#just saw that preexisting tag
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i mean who ELSE could eyes like the sky be named after?!?!
#NO context for this one but ifykyk and i just saw the tag 'eyes like the sky' and went on a mental spiral#jensen you CHOSE -#(that was a preexisting tag btw lmfao)
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i saw ur post on how there isnt rlly a big arab figure, and wow like. i think that if i had been younger and saw just one or two arab people on tv in a positive way, it would have helped me a LOT. like yeah. There ISNT a big singer or character or actor or model that’s arab. And now im sitting here wondering how many kids are going to be sitting and watching tv and just blocking out their arab heritage and culture because then they wouldnt be like their favorite singer or wtver.
Exactly. Exactly exactly exactly. I’ve full chest said this before, but I wasn’t always as attached to my Arab heritage as I am now. I actually grew up pretty distant from it all around, and it’s only in recent years that I started making a concerted effort to delve into it. And I can’t even blame it on my mom tbh, like I grew up in a lax household that allowed for ample self-expression. It was always the outside world that would make a little Arab girl like me question the worth of her ethnic roots—especially when Arabs are painted as terrorists at worst and as monocultural heathens at best where I’m from (hint: the USA). There is so much to unpack w being raised American but being ethnically Iraqi!! Because that means I literally hail from two countries!! A country that’s thirsty and a country that’s on fire!! But that’s a whole other loaded topic I could write a separate dissertation on.
I’d always have toxic thought loops like “I don’t look Arab enough” “I’m not religious but all the Arab girls I know are Muslim” on and on and on. And like I said in that ask, there was never an Arab American A lister for me to kind of have a frame of reference w. This is specifically an Arab issue too I feel like, bc a lot of brown people do have that star-studded figure to look up to growing up. We do not.
It’s kind of why I decided to be that for myself. I don’t need a cool Arab girl celebrity who’s into fashion or music. I’ll be that. I don’t need an Arab academia girl character. I’ll be that too. There’s no such thing as not looking Arab enough bc Arabs are so diverse. It’s okay that I’m not religious bc Arab culture is not solely defined by religion, and even if it were Arabs are not a hive mind and everyone engages w their culture in vastly different ways (which is okay!! It doesn’t make me any less Arab). I’ll literally just discard other people’s preconceived notions and trailblaze my own path!! I’ll be my own Arab girl representation. I refuse to fit myself into any preexisting mold. I like what I like and the rest just falls into place.
I think that’s why I’ve been so vocal about my Iraqi heritage lately… I’m literally healing my relationship w my roots in real time. Even advocating for Palestine is feeding into that in major ways. It’s legit all coming together for the first time in my life. Now I’m so proud to be Arab—to be Iraqi—that the idea that anyone could shame me for it is as incredulous as it is hilarious. Iraq is literally called the Cradle of Civilization & you want to make me feel BAD for being Arab… for being Iraqi… it’s just impossible bc I can’t imagine myself being anything else. I’m so content to have my multicultural background and to be who I am. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
It’s also cool that I have people following me, that they could also be exposed to diverse facets of Arab culture bc of that, but tbh a lot of this is also purely for me. I want the Iraq tag to be flooded w beautiful Iraqi poetry and beautiful Iraqi art and beautiful Iraqi cinema as I familiarize myself w Iraqi culture more and more, bc there’s so much more to it than the Iraqi War stats that pop up when you look it up on here.
I’m a 21 year old girl AND I’m Arab. That’s literally double the self-discovery to work through. Fortunately I think I’m finally cultivating a strong sense of self, so I really don’t think anything anyone has to say could deter me from my path (whether it be in terms of reconnecting w the beauty of my Arab heritage or legit just growing into my own). It’s not always perfect by any means, but I’ve made so much headway. And absolutely nothing could take away from that.
#I had a LOT of thoughts on this but thank u for giving me the opportunity to rly unravel this anon <3 <3 <3#I still have a lot of things to go to therapy for lmao but suppressing my Arab roots is absolutely one thing I’ll never have to talk about#the confused Arab girl who was disconnected from her heritage is DEAD give me all the Iraqi history books I want to devour them all#ask#arab tag
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I saw someone make a post, griping about being in a fandom where the juggernaut ship is two adults with a significant age difference, pointing out that when that’s the case, when there’s a canonical age gap, you don’t need to tag “age difference” on every single fic unless it’s actually relevant to the plot of the fic. They seemed to be specifically addressing a subset of fandom who thought that was necessary as a trigger warning, by saying that with a canonical age difference, everyone already knows anyway since they’d know it from the original show/video game/book/whatever; the ship itself is warning enough. Anyway, someone replied to that person saying that actually that is useful for them because they read a lot of fics fandom-blind so they don’t know and they find that kind of stuff upsetting. And I’m just like…….
I don’t really get the phenomenon of reading fanfic “fandom blind” anyway unless it’s like a friend’s fic, but I think if you do that you cannot expect authors to accommodate that. A lot of fanfiction is, after all, transformative and some kind of commentary on the preexisting work, and a lot of the best fanfic requires a lot of knowledge of the original work to fully appreciate it. Those works would be lesser if the authors were overly wrapped up in accommodating “fandom blind” readers. Like, do whatever you want obviously, to each their own it’s just a fun hobby, etc. but the entitlement in “you should tag your fic with me in mind, person who hasn’t watched the show” is mind-boggling to me. It’s like going to see a sequel to a movie and being mad that some plot point didn’t make sense to you because it was drawing on something from the first movie. It’s not the fault of the creator if they made something for a particular audience that doesn’t include you.
--
Also, if I'm catering to most "fandom blind" readers, it's by tagging 'tentacles' or 'sex pollen'.
If you're here for your kinks, I expect you to put on your big kid panties and deal with your squicks.
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Ceasefire [hitman!Felix]
Characters: Felix, older fem!OC, Hyunjin (mentioned), Jeongin (mentioned)
Rating: A/O for Adults Only
Content Warnings/Tags: preexisting polyamory with HyunIn, enemies to lovers, narcotics for pain management, sex while under the influence of narcotics (m), submissive Felix, establishment of safe word, bondage (restrained hands and arms), cunt eating, unprotected penetration, consensual non-consent, raw male orgasm, crying during sex (m), thorough aftercare
Word Count: 5,808
Summary: Tired of fighting, Felix follows through on his promise to lay down arms for good. It wasn't his intention to get quite this vulnerable, though...
Note: This is part of a larger John Wick AU, which can be found here.
Felix spent three long days at the New York Continental Hotel in a painkiller haze. He did little more than eat, sleep, and bathe, which was fine with him. The narcotics even ensured he didn’t dream, which was great for his already heavy conscience. It had been a long time since he’d well and truly rested.
When a knock came at his door on the third day, he hauled himself out of bed, feeling slightly disconnected from his body. The only reason he felt confident in knowing this wasn’t a dream was due to their general absence while he was medicated.
It became a little harder to trust that, though, when he saw Blackbox in his doorway. Thus far, Hyun Jin had been playing errand boy between them; she’d never come to see Felix personally.
“Hitting them a little hard, wouldn’t you say?” she asked, taking in his rumpled appearance as Felix shoved his blond curtain bangs back out of his face. Felix was grateful she spoke in English; he wasn’t sure how well his secondary and tertiary languages would fire right then.
“Just taking the edge off,” he said, his voice a little rough from sleep. His thoughts were ping-ponging between English and Korean, and he was grateful Blackbox was fluent in both in case he couldn’t come up with the right word in one or the other. “Don’t worry, if I was going to get hooked on a substance it would have happened a long time ago.”
“May I come in?” she said. He nodded, moving aside.
“How are you feeling?” she asked, taking a seat on the sofa. Felix shrugged and chose to remain standing.
“I’ve been worse,” he said. “I’m bored, but at least I’m not in agony anymore. I’m grateful for that.”
He couldn’t quite bring himself to thank her directly, but the slight softening in her gaze said she took it that way.
“Well, you’re in luck then, because I’ve come to take you away from purgatory for a bit,” she said. “If you’re feeling up for it, that is.”
“I can barely feel a thing right now, so I can probably handle it,” he said. “Where are we going?”
“The aquarium,” she said. He stared at her, sure he’d misheard.
“The . . . aquarium?” he repeated.
“Mmhmm. It’s about an hour away by train, but I think you’ll like it. I always have,” she said.
Felix blamed the narcotics entirely for his lack of filter when he asked, “Is this a date?”
She laughed. “Please. You haven’t earned that privilege. No, think of this like an interview.”
“Fair enough,” Felix sighed. “Give me a minute, will you?”
She leaned back on the hotel sofa, looking more at home in the room than he’d felt all week. “Take all the time you need.”
As Felix went to brush his teeth, tidy his hair, and change his clothes, he wondered if the reason she had given him the narcotics in the first place was to impair his judgment and make him less dangerous. He didn’t know how to tell her that he didn’t have any fight left in him. She was a smart woman; he supposed she would simply figure it out.
There was no reason for her to take Felix to the aquarium. No reason except she was going to have to talk to him eventually, and she really wanted to go to the aquarium.
The facility was enormous. There was an entire outdoor section that was half garden, half wildlife sanctuary; the aquarium building itself had two floors and exhibits of ridiculous sizes and scales.
The first thing she hauled him to was the petting tank, where smaller sharks and rays swam in an oval-shaped pool for visitors to gently touch.
“Two fingers,” she said, before reaching down to stroke along the back of a passing shark. After pausing to remove the rings from his right hand, one of which she recognized as hers, Felix reached into the pool as well.
“They’re so smooth,” Felix muttered, his voice even and pleasant. It was peculiar to see him in a situation where he passed for a regular person.
“Right? At least, they are when you follow the rules and pet from front to back,” she said, feeling pretty pleasant herself. “I remember being so surprised when I first did this as a kid.”
Felix hummed in acknowledgment, touching a ray next. A smile turned the corners of his lips up. She cursed herself for thinking he was pretty. This man had tried to kill her twice. He didn’t get to be pretty. Then again, he had also written his surrender in his own blood, so maybe he was allowed to be a little pretty.
After they’d gotten their fill and washed their hands, they continued through the aquarium, peering at horseshoe crabs, eels, jellies. Finally, they passed through a few exhibits that grew progressively dimmer and eventually came to the ocean realm theater.
The ocean realm theater was exactly what it sounded like, where instead of a movie screen the tiered seating looked onto a massive pane of glass the size of one. It was just one window into the largest tank in the entire aquarium, holding over seven hundred thousand gallons of water.
“Holy shit,” Felix muttered as they descended the steps to get closer. “How did this not terrify you when you were little?”
She laughed quietly. “Who says it didn’t? I had at least a couple vivid nightmares about the glass breaking and drowning before a shark could even get to me.”
“Gruesome,” he said, shifting his weight uncomfortably.
“Are you feeling okay?” she asked him. “Do you need to sit for a while?”
“That would be nice,” he answered, and they moved back to find a seat while she checked her phone.
“Looks like one of the presentations will be starting in a little bit. We can stay for that, and you can use the time to rest,” she said, glancing at him. Even in the dim lighting, she caught the peculiar look he was giving her.
“You should want to see me suffer,” he said, averting his eyes.
“I have seen you suffer,” she said quietly. “I didn’t enjoy it.”
His gaze shifted back up to meet hers, and his remorse settled in her chest like a physical weight. He’d almost killed her, and she’d grievously wounded him in return. She wouldn’t apologize for it, but she hadn’t liked it, either. His eyes dipped to the floor before he turned his attention back to the tank. A hammerhead shark swam leisurely by.
“I can see why Hyun Jin likes you,” he said softly. “He’s always been attracted to kindness, as though by being near it he might make up for what he lacks. He’s had trouble in the past differentiating between ‘nice’ and ‘kind,’ though. I think he finally got it right with you.”
“I’m not that kind,” she deferred.
“Maybe not,” Felix said, “but you’re fair, and that feels like the same thing in this fucked up world of ours.”
She said nothing to that because there wasn’t anything to say. They let several minutes of silence tick past.
Finally, Felix broke it, his voice softer still, like he wasn’t sure he wanted her to hear. “I feel like you’re going to forgive me before I deserve it.”
She watched his side profile carefully. He gave nothing away, but he wouldn’t look at her. He sounded bone tired, his normally squared shoulders caving a little.
“I’ll try not to,” she said. He bowed his head a little at that. Mercifully, the presenter arrived then and started talking about sharks and sea turtles.
After they finished touring the aquarium, they went back to the Continental, where she offered to treat Felix to dinner.
“You said earlier this wasn’t a date, right?” Felix asked after they had put their orders in. “Or did I hallucinate that?”
“As much as I want to say you hallucinated it simply to fuck with your perception of reality, I’m not feeling particularly cruel today. It’s not a date. But it has been a nice day, and I do feel a little bad about leaving you cooped up in here,” she said.
“I think boredom is the least of the punishments you deserve to give me,” he said.
“You’ve already given me your entire databank and a Marker representing your blood oath to me. I’m not sure there’s much more I could do to punish you short of death or mutilation,” she said.
“Are you feeling terribly macabre today?” he asked in an even tone like they were talking about something trivial, like internet service providers.
“Not really,” she said just as flippantly.
“Then I live to die another day,” he said, sipping water through a straw. He knew better than to mix alcohol and narcotics. He did not know better than to push the limits of this tentative alliance.
“There’s something else that’s been bothering me,” he said after letting the quiet linger for a minute. She looked at him, inquisitive. “The night of the extraction operation, you sucked me off. But I still haven’t returned the favor, and I actually feel really bad about it.”
She laughed, bewildered. “You guys always have that one thing, don’t you?”
Felix stared at her, deeply confused. “What do you mean?”
“Like Hwang’s thing with cheaters. He literally kills people for a living, but he draws the line at infidelity. Then there’s you, who tried to kill me not once but twice, and the thing you feel bad about is being perceived as a selfish lover? It’s madness,” she said.
“To be fair,” Felix said, sobering a little more, “I also feel bad about trying to kill you. Hence the blood oath.”
She watched him closely, probably looking for any sign of deceit. She wouldn’t find any.
“You know I don’t need anything of the sort from you, right? I have two perfectly functional men at home that give great head,” she said.
“Of course I know that. I wouldn’t delude myself into thinking you need anything from me, sexual or otherwise. I just wanted you to know that should you want to even the score, I’m willing,” he said. Her gaze was steel.
“You must realize how suspicious that sounds. The last time you tried to kill me we were literally in bed together. Why would I trust you enough to be vulnerable in front of you ever again?” she demanded.
“Don’t trust me, then,” he said, the easiest answer in the world. “Just cuff me or something.”
He could have sat there and feigned nonchalance, but they both knew he’d had nothing but too much time to think about things over the last several days.
Something in her eyes sharpened, darkened, giving away her interest as she leaned back in her seat. “I’ll think about it,” she said. She then promptly took out her phone and typed for a minute. Probably fielding opinions from Hyun Jin and I.N. Felix didn’t have a full grasp on their exact relationship dynamic, but it made sense to him that they would have full veto power, especially in a situation like this.
Their food came, and Felix focused on that, giving her the mental time and space she deserved.
“If we’re going to be working together for the foreseeable future,” she said eventually, changing the subject, “then we’re going to have to figure out somewhere to put you up other than here.”
“I can talk to Hyun Jin,” Felix said. “He’s probably looking into getting a place around here so he can be closer to you while on this side of the world. Maybe he and I could be roommates again.”
“You two used to live together?” she asked, incredulous. Felix supposed that made sense; when she’d first come into contact with them they’d already been feuding.
“Yeah,” Felix said. “We used to do a lot of things together.”
She hummed in acknowledgment but didn’t pry. Felix appreciated it.
When Felix unlocked the door to his suite and let Blackbox inside, he honestly couldn’t believe it was happening. He closed the door, bolted it, and watched her stride to the bed like this was her room and he was the visitor.
“Do you even have cuffs?” she asked skeptically, perching on the bed and crossing her legs at the knee.
“Not with me,” he said. “I packed light and that was the last thing I thought I was going to need.”
“Oh well,” she said. “We’ll just have to make do.”
“Do you know how to do cuffs with a belt?” he asked her. She snorted.
“Of course I do.”
He unbuckled his belt, crossing the room while pulling it through the loops. He handed it to her, and she looked him up and down for a moment before taking it.
“What’s your safe word?” she asked.
“Ryzen,” he said. She laughed out loud.
“Are you fucking serious?”
“Yeah,” he said, his lips pulling into a grin. “Nothing is more deeply unsexy than mentioning computer parts mid-fuck. It’s literally guaranteed to make it all stop.”
“How often does it make people want to not fuck you in the first place?” she teased, twisting his belt in her hands, forming double-loop cuffs like she’d done it a hundred times before. She had the air of an experienced domme, and she clearly had a lot of sex, so Felix wouldn’t have been surprised if that was the case.
“Most people don’t recognize the name. More people know about the Intel processor line, but not as many are familiar with AMD. Now, if my safe word was Pentium I’d probably get a much stronger reaction. I’m kind of surprised you knew the Ryzen series right off,” he said.
“I know everything. It’s my job,” she said, trying to suppress her grin. “Now stop talking and get naked, you big nerd.”
Maybe he should have felt embarrassed, stripping all the way down while she watched his every move, but this woman had already swallowed his cum once so it felt like a pointless reaction. He dropped his clothes into a pile at the foot of the bed, and when he turned his attention back to her, she was looking him over with a gaze meant to devour.
Peculiar, since tonight was supposed to be the other way around.
She stood up and walked a slow circle around him, surveying him from every angle. Despite his resolution, that kind of attention made his ears flush pink, luckily hidden by his shaggy blond hair. He wondered how he stacked up to Hyun Jin and I.N in her eyes.
Coming to a stop in front of him, she held up the cuffs she’d made from his belt and he obediently slipped his wrists into the loops. She adjusted the fit, testing the band with her finger on each side to make sure it didn’t bite into his skin.
Even so, she still asked, “Is it too tight?”
He shook his head. “No. It feels fine.”
“Good,” she said, and then she started to strip. For what Felix meant to do, she really didn’t need to take off as much as she did. A minute later, the only thing that remained on her body was a black racerback bra that made her cleavage look amazing.
“Fuck,” Felix muttered. As far as torment went, this was a damn good option.
She settled a pillow on the floor next to the bed for his knees, and then glanced at him one more time, taking in his half-hard length in the process.
“You get off on serving?” she asked him.
“I get off on my partner’s happiness,” he amended. The left corner of her mouth picked up at that.
“Come here, Yong Bok.”
He knelt on the pillow.
“When was your last dose of oxy?” she asked him.
“Hours ago, before we left for the aquarium,” he answered, gazing up at her.
“Will you take another half for me now?”
He nodded, not bothering to ask why. If she wanted to put him through his paces, he wouldn’t complain. She plucked the bottle off the nightstand and placed the tiny half-moon on his tongue. He swallowed it.
“Have you ever had sex on narcotics before?” she asked next. He shook his head, unable to take his eyes off her. When he’d said he was surrendering, he’d meant it.
“No,” he said. She chuckled.
“I’ll make sure you have a good experience.”
“I thought this was about you,” he murmured.
“It’ll certainly start that way,” she said, fanning her legs open for him.
He didn’t have to be verbally convinced. An eager throb went through his length as he leaned forward to swipe long licks up her center, acquainting himself with her taste. He made a soft sound of approval. The taste of her heat forced him to recall the taste of her tongue, which made him think of the blowjob she’d given him. His cock twitched up again, the memory of that night (before he’d ruined it) making her taste that much sweeter, his determination to please her that much more intense.
He delved his tongue into her pussy, making her moan sweetly, alternating his efforts between her cunt and her clit, eager to make her unwind. He knew it would take time and considerable effort, but that didn’t deter or intimidate him; if anything, he relished the opportunity to grovel like this. What she’d said earlier had been true—she didn’t need him. So her consenting to be with him at all had to mean something, and he didn’t want to fuck up.
By concentrating on the sounds she made, on the flinching of her thighs, on her fingers in his hair, he quickly learned what she liked and kept the pressure up. It would have been easier if he’d been able to use his hands, but she didn’t want this to be easy on him, and that was just as well. Having to work this hard to please made him all the more desperate to do it, to prove that he could.
When she came, it was extremely obvious. Not only did her sounds completely change, her hips fidgeting against his mouth, but her taste shifted slightly, just enough for him to know what a good job he’d done. He curled his tongue inside her to take what he’d earned, which had the added bonus of stimulating her further, prolonging the orgasm. Finally, she started to taper and he pulled back. His face was damp with her wet, and he didn’t care. He stared up at her, waiting for direction.
She brushed his hair out of his eyes, her gaze doing a slow sweep of him. His darkened eyes, his glistening chin, his bound wrists, and finally his aching erection. Her attention lingered there, her eyebrows rising slightly. He looked down at himself to see what had prompted that reaction, only to flush when he noticed. Not only was his tip leaking pre-cum, but it had drooled so profusely that a little puddle had formed on the pillow below him.
“You want me that badly?” she asked him, her voice so soft, the opposite of what he’d expected. He looked up at her again.
“Yes,” he answered honestly. What point was there in lying when the evidence was so obvious?
“Do you think you deserve it?” she asked next.
“No,” he answered without hesitation. A faint smile ghosted against her lips.
“Good boy,” she said. Crossing her legs at the knee again, she took the tissue box off the nightstand and started cleaning up his face. Felix let his eyes close halfway, enjoying the tender attention.
“How are you feeling?” she asked him.
“Fine,” he said.
“No pain anywhere?”
“No pain,” he confirmed. He felt a little lightheaded, but that had nothing to do with his physical durability.
“Would you like to keep going?”
“Yes,” he said, opening his eyes to meet hers. “Please.”
She stood and disposed of the tissues, then pulled the case off one of the pillows, winding it in her hands until it resembled a rope. “Lie down on the bed, Felix.”
He did as she said, not an ounce of fight in him as she tied his bound wrists to the headboard above him. “You know how to make this all stop,” she reminded as she checked the tightness, ensuring he couldn’t escape. Felix appreciated the check-in.
“I don’t want it to stop,” he said. She toyed with the rose gold band on his right ring finger, her first acknowledgment of him wearing the ring she’d left on his finger the night she’d knocked him out, the night he’d tried to smother her.
“I suppose you wouldn’t,” she said, thoughtful. Then she kissed him, and Felix melted. She pressed her tongue into his mouth, no doubt tasting herself, and he moaned. He was unable to hold still, his hips twitching up, but she was positioned in such a way that he couldn’t rub his cock on any part of her, couldn’t get any friction, any relief.
“Poor baby,” she said, drawing back. The kindness from a few minutes ago was gone; Felix was equally attracted to both halves of her. Pampering or punishment, he didn’t care so long as he had her attention. “If only you could use your cock on something.”
“Please,” he moaned. Her attention was split between his length and his face, his cock twitching whenever she looked at it.
“Please what?” she asked, meeting his eyes.
“Please use me,” he said. “Please treat me like a human dildo. Please use my body to get off. It’s there and ready and begging for you, so please just take it.”
She brushed his hair aside and kissed him again. Then she took her bra off as she straddled his hips. He sighed raggedly, his only regret that he couldn’t touch or taste her tits now that they were free.
“I’m going to hold you to that,” she said, her cunt dangerously close to the head of his cock now. He fidgeted, but she’d accounted for it, staying just barely out of reach. He whined in frustration. “A good toy would stay hard until I’m finished . . . A good toy won’t come in the middle of my fun and ruin it . . . Do you understand?”
“Yes,” he said. “I won’t come without permission. I’ll be good.”
He said it confidently, but with how badly he wanted her, he wasn’t certain it was a promise he could actually keep.
She sank down onto him bit by slick, glorious bit, and both the sight and feeling of it drew a throaty moan out of him. She showed off for him after that, drawing all the way up and sliding all the way down, giving him a flawless view of her cunt swallowing his cock. He was already feeling dizzy, whether from his arousal or the narcotics kicking in or some combination he couldn’t be sure, and he almost couldn’t believe this was actually happening.
His expression must have said as much because she laughed softly. “I hope you’re aware of how lucky you are,” she said. He nodded, managing to rip his gaze away from the place their bodies met long enough to look her in the face.
“I’m well aware,” he said. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”
It was a loaded statement, but a true one. He was acutely aware not only of the pleasure of her on his cock, but of the way she refused to use his torso for support, the way she was doing her best to keep her weight off him, relying wholly on her own strength. After everything he’d put her through, she was trying not to hurt him.
He wasn’t sure how much pain she could have caused him right then anyway, blitzed as he was, but her efforts didn’t go unnoticed. It was consideration he felt he hadn’t earned yet craved all the same.
“Will you kiss me again?” he asked impulsively. She blinked, caught off guard, but leaned over him, moving one hand from where it’d been planted onto the bed to cup the back of his neck and claim his lips with hers. He moaned at that, enveloping her lips as ardently as he could, flirting with the idea of his tongue, surprised when she let him slip it into her mouth. She kept rocking on his cock the entire time.
When they finally broke apart there was spit connecting their lips. Felix felt dazed. She remained leaning over his body, enjoying the angle, continuing to fuck herself back onto him. She didn’t slow down, not a single stutter in her hips, just an onslaught of hard, deep strokes.
With a distant sense of alarm, Felix realized he wasn’t going to be able to take it. Somewhere between the painkillers and the pleasure and his inability to move or get away, his mind and body both felt on the verge of shattering.
And he liked it.
He started to struggle.
“You’re gonna make me come,” he protested, trying to shift his hips to lessen her pressure, but it was no use, not with his arms strung up the way they were. “You told me not to come without permission but you’re going to make me do it anyway, you’re going to force me.”
“Don’t you fucking dare, Felix,” she warned, her eyes sharp on his face, though her voice wasn’t unkind. He trusted her to honor his safe word, but he didn’t want to use it. He liked feeling out of control, fully at the mercy of someone else.
“I’m trying,” he moaned, squeezing his eyes shut. The sensation of her around his cock was intense, addling his already scrambled thoughts. “Fuck I’m trying but I can’t— I can’t—”
“Figure it the fuck out, Felix,” she said, her voice a little harsher now, slipping further into her own role as Felix drowned in his. “I’m not done with you so don’t you dare come inside me.”
Felix wasn’t aware of when he’d started to tear up, but when he opened his eyes to look at her again, they ran down his face unbidden. “Please, I can’t stop it, you have to stop,” he begged. Her expression was unmoved as she gazed down at him, no hesitation in her, forcing his cock as deeply inside her as she could. Her expression repeated what she’d said earlier: You know how to make this all stop.
But he didn’t want it to, and she wouldn’t break the character of the scene by saying it out loud a second time.
“Stop, I’m—”
And that was the end of him. With tears streaming down his face, his eyes rolled back in his skull, his hips twitching up violently against her. The sounds he made were guttural, animal. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d come this hard, his orgasm tearing through his whole body, making him shake. Still she didn’t stop, riding him hard through his orgasm, driving him mad with stimulation. That’s when he heard her whine, coupled with the feeling of her cunt spasming around his cock telling him she’d found her orgasm, too.
But Felix only barely registered any of that. He was too far gone.
She was never going to recover from seeing Felix cry. At first, she thought it was simply because he was a gorgeous crier, but as they came down from their orgasms and he didn’t calm in the slightest, she realized this had to do with a lot more than just sex.
It had happened to her before, where an exceptionally demanding sex session had opened the floodgates for every emotion she’d been keeping inside for weeks or more, bawling her eyes out long after the high had passed. She recognized it in Felix now for what it was.
She pulled off him, both of them dripping, trembling messes, and quickly undid his restraints. She guided his arms back down to their proper position and immediately started rubbing his shoulders and extremities to soothe any stiffness or numbness he may have sustained. Felix couldn’t take his eyes off her while she did it, but he couldn’t pull himself together, either, and that was fine.
“It’s okay, Felix,” she murmured. “You’re all right. You’re safe. I promise you’re safe. Let it out, sweetheart.”
The pet name pulled a different kind of sob from him, and she drew him into her arms, where he promptly buried his face in her neck and cried harder. She ran soothing hands up and down his back, noticing with her touch for the first time the scar along his spine: the old bullet wound that had first devastated him.
“Please don’t make me sleep alone tonight,” he pleaded.
“I won’t,” she said without hesitation. “I would never leave you alone like this. I’m not going anywhere until you’re all right. I promised to take care of you, and I will.”
He nodded against her neck, pressing closer to her until he was basically in her lap. She couldn’t imagine pushing him away, not right now, and she tried not to think about the potentially far-reaching implications of that.
She let one hand play with his hair, murmuring placations to him until he started to calm down.
“We need to clean up now,” she said gently. “Can you handle taking a shower?”
“Not by myself,” he said. God, she hadn’t meant to fracture him so deeply.
“Of course not, lovely. I’ll be right there to help you,” she assured. He nodded and let her escort him to the washroom, but not before she’d grabbed a couple of water bottles from the mini-fridge. He guzzled his while she got the shower going.
Once they were comfortable in the water and steam, she gently took stock of him while she washed his body. She made sure he was clean of sex residue, of course, but looked over his scars and wounds, too. She was pleased to see his forearm healing nicely from where she’d bitten him weeks ago during their first altercation. She lifted his arm and gently kissed both sides of the closed wound.
She didn’t apologize because she wasn’t sorry about defending herself, but she hoped it was clear that she didn’t want to cause him any more pain. He looked at her then like she was the sun after a long night, and she wished he wouldn’t.
“Can I tell you something?” he said softly. He traded place with her, giving her time under the water, and leaned against the tiled shower wall.
“Of course,” she said. He looked at the floor for a moment, like he wasn’t sure if he really wanted to speak at all. She reached to brush his cheek with her fingertips and he looked at her again. “You can tell me.”
“While you were infiltrating Lee Know’s ranks . . . Before you got caught . . . I wished I had gotten to you before Hyun Jin did,” he said. “During the extraction op, while we were on watch together . . . I never should have tried to hurt you. Not just because it was wrong, but because I liked you . . . I felt twice as upset because I liked you. I liked you, and Hyun Jin replaced me with you and I.N, and I didn’t know how to handle it, so I tried to shut my brain off and just follow orders. But I’m happy you stopped me. I’m happy Hyun Jin has you. And I’m happy for whatever time I’m able to be near you both, in whatever role you need me to play. It doesn’t matter to me. I just . . . I don’t want to be alone again.”
It was so much more than she expected, so much more than she felt equipped to handle. So instead she moved closer to him and gently kissed his forehead, his starry cheeks, his lips.
“We’ll figure it out,” she said, because it was the only thing she knew for sure. “We’re in this together now . . . I don’t want to hurt you anymore, and I don’t think you want to hurt me, either.”
“I don’t,” he confirmed, and he looked so earnest, so remorseful, that it almost thawed her heart. “You don’t know how relieved I am that I didn’t succeed . . . I’ve never been so happy to fail at something in my entire life.”
She smiled, chuckling a little. “That makes two of us,” she said, as though she wasn’t joking about her life itself.
When they got out of the shower, she helped Felix dry off, relieved that he seemed to be coming back to himself. They got dressed and she ordered food up to his suite, and they ate sitting atop the bed (minus the topmost blanket, which was basically ruined).
“I’m feeling a lot better now,” Felix said as they finished up their meal. “You don’t have to stay with me if you don’t want to.”
“I said I would stay, so I’ll stay,” she said. “Unless you really want me to go, that is. I’ll respect your wishes either way.”
“I don’t want to sleep alone,” he reiterated. The way he looked at her was so vulnerable, and she got the idea she could have tried to stab him with her fork and he wouldn’t have put much effort into fighting her off.
“Then I’ll stay.”
After letting Jeong In and Hyun Jin know she wouldn’t be coming home that night and why (which Jeong In seemed deeply uncertain about), she quickly discovered Felix liked to cuddle. Once they were under the sheets, he wanted to be as close to her as possible. Maybe he hadn’t fully recovered, after all. Or maybe this was just the way he truly was underneath his killer’s veneer.
“Is this okay?” he asked her. They were curled close together, face to face, with their legs tangled and Felix’s head resting on her arm. Her free hand trailed gingerly along his bare side, and he shivered a little, his eyes looking abruptly shy.
“It’s okay,” she confirmed. “As long as it doesn’t aggravate your back.”
“It’s fine,” he assured. “I’d tell you if it wasn’t.”
“Wake me if you need anything,” she said. He nodded, before shifting his body a little so he could tuck his head under her chin.
“Good night,” he said, his breath warm against her sternum, “and thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it,” she murmured, fighting the desire to bury her nose in his hair.
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god wow that ai post really WAS that bad. and from such a promising artist too!! And while I can somewhat see the point of originality cause fanart is based off preexisting stuff, trying to say someone's fanart isn't someone's own true art is so fucking stupid. Like I'm so serious that's so godamn stupid. Inspiration is an inherit human thing! Ofc every piece of media ever is inspired by something, even old shit like superman, dragonball and mario! Acting like that doesn't mean it's someone's "true art" is so arrogant and dumb, especially when trying to make the case that ai isn't bad.
wow it's been a while since a post annoyed me that bad but seriously ai has been the enemy for writers, voice/live-action actors, and artists for months! How is the point missed that badly!
YEAH RIGHT???? like uhhh inspiration comes free with your fucking creativity!! ai has none of that, just algorithms.
Tracing isn't even like ai either, it's practice- knowing how shapes work, and with enough of it, can influence a style... or can simply help inform you how to change it up! Which AI inherently can't do on it's own. It's aggregate date things.
And I'm also tired of ai defenders saying it frees things up for disabled people to make art. Which is wrong! They can always make some type of art without the use of complicated stealing ai which scours places for data sets to smash into itself.
Art can be anything. AI maybe could've been handy- a system to see something similar about your own art, a system that provides something you want to put your own spin on
But no. AI is stealing, and AI is being used to PUT ARTISTS OUT OF JOBS COMPLETELY. I saw a post that claimed that there's been scares like this before, but none of the technology before then just outright made """"new"""" looking art...
We don't need copyright protection, we need restrictions on those AI systems. And if they want to work on making AI better after we make sure employers, uh, Don't? Try to replace artists with things that can make """new""" art, then I think that's fine.
Not to go even further on a tangent but uhhh you know the gay sex cat picture that was ai created and the creator made a bit of a point about which I forgot because once others figured out it was ai generated I deleted and ignored?
Well I was just thinking about that and it's like. If it weren't for the fact that AI has been just rampantly stealing from artists, it would've been a pretty funny post. It's fuckin gay sex cats. But because of the AI thing, we tossed it.
'Stop training the system that will only be used to further devalue artists' kinda thing.
Remember right when the thing started, where there wasn't much data and it was just kinda freaky? People used that for inspiration. That's not stealing, that's exercising creativity, and I just. Ughh.
Thanks for ranting and enabling this rant now uhhh I'm not tagging this except for long post.
#long post#if this gets outside my circle im killing people but im making it rebloggable for my mutuals
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not an ask you need to publish, just wanted to say thank you for your effort to educate people and convince them to be more careful, mask up, etc. it's disheartening to hardly see anyone else still making an effort, to not being able to participate in most social events, to see how the system fails to properly assess this threat and educate. and i'm lucky! my whole family is equally careful (always has been), my boyfriend tests himself for me, my long covid symptoms are mostly gone and i don't have any (severe) preexisting conditions. which makes it worse because it . i know i'm doing the right thing but it feels like it hardly matters. i don't remember the last time i saw someone wearing a mask (i live in germany). just feels good to see you and the people in your submissions doing the same things i do, feels like i'm not alone. thank you and i wish you all the best.
🥺
Thank you so much for letting me know this! I really appreciate the acknowledgement & I'm really glad that this blog is allowing you and others to feel supported and less alone! That's what I hoped it would do for other covid conscious folks, so this is heartwarming & affirming news!
I really, really, reeeally understand how disheartening & alienating it feels to be in public when so many other people not masking. For me, it literally feels like I'm living in a completely different world than everyone else.
As someone who uses Tumblr a lot & has seen Tumblr as a safe space to talk about serious subjects for years, I needed confirmation that there were other Tumblr folks out there that still took covid seriously. This was especially because so many people I've been following weren't/aren't reblogging covid awareness posts the same way they'd reblog awareness posts for any other serious subject. It was genuinely starting to feel isolating and depressing to be screaming from the hilltops on my main blog about the dangers & seriousness of covid just for so many mutuals to not interact with those posts for one reason or another. Maybe they just didn't see the posts on their dashboard because of the timing. Maybe they have the tag blocked because the trauma from this pandemic triggers them. I don't know. I just knew that I really needed to feel some type of solidarity and community because I really couldn't/can't take the loneliness anymore.
So again, thank you for letting me know this, I really needed to hear that confirmation that this space is doing something good for other people! I appreciate that other people feel safe enough to share their stories & reasons for masking as well as open up about how this pandemic has impacted their life.
I wish all the best for you too 💛
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saw this 1 tag on 1 of my sprite edit posts and!! *grabs large list* hoh boy let me tell yall about vampire noise!! I WILL be annoying about this :) (sorry in advance)
This is Vampire Noise! He's a skin for The Noise in the Bring Your Own Class Doom 2 mod, I am not quite exactly sure when he was added in but I have to assume in a Halloween event? The purple color is the color I canonize him with since his original sprite is green along with all the other player sprites in the mod since green is used to easily recolor other sprites in game! (I hope I explained that well, there are other videos online that explain this better tho!!)
Sure he's a skin for Noise but he has different characteristics that differentiate him from Noise!!
When he dies, he turns into a tiny bat form where when Noise dies in the Doom 2 mod he just...
he splat
2. He always has red eyes where Noise only has red eyes when he's angry.
3. Despite being a skin for The Noise, Vamp Noise has a few exclusive hurt sprites for some reason?? Those being these three:
The sign hurt sprite doesn't count as being an exclusive hurt sprite since it's basically just an edit of a preexisting hurt sprite that Noise has.
4. While regular Noise uses a skateboard, Vampire Noise instead just floats around like this!
Though as far as I'm aware, he shares the same projectile sprites with regular Noise which is a bit confusing to me? But then again I haven't played the Doom 2 mod yet cuz I've been busy working on other things oops
Also like... I'm sooooo normal about him (lying)
I will spread the word about Vampire Noise's existence as much as I can even though he technically isn't canon in like... The actual game itself... But to me he IS CANON!! 😭
Sorry for the rambling my brain activated something in me when I saw the tag uhhh
Here's this 1 sprite of the playable Stupid Rat from the Doom 2 mod for your troubles thank you and have a nice day or night!!
#pizza tower#vampire noise#the noise#THIS IS THE MOST I'VE EVER TALKED ON TUMBLR I'M SORRY#i didnt think id post anything today tbh but here we are
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saw ur tags on that recent tina and forever art, and just wanted to say as a person on the more reasonable side of that community A) im sorry that happened but B) sunshine duo is already an established name for tina and george, it was a name they picked themselves during a game of uno where there were suns on both their cards. i realize you probably arent gonna care, but it would be really appreciated if you could be a little more respectful of preexisting fan spaces, even if you dont like us lmao
hello
sadly i dont respect duo names that involve a mysoginiatic xenophobic white man:/ hope that clears things up!!!!
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little angel
Moodboard made by me and AO3 link here
Pairings: Peter Parker x Tony Stark
Pairings: Tony Stark x Peter Parker
Tags: Omegaverse, age play
Warnings: Underaged sex
Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
Tony’s scent patch came in the next morning, just in time for his scheduled breeding simulation. It meant that instead of being led to his normal group by Nurse Rumlow, he was taken to a far smaller room that only had one bench by Nurse Melinda.
He was set up on the machine with his right hand free. The nurse gently pressed a thick piece of fabric into it and left him home without further instruction.
Under the heady scent of alpha cum it smelled like gunpowder with whiskey and a hint of cigarette smoke, a scent that he saw himself becoming addicted to.
Dr. Phil hadn’t warned him that this was the compatibility test.
Peter came twice with the machine at its lowest setting.
~~~~
The food on his plate looked like shit.
Naturally, he ate the meatballs and drank his apple juice before he hid the peas in the remains of the spaghetti.
The girl sitting next to him gave him an odd look but didn’t snitch.
He got the warm bottle of strawberry milk he’d been aiming for and drank it throughout group therapy.
His day passed, almost identical to all of the others.
The following day he had a one on one meeting with Dr. Phil instead of a group meeting.
“Now,” he started after they’d said their hellos, “your first introduction to Mr. Stark’s scent went fairly well, as did his to yours. You’ll be given another scent patch during quiet time and not allowed to touch yourself tonight. Depending on how that goes we’ll either do another scent-based test or go straight to introductions the day after tomorrow.”
Peter opened his mouth to respond, pacifier falling into his lap.
That was pretty fast.
“I understand it’s fast,” Dr. Phil started before he launched himself into a speech about how their instincts and hormones were already jumpstarted. On top of his preexisting issues with hormone stability and what he’d been told was a ‘lack of omega-appropriate responses to stimuli,’ he was essentially fucked.
It was also likely that the alpha had offered a donation to the facility in exchange for getting Peter earlier.
He was more interested in how his spider’s left foreleg was going flat at the end. Maybe he’d been pinching it too much. Peter’s eyes started scanning the room in search of something interesting that could help him tune out the doctor’s voice.
On the corner of Phil’s desk, he could see a small plate of cookies that someone must have bought in.
Decision made, Peter looked back at Phil. The two of them were on the couch again, so he’d have to reach around Dr. Phil to get to the cookies and the alpha wouldn’t stop talking.
Peter tore his eyes from the cookies, but nothing else of interest was in the room. He popped his pacifier back in with a sigh.
Eventually, the meeting came to a close and Dr. Phil passed him one of the cookies he was eyeing with a smile.
A nurse he didn’t know the name of took him back to his room and waited for him to get comfortable in his bed before passing him another scent patch.
This one lacked the smell of sex on it that had saturated the first one, and didn’t have a potent emotion attached to it.
If possible, he found it affected him more. He felt himself rocking down on the bed, in search of friction that wasn’t there.
No one was in the room with him, but there was a blinking red light in the corner of the ceiling that told him the cameras were on.
Would they send the footage to Tony?
Were they even allowed to do that without explicitly asking him first?
Part of him wished that they would, and he hoped that wherever Tony was he was exploring Peter’s scent in this way too.
Sex would be an important part of their relationship, but he hoped the alpha would want to cuddle, the same way part of him did now.
Well-
The same way everything aside from his cunt and cock did.
Without meaning to, he whimpered into his pacifier as he pressed himself into the bed.
Deciding that this wouldn’t end well, Peter laid down and pulled his blanket over his head. Scent patch in one hand and spider in the other, he hoped that no one would come into the room and interrupt him.
Closing his eyes, he bought the scent patch closer to his face and inhaled as deep as he could.
He didn’t fall asleep, but the warmth of the space combined with the alpha’s heady scent was enough to nearly get him there.
If it hadn’t been for Nurse Melinda coming in to gently tug away his blanket he’d probably have fallen asleep.
She was always gentle when doing his checks, but he couldn’t help but whine when she completely pulled the blanket away.
The beta made a hmm sound, “Were you trying to nest Peter? All from Mr. Stark’s scent?”
Peter’s cheeks burned with a blush and he hid his face in his spider. Only mated omegas nested, and Peter wasn’t even sure that he and Tony were getting mated yet.
“Don’t be silly.”
“I’m the silly one? Peter, you know your instincts’ve kicked in. It’s a good sign that you wanted to feel safe with his scent.” She patted his thigh, and he only kicked a bit to show his discontent when she put his underwear in a plastic Biohazard bag. In the crotch were two distinct wet spots.
Peter tucked his face back into his spider and didn’t say a word.
No one at the facility would ever make fun of him, but it still felt strange. He’d always been a bit repressed when it came to his instincts and sexuality. Suppressants were his default, and they’d nearly wiped out his sex drive.
Relying on them as heavily as he did at the start of puberty had also killed a lot of his instincts. So, whereas a lot of his peers were already used to everything he was just getting acquainted with it all.
It was odd – but nice at the same time. He got to be little all the time, didn’t have to worry about money anymore, and when he wanted to act out a bit it was accepted. He always got punished for it, but it wasn’t like Aunt May’s disappointed glare or their weekly screaming matches before she surrendered him to the hospital.
He’d kind of gotten used to life at the facility though, so was anxious for what was to come. He wouldn’t be able to run outside as much, but Tony’s house was apparently huge, and they probably had a nice yard or pool.
Maybe he could convince him to get one of those backyard slide things with a swingset. Or even just a swing set.
They’d been his favorite since the first time he was little, and he sought them out every day after therapy if it wasn’t a pool day.
“Hey, Peter’s not giving me a turn,” someone shouted. Peter slid a finger into the hoop on his pacifier to stick his tongue out at the girl. Had one of the workers not started toward him, he’d have stood on the swing.
As it was, he gave the girl a rude gesture when none of the staff members were looking.
~~~~
“Do you usually play with the legos, Peter?” He nodded, not yet making eye contact with the alpha. He hadn’t been told that they’d be meeting today until he was taken to a small playroom rather than his group therapy session. It wasn’t expected at all and had thrown him stupidly off-kilter, but he made himself deal with it for the time being.
So far, they hadn’t spoken much. Things were a little awkward at the start, but he’d taken out the legos and they’d both started building separately.
Tony was unfairly attractive – broad muscles poorly concealed under a carefully pressed suit, dark brown hair combed to perfection, and a beard that he wanted to feel scratching against him.
Or maybe not, it looked kind of itchy.
He had nice, long fingers though, rough from manual work and neatly trimmed nails that looked well taken care of.
He shouldn’t have found the alpha’s hands hot, he couldn’t help but want to feel those fingers stretching him open and–
“I like to build spaceships with them.” Tony placed another block onto his own project. From his spot across the little table, he couldn’t yet tell what it was but it looked like he was trying to build some type of car.
Peter’s spaceship was prettier, but he wouldn’t be opposed to them working on something together when he was done with it.
“I haven’t played with legos in a while, but they’re some of my favorites.”
Peter smiled, remembering his thoughts from the other day. Maybe saying it would get him to buy him some. It wasn’t like being a mob boss’s omega little would involve going out much. Even if it did, Tony didn’t look too stern.
“I like the playground and swimming too.” The alpha laughed softly and put a few more blocks on his car, “The whole playground or just the slide? Because surely you don’t like swings right?”
He let his pacifier fall to the table so he could speak better and shot a dry look at the older man, “You’re silly Mr. Tony. The swings are the best part.”
“Really? I think the slide is better. You get to go down super fast.”
“Well yeah, but with the swings, it’s almost like you’re flying!” The pitch of his voice rose as he explained to Tony how superior the swings were.
He didn’t know how long they had left together, but it seemed like no time at all. They spoke about Star Wars, different kinds of legos, and some of the friends Peter made at the facility.
He didn’t mention his time before, or his old friends, and Tony didn’t bring it up.
The first real whiff of Tony’s scent that he got was when they hugged goodbye under Nurse Maria’s watchful gaze.
It was like being hit by a freight train.
This close he could smell Tony’s gunpowder and whiskey scent with an underlying headiness that came from low-lying arousal. He pressed his nose further into the collar of the alpha’s button-down and made sure to rub the inside of his wrists against the alpha’s side to mark him.
It was definitely improper, and probably against the rules to do so this soon after meeting each other.
The thought of the alpha walking around smelling like him – even a little bit – made him smile for the rest of the day.
Still, he found that he didn’t want to let go. He felt safe in this strange alpha’s arms and had the urge to cuddle up under his blanket with the scent like he’d done earlier. Maybe he could even bring more pillows in, or he could get Tony to scent his little spider without anyone noticing.
Decision made, he grabbed the toy from the edge of the table and pressed it between them.
Behind them, the nurse made a polite not-cough, so Tony started to pull away.
Peter was a little reluctant to do the same but made sure to swipe his little spider against the inside of the alpha’s wrist and quickly steal his scent.
“I’d have done it if you’d asked,” Tony murmured into his ear.
“I don’t think it’s allowed,” he said, quiet as possible.
Tony firmly rubbed the inside of his wrist against his spider’s torso and winked.
“Some rules are meant to be broken.”
Peter watched his back as he turned away, nose pressed firmly into his spider. The scent wasn’t as pure as it’d been on the patches, but it was even better because he’d get to cuddle with it at night.
#nff#starker#nff starker#omegaverse#tony stark#peter parker#avengers#marvel#spiderman#iron man#little angel#belle writes
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just needed to say but its 100% ok to write characters out-of-character.
if you craft a version of a character that is completely different from the canon character its not necessarily bad writing and that fact alone doesn't make you a bad writer in any capacity.
its ok to use a preexisting character as a starting place to write your own characters even if you're not changing names or changing a lot about them. I've read and adored a bunch of fics where the characters are definitely not like they are in canon and if i saw that version of the character in the show id be so confused. but I'm decidedly not watching the show, im reading your fic and im completely immersed in your version of the character.
using characters as a vessel to make your own story based on your own experiences is not in any way inferior to writing fix-its of canon or adhering exclusively to canon characterizations. not everyone will enjoy it or read it because no tropes or ways of writing will appeal to everyone, but there will always be someone that enjoys your work and appreciates what you do.
writing is fucking difficult no matter which angle you choose to take. and theres no trope or plot or personal experience that you can't write for any character because there are no laws of writing that say you have to stick to your source material.
its still a good idea to tag if you're characters don't adhere to canon characterizations just because like any trope your reader wants to be able to know what they'll be reading beforehand (and it'll help clarify that the mischaracterization is not an accident you forgot to edit but just how you chose to write this character)
basically your writings are still good and valid even if it wouldn't happen in the show. in some cases "they wouldn't do that in the show" is a damn compliment.
#i wrote this with steddie in mind but it applies to most anything methinks#because i canon characterization for steve and fanon don't always line up but that's not a problem#i love that we like exploring different possibilities for his character from what his parents are like to his relationship with the party#and this applies to smut too it doesnt fucking matter how you wanna write it cause we havent seen them have gay sax so its not like we know#and even if we did it doesn't matter! write them however you want dammit#and especially when writing about serious stuff like if you're projecting your experience with eds or chronic pain or abuse or depression#onto a character who doesn't explicitly have that experience#sharing your experience realistically does more good for you and the readers than trying to make the character canon-compliant#and not to say everyone has to like the thongs you write. no writing will make everyone happy. even the most critical acclaimed works dont#make everyone happy (there are people who don't like arcane for crying out loud and thats the most exceptional/adored show I've ever seen)#steddie tumblr#because those are the only fic i read these days#and we have a lot of different popular tropes that aren't canon compliant and i want you guys to know you're epic and cool#fic writing#writing rambles#writing rant#writing positivity#devon thinks sometimes
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Let me preface this by saying I just saw black panther 2 the Monday after thanksgiving. Usually we see all marvel movies opening night but I didn’t have the money to take my sister and our friend so we waited. I watched the trailers, thought I knew what was happening. I had heard that the villain was hot but from the trailers I don’t remember finding anyone super hot. So let me tell you what a surprise it was for me to walk in unprepared.
I’m only gonna say this ONCE. The power Namor has over me and my obsessions is ridiculous. First of all I should be stronger than this and second of all I am NOT apparently NOT stronger than this. Never before has the fluff tag had me in a chokehold UNTIL THIS MAN resurfaced from the water. Have I written any stories? What noooo (yes I have I’ve written four already) and you know what I’m not even mad.
Namor is the most beautiful hunk I’ve seen in my entire life and I am dying for more fluff. More tropes. More x readers more text post memes. I want more of him on my timeline in my LIFE. On a side note the water queen by tacotime on archive of our own has me also in a choke hold. It’s Shuri and Namor and typically I don’t read fanfics like that with preexisting characters as the main characters (because I’m selfish and I wanna imagine myself in the story) but IT IS THE MOST BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN STORY IVE READ IN A LONG TIME. And I’m from the era of 2016 WATTPAD where in the marvel stories Clint hid in the vents and Thor would fight anyone for the last pop tart. Which in my opinion is the best era of fanfiction. So when I say run to archive of our own I MEAN RUN.
Anyways uh black panther was like 10/10 totally recommend great movie. And other than Namor who totally ruined me I love how we unpacked apart of Shuri I didn’t know I needed. Beautifully done.
#black panther#black panther wakanda forever#wakanda forever#namor#black panther shuri#black panther namor#namor fluff#marvel#mcu#namor marvel#black panther 2#wakanda
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I was scrolling through the tags on the post about Drusilla knowing Spike was in love with Buffy in FFL when I saw yours about why you thought it didn’t work. Could you go into more detail about why you think it’s nonsensical? I don’t necessarily disagree, because I always found the scene to be tacky, but I’d like to hear your thoughts.
This might be swinging the bat at the hornets nest but the Drusilla scene in FFL conflicts with the preexisting knowledge we have regarding Spike and Dru breaking up in Lover's Walk. In Lover's Walk Spike is in a state where he's super drunk and just over sharing, if Dru left him for the reasons shown in FFL, and that conversation happened, then we would have already found out about it in Lover's Walk.
Thus this Convo in FFL feels very off to me, but I think calling it nonsensical was harsh. Rewatching Season Two with a friend is reminding me that the buffyverse has so many continuity errors and getting upset at violations of continuity means writing off large sections of the show (Angel is said to be Spike's sire in School Hard for instance).
And I think you could argue that FFL doesn't work nearly as well without this scene. It's this episode that repositions and recontextualizes spike having killed two slayers as a sort of psychosexual obsession, and the way that this scene with Dru mirrors the Oz and Tara hallway scene in New Moon Rising, while probably not intentional, along with the whole scene where Spike and Dru use Slayer blood to get aroused, help reinforce this recontextualization.
So since I doubt that pointing out the continuity error would make the writer change the themes of the episode, saying "take it out of the episode" in my opinion is not necessarily the right fix, because there needs to be some way to tie the obsession to Buffy specifically, but I would have preferred something that didn't feel so jarring.
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I just binge-read all of your epileptic Jesse posts and. God this is such good writing and you draw some really clever comparisons?? It dovetails so nicely with the characters and the world, headcanon accepted. Also really nice to see other disabled people zapping characters with the disability beam
thank you so much!! i saw all your tags and really really appreciated them, it always blows my mind when people like actually read and enjoy my au posts when it is meant to pander to me exclusively. i of course love to integrate my experiences with disability into media i love (and zapping characters with my disability beam) but i specifically really enjoy finding ways to weave disability narratives and themes into the preexisting stories and character interactions in such a way to preserve the narrative and strengthen rather than distract from its objective. people who remember my partially deaf jeremy au era know that im like really fixated on finding ways to bolster an already existing story with detailed, textured disability experiences, so its really really touching to hear things like this :') thank u for taking the time to send this!!
#grunkledore#syd squeaks#ask#I like when 'headcanons' or 'au's' add texture and dimension to already established characters and traits#and the chance to blast my favorite blorbos with my disability beam....
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Stepping towards her older sister the younger of the Niijima's cleared her throat softly holding a small box out for Sae. "Merry Christmas, Sis." She'd seen how her older sister had kept stopping and glancing at these heels whenever they were out and was glad they were still in stock when she went and done her shopping.
They were just the right balance between looking fashionable and professional and could see why her older sister would want them.
Christmas meant many things to people. A time for relaxation away from life's stresses, coming together with close and distant family to celebrate their joys, or even enjoying the festivities by themselves. Some never saw the holiday in a good light. For others, it only brought painful memories or preexisting trauma. Some experienced a deep loneliness during these times, simply watching everyone around them experience the so-called 'magic of Christmas' while they remained in the dark.
Christmas was supposed to bring its own sense of warmth upon everyone, a comforting and reassuring embrace that whisked them away from their troubles. Just for a day. Yet, that magic didn't work all too often. Not in recent years...
Sae never believed in that nonsense. Not now, not growing up, not even when their father was still alive. He tried so hard to keep up the whole 'Santa is real' act, especially for Makoto's sake, but Sae saw through his façade. It was all fake. At least he always brought a gift for them both. The one saving grace. Once he left, most holidays meant nothing but time off either away from school or away from the office. No celebrations, no gift exchanges, nothing but sharing dinner together.
As years pass, situations change. Some worse, some better. Remarkably, the former prosecutor managed to take time off over the week instead of having the single holiday out of the office. So much spare time proved to be rather overwhelming for someone whom always kept moving. It was a first of many for Sae, one being proper time spent at home. She took this chance to stock up on their groceries, letting Makoto know to come home once school ended.
This time, dinner was on her.
"Welcome home, Makoto." Sae greeted her younger sister as she arrived, taking note of the rectangular box in her hands. A present, no doubt. She kept silent while removing the colored wrapping, setting it on the coffee table out of their way. A shoe box, holding a pair of black designer heels. The name brand and company label were recognizable, but how did Makoto afford them? Their price tag wasn't a pretty sight, despite the slicks and simple appearance of the product. Questioning Makoto's reasons and resources, though, would not be appropriate for this particular occasion.
They've only began mending their relationship. The kind gesture was a step forward in those regards. Which meant, Sae allowed this pass. But only once.
"I'm surprised you went back there to buy them. I thought they would have been sold out at this time, all things considered." Makoto got lucky. Not many had the chance of obtaining these valuables so close to Christmas. "Thank you. In return, I...decided I would make dinner tonight. You can join me once you put your stuff away."
She could do more. She could do better than this.
"...and...perhaps...we can talk about...going out tomorrow. You and me." Just as sisters.
#ic#Sae#nijimx#A Change in Procedures - Post P5R Verse#long post#((this was longer than I thought but I always love me some sister bonding#AND THEY NEED IT BADLY!!))
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i ordinarily do not make “discourse” posts or anything related to dream on here at all since i stopped posting dsmp but i feel the need to express my disgust with him and the defence he’s getting. having spent the last couple of days talking to many former dream fans who now feel even more unsafe in the community because of all of this, i can’t in good conscience not speak out for my friends. (note: this is not actually discourse, hence the quotation marks. this is a discussion of racism and other issues.)
you are allowed to criticise content creators. yes, don’t be an idiot who spends all their time looking for things to get mad about, or post mindless hate at all really because that’s lame, but it should not be a “natural consequence” to expect harassment for disliking a creator. that is an incredibly incredibly dangerous and irresponsible narrative to be spreading, especially for someone who is the current most popular minecraft youtuber whose fandom has a reputation both in and out of mcyt circles for being notably toxic.
doxxing is a big deal. it is natural to be afraid of it, and realistically, you should worry about it if it happens to you, no matter your follower count. even if nobody physically shows up at your house, that doesn’t eliminate other dangers: the most glaring example i can think of is a closeted person being outed by somebody finding their parents’ social media. again, this is downright irresponsible for someone like dream to be saying, especially in the wake of the person he replied to going private out of fears of doxxing because of their precarious and unsafe living situation.
having an “edgy” past is not something you get to pat yourself on the back for growing out of and then forget about forever; that is the bare minimum, especially when you have an audience of many poc who already do not feel that the community is inclusive, because antiblackness and other forms of bigotry run rampant in it. they now feel even more unsafe knowing that the face of the mcyt community downplayed his racist and islamophobic jokes as being a depressed teenager. i am a person who believes in personal growth and change, as both a technoblade fan and somebody who made antisemitic jokes as a young teen. but the first step of growing as a person is to admit what you did wrong using the real terminology for it and not trying to make it seem less bad than it was, or that it was okay at the time. it wasn’t okay. if you’re not able to condemn your own past actions as being racist, and feel the need to justify or downplay them in any sort of way, you have a lot of personal growth left to achieve.
#i will not be saying anything more but these are my thoughts. wanted to get them written down#i specify t/chno simply because if not people trying to detract from my point will say ‘ok why do you watch him then’#there is a difference here and it’s not a preexisting dislike for drm#my disgust comes from the atrocious way he is handling it in the present day. his actions are not speaking louder than his words rn#i keep adding stuff to the tags but anyway i saw it i understand that he was trying to comfort people#i saw the clip*#but not only did he word it horribly it’s just an incredibly privileged mindset to begin with#there is a reason we use fake names there is a reason we keep our locations secret etc#to say not to worry about it is counterintuitive to any internet safety lesson#it is not his position to try and comfort victims of doxxing especially not given the context of this statement being made#his fans are the reason that person is living in fear rn#and not once did he express any true sympathy beyond saying that the odds of anything happening are astronomically small
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that has no place existing as a fanwork. literally just write a novel if you’re going to do this. at least tag it properly for fuck’s sake.
#not about anyone who knows me. or ''me'' in particular.#but yeah. some things are so far from the source and have added so much disgusting crap to preexisting characters that they should just#write their own story! because it would actually be good if it was from scratch! but once you add abusive qualities to a character that#doesn't exhibit those in their source and that end up perpetuating stereotypes then there's a problem because that's not them anymore#nobody made you do this#i don't see what the point is in this thing that i saw. i genuinely do not see the fucking point it's just graphic whump#and i get that people love to beat off to this shit but why would you ever want to sit there and think of this and write this#it's a good thing i have bodily self control in the absence of at least half a verbal filter because if i didn't i'd have#found something to break by now.#?.txt#i produce and consume plenty of ''dark content'' you're absolutely 'allowed' to write about things like escaping an abusive situation.#please DO write about that. but fucking apply it respectfully and be aware of the context. be aware of the people who use the same tags.#be aware of who might be caught off guard and who might fetishize what you've written.#just be aware of it! that's it!
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