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s3thwrit3sstuff · 1 year

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❝ Just like that, baby ❞

Touya Todoroki x ftm!reader | AU, Dabi works as a body piercer, probably inaccurate description of getting pierced | nsfw, smut, p**n with some plot | sub. bttm. reader | wc: 4k

warnings: daddy kink, spit fixation (?), fingering, dacryphilia, dirty talk, praise, degradation, squirting, AFAB terminology (clit referred to as dick though)

masterlist: pt1; pt2; pt3

[ artwork is by @COooGA_ & here's the link to the piece. Please be aware that their content is very dark, do not send them any hate - viewer discretion is advised ]

"Are you shitting me?" Tomura's lips split into a Cheshire smile - his dry lips looking painful enough that it almost made Dabi feel pity. Almost. "You know I never play when it comes to making your life miserable, baby," the pale-haired man sang, cackling as Dabi reached over to swipe the iPad out of his hands. "You're a fuckin' asshole, I got plans tonight!" Dabi's seething made Tomura roll his eyes, turning the screen towards himself as he leans his hip on the counter. "You think I don't know that you're just gonna get your dick wet? The Boy Toy Club again? Really?" those deep magenta-coloured eyes nearly turn into nothing but a speck of red on white as Tomura continues his cackling. Sighing, he runs his hands down his face while he settles on the couch of their parlour's waiting room. Dabi picks at his ripped jeans, inked hands adorned with silver rings curl into fists as his jaw clenches, but Dabi groans as he tosses his head back. "How?" his curt tone makes Tomura damn near giggle. "Toga, she said you dropped the club's condom while taking out your phone." Of course that little fart-face told on him. Dabi couldn't even find himself to be pissed as he runs his hair through his hair, worsening its dishevelled state. "At least I'm not some loser who games his weekends away playing some virgin ass video game and has e-sex -" "Hello?" Both of their heads turn to the door where Dabi's customer stood. You shifted your weight around as they blinked owlishly at the sight of you. "Hey," Dabi gruffs out which earns a cocked brow from yourself. "The fu - I thought I told Spinner to replace the batteries to the sensor" Tomura mutters though he abandons the thought as he comes out of the U-shaped glass counters and motions for Dabi to get off his ass with a glare. You were beginning to doubt your friend's recommendation of this place. They'd been raving and praising the place, as if the Greek Gods had come down themselves to tattoo and pierce mere mortals. The sight before you was anything but...the two men before you were openly sneering at each other as the dark-haired one snatches the iPad from his coworker's hands. "I made an appointment at 9 PM and your Instagram says you're opened until 10 PM...?" The door closes behind you and the cool AC makes you shrug your jacket over your shoulders. The interior of the store was simplistic and with the smell of paint still lingering you figured they must've just upgraded it. The floors were glossy concrete covered with distressed Persian rugs. Like the glass counter, the coffee tables were also glass (the overhead lights exposing every little fingerprint) and framed with steel. It was all cold-looking. Although, the splashes of tattoo designs on the walls along with the Majesty Palm in the corners of the red-bricked walls warm up the space just enough for it to feel inviting. The neon sign above the low couch - where Dabi just lifted himself off - read "Villains Hideout" which bathed the waiting area in the ever-shifting colours of white, blues, purples and pinks. It bathes the moody man in those colours as well. If it weren't for the scowl on his face or the way his jaw clenches you could have admired his tatted-up skin, the way his ruffled-up inky black hair softened his edginess up along with how nice his silver piercings shone and decorated him.

Hah, who were you kidding? The way he clicks his tongue makes heat travel to your groin. Your friends had always shaken their heads at your taste in men. You always liked the ones that looked like they hated everyone in the world though you'd sigh a wistful "except me" that just makes all your friends give concerned glances to each other. So, you drink up his exposed arms and the teasing glimpses of his torso from the opening of the sleeveless, oversized, tee he was wearing. There was some rock band's logo at the front and you tried to see what it was - that was your defence when Dabi had suddenly called out your name...for the third time. "Huh?" Tomura wasn't in the room and your ears warmed as Dabi stared at you expectantly.

"(Y/N) (M/N) (L/N), that's your name, right?" You nod frantically. He briefly eyes you but gestures to the curtain door with his chin. "The last room down the hall, Tomura's setting it up. He's the ass - the guy with the blue hair" he scrolls down the screen and then huffs in amusement. Your eyes meet. Wow, you thought, his eyes are super blue. "A tongue piercing?" his smirk makes you wonder if he's just as mean in bed as his demeanour is. The lopsided grin on your face makes him take in how you were just his type. "Why? That's too hard for you?" an upside-down grin crawls on his face as he exhales through his nose. "Go, I'll be there in a minute", it seemed as though there was something else he'd like to add at the end of that sentence. A purr of a nickname maybe. But Tomura was still in the store and Dabi, although a crude and usually impatient man, felt himself squirming in anticipation as you walked past him. Since your jacket was now snuggly around your shoulders, the cropped length gave Dabi a peek at the expanse of your back. The condoms in his back pocket seemingly warmed up as Dabi chuckled from where he stood, just as eager as he was. Guess he was getting his dick wet after all.

Tomura greets you as he's wiping down the leather seats of the black chair. You return it with a smile, leaning your shoulder against the wall as you take a quick look inside the room. "Small room" your remark makes Tomura snort, shaking his head. "It's Dabi's unofficial spot" "Dabi? That's the guy's name?" Tomura nods, electing to not tell a complete stranger - and customer - that it was his chosen name. Or tell him that Dabi was related to a VERY rich man that he estranged from for reasons unknown (despite their years-long friendship). "He's a little rough around the edges" It almost sounds like a warning to your brain. It must be considering the glance Tomura gives - as if checking your expressions closely. "But he's good at what he does and we're sorta short staffed at night" Toga and Spinner were still apprentices. He couldn't make 'em stay all night here. (Tomura could but he'd rather die than admit he has a soft spot for those weirdos). You wave away his concerns, reassuring him you don't mind. Tomura focuses on wiping the seat down but his eyes linger on the flesh of your hips that were exposed from the backless body suit you were wearing. Paired with a pair of black pants and cropped faux fur lined jacket with a pair of boots - you looked like you weren't heading home after this. He prods. "Tongue piercing's are pretty straightforward, healing is a bit of an ass though" you laugh softly, nodding. "I heard, can't eat much for a week or so, right?" "Yeah, when I got mine I also couldn't stop fuckin' drooling" You laugh with your eyes squinted in amusement. He wants to ask about your plans after, to tell you that despite alcohol being a disinfectant it wasn't a wise choice to be downing shots at a club with a fresh tongue piercing. But he hears your breath hitch and the smell of smoky cologne enters the room. Dabi stands behind you, grinning as he places one hand on the top of the doorway making you feel smaller than him. "Jesus, Tomura, how long does it take ya' to sanitize the room" The man gives him the finger and you glance at Dabi's long legs as he walks in. "I'm only doing this because of you, you ungrateful donkey" The insult catches you off-guard. You hide your chuckles by pretending to cough, clearing your throat after. Eventually, Tomura leaves. He tells Dabi something about closing the store up properly and after a few more insults between them his footsteps fade away to the staff room, then out the hallway and finally out the entrance. By the time that happens, you're already seated and your jacket draped over an empty chair. Dabi's putting on gloves, the expanse of his shoulder and back makes your hungry eyes drink him in. The mirror in front of him makes it easier for you to see his brows slightly furrowed in concentration. But it makes it harder for you to avert your eyes when his electrifyingly blue ones meet you in the reflection. "You look good" You rub at your elbows, smiling coyly as you murmur thanks. He turns, instruments laid out on some sort of cart that he simply pushes with a gentle push of his boots. Then he settles on the round chair and inches closer. Even while seated he seems to tower over you. "Headin' out?" "Nah, just met up with a friend" Dabi's eyes zero in on your collarbones. Your top was one with a halter neck showing off that beautiful saccharine canvas of (S/C) that was littered in red, pink, and purple. "Just a friend?" His tone is playful and your fingers ache from not being able to caress up those toned arms sitting mere inches from you. "...With a few benefits"

Dabi feels himself getting excited. He hands you a paper cup full of mouthwash. "Rinse for 10 seconds then just spit it back in the cup" You do as you're asked and as you begin sloshing around the bright blue liquid your thoughts wonder if those gloves would feel good as they grip your thighs. He's faced away again as he's prepping to mark your tongue. He's pretty sure he should feel ashamed for finding the way your spit connects from the rim of the cup to your lips hot but Dabi has long abandoned shame. "Sloppy little boy, aren't ya?" He watches your face to see any signs of discomfort, ready to back off if you so much as gave him a confused expression. He feels his semi-hard boner twitching as you wet your lips and give him a boyish grin, handing the cup back. "Nobody's ever complained before, they like it sloppy". "Stick your tongue out," You open your mouth, wet muscle glistening under the lights as it covers your lower lip. He dries it with a tissue, smirking as your tongue twitches at the light pressure. "Just like that, baby"

Oh fuck, your thighs are pressing together and you've no control over it. He's got your tongue in his hold, leaning over you as he attempts to find the right placement. You see him furrow his brows again, sharp planes of his face making you gulp. Closer, a feverish voice pleads in your head, get him closer. Dabi eyes your hand as it places itself on his knee. "Nervous?" You shake your head and he quirks a brow as you tug at the hole in his jeans. You motion to your lap, patting it like he was some sort of call girl. He's beginning to like you more and more. The seat creaks with your combined weight but Dabi's on your lap and he's humming as your fingers slide up the back of his thighs and his hips. His crotch is bumping against yours and your eyes goddamn flutter at the very obvious tent. You feel cool metal and Dabi won't admit it but it is easier to do his job from this angle. He adjusts himself on your lap and you reach up his shirt, he pays it no mind and the taste of bland ink blooms on your tongue making you whine in a displeased manner. "Oh can it, you brat" Dabi chuckles, "I know you want something else but bear with it". He lifts your tongue with the clamp, nodding to himself as he ensures he isn't going to pierce through any nerves. He tells you to breathe through it, not to hold your breath and you can see him moving around a bit to grab the needle. The point of the needle makes a tremor go through your hands and Dabi moves his hips making you grip him tighter. He sure knows how to distract someone - "Big breath in" There's pressure, slight but there, "Big breath out". The needle goes through with nothing but a twinge in your brows and a near-bruising grip on his hips. As you peek your eyes up at Dabi through your lashes, he stares right back with a grin full of teeth and eyes glowing in pride. "Good boy, lift your chin up" You can feel drool slip past your lips and down the cork under your tongue. Dabi brings the piercing into view and you flutter your eyes close but he's suddenly tapping your cheek with the back of his hands. "Eyes on me, pretty thing".

He would've wrapped up the process anyways (duh, you're a paying customer) but you were so obedient just following his commands like some sort of lost puppy he felt his hands getting clammy. God, he was going to enjoy wrecking you. He slides the barbell through and fixes it into place. "S'fuckin' pretty" he lets your tongue hang out as he suddenly pulls away from your lap. He walks to the mini-fridge in the corner of the room, tossing his gloves away as he pulls out a can of Asahi beer. You're perplexed but the growing wetness on your underwear makes you content in watching him. He takes a mouthful, places the can down, wears new gloves and settles on your lap again. He's tilting your head, moving you like you're some sort of doll. He leans in and though you're convinced you're the horniest you've ever been in your whole life you hope he isn't going to make out with you. He doesn't, much to your confused-disappointment. Instead, he leans in close enough for your lips to touch only to pour the beer right on your tongue and down your throat. It's a steady flow, it stings like hell but the grip on your chin makes you immobile. So you gulp it down, breathy pants escaping your mouth as you attempt to swallow everything he's giving to you. He's watching every minute detail. The glow of determination in your eyes, the flush cheeks, the sheen of sweat on your temple, the way beer and spit dribble down your chin. He finishes and Dabi leans into your ear. He envies whoever had pierced the beautifully shaped lobes and cartilages, a part of him wanting to mark you with more of his works instead. His teeth on your lobe earn him a squeeze on his ass, and his large hand slithers down to wrap around your throat. "Can't kiss ya' on the lips but I'm sure there's somewhere else you'd rather I kiss, hm?" You nod much to his chagrin. Dabi does a quick once-over on your tongue as he guides it back between your lips but when he makes a move to get his gloves off you whine. Can't really speak much now, your tongue's still tingly and you know it's going to swell soon enough. But as Ursula mentioned, don't underestimate the power of body language (and a few whiny moans). "You want these on?" You nod. "You got a fetish for PVC?" He sounds like he's mocking you so you glare as you wipe the wetness from your chin. He's off you again, laughing at your pout that disappears when your ankles are grabbed and you're sliding down until your legs are hanging off the seat and he's over you. He unbuckles his belt one-fucking-handed. Your cunts practically weeping a waterfall for him. "Show me what I wanna see, baby" he watches your fingers deftly unzip your pants, the adorable shimmy of your hips as you squeeze out of them (he assists but only after snickering like an asshole), then you unzip your bodysuit very appropriate crotch access and finally he sees his prize. "Fuck" your hips cant away as he palms your crotch "You're fucking dripping". The casual way he pushes your underwear to the side makes your heart double in speed, he's staring at your cunt like a starved man. He dips past your folds, sliding up until he reaches your little dick. "Your ‘friend’ must've done a shit job" he said "Your dick's still ready to go" he strokes it, pushing the hood down with those slicked-up gloves and it has you gasping as you arch into his touch. "Your friend should've known better than let a slut like you leave without being thoroughly satisfied or else ya' gonna end up like this, being used like a common whore"

He slips you out of your pants and removes his top. God, he is tatted up. You let your eyes take in as much detail as you can. His hands were inked with all sorts of designs - you figured he started there from how old a few designs looked. But the ones on his neck are deliciously crisp and it was an intricate piece that went all the way down his chest. You wonder what his back looks like. There were swirls of Japanese clouds motif on his shoulder - a sneak peek of the intricate traditional tattoo on his back of red, black and white dragons breathing out blue flames. He snaps you back into reality as he spreads your legs open. "Don't even need to lube you up" he slips two of his slender fingers in and you turn your head to the side, cheek squishing against the leather. His thumb's pressing circles on your dick as he curls and scissors them inside you.

"Holy shit" he guffaws "You got wetter!" He catches your leg before it lands on his chest, brushing it to the side as he curls his fingers again and your choked moan is all he needs to know he's hit that sweet spot. Dabi slips another finger, your used hole takes it with ease as it eagerly clenches around him. "You're practically sucking me in" his cock is straining against his boxers so he grabs at it, squeezing it through the material to relieve it a bit. While there, he reaches back to grab a condom and places it between his teeth. Your eyes are squeezed shut, thighs twitching as he continues the relentless abuse of that spongy bundle of nerves but in a flash, his fingers are gone and you're whimpering at the loss. Your hole clenches around nothing and you're about to throw a goddamn tantrum if Dabi dares deny you of pleasure but find yourself frozen from where you're sat. "Like what you see, pretty boy?"

What you’re seeing is his cock, hard and twitching as the head nearly reaches his goddamn belly button. The tip is a shade of red, precum making it glisten but what’s more, is the ladder of piercings that begin from just above his balls to below his head. There were six piercings all lined up and perfect and you can’t tell if it was your tongue swelling up that was making you drool or your want to have him in his mouth so you can feel them on your tongue.

And what a nice surprise - Dabi’s real hair colour is white unless of course, he bleaches his neat patch of pubic hair which you doubt.

He rolls a condom over it, hissing softly and you can’t help but reach down to spread your lips apart for him. Dabi laughs, a warm hand holding your thigh as the other holds his dick to line it up.

“Thank you, baby. Ya’ know, I would usually take my time with pretty things like you but” your eyes flutter close as his head breaches you.

“If we stay here too long, a blue-haired asshole is gonna check the cameras. Can’t have him seein’ my bitch, he’s all mine and I don’t feel like sharin’” he has a rougher accent that slips when he’s filling you up.

“Ah, mpfh! Fuh...fuckkk...” The heels of your palm dig into your eyes as you feel him practically split you open. A burning sensation makes your toes curl, the stretch of his cock is making your chest heave. The feeling of his piercings has you seeing white faster than you register.

“Shit - did you just come?” he’s not even bottomed out yet but the evidence was the way your walls are spasming around him. He pushes your leg up, shushing as you pant out nonsensically about waiting and how it’s too soon.

“Shut up, you can take it, I know you can”

Tears slip past your eyes and it makes his grin sharp.

“Fuck, you’re even pretty when you cry - makes me wanna be the reason you’re sobbin’” he adjusts his hips and it makes you let out the most pathetic cry he feels his resolve break.

He pulls out nearly all the way and for a second you think he’s giving you mercy but he slams all the way in and the yell you let out has him laughing. A hearty laugh that makes him sound like a goddamn supervillain as he looks down at your teary face.

“Told ya’ you could take it” You clench around him, sniffling as you reach down to feel where you two connect. Your dick twitches.

He fills you up just right. His cock constantly pressed against that spot. You inhale wetly, looking up at him with your eyes all sparkly with tears.

You jerk, your eyes said, you fucking asshole.

“I know but I know you coulda’ and you did” his gloved hand swats yours away and he teases your dick making your mouth fall open, drool following.

“Dumb boy’s like you can take anythin’ you’re given” his words were like a siren's call. Whispering, lulling you into an underwater grave.

“Fuck” the way you tightened around him made him hiss. “Slobbering all over yourself from some dick” you whine again, wiping away the drool but he just snaps his hips in and out of you and you’re crying out again.

You’re laid on the leather, a sheen of sweat coating your skin which makes everything sticky and somewhat uncomfortable but with Dabi’s dick inside you, everything else around you barely exists.

You’re twisting on the seat, head thrown to the side as you moan wantonly - like a goddamn porn star according to Dabi. One of your legs is folded to your chest, the other pinned to the side as Dabi fucks into you. Your hands are braced on his chest, nails scratching and leaving red welts but Dabi takes them with pride.

He wishes he could kiss you, he knows he can’t but you’d have to do a follow-up to replace the piercing. He wants you to come again, just to see him, he’ll hurt you and heal you just like he’s doing right now.

You’re sobbing, you came around him again and he loves the feeling of it. The chair beneath you is downright shaking from how hard he’s pounding into you.

“Duh-Dabi!” you squeal, tongue already numb. The way you mispronounce the pleas for him to go harder makes him so riled up you swore you saw wisps of heat on his skin.

“Your cunt feels so fuckin’ good - Fuck! A perfect cock sleeve made just for this” You’re squirming again and Dabi pulls out making you thrash which he reprimands with a slap to your cunt.

“Please -"

He ignores you, ignores his dick that wants nothing more than to fuck you into oblivion again and instead curls his fingers inside you.

You’re done for - the pressure that his fingers bring makes your hips jerk up and down, twitching and moving uncontrollably. Dabi groans as you squirt all over his wrists, hips jerking as weak spurts follow the big splash.

“Fuckin’ love this hole” he places a kiss on your dick and you’ve half a mind to push him away. Especially when he licks it. But Dabi’s not done yet, your fucked out whispers fall on deaf ears.

“One more time, baby, let me feel you around my cock”

“S’too muh...muhhh”

“Shhh, just stay like that. So fuckin’ pretty for me, so good” his cock is inside you again and you’re crying out, reaching to wrap your arms around his neck.

Dabi grabs your ass and you lose the sticky leather. Now you’re in the air as he fucks up into you, the friction of your bodies rubbing on your swollen cock has your eyes rolling to the back of your head.

Your tongue slips out, going a bit cross-eyed. Not that Dabi could see, your face was tucked right between his shoulder and neck.

The camera’s red light was blinking but you couldn’t give a damn.

Dabi’s bringing you up and down his dick. His piercings stimulate your gummy walls, making your breath hitch every time it slips in and out of you, catching on the rim of your cunt. You babble, right into his ear.

“Daddy! Fuh! Fuck!”

Dabi plants his feet firmly to the ground, his back wet with sweat.

“S’too buh-big! Can’t! Ngh!”

“Yeah, you can. Take what Daddy gives you” he grunts and you’re sure your ass is gonna have the imprint of his hands so you leave scratches on his back.

He gives one last thrust and cums, the condom fills up inside you and you shudder. He hears you trying to catch your breath, sniffling in between every pitiful intake of air that have you hiccuping.

The sharp sensation of the metal can Dabi presses against your neck makes you flinch. You murmur that he's an ass and he just laughs. The both of you are in the waiting room, Dabi laying you there for a comfier seat and letting the AC dry you off while he was cleaning up the room. Now that he was done, he was sipping beer with you. The atmosphere was casual, laughably so considering how he just fucked your brains out 10 minutes ago. You pull out your wallet after you're halfway through but Dabi walks away from you. He gets behind the counter and pulls out his card making your eyes widen. "Don't sweat it, think of it as a thank you" the card machine beeps and you honestly couldn't even stand up without your thighs and back going all weird so you weren't gonna win this anyways. Still, you pout. "That's the first time someone's pissed I pay" his blue eyes dart to his phone that's hidden from your view, ignoring the middle fingers you throw his way and the stuck-out tongue. [ Shiggy: His hole's that good? ] Dabi glances at the camera behind the counter, licking the back of his teeth as he saw the red light. [ Shiggy: Think he can take two of us at the same time? ] [ Dabi: Fuck off, he's my bitch ] Tomura sends a screenshot of your fucked-out face nuzzled into his neck. Dabi's dick twitches to life. [ Shiggy: Just wanna test out his head game, think I can teach him a few tricks using that new piercing ] Tomura grins when Dabi tells him they'd have to wait for it to heal, moaning as he squeezes his cock. He goes back to the replay of the feed, of you getting your first orgasm and throws his head back as he cums into his fists just as you came all over Dabi's cock.

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minniiaa · 4 months

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Thank fucking god one piece tumblr is mostly a safe space because holy shit twitter is hell. These people bitching and moaning about Luffy laughing and being happy in G5 (AGAIN) saying it “ruins the story”

DO YOU MOTHERFUCKERS EVEN READ THE STORY? HE IS JOY. BOY. HE BRINGS JOY AND LAUGHTER TO THE PEOPLE THROUGH FREEDOM. DO YOU THINK HES JUST GONNA POP OFF ALL SERIOUS IN THIS FORM?

Luffy it at his freest in G5. He is overflowing with happiness as he uses his abilities to save and protect people. Why wouldn’t he be happy? We already had many arcs where Luffy was serious and even distraught when he couldn’t protect those he cared about. Those days are over and he now has the strength he always wanted. Let him be fucking happy. If you want to be miserable go read pre-TS and cry.

Now let’s be real. If you had all the powers in the world wouldn’t you do some wacky shit? I would be causing chaos and fucking around with anyone I could because it’s FUN. The Kaido fight had me smiling at my tv like a stupid idiot. I felt like I was a kid again watching Looney Tunes again (which I grew up on and loved dearly) Maybe these zoomer fucks have just never watched a cartoon in their life because their heads are too buried in their ipads or playing fortnite . Or flip side these people are just sad, lonely millennials and genx who are so dead inside they forgot what it’s like to be silly and joyful.

Also, the final island is called LAUGHtale. Rodger, King of the Pirates LAUGHED when he found the one piece. This whole beautiful decades spanning tale is ground in LAUGHTER. Don’t try to sully that just because you haven’t laughed in years and you hate your family and dead end job. Let others be happy. Try and be happy yourself. Go ahead, just laugh until you cry. You will be amazed at how good it makes you feel.

Yes I am mean, no I do not care. I am in my high tower of happiness and laughter enjoying life and my favorite series. If you want to be miserable and serious go watch/read jjk and don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out. We don’t need you and Oda doesn’t either ✌🏼

me laughing at the haters:

#every new chapter I mean to make this post #bc I’m going insane at this negativity #need Luffy to g5 these idiots into space so the vacumn can suck the life out of them #I’ll be the one laughing then #one piece #luffy #gear 5 #op #one piece rant #negativity #twitter #one piece memes

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acuar-io · 24 days

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man, seeing art on tumblr makes me really miss drawing; it makes me regret stopping too because art was a hobby of mine for such a long time. i was genuinely good at it and i drew a lot as a child. Anime played a big roll in that and i drew in an anime art style as a kid lol. of course though when i got to middle and high school, i threw away any art related thing to the trash cus it wasnt good enough or i just didnt have a care to keep it. I literally sold one of my art pieces for 40$ to my english teacher my senior year. I regret that now. I hate the old me for that.

I want to love art again I really do, but whenever i draw, its not good enough. I learned basic things in art class in hs but that only took me so far and then i just stopped altogether. I also am not a fan of realism i am more of a cartoony style type of person but i cant draw anatomy for shit like i really do suck at art now. It makes me so fucking sad. I wanted to get into digital art (i have an ipad and procreate) but i am too hard on myself and also stopped that bc nothing i drew was good enough to me

#fae.txt #personal #but like...youll never be good if u dont try and practice and get better....i hate being neurodivergent everything is hard and i just cant #have fun drawing bc i dont like how anything comes out or the fact that i literally cant draw shit

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zeltqz · 8 months

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niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

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ghostdrinkssoup · 1 year

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*jazz hands* hey dudes I’m back with more hannibal notes/reactions (s1 ep11) except it’s just the silly goofy ones 🥹

omg is chilton back ??

“poke around a psychopath’s mind, bound to get poked back” haha hi there s2

ocean imagery, ice turning into water, drowning 😳 (twotl is that you ??)

well at least gideon knows how to hold himself accountable 🤷‍♀️

chilton is such a gaslighter omg

“worked for me” killing as a substitute for divorce almost worked for hannibal too 😩 *mizumono flashbacks*

see will would lowkey be the most op serial killer ever. he absorbs all their techniques and shit, he’s like the avatar except instead of past lives it’s all the killers he’s analysed LMAO

^^ will really could’ve picked any career field. like I know his empathy is a ✨metaphor✨ but also if he can presumably get into anyone’s head and relive their experiences then damn he could really do whatever he wants but no, his dream career was this bullshit </333

alternate reality where will gives up being a criminal profiler and becomes a gothic poet like if u agree

“I just feel like somebody else” - hannibal is just sitting there listening to will unravel like 😊

“I feel crazy” “it is what you fear most” omg he really is just like me fr 😩

“will, you have me as your gauge” - I love how this is hannibal feigning security (and being a manipulative piece of shit) but also hannibal being like 🥺 I want you to rely on me. I am your paddle <3 I hate him he’s the worst therapist and boyfriend to ever exist

^^ also the idea that they’re the same 😳

^^ also FORESHADOWING

HELLO AGAIN WATER IMAGERY

YOO I DIDN’T THINK THE TONGUE/CHURCH MURDER WOULD COME BACK I SAID I KINDA WANTED TO SEE IT IN EP7 LMAOOO *flashback music*

be careful what you wish for kids

oh freddie we’re really in it now

“gave you something better to do with your tongue than wag it” THAT WAS SO OUT OF POCKET LMAO

not the dating imagery again </333 why do all the killers in this show want to date hannibal,, my fave romcom fr,,

gideon is like *tears up* freddie don’t fuck with me rn

chesapeake ripper mimicking kills and throwing himself into the fray? that’s very copycat killer of him… it’s almost like they’re the same- *gunshot*

severed arm, observatory, boom gottem

hannibal was like 🙄 yeah I got your invite, I saw on my ipad. I don’t want to fucking date you *calls the cops*

hannibal is such a snitch damn

the beginning of chilton’s looney tunes suffering arc (it only gets worse from here)

FREDDIE JUST STANDING THERE 😭 this would be so horrible to witness jesus

“I feel like fluid, like I’m spilling” WATER IMAGERY

don’t let go jack *my heart will go on plays distantly in the background*

^^ this appearing in the same episode as all that ice imagery? this really is titanic omg

“it’s hard to shake off something that’s already under your skin” this line BANGS

doesn’t will like,, run off in this scene?

THE STAGGGG OH SHIT

it’s gonna take him to hannibal’s house omfg

GIDEON IS GONNA FOLLOW WILL

NVM

why is will following the stag to hannibal lowkey romantic LMAOOO he’s gotta follow his heart and mental illness <3

“I was expecting the chesapeake ripper… not his boyfriend”

WILL IN THE CAR he’s not gonna walk to hannibal’s BSDBBSBD

NOT GIDEON CALLING WILL ILL GET ROASTED ??? TAKE THE L ???

gideon delivering will to hannibal all sheepish like “man sorry to do this I know it’s a bit awkward but I found your man out in the wild and thought I should probably take him home” 😭

HANNIBAL’S FACE LMAOOO he really said 😟

hannibal said no more girlboss only gaslight

GIDEON’S FACE HE’S LIKE WTF

hannibal deserved everything he got in s2 he was so fucked for this

the saddest thing about this is hannibal is the only person will trusts enough to be vulnerable and open with,,, the only one he feels safe enough to breakdown in front of. he’s a safe presence in his mind *screams in agony*

“he’s had a mild seizure” “that doesn’t seem to bother you” “… I said it was mild” NDNDHHD FUCK WHY IS THAT SO FUNNY

^^ whenever hannibal’s hypocrisy is pointed out to him he’s always so confused like “??? god guys it’s not like I HATE will I care about him ?? I’m his paddle ?? I’ll set his brain on fire and gaslight him to the point of mental collapse but it’s not like the seizure was that bad 🙄 he’s literally fine”

WHY ARE BOTH WILL AND HANNIBAL FUCKING ALANA OVER THIS EPISODE 😭😭😭

hannibal rlly said I want her GONE (it was very rude of her to kiss will 💔 god he’s petty)

hannibal being sweet to will now is so sick and twisted,, not the little smile,, I hate him

“I’m worried about alana” SHUT UP

alana :((( I’m sorry queen

BEDELIA ??? hello there <3 *thinking lesbian thoughts*

hannibal fr is like a child, he’s throwing around his favourite stuffed toy thinking it’ll be fine if the arm breaks, or an eye falls off. he’s too rough with no real regard for the consequences 😩

oh hannibal *head in my HANDS*

#ngl 90% of my notes were pure analysis #the silly goofiness is only like 10% 😭#my brainrot is so endless for this show like it did something to my brain chemistry #hannibal #nbc hannibal #will graham #hannigram #ghost reacts #ghost speaks

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moral-terpitude · 1 year

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Misadventures - Part 6.5

A/N: not what I thought I would be posting tonight, but I’ve determined some flashbacks may be interesting, and it just feels fitting to introduce a friend of Quinn’s back home before we see him some more.

There’s nothing you’ll miss if you skip it before I post chapter 7, and I don’t blame you because there’s no Tommy in this chapter🤷🏼‍♀️ also I’ve been trying to find ways to include songs from The Jaws of Life, and apparently flashbacks are going to be it 😂 ft. an old project I drew (and my handwriting has apparently not changed much.)

Summary: It’s early April 2020 and Quinn is not handling COVID lockdown well.

[Masterlist] [Series Masterlist]

cigarettes on a dark, bent highway • follow you from a distance like • demons in a dеath machine • I feel your stomach tightening

“Quinn, are you okay?”

She sighed, sipping from the coffee mug, feet tucked under her on the couch.

“I don’t know, Hannah.” Quinn sat the mug down, closing her iPad as she leaned back in the cushions of the couch, “I hate feeling helpless like this. I can't even turn the tv on because I can't stand watching the news.”

“You never usually watch the news.” Hannah shook her head, sitting on the steps from the kitchen to the living room.

“Okay, that’s a fair point. But still. I don’t want to see it. I don’t want to hear about it. I feel like normally, something like this, we would just be drinking right now, and that would occupy more time, but just the thought of it turns my stomach.”

“Listen, we came back in one piece—“

“I don’t remember anything!” She could feel the anger bubbling in her stomach, they had this conversation so many times and each time she felt more and more mad at herself. “I don’t remember what he looks like, I don’t remember if we used a condom, I don’t remember, fuck, I don’t remember if he pulled out. I don’t remember shit. Do you know what that feels like?”

Hannah stared at her blankly. For a fact, she didn’t remember much either.

There had been no intention of attending the Mardi Gras festivities while they were in New Orleans, they didn’t even know it was going on until they were in the thick of it. They had been there only for work, they had said.

Strictly.

A convention in New Orleans weeks ago. Both of them came back sick with no idea what it was.

Quinn felt like she was dying the first few days. A mix of trying to breath through the coughing and trying not to cry for how terrible she felt, she had been a mess.

“I should have just went back to Michifan, as soon as we came back, my dad said it was going to get bad, and if we wanted to we could go back to the cabin, or come stay there, but no, here I thought,” tears started to well in her eyes as she tried to choke them back, “that we’d be fine and that everything would die down, and now, we’re sitting here without fucking jobs at the moment!”

Hannah swallowed thickly. This wasn’t the first outburst Quinn had in the last few weeks and she was sure it wouldn’t be the last.

She had been undoubtedly cranky. Calls from the state health department about shutting down weren’t even what had irritated her the most.

It was other artists who just thought they didn’t have to listen and could do whatever they wanted.

“Chris wanted me to stay open and eat the fucking fine from the state. Said if we all chipped in that it wouldn’t be so bad. He had a fit when I said I wouldn’t do it. I feel like I’ve personally put everyone out of work and I hate it.”

She sighed, keeping another sob from wracking through her as she buried her head in her hands, bare faced and rubbing at the tears stuck in her lashes, she finally felt a sense of relief at letting it all out.

“Quinn, I think you just need to go to bed. You look exhausted.”

“I haven’t done anything! Why should I fucking be exhausted, Hannah. I’ve sat here, all day, a little ball of stress in my pajamas, trying to find a way to make some god damn money for everyone while the shop is closed! People aren’t working, so they don’t have extra money to spend—“

“I am sure, if it goes on any longer, there will be money from the government, or something. Dead ass. You just need to chill. Dante said they’re fine, Chris is just frontin’, he has money stashed, and, it’s good. We’ll all be good. Just take a breather. Periodt.”

Quinn smiled, the tiny ponytail on top of Hannah’s head bobbing as she talked was enough to send her over the edge for a laugh. She knew if she busted out a “Periodt,” she was better off not arguing with her.

“Fine. I will go to bed. But I am not going to sleep.”

“Don’t tell me you’re starting Buffy again.”

“No; I just finished it the other day. I can’t do a rewatch that quick.”

Dragging the comforter along behind her, arms full with water bottles and her iPad she schlepped past Hannah to her room, an awkward goodnight exchanged between the two of them before Quinn shut the door with a click.

If she wanted to, she could rent a car. Drive back home. But how could she? Abandon all her duties to her employees and coworkers by not staying around and trying to figure something out?

It wasn’t right.

The bubbling sound of her phone ringing as she stared at the blank screen was taunting her. How could her best friend not answer her at a time like this?

“Quinn, it is ten at night, what are you requiring of me at this hour?”

Dalton crammed his glasses back on his face as Quinn pulled the blanket up to her chin, burrowed in her bed. Sandy hair askew with a hood pulled up over his head. Bleary eyes struggling to focus.

“Hi.”

“Hi, Blondie.”

“Oh shut up. It looks terrible doesn’t?” She ran her fingers through the light hair, probably needs a good wash.

“Quinn your roots are grown out and it’s the first time I’ve seen your hair faded in years, so yeah, it looks terrible. But I know that’s not why you’re calling me.”

“How are you guys holding up?”

He shrugged, “Jay is at work. He’s barely been home. Slept at the hospital a couple of nights because they just can't get caught up. I’ve been staying at the studio so that he can rest when he is home. He doesn’t want to get anyone sick from bringing something home from work, so, I’m bored as fuck and haven’t had good head in fucking weeks.”

Quinn laughed, a smile fighting its way onto her face despite her tear stained cheeks.

“There we go,” Dalton laughed, dog barking in the background, before he continued, “Okay, mama, are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, or do I have to dig it out of you?”

Quinn sighed, rubbing at her eyebrow as she thought. “I think I did something terrible, Dee.”

“Well, you’re here to tell the tale, and also not in jail, so how terrible could it be?”

“It’s not funny.”

“I’m not laughing, I’m just stating the facts here, babe. What happened?”

“I think I finally reached my limit. I…” she sighed. There had never in their entire friendship been anything that Quinn had been embarrassed to tell Dalton.

“Have you ever just…drank enough that you left a bar with some random and come to, like, a few days later?”

“Days?! Quinn. A few days later?!”

“Yeah.”

“No, I haven’t ever came out of a blackout days later!”

“Well, it’s not the first time. I think I’ve been working through it, Hannah hasn’t even noticed, but I know I left a bar in New Orleans with a guy. I remember bits and pieces. Nothing that tells me anything. Maybe a few seconds of waiting for an Uber and I feel like I’m making that up to just try and find something to grasp at.”

“Mama, that’s fucking called alcoholism. You are a functioning alcoholic.”

Quinn stared at him through the camera, letting the words sink in. She had assumed that was the route she was headed down, but to think she had already went that far? Had it really been that bad?

“You are using alcohol to cope with—“

“Do not bring him up!—“

Dalton softened his tone before continuing, “what happened to you, and I don’t recommend it. You need to quit before—“

“I haven’t been drinking. I swear on my life. I started weaning myself off of shit when we got back. I figured it was bad when I had the bottles under the bed, but I didn’t realize how many there were.”

“Quinn, detoxing at home will fucking kill you.”

“Well I did it. Okay? It’s done. I dumped it all down the toilet, and now we’re all stuck in our houses like caged fucking animals with nothing to do!”

Dalton sighed, sitting up on the couch, rubbing his eye beneath his glasses, “Have you went and got tested?”

“No. I don’t know what’s open. I haven’t looked.”

“Okay, I think you haven’t looked because you don’t want to know. I think doing that will bring you some peace of mind. Do that, take a breather. I don’t think you need to try and remember anything.” He shook his head, “You’ve…informed me of some of your escapades and while I’m sure it’s not the safest thing, you’ve coped. You’ve moved on.”

“You sound like my therapist.” She sighed, wriggling around in the blankets in hopes of sticking a foot out the side to cool down.

“Right now I'm your therapist, Quinn.” He sighed, “if you can’t keep doing it. Don’t. You don’t have to drink. I think it’ll be easier than you think. You’ll feel better, that’s for sure.”

“I think I’ve lost like 10 pounds already.”

“Well, yeah, that’ll happen.”

She took a deep breath, finally feeling like her lungs were able to fill with air, “I think I feel better.”

“You were probably having an anxiety attack. It’s not uncommon. Everyone has been turned on their head the last few weeks. Just take some time to rest. I think your body needs it.”

“I hate it when you’re right.”

“Ugh, you look like you need a hug, you little touch starved muppet. When this is all over, I’m coming to see you.”

“It’s just so boring being just Hannah and I. Like, not to be rude, but I think we’ve told each other our life stories three times over.”

“You told her?”

“Okay, maybe not everything. I don’t particularly like advertising that I’m damaged goods.”

“Mama, you are not damaged goods. I swear if you don’t quit. You’re a fucking gem. I think you need to get a pet or something. Adopt a cat. Around here they’re trying to clear out the shelters so they’re waiving adoption fees.”

“I said after Penny I’d never get another cat,” she whispered, eyes welling up just at the thought of losing her.

“Okay, well, you need to go to sleep before you keep crying and I need to go to sleep before I keep putting my foot in my mouth by the scenic route of my asshole. Goodnight, Quinn.”

“ ‘Night, Dee.”

A cat, she pondered, tossing her phone on the bedside table, it might be worth a shot.

#misadventures #quinn meyer #modern tommy shelby #modern tommy shelby x oc #tommy x oc #tommy shelby x oc #modern!tommy shelby #modern day au #modern au #tommy x quinn #tommy shelby fanfic #modern!tommy #fanfic #fanfiction #backstory

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jasminerov · 20 days

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𝘿𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝘿𝙚𝙘𝙚𝙥𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙗𝙮 𝙅𝙖𝙨𝙢𝙞𝙣𝙚𝙍𝙤𝙫 𝙤𝙣 𝙒𝙖𝙩𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙙 ♥

I felt Riccardo's hand move from my waist to my leg. I gave him a quizzical look, but he just looked ahead.

"Daisy..." I turned my head to Brent as I heard his voice and nodded. "We should start with scholarly reading and then..." Brent was still talking, but I couldn't focus on anything he said with Riccardo's hand on my tight.

My back was pressed against his toned chest, and I could feel the warmth oozing from him. His scent was his usual wood and aftershave with cigarette and whiskey, making me compelled to him.

Me, wearing black shorts, didn't help when Riccardo started stroking my leg. He was slow and steady as he moved against my skin.

I took in a deep breath as his hand came to my shorts.

My cunt pulsed, and I tried to squeeze my legs. But a large and veiny hand prevented me from doing so.

Goosebumps trailed wherever he touched as he moved slowly. As Riccardo got closer to my shorts, he would stay there for a second before moving down my leg.

He was a teasing piece of shit.

He knew what he was doing, and he was damn good at it.

I was trying to focus on Brent, but all I could see was his mouth moving, and I couldn't hear a sound. I struggled to keep a neutral face as Riccardo kept assaulting my leg with his hand.

I turned my attention to the iPad and nodded to Brent now and then, trying to look like I was listening to him.

I was already dripping, and he didn't even touch me there.

A gasp left my lips as Riccardo palmed my cunt. All faces turned to us, and my face was probably red like a tomato. I tried to come up with an excuse, but it was difficult with his hand on my pussy.

"I accidentally closed a tab." I chuckled awkwardly before turning to my iPad. Riccardo's hot breath fanned my ear, which made me want to close my legs, but Riccardo didn't let me once again.

"Good girl." His throaty voice filled my ears, and a shiver went down my spine. "Do not dare to make a sound, piccolina." He ordered, and I nodded my head. He palmed my cunt even more, getting me closer to him.

That is when I felt it.

Long, thick, and throbbing under my ass.

I suddenly stood up, letting the iPad fall from my hands. All faces turned to me once again."I need to use the restroom," I said quickly before running to my room and closing the door behind me.

I was breathing heavily as I rushed to the bathroom. I stared at my reflection in the mirror. I was flushed and panting as if I finished a marathon. I washed my hands and walked into the bedroom before lying on the bed.

I blushed as I thought about what had happened a few minutes ago. Riccardo had the audacity to touch me in front of all those people, including his sister.

I hate to admit it, but it turned me on.

I could still feel his warm body and his strong hands, as well as his hot breath on my neck. How his muscles felt behind me as he palmed my pussy with his strong hands.

I didn't realize what I was doing as I put my hand inside my panties and started rubbing my clit while thinking about him.

I was Niagara Falls already.

If his palm felt so good over my clothes, I wonder how would his fingers would feel on my pussy, naked.

My other hand started to play with my tits as I imagined Riccardo playing with them, nipping them, sucking them. A moan left my lips as I got closer to my climax. I started rubbing my clit faster and tugging my nipple while picturing Riccardo pounding me from behind. A loud moan escaped my lips as I came, and my body trembled as I rode my climax.

I have never come this hard, and I literally saw the stars. I was a panting mess by the time I came down from my high.

"Eyes on me, piccolina." My eyes opened on its own after hearing his throaty and deep voice.

Here Riccardo was, seated on the couch across my bed as he leaned back and legs wide open. His head tilted back as he was looking at me with hooded eyes. His lips were parted slightly as he was looking at me hungrily.

When I trailed down, I saw his hand pumping his shaft over his slacks. I stared at him with wide eyes, couldn't believe he was here, beating his meat before my eyes. He started pumping faster as his breath quickened.

Before I gathered what was going on, he grunted loudly without leaving my gaze and threw his head back as he came all over his slacks.

My mouth opened in shock as I processed what the fuck just happened. I closed my eyes before covering my face with my hands when it hit me.

Riccardo was here when I was rubbing myself at the thought of him. He was here the whole time. He saw everything.

I heard some movement before Riccardo gripped my chin gently and tilted my head so that I could look at him. He was still breathing heavily, but he looked... satisfied.

He leaned down, and I could feel his breath on my face. "Bare this in mind, il mio piccolina. I will always be one step ahead." He smirked tauntingly as his thumb grazed my lower lip. "The next time you try to pull a stunt like that, I will fuck you before their eyes."

His eyes were shooting daggers at me as his grip on the chin tightened. "That, piccolina, is a fucking promise." He gave me one more look before letting go of my chin and leaving.

I was breathing heavily with embarrassment and excitement.

My eyes widened as soon as I realized the door was wide open the whole time.

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moki-dokie · 1 year

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I wish I had the same tools and resources as other artists my age did in their formative years. I wish I had some of the tools I have now back then. I wish my brain worked like most people's and that I could visualize light sources and how it interacts with a subject. I wish I had the time and money to go take some real university art classes. I wish a severe years long battle with depression didn't rob me of creativity so badly that I lost what little skill I had. I wish I hadn't developed a bad tremor and twitch thanks to medication meant to fight that depression. I wish I had enough time in the day to actually do art how I want.

There's a ton of things I wish I could change, have, or do in regards to art. I'll never not be extremely envious of artists decades younger than me that are already so insanely skilled that they can pitch a portfolio to studios. I'll never not be jealous of peers my age that continue to grow and get even better at something they're already so good at.

But, at the same time, I've learned to be gentler on myself. I've forgiven myself for the things out of my control. And instead of staying stuck in an endless negative spiral and lamenting all the what-ifs and could-bes, I choose to go forward and make art anyway. I choose to have fun with it again, to doodle and experiment. I allow myself the freedom to start over and learn. I still don't have all the resources available to me that I wish I did but I won't let that stop me. It can still be extremely frustrating when I want to draw something and simply can't figure out how or when nothing turns out how it looks in my head, but it isn't the end of the world. I'll make something else, learn something new, and continue.

It's hard to start over in your mid 30s, but I'd rather do this than bang my head against a wall forever and hate everything I do to the point of not doing it at all. Finding the joy in creating again has been key. And sometimes that means sketching studies of cats for weeks on end because their anatomy is pleasing to work with and I can find myself learning while I'm at it, to the point that soon I won't need endless refs and I'll be able to draw them mostly from memory. Sometimes that means turning a funny meme into a full comic page just to challenge myself with expressions and panel layouts or to play around with color or grayscale. Sometimes it means leaving something I was working on for weeks or months and then coming back to it with a fresh perspective, new knowledge, and rekindled joy that made me start it in the first place. And, sometimes it's merely finding a bunch of tutorials and trying them out to see what happens.

It's crazy how much this ipad has really boosted my creativity. Not being tied to my PC is a huge bonus, as is the feeling of drawing on paper (bless paper like screen protectors!) And drawing directly on the surface. A stylus that behaves like an actual pencil (or pen, or brush, or whatever) has been tremendously rewarding and fun. I think a lot of my frustrations before were purely because I just didn't have the right tools. My Wacom was a piece of shit that only worked with sai which wasn't ideal. This is miles better, I really can't even describe it.

Anyway all this to say that if you're struggling with your art, it's ok. Be kinder to yourself, cut yourself some slack, and maybe just doodle pages and pages of silly looking cats for the hell of it. Whatever brings some measure of joy.

#art #artists on tumblr #idk just some thoughts floating around

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onyxheartbeat · 7 months

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There’s something seriously wrong with customers who complain that retail employees who’ve already greeted them and said “let me know if you have questions” are sitting down, not walking around wasting time telling them about things that are clearly listed on signs, or begging for their business, especially in this day and age of minimum wage that is nowhere near enough to keep up with inflation.

Seriously wrong.

I work in a high end chocolate store and the owner/chocolatier is pretty famous in his field, so our customers are elderly, rich, grumpy people OR corporate yuppies who get mad that we’re sitting down on boxes behind the counter, since our boss doesn’t believe in a stool since it’s, in her words, “not a good look for the shop” and makes us look “lazy.” Every customer is greeted and told to let us know if they have questions (and believe me, people have no problem asking about a thousand questions about self-explanatory shit like truffles and pricing that’s clearly listed.

Anyway, our boss told us she’s been getting complaints, and she tells us this every few months. One customer said we dressed ugly and look disheveled once and claimed we all looked like we hate being at work. Today, she informed us that people have been complaining we’re all “huddled in back” and not talking to them about the product. Just to put into perspective—our store is tiny; like 300-400 sq ft. It’s literally just a counter, and shelves with chocolate boxes. There’s NO reason to be walking around unless someone needs help grabbing a box or if we need to stock the shelves. Standing behind the counter makes no difference. We also do not have a tipping feature on our iPad because our boss thinks it makes us seem lower end…we’re not allowed a tip box either. This is bullshit since we have people request gift wrap for up to twenty boxes, ribboning, tissue paper etc. plus putting up with their stupid questions. We give certain people service for up to half an hour with no tip.

For the most part you can tell that the people who put in these complaints are people who leave angry because we don’t sell truffles by the piece anymore. They’ll say shit like “that’s dumb. you USED to.” Or they’ll complain about the price of our shopping bags. And it’s like…what do you want me to say? Take that up with the owner. I’m not gonna apologize for policies I don’t make.

Also, if you’re one of those customers who doesn’t make eye contact, say thank you, or is just overall rancid with your behavior and you talk to me like I’m beneath you, I’m going to give you that same energy back. And I know these are the types that end up writing complaints. I had a woman recently shout “HELLOOOO. DO YOU WORK HERE????” to me a few weeks ago while I was on a break because she was too impatient to wait for my coworker to finish up with her customer. I ended up helping her but I told her I was on a break. That probably embarrassed her so she got an attitude. She also tried to game our points system by asking me to ring up her multiple items as separate transactions to get to her credit faster. I flat out told her we don’t do that, and she kept interrupting me mid-sentence and slammed her hand on the counter.

Like, if you’re a fucking boss and you get complaints from people, how can you be so fucking stupid to not take into consideration that they’re just unhappy, rancid ass people who want to feel superior to retail workers?

My point is…the narcissism and neediness and entitlement of customers in an era of dirt poor minimum wage is insane to me. Anyone who believes sitting down means a worker isn’t earning their pay has a mental problem. Like a serious ego issue that they should get therapy for.

#all you have to do is put your shit on the counter and I will ring it up #it’s not that hard to go shopping for chocolate

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inkushel29 · 5 months

Text

my opps (in order)

my art skills

dead ends on flash archiving

Pen Frens

Zeebarf

my 5:20 alarm clock every weekday morning

school

myself

femboys & traps (sorry some of y'all are weird)

twinks (except Orderly)

people who spam my messages with videos (except one mutual because I'm chill w/ them)

anatomy

getting started on a drawing

bara (male muscle proportions exceeded to inhuman and horrifying standards)

the NSFW art community

Canihavepromo aka Lottie (I hope she gets deplatformed fr)

any problematic interest artist/animator I really don't like

Stamper

people who perceive lesbians in THAT way (screw y'all)

BL Yaoi Manhwas

fujoshis

proshippers (or comshippers i have no fucking idea)

finding 0 fanart of shit I like (Ballads of Reemus & etc.)

Alphazekko getting cancelled for no reason

my right ear ringing for no reason

MHA fandom

my antisocial ass

my broken bed

scenecore aesthetic and its music

instagram reel comment sections

my autistic ass for making my weirdass posts

Sia

Zeebarf for being in the NFT community

NFTs & AI

down bad mfs in comment sections

tumblr p0rn bots

my goofy ass being scared of showers

Calobi Productions

TikTok

Alex Emery's Wizard Hunt part 3 not being made

Queers of War for disappointing and traumatizing me

procrastination

the anime community in general

animating

myself trying to animate on flash cs6 but failing

Spazkid for drawing underage sonic characters and not finishing Nightmare Cops

my chronically online ass

Ipad kids

skibidi toilet (I still meme it)

my forgetful ass

finding out a person I like is an absolute piece of shit

myself again

vent people (sorry)

cutecore aesthetic

Roblox (i still play it tho)

sketchers united/pop jam kids

shitty clickbait youtube thumbnails

youtube kids

rule 34 content on youtube

content farm videos on youtube

Youtube (i still watch it)

myself again for making this list too goddamn long when it didn't need to be

uhhhhhh

the Pokemon community

people using the Pixar Mom term in the wrong way (a lot)

Discord

having to sleep early because my parents tell me to

people who harass others for no reason

Miguel O'Hara stans

myself for forgetting to start/finish shit (not school related)

my fatass self

BookTok/White woman who are obsessed with dark romance books

bad Webtoons

those AI disney mockup posters

MCYT fandom

Countryhumans fandom

TikTok art community

Twitter art community

almost any art community that's shit

l0lic0ns & sh0tac0ns (PLEASE FUCK OFF.)

this list for being too long

Nitrile & his weirdass tr@p obsession (he collaborated with Shadman and drew Mandy from Billy & Mandy as a femboy in a very suggestive way. And sometimes drew femboys that looked like children. So yeah fuck him.)

Shadman (OBVIOUSLY)

Zone for ruining The Modifyers and any cartoon in general (they got away with sexualizing minors so idk how y'all looked past that)

Jaystation

my goofy ass for staying up too late

humanizations of non-human characters being skinny white cis young anime boys

my goofy ass for being unoriginal

my goofy ass for still writing on this dang list

Gross people on Spacehey who ruin everything

FNF fandom (kind of)

FNF creepypasta mods (Sonic.exe)

Twitter/X in general

my little brother when he has a tantrum

night terrors

Astrology girls

people who use their autism/disability for a defense mechanism/excuse for when they get called out for something bad they've done

Stamper again (how tf can you be racist and fetishize WOC at the same time nevertheless you're still racist fuck you)

A Small Favor not getting it's chapter 3/final chapter and the story getting reimagined instead of finished

family vlog channels

people who hurt animals for clout

captioning my youtube videos by myself

editing my videos bc its hard

people doing stupid shit for clout in general

MojoMontebon's character Trixie (I don't like her she scares me)

finding out an artist I like is an absolute piece of shit

people who hate selfship/ oc x canon artists (leave em alone theyre just doing what makes them happy)

Your Boyfriend Game

YBG Fandom

the creator of Your Boyfriend Game

redesign vids where the final redesign is actually shit

false allegations

Apphumans community

Deviantart

Fetish artists

ok I think that's it thanks for reading I added WAY too much on this list.

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cycloptics · 5 months

Text

This is basically a diary entry that gets dark but maybe it’s onto something? I needed it okay

Basically I’m just talking about art and being autistic and quitting my job after hitting burnout

And also some personal traumatic shit I guess

Please don’t feel inclined to read this if you don’t want to I think I just needed to put out my real fucking feelings into the world ya know?

Something really crazy has happened since I hit burnout.

I spent forever hating every piece of art I did, whether it was painting, drawing, or nail art. I’ve hated all of it, never thought I was good enough. I still don’t, of course, but I do atleast feel like I see potential during the process.

But now, since I’ve got the support of people who love my work, or love me, I’m able to look at it again (after a break of hyperfocus) and I can say “okay.. wow, that’s pretty good. I like that.” And that’s fucking HUGE! But what’s even crazier is I looked back and old work I did, work that sat in my sketchbooks abandoned forever, and I am like holy shit. I did that. And I love that.

I painted this in 2019-2020, I’m not even sure when, but I remember being in my apartment, I remember this being one of those pieces where I was desperate to make art. I desperately looked for ways to make a living doing art, just so I’d be able to paint. I bought a Wacom pen and a laptop, I was determined to learn digital art.. and I hated it. Then I bought an iPad and Apple Pencil, still didn’t love digital art. Then someone said “you should do nails” and I thought it was perfect. Then I went to school and did that. Worked my ass off. Went to the best salon in my area and worked there, killing myself and burning myself out in the process, trying to be perfect.

**TW: death, PTSD, loss of a pet, loss of a parent, hospitals**

Then my cat got sick, and even though I syringe fed him prescription food and cat pedialyte, gave him meds, and tried everything, he died.

Then a week later my dad tore his Achilles and ended up in the hospital with 2 DVTs and a PE. He then fought for 2 months to stay alive for us. I watched my dad code and survive multiple times, spent Christmas in ICU with him on a bipap to breathe, watched him lose his fucking mind, praying to god, almost fighting god, seizing, shaking, crying, desperately kissing me and my brothers heads while not being able to say anything other than beg god. I tried everything I could to bring his mind back, because it was my dads biggest fuckin fear was losing his mind. I brought pictures and showed him.. the guilt I feel for going to work while my dad was in the fucking hospital. The calls I got. The way he begged me to break him out of there, and I will always regret not doing that. I’ll never forget it the faces my dad made, the sounds he made, when delirium took over and he was so scared, and looked nothing like himself. Covered head to toe in bruises and restrained to the bed, because they tried to put a Bipap on him when he was sleeping. I’ll never forget seeing how broken my dad was, a man who was so prideful and stubborn, and whose biggest nightmare came true when his youngest daughter had to help him use the bathroom. The way my dad never wanted to seem weak, and the way my stepmom humiliated him. The way she made him sound so pathetic to the doctors that they gave him too much oxygen constantly, because she said he couldn’t do anything without almost suffocating. The way she lied and said he was on 2 liters every night, because that’s how she got her oxygen. She was on 2 liters. My dad refused to use it. The way that him getting too much oxygen made his COPD worse. How that’s what ended up being the cause of death. Not the blood clots that I was so terrified of, that it was COPD. I’ll never forget New Year’s Day and me having full blown OCD had texted everyone in my family begging them not to do laundry because it would mean my dad would die, and finding out my stepmom did laundry because she isn’t superstitious.. then that day finding out my dad was never gonna make it out. I’ll never forget moving to comfort care, and trying to make sure my dad heard all his favorite songs as we all said goodbye to him, or the fact that when it came down to it, my dad was taken off of everything and still refused to die in front of his kids. That my brother made us leave. And he died soon after we left the room. I’ll never forget falling asleep and swearing I’d hear his voice. Crying to Al green in my car. Going fully nonverbal after he died. I thought I knew death because my mom died, but I was wrong. I didn’t know death was so fucking UGLY.

Probably the worst part of death is finding out that it’s so fucking gutwrenchingly ugly. it’s so rarely peaceful. The portrayals I saw of it or heard of it, those were coping mechanisms from grieving people just hiding the reality of it.

I also can’t forgive my stepmom for cremating my dad when he had a literal plot next to my mom, with a headstone my grandfather carved (family biz was monuments) or the fact that she told everyone he didn’t want a funeral.

My dad would never have deprived his kids of the opportunity to grieve him properly.

So I don’t have his ashes, we never did any service, and I’m still pretty fucking fucked up from it.

Then two weeks later one of my best friends died, she was the same age my mom was, with kids the same ages me and my brothers were when my mom died, and she died suddenly with no warning, just like my mom. Her parents called me to tell me. Her dad a week before had reached out to see how I was doing when my dad passed. The universe really is funny that way.

Then another friend died, liver failure. Fucking what? And I couldn’t go to that funeral because I had to work, and I had already taken off too much time for all the other deaths. Couldn’t be the sad employee with all the dead friends and family members apparently. And it gnawed at me that I let work keep me from being with my dad when he was dying, that I missed a funeral because of the pressure to be at work, that I was having breakdowns during nail appointments and only heard about how fucking slow I was.

So I quit my fuckin job. And I regret nothing.

Am I broke as fuck? YES. Have I figured out how to make money for real? Nope. Have I listed anything? Nope. But I will.

Because burnout really taught me that I know what my real passion is in life and what makes me happy, and it’s fucking paint. And art supplies. And doodles. And hyper focusing on something and picking it apart for hours and not having someone over my shoulder telling me I’m too slow, or it’s not good enough.

I’m still in burnout, but if I didn’t hit it, I’d never have allowed myself to heal. I’d never have let myself focus on my actual needs, because I never let them matter. Just had to be a machine that did perfect work to make money for others while I took enough to pay my bills.

And tbh, I’m fine with only getting by, as long as I am doing something I actually enjoy.

Anyway. This started about me realizing that I don’t absolutely suck at art, but I think I really just needed to let out all of these feelings without worrying about anyone else’s. I people pleased through grief. What a dumb thing to do. Fuck masking. Fuck it. I’m done.

#actually autistic #burnout #artists on tumblr #neurodivergent #nail art #painting #kiki's delivery service #grief #complex ptsd #ptsd recovery

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tosye · 1 year

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alright i did not want to clog the tl with my art ramblings but. at this point i honestly don’t know what to do jshdhdjdjdjd any advice is more than welcome!!

soooo i’ve been in the worst kind of artblock for like two months now (which is the longest any of my art blocks ever lasted so that’s. def contributing to me feeling bad). the thing is that i can clearly see how much i’ve improved with anatomy and technique and actually observing stuff yet still. i don’t like it?? i haven’t liked any of my pieces for a while now?? which fuxking SUCKS ASS LET ME TELL YOU

granted i have been trying to switch things up quite a bit lately and maybe it’s just me readjusting to the new workflow?? maybe it’s that even tho i feel kinda confident in this workflow already?? i did switch form a 10.2 ipad to a huge and i mean HUGE display tablet in the beginning of nov too and i know a lot of folks suffer a weird learning curve over the course of getting used to the new setup but then again. i feel like i’m already past that 1.5 months later?? another thing is that. inside of me there are two wolves snbdjdjdjd one wants to go really realistic and the other wants to simplify shit and i’m just. so torn between the two I HATE IT HERE ANDHHXBDJDJD

so there are just. a couple of different things going on at the same time and i’ve been trying to both wait and work this through and. neither seems to be working?? idk if i’m not seeing SOMETHING or if it’s just. gonna be like that for a while but. if anyone has any thoughts/advice for me please PLEASE share ILL DO ANYTHING AT THIS POINT LMAO

#god literally said this bitch would be too powerful if she could be happy with what she makes sndhbdhsjdj #i know i’ve had this kind of slump before and i too shared it here #but this one just. feels different?? i did go through the comments on the other one #and they did work the last time but. not this time which is. so uplifting mhmhm feels so good #i know that there’s no one that’s a bigger critic of my art than i myself am #but still it just. doesn’t feel good to not like what i make after such a long period of loving my own art #that semi hiatus i’ve been on. yeah it’s bc of this slump im in #tosye talks

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qnfarc · 2 years

Note

Hello legend it's so late rn so if you have notifs on this is my apology note but let me know how the bookstore went today!! Or if you ended up seeing anything you liked / bought 👀 I had a little look at my reading list (it's my 10 year old ipads iBooks app full of downloaded pdfs. I update it like every 8 months from my folder of screenshots of anyone praising any book ever) and I have a few extra little recs if you ever find yourself stuck for something. I say that like we both probably don't have 100s of recs already but ignore that fact.

The most promising to me looked like "the elephant in the brain" which talks about hidden motives in everyday life (according to the synopsis 💀). I do enjoy a good insight on the mind now I will say big enjoyer. I've got some Carl Jung books in this list as well but I feel like I need to get back in the habit of reading before I start biting off those pieces. It's gonna take every brain cell in my head to pull together on it and I just don't have that capacity rn bye. Another sexy read looks to be "permenant record" by Edward Snowden who basically worked for some national intelligence company and a few years back leaked some fucked up tracing shit they were doing on consumers. Gotta love being reminded about my internet footprint, god I hate the thought. Might be practically common knowledge in that book at this point, not sure but it sounded promising! On a fiction note I'm like 2/3s in (on/off for the last literal year) "the babysitter" by Phoebe Morgan. I quite like it, it's weird to read something in first person but you get used to it quick enough. It's about a girl who was babysitting (we're all shocked) who got murdered on the job (now we're actually shocked) and basically following the case, but following one suspect more than others. I can't say if it's actually going to be predictable or not because I haven't got there (and at this rate I might never make it) but it's an easy read and an enjoyable one!

Bye I wish I had this knowledge in the morning for you this is so sad but I hope you picked up something good for yourself! I love the idea of getting a rec like this and going off and reading it's so sweet 😭😭😭 I wish I had more to offer you here and not just the vibes of books goodbye but hopefully something in these recs strikes your fancy. I know I said this earlier but literally flood with me with as many recs as you want, it might take genuine years but I'll read them no doubt 😼 I actually really need to cut down on my screentime these days (I hit 9 hours this week in one day 💀💀 and I don't want to know how, I'm blaming Spotify podcasts. I'm gonna find out it doesn't count time when the screens off and just genuinely scream) / expand my ever depreciating attention span once more, so reading sounds so sexy rn 😍 enjoy the upcoming weekend legend we got MCC day up and coming. I also hope the internship slaps so far, I'm so excited for you!! I'm wishing you the nicest coworkers, supervisor, manager, the chefs working the cafeteria, the whole team I hope they're lovely and make your time even more enjoyable!! I will catch up properly with you soon, I actually started responding to your ask from like two months ago today 😭 I'm really out here causing us the biggest time delay in conversations it's unbelievable, but I will chat to you soon legend!! Have a good day <33

Hello hello, no need to apologise, always happy to hear from you ^_^ I went very nicely, package was basically presents for my friends but I did end up finding and buying Almond! Walking around in bookstores is a trap for real tho, I had the urge to buy such a big stack of books and start reading immediately. Definitely took some photos of titles to look around online for them, buying from websites always will end up cheaper than in actual bookstore after all. Thanks to that gotta get reading vibe I got I finally got around to cleaning up somewhat and adding stuff to my reading list on storygraph account I made a long while ago and it ended up being 200+ positions and that's definitely not all of them even 😭 I'm such a book collector tbh I love having physical copies of books but I also always fear I'll end up not liking what I bought and waste money... Seeing photos of other people's bookshelves filled with manga or books always makes me want to spend so much money and have similar sized collection 😭 I'll add all your recs to my tbr and definitely read them at one point! I'm also big fun of psychology and mind insights! Similarly horror isn't really my thing but psychological thrillers? Yes 😍 I'm struggling with finishing Girl on the train for a year or two now... It's alright, just not a big fun of how much antagonising each other there is between female characters when chapters are from their povs like understandable but also tiring to read through in my experience. I also really like the idea of giving someone book, music or any other recs, it gives me quality time love language feel, wanting to include someone in something, it's very sweet! I definitely will end up giving you more recs especially cause it's summer so still more time to indulge yourself. Especially cause I often just get a little overwhelmed with how much different interesting media there is to consume, like books, anime & manga, tv shows, movies, games and so many sub genres to all of it, gives me "WOW creation!!!" feeling! I really need to cut down too, mostly yt but the moment I actually end up opening twt or tiktok it ends up such a big time consumer when I could get some nice reading in (I also end up reading fanfics from recs but still some actual books couldn't hurt 💀), definitely would appreciate longer attention span. I also spent longer than usual on genshin with new areas opened to explore for summer event, looks very nice and time really flies when you play 😔 There was MCC yesterday🧍🏻‍♀️...I completely forgot, literally remembered somewhere around midnight and checked twitter to see who won. Feeling conflicted cause on the one hand I always have my fingers crossed for George win but if he and his team ended up winning that one MCC when I forgot about it I would feel so annoyed 😐 Also heard there was some drama with noxcrew and dream and I try to be fair but when many players end up voicing displeasure over glitches in games or the way games are constructed than throwing it all as just biased complaining and hate is definitely not what I would expect from people who should care about feedback and enhancing the players and viewers experience, very immature move in my opinion especially with community that is so vast in people with a lot of knowledge about mechanics and creativity to resolve issues or propose ideas for modyfing games. And thank you, it pretty small team so everyone is understanding and nice, definitely enjoyable so far! After I read what was going on in your place, I'm so happy you had opportunity to get away from that quick, definitely more stressful environment than it should be! I also had opportunity to work remotely so I could go home for some time and finally have opportunity to go to hairdresser on Tuesday so maybe I'll fulfill my ideas of changing hair colour for a while, dark purple sounds kinda fun and cute 🤔 And no worries, take your time, it's always worth it to read your thoughts ^_^ Have a nice Sunday and week sunshine 💛

(also sorry if I answered twice, last answer didn't want to publish and I didn't save so I ended up having to type it out again, hopefully it'll work now)

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