#kylo x abi
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Like Phantoms, Forever
Chapter Seventeen | The Shadow of the Past
Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader
Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight.
While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.
What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death
Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA
*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!
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Word count: 3.6k
Chapter-specific CW: description of injury, pharmaceutical drugs, mentions of death, light ptsd
A/N: listen... I know I'm slow to update, but this chapter is hands down one of my favorite ones so far, so I needed it to be p e r f e c t. I also uploaded ch. 2 of my vampire!kylo fic, so there's a little extra something for you guys. enjoy!
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When you finally woke, the first thing you saw was the soft glow of the twin suns peaking over the horizon, spilling through the blinds and onto the infirmary floor. For a moment, there was peace. A piece of time filled with utter tranquility as you blinked the sleep away from your eyes.
But it passed. A haze fell over you, dulling your senses like an old knife as it carved into a bone. The clarity of your vision faltered, producing a double image of every item of furniture in the room. Various machines beeped around you, a constant, low drone in your ears. The white light of the overhead lamps seemed blinding to your sensitive eyes.
Hanging beside you was a green bag, feeding into a translucent line that stopped in the crease of your elbow. Below the bag was a screen, flashing with words in Aurebesh that were too small for you to make out.
Yet, something else was missing. Something that had grown overly familiar to you in the past few days. There was no pain. No pounding in your head, or ache in your shoulder. It was gone, but not eliminated. It had only been buried, locked away deep inside of you, held back by the cocktail of chemicals coursing through you.
Over the drone of the monitors, you could faintly hear a hushed conversation, happening somewhere on the other side of the white curtain that separated your cot from the only other one in the infirmary. Though you couldn’t see them, you recognized the owners of the voices immediately.
“You understand my concerns though, don’t you?” Master Skywalker asked, exasperated.
“Yes, I do. But that’s exactly why we need to go together,” Ben said. “You said it yourself—it’s too risky to open up the Academy to the New Republic’s surveillance. For all we know, they’ve already been compromised. You can’t just leave everyone’s safety in their hands.”
“If what you said is true, then the Empire already knows where we are. Every second that passes is on borrowed time.” Though only a whisper, Master Skywalker’s irritation was clear.
The statement hung in the air. Guilt crashed into you like a tidal wave, pulling you under the surface. This entire mess was your fault. It was your father that had laced the food supply and endangered your peers, and though you had killed him, you didn’t feel victorious. Instead, all you felt was a gnawing pit in your stomach, slowly filling with shame and regret.
The gravity of your actions weighed on you, crushing your chest under its enormity. To wake from a nightmare and find that it had all been real. He was dead, either lying cold in an unmarked grave or reduced to ashes, locked away in a storage closet inside one of the many decaying Imperial bases scattered across the Outer Rim. Knowing that his blood coated your hands made you sick, but even now, you couldn’t be sure that it had been your hands. It was greater than that, an act fueled by something larger than yourself, a force more powerful than all of the suns in the galaxy.
You pinched your eyes shut, trying to ignore the memory as it played behind your lids. Ben’s voice served as an adequate distraction.
“And that’s why it’s crucial for you to stay here,” he said. “Master, I’m your most experienced student. I’ve spent nearly my entire life training to become a Jedi Knight. Let me prove to you that I’m worthy of that title.” His demand turned into a plea, beyond that of a pupil seeking approval from his mentor.
“I admire your spirit, Ben. I really do. And that is why I’m trusting you with the safety of my students.”
Disappointment sank through you. The exact scenario you had dreaded from the beginning was coming to fruition and you were powerless to stop it. As unfair as it was, Master Skywalker’s logic was sound—especially considering his prior suspicions of your close relationship with Ben. Nevertheless, your heart ached.
An unamused laugh rumbled in Ben’s chest. “Some responsibility that is. Protecting people who each have a lightsaber of their own, and enough sense to know how to use them correctly. I’m honored, really.”
“You misunderstand me–”
“No, I understand perfectly,” Ben hissed. “I’m capable enough to track her down halfway across the galaxy and bring her to safety, but not enough to take her on an authorized trip to Ilum—which as far as we know, has been deserted by all civilization for centuries–”
“How did you do it?” Master Skywalker interrupted.
“Do what?” Ben asked, his voice guarded.
“Exactly what you said. How you found her, trapped in an abandoned mining facility halfway across the galaxy. How did you do it?”
At that, you pried your eyes open again, watching their shadows move behind the curtain. You had asked him the same question and never received an answer.
Ben hesitated for a long moment before finally answering. “I’ve been having these…dreams.”
“Dreams?” Master Skywalker asked. “What kind of dreams?”
“It varies. Most of the time, the details are a blur. But other times, they’re vivid—almost real.”
“How so?”
Ben let out a shaky breath. “I’m not sure. All I know is that the night she was taken, just after I had fallen asleep, I had one. But this time, it felt less like a dream, and more like a vision.”
Despite Ben pausing for Master Skywalker’s response, he never received one. So, he filled the silence. “It felt like I was there, watching her get dragged out of her bed by Ren. But no matter how much I wanted to stop him, I was helpless. A bystander trapped inside my own mind.”
“And in this ‘dream’, you saw where they took her?” Master Skywalker’s question was equal parts cynical and weary.
“No,” Ben said. “I can’t really explain it, I just…” He paused, choosing his next words carefully. “Felt it.”
The ambiguity of his answer left you unsated, but seemingly was enough to conclude Master Skywalker’s interrogation. He was wise, more knowledgeable in the Force than you could ever wish to be. Perhaps all of this could be explained by the inexplicable ways of the Force—just like your connection with Ben. Mysteries best left unknown, you supposed.
“I sense that your feelings are clouded, Ben. I worry about you,” the Jedi Master said quietly.
Reluctantly, Ben replied, “There’s no need to.”
“These dreams you’re having are…unusual. Perhaps the Force is trying to warn you.”
“Warn me about what?” His tone was curt, more bold than yours would ever be when speaking to your Master.
You squirmed under the layers of blankets, suddenly uneasy about where this conversation was leading.
“Everything. The danger of forming attachments, the fear of loss. My own Master taught me these lessons—it’s only right that I pass them on to you.”
“That’s insane,” Ben scoffed, shifting his weight. “And I would’ve done the same for any of my classmates.”
“Really? You would’ve flown across the galaxy without my permission if, say, Voe had gone missing?”
The question must have struck a nerve, receiving no response from Ben. The vitriol for Voe that had been stowed away during the chaos quickly resurfaced, stronger than ever. You imagined what she would say if she knew the circumstances, that your father worked for the Empire this entire time. It was just the fuel she needed to turn your peers against you—once and for all.
A venomous feeling wrapped around your heart, sinking its claws deep into your flesh. Your pulse rose, and as it did, the machine recording each heartbeat grew louder, more rapid.
“Is that?” Ben asked in a hushed voice.
“She is awake,” 4-3B announced from the other end of the infirmary.
In the seconds that followed, you debated whether it was better to pretend that you were still sleeping, or give in and fully wake up. With little time to decide, you settled on a mix of both, inhaling deeply as you lazily rubbed the sleep from your eyes with the heel of your palms. As much as you would have liked for them to continue their conversation, you also knew that this was unavoidable—unless you could magically induce yourself into a coma.
Metal fingers wrapped around the white curtain as Master Skywalker pulled it back, revealing him and his nephew, both with unkempt hair and dark circles etched under their eyes.
“Hey kid, how are you feeling?” Master Skywalker asked, offering you a tender smile.
Ben’s gentle, brown eyes landed on you instantly, scanning your face. Your cheeks burned under his gaze. Stars, you missed him. Close to you, holding you. But now wasn’t the time.
You cleared your throat. “I’ve been better,” you croaked, reaching for the pitcher of water beside you. Unfortunately for you, it was set on the table by your injured arm, the one that was still wrapped in bacta patches. Weakly, you gripped the handle of it, disappointed to find that the bacta treatments had only healed your bones—not your strength.
It took all your effort to raise the straw to your lips. Water spilled from the spout of the pitcher and onto your blankets, shocking your warm skin beneath. Before you dropped it, Ben’s hand clasped onto yours and steadily guided it to your lips.
“Thank you,” you said in a small voice, pinching the straw between your fingers and taking a few, long sips of the cold water.
Ben smiled and nodded in response before setting the pitcher down. “Let me get you a new blanket, too.”
“No, it’s okay. I already have too many as it is.” You managed a smile as you pinched the stack of fabric covering you.
“Since you arrived, your temperature has been below the normal parameters. In order for you to recover in a timely manner, I have placed multiple exothermic blankets on you and adjusted the heat settings in the infirmary,” 4-3B explained, shuffling over to your bed. It was holding a sleek, silver tray with an array of fresh bacta patches spread over it.
“I’m getting you a new blanket, whether you like it or not,” Ben said, already scouring the room for a fresh one.
“Any updates, Threebee?” Master Skywalker asked, peering at the new patches as the droid set them down on your table.
“By my calculations, as well as her impressive response to the initial bacta treatments, she should recover fully in the next week.”
“Oh, that’s wonderful!” he said, beaming at you. “As soon as you’re feeling up to it, you and Ben will go to Ilum. Now more than ever, you need a lightsaber that is attuned to you.”
You blinked. Did you mishear him? Or had he really changed his mind in the last five minutes? Behind Master Skywalker stood Ben, a smile ghosting his lips. You wondered if his heart was beating as fast as yours was.
Embarking on this journey seemed mundane in comparison to what you had survived. But despite the unknowns that laid ahead—particularly the looming threat of being hunted by the First Order—there was also anticipation, excitement. To experience adventure with Ben. A taste of the life that, for now, was not an option—and likely would never be. It was all you had ever wanted, and it was finally happening.
“Artoo will accompany you two in my place,” Master Skywalker added.
“What?” Ben said, returning with a folded blanket in his hands. “Does Geegee not meet your standards?”
“I hardly see how having two droids instead of one is a hindrance.”
Your eyes darted between the two men. “Excuse me, who’s Artoo?” you asked sheepishly.
“He’s my astromech unit,” Master Skywalker answered before looking at Ben. “And he will be going with you, or you won’t go at all.”
Ben shook his head in disbelief as he peeled the damp blanket back and draped the new one in its place. “Fine.”
Master Skywalker flashed a wry smile at his nephew before clearing his throat. “Now Ben, Threebee, if you both don’t mind, I’d like to speak with her. Alone.”
Ben’s eyes flicked between yours and Master Skywalker’s before he nodded reluctantly, turning his back to the both of you and letting the door slam shut behind him. You winced at the sound.
“Of course, Master. I will come back later,” the droid said, abandoning the tray of patches and hobbling behind the curtain, out of sight.
Ignoring his nephew’s rather dramatic exit, Master Skywalker pulled a chair closer to the bed and sat down, smoothing out the front of his robes. Blood thrummed in your ears and your head pounded as you propped yourself up on your elbows, biting down on your lip when you shifted your weight onto your injured arm. Whatever analgesic was infusing through the line was quickly neutralized when you started moving.
Swinging your legs over the edge of the bed, you faced him, avoiding his gaze. Without him saying a word, you already knew exactly what conversation would ensue.
The two of you were quiet for a moment, chests rising and falling with every breath, before he clasped his hands around yours, squeezing firmly. In the silence, his gray eyes spoke volumes, carrying a heavy weight.
“I cannot overstate how grateful I am for your safe return,” he said, his lips trembling as he pressed them into a tight line. “And I feel it’s necessary that I apologize.”
Your hand burned between his—not from discomfort, but rather from the contrast of heat against your cold skin. 4-3B had been right about your body temperature. The sensation made your condition seem real, less like clinical words being thrown around.
“You have nothing to apologize for, Master,” you said, shaking your head. “It wasn’t your fault. It was no one’s fault but my own.”
He sighed through his nose. “I was afraid you would say that.”
Taken aback, you remained quiet. It was the truth—all of this was your fault. If it weren’t for your lunatic father stalking you and wreaking havoc upon your life, you wouldn’t be in this situation, sitting across from your apologetic Master, heavily medicated in an infirmary. Truthfully, this was the best case scenario. No one else was hurt—excluding, of course, those who had impeded your efforts to get back to the Academy. But collateral damage was a consequence of war, which by the looks of it, was on the horizon. It was only a matter of time before the First Order resurfaced. Then, it would be your responsibility to help eliminate them, to snuff out the smoldering remains of the Empire.
Master Skywalker continued. “I failed to protect you—to protect all of my students. This is my burden to bear, not yours.” Releasing your hand, he leaned back, his knuckles white against the arms of the chair. “Lately, things have been…clouded. I can no longer rely on the Force alone for insight, but I will find other means to protect the Academy. I promise you this—from now on, you will be safe here. Always.”
You nodded in understanding. But there was more to the story, more that he didn’t know. Ben had only told him what he had seen—the rekindled power of the Empire. It was your responsibility to tell him what happened on Zeffo, admit to what you did. Sweat gathered in your palms at the memory of your father’s death, the image of him lying lifeless on the ground burned into your eyes. What would Master Skywalker think of you when he knew? Would this be the offense that broke the dam? Expulsion seemed like the best outcome of making this confession.
“Master, there’s something else you should know,” you said, afraid to raise your voice above a whisper.
His shoulders sagged. “I know. The Empire is rising again.” His defeat was tangible, as if he had single-handedly let down the entire galaxy. In fairness, you couldn’t imagine how he must have felt, given his role in destroying it nearly thirty years ago. A rebel with an unbreakable spirit, now forced to watch helplessly as insurgents breathed life back into the entity he had fought to dismantle.
“Ben told me,” he sighed. “I’ve already contacted my sister in Republic City. The New Republic special forces will handle this.”
“It’s not that—well, it is that, too. There’s more.” The words were heavy on your tongue, sticking like molasses. A tiny voice in your head reminded you that you were not obligated to tell him—you weren’t obligated to tell anyone. But the nagging feeling in your gut told you that honesty was the only path to inner peace.
“The person responsible for this operation wasn’t just some Imperial zealot. It was my dad. My own father did this to me.”
Master Skywalker clenched and released his jaw, digesting the information. “That’s…” He paused. “Terrible.”
You nodded in agreement, unsure what to say.
“I imagine that must have been very difficult to cope with,” he added.
“It was. My entire life changed in an instant, and honestly, I don’t really know if I’ll ever come to terms with it,” you said, swallowing the lump forming in your throat. Master Skywalker watched you from his seat, completely silent.
“But it doesn’t matter now. He’s dead.” You paused, hesitating one last time. “I killed him.”
A heavy silence fell over the room, making the air thick and difficult to breathe. You let out a shaky breath in relief. The burden was gone, but it was short-lived. Involuntary tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, burning your skin.
When he didn’t respond, you scrambled to articulate something to soften what you had just admitted. But what could you say? The Jedi were peacekeepers, protectors of the light—and more and more, you found yourself straying from its path.
“Master, I-I’m a monster,” you whispered, warm tears pouring over.
“What he did to you wasn’t right. Acting out of self-defense does not make you a monster,” he finally said, his voice calm.
You lowered your gaze to your hands, now resting in your lap. “Only I wasn’t acting in self-defense. When I asked him where my mother was, he admitted to murdering her. He compared her to a sick animal.” Blood boiled under your skin at the memory. “And when he said that, I wanted to hurt him—more than I’ve ever wanted to do anything. I wanted him to feel the way I did, how my mom felt when she died by his hand.”
With narrowed eyes, he stared at you, an inscrutable emotion written across his face. Not one of malice or disappointment, but something akin to curiosity.
Releasing a long breath, you added, “I wanted justice.”
“I can see why,” he said, resting his jaw on his metal hand. “The conflict you felt is…familiar to me.”
Of all the reactions you had anticipated, empathy was not one of them.
“It is?” you asked.
“Yes. Decades have passed now, but the feeling still lingers. The disappointment. The anguish.” His gaze was distant as he spoke, silently reliving his own experience.
“What did you do?” you asked. “I mean—what did you do to get rid of it?”
He drew in a long breath before exhaling with a renewed energy, his eyes brighter. “Time passed. Meditation helped me organize my thoughts, sort through my emotions before tucking them away in their designated spaces…” His thought trailed off into oblivion, but you didn’t want to intrude. He was being gracious enough by sharing at all.
“It was my father, too,” he said reluctantly. “The source of my conflict, my sorrow—it was him.”
His confession ignited hope in your chest, a hope that you, too, could be reprieved.
“I won’t bore you with the details, but his actions could be categorized in a similar way as your father’s. Heinous acts, hurting the people he once loved…” He pressed a finger over his mouth in thought, twisting his peppered beard between his fingers. “For a long time, I blamed myself. I thought that if I had just known earlier, then somehow I could’ve stopped him. Put an end to his cruelty.”
“And did you?” you asked, lost in his story. “Were you able to stop him?”
He let out a soft sigh. “In a way, yes. But the darkness had its claws in him, and there was no absolution for him in this world. In the end, he taught me a lesson—one that I will carry with me forever. Just as you will, too.”
Admiration filled your chest. Throughout the galaxy, Luke Skywalker was a legend, a myth told by firesides and to children before they fell asleep. But he was alive—a living, breathing being with more adventures in his pocket than most would have in a lifetime. And here he was, in the flesh, relating to your experience.
“Master, teach me how to process these feelings. I need your guidance, now more than ever,” you pleaded, curling your fists around the blankets in your lap.
“And you will have it. But first, you need to rest. Strengthening your mind will require all of your energy—your body will need to be healed before you are able to,” he said, standing from his seat and placing a comforting hand on your shoulder. “Until then, try to find solace in knowing that, in their own ways, your parents are at peace.”
With that, he left, easing the door closed behind him. A calmness washed over you, drenching you in a radiant warmth, soaking through your skin and bones. Through the clouds came slivers of light—thin and feeble, but unyielding. A sunset falling beyond the horizon, only to give life to the stars glowing in the night sky.
This was the lesson. Without darkness, the light was impossible.
#I even managed to find a gif that has a heart monitor in the background I AM A GOD#ben solo#ben solo x reader#kylo ren#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren x y/n#kylo ren x you#ben solo x fem!reader#ben solo x you#star wars#star wars fanfiction#star wars self insert#kylo ren smut#ben solo smut#my writing
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rey. she / her / hers. born sometime in 15 aby. approximately 20.
canon divergences
not a palpatine. rey is in no way related to sheev palpatine ; she is the child of two nobodies who sold her on jakku, ostensibly for drinking & gambling money. it is something rey had blocked out of her memory and lost to time. she held hope for years that they would return to jakku and take her back home with them, a hope only smashed by the unkind words of kylo ren.
accidentally force pulled her parent’s spacecraft back to jakku. the shuttle had been rising over the orange sand dunes and into the bright blue sky, and rey - unthinking, young, terrified - had reached out for it. she had pulled. she could not have known that it was going to end in smoke & flame due to a strong unintentional use of the force.
does not call herself a skywalker. though she comes to view luke & leia as family, rey opts instead to remain rey with no surname.
non-romantic force dyad. being a force dyad with ben solo does not carry any romantic connotations or end with it. instead, it leads to struggles with the idea of being the one assigned to the side of the light. she is far from a perfect person - all of the scrappers on jakku had done horrible things to survive - and the pressure of being the light in some mystical force duo is not something she feels suited for.
forged a duble bladed lightsaber for herself. using parts from her quarterstaff, rey created a saber that meant she could use the fighting style she had learned throughout her life with the classic weapon of a force user.
struggles with internal components of the force. while rey is exceptionally strong with the force, this often manifests in physical manipulations that she sometimes has difficulty controlling. things may vibrate around her as she becomes angry. she has used force lightning and pulls without intending to cause damage on several occasions. she lacks control and struggles with the internal calm and focus required to harness such things. this is a long, uphill battle.
a pilot. when with the resistance, rey can often be found hanging out with and around the pilots. on jakku, from childhood to adulthood, rey spent the peak hours of heat and the coldest ones of the night peering up at the sky and dreaming of someday flying away. the discarded helmet of an x-wing pilot had been one of her most prized possessions. how could she be around so many of the beautiful ships and not spend all her time around them? rey likes helping with repairs and begging joyrides off of the pilots at every possible opportunity.
touch averse at first. life on jakku does not create someone used to casual or friendly touch. for a while, rey is someone who does not give out or receive touch much at all. she isn’t used to it being a good thing. this is something that slowly shifts until flipping entirely by the defeat of the first order ; rey becomes an extremely touchy person, reveling in the comfort of friendly little touches and nudges that she had not known for most of her life.
was not saved by ben. rey did die in the final push against the first order, but it was not ben solo who brought her back to life. it was instead leia’s final act before becoming one with the force.
after the defeat of the first order, rey does leave. she returns to her friends with the resistance very often, but spends a great deal of her time travelling from planet to planet to find and aid force sensitive children - and any lost or abandoned child in general. the point isn’t raising them as jedi, just making sure they are somewhere safe and cared for and provided for in a way she never was.
does not call herself a jedi. in truth, rey thinks the idea of the jedi and sith is a dangerous one that only breeds trouble. do one bad thing and you are evil, apparently? it doesn’t track to rey, and she abandons trying to be either. she’s just rey. that should be enough.
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Ch. 5 Escape - Baneful Royal (Kylo Ren x Reader)
[A/N] so the last time I had posted for this fic, it was a hot minute ago. And when I say hot minute, I mean about close to a year. SO with that being said, here is the 5th chapter. This one was kinda hiding underneath a bunch of commission files so finding it now was very nice. If you would like to read more Kylo fics from me, I have a Masterlist link in my bio, as well as a A03 and wattpad under the same name. Thank y’all for reading <3
There was no time to feel guilt.
There was no time to feel anything.
You were ushered without a thought. Running on autopilot, the disturbing sounds of a city thrown into chaos were drowned out with your focus elsewhere. Cate’s arm was looped into yours, the cloaked figure of Kylo walked in front of you without assistance or care. The deed was done, and the next step was approaching soon.
Pushed into a carrier, it wasn't until you felt the deep rumble of the ship coming to life that you finally came back to the present. Seated and strapped in, you glanced around you to see Cate at her place behind you. On her side, two guards of Ren stood like stone, waiting patiently. For what, you didn't know.
Voices spit out necessary actions for takeoff, with a confirmation greeting. A captain’s seat sat in the middle, with Kylo planted firmly. With each acknowledgment of action, he nodded. A shake, and you were off into the air and into the atmosphere.
“What’s happening now?” You turned to Cate. “Where are we going?”
You knew of your certain protection, but nothing else after. Had you left when the Colonel told you to, maybe you wouldn't have been labeled a possible enemy to the planet. Gone off quietly, you might have still been on Naboo. You showed yourself rather idiotically. With a hand out in offer, any chance of going home was thrown out the window.
Cate looked straight ahead blankly, ignoring your asking gaze.
“I said where are we going?” You asked. Ignored, you watched as Cate’s pupils flashed quickly to her side, towards the knights. Turning back in your chair, you realized. You sabotaged her mission, and any other advice or word could further deepen a possible and serious “demotion”.
Watching as Naboo faded away in the side windows, you were startled with Kylo's sudden announcement. “On our arrival, we are to ignite engines for light speed on route to Coruscant immediately.”
“This wasn't part of the plan.” You said aloud, shocked. “I didn’t agree to this part.”
“Then what was, councilwoman?” Kylo called to the reluctant voice. “Had you listened, we wouldn’t be taking the actions that we are now.”
“I wonder with whose help.” You spat back. The newly deceased governor was right. There was an argument wherever you went.
“The option to go back and drop you off is always open. But, I hope you realize that actions will have consequences.” He stated, almost tauntingly. “It would be a shame to see your head on a spike.”
“A favor was given for the good of the people.”
“They won’t see it that way.” He sneered, leather glove squeaking. “The truth is soon to come out. Where are you going to go when that does happen?”
It was best to shut up.
With many to witness, the assassination of a government official was without a doubt a high profiled crime to commit. To accompany the ill news, the revelation of a colleague and former head of state with her hand in his murder would surely send embarrassment to the planet. More harm was caused than good.
Maybe it was the smartest idea to escape.
You shut your eyes tightly as you the grim thought of Abie and Sara finding out. You lied to them both. Hatred was a driving factor, but not murder. You prayed that they could one day forgive you. It was probably going to take a long time to do.
You saw the faint reflection of the Finalizer bounce off the glass panels, indicating your destination was close.
“The Supreme Leader’s secondary vessel requesting permission to dock, copy.”
“Permission granted.” A modulated voice rang out. “Prepare to unload.”
The last First Order ship you had visited was nothing compared to this. The vast high ceilings towered over all, with as many small ships docked neatly into the walls. Officials ran amok, hurrying to finish a job or to clear the way. The ship jostled as it landed, causing you to tussle in your seat.
“Wow.” You whispered.
“I believe it is time to disembark, councilwoman.” You heard Kylo say, taking off his seatbelt. You did the same, standing up as gracefully as you could.
You felt the faint brush of Kylo’s cloak graze your leg. Standing next to you, but not fixated on you. His presence felt overpowering, like he had done this many times before. The adrenaline was still rushing in you, garnering you to shake and quiver slightly.
As the hatch opened, you saw two single file lines on either side of stormtroopers. They stood with their blasters in hands, looking straight ahead in respect. As you inched forward, you caught eye of a special trooper. Tall and donned in shining silver, this stormtrooper was like no other. A black cape hung over one shoulder, with a red line trimmed on its hem. With no eyes to look into, you could only imagine what kind of a being they were. Their air was grand, big shoes that were filed with fear and respect.
“Welcome back, sir.” They said to Kylo. Their feminine tone was evident in their voice, clear and orderly. You had no thoughts, except one. If they are a she, then that is one big woman.
Still in awe, you almost missed the silver commander’s next question. “Have we acquired the subject?”
“Affirmative, Captain.” Kylo replied, walking next to her.
“Hold on, subject?!” You called out, still two steps behind them. You tried to rush to Kylo, desperate for answers. Before you could reach him, gloved hands pulled you by your forearms and held you back. You glanced at them both, visors staring down menacingly at you. With Cate’s footsteps echoing off the ramp, the image of her strode in front of your person. Still blank.
“You are to be escorted onto the ship until we hit lightspeed.” Was all she said before turning and joining Kylo.
Your head dropped. All of this felt fake. Nothing of it felt real at all. Not even an hour ago, you were home. With a skip in your step about the future and being free of the thorn in your side, only to be replaced with another. Slowly and painfully, it was going to be hard to dig this one out.
A First Order vessel. Shooting out of the sector and into the inner Rim. The death of a political official and your life as you know it. All within a short amount of time. The time to process it began as you were escorted out of the hangar and into the ship itself.
You felt like you were hit with a ton of bricks.
The hallways bustled with every employee of the Order, rushing to unknown locations. The memo of lightspeed must’ve been ordered quickly. All of their heads were down as you passed them, averting their eyes from walking cloaks of darkness on either of your side.
You clasped your hands in front, careful to take note from those around you. You glanced up at the Knights, whose boots clanked almost like the Supreme Leader’s. There was emptiness to their step, like strictly programmed droids who were on the way to the next task.
“Are you both allowed to talk to me?” You asked, looking up at one of them. They continued in silence. “I see. Maybe a vow of silence.”
You felt the need to press further. It looked like a risky attempt to talk to monsters carrying you to your death. Risky, or maybe sad.
“Those weapons look menacing. Serious damage to anyone that crosses you.”
Silence.
“Good, I didn’t want to talk to you bucketheads anyways.” You muttered, rather disappointed from the one sided talk.
You heard the same leather squeak from them like you did with Kylo earlier. You looked down at one gripping his weapon rather tightly. You swallowed, yet taking another que. At least it relieved some of the stress you were carrying, saying that. Sad that they were in your path of insult, but then again, you would swiftly be met with a blade in your throat.
The tight hallway grew to a broader area, full with more First Order personnel. Stormtroopers guarded every corner, standing at full attention. The knights beelined you to two sets of blast doors, with people bustling about. Most walked in and out, in pairs or with a holopad in hand. When coming into their sight, there was another hush among them. But this time, there were slivers of notice. Gawked at wasn’t new to you, but the setting was.
The blast doors opened, revealing the bridge of the ship. Various stations were hard at work operating the ins and outs of the ship’s defense and operation. So focused, there was no acknowledgment of your presence. There was a quick conclusion that if they were looking anywhere besides their screen, they would be shot on sight.
Ahead of you were the giant windows out looking at Naboo. It felt like a screen, seeing your home from miles above the surface. Growing bigger as you were walked further in, you couldn't help but tear up just a little.
These conflicting feelings of justifying your dark deed for the good of the planet and your own wounded morals clashed against one another, fighting for the dominance of your stand. You had sickened you, the need to fill your own selfish gain. Moment of passion destroyed your life as you had known it. Now it was time to pay the consequences, but stubborn as you were, it was going to be hard to accept it.
“You are to wait here. Our Master will join shortly.” One Knight croaked, voice startling you out of your moment of sentiment.
They backed up some, keeping their distance. The blast doors opened again, this time the flamed hair general jaunting towards you. You flipped around, taking in a deep sigh. Bound to be on an official First Order ship, you had to at least expect to see him sooner or later.
“Ah, councilwoman.” He shot you a grim, wide smile. “We meet again, under some unfortunate circumstances.”
“Unfortunate, indeed.” You replied, gripping your hands tightly. “Where’s the Supreme Leader?”
“Oh come now, at least give me a chat.” He feigned disappointment mockingly. “After all, this is my setting, my domain. I am more than welcoming.”
“I’ve been told, or rather talked over, that we are to be out of this sector any minute now.” You said. “The Supreme Leader cannot possibly be holding out on an escape.”
“I wouldn’t call it an escape, councilwoman. However, we may just have a chance at some resolution to the chaos that put us here in the first place?” Hux raised his brows.
You tried to read his face to see if it had some truth. You silently hoped that you weren't being pushed into another set up. Peace with Naboo was what you so desperately strived for. It would calm your worried mind. If it meant that you could never return to maintain harmony, you would take it. But not without heartbreak.
“Then let us try.” Hux finished, turning his back to you as he continued with his recent assessment for departure. How acutely they all listened, hanging on to every quip and jeer he threw out in his words. Still able to take orders under such stress, unlike you did. “Annoying as this inconvenience is.”
“I did what I did for a reason. You would too if you were pushed so far.” You snarled back. “Would you have done it too?”
Hux glared at you, his face changing so slightly. Eyes softened, almost to sympathize. Human as you both were, maybe it did cross his mind of holding himself out from the rest. He glanced up. The doors opened and Kylo glided in. The scowl came back and so was the top general of the First Order.
“I give commands and follow orders.” He said. “I see no reason for such emotion.”
“It's a proper system for a machine to work. There's a purpose for it.” Kylo followed up, his helmet still on. “But we are not droids.”
“And you encouraged it.” You said to him, staring into his dark visor. “I'm not the only one at fault here.”
“Who said it was not the right thing?” You heard Kylo said lowly in his helmet. Moving closer to you, his voice was soft enough to not be picked up by the vocoder. “Put trust in that decision, (Y/n).”
Biting down on your lip, losing your focus on him.
“Put trust in me.”
A beep sounded off loudly on the bridge. “This is the Security Force of Naboo requesting urgent communication with your vessel.”
Breathing in deeply, you felt as if your heart was going to burst out of your chest. Thumping loudly, rhythmically against your rib cage, you would rather your heart did some damage right now. Anything to avoid this, avoid your betrayal.
“Stay here. Leave communication to us.” Kylo said. “You will not move from your spot, unless I say otherwise.”
“I will not move from this spot unles you say otherwise.” Aghast at the loss of control of your body, your feet planted where they stayed. Frozen once more.
“Holograph transmission, sir. Permission to accept?” A controller asked from their position.
Permission granted.”
Kylo and Hux stood in front of the transmission circle, their fronts lighting up with the familiar blue light. You drew in your breath as you saw the Queen, standing solemnly with Abie at her side. The Queen conveyed a deep seriousness you knew deep inside her. Dormant, having been cast aside when the council had done it for her. It wasn’t the childlike display of fear that was present. No. It was the face of a proper monarch, ready to take on her new challenge for her people.
“Appearance is everything,” you told her. “They won’t just take your words into consideration.”
For a brief moment, the creeping anxiety of your situation disappeared. In its place, was pride. Just for a second. Abie, on the other hand. A different story. His anger seethed off of him, being well seen from almost everyone on the bridge.
“Your Majesty, to what we owe the pleasure of your company?” Hux said.
“There is none, General. I would like to be told of the reason for my urgent return to the palace, with my home in disarray and chaos. Our Governor slain and my councilwoman nowhere to be seen.” She proclaimed. “Even with our arms open to your presence in our desperate hour, we are repaid with nothing but hardship.”
“Although a controversial decision, your majesty, it was the right one.” Kylo began, taking over for Hux. After all, who wouldn’t want to hear the murderer tell his side of the story? “Let's face the clearer picture. Governor Sillin was a joke to Naboo. A laughing stock to the galaxy. So in fairness, the First Order did what was the preferable outcome.”
“Did this outcome happened to include the disappearance of Councilwoman (L/N)?” Queen Revisalla snapped back, her tone grew sharp. “Full control is what you strive for, then so be it. But I ask, no I demand that she be returned alive and unharmed.”
“I see.” Kylo replied, feigning a deep thought. “I’m afraid I cannot allow for the release of her into your hands.”
“And why?” Revisalla asked, the tension from her and Abie grew even more. “This is beyond ridiculous. To capture a government official and a former monarch is a serious crime.”
“That does not matter to us, as you can tell your majesty.” Hux cut in, clasping his hands behind his back. “We did ask for full allegiance in order for help from our forces. Young as you are, do try to take a smarter route and think of this as a small price for our assistance.”
How badly you wanted to break free of your place and take down Hux as well. You wouldn’t need a saber for this, only your bare hands.
“I understand your emotions, your majesty. “Kylo stepped forward. “There is a shared understanding when something dear is taken away from us. It becomes a driving force, our mindset. Sometimes for the better.”
You gazed at the queen. Her eyes glanced down, in deepful thought. It wounded deeply as you saw her face drift into each possibility and hard decision. Everything was spilling over. Whatever was to happen next was going to determine your place. Your life was on the line. And so were the million lives on the planet.
“I will not back down without a fight for this.” Revisalla spoke clearly. “We will bring her back, with your help or not. I will see to it that she is returned home alive.”
Your breath was knocked out of you. There was a vague idea on what kind of response that would be.
“So be it.” Kylo said.
“As you left us no choice your majesty, we must do what is necessary.” Hux proclaimed, turning to the rest of the bridge. “All personnel to their stations. Deploy the TIEs. Let's make sure the message is sent.”
“Yes, sir.” The voiced response was swift, echoing in your ears as the worst had to come. Still frozen to your spot, there was no way physically that you could try to stop this. But you were going to try. You heaved as you struggled to move. The fight response in you cried out to be released.
“Wait, no!” You screamed. Suddenly, as if to be let off a chain, you stumbled forward. Catching your step, you rushed to the hologram, panting. Revisalla took a sudden intake of breath, surprised. So did Abie. Shaking your head, you held up your hands. “You don’t want to do this. Please do not do this.”
“Halt the deployment of TIEs.” Hux commanded. Your adrenaline dropped in relief.
“Is your safety compromised, Lady (Y/n)?” The queen asked you. Abie’s appearance could’ve looked just like yours, relieved but shaken.
“No, I’m fine. I’m okay.” You breathed. “I beg your majesty to listen. One person to an entire people, it cannot happen.”
“Excellent point.” Hux mumbled.
You ignored his remark as you tried to find the right words. “I am not worth it. If this is where my path leads me, this is where I stay. I need you to understand that.”
Revisalla swallowed, her fingers slightly tugging on her long sleeve. Not only were you talking to her, but to your heartbroken friend as well. He looked down, so still you thought the hologram was frozen.
“I understand. Efforts in the future to retrieve your person will be permanently terminated.” Strong and loud, you felt the tug of loss. You were now officially a subject to the First Order.
You nodded.
“Before our communication is severed, there is something I need to ask of you.” Revisalla added. “There are words of your involvement in the death of the governor.”
You felt Kylo’s presence flair behind you. His air taunted you as the cold truth was about to be let loose in the open. This was a moment that he was waiting for, as if he was waiting for the downfall of your life.
“Is there truth to this?” She finally said.
You looked back at Kylo. As it pained you to say, this truly meant there was no way to return back to home. The tie would be forever severed. The planet would be safe. Abie and Sara would be safe. The queen will be safe. And maybe peace will find its way back to Naboo, with a brighter future for everyone. The one you so longed to see.
“Yes.” You replied firmly. “I killed Sillin.”
Abie’s shoulders fell in defeat. Revisalla nodded solemnly. The disappointment from both of them radiated strongly.“I-“
“There you have it, your majesty. Loud and clear.” You were cut off from Hux. “It is now time that we make our departure from the sector.”
“I bid you all farewell.” Revisalla’s tone was monotonous, professional. Just another goodbye to visiting “diplomats”. The hologram faded and you were left with the sight of Naboo once again.
#fanfiction#star wars#ben solo#kylo ren#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren x you#kylo ren headcanons#kylo ren trash#Ben swolo#ben solo deserves to live#adam driver#force awakens#rise of skywalker#the last jedi#kylo ren imagines#general hux
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The escape, part 1 till 4.1
THIS POST IS TO COMPLETE ALL CHAPTERS ON TUMBLR! I've shared these chapters of my fanfic in links before, but never the full text. So nothing new to read, alas... (but, I'm working on the publication of arc 2 very soon, I swear 😇)
Summary: The first arc of my Armitage Hux x OC fanfic, working title "shattered ambitions, rebuilt into dreams." or, "chocolate cookies and tarine tea" depending on my mood 🤔💁.
Rating: Explicit. This is the NSFW version (first 2 chapters are SFW). So, Minors, do NOT read or interact. 18+. Family, friends and colleagues, please don't read this. :'-)
Tags & warnings: TRoS fix-it (kind of), Hux!lives, Hux doesn't like Kylo, Not a Redemption Arc, maybe a little bit, shameless OC insert (there are cliches but entertaining ones imo), slow emotional burn, medium sexual burn, Enemies to Enemies With Benefits to Lovers, Hux is a villain with villainous thoughts at first, but let's see what a different environment will do, Choking, Virgin Characters, Masturbation in Shower, and out of the shower too, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Past Child Abuse, Very short suicide mention.
I will add tags as we proceed in the story, please let me know if I forgot one!
From chapter 3 on: mentions of choking, non-consent actions, vague sexual thoughts
From chapter 4 on: NSFW - mentions of sex, non-consent plans, masturbation, Hux is a manipulative asshole and a shy coward at the same time. Has shady plans. I love him.
A/N:
Hello there!
I wrote this little fanfic about 2 years ago, to get my very vivid daydreams under control. I wasn't really planning on publishing this, but it feels wrong just to have it catching digital dust on my drive. So recently, I picked it up again and started to flesh out the parts that were still missing. I haven't finished it at all, but at least the first arc is done, so I can update that one on a regular basis!
The initial fic started as smut, but somehow I've written more action scenes than lemons. And worldbuilding. And fluff. And character development. So, this has no genre?
There *is* a main plot, but there are filler episodes as well to just explore the character's interactions, or just because I like to add easter eggs to my version of this vast Star Wars universe.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy it! And bear with me, English is not my native language. I never thought myself to be a fanfic writer at all, but I sincerely hope this is as entertaining for you as it is for me.
Constructive comments are always welcome! I love to hear your thoughts and learn what I can improve!
(Also the first paragraph is kind of heavy, but it's the character's fault I swear!)
Chapter 1 - escape destiny
First Order star destroyer Steadfast , 35 ABY.
Allegiant general Enric Pryde was not a fool. From the moment he and his armada came out of the unknown regions, to reinforce the current First Order military fleet known to the galaxy, he knew. His guidance was needed for the survival of the order.
He had watched those two immature boys for some time now, seeing how their positions within the First Order had changed. He knew that Ren was the one illegally seizing power and trying to sidestep Hux, just because he could. He saw the rivalry grow, leaving Ren and Hux bickering over the most futile decisions. It was corrupting the order, as the emperor had foreseen.
After Snoke’s fall, there was no clear vision left, no straight path to victory any more. At least not without him, that is.
He knew his chance to seize command would come soon. Ren was now too occupied with the Jakku girl, and Hux's frustrations towards Ren’s chaotic behaviour grew every time they collided. Pryde was not happy either with the self-proclaimed supreme leader’s decisions, but at least he could use them for his own good. Hux, on the contrary, was barking like a caged Akk dog, bitterly knowing he’ll be the first to fall after his failure at Starkiller base. His misstep on D’Qar, letting the dreadnought Fulminatrix get destroyed, left a second stain on his career as well.
Pride inwardly smiled. Hux used to be a prodigy, but he lacked experience and was too frustrated with his loss of power, and that caught onto him. And now, it appears he has no backbone to cope with the sticky situation he was in. It was like Hux's late father once mentioned to him, back when their paths crossed in the unknown regions. His son has no spine and is not made for this life.
Thinking back at that particular conversation, it was actually surprising he lasted this long.
Lately, Pryde noticed that Hux even stopped stating his concerns to Ren. He seemed beaten, or at least, that was the impression he was trying to make. And Ren, he was growing more and more insane. That boy was even worse to work with, a loose cannon on deck, only kept there by the emperor because he is supposed to be some part of a prophecy. Pryde suspected that the emperor’s plan for Ren would soon become clear to him. He hoped it didn't involve him having to keep answering to that short tempered idiot.
He stopped his trajectory when he arrived at the middle of the bridge, and peered outside through the front view.
It was only a matter of time for him to take over from those two foolish boys playing toy army. And then, nothing would stand in his way to shape the universe to the vision of the one true emperor. Pryde’s own flavor included, of course.
But first, he needed to catch the culprit who got word to the Resistance about Exegol. Although Hux reassured him that his men are trained well and fully indoctrinated with the first order's philosophy, he had his doubts. Lately, rumours reached him about Phasma being the one who had assassinated Hux’ father, Brendol. The fact that Armitage Hux and Phasma had been seen together more frequently, before her demise, was another big red warning sign for him.
He had decided to keep a close eye on both of them already a while ago. Now, Phasma was eliminated, and the spy continued leaking information.
He assumed Hux's changed behaviour towards Ren was no coincidence either. He had seen the ginger boy in action before, scheming and working his way up. He was not to be underestimated, and the fact that Ren was taking every actual decisive power out of Hux’s hands, wasn’t going to be digested well by the latter.
Yes, the leader of the first order's army and former supervisor of Starkiller base was his number one suspect.
The hiss of the bridge's main entrance woke Pride from his speculative thoughts.
A trooper squad approached the Allegiant General, bringing forth a prisoner. “Sir, we have found another one. As requested, we brought her here”, the first trooper reported. “Ah, the emperor will be pleased", Pryde replied. He turned to another officer standing to the left of him and replied: "Officer Trach, can you prepare the test?” Trach nodded curtly and turned around.
The handcuffed girl looked at Pryde with fierce amber eyes and spilled a waterfall of angry words: “Let me go! I didn’t mean to slice into the system, I was just experimenting! I didn’t do anything wrong, you’ll see! There wasn’t anything interesting to find anyway!”. She slightly heaved from the outburst.
Pryde looked over his shoulder and looked down upon the rather short prisoner. What a... rude chatterbox..., he amusingly thought. Such noise for such a small girl.
“Oh, but you’re not here because you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s because of what you might do in the future,” he responded, his face sporting a wry smile. Trach had joined his flank, and Pryde took the test device from the officer. The two troopers, who were escorting the struggling girl, routinely forced her on her knees, not waiting for Pryde’s orders. One of them took her right arm and pulled up her sleeve. She tried to fight back and snarled: ‘Hey, let me go! You’re hurting me!’ to her assaultants, who were struggling to keep her pinned on her position.
Pryde approached her, pulling back her head by her hair. She groaned, but found the strength to spit straight in his face. The allegiant general backed up, letting out a low growl. He wiped away the spit from his cheek with his gloves. 'You insolent bi-…' he started saying, instantly pushing the test device to the skin of her arm and definitely applying more force than necessary. He kept his distance this time, making sure he wasn't going to be covered in spit a second time. She looked him in his eyes, as if she could strike him down glaring. He chuckled, this was one of the reasons why he didn’t delegate the tests, whenever his schedule permitted it; he liked what was coming next. She was a fiery one, full of life, but not for long.
He pressed the trigger with force, and enjoyed the way he saw her face flinch. Her eyes went teary and lost focus. Ah, he savoured that feeling of power. “You see, eventually, everyone ends up the same way.” he stated with a sly smile, releasing the trigger and giving back the apparatus to Trach.
The girl fell limp and landed face first on the immaculate deck.
Pryde turned around and went over to the center of bridge, reminiscing about moments like these, when the test subjects started to lose their consciousness. These tests were a great reminder of how he could toy with the lives he overpowered. And power, he craved.
“Report me if the midichlorian test confirms the reported values” he routiniously said. Trach nodded and took the device elsewhere.
At that exact moment, Pryde heard the repulsor doors to the bridge open again. He turned around, seeing his number one suspect and adversary approaching.
He raised his eyebrow, confused and intrigued by this new turn of events. General Hux was limping, his leg hastily bandaged. Blood was already seeping through his uniform pants, the wound clearly caused by a blaster shot.
Pryde noticed that the general looked even paler than usual, and somehow he lost some of his annoying pride and charisma. Not that he had much of both left lately. Of course, given the situation, he didn’t expect anything else from that overconfident boy. He always thought he was worthless, only thriving because there used to be a void in the first order’s leading positions. It appears he's not resilient enough to cope with a few setbacks , he mused. As I expected.
He could admit though that Armitage was smart, smarter than his father, but Pryde had lived longer than him. He saw how the galactic empire had brought order to the galaxy, by ending the clone wars. He saw dozens of people with ambition come and go. The higher their aim, the greater the fall. The emperor saw through them time and time again, together with his counseling. This time, it was Hux’s turn to fall and - finally - his own time to rise.
'It was a coordinated incursion, allegiant general', Hux recited, his voice trembling either by anger or by fear. Maybe both, Pryde considered, thinking back about his earlier train of thoughts. 'They overpowered the guards and forced me to take them to their ship.'
Liar , Pryde thought, feeling strangely satisfied. This was it. The opportunity he was waiting for. Hux's half-baked excuse was exactly what he needed; he just presented Pryde with perfect leverage to bring him down . It seems I was right all along, and even if he's not the spy after all, I will make sure everyone believes he was. This is the perfect moment .
'I see', Pryde responded dryly.
'Get me the supreme leader,'' he requested his communication officer.
That exact same moment, he took the blaster from the nearest trooper and swiftly turned around, shooting Hux right in the stomach. His target’s body immediately flew backwards and landed several meters further, carried by the force of the blast.
The allegiant general was thrilled by the rush of action, but quickly tried to hide it from his subordinates. He still had it in him. He had to play this game to the end…
'Tell him I found the spy,' he stated to the communication officer.
A sense of pride and self indulgence overcame him. 'Throw the traitor's body in the trash compactor, where he belongs', he loudly stated, making sure he was heard by the very soldiers Hux had recruited and had overseen their training for decades.
He eliminated his first rival, now it's time to move onward to the second one, Ren.
Pryde turned towards the empty void of space, feeling the adrenaline rush slowly fading from his veins.
'Sir, what about the girl?' He heard officer Trach ask. Pryde looked up to him and turned to the side deck. He almost forgot about her. The captive was still on the floor, staring with wide eyes at the place Hux had stood, just half a minute ago. She looked pale, as if she saw a ghost. Heh . He thought. Seems like she lost that boldness already. It only took just one kill for her to witness, just that bit, to silence her. As I expected from a mere civilian. He replied: 'Lock her up as usual. Until the results are confirmed, we don't know if she can onboard the shuttle’.
What the kriff… What's happening? First I get abducted by some creepy hooded individuals, then I seem to be on some dank first order flagship, and now this bastard forces me down and gives me this shot from a device that looked way too fragging big to be medically responsible… which was shukking painful by the way… and my head is spinning so hard.. .
Miko shortly lost her consciousness from the blood that was quickly pulled from her veins. She didn't feel the smack when her head hit the shiny black durasteel floor, everything went dark for a few seconds.
When she regained her sight, she saw two black boots turning away from her. A moment later after the deafening sound of the blood rushing in her ears stopped, she could hear the typical sound of a repulsor steered door opening. She didn’t feel completely conscious yet, but the adrenaline rushed her senses on full alert in no time. Someone had entered the bridge, she assumed, as that old bastard was not paying attention to her any more.
Good, maybe she could come up with some plan, or at least get a clue of what the frack was going on here.
She righted her head and turned towards the newcomer. Her whole body was loudly complaining, refusing her to fully lift up her head, so she turned it to the side. She couldn't really understand what they were saying, her ears were still buzzing. But somehow, she could feel the tension rising fast. It was like the atmosphere was getting electrically charged. She saw the older one of the duo, the one that just kriffing harassed her, turn around again, stepping away from the younger one and taking the blaster from the trooper next to him.
W-whoa...wwait! Don't shoot! She tried to yell, but nothing came out. She had tried to reach out with her hand, as if she could stop the grey-haired bastard from shooting the red-haired douchebag, but her body just didn't respond to her commands like it should.
The officer fully took the shot and his body violently flung back to the bridge's main entrance.
D-did he just kill another crewmember like it was nothing? I… I knew the 'worst order' had a fragging bad reputation, but... this?
Miko suddenly felt sick from watching someone die in front of her, even if it was probably someone she hadn’t wanted to get to know better, anyway. She never witnessed something as life-threatening as this before, and wished she never would, again. Her stomach turned. A cold blooded murder, executed by the officer who took interest in her.
Great .
She heard someone ask a question that probably referred to her presence, but her mind wasn't able to register what exactly was going on. The troopers that had pressed her on her knees, now pulled her on her wobbly feet. She was slowly getting able to move again, but all felt like she was in some kind of bad dream. One took her by the handcuffs, while the other went to drag the lifeless corpse to the trash compactor.
Miko was roughly pulled forward through the hallways of the Steadfast . The two first order troopers were now walking next to her, one on each side. The right one was holding the cuffs tightly. When she looked the other way, she saw the other trooper with two boots in his hands. He was disrespectfully dragging the dead officer forward, like he was sweeping the floor. The trooper to her left scraped his throat and started talking to his comrade: “the trash compactor is closer, let me first throw him in”. The other trooper nodded curtly. She shivered. She knew the First Order was bad news, but this was much worse than she expected. How am I ever going to get out of this frigging hellhole?
I have to come up with a plan , she desperately thought. She had to try to look around for some way out.
The group turned down another hallway, reaching one of the many trash compactor entrances that existed on the resurgent-class star destroyer. She heard the other trooper sigh. Was this business as usual for them? Or were they affected by this wicked situation as well? She wondered. Their black visors and stiff armor hid their expressions very well, it was impossible to tell.
She felt a lump in her throat, thinking back about what happened on the bridge. Should I have a last look at him? She thought, somehow feeling sorry for the shot down officer. She turned her head and shoulders to catch a glance of him. However, the trooper that was holding her in check, suddenly reacted to her maneuver, and roughly pulled her cuffs towards him. But instead of pulling her back in line, she lost her balance, falling backwards with a swirl, right onto the lifeless corpse.
Miko froze.
She was staring right into the empty blueish green eyes of the man that was just shot and killed.
Her cuffed hands had landed on his chest, and the physical contact with this corpse made her feel like she was going to throw up. She desperately closed her eyes to ignore the sensory overload and felt a cold chill, like a shockwave, go through her. This was how she was going to meet her end too, right? A dead lump, ready to be composted on this stupid war machine. How did this all happen so fast? And - by the fragging stars - why?
Her hands were pulled up once again by the trooper, but she felt so limp, she couldn't find the strength to react. The situation went south so quickly, and there was no escape whatsoever, she hopelessly thought.
She felt movement beneath her, and opened her eyes again, expecting that the other trooper had started pulling the still warm body. But instead, she looked in the exact same blueish green eyes again, staring back at her .
What the fr-...?
The presumed-dead officer quickly pulled his hand from beneath her, reaching out to the trooper holding her handcuffs, swiftly grabbing the trooper’s blaster from its holster. He shot the other trooper in the chest, before the blaster was even removed from the holster. The framed trooper turned around in confusion, receiving a shot in the stomach himself.
In a mere few seconds, Miko found herself on the ground in between two lifeless troopers, a man who was very much supposed to be dead sitting next to her.
She looked at him in shock, not understanding a bit from what had just happened.
To her surprise, he looked as confused as she was. The burn from the blast was apparent on his otherwise spotless uniform and she could’ve sworn that he was really absolutely dead just seconds ago. Not that she had any experience with laying on a dead body at all, but still.
“What did you do?!” he half whispered-half shouted her way.
“What did I do? I witnessed you die back there!” she responded with the same hissing voice. The officer ignored her reaction and started touching the hole in his uniform. “It pierced through the blaster protection, as I feared…" the man frowned. "Why were you present on the bridge?” he sternly demanded.
Miko felt even more confused and slightly annoyed by his commanding tone. “What do you mean? And I have no idea why I was there! That creep took some painful blood samples from my arm and was going to lock me up, that’s the only thing I know!” She responded, slightly raising her voice.
He looked at her, one eyebrow raised. “Did he by any chance say anything else?”
Miko tried to recall the situation, but everything went so quickly and the blood loss made her memories blurry. “Yeah, he said something about some midi-what-the-hell-ian values he was going to check”. She crossed her arms, scanning his face for answers.
The first order officer stared back at her, nose twitching, as if she had caught some rare disease. He then started rubbing his chest again in slow circles. His hand clenched at the fabric for a fraction, before he quickly stood up and started walking further into the hallway and away from her, his back straight.
“Hey! Where the frag are you going?” Miko shouted. He didn’t respond, didn't look back at her or slowed down. He acted as if she wasn’t even kriffing there.
She didn't like this attitude of his at all.
Miko stumbled and almost fell, having trouble standing up with her hands cuffed. But she quickly ran after him and grabbed his arm, hoping to get some response out of him. She didn't like the idea at all, but he was probably her only chance of survival, so she wasn't going to let him get away just like that.
He suddenly turned and looked back at her with a menacing glare, as if touching him was way off limits. She backed away and forgot about her plan, surprised by his reaction and taken aback by his piercing eyes. Luckily, he paused for a second and looked back and forth, as if he was overthinking the situation.
He sighed. “Follow me if you want to get out of this ship”, he coldly replied.
Chapter 2 - escape from Steadfast
What’s this? Why am I on the floor? And why is this odd fuzzy hairball staring at me like she had just seen a ghost? And why in the order's name is she on top of me? Hux thought in disdain. He was confused, disoriented and absolutely not comfortable with having someone invading his personal space.
He tried to clear his mind and focus on the past events. Wasn’t he on the bridge of the Steadfast ?
Pryde .
He remembered.
While his eyes were adjusting to the hallway light, he saw 2 troopers slowly reaching for the girl, unaware of him regaining his consciousness. This was the moment he needed to act on.
He reached for the nearest trooper's blaster and swiftly shot both soldiers. The girl automatically moved to the side, making way so he could get up on his knees.
Hux stared at the white armored bodies. What a waste, I had to shoot a total of five troopers in one day, he thought.
He paused and gulped down the nauseous feeling he got from the turn of events. Not that any of them mattered to him any more.
The girl quickly told him what happened. He cursed inwardly. If what he suspects was true, he was just saved by a force sensitive. Ugh , he absolutely hated the thought of being saved by someone with the likes of Kylo Ren. Apart from his rivalry with the latter, he wasn’t a fan of anything that couldn’t be scientifically explained either.
It seems that she is not aware of her abilities, though , he noticed. For now, let’s keep it that way. I don’t want to give her any ideas. But why is Pryde picking up force sensitive people? One is already too much! He felt his frustrations rise again, thinking about the self-proclaimed supreme leader and the way he used that Force power to lash out at him physically. He unwillingly touched his neck, remembering his latest encounter with Kylo.
He tried to regain his composure. Let’s evaluate the situation later, she might come in handy right now.
He looked at the two troopers he just shot. My first priority should be a swift escape, which will be much easier as long as I'm presumed dead, he reasoned. He took the blaster from the floor, started walking and eventually called the girl to follow him. “We should get to the lower hangar, my shuttle is stationed there. I was planning to depart, so it should be fueled up by now” he stated, increasing the pace.
He suddenly stopped in his tracks. If the girl was the only one leaving a trace, no one will know he’s still alive, even after his escape. That would give him a significant tactical advantage. He should come up with a plan to reach the shuttle without being noticed.
The girl, obviously still confused about the whole situation, walked right into him, giving him a bump in the back.
“Watch we’re you’re going!” he hissed. She was looking back into his eyes, anger showing in hers. She pointed a finger to his chest, her hands still cuffed. “You’re hard to keep up with, you’re at least 2 heads bigger than I am, and then you frigging stop out of the blue! What do you expect to happen!” She silently shouted back.
Hux felt his anger level rise. This whole day had been full of stress and frustration, and this brat was only adding fuel to the fire. She should learn her place, or this is not going to work well, he thought, while grinding his teeth. She bothered him already twice in this short timespan, and with such insolence.
But he also knew that he didn’t have any better options, and he had manipulated people into serving his purpose in the past. He had to make this work, for his own sake.
He looked at her with cold stern eyes, then turned his head towards a hallway with an open door, leading to the hangar. “We need to get to my ship and make sure we can take off. We have to get authorization from the control tower first,” he stated. She sighed, tried to cross her handcuffed arms and replied with a sceptical look: “And how are you going to pull that off?”
Armitage thought he felt a vein in his brain pop, not used to receiving such answers. He refrained from the urge to verbally lash out to her and forced himself to think about the situation ahead.
He brought his gloved right hand to his chin. She did have a point. He had to give up his cover, if he wanted to try to convince someone. He could go back to take the trooper’s helmet, call control tower, and hope that the microphone unit would cover up his voice. But using his authorization code was a great risk. Most of the troopers knew him all too well… he implicitly recruited and oversaw training for most of them, after all. He was the image of the army's propaganda. News of his demise had probably already spread, so using anything related to his identity would most certainly ring some alarms.
His shoulder was pounded upon again, so he looked down with slight resignation. The girl was holding her hands to the side, wanting to put them on her hips, but not able to do so due to the handcuffs. “Leave that to me”, she whispered with a sly smile.
He pulled one eyebrow up again. “What do you mean?” he responded with a slightly cynical voice.
“Can you guide me to an access port somewhere?” she smiled enthusiastically.
Her reaction looked somewhat childish in his eyes, and that really didn’t give him any confidence. But his plan was too risky anyway, so he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt, he considered.
Hux pointed her to the nearest access point. She sat down on one knee, looking at the port. He was feeling very sceptical about this. How can this girl do anything with that access port? Without a scomp link, she can't even access it, he wondered. He saw her looking over her shoulder, whispering something. She’s not going to do some force magic, right… he thought in disdain, furrowing his brows.
‘PC, you can come out now’, he now heard her whisper. A tiny droid crawled out of the neck sleeve of her jacket. It had 2 visual sensors and 4 motoric ones, it resembled something animal-like. A small reptilian type of animal, including the bulging eyes and flexible tail. The thing found its way via her arms to the access point, turning to use said tail as the communicator, the scomp link. She whispered instructions to the little droid, before she pulled out a small working pad from her gear. She started scanning the screen with full concentration and started slicing, clearly forgetting his presence.
Hux was intrigued by the droid, he never saw such a small animal-like model. The way it swiftly moved the access point’s turning wheel was peculiar, but most effective. If he was head of the infiltration division, this model would make a great asset.
If I was still in charge… but that’s all over and done now. He gulped.
If… only I'm able to get to Ren . The stakes were high, too high for his liking, but he would do anything to make the idiotic force user disappear.
The droid made a squeaky sound. The girl turned to Hux again. “All done!” she exclaimed, enthusiastic about her presumed success. He was still sceptical though, her enthusiasm only making him feel less confident. Does she really know what she's doing? She sure doesn't act like it , he wondered. But… if she really achieved changing flight plans and authorizations without notice, she could disable the surveillance cameras as well. She might even be able to diminish the amount of troops in the hangar, too , he reasoned. The longer he was presumed dead, the better.
He asked her if she could pull that one off, and she responded positively. The droid squeaked, and she focused back on the access port.
Hux was nervously pacing through the hallway, and although it took her and that droid only two minutes, it felt like eternity. The more dead moments like this, the more chance they could be discovered.
He felt his heart racing from not being able to do anything, his mind starting to come up with all kinds of worst-case scenarios. He took another swing, and saw her standing up and putting two thumbs up in the air. Good. Urgent time to leave.
“Okay, let's advance and check if your little trick worked. Walk before me and pull up your hands.” he stated.
“What? Why?” she responded with a low tone, clearly finding his request suspicious. “I’m going to transfer you as a prisoner to the shuttle”, he explained with a hissing tone. “Oh-okay, I can go with that.” She said with a voice full of doubt.
As if she had another choice , he thought scornfully.
The droid retreated back into her jacket, its lean form making sure it wasn’t visible from the outside. Hux removed the bandage from his left leg. The bleeding hadn’t entirely stopped, but the white fabric was way too obvious. The black hole on his chest was clearly visible, too. “Walk closely before me, so they don’t notice the damage on my uniform,” he added, while disposing of the cloth. He took the confiscated blaster and pointed it on her back, coercing her to start walking.
The duo marched over to the hangar deck. Hux scanned the hangar. Good, it seems the dock was manned with minimum capacity. Maybe her slicing efforts actually had their results.
Apart from that, he spotted nothing out of the ordinary, which was a good sign. It indicated that the news of his presumed death had not reached the hangar personnel yet. If he was lucky, none of them would think back about this moment or even notice them. They had to move as subtle as possible.
He slowly picked up the pace, but tried not to go too fast so that he had to limp. The shot wound in his leg was slowly starting to take its toll. They passed a few of the hangar crew members and he sternly nodded to a trooper that saluted him. He hoped none of them would see the sweat on his forehead. Or wonder why he was there and no pilot was with him. It’s been a while since he flew himself, after all.
They walked on the ramp of the shuttle and he opened the cargo doors. Without looking up, they both stepped inside.
(small bonus doodle because I love awkward situations and they need more attention)
Chapter 2 - escape from Steadfast (II)
Hux closed the shuttle door as fast as possible and let the girl free. He let out a breath. He didn't prefer to be in risky situations at all. Being on the bridge, executing battle strategies was his forte, not actually being in the field.
He marched to the cockpit, the girl followed in his wake. He swiftly sat down and started to power up his shuttle. “Prepare for a swift jump to lightspeed” he stated, without looking her way. She slowly looked around, taking in the environment. “O-ok” she absentively answered.
He paused, wondering how much flight experience she was lacking.
“Put yourself in that chair”, he pointed out. She quickly sat down and put her hands on her knees.
She’s clearly not used to space travelling, he mused . A real planetary brat.
The ship's motors started roaring to life. Moments later, the ship took off, and Miko was pressed against the back of the seat. She had a hard time taking in what was happening, but was finally feeling relieved to see the stars. It gave her some hope that this nightmare could be over soon.
Hux turned to her: “we’re going to jump into hyperspace as soon as possible. I’m setting up the hyperdrive, can you give in the coördinates?” he asked her.
“Where?” she replied, absolutely willing to help to get out of there as fast as possible.
“at 3h” he responded.
Who the hell talks in hours? She wondered, reminding herself she picked him up on a military base after all. She sighed and closed her eyes for a second, in an attempt to find some inner peace.
First, he treats me like kriffing trash, he doesn’t believe I can slice the system, then he drags me into this ship with a fucking blaster pointed at my back, and now I have to know how a shuttle works? This man is giving me grey hairs! She thought instead, frustration starting to grow.
She found the hyperspace panel and started looking through the pre-filled values. “Anywhere?” she asked, turning back to him.
“Would you just choose something already?” he shouted back. “Why are you shouting, I can hear you when you talk, sir whatever!” she responded angrily, pressing the confirmation button. If he’s going to treat me like this - again - he’s not going anywhere! She stubbornly thought.
“By the sarlacc pits, they locked on us!” Hux shouted, while the shuttle was violently shaken. Miko closely held onto the chair behind her and momentarily closed her eyes. When the shaking stopped, she remembered his words. “By the sarlacc pits”, who says that anyway? She wondered. This guy is a kriffing relic. A next shake threw her out of her train of thoughts again and made her focus on the present.
“The coordinates are ready!” Miko called back. Hux pulled the hyperdrive gear, the stars quickly changing into blue lines.
“Phuh, that was friggin close!” Miko sighed, letting herself fall into the co-pilot’s chair.
“We’re not out of this yet” Hux said while glaring at her from the side. “Prepare to jump back” he added.
“But… no! I don’t want to go back! Why should I…” she argued.
“Just do it already!” he angrily shouted.
She hesitantly went over to the controls again, but at that exact moment, they were pulled out of hyperspace, reaching their destination. She looked out of the cockpit’s window, staring into empty space. Hux started turning the ship around.
Right at that time, a squadron of first order TIE-fighters appeared from hyperspace.
Hux cursed inwardly. The squadron opened fire and hit the shuttle a few times, giving Miko a hard time to stand. Red warning lights blinked on the right control board and if Miko wasn't panicking yet, this would certainly do the trick. The TIE's turned and a second salvo followed. Hux did his best to avoid the little buggers, but he was no trained pilot, unlike their current opponents.
Their shields held back most of the shots, but some hits got through, making alarms go off all over the shuttle’s cockpit.
“Wha…. They can jump through hyperspace? And they are tracking us?” Miko whispered, taken aback.
“Put in some coordinates, now!” Hux shouted towards her. “O-okay!” she whispered in confusion. She quickly pressed the control and entered one of the preprogrammed destinations. The shuttle took another jump to the designated coordinates. While in hyperspace, he turned towards her and stood up straight. He righted his back and looked down to her with a menacing glare. His hair was slightly tossed up from angrily turning back and forth between looking at her and at the navigation panels.
“Now, listen carefully this time. Once we arrive, jump back to the place we just came from, and then directly jump back to the Steadfast . Once there, we’ll jump again to a random spot, and so on. At least four times. And this time, do it, without hesitation!” He shouted, pointing his finger at her.
You can’t just throw orders at me like that! She angrily thought, frustration growing and her head getting furiously red. She stood up, trying to face him on a more even level, and replied: 'I'm trying to get out of this hellhole as well, you don't need to shout at me!' She knocked away his hand and turned around. She could feel the frustration radiating from him as well; she could hear him breathe heavily and gritting his teeth.
Miko took a deep breath and tried to calm down. She did realise he clearly knew more about this tracking mechanism, so her best chance to survive was to listen to that self-righteous idiot.
The moment the shuttle jumped out of hyperspace, they immediately jumped back to their previous location. At her right side, she saw a flash of one of the TIE-fighters landing at their location, just before the next jump was executed. She swiftly gave in the coordinates of the Steadfast’s location. “Ready!” she shouted in Hux's direction.
The third jump took them only seconds, this time no pursuing ship was seen. Another alarm was sounding and she saw Hux gritting his teeth and adding extra pressure on the steering handles. They came out of hyperspace right before the Steadfast. Miko was still entering the next coordinates. "Hurry up! They've spotted us!", she heard him shout, while she finished the procedure. "Done!" She exclaimed, at which Hux immediately reacted, initiating the fourth jump.
The required fifth and sixth jump followed, and to be absolutely certain about losing their pursuers, they did another few.
The duo arrived somewhere before a nebula, at the edge of the unknown regions. Miko was completely worked up, but the sight before her made all the tension in her body disappear. She was marvelled by the sight of the clustered stars and dusty space clouds. She had never been in outer space, and this was the first time she could actually pay attention to its beauty. For a moment, she forgot that she was in a first order ship together with some easily angered, high-minded and conceited officer. She forgot about the alarm wailing on her right side.
“We should debate a strategy” she heard from her back, pulling her mind back into reality. Hux sat in the pilot’s seat and turned his gaze towards her. He waved his hair back in shape. He still looked like he was angry at her, but it seemed like he had found his composure again.
He stepped over to her side, checking where the alarm came from. The next thing she heard were his fists landing on the lower control panel. “This is unthinkable! The navigation unit was hit. I can’t access any of the preprogrammed coordinates any more!” he waved his hands out of anger and stepped to the other side.
“I’ll check it out,” Miko replied quickly, willing to help. She felt a bit guilty for not following his orders. It's because of that, they were in this mess after all.
She thought she could hear him let out a frustrated growl while he passed the spot she was standing in.
Her droid friend appeared out of her jacket again and crawled over to the data port, looking at the damage as well. Hux sat down and pressed his fingers to his forehead. He let out a long sigh.
“The board is fried, there’s nothing I can do… it's already a miracle we could perform those last jumps. It must’ve been fried right after." Miko brought her hand to her chin. "Maybe I can check if you have access to the HoloNet on this ship, so I can look for a place to go? We can still use the direct input with coordinates,” she suggested. He didn’t look up. “That’s no option. You’ll give away our position if you do so” he responded.
“I can put up a proxy…” she started replying, the corners of her mouth curling upwards. Her droid came to sit on her shoulder, ready to help her out.
“They will still find a trace, trust me. I know what my men are capable of” he interrupted. He absentmindedly scratched his hair.
“From what just happened, I don’t think they’re your men any more...” Miko muttered inwardly.
Hux stood up, gave her a menacing glare, and walked out of the cockpit, leaving her there on her own.
Great. I can add hard-headed to the list , she sighed.
Hux was losing it. He was just shot twice, left for dead but apparently saved by a naïve girl with authority issues and possibly with force powers. He didn’t know which part was worse.
Now he was stuck in a shuttle with limited resources, having nowhere to go. He just lost everything he worked, lived and stood for. And there was no way to get it back. The only thing left was his resentment.
First Ren, and now Pryde. They took everything from him. His life's work went up in smoke, just like Starkiller base.
If there’s anything he was still willing to achieve, it was orchestrating their demise.
But he was practically powerless now. There wasn’t a way to get into the first order again, wasn't there....
He paced around in the small central wardroom, rubbed his face and tried to weigh his options. Going back to Arkanis and using his family name could work to a certain degree, but even if he could convince the cadets on Arkanis, he had no chance against the both of them. He was the spy after all. Come to think of it, he had made sure the cadets knew how to deal with traitors. A cold shiver ran through his spine, remembering how effective and cruel his orders were towards them. No, Arkanis wasn’t an option.
He couldn't think of any other option within his connections within the First Order. The chance was too high that they would side with either Ren or Pryde.
But what other option is left?
Hmm. maybe the enemy of my enemy, can become my ally. If only for getting to Ren and Pryde, I’m willing to switch sides. For now. And when the opportunity presents itself, I’ll take back what’s mine.
He stood still. If that defected trooper FN-2187 and Dameron were still alive, he might have a chance. He saved their sorry lives after all. But how to find and contact them… and first, how to get out of here...
He sat down at the table in the wardroom and thought about his options. They were stranded and they only had the navigation history of the jumps they just did, before the navigation memory unit was wiped. From what he recalled, none of them were nearby an inhabitable planet. On the other hand, it’s not like he had time to check the surroundings, so maybe they could give it a try and jump back. They have to wait for a few days to use those coordinates anyway, to avoid getting caught.
The fuzzy hairball came in. Right, I almost forgot about her. He rolled his eyes. He realized he had no idea if there were enough provisions for one, let alone for two people. He should check that first, to be able to estimate if this was the time to get rid of her.
She stood before him with her arms crossed and started talking: “It seems the hyperdrive got a hit too, PC is looking into it. He said we can’t use it at full speed.”
He sighed. Another setback . He felt a cold rush climbing up his spine. How did he end up in such a sightless situation? He hated the feeling of not being in control.
She came to sit down on the bench in front of him, and leaned forward, elbows on the table. “How did they track us through hyperspace and how did we just manage to escape?” she hesitantly asked, looking at his face like he was fishy.
He sighed again, sat back and started explaining. He had other things to do, but he felt that explaining how superior his research division was, could at least brighten his mood a bit.
“It's a First Order standard procedure to lock on any hyperspace trace their sensors catch. The fighters do the same.” He leaned forward as well, looking her in the eyes. He made notice on how her amber irises slightly dilated when he locked his gaze on them. Good, I have her full attention . “We developed active hyperspace tracking, it’s very effective in pursuing targets. But if you travel backwards, you make use of that same path, making your backward jumps nearly untraceable. The technology can do some extrapolations, that’s why we had to jump the whole trip back to the Steadfast and then further on. Once they found out what we were doing, we did more than enough extra jumps to lose them.” He put up a wry smile, self-content his plan worked. It was one of his theories after all, but it wasn't tested before.
But then he was reminded of his current situation. “Too bad we can’t travel anywhere now”, he grumbled.
“We can travel to my place if you want?” the girl responded, cocking her head to one side. He looked up, a very sceptical look on his face. ”Your home planet? And how are we supposed to do that? The navigation is fried, did you forget?” he said, clenching his fists under the table. She's definitely not the brightest , he thought, again. He was starting to feel annoyed for the fourth time in a row now. He could feel that the combination of her presence and the recent turn of events were slowly making him lose his otherwise unbreakable self-control.
She crossed her arms, leaned back and stated: “I know the coordinates by heart”.
What? Who in the whole galaxy knows coordinates by heart? It’s a 48 long digit code! Hux thought, not believing her one bit.
“Are you serious?” he said, more like a statement. He couldn't take her seriously, and this definitely was not the time nor the place to mess with him.
“Of course! One should always know how to find their way home!” she happily responded, a smart smile on her face.
Hah, that’s funny, he thought: “You never left the planet” he dryly stated.
“S-So what?” she responded, slightly pouting and blushing, probably feeling caught. His assumption was correct, it appeared. But still, knowing such a code by heart? That would be very unlikely. “Why would you learn such a long code by heart if you’re never even going to use it?” he said, disbelief in his voice.
“We can use it right now, can’t we?” she immediately countered, leaning her head backwards and starting to raise her voice again. It seems that he was not the only one who wasn't in a good mood around here. Her behaviour wasn't helping Hux to keep his calm at all.
"Then let's hope you don't make a mistake so we don't crash into a sun, for example." He replied, the tone of his voice increasing.
"Since the fragging hyperdrive is only working at a fraction of its speed, we don't have to worry about that, right?" she threw back at him, almost shouting.
He sat back again, breathed through his nose and tried to control the rising anger. He let out another exaggerated sigh. This girl was going to make him lose his cool sooner or later. This was worse than staying with Ren in one shuttle.
The little droid tripped from the cockpit onto the girl's seat, eventually settling down on her shoulder.
The girl broke the loaded silence first and tried to make some progress on the plan. “Okay, suppose if we go there, what are we going to do?” she asked him. “I don’t want to get my people involved in your personal vendetta,” she added.
How can she know about that? Is it that obvious? Hux wondered, feeling surprised and even more annoyed because he apparently couldn't hide his motives from this girl he had never met before.
He huffed.
“I’m planning to turn myself in with the resistance” He stated. “I have valuable information that can bring down the leaders of the first order, in exchange for my immunity.”
She looked at him, turning one eyebrow up. “And you think they will just let you walk in there?” she responded.
“I have been providing them with information the last months, and 2 of the resistance's key figures know about my identity. I’ll take my chances if I can get Ren and Pryde to pay.” He said, not able to hide his disdain for both.
He cursed inwardly. He wasn’t the type to play hero, he usually let other people do the dirty work for him. But now he was practically alone, only this girl was here, but she won’t be of much help anyway. He had to do this on his own, and this was the only plan he could come up with. It could work, but it was risky and he didn’t like it.
“I think I can get us into contact with a resistance faction if we’re at my place” the girl said, holding a finger on her lips and looking back to the cockpit. Her droid was following her movements. “I’ll put in the coordinates!” she said and stood up.
“Hey, you can’t just decide on your own!” Hux shouted back at her, but she already closed the door to the cockpit.
This girl was going to be the death of him.
And how did she lose those handcuffs?
Chapter 3 - escape from the psychopath (I)
Armitage Hux went back to the cockpit, seeing the girl bowing down over the panel, putting in the digits. “Apparently, it’s going to take us 28 hours to get there, due to the hyperdrive malfunction” she mumbled. The little droid was walking over the cockpit’s dashboard, keeping an eye on Hux.
She turned around, scanning him from head to toe with a questionable look on her face.
What’s her problem now? He thought, feeling uncomfortable under her gaze.
“Let me see that wound.” she said, walking straight to him.
He jumped back. No way he was going to let her come that close.
“I’ll have a look myself!” he hissed. He pulled his uniform straight, as if he could remove the damage by adjusting it, and quickly stepped out of the cockpit, head high to keep up appearances. He then marched through the wardroom and into the private quarters, locking the door.
He let out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding, wondering in the back of his mind what had actually just happened.
Armitage carefully pulled off his uniform and the blaster-repulsive vest he was wearing underneath. It was pierced, as was expected from such a close shot. He was right to wear it that day; he knew the chance of being shot sooner or later was growing more and more realistic. It was the risk he knew he was taking, by leaking information, after all.
On his stomach, right where the shot landed, he found new scar tissue, but it was way too shallow for such a blast. So it is true, she somehow stopped the impact from the blast. It must’ve happened that instant Pryde took the shot. But why? At that moment, she could not possibly know that I could get her out of there.
He was puzzled. Now that he thought about it, he didn’t even know her name. And she looked pretty oblivious from who he was. How that's even possible, he couldn’t understand.
And it utterly annoyed him.
Hux found 2 bacta patches in the first aid kit and applied them on his chest and upper left leg. The bleeding of his leg was still not entirely stopped and now that the adrenaline wasn’t subduing his pain receptors any more, he started to feel the continuous tingle of the burn.
His thoughts automatically went back to the moment he regained consciousness in one of the many halls of the Steadfast . Only now, it seemed to seep through how the girl had been way too close to him. Physical contact has always made him cringe and there has been more of said contact than he has had in a very long time.
All what had happened the last hours on that ship was catastrophic, and it all could be summarised to him losing control. Losing control over his carefully laid out plan, his precious army and his own body. Feelings of resentment, hate, disgust and spite rose in his chest like a tidal wave.
He rubbed his face, trying to concentrate on the tasks at hand. He hoped the wounds would heal soon with the help of the patches, because he was starting to feel worn out already. He knew his body could take the damage, history proved that already. But he also knew its limits and the effects of blood loss, which were already making him feel light in the head.
He then took one of his spare uniforms from the wardrobe and decided to get back to the wardroom. He had to find out as much as possible about that girl and her home planet. He needed to know in advance what his options were.
Oh, and he should still check the rations.
Did he just flee away when I was trying to help him? Miko was perplexed. His behaviour didn’t really add up to what she observed during their escape. He was so full of himself before, and now he got out of here like he was scared of me helping him out...
She went to look for the officer, but he locked himself up in what she assumed was the bedroom of the ship. She then started wandering around, to explore the shuttle a bit.
Great. If that’s the bedroom, there’s only one. She let out a huff. It’s his private shuttle after all. How was she going to get through the next 28 hours?
She heard the door open and saw him step out of the room, wearing an immaculate uniform. He must’ve changed just now, she mused. He’s really keen on his appearance, it seems. What a kriffing self centered jerk. He sat down on the bench again and started tapping his fingers on the table, which slightly worked on her already overworked nerves.
“What’s your name?” he asked bluntly.
Oh, we didn’t introduce ourselves yet, that’s right!
She realised, welcoming the conversation despite his uninviting tone. ‘I’m Miko Ylena, engineer at Tagge Industries, communication division on Utapau Four. So that’s where we’re heading.” She casually swinged her hand to the cockpit, stepped closer and went to sit down, too. PC walked from her shoulder onto the table.
“Hmm… that’s a first order plant, if I recall correctly?” he wondered.
She replied: “In theory, yes. It’s been a family business and from what I understood, nothing has changed much over the years. First, there was the empire, now, the first order. There is a garrison stationed to oversee the production, but Henry Tagge’s still waving the scepter. Which is a good thing for us, for now. If we do our jobs well and without too much hassle, we get paid enough to come by.”
She looked at her gloved hands. She was still wearing part of her working gear. Somehow, someone had overpowered and drugged her on the way back home. She remembered some hooded individuals, but that's all.
PC walked up to her again, as if the little droid felt her slight distress, and went to sit between her arms.
“We’ll have to lay low so those troops don’t spot me.” Hux said.
She looked at him, quizzical. Her mind has been working overtime, she was full of nerves and definitely not thinking straight.
“Why? Is your hair color that rare?” she blurted out, sporting a sly smile while thinking back. He did stand out in the crowd. She remembered that ginger hair as the first thing she had noticed, when she first saw him on the bridge of the Steadfast .
But at that same moment, she already felt bad for saying it. The officer closed his eyes and was audibly biting his teeth after hearing her reaction. Woops. He must’ve misinterpreted me… she realised. It seemed like reacting assertively was a way for her to cope with the stress of the situation, and maybe she shouldn’t have started smiling. It didn't seem to land well with him at all.
On the other hand, why should she care? It’s not like he had been friendly with her. He ordered her around like she was a subordinate of him, and it was continuously besting her tolerance level towards him. She just wanted to get him out of her life as soon as possible, before one of them did or say something they might regret.
What did she just say?
“What does my hair color have to do with this at all?” Hux requested, annoyed. He felt his anger level rising again. “Do you even know who I am?” he added.
“No. Some officer that was shot because he was a traitor?” she casually answered, like it was nothing. She wasn’t looking him in the face, and he could only interpret this as defiance. He started fuming. Seriously? She even works in a first order alleged company and doesn’t know about me?
“Don’t you know anything about the commanders of the first order?” he questioned with a lower voice.
“nope, I’m not interested in politics” she replied casually, while she was inspecting her gloves, as if this conversation was of no importance.
What? Not interested in politics? How can she say that with such impudence?
“Wh… “ he started his rhetoric, but apparently she didn't notice that he was going to reply, and she unintentionally interrupted him: “I never paid attention to those topics in the academy, it’s not like I have any say in it. And it's manipulated shit anyway. It's a former imperial academy after all. ” She crossed her arms and leaned back. “Why do you ask?” she added.
Hux mind short circuited. “How can you know your planet’s coordinates by heart, but not know who I am?” He was baffled, and she still looked unimpressed. What’s with this girl?
Under normal circumstances, people were either scared or cautious towards him. At least, for the last 15 years that is. This was a new experience for him and it didn't sit well.
“I’m General Armitage Hux, commander of the First Order army. I lead the training programme of the first order troopers as well as the R&D department. My research team developed technologies such as the active hyperspace tracking you just witnessed. I oversaw the construction of Starkiller base."
He stopped right there, he wasn’t going to let her know he played a major role in the destruction of the new republic and their pitiful resistance. He needed her to believe he was worth something for the resistance, alive.
”I was running for Grand Marshall, becoming the most powerful person in the whole first order, next to the supreme leader." he stated, pressing his index finger on the table to make his point. He was feeling a bit better hearing himself say those things. Especially after all that had happened these last hours.
She was still looking at him with that sceptical look. She took a breath, then paused for a second. In the meantime, that droid of her climbed back to his usual spot on her shoulder. “Should I be taken aback or just be disgusted?” she replied, crossing her arms.
What?
“Either way, do you know what they were planning to do with me?” she interrupted, trying to change the subject.
Hux was sitting there, not knowing what to do and not really registering her request. How can she just change the subject and react like that? She just keeps addressing me like I’m some unimportant individual that just happened to be on her way… and why ‘disgusted’ anyway? He thought. He was still watching her like he didn’t know what to do with her.
She broke the silence: “Look, general Hux, I don’t want to have anything to do with this. I never asked to be abducted. I was bored, but not that bored. So I’m going to drop you off at Utapau Four and point you to my connection. From then on, I’m going back to my boring life and you can do whatever the shit you want to.”
This girl is unbelievable, he inwardly sighed.
“You do realize that you can’t just go back to your old life. The First Order just picked you up from there.” he said with a low voice. She replied angrily: “You mean they abducted me. They stunned me for fuck sake!”
Why is she always swearing? He was starting to get seriously annoyed yet again. This girl is really going to bring out the worst of me .
He breathed through his nose and thought back to her initial question, changing the subject back before both of them started shouting again.
“From what I can deduce, they were testing if you were force sensitive. I have no intel on who requested this test and why it was carried out.”
Actually, wasn’t he going to keep quiet about this? Again an example on how she's somehow indirectly messing with me , he realized. He cursed inwardly. Why couldn’t he be more of his manipulative self?
Miko responded: “Me? Force sensitive? What a joke! I should at least know by myself, then, right?” she said with a laughing voice. She was now leaning backwards even more, making him wonder if she was going to slide off from the seat soon and fall on the deck. That would teach her from behaving so... uncivilized , he amusingly thought.
Hux wanted to call her out on her demeanor, just to get all the frustrations out of his system, but he refrained himself from doing so.
“Was a blood monster taken from you recently?” He asked instead.
The girl looked at her droid, which looked back in return, as if the thing would know better. “Not very recently, a few years ago. It’s standard procedure to see if we don’t get polluted by the iridium.” she mentioned.
“It’s feasible that those results were picked up by someone within the order.” Hux reasoned. He knew he had approved an order to build an automatic system to upload and interpret blood samples before. About 13 years ago, he himself had the directive to exterminate any force sensitive beings he could discover within the ranks, but that was under Snoke’s reign. This reeked of something different.
It was highly possible that this system was still operational and reused for other purposes, unbeknownst to him.
“That guy, the one that shot you, acted like he was doing a routine job," she mentioned, “to lock me up for transport, as usual”.” she added, while mimicking the allegiant general.
Hux shivered unwillingly when hearing Pryde’s reference, sentences full of elaborate insults addressed to the other general already forming up in his head. He subdued the urge to let them all out and tried to concentrate on what really could have been happening.
Hmm… if Pryde’s involved with force users, and Ren never mentioned it in the supreme board meetings, I can assume that Ren is not aware of this with a high probability. Is this some plan from that supposedly resurrected Emperor to use these force sensitives for his own good? Or maybe just kill them to get rid of the competitors? He didn’t like the first scenario one bit. Honestly, he'd prefer the second one much more and finally get rid of those freaks.
But first, he had to make sure this particular freak could be put to some good use.
He looked up again, seeing her questioning eyes directed back at him. They seemed almost yellow due to the soft light in the wardroom. They made him feel uncomfortable, as if they were piercing through his image and looking to read his mind. The fact that she was a possible force sensitive, didn’t help at all.
“I have no clue” he lied.
This information might come in handy, but for now I need to keep her in the dark as much as possible, he mused.
She didn’t seem to be happy with his answer, but she let it slide.
“What should I do then?” she asked him, as if he was the source of her problems.
He hadn’t thought about her situation at all, it's not like he cared anyway. But maybe, if she was perceptive to his suggestions, there was something to gain for him as well. She did prove to be a relatively good slicer and that inventive little droid of hers was also on his radar.
“Since the First Order might still be on the lookout for you, your best option is to disappear or try to join the resistance.” He reasoned.
“But I can’t just leave my father and friends behind!” She half-shouted.
“You do realise that if you stay, you’ll just be killed and probably kill them in the process” he coldly reacted. She’s not only stubborn, she’s also short sighted. This is going to be a very long trip, he thought again.
He stood up and righted his back.
“I’m going to retreat and take some sleep. We should discuss tactics afterwards.” he concluded. He went to his chambers and closed the door.
Some trivia!
Tagge industries: The Tagge family is a famous family throughout the whole saga (legacy and new), but I made up Henry. He's the only one with a normal name and he's probably the only moderate Tagge family member out there... he's a bit of an outcast 😂
Utapau Four: one of the 9 moons of Utapau. There are moons in canon, but I made up the whole moon's population and geography and so on.
Chapter 3 - escape from the psychopath (II)
Did he just leave me here, just like that?
Miko let out an annoyed sigh. She was exhausted, but the thrill of recent events was still raging through her body. She noticed that she had been reacting very assertively to everything, but then again, it’s not like she was ever abducted, tested upon, jumping through hyperspace and stuck on a ship.
And accidentally saving the biggest prick in the galaxy in the process. From the grave he had dug for himself, no less.
She started wandering around the wardroom, finding out what was where, thinking which spot could serve best for taking a nap. They still had a long way ahead of them, after all.
She found weapons, and the pantry as well. She dug through it, took something to eat and lay down on the bench.
Her droid walked from her shoulder onto her stomach, turned around to watch her and sat down.
At least the bench was long enough for her to lay straight. Or I am short enough, she mused.
Back home, she was always the largest of her friends. The inhabitants of Utapau Four were shorter than the average human-like races. They originated from the Arkanian offshoot a very long time ago, bred for mining labor. Due to gravitational differences on the fourth moon of Utapau, before it was completely terraformed, their race evolved this way. She was a bit of an exception though, because of her mother’s genetic material, which was Corellian.
She stared at the durasteel ceiling. If Utapau Four was no option for her any more, maybe she could travel to Corellia, to see where her mother grew up. Surely she could start a new life there, out of the frigging Worst Order's prying eyes.
Or maybe not.
She didn’t know much about her mother’s past. The only memories she had, didn’t tell anything about who her mother used to be, before Miko was born. And her father was avoiding the conversation for years now.
I have to ask him one last time, before I leave. Maybe ask him about this crazy abduction as well. Some of his resistance friends might've heard something about it. It’s too suspicious.
Kriff, am I really going to leave them?
The thought of having to say goodbye to her only family left, felt heavy on her chest. She never left the substitute planet, and maybe now, so suddenly, it was for good. This whole situation was still unreal and unsettling.
She finally felt the fatigue taking over, having a hard time keeping her eyelids open.
‘Hey PC, keep an eye on me while I fall asleep, will you?’ She requested her droid with a hoarse voice. The droid hummed positively as a response. She didn’t feel comfortable around that general, so she felt glad having her droid around as a bodyguard. The little droid looked up and then placed itself back on her stomach, while she slowly drifted away.
About 6 hours later.
Why is there trash on the table? Hux wondered.
He just had given up on taking some rest, the recent incidents haunting his brain and ripping him out of his slumber again and again.
He just did a few steps outside his cabin, and his blood pressure was already rising to the same agitated level as before he left for a break.
He went further and opened the pantry, only to find that things were not in their initial place.
He looked at the girl sleeping on the couch, striking lightning with his eyes.
How could she make a mess of everything so fast? And not clean it up afterwards? He bristled and started to put everything back into place, his movements harsh.
When he was done with the cupboard, he placed the jars on the counter to the exact spot they belonged, according to him.
It took him quite some time, since the compartiment was slightly different from the one in his quarters on the Finalizer. But once everything was back in order, he felt his calm returning.
If she ever does that again… he started thinking, clenching his hands tight. Stars, why was he so easily provoked?
Right at that moment, he heard giggling from behind his back. He turned around, only to find Miko silently chuckling. Her hair was even messier than before and her eyes were still foggy from napping. Combined with her snickering sounds, it made her look like she was drunk or high. Her little droid was nowhere to be seen.
He turned his head down and closed his eyes for a minute.
“Are you mocking me?” he asked with a dangerously low voice.
“How can you focus on something like that? Aren’t you like - a general - busy with much more important things than how your stuff is put?” she said, obviously finding the whole situation funny, although there was a certain sharp edge to her words.
Did she just taunt me even more?
Insolent brat, he thought.
Anger started boiling up again quickly, since he hadn’t entirely calmed down from their encounter before. The girl seemed to cope with stress in a very annoying way. Or maybe she's always like that, he wondered in disdain.
I should definitely get rid of her as soon as possible, he decided. The fact that she took a ration unbeknownst to him and moreover without permission, wasn’t working in her favor either.
“Shouldn’t you focus on our escape plan or something, instead of combing your hair?” she added, letting out a snicker and rolling her eyes.
He did wash up and combed his hair like he usually does when he starts the day cycle. It’s part of my status as an officer in a leading position, how could she just laugh that away?
He started fuming. He had already realised he couldn’t treat her like a subordinate; his usual set of verbal threats were useless against her. And for a fraction of time, he didn’t know how to handle her.
The idea only added fuel to the fire.
He suddenly hit both fists on the table before her, too enraged to be surprised by his own reaction. “Do not mock me! You shouldn’t stick your rude nose in someone else’s business!” he shouted, losing his cool but barely even noticing it. If she was a subordinate of him, or any other crewmember part of his flagship, he had her locked away already. And then put her on rehabilitation duty. Let the indoctrination programme prove its success. Such misbehaviour should be dealt with accordingly. But now, he had to use other means to put her in her place. If she wanted to argue, she was going to regret this, he angrily thought.
“I’m stuck in this ship as much as you are, so it’s my business too! You need to get your priorities straight” she shouted back at him. Her facial expression shifted from laughter to rage in a mere second. Her eyes were slightly wet, as if she was on the brink of tears.
Priorities straight? Does she even know what she’s saying? He felt like he was going to explode.
“And oh, excuse me if I disturb your unreasonable need for order! Why are you even still wearing that uncomfortable uniform, if you haven’t noticed it yet, you’re not a general any more!” she added, volume rising.
“Shut your mouth, you’re being blatantly foolish! You can’t possibly understand this! You didn’t even have any clue why you were abducted!" he threw back at her, "You were just going to go back to your pitiful old life, like nothing happened!”
She was going to push him over the edge, make him lose his self-control and she was going to regret it.
Miko stood up and angrily faced him. He was still leaning over the table, so they were able to look straight into each other's eyes.
“At least I had a life! You seem like you dug a big hole for yourself, that other guy got you hard there! And all you care about now is your appearance. Wake up, there’s no one to impress here!” she ostentatiously swinged her hands around, pointing to the empty space.
“At least I have an impeccable appearance, you look like you haven’t washed for days, and what’s with those piercings anyway? I’m surprised you’re allowed to walk around with that at Tagge’s department! If it was under my supervision, this wasn’t tolerated!” he yelled, and she immediately yelled back: “It’s what they call style, mister general! But maybe someone of your age is not aware of that!”
“Are you calling me old?” She’s really going too far now, he thought somewhere in the back of his mind, too clouded by rage. His blood kept racing through his veins and each word that came out of her mouth only increased the pressure.
This argument made no sense at all, the insults they threw at each other were downright pathetic, but he was too far gone and too hyped on the adrenaline of the past events to think clearly.
“Yes. And pale." She added, her face getting red from keeping up the volume with his shouting. "Have you seen any sunlight in the last decade? Lucky your hair stands out a bit, otherwise you’d really be mistaken for a corpse. If we land on my moon, make sure you won’t get sunburnt!”
Did she really mock my hair? Again?
Hux snapped.
He instinctively and viciously reached out to her throat with his right gloved hand. He took her neck in a tight grip, starting to strangle her. The leather of his glove was making a scratching sound from the pressure he applied, which matched his angry breathing.
He looked down at her reddened face with furious eyes. Her amber tinted irises were starting to change size, her expression going from angry and surprised to alarmed. It gave him cold chills, which provided him with an odd sense of satisfaction, somewhere deep beneath the raging anger.
She frantically grabbed his arm with both her hands and tried to shout, but only a feeble squeak came out.
Silencing her felt good, very very satisfying, after all the recent tension buildup. This is what she gets from driving me mad, he thought, still so angry with her behaviour towards him. He wasn't sure if and when he would let her go, he was too far gone to think clearly now.
She started to violently shake his arm and began to writhe with her legs, trying to get some grip so she could get loose. But he was towering over her, too strong and too enraged.
She was harshly pressed against the backrest of the bench, Hux had stepped aside to discard the table and was now leaning over her. There was no escape from his pressing hand, and he could feel her throat moving, trying to swallow or maybe gag as a reflex to get her airtube clear.
His rough anger turned into a smoldering rage when the fire from her eyes was starting to fade and was turning into a desperate plea. Her leg movement slowed down until they fell limp. He could see her lips moving, begging for her release, but no sound came out.
And then he felt something else than anger surging through his body. At this very moment he felt in total control. Oh, he missed that feeling. He took in the sensation like an addict finally experiencing the long-denied rush again. He could do literally anything to her, the way she crumbled under his grip. Anything. And the lower part of his body started thinking about doing something to her.
PC came out of nowhere. The tiny droid quickly jumped on his outstretched arm, instantly threatening Hux to give him a power surge.
Hux looked down to the suddenly menacing droid and snapped out of his trance. He abruptly loosened his grip, violently shook the droid from his arm, looked back at Miko with a bewildered look and stumbled back unceremoniously.
The girl lay scrambled on the bench, touching her violated throat and heaving heavily to catch her breath. She turned to face him with squinted eyes.
Their gaze locked and instantly Hux was hit by a wave of cold sweat, the intensity of the amber made him breathe erratically.
After a slight hesitation, he quickly turned around and stomped back to his cabin. He shut the door the second he entered.
What the hell was that? He hastily wondered, trying to control his raging heartbeat. He rubbed his face, removing the sweat from his forehead.
He looked down. This has never happened before. He has always been in control of himself, he never lost his cool like this. He was the one who could drive another person insane, this was the first time it was the other way around. Well, at least after his father was removed.
And in what way… What had just happened to him? I was always stronger than this. Was I going to murder her, out of rage, or… rape her?
He made sure the door was locked, took a glass of water and drank it down in one shot. He needed to stay inside, cool down, think about this incident and what to do next.
I need a cold shower.
Chapter 4 - delicious disaster (I)
Miko coughed violently to catch her stolen breath. Her whole body was still shaking from the shock. She hadn't seen that outburst coming, but maybe she was too angered with his delusions of grandeur and stupid misplaced pride that were based on nothing but lies and evil deeds. She was so stressed and angered at him for leaving her out in the dark, it had clouded her mind. She hated how he was nitpicking on stupid details, as if this situation wasn't already hard enough for both of them. But, maybe if she thought this through, she should've known he was a psychopathic maniac.
She never cared much for physical strength before, never needed it in particular because she was the tallest one at home anyway. Although Utapau Four was under First Order rule, Tagge's influence on the planet made sure she lived in a rather protected bubble. Consequently, she absolutely wasn't prepared for any kind of attack like this.
She felt lucky she programmed her droid well.
She gently rubbed her sore throat. She could feel where the leather had left its marks. It already started stinging more, the moment she grazed her skin. This was going to bruise ugly.
She gulped. She decided she had to be extra careful with this man. He was definitely more dangerous than she anticipated. Maybe she should look into the armory again, to arm herself with something, anything, just in case. Not that she was able to shoot, but that won't matter if he came close to her. She hoped she wouldn’t hesitate too much.
Miko thought back to the moment he lunged at her and slowly started to feel confused. Something was bothering her, other than the fact that he tried to strangle her to death. His eyes went from pure rage to something else. When PC jumped on his arm, it was like he snapped out of some trance. When he did, he looked bewildered, confused, vulnerable?
But what bothered - scared - her even more, was that short moment before he let go of her neck. His grey-green eyes looked dark, glassy, and simmering hot.
Kriff. What am I thinking?
The cold water of the refresher was slowly calming Hux down. He tried to ignore what happened, but he knew the moment he was going to step out of his quarters, the situation was going to be very awkward. He should try to collect his messed up thoughts.
That outburst reminded him too much about Ren, and he didn't like it one bit. This wasn't him, he should be above this. He has always been a master in self-control, since he's been in charge, up until now.
And then, there was that other sensation he experienced, slowly creeping up on the skin of his back, giving him hot chills.
He could feel his groin get itchy again, and turned the knob of the refresher to make the water even colder.
His mind involuntarily started drifting to the past. He hadn’t felt like this for a very long time. It’s not like he was immune to the hormonal reactions of his body, but getting the chance to actually profit from a situation and get his physical needs satisfied… that was another thing.
There had been a few people he met when networking, trying to get to his money or get access to intel. He wasn’t stupid to give in to their feeble attempts. Fellow officers or even cadets had been trying to use him to get higher up in ranks. He disapproved of this behaviour, finding it utterly pathetic. Climbing up in the ranks and assuming a higher position should be done by knowledge, wits and politics. And, if necessary, by manipulation, but only if done well. Bribery in any form was something he had used as a tactic before, but never to get higher up. It always concurs with a significant backlash. There were always loose ends.
Apart from that, he never was keen on the thought of having sex with a colleague itself, reminding him too much about what had happened in the past. A bed partner could’ve asked troublesome questions he rather wouldn’t like to answer. He unintentionally rubbed his stomach.
There had been a few times when he thought about getting his way though, unsurprisingly with people that were not part of the First Order. An escort on a diplomatic mission. The citizen that would've given him all, just to stop the military operation. That one feisty prisoner who had no respect for him.
It seems he wanted to be the one choosing who he wanted to use, not being used himself. He was done with that.
But eventually the situation never really lended itself for it. Although he made it to general, there was always someone above or beside him he had to report to. And his ambition and the future of the First Order were always a higher priority.
But right now… he was alone, with a girl, all innocent and naive, on his ship, slowly travelling to possible hostile territory and they only had a few cards to play. He knew there was a significant chance that he wouldn’t survive much longer than a couple of days.
And… she actually didn’t look that bad, he admitted to himself. She angered him utterly, but apparently that awoke an unexpected gnawing feeling in him. A kind of itch that needs to be stilled, or it would haunt him for the rest of his days. A sensation he tried to hide away for so long, but suddenly had broken free.
The way her eyes shined like a blazing fire when she was mad at him or enthusiastic about who knows what, automatically popped into his mind. They were as strong as her idiotic will, passionate but also chaotic. All things he should despise, things he always despised in people, but, he didn’t want to admit it, they looked so attractive right now, like something he’s been missing for eternity. He wanted to get a taste of it.
She was like a fire he wanted to contain just enough not to get it extinguished.
Oh, and those hips. He suddenly remembered the way she stood in the cockpit, bending over the controls of the ship and checking out the issue on the navigation panel. He didn't feel how his fingernails were leaving marks in his palms.
He was completely lost in these disturbing thoughts, the cold recycled water still slowly streaming over his body.
This was absolutely not the way he was supposed to be thinking to calm down.
Can I force myself onto her? He wondered. This might be my last chance to get this nonsensical physical need satisfied, without any consequences. There’s no career that I need to uphold this time. I could do whatever I want to her.
He rubbed his face again, as if that would help him to start thinking straight.
But is it a wise thing to do? Can I still manipulate her into helping me out on that moon of hers? It was her father she wanted to contact, if I recall correctly?
Hux stared at the wall of the shower cabin for a few seconds. If that man knows his daughter well, he’ll most likely know something is up.
He sighed and looked down, the water dripping from his hair, following the indents of his cheekbone, down to his chin then leaving his skin to fall to the sink.
The risk was too big, and he was feeling like a coward again. But in the back of his mind, he was not sure if he could bring himself to not doing anything.
He at least had to try, for his own sake, he wanted to convince himself.
Miko decided to camp in the cockpit’s seat. She had taken a blaster from the armory and had positioned it on top of her legs. PC placed himself next to the blaster. She was staring at the stars flashing by. Only a day ago, she loved the view, but now she felt a bit claustrophobic. There was nowhere she could go and hide from that asshole, the cold durasteel hull of the ship was now her confinement. She was disgusted by the First Order general’s assault, even if she probably provoked him.
She was even more disgusted by what she thought afterwards, but she tried to ignore that particular train of thoughts, not wanting to go there again.
He still lashed out at her like it was nothing, so he absolutely wasn’t to be trusted. She wouldn’t let him corner her again. She has always been in charge of her own persona and freedom, so in no way she was going to let him come close without her consent.
Am I ever going to grant him that? She couldn't help but wonder.
Her head absolutely said no, but there was something nagging in the back of her mind. She never met a man like him. A kriffing self centered, merciless, fragging vain asshole, a breathing example of the Worst Order and every norm she despises. But when talking or shouting at him, she felt alive. It was good to get rid of the frustrations of the previous problematic events and if she was honest, in the life she led before; all of her friends back home were either too kind or too scared of her. This man was a challenge, and it was attracting her in every bad way there could be, she secretly admitted to herself.
But, on the other hand, this probably could've happened with anyone she met outside of her home planet, she realised that much. The things that have occured the previous day, the adrenaline rush, and being locked up in the same cramped space together, probably have been influencing her, too. And then again, she never really met anyone taller than she was, which didn’t help either, but wasn't a particular reason to take an interest in him.
She knew she should stop thinking about things that never should happen anyway, and focus on what was coming ahead.
What was she going to do?
She stared into the stars, trying to collect her thoughts, but hopelessly failing.
#star wars fanfic#general hux x oc#armitage hux fanfic#general hux smut#not so much in these first chapters#it's actually more of a slow burn#but with smut
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(fanfic announcement) COMING SOON...
It’s 35 ABY. The First Order is on the cusp of galactic domination, and only the ragtag fragments of the Resistance remain in their way. With victory so close he can almost taste it, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is confident the Order will soon become the next true Empire.
Just one problem: there’s a spy in their ranks, and they aren’t working alone. It’s up to you, the F.O.’s chief corporate investigator, to sniff out the traitors before it’s too late. The clock is ticking, and Leader Ren is an impatient man.
But be warned. Nothing about this case is what it seems.
--
Read the gripping tale on AO3 starting Sunday 6/19! Chapter updates every 1-2 weeks
A SPY IN OUR RANKS
Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy (Canon-Compliant, During TROS)
Genre: Espionage, Mystery, Thriller, Noir, Action, Humor, Romance, Smut
Rating: Mature (for language, some violence, and eventual smut)
Characters: Kylo Ren|Ben Solo, Armitage Hux, Reader, Dopheld Mitaka, Knights of Ren
Ships: Reader x Kylo, Minor Kylux, Minor Mentions of Reylo
Chapters: approx. 16 (subject to change)
Author: ThatF_ckingFangirl
Update: New launch date is next Sunday
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Happy Birthday, Abi (NSFW)
[KoR and Kylo x female!reader (Abi)]
Happy birthday, @findyourdarkness
tw: blood play, triple penetration, oral sex, predator-prey, bondage, degradation, boot kink, sadomasochism
word count: 2k
There is a sense of freedom even while being chased--hunted by the predator that had fingered the collar around your throat, the collar that reminded you that you were theirs. Their favorite pet, marked as such and given ample attention to drill this fact into you. The gentle and rough caresses alike leave you breathless, craving more. This is one of your favorite games. To run through the forest of trees. There have been other settings, too, however the trees prolong the game, offering you cover and slowing Ap’lek’s movements. He was your predator, you the prey. Your feet pounded against the ground just as your heart raced in your chest. A swooping sensation in your stomach nearly drew a giggle from you as you threw yourself around another tree to duck out of sight.
Cardo would not be far behind Ap’lek. He had been the one to fashion the collar that marked you as theirs and that would be utilized in full with the restraints that would bind you to one of the trees. Keep you in position for them to do as they will. The very thought made you clench, caused you to falter in your next step. You managed to regain your composure enough to surge forward again and keep running. The longer it took them to recapture you, the hungrier they would be. You groaned in the back of your throat as you ducked under a stray branch. Your fingers touched the front of the collar. Toying with the metal ring, you resisted the urge to look over your shoulder as a means of seeing how close Ap’lek was to you.
You yelped as the Mandalorian axe swung past you. Its blade buried into the truck of the tree and its shaft caught you in the chest, knocking you to your back. You moaned in pain as your head struck the ground, albeit not too hard. Had it been a moment sooner, the impact might have been entirely uncomfortable.
Before you had a chance to rise, a boot pushed on your chest. Ap’lek twisted around, pivoting on his ankle, and tilted his head while peering down at you. He effectively pinned you with such little effort on his part. The boot shifted higher until the toe of its sole was against your lips, the heel on your throat. You swallowed, your throat pushing uncomfortably yet deliciously against the boot. Your tongue peeked out of your mouth. Dirt and leather mingled. A grunt left Ap’lek. His hand moved to the front of his pants, stroking his hardening cock. “Desperate little girl,” he purred. “Strip for me.”
It was as your hands were shoving at your pants that you heard a second set of footsteps. Cardo was arriving. You felt wetness pool from between your legs, your thighs pressing together and making your task more difficult. For a second time you licked at the boot that was on your mouth. Ap’lek pushed down, pinning your tongue between his boot and your chin. One of your hands abandoned its task to grasp at his ankle. Cardo was in your periphery. As you had known he would be, he carried with him a pile of restraints. “Get her ready.” At Cardo’s words, Ap’lek removed his foot from you. You whined at the loss of contact. The sound trailed off as the Knight of Ren jerked you up onto your feet. His hands were rough, tugging at your clothing, not caring that he tore them. Stripped down to just your collar, you tilted back your head and reveled in the sensation of Cardo running a leather strap from your hip up to the side of your face. Its coolness kissed your cheek. The ring gag fit snugly and preceded the leash that was wrapped around the tree and clipped onto your collar. Next your arms were snatched up by both; Ap’lek and Cardo worked your legs apart, each secured to a different branch of the tree with plenty of slack for their planned activities. You were shoved down onto your knees. Your mouth was level with Ap’lek’s cock, which he had freed just as Cardo had secured the last of the restraints. Ap’lek pushed into your mouth, his thick length moving along your tongue and towards the back of your throat. His hand was on your head and he dug his fingers into your hair, yanking you forward to swallow more of him.
More footsteps, the other Knights of Ren arriving for the prize now that you had been caught. They came from different directions. A harsh slap on your ass, a second hand on the back of your head, forcing your nose to meet Ap’lek’s pubic hair, informed you that Ushar had arrived. He pulled at your hair, reached around you with his other hand, and attached one then the other clamps to your nipples. The pain sent a jolt of heat spiderwebbing throughout your body. More wetness trickled from between your legs. Only in this moment did you wish that you had your hands free. You wanted to touch yourself--as though he could read your mind, Ushar shoved his boot between your legs and ground the toe of it against your cunt, smearing your slick juices along the leather. You bucked your hips forward in return, eyes pricking at the corners of your eyes as Ap’lek started to fuck your mouth. His cock twitched on your undulating tongue.
Cardo and Trudgen, who had been fourth to arrive, knelt on either side of you. Their hands grabbed at your shoulders, pushing down which tugged at the restraint that kept your wrists secure, making it reach its limit and the bindings bite into your flesh. Vicrul twirled his scythe upside down while he drew up beside Ap’lek. He shifted his weapon downwards and allowed Ushar to grab hold of it as well. The pair of them controlled the pressure of the blade that sliced delicately through the first few layers of your skin to allow blood to pearl up to the surface and begin spilling. Kuruk reached around from behind you and smeared the blood up towards your breasts, swirling the crimson around your captive nipples. Ap’lek rocked his hips more slowly to allow himself more time to enjoy the sight as he fucked your mouth.
Kylo arrived last, his helmet’s visor pointed down and leaving no false impressions; he was watching you with great interest. Seeing what his Knights were doing to you. A second cut parallel to the first had blood running down towards your cunt, where it mixed with your slick on Ushar’s boot, which rocked back and forth against your clit and inner thighs, staining them with the coppery substance. Each cut drew a light whine from you alongside a hiss; each noise sending vibrations along Ap’lek’s cock. Cardo reached up with the hand not on your shoulder and pinched your nose, effectively cutting off your air. At the same time, Trudgen reached for your neck, pressing down on its sides. Your body began to thrum from its blood and oxygen deprivation. Your cunt clenched around nothing--and then around a finger from one of the Knights, possibly Ushar, who had at last shifted his boot off of you. Cardo and Trudgen relent to allow you time to recover. They alternate, ensuring that you do not pass out yet still your world is spinning, clouding at the edges then temporarily clearing.
As a second then third finger is added into you, Kylo Ren came closer at long last. He lowered himself onto his knees. Two fingers toyed with your clit, bringing the blood from your pubis down to it, rocking the nub back and forth. Then he shoved into you, his fingers stretching in the opposite directions than Ushar’s. His other hand parted his clothing, freeing his thick cock, which he took into his hand and started to stroke. Ap’lek pulled out of your mouth, hitting his dick against your lips, which remained held open by the ring gag. You slipped your tongue out of your mouth so that when he hits again, the underside of his shaft slammed against it. He stroked himself twice before pushing back into your mouth, his thrusting relentless as he sought release.
“Fuck, look at you, such a slut for us.” You were not sure which of them spoke, but their words elicited a whimper of desire from you. The fingers abandoned your cunt. Ushar and Kylo pushed forward in unison with one another. The heads of their cocks were so thick--Maker, if you hadn’t done it before, you would have wondered if it was even possible to have both of them inside of you at the same time. You were stretched open so wide. The girth of just one would have been testing your limits. Together, the cocks made your legs spasm. The twitch of your jerking body caused Vicrul’s weapon to bite more deeply into you. More blood spilled, coating the cocks that were pushing into you. It acted as lubricant, easing the thrust. Kylo threw back his head, swearing. Fingers on your clit started to bring you to the edge only to abandon you. Your inner walls clenched in pulses, which made the denial of your orgasm hit harder.
Ushar pulled out and began to push into your ass after preparing you with his fingers. Trudgen tugged at the nipple clamps, strengthening the spikes of pain. Vicrul had turned his weapon so that the metal blade kissed your flesh without cutting or piercing now that the Knights fucked you in earnest. You were completed filled. The strain in your arms and limbs a wonderful contrast to the new thrum of pleasure as Cardo started to toy with your clit. In the back of your mind, you tried to remember that they will not allow you to cum until at least one of them had done so. That did not stop the whine from escaping you when Cardo stops. This noise was fast replaced by a yelp as Ushar bucked his hips harshly into yours. He groaned at the sound of pain.
Ap’lek pushed your head down onto him, making you swallow his cock completely as it twitched and his cum spilled down your throat. Vicrul worked at the front of his pants. The two traded places, the blade of the scythe turning to once more cut shallowly into you. Drool and cum dribbled out of your mouth in the time it took for Vicrul to free himself and push into your orifice. Ushar reached around to grab at your breasts, kneading them and flicking at the clamps. A thumb at your clit. A hand around your throat. How they managed to move in perfect unison, you did not know. It caused a tingle to run along your spine just as your vision blurred at the edges, pulsed. You were in your body and without all at the same time. You pitched forward, nearly spilling--but once again they denied you.
“Not yet, little slut,” one of them growled. “You made us wait. Now it’s your turn.” You swirled your tongue along Vicrul’s slit and rolled your hips as best you could, wanting them to use you. Kylo stared down where your lap met his, his visor allowing your to watch the reflection of how his cock was pounding into you, how your blood had coated him. A dark chuckle made his body shudder. His thumb found your clit. You wondered if he was going to let you cum this time--or if they were going to wait until you were completely desperate, until you were crying, begging. A keening whine left you before you could stop it.
“That’s it,” one of the Knights said. “That’s a good whore.” The thumb on your clit rocked faster, bringing you over the edge so that you spilled onto Kylo’s cock. The wound bled as your muscles tightened, loosened, tightened again. Vicrul rolled your head. The hand on your neck skimmed your collarbone and seized your shoulder. They would not let you pass out. Not that this would have ended their game, however they preferred hearing the noises you made.
“Fuck, that’s good, pet.” A hand pet your stomach then patted it. “You need more, though, don’t you?” Vicrul forced you to bob your head in affirmation even as you were trying to hum around him that yes, yes you did. “Greedy slut.” Fuck, but you loved every second of it.
#knights of ren x you#knights of ren x abi#kylo x you#kylo x abi#kylo ren smut#knights of ren smut#kylo ren x reader#knights of ren x reader
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The Hating Game [Poe Dameron x Reader]
Everyone knows it; you and Poe Dameron hate each other.
Or do you?
Warnings: explicit sexual content and mature themes.
Word Count - 8k+
This fic is inspired by The Bet by @no-droids
Read it on AO3 here!
Find my masterlist here!
You know that game “chicken”? Yeah, the one where you run across a road or stand in the middle of a target or purposefully try to pull off the hardest X-Wing manoeuvre in a ship that hasn’t had a new coolant compartment fitted since 30 ABY?
That’s what being in the Resistance was like.
But it was made even worse by Poe fucking Dameron.
From day one, there was something about the pilot that had got underneath your skin. Whether it was his incessant need to be the best, his overwhelming narcissism or the fact he still managed to get laid despite all those traits, you didn’t know.
All that you knew was that you hated the guy; with his stupid face; his shiny curls; and his pretty boy perfect teeth.
It was bad enough being locked within a never-ending competition with a fellow pilot, but being locked in it with Dameron meant that everyone on base knew. The rats that scurried around the base at night even knew the fucking wager that yourself and Dameron had somehow found yourselves in. And it was too late to back down now.
It had started out as a method of breaking the hatred between you two, some healthy competition to find a middle ground or something you had in common, when instead it only added fuel to each of your fires—
Essentially, it was a battle of who could piss off who the most. It was childish, it was stupid, but it was impossible for either of you to stop now that it’d begun.
Well, it was a lot easier than betting on who would kill Kylo Ren first.
You’d lost count how many days this had been going on, with each day bringing about a new bet amongst cadets. Needless to say, Dameron was favoured well. You didn’t exactly have haters, but it was clear that Dameron’s overbearing charm and his affinity to sleeping around had worked in his favour.
“Good morning, hot-shot,” he said, sliding up next to you and matching your pace as you strolled to the mess hall. “I trust you slept well?”
No. You hadn’t. He was asking because he knew you hadn’t.
“Despite the rewired clearance droid, stationed outside my dorm, that’d been instructed by a Commander to beep all night; I slept like a baby,” you let out, sending him an overly sweet smile. You upped your pace as he fell back behind you, grin covering the bottom half of his face.
He jogged to catch up. “Just can’t find the parts these days,”
“Can’t find solid roommates either, it seems,”
“No,” Poe let out, widening his eyes. “Blue-Seven bailed?”
“Applied for a room transfer this morning,” you muttered, your jaw clenched. It was all his fucking fault, you both knew it, but you also knew Poe well enough to see that he didn’t give a fuck. This was between you and him, no one else. If people removed themselves from the situation, he didn’t care.
“One is the loneliest number,” he said, awash with some form of fake sadness that was supposed to make you believe he was sorry. It only grated on you more. “You know, we could bunk together?”
You let out an abrupt scoff. “Fuck off, Dameron. I think I’ve made it abundantly clear that I would smother you in your sleep if I got the chance,”
“Oh baby, give me a warning next time you’re gonna make such an offer,” his shit-eating grin was enough to make you scowl. As the two of you entered the mess hall, you forced yourself to look in front of you, too afraid to look elsewhere.
To the right was a corkboard, erected at the start of this little ordeal between you and Dameron. That’s where the bets were, the running bets. Many had been crossed out, having been finished and cashed out.
Beat the other in training. Ignore the other for a day. Swap roles until one of you can’t continue, etcetera and so forth...
The day someone wrote up the challenge of steal the other’s clothes you knew you had to get to it first. No way in hell would Dameron catch you out like that, not in a place as feral as this base. Poe was more than comfortable showing some skin and you were more than happy to oblige if it meant no one saw too much of you.
At the time, stealing his clothes, while he was in the fresher, and forcing him to return to his dorm in nothing but a towel draped around his waist had seemed entertaining—
Until the bastard had instead gone straight to the mess hall, chest glistening, curls drenched, zero fucks given. He sauntered up to your table, one hand keeping the towel up as he leant down with the other. You peered up at him as he stood over you, a few drips of fresher water trickling down his clavicle.
“It seems my clothes have gone missing,” he said, only having eyes for you while the entire room buzzed with playful energy. You refrained from following the lines of his chest down to his abdomen, acting nonchalant as you tapped a mug of caf nervously.
“That’s unfortunate, Commander,” you knew calling him by his rank fucked him off. He hated the formality of it all, especially from you.
The whoops and hollers hadn’t phased the pilot; he’d only come in there to do one thing. Intimidate you, threaten you, remind you that everyone knew he was hot shit, whatever.
He loomed closer towards you, until you were overwhelmed by the sandalwood scent of his soap. It was unavoidable; you had to look at the exposed pilot. He smiled at you.
“Who’d you get to go inside the fresher, huh? Red-Two? Someone who’s not afraid of a little skin?” he questioned. You let out a scoff, amused by his accusation.
“It’s funny that you think I’d get giddy over a naked man,”
“Can’t get giddy over something you’ve never seen before, sweetheart,”
“And how do you know what I’ve seen? You stalking me?” you quipped back and forth pointlessly, yet neither one had the self-control to give up the fight.
“Don’t flatter yourself, baby,” he let out, lowering his voice until it was nothing but vibrations rolling through you. “Though I’d love to know who you’re shacking up with,”
“I tend to lean towards men that don’t hate my guts,” you landed on. Poe let out a long breath, smiling as he plucked his next retort.
“That’s what hate sex is for,” he said it so plainly that it caught you off guard. He leaned ever so slightly closer, so close that he could hear how hard you swallowed. “You should try it sometime,”
You hated to admit it, but the fine line between hatred and horn had started eroding away since that moment. Dameron was so intentional about it. He wanted to get you heated, he wanted to get you mad, as if some part of him got off on seeing how much he worked you up.
Some sadistic part of yourself could understand that, as with every annoyed scowl or blush of embarrassment you caused Dameron actually satisfied you. It made you unnecessarily happy, it fuelled you to keep going, despite the small nagging feeling that this fight was getting old.
This was the third time a bunkmate of yours had requested a transfer.
The third time someone had resented sleeping on the bed below yours just because of the ongoing fight that you and Dameron were in.
Maybe, just maybe, it had run its course—
Until you finally looked at the corkboard, where a new bet idea had been put up by one of the cadets.
“Well, would you look at that,” Dameron announced, just to grab your attention from further inside the hall.
Share a bunk for a week.
No fucking way.
“How does that benefit either of us? That’s just mutually assured tortured,” you said, trying not to show off just how annoyed you were. If you did that, you knew Poe would pounce on the idea immediately just to make you suffer.
“You really think it’s torturous to sleep next to me?” Poe questioned, and you knew you’d already fucked up. He was looking at you with his signature grin, the one that conveyed exactly what he was feeling; playful. Poe fucking Dameron always felt fucking playful.
It was insufferable.
“You say that like it wouldn’t be torturous sleeping next to me in return,” you quip quickly, trying to keep your unbothered expression.
“Oh? You a snorer? A restless sleeper?” he asked like he really couldn’t wait to find out. It was excruciating, and with every word he said that you upright ignored, you knew he was going to win this. It was only a matter of seconds until he “So!” Shit. “Whoever put up this idea, I love you. Get ready, hot-shot,” he turned to you, strolling closer until you were face to face, noses almost touching.
Maker, why did he smell so fucking good all the time?
“You’ve just found a replacement bunkmate,”
Denying Poe Dameron at the best of times was hard, even for you. So, denying Poe Dameron in this moment was instantly impossible. He had the attention of the entire room, hanging onto his every word. You had no choice but to accept the challenge, despite how much you wanted throw in the towel for this one.
A week with Dameron on the mattress below you. A week with quite possibly the worst bunkmate you’d ever had. Maker, when would it end? When would someone actually stick?
Later that night, while Dameron retrieved his belongings from his dorm, you thought back to when you’d first met him. Transferred from another Resistance base, you were the newbie for a while. Maybe things would have been different if Dameron hadn’t given you the tour, chatting away like he ran the entire place and making it obvious that he would flirt with any beautiful woman that came his way.
What made him even more indigestible was when you saw him fly.
Effortless, a true pilot. He knew the controls like the back of his hand, could perform the training circuit in his sleep; every protocol, every movement, every curve and harsh edge of the controls were engrained in his brain.
Poe wasn’t a particularly humble person, choosing a different approach that revolved around always needing to be the fucking centre of attention. That’s what made the two of you different.
You valued the quiet over a roaring celebration after missions. You studied your ship as if it were another being, not like it was something to be controlled. As soon as Dameron saw you fly the circuit, narrowly missing his personal best, his face had dropped.
He was threatened. And that’s when the hatred began for both of you.
To you, he was a self-centred, sex obsessed fiend that would do anything to remind you that you were beneath him.
To him, you were a prudish, self-righteous, goody-two-shoes who didn’t know how to put up a fight to save her life.
You’d been playing this stupid game with him since you’d landed on D’Qar; it’d been well over a year. Maybe you didn’t know how to stop, despite wanting to pack this all in sometimes when your nerves were shot. Maybe some part of you liked this back and forth with the pilot. Maybe.
The static whoosh of the door ascended, and Poe stepped in then, duffle bag over his shoulder and a succulent under his arm. He sauntered in, as if he already owned the place, while you sat at the small regulation desk, going through your data pad for the next week.
You sighed when he dropped his bag to the floor. “Good evening, Commander,” you let out, and Poe’s irritation was immediate.
“I think you secretly like calling me by my rank,” he let out, trying to conceal his mass annoyance.
“No,” you replied instantly, scrolling down on the data pad. “I just know how much you love it,” you swivelled the chair towards him, hitting his eye and giving him a sweet smile. He gave you a lazy knowing look, before squatting to the floor to unpack his belongings.
As much as you knew Poe was in this to piss you off, there was something oddly serene about your dorm an hour later. Poe laid on the bottom bunk, data pad in hand as he followed suit in remembering his itinerary for the next week. You’d never seen him so relaxed, so switched off, wearing sweatpants that draped over his hips and a tank top. His gold chain poked over the neckline.
Though, of course, Poe was a lot more slammed for time. As a Commander, he oversaw hand-to-hand training as well as getting behind the controls of an X-wing three or four times a week. He was also a conduit for cadets to get across changes they wanted. More time between missions, new parts for blasters and ships, new this, new that—
Poe listened to all of them, writing each comment down one by one to pass over to General Organa and the rest of the higher-ups. Sometimes, when you caught him looking calm and collected and understanding, you wondered why you hated his guts so much.
Until he opened his damn mouth again.
“Take a picture, baby. It’ll last longer,” he let out, upon noticing you staring at him from across the room. You kissed your teeth, leaning back in your chair.
“You just had to open your fucking mouth. For a second, I was actually admiring how thoughtful you looked,”
“Oh baby,” Poe put down his data pad, shuffling on the mattress until his bare feet pattered on the floor and his elbows leaned against his thighs. “Catching feelings?”
“In your fucking dreams,” you said harshly, scrolling onto the next page of your past mission analytics.
“Maybe that’s why you agreed to letting me sleep below you,” Poe continued, after finding another one of your buttons to press until it stopped working altogether.
“You were the one that couldn’t wait to be my roomie, asshole,” you quipped back.
“You could have refused,”
“And let you win? Fuck off,” you muttered, getting verbally more annoyed. Having more than a ten second conversation with the pilot made you want a blaster shot through your temple.
Poe sat in silent contemplation for almost a minute. He scuttled his eyes over you, tracing the line of your jaw and down your arms until he made his way back up again, his eyes in a constant squint, as if you were a circuit board he had to rewire.
You could feel his gaze all over you. It made your skin crawl. “Take a picture, baby. It’ll last longer,” you snapped, stealing the words straight from his mouth.
“You really hate me, don’t you?”
His question took you aback. You sucked in a deep breath, putting down your data pad slowly as you pondered why he’d even asked. What did he mean, don’t you? Was this him genuinely questioning your hatred, or was the oddly flirtatious way you quipped with each other confusing his tiny pea brain?
You turned your stare on him, catching his eye and staying there, as if you were frozen. You allowed yourself to analyse his gaze for a few seconds, taking in the way his shoulders slumped ever so slightly and his forehead wrinkles questioned if this was all real.
This game, this hating game—it was real, right? It wasn’t just a joke to mask how either of you felt for one another, right?
“You hate me, Dameron,” you finally said, but the words felt odd falling off your tongue. “Why shouldn’t I hate you in return?”
His reply was to sigh, before getting himself comfortable under the covers of his new bunk. He switched off the small light by the top railing and turned towards the wall, signalling he was done for the night.
When you clattered up the ladder to your own mattress, you found yourself holding your breath and moving slow, aa not to wake up the pilot. You put out your own light and stared at the ceiling, all too aware of Dameron’s presence not a meter below you.
Maker, why had you done this again? Was spending every waking minute thinking about how to get Dameron pissed off not enough, that now you had to think of him before you slept?
Before you closed your eyes, you wondered if he was still awake. And if he was, was he thinking about you?
By the third day under the same dorm room roof, the teasing had fully begun, courtesy of members of Black squadron.
Maybe Poe had been blabbing during perimeter searches, but Black squad literally couldn’t get enough of this little battle between yourself and Dameron. Your own squad, Green, didn’t seem to care much, having been fed up of you ranting about the pilot from six months in. You never really discussed him with your team anymore, and to be honest, it was nice.
It was almost like you weren’t trapped in this game with him when you were up in space, far away from D’Qar below.
“Greenie!” Black-Three hollered from their table, two away from where you sat eating lunch. “Seen Dameron’s dick yet?” she let out, prompting a childish laugh to travel around the room.
“If I do, I’ll be sure to tell you how small it is,” you replied, not really putting much effort into your response. It still garnered laughter and chuckles, but they didn’t affect you anymore.
Maker, you didn’t want to say it, you didn’t even want to think it, but since Dameron had started sleeping below you—the game didn’t feel as fun.
It felt forced. It felt fake. Since seeing the pilot be calm, collected, thoughtful, sleepy, absolutely exhausted after a draining mission, you found less enjoyment in adding more annoyance to his life. It felt like he was feeling the same, as well.
“You mean, you want to see it?” Black-Six chimed in, but you were getting to the end of your tether. There was a difference between you and Dameron playing the game and others getting involved. There was a different between one pilot ruining your day and twenty of his close colleagues also joining in.
You stood abruptly, carrying your tray to the nearest trash can and angrily throwing away the contents. “Getting worked up, Two?” Green-Two, your rank. “Did I hit the nail on the head about how you’re secretly obsessed with Dameron?”
“Maker, give it a fucking rest, Six,” you snapped quickly, turning back to the table and picking up your data pad in a huff. Six only let out a low whistle, as his team oversaw how annoyed you were getting. He stood up then, and you silently cursed the Maker. You really didn’t need this today, not when you hadn’t slept properly since Dameron’s arrival.
It was impossible to sleep when you couldn’t avoid listening to his soft breathing.
He sauntered over, standing before you and peering down at you. The fucker was, like, 6”7. You wondered how he even fit his fucking legs in an X-wing. “Know what I think? What we all think?” you swallowed as he got in your face. “Being jealous really suits you. This game you and Dameron play? It’s the only shit that keeps you relevant enough to be around him. It’s sad, if you really think about it,”
You swallowed down your heart then. You swallowed so hard that you were scared the air would bubble in your stomach and push everything up and out of your oesophagus.
Instead, you forced yourself to breathe. You’d been in this position before, you’d bit down your tiredness and your feelings and retorted to some fucker who thought he was hot shit. You could do it again.
“You know what’s really sad, Six?” you began, not backing away from the obvious way he was trying to intimidate you by peering down at you so. “That you think I’d ever let your convoluted words get to me. I stopped listening after the first word,”
If he were Dameron, you would have added a sweet smile just for effect, but it wasn’t him. The scowl on your face turned into a grimace as you stepped backwards, showing nothing but contempt and disgust for the pilot before you. The grown man before you, who’d took it upon himself to get involved in a game that he knew fuck all about.
Poe was never actually mean to you. It was like... a fake meanness. One reserved only to make you pissed off before he backed the fuck up and let you have a crack at him. It was meanness laced with subtle admiration for the other’s ability to keep fucking going, to not take the other’s bait, to quip back with the best comeback.
This? This was just straight up fuckery. This was Six trying to knock you down when you hadn’t even said two fucking words to the pilot.
You backed away further, turning around until you were strolling towards the exit of the mess hall. Black-Six was seething behind you, huffing and puffing as he thought up a reply, but you were sure he was done.
Until he wasn’t.
“No, Green-Two, I’ll tell you what the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard is—,” he yelled and you stopped, turning back to the pilot with a bigger frown but unbothered eyes. “This bet, where Dameron bunks with your boring ass for a week? There’s a second level to it,”
A second level? What in the Maker is he talking about?
You stayed silent, still not convinced that what he was about to say would actually mean anything to you. “Everyone here is betting on how long it’ll take you to give in and let him fuck you. Which is why it’s so fucking sad seeing you commit to this long-time hatred, when everyone knows that you love the fucking attention. You live for it. You live for this,”
Now that. That stings you. It stings so bad that you don’t really know what to feel.
It was one thing to play this game, but it was another thing to have people betting on your body.
Your nostrils flared as you tried not to succumb to the tears that were welling in your eyes. This was the first time you’d ever felt fucking dumb, the first time you’d ever wanted to run out of a room and lock yourself away.
This wasn’t a game anymore. You didn’t want to fucking play if this was what everyone fucking thought of you. You’d never cared before about what they’d thought; it was just you and Dameron, butting heads and finding something to distract yourselves from the shit storm of the war that surrounded you, but this?
No. This was cruel.
“Black-Six,” Dameron boomed from behind you, forcing you to intake a sharp breath. “Sit the fuck down,”
You turned around slowly, meeting his eye despite not wanting to ever see his pretty boy face again. His gaze hit yours, and you could see the cogs in his brain turning. He regarded you, your glassy eyes, your tense stance and the way you were gripping the data pad so tight that your knuckles were turning white. He swallowed painfully.
“Two—,”
“Get the fuck out of my room,”
You left. He didn’t try and make you stay, dropping his head to the floor and balling his fists as you shoved past him and out of the mess hall.
You paced it back to your dorm, taking long striding steps and upping your pace to sprint when the tears finally overflowed from your eyes. Was this all they gave a shit about? A bet to see if Dameron could break down your walls? To see if he could be the one to pop your base cherry? Fucking pathetic.
You knew you were above this behaviour, yet you felt idiotic for stringing the game out for this long. There had been ample opportunity for you to throw in the towel, cut it off, break it all apart, but you’d stayed. You stayed in it despite the annoyance and the fucking attention.
Why?
Why had you continued?
This game? It’s the only shit that keeps you relevant enough to be around him.
The realisation hits you like a tonne of bricks, breaking open your skull until all of the thoughts you’d pushed to the back of your brain tumble forward and all you can think is Poe Poe Poe. With his stupid curls and boyish charm and pretty by face that you indulged in every time he got in close to your own—
You threw the data pad onto your bunk as soon as you arrived in your dorm, not noticing the door whooshing down as you took to breathing in and out heavily to calm yourself down. Never had you been so humiliated in your life, let alone in this game with Dameron. You didn’t want to believe that he’d be involved in a bet as damaging as this—you wanted to believe that he didn’t hate you that much.
You slump onto his mattress, not finding the strength to climb up to ladder rungs to your own bed. As soon as you sit, sandalwood encases you. His smell, he always smelled so fucking good. You didn’t even think it was his soap; it was just Poe. And Poe smelled like fresh eucalyptus and sandalwood combined.
Were you fucked up? Fucked up for not realising that you actually didn’t hate the man that you’d been in a hating game with since day one. Were you fucked up for feeling hurt despite knowing that he’d hated you this entire time?
Secretly liking the man who hated your guts was by far the most embarrassing thing of this entire situation.
You heard his boots on the ground outside before the door even whooshed up. Poe ran inside, breathless, brow dotted with sweat, eyes a frenzy of many emotions, before he punched the control panel and the door whooshed down once more.
The room was plunged back into semi darkness, lit only by the half open port shade and the afternoon light. He didn’t lock the door, even though he always did. He didn’t lock the door because he knew you didn’t want to be around him currently.
“Two,” he started, meeting your eye as soon as you found strength to stand. He stepped forward, but you retreated immediately.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” you said strongly, hugging yourself as you backed away. Poe stuck his hands in the air, indicating he wouldn’t do whatever you didn’t want him to.
“I didn’t know, Two. I didn’t fucking know Six had set up that bet. That’s... so fucked up. It’s fucking disgraceful,” he said breathlessly, trying to fit as many words into one sentence as he could in case you cut him off.
You frowned at him, unknowing of what to reply when you could tell he was being truthful. Poe was an asshole, a cocky bastard, but he was never cruel. He wasn’t cruel to his teammates, he knew exactly what it felt like to be fighting this currently losing battle just as much as you did—
He wouldn’t make something like that up. Maker, he wouldn’t.
You clamped your eyes shut, tightening your grip on your arms as you allowed a few tear to crawl down your cheeks, flicking off from beneath your chin until they descended to the ground below. You didn’t even know why you were still crying; the shock of this, the humiliation, or the fact that you were relieved that Poe Dameron wasn’t one of these horrible people.
“Look at me, Two. Please, look at me,” he said desperately, stepping forward in trepidation as you forced your eyes open. You landed yours upon his own, noticing how glassy his were at the same time.
Was he... about to cry?
“I’m so fucking sorry. That’s unforgiveable—it’s, it’s—fucking horrible,” his voice shook as he spoke, so much so that you could see his fingers trembling as he tried to keep himself composed.
“I believe you, Dameron,” you said suddenly, not wanting him to hurt anymore. The game was never about this. “I know this wasn’t you,”
“You scared me,” he said quickly, and you hardly had time to compute his words before he kept talking. “This game—like—what are we even fucking doing anymore?”
You swallowed, loosening your grip on yourself as you felt more comfortable around him by the second. “What do you mean?” Poe stepped forward once.
“The other day I asked you if you really hated me,” he said, and you remembered it well. You remembered the look on his face that really wanted to know the truth. “You didn’t answer,”
“Yes, I did,” you replied quickly, taking a step forward yourself and finding strength once more. “I said... I said—,”
“I know what you said,” Poe continued. “You avoided the question,”
“No, I didn’t—,”
“Do you hate me, Two?” he asked again, more desperate this time. His eyes were wide as they traced your face, looking deep down for the truth that he knew was true. When you didn’t answer, he licked his lips in thought. “Because I’ve never hated you. Not once, not from the beginning or now or ever—,”
“I’m—just, wait—,” you spoke through confused swallows that scratched your throat uncomfortably. Poe took another step forward, until you were as close as you knew was normal. Nose to nose, so close that you could inhale his sandalwood scent and run your fingers through his curls if you had the nerve.
“Do you know why I keep playing this game with you?” his voice dropped to a whisper, and you had no choice but to latch onto his every word. The urge to reach out and grab hold of his fingers was overwhelming. “Because it gives me an excuse to see you every day,”
That’s when you scoffed, overwhelmed by the truth bombs he was spilling that you were sure he was joking now. “Poe—come on—,” you let out, amusement laced within your words as a disguise for how fast your heart was beating.
Poe immediately turned away, beginning to pace the room as he brought his fingers up to run through his hair. He looked pained. “Maker—you. You always think you’re fucking right,” he growled suddenly, his tone hitting some deep point in your stomach that you didn’t even know existed.
He stopped abruptly, pulling his fingers from his hair and leaving it looking wild. “You drive me fucking insane, Two. Have since you stepped off that fucking lander with your confident strides and don’t-give-a-fuck-about-anyone attitude and piloting skills that could definitely leave me in your fucking dust,” you ceased to breathe as he let everything out, each word cascading from his mouth like he’d been waiting so long to spit everything out onto a plate and hand it to you. “But you hated me, resented me, I could tell from the first moment we spoke. The way you frowned and your eyes hit me with that unbothered and uncaring stare—,”
“I don’t—,” you let out, but were mortified to hear how high pitched your voice was, cracking upon the second word. You swallowed. “I don’t hate you,”
You didn’t hate him. He was a pain in your ass, a thorn in your side, but even you couldn’t stomp down the obvious like you had for the pilot. That’s why you continued this fucked up game. That’s why you kept pushing on his buttons.
“And I don’t hate you,” Poe replied, relaxing ever so slightly as he started to calm down from his outburst. He shrugged, letting out an exhausted sigh as his arms smacked back down against his sides. “So, what the fuck are we doing?”
You were at a loss for words. “You—you were the one that kept pushing,” you let out, ignoring how badly you were whining. “Kept one-upping every bet and kept needing to win. You kept going until we got into this fucking mess and now we sleep in the same room—,”
“I made up this bet idea, Two,” he admitted.
The breath hitched in your throat. “What?” you whispered. It sounded threatening.
“Not because I wanted to see if you’d fuck me,” he added, and you knew he wasn’t lying. “I could tell that every roommate transfer was fucking you up,” he said, softer this time. “I thought if I bunked with you for a bit, then—I don’t know—you wouldn’t be as lonely. All your bunkmates left because of me in the first place,”
It all fell into place as he explained. The weird questions, the definite confirmation of him easing on the hating game reins, the absolute mind-fuck of him admitting that he’d never hated you at all.
That he likes you. That you drive him insane. That he only ever wanted to be around you, whether he had to fake hate you or not.
All his bets suddenly added up. His incessant repetition of calling you baby, his impressive flirtatious retorts that you now realised he’d wanted to say to you for real, instead of within some sadistic game.
You breathed heavily for a minute, keeping your eyes glued to the ground as silence descended over your dorm. Poe was still right in front of you, flicking his eyes around your face to gage exactly how you were feeling.
“Say something, baby,”
Baby.
You sucked in a sharp breath. Poe internally punched himself. “Shit, I’m sorry—I just blurted it out—,”
“I like it,” you said, words wobbling off your tongue clumsily. You swallowed down your nerves and suspended all your inhibitions as you caught his eye. It was surprisingly easy to switch off your anxiety when Poe Dameron was stood before you, pouring his heart onto his sleeve about the past year of interactions you’d both had. “Baby, hot-shot, sweetheart. I like them all,”
“Pretty boy,” he replied, and you couldn’t help but smile at the way he looked at you. “You’re the only person allowed to call me that,”
Your heart soared. It was a feeling you’d never fucking experienced before. Before you could say anything in return, Poe lunged towards you, wrapping you in his arms before you could object. Not that you would’ve.
You allowed him to pull you forward, encasing you in his arms until you caught his hint—he was slowly but surely lifting your feet off the ground, as his hands trailed down to your waist in an attempt to get to you to jump up onto his hips. You jumped up, wrapping your legs around his torso and squeezing him with such force until you felt his pulse radiate throughout your body.
Poe walked forward then, until your back was rested against the wall. He pulled back so you were face to face, chest to chest. You’d never seen him this up close, never felt the muscles beneath his skin.
“Poe,” you breathed out, still not used to his first name despite the few times it had slipped out of your mouth when you were annoyed. Poe smiled radiantly, his chest bobbing up and down faster as he got more worked up about what was happening.
You bit your bottom lip on instinct, and he crumbled. “Fuck,”
He smashed his lips against yours.
Immediately you were engulfed by a warmth you’d never felt. Poe held you so tightly that you had no worry of him letting go, leaving your focus to rest on the sweet taste of his lips and the raging butterflies that were destroying your gut.
He kissed you like he’d been waiting to for over a year; with a fervour and a craving that you hadn’t known possible until you felt it in the pit of your stomach now.
The line between hate and lust had well and truly collapsed in on itself, but you didn’t care. Feeling Poe’s body pressed against yours was the perfect way to end this game that you’d both played for so long.
You pulled away suddenly when you remembered something— “Does this mean we can’t have hate sex?” you breathed out. Poe’s face collapsed into a smile of epic proportions.
“You pulled away just to ask that?” he let out. You tilted your head in response, testing to see how he reacted to something so bratty. “Maker—you still piss me off, but it’s fucking hot,”
When got bored of the wall, he carried you over to his bunk, laying you down on his mattress so he could kneel over you comfortably. He had you exactly where he wanted you, hands roaming your body hungrily and skimming your breasts as you tried not to moan into his mouth.
This want, you realised, had been buried deep within you for a long time. As soon as Poe had mentioned hate sex while half-naked and pissed off, your mind had fantasied wonderful things. The dreams had been intense, and seeing the pilot from thereafter had been almost impossible to perform without slipping something out.
You’d managed though, but with every further annoyance, with every roll of his eyes, with every successful attempt at pissing him off, you felt a satisfaction that immediately had you imagining the pilot’s clothes upon your floor.
Poe pulled away then, breathing heavily as he dropped his hand to fiddle gently with the fabric of your tank top. “Can I?” he asked, and he swallowed quickly with what you knew was nerves. “This isn’t about before, fuck that bet—I just wanted to—,”
“Fuck me?” you finished his sentence in a much less gentle way. His Adam’s apple bobbed in shock, his heart rate accelerated as it pumped blood to other places.
“Saints,” he said lowly, as you raised your hand to press against his chest warmly. You started tracing your fingers over his collarbones. “You drive me fucking crazy,”
“In a good way or a bad way?”
“Both. Definitely both,”
He pulled at your clothes until you lifted your arms above your head and accepted him tugging them off. You undid your pants and slid them off while he pulled off his shirt in one tug, straight over his head. There was something about men pulling off their shirts like that made your stomach drop, but Poe doing it was enough to make you plunge your tongue in his mouth.
Spreading your legs apart, he slotted himself between them until you could feel his cock, throbbing hard beneath his pants. He wanted you, Maker, he’d wanted you since the first insult you’d fired at him. He’d wanted you since the first bet he’d ever suggested.
It tickled when his fingers hooked on the waistband of your panties. You sucked in a sudden breath at the sensation, not having felt anyone but yourself between your legs in well over a year. You tried not to worry that you were out of practice, choosing to focus on the rapid way Poe was breathing and the almost drunk way his eyes were pouring over your bare skin.
Slow, intentionally, he inched himself down your body, planting kisses on the journey until his chin hovered above your pussy. He didn’t bother taking off the panties, too excited by what was in front of him that he simply pulled them to the side and latched his mouth over your aching clit.
He moaned into you as you experienced a full body flush. The urge to push him off immediately was insurmountable, but he’d weighed himself down that you could hardly move your thighs, let alone have the strength to pull him off your pussy.
When he came up for air you could hardly move. Every muscle in your body was tensed to oblivion, praying to feel the sweet release that Poe was inching ever closer to. The way he navigated your bud was like nothing you’d experienced before, his tongue soft and welcoming, drowning you in ecstasy while he couldn’t get enough.
“Fuck,” he let out, laying gentle kisses upon the inside of your thighs as he caught his breath. “You taste... so fucking good,”
You dragged your fingers through his hair, still riding the long wave of pleasure Poe had rattled through you. It wouldn’t be long until you came undone when he got back to it. You let out a single breathy laugh. “How the fuck do you do that?”
Poe raised up once more, peering down at you, chain dangling around his neck. He donned an amused smile. “You like that?”
Yes, Maker, fucking yes.
You could only nod.
“I’ve never seen you speechless, baby,” he dipped down and placed a soft kiss against your lips. You closed your eyes, clutching his curls between your fingers as he roamed your mouth.
“You’ll find I don’t have much to say when I’m not fighting you,” you whispered breathily, shooting a challenging look at the pretty boy pilot before you.
“Pretty baby, you better conserve your energy,” he let out, dropping his mouth to your neck and pecking small bites beneath your jaw.
He tugged off his pants like he’d done it a thousand times before, bringing a hand to his cock before he plunged another longing kiss upon your lips. You didn’t move your eyes off of his when he positioned himself before you entrance, but helped by opening your legs for him willingly.
“You sure?” he asked once more. Your response was a simple nod, but it got across everything you wanted. Him, his cock, to feel him after so long not knowing. You wanted him to feel you, to know what your bodies were capable of doing together.
You were wet enough for it to slide in with no problem, and the sensation ripped a hole through your stomach. His cock found your g-spot in record time, as if he’d been made just for you and you just for him.
He stuttered and started like an X-wing engine, moaning as the veins on his forehead popped out in pleasure. “Ffffucking— baby, my fucking god,”
You mimicked his moans, not knowing how else to get across the immense pleasure you were feeling. It reverberated throughout your entire body, sending shivers of adrenaline through your limbs and making your muscles tense immensely.
He started slow, using his core to pump in and out slowly as the two of you got used to this new sensation, this feeling of being intertwined. It was impossible not to smack him when he went all the way in, so deep that you could feel his cock in your fucking stomach.
You hissed at him, pressing a hand over his heart as you winced through the indescribable feeling. He was hesitant the first time you reacted this way, stopped abruptly and asking if you were okay, only to be met with your lips grappling upon his. You inhaled him just because you could.
Now, he didn’t stop. When you let out that hiss and smacked him half-heartedly, he smiled. He smiled like he was about to make your life hell in the most delicious of ways—
He smashed down once, hard and fast, jolting you awake from mind fog of arousal that you’d been in for the past twenty minutes. Your body curled up immediately, but Poe used that to his advantage, gripping his fingers under your left knee and pushing down until it was bent into your chest.
“Nothing to say?” he asked, and you knew that tone well. That was his hating game tone, the one he’d spoken to you in for the past year, the one that triggered a fight in you like no other before; but now?
You needed him to fuck you. You needed him to fuck you so badly.
“Go and fuckyourself,” you spat, faking as much venom as you could despite feeling nothing but lust for the pilot inside you.
Poe took your bait. “I’m busy,”
Maker, he was rough. When he started, he didn’t stop. He pounded you with a ferocity that you knew he’d been wanting for a while. He’d wanted to see you like this, beneath him, broken, mouth open from the incessant moaning that you simply couldn’t contain.
He hit your g-spot each time, until an unfamiliar sensation hit you right in the gut. You thought you were going to pass out. You tensed your entire body, your toes curling as Poe’s grip stayed unmoving on your knee, keeping you in place.
As if on cue, he let out a devious laugh. “Oh baby, you’re gonna cum. I can feel it,”
You flopped an arm over your face, wanting to cover up as much of yourself as you could while this new feeling ripped through you, but Poe didn’t let you. He grabbed your arm swiftly and pinned it down above your head, exposing your wobbling breasts, the radiant heat from your cheeks, the drunk look in your eyes that was only building every time he thrust deep inside you.
“You want to, don’t you?” he said again, ramming his cock into you once more and relishing in the delirious way you tensed and squirmed.
“Shut—up,” you stuttered out, and Poe dropped down to your lips.
“You want me to stop?” he asked threateningly. “You want me to stop fucking you, baby?”
You had to dig deep to find the strength to say the words. “No— fuck no—,”
You sucked in another breath as Poe picked up the pace, repositioning his entire body to gain more momentum. This was the final stretch before the race was over, you knew it, as the arousal in your stomach began to spread until you were sure it would overflow.
Gripping onto Poe’s thighs, you kept him flush to your pussy. It only served to make him more restless, prompting him to pound you until you were sure his back was going to crack from the force.
“Come for me,” he let out, and his voice alone was enough to tip you over the edge. You stopped breathing before it was all released, before a wave of buzzing energy the size of the oceans of Kamino bombarded through your entire body.
You think your eyes roll back, because all of a sudden you can’t see. But you can feel Poe’s lips on yours, you can hear his moans as he comes undone at the same time as you do, you can feel his chest losing power as his limbs go jelloid and he falls on you, absolutely exhausted.
Catching your breath had never felt so good. Poe’s full bodyweight on yours, with your arms wrapped around his neck and his strong breathing tickling your neck had never felt so needed. This was a different kind of intimacy that you’d never expected to perform with the pilot.
And Maker, you hoped this wasn’t the only time.
It was a good ten minutes before either of you had the strength to sit up, but when you did Poe was on hand to help you with everything. He grabbed the closest item of clothing he could, one of his winter jumpers, and shoved it over your head gently.
His fingers were soft as he helped you dress yourself, helped you clean yourself up, helped you strip the sheets from his bed. All the while, his soft and relaxed breaths tickled your skin and offered you comfort.
When all was done, the two of you slumped down on Poe’s bunk. The pilot spread himself and gestured for you to lay upon his chest. Still tired, you scoffed.
“Is this going to become a thing?” you questioned jokingly.
Poe huffed. “Only if you want it to, baby,”
You leant back into him, so much so that he laid his other hand to lay upon your belly. The two of you relaxed into a comfortable conversation that was so far from what you used to speak like. You spoke about life, you spoke about the actions you’d both just performed, you spoke about the bets.
“No more bets,” Poe proposed. You nodded once, smiling as you leant your head back and looked up at him, upside-down.
“No more bets,” you agreed.
“More sex though?”
You smacked him once.
That meant yes.
#poe dameron x reader#poe dameron x you#poe dameron fanfiction#poe dameron#oscar isaac#oscar isaac fanfiction#fanfiction#writeblr#star wars#star wars sequels#ff#reader insert#second person#smut and angst#wattpad#x reader#lightyaers#archive of our own#one shot
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Evidence to Suggest that Luke was NOT all that he seemed in TLJ
Luke Skywalker may have isolated himself because of his guilt/depression. But I also believe he did it for practical reasons, and that his “totally given up” act, was just that, an act. Evidence for this Head-cannon/interpretive take:
1. He made a map to his location
Not only that, but it was so specific, it was literally called “The Map to Skywalker.” The only way it would have gotten a name as tailored as that is if someone else had found him before Rey, or, if he told people about it himself. In any event, to whatever varying degree, Luke wanted to be found and/or influence the galaxy around him.
One piece of the map was tossed around to all sorts of corners of the galaxy, while the rest of it was entrusted to R2D2.
2. This was a deliberate combo to serve two different purposes
- Keep Snoke distracted: The entirety of TFA was Kylo and Snoke obsessing over Luke’s location. Their preoccupation with it was evident and, instead of letting them focus on relentlessly attacking the New Republic, Luke gave them a reason to go on wild goose chases. Consider that Snoke doesn’t go ‘all in’ on trying to destroy the Resistance until after he realizes he lost the race to get to Skywalker. Which shows just how much stock he had put into that singular Jedi. What’s more, even if they had succeeded, they’d only have a useless fraction with no reference as to where in the galaxy Luke’s secret location actually was.
- Meanwhile, R2D2 would also play the role of a “given up/powered down” hero: But we see that, soon as the coast is clear, and some plot heroes arrive with the map, he assessed the situation, turned on, and sent them right to Skywalker. I think it’s safe to say that R2D2 was merely in ‘sleep mode,’ as opposed to ‘shut down.’ However, despite all this, the element of being powered down/unassuming was still crucial because...
3. Snoke made it abundantly clear that when he found Skywalker, he’d blow up the entire landmass he was found, or even theorized to be, on
Luke would never put a population of innocents at risk of complete annihilation just because someone might to recognize him at a local market. So it’s no wonder he chose a place as isolated as he did (On top of that, considering his critical stance towards the Jedi Order by 28ish ABY, it wouldn’t necessarily be a heartbreak to him if the island did end up getting destroyed, or one to anyone else really, because of how obscure/unknown it was...or so he convinced himself).
4. He was picking his battles
If Luke Skywalker wanted to be found. Then why was he so dismissive of Rey? There’s no solid evidence here (aside from the whole existence of the map scheme), but I think there’s good reason to believe that Luke’s instant stand-offish behavior is one of caution and assessment not dissimilar how how Yoda and Kenobi put up an initial façade when they were discovered in exile (but more on that later). In any event, this approach would give him the means to offer personalized help to those who ended up on his doorstep. It honestly didn’t take Luke long to go from tossing his father’s lightsaber, to offering Rey the three lessons she needed to understand the force better. Although I believe Rey’s visit to Luke was far different than what others had probably been but (again) more on that later.
5. He was able leave anytime he wanted
The very clear image of Luke’s submerged X-Wing in the ocean painted a picture of cut ties, and a “no going back” stance. However, it wasn’t the first time that starfighter had been at the bottom of a water bed, and clearly it wasn’t the last. I’m inclined to believe that this is another part of Luke’s deliberate presentation of a hero who had lost all hope. But all speculation aside, there was nothing to physically stop Luke from leaving that island whenever he wanted. There’s nothing to say that he didn’t break form/character operate to find a way to undermine Snoke further.
6. He was actively protecting others close to him
There was a reason Luke getting Grogu at the end of Season 2 of The Mandalorian caused such a stir in Disney, and caused Kennedy to go for Faverau’s throat. All “who’s idea was who’s” arguments aside. At the end of the day it created two possible outcomes for this element of the Star Wars franchise: Either Grogu died in Kylo’s attack. Or there were survivors. Since killing the money making Baby Yoda isn’t necessarily on Disney’s to do list, it’s a reasonable bet that he survives the slaughter (unless he’s returned to Din’s side before Kylo goes ballistic, in which case he avoids it all together). But even if that does happen, this theory still holds a little water). Luke lying low, and operating in secret may have been the only way he was keeping himself, the galaxies citizens, and his few remaining students from getting hit with an orbital strike.
7. He was never fully disconnected from the force.
Perhaps, somewhat disconnected, but it’s clear that Luke hasn’t cut himself off from the force as much as he, perhaps, wanted to admit. Luke is still able to effortlessly summon a weapon, keep control of the duel between himself and Rey, and gently lower his body to the ground when he loses his footing. Despite his stance on using/taking ownership of the force in TLJ, it seems as though Luke kept just enough around so that he could still fight. This theory is more optimistically minded than some of the others, but I still can’t help but think that Luke kept these reserves of power ready, because he already had to use them more than once during his supposed isolation.
8. Rey’s visit was different than the others who had come before.
“You went straight into the Dark. It offered you something you needed, and you didn’t even try to stop yourself.”
“I've seen this raw strength only once before, in Ben Solo. It didn't scare me enough then. It does now.”
Other plot heroes/adventurers may have come, gone, or even convinced Luke to help them in secret. So assuming all, or even some, of the above is true, then that means Luke wasn’t just pushing to dismiss Rey, but also disillusion her. I think this is because Rey wasn’t there to get help with a specific mission, rescue, etc, but there to have Luke become the public symbol of hope again. And we’ve already listed the reasons why this couldn’t happen. On top of that, this push was done in a way that directly conflicted with all the “none theorized” reasons Luke had isolated himself. Luke knew he couldn’t accommodate this. He sensed the darkness in Rey. He sensed her connection to Kylo. In many ways his lessons also doubled as a means to properly evaluate Rey, and confirm his suspicions. In any event, all of this brought up an element of his isolation that no one else knew. He already had the, half truth, story as to what happened to his temple well rehearsed. But it was Rey’s visit that dragged out his greatest regret, which was his near attempt to take Ben’s life, due to both the mind bending fear Snoke had manipulated into palce, and the hypocritical, and self destructive Jedi philosophies that had been drilled in to his head. This was the final straw that made him want to destroy the Jedi texts. But it was also the push he needed to find inner peace, and think of the means to make one last public appearance, without endangering anyone.
9. In no interpretation is Luke an attempt child killer
This is more of a bonus point in nature. I think so many people were caught off guard by the narrative choice Luke undertook in this part of the film, that it painted the whole ordeal in a far more unfavorable light than it actually was. For starters: Ben was no child. He was 23 years old when he fell to the darkside. Luke was saw the images of planetary destruction, and the deaths of friends and family alike at the hands of an adult. But even at that, Luke’s ligthsaber had already lowered, and his face expressing that of shame and sadness, when Ben glances over, and decides to take up his lightsaber, and make the first strike. Luke doesn’t even ignite his lightsaber in response until after Ben swings it. The influence Snoke had over Ben, and the mental attack he lured Luke into suffering, to make this moment come to pass cannot be understated.
- This also means that Luke’s isolation lasted only 7 years. Not twenty, not even 10. Just 7. Which is less than half the time both Yoda and Obi Wan imposed on themselves.
10. He was following in the footsteps of his masters
I think Luke’s response to trauma is a little unfair in some ways. Obi Wan and Yoda witnessed genocide, and imposed exile on themselves for twenty years. Now, in film, we know that Obi Wan, while playing the part of a delusional hermit, worked to protect Luke as he grew up on Tatooine, and that Yoda, playing the part of a silly swamp kook, did...something...on Dagobah (?), waited for Luke to grow up so he could train him for a few weeks at most (?).
Those are two pretty limited things, and yet they don’t catch near as much flack for “abandoning the galaxy to the Empire” as TLJ Luke does, after he also witnessed slaughter, and went into isolation for only 7 years. But, of course, we know Obi Wan did more during his time in the desert, and that Yoda did more during his time in the swamp. So why can’t Luke have also done more while on his island? Everything about the parallels here point to Luke, despite his own misgivings, applying what he learned from his master. All three Jedi isolated themselves because of their personal tragedies. All three greatly reduced their presence in the galaxy. But all three had no choice, and all three still did what they could despite their circumstances.
11. Luke may have been overcome with grief. But he hadn’t truly changed
Now, I fully admit that this is a very optimistic way of looking at things. But some of these points also have more weight to them than others. I also cannot stress enough that even though I think some of what Luke was doing was an act, I also know it was equally proportional to the very real, emotional reasons, and struggles he faced. I also definitely do NOT think Kennedy/Johnson meant for any of these possible theories to have any validity to them. But with how they are presented, they also can’t be disproven.
If Favreau doesn’t formally put the sequels in it’s own little pocket universe, then I really hope he takes the opportunity to make something like ^the above^ happen. It could easily be established in one to two episodes in a live action show. Lots of things could be done to make the sequels a more bearable set of movies to watch. And as much as I’m worried that hoping for this is simply too optimistic, at least now there is a justifiable interpretive take that has both in film evidence to support, and a lack of otherwise to refute.
At the end of the day (and as usual) the important part here is to see that Luke hadn’t given up. Struggling, disillusioned, forced into a tough spot, willingly keeping himself scarce, etc. All bearable. But knowing he hadn’t given up is super important to the character and fanbase, so hopefully we get something that makes that cannon. In any facet really.
AND IT WOULD GET MARK HAMILL BACK ON SET GODAMNIT! XD
*Reblogged with new gifs and information
#star wars#the last jedi#tlj#mark hamill#luke skywalker#the mandalorion spoilers#the mandalorian season 2
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Wounded: a Kylo Ren x OC part 11
GO CHECK OUT MY WATTPAD TO SEE ALL THE CHAPTERS @ BENNIEGOGO
Kylo
He was mad, mad at the fucking rebellion for deciding today out of all days to be seen on the planet Pasaana.
He was already having troubles fulling committing do the dark although he would tell no one, and hearing his mother’s voice in his head was just further proof that he was growing weak.
Seeing Venus looking terrified at him in his state was enough to pull him out from his burst of anger.
Something about her and her presence was something that he craved.
After their little incident in the meeting room, he looked into her small file.
Venus Canyo Zione, born 10 ABY, place of birth unknown, been employed by the first order in 30 ABY. The last 5 years she’s spent working her way up from assisting nurses to becoming one of the best healers on the Finalizer.
He had 20 years of missing information and he knew asking her was a dead end so that’s why he had Ap’lek dig deeper in her history knowing she was least afraid of him.
He got into his TIE fighter and set the coordinates to Pasaana knowing the rest of the Knights would follow.
How would he react when he reaches the planet and sees the Rebels. His TIE fighter entered lightspeed, it wasn’t long then
•
•
Stupid fucking Rebels trying to go after the wayfinder he wouldn’t have cared if they actually had the bravery to go out to get it but fucking Hux was so up his ass about putting a stop to them.
He didn’t know what he wanted to do. A part of him wanted to be the ruler of all the galaxy and have that power to make everyone tremble beneath him, and another part of him was tired of living this depressing life and wanted to get back to his mom and dad.
Fuck.
His dad.
His emotions overtook him, rage filled him and he almost crashed his TIE fighter trying to land it back on the Finalizer.
It took everything not to chop everything in his path with his lightsaber.
The day was already ending and his mind wandered back to Venus and how scared of him she was. Her day was going to end soon and he would see her soon enough.
He used the force to call for Ap’lek telling him to meet him. While heading to his room he was stopped by Hux.
“What happened on Pasaana Ren?”
You really weren’t in the mood for this.
“The Rebels got away,” he said as he kept walking.
“How did you let them get away, there was only a small group of them with no-” he stopped abruptly because you were using the force to choke him.
“They. Got. Away,” you said through clenched teeth you wished you could’ve killed him right there and you should’ve but you decided to save that for another day.
You sent him flying to the wall and laid on the floor gasping for air, you watched as a crowd of people took him to the infirmary and you left to meet Ap’lek.
When you entered your quarters you noticed all the damaged that you did last night was now fixed and the room looked as it had before.
Ap’lek approached you. “Supreme Leader.”
“How was she?” you asked not really wanting to deal with formalities right now.
“Once you left she fell asleep at 3:47, woke up at 6:03 for work, made coffee at 6:15, and reported to work at 6:30”
You nodded, you went to the kitchen that you never had bothered to use before and saw the cup and the coffee pot washed and put to dry.
“If I may Supreme Leader.” Ap’lek said
You nodded swiftly.
“She asked about your personal affair with other women.”
“What did you say to her?”
“That I had no knowledge of what you do.” That is a lie, whenever you felt like you needed sexual release you often found someone to do the job for you. But nothing was like Venus before he would never go out of his way to think about someone else or even bother to see the same girl twice.
“I felt her energy,” Ap’lek continued “She was curious yet scared at the same time she doesn’t know what to think of this.”
“Of what?” you said, you couldn’t have him thinking that you were feeling something towards anyone and, to be honest, you didn’t even know what you were feeling just that you needed Venus.
“Of you and her,” Ap’lek said you felt the uncertainty of his answer.
“She is just something to keep me distracted.” you didn’t think that was true but you didn’t want him to think anything more of it.
“Of course Supreme Leader.” Ap’lek bowed his head at you. “She gets off work soon shall I escort her to her room?”
“Yes, tell her to bring her clothes as well.”
“For the night again?”
“Tell her to bring it all.”
#kylo ren#kylo x y/n#kylo x oc#commander-kylo#kylo ren fanfiction#kylo ren smut#ben solo smut#bensolo#star wars fanfiction#star wars#star wars imagine#star wars smut#adam driver#general hux#The Force Awakens#the last jedi#the rise of skywalker#darkside#jedi
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A Soul To Mend His Own | Ch. 7a
@hannakin-skywalker for the gif.
This POST HAS A SECOND PART: SEE IT HERE
Warning, if it hasn’t been obvious in the movies there is Nazi symbolism within the First Order. I will expand on this much more throughout the story. If this is something that bothers you, please just exit the story. The author does not condone any Nazi ideals, this is just for fictional uses only.
A Kylo Ren x Modern! Reader in a soulmate au with some canon divergence. —————————————SLOWBURN————————————–He is already the Supreme leader, searching the universe to find you, his Empress. Your name on his wrist has been the only constant in his life, while you have doubts about his existence and his acceptance of you. He isn’t in the database and why did the name Kylo Ren cover Ben Solo?
Originally posted on my Ao3 Crystallclover (If you can’t find it here)
Chapter 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7b
Chapter 7: The Beginning of an Education
Summary: On the back of the pamphlet, there was a quote from Allegiant General Hux, ‘Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.’
______________________________________________________________________
You were handed three pamphlets. The first one was titled “An Introduction to the First Order.” There wasn’t tons of information in it. It talked about the goals of the first order, to ‘remove the disorder from the galaxy,’ taking down the Rebellion and the Republic. That the First Order’s job is ‘simply to maintain order.’ One piece that struck you was the education section: ‘Make sure to read all education information, approved literature, watch videos, and after the registration the twice-daily morale sessions.’
You were beginning to believe that Scott was right about one thing, that they were probably going to brainwash you into believing their beliefs. On the back of the pamphlet, there was a section about recruitment for the stormtroopers.
You moved on to the next pamphlet, ironically a recruitment pamphlet for the stormtrooper ranks. It was fairly convincing. Talking about exploring the galaxy frontier and helping out other planets. They were also in need of scientists, researchers, and industrialists. The First Order seemed to be a military heavy government.
The last pamphlet is the one that interested you the most. “Leadership of the First Order: Get to know your new leaders.” The inner page had more information on Supreme Leader Ren, the man you were being taken to meet. ‘The master of the Knights of Ren, he has conquered much go the galaxy during his reign as Supreme Leader of the First Order. The man who became known as the “Jedi Killer” was born on the planet Chandrila in 5 ABY. Ren assassinated former Supreme Leader Snoke and usurped the position of Supreme Leader, seizing both military and political control of the First Order.’ Under his description was an image of him with his mask. You could now more clearly see that it was broken up jaggedly with red lines and there was chrome surrounding where his eyes should be. He was pictured in all black with a cape. In his hand you could see a sword that glowed bright red he looked intense.
On the next page was a photo of Allegiant General Armitage Hux, the red-haired officer from the news broadcast: ‘A human male who is serving as the allegiant general in the military forces of the First Order. Born on the planet Arkanis around the time of the Battle of Yavin, Hux was the son of Commandant Brendol Hux, creator of the Stormtrooper Army. Hux has followed in his father's footsteps by instilling new technology and had ordered the firing of Starkiller's superweapon to destroy the New Republic capital of Hosnian Prime."
In the middle of the pamphlet was a photo of the silver soldier you also saw on the news broadcast, Captain Phasma: A human female stormtrooper captain of the First Order. Phasma grew up as a member of the Scyre clan on the nuclear-ravaged world of Parnassos. She is a formidable warrior. Over the years, Phasma has risen through the ranks of the First Order and became in charge of the stormtrooper training program. Having consolidated her position within the First Order, Phasma became part of an official triumvirate consisting of Allegiant General Hux and the Supreme Leader Ren.’
The last group inside the pamphlet were people you have yet to see, the Knights of Ren: ‘The Knights of Ren are an enclave of masked warriors who serve Ren—master of the Knights of Ren and Supreme Leader of the First Order. Adhering to the ways of the Ren, a philosophy epitomized by the lightsaber, the Knights roam the galaxy instilling order devotees of the First Order. Armed with distinctive weapons for ranged and close-quarter combat, they were the fearsome enforcers of their master's will.”
On the back of the pamphlet, there was a quote from Allegiant General Hux, ‘Who controls the past controls the future. Who controls the present controls the past.’
You pondered on this pamphlet more than the others. This whole First Order thing seemed much more intense than you had initially imagined. You were mostly worried about meeting the Supreme Leader, you were also hoping you did not have to meet his red light sword.
You looked up at Captain Moden Canady who sat across from you. “I am finished with the pamphlets,” you said.
“Good, I’ll pull up an education video on this data pad. I probably didn’t need to hand you the stormtrooper recruitment one, seeing as I doubt the Supreme Leader would ever approve of you joining, but it is standard procedure.” He then handed you the data pad. “This one is only about 42 minutes long, but we will arrive in Washington D.C. in about 50 minutes so it will be just enough time before we will disembark.”
You just nodded and started the video or the “Official First Order Film for the Purpose of Public Enlightenment. Authorized by Admiral Pho Jebeh Boessl First Order Minister for Public Enlightenment. ‘The Empire: The Jedi Question and the Galactic Lie.’
The video informed you about this thing called The Force, a group of ‘evil’ people called the Jedi and how they kidnapped children and their religious cult ways. You learned of a man named Darth Vader and the former Emperor Palpatine and how the wanted to restore order to the galaxy. You also learned about Order 66 and how there is no proof of such an order, that the New Republic has spread lies and calls any Jedicide deniers Neo-Sith. That a systematic order was never taken out by the imperialists, in fact, that many Jedi died because of disease and starvation due to war bombings. The true imperial plan was to put them into forced labor camps that took care of the masses, but many of them died due to separatist bombings. The video ended at 42:05. The video seemed to have many good points but you were unsure of what to think at this point.
You looked back up at Captain Moden Canady who was on his own data pad. “I am finished.”
He looked back up with you and then smiled, “Good, the Supreme Leader will be pleased that you have had at least some education before you meet him. I suppose now is the time to ask if you have any questions?”
“Why am I being brought to the Supreme Leader,” none of the education you have received thus far had answered that question.
“That is an answer that you should only get from the Supreme Leader himself,” said the captain with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
This answer both perplexed and worried you. “Am I going to be executed or imprisoned?”
“It is highly unlikely, but not impossible. Again that is a question for the Supreme Leader.”
“Sir, we will be landing in a few moments please make sure all loose items are secured,” said the pilot.
“Thank you KU-9843,” with that he put both data pads away and readjusted himself in his seat.
You both silently waited to land. You felt the shuttle halt to a stop. The captain directed you to unbuckle and headed to the door. You waited for the door to open. When the door opened you saw someone you saw someone you did not expect to see.
#kylo ren#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren imagine#kylo x reader#kylo x you#captain moden canady#first order#sw first order imagine#star wars first order#first order propaganda#a soul to mend his own
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Like Phantoms, Forever
Chapter Sixteen | Fear and Faith
Pairing: Ben Solo x Reader
Summary: Your destiny had never been clear to you, only becoming so when it led you to leaving behind the life you knew to train with the galaxy's sole Jedi Master, Luke Skywalker. His Jedi Academy became your new home, bringing with it the promise of someday becoming a Jedi Knight.
While navigating the ways of the Force, an inexplicable connection forms between you and a fellow student—the heir to the legendary Skywalker bloodline, Ben Solo. Together, the two of you must face your destinies and forge the path to your true selves.
What to expect: fluff, violence, sexual content, general angst, mentions/descriptions of injury and death
Additional info: this story is set in 28 ABY, six years prior to the events of TFA
*concurrently being published on AO3 and Wattpad as well!
Masterlist
Spotify Playlist
Word count: 5.2k
Chapter-specific CW: description of injury, violence
A/N: y'all. I am so, so, SO sorry for taking a month to update. I went on vacation and came down with the 'vid, which researchers have actually found that a new symptom of is loss of productivity on your WIP. however, I was able to upload the first chapter of my vampire!kylo fic, so check that out! anyways, time to jump right back into the chaos!!!
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Where is he?
It was the only question on your mind. Not how you were going to escape, or how many people were coming after you at this very moment. All that mattered now was finding Ben.
“You—find the girl!” a shrill voice yelled in the distance. “I’ll send as many guards as I can spare once I help the General.” Admiral Sloane’s words echoed off of the cold walls, reaching you in the vast room.
The commotion pulled you from your reverie. Hearing her frantic tone was an unwelcome reminder that you had just killed an Imperial officer. Useful to them or not, your life now depended on being able to find a way out of this fortress.
“I’m on it,” a familiar, modulated voice answered. Ren was in pursuit.
The sound of heavy boots hitting the floor grew closer. With no clear direction to go, you stood there, completely vulnerable in the open room. In front of you, there was a long, dark corridor, and to your left, a bright one lined with glowing sconces. Boldly—or foolishly—you set off into the darkness.
With every step forward, you could feel the adrenaline slowly fading from your blood, allowing pain to spread down your arm and through your ribs. But the motivation of finding Ben and escaping this prison was enough to dull it.
Your pulse grew louder in your ears as the pitch black hallway stole your vision, heightening your remaining senses. Water dripped onto the stone floor, occasionally landing on you and causing you to flinch. After turning a corner, light slowly started to bleed onto the path, coming from what appeared to be an empty room. At least, you hoped it was empty.
“Ben, can you hear me?” you thought, reaching out to him. The Force pulsed through you, more pure this time, wrapping around you in a warm embrace. But it was weak, fluttering like the heartbeat of a hummingbird. The diazexacin was still in your system.
Finally, you reached the source of the light, discovering that it was just what you had expected—an empty storage room. It would make a decent hiding spot, packed with large crates and bins that could fit you—if you held your breath, that is. You glanced around the room, not wanting to linger for long. Ben was somewhere in this facility, and you needed to find him before Admiral Sloane and her troopers did.
As you made your way further down the corridor, the sound of footsteps materialized behind you. Initially, they were light, but quickly became heavy, hitting the ground like the beat of a drum as they approached. Ren must have found you.
Despite the ache in your legs, you started running, glancing over your shoulder to try to see him in the fading light of the storage room, but saw nothing.
“Please, where are you?” you pleaded as you blindly fired a blast behind you. From the sound of it, the bolt hit the wall and not your pursuer.
No response came from Ben. Had you imagined his presence? In the midst of chaos, maybe your mind had conjured a familiar feeling. No, that was impossible—it felt too real to be imagined.
The footsteps grew closer, accompanied now by quick breath. Just before you could turn around to aim your blaster, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you. You stiffened, letting out a dry scream and dropping both of your blasters as your attacker pulled you backwards.
“Let me go!” you cried.
A big hand covered your mouth while the other tightened around your ribs, pulling you flush against a warm chest.
“Shh.”
You didn’t need to see the assailant to know exactly who it was.
“Ben?” you asked into his hand, wriggling in his hold as you tried to face him. He allowed it, sliding his hands to your waist instead.
It was nearly impossible to see his face through the darkness, but when you cupped his cheek in your hand, you knew with certainty that it was him.
“You’re lucky that shot didn’t hit me, princess,” he whispered, his lips brushing over yours.
“How did you–”
The question died on your tongue as he leaned down and captured your lips, kissing you like a man starved for air. You melted into his touch, completely lost in the feeling of being with him. It didn’t matter that you were a fugitive of the First Order, or that with every second that passed, a mercenary assassin was coming closer to catching you. All that mattered was that Ben was here, and that regardless of what happened, everything would be okay.
You pulled away from him, the ghost of his lips still on yours. “How did you find me?”
“I’ll explain later. First, we need to get out of here,” he said, digging through the pockets of his robes. He retrieved a glowrod and turned it on, flooding the hallway with golden light. “Are you hurt?”
In his eyes, you could see it. Concern. It was palpable, and made your heart ache for him in a different way. Given how you felt when you thought he was in danger, you could only imagine how he must have felt when he realized you were gone.
“Uh, yeah. I think my arm is broken,” you said, motioning to your injured arm. It hung limply at your side, and suddenly, you felt insecure. You didn’t want him to see you like this. “It’s okay—I’m okay.”
As he looked at your arm, his emotion radiated off of him, rolling through the space between you like an angry tide. You felt it as if it were your own, like you were touching the point of a hot, glowing iron.
He didn’t respond, seemingly lost in thought as he crouched down and picked up one of your dropped blasters. Holding it by the barrel, he offered it to you.
“Just run as fast as you can. I’ll be right here if anything happens,” he finally said.
You nodded and tried to calm the nerves that swirled in your stomach. Now, if something went wrong, it wasn’t just your life at stake—it was his, too.
“Brendol! Brendol, can you hear me?!” Admiral Sloane shrieked in the distance, receiving no response. You hoped that his critical condition would keep her occupied long enough for the two of you to escape.
“Where should I go?” you asked quietly.
“I’m not really sure. This isn’t the way I came in,” he answered.
“Isn’t that probably our best option? To leave the way you came in?”
Admiral Sloane’s voice filled the hollow space once more, laden with rage. “Find that bitch and bring me her head!”
“I don’t think that’s really an option, anymore,” Ben said, nudging you forward.
You sucked in a long breath before setting off into the unknown. The dull ache in your arm became a sharp, shooting pain with each hurried step you took, but knowing what alternative was awaiting you if you stayed, you pushed through.
Ben was close behind you, keeping his hand planted firmly on the small of your back. Despite the circumstances, his touch was still comforting, the warmth from his skin like a salve for your wounds.
You passed by a few more supply rooms, each one littered with both empty and sealed metal bins. You assumed that they were full of either food rations or weapons—or both. The thought of raiding them for possible medical supplies crossed your mind, but there was no time. A few stolen bacta patches would be useless if you were captured, or dead?
The corridor diverged into three paths, all of them equally as dark. Ben pointed the glowrod to the one on the left. “Turn here, this looks like it could be an exit.”
You turned to look, seeing cool light bleeding through the bottom of a blast door. A weight was lifted off your shoulders.
“C’mon,” you whispered before running ahead.
As you entered the narrow room, a glowing, red blade burst to life, the thrum of its energy echoing off the rough walls. You froze in your path, and so did Ben. It didn’t take long for you to recognize the owner of the saber, but it wasn’t you who acknowledged him.
“Ren,” Ben said, furrowing his brows. Oddly enough, he didn’t sound surprised, almost as if he expected to find Ren here.
“Hey, kid,” Ren replied, shadows dancing across his face as he nodded at you. You couldn’t tell which of the two of you he was addressing.
“You know him?” you asked Ben quietly, keeping your gaze fixed on Ren’s blade.
Before he responded, he unclipped and ignited his own lightsaber, the vibrant blue blending with the red to create a violet haze.
“Unfortunately,” he said flatly. “It’s a long story.”
The blaster in your hand felt heavy as you stared at Ren. The tension hanging between the three of you was tangible, the only sounds filling the room being that of your breaths and the hum of the two sabers.
“It’s good to see you again,” Ren said, his eyes locked on Ben. “You’ve grown since we last met.”
“Unlike you,” Ben hissed. “I thought you didn’t fight for either side.”
The shadow of Ren’s smile stretched across his face, sending a chill down your spine. “My knights and I will do many things. For the right price, that is.”
Ben scoffed. “You call yourselves knights.”
“Yes, we do.”
“Knights are supposed to be honorable. You are the opposite.”
Ren’s features were cold as he stepped closer. “Believe me, I’ve met less honorable Jedi Knights in my time.”
“There were no Jedi Knights during your time,” Ben argued.
“Not that you were aware of.”
Your eyes darted to the blast door behind him, spotting a covered control panel mounted on the wall beside it. There was no time to bother with guessing the correct security code, the blaster in your hand would have to do. But first, you needed Ren to get out of your way.
“I’m going to try to get to the door, but I need you to distract him.”
There was a pause before Ben answered, focused on the man standing between you and the exit. The silence was broken by the whir of his lightsaber as he spun it in his hand, now holding it at the ready.
“Don’t worry, I’ll keep him occupied.”
“Get out of our way,” Ben demanded.
Ren mirrored him, adjusting his grip on the saber in preparation for a fight. “Sorry kid, I can’t let you leave.”
“We’ll see,” Ben said, a smirk pulling at his lips.
With that, Ben lunged forward, swinging his blade down on Ren, who blocked the attack with his own. Though their strengths were matched, it was their techniques that set them apart. Ben was practiced, each swing of his saber was calculated and smooth as he fought. For as tall as he was, his movements were light—almost graceful—as he dodged Ren.
His adversary was a stark contrast, in more ways than just the color of his blade. Ren was quick, but his movements were erratic and sloppy. He wielded his saber like an axe, slashing and hacking at his opponent. His lack of formal training was apparent, but even still, he was a fair match for Ben.
As their lightsabers clashed against rock and steel, you rushed for the control panel, flipping the cover up to reveal a board of at least twenty buttons, each varying in size and lettering. Some had numbers etched into them, while others had words written in Aurebesh. You had never been more thankful for your mother’s insistence of teaching you the language when you were young.
At the bottom of the control panel were two large, round buttons: a red one that read “SECURE”, and a white one that read “DISABLE”. Surely it couldn’t be that straightforward.
You swallowed the heartbeat rising in your throat and pressed the white one, waiting for what felt like an eternity for a response.
The door remained sealed, and disappointment sunk through you like a stone in an ocean.
Behind you, Ben continued to evade Ren’s attacks, their sabers clashing every so often. While you had faith in his fighting abilities, you weren’t sure how long it would take for more of the Admiral’s men to locate and outnumber you.
A long moment passed as you examined the different keys, considering possible combinations that could disarm the security, before deciding that one attempt was already too many.
You stepped back and raised your blaster, squeezing your eyes shut as you aimed the barrel at the center of the panel and fired.
Deafening sirens erupted in the room, followed by flashing, red lights overhead. Fuck.
At the disruption, Ren whipped his head around, his eyes like daggers. “You stupid bitch,” he growled as he abandoned the fight with Ben and bolted towards you.
Overwhelmed, you staggered back on your heels, colliding with the cold metal of the blast door. Instead of fighting or fleeing, your adrenaline chose to freeze you where you stood. With a finger still wrapped around the trigger, you lifted your blaster to aim at him, but in the flashing lights, he was an impossible target.
The fiery glow of his blade reflected in his eyes as he raised it above you, ready to deliver a killing blow.
Just as you were about to fire, the flash of a blue blade swirled behind Ren as Ben sliced through his flesh, drawing a line from his spine to his shoulder.
With a cry, he collapsed beneath you, his lightsaber deactivating as it flew from his grasp. Whether it was the impact of the fall or the shock of the pain that rendered him unconscious, you weren’t sure. For all you knew, he could’ve been dead. But you weren’t keen on finding out.
When you finally looked up from Ren, you found Ben standing in front of you, breathing heavily as he adjusted his grip on his lightsaber.
“My plan didn’t work,” you shouted, your voice drowned out by the sirens.
“Yeah, I know.” Despite the noise, you could hear the amusement in his tone. “Luckily for us, I have another idea.”
He spun the lightsaber in his hand once more before burying it into the door frame. The metal hissed and squealed as it melted, molten steel pooling around the blade as he carved a circle into it. Cold moonlight and crisp air poured into the room as he pushed the mangled slab out and stepped through.
“Come on,” he said, offering you his free hand on the other side.
You glanced between his hand and the blaster in yours, debating if you should leave it behind or bring it with you. So far, you hadn’t had much luck with it, and with Ben’s protection, you hoped that you wouldn’t need it anymore.
Finally, you tossed it down and accepted his help. The grip of the blaster hit Ren in the back of the head as it clattered to the floor. You couldn’t help but giggle at the noise he made when it hit him.
“What’s so funny?” Ben asked, cocking an eyebrow at you as he helped you out of the room.
“Nothing,” you said between breaths. “It’s stupid.”
A beam of red flew through the space between you and Ben, followed by another, and another. Over the wailing of the alarms, you hadn’t even heard the troopers enter the room, let alone notice them firing at you.
Ben’s hand tightened around yours, pulling you along as he started running. It caught you off guard, forcing you to keep up with his pace. Your legs burned as you stretched them to match his strides.
“Do you know where you’re going?” you asked between breaths.
“I think so,” he panted.
It wasn’t the most reassuring answer, but with no better option, you followed him. Another blast flew by, grazing the loose material of your robes. When you glanced over your shoulder, you found that three troopers were running after you, all with weapons raised.
Ben turned too, his face twisting with a rage you had never seen before. He shot a hand out towards them, sending all three of them flying backwards. They coughed and groaned as they hit the ground, writhing on their backs like flipped cockroaches. The white helmets covering their faces made it easy to ignore their whining.
The night sky made it difficult to see your surroundings, but with the help of Ben’s glowrod, you could tell that you were running across a paved platform, one with embedded lights that no longer glowed and faded, white lines painted over it. The same layout of a landing pad.
Lush grass lined the outside of the fortress, decorated with slate stones. It must have rained recently, with beads of water shimmering on blades of grass and the reflection of moonlight on the slick ground beneath you. Empty cargo bins and small freighters littered the area, evidence of the First Order’s presence on Zeffo. But it was not their insignia that marked them—it was the Empire’s.
“Was Zeffo under Imperial jurisdiction?” you asked as you passed a knocked over crate marked with the weathered emblem.
“They occupied it for a while. Moved the inhabitants off-world so they could house their troops and steal their resources,” he said. “The Empire took everything from them.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me,” you sighed. “Where exactly did they move everyone?”
His voice was low when he answered. “The only place they ever sent anyone.”
He didn’t need to elaborate, you knew the implication of his statement. The people of Zeffo had been sent to Imperial labor camps.
You trained your eyes on the ground moving beneath you, trying not to think about what may have happened to them, but it was impossible. You had read texts in Master Skywalker’s library dedicated to the ancient Zeffo civilization, to their rich culture and connection to the Force. Other books detailed the accounts of various archaeologists’ discoveries during the Republic’s rule, but the history ended there. Now, it was clear as to why.
A civilization destroyed, with nothing to show for it but a deserted mining facility and the scraps of an empire. At least the First Order was utilizing the land the Empire had fought so hard to obtain, even if it was only to serve as a lair for planning the downfall of the New Republic.
The natural pathway you had been following came to an end, continued on by a metal ramp that bridged the land over a wide ravine. Below you was an abyss, stretching so long that even the moonlight couldn’t reach the bottom.
Ben took the first step onto the ramp, which groaned under his weight. Your throat knocked as you stared at his boot planted on the wet platform.
“Don’t look down,” he said, giving your hand a light squeeze.
You scoffed as you looked up, meeting his gaze. “I’m not afraid of heights.”
“Yeah?” His lips curled into a smirk as he motioned for you to go in front of him. “Lead the way then, princess.”
Tentatively, you stepped onto it, wincing as the metal creaked. Now more than ever, you hoped that the Empire’s craftsmanship was more durable than their government.
After a moment passed and you had yet to fall through the grated tiles, you took another step forward, and another. You hurried across the bridge, pulling Ben with you as he trailed behind. Despite your efforts to be light, the metal thundered beneath you, alerting anyone within a mile radius of your escape effort.
Your pulse spiked as you stepped faster, nearly losing your footing on the slick metal. Once you reached solid ground, you continued your pace, following the trail down to what appeared to be an abandoned village. One house in particular caught your attention, with a rusted exterior and faded, white square plastered on the door.
“May I?” you asked, reaching for the glowrod in Ben’s hand. He gave it to you, his own curiosity seemingly piqued as he followed you to the door.
Despite countless years of weather, the bold print was still legible. You only needed to read a few words to know why it was posted on this door. It was an eviction notice from the Empire.
Your heart sank.
Ben must have noticed your emotion, his hand now rubbing soothing circles on the small of your back.
“Is this our future?” you whispered.
“I hope not,” he said, glancing over his shoulder. “But if we don’t leave now, it might be.”
Your mind raced as he steered you away from the house. It was one thing to hear about the atrocities committed by the Empire, but another thing entirely to see the evidence firsthand. Reluctantly, you pulled your eyes away from the metal hut that was once someone’s home, now a hollow shell, known only to the wind that flowed through its shattered windows.
“Does any of this look familiar to you?” you asked as you scanned the area with the glowrod.
“It’s hard to tell,” he said, letting go of you and running ahead to the left. “Wait here, I’m going to check it out.”
“No, wait! Shouldn’t we stick together?”
Before you could finish, he was already halfway to a set of stone stairs that led to a dirt path out of the shallow valley the village settled in. He unclipped his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it, flooding the area with blue light.
You turned the glowrod to your right, finding another path, a short one that seemed less traveled than its counterpart. At the end was a narrow crevice in the rockface, leading deep into the heart of the darkness within. It called to you.
Despite being told to stay where you were, you found yourself standing in front of the entrance, with no memory of how you came to be there. When you outstretched your hand to touch the surface of the black stone, it felt as if you were not controlling your movements, but rather that there was a different entity making your decisions. You should have been scared, you should have screamed with all of the air in your lungs, but you didn’t.
The instant your fingertips brushed the stone, you felt it—everything at once. This place was ominous and cold, but alive with energy. Faintly, you could hear Ben’s voice, but it was drowned out by a cacophony of whispers coming from within the ancient stone. The sound was almost hypnotic, each cry roaring in your ears until you could no longer differentiate them. It grew louder, a crescendo building to a pitch that seemed endless until–
Ben called out your name.
You snatched your hand back, your breath erratic as you turned to face the sound of his voice. To your surprise, he was standing directly behind you, only inches away. He stared down at you with wide eyes.
“What the fuck are you doing? I told you to wait over there,” he said, a hint of irritation in his tone. With a firm grip on your arm, he guided you away from the crevice in the stone. “Did you hit your head or something?”
“No,” you said softly, your own voice foreign to your ears.
“Then why were you ignoring me?”
“I wasn’t ignoring you.”
“Yes, you–” He stopped himself, pursing his lips. “Never mind. We don’t have time for this.”
With that, he grabbed you by your waist and hoisted you over his shoulder, careful to not touch your injured arm as he did.
Immediately, you protested, kicking your feet and hitting his muscular back with the glowrod in your hand. “No—Ben, put me down! I can handle myself!”
He was unfazed by your attempts to free yourself, his arms still wrapped tightly around your legs as he marched forward. “Evidently, you can’t. Don’t worry, it won’t be for long. The Grimtaash is just up this way.”
“Fine,” you huffed.
Despite being dead weight, he carried you with ease, now taking long strides in place of running. The ground was a blur beneath you, morphing from grass, to stone steps, to dirt, and finally, to pavement.
Slowly, Ben lowered you until your feet touched the ground, waiting for you to have your footing before letting go of your waist.
“That wasn’t so bad now, was it?” he said, lifting your chin with his finger.
You smacked his hand away. “Just shut up and open the door.”
He chuckled as he typed in the passcode to the ship’s ramp. “As you wish.”
The door lowered with a hiss as the airlock released. Before it had even reached the ground, you were already running up the ramp.
The hold of the ship was dark, the only light source being the emergency lights that lined the baseboards. With the help of the glowrod, you were able to navigate the space and find the cockpit without knocking over Ben’s collectibles in the process.
As you breached the doorway of the cockpit, you heard the familiar sound of armor clattering and voices in the distance.
Before you could panic, the sounds were silenced as the door sealed shut behind Ben, who was busy arming the ship’s security system at the other end of the hold.
“Ben, we need–”
“I know, I know, I’ve got it covered,” he said, anticipating your concerns.
“Master Solo! It is so good to see you again. Were you able to find what you were searching for?”
The source of the unfamiliar voice was quickly discovered when Ben turned on the overhead lights as he sat down in the pilot chair, pressing a series of buttons and switches to power up the ship. Emerging from the curved hallway that led to the cargo holds and captain’s quarters was a silver droid, with beaming, yellow eyes and sparse wires springing free from its plating.
“Yes, Geegee. Just help me initiate the flight sequence,” Ben groaned. “And transmit our location to Master Skywalker.”
The engines roared to life, rattling the ship’s frame and shaking your balance.
“Of course, Master Solo. I am pleased to report that while you were away, I was able to complete a full system tune-up. I also took the liberty of–”
“And make sure the hyperdrive is ready upon take off,” Ben said, interrupting the droid. “We’ll need to engage it as soon as possible.”
“Right away, sir.”
“Wait, is that safe?” you asked, gripping tightly onto the back of his chair.
“Yes—well, no. Just–” he sighed. “It’ll be fine. It’s our best chance of getting out of here unnoticed by their tracking.”
You were in no position to argue with him, so you didn't, instead choosing to walk away from the cockpit and let him prepare the ship. Pain began to creep back in as your adrenaline waned, radiating throughout your body and turning the edges of your vision black. You needed to sit, immediately. The leather seat surrounding the Dejarik table seemed more appealing than ever before.
“Where are you going?” Ben snapped, spinning around in his chair.
“I need to sit down,” you said weakly, wincing as you took another step.
“Was there something wrong with the co-pilot chair?”
You turned around and stared at him, your brows furrowed. “I thought…your droid…”
“Geegee will just have to stand for this trip. Come, sit up here with me.” He patted the seat beside him before turning back to the controls in front of him.
You obeyed, blinking away the black dots in your vision as you walked back to the cockpit and sat down, closing your eyes as you melted into the chair.
“Do you need help with your harness?” Ben asked.
“Mmm?” you hummed, prying an eye open.
“Never mind,” he said with a soft laugh. He was sitting on the edge of his seat, leaning over you as he pulled his brown cloak off and draped it over your shoulders and lap, tucking the material behind your shoulders so that it wouldn’t come loose. “Just rest.”
“Ben…” you mumbled. “What about the troopers following us?”
“Don’t worry about them,” he said, gently resting his hands on your shoulders. He drew in a long breath before kissing you on the temple, letting his lips linger there for a moment before resting his forehead against yours. “I’d kill every last one of them before they could even get the chance to hurt you again.”
His breath was warm on your skin, but his words were cold. He didn’t sound like himself, and despite being wrapped in his cloak, a chill ran down your spine.
As he pulled away, his face softened, like ice melting in the morning’s light.
“Master Solo, the hyperdrive is ready for use,” the droid said as it shuffled into the cockpit, staring at you inquisitively. “If you don’t mind me asking, where am I to operate as the ship’s co-pilot if not in the co-pilot seat?”
“You’ll do fine right where you are, Geegee. Right now, she takes priority,” he said, winking as he turned to face you.
After pressing a few more buttons, Ben gripped onto the controls as the ship hovered off the ground, the legs of the craft folding into the frame as you gained altitude. You could hear tiny blasts from the troopers below hitting the exterior of the ship, like hail pelting against a window.
Your eyes felt heavy as you forced yourself to stay awake, worried that Ben would need you to help somehow. But it was becoming impossible. It felt as if you were sinking through the velvet chair, your muscles and bones finally given a moment of rest. Sleep was coming in like the tide, lapping at your consciousness with every second that passed.
“Geegee, engage the hyperdrive,” Ben ordered.
The droid did as it was instructed and a moment later, the stars surrounding you morphed into a swirling, blue tunnel, flying by at the speed of light. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes, slowly running down your cheeks as a mix of relief and sadness washed over you. You were finally safe, but for how long?
As you sniffled, Ben turned to face you, dropping his hands from the control to clasp yours, giving them a soft squeeze.
“The Empire is alive,” you said quietly. “They’re weakened, but they know where the Academy is and…” You hesitated to complete your thought, remembering the nightmare from the day prior, with the Academy in flames and your classmates strewn across the ground. Now, you imagined Ben among them, his warm, brown eyes growing cold and lifeless in the rain.
Finally, you whispered, “I’m afraid.”
The last thing you heard before letting the exhaustion consume you was Ben’s voice. Despite him being right beside you, you could hardly hear him, or anything for that matter. The drone of the engines had gone silent, the squeaking of the protocol droid’s joints eliminated, and as Ben spoke, he sounded muffled, as if he were speaking to you through a wall of cotton. Although it was distorted, you managed to make out what he said.
“Everything’s going to be okay. We’re going to be okay.”
#*holding out for a hero plays in the distance*#ben solo#ben solo x reader#kylo ren#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren x y/n#kylo ren x you#ben solo x fem!reader#ben solo x you#star wars#star wars fanfiction#star wars self insert#kylo ren smut#ben solo smut#my writing
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Ch. 2 Control - Baneful Royal (Kylo Ren x Reader)
[A/N] I’m going to slow burn the shit out of this fic. Love y’all tho <3. Next chapter of the Spike Spiegel x Reader fanfic is in the works right now, so stay tuned!
WARNING: angst, suspense, mentions of violence
“Where have you been?!”
“Where have you been?” You scream-whispered at Sara as she ushered you down the hallways to make your escape. “I was looking for you guys everywhere!”
“We got a little..caught up with some stormtroopers.” She hesitated, quickening her pace. “But we’re here now.”
“Oh, how comforting, seeing after what I just went through.” You picked up the tails of your dress. You could hear the distant panicked clamor coming from the party as they were now alerted of the surprise appearance from the Supreme Leader.
“We heard from Hux. The idiot thought it best to tell the party. As if it would amp up the entertainment.” Sara muttered. “The governor is informed of your early retirement for tonight, and we have clearance for our exit.”
“Good.” Was all you could muster, distracted by the fresh memories of the heart-to-heart talk with the most feared man in the galaxy.
Don’t shadows have names too?
You flirted with Kylo Ren. You called him attractive. You told him your yearnings that were supposed to be kept to yourself. You called him hot.
You called him hot.
Starting to think that a death by his laser sword was more preferable than the frenzy of tomorrow, you stepped outside to see Abie waiting by the limo cruiser, tapping his foot anxiously.
“You found her, thank the stars.”Abie breathed, opening the door as you climbed in. “Did you hear about-“
“We will not talk until we are far away from here.” You stated, shutting down conversation immediately. Eagerly did your guards buckle in, the vehicle smoothly making the transition from the palace grounds to the streets of Theed.
The ride back to your home was quiet. No one in the proximity could be trusted, not even the driver. At this moment, anyone who wasn’t close to you could not be trusted.
Who are you?
The release of the tensions was relieving as you stepped out of the cruiser. The small space was starting to become unbearable, like you were choking in its negative cloud. “Let’s settle in, then we will discuss.”
“Welcome back, malady.” Your house droid Bel greets you, giving a small bow. An SN-D1 droid, reprogrammed for domestic use, closed the door behind Abie and Sara. “Shall I fetch some refreshments?”
“That would be wonderful, thank you Bel.” You said aloud, watching her as she walked into the dining area. “Once she’s finished, I’m shutting her off.”
“Why?” Abie asked, stripping off his helmet and outer armor.
“It’s only until we’re done. I’m not taking chances.”
“Anything else, milady?” Bel said as she passed you a glass of water.
“No.” You replied, setting the glass on the table in front of you. “Initiate sleep mode.”
Another nod and Bel walked into her charge port, her glowy blue eyes fading as powered down. Walking up to her, you hurriedly searched for the complete switch off button, pushing it down. Grabbing the glass of water, you poured it in a nearby plant.
“You cannot be that paranoid.” Sara observed. “We would’ve been notified of any tampering with the droid.”
“I met him.” You mumbled quietly, sitting back down in the living area.
Abie’s eyes widened. “Ren.”
You nodded solemnly, twisting off your bracelets. “I didn't know it was him at first.”
“It's not hard to miss him.” Sara smarted off, crossing her arms. “Who could not recognize his large frame?”
“Me, apparently.” You muttered. “I thought he was another guest trying to get away from the party.”
“Why were you by yourself?” Abie asked.
“Did he threaten you?” Sara followed up.
“No. We just talked.” You replied. “I was trying to find you two. I couldn’t stay in one place.”
“So what do you have to worry about?” Sara spoke up, getting off her seat. “Unless it was a plan to overthrow the government and take over the galaxy, then I think you ought to be fine, (Y/N).”
Staring at the floor, you cleared your throat. “It might as well have been just that.”
“What did you talk about?”
“Change.”
You explained the conversation that transpired, excluding the flirting between you and Ren. Change in Naboo, a dream that was always out of reach. How you blurted out your thoughts that were dying to be released. The honest truth made your lips tingle in excitement, speaking your mind was a thrilling experience. You felt genuine freedom for once…
“I’m not saying it's bad. It’s not good either.” Sara sighed, sliding off the couch to the kitchen. “This could mean some difficulties for our precious council.”
“I know for sure I’m not excluded. I’m well part of the problem as well.”
“Do not say that!” Sara shouted from the other room, the sound of clanking plates could be heard.
“You are a part of the council, but that does not mean you are a part of the problem.” Abie comforted you. “You’re trying to solve it.”
“Don’t take this the wrong way, (Y/n), but if you look at it from an outsider’s perspective, you’re just a throwaway.” Sara popped her head out. “You probably gave him what he wanted, no ill will there from him to you. Hence, “thrown” out of the way.”
Stunned but comforted, you scoffed. “I appreciate the honesty.”
“It would be all for naught if you spent all this time fighting back and then saying that you are just like them.” Sara came back in, holding a plate of food and placed it in the center coffee table. “And I know you better. Stop it.”
“Alright.” You finished, picking up a piece of fruit in between your fingers, inspecting it. “I think he was trying to find a reason to invade us.”
“What do we have to offer? Resources are low, is there any explanation to vie for a planet with nothing?” Abie said.
“No. There’s a reason.” You ate the piece of fruit finally, letting the tart taste spread over your tongue. “They know something we don’t know about our own home.”
“Then we must get to the bottom of it.” Sara sighed, opening up a mini holoscreen on her forearm. “I can pull some strings and get some answers in no time.”
“I’ll help you, we’ll work through the night.” Abie said confidently, even giving you a bit of a booster. “There’s nothing to worry about, my lady. Just keep in mind that we’ll always be in your corner. No matter what.”
“That’s why I chose you both. You always do such a damn good job.” You flashed a soft smile at your closest companions, ready to prepare for whatever your newfound “acquaintance” has instore for you. You got up, giving a big stretch and a well-needed yawn. “I need to rest. Wake me if something happens.”
“Of course.”
“Sweet dreams, throwaway!” Sara called out, a smirk evident in her voice.
“Fuck you.” You replied, earning a giggle from Abie and Sara.
A glimpse into the good old days where it was the three of you, Abie, your then teenage bodyguard, and Sara, your handmaiden from day one. Against the oppressors who took one look at the baby queen and saw their new puppet, not realizing what she and her companions were capable of. Their anger could only fuel you more, giving you more skills to fight and conquer what you could in a short amount of time.
You were ready to do it all over again, this time against a far bigger enemy. To protect justice, you were willing to go the distance.
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!
You heard the loud ring of your holoprojector indicating a message had just been sent. Only messages that came that late could mean trouble. You hurried back into the lounge room.
“Can you see where it's coming from?” You asked. Sara checked the sender ID, her face twisted in confusion.
“It’s not saying where.” She said, looking back at you.
You breathed heavily, hoping the worst was not here already. “Open it.”
Translucent blue beamed the menacing figure of the one you were told not to fear. You gasped. You were baffled but not shocked that he would dare to ring in at your home, your safe haven from the horrors of your job. Head and face covered by his dark helmet, he stood solemnly still.
“Councilwoman (L/N), it was a pleasure to meet you tonight. I do say, I was rather… intrigued by our talk. Gave me the right amount of the insight that I need to understand the inner works of your planet. I thank you most graciously.”
Work was to commence immediately, you thought. There was no time to get the affairs in order. Diving in headfirst was the only option.
“If its all the same to you, milady, I would be delighted to seek your presence once more. Privately.”
“I await your response.”
So much for the throwaway.
-
Secrets.
Secrets are what tore families apart. Keeping things hidden until one decides to reveal the scandalous truth is what burns bridges and in flames emotions. The disbelief is shockingly brief, but the beating heart of betrayal speeds to a bigger wave than the last, forever marking the distant thought of being honest and up front of such dark deeds.
It was best not to reminisce of how Kylo Ren was born. The conception begins with a mother trying so desperately to push the skeletons of her biological parentage back into the closet, meanwhile the galaxy was clawing its way in, for the sake of political gain. In vain did she try to plead with her son that she was only doing it to protect him for his safety, to steer him clear of a path that was still marked years before from a fallen Jedi turned Sith.
The cycle repeats once more.
Sitting in his darkened meditation chamber, Kylo searched for answers. As painful as it was to dwell, it was important to remember where he came from. Who his grandfather was and his rise through the dark side. His idol, the being that inspired Kylo through and through. The work he had done before his death was admirable in the First Order’s eyes. Complete control for one true power.
Control was what Kylo needed, but not the same as the massive organization behind him craved for. The people who raised him had somewhat of control, his mother a princess and general, his uncle a strong Jedi with talents that matched his father. Laughable compared to Kylo’s position now. What gave him fuel for even more of a show was that there was no escape for his former family from him. He was everywhere, on their screens, briefings and minds. It gave him the ultimate high.
The conquer and trust of various planets were mere stepping stones for the Order. Cases where Kylo would intervene would be the case that it would give him an advantage, shared with his Knights in another quest for a deeper bond with the Force.
Taking a deep breath and opening his eyes, Kylo felt the cold metal of the floor hit his backside as he landed from his deep meditation, an unwelcome thread of frustration wrapped around his head. Knees to his chest, he pondered once more from where this came from.
Running fingers through his hair in a failing attempt to calm himself, there was no use. What could it be?
Getting up, Kylo grabbed his undershirt and tunic. Slipping his hands through the shirt, he felt the incoming presence of officers stomping their way towards him. An unnecessary report of a small rebellion being snuffed out quickly before an uprising could begin, the draining useless reminders of Hux’s existence, and so many others included. Somehow this briefing felt different.
A very polite beep of awareness sounded off from the intercom from outside, alerting of their arrival.
“Enter.” Kylo called out, standing solemnly.
Doors blasted open for two officers, holding their holopads importantly in front of them. “Requested by General Hux, he would like to inform and grant permission for the takeover of the planet of Naboo.”
“Naboo?” Kylo asked, a bit taken aback from the request. Keeping his voice as neutral as possible, he spoke. “For what purpose?”
“There was none given, sir.”
Seeking a proper answer, Kylo stomped through the halls of the Finalizer in search of Hux. Each step grew more determined than the next to find the little rat. Leathered gloves squeaked as Kylo flexed his hands in balls of fists, allowing his air of domination to flow through the hallways. This wasn't the only way he was able to demand a presence, and Hux knew all about it.
The doors to one of the many meeting rooms in the ship hissed as they opened, revealing a frightened General Hux. “Good maker, Ren. A knock could have sufficed.”
“What’s this about Naboo?” The deep grumble of the vocoder asked.
A giant holographic blue screen curved around the massive glass panel looking out into the starry void of space. Profiles and documents floated across the screen, intel shown as the Order studied and pried into the workings of the planet. “Another possible settlement. And with some great backing from our Empire allies, of course.”
“Why?” Kylo huffed out a simple question, confused as to why. “Tell me.”
“Do I have to?” Hux scoffed, hands behind his back. “Take it as another step towards victory, sir.”
Nodding, Kylo’s eyes focused on the screen. He was going to find out one way or another. The Supreme Leader was not a very patient man at all. Without looking, he held out his hand, spreading his fingers wide as he began his descent into Hux’s mind.
“No, no don’t-“ Hux began to plead.
“You will tell me why you want Naboo.”
“I will tell you why I want Naboo.” Hux scowled and gasped, his fight to resist the Force failing terribly. How many times this had been done in an effort to skip to a point could not be counted on both hands. “Given the history of the Supreme Leader’s past lineage, I-I thought it best to keep the takeover to myself in an orderly manner!”
Kylo’s hand lowered. Hux had learned a lesson that most beings that crossed the Order had not obtained. Caution. Although, it was not conveyed correctly in this case. “Brave of you to assume, General. But you are wrong.”
Releasing Hux from his hold, Kylo slowly hooked a hand into another behind his back. “I’ve made it quite clear that my past has been a buried subject. Besides, how could I care for the home of a woman that I have never met?”
“I see. I will remember for next time, Supreme Leader.” Hux lowered his head, tapping on a holopad to open a series of reports. “In that case, shall I brief you, sir?”
“Go ahead.”
“Since the fall of the Empire, this planet has been facing economic collapse due to it being the home of the former Emperor. With its reputation ruined, importing and trading is difficult. However, they still have some valued sources that we may be able to get our hands on..”
As Hux droned, Kylo stepped to the giant screen. His eyes surveyed the pictures of key landmarks, such as the lake country and grass plains . To think that Palpatine came from a place that was known for its art and beauty rather than its politics was astounding.
“We have an insider’s word that their present queen isn’t even in charge.” Hux finished. “Serves only as a face.”
“Then who is?” Kylo asked. With a click of a button, the current displayed faded away and another picture slid into its place. A screenshot showing a row of people lined on the front steps of the palace popped up on the screen.
“They are. The Royal Advisory Council. Re-establishment of the council after the Empire was off to a rocky start, and has been on a slow decline ever since.” Hux circled around the table. “Their governor, shown at the queen’s right side, is believed to be the clever mastermind behind it all.”
Kylo grunted in response. If sinking your planet into poverty was clever, then this governor was a genius. “I thought it was a democracy.”
“Hardly so.” Hux sighed. “With a governor as daft as theirs, it wouldn’t take much to infiltrate its atmosphere at all…”
The energy that radiated off the photo from its content was strong. He could feel tension intensively, begging Kylo to take a closer look. Prideful in their appearance, the council stood shoulder to shoulder, unafraid of their closeness. Relaxed smiles and faces full of contentment he had only seen in many of the First Order’s donors. Although supposed to be blank and expressionless, the queen’s queasiness was not shy.
Going down the line of ministers, he found it. Where his unease was coming from.
Distant and dissociative gaze. Annoyance felt from thousands of miles away. The council’s black sheep, he thought. Her half arm length away from the rest of the party could reveal more of her feelings towards her colleagues. The same could be told from them. None showed desire to touch her, even for a photo. Kylo huffed a chuckle. It was a familiar view.
Trying to turn his attention to the others, Kylo couldn’t help but travel back to the girl. Something beckoned him to return to her. Allowing himself to indulge his impulse, he turned back to her.
Big eyes, maybe once full of hope, held sharp resentments. It pricked at Kylo, tempting to come closer. She was not afraid to hold back from her coldness, her beautiful lips downturned into a frown. Hardened and pained, her soul seemed to cry out for a need that Kylo reached out for everyday.
Control.
“Did you hear what I just said?” Hux asked, annoyed. “I would prefer not to repeat myself again.
Not caring for his smarting off, Kylo silenced him with his hand held up, pausing the conversation. “Can’t you feel it from her?”
Hux glanced at the screen and at Kylo. “Feel what, sir?”
“Her anger.” He pointed to the council member at the end. Glaring at the screen, the General lingered in the quiet for a while. It didn’t take invisible powers to see the sudden infatuation from the Supreme Leader. If it got them closer to their goal, then so be it.
“I’ll see what I can find about the girl.”
#fanfiction#star wars#ben solo#kylo ren#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren x you#kylo ren x y/n#kylo ren trash#kylo ren headcanons#kylo ren imagines#kylo ren angst#kylo ren fanfic#kylo ren is a punk bitch#ben solo x reader#ben solo deserved better#padme amidala#padme deserved better#naboo#the last jedi#force awakens#rise of skywalker#knights of ren#Luke skywalker#leia organa#general hux#emperor palpatine
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Somewhere Safe (Forget Me Not, Kylo Ren x Reader) - Chapter Six
Here is chapter six! Things are finally starting to get good! I hope everyone enjoys! Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist!
Summary: (Y/N) wakes in a strange house sounded by greenery where Kylo reveals he can give her, her memory back.
Warning(s): Blood mention, Wounds, Language(?), angst, and some fluff
Word Count: 4366
The peculiar sound of birds chirping caused (Y/N) to stir in her sleep. She blinked heavily, pushing away the lure of sleep as she rolled over in the large bed to examine the room filled with streaks of sunlight.
The new room she was in was quite large, yet only a few items were in it. The bed she was in was on the back wall, a tall white wardrobe straight ahead, and a matching dresser was on the left wall with a vase of white flowers placed on top. A blast door was on the wall next to the dresser which presumably led out to wherever, a large window on the right wall where the warm sunlight trinkled in from, and another door was in the far right corner leading to perhaps a bathroom.
Pulling back the soft blue covers, (Y/N) swung her feet out to touch the floor. She was still in her gray and black First Order attire and as she stood she could still feel the ache in her right side. Where was she?
(Y/N) shuffled towards the door on the left, the door slid upwards to display a quiet white hallway and another door in front of her. Stepping out into the hallway, she gazed at all the different pieces of parchment scattered amongst the white walls. Some of the parchments depicting maps of various places: Hanna City, Naboo’s Lake Side, and Nayli, the countryside of Chandrila. Other parchments illustrated ancient looking symbols that resonated with (Y/N) like she had seen them before, for some unknown reason. A particularly large piece of parchment hung at the end of the hallway, a young woman portrayed upon it. She had a long braid trailing across the crown of her head and down to her shoulder, the rest of her hair flying freely in the wind. She was beautiful, every feature elegantly portrayed, even the large scar on her neck.
(Y/N)’s fingers immediately reached out to trace the ink outline of the scar, her scar. It was her, the portrait, of course it was. On the bottom corner of the paper, was tiny elegant writing. “(Y/N), 23 ABY.” And signed below it were the initials “B.S.”. Skimming all of the surrounding parchments (Y/N) found they were all signed “B.S.” Who was BS and why had they drawn her? (Y/N)’s bare feet were cold against the white wood floors as she continued into the main opening.
The hallway exited out into a large, bright, and open space, a living room to her left with light blue couches and chairs surrounding a white table. In the far corner there was a bookcase stacked with hundreds of multicolored books, a hallway beside it, and a desk against the other wall. To her right was a small wooden table, two chairs positioned across from each other and a medium sized white kitchen just beyond it. Everything was so white, open, airy, and vivacious, with the sweet smell of flowers everywhere, she knew she could not be at another First Order Base.
(Y/N)’s mouth began to water as she saw the fresh fruits and vegetables packed onto the kitchen counter, each piece ripe and enticing. Hurrying into the kitchen, she plucked a shining red apple from the assortment and took a massive bite, internally savoring the juicy tart taste. When was the last time she even ate? How long had she been asleep for? The last she remembered, she was lying in a Command Shuttle. Her inquiries were cut short by the sound of faint shuffling entering the room.
(Y/N) turned slowly, eyes meeting a bare torso littered with scars. Looking up, she found a man with messy black hair covering most of his face, Kylo. For someone of such size and stature, the man was impossibly light on his feet.
“Good Morning.” His baritone voice was even deeper, thickened and raspier from sleep.
“Um, Good Morning?” (Y/N) mumbled shifting her gaze back to her apple.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t think you were awake yet.” He stated, clearing his throat after as he reached for an apple behind her.
“It’s okay…” She trailed off admiring the scar tissue on his left side, almost mirroring exactly where her wound was. “Where are we?” (Y/N) questioned taking another bite of the red apple and backing out of the kitchen.
“Somewhere safe” was all he said, his back still to her, giving her time to note all of the other little scars that resided on his back that led down to the waistline of his loose black pants.
“And where would that be?” She pushed.
Kylo turned around to face her, taking a sip from his glass of water that seemed to appear from thin air, almost giving her a questioning look. “All you need to know is we are safe, no one to bother us.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes, she was not sure what delusional world he was in, but under what circumstances did he believe she wanted to be here with him? She sighed audibly before taking another bite out of her slowly dwindling apple.
Ignoring him, she moved slowly throughout the main room, picking up random items to examine before setting them back down, all while Kylo’s eyes were trained on her from the kitchen.
“Why are we at a house and not another base?” She looked back at him, eyebrows lifting in questioning.
“The Resistance was close to finding you hence why we left, but I knew it was only a matter of time before they would locate us at another base or ship. They will never search here though, that I know.” (Y/N) closed her eyes nodding along to his words. Damn he was smart which would only prove to make escaping or being rescued that much harder! She opened her eyes, ready to quip back at his statement, but a glimmer of light caught her eye.
Down the hall in between the bookcase and desk was a door full of light. Mesmerized (Y/N)’s apple slipped from her hand as she walked towards the door, ignorant to the sound of following footsteps. As she reached the door, her hand extended outwards causing the door to slide to the left.
(Y/N) rushed out the door and into the blinding sunlight, blinking rapidly to take in the sight, a garden full of vibrant flowers and plants and just beyond a large lake glistening in the sun. Her breath was taken away as she moved along the path, bare feet taking in the sensation of the soft plush grass below, and her hands outstretched skimming the tops of tall luscious greenery. Although she quickly halted in her pursuit, a bush of white flowers, the ones from her room, catching her attention. She bent down to take in the euphoric scent, a strange sense of nostalgia washing over her.
“Those are Gardenias, your favorite.” Her thumb gently caressed a petal before she stood back up, facing away from Kylo.
“Why did you bring me here?” She questioned, eyes raking over the quiet land surrounding them.
“To keep you sa-”
“No!” (Y/N) cut him off, spinning around to face him, almost instantly regretting it due to the look of pure sincerity in his warm eyes. “Why am I here?” She tried again. She was a Resistance Fighter and he was the Supreme Leader of the First Order. She was supposed to be locked into an interrogation chair on a Star Destroyer, not galavanting through a garden with him. It did not matter that they were once friends, he had killed his own father, why was she any exception?
Kylo nodded stiffly, “Take a shower, clean your wound” Kylo pointed to her gray sweater where blood was beginning to seep through the fabric. How was she still bleeding? Her movements must have agitated the healing skin. “Then we will discuss it all.” (Y/N) was taken aback by his demand but silently nodded and followed the path back to the house, grazing past him in the process.
The skin contact left a sweltering heat behind in its absence, one (Y/N) tried to shake away, yet it only seemed to spread beneath her skin like wildfire. Kylo followed behind her, maintaining a safe distance until she stopped at her door in the hallway and he brushed past her to stop at his parallel door. Both of them stood with their backs to each other, the fire inside (Y/N) never wavering for a moment, something about this place was putting her on edge. Something about him was putting her on edge.
Whatever it was, it was bringing out something in her she always knew was there. Still feeling his hovering presence (Y/N) inhaled sharply and entered her room, the door closing behind her to shut Kylo out.
Once safe within her quarters, (Y/N) leaned against the wall and covered her burning face with her cooler hands. Something was not right, something about this place seemed eerily familiar, like she had been here before. Well, she must of been, her portrait hung on one of the walls… just another piece lost in her mind. Kylo had promised if she came with him, that he would reveal her past, a part of her was wondering if he would ever get around to that.
Pushing herself off the wall, (Y/N) headed to the bathroom, but halted in her movement. What was she supposed to wear? Turning on her heel, she walked out into the hallway, going to knock on Kylo’s door. Before her fist could touch the metal of the blast door, it slid open on its own.
“Kylo?” (Y/N) poked her head in, seeing no sign of him and hearing the faint sound of running water. Stepping inside, her (Y/E/C) eyes roamed around the larger room, with more furniture and items scattered around. There was a large unmade bed on the back wall with purple and pale green sheets in a heap on top. (Y/N)’s hand reached out to feel the fabric, a part of her already knowing what the cool soft silk felt like, a part of her already knew what it felt like against her warm skin.
There was a large gray chair by the end of the bed, the seat covered in black clothing, that she could only imagine belonging to one person. Between two large windows was a dresser covered in dust and face down picture frames, curiously (Y/N) stepped forward to examine them, but something in the corner of her eye directed her attention elsewhere.
In the right corner of the room, were odd lacerations seared into the cement foundation of the wall. (Y/N)’s fingers traced over the marks that were cold and faded, signifying their age, a decade old at least. It looked as if the marks had been burned into the wall, (Y/N)’s thoughts making her eyes widened in realization… Lightsaber slashes.
“Ahh (Y/N)?” A voice disrupted (Y/N)’s shock, the girl instinctively turning towards the person. Behind her stood a naked Kylo Ren, well practically, a towel was loosely wrapped around his waist. (Y/N) gulped taking in the sight of glistening chest and the wet hair that clung to his face, his ears poking out slightly. The fire inside blazed as her eyes raked over his figure, her fingers itching to trace over every scar, divot, and even run through his hair. Snapping back to reality, (Y/N) looked to see the smirk residing on Kylo’s face before she whipped around.
“Oh I’m so sorry! I just needed some clothes and... b-bandages, yes bandages!” She kept her one hand pressed to her face trying to diminish the hot blush and the other trying to eradicate her racing heart.
“The wardrobe and dresser are full of clothes, I had them stocked for you. As for bandages I will find some for you.” He answered simply, although she could detect a hint of humor hidden in his words. (Y/N) rolled her eyes, how foolish of her to assume those would be empty.
“Um yes thank you, I’ll go now.” (Y/N) squeaked out, keeping her hand up as a shield as she exited the room.
Back in the safety of her room, (Y/N)’s mind raced, why was she having these bizarre thoughts? He was the enemy, who had committed horrendous crimes, yet these thoughts still emerged. He was a monster, yet this newly surfacing part of her wanted to believe the man in the other room had been seduced to the dark side like General Organa said. Maybe (Y/N) only wanted to believe that because he held the key to her past.
With her chest weighing her down, (Y/N) retrieved clothing from the wardrobe and dresser and tossed them onto the bed, before entering the bathroom. The bathroom was decently sized with white floors and gray walls, the shower calling her name. Undressing and removing her leaking bandages, (Y/N) slipped into the shower. She allowed for the warm water to wash over, hoping that it would cleanse away her confusion.
Yet, as she turned off the water, a grimace fell over her features the restless confusion still eating away at her. Grabbing a soft ivory towel from a shelf, (Y/N) wrapped it around herself as she caught her reflection in the fogged up mirror. Wiping away the moisture she revealed her dripping wet reflection, her scar red from the hot water. Mindlessly her index finger reached up to trace the jagged outline of the skin causing a flash of an image behind her eyes to illuminate.
(Y/N) was suddenly overwhelmed by a searing burning pain on the right side of her neck. She looked around to find herself now lying in an infirmary, a young boy seated besides her bed, his awkwardly long body tucked into itself as his head was cradled in his hands. “Ben” she whispered. His head sprung up at her hoarse voice, his eyes red and filled with tears.
“(Y/N)” He choked out grasping her hand tightly within his. Silent tears continued to shed from his eyes as (Y/N)’s free hand softly wiped them away. “I’m so sorry” he mumbled, but she only silenced the boy, caressing his sad stricken face.
“It was an accident, I knew better than to move that close and I lost my footing in return.” The boy only shook his head, his inky curls bouncing at the movement.
“Stop, it’s my fault.” Tears still staining his flushed face.
“Ben...” (Y/N) went to move, her voice faltering at the pain spreading through her neck. She grimaced biting the inside of her cheek, not wanting to bring attention to her discomfort, but the boy watched her intently… he always did.
“I could never… if you ever…” His voice broke, not being able to deliver the painful words.
“I’m not going anywhere Ben.” She smiled comfortingly, letting her fingers run through his wild hair.
The boy leaned forward pressing his wet lips to her forehead, “I can’t lose you (Y/N).” His voice was stern, determined and almost threatening, but she dismissed it more worried about the tears still falling down his cheeks. His face covered by his black hair fell down, resting against their intertwined hands.
“I know Ben, I know.”
(Y/N) jumped back to see herself still standing in front of the fogged up mirror, finger still loosely trailing the rim of her scar. Was that a memory? How was she remembering? She closed her eyes, feeling the boy’s lips graze across her forehead. She could not connect the young boy to Kylo, yet there was no denying they were the same person, or once were. It felt too unrealistic to tell herself that the sweet crying boy was the monstrous murderer just a room away. What was more horrifying was how close they seemed as young adults, how drawn to him (Y/N) was beginning to feel. None of it was making any sense and it was starting to sicken the girl.
Releasing a deep sigh she exited to her room, seeing a few freshly picked stems of lavender placed on top of her clothing. She hesitantly approached the edge of the bed and reached for the tiny purple plant. A smile overcame (Y/N)’s face at the intoxicating smell, she could not even help it. A distant sound of wind brushing through trees and water slowly lapping against the shore filled (Y/N)’s ears, making the girl feel somewhere else. She could feel the warm setting sun on her skin, the smell of fresh lavender and cherry blossoms floating into her nose. She could hear a distant voice speaking to her, whispering her name.
Out of shock, she dropped the stems of lavender, the sounds and sensations disappearing with it. What the fuck was happening? She needed to find answers. Hurriedly (Y/N) put on the plain beige colored undergarments, black flowy pants, and a dark purple blouse, along with her black boots. The clothes contrasted sharply against her Resistance attire, even the First Order attire she had worn. The only true piece of her was found in the purple crystal that never left her neck. The clothes reminded her of the more formal clothing she had worn on Hosnian Prime, with the Strkyers. She was the “daughter” of the Senator after all, she had to look the part.
Oh how she missed them, perhaps they were not her real family, but they had taken her in when (Y/N) was only a shell of a person. They had helped her find her purpose, in helping others, and gave her a family. She only hoped that if she could discover who she truly was that they would still be looking upon her in pride wherever they now resided.
Lingering for a moment, (Y/N) took a deep breath attempting to gather her courage. Fear encasing her heart at the thought of her past finally being revealed, that had to be what Kylo would discuss with her, right? Who was she before? Was she the same or a completely different person? She closed her eyes willing away the fear, knowing she would never come to fear anything if she did not leave this room. Silently reassuring herself, (Y/N) stepped out into the hallway and walked towards the main opening. Her boots slapping against the wood only adding to her nerves as she came to find the main living area empty, no sign of Kylo. Down the hall the blast door was open, a large boulder preventing it from closing, and (Y/N) quickly realized why, heading outwards.
She exited back outside in the beautiful garden, the bright light and vivid colors of the greenery making the whole scenery seem like nothing but a dream. Her eyes drifted across the land, enchanted by each blossoming flower and small tree, but her bright (Y/E/C) eyes caught something else in the mix. A dark figure standing down by the shoreline of the sparkling lake. Her feet lead the way down a stone path straight to Kylo, while (Y/N) took the time to examine their hideaway. It was truly just a house, a white structure with rich blue trim detailing the outline of the house and around the windows. The house looked like a dream too, perhaps this was all just a dream. (Y/N) laughed the idea away, her imagination was not this extensive or creative.
Finally reaching the shoreline, (Y/N) came to a stop besides Kylo, who was silently watching the water. His black hair had dried and instead of just a towel, he wore black pants and a dark navy blue sweater. He almost looked normal outside of his menacing Supreme Leader uniform. Her eyes trailed back up to his head, finding his eyes had turned away from the water and were now focused upon her. A twitch of his lips, an almost smile appearing on his face, as his hand extended down to caress her cheek. His rough calloused hand brought a rush of blood forward under her skin, painting them a faint pink, his touch erupting a fire in her she could not ignore. It was as if she was under a trance, under his spell, as she felt the allure to him, the need to trust and open up to him. “I think I remembered something.” She mumbled still enjoying his soft strokes.
“You did?” He exclaimed faltering in his motions.
(Y/N) lifted her hand up to once again trace her burn mark, “I remembered after I got this… the Infirmary...” She trailed off watching the guilt cloud his eyes. “It seemed like an accident, I don’t remember what caused it, but you were so worried after… so distraught.” She added remembering the crying boy, deep down a part of her could feel his pain, as if it were her own.
“I never forgave myself for that day. We had practiced countless times before and one misstep and I hurt you in exchange.” (Y/N)’s eyebrows knitted together, what had they been practicing?
“From what I remember, it was no one’s fault, a simple accident.”
Kylo only shook his head, “No, if I had been an inch closer I would’ve killed you.”
“Well I’m alive so…” She laughed trying to comfort him, lifting her hand cautiously to his face. His stare intensified as he looked down upon her, making the girl almost squirm uncomfortably.
“Do you remember anything else from my visit to the Infirmary?” He questioned a glimmer of hope sparkling in his warm eyes.
“No? Should I?”
Kylo chuckled lightly, the apples of his cheeks tinting a slight darker shade, “No I suppose not, not yet at least.” (Y/N) retracted her hand and pondered his words, she could not remember anything else after his confession. “Oh I found bandages as well.” Kylo announced retrieving a small bundle of beige wrapping from his other hand. His eyes looked to hers, then flickering down to her side, and back up questioningly.
(Y/N) let out a sigh of defeat, “Be quick with it.”
Turning her head to watch the lake, she lifted the right side of her blouse revealing her wound to Kylo. She vaguely saw him lower himself to one knee, his hands faintly skimming against her skin, particularly an old scar from a rough landing with Poe long ago. His thumb ran over the healed skin multiple times, before snapping himself out of his trance. Finally looking to her red and scabbing blaster wound, his hands moved to wrap the bandages around it tightly.
The wind skimmed across the surface of the lake, creating gentle waves, reminding her of the noises and sensations she heard when smelling the lavender. “There’s something about this place, something that is resurfacing parts of my past.” (Y/N) confessed dropping her blouse back down to cover her abdomen, her (Y/E/C) eyes looking down to him questioningly.
“I was hoping it would, that means they are in there still. It means I can get them back.”
“They?” Kylo ignored her questioning, standing up and backing away from the lake and heading towards the garden. (Y/N) stood there frozen, contemplating whether or not she should follow, until he turned around.
“Do you want your memories back (Y/N)?” Her breath hitched in her throat at his words. Was it possible? Did she want to remember? Of course, but why did she feel her stomach twisting itself into knots? Was she afraid of being disappointed in who she was before or perhaps hate who she had become?
(Y/N) nodded, her mind too busy to form a coherent sentence. Kylo’s hand extended outwards and (Y/N) graciously took it, her nerves bursting with electricity at the contact. She wanted to know who (Y/N) (Y/L/N) was and maybe her past could light the way to who (Y/N) Stryker was meant to be.
The two walked at a brisk pace back into the garden following a different path away from the door into the house, the silence guiding them, and her hand still clasped tightly in his. Kylo came to an abrupt stop, causing (Y/N) to slam into his hard back, lose her footing, and land on the plush grass. “(Y/N)!” Kylo whipped around searching her for any sign of an injury. His serious expression broke when (Y/N) began to giggle, extending her hand out to him for help. Kylo let out a small chuckle, pulling her up and into his chest, the electrical current imbedded in her bloodstream warming her skin at their close proximity.
“You were always so clumsy.” He whispered, his warm breath fanning over her flushed face. He held her close as (Y/N) lost herself in his addicting scent, cedarwood, cloves, and lavender. It was nothing like the bar of soap on the Star Destroyer, this was enticing, he was enticing. The two held eye contact, both lost in the depths of each other’s eyes. How could (Y/N) have forgotten such beautiful brown eyes? “(Y/N)” he whispered, to which she only hummed out a response, still hypnotized by him. Kylo cleared his throat, tearing his eyes away from her, breaking the spell.
“You need to close your eyes and clear your mind.” (Y/N) swallowed thickly and followed his instructions. With her eyelids shut and purely listening to the rhythm of her heart, she let Kylo guide her to sit down on a cool stone slab, a bench. Her hands instantly gripped the edge in anticipation, her nerves making her heartbeat pick up.
“I’ll try and make it as painless as possible, don’t forget I’ll be right here, okay?” She nodded silently, pressing her lips into a fine line, mentally bracing herself.
She could hear Kylo back away silently and the movement of fabric before she suddenly felt a tug on her brain, eliciting a nervous exhale from her lips. The tug intensified and (Y/N) tightened her grip on the bench, trying to prevent any indication of the pain she was in. This was worth it, she just had to fight through it.
“Calm your mind.” Kylo reminded and she inhaled deeply, listening to her rapid heartbeat. Her heartbeat quickened as another painful pull rippled through her mind. A whimper escaped her lips as a sudden burst of light illuminated inside her mind, an internal wall crumbling down.
“(Y/N)?”
Taglist:
@benpeggycartersolo
@2heures
#kylo ren x reader#kylo ren#kylo ren fanfiction#ben solo#ben solo x reader#ben solo fanfiction#star wars imagine#Adam driver x reader
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Abi’s Masterlist
business (yandere x reader)
summary: It was never personal for him. Always business. But that's before you came along. And oh, my dear, you turned his lonely life around in a direction you never wanted. You were just a simple woman working for a magazine called the Sharzet and you're just trying to make your way through life, keeping your head down and out of trouble. But that's when it came along. The assignment to interview one of the most wealthy and influential men of the year- Edward Gimmens.
Prologue
Blurbs
Yandere Ben Solo Blurb(s):
summary: You’re captured and detained in a First Order ship. You’re trying to be strong in the midst of this fearful situation while also being worried about your best friend, Poe. And on top of that, you can’t shake off this connected feeling with your abductor- Kylo Ren
1
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One Shots / Requests / Gifts Masterlist
Fragile Clay (NSFW) (Kylo x Reader) [request by anon]
Get Ready (NSFW) (Kylo x Reader)
Step On Me (NSFW) (Ushar x Reader) [request by anon & @findyourdarkness]
When Needed (Kylo x Reader) [gift for @kylorengarbagedump]
Request (Kylo x Reader) [for @lovingthedarkside]
I Can Do Better (Kylo x Reader) [for juuls and @kylorengarbagedump]
Happy Birthday, Abi (KoR and Kylo x Reader) [gift for @findyourdarkness]
Happy Birthday, Dear (Kylo and KoR x Reader) [gift for anon]
Happy Birthday, Micah (Phillip Altman x Reader) [gift for @strongtwiheart]
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We Belong to the Stars, CH.1
Word Count: 2828
Pairing: Poe/OFC
Characters: Poe Dameron, Leia Organa, BB-8, Kaleb Skywalker (OC), Evelyn Skywalker (OC), Karé Kun, Iolo Arana, Kylo Ren
A Resistance spy has sent vital information about the First Order’s super weapon before his untimely death at the hands of Kylo Ren. Now, it's a race against time to obtain the information before the First Order destroys it. Leia sends members of the Resistance's top squadron in the hopes that they can track the information down before its too late.
A/N: This story takes place in the verse that my Drabble series ( Pathways ) verse sets up. You don't need to read those to necessarily to understand what's going on in this story however. I hope you enjoy it!
AO3
Unknown Regions, 33 ABY
There was no time for escape once the first Star Destroyer showed up in system.
His only hope of getting the information he possessed to the Resistance, then he had to transmit it. Since no one knew their exact location, there was no way it would reach them directly; he was going to have to get creative. Plugging in the code for one of his more trusted contacts from his days in the New Republic's Intelligence Core, he slipped the disc into the computer, frantically downloading the information he had gathered for the last six months. It had been General Organa’s idea to get some on the inside, Lothor had been one of the Republic’s top-notch spies—it only made sense for him to infiltrate the First Order.
He'd made it pretty far up the ranks until Kylo Ren suspected him.
Screaming outside the door announced the arrival of the enemy. Lothor looked at the screen, desperately. Still fifty percent of the information needed to be downloaded. He knew that it would take those bucketheads a while to break through the coded door, he just hoped it was enough. Thirty-five percent. Something began to cut through the heavy armor of the door, the tip of a red light saber. Lothor could feel the fear running through him—through the tiny little outpost he had taken refuge in when fleeing the First Order.
Kylo Ren, the demon behind a metal mask.
Twenty-five percent. Lothor unholstered his blaster and aimed it at the door. He knew it would not hold off Kylo, he’d seen the man stop blast bolts mid-air, but it would provide a distraction, perhaps one long enough for the rest of the information to send to the Senator.
One hand on the controls of the computer, one eye watching as it ticked down, while the other hand held the blaster, the other eye watched as the metal of the door fell away. Kylo stepped into the room, face hidden behind a mask. “Agent Lothor. The plans—you will stop that transmission immediately.”
“Make me,” Lothor snapped, firing at the dark side user. He wasn’t surprised when Kylo easily deflected the blasts with his saber.
“My patience is wearing thin,” Kylo snarled, holding his hand out and snatching Lothor in a paralyzing grasp. “The plans—now!”
Lothor managed to glance at the computer, even if he was being held against his will with the Force. It was blinking: transmission sent. “You’re too late, Ren. The plans are in the hands of the Resistance.”
Kylo hissed, tightening his hold on the spy. “I will just trace the transmission.”
As if on cue, the computer console overheated, wires sparking and igniting, sending small plumes of smoke into the air. Lothor managed a weak smile. “Doesn’t seem like you’ll be able to. You can certainly give it a try, but I highly doubt you'll be successful. Even if you are, good luck breaking through all the encryption codes.”
“I will get those plans back, traitor,” Kylo said.
“Like I said; good luck,” Lothor snapped.
Those were his last words. Kylo Ren cut him down and left his body behind.
Resistance Transport Ship
It was incredibly difficult to sleep on a transport ship.
Commander Poe Dameron—formally of the New Republic Navy, now a full-fledged member of the Resistance—had given up an hour ago to catch some shut eye. He laid on a bottom bunk, one arm behind his head, eyes staring up at the sleeping form of one of his lieutenants. He regarded Iolo Arana and Karé Kun as family; he was both happy and relieved that they were joining him on this journey. All three were tired of their hands being tied, of being told not to engage the First Order. Well, the Navy’s lack of response had cost Lieutenant Muran his life and would have cost Poe his commission if Leia Organa had not taken notice.
Rolling over onto his side, Poe took a deep, steadying breath. He’d been shocked to see Leia when he landed back on Mirrin Prime after directly disobeying Lonno Deso’s orders. It had been five years since he’d seen her, five years since she formed the Resistance—five years since he’d walked away from the woman he loved without ever letting her know how he truly felt. Squeezing his eyes shut, Poe fought his emotions, fought to push the image of Evelyn’s face the night they said goodbye from his mind. He felt the same twist in his gut, the same clench of his heart, whenever he thought about her. He’d been so young and stupid five years ago, walking away from her at her most vulnerable hour because he had some stupid oath to the Republic to honor…
“You thinking about her?” Iolo mumbled next to him.
“Every waking hour,” Poe mumbled back.
Iolo sat up on his bunk. The Kershian had been there when things had all gone to hell five years ago, he’d been there when they had gone to hell five days ago. “Have you thought about what you’re going to say to her when you see her?”
Poe winced. No, he had not thought about it, even though he knew it was going to be unavoidable. She would be there; she would be fighting right alongside her aunt to protect the galaxy from tyranny. “What can I say to her? I left, Iolo…”
The other man sighed, pushing his hair back. “How about starting with I’m sorry.”
His chest tightened. “Yeah… that probably is a good place to start.”
Karé shifted above him, her voice sleepily calling down, “And then you should probably tell her what an idiot you are, you know, for walking away from her like that—after she pleaded with you to join her, to fight with her.”
“And after giving her that really expensive, beautiful pendant,” Iolo added.
“Right. I forgot about the kyber crystal,” Karé said. “Stars, Poe, you suck at the romance thing.”
“Alright, alright, I get it,” Poe whispered, harshly, noticing that their conversation was disturbing the recruits that had managed to fall asleep on the transport. “I suck at romance.”
Iolo glanced at the commander, then up at Karé. In the last five years, they’d watched as Poe pined away for Evelyn, even making some desperate attempts to move on from her that never really panned out because, quite frankly, Poe had never stopped loving Evelyn. “Maybe you should also throw in there that you love her,” he said, then shrugged his shoulders, “you know, just a suggestion.”
Poe rolled onto his back once again, rubbing his hands over his face. What if she’s moved on? What if she doesn’t love me? These thoughts had plagued him for a while now, but more so since he agreed to go with Leia back to the Resistance. “I don’t know if that’s what she wants to hear… it’s been five years Iolo, anything could have happened in those five years.”
Karé clicked her tongue. “You think she’s moved on? Well… I guess with how you left things… I don’t say I blame her if she did.”
Neither do I, Poe thought, instantly hating himself. I broke her heart, I made her believe that the Republic was more important than she was. Kun is right—you are an idiot.
It was with this thought on the brain that Poe fell into a restless sleep. He was woken by the transport coming out of hyperspace and the lights going from dim to harsh. Inwardly groaning, Poe climbed out from underneath his bunk, grabbing his duffel at his feet. He slung the bag over his shoulder and woke BB-8 from his low power mode. The droid buzzed to life, asking if they had arrived at their new destination. “We have for now, buddy, let’s go.”
BB-8 followed behind the three pilots, his photoreceptor taking in the scene. They were on a bright, shiny, refitted Mon Calamari cruiser. In the hanger there were various makes of starfighters, mostly slightly older models of X-wings. He was happy that his master had not left him behind, that he believed he could do some good for the Resistance as well.
A slender, very young woman with dark hair, met the three pilots at the end of the ramp. Poe tossed her a smile. “Hi Korrie,” he said, recalling the nickname that Leia had often used with her. “Are you the welcoming committee?”
Korr Sella pulled her lips into a small smile. “Commander. Yes, I guess you could say in a way I am the welcoming committee. General Organa wanted to meet with you as soon as you arrived. I’m here to take you to her. Lieutenant Kun, Lieutenant Arana, someone will be along to help you get settled into your quarters. I’m sure you’re all tired from your trip. I know how difficult it can be to sleep on those transports.”
Poe glanced at his squad, gave them a slight nod that it was okay, and then left the hanger with Korr—BB-8 following closing behind him. They were led through the stark white corridors until they reached the General’s private office. The young woman entered a code in the keypad, and the doors opened.
“Commander Dameron has arrived, General,” Korr announced as they stepped into her space.
“About time,” Leia Organa quipped from behind her desk. She rose her whisky brown eyes to his and smiled, “What took you so long, Poe?”
“Stubbornness?” Poe offered, because he didn’t have any other explanation.
Leia chuckled. “I guess that’s good as any explanation as I’m ever going to get.”
Poe smiled, sadly. “Maybe I just needed to see things for myself.”
“Perhaps. And now that you’ve seen these things do you see what I was talking about five years ago?”
“Yes ma’am, and I’m sorry that I didn’t see it sooner.”
“I’m not sure I’m the one that you really need to be apologizing to, Poe,” Leia said, softly.
“I know,” Poe replied in a near whisper, casting his eyes downward.
Leia took a deep breath, sympathy filling her brown eyes. “I’m sorry, Poe, about Lieutenant Muran. He was a good pilot.”
Poe nodded in agreement. “An even better man.”
BB-8 warbled in agreement, which caused Leia to smile. “I see you still have your droid.”
“Wouldn’t trade him for anything in the galaxy, ma’am,” Poe said, with fondness. “He’s saved my life quite a few times.”
“And for that the Resistance is thankful,” Leia commented. “I don’t know how much Korrie was able to tell you, but we lost our wing commander a few weeks ago, my fighter squadrons have been a royal mess and we haven’t been able to send anyone out on any missions, except recruiting. I’ve thought about giving the job to Kaleb or Evelyn, but they don’t have military training—can outfly most of our pilots—but lack the strategic planning, formation knowledge.”
Poe remained neutral. He had no doubt that Kaleb or Evelyn Skywalker had the piloting skills to be wing commander, however, Leia was right—neither of them had been trained by the military. “Is this like the old days, when you would comm me and ask for advice on pilots and if I thought they were up for the job?”
Leia smiled and shrugged her shoulders. “Something like that,” she said. “Lieutenant Kun and Arana are due promotions, both capable leaders in their own right. I have about twelve pilots that just entered the ranks and I think they could whip them into shape fast.”
He titled his head to the side, glanced at BB-8, and nodded in agreement with the General. “Both are fine pilots, would make great squadron leaders. Although, I’d hate to lose them… it’s time for them to move up in the ranks. They’ve more than earned it.”
She continued to smile at him. “I’m glad to hear you say that, Poe. Because I feel you need to move up in the ranks as well—you’ve more than earned it. I only wish I could see the look on the brass' faces when they find out what I’ve done. You angered a lot of people higher up.”
“I did what I thought was right, ma’am.”
“I know. And stop calling me ma’am.”
“Do you prefer General?”
“I prefer Leia.”
Poe smiled, shyly. He felt that he needed to earn her respect back before he ever started calling her Leia. “Give me more time with that, General.”
Leia shook her head and handed him a data pad. “We’re going to be working together a lot, Commander Dameron, if you’re going to be our wing commander.”
His dark brown eyes went wide for a second. Poe could hear BB-8 beeping and warbling, brushing his dome against the pilot’s calf. “Ma’am—General—Leia…are you sure?” he stammered, not sure what to call her or what to say, exactly.
She grinned at him and stretched her hand out, offering a firm handshake. “I never make decisions lightly, Poe. As I told you on Mirrin Prime, we need passionate right about now, someone devoted to doing the right thing at all times, even if that means getting a little reckless here and there. So, congratulations. Now, your first official order of business—go to your quarters, get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning at zero seven hundred to meet with the others.”
“Yes ma’am,” Poe said with a slight grin, finally feeling like he was actually doing something about the First Order.
“Poe,” Leia called to him just before Korr led him to his quarters, “you need to talk to her, and soon; you’ve already waited five years too many, don’t you think?”
Yes, I probably should have chased after that transport five years ago; said goodbye to the Navy—but Papa, how could I turn my back on him? Poe knew that was a ridiculous excuse, his father would have supported his decision no matter what. “Does she even want to…see me?”
Leia sized him up for a moment, how the usually cool, confident young man was so absolutely unsure of himself when it came to speaking to her niece. “I don’t have the answer to that question. I can tell you that in the months after we left Hosnian Prime, she kept trying to find answers as to why you walked away.”
Poe winced, his eyes catching sight of BB-8. “Did you tell her because I was a coward?”
“I didn’t tell her anything. Other than you had your reasons for staying behind.”
“I put my oath before her.”
“Common mistake that a lot of good leaders make, Poe.”
“General Organa… I never meant… I didn’t want to hurt her.”
Her stance softened, a motherly look coming to her eyes. Leia knew this, he did not need to tell her. Poe had been there the night the Jedi Temple had been destroyed, he’d been there when Evelyn and Kaleb had revealed that it was her own son that had perpetrated it all and if circumstances were slightly different, perhaps Poe would have been there when she formed the Resistance. However, that was all in the past. “Just talk to her, Commander. You both need closure.”
His shoulders slumped, slightly, and he nodded, looking more exhausted than he had five minutes ago. Poe heard Leia order him to get some sleep once again, and he was off, following Korr. She made small talk; he could tell she was feeling slightly uncomfortable given all the history that Poe shared with Leia and her family. BB-8 certainly perked up when the young woman mentioned that they had already placed a charging station on Poe’s quarters for him. Poe smiled, tiredly. “Thanks. He really hates charging in the hanger. Too cold for him.”
Korr shot him a funny look. “Do droids feel temperature?”
Poe shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t know. It’s just what he’s told me. Besides, he’s my pal, and I kinda hate the idea of him alone in that hanger.”
“There are other droids charging in the hanger,” Korr pointed out.
“Yeah but none as special as BeeBee,” Poe supplied, scratching his droid for good measure.
She rolled her eyes and left him for the night outside of his new living space. He took a deep breath and keyed the code in. Stepping inside he could make out a small sitting area with a sofa, chair, and table; there was a desk on the far-right side, and on the left a door to the refresher and his bedroom. Next to the sofa he could see BB-8’s charging station.
Poe heaved a sigh as the door closed behind him. “Home sweet home,” he murmured to the droid.
BB-8 brushed against him, softly beeping.
“I’m fine, buddy, tired,” Poe assured the droid. He dropped his bag down near the sofa. “Why don’t you plug in for the night? Sounds like we have a busy day tomorrow.”
#star wars#star wars fanfiction#poe dameron fanfiction#poe dameron#evelyn skywalker (oc)#kaleb skywalker (oc)#kare kun#Iolo arana#leia organa#bb-8#kylo ren#black squadron#we belong to the stars
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