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wammyhoe · 1 year

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Happy birthday, Mello

Summary: Baking a cake as birthday present for Mello sounded like an easy task. After you sent him (much against his will) to find some inexistent products at your local store, you find out there are more than a milion ways this could go wrong.

A/N: Comedy / romance / female!reader / established relationship /

You snuggled closer to Mello. He brushed his lips on your hair. His voice was peaceful as he read to you. You caressed his chest idly, enjoying the faint, relaxed smile on his face.

The snow tapping your window eased you as much as the softwood cracks at the room's fireplace. There was just a tiny problem: you craved more hot chocolate. You motioned up, but Mello held you tighter in response.

“Where are you going?”

“I'm out of chocolate, I’m getting a little more. You want some too?”

Mello hummed. “Yeah, but I’ll go.”

You turned, smiling teasingly. “Ooh, feeling a little attentive today, huh?”

Mello gives out a small laugh. “You think that’s what it is? I just want my chocolate to be drinkable. You always make it too hot,” he retorted with the same playful teasing tone.

You watched him as he left, which later led your eyes to the wall calendar. His birthday was three days away. You gasped at the sudden realization that you haven't prepared anything yet.

It wasn’t difficult to pick something for Mello. You knew him better than anyone. You had been dating since the dreadful Kira days, and you've been through thick and thin together. This year, however, you want to gift him something different. Something meaningful. Special.

The wooden floor cracked again when Mello came back with two steaming cups. He carefully gave one to you and placed the other on the nearby table.

“Now, where were we?” he asked once you were leaning comfortably on him, his chin brushed on your head as he spoke.

"What bloody man is that?" you answered trying to act the part, which earned you a soft laugh.

“Oh, that’s right. What bloody man is that?...” he continued. Yet, this time you stopped listening.

This year's gift needed to communicate how important he was to you. Perhaps, you could make something for him. Yes! That was it! A handmade gift would do!

****

After a day –and several hours of youtube videos and wandering Pinterest–you decided that baking him a cake was the top option. It was thoughtful and romantic, and you could add that skincare complete-set he was looking at in the store the other day.

Now the hard part of this would be how to take Mello out of the house for almost half a day so you could not only bake and decorate a two-floored goddamn cake but wrap the gift and buy other stuff you might need.

It then occurred to you that sending him to buy something that he couldn't find would do just nicely. That night at dinner, you let out the bomb.

December 12th, 6:45 pm, at your shared home.

“Babe,” you called.

Mello raised his gaze from his pasta dish as he kept rolling it with the fork.

“Could you get something for me after dinner?”

“What do you need?”

“Just some feminine stuff,” you said. Could someone like Mello fall into this trap? Oh, maybe you were a bit foolish.

He quirked a brow. “Pads?” Mello guessed. You shock your head.

“No. It’s the hmm… the new… rose coochie douche.”

You have to bite your tongue so as not to laugh at his face. Your boyfriend stares at you for a flat second before placing the fork down.

“What the fuck is that?”

“It’s a new special soap for the genital area!”

“Is it different from the one you already have?" He asked with a sceptical look.

"Yes."

"How is it different?"

Oh no, he wasn’t buying it.

“D-Do you want the explanation now that we’re eating?!”

“I’m pretty hard to gross out.”

True, he did behead someone once.

“God, Mello! It's just a bar of soap! come on please, I’m about to be on my days and it'd be nice to have it. Is supposed to help with chafing,” you said the last part as if it embarrassed you.

He sighed, staring dead into your eyes with a look you only saw him use when trying to deduce something back in his mafia boss days, and you gave him your best puppy eyes in response.

“Fine. But I swear to god if you’re sending me looking for something that doesn’t exist…”

“No, I promise! I know it has a weird name but it’s real. They only sell it at the Walmart by the old green tavern.”

“Across the city?!” he hushed-screamed, his expression falling over in shock.

“Yes,” your voice came out shaky and little, maybe with a hint of questioning tone.

Mello took a deep breath, brushing his hair with one hand, pushing the bangs out of his forehead in that way you found adorable.

“And you need it to deal with chafing,” Mello said, maybe reasoning out loud he wasn't that much of a dick so as not to help you with that.

“Yes.”

A fraction of a second –that felt like two eternities– passed before he reluctantly indulged you.

“Fine.”

December 12th, 10:45 pm, at your shared home.

Mello left several hours ago and hadn’t come back yet. You’d be worried if he wasn’t who he was, and if you weren’t dealing with a whole fucking two-floored velvet cake on your own.

Overall, things weren’t going too badly. You bought the base (a black plate with a stick of the same colour to stabilize the cake) and made the topping which was saved in the freezer.

The only thing left was preparing the mix. After baking it, you could add the topping, decorate it, and you'd still have enough time to hide it in the fridge for tomorrow.

December 12th, 10:45 pm, at Walmart.

“I’m sorry sir, could you repeat once again what is it that you’re looking for?”

Mello was trying, trying with all his might not to murder someone right there and then. He gritted his teeth.

“Rose coochie douche. It’s supposed to be a new soap for intimate female care.”

Both cashiers exchanged a look, their mouths folded in an attempt to hold the laughter. Mello sighed, defeated and fed up.

“It doesn’t exist, does it?” One of them just couldn’t hold it any longer and slapped her hand over her mouth after she snorted.

“Sir, I wouldn't know… but if it does exist we don’t sell it here.” the other said forcing down a smile, her cheekbones turning pink.

Unbelievable. He had been stocked in the traffic for hours only to have two strangers mock him at fucking Walmart because you sent him on a prank trip.

“Never mind.” Mello spat under his breath.

He adjusted his jacket's neck when he stepped outside. As he walked to his car, he pulled out his phone pondering whether or not to call you. He stared at the screen for a few seconds before deciding he wasn't giving you the satisfaction.

A boy in a motorbike honked, startling him. Mello jumped off of the parking spot, remembering he still hadn't bought the tires to fix his own. The store was a few blocks ahead. It was open twenty-four-seven.

Mello glanced at his phone once more. It was late, but if got them now, he wouldn’t have anything to do tomorrow, therefore, he’d be able to spend his whole birthday at home.

His birthday.

Ever since he was a kid those things seemed stupid. Why bother celebrating something so useless? it wasn’t like anyone cared anyway. Those sorts of things, the ones related to family and cheering someone for existing were matters he found troublesome to process, as he was convinced his life wasn't worth celebrating.

Luckily for him, he found you, and even if he still wasn’t fully convinced his existence was worth as much as you claimed, Mello sure didn’t consider celebrating his birthday useless anymore.

Before he could stop himself, he was dumbly smiling at the memory of how you practically forced a few mafia junks to sing happy birthday to him that one time.

Fuck.

He couldn’t stay mad at you, could he?

December 12th, 11:30 pm, at your shared home.

The fucking cake wasn’t puffing. The mix was still flat and bubbling, but it had been almost an hour in the oven! something must be wrong, but you couldn’t tell what. You followed the recipe step by step. Maybe you poured in too much red colourant? Oh God, if Mello arrived before you finished, how were you gonna explain this?

Wait! maybe if you increased the power of the oven, the mixture would bake faster!

December 12th, 11:52 pm, at your shared home.

As soon as Mello opened the door, the smell of burnt and smoke hit his nose, triggering an alarm signal in his brain that became raw panic when he heard you screaming.

Mello darted like a shot arrow towards the living room. He grabbed the emergency extinguisher before running to the kitchen, firing it as soon as he saw the flames coming out of the oven before you.

You gasped when the cold hit your side. The next thing you heard was the empty hit of metal on the floor. Mello pulled you to him.

“Hey, look at me!" he demanded, shaking you a bit. Your eyes were stuck on the over. Mello forced you to face him. "Look at me! Are you okay?!”

Mello was frantically pulling you close to him, his hands wandering your face, neck and arms as he searched for any wound. The pain of your skin being calcined was one of the things he would never want you to experience.

“I’m okay,” you said between coughs, as you reached for the window, tearing it open.

“What the hell were you doing?!” Mello shrieked, worry staining his voice.

Now that the smoke was gone, you could see the remains of burned cake covered with foam. You felt like crying.

“Baking…” you whispered, trying to reach the stove. Mello didn’t let you.

“Baking? Is this why you sent me finding some stupid made-up product?! so you could bake?! Do you have any idea of what time it is?” His voice raised more with every question. It held a certain denigrating tone.

“This could've gone out of control!” he yelled.

“I didn’t think… I was just trying… I–” you sighed.

Your trembling knees gave out, and you allowed your weight to go limp, propelling Mello to the floor with you slowly.

“I just wanted to bake the cake for your birthday. I have never given you anything handmade. I thought it was a good idea." you muttered, flooded with self-disappointment, unable to look at him. You snickered. "How stupid, right? I have never done this before, yet somehow I thought I could manage to do it in a few hours."

You roughly tossed the dishcloth you’d been holding onto the floor.

” I wanted it to be a surprise. Sorry for the jump scare. Go to sleep, babe. I'll clean this out," you said. Tiredness crept into your tone.

Mello gaped. So that’s why you were acting funny the whole morning. That’s why you sent him on a trip to find god knows what vagina soap.

Mello snorted.

Ever since he met you you’ve always found new ways of making him feel special. His chest felt tight with undeniable affection.

"Well, it did surprise me." His voice carried such a sudden fondness it made you look at him. "You sure you're okay?"

You nodded.

Mello held your chin. “Good,” he hesitated before continuing, “Sorry I yelled at you. I panicked.”

“It’s fine, I would have too. Look at that mess. There’s nothing left to save. At least it wasn't your only gift.”

He gave you an inquisitive look.

“I got you a few more presents. This was going to be the extra. I wanted it to be special.”

Mello looked at you lovingly, all the scare and past anger long forgotten.

"I have my best present right here."

His lips captured your mouth shortly after, and the kiss son became heated. The kitchen clock chimes at twelve. December 13th. You pulled away, smiling.

“Happy birthday Mello.”

#mello #mello death note #mello's birthday #december 13th -#death note #mello x you #mello x reader #wammy boys #wammy boys x reader

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prettycure20thanniversary · 7 months

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Part 3 - again?!

more unwatched seasons of pretty cure~ frankly my insides were ded as I took more pictures (for fellow fans)

Mahou Tsukai Pretty Cure! (aka Witchy Pretty Cure!)

Kira Kira☆Pretty Cure A La Mode

The designs for this booth is absolutely yummy~ ❤ Couldn't resist taking more photos~

HUGtto! Pretty Cure (aka Hug! Pretty Cure)

Star☆Twinkle Pretty Cure

#precure 20th anniversary #witchy precure #mahou tsukai precure #kira kira precure a la mode #hugtto precure #star twinkle precure

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redpool · 5 months

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Liveblog of the Teen Wolf: The Movie

Yeah that a great place to store the most powerful enemy you've ever had

That was the whitest Japanese I've ever heard

Who the fuck are you

Ok darth vader, chill out

This is the worst thing I have ever watched

Oh my god

Just no

Jesus

Dude, what the fuck?

Swearing??

I hate it here

Still don't like her

ELI!!!!

Jordan?? Why are you still here?

Mason's a cop now? Why.

DEREK IS A OFFICALLY A DILF

Dude, that was so unnecessary

Dude, that was so unnecessary pt 2

And you're holding hands why?

That was not a two person job

I hate you all

Exactly, why are you here?

Why are you explaining what the nemeton is? We already know????

Eli, that was unnecessary

Derek seems like the best dad

He's a shithead

And a smartass

And also a dumbass

Is it just me or is the a ting really bad?

Oh God, I know what's about to happen.

I'm not mentally prepared for what's about to happen

I dont want to see Ryan's ass

I have been subjected to so many naked bodies over the past week, I'm over it.

I HATE IT HERE

WHERE DID THE RELATIONSHIP COME FROM???

THEYVE NEVER EVEN SAID TWO WORDS TO EACHOTHER

Awww, he's trying to be a good dad

Can you put your pants on please

Does this relationship actually bring anything to the plot?

*eyeroll*

Jesus christ

Why are they acting like they've never been there before??

Seriously, why.

Um ok riddler calm down

Oh, never mind

Have you just learnt to swear??

Umm??

Bonding moment?

Are we not going to talk about that???

Yeah, Eli and Derek are the only good thing about this movie.

What the fuck

Have I mentioned that I hate it here?

Umm

Wow, they really are using that r rating to the fullest, huh.

Why is she naked.

She didn't die naked, so why is she naked?

Umm

COACH!!!!!

Why am I doing this to myself

Best scene in that whole movie

The lip filler on this one

Why are her nails painted and done perfectly??

Are you kidding me?

You're going to tell me that Allison, who just came back from the dead, can beat a werecoyote, two police officers AND a true alpha?

Um ew

Dramatic ass

Ok bro, you are over acting rn

What the actual fuck

Why are you walking like that?

Mother?

Liar liar

Lol

Oh my god

Jesus

She went straight for the head

What

You're going to sit there and tell me that a human woman is stronger than a at full health werewolf?

Kitsune really said 🧍🏻‍♀️

Just heal? Why aren't you healing?

'Yeah, but I'm a good demon.' yeah bby you are

BOO BITCH

WHY HAVE YOU NOT HEALED?

I've witnessed the Derek Hale take worse hits then that and walk around like its nothing.

Ok, that was pretty cool.

Why are they taking out normal humans?

PETER

You've been spending too much time with cowboys

Jesus christ.

You two just need to kiss already

No, it's Kira. You need Kira. You don't need Lydia, you need Kira.

What in the CGI fuck was that

I seriously hate it here.

I really dont give a shit

Lady, you dont even know this child.

Her quiver was literally just empty.

Oh my god

*deep sigh*

Are Tyler Hoechlin and Ian Bohen the only actor that continued a ting after Teen Wolf ended?

You're such a shit-stirrer Peter

It should have been you, instead of Brett & Lori.

Oop, she ded

Oh, they got dusted.

Why did I just gasp?

Oh ok, just throw him down the stairs why don't you.

Oh my god

NOW SPARTA KICK HIM

Are you an idiot?

That was so unnecessary pt 3

Yeah like I cant fucking see the puddle of blood sitting right there.

I'm so uncomfortable

How has the acting gotten worse?

You guys are fully grown werewolves, it's a piece of fucking rope.

I didn't care about your relationship then and I still don't now.

It's the fucking teacher isn't it.

I miss Brett so much. Isaac too.

You're getting to Joker rn dude.

PROTECTIVE DAD DEREK

How has the eye cgi gotten worse?

Called it

That's so sad

Has everyone in this movie just forgotten how to act?

Yeah, I really dont care.

Yeah, that's not how it works bruh

See, should have recruited Peter ages ago.

YOU STUPID BITCH

HE BETTER BE OK, I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD

Missed you Jords

How tf would you know?

Do the roar

Holy fuck

Fully body goosebumps rn

Oh shit

Oof

Umm what?

He's a unicorn

Bout fucking time

That was so fucking cool

Ew, no.

Jesus fucking christ

I see some Johnny Cage in you Sheriff.

Umm ew

You look like a really fucked up seal

Please shift back. Your wolf faces are really ugly.

Jordan, can you please do something.

'You can't catch me! I'm the ginger bread man.'

Gets worse everytime.

Headbutt

Jords, had him just fine. Derek didn't have to sacrifice himself.

Unnecessary death so it doesn't count.

What is with the writers and burning the Hales.

AND IN FRONT OF HIS CHILD AND PERVIOUSLY BURNT UNCLE????

Bullshit

That didn't happen. Derek is fine.

Get out of my fucking house.

That didn't happen either.

I fucking hate you.

You're full on making me cry rn.

Pretty sure Derek was the first teen wolf character I ever liked, this hits deep.

Oh honey

No.

You seriously think that Peter and Cora would let Allison and Scott raise that child?

Ew, stop.

Have fun in hell bitch.

Am I supposed to know who that is?

Eli, what the fuck are you doing?

#teen wolf #teen wolf the movie #liam dunbar #eli hale #derek hale #scott mccall #lydia martin #peter hale #alan deaton #chris argent #melissa mccall #nogitsune #malia tate #jordan parrish #allison argent #sheriff stilinski

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zoediacbeets · 1 year

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major spoilers for ep 90 (also my words are all over the place like its just a big mess)

man ep 90 is great we got

canon character designs albatrio looks so cool whee

kira (we stan a respectful queen)

HOT MODE

kuba kenta and gill trading comebacks

shadow bitch comes for chip

THE DREAD HELM RETURNSS

kira hearing out jay and not wanting to fight omg i love her sm

chip learns the consequences of his actions

shadow guy plays unfairly :((

JAY COMIN IN WITH THE CLUTCH AND THE DOUBLE TEAM WITH CHIP WOOOO

OH LORD THEY JUST KILLED THE GUY

ominous last words from shadow drow, foreshadowing maybe??

large cat and stronk fish gets flung 300 ft

gill pulls a pro gamer move and pulls out a 10,000 pound anchor :')

THE ENLARGE ITS NOW 80,000 POUNDS IM CRYINGG

"you are not built ford tough"

110 DAMAGE???

chip has his moment of reflection only to be interrupted by gill falling

the wave and the thumbs up as gill plummets :')

chip drinks the potion meant for gillion this lovable bastard

chip tries to poke a hole in the new health potion help

gill n chip holding a ded kuba kenta hostage?? kinda weird

rufus has a talk with chip, tears are shed

i am poring over every minute detail, like chip and gill were a little bit off, esp with chip killing the shadow drow and thinking about it only after, and with gill's fight with kuba because ik he's self-sacrificing but I didn't know it would be to this extreme

also with the whole holding kuba hostage because they've never done that before, but some people are much better off explaining this than I am (in fact i'll bet someone's already mentioned all this)

#jrwi #jrwi show #jrwi riptide #jrwi spoilers #jrwi jay #jrwi chip #jrwi gillion #sort of liveblog??#idk i was drafting this while i was watching #word dump on the dash i'm so sorry

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grimalkinmessor · 1 year

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Don't mind me I'm trying to archive my Death Note OCs before I forget to draw them :')

Suraci -

Shinigami

He/It

Completely translucent skin, metal cage for a chest with fire trapped in it, glass orb eyes, wax wings, wax claws, glass teeth. BALD.

Beyond's "dad" as far as Shinigami can be called that

Got fuckin' BODIED by Cinis after he found out that it possessed a human and had sex with the guy's wife, producing a semi-Shinigami kid. He ded.

Stranger: Your parents know you talk like that?

Baby Beyond: They dead. •_•.

Stranger: ...(0-0");

Cinis -

Shinigami King

He/She (Mostly he)

BIG. Completely void black save for his wings, which are made up of bones. Long locs with glass shards throughout, hollow eye sockets, gold fangs, spider legs jutting out of his spine behind his wings, cloven feet. No flesh to his cheeks so you can see all her teeth ✨

He mostly just vibes until someone fucks something up. He's also not always super pressed do anything about it either lol. Deadass she could hear explosions in the distance and just be like "Damn hope that didn't ruin anything important. Anyway." Depending on what fic I'm sticking him in, Cinis either admires Kira from afar, or is out for his life/pride. There's SOME inbetween, but not much. If you noticed I made him bigender to mirror my hc that Light is bigender yes you did.

Vasykl Keehl -

Human

He/Him

Mello's older brother who got separated from him in the system. Spent the rest of his life trying to track his little brother down but being blocked by Wammy's at every turn. Grew up and became a private security guard that still looks for Mello on the side.

Vas is,,,,very tall. Tall and broad—looks kind of like Aiber but a bit softer. He's blond, just like Mello, but his eyes are hazel instead of blue. Daddy's eyeballs. He wears a lot of leather, just like Mello, but he looks more like a biker than a BDSM king. Imagine S1 Emma Swan but male.

Henka -

Human

He/Him

Trans! He's fifteen, one of Kira's faithful brought in by Mikami. Very shy and quiet but also lethally loyal to Light. An acknowledged acolyte and eventual High Priest.

Mice -

Human

They/Them

Fuckin' NUTS. Small, wild brown hair, likes to climb things. Always wearing someone else's jacket. It changes every time you turn around—it's like a superpower. Age ambiguous but anywhere from twelve to fifteen, depending on whether or not they're acting serious at the time. Lotsa freckles and big ole blue-gray eyes.

Small time criminal and petty thief that Kira employs to get him information on the Bigger Fish™ of the underworld. They adore mushrooms and shiny things; they are also homeless and slightly feral. Mice will rob you blind before you can get through saying hello to them. Light becomes very good at dodging sudden sneak attacks because Mice keeps trying to climb him—it's quickly becoming their life goal.

Spider -

Human

She/Her

Somewhere around fifteen-sixteen-seventeen. Black. Dark brown hair that ombres into hot pink at the ends—her bangs cover her eyes and most of the top half of her face; effectively making it very difficult for anyone to find out her true name even with Shinigami eyes. Dresses mostly in leather and fluff, always in black and neon. Scene kids WISH they had her swag.

Big ole cyber nerd. Even better at hacking than Matt. She figures out who Kira is and tracks him down so she can talk to him—she mirrors Misa a bit but her relationship with Light is far closer to Sayu's. She's a (annoying) guiding voice on morals and helps Light track down corrupt government officials on the condition that he, you know, calm the hell down on murdering purse snatchers and pick pocketers. She originally tracked Kira down because he murdered her mom—not that she's particularly sad about it.

"You killed my mom"

"I don't remember that but I'm not going to apologize—"

"Oh no you don't have to, she was a bitch, I wanted to say thanks actually"

No, Mice and Spider do not know the other exists. This is a testament to both of their prowess lmao. Light's definitely not going to tell them because they would band together against him to annoy the absolute shit out of him. Also blackmail. They would totally blackmail him.

#death note ocs #death note #suraci #cinis #mice #spider #most of my ocs will probably always be team kira #just because i like crime #i could give L some crime besties but he already has some so what's even the point :/#i thought about giving him an arsonist but then realized he has beyond for that #original characters #cinis is technically already a character i just...expanded him into a person i could actually write #rough concepts #might change some things around later to suit whatever fic im throwing 'em in #vasykl keehl #henka

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saikosblog7 · 2 days

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Mini comic

Context:

It’s a part of my lore, after a school attack who happend before Saiko (Kari) was adopted by Hernos, her twin brother (Chiru), "died" (went missing). And Em was found by him, which he gave them (Em) therapy, and found alot of Saiko’s friend (aka: childhood bsf + Baktha ded)

The pink dressed woman: Sylvie

The cyborg with a black costume: Agent.P

The soldier: Nolan

The blonde: Eva (Was Ezra basically) (Nolan’s gf)

The bunny: Kira

The black shadow: Kimy/The controlonist (Since Will died, Kimy (a girl that i knew at the same time as i knew Nolan) somehow came)

The green tank top: Chris (Chiru’s bf)

Extra bonus:

They talked, but Saiko messed up by accidentally tells her feeling for Em, they’ré somehow dating XD (Funny way)

Chiru started dating Chris when he was a bit drunk and revealed his feeling to Chris like an idiot

0 notes

bllsbailey · 2 months

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Monday Morning Meme Madness

It's Monday! You know what that means? You know all that exhausting stuff you got to do all last week? Well … you get to do it again! Woohoo!

Yes, we feel your pain, Twitchy friends, so let's lighten the load with our favorite memes, jokes, and videos from the past week.

I can't stop laughing at this pic.twitter.com/bpIbbNZMdN— NO CONTEXT HUMANS (@HumansNoContext) February 27, 2024

May your workday go better than that.

Would you do this? 😬😂🫶 pic.twitter.com/Qo72yY3jl0— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) March 4, 2024

Ouch! LOL.

pic.twitter.com/lLfsbAqX2C— Mens_Corner__ (@Mens_Corner__) February 26, 2024

DISCLAIMER: Twitchy nor its parent company is responsible for any harm incurred from following the advice given by third parties in Monday Morning Meme Madness.

Life is so hard sometimes 😬😂🫶https://t.co/UfXiIqcJmi— Templar⚔️ (@aTeXan575) March 3, 2024

LOLOLOL!

😂 pic.twitter.com/gSzDixCsbN— Woman of Wonder (@WonderW97800751) February 26, 2024

That cannot be real. Right? RIGHT?!?

this dude is always hilarious 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/n45iy0uacw— Rock (@TheCensoredRock) February 26, 2024

Ha! He looks like he had a 'surprise colonoscopy'. 💀

pic.twitter.com/mhUyy1jfVE— Declaration of Memes (@LibertyCappy) February 26, 2024

That's good.

— Epoch Animal Lovers (@EP_AnimalLovers) June 7, 2023

Bwahaha! That donkey is a rock star, and the lady's laugh … perfect!

pic.twitter.com/C9m43pXQdg— Slightly Venomous Kirk (@jamusp) February 26, 2024

Okay, we've now taken this Flamin' Hot craze too far. LOL.

Good morning, X. 😀 pic.twitter.com/wNrRI68fzU— KneesPenguin2.0 (@KLee8615) February 27, 2024

That dude literally spilled the beans!

Married ladies. Take note, this is ACCURATE AF! pic.twitter.com/j1KkswMKZt— Yore Friend Whig 🇮🇱 (@WhigJust) February 28, 2024

Recommended

It's all true. You can get weeks … maybe even months … out of a pair of jeans.

🙄 pic.twitter.com/a3MLYHkQDE— Judianna (@Judianna) February 26, 2024

Hey, we'd pay money to watch a pitcher emerge from the water and throw a major-league fastball.

😂🤣😭 pic.twitter.com/U5eIqkeBzw— Pizza Pepe (@RealPizzaPepe) February 27, 2024

LOL! Problem solved.

short girls 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/VqomSen4B8— Rock (@TheCensoredRock) February 28, 2024

Well done, funny lady.

For all this talk of how "based" Norm Macdonald is... he's been voting Democrat for the past 3 years.— RazörFist (@RAZ0RFIST) February 28, 2024

Norm would have loved that joke.

We need to bring back 90's era commercials pic.twitter.com/edg2z2Tk2h— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) February 28, 2024

HAHA! You younger folks probably think we're exaggerating when we GenXers tell you we grew up in the greatest time ever. Not even one bit.

🤣😂🤣😂🤣 pic.twitter.com/MZBwrbQrE8— 💂🏻‍♀️👋🏻вєαя🍻🇬🇧™ (@BigBearF1) February 28, 2024

Harsh, dad. LOL.

i’m in tears wtf did they give bro😭 pic.twitter.com/cOLTHrFbt6— kira 👾 (@kirawontmiss) February 28, 2024

LOLOLOL!

pic.twitter.com/Mr2MCDHtnh— Yore Friend Whig 🇮🇱 (@WhigJust) March 2, 2024

HAHAHA!

And also where the heck I’m supposed to look while I’m in the dentist’s chair? I’m never sure what to do with my eyes. Do I close them? Do I stare at his face? Do I look at the ceiling? What’s the proper etiquette here? pic.twitter.com/PzhTsJDiu1— Judianna (@Judianna) March 3, 2024

What about the eye doctor?!? The dude is gazing straight into your eyes. It seems like he should at least buy us dinner. So awkward.

— Bambam (@xderpalertx) February 27, 2024

Love it!

For a moment, it was the hottest culinary experience in history... https://t.co/OVWLtjQgUr— Andrew Donaldson (@four4thefire) March 3, 2024

Oooh! That's dark. We laughed.

Ok but the pantless one literally flying out the door had me ded 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pic.twitter.com/ZjM3tr5wKW— 💭Aunt Cinnamon (@AuntCinnamon) March 3, 2024

We have to agree. Sure, it was possibly fake, but those feet disappearing out the door … 💀💀💀

Every day. Nothing compares to the midnight release of a new candle https://t.co/8WX5B4FlLs— ʎǝlɹɐɥƆ (@charleyonhere) March 3, 2024

Ha! Speaking of candles …

pic.twitter.com/F2wnTRj2Gg— Rani, Last of The Red Hot Boomers (@ShadesOfRani) March 4, 2024

LOL.

pic.twitter.com/5ZxAhHUsPG— Orwell & Goode (@OrwellNGoode) March 3, 2024

Wow! These people go hard, but it could be worse …

This is ice cold. pic.twitter.com/zTGUjkE0LU— QENNY is hurkle-durkling (@AKBrews) March 3, 2024

BOOM!

— Keith Humphreys (@KeithNHumphreys) March 3, 2024

LOLOLOL!

The drone ran out of battery and provided a scene worthy of Hollywood pic.twitter.com/42jgySIarU— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) March 3, 2024

Ha! Nice.

GM pic.twitter.com/G9neZUMZkl— 🍀 Duchess of Shenanigans 🍀 (@AnnaDsays) March 3, 2024

Cats, y'all. They do what they want …

pic.twitter.com/WrZuSFSx8t— Jim Pacing His Cage 🤦‍♂️🤞🧨🚁🆓 🐱‍👤🕊 (@iamisgo11) March 3, 2024

… or else.

😂😂 this cracked me up pic.twitter.com/97nH6xcYVw— QENNY is hurkle-durkling (@AKBrews) March 3, 2024

💀💀💀

Big baby 🤗🤗🐕 pic.twitter.com/o7Qb5n6kl2— Original Spike1962 (@Spike19621) March 3, 2024

This dog's name better be 'Chewie'.

Another juggler gives up on his dreams. pic.twitter.com/ikvYAYnikp— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) March 3, 2024

You hate to see it.

Remembering Owen and Beru on #NationalToastDay. pic.twitter.com/JJ3YJKYAxh— Marshall Julius 🚀 (@MarshallJulius) February 29, 2024

Sick burn.

🍿🥤 pic.twitter.com/NcYzaNNgsp— SoulCoughingOne (@SoulCoughingOne) March 3, 2024

Man, this is some dark stuff. LOL.

Even Steve Harvey was on their side pic.twitter.com/Mj83g2BY5q— Historic Vids (@historyinmemes) March 3, 2024

They got robbed. 😂

“I do have a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career” https://t.co/KaPWs5r7g5 pic.twitter.com/0123Bu0Bx6— Long Monkeypox (@podiatristdon) March 4, 2024

Now we can't unsee it.

Which friend are you? pic.twitter.com/5NFwUsdPJo— Shana (@cynicallycute) March 3, 2024

LOL.

pic.twitter.com/2iEQTcwN81— MaryAnnNotGinger 💋 (@MAnotGinger) March 3, 2024

HAHA!

Every time 😂 pic.twitter.com/eDKL3vDh00— Justin Hart (@justin_hart) March 3, 2024

The internet was a mistake.

🤔 pic.twitter.com/4mavLM1T11— Judianna (@Judianna) March 4, 2024

YES, PLEASE!!!

pic.twitter.com/JwgubLu4ke— Doni 🤓🏴🏴‍☠️ (@DoniTheDon_) March 3, 2024

BWAHAHA!

Me haré vegano el día que un bebé ponga esa cara con una lechuga. Palabra. pic.twitter.com/LvtzaVzPOS— _DON_ BAIRES_⭐️⭐️⭐️ (@DonDrPr_4ever) March 3, 2024

We still make that face.

pic.twitter.com/LfJlo4Z52j— Spill The Memes (@SpillTheMemes) March 4, 2024

Oh my.

I think you’ve had enough mate. pic.twitter.com/Ejc4A0E9ku— No Context Brits (@NoContextBrits) March 3, 2024

You cannot have too many pockets! LOL.

🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/Ux8u1azbLK— The Best (@ThebestFigen) March 3, 2024

Don't let anyone ride you like an orca at Sea World on this fine Monday morning. Get out there and seize this Monday by the horns and wipe your nose on the grindstone … or something like that.

Until we meme again …

***

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fryologyy · 3 years

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having fun with a death note au

#myart #fanart #death note #l lawliet #light yagami #death note au #au #so basically. light yagami doesn't get the notebook and instead L does #L being L decides to use it for 'good' and thusly starts merking criminals once he has probable cause and is confident in his theories #and then kira comes into the picture and light yagami is extremely sus about it #very very sus #so L is like 'well its obviously this kid' and gets him good and ded #the murders stop for a total of eight hours and then someone else kicks it flamboyantly in a very kira-esque way #so L is like oh my god. i was wrong. how was i wrong. i was right #and ryuk starts looking like the winged ghost of light yagami bc L is guilty asd #& then everything starts unraveling until it's revealed that he's really got about a 75% accy rate in his judgement #and most are innocent #kira is misa by the way #and misa gets to be with rem and also fistfight L at the end

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kirayamidemon · 3 years

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its 6 am n i just wanna scream bout eel bois

#kira talks #i'm sorry i'm still being a dumbass dork #im so tired n ded lmaooo #but i got like nother hr or so to kill #wat am i gonna do for n hr #someone help me kill time or find a way to kill time

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fangirl-ramblings · 4 years

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Pairing: Javier Escuella x OC (Kira Stephens)

Word count: 532

Notes: Fluff with a hint of angst

The theme of this story is quite fitting as I struggled to get this finished on time for the wonderful @eddescuella's birthday 🙈 I'm sorry for the lateness but hopefully this more than makes up for it

📷 Photocredit for header: @12timetraveler

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on A03 *~

Mi amor por ti es eterno

❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅Kira sat on the edge of the cliff, watching as the Dakota River cut through the landscape below her feet.

It wasn't like she expected anybody to remember it was her birthday, but it would've been nice if somebody had. No, what had happened instead was all her so-called friends scattered themselves across the map, claiming it was best they all laid low after the last big mission they'd pulled off had attracted some unwanted attention from the local sheriff.

Kira rolled her eyes at the thought; she thought the job yesterday had gone well and couldn't recall seeing anybody taking chase after them. In fact, the whole thing struck Kira as odd, usually there was a calm panic, as the spoils of the heist were shared between them, with a fond farewell and a wishing of each other good luck until next time - but this time it was a quick "Meet back up at the usual spot in tomorrow and we'll sort everything out then"

That's where she had found herself now, sitting in a small clearing in one of the many overlooks just outside of Valentine.

"...Valentine" She thought to herself. She hadn't been back to the area since that night she walked into Smithfields and saw Javier chatting up the buxom redhead that Kira mistakenly thought she couldn't possibly compete with for his affections.

Kira sighed as she allowed herself to think about him for the first time in a long while. It wasn't like they'd promised to commit themselves to each other, but confusingly, they hadn't exactly made it clear where they stood with one another either - and it was this glimmer of hope that made it hard for Kira to give up on him entirely.

She was brought out of her daydream by her beloved Hungarian Halfbreed trotting over and nudging himself against her.

"I know you didn't forget Filipe" she whispered, patting his neck. Standing up and reaching into her saddle bag to grab an apple to reward his unwavering loyalty, she noticed something hidden in the saddle that wasn't there when she first arrived at the location earlier this afternoon.

She gently ran her fingers over the handle of the blade, admiring the engravings that she knew could only be the work of one man. The craftsmanship was a big clue, but seeing her favourite flowers surrounding the words…."mi amor por ti es eterno" was what really gave it away.

"¿De verdad pensaste que olvidaría tu cumpleaños mi amor?" Javier asked, leaning against a tree just behind Kira, holding a bunch of the same flowers as he watched her reaction.

Spinning around to face him, she burst into tears.

"¿Que...cuando...cómo…?" her fluency in the Spanish language failing her as she rushed towards him, throwing her arms around his neck.

Javier chuckled as he near stumbled back with the force her tiny body threw at him.

"Why do you think I asked your friends to help get you here alone?"

Kira blinked as she took his words in, "You did all this?"

"I did," he grinned, taking her hand in his, "now let's make the most of our time alone together shall we?"

❅────────✧❅✦❅✧────────❅

My Spanish is rusty at best but hopefully I've translated these correctly

Mi amor por ti es eterno - My love for you us eternal

¿De verdad pensaste que olvidaría tu cumpleaños mi amor? - Did you really think that I would forget your birthday my love?

¿Que...cuando...cómo? - What...when...how?"

#fangirl writes #javier escuella x f!oc #kira stephens #red ded redemption 2 #rdr2 #kira stephens x javier escuella #caralook

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thedeadbitchwalking · 6 months

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I feel like dottores would not care about creator reader in any other way other than interest. He would probably experiment on them if he got his hands on them first.

So off of that idea I present even more trauma for imposter Au. Getting chased was already bad enough and now what if dottores found them and decided that they would make the perfect little play thing to pass the time. In the process finds out they they are the real deal and tries to twist the divinity. Now I think it could be one of the other harbingers that find out like Pantalone who's questioning the added expenses or reader escapes, unlikely but possible.

Then we can go either back to imposter Au or change the vibe to soft Au, both readers would still have too much trauma to even start to trust someone.

So yeah that's my little brain rot for today and I'm not dead

#genshin x reader #genshin cult au #genshin impact #genshin sagau #sagau angst #genshin angst #dottore #pantalone #kira ded

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writingandsins · 4 years

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Alejandro Escuella

@eddescuella

#red dead oc #eddescuella #red ded redemption 2 #rdo #red dead online #Javier Escuella #Hes so handsome #Kira Stephens #i was getting coyote vibes

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the-queer-fox · 4 years

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So I decided to transcribe it because there are too many photos and I don't feel like sorting through them all. Also I can put it in chronological order so that's fun. Okay okay I hope you enjoy my commentary/incorrect quotes/weird summaries/actual quotes of Orphan Black, as recorded by iMessage (And no I will not explain what is canon and what isn't)

-------------

Cosima: I think Delphine is my evil monitor

Sarah: Okay so avoid her at all costs

Cosima: I'm not gonna do that. In fact, I'm so against that that I'm going to develop a romantic relationship with her while knowing full well she's helping people who may or may not want to kill me

Sarah:

Sarah: Cosima what the fuck?

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Oh my god she just fuckin sent a rocket powered pencil flying into this woman's eye and like yEah I knew it was gonna happen cause my dad has a figurine for it but STILL HOLY SHIT

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Cosima: *walks in wearing giant rainbow ribbons in her hair*

Helena: You're better?

Cosima: Yeah, I'm all cured thanks to science

Everyone: *exchanges awkward looks*

-------------

Alison and her husband just decided to become drug dealers and everyone is okay with this??? They're suburban parents with two young kids what the fuck????

-------------

Alison and Donnie were in their room in underwear just throwing money around and twerking and doing all these crazy weird sexual dances and then their SIX YEAR OLD DAUGHTER WALKED IN IM SOBBING-

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Cosima, pretending to be Alison: And as a lesbian

Everyone: :0

Cosima, panicking: sUPPORTER-

-------------

Season One: Neolution is the cause of all our problems

Season Two Neolution was just a front for the real bad guys

Season Three: Neolution? That's not important anymore

Season Four and Five: Surprise bitch it WAS Neolution this whole time!

-------------

Cosima: Hey Kira, what's up?

Kira, an 8 year old: I dreamed you set my mother on fire

Cosima: uH-

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Cosima: *breaks into a birthing facility to find evil guys*

Cosima: *accidentally helps deliver a baby*

7 hours later

Oh wait yeah I forgot to mention it was a mutant baby so

-------------

Cosima: Hi I'm Cosima

MK: I've heard about you. How's your disease?

Cosima: Oh you know, incurable, so that sucks

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Cosima: If we have to move forward, Rachel's out. So is Ira.

Rachel: You can't afford to exclude us Cosima

Cosima: Bye Bye

Rachel: :0

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Alison is now performing a community theatre rendition of Jesus Christ Superstar and I don't know how to react to this

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Appreciation for the fact that there's two dead bodies buried in Alison and Donnie's garage.

Rachel: Aldous Leekie is buried in your garage?

Alison: Minus the head which was donated to science

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Kids: *go wandering into the woods*

Me: Oh my fuckin god they gonna die

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Cosima, leaning back in her chair: Ya got a lotta dead things in here! Don't ya!

Delphine: *panik face*

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Mud: Don't go down there

Cosima: *goes down there*

Cosima: Live fast die young bad girls do it well-

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Krystal is such a dumb bitch I love her.

Art: Steer him to Dyad

Sarah: Don't make it obvious

Krystal: yOU SOLD YOUR COMPANY TO DYAD-

Art and Sarah: *facepalm*

-------------

Felix: Goddess of wisdom and knowledge

Cosima:

Felix, whispering: Do what comes naturally

Cosima: *starts a rave on the dance floor*

-------------

Nooooo

NOOOOOOOO

THEY KILLED GRACIE! AND I ACTUALLY LIKED HER

FUCK

And now Siobhan's dead, damn. At least she killed Ferdinand in the process.

No this is sad

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

SEASON FIVE AINT PULLIN ANY PUNCHES HOLY SHIT HOLY SHT HOLY SHIT

THEY'RE JUST

KILLING OFF THE MAIN CHARACTERS LIKE WHO GIVES A SHIT

-------------

Doot Doot Doot Doot

A casual update with all the clones - what are they doing now? Season Five Edition

Sarah: Kidnapping her own daughter

Cosima: Starting a riot on a private island

Alison: Vibin in California with kombucha

Helena: Stick in baby

Rachel: Pulling her own eyeball out of her head

Krystal: Still believing cosmetic companies are the real bad guys here

Tony: Off vibin somewhere

MK: Fuckin ded

Beth: Also fuckin ded

--------

R says:

#bro i have no idea what's happening but im giggling and this is hilarious-#bella (the writertm)#bella (dumbass spy squad)#submission

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finneganbalor · 4 years

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Ded serveric serverated server in.us Bir sunucu olabilir kaynakların tek kullanımını gerektiren herhangi bir web projesi için özel bir sunucu önerilir sağlamak veya oyun sunucuları olarak da kullanılacaktır. Size adanmış sunucular ile olacak kendi adanmış sunucunuzu alın. Ve ayrıca piyasadaki en son donanım yarar. Bir olsun özel kök sunucu ile en iyi performansı uygun fiyata kullanıyoruz çünkü özellikle DDR4 RAM ve SSD sabit diskler ile birlikte Intel'den güçlü Xeon CPU'lar. Ded dedicatedic serverated sunuc yourunuz kurulum ve yeni adanmış kök ile de teknisyenler tarafından özellikle sizin için hazırlanan mı sizden sunucu önde gelen uluslararası üstün marka donanım alacaksınız üreticiler. Tüm sunucular Almanya'da geliştirilmiş ve özel olarak üretilmiştir . Bu sağlar ekonomik şartlarda yüksek performanslı sunucular sunmak. Donanım Intel'den temin edilir, Samsung, Kingston ve Supermicro, diğerleri arasında. Ayrıca, her zaman en son kullanır müşterileri için donanım. Özel sunucular için tipik uygulamalar kaynak yoğun web projeleridir, yüksek hacimli veritabanı sorguları, dinamik web siteleri ve akış ve indirme portalları olan web siteleri. Adanmış sunucular da oyun sunucuları olarak kullanım için popülerdir, çünkü oyunlar ağırlıklı olarak sunucular gerektirir yüksek performanslı CPU ve RAM ile. Adanmış sunucular da minecraft'ı barındırmak için idealdir oyun sunucuları. ABD tabanlı Dedicated sunucular / ABD Dedicated sunucular barındırma . Temok en iyi fiyata tam yönetilen adanmış sunucu barındırma sağlar. ABD bizim geniş bir göz atın tabanlı dedicated sunucular ve dedicated hosting . ServerPronto: Adanmış Sunucu Ve Bulut Barındırma Bitti Sağ. Uygun Fiyatlı Adanmış Sunucu Ve Bulut Barındırma Doğru Yapılır. . İhtiyaçlarınız ötesine geçtiğinde standart, ihtiyaçlarınıza özel bir barındırma çözümü oluşturalım. Özel sunucular-OVH Hiçbir kurulum ücreti ile 120s teslim adanmış sunucular. SSD diskler, 256 IPs ile hiçbir aylık ücret, Anti-DDoS ve özel vrack ağı. Sunucu barındırma-SERVER4YOU toplam özgürlük. Ekonomik ve esnek hosting-özel veya sanal sunucu seçin ve vurmak . Oldukça açık bir şekilde koyalım: bizimle, alırsınız maksimum performans . Dedispec: ekonomik Dedicated sunucular, Colocation, VPS ve Web . Dedispec, yüksek kaliteli özel sunucular ve uygun fiyatlı barındırma çözümleri sunar . Her konuştuğunda bizimle Dedispec'lerden biriyle konuşacaksın . Us Dedicated-ABD, Colocation adanmış sunucular ve VPS .. Eğer adanmış bir sunucu ABD konumu kira ve OnLive Server tarafından nezaret zaman. kullanabilirsiniz komple ekipman yürütme ve sunucu Derneği . Dedicated Server Provider in US / Dedicated Server USA 14 Şubat 2017 . DRUSHTİ ABD'de en iyi adanmış sunucu sağlayıcısı. İle en iyi depolama ve destek keyfini çıkarın Drushti'nin özel sunucusu.Kendi adanmış olsun . Yönetilen Adanmış Sunucu Barındırma / Rackspace. Yönetilen adanmış sunucular desteklemek için tutarlı performans ve güvenlik sunar . Rackspace bize izin vermiyor sadece çevreyi boşaltmak için değil, aynı zamanda devretmek için . En iyi performansa sahip adanmış sunucu. Daha fazla bilgi burada >>> Burgin Emma Bemma serseri Smella tekrar kullanacak!! İkiz kayalardan Fifi mükemmel! Olurdu kesinlikle tekrar satın! Bir !

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fall-in-darkness · 4 years

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Email ded serveric serverated server bizim adanmış sunucularda sadece marka donanım kullanır. En küçük adanmış sunucu bile performansı oozes. İnanılmaz derecede iyi donanımlı bir özel sunucu elde edersiniz. özellikle güçlü CPU'lar ve büyük hacimli RAM. İsterseniz daha fazla güç gerekiyorsa ve, her şeyden önce, için daha hızlı çalışın, hızlı veri erişimi sağlayan SSD sabit diskli özel bir sunucu seçebilirsiniz. İçinde ayrıca, her zaman ek sabit diskler ile sunucu tamamlamak için seçeneğiniz vardır. Özel sanallaştırmayı etkinleştiren sunucular. Sanallaştırma için optimum performans elde edersiniz kadar olan sunucular 16 vCores ve 64 GB DDR4 RAM. Bu performans ile, birden fazla çalışabilir bir fiziksel sunucuda sanal makineler. Sanallaştırma için Sanallaştırma sağlar yazılım, VMware vSphere yanı sıra Proxmox ve Hyper-V için yürütmek gerektiğini unutmayın sanallaştırma yazılımının kurulum yapılandırması ve bu hizmeti vermediğimiz. 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