's face momentarily contorted in surprise, a drop of blood dripping down his nose from the new hole in his forehead. His body crumpled like a paper bag, clumsily collapsing into the creek with a loud splash. The current made quick work of dragging him along and carrying him downstream. Lee figured he'd wash up in a neighbouring town in a day or two.
He kicked Davey's discarded weapon into the creek, then did the same with the dropped flashlight. In mere seconds it was as if Davey had never been there at all.
Lee yawned, stretching and making his way back to the cruiser. Davey's wife would probably think he'd gone drinking somewhere when he didn't turn up in the early hours. She would report him missing in the morning when she realised his side of the bed remained unslept in. Lee saw Davey at the station before he clocked out for the night of course, so something must've happened on his way home. Lee wasn't working until tomorrow afternoon, but would play his role of Sheriff concerned about his missing deputy once he clocked back in. He'd console poor Mrs Davey, he'd be sure deputy Davey would turn up. They'd do everything they could. A sensitive subject, but did Mrs Davey know about her husband's weakness for lady streetwalkers? She didn't? Oh, he was sorry. This must be so hard. Maybe he got in trouble with a pimp. Maybe not. They'd look into every possible avenue.
And so forth.
Lee smiled, thinking about how happy you'd be that Davey was no longer a problem. He told you he'd fix it and he did. He'd always fix it for you.
🌼
Across town, you suddenly woke up with a jolt. Your limbs aching at the sudden movement. You felt a chill, despite the heavy blankets enveloping you. Were you having a nightmare? No. Something else. Something very bad had happened. Worse than last night. You didn't know what it was, but you knew you were scared.
#ee bodecker x reader#sheriff lee bodecker#lee bodecker#lee bodecker x you#lee bodecker x female reader#Awakened fic
7 notes
·
View notes
Text
03 / 04 / 2024
🇬🇧🇺🇸 ENGLISH / ANGLAIS 🇺🇸🇬🇧
GAME WITH AN HISTORICAL CHARACTER #3 : Georges Villiers, Duke of Buckingham
George Villiers (1592-1628), first Duke of Buckingham, is an English gentleman, favorite of the Kings of England James I Stuart and Charles I. He became rich, arrogant, influential, manipulative, authoritarian. But he was also popular with the people (before the people turned against him), ambitious, very elegant and of immense beauty, which is the characteristic that we remember most about him.
Indeed, all his contemporaries, including his many enemies, considered him the best dressed and most physically handsome man on the entire planet! Tall, muscular, beautiful, impeccably styled brown/brown hair, piercing eyes, hot lips, glowing skin: he appealed to both men and women, but the only two men who were his lovers were Kings James I and his son Charles I of England (otherwise he had a wife and mistresses).
If he really had an important political role in England at the beginning of the 17th century, he remains best known in France and throughout the world thanks to his role as lover of Anne of Austria (wife of Louis XIII, King of France) in The Three Musketeers by Alexandre Dumas (1844). This role as lover of Queen Anne and enemy of France in this novel has allowed him to be transposed to the screen in various ways. I chosed a few of them, generally the most famous.
The question I ask you at the end of this article is the following: who is your favorite actor who played Georges Villiers, Duke of Buckingham, in audiovisual fiction? The criteria are his beauty, his acting, his participation in the history of the movie / tv series / musical in which he appears...
If there are other versions that I haven't mentioned, or if you don't If you were unable to vote after the final result of the game, do not hesitate to write your answer in comments or messages.
For each of the versions chosen, I write you my personal opinion, and wherever possible I have provided you with a video giving you an overview of the character.
---------------------------------------------------
🇨🇵 FRANÇAIS / FRENCH 🇨🇵
JEU AVEC UN PERSONNAGE HISTORIQUE
Georges Villiers (1592-1628), premier Duc de Buckingham, est un gentilhomme anglais, favori des Rois d'Angleterre Jacques Ier Stuart et Charles Ier. Il est devenu riche, arrogant, influent, manipulateur, autoritaire.
Mais il était aussi populaire auprès du peuple (avant que le peuple ne se retourne contre lui), ambitieux, très élégant et d'une immense beauté, ce qui est la caractéristique que l'on retient le plus chez lui : tous ses contemporains, y compris ses nombreux ennemis, le considéraient comme l'homme le mieux habillé et le plus beau physiquement de toute la planète ! Grand, musclé, de beaux cheveux châtains / bruns impeccablement coiffés, des yeux perçants, des lèvres pulpeuses, une peau éclatante : il plaisait aux hommes et aux femmes, mais les deux seuls hommes qui furent ses amants sont les rois Jacques Ier et Charles Ier d'Angleterre (sinon, il avait une femme et des maîtresses).
S'il a véritablement eu un rôle politique important en Angleterre au début du XVII ème siècle, il reste surtout connu en France et dans le Monde grâce à son rôle d'amant d'Anne d'Autriche (épouse du Roi Louis XIII de France) dans Les Trois Mousquetaires d'Alexandre Dumas (1845). Ce rôle d'amant de la Reine Anne et d'ennemi de la France dans ce roman lui a valu d'être transposé à l'écran de diverses manières.
J'ai choisi quelques unes d'entre elles, généralement les plus connus. La question que je vous pose à la fin de cet article est la suivante : qui est votre acteur préféré ayant incarné Georges Villiers, Duc de Buckingham, dans la fiction audiovisuelle ? Les critères sont sa beauté, son jeu d'acteur, sa participation à l'histoire de l'œuvre où il apparaît...
S'il y a d'autres versions que je n'ai pas mentionné, ou si vous n'avez pas pu voter après le résultat final du jeu, n'hésitez pas à écrire votre réponse en commentaires ou messages.
Pour chacune des versions choisies, je vous écrit mon avis personnel, et dans la mesure du possible je vous ai mis une vidéo vous donnant un aperçu du personnage.
---------------------------------------------------
1) JOHN SUTTON in THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1948) by Georges Sidney (the version with Gene Kelly as D'Artagnan).
I dont like his costumes that much, and John Sutton is a little too old looking, but that makes a contrast with the Queen Anne and he is very imposing and manly.
---------------------------------------------------2) SIMON WARD in THE THREE MUSKETEERS (1973)
For me, Simon Ward is the closest to what I imagine the Duke of Buckingham to be. He is tall and very handsome, imposing but not violent, elegant but not effeminate, cold without being devoid of charisma... He has very beautiful costumes and I really like his hair.
An extract of the fight between Duke of Buckingham and d'Artagnan in the movie. ⬇️
youtube
---------------------------------------------------
3) ORLANDO BLOOM in THE THREE MUSKETEERS (2011)
Orlando Bloom is the least like the Duke of Buckingham in the novel and the real story, but he is one of the most original and complex. Well, complex, not really. Let's say instead that it is precisely the fact of being different from the other Buckinghams that makes him memorable.
Here, he is the villain of the story, even more disturbing than Cardinal of Richelieu. Moreover, he is not the lover of Queen Anne of Austria. However, he retains the characteristics of the Duke of Buckingham: he is a handsome, tall, muscular man, elegant and refined (his sense of fashion is a comic relief of the film), friendly but also virile and combative. In addition to his beauty I like him for being funny and a competitive fighter.
Plus, it's really offbeat to see Orlando Bloom in this role, so unusual for him, that the film is worth watching just for him (it's still a good film apart from that).
I told you why i love Orlando Bloom here ⬇️
_________________________________________
4) WILLIAM MILLER in the tv series EL CAPITAN (2015)
The EL CAPITAN series is an adaptation of a Spanish novel about a vigilante at the beginning of the 17th century. The series adds the real episode of the almost secret embassy of the Duke of Buckingham in Spain, who accompanied the Prince of Wales, future King Charles I, to ask for the hand of the Infanta Maria-Anna, sister of King Philip IV of Spain.
In the series, the Duke of Buckingham is a tall, virile, bearded and muscular man.
His protective attitude towards Prince Charles, portrayed as a cute young man, gives him a bisexual attractiveness. Here, Buckingham is arrogant and capricious but this makes him imposing and dominant. If some of the costumes are not very historical, it certainly gives William Miller a powerful appearance with its long coats, hats and furs.
This YouTube channel has published the series, but it's in French though
_________________________________________
5) GOLAN YOSEF in the musical LES TROIS MOUSQUETAIRES (The Three Musketeers)
The singer Golan Yosef is one of the most handsome Duke of Buckingham, we feel his love for Queen Anne (played by the French singer Victoria). He doesn't appear much but is nonetheless a good character.
In addition, he is objectively handsome: tall (but not very muscular) with beautiful hair.
Golan Yosef is the only version where the Duke seems younger than the Queen Anne (which shows that society seems to accept that a young man can love a woman older than him).
I had already talked about Yolan Gosef in this article on my opinion about the musical (2016), which is here ⬇️
In this video you will see behind the scenes of the show.
youtube
Golan Yosef uploaded the songs he performs in the musical to his YouTube channel.
youtube
---------------------------------------------------
6) JACOB FORTUNE-LLOYD in LES TROIS MOUSQUETAIRES - D'ARTAGNAN (2023) and LES TROIS MOUSQUETAIRES - MILADY (2024) (the most recent adaptations of the novel)
Jacob Forune-Lloyd is an handsome man, and his english accent when he speaks French is sexy. But his character is badly written, as if he wasn't interesting enough for the director. He is sexy and dominant but his costumes are not elegant on him and i don't like his beard. His attitude is hot, not his body
The actor who is more gorgeous is François Civil, one of the most handsome French actor of nowadays. I talked about him here:
---------------------------------------------------
7) NICOLAS GALITZINE in MARY AND GEORGES (2023)
The most recent version, the most famous version. The magnificent Nicholas Galitzine is the youngest actor to play Duke George Villiers of Buckingham.
The series in which he plays him is also the first work to be devoted directly to this character. In MARY AND GEORGES, he is the protagonist, with his mother Mary Villiers played by Julianne Moore.
This is the first time that the homosexuality of George Villiers de Buckingham is openly represented on screen, showing that he was the lover of King James I of England, who was gay (he was later that of his successor Charles I).
In addition to the undeniable immense beauty of the actor Nicholas Galitzine, the Duke of Buckingham in this series is sexy, dominant, has sublime costumes, seems arrogant and ambitious with his eternal pedantic smile.
The explicit sexual scenes with King James I make this couple very cute, despite the age gap: King James I nicknamed Georges Villiers "my son" to show that he was his protector, and "my husband" for him remember that he was his “wife” and therefore his inferior in the couple (but not in the social hierarchy).
I am convinced that this series will have a lasting impact on the way the character of Duke Georges Villiers is represented, and I am happy to live in a time where the homosexuality of certain historical figures are finally shown on screen (and disappointed that some are see wokism when it is a very probable historical reality).
I'll soon publish a Man of the Day article about Nicholas Galitzine to tell why i love him
Here are my others games about historical figures, and i intend to publish new ones
#Youtube#History#Histoire#King#Roi#James I#Nicholas Galitzine#Mary and George#George Villiers#Buckingham#Film#Série#Série télévisée#TV series#Link#Sondage#Question#Jeu#Game#Actor#Acteur#Bel homme#Beauté masculine#Male beauty#Beautiful man#Orlando Bloom#Golan Yosef#Mousquetaires#French
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
My (somewhat unhinged) tierlist of Arsène Lupin books and (even more unhinged) thoughts on them
S-tier: L’Aiguille creuse, 813, Le Bouchon de cristal, La Comtesse de Cagliostro, L’Agence Barnett et Cie, La Demeure mystérieuse, La Barre-y-va
A-tier: Arsène Lupin gentleman-cambrioleur, Les Huits Coups de l’horloge, La Cagliostro se venge, Les Milliards d’Arsène Lupin
B-tier: Arsène Lupin contre Herlock Sholmès, L’Île aux trente cercueils, Les Dents du tigre, Victor de la Brigade mondaine, Le Dernier Amour d’Arsène Lupin
C-tier: Les Confidences d’Arsène Lupin, L’Éclat d’obus, La Demoiselle aux yeux verts, La Femme aux deux sourires
D-tier: Le Triangle d’or
My reasonings and thoughts are under the cut because they got exceedingly long and rambly. I started off trying to be sensible but it appears I progressively lost my sanity as I went along, sorry about that. I read the first ones a long time ago so my recollection of those are much fuzzier than more recent books. Also I read them in French so I have no idea what they’re called in English and was too lazy to look it up (this thing has taken me long enough already). Spoilers abound.
In publication order:
Arsène Lupin gentleman-cambrioleur (Arsène Lupin Gentleman-Thief)
This one is awesome, it really got me into Lupin stories in general. At first I was just reading it to practise my French and so that I could understand the references in the Netflix show, but I ended up genuinely getting into it.
(The Netflix show is great, by the way. I now understand why he named his son Raoul, the context behind “Ganimard”, the vibe in general... Assane Diop is really a fantastic modern-day Lupin!)
Getting to hear about smol Lupin pulling off Baby’s First Heist was very cute!
I still think Miss Nelly is one of the more fun “girlfriends of the week” so far, and I like that she showed up in more than one adventure, as a treat. I hope she’s having a good day.
I also like how Maurice Leblanc, the author, is just... there?? He’s just some guy who is there, who Lupin recounts all his adventures to, and then Leblanc writes them and publishes them. Their friendship is adorable, honestly. I too would want to write myself into the story as a self-insert to be besties with the main character, that’s so valid of him.
Arsène Lupin contre Herlock Sholmès (Arsène Lupin vs. Herlock Sholmes)
At first I actually wasn’t that keen on the full novel format of this one, where it’s one large story rather than multple smaller and moderately unrelated adventures -- but I did still enjoy the book! Basically I thought some of the fun was lost because more time is spent building up the larger plot that previously would have instead been time spent on getting to see Lupin doing his usual funny shenanigans. That being said though, in later books I actually do love the full novel format and it works well for more serious adventures, and the delayed gratification of getting to see the payoff to all that buildup is great. Just not so much in this particular novel (or maybe I need to reread it, it’s been a long time). I still did enjoy it though
The back and forth between Lupin and Sholmès is very fun -- they both take turns outwitting each other, which is nice, because neither is made to feel smarter than the other and they’re very equally matched as far as opponents go. I didn’t even know who I was rooting for some of the time, hehe.
This book was where I first realised that Lupin’s love interests have that “girlfriend of the week” format, because there’s no sign of Miss Nelly here and he’s got a new love interest instead who never shows up again after this. Some girlfriends of the week are more fun or interesting than others. This one was pretty good! I like that she was his partner in crime, helping him out with his shenanigans. I don’t remember much else about her. (Some old-timey sexism is, naturally, to be expected.)
Imagining this Sholmes as the one from the Great Ace Attorney games makes it all very, very funny btw and I highly recommend it
L’Aiguille creuse (The Hollow Needle)
THIS. THIS ONE. OH MY GOD. THIS NOVEL. I SWEAR TO GOD
No really this one changed me. It came into my house and smashed a barrel over my head, killing me instantly. I was in SHOCK when I read it. It kept me on the edge of my seat. I was reading voraciously and near the end I unfortunately had to stop to do life things and the whole time I couldn’t stop thinking about it. At the first opportunity I ditched everything else to sit back down to eagerly read more and finish it as quick as I could. My mouth was hanging open by the end. I was in awe. I had no idea a Lupin novel would make me feel such emotions.
(This one is my favourite, I think.)
So like, here the novel format really shines, because it’s all part of a larger adventure, except this time Lupin isn’t only against Sholmès, he also has to contend with Isidore Beautrelet, who is probably my favourite one-off character in the entire series.
For starters, he’s JUST A KID. He’s this poor little teenager who should be focusing on his school and exams but instead is getting caught up in all this madness, and all this because of his own sense of justice. He doesn’t have to put himself in such danger but he repeatedly does, because his conscience won’t let him just leave it.
And Lupin in this one!!! He comes across as much more of the villain this time!!! He’s actively very menacing at times, which I absolutely LOVED. Usually we’re rooting for him, since he’s the protagonist, and even though he’s a thief he’s very much a Robin Hood-type and incredibly honourable, so we want him to win. But this time!! This time!!! The poor little kiddo Isidore gets just as much “screentime” and attention! We don’t want him to get hurt! We want him to win too! And there’s this brilliant clash of wishes here, where we still want Lupin to get away with his crimes, but we also want to see this plucky kid detective succeed, and the emotional buildup of that is phenomenal.
Especially because Lupin basically agrees with the audience here. He doesn’t want this kid to get hurt, he even ends up reluctantly caring about him because he sees aspects of himself in him! He wants him to be safe! But he also knows that the kid is truly a formidable opponent who can’t just be ignored because of his age, so the question is: how far do you go, to scare him off? What if none of that works? What then? What can you even do that’ll sit right with your own conscience? How much are you willing to hurt a child? How much will you let him be traumatised? Especially one who has come to mean something to you? What can you do when you see him like your own son, yet he only sees you as his enemy?
(Man, can you imagine if THIS had been the conflict in the Cagliostro revenge book? Lupin having to fight against his actual son, but properly?)
The scenes within the actual “aiguille creuse” near the end blew my mind. I think I was shaking when I was reading it. The invitation letter left on the table. The slow climb up the tower. The distant sounds of the police. Everything. Lupin, the ominous, terrifying Lupin, having been one step ahead the whole time.
AND THEN. AT THE END. IT WAS ALL FOR NOTHING. BECAUSE SHOLMÈS. SHOOTS. RAYMONDE.
I cannot get over it and I won’t for as long as I live. Lupin was ready to give it all up -- and he did! These treasures he’d spent YEARS amassing, he gave all that up! He was going to stop! He was going to return to a fully honest life! To be with Raymonde, to soothe his own soul! But then Sholmès!! Fucking!! SHOOTS RAYMONDE!!!!
And that’s it, that’s the end!! It has a tragic ending!!! It completely destroyed me!!!!
I mean, Raymonde was an awesome girlfriend of the week, she literally shot Lupin himself earlier in the book before getting together with him, she’s a badass, and for her to just die like that -- and at the hands of Herlock Sholmès, of all people!!!! What the hell!!!!
813
Another favourite. Absolute banger of a book. You go into it thinking “who names a book ‘813′ lmao what even is that” and then it proceeds to rip out your heart and soul and eat them in front of you.
First of all, I had been hoping, wishing, praying that a girlfriend of the week would turn out to secretly be evil. And voilà! Here we have it! And it’s so good!
Seriously, Dolorès was already fairly good as a gf of the week, but when the reveal happens, ALONGSIDE LUPIN ACCIDENTALLY KILLING HER AT THE SAME TIME, god that really got me. That was INSANE.
This whole thing was tragic as hell, in fact. Lupin ending up leading to the deaths of three people when he usually prides himself on never committing murder, it really shatters his own sense of self-trust and it’s no wonder he tries to kill himself at the end. Like, he accidentally kills one and then desperately tries to save the others, in vain, and has no one to blame but himself.
Not only that, but his flaws are on full display in this novel, which, THANK GOD. Look I love him being the mastermind thief who’s a genius and always on top of everything ever, but this time we get to actually see through that to the man beneath the mask. It’s grittier, it’s darker. He isn’t perfect. He can’t control everything. And god, does he try because he is Arsène Lupin and he has to be that larger-than-life gentleman thief, everything has to go perfectly. But in this book things go wrong, it spirals out of control, he can’t handle it, he loses patience, he loses his mind. He can’t see that the villain is the woman he loves, who was right in front of him the whole time.
And then there’s that. You know. Geneviève. Hecking Geneviève.
This made me feral, I tell you. I picked up on the hints very early. I guessed it was coming. And it made that reveal at the end SO INSANELY GOOD.
The way he kept visiting, only wanting the best for her, trying to move around the threads of her life like a puppet on a string, and Victoire calls him out on it because -- he can’t do that! He keeps trying to control people, convincing himself it’s for their own good, but it all falls apart because he can’t accept the fact that not everyone wants what he wants! Sometimes it’s better to leave well alone!
And he learns this with Geneviève before it’s too late, thankfully, deciding to leave her be and not to interfere with her life, and even though he was going to tell her the truth he just can’t bring himself to because it’s such a selfish wish when she’ll be better off not knowing, not having her life ruined like that in a time period where there’s much more judgement on these things, and she’s already perfectly happy taking care of the children at her school, he sees how happy she is... and as he breaks down into tears, Victoire finally asks him, is Geneviève his daughter, and he says yes... god... that’s his fricking daughter...
I’d guessed it so early on and the final confirmation was just. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect. That’s his DAUGHTER. And she’ll never even know. I’m going emo just remembering it. I literally cried over this. The Cagliostro revenge book wants what 813 has.
(Also, his friendship with Victoire is always so heartwarming. Well, I say “always”, but it’s angsty too, because she’d much rather live an honest life, but she loves Lupin too much to ever betray him or refuse to help him. The fact is, she’s like a mother to him. They’re family. And the way she actually did stick up for Geneviève so much when Lupin was trying to heck around with her life... did she guess it from early on too?)
There’s also that morbid, dark, macabre scene where this guy tries to hang himself... it was written so well, it wrecked me. The lead up to the moment, him falling unconscious, Lupin cutting him down and putting another dead body in its place, and then the guy wakes up and sees what he believes is his own corpse hanging there and he starts to believe he’s losing his mind or having an out-of-body experience as he’s dying, and Lupin using it to manipulate him into working for him, so he could control him like a puppet, the way he was trying to do with his own daughter too, and in the end the guy dies anyway, and Lupin almost kills himself too because he can’t bear the weight of everything his actions have led to... Do you understand just how feral this makes me??? This exquisite angst??? This shocking darkness????? I was NOT expecting anything like this from a Lupin novel and it was like being repeatedly stabbed in the most amazing way possible
In fact I’m skimming back over the hanging scene and my gOd it’s even more amazing than I remembered -- Lupin telling the guy he’s giving him one more chance and to choose between life and death, and he holds him at gunpoint, and the poor guy picks life!! He picks life!! His near-death experience traumatised him!!! But in order to live, to take the place of the corpse, he has to resemble him, so he must chop off his own finger, and he’s terrified but Lupin makes him do it!!! It’s insane!!! And even Lupin on the inside feels so disturbed at everything he’s had to witness this evening, everything he’s had to do!!! AaaaAaAaaaaAAAAAAAAA
Le Bouchon de cristal (The Crystal Stopper)
One more banger. This one was just amazing. (I call these three the trilogy of bangers, because they are. Well, angst bangers. There’s a trilogy of comedy bangers later.)
The pace in this one was more frantic. Or maybe that was because I read it so fast? A lot of it blurs together in my mind, I should probably reread it at some point...
But anyway: I love, love, LOVE in this one that for most of the book, Lupin is losing. He’s constantly being outsmarted by an extremely formidable foe and is scrambling to catch up. We’re used to Lupin being the one doing that to others -- and he’s used to it too! He hates feeling so powerless! It’s fantastic just how vulnerable we get to see him!
The plot of poor little Gilbert being falsely accused of murder, and desperately begging for his boss to save him before his execution, and Lupin doing his damndest to get this poor kid freed in whatever way he possibly can and being thwarted at every possible opportunity, it’s SO good. I love Gilbert so much. He has so much faith in his boss and Lupin does not want to let him down. (I also loved that Gilbert’s lawyer has so much faith in his innocence too to the point of crying over it and desperately trying to convince other people, I thought it was very sweet.) And the fact that he does manage to save him in the end makes me so happy.
The adventurey stuff with the villain Daubrecq was good too, if somewhat convoluted at points. He’s a genius, a creep, absolutely terrifying, absolutely brilliant, and constantly one step ahead. Every time you think Lupin’s got him, it turns out to be part of some overarching plan and he’s outwitted you once again. It’s so wild. It happens so often I was almost getting tired of it by the end, haha. But what an end!! The paper turning out to be hidden literally in his glass eye! It had been there the whole time! the madlad
Clarisse was pretty cool too. I like that she cared so much about her son, and I’m obsessed with how she just straight-up ditched Lupin at the end. Iconic. She’s so valid lmao I’m such a hoe for characters turning people down
No because a lot of the times, his GOTWs (girlfriends of the week, I cannot be bothered to write it out in full every time) will die at the end somehow, or turn out to be evil so he doesn’t like them anymore, or they’ll just never be mentioned ever again so they presumably split offscreen because Lupin has attachment issues or whatever. But Clarisse just wasn’t even into him? Or at least, she was, but there was never any chance she’d actually go for him, since she doesn’t like thieves, and Lupin just had to deal with it. Good for her! Honestly! And good on Lupin for going for a milf this time -- usually his GOTWs are hot single ladies but it’s nice to know that he’s into older women and mothers too I guess
And the contrast between Daubrecq and Lupin, who both like Clarisse but go about it in different ways -- Daubrecq blackmailing her into marrying him and trying to guilt trip her into kissing him by threatening her son, while Lupin just leaves her alone at the end because he clearly understands the meaning of the word no (at least in this book *cough*) and isn’t interested in getting with someone who isn’t interested back... good boy Lupin, good
Les Confidences d’Arsène Lupin (The Secrets of Arsène Lupin)
I... don’t remember this one. Like at all. I definitely read it, but...
Looking back at the chapter list I think it was just a bunch of mini-adventures like the first book, which is cute. I have very vague recollections of some of them and those recollections are pleasant. I’m sure I enjoyed it I just can’t remember lol, it clearly didn’t leave enough of an impression on me
L’Éclat d’obus (The Shell Shrapnel)
And now we reach the first of the “Not Actually A Lupin Novel” books. Like, this is clearly just an original work. It doesn’t have the same tone or style or even genre as the other Lupin stories. And there’s also the fact that LUPIN ISN’T IN IT. Oh sure, he’s offhandedly mentioned once, for all of about two paragraphs. But not only does he not even make a physical appearance, those few little paragraphs were added in a later edition of the book. The original just didn’t have him mentioned at all. Like, I cannot stress enough how much this is NOT a Lupin novel. Not in the slightest. They will tell you it is, but they are lying.
Buuuuut I still read it anyway, so here are my thoughts :D
I’m not a fan of gritty war novels, but that being said, I didn’t dislike it. I think it was well-written and the story and mystery were good, despite the fact that it’s clearly and obviously WW1 French propaganda with no effort whatsoever made to hide it. I also liked the characters and their motivations etc, though I think it would have been cooler if the girl’s mum really was bad after all, rather than it actually being a misunderstanding. Or whatever the plot was. I don’t remember it clearly enough now.
Diversity win! The evil war general that killed you father is genderfluid!
Okay lmao but seriously, I like that the villain was just this irredeemably evil girlboss. Like, good ol’ Dolorès was the villain in 813 but she was pretty conflicted and torn up about it and suffering from mental illness and clearly a sympathetic character. But this war general lady? A true evil girlboss and I stan. There’s no “oh but she’s a ~woman~ so she’s all ~weak~ and ~soft~” as was typical for the time period, they’re just like “nope she is straight-up evil and also terrifying and god she needs to be shot asap”. And then she gets shot. Brill.
(I mean, I’m not knowledgeable about the historical and social context of WW1-era Europe so this could have been a “look how scary and evil these German ladies are, not like our sweet and soft and feminine French ladies uwu” but I have no idea.)
Also, despite being a war novel, I like that it doesn’t glamourise it much and does show the brutality and horrors of trench warfare and how it ruins people’s lives, even people who you think of as “heroes”. Probably helps that it was written while the war was still going on.
Oh and the main couple were pretty cute. I don’t even remember their names now but yeah they were cute.
Le Triangle d’or (The Golden Triangle)
Another “Not Actually A Lupin Novel” novel, though at least Lupin does actually show up and do some stuff this time. Not much, but he’s there and mildly plot-relevant.
That being said... I did not enjoy this book. Sorry. I’m sure it was very good and a lot of people loved it, but not me.
The main character annoyed me. A lot. Idk man, I just didn’t like him. I also didn’t like his love interest -- she felt very flat and the two of them didn’t even have any chemistry. It was flatter than a piece of paper. I was hoping they’d both die tbh lol
The torture scene was raw as hell, I liked it. Wait, am I getting a different book mixed up with this one? I think there was a torture scene in an earlier book too but I can’t remember which one... Might’ve been Le Bouchon de cristal? Well whatever, all torture scenes in this series are good because I love it when characters suffer and are put in Situations
Also, I sort of liked the Sims-esque scene of the protagonists getting locked in a house where all the doors and windows are boarded up and they have to starve to death. I mean, I was totally rooting for them to die so that lessened the imapct somewhat and made it significantly funnier than it should have been, but still.
Also it has to be mentioned. This book was written in 1918 and it shows. For its time period it was probably considered quite acceptable, even forward, but by today’s standards... no, it’s definitely racist. It’s nice that Ya-Bon is clearly a good guy and friends with the protagonists (and close friends with Lupin in particular, who deeply trusts him, which was awesome) but uh, yeah. There’s still a lot that comes across today as racist and it makes for quite the uncomfortable read. But, y’know, baby steps, it was good for 1918, historical context and all that, it’s nice that today we can look back and acknowledge the racism in it while still acknowledging that for its day it was better than many of its contemporaries, etc.
L’Île aux trente cercueils (The Island of Thirty Coffins)
The third and thankfully last of the “Not Actually A Lupin Novel” trilogy.
This one was freaking DARK. And CREEPY. And DEPRESSING. I call it the “murder island” book for a reason. There’s something so sinister about thinking you’re going to get to meet your long-lost son but then the kid you think is your son just up and muders like 20+ people in front of you and wants to crucify you and there’s like a cult and... yeah, this one was a bit macabre. I liked it though
THE DOG WAS SO CUTE. I LOVE YOU TOUT-VA-BIEN. YOU’RE ADORABLE. BEST CHARACTER.
I also like that the protagonist is a woman this time. She’s not even some generic #Girlboss, she’s a middle-aged woman with a child and plenty of depth to her! In general, she’s awesome.
I didn’t really like the sort of... inevitability of inheritance sort of thing going on though? Like that if you’re a good person then your children will be good, and if you’re a bad person then your children will be bad... It happens quite a bit in these books and it really annoys me. You are not bound by what other people in your biological family have done, okay, you are YOU, end of. I think it would’ve been more interesting if her son really was evil, tbh. I did like the evil child though I think he was funny
Speaking of funny, the abrupt tone shift when Lupin shows up pretending to be the druid guy gave me so much whiplash. I cannot even begin to describe how much that “Ah ! la barbe !” line felt like a direct punch to the face. It took me OUT. And from then on it’s literally just slapstick comedy. Like, even Lupin himself acknowledges the wild tone change, it’s so bizarre. This is like, a good three quarters of the way into the book too. You’ve already read hundreds of pages of sheer angst by this point and then it hits you with the clownery. Unbelievable. Top tier comedy. Mad.
Les Dents du tigre (The Teeth of the Tiger)
Back to an actual Lupin novel where he’s the protagonist again, hallelujah! Though he’s not really stealing stuff in this one, which sucked, but it was still good. Actually, I remember this one being very weird -- like, the solution to the overarching mystery was just very odd and strange and I’m not sure it felt entirely earned. But still, I did enjoy it.
There was this one scene in particular that was absolutely mind-shattering, it blew me away. I start biting like a rabid animal. It was where Lupin was being hunted by the police so he hid in the walls of the building, but then couldn’t escape without being caught, and he slowly started starving to death and losing his mind and willpower and going delirious, and then when he realised the house was going to blow and that people were going to die, he desperately tried to find a way to escape so he could warn everyone and he called for help but nobody came and he eventually, half dead, managed to get his arm to reach the telephone and then despite literally being in the process of dying he managed to get the warning across, just about! And he succeeded!! Just in the nick of time!!! GOD that bit was too good
Les Huits Coups de l’horloge (The Eight Strikes of the Clock)
This one was interesting, being essentially several shorter stories but all connected to each other by an overarching story, which I really liked -- it’s like the perfect combination of buildup and drama of the longer novels, and the fast pace and fun of the short stories. Like episodes of a TV show. (Later on the Barnett book does it too, and I love that one so much...)
Hortense is one of the best GOTWs, and I think a lot of it is because she actually has chemistry with Lupin beyond just “she’s a pretty lady so he’s into her”? I mean, yes, there’s that too, but the two of them are genuine friends and she’s pretty much his partner-in-crime sidekick sort of person for the most part, which felt like a fresh dynamic, and I really liked their interactions. Sometimes these Lupin romances can get kinda stale but this one was actually good. They felt more like real people than the usual fantasy mushy romance. I know I don’t read these books for their realism, but still, my standards for fictional romance can get quite high...
La Comtesse de Cagliostro (The Countess of Cagliostro)
Oh. Ohoho. OhohoHOhoOhOhHOHoo.
This one is crunchy. I love it.
Usually I’m used to considering Lupin around my age or older but this book specifically takes place in the past, in the 1890s, where Raoul (shush I’m calling him that) is only 20 and god he’s sooooo adorable. Idiot swooning hormonal mess, bless him. I love him dearly. He’s so funny and stupid. Literally all his problems are caused by being a raging heterosexual (for now *cough cough Barnett book*). Silly little cute-pie.
On the name Raoul -- in the first book he used that name when talking about his very first heist when he was 6, and he’s used it multiple times since then, in multiple books. Whether or not it’s his birth name, it does feel like his “true” name to me. Arsène Lupin feels like more of a stage name or something, the larger-than-life gentleman thief, while Raoul is the man beneath that. I suppose it’s reminiscent of the difference between Flynn Rider and Eugene Fitzherbert, really. They’re both him, but in differring ways.
Anyway!! Raoul ghosts his gf to go after this other hot girl, Joséphine, and since she’s evil and doesn’t want him to get caught up in her evil life she tries to keep him away but even though he’s feeling conflicted about the fact that she’s a thief (and the fact that he dumped his old gf so suddenly, poor girl) he’s so horny he can’t stop simping for her and then she gives in and makes out with him and keeps him on her boat so she can snog him whenever she wants and it turns out she’s a yandere?? AND a girlboss who gaslights and gatekeeps??? It feels like a modern day fanfic and I mean that in the positive sense
Seriously, it’s so delicious, all the angst when Raoul realises the truth about Joséphine, who then tries to kill his ex or something since she’s a yandere and she’s super angry... It’s wild. This book is wild. There is so much weird love-hate. It’s glorious. I bet people wrote smut about it.
And then at the end, he gets back with his ex and marries her and they have a kid but then she dies and THE KID GETS KIDNAPPED BY JOSÉPHINE???? Even at the time I predicted half the plot of the later Cagliostro vengeance book almost immediately, guessing that she’d try and raise the kidnapped son to turn against his father or something sufficiently angsty like that, and I wasn’t exactly wrong. GOD.
La Demoiselle aux yeux verts (The Damsel with Green Eyes)
I... didn’t much care about this one, tbh. The GOTW didn’t feel like a real person, just a bunch of traits slapped together to make a hot lady love interest. Honestly I’m not really that into the books which are just mushy love stories where Lupin saves his damsel in distress a bunch of times. He’s supposed to be a thief! Let him steal!
Like seriously, I think he had more chemistry with the blue-eyed English woman at the start than with... god I don’t even remember her name. The love interest. He didn’t even KNOW her, and even when he thought she was a murderer he was fine with kissing her like 5 minutes later (tho um dude you should probably ASK HER FIRST, come on man)... Hello, did la Cagliostro teach you nothing???
Anyway the mystery was okay, there wasn’t much fun adventurey stuff, I didn’t care about the romance, worst GOTW. All in all a mid book.
That being said it did have this one epic scene -- you think all is lost and there’s this long buildup, this brilliant long buildup, and the guy opens the piece of paper and there’s the drop: “Marescal est une gourde.” (”Marescal is an idiot.”) Flawless. I laughed so hard. I love that scene. Lupin’s such a troll sometimes.
And also after the end how he continues to constantly troll Marescal with the “Un peu de feu ?” thing, it’s not only hilarious, but the fact that it’s implied he’s doing it for years afterwards, overlapping with other books like 813! So while all the angsty heckery of 813 is going on, at some point or another, he’s trolling Marescal in the background! Continuing to gaslight and torment him! Absolutely fab, I can’t get over it.
L’Agence Barnett et Cie (The Barnett & Co. Agency)
GOD TIER BOOK. GOD TIER. (Excuse me in advance, I’m gonna be a little unhinged for the next few books.)
Okay so this one is another one where they’re short stories, but completely connected to each other so you still get that overarching plot. Except this time? This time it’s super light-hearted, all the way through, and it’s perfect. I love this one to pieces. I’d say this one is the funniest.
Firstly it’s because Lupin (who’s going by the oddly English name “Jim Barnett” here lmao) is LARPing as a detective now and he is clearly having so much fun. Like he tells people his services are free, but after he’s solved the case he just steals from them. He literally just robs them. It’s so funny
The mysteries are pretty good too, and solved in an interesting manner. I always love hearing the Poirot-esque explanation at the end it’s awesome
But most of all this book is great because of BÉCHOUX MY BELOVED. Béchoux best character. Ganimard wants what Béchoux has. This is like a platonic, reversed, comedy version of the Cagliostro angst and I’m so here for it. Actually, did I say platonic? Make that ambiguously platonic. Lupin, former raging heterosexual, is entering his bi era and you know what, good for him. Good for him.
Okay but seriously, these two are besties, worsties, boyfriends, exes, married and divorced all at the same time. It’s like Looney Tunes. They keep breaking up because Béchoux, a policeman, keeps suspecting that his bestie Barnett is actually Arsène Lupin and is stealing from his clients, so he gets mad at him and stops talking to him, then later he’ll come crawling back every time because he needs his help solving a case again and Barnett’s all like “aww babe, I knew you couldn’t live without me <3″ oh my god it is so gay.
They even start tutoie-ing each other (using informal pronouns) because Béchoux did it once in a fit of anger and then Lupin started doing it as a proof that they’re super close (and probably to mess with him too, he loves doing that) and then Béchoux just... also does it too? Even though he claims to hate this guy and want to arrest him? But he continously doesn’t and instead carries on being his boytoy twink malewife friend and asking for his help all the time??? They’re in love your honour
(All that said, Lupin does go and fuck Béchoux’s ex-wife and it’s implied he did it mostly to annoy Béchoux. Like, that is very much a thing that canonically happens. Béchoux is livid. It’s bloody hilarious. Funniest thing to happen in any of the books hands down.)
On the formal vs informal pronouns thing in a bit more detail: basically in French, the informal you is “tu” but it can be used as “tu (derogatory)” or “tu (affectionate)”. Lupin frequently uses the former on his enemies when he’s fighting them, as a way to show his lack of respect for them, to insult them, to have power over them, etc, and they do it back. But he uses the latter with people he considers close -- Victoire, some of his love interests, sometimes his friends or subordinates. And in this book, Béchoux got mad at him and used tu (derogatory), but then Lupin starts doing it back but affectionate, and then Béchoux..?? also starts using tu (affectionate)???
I have no idea how translations into English (and other languages that don’t have the T-V distinction) conveyed that change in tone but in French it’s fricking awesome. Damn right they’re close and care about each other. It sticks even when they’re mad at each other and it’s the sweetest thing.
La Demeure mystérieuse (The Mysterious House)
I was so pleasantly overjoyed to see that Béchoux was back in this one, I’d genuinely thought he was just going to be a one-off but no! He’s here! And just as tsundere for Lupin as ever! A BOYFRIEND of the week, you could say! Or more like multiple weeks!
Okay but this book was pretty cool, the mystery was pretty cool, and a lot of this one was very very funny. The Van Houben guy was hilarious. The villain was interesting -- for a while I really didn’t know if he was going to be good or bad, because he did save Lupin’s life, and just... yeah it was pretty interesting, though I was mentally punching Lupin in the face like “Get! Your! Jealousy! Issues! Under! Control!”
I do like that Lupin ended up being close friends with Régine. It’s a nice change to see him care about a single and attractive lady without really being into her and genuinely enjoying her company in a completely platonic way. I wish it happened more!
I also love that his GOTW didn’t actually get with him at the end!! Yes she was into him but she said she wanted to remain friends instead, and he accepted that! And then they went on holiday together to hang out with each other and !!! That was so good!!!! So good!!!!!!! I’m such a hoe for that!!!!!!!
Alright but when I was reading the previous book and unexpectedly shipping Lupin and Béchoux to hell and back, I was thinking “well that’s because I’m reading it in the 21st century with a modern understanding and view of the text, the queer subtext surely can’t have been intentional at the time” but then I read this book and I’m like ah... okay no yeah this is just bi. “Il fait de vous ce qu’il veut... et de toutes les femmes d’ailleurs.” “Et de tous les hommes aussi.” That combined with him not ending up with either of the girls, and him and Béchoux getting even closer... well it certainly makes one think.
Also I can’t remember if it was this book or the next one so I’m just gonna put it here but at one point he called Béchoux “délicieux” (three guesses what that translates as) and like... I can’t be certain that he’s never described other guys like that before because I can’t remember, but he DOES frequently describe his girl love interests like that! Very frequently, even! With openly and unambiguously romantic connotations! I just... is this supposed to be read as flirting? Is this just me reading it in 2023, or did people in 1928 catch it too? Am I going mad??
La Barre-y-va (The “place-where-the-current-reaches”?? idk how to translate this one, it’s a place name so maybe I’ll just not bother)
It got gayer. I loved this book. Very fun. Good mystery. All that jazz. Now back to the queer stuff because oh boy.
First of all half the time Raoul (yes he’s back to Raoul again) is calling Béchoux by his first name, Théodore, instead, which is... really something. Also Béchoux just inexplicably had a key to his flat even though no one’s meant to know where Raoul lives. It’s never explained. Like Béchoux why do you even have that. And then he invites Raoul to stay with him on his holiday (oh my god they were roommates). Raoul also said he had constantly been thinking about him and compliments him profusely in a physical sense in a way that maybe sounded different in 1931 than it does today but it sure does seem different with a modern eye and they’re just. There’s a lot.
(There’s also this quick little “oh you’re totally like a brother to me” that never came up again which made me laugh so hard. It’s like the Sailor Moon English dub cousins thing. Like lmao who is buying this. Nice try.)
Also at one point while Raoul’s dancing with joy he grabs Béchoux and puts his arm around his waist and spins him around and lifts him in the air. No I am not making this up. His GOTWs are literally watching and cheering them on. Oh yeah, Raoul has a polycule this time btw
In fact Béchoux gets a GOTW too this book! And Raoul interrupts them just as they’re about to kiss, if that didn’t make things obvious
And there’s more -- Béchoux’s GOTW turns out to be like mildly evil and also already married and Béchoux gets mad and leaves her, and in the meantime Raoul gets dumped by both his GOTWs because they don’t want to be in his polycule anymore, then Fate or Destiny or whatever makes him go to a certain place and he sees that Béchoux now has his own polycule with his mildly evil GOTW and her husband -- and Raoul is so pissed off he grabs Béchoux by the arm and drags him outside, all the while complaining like “how could you be going out with those criminal peasants when I’M right here and so much better than them?? I need to save you from yourself” (I’m not making this up I promise) and it’s super ridiculous and it’s like he doesn’t even know how to deal with his own emotions, so he just KIDNAPS BÉCHOUX and stuffs him in his car and drives off with him and Béchoux’s complaning that he doesn’t have any time off from work for this and Raoul says he’ll sort it out and that he’ll buy Béchoux new clothes and a toothbrush or something and IT’S SO WILD. HOW WAS THIS EVEN WRITTEN. IT’S NOT EVEN SUBTLE ANYMORE. PLEASE TELL ME I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE SEEING THIS. MON DIEU. THESE BITCHES GAY. TANT MIEUX POUR EUX. TANT MIEUX POUR EUX.
La Femme aux deux sourires (The Woman With Two Smiles)
*Megamind face* No Béchoux?
Sigh... my disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined. Welp, anyways, moving on...
Raoul you fucker. No I’m serious -- he’s a fuckboy now and I hate it. (Not that he wasn’t already, a lil bit...) I can excuse stealing from people but I draw the line at kissing someone when they told you not to and clearly doesn’t like it and also lying to your harem of a million girlfriends.
Zero chemistry between him and his GOTW(s). In fact, it’s the opposite. It’s like anti-chemistry. I don’t even like her very much but I still think she deserves better. Raoul you should’ve just stuck with Princess Olga. She was right to dump you though and her husband yelling at you was hilarious
Also there’s some new policeman guy but it’s not the same... I just want him (Béchoux) back 😔...
That being said, the book did pick up later on and get better, and the plot twist was actually pretty cool. So was the meteorite thing. Was it a ridiculously ridiculous coincidence? Yes, but it doesn’t beat out the ridiculous balloon dropping a rope in the exact right place thing from one of the earlier books so it’s fine.
Also, these books are getting bolder as time goes on? I noticed more and more harsh language used, and very strong implications of sexual assault (previously I’d say the closest it came to that was Le Bouchon de cristal, which didn’t go quite that far). It’s not necessarily darker, because nothing can beat 813 in that regard, but it does feel “edgier”, especially coming directly after a trilogy of light-hearted adventures.
Oh!! And he totally does joke about being bi in this book so I will choose to believe it. When his GOTW mentions being jealous that he’s in love with someone else, he pretends she’s talking about his (male) sidekick first. And then later when he talks about how everyone keeps falling in love with him, he rattles off the names of a bunch of people including male characters and god why wasn’t Béchoux in this book dammit could you imagine--
Victor, de la Brigade mondaine (Victor, of the Vice Squad)
No thoughts. Head empty. Utterly gobsmacked. Flabbergasted. Speechless.
No but this one started off so slow, and it was so little about Lupin and I didn’t think much of Victor, it was all just a lot of convoluted and repetitive investigation and every side character is cheating on their spouse in a middling stale soap opera way so it didn’t exactly captivate me...
But then Victor starts playing 4D chess, and that’s where it gets good. And I thought, oh, I have to play 5D chess in order to see where this is going. Maybe even 6D chess. I have to consider all the possibilities. AND THEN. I GET COMPLETELY BLINDSIDED BY LUPIN PLAYING 10D CHESS. RIGHT AT THE END.
My god, I was so shook I couldn’t even speak for several minutes. I’m not even going to say the exact details because I don’t even want to spoil it. I have to reread this one at some point and see what it’ll feel like now, knowing what I know. I know the first half is boring af but that payoff... god, that payoff. A work of art.
Also, the name “Beamish” is so funny to me for some reason. Is that what French people think English surnames sound like? I mean, I don’t doubt that there is probably someone out there with that surname, and it certainly does sound English, but it also made me cackle like an idiot every time I read it. Like oh yeah that’s that English bloke, Beamish. BEAMISH. Why is it so funny to me
La Cagliostro se venge (The Countess of Cagliostro gets her revenge)
I liked this one. I thought it was going to shred my soul to ribbons but it actually ended up being surprisingly wholesome and nowhere near as angsty as I was expecting. Like, the beginning of the book even TELLS you it’s gonna get angsty, really building it up, ominous, like the opening to a horror movie, with all this “these poor happy characters have no idea of what they’re about to go through...” and then... Well, there’s death alright, but overall the book was just... fine. It wasn’t that dark lmao, no shocking angstfest
(And that’s not a bad thing! It was actually quite a pleasant surprise!)
Joséphine is dead in this one, which was sorta disappointing because I thought it would be fun (if very traumatic) for Raoul to see her again, but I do love that his reaction to finding out that she’s dead was “OH THANK GOD, I FRICKING HATED HER.” So iconic.
The thing about Félicien being his son... I do love that he swings between lowkey disliking him and suspecting him, and being proud of him in a “hell yeah that’s my boy!!” way, and he’s so awkward about being a dad and doesn’t even know if he’d be a good one, and in the end doesn’t even tell Félicien. It doesn’t have anywhere near the emotional impact or angst of Geneviève from 813 imo but it’s still pretty fun.
AND THEN THERE’S ROLANDE. She’s not a GOTW but she is one of the best Lupin girlies of all time. The fact that she managed to trick literally everyone, AND got her revenge on the bad guy without Lupin’s help or even knowledge, outsmarting him, masterminding the whole thing behind the scenes... She’s so cool. Rolande you’re so freaking cool. What an absolute ledge. Definitely one of the stand out parts of the book. I need to reread it at some point and focus specifically on her rather than being distracted by the Félicien stuff because WOW.
Les Milliards d’Arsène Lupin (The Billions of Arsène Lupin)
Oh my god I am trying so hard to recall what the actual plot of this book was because the only thing sticking in my brain is THE SCENE WHERE BÉCHOUX FOUGHT A TIGER. HE FOUGHT A FUCKING TIGER WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT??? WHAT EVEN WAS THAT??? AM I DREAMING??? DID THIS HAPPEN??? BÉCHOUX LITERALLY FOUGHT A LITERAL TIGER???????????
Okay but Béchoux being back was such a lovely surprise. He was quickly mentioned as being Lupin’s enemy, to which Lupin was immediately like “no the frick he isn’t???” and then he actually shows up, and Lupin is calling him “policier de mon cœur” and “Béchoux de mon cœur” and hitting on him... I’m not making this up. He literally calls him that. Like canonically. In the text. Openly.
And Béchoux is trying to catch him again and still does help him but also betrays him and LUPIN SETS A TIGER LOOSE ON HIM. IT’S UNBELIEVABLE. MONSIEUR LEBLANC HOW DID YOU EVEN THINK OF THIS, I JUST WANNA TALK
OKAy tiger aside, Béchoux aside...
I liked Patricia, I thought she was a really cool GOTW and has a great investigative streak, which was nice, although it would have been nicer for her if she could get on with that investigation without getting sexually assaulted every five minutes. Like seriously, what was with the creeps in this book? Leave her alone!!
Also her son is adorable and very cool. I wanna be like “are ya winning son?” at him.
Also there was the mafia. Lupin fights the mafia.
I’m so sorry, I’m really trying to remember other things about this book but that tiger has my entire brain in its teeth right now. She’s the best character. She’s out here living her best life. Here you dropped this queen 👑
Le Dernier Amour d’Arsène Lupin (The Last Love of Arsène Lupin)
(Now I know this one is sort of “unfinished” considering Leblanc didn’t get to fully edit it before he died, and it does feel rough around the edges compared to the other novels, so I’ll take that into account when Judging™ it.)
This one was sooooooo cute! Lupin has made it his life’s goal to help give education and opportunities to underprivileged children and to promote world peace! He’s so wonderfully hopeful and idealistic in this one! He even adopts two children! I guess he finally feels able to be a father, something he didn’t really feel that he could do before with Geneviève or Félicien? At first he was hesitant, not wanting them to see him as their father, but by the end he’s so fond of them and protective over them, they really have become his children and he properly adopts them... Anyway that was all very soft and fluffy and cute.
The children in question, Joséphin and Marie-Thérèse, are the best part of the book. Hands down. They’re so cool, doing all this sneaky spy stuff to help Lupin (or rather the captain “Cocorico” which is such a cute name wtf) and their sibling dynamic is adorable and they’re very brave and smart and are clearly learning a lot on the job. I’m very proud of them and so is Lupin. What an iconic brother-sister duo.
I like Cora, I think she’s cool. Considering the setting of the book is the early 1920s you can already see the shifts in attitude towards the social mobility and freedom of women compared with earlier books, as well as a shift away from strict classism, and Cora feels somewhat more “modern” in that sense -- she wants to be friends with who she wants, she doesn’t care for what appears “proper” or “respectable” to high society.
That being said I had absolutely zero interest in her love story with Lupin. I’m so sorry but it was just so boring. Their love for each other could have been platonic and it wouldn’t change a single thing and would have fit a lot better, in my humble onion. Seriously, for a story literally called “Le Dernier Amour d’Arsène Lupin” I sure don’t care about said amour. Bro, you’ve already fallen in love a million times, this one is no different, she’ll be gone in a year or two just like the rest before her, she’s too young for you anyway, like who even cares at this point...
(Also, once again, can the GOTW go five hecking minutes without some creep trying to sexually assault her?? Like I know casual sexism is to be expected from books written so long ago but damn... I’m glad the kids got revenge on Carbett for her.)
It was fun to see the kids talking in more modern-sounding French and more slang, rather than the very Belle-Époque vibes the books usually have, that was pretty cool and really did cement the fact that time has passed and this truly is the LAST book.
The mystery wasn’t that great and the climax felt underwhelming, but tbh I’ll chalk that up to this manuscript being essentially a draft, since I’m sure it would’ve been more exciting and interesting had Leblanc had the time to rework it. All in all a nice end to the series though!
#arsène lupin#phew i finally did it#i'm so obsessed with him it makes me look stupid#random stuff#now i'm off to eat some lunch
28 notes
·
View notes
Text
Animation Night 143 - Lupin III
Animation Night oldtimers - what few remain... - may remember Animation Night 37. It was a fun night where we carved a core through the Lupin III franchise in its many iterations.
For a series of such towering importance to the history of anime, I must have written a massive writeup, right? Ah, if only ‘twere so. Apparently I was having meds trouble - la plus change... - so all you got was a list of films and a promise to write more later.
Well, it’s finally time! Fully two years later x3
So, Lupin III! It’s a lot of things but before it was any of them, it was a gritty seinen manga by Kazuhiko Katō - far better known by the name Monkey Punch - serialised in a magazine called Weekly Manga Action starting in 1967. Here’s the opening spread...
At this time, Monkey Punch was 30, meaning he’d grown up through the second world war, starting his career in comics in junior high where he competed with other artists in the school newspaper. His route into manga was via dōshinshi, then 4koma, and eventually working as an assistant to Naoki Tsuji on influential wrestling series Tiger Mask.
Lupin III took inspiration from, of course, Maurice Leblanc’s stories of gentleman thief Arsène Lupin, by way of a little James Bond. Many of the details of the plot were improvised. Femme fatale Fujiko Mine was originally to be one of a rotating cast of girls like in the Bond films, but that proved to be too much work, so she became a recurring character. Lupin’s samurai buddy Goemon was originally his enemy.
The Lupin manga has that strange horny energy that you tend to expect from 60s manga. It’s definitely still a comedy, but the kind of comedy where the first issue involves microfilm hid inside someone’s vagina and the second has a man almost wrongfully executed. The artwork is sometimes very detaile, but more often sketchy; its expressions are exaggerated, but it predates the codification of standard manga expressions. It’s shaded - in watercolours, I think, and markers. It feels very different from later manga characterised by ultra-precise illustration.
At this point in the history of manga, the waves of gekiga were beginning to be felt. So far as I’m able to tell the distinction goes, Lupin falls outside the (later-defined) line between ‘gekiga’ and ‘manga’, but there was definitely a feeling that more ‘serious’, dramatic stories were coming in. Original flavour Lupin is less ‘thief with a heart of gold’ and more ‘horny trickster’, a much more amoral character.
The manga introduces at first the cat-and-mouse pair of Lupin and Inspector Zenigata, perpetually a step behind. It gradually introduces the rest of the recurring characters: rival thief Fujiko the sexy girl full of cunning plans; Lupin’s partner the gunslinger Jigen whose main trait is shooting really fast and accurate; samurai Goemon whose sword can cut anything, especially clothes.
So, the anime then! This is one of those nights where we’re leaning on Matteo Watzky, who’s provided a great deal of information on the production of the original Lupin TV series.
Lupin was only in serialisation for a year when esteemed animator Yasuo Otsuka left Toei in the midst of ongoing union struggles, shortly after the completion of Horus: Prince of the Sun on which he’d worked as animation director. (See Animation Night 70 for more on that!) Otsuka landed at A-Pro, one of a number of studios in the orbit of a company called Tokyo Movie Shinsha, to work on an adaptation of Lupin - at the time, intended to be a feature film under the direction of Masaaki Osumi.
In 1969 they finished a twelve-minute pilot film that steered close to manga in both design and sensibility. Monkey Punch himself provided some supervision. The pilot is a series of brief vignettes introducing the main characters of the manga, with a narrator describing their main traits and fashion choices before brief skits that mostly end in explosions. Its animation is impressively elaborate and stylish and does not look like much from the era, but producers balked at all the sex and violence, so it was retooled into a TV show. Otsuka and Osumi were pulled away to work on Moomin, and the staff shuffled around a lot - not for the last time.
Lupin finally hit TV in 1971, again under Osumi with Otsuka designing characters. It was going for something dark and dramatic by the standards of the time, in the vein of Ashita no Joe (c.f. Animation Night 95) or Star of the Giants. But Osumi’s manga-faithful take hit poor ratings, and when Osumi was unwilling to compromise, he was gradually squeezed off the project.
Instead, Otsuka brought in two of his protégés from the Toei days, recently hot off the collapse of Pippi Longstocking. You may have heard of them. They were of course Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata - at this point an inseparable pair. Although they took over the series, they did a lot of it pseudonymously, and they would leave A-Pro down the line.
The series that resulted under their direction is known to fans as ‘Green Jacket’ Lupin, because (shockingly) Lupin wears a green jacket. It’s full of foreshadowing for Miyazaki’s later works. Osamu Dezaki, also working pseudonymously, directed a number of episodes as well in his distinctive style. Under their direction, the series became a lot lighter in tone, with a gleeful sense of chaos that would become the defining tone of later adaptations. It wrapped up after 23 episodes, with Miyazaki apologising for the stuff - but all in all it was a success, although not as much as the next one would be...
The second Lupin III adaptation, Lupin III Part II known as ‘Red Jacket’ Lupin, came six years later. In this time a great deal had happened. A-Pro had evolved into Shin-Ei and left the TMS orbit, and the other TMS satellites like Madhouse were also going their own way; in such uncertain conditions, and with their own director obsessed with his ultimately fruitless project to adapt Little Nemo In Slumberland, TMS sought to return to some of their various established licenses to make some reliable money.
A very long production that hit 155 episodes, the Red Jacket series is where Lupin really took off. It’s a mixed bag, with plenty of filler, but also several real standout scenes and episodes. In Watzky’s account, much of this has to do with the involvement of Oh Production, a subcontracting studio that would be a close ally of Takahata and Miyazaki right into the Ghibli days. Their star was Kazuhide Tomonaga, known for his work on Space Battleship Yamato, not to mention duelling Yoshinori Kanada to outdo each other in effects for the ridiculously elaborate finale of Galaxy Express 999. Tomonoga’s best moments would come after Miyazaki’s return, but we’ll come to that in a moment.
Red Jacket gave rise to the first Lupin movie, The Mystery of Mamo, which served as a vehicle to bring back a lot of the departed Shin-Ei animators into the TMS fold, and prior to Akira, it was the highest budget animated film in Japan with enormous ambitions for animation. Read Matteo’s article to get a sense of the different animators and studios shuffling around, but to summarise very briefly, it brought back most of the staff who had created the pilot film and they were able to bring much of the same energy. The film sets Lupin up against an immortal psychic billionaire, and it features an impressively varied animation style, with manga panels or a dreamlike psychic sequence when Lupin runs through a series of series of surrealist paintings.
Next came... guess what... The Castle of Cagliostro! Miyazaki’s back and he’s going to push his vision of Lupin as a romantic, kind-hearted character to a new level, once again in a green jacket. The film featured startlingly elaborate animation. The car chases cemented Lupin’s car as a staple of the series, the finale features the classic ‘I am a traditional animator and I want to flex’ setting of a gigantic clock full of cogwheels. It’s as fun and impressively shot a film as you’d expect from something headed by Miyazaki, although to Lupin fans, it is widely seen as a frustrating one, since it hews furthest from the ‘proper’ roguish characterisation of Lupin.
Cagliostro is also important for another reason: among otaku, the nascent lolicon movement fixated on its character Clarisse, much as Miyazaki himself had once fixated on the girl Bai-Niang from Toei’s The White Snake Enchantress. That’s a... complicated subject to explicate to put it mildly; I discussed it more on Animation Night 69. ‘Clarisse clones’ started popping up all over the place; Cagliostro was perfectly placed as one of the most impressive animated movies at the dawn of the otaku boom.
The TV series continued to run throughout all this, and the success of Cagliostro washed back in, with sudden character redesigns and of course, the two episodes directed by Miyazaki exhibiting all his quirks. Its scenes feel eerily preminiscent of Ghibli, even more so than Green Jacket, elaborate enough to seriously push the envelope on TV animation.
After all this, Lupin had been firmly cemented as a ‘classic’, nostalgic series in anime. Rather than a single canonical story, it was a group of iconic characters with a general setting and tone that was flexible enough to accommodate many more stories. This probably has a lot to do with its enduring presence: you certainly don’t have to have followed Lupin III from the very beginning to be able to jump in to one of the later installments and have a pretty good sense of what’s going on. There is a comfortable status quo, with Zenigata chasing Lupin who’s always one step ahead; from there, you can pull Lupin and the gang into whatever escapade you have in mind.
Through the 80s and 90s, TMS continued to produce Lupin films with a variety of directors. These generally follow the tone set out by the TV series and they’re a lot of fun. Monkey Punch himself actually directed one, being Lupin III: Dead or Alive, albeit reluctantly at the last minute! The 2000s saw TMS, facing budget limits, stripping production down to OVAs.
The most interesting change of direction came with Sayo Yamamoto, of Michiko and Hatchin and later, Yuri on Ice, who we covered back on Animation Night 36. Reading back her comments in the present, it’s like, wait, that Mari Okada?
In Yamamoto’s hands, the focus shifted from Lupin (though he’s still present) to Fujiko as the main character. The tone hews far closer to Monkey Punch’s manga: sex and violence, sure, but also escapades. It’s a hell of a ride, with all sorts of unexpected tones.
The animation, although clearly taking inspiration from the heavy lines of the manga, is most of all a Koike-ism - the deliberate and weighty way characters move, the use of black, the colour palette all scream ‘I just finished working on Redline for seven years’. Koike would end up staying with Lupin even after Yamamoto moved on, directing a trilogy of hour-long movies, Jigen’s Gravestone, Goemon’s Blood Spray and Fujiko’s Lie.
Last time we did Lupin, we watched one of the three, Goemon’s Blood Spray, last time, and honestly... well it’s a weird one! If Yamamoto’s take was able to preserve the comic chaos even with the darker content, Koike decided to fully go for a drama, with a very strange plot that sees Goemon going on a kind of spirit quest as he’s drawn into an intense battle with first gangsters and then a massive lumberjack guy. The long final battle of the movie sees the two gradually slicing bits off each other, meticulously animated in the way only Koike can (truly I never have seen a more carefully rendered sagittal section of the upper arm muscles), but at the time I found the film struggles to deliver the emotional stakes. It’s a long way from the rest of Lupin, and I’m curious but a little apprehensive to see what Koike did with the other two films.
The other major development in Lupin films is the CG film Lupin III: The First (2019) dir. Takashi Yamazaki (his first animated film), featuring a distinctive stylisation that reminds me most of recent Chinese films like New Gods: Nezha Reborn. It’s a curiously bold departure; it caught my attention with clips of hyperchoreographed action scenes; it’s got a very broad, exaggerated style of movement that’s far from the norm for anime and a constantly roving camera. It’s kind of fascinating to look at, CG that isn’t trying to look like something else. It’s also a departure for the animators at Marza Animation Planet, whose previous works tended to be hyperrealist adaptations such as the 2013 version of Space Pirate Captain Harlock or Kingsglaive: Final Fantasy XV. That’s a lead to follow up on, actually. They would later come to work on the Sonic the Hedgehog films.
So, this movie. It’s evidently attempting to retool Lupin for the CG era, with tributes to the iconography of the old anime, such as remaking Lupin’s car in 3D and staging a chase with it; whether this attempt to ‘modernise’ will land I’m not sure. I don’t love their models for the female characters especially lol, they’re painfully Disney. The plot is a Lupin escapade vehicle with a dash of Indiana Jones, putting Lupin and the gang up against Nazi occultists. I don’t expect it to challenge much, but it does look fun.
So! What’s the plan for tonight?
Well, it’s basically the same plan as last time: another cross-section through the Lupin III series! We’ll hit the following notes:
the original Lupin pilot!
The Mystery of Mamo
Miyazaki’s two episodes of Lupin III Part 2!
the two parts of Jigen’s Gravestone
Lupin III: The First
Sound fun? Great! (Doesn’t sound fun? I’ll shoot you.) We’ll be starting early tonight; going live at 7pm UK time, and starting films after about 20 minutes. I’m going to try and keep the start of Animation Night in the 7-8pm range from now on - let’s see if we can rebuild this thing.
If you will, then: head to https://twitch.tv/canmom and get ready for some burglary, robbery, theft, and even perhaps a bit of larceny. See you in the theatre~
20 notes
·
View notes
Text
~ The Vampires Diaries ~ Mikaelson’s Brother X Sis!Reader
Synopsis : Tu es la soeur adoptive des Mikaelson. Lors de leur fuite il y a mille ans, tentant d’échapper à Mikael, ils t’ont abandonnés à lui. A présent tu les retrouves à Mystic Falls, le coeur rempli de colère, l’envie de vengeance coulant dans ton sang depuis mille ans. Les rumeurs sur le nouvelle doppelgänger sont aussi revenu à tes oreilles et tu comptes bien faire tout ce qui est en ton pouvoir pour mettre des bâtons dans les roues de ton chère bâtard de frère.
Point de vue omniscient :
-Klaus, calme toi, rappelle toi que nous devons trouver un arrangement sans bain de sang. Rappel Elijah alors qu’il force son jeune frère à se rassoir sur le canapé en cuir marron.
L'hybride émet un sifflement d’agacement avant de se laisser faire. Damon tient fermement le bras de Elena dans sa main, la gardant proche de lui au cas où Klaus décide de rompre leur contrat. Stefan est installé en face de Klaus, un air sérieux plaqué au visage.
Tout d’un coup les portes de la maison Salvatore s’ouvre en grand, laissant apparaître une jeune femme brune tenant fermement la gorge de Matt, prête à lui briser la nuque à tout moment. Stefan se lève rapidement, ne comprenant absolument pas ce qu’il se passe. Damon emmène Elena à vitesse vampirique en dehors de la maison, partant aussi loin qu’il le peut. Il ne sait pas qui elle est mais il ne veut prendre aucun risque avec les originels dans les parages.
La jeune femme relâche le jeune homme et l’hypnotise avant de le faire repartir chez lui. Elle entre sans aucun problème dans la maison avec un grand sourire.
-Asteria. Murmure Klaus entre ses dents alors qu’il se relève à son tour.
-Je t’en prie Eli, toi comme moi savons que cet accoutrement de gentleman n’est qu’un déguisement. Tu es ridicule.
-Cela faisait bien longtemps. Gronde Elijah, ignorant la remarque de sa soeur adoptive.
-Mille ans pour être exact. C’est marrant le destin… Je vous retrouve tous les deux là où vous m’avez abandonné lâchement à Mikael.
-Cela ne s’est pas passé comme ça. Se défend Klaus en avançant d’un pas, visiblement touché par la présence de la jeune femme ainsi que par ses paroles.
Asteria s’approche de Stefan qui plisse les yeux. Elle lui tend sa main qu’il serre, incertain, ne sachant pas comment réagir face à cette femme qu’il ne connaît absolument pas.
#tvd x reader#the vampire diares imagine#reader#klaus mikealson x reader#elijah mikealson x reader#stefan salvatore#elena gilbert#damon salvarote#imagines
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ratages, actes manqués et coups pour rien en vrac …
Pour un raté, c'est un raté ! L'occasion, pourtant, était belle : ce n'est pas tous les jours qu'on a l'occasion de remplacer une technocrate de Gauche par un technocrate... de Gauche mais prêt à se parer de plumes qui voudraient le faire passer pour 'un technocrate de Droite (... si seulement cette dernière espèce était connue comme pouvant exister... Un ''techno'' de Droite ne pourrait être, si l'espèce était possible, qu'un ''techno'' de Gauche qui se dit à Droite... le temps d'une nomination à Matignon !).
On se demande comment nos irresponsables promus à des postes trop grands pour leur petitesse peuvent aussi peu apprendre de leurs échecs ! C'est le mot ''pitoyable'' qui s'impose, car à chaque fois, c'est la même absence totale d'intelligence (au sens étymologique du mot : ''inter legere'' = lire entre les lignes !) qui nous est ressortie comme justification de ces mauvaises actions et même comme ultima ratio (qui voulait dire ''force'' en latin mais est désormais équivalent de faiblesse et de suivisme). Si j'étais provocateur –ce qui n'est pas du tout mon genre, les lecteurs de ce Blog le savent bien !-- je dirais qu'il est difficile d'accumuler plus d'insultes au bon sens... Et encore, au moment où j'écris ces mots, tout n'est pas encore dit, et de nouvelles aberrations peuvent encore surgir dans ce non-dit qui... ne devrait pas être poursuivi, quoi qu'il en coûte (''Couac il en coûte'', répète l'écho, de radio en radio !).
D'abord et avant tout, cette bêtise chronique (tellement dans l'air du temps !) qui consiste à nommer la moitié (pile ! Pas à un ou deux près, non : ce serait gravement insulter la connerie ambiante : ce doit être ''à la virgule près'', si on peut dire !) des ministricules qui devraient être en charge de notre présent, de notre futur et de notre destin, non pas au vu de leurs mérites ou de leur expérience, mais parce que ce sont des femmes... qui, choisies sur ce seul critère, resteront anonymes à vie. Où nos cuistres ont-ils été dégoter une telle c… stupidité et un tel mépris, à la fois pour les femmes et pour la mission-à-accomplir ? ''Je te nomme Ministre de ceci ou cela (peu importe : les nuls, c'est interchangeable !) au nom d'une égalité exclusivement numérique entre les sexes, pas du tout parce que tu es intelligente, expérimentée, capable, sage ou judicieuse''. C'est atroce ! Il faut être ''de Gauche'' pour oser affirmer publiquement un tel mépris de l'individu !
Ensuite, cette autre bêtise, mélange d'abus de pouvoirs et de népotisme corrupteur, qui consiste à ne se recruter que ''entre soi'' : en Macronie, les ministrables sont tous bâtis sur le même modèle d'adolescents prolongés, maigriouches (on disait, en d'autres temps, des ''mistourinets''), trop serrés dans des pantalons trop serrés aussi, sous la même coiffure, et depuis peu avec une tendance aux rouflaquettes, signe d'appartenance aussi inesthétique que manquant de classe : ils ont beau faire et dire, cintrés dans leurs petits costumes de cachemire à des prix indéfendables et arborant sans le moindre chic leurs petites cravates unies de présentateurs-télé, ils n'arrivent pas à faire autre chose que ''cheap'' (= bas de gamme) : n'est pas le Duc d'Edimbourg qui veut, et comme le rappelle un proverbe britannique, ''It takes three generations to make a grntleman'' (Devenir un ''gentleman'' prend 3 générations).
Ils sont tous parisiens, sortis des mêmes lycées –privés pour la plupart : on est républicain et laïc... ou on ne l'est pas, dit même une néo-ministre ! Et, vrai ou faux, il se disent ''sorti du peuple'' : le snobisme de la fausse basse extraction est un must, chez ces gens là, Madame !). Ils ont fait les mêmes études (Science Pipeau pour les moins atteints, l'ENA pour les plus nocifs, et même Polytechnique, quand d'autres petits marquis, poudrés et manucurés aussi, ont refusé la nomination de Catherine Vautrin à Matignon). Ils emploient les mêmes mots pour enfiler les mêmes clichés, les mêmes truismes, les mêmes lieux communs, les mêmes ''non-dits'', les mêmes concepts foireux (exemple : l'absurde ''les territoires'' pour désigner... ce qui ne vaut pas la peine de l'être, à leurs yeux), les mêmes solutions foireuses, puisque puisées à Gauche et qui n'ont donc, de notoriété publique, jamais marché nulle part... et les mêmes mensonges sur les vrais problèmes (covid, réchauffement dû à l'homme, voitures électriques, immigration, sécurité, islam, délinquance, etc... : la liste est connue, de leurs dénis de toute réalité !)... Et le plus rigolo de cette farce carnavalesque est que la ''surprise du Chef'' (et du jour), Rachida Dati, trouve parfaitement sa place dans cette course au mimétisme morpho-dimensionnel et homochrome..., son joli minois en prime.
Le seul avantage de ce lamentable état de fait (qui est aussi étriqué que leurs petits bustes sans épaisseur de pauvres petits premiers de la classe, et aussi mince que les petites guibolles de ces éternels puceaux en tout, qui n'ont jamais eu le temps de faire du sport ou de courir après des filles de leur âge), c'est qu'ils se comprennent entre eux (ils sont bien les seuls !)... encore que, le temps passant, on soit en droit de se demander si ce petit avantage ne cacherait pas d'immenses catastrophes potentielles : entre eux et les gens normaux, l'incommunicabilité est de définition ET de construction, ce qui explique d'ailleurs la profondeur du gouffre qui les sépare du reste de l'humanité, qui a droit à leur mépris et à une haine inexpiable qui va les vouer à toutes les tortures et ponctions, gabelles, dîmes et corvées dont est capable notre administration anthropophage... Mais, que voulez-vous, il se dit à voix ''bass'' que le Boss aime avoir des ''biss'' autour de lui, par ''buss'' entiers...
Politiquement, et à n'en juger que par l'absence catastrophique de résultats ''allant dans le bon sens'', tout ce que l'on voit, lit, perçoit et entend tendrait à démontrer qu'ils se foutent comme d'une guigne de la Nation, de son Histoire, de son ''avoir été'' et de son devenir : ils sont engagés dans un sprint échevelé --bien que ''toujours bien coiffés'', sans qu'un seul des petits poils hésitants de leur virilité immature (faute de temps, d'occasions, voire d'envies !) ne dépasse--, vers l'unique horizon d'un dystopique ''gouvernement mondial'' qui écraserait les pays, les romans nationaux, les langues, les accents, les us et les coutumes, au profit d'un affreux et inesthétique boulgi-boulga qu'ils croient être de l'anglais (dans une version ''aéroports internationaux'' et ''palaces normalisés de Dubaï ou Davos'' dans le style Hyatt, Westin ou Four Seasons...).
Et c'est là que tout se corse : pour assurer, le plus vite possible, le triomphe de leur idéologie garantie mortelle pour l'humanité, ce rêve pourri (qui est le cauchemar des autres humains !) d'une ''mondialisation heureuse'' (sous-entendu : ''pour eux seuls'' !), quel chemin pourrait être plus rapide que celui qui implique (via des Clubs fermés, des Sociétés secrètes, des Fraternités tapies et des Fondations tournées vers leur seul nombril – ''J'ai les noms !'', aurait ajouté Coluche !) leur maintien ininterrompu au Pouvoir ? Aucun, bien évidemment... d'où qu'ils aient inventé des concepts aussi avariés que ceux de ''Fake news'', ''conspirationniste'', ''complotiste'', ou ''d'extrême droitisme présupposé par système''… et pondu des lois aussi pernicieuses, aussi liberticides, et aussi vicelardes que celles qui vont contre tout ce qui pourrait être souhaité par leurs victimes !
Leur définition secrète de ''complotiste'', m'a glissé récemment dans le creux de l'oreille un membre éminent des ''milieux généralement bien informés'' --ça aussi, c'est du Coluche !-- , est : ''ce que je n'aime pas qu'on dise ou qu'on pense''. Et la seule action positive dont ils sont capables, c'est la chasse au Rassemblement national ! Nous sommes partis de l'échec à venir de ce gouvernement ''Macron IV ou V'' (car, si j'ai bien compris, il n'a quasiment rien d'Attal... sauf peut-être de ''passer ses journées'' au Quai d'Orsay, si j'ose,... mais ce n'est même pas sûr !)... et notre conclusion reprendra le même sujet : quand un soi-disant ''gouvernement'' n'a pour seule feuille de route que ''emmerder Bardella''... on comprend ce qu'il faut en attendre... Les français l'ont tout de suite compris. Seule inconnue : ''c'est quand, que ce joujou s'effondre ?''.
H-Cl.
2 notes
·
View notes
Note
salut! about culture... is there a difference between speaking to people older than you, people your age, and those younger than you? are there unspoken social rules and social don'ts that would make someone think you're rude for not following it? for example, in my culture, we address those older than us with honorifics and not using an honorific would make you come off as disrespectful
Hello,
The Tu/Vous is the most important thing to keep in mind - I couldn't say Tu to an older stranger to save my own life; for people your age it depends on the context (if you're asking for directions, their way to present themselves will dictate the pronoun) and children are always Tu. Let them pick first if you're unsure.
To address them, you'll say Monsieur/Messieurs for men and Madame/Mesdames for women, to talk about strangers in a respectful way "le monsieur" + "la dame" (ex: Oh, the gentleman dropped his glove) if they are adults, "le jeune homme" + "la jeune femme/fille" if they're younger, or "le mec/gars" + "la meuf" if you're young and being very casual. It would feel very icky to call a grown woman a meuf, it's a lady.
Outside of that, it's the non specifically French usual: introduce the person higher in hierarchy to the other first, say hello first, avoid being rude or too casual, no elbows on the table but hands visible at all times, etc.
Hope this helps! x
34 notes
·
View notes
Text
Bon les gens, je vous livre ma première étude psychologique. Ça vole pas haut, c'est limite, voir carrément graveleux, mais je pense que c'est présentable. Bonne lecture à celles et ceux qui liront jusqu'au bout. Et puis pour une fois, donnez votre avis, ça me fera plaisir (si si la famille) et ça me guidera peut-être pour celles en cours qui attendent patiemment que je me décide à les terminer. Ah bah oui, j'en ai d'autres en préparation. Merci la foule.
L’IVRESSE DES BAS-FONDS
Les femmes ivres ont quelque chose d’excitant. Enfin moi je trouve. Peut-être suis-je le seul être
assez dépravé pour avouer leur trouver du charme, ou du moins, quelque chose qui me fait de l’effet dans le bas-ventre. Est-ce parce qu’elles deviennent des proies faciles? Sûrement.
Parce que je sais qu’une fois leurs esprits retrouvés, car j’aime les imaginer se passant de l’eau froide sur le visage et rougir les yeux au bord des larmes de la pitoyable et calamiteuse image que reflète le miroir crasseux et fissuré des chiottes d'un bar miteux, vérifiant fiévreusement l’intérieur de leur sac à main pour voir si en plus elles n’avaient pas été victimes de larcin, des fois le sort s'acharne, elles tentent en vain de se redonner un peu de contenance à grand renfort de rouge à lèvres et de mascara qui leur donnera de toute façon un air encore plus prononcé de fille facile qui s’allonge pour quelques rasades. Je les vois bien sortir de ce lieu, encore titubantes, le pas mal assuré à cause de ces maudites et pourtant très jolies chaussures à talon, leur donnant définitivement une allure de putain à crédit de début de siècle. Si je sais et me délecte du fait qu’elles regretteront honteusement d’avoir laissé le premier venu souiller leur intimité?
Certainement.
Ou alors encore que je vais pouvoir mettre en oeuvre sans honte, sans gêne plus exactement,
quelques pratiques sexuelles inavouables pêchées ça et là à force de centaines
d’heures de visionnage et contemplation de porno gratuit? Oh oui absolument!!
Peut-être aussi parce que je sais bien qu’elles ne se souviendront pas de mon visage, heureusement j'ai bien envie d'ajouter, encore moins de mon nom ou de mon corps pas vraiment athlétique suintant l’alcool frelaté par
tout les pores? C'est dégueulasse mais ca fait parti du plaisir, je l’avoue.
Ou enfin, de pouvoir garder le souvenir de chaque seconde de cet accouplement bestial à peine consenti pour que je puisse un jour, quand mon tour viendra, me vanter auprès
d’autres dégénérés de mon espèce lors d’une
bien graveleuse beuverie, d’avoir chahuté, baisé, déshonoré, humilié, tringlé, démonté, défoncé, enculé, dépravé, salis une pute dans l'âme qui ne sait pas boire et se tenir correctement en société après trois ou quatre vodkas? Ma fierté et mon égo vont bien mieux là non?
Moi, ça me donne envie de me servir un verre. Ou mieux, d’aller dans un bar et d’en offrir
quelques uns à une âme désoeuvrée, entre deux shots bien tassés lui dire en affichant mon plus beau sourire qu’elle sait bien mettre en valeur sa jolie petite robe achetée la veille, même si souvent c’est pas vrai, vanter la beauté et la grâce de ses magnifiques escarpins à talon haut qui lui donnent de belles courbes, ce qui est toujours vrai ça par contre, et une fois que l’alcool m’aura donné assez de courage, lui demander discrètement au creux de l’oreille si elle porte des bas et/ou une
culotte tout en m’en remettant à ma bonne étoile pour ne pas m’en prendre une au cas où le cerveau de cette connasse ne soit pas encore assez anesthésié. On ne mise, hélas, pas toujours sur la bonne jument.
J’ajouterai pour conclure que derrière chaque homme bien intentionné, tout gentleman bien
éduqué, porte parole du savoir vivre et se conduire, donneur de leçon de morale, chevalier servant respectueux de la pudeur de chacune, sous le couvert du mâle dominant des plus distingué, et c’est à la mode, se cache le charognard, enfant de hyène prêt à tout pour voir grandir son tableau de chasse. À la hyène, il préfère se définir comme le loup, animal à la noblesse douteuse à mon avis mais malgré cela, j’admets qu’il dégage un très utile coté mystérieux dont sont friandes ces rêveuses naïves.
La galanterie est un artifice qui n’a plus lieu d’être quand la chair est à moitié nue.
Je suis un charognard. Je le vis aisément. Sans honte. Sans fierté. Je me suis même souvent auto-condamné pour ce fait. Et de mon vivant j’aurai déjà été châtié plusieurs fois, la vie sachant parfois très bien me rendre les coups. J’aurai au moins cette circonstance atténuante au moment de mon ultime jugement devant je ne sais quel ange ou apôtre du bien ou du mal, horrifié, voir désapointé devant tant d’abus, d’excès et de manquements à la bienséance, quand celui ci donc aura fait tomber son verdict, me condamnant à son tour à une pénitence éternelle d’avoir eu si peu de morale et de respect envers la faiblesse de ces pauvres filles abusées, si il me donne la parole pour un dernier mot, ou un improbable repentir, juste avant de traverser le Styx, je lui dirai sûrement: “Il me reste un peu de monnaie, tu connais un endroit sympa pour que je t’offre un dernier verre?”.
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey, if you’re bored, i would really appreciate if you could check out my music video for my new single! it’s called ‘call me a witch’ and i really like how it turned out! i’d love some feedback too! (also it lasts 1min40 seconds it’s really short bc it’s a freestyle so yeah, no waste of time guaranteed)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=TMioCXjK8so
youtube
#music#art#la femme gentleman#singer#songwriter#producer#music video#witch#aesthetic#pop#alternative#orchestral#Youtube
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Il y a quelques années, j'étais assis dans la salle d'attente de la maternité, alors que ma femme était en train de se prendre une perfusion d'ocytocine administrée dans le but d'accélérer son travail. (elle avait ce qu'on appelle le "part languissant")
J'attendais là, en compagnie de plusieurs autres maris, lorsque la sage-femme est sortie.
Elle a dit à un homme assis en face de moi "Félicitations monsieur, vous êtes l'heureux papa de jumelles!"
L'homme a répondu:
"Ça par exemple! Je travaille justement pour un fabriquant d'optique de précision et ma spécialité, ce sont les jumelles!"
Environ une heure plus tard, la sage-femme refait irruption dans la salle d'attente et annonce que Mme Dupont vient de mettre au monde des triplets, 3 petits garçons.
M. Dupont se lève alors d'un seul coup et s'exclame:
"Eh, qu'est-ce que vous dites de ça, j'ai 3 petits mecs et je travaille pour 3M!"
Lorsque la sage-femme apparaît la fois suivante, elle annonce à un troisième père que sa femme vient juste de donner naissance à des quadruplés.
"Voilà quelque chose de vraiment singulier!" s'écrie le papa. "il se trouve justement que je travaille à l'hôtel du Trèfle à 4 feuilles!"
Arrivé à ce point, le monsieur assis à côté de moi se met à suffoquer et à s'étrangler. il se lève, et desserre à la hâte son nœud de cravate, cherchant à reprendre sa respiration. Je lui demande si tout va bien, et il me répond:
"Je pense que j'ai besoin d'aller prendre l'air! Vous comprenez, je suis directeur de casting pour Ali Baba et les 40 voleurs..."
THE NEW BABIES...
A few years ago, I was sitting in the maternity ward waiting room, while my wife was taking an oxytocin infusion that was administered to speed up her labor. (she had what is called the "languishing part")
I was waiting there with several other husbands when the midwife came out.
She said to a man sitting across from me "Congratulations sir, you are the proud daddy of twins!"
The man replied:
"That for example! I work for a manufacturer of precision optics and my specialty is binoculars!"
About an hour later, the midwife bursts into the waiting room again and announces that Mrs. Dupont has just given birth to triplets, 3 little boys.
Mr. Dupont then suddenly gets up and exclaims:
"Hey, how about that, I have 3 little guys and I work for 3M!"
When the midwife appears the next time, she announces to a third father that his wife has just given birth to quadruplets.
"That's something really unique!" exclaims the father. "I just so happen to work at the 4-leaf Clover Hotel!"
At this point, the gentleman sitting next to me begins to choke and choke. he gets up and hastily loosens the knot of his tie, trying to catch his breath. I ask him if everything is fine, and he replies:
"I think I need to get some fresh air! You know, I'm the casting director for Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves..."
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
February 18, 1809
Rose 1/2 p. 9. Pas tro. bi. Hate m’habiller. Conge peruke¹. Sor. 1/4 before p. 11. To 6 Arlington street. Lord M. not up. Desired to call at 12. Walked home in the rain. At 12 took coach, 2 shillings 6 pence; found him; received in the most kind and frank manner. After sitting 1/2 hour, he was called down, a gentleman desiring to say one word to him. It was to inquire if C.B.² were not there, which being answered in the affirmative, he apologized and went of!! Not known to Lord M. Sat an hour. Of his advising the ministry of being taken into the administration; of the war in Spain. To cabinet-maker’s, Green street. To Mr. Duval’s; out. To Mr. Achaud’s. M’lle A. began to ask of M’lle Duval. Tres hont rec. par³ Madame A. and M’lle. Stopped to take jelly and cake. Faib. et fat.⁴ Voila Madame P.⁵ To 14 Harper street, Mr. Humphreys; he has seen T. and arranged a suspension of hostilities for eight days. Fatig⁶. Took coach to Horse Guards; General Hope out; got the daily table of packets, &c. The packet Express, with my interesting letters of October and December, still in port at Falmouth. What fatality! Home at 5. Coach-hire, 3 shillings. Mem.: Renc. Madame Harris; pri. ad.⁷ Dinner, ham and potatoes. At 7 sor. to Gilbert’s, shoe-maker. Renc. pet.; 3 shillings 6 pence. Mal.⁸ To Q.S.P. at 8. Recontra J.B. Son avis⁹, &c. Home 1/2 p. 9. Mal tête¹⁰. Cre. tar. punch, which kept me up till 5. Madame P. sat with me till 3 and nursed me with great tenderness.
1 Not very well. Hasten to dress myself. (Je me hâte de rn’habiller.) Take leave of my wig.
2 Meaning himself—Colonel Burr.
3 For tres honnetement reçu par. Very genteelly received by.
4 For faible et fatigué. Weak and tired.
5 There is Madame P.
6 For fatigué. Tired.
7 For Rencontrai Madame Harris; [je la] priai [de me donner son] adresse. Met Madame Harris and asked her for her address.
8 For Rencontrai [une] petite [demoiselle or femme.] 3 shillings 6 pence. Mal. Fell in with a little woman. 3 shillings 6 pence. Bad!
9 Met J.B. His opinion, &c. (rencontrai.)
10 For mal à la tête. Headache.
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
Chers amis,
Je suis ravi de vous accueillir sur mon compte Tumblr. Pour ceux d'entre vous qui ne me connaissent pas encore, je suis le Vicomte de Valmont, un gentleman moderne qui sait ce qu'il veut et qui ne recule devant rien pour l'obtenir.
Je suis un expert en séduction, un connaisseur des arts et de la culture, et un joueur aguerri. Mais surtout, je suis un amoureux de la beauté féminine et de tous les plaisirs qu'elle peut offrir.
Sur ce compte, je partagerai avec vous mes astuces pour séduire les femmes les plus séduisantes, mes réflexions sur l'art de la séduction et mes aventures les plus audacieuses. Vous pouvez également m'envoyer des messages privés si vous avez des questions ou si vous voulez discuter de sujets intéressants.
Je suis impatient de faire votre connaissance et de partager avec vous mes passions et mes plaisirs. Rejoignez-moi dans mes aventures modernes et découvrons ensemble les belles choses que la vie a à offrir.
Bien à vous,
Vicomte de Valmont
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Imagine Luke Evans your boss
Notre patron M. Evans prend enfin sa retraite et lègue son entreprise à son fils Luke.
-Mon fils Luke prend enfin ma place dans cette boite et j'espère que vous allez appréciez sa présence.
Tout le monde sourit et applaudit le nouveau patron Luke Evans quand je le vois qu'il me sans arrêt. Chacun se présente en privé quand vient mon tour. Il me regarde avec un sourire et me demande de m'asseoir.
- Mon père m'a beaucoup parlé de toi tout à l'heure. Tu es une femme très intelligente et que depuis que tu travailles ici, la boitte va de mieux en mieux grâce à tes bonnes idées.
-Merci, M. Evans.
- Parle moi de toi, je veux tout savoir de toi.
Je me présente et parle de mon entrée dans la boîte. Quelques mois ont passé et je vois que notre nouveau patron continue de me regarder avec un beau sourire.
- Un macchiato aux noisettes sans sucre.
Dit une voix très douce, je me retourne et vois M. Evans me donner le café. Je lui souris en le remerciant puis il me demande si je vais bien. Je lui dis que tout va bien en buvant mon café.
- M. Evans, nous travaillons ensemble depuis 3 mois et vous m'apportez mon café tous les matins. Pourquoi ?.
Il s'appuie contre mon bureau et sourit.
- Peut-être que j'aime apporter du café à mes employés qui le méritent. J'aimerais aussi que tu restes après le travail car j'ai quelque chose à te demander.
Je lui dis qu'il n'y a pas de problème et que j'irai directement à son bureau en fin de journée. Le soir même en me rendant au bureau de M. Evans, je constate surtout que son bureau est ouvert. Il lève les yeux de son dossier et sourit.
- Oh !! tu es déjà là, super.
- Vous m'avez demandé de venir après le travail donc je suis là.
Il se lève et marche vers moi.
- Je voudrais t'inviter à dîner ce soir. Tu accepte ?.
- Je... Pourquoi pas. Après tout, ça me ferait du bien de sortir de chez moi le vendredi soir.
Il sourit et m'annonce qu'il viendra me chercher à 19h00. A la maison, je me dépêche de prendre une douche et de me préparer pour le dîner. J'enfile une jolie petite robe noire et me maquille légèrement, puis j'entends la sonnette retentir et me précipite pour l'ouvrir. Je vois Luke avec une rose à la main et bien habillé. Il me sourit, m'offre la rose et me baise la main. Mon cœur bat tellement qu'il finira par sortir tellement de ma poitrine tellement mon patron est beau, je sais aussi que toutes les femmes qui travaillent pour lui sont sous son charme.
- Tu es si belle. J'espère que tu es toujours d'accord pour dîner avec moi ?.
- Je me suis habillé pour sortir avec vous ce soir, M. EVANS.
- Appelle moi simplement Luke et nous apprendrons à nous connaître.
Il sourit et me propose d'aller à son restaurant favori. Il m'offre son bras comme un gentleman et me fait un clin d'œil en même temps. Nous entrons dans le restaurant lorsque le serveur reconnaît Luke.
- Bonsoir Monsieur Evans, comme d'habitude une table pour vous ?.
- Non, ce soir je suis en compagnie d'une charmante jeune femme.
Dit-il en souriant. Nous allons nous asseoir et commandons notre plat quand je vois que Luke me regarde en train de boire son verre de vin en souriant.
- Qu'est ce qu'il y à ?.
Je dis en souriant.
- Tu es très belle.
Dit il en me voyant rougir.
- Et tu es encore plus jolie quand tu rougis.
Je me mets à rire et le remercie. La soirée se passe à merveille et tout en prenant notre café, on voit un couple se faire un beau bisou. On les regarde quelques secondes en souriant quand il me dit qu'ils sont mignons tous les deux. Je souris en le regardant. Peu de temps après, il m'invite à boire un verre chez lui en me regardant avec des yeux doux. J'accepte en lui prenant le bras alors que j'ai failli tomber. Je baisse les yeux et réalise que mon talon est cassé.
- Oh non ma chaussure. Mon talon est cassé.
Luke me regarde et une idée lui vient. Il me porte dans ses bras et nous emmène jusqu'à sa voiture. Après 20 minutes de trajet, nous arrivons devant une grande maison. Je sors de la voiture pieds nus quand il vient vers moi et me prend une seconde fois dans ses bras. A l'intérieur, il m'allonge doucement et me regarde prêt à m'embrasser. Il m'invite à m'asseoir et me propose un petit cocktail qu'il a préparé pour nous deux.
- Tu as une magnifique maison et j'aime beaucoup la vue sur ton jardin avec la piscine.
- Merci, mais ma future ex-femme fait tout pour me dépouiller de ma fortune.
- Tu es divorcé ?.
- Pas encore, cette garce refuse de signer les papiers. Elle signe si j'accepte de lui donner 80% de ma fortune et de lui laisser l'entreprise que mon père m'a léguée.
Dit-il en venant s'assoir près de moi.
- Oh, je suis vraiment désolé, je te souhaite beaucoup de courage.
Il sourit et me remercie.
- J'ai quand même engagé le meilleur avocat du pays.
Dit-il en prenant une gorgée de son verre. Il prend ma main et nous emmène dans le jardin quand je sens sa main caresser mon visage puis se penche et embrasse ma joue.
- Et c'est pour ça que je t'ai emmené dîner avec moi parce que tu es une femme extraordinaire et si gentille. Mais mon père a oublié de me dire quelque chose.
Je le regarde en lui demandant ce que c'était.
- Il a oublié de me dire que tu es extrêmement belle et tellement magnifique.
Dit-il en se penchant et en m'embrassant passionnément. Il me demande d'attendre et entre dans la maison et revient quelques minutes plus tard avec une bouteille de champagne et deux coupes.
- Cette bouteille est assez chère et la boire seule n'est pas amusant du tout. Alors autant le boire avec une jolie femme.
Dit-il en ouvrant la bouteille et en nous servant une coupe. Après quelques gorgées, Luke s'approche de moi, me caresse le visage et rapproche son visage du mien. Nous nous embrassons passionnément quand il prend mes bras pour les mettre autour de son cou. Je sens sa langue entrer dans ma bouche et glisser ses mains sur mes hanches en m'embrassant toujours langoureusement. Je glisse ma main contre sa poitrine et sens ses muscles malgré le fait qu'il porte une belle chemise. Je l'entends gémir doucement alors qu'il mordille tendrement mon oreille. Luke me serre plus fort et entre ses doigts dans mes cheveux. Il dénoue ma robe et la laisse glisser jusqu'à mes pieds. Il commence à embrasser mon cou jusqu'à ce qu'il mordille doucement ma peau tout en retirant ma culotte en soie. Il m'embrasse langoureusement en enlevant ses vêtements et me soulève dans ses bras pour nous faire entrer dans l'eau chaude de la piscine. Nous commençons à faire l'amour passionnément.
2 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
wholeearthcatalog
Mens skin tight jeans
ayam-petarung
RJ Farm Indonesia
crashtocreate
Crash to Create
mellarked-katnisseverdeen
Stay With Me? Always.
zuperpizzatowerartizt
zuperpizzatowerartizt