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depressed-avocado · 2 years

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||SAKUATSU AND THE JAPANESE MEDIA||

have you all noticed how we have an abundance of sakuatsu fics, fanart and stans in the western media but very few and rare doujins served by the japanese side of the fandom?

even the sporadic content we see has a very different take on sakuatsu than we do..

now, take myself as a referance. i entered the fandom with a vengeance against all but suga, avoided sakuatsu and kagehina like it was the COVID epicenter itself but a year and a half later ended up reading one teeny fanfic on ao3 out of dire curiousity and ended up with sakuatsu as my adopted babies.

there was a lot of discussion on this ship on twt, tumblr and the like, but when i searched up for doujins to satisfy my horny hunger, i found none?

the very few and far between were actually AtsuSaku (top atsumu, still not much common with the english speaking world) and SakuOsa (poor atsumu 🤣) and featured sakusa as a very grumpy, tsundere, devil-may-care lover whom atsumu had to ask permission just to kiss. compare THAT to how the western fandom potrays him as the blunt jerk who is nefariously down bad for atsumu, but is still kinda loveable and chaotic in his own steed.

the thing is, sakuatsu is a rare ship. there are hardly 5 panels on interaction for them in the manga, and still quite less info on sakusa available, which gives the people the opportunity to mould him into any shape they want. atsumu has more chemistry with hinata, aran, kita, suna, hell you'd even find more miyacest content in japan than sakuatsu. it all started out as a crack ship, something similar to matsuhana, and exploded exponentially in a span of few weeks like it was set on fire. honestly, covid-19 would be jealous.

in the year 2020, the world recieved so many beautiful fanfics, maybe some of the best in the fandom. the same teenagers once raving after kagehina and iwaoi were now adults and have had enough of bubbly, tooth rotting fluff and circumstancal angst.

iwaoi's biggest potential for angst is them seperating for college, same as bokuaka and kuroken. maybe an external factor causing a rift in the couple. very basic.

they wanted something dynamic, something real, something which allows your creativity to leap out the box and sprint several kilometres ahead.

the salient answer was sakuatsu.

only in sakuatsu, the angst potential come from the characters themselves. sakusa and atsumu are insufferable, totally unlikeable people (though i have met a lot of people like atsumu and they get on with their day just fine). they have no chill, no qualms, no redeeming feature other than volleyball and their looks and maybe this could work out?

two jerks, aint afraid to talk shit, bringing out the best (or worst?) in each other. maybe they could find love afterall? huh.

what's this? a chance for ao3 authors to expand their creative writing skills to new horizons and take artistic liberties indulgently but still have a locus to ground themselves to so that they don't go all hocus-focus?

you bet they'd take this chance.

famous fics like 'a liar's truth', 'hand study', 'burden of blame' were released and it was the explosive and beautifully belligerent start of a ship no one saw coming. riding on the highs and lows of a relationship, depicting exactly how toxic yet fulfilling realistic dating can be, its upto you how you'd end up. these fics depicted the shimmering tension, the passionate abhor and the disastrous clashes.

there was no way a huge chunk of japanese fans, enough to catalyse its popularity, would be able to reach these fics and fanarts, which were usually just characteristics fleshed out in the author's mind. ooc, if you will.

sakuatsu is literally whatever you want it to be. a murder mystery or a romcom, you decide. it is ever changing, ephemeral, dangerous. you need to keep up with every step to find its beauty.

its a pity that the japanese fandom wasn't able to catch onto this sakuatsu fever and create some god-tier content like they usually do with other notorious ships like kageoi or kitaatsu.

also, osaatsu/atsuosa, kitaatsu and atsuhina are already selling there a lot (which makes a lot of sense in hindsight than this sakuatsu, no offence) and view atsumu as a TOP.

also, also the japanese part of the fandom have no qualms with shipping komosaku and ushisaku and do it graciously, so well both characters are satisifed fully with the japanese seperately as far as they are concerned.

well, if the movies come out, there is a good chance that the sakuatsu car ride would be just around the corner again and maybe this time, the japanese fandom can hop on a ride? and show atsumu riding on sakusa too pls i need to see thier bful art ahaha

#haikyuu #hq imagines #sakuatsu #sakusa kiyoomi #miya atsumu #sakuatsu angst #sakuatsu fic #sakusa hq #sakusa imagines #sakusa x atsumu #haikyuu sakusa #miya twins #hq atsumu #atsumu #atsumu miya #hq drabbles #hq #haikyuu drabbles #haikyuu theories

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jeonghan-wonwoo · 9 months

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found an old kagehina angst from 2020. enjoy!

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note: this doesn't follow the haikyuu!! timeline/ universe where hinata went to brazil after highschool.

**1st year babies are juniors in uni, 2nd year babies are seniors in uni, 3rd year senpais already graduated.

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"Kageyama!"

"Oh? Sugawara-san!"

He ran up to Kageyama and gave him a tight hug. "I haven't seen you in a year!"

"..."

"Kageyama?"

"C-can't b-breathe-"

"Oh! Sorry!" Sugawara released Kageyama from the hug. "It's been a while since I've seen you so I missed you."

Kageyama smiled, for the first time in a while. "I miss you too, Sugawara-san."

"Are you free right now?"

"I was about to go to the superma--"

"Perfect. You can join me for lunch." Sugawara dragged him towards a small restaurant across the street.

"So, how are you?" Sugawara asked, leaning towards his highschool kouhai.

"I'm fine, Sugawara-san. Just really busy with university." He tried to smile. "How about you?" He knew where this was going and he would not succumb to his senpai.

"I'm okay. I'm currently waiting for the results of an application I submitted at a school near Karasuno." Sugawara sighs. "I've never seen or heard from you, Kageyama."

"I'm just really busy with school."

"I know you're bad at studying and need to work extra hard but you can always spare time to send a message to me or to any of us!"

"I just wanna improve myself, Sugawara-san." He says so quietly and Sugawara's hurt. This is not the Kageyama Tobio he met in Karasuno. This is not even the Kageyama Tobio that was called King of the Court in Kitagawa Daiichi. This is not his Kageyama Tobio.

"But we miss you and we're worried about you. Everyone's asking for you."

"Maybe next--"

"Hinata's worried about you."

Kageyama's rendered speechless. He has been doing his best to forget-- forget his loud voice, his small but powerful hands, stupid expressions, orange- scented shampoo, warm kisses-- forget he existed. The wall Kageyama built for months came crumbling down with just one name.

"We're so worried about you, especially Hinata. But you're ignoring all of us!" Sugawara exclaims before taking a bite of his food.

"I--" Kageyama sighs in defeat, "I can't see him yet, Sugawara-san."

"It's been a year, Kageyama."

"I know." Kageyama chuckles. "I bet eveyone thinks I’m stupid." He pushes his food away.

"You are not." Sugawara misses his Kageyama Tobio. The one whose eyes burn with the passion for volleyball, the one whose eyes has never shown fear or doubt. "Come back to us, Kageyama. We're your teammates-- friends, even."

The younger looks up and sees a small, quiet smile on his senpai-- the one that he trusted the most and that's all the assurance he needs; he nods.

"You'll try, right?"

He nods again.

"Oh, thank you!" Sugawara flops beside Kageyama and gives him a tight squeeze. Kageyama missed this-- the warmth of another person and a friend. He missed having another living being beside him.

Kageyama receives a text from Tanaka. "I'm outside your building. Where are you?"

He smiles before sending a reply. "I just finished my classes, Senpai. But I'm already on my way."

“Hurry up!”

It's been two weeks since he had lunch with Sugawara and it's been a week since everybody's slowly creeping into his life again. It started with Tanaka, Nishinoya, and Ennoshita cooking and eating dinner at his place, lunch with Yachi, Yamaguchi and Tsukishima, and the celebration of Sugawara scoring the teaching job he was waiting for.

By the fourth week, Kageyama was ready to combust and break down again. Being with them reminded him of too many memories that he has been working so hard to forget. "You don't have to force yourself. I told Suga you'll need time, and everyone's just so excited to see you. I'll tell them to slow it down." He didn't know their former captain saw through him. He has been doing his best to hide his anxiousness whenever he was with them.

He's slowly getting used to having people around him again. He's also looking forward to eating dinner with the senpais tonight.

There was suddenly a loud banging on his door, thinking it was Yachi and Yamaguchi. He was about to scream their heads off but when he opened the door, he was surprised to see someone else.

"Tobio-chan~" Oikawa says in a singy-songy voice that would usually irritate Kageyama. "Open up for your dear Senpai?"

And he does while gaping at Oikawa.

"Oh, Iwa-chan's coming too, okay?" His Senpai says, flopping down before the table.

"W-Why are you--"

"To check on my favorite kouhai, of course." He smiles. "We're cooking dinner so take this instant noodles somewhere else." He takes the unopened noodles and tosses it to Kageyama.

"Oikawa-san?" Kageyama calls out as he stashes the cup noodles away.

"Hmm?" His Senpai answers while mindlessly flipping through Kageyama's books on the table.

"Why are you here?"

Oikawa looks up at him. "Because I have not heard anything about you in a year after that incident. Then, Sugawara-san messaged me that he has finally seen and talked to you." He eyes Kageyama before continuing. "I know we have some issues between us, but I am your Senpai and I am worried about you. Everyone's worried about you. Imagine my shock when Sugawara-san called me up asking if I had seen you or heard anything from you when I was halfway across the world. The two of us haven't had any contact since you started university and yet, he still called me up frantically looking for you."

Kageyama's eyes and nose are stinging and Oikawa stands up to walk towards him. "Tobio, you are allowed to be weak. You are allowed to make mistakes. You are allowed to be hurt. You are allowed to be human." Oikawa pries Kageyama's hands away from his face. "Tobio-chan, there are things in life that you have to hold on and let go of. You have found amazing friends who will always be there for you in and out of the court; they're what you hold close. But you have to let go of the things that are hurting you."

Kageyama's tears fall and Oikawa puts his arms around him. Kageyama returns the hug before sobbing in Oikawa's arms. He has completely forgotten about his friends and yet, they were always there for him-- waiting, supporting, watching, loving from afar.

Kageyama thinks he can finally take a step forward.

It's all festive already when Kageyama arrives at Daichi's place. They were celebrating Daichi's birthday and engagement to Michimiya. Daichi, Azumane, and Tanaka are already grilling the meat outside. He walks inside and sees his senpais talking and laughing like before. He feels his chest tighten at the memories his mind conjures, but he shakes his head and smiles.

Kageyama is tastefully buzzed. He, Tanaka and Nishinoya have trying to get Sugawara drunk but all the senpai does is to walk straight and smile at them even though he might have drunk more than they have.

"Oi!" He hears a familiar voice scream. He didn't know getting drunk will let him hear a voice he has been wanting to hear.

"Shoyo!" Nishinoya screams and points somewhere outside. Kageyama follows his senpai's finger to see orange hair. He inhales and smells his shampoo meters away. His eyesight clears and his breath is caught up in his throat.

It was a mess. Nishinoya and Tanaka was tackling and screaming at Hinata. Yamaguchi and Yachi were singing old songs. Daichi, Sugawara, and Kiyoko were already preparing more food for Hinata and everyone. Kageyama crawled to the corner of the room, hiding beside Ennoshita who was watching everyone with amusement.

"You okay?" Ennoshita asks Kageyama.

Kageyama hummed before opening another can of beer and drinking.

He sees a grinning Hinata pull an unfamiliar guy beside him. "Everyone, this is Miya Atsumu, my boyfrie--"

Hinata is cut off by Kageyama running towards the direction of the bathroom.

Ennoshita walks towards Miya and Hinata, "I think he had too much to drink." He reaches a hand out to Miya. "I'm Ennoshita, nice to meet you."

"He's been there for an hour." Yachi nudges Yamaguchi.

"You know how he can be, Yachi-san." Yamaguchi whispers and Hinata hears them. He knew Kageyama could hold his alcohol pretty well.

"I'll check up on him." Sugawara walks to the bathroom. "Open up."

"I'm kind of busy, Sugawara-san."

"Kageyama Tobio."

The younger opens up the door because Sugawara never calls him like that. Sugawara sees the mess Kageyama became-- his eyes were puffy and he was sniffling non-stop.

Sugawara wraps an arm around him. "Pull yourself together. He's Hinata Shoyo, your former team mate."

"He's Hinata Shoyo, my ex."

Sugawara sighs. "Yes, he's also your ex. But I think that focusing on him being your ex isn't going to help you let go of the pain you have been holding on to so tightly."

Kageyama burries his head into Sugawara's shoulder.

"He wants you two to be normal."

"We can never be normal."

"You can try."

"I don't want to."

"If it makes you feel better, Atsumu and I dated for a while back."

"What?" He looked up to quickly and his head started spinning.

"He was the guy I dated after learning Daichi and Michimiya started dating. We hit it right off. I thought he was the one, but as you know, shit happens." Sugawara smiles.

"Hey." Hinata calls out. He found Kageyama sitting on the porch, drinking the tea Sugawara brewed for him.

"Oh, hey." Kageyama finally smiles. He breathes in the cold night air and gets a whiff of his orange-scented shampoo.

"How are you?"

"Headache. I think I drank too much."

"No, no. How are you? We haven't seen you in so long."

"I'm fine." He says so quietly. "University's taking up too much of my time. You?" He says the latter too thoughtful. He wants to throw up at the fakeness of his question.

"I'm fine. I'm starting to hate university too."

"How's Miya?"

"He's older than us, Kageyama." Hinata laughs a little.

"Miya Senpai, then. How is he?"

"He's nice. Responsible and talented. He's just really nice."

Kageyama is quiet, overthinking the information Hinata had given him. "I was invited to the US for training."

"Congratulations! We have to cele--"

"I'm doing my best to change, Hinata. I’m doing my best to learn and improve myself." Kageyama holds the cup a little too tight. "I'm doing this for you. So, I have enough reason to convince you to come back because I love you too much to let you go just like that. I love you, Hinata. I still love you."

Minutes pass and Kageyama regrets saying it.

"I'm- I'm sor-"

"Yeah," Kageyama’s eyes are glassy but he smiles. "You love him."

"We can still be friends, right?"

"Yeah." All their shared memories run through his head so quickly, he hears his heart being torn into a million pieces over and over and his lungs run out of air. "Of course, we can."

Hinata smiles again. That smile that Kageyama fell head over heels for and it doesn't make the pain bearable.

He realizes that moving forward means losing and gaining something: losing a part of him to the past and gaining new smiles from Hinata. Right now, he's content at this moment where Hinata is smiling that smile at him and it feels like he is his again.

#haikyuu #haikyū!!#kageyama #kageyama tobio #hinata #hinata shoyo #kagehina

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pearlsephoni · 1 year

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Kagehina Celebration Week 2022, Day 7: Summer Vacation

Can also be read on AO3!

Rating: T

Fandom: Haikyuu!!

Pairing: Kagehina (Kageyama/Hinata)

Characters: Shoyo Hinata, Tobio Kageyama

Word Count: 1,732

Summary: Shoyo accompanies Tobio on a brief trip that leads to bittersweet reminisces and hopeful plans.

A/N: C/W discussions of grief. Further author’s notes can be read on AO3.

The visit was Tobio’s idea. Both he and Shoyo happened to be in Miyagi that weekend, but Shoyo wasn’t planning on accompanying him. And then he got the phone call.

“Tobio?”

“Hey, um…Miwa-neesan just called me…she’s not going to be able to make it back this weekend.”

“Oh.” Then realization washed over Shoyo. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” There was a pause, and that was enough for Shoyo to anticipate what would come next. “Could you…come with me?”

And so, on a bright Saturday in the middle of July, mere weeks after his birthday, Shoyo found himself sitting in a cemetery with Tobio, eyes tracing the kanji of Kazuyo Kageyama etched into the stone set into the grass.

It wasn’t his first time visiting the grave—he’d come with Tobio on their next trip home after receiving the news that they’d both be playing in the 2020 Olympics—but the circumstances were different. At that time, Tobio had gazed down at his grandfather’s name with a small smile, the melancholy in his eyes unable to overpower the pride glowing from the rest of his features.

This was Shoyo’s first time visiting on Kazuyo’s birthday, and now Tobio was much more somber. His voice was low as he and Shoyo bowed and murmured their greetings, and his movements were almost robotic as he unpacked his offerings from his old high school bag and lined them next to the grave: some soft white flowers, a tealight, a small tin of mints, a chipped sake cup, and an unopened bottle of sake.

He also took out some small scissors and a pack of wipes, and began trimming the blades of grass that had started drooping on the stone. Shoyo understood immediately, and took out a wet wipe to wipe the dirt off of the stone.

It didn’t take long for them to finish cleaning the stone as well as they could with their limited supplies. Once the stone dried from the wipes, Tobio began arranging the offerings on it, laying the flowers at the top, the tealight just under the name, and the mints, sake, and cup along the bottom. Tobio did everything efficiently, as if he were almost working on autopilot, only to freeze after he finished placing the cup. “Tobio?” Shoyo murmured, gently coaxing back out of his head.

“The tealight. I forgot to bring a lighter.” Tobio gripped at his knees, his fingers drumming an almost frantic rhythm the longer he stared at the tiny, unlit candle.

“Oh! I can get one at the conbini. Here, I can throw these away on the way.” Shoyo gathered the dirty wipes in one hand, watching Tobio out of the corner of his eye. Sure enough, as soon as he finished speaking, those drumming fingers stilled, and Tobio’s shoulders relaxed from around his ears. The sight made Shoyo’s heart squeeze, and he gave into the urge to press a kiss into Tobio’s dark hair before pushing himself to his feet.

That seemed to bring Tobio back to himself, and he caught Shoyo’s free hand to press a kiss to it. “Thanks.”

“Of course.” Shoyo brushed those jagged bangs off his forehead with a small smile, then began the walk to the nearby conbini.

He wondered if he would ever get used to seeing Tobio become this solemn. He understood why, of course he did, but it still made his heart ache to see him fall so quiet and distant.

Whether or not he got used to it wasn’t important. All that mattered was that he was able to be there for Tobio, and that he continued to do so, the way Tobio had done for him so many times before.

Shoyo held onto that thought and tried to push down his own melancholy as he threw away the wipes in a trash can on the sidewalk and entered the conbini. He didn’t react to the clear judgment on the face of the high schooler who rang up the lighter, by itself, and took his meager coins. He just offered a smile and “thank you!” before he hurried out and back to the cemetery.

Maybe he should’ve grabbed a milk box along with the lighter. It wouldn’t have saved him any teenage judgment, but it would have cheered Tobio up just a bit on the drive back from the cemetery. The thought was making a small smile curve his lips, when the sound of a low voice speaking brought him up short. The voice was unmistakably Tobio’s, and the sound made Shoyo slow his steps and make them as silent as possible as he carefully crept forward until the low tones turned into words.

“You…you probably forgot about this, but you once told me that if I kept playing, and got really good, someone even better would find me. I always thought that was Oikawa-san or Ushijima-san, but I was wrong.” Tobio fiddled with the empty sake cup. “It’s Shoyo. It’s always been Shoyo.”

Shoyo pressed his lips together to hold back his gasp, but he couldn’t keep his eyes from burning with the threat of tears and his blood from singing through his veins. He’d known about Kazuyo’s influence on Tobio ever since he first met Miwa and she told him that their grandfather had been the one to introduce them both to volleyball.

But silly anecdotes from an older sister were one thing. Nothing could have prepared him to hear about such a touching promise from an old man to his starry-eyed grandson. Hearing that Tobio not only remembered it, but thought that Shoyo was the answer to it…he almost couldn’t breathe from how huge his heart felt.

“I wish you could see him play. He works so hard, and it’s paid off, but that just makes him want to play even more and get even better. He loves volleyball so much, and…and he loves me, too. I dunno how I got so lucky. I wish…I wish you could’ve met him. You would’ve loved him. I’m pretty sure Miwa-neesan likes him better as a little brother than me.” The small laugh coloring his words made a smile pull at Shoyo’s lips, at odds with the silent tears beginning to spill onto his cheeks.

There was a pause, and Shoyo nearly closed the distance between them, only to be brought up short by the sound of a deep, fortifying breath. “I…I’m gonna ask him to marry me. I don’t know when or how or where, but I do know I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I’ve never wanted something this much, except for going to the Olympics. I knew I wanted to keep going and playing on the national team with him, but now I know I want to face everything else with him, too. I already told Nee-san, and she’s thrilled, of course.” His fingers, usually so quick and clever, were now nervously tugging at the blades of grass framing the stone and ripping them to bits. “I know it’s kinda…stupid, saying all this to some stone, but…I dunno. I wanted you to know. And this is the closest I can get to that.”

“Tobi.”

Tobio jumped, and nearly snapped his neck from how quickly he looked over his shoulder. Shoyo didn’t bother hiding that he was crying beyond wiping away his tears and offering a wavering smile. Countless emotions flickered over Tobio’s features, before embarrassment finally settled. “Shit. How…how much did you hear?”

A wet laugh shook out of Shoyo. “I heard enough.” He finally closed the distance between them and settled back down next to him. It took everything in him to not pull Tobio into a deep kiss in the middle of the cemetery, and settle for holding out the lighter. “Here.”

“Thanks.” Tobio’s ears were a bright red, and his eyes dodged Shoyo’s as he took the lighter. Shoyo didn’t mind. He was content to just watch him light the tealight and pour out a cup of sake, and didn’t say anything else beyond offering his respects.

It wasn’t until they began cleaning up after themselves that he murmured, “I’d say yes.”

“Huh?”

“If you asked me to marry you. I’d say yes.”

Tobio’s eyes widened, and his flush spread from his ears to his cheeks in a sweet pink. “Oh. Good.”

“Good.”

They fell back into a companionable silence on their way to Shoyo’s mother’s car. But as soon as they slid into the front seats, just before Shoyo could start the engine, Tobio said in a low voice, “Hey.”

“Hm?” Shoyo looked over just as fingers wrapped into his collar and tugged him across the center console to bring his lips to Tobio’s in a sweet, if a little clumsy, kiss.

“Thank you,” Tobio breathed when they parted, “for everything.”

Shoyo let out a soft hum, meeting Tobio’s gaze with a fond smile. “Of course. Are you doing okay?”

“Mm. Just…I love you a lot.”

That pulled a startled laugh from Shoyo. “Me too, Tobi! I love you so much.”

Tobio stared at him for a moment, before saying in an impossibly soft, vulnerable voice, “And…I meant everything I said. I dunno how much you heard, but whatever it was, it was true. All of it.”

“Even the part of me being ‘someone even better’?” Shoyo had meant for the question to be a little teasing, but the pure love shining from those dark eyes made his smile falter.

“Yeah. Especially that.”

Silence fell over the car as Shoyo gazed back, his hand coming up to cup Tobio’s cheek and trace the soft curve. “You’re mine, Tobi,” he eventually whispered, “you always have been.”

“I know.” Tobio leaned their foreheads together and sucked in a deep breath. “...Let’s go home, Sho.”

With another hum and another kiss, Shoyo pulled away and started the car. And as he drove, he couldn’t stop musing over that word. Home. With all his time moving and building connections across the world, it became impossible to tie the word to any single place.

But maybe, just maybe, home wasn’t a place at all. When he looked over at Tobio and smiled at the sight of him already nodding off, Shoyo realized something with a certainty he hadn’t felt since he first laid eyes on the Little Giant and set his heart on playing volleyball.

As long as Tobio was by his side…he was already home.

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