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collieii · 1 year

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i'm sure it's been said but i do love how trimax handles wolfwoods death. i've seen so many stories that have characters die and they just go away after. i'm really used to stories where the other characters aren't allowed to grieve, the story keeps going and it feels like the other characters aren't really affected or get over it really easily. but in trimax wolfwoods death is so important. we see other characters grieving him. vash protecting the orphanage, expanding his power when he really shouldn't, because it was wolfwood's home, even though wolfwood is already gone. he gets an actual burial. vash and livio eating their way through the grief, which is more comedic but still shows us how important he was to the two of them, sets up how in many ways they're fighting in his memory.

even after he's gone he's still present in the story in such a strong way. we can see how he's affected the other characters, even when they don't explicitly mention him it's obvious that they're thinking about him. what he did when he was alive, and his death itself, are so important to the story even after he's not there. not just in a really abstract "this is someone we lost" way (though there are a lot of times his death and sacrifice motivate vash and livio to fight harder!) he's present in the finale in a material way to livio, who uses his serums to help fight against elendira, which ofc also ties into the way wolfwoods choice to ally with vash and fight against knives gave livio strength to do the same. wolfwood showed him that there are things worth fighting for, things worth protecting. that your body is a weapon, but you can choose what to do with it, use it for something meaningful.

and the way vash kills legato in order to save livio? vash outright says that he did it to protect what wolfwood fought for, sacrificed his life for. it's tied to the ongoing arc between vash and wolfwood, their conflict over the necessity of killing others. wolfwood pushed vash into having an understanding of his views when he was alive, demonstrating the necessity of that violence. simultaneously, vash inspired wolfwood to follow his path, a kinder one. vash remembers what wolfwood said to him, and his death gives those words added poignancy. wolfwood well and truly sacrificed everything to protect what he loved and fight for what he believed in. how can vash let that go to waste? he sacrifices something just as meaningful to himself, and he pulls the trigger. it brings him closer to wolfwood in a way he never was before. he understands now, fundamentally, what motivates people, motivated wolfwood, to act as he did when he took lives. there are so many other ways wolfwood is present in the story after his death i can't talk about all of them but it makes me so crazy

#trigun #trigun maximum #nicholas d. wolfwood #not to say that there aren't lots of stories that handle character death well bc there are!#i am by no means an expert in media but in my experience esp with like #action anime in particular it can be p common for important characters to die and then their death is just not processed at all #i know that stories have to keep things moving but it feels so weird when characters don't grieve or even cry at least a little!#like that was a person that you knew! are you not affected in any way!#it can feel so dehumanizing to me imo when characters bounce back so quickly after someone they knew died like c'mon #at least to me anyways #that's why i love the scene where vash cries after ww dies in 98 too. maybe i just don't consume enough media where characters die #but i was really surprised that they included that! surprised and pleased. it felt like such a human thing for him to do #to try and pretend everything is ok but he just can't ignore the fact that ww is dead and it just hits him #right there in the street in the middle of the day. and there's not anything he can do but cry. ugh #.lieii #trigun analysis #trigun livio #vash the stampede #trigun meta #.lieii txt #honestly i haven't read the finale arc in a while so i don't want to talk too in depth about it #but it is really excellent how present he is. without being present #talking about trimax is so hard bc there's so much. so many themes #me when a story has themes: GRAAH #like every post i make this is rambling and doesn't have much of a point but do you get what i'm saying #come to collieii hq where you get an essay in the post and another much worse essay in the tags #trimax spoilers

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thaliagrayce · 1 year

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y'know what we don't talk about enough? Hazel died. We talk about how she grew up in the 30's and 40's and we talk about how out of place she feels in the modern world, but! She died! She was dead! She has spent more time dead than alive, and not by a close margin!

How does that effect a person??? We got some of it in the flashbacks, but once those caught up with her present timeline and she shared them, they just kind of... disappeared. And she was a regular girl with some weird past experiences. That's one way of doing it, sure!

I think it would have been a lot cooler if she was just a touch creepier. If she felt a little bit Wrong. Yeah, in general she's more approachable than her brother, she's more sociable and less closed off, but. If you actually spend any time with her, it can be difficult to tell which child of the underworld is actually more unsettling.

Hazel is bright of personality and has a dazzling smile, but sometimes she'll just... shut down. She'll go completely blank for like half an hour and nobody knows what to do with it. Sometimes she forgets she's alive. Sometimes she'll spout the grimmest shit you've ever heard like it's nothing, she won't even notice it's weird until the room goes quiet. She spent decades in Asphodel, which is designed to make people forget about themselves and wander around for eternity, only she didn't have the luxury of forgetting! Wild! After she comes back to life, sometimes she forgets that she's allowed to Do Stuff now. She can spend so long sitting and staring at nothing. Sometimes she'll start crying on cloudless days because it hits her again that she can actually feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and she can hear birdsong. Every little mundane experience is a blessing and she will make you remember that in the most foreboding way possible.

#hazel levesque #hoo #mj talks #like. i am fascinated with characters who die and come back different and it JUST hit me that there was so much potential for hazel there #the idea of how death lingers was not explored At All in heroes of olympus #of course there's the obvious part in that there were what. 3 named character deaths total? 4 if you count leo #which i very much don't because it didn't stick! there were no consequences to this gigantic war!#the first series did well with that because we had plenty of named characters who died #even though some of them were introduced only to die like six chapters later. we still knew them on some level #and more importantly percy knew them. he felt their loss in a way that made consequences seem real #heroes of olympus didn't have any of that. hazel could have been a great way to talk about it a little more!#also i just love characters who have obviously gone through death. that has to change a person! tell me how it changed you!#anyway. i think i'll make hazel creepier from now on in my writing #she deserves it <3 #nico is creepy in an obvious way. he's got power over death and that clings to him like a second skin. he can't hide it #and he's learned that he doesn't have to. there is power in being othered #hazel seems lovely when you first meet her! none of the death power all of the glitter and gold and riches #and then she'll look you dead in the eye and say 'you really don't know how lucky you are to be able to breathe until you can't anymore'#and move on like it's nothing! what!#underworld siblings

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eff-plays · 1 year

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I think there are a lot of valid criticisms to make of Garrus as a character (and what I like about his writing the most is that you can actually do this in-game), but when people dislike him because "he's a cop!!", it's so funny to me.

Like yeah ACAB and all, don't fall for copaganda, but like ... You can't seriously dislike Garrus because he's a cop when you're literally playing Military Propaganda: The Game. Garrus expicitly joins you because you have even less oversight than he does. You play not only as a high-ranking Alliance soldier, but you become a Spectre, beyond touch by even the Alliance itself. Garrus joins you because he thinks he can get what you have. Because he thinks you will let him get away with shit he didn't get away with before. And yeah, that's off-putting for sure, but think about it for a moment. What does this say about Shepard's position in this, that he can reasonably believe this, and that you can actually agree with him (if Renegade) without consequence? That you can decide that yes, I will indulge this, and the game just lets you do that and makes it a perfeclty valid approach to being a Spectre.

"Oh but my Shepard is moral and would use her powers for good! She's a Paragon! Garrus is bad because he doesn't believe in regulations!"

Hmm, so you're saying that the problem with this power structure is that there are good cops and bad cops? And not that the whole system is fucked from the start? Hmm ... Seems like you've fallen for some sort of ... proper gander ...

My point is, dislike any character you want. It's perfeclty valid to dislike Garrus, because he's bloodthirsty, at times amoral, a vigilante, thinks he's above the law etc, and yes, those are often the traits of a wannabe bad cop, but to dislike him only because "he's a cop!" while other characters, including your own precious Shepard, get a pass?

Bro, you're playing as military in a game that glorifies violence and ignoring politicians and protocol. A running gag is hanging up on your employers because they're silly little politicians who talk too much and want to hold you accountable. You're basically Cop 2.0. Ultracop. The galaxy's cop mommy.

Put things into perspective and get an actual reason to hate the guy. Because if he's a cop, then what are you?

#this isn't me saying you can't dislike him #or that you can't dislike him for being a cop #but when people are like 'ew he's a cop gross!' and then make cutesy headcanons for their sheps #it's like ... bro ...#seems like you're just parroting shit without understanding why they're bad #mass effect #garrus vakarian #basically if you wanna criticize him for being a cop #you need to criticize the whole game for being what it is #you can't just single him out because he's arguably the most popular character #and you're salty that you don't like him #so you just call him a cop and move on #my most hated cop character is uuh . whatshisnuts #captain bailey .. fuck that dude fr

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dollypopup · 13 days

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hmmmmmm

so, let me get this straight

the polin fandom spent 2 entire years hating on marina for being ooooh so awful and sooooo terrible to colin for lying to him and would 'make him miserable' and despised her for getting in between our otp

but also in the same breath said how much they need to see him suffer and for penelope to 'make him pay' and that he needs to be screaming crying throwing up for her forgiveness and she doesn't NEED to tell him about LW, that's HER business

and now in the exact same breath are hyping up mr. monopoly man debling and saying we need to be positive about him and omg he likes penelope for who she is (he doesn't) and he's going to make colin soooo jealous and . . .loving him. . .for getting in between our otp

hmmmmmmmmmmm

#polin #just say you don't like colin and move on????#twas the night before polin and all through the tags the hypocrisy is ringing and i'm here to slag #colin bridgerton deserves better than this fandom #in here before the season drops and people suddenly act like they've liked him all along #like fuck all y'all #all your hate for marina was never about colin #it was about pen #tired of the pen standom acting like they're the polin fandom #colin bridgerton you have always been my darling angel baby boy #and listen you can hate me for this if you want i do not care but i am here for colin and colin ALONE #also interesting that y'all will sit here and fight tooth and nail over a random white man OC who hasn't even had any airtime #but will literally call marina a 'slut' and use her name as a trigger warning in your fics #it's the racism for me

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taegularities · 8 months

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some men are textbook villains fr

#tw religion?#kinda need to rant.. kinda wanna explain what's going on #some ppl are part of humanity but don't know how to be humane... like the guy i started talking to almost 2 weeks ago #liked him a lot bc he was funny sickeningly sweet mature and understanding.. until he was not #tl dr version is that we somehow drifted to the topic religion and i told him im not too religious and don't believe in superstition much #i was extremely respectful and even when he said that he does believe a lot i was like 'thats cool!! different people believe in different #things!!' and at first it was a normal convo until man went all psycho on me (after one damn week!!!) and started talking about how #id have to be religious in a relationship with him.. my dude i barely know your fav food can we not talk about relationships yet #but he says he doesn't even need a woman who cooks/cleans just someone who believes.. n im like i get it but i can't change myself like that #and then guy moves to marriage and is all 'well my entire family is religious' n my mom and sister (who's 16) would be putting pressure on #you n force you to pray etc.. and I'm like???? who can force anyone to a thing like that are u kidding #things escalate and my absolute STUPID ass tells him about my deepest fkn trauma to explain what made me abandon religion bc #life just never got better and this trauma remained for yrs... and he gets so angry that he says he wants to stop talking to me just to spam #me all day next day.. he'd keep messaging me switching between 'i still want you we shouldn't throw this away i have feelings for you'#AFTER A WEEEEEEKKKK!!! and then goes back to 'i wasted my time with you you were so unnecessary im in a bad mood bc of you'#even said 'you'll never find a guy with a trauma and mindset like this. i will find a religious girl but no one will love you like that'#and the worst thing is that he told his friends and mom about the trauma i had just to spite me.. note that he promised to never tell anyone #(and then still asked for forgiveness and for me to rethink whether we want to end this after telling me 473626x he wanted to end it)#(nothing even ever started you bitchass)#also note that his mom knows my mom n basically most of my relatives.. so i was here trembling for days fearing they'd get to know about it #mom somehow convinced her to not tell anyone bc it's important to me and very very fucking personal..#but he harassed me all day - i wouldn't answer and he'd send 55 messages.. multiple missed calls like dude i got so fkn scared #my heart jumped whenever he texted he was so fkn aggressive and SO MEAN #'you just needed to adjust and we would've been okay' 'tell me are u gonna fkn be religious or not????' 'you ruined everything' kinda mean #i just :') it was the worst time and i don't think i've ever seen someone degrade me so much or make me feel this defective #but.. it's finally over. his mom called my mom and mine was like pls teach him some manners.. n since i couldn't and wouldn't text him back #and literally avoided whatsapp bc of him she ended it all for me and now it's hopefully done forever #anyway i saw jks gcf performance yday n him singing still with you put a genuine smile on my face.. ill stick to THAT boyfriend honestly lol #def gonna delete later #but ty for reading if u did <3

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travalerray · 4 months

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I am going to slap you myself

#WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS #the conversation is flying over both their heads because they are saying entirely different things #wwx: it was such a huge blow to me. Losing my golden core was the stuff of nightmares. I do not want to recall that. I want to move on #what jc hears: Get Lost shidi. I no longer want to see your face #jc: I want to hate you so bad. Why can't I hate you? Haven't you broken my heart enough? Why couldn't you just TELL me anything? Why.#what wwx hears: JC can't deal with the fact that I wwx who did everything terrible am actually responsible for his achievements. His pride #took a huge blow. Damn. Better tell him that I don't actually mind lmao #[grimly said while looking at the wwx papercraft I have hanging on my bedroom wall.]#[actually what many do miss is that deep down there are multiple times WWX actually does understand JC's thing. He understands the pride as #a cultivator. He understands how horrifying the self sacrifice must have been (see: wq and wn). He just doesn't like thinking about it for #very long in this life. Sigh]#mdzs #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #jiang cheng #kk's rambles tag

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worstloki · 8 months

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sigyn that married loki like ages ago so when it comes out he's jotun she's like. 'well it's a bit late to do anything about that'

#''bit sad to find out about this after his death but i suppose i can't blame him for that :/''#''tell me if he ends up not being dead i think we should sit down and talk about this''#''totally not cool so hide something like this. im going to dye my hair black as charcoal and not even tell him''#''lets see how he likes it''#''the royal family sucks btw. it succ real good.''#''how does someone find out they are secretly from a different realm. how wouldn't they know. couldn't he tell?''#''im not saying it's loki's fault but i think it would be less his fault if he was less dramatic about this kind of thing''#''aaannnndd of course he threw himself off the bifrost by the end of it. do you people know nothing about him?''#sigyn just decides loki isn't dead to cope btw #it's like thor except she doesn't get depressed about it #''shouldn't she move out of the palace since her husband died?'' nah sorry no one can stand bringing up the topic #she roasts them about it #like have you no shame #there is not even a body #are you trying to kick her out? don't you know who she married?#''he's dead'' alright believe what you want but odin and frigga haven't said anything so she's sticking around #sigyn like i have more important things to do than worry about this kind of thing. like managing the vanaheim exports #she needs to make her money

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tcfactory · 26 days

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Okay smartass how would you fix Bingqiu if you had your way?

If you actually want to know you could do to be less of a rude little shit about it, anon, but all right.

This is not about 'fixing' anything. Bingqiu is a wildly popular ship and a lot of people enjoy the exact kind of delusional insanity these two have about each other and that's honestly great. Love it for them. Not my cup of tea though.

I think the easiest and fastest way to make them sort their shit out and maybe put them in a position where I might actually be interested in what's going on with them is to take the protagonist halo away. Maybe the System short circuits, maybe it just gets automatically turned off after the extras, don't know don't care.

A lot of Shen Qingqiu's self delusions are fueled by his unshakeable belief that Luo Binghe, being The Protagonist, is Perfectly Fine the way he is. Binghe is the Protagonist, so when there are no character development or obligatory angst events going on he is happy and healthy and a slightly charred good boy and Shen Qingqiu is The Happy Wife who dotes on his hubby and Everything Is Right In The World. Endless honeymoon with their responsibilities only coming to bother them every once in a while. And it makes it way too easy for Binghe to cover up that he's still hurt, still unstable and still insecure by what went down because Shen Qingqiu is willing to take him at face value when he presents his insecurities as just being shameless neediness for his husband. Of course he happily indulges Binghe! But that isn't really helping with the core of the problem now, does it?

Like, Binghe takes steps towards ensuring Shen Qingqiu's mental wellbeing even at the cost of his own as soon as Maigu Ridge is over when he takes him back to the sect. Shen Qingqiu tries too, in his own way (the entire segment in the tombs is all about him putting himself in very real danger for Binghe's sake) but at the same time, this is a guy who completely missed the writing on the wall that Bingge was deeply unhappy in PIDW. As long as he can hold onto his internal picture that The Protagonist Suffered A Lot But He Is Fine Now I don't think he can really offer the right kind of emotional support for Binghe to actually heal from what happened to him and move on to a healthier frame of mind.

If you take the protagonist halo away, then first of all Binghe can, you know, suck a little. Or a lot, actually. The world not making excuses for him and him being a little defanged would be good for him. He gets really nothing he actually wants from being the protagonist - Shen Qingqiu will love him anyway. Mobei-jun will still stick around to back him up and help him out, because he's still Shang Qinghua's favorite fictional son and Qinghua is happy to see Binghe happy, just, you know, somewhere way over there where he can't get jealous tsundere over Cucumber bro and maybe murder him about it. Sha Hualing is still going to be his buddy because he's her best source of human trivia and the writing inspiration for her girlfriend. Not having to be demon emperor and getting more time to spend with his husband would be a relief.

But he would have to be more aware of other people because he's not above them anymore. Maybe even forced to make a few new friends to get by. And his mask will fail and Shen Qingqiu will have to see him for what he is: just Luo Binghe, still hurt and still confused half demon, who loves him very much, but can't make sense of him and is afraid that he will be left behind or pushed away without explanation again and that's kinda Shen Qingqiu's own damn fault.

And Shen Qingqiu can't hold onto his delusions about The Protagonist. He can't willfully ignore that things are not fine with Binghe because he's not the Protagonist anymore and the world only allows that special privilege for the Protagonist. Binghe is just a guy now and he has so many heart demons he needs help with. His trauma from the abyss or Xin Mo can't be brushed off with 'oh that's just part of his blackening he's fine now' anymore. And it might need a little bit of adjusting to internalize that these problems have always been here just below the surface, but Shen Qingqiu genuinely loves Binghe and would want to help him become happier and more stable in any way he can.

Binghe becoming part of the world in a way that's one person among many - building a support network! maybe befriending new demons or actually getting to know and making up with the QJ disciples or finding common ground with LQG and becoming sparring buddies - rather than a protagonist in a sea of NPCs is a lot more interesting to me than whatever he has going on at the end of canon. And Shen Qingqiu can be there with him on that journey, because he already started unlearning the sense of unreality the System conditioned into him, but he still has a long way to go.

#i feel like a lot of very real hurt and mental scarring Binghe suffered just get brushed aside as 'oh it's just part of his blackening'#like the aftereffects of Xin Mo alone would deserve a mention but Binghe Has The Love Of His Life Now So Everything Is Fine #also I think people really undersell how hard SQQ can delude himself when he tries #he already had practice in it convincing himself that he's absolutely het and not even a little gay at all #but then the System really fucked up how he sees the world #made him see things structured completely around the arc of a harem and then romance protagonist #and neither of those frameworks ALLOW him to see how mentally scarred LBH is by everything #like he would occasionally get a moment of 'oh LBH might actually need more friends he looks lonely hanging out with just me and NYY'#but then his idiot reader brain reasserts itself and he convinces himself that it's FINE because the protagonist can't be maladjusted #I joke a lot that Binghe is a red flag and that's Shen Yuan's favorite color #but it's more a case of “you say that it's a red flag but I won't see it because the narrative can't allow it to be red”#Shen Yuan's attachment to the source material and the roles he constructs based on it are actively harming both of them #and I don't feel like it really makes things better that by the end he moved himself from the role of the Villain to the role of the Wife #they are still roles that impact how he interacts with reality n still constrict how well he's able to understand or be understood by Bingh #tl;dr.: Shen Yuan needs to become less of a delulu millennial trashfire bc it's holding both of them back from healing #anyway these are my unfiltered Bingqiu thoughts take it or leave it

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maddy-ferguson · 11 months

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i don't like j0pper either but when people say joyce should've stayed with bob they always lose me because i have a hard time believing she even liked the man

#like hardcore twitter j0ppers have a point i fear she wasn't amused by his antics #and narratively he's very much her el and her steve the normal she can't go back to after the upside down stuff (like him wanting them to #move to maine)#something else about joyce and hopper. when someone said i don't think hopper's homophobic for saying like is he in s1 (i don't think he #would be based on that alone like it's not a convincing argument to me at all) someone else said you're crazy to think joyce would get #with a man who could be homophobic she would never do that to will when like. wasn't murray's whole thing in s3 that joyce didn't #like that hopper was a brute but that she also kinda liked it. now why they would choose to highlight that instead of continuing on the #path of s1-s2 j0pper idk but just. it's funny that they'd immediately go joyce would never do that to will when like. yeah.#i do think bob was the better choice...for will's stepdad lol. for joyce idk.#for jonathan...no idea #and hardcore j0ppers are cute when they say how dare you base your opinion of hopper on s3 that's like three days in his entire life WELL #we only spend one week a year with these characters blame the duffers for giving us this side of hopper and for leaving us with that for 3 #years. but i can also find stuff i don't like about him in other seasons so we're fine #and like i say: brf slt

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thenon-fictiondays · 1 year

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Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 4-1

Chapter 4: Fall.

Part 1

Prev || Next

It might be September by now, but the sun’s rays know no bounds.

Heat from the weather aside, the schoolhouse on the coattails of summer break is permeated with the fervor of the students.

Among all those in the athletic clubs who have undergone away games and training camps, there are many who have deepened both their tans and their virility. The sense of achievement characteristic of those who kept up with their exercise lives within their growth spurts.

Hirano’s roommate is, once again, one of them.

Kagiura, who’s gotten a bit taller, has gotten used to high school, completely devoid of the anxiety he’d seemed to have around the time he’d started school.

Since they’d met up over the summer, he’s become more and more relaxed, and Hirano can’t help but think of him as a beloved younger brother.

Wait, but younger brothers don’t do things like give you earrings, do they?

Hirano isn’t really in a position to judge, with no siblings of his own.

He’d found his original earrings while organizing his luggage after returning from Kagiura’s countryside home. They’d fallen into his school bag and hidden themselves beneath the stiff bottom plate.

What should I do about it? he’d wondered, but figured well, whatever, and didn’t bother switching out his new ones. He’ll keep them in the dorm just in case, but ultimately plans to keep using the ones Kagiura gave him.

As soon as the new term starts, preparations for the Cultural Festival are full speed ahead. Even the first years, who aren’t used to running events without the guidance of a faculty member, are gradually gaining opportunities to build character. The Executive Committee members have so many responsibilities that it has become difficult to carry out their studies without the cooperation of their classmates.

Kagiura also has the situation of being part of the ‘Sports Recommendation Squad’, and his grades are not up to snuff. It would be good if they don’t take a hit from his extracurricular responsibilities, but that will come down to his own efforts.

It’s not just the Executive Committee members who are swamped. The students in the culture clubs are also at their busiest, and with the autumn tournament right around the corner, there’s no way the athletics clubs can cut back on practices.

The sweltering nights have yet to abate; yet despite these conditions which could even be called cruel, most of the students are eagerly awaiting the Cultural Festival. You might even get away with saying all of them.

Because, after all, girls come to visit the cultural festival.

And even without that element, a festival is still a festival.

This is a time when the whole student body is restless, so the Disciplinary Committee will be on top of keeping everyone in line—or such is their public stance, but they won’t be too strict about moderating uniforms and hair styles.

In any case, a high proportion of the students will be in costumes on the day of the festival.

There's also at least one class cross-dressing every year.

This year, that’s right, it's the class that Hirano is unfortunately a part of. More specifically, it's been decided that Hirano will be one of the ones in drag.

Oiwa-san—a famous spirit who makes an appearance in the Yotsuya Kaidan.¹

There are many variations of the famous ghost story, in which Oiwa, the deceased wife, holding a grudge over the betrayal of her husband, Iemon, slaughters every last person involved. Apparently, they will be basing the makeup off of Tōkaidō Yotsuya Kaidan², which is popular among Hirano’s classmates.

He’d been shown reference images of the ghost, her face half disfigured and inflamed by poison, but the picture was nightmare fuel when viewed in the dark.

Supposedly it’s a style of Halloween makeup that’s been popular in recent years, but the trial makeup that had been applied to his arm after school in order to match the shade to his face had been truly grotesque.

This information is to be kept top secret until the last possible minute on the day of, in the interests of building hype.

While Hirano is putting away his homework, the door opens with a click.

His roommate is home.

It’s still bright outside, but the dining hall is just about to open for dinner.

“Hirano-san, I’m home!”

“Welcome home, Kagi-kun.”

These days, Kagiura usually gets a bit bashful in reply to Hirano’s greeting, seemingly tickled. So naive and innocent he must be, making such an expression with no fear of being misunderstood.

There were days they’d spent together, but summer vacation had been long.

There’s an air of a different kind of newness from the one there’d been in the period before they’d gotten used to sharing a dorm—Kagiura probably feels it too. At least, Hirano thinks so.

He feels closer to Kagiura compared to before. After all, he’s met his immediate and extended family, so of course they’d feel more intimate. It’s as if the part of himself that had been on guard while thinking about how to act as a senpai in his second year in the dorms has been absolved.

After Hirano had filled out his print-outs as if in competition with Kagiura, who’d spread out his homework in a frenzy, they’d headed to the dining hall a little later than usual.

It always takes him about 3 or 4 days to get back into the swing of dorm life.

Speaking of which, he thinks.

Before Kagiura moved into the dorms, Hirano had been quite nervous.

He’d talked to Hanzawa about it one time when the Disciplinary Committee had a meeting, and they’d brainstormed strategies to avoid scaring Kagiura off.

He’d also felt it would be a waste of his efforts if he was only friendly at the beginning of their time spent living together; thus, they’d come to the conclusion that it wouldn’t be too far out of Hirano’s depths to give him a nickname and use “-kun”.

Oh yeah, that’s right. At the beginning I called him Kagiura-kun.

He’s been calling his name every day, enough that he’d ended up shortening it, thinking it’s too long and clunky.

Kagiura has morning practice tomorrow, too, so there's no way he can let him oversleep.

Hirano got that, but there was something on his mind that just wouldn’t go away, so he asked before shutting off the lights.

".....Hey, um. I know you're working hard, so I don't wanna rain on your parade, but are your studies going all right? I haven't heard how your proficiency test went yet."

As the words leave his mouth, he thinks, what am I, a private tutor? and laughs drily to himself.

For the results of the test held right after summer break, a list ranking every student in their grade and the standard score were passed out to each person, the same as for the periodic exams.

For first years, they can be used as nothing more than a reference, but due to the breadth of the material covered, in some cases they might be used to determine which schools to apply to when compared to results from previous cram schools.

“...I just barely passed.”

“What’s the damage?”

“The teacher said, ‘You didn’t do badly enough that I need to pull you aside, but keep working hard’...”

“I see.”

Which is bad in and of itself, really.

Kagiura hangs his head dejectedly, and Hirano’s tempted to comfort him all the more for having seen the extent of his efforts, but his lack of preparation is unmistakable.

“Kagi-kun, after the cultural festival is over, you gotta step it up. If you miss some of the notes, get someone to show you theirs before the next day. Don’t let them build up. If you end up with a backlog of notes to take, you’re not gonna be able to understand them.”

Hirano knows deep down he’s probably worrying too much, but he keeps the expression on his face stern. The beginning is the key to everything. Among his classmates in the ‘Sports Recommendation Squad’ who, like Kagiura, are bad students, there are many whose grades plummeted after going on to their second year.

Who knew he’d become this much of a worrywort after becoming someone’s senpai?

“Yeah…Hirano-san, will you teach me again?”

“Sure. But you better bring back good grades.”

“I will! …By the way, can I ask you something?”

He ducks his head as he asks the question, a gesture with all the charm one would expect from someone as cute as him.

“What’s up?”

“When you were a first year, did the senpai you roomed with teach you how to study, too?”

“Nah, no way.”

“Hm…did you not get along?”

“It’s not that we didn’t get along, we just weren’t really that close. I wasn’t nearly as friendly a kouhai as you are.”

This is usually the case for dorm students. Hanzawa, contemptuous of homosexual relations, has a reputation in certain circles for having a finely-tuned gaydar and showing up to cockblock any time he senses anyone getting a little too close.³

His distaste isn’t unwarranted; apparently it has to do with his family, so even Hirano feels bad for him.

“...Does that make me special, then?”

“Why are you so happy about that?”

At Hirano’s jests of what are you, a dog? Kagiura breaks into a grin.

“Yeah. You know, I’m glad I’m your roommate, Hirano-san.”

Hirano smiles wryly; Kagiura’s got him wrapped around his little finger without a hint of insincerity.

With Kagiura cozying up to him like this, he doesn’t stand a chance.

*****

T/N: (1) Not sure I need to add more info on this to the story, but it's pretty interesting, so you can read more about it here.

(2) A movie based on the story made in 1959.

(3) Yall....idek what to say about this. I tried to keep the tone lighthearted but the original text literally says 'gay-hating Hanzawa' and describes his feelings as disgust. Idk why the writer put this but our boy is NOT like that 😭 I actually broke my vow of not looking at the official TL just to see how they handled this bit and they completely watered it down lmao. and tbh, yall know my dedication to accuracy but I WAS TEMPTED. While going back and forth about what I should do, I told my sister about it, and she suggested that Hanzawa doesn't actually hate gays, he just hates gay sex and will stand for none of it in his dorm so...we're going with that interpretation 💀🙃💀🙃

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#you guys can reblog these posts btw <3 #remember likes are great but they don't do anything to spread the posts around!#friendly reminder that tumblr is not ig/tt and we love her for it <3 #re 3rd footnote: im still trying to cope #im really hoping that the 'homophobic' and 'disgust' etc are referring to his reputation rather than his real feelings #tho i'm not sure that's much better 💀#also im sorry but wtf is up with the whole 'its to do with his family so hirano feels bad for him thing'#like??? oh poor you your sibling is gay that must be such a struggle #guess you have the right to hate gay people. ??????#this makes it sound like there was some TRAUMA involved #but it was literally just his brother (and other sibling) saying btw im gay and then they all moved on with their lives??#shoutout to my sister for this slightly inaccurate but much better take #i told her about it and she was like 'nah this mf just repressed as hell 💀'#she does not read ssmy/kghr btw #hirano to kagiura #hirano and kagiura #kagihira #hirano to kagiura light novel #hirano to kagiura translation #harusono shou

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