#just kinda felt…. nothing
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yo goh love confession next episode?
#hmmmmm still unsure if this is the finale of the anime but damn it sure does look like a farewell either way#just…. leaving it ambiguous if its ash or goh continuing the show#anyways my thoughts on the episode itself is that i like how jacked mew was and the implied lore and also it was cute#besides that project mew still wasnt worth it and i still do not give a shit abt the characters associated with it#i didnt dislike it but like… i didnt really feel anything either#just kinda felt…. nothing#which is wild bc goh got to befriend mew and hold it which was cute. but like the arc associated just drags it down for me sorry#echoed voice
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Drew WWX and LWJ after I finished my rewatch of The Untamed a few months ago. I have gotten marginally better. May this set a benchmark for what to expect from this blog.
Edit: June 2023 redraw
#Poorly Drawn MDZS#MDZS#wei wuxian#Lan Wanji#there are a lot of great artists in this fandom. I am not one of them#I've always admired artists a lot so I wanted to try learning how to draw#And the only way to start is to draw a lot. Enter the audio drama (and my desire to listen to it guilt free)#doing both at once was my way of participating in my own fandom#as much as I wanted to be super social on the MDZS forums...I honestly got really nervous#I have nothing to contribute besides going 'cool!' to other people's art#Writing and historical/theory posts. It kinda felt worse than isolation...#That aside...I am just here to dump my silly comics and I expect absolutely nothing to come of it#I'm blogging like that lady from that julia child movie. about the cookbook. I forgot what its called. this is just a journal to me
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i need a drawfee archive that's got every stupid funny moment documented in chronological, alphabetized order for when i spontaneously remember a really obscure bit that i need to find or else i'll explode. i need to be able to type an extremely vague description in a search bar and have it understand me completely.
#slight tangent but a part of me wants to learn how to edit comps just so i can make one of all their parody song bits#theyre so dumb and they bring me such joy#you could prolly get a 20 minute video thats JUST mr brightside references lol#anyway for context#i had a memory of someone drawing the same image twice pop into my head with no prompting whatsoever#all i could remember was that the colors were funky and the images were droopy?? and im 93% sure it was jacob#and it was too off the rails for me to easily link it to a specific challenge or thumbnail#all i knew is that it felt kinda recent so i spent like 20 minutes scrolling the timeline of every video starting 9 months ago#and i did find it! much easier to find when its within a year thank god. its from 'making art out of our worst spam emails'#specifically jacobs section. and id say the 20 minutes was worth it. the duplication and immediate fade in of the render will always send m#so ye go watch it if youve got nothing else to do. help me justify the time cost lol#drawfee#sea rambles
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Whitty And Bf Personality Swap? Lovely Art By The Way, Truly Inspiring. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡
hm I guess k, not feeling the most creative but here lol
idk lol
mostly based on this bc idk thought the vibes looked fitting in theory lmao:
#bombeep#whittyxbf#not the shippiest but eh still endgame so still tagging lol#personality swap sort of#couldn't think of much so just general silly vibes I guess ha#based on a very early point in time relationship-wise pre-friendship and all#like right after whitty'd reluctantly accepted bf's offer to stay at his place off the street at least for a lil bit#but still wanting nothing to do with him in general#while bf'd just try his best to make him chill out and relax with his charm and positive vibes but not succeeding very well just yet lol#so ye just imagining that scenario but swapping their places more or less vibe wise while they still look the same as usual counts right?#am not very creative sorry hope it's still passable lmao#bg kinda dumb but felt empty without any I guess so general vague shapes it is#yes I know bf looks too small scale-wise for it and whitty's probably way off too but at this point it's too much work to go back sorry ha#so yea sorry for general wonkyness lol#take it or leave it#enjoy or don't#whatever floats your boat#fnf au#fnf shipping#boyfriend#whitty#bf#I draw what I want#thanks for the suggestion#sorry that it's like 4+ months late ah well here it is anyways lol#stay groovy friendo
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just wanted to come and say uh? it feels nice for once to not feel bad about my twordishness, my reactions, etc. and honestly nobody should : ) you’re a perfect lee!!
#even if you’re only kinda twordish or SUPER twordish#you’re still a perfect lee!!#if you give only some reactions or ALOT of reactions#you’re still a perfect lee!!!#and if you only laugh a lil or ALOT#guess what… YOURE STILL A PERFECT LEE!!!!#all lees are good and#for the longest time i felt like i wasnt#and idk nothing specific happened it’s just nice to#not feel like im not twordish enough or too twordish#or i don’t give enough reactions or maybe i give too much#or i laugh too little or too loud idk#just a lil rant
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just an fyi, and it feels like it needs to be said here: your blog is your own space and you should be able to say whatever the fuck you want. if you’re sad? vent. get sad. maybe put it under a cut, definitely tag it, but get sad. if you feel like you need someone to talk to? drop a freaking message about how you’re feeling like you could use a buddy, or anything randomly engaging. if you’re having a hard time, you should feel safe and okay to talk about it in your own space. we’re writers and we’re people and while there’s a lot to be said for how engagement outside of oneself is necessary in rp (and really really needs to improve), i think there’s a lot that must be said about people reaching out to others. it’s become so solitary here — the whole ‘reblog from source’ thing when it comes to shit like about and musings is absurd. the whole refusing to like things is ridiculous. yes, curate your space, that’s important, but curating your space into a studio apartment only you live in doesn’t make this a community anymore, it makes it a studio apartment you live in.
just be yourself here. do whatever you want. but i’m always saying: remember you’re not alone, and don’t let yourself feel that way.
#ooc. o kaptain.#[this is illogically worded and after an argument I’m already upset but I just felt like this has to be put here. it’s been sitting on my#brain for so long and it’s something i just wanted to discuss. the way the rpc has become not even an echo chamber just… a shitty ny#apartment only one person lives in that can fit your fridge and your bedroom in the same room. the way literal fandoms have divided each#other through nothing but massive senses of entitlement and so much gatekeepy fucking language. it’s exhausting to watch this happen#literally all because i have no idea where interaction went and yes I’ve been virtually inactive for months now but. it absolutely isn’t for#lack of trying to come back. it’s hugely due to a lack of interaction whenever I reach out and then the feeling like I’m being either#entertained or dismissed. this is a social space and we’re people and everybody just needs to recognize that. like. last week my introverted#broski started discussing how as he’s older he feels loneliness more tangibly but he hates people and i looked right at him and said …yeah#dude. that’s natural. we’re humans. we need each other to live. we need spaces we create and communities we make. but like. there need to be#interactive people in those spaces. we’re social creatures. i love you guys and this is a ramble but… it’s been on my mind awhile. and#frankly? feels kinda good to finally speak my mind.]
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hi wait i don't want sos smp and i am very confused
is this a c!jimmy thing or are they legit mistreating cc!jimmy over there??
C!Jimmy always!! I only talk about characters on this blog (unless specified otherwise)!! I don't wanna comment on CC!Jimmy, he's an adult man, I trust him to be comfortable and as far as I know he's not bothered and has asked for teasing etc in the past. I only talk about his character but SOS is still particularly painful lol
#blabber#that said. when cc Jimmy's talking to Sausage about feeling embarrassed idk man that felt kinda genuine#but even if it was. Genuine discomfort does happen with CCs. No avoiding it. But 90% of the time it's nothing serious#I trust it to be the case with cc Jimmy too if he ever has been made uncomfortable#thats pretty much all I have on the CCs though. Again I just like to analyse the characters
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i won’t hold people to the same standards i have on myself in terms of friendship bc everyone shows they care in different ways
#this is a part affirmation and part intro to a rant i need to unleash#but i’ll leave it in the tags here bc it feels safer lol#it’s abt my housemate the other day when we had our last class which is online but our previous classes were in person so as a class we#usually just pull it up on the main computer and broadcast the zoom in the classroom#but on this day the class before this zoom class got out early so lots of people went home early to just watch it on their own zoom or wtvr#so the row i sit in was pretty empty except for me my housemate and our two friends#and usually my housemate sits on my right but she got up and moved to sit on the other side next to our other friend and said nothing#and i didn’t want to say anything bc i was kinda sad/offended even though#her moving seats probably has nothing to do with me and much rather her personal preference i can’t help but think negatively abt myself#also one morning we were both off she went to the smoothie shop and coffee shop and just went to pick up her orders and i felt the same#reaction of like sad/offended bc she didn’t consider me at al like what if i wanted a smoothie too! TF#or coffee even though i don’t drink coffee anymore wtvr#my thoughts on her and my friendship are kinda rocky bc we feel so out of sync#i feel like she’s always in her own world and it’s hard to get through to her and become real friends#it’s whatever not all friendships can be deep and meaningful
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yknow its probably a good thing that the themes of control and the fact that frisk doesnt equal the player etc werent like the Main thing with undertale because the fandom so horribly interpreted everything about it early on that it served as a great display of what toby needed to do to Not Mess It Up in deltarune where its basically the whole point
#like its also very important to undertale but if you completely miss that part youll end up fine#undertales story always felt more centric on the monsters of the underground while deltarune seems more focused on the story of kris and#their struggle with being a literal puppet to the player#like frisk is just kinda There. they dont really rebel and we actually know like nothing about them because theyre like. compliant i guess?#but kris does Not Take That Shit and is constantly fighting against it#its the whole point#sigh… chara they did you so dirty im sorry#like chara is morally grey as hell and they are Fascinating and have a lot going on with them that the fandom just. so horrible butchered#”oh this character is implied to have not been a great person? they have some ‘creepy’ dialogue? lol bloodthirsty murderer”#SO glad we left that era#chara loved monsters and was all about consequences!!! HOW DID WE ALL GET THAT SO WRONG#i have a lot of thoughts about this as you can tell#undertale#deltarune
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Sad, pathetic men who are the best at eating pussy.
#men that wear you down until you agree to let them fuck you#and they wanna prove it was the right decision#so they make it their mission to have you cream on their tongue over and over#like you’ve never had your world rocked quite like this#you expected nothing and yet your thighs are shaking your toes are curling and you saw the pearly gates#you weren’t even going to fuck him either— you just felt kinda bad for him#and it turns out it was the best decision of your life
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One of those weeks with too many thoughts of things to do, but none of them happen
Well, at least not to the degree you want them to be happening
#oc: bean#sona tag#vent tag#only sort of a vent but still#some of these thoughts do stem from a not so pleasant place like the need to draw something violent and feeling like I am obliged to finish#things like Chickpea's comic thing or continue with Pep's blog - which I will - but I gotta be in the right mindset for those#but other things like wanting to animate is just bc I watched a bunch of animations and I felt inspired#so kinda a mixed bag of emotions for this one#now I will probably proceed to do nothing bc I am waiting for something and I cannot focus when I know something is going to happen
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Holy fuck, man. What a trip Fearne has been on, huh?
You tell her how grateful you are to have her in your life, you flatter her, you tell her you need her, that you have to do this together. You have her make a promise that has this woman, born of chaos and fey, agreeing through shaking hands and a trembling voice.
You make her deceive your friends; you make her follow where they cannot know; you make her help you into this contraption; you make her feed this thing into you despite the fact that you both have been warned extensively of the risks. You make her watch you crumble and splinter and shatter and fracture and burst and implode. You make her watch you die, over and over and over and over, for a minute in agonizing bullet time.
You make her do all these things, because when she tries to back out, when she tries to not be the one who let you do this—how could you do this—
you tell her, "YOU PROMISED."
Because if there's one thing you know, it's that the fey do not break a promise.
#cant wait for her to fucking pissed for a very long time. shes really packing the entire human experience in a very short period of time.#critical role#cr spoilers#c3e77#fearne calloway#ashton greymoore#bells hells#just gonna get ahead of the um actually mfs and state that i am aware that its not confirmed that thats why ash brought up the promise#but boy howdy would it make for some great drama down the line huh?#edit: apparently i did not get ahead enough cuz ive had to turn off replies#since ppl were somehow interpreting this mini introspection piece as me infantilizing fearne??#anyway the first line is now changed to something a bit more neutral. after sleeping on it i do see how it was a bit aggressive at the top#other than that im not sure how else to reword without completely disregarding the core of the post#i might make more posts addressing this but im not sure yet. i wanna try to approach it in the best way possible.#but if it helps any the point of the post was not to say fearne had no agency. she had plenty of moments where she tilted one way or the#other. the POINT was to just shine some light on the emotional pressure she had been put under.#hasnt your friend ever asked you to keep a secret or promise that felt wrong or unsafe or made you anxious?#it has nothing to do with the amount of agency she had. ash wasnt holding a knife to her throat and forcing her to follow against her will#all i was trying to do was take this detail about his reminder of the promise that i thought was interesting and have some fun writing an#overview of the kinda stress she was under BEFORE theyd reached that scene. this entire ep was everyone discussing how grateful they were#for this family theyd made. and while im not saying ash was PURPOSELY emotionally manipulating fearne..#there is a level of unintentional manipulation when you pair the severity of his request with the convo theyd had 2 seconds prior#as well as the desperate need they all have to save each other NO MATTER WHAT.#ash was giving incredibly strong energy of a friend who peer pressures you into helping them do something that you know in your gut WILL#cause problems. hes a fucked up guy. theyre all fucked up guys. even if he didnt mean to “force” her into anything the pressure was THERE.#<- i feel like all of this overall gets my message across. i think maybe ill clean it up later into its own post.#im gonna try not to rush myself to get it done tho.#im under no obligation to explain myself. especially when ppl approach the misunderstanding by being rude af. but i do think it CAN#be clarified so id at least like to try to some degree
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Day 66
@sparkvampweek Day 6: (I didn't follow the prompt, sry)
Apologies -- Drabble under the cut (~500 words)
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Vampire paced around the upstairs bedroom for what felt like hours. His head was swimming with a frustrated mixture of feelings and what he speculated to be a light hangover. He'd barely seen Sparkling since the incident last night-- He couldn't even really remember what he'd said to make him upset.
Oh. Right. That. Vampire had stopped his pacing and was now pressing both of his hands against his temples before sliding his fingers through his hair. A short jolt of the panic he felt last night flashed through his body, running his jam cold.
I really fucked up this time, didn't I?
He had to say something. He couldn't bear this silent treatment. He went back and forth, back and forth once more before going to head downstairs.
The old steps of the house groaned quietly as Vampire made his way down slowly, timid to make any sudden sounds. He saw the light golden swath of his lover's hair peaking out from the back of his arm chair, already neatly combed. He snuck up behind him, taking a peak at what he was doing. It was a crossword, already mostly done.
Vampire took a deep breath.
"Hey, uh. About last night--"
"Don't worry about it." The sudden response took Vampire aback. "I made a big deal out of nothing."
"But you were right, I need to shut my big mouth." Vampire made his way to the arm of the chair and knelt down next to it so he could look at Sparkling. His face had the same calm expression he usually wore. "I upset you, that's a big deal to me--"
"Vampire, it's fine." He nearly spoke in a whisper. "I overreacted. You didn't deserve to get locked out, even if it was just for a moment." His voice shook slightly. He set the puzzle book down on his lap and sat forward so their eyes met. "I know how that sort of thing makes you feel, I shouldn't have done it. I'm sorry."
There was a short silence.
"I'm sorry, too." Vampire laid his chin on the arm rest. "And I mean it this time." He closed his eyes, and just barely audibly under his breath he whispered again, "I'm sorry."
Sparkling let out the breathe he felt he'd been holding since last night and smiled gently. "Let's just forget it even happened, okay?"
Vampire nodded. "Okay." He propped himself back up and made himself comfortable on the arm of the chair. He leaned in close, resting his head on Sparkling's.
"Can I help you with your puzzle?"
Sparkling let out a short chuckle. "Sure. How about a five letter word for a colorful species of bird--"
"Parrot!"
"That's six letters."
"Oh."
"Try again."
#vampire cookie daily#cookie run#vampire cookie#sparkling cookie#sparkvamp#i felt kinda bad abt yesterday's post#I had to make it better#i'm also just absolutely garbage at thinking up aus#fic instead of comic bc i blew a fuse or smth drawing that last one like wow#i can't do that long of a comic daily#answer for the crossword is macaw btw#there *is* context for what vampire said that started this whole thing#but i can't post it here bc of my self imposed “no n.s.f.w even a lil bit” rule#this 'arc' if i wanna call it that came from a dumb impulse bonus comic i drew after sparkles' birthday#(had nothing to do with his birthday)
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can someone please come over and braid my hair and talk about fnaf like im 9 again thanks. can someone please come over and pretend like its all ok thanks.
#desire mona#not to vent in tags but i need to be so real#i am probably one of the most lonely people ever actually#i have friends but i never see them#i spend all my time on here#ive taken to talking to people down my street which does help tbh like i do enjoy feeling like i have a community#i have a friend named tom down the road but hes like. in his 40s or 50s. but i do enjoy talking to him when we're out walking our dogs#i went out with him and his daughter to try and see the northern lights but it was too cloudy#i felt rly bad for knocking on his door at 10 pm to look at nothing but he was glad i reminded him#but once i go back home its just nothing#my life is just a series of waiting to take drugs again and its eating away at me but i cant fucking Do Anything#i just kinda feel like a pathetic loser for not doing anything productive ever and i KNOW i shouldn't let that demean my character in any wa#y#i know im a good and kind and funny person but my inability to bring myself to improve anything just makes me feel like im the worst#whatever#thoughtsing
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Just kinda felt like drawing them again..
#art#help how do i anatomy#narrator the stanley parable#narrator tsp#tspud narrator#tspud stanley#tsp art#tsp stanley#tspud fanart#stanley parable#stanley tsp#the stanley parable#his ass is not listening#to a single word. nothing but lettuce up there.#stanarrator#i am contemplating giving Narrator a tail.. for funsies.#anyway gonna sleep now idk why i drew them i just kinda felt like it#ooouughhhh my hands hurt now ouch
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me: yeah i didn't project too badly onto taob haha *sees a quote from taob randomly on a tiktok webweave about girlhood*
#HELLO?????? yeah zuko they girlhooded you. yeah no they transed your gender#idk if this makes sense but ur coping mechanisms are just sooo she/her#like do you have any idea how baffling this was like no tags no search no nothing it was just there by sheer luck#i saw it was a webweave about girlhood and i was like ohoughhee this will be good#got a few slides in. hello i recognise thAT FUCKING QUOTE WHAT IS HAPPENING#like it's such a niche quote and out of context like it was it could have been from ANYTHING#AND it wasn't credited which i'll get to in a second#but honestly i felt like a mother identifying her child through something incredibly niche like a single freckle or some shit#bc i was like 'this is such a nondescript quote and isnt a big enough moment for me to remember vividly and yet somehow i Just Know'#and low and behold i double checked with a cheeky ctrl+f on taob AND I WAS FUCKING RIGHT#WHAT THE FUCK#im a tad fuming there was no credit like the person used like 12 images and only 3 of them are Non-Tumblr Writing Quotes#and NONE got credited#like i get it's hard enough to get art credited but i feel with artists there's still a general conensus that you're SUPPOSED to tag them#but with writing people honestly just treat it like it's free real estate and the thing is it kinda IS especially if it's fanfic#but also..... why would you not just say who wrote that? like you clearly like it enough to put in ur little slideshow#so why not give credit where credit is due. annoying. bc now im like if this happened by pure fucking chance#then how many times has this happened when ive literally been totally unaware of it?#how many times have MY WORDS just been flung about tiktok without any acknowledgement that i wrote them?#idkkkk just how writing especially amongst tiktokers is treated as a lesser or watered down artform#that doesn't require the decency given to 'actual' art. i might just be being cynical bc i dont like tiktok tho lol#like girl (taob) what the hell are you doing at the devil's sacrament#taob
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