#just feels kind of unfair and reductive a lot of the time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

marciabrady · 2 months

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Idk if it's a generation thing with zoomers being clueless about what the Disney fandom was like before they got into it but I've seen so many people deny that anyone was ever presenting faux feminist critiques of the princesses, esp Walt's girls. But I don't even understand why they deny it, it's become a huge phenomenon you still see today and it takes only 5 seconds to use Google and find thousands of articles, memes, videos, comments, etc calling the girls weak and sexist. I feel it stems from these fans just not caring about the particular princesses who tend to be hated on and don't notice the unfair hate because their focus has always been on the popular, safe princesses (ie Mulan or Moana or whoever). If any of that makes sense lol. Just wondering your thoughts!

There's a very apt characterization of what occurred and it definitely comes down to a few things. The first being that a lot of these people didn't really have a strength of sentiment, one way or the other, for the original girls and just kind of assumed and inherited a lot of the misogynistic undercurrents in those contemporary, popular social criticisms that were parading around as feminism. I think a lot of those people pretended to have that passionate, spirited outlook on why Walt's girls were reductive somehow, while never really having had that opinion themselves. Most of those people didn't really spend much time consuming or thinking about their films, but did so because they felt it aligned themselves with being progressive or having a good social image.

There are some people that genuinely did seem to have seen those movies at least once and continued to carry that outlook, but it never really seems to be rooted in anything we see in the films themselves. Those people tend to just view every woman that was prominent prior to the 1960s with the same reductive paint-stroke and feel they were all victims of being socialized in a different time (which is so stupid lol if it weren't for the women that lived in that era, we never would have gotten the social movements we have today, nor the progress we have in each of them; but many people have told me "all woman born before the 1950s are inherently sexist because they're victims of what the system was like" which...). Then, there are people who- again- have seen these movies, but tend to condemn Walt's girls and pin them as a symbol of everything that was anti-feminist of that time, as opposed to actually judging them for the contents of their character. I'll never forget a book I bought at a used store called "Where the Girls Are," because it talked about female representation in the media and harked back to one of my favorite film titles. I was shocked when I read the book and it talked about how Cinderella in such shallow, mean-spirited terms. It brought up so many questions...the author writes that Cinderella had to be attractive, but wasn't allowed to be vain or spend a good deal of her film primping in front of mirrors- and I uploaded a good deal of screencaps to the contrary, but then it ran through my mind...if the author had been aware of that side of Cinderella, she probably would've condemned that too and called her materialistic or looks-obsessed. So it isn't really about what Cinderella herself did or was, but ultimately the author must've just held her up as an unfair expectation of what she, as a woman, was meant to live up to and made Cinderella a figure of all of her childhood frustration. That tends to be the case with a lot of boomers that grew up with Cinderella, and even kids today that write sympathetic backstories for blatantly abusive characters, like Anastasia; they emphasizing with her, despite all of her privilege and the atrocities she's committed, because she would be conventionally unattractive in our world and they project onto her what she must feel and what her lived experience would be, while discounting Cinderella- because she's conventionally attractive in our world- as being shallow or having privilege. It really is a fascinating study of how people view the world, which can be surmised through their view of the characters and how they react to them.

Which, and I have to make this note, but I'll truly never understand how Cinderella, the story about a female orphan who suffered abuse her entire life and continues to build a community and resources for herself so that she can escape and transcend her circumstances, has been painted through history to be a story about women being meek and staying in their place and being complacent and perpetuating so many patriarchal ideals about marrying rich and feminine beauty??? Especially when that wasn't Cinderella's goal, but the goal of the stepsisters who are always putting themselves in competition with Cinderella and are actively wanting to marry money and take a much greater delight in material riches.

#ask #anonymous

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iamnmbr3 · 1 year

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ugh. getting so tired of how the feminine is considered inferior. how being a woman or someone of another sex/gender who is "too" feminine automatically makes ppl look down on u and makes the world less safe. how traveling is so much harder and u have to constantly be on ur guard for a potential threat to ur safety. how u can't just trust a stranger complimenting u or starting a conversation bc if u don't brush them off it might put u in danger. how u have to constantly be on ur guard and assessing like ur living in a horror movie or smthing. and yeah obviously there's other circumstances/groups this applies to as well in certain contexts. but u know what I mean?

how women are encouraged to model their behavior and appearance off of what would be pleasing to the male gaze but it's not the same for men. men get to decide how women should be to be attractive but then they also get to decide how men should be. women are told what kind of men they should be attracted to and if they are attracted to a different image of masculinity or a different kind of man or not attracted to men at all then they are Othered and looked down on.

(and it’s not even all men making the decision. it’s like this subset of men. like the men who aren’t like this don’t get a voice either. and the more a man deviates from what masculinity is “supposed” to be the more they are silenced. men who aren’t straight/cis/traditionally masculine often don’t get to be part of the convo).

an actress that has lots of male fans who think she’s sexy is considered successful. but if a male actor has too many female admirers it’s viewed as tho he’s not a serious actor or lesser somehow or as if it’s a joke. probably partly bc a lot of times the male actors with huge female followings are the ones that fit the female gaze and don’t fit the traditional conceptions of masculinity that women are “supposed” to be attracted to. and thus deserve to be punished. which is unfair to them as well.

and it’s self perpetuating in a way bc it’s an excuse to mock and degrade men and other genders who don’t fit this toxic mold. maybe partly bc the things that are sexy according to the so-called female gaze (and I don’t really like that word either bc I feel like it’s very reductive and gendered and generalizing and stereotyping but im using it for lack of a better term) are more difficult. like being respectful or cultured or smart etc takes work. and requires giving agency to the other person too. being powerful and just taking what u want is easy. so it’s better to pretend that that makes u a ‘real’ man or something instead of just a jerk.

and yeah. it’s just tiring. how society punishes anyone who doesn’t fit this certain specific conception of “masculinity.” (which really has NOTHING to do with masculinity and everything to do with rebranding certain behaviors as somehow being sexy and justified and natural instead of just being a jerk. bc c’mon. the truth is men are perfectly capable of being empathetic and mature and compassionate and calm and respectful and controlled. being aggressive and arrogant and hotheaded and selfish and pushy isn’t manly or masculine. it’s just being a jerk.

#anyone I don’t know if this makes sense but u feel me?#feminism #sexism #rants #women #gender #random musings

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prettyboysdontlookatexplosions · 2 years

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i think we should all be blaming corporations less and feeling uncomfortable about our lifestyles more climate-wise and every little bit counts and also that private jets should like probably be banned and it’s fine to cyberbully celebrities about their private jets. however! this post bugs me partly because i think it’s an unfair characterization of OP’s thread (which you can agree with or not but came across pretty clearly to me as being about their climate opinions and not a defense of taylor swift), but mostly because i think it shows kind of a failure to grapple with scale. like, it can both be true that taylor swift is responsible for 2000 times the emissions of the average american… and that 2000 times the emissions of the average american is also actually by itself in the absence of other factors a borderline meaningless drop in the bucket re: emissions overall. here are two math situations to illustrate this:

(1) i’m using stats from different years and varied sources because whatever this isn’t a paper and also i’m not linking anything because it’s a fucking pain to do it on a tablet but if anyone cares about my sources i will provide them but also this is unrebloggable because that stupid medieval peasants post is STILL haunting my notes so like whatever. but. in the US aircraft are responsible for ~3% of total emissions. private jets as per one study are responsible for ~4% of all aviation emissions. putting those together, private jets are responsible for (approximately) 0.12% of US emissions. just over a tenth of one percent. i mean, that’s a lot for a thing that no one actually needs and that is stupid and should be illegal. but it is absolutely not on the scale of “meaningfully move the needle on climate change in either direction,” except insofar as every little bit counts, which it does.

(2) a new york times article from 2016 posited that if americans as a whole drove 10% fewer miles per year (assuming of course we are not replacing driving with private jets, lol), we could save 110 million tons of emissions. this would take, as per their estimate, an average reduction per american driver of 1350 miles per year. if taylor swift’s jet has produced ~8000 tons of emissions so far this year let’s say we’re about halfway through the year and it therefore produces ~16,000 tons fo emissions a year. i ran the numbers (and, again, will justify this mathematically for anyone who cares, but like, i doubt anyone does), and taylor swift abandoning all private jet usage for a year would save the equivalent emissions of the average american driver reducing their mileage that year by….. two tenths of one single mile. across the entire year. like. think about that. if you saw a headline that was like “we can meaningfully impact climate change by parking a block earlier than we arrive at our destination for a single week,” you’d be like, well that sounds fucking stupid. but that’s the max capacity of climate-improvement lying in the potential of taylor swift not using her jet.

and like, it’s totally bananas that an individual could theoretically make a choice that would be equivalent to something undertaken by ALL AMERICAN DRIVERS, no matter how small, and, again, private jets are bad, rich people are bad, they are excessively harmful to the planet and that’s bad, etc. but again: all that can be true, and it can still be absoutely 100% the case that “rich people doing dumb rich people shit” is in no way a major force propelling forward anthropogenic climate change, because there are numerically actually very few rich people. if all rich people tomorrow started living like average middle class americans and nothing else changed ever, we would still be completely and totally fucked! that’s what “taylor swift and kylie jenner are not driving climate change” means. it means that even if they got their act together, environmentally speaking, that would not be enough to set us firmly on the course to a less catastrophic future. which is like… true!

#i feel weird about this post bc again like. typically i am on the side of 'actually individual choices do kinda matter'#and also 'most policy decicsions that could make an impact would make an impact by changing the incentive structures for individual choices'#like one person's meatless mondays are whatever #but the government taxing beef such that it costs as much as lobster #that's a different story #but like #to say 'celebrity culture is a structural issue' is to like... misunderstand what a structural issue is and why climate change is happening

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numetalpuppygirl · 10 months

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I see your point and I'm really willing to agree with most of what you're saying. I admit that dubstep was a kind of meme answer. But if you're really willing to talk about this, then I have to say I simply disagree.

First of all I'm not trying to objectively present anything here. Art is a form of communication and as such can only be perceived subjectively. There is no objective to criticize art. Period.

That being said, you can absolutely apply hierarchy to this if you really wanted to. For example NSBM is a genre. Nazi Black Metal. Because of the statements of this genre, the participants and the aesthetic. It is inherently worth less than other forms of music. Especially since it tries to put other art down. The music itself does have a merit for its target audience and it does reach its intended purpose.

I fully understand where you're coming from with statements like this, because I used to think like this as well, but especially your focus on genres as set categories instead of loose relatives of similar roots and styles, is unhealthy, I think.

for sure this all gets hugely into subjective-land - i think that's pretty inevitable when discussing the rhetoric around anything. i've got my opinion about how we should talk about art, you've got yours, everyone's got theirs, such is how it goes. and i'll grant you that i probably do place too much value in genres as rigid categories! i just love to sort things, i'll admit it. but at the same time, these trends in the creation of music are still "real," in whatever sense one wants to accept, because the music itself is real and we can observe the patterns that exist within what we label as genres. if we stop accepting genres as something we can engage with as though they were more than just a name and a vague gesture, then the whole conversation has to switch to a much smaller scale where we talk about individual artists or even individual releases and the context around them, which can be valuable in its own right but is a different ballgame than the one we've been playing here. my argument is that we shouldn't criticize art by generalizing one genre to be inherently worse than another because it's reductive and unfair. that's all. the nuance that exists within discussion of any given genre remains untouched by my statement and equally as valuable as it would be under any other framework of viewing these topics.

as for NSBM...... that's tough. certainly it's a repulsive thing that exists, and i want to really stress that fact because of what i'm about to say next. so. FUCK ALL NAZIS FUCK ALL FASCISTS. to be clear. now, if we imagine my framework here, where all genres are, when observed in a vacuum, value-neutral with equal potential to produce good music and bad music, then that must include NSBM, right? and unfortunately, it does. because, as we agree, the evaluation and critical analysis of art is necessarily subjective, regardless of whether it's done on the level of the individual or by consensus. so despite the fact that ideologically NSBM is reprehensible, it is possible for a band in the genre to produce a record with a lot of technical skill and passion, and for someone to evaluate that record (again, subjectively) as being "good," if that person happened to be a shithead. evaluation of NSBM (and in fact the genre's existence in the first place) is not a damnation of the genre, because again the issue here is scale as well as subjectivity. it's instead a damnation of the broader political climate and like, the existence of vice within mankind, which is perhaps the most necessary thing out of any of this stuff to have discussions about, but is decidedly outside of the range of topics that i feel qualified to have a full intelligent conversation about in public.

#*char noises*#char asks #talking pop

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mourningmoth · 1 year

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the way in which people talk about consuming art also comes off as extremely hurtful and dismissive a lot of the time if im honest

for example, theres a sentiment i see repeated a lot on this site AND on other media networks where people simplify visual art to what you immediately see and not mention appreciating it at all or thinking about it beyond that, compared to appreciating something like writing, which requires a different mode of interaction

something like "ugh you only have to glance at fanart for a few seconds to consume it, compared to the hours of reading time you have to put in for fanfic" is an extremely reductive comparison, i feel

1. it really feels unnecessary to make comparisons such as this to begin with tbh, bc it only feels like trying to put down one form of art over another, which is pointless. writing is not inherently more valuable than visual art, and vice versa. writing and art by themselves are not more valuable than film by default, or vice versa. the measure of value being determined by the arbitrary amount of time itd take to experience it isnt a helpful or fair measure imo. they're just different skills and different mediums that make different final products, but can communicate the same concepts and experiences

2. honestly extremely disheartening to think that i can put work into a single piece for months off and on only to get reduced to a "glance" lol. like I don't mean to sound petty but i dont put all the time into art that i do so people can just not notice anything striking about it and move on without a second thought

3. do people seriously not zoom in to look at smaller details? they dont look at the colours or the lighting and how it interacts? you dont take in the tone, mood, atmosphere, composition, or symbolism? do u try to notice the technical skill involved or appreciate the brushstrokes and textures? examine decisions the artist made in the creation of the piece?

idk if ur only glancing at visual art for a few seconds, thats not consuming it in any meaningful way. thats not appreciating it. and doing that is nowhere near comparable to how one would consume a completely different medium of art. and i think its really unfair to compare a seemingly uncaring interaction like "glancing" to putting actual hours into interacting with a different form of art. the mediums are different and that means you have to consume and appreciate them in fundamentally different ways sometimes, and thats not a bad thing and it doesnt make some art "more art" than other forms, or more valuable. it also doesnt make the labour involved in the creation of art more or less valuable

as i said, something that took a 2-second glance for someone to "consume" probably took me many weeks of work, and i dont like feeling as though all that time i pour into artistry is for essentially nothing

theres also some stuff i could go into about the reduction of appreciating art to simple "consumption", but i do not have the mental faculties to articulate those thoughts rn so i wont. but anyway, this kind of sentiment isnt new or anything, its bugged me on every art sharing platform ever for years, but i feel as though theres a specific resurgence of art in-fighting like this due to the advent of ai content. thank u for coming to my ted talk

#writing and painting both take an immense amount of skill and effort and time #and every artists process is different #sure some people can crank out a fully rendered realism portrait in less than an hour but not everyone works like that #the dreamer is awake

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colorisbyshe · 2 years

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Does normalisation lead to representation? Or does representation lead to normalisation? Do you see media representation as an inherently assimilationist plight? Feel free to ignore, btw! I'd just like to read your thoughts on this. Among the discourses du jour, this one is the least toxic and one of the most interesting imo.

I feel like this flattens what representation really is, a bit.

Because, yeah, normalization leads to more representation. AND representation leads to normalization.

But I feel like this perspective of normalization = assimilation is extremely reductive. Because it assumes that all "representation" is done for and by the "normal" folk--for their edification and entertainment.

That every gay story told is told to normalize gayness for straight people--that every gay story is being told TO straight people, FOR straight people, to earn their validation... perhaps it's even done BY straight people to like... show off how progressive they are. They're a cool hetero who like, totally gets us, and wants other heteros to totally get us too.

Which certainly does happen. I feel relatively comfortable saying most mainstream "diversity" either is exactly that or veers close to it.

But this ignores how many stories are being told by a group of people... for their own kind. There's a nonbinary person out here writing a story so another nonbinary person knows what they feel is okay and that other people feel the same exact way. There's a person writing out their experiences with ZERO thoughts about how this will affect the community at large or how people view it, but just to say "This is the story I want to tell." This story isn't for an audience, it's for themselves.

Framing everything with the lens of "This is being done to normalize a marginalized experience so the oppressor eases off and is a bit more understanding, so we can have an easier time acting a certain way in public" ignores the myriad of other reasons why stories are told. And how many stories are told where the "normal" person who doesn't get it isn't in consideration AT ALL.

Bi zines made for and bi (heehee) bisexuals have existed for decades before Blaine Anderson said "I'd say "Bye" but I wouldn't wanna make you angry" in the Glee episode where he thinks he's bisexual for two minutes. Art has stayed within sub cultures for their own enrichment, not leaking out for a public who doesn't get it. Soooo much art relishes in its unrelatability to the General People and pushes the boundaries to ask "Who the fuck cares about what is or isn't normal?"

A lot of art exists just to share experiences or thoughts or philosophies or questions.

And a lot of art depicts things that the mainstream public will ignore BECAUSE it can't be assimilated. Shows and books and games that find their niches and explore the weirdness and taboo and stigma of certain groups or whatever.

Questions like yours, while well meaning, sort of present mainstream media as the totality of media. That art that exists primarily for profit and to accumulate accolades from the ruling classes/judging bodies (like award shows) represents all art. That the sterile stuff at the forefront--which might be about assimilation or might just be producing content around identities/parts of identities that already have been deemed "okay" or "tolerable"--is ALL art.

When there is soooooo much art that just isn't interested or like that at all.

And I feel like this is unfair because we don't use this lens on already privileged stories. Like we don't a movie about a middle class white girl trying to be a singer and go "Wow, they're trying to normalize singing careers. They must be fighting for the funding of the arts." MAYBE they are but that isn't where we take the dialogue. We just go "Girls voice goes brrrr" or whatever.

You know what I mean?

Can media be used to normalize or stigmatize? Yeah. Can the increased normalizatio or stigmatization of a group thus impact how they are represented in media? Absolutely. Can this be fueled by assimilationist attitudes? Sure thing. Will I sya this is true of ALL media? No. Not even most.

A lot of mainstream media, sure, but there's so much more to art and entertainment than like what you find on netflix or booktok.

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izzyliker · 2 years

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and i mean it isn’t some kind of a huge “think about why you think this” sanctimonious issue or anything i just personally find flattening izzy to being a stand in for homophobia or toxic masculinity hostile to gayness reductive and boring. i think his relationship w ed is extremely gay? i think he considers ed’s relationship w stede to be him like, making a clown out of himself, he’s becoming someone he’s not, he’s leaving IZZY behind, and yeah izzy ultimately wants power and to be important and cool and he considers himself as deserving of that because he’s ruthless and works hard and has done all the right things to earn the respect and trust of his captain, but like i think the unfairness of “i did everything right but now stede shows up and you like HIM more??” is like a whole thing for him.

like i feel like he’s very much of a play by the rules kind of guy. he sees things as being strictly defined a lot. he has no trouble betraying people so i don’t mean that he has MORALS or that he’s honest but i think he has a clear idea of cause and effect. so stede and ed makes absolutely zero fucking sense to him.

he’s got a superiority complex but he also sees himself as having earned things, like that he’s put in the work and he deserves what he sees to be the logical rewards. he deserves ed’s respect, he deserves his trust, he deserves his love. he should be the one running ed through with a sword. it should be him ed is baring his stomach and throat to. because he’s played by the rules and done everything right.

and he fucking hates stede because he’s disrespectful and he has an attitude and one of the first times they spoke he used izzy as a proxy(!) to tell ed to go fuck himself(!!) and despite this ed respects him and trusts him and izzy is LEFT OUT. he lost to stede the first time they met and he has not stopped losing to him SINCE. he’s jealous and miserable. he wants eds respect and attention so fucking bad but he won’t GIVE IT TO HIM. and he’s a petty bitch over it

#best wishes gargoyle king #ofmd

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cardentist · 3 years

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I haven’t been in the star trek fandom for very long (I’ve only just started binging the series in the last couple months), so it’s been pretty surprising to find out just how negative the perception of the reboot movies are.

this isn’t coming from the perspective of someone who grew up with the series, so it hit different for me than it might for people with a different relationship to TOS, but I thought it was genuinely clever and Respectful with how it was handled.

To quote leonard nimoy: “Well the alternative timeline gives them license to escape from canon concerns. I can’t see people saying ‘they shouldn’t do that because…’ or ‘that doesn’t tie in to such and such’ because it is a different time and place. Am I right about that?” [Link]

the entire Premise is that the original series happened as it was presented in TOS, but an event late in Spock’s life caused the creation of a parallel universe in which everyone’s lives were significantly altered through two key changes to the timeline. this gives them the freedom to Both revel in fanservice And explore different facets of the characters and their relationships.

the destruction of vulcan Vastly impacts the characters and the plot moving forward, and its a detail that a lot of people take issue with. but the emotional impact of sarek admitting Directly to spock that there is value in his humanity, that his feelings Aren’t wrong, that sarek married amanda because he Loved her cannot be understated. you can read all of these things into sarek as he was in the original series, but he Never had an open conversation about these things with spock. this creates a Believable and Rewarding change in their relationship, where we get to see a different facet of them Because of the changes made. and that’s exactly the appeal. showing us pieces of these characters that we never got in TOS that are nevertheless undeniably Them.

everyone is Different yes, but they’re also fundamentally the same people at their core and that matters.

kirk’s personality obviously takes the biggest change, with him experiencing trauma at a young age, losing his father, and having an implied abusive father figure after that point. he has a harsher personality in reaction to harsher conditions, he’s spikier and harder to love. but he’s also still fundamentally a Good person whose willing to risk everything to help people. he still has what made kirk prime a good captain and a good friend.

I’m not gonna say that it’s the most nuanced story in the world, but it explores a version of kirk that was born from even Less fortunate circumstances than kirk prime, exploring a kirk brimming with potential who learned to bite back after he was kicked down. exploring those themes of trauma and loss, of insecurity and growth, and coming to the conclusion that Fundamentally He Is Capable Of Good isn’t a Bad thing. you don’t have to like it, but his growth into a better person is The Point. they deepened his flaws (all of which were present in a less exaggerated form in TOS) To Show That Growth.

and then of course there’s his relationship with spock.

people are totally justified in not liking that they had a rough start to their relationship, I usually don’t like to see that kind of thing in reboots or hollywood adaptations either, but the way people talk about it is just unfair.

Yes kirk and spock and bones have a very strong relationship in TOS, they also already know each other by the time the show starts. to look at them having to learn to get to know and trust each other when they first meet and say that it’s Bad because they were already full on ride or die for each other in the og series is silly. TOS kirk and spock had to meet and fall in love with each other too, it didn’t just happen over night kings.

secondly, the entire point of the first movie is that Even With reality itself being altered to pull them apart they are fundamentally compatible people that are Bound to each other. they meet each other on bad terms because of circumstances outside of their control, and yet they’re still pulled into each other’s orbit and find the other slotting into place next to them as if they always belonged. one of the first things that spock prime says in the movie is “I am and always will be your friend,” spock and jim are Meant for each other and the movie goes out of its way to explain that. which is what makes it so Weird to see people complaining about how they don’t like each other.

it’s a Different relationship, but it’s absolutely no less steeped in yearning or queer subtext.

speaking of queer subtext ! some people are Very unhappy with spock’s relationship with uhura.

first thing I wanna say is that making the argument that they’re doing anything that the original series hasn’t done is just, completely untrue. kirk has fallen in love with more girls in the og series than he knew what to do with, leonard nimoy was a heartthrob in his time (and he deserves it, awooga) and spock reflects that ! Spock usually turns the women who come onto him down (or when he doesn’t it’s because a plant has literally altered his mind), but there are exceptions to even that. all of three of the main boys have plenty of romance subplots, it happens. if that takes the possibility of them being queer off the table for you (which it shouldn’t, m-spec people exist) then I’m sorry to say that TOS is not exempt.

now, I can understand why Specifically This Relationship could rub people the wrong way or being disappointed that they didn’t outright depict kirk and spock as having a relationship (if not in the first movie then in the following ones after they’ve gotten to know each other), but even in that context the way I’ve seen people talk about it comes off as insensitive.

no, the relationship did not come out of nowhere. they considered having spock and uhura date each other in the original show (and you can see signs of this in the earlier episodes, where uhura very obviously flirts with him and they spend time together in their down time) before they decided against it, and spock was originally going to kiss uhura until shatner insisted that he wanted to do it (because it was the first interracial kiss on tv). [Link 1, Link 2, Link 3]

nichelle nichols was asked about this exact thing (spock and uhura’s relationship in the movie), you can read the interview in full here [Link] but I’d like to highlight this paragraph in particular:

“Now, go back to my participation in Star Trek as Uhura and Leonard (Nimoy) as Spock. There was always a connection between Uhura and Spock. It was the early 60’s, so you couldn’t do what you can do now, but if you will remember, Uhura related to Spock. When she saw the captain lost in space out there in her mirror, it was Spock who consoled her when she went screaming out of her room. When Spock needed an expert to help save the ship, you remember that Uhura put something together and related back to him the famous words, “I don’t know if I can do this. I’m afraid.” And Uhura was the only one who could do a spoof on Spock. Remember the song (in “Charlie X”)? Those were the hints, as far as I’m concerned.”

the film makers looked at the fact there were Hints for uhura and spock, that they were Interested in exploring an interracial couple for the first time (both before and immediately after interracial couples won the right to legally get married) but Couldn’t because of the circumstances of the times and decided to Make that depiction. you don’t have to Like their relationship just because of that fact, but it’s Incredibly reductive to play down it’s significance as just a No Homo cop out. explicitly queer relationships are not the only progressive or culturally important relationships in fiction.

moreover, if you can’t imagine polyamory in the communist utopian future that’s on you.

moreover, this perception that this was a soulless cash grab is just, unfounded.

leonard nimoy returned to the role as spock for the first time in 16 years (since 1991) and this was Entirely because of the respect they had for nimoy, spock as a character, and the franchise as a whole.

Lets look at some quotes from nimoy in interviews regarding the film:

Leonard Nimoy: When I first read the script (...) I immediately contacted J.J. and said “I think it is terrific…I think you guys have done a wonderful job. There is still work to be done, but it is very clear that you and your writers know what you are doing and you know how to do this movie and know what it should be about….and I am very interested.” Then as time went by we worked things out with Paramount, but the most important things were J.J. and the script. (...) I am very pleased about that and I am very comfortable with where this is going. I think the writers have done a terrific job. They have a real sense of the characters and the heart of Star Trek and what it is really all about.

(...)

TrekMovie.com: Now in the case of the new movie you have been retired from acting for years. What was it about this one that made you want to act again and go through the make up again? What was it that made you say ‘I really want to do this?’

Leonard Nimoy: You are right, this is a special situation. First it is Star Trek and so I have to pay attention. I owe that to Star Trek. Second place is that it is J.J. Abrams who I think very highly of, he is a very talented guy. Then came the script and it was very clear that I could make a contribution here. The Spock character that I am playing, the original Spock character, is essential and important to the script. So on the basis of those three elements it was easy to make the decision. So those three things: Star Trek, J.J. Abrams, and an interesting Spock role.

[Link]

Praising the cast playing younger versions of characters from the original 1960s TV series, he [Leonard Nimoy] said: “Let me take the opportunity to say this. Everybody at this table [the cast] are very, very talented and intelligent people.”

“They found their own way to bring that talent and intelligence to this movie, and I think it shows. (...) When Karl Urban introduced himself as Leonard McCoy and shook hands with Chris Pine, I burst into tears. That performance of his is so moving, so touching and so powerful as Doctor McCoy, that I think D. Kelley would be smiling, and maybe in tears as well.”

“The makers of this film reawakened the passion in me that I had when we made the original film and series. I was put back in touch with what I cared about and liked about Star Trek, and why I enjoyed being involved with Star Trek. So, it was an easy way to come on home.”

“[In this Star Trek] they said things and showed me things, and demonstrated the sensibility that I felt very comfortable with, and I think that shows in the movie. I like it.”

[Link 1, Link 2]

again, you don’t have to like it just because leonard nimoy did, you don’t have to Agree. but the idea that nobody working on the film Cared is provably false. near everyone working on the project was already a fan of the series or were excited to be involved and did their homework. it’s genuinely a Miracle just how much of a labor of love this was, and in my opinion you can feel that through the movie itself. I’d highly recommend looking into interviews and behind the scenes details about the movies. they had a respect not just for the source material, but for leonard nimoy as a person.

there’s definitely more I Could say about this, but it’s 4 am now so I’m gonna shelve it jklfdsa

that said! it’s Fine to not like the movie, not everything is going to be suited to everyone’s taste, but the specific criticisms I’ve seen feel very off base

#star trek #kirk #spock #uhura #nichelle nichols #leonard nimoy #star trek aos #aos #star trek tos #tos #meta #long post #hello followers I write essays about star trek now

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whentherewerebicycles · 3 years

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I've seen you talk abt the youthsss and black and white morality before & it made me think, because (I think?) you teach college, & I feel like I wasn't really able to start grasping actually messy/complicated realities until I had graduated and lived in the world a bit longer. I think the internet has led lots of young people to really strong verbiage around things and by nature of being young and starting to have stronger convictions I think it gets mobilized as a more binary yes/no response that they're encouraged to champion. idk if it's any consolation (or if u even want consolation!) but I really felt like I changed most dramatically in the few years after college when I left the bubble. you're doing important work to help kids break out of it sooner tho!!! I just want to add some hope that so much of it is sort of age related or development in my own experience. luv all ur thoughts on this stuff as always!

oh for sure!! I think you’ve articulated it so well here. it’s absolutely a phase in people’s lives where we are so unshakably confident in our convictions—probably because underneath we are so unsure of who we are and are doing SO much grappling with those big questions of: what kind of person am I? what do I believe? who do I want to surround myself with? who am I away from my family/hometown for the first time (both both physically away but also emotionally trying to disentangle yourself from your upbringing)? I feel like it’s such an emotionally tumultuous time and in many ways such a scary time, because a lot of our bedrock certainties about the world and ourselves are being challenged for the first time, and we’re going through a new stage in the painful, messy, exhilarating-but-terrifying process of individuation.

I was talking about this with my best friend (who is a high school teacher), and we were discussing how one of the strange things about teaching the same age group for a long time is that you don’t get to see any of the growth that happens after that life phase. and then you also see that very specific life phase over and over and over again, with each year bringing you a fresh new crop of kids who are going through the same phase as the last group. I think for me that can create this false impression in my mind that nobody is growing at all—they’re all just cycling through the same conflicts and getting stuck in the same stubborn black-and-white certainties over and over again. I’m not sure I’m articulating that well, but when I’m feeling cranky or ungenerous my feeling is kind of like, “oh my god, they never change!!! they never grow!!!” which is unfair to kids, lol, because it’s not their fault that I’ve seen ten years of kids go through the same cycle! for me it’s the tenth time but for them it’s all brand new! it’s why I sometimes wonder if it would be good to move around more between age groups, just to give myself a deeper understanding of how the self evolves through these different life stages. when I only look at my tiny little slice of people’s lifecycles it’s easy to get stuck in the same black-and-white certainties that often frustrate me in the kids I teach, lol.

I also just think maybe I can work on deepening my empathy and compassion for kids, too—like prioritizing empathy and curiosity in the way I narrate my classroom experiences to myself and others, and also practicing that savoring mindset of just, like, consciously noticing and taking time to value those little moments where you see a spark of growth, or where you can feel a kid really genuinely (and courageously!) trying to grapple with complexity without falling back on easy but reductive certainties. because those moments absolutely happen all the time, but my perception of what is happening and the story I tell myself about it is shaped by what I pay attention to, and it can be easier (but lazier/less honest) to pay attention only to the negative or the frustrating aspects. anyway this is all to say: this was a very good ask, and it’s giving me some things to think about!!

#I need only think back to my own bullheaded certainties in college lol #it’s mortifying!!

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dogsliampaynedoesntinstagram · 3 years

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Hi Ralph. Thank you so much for your reply about attending shows. You took time to give me a really thoughtful reply and I appreciate all your thoughts and links. As you said, I don’t have to make up my mind immediately.

I’ll keep on watching, reading, thinking, and feeling and I’ll hopefully come up with a choice I’ll feel comfortable with. It’ll be hard to say no if I come to that decision (which I feel will probably happen), I feel like I’ve been holding on for this to happen, to feel the joy I am so lucky to have felt at a Harry show before (and I really wouldn’t mind (would prefer) it being fully masked joy), but we’ll see.

I am extremely fortunate to have both my doses and to be in a position to even consider attending a show, I know. We’ll see what the next few weeks bring, but cases seem to be surging in a lot of place in the US. I don’t know what it’ll mean for tour decisions but more importantly people’s lives.

It’s been difficult for me (like many others I imagine) to not be able to imagine what the nearby future can look like. I really don’t mean to whine, I am so so so lucky, but Harry’s show felt like a light at the end of the tunnel for a very difficult year. Once again, I know my year was cake compared to others.

I have to reiterate again that I am luckier than billions of people just for being vaccinated and I know this. I’m lucky I’m alive, have work, can even consider travel, etc. I have every one of my basic needs met and more. I’m just looking for joy, and it’s unfair to complain about not having it (or rather having it depend on a concert, but I’ve been so alone) when people are struggling so much for so many reasons. I just want to say thank you again for taking your time for me. I appreciate you and your response.

I hope you have a good rest of your day.

Hi anon,

Thanks for coming back - and I'd be really curious about what you decide to do and how it goes. So you're welcome back anytime to tell me.

I think what you say about how hard it has been and still is that we can't imagine what the future will be.

You talk about how lucky you are, and I'm sure that's true. But I also think it's important to reiterate that this has been an incredibly difficult time for everyone. And that everyone has done all sorts of extraordinary things to protect other people. And I really hope you can have the joy of a Harry concert - although I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you.

And what I want to most emphasise is that you're desire to go to a concert and experience joy is a real and important need that should be valued and taken seriously. It is totally fair for you to complain about it, and the fact that people suffer in other ways doesn't make it any less valid or important.

One of the many horrific things about living in the UK during the pandemic was that as well as kind of actively wanting people to die, the government also made it clear that it didn't give a shit about it's needs.

I went 11 weeks without having a conversation in person and at every point of locking and unlocking I went through it was clear that people's social needs were being treated with contempt. There were huge campaigns of shaming and hatred directed at people at the beach, one of the safest places to be. It didn't need to be like that. (In May 2020, Julia Marcus wrote a very important article about a harm reduction approach to socialising in a pandemic. To get a sense of how early the alternative was being articulated).

It is really distressing to me to see so many fans devaluing music and what it brings to people. And the fact that people fearmongering and shaming in response to Louis' gig makes it clear that it's really not about risk - as that gig is what you might suggest if you thought music was important and wanted to take a harm reduction approach. And if fans don't value music, what the fuck are they doing here?

Sorry that's a tangent from you, but today even more than before it feels important to say. The desire to go to a concert is an important human desire. You have given up a lot. It's really legitimate to want joy. You'll make the right choice for you, and that may well be that you're not going to go. But I want to emphasise that you don't need to devalue and downplay your wants and needs. You don't have to pretend that they don't matter or that they're nothing because there are so many different ways people have suffered in this time. The desire for joy is an important desire.

#I do find it so disturbing #to see people within 1D fandom #acting like going to see music is a frivilous or unimportant activity #there are enough other people devaluing our needs #without doing it ourselves #and it may be unsafe in some places #and circumstances #but the desire is still valid and important

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rosaguard · 3 years

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✒️ + aerzora go

✒️ + a ship = summer talks about them. / selectively accepting.

this takes me a long time to get to the point of actually talking about the ship, i’m not sorry.

ah yozora and aeris. i feel like...they scratch an itch that none of aeris ‘canon’ ships ( and even her fanon ships ) do for me: they have depth that’s satisfying to me. obviously, that probably seems like an ‘unfair’ comparison due to the fact that this is roleplay - we’ve essentially created this ship and can do whatever we want. however, i feel like zeri.th and cleri.th at their base level are meant to be very ‘cute’ and tropey ( yes, there’s angst and death but the majority of their interactions can be summed up that way ) which isn’t inherently bad. i’ve grown to like both of these ships despite having my separate issues with them ( although with cle.rith, it was more so its fans than the actual ship itself ). for instance, i don’t like CC aeris or how her original character was undermined in that game. it’s hard for me to see the depth in a ship where i feel like one half of it was essentially watered down / heavily altered to support it ( again, this is just my opinion / how i bluntly feel about it ). overall, between the shipping wars, the constant essays about what is and isn’t canon, and the fact that cl.oti/zeri.th/cl.erith are all extremely common ‘types’ of romances in FF games, etc. it has just made me somewhat...bored of it all despite still liking and writing content for them.

it doesn’t help that aeris, for whatever reason, also isn’t ‘shipped’ as much with other characters outside of clou.d, ti.fa, and za.ck compared to how those three are with other characters so there’s not like...a taste of something else? the next person outside of that trio is probably seph.iroth ( and i’ll admit that i was super into sep.haeris as a teenager and i might still get a little emo seeing fanart of them ) but even then, that was never a hugely popular ship. i think people are also more vocally opposed to it now? although i feel like weirder / even more questionable ships such as sef.ikura and tse.rith that are popular / don’t get as much heat which is...strange. anyway, while sep.haeris was/is a thing, there’s not a lot of depth there either from what i remember as a teen. their relationship is usually written in 1). an au entirely, 2). an OG rewrite where se.phiroth isn’t crazy, 3). a fic where they come back post-death and sep.hiroth has to ‘redeem’ himself, or 4). a fic where seph.iroth is written as he canonically is throughout the OG and their relationship is toxic. this is somewhat reductive but this is usually the categories they’re in and in every one, aeris is typically written more so how she is in CC/AC/KH: innocent, pure, naive, the one who ‘believes’ in seph.iroth, his light, whatever.

aeris is often written as the emotionally supportive one to her partners which is honestly a too common role with many love interests in FF romances. again on its own, it’s fine but it becomes exhausting when it’s a repeated pattern, especially when the male characters are never written to be as emotionally supportive or caring back until like...a female character suffers, is hurt, or literally dies. the point of all this is that it provides a lot of context regarding how i write aeris in her interactions with yozora - some of its intentional / i’m actively aware of it when writing while some of it are things i just kind of realized while writing all of this. for instance, she doesn’t like him at first in my opinion ( and the feeling is probably mutual ) so there isn’t that instant ‘bonding’ process that cleri.th and zeri.th had over like...a span of a day. they have to actually grow to like each other while traveling together - even if it’s just as friends - so that it matters when she dies. i want their relationship to feel ‘earned’ so that when they’re finally in a place where they’re happy, they’ll actually both did the emotional work to get there rather than one side pushing the other to ‘do better’.

i don’t think we’ve ever decided ‘when’ they first officially meet (ex. the OG, remake, some other timeline, etc. ) but for the sake of this post, i’m going to say the remake. i don’t subscribe to the idea that aeris knows everything like seph.iroth does; i think she gets visions like cloud does but is able to better piece things together due to ‘what’ she is. so if her and yozora were to meet in the remake timeline, a timeline where aeris - a naturally guarded person who typically doesn’t tell people things until she has to - is even more guarded and secretive due to actively being aware of the fact that she’s going to die that that’s not going to be a great mix. canonically speaking, one of the few times OG aeris fully opens up to someone by choice is during her last conversation with cloud in his dreams. that conversation basically gets her killed ( sephiroth finds out where she’s going due to his connection with cloud ). basically, there is a real possibility that aeris would leave yozora to take care of meteor / sephiroth without a word; not even giving him that lasting memory of her like with what OG aeris did with cloud - even if she had already figured out that he had began to grow feelings for her.

as terrible for yozora as that might be: i like that.

i like female characters who are good and kind but are also allowed to make shitty decisions, be uncaring at times, etc. because that’s being human. aeris is a complicated person. she has a lot of layers that canon only touches on but will never commit to because they’re boring ( ex. her guarded nature and issues with abandonment, her friendly nature vs her loneliness, how she tends to not reciprocate the energy she gives out to people, how she was literally raised in a lab and has her abusers - that she has to play nice with - constantly stalking her, etc. ). to circle this back to the start, i guess that’s why the fighting over who aeris ‘loved’ in the end, whether it was za.ck or clo.ud, is silly to me. these men....truly don’t know her at all? how could they? she knew clo.ud for literally two weeks canonically and met za.ck when she was like...16. he didn’t even know one of the most important things about her: her own heritage. how can either one of them be the love of her life when they’ve only seen one side of her - a side that she wanted them to see at that?

it might take literal lifetimes but yozora will get to see those different sides of her as unpretty, uncomfortable, and even hurtful as those sides of her may be at times - yet he will choose to love her anyway and she’ll do the same with him. that hits:tm: different.

tl;dr: there is no tl;dr. read it all or keep scrolling.

#verumking #❀ . ━ ❛ voices of the lifestream ❪ asks ❫ .#this is probably rambling as fuck but i don't care. i've had a long day lol #also *rambly. anyway more of a discussion of my thought process when writing content related to them i guess

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mbti-notes · 4 years

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So I was talking with a friend about a deep experience I had with forgiving others and self-forgivdness. I am an ENFP and I said I didn't felt good with myself anymore for doing bad to people (I have been hurt/ hurting, ex: craving for revange) and I explained: if I myself know how painful being hurt can be, why would I want to do smthg like that to another human being, but the reply was philosophical, ethical, moral? Humans like evil and even rejoice in the suffering of others. (part 1)

[con’t: We are no good, we are imperfect, we seek hurting, we even feel good about it. the empathy you describe is beautiful but utopian if we think about human experience in society.” Then I said I wasn’t thinking in a philosophical way but in a personal one and that despite the lack of objectivity, factuality and “philosophy” in my view, I was certain of the importance of my empathic perspective for my personal and everyday life. But the question is: do you think my thoughts are conforming with Fi dev? Or I’m sounding like a “light chasers” (…) “they wanted the “light” of knowledge to overcome the “darkness” of suffering.” And also do you have any philosophy book that deals with the issue of morals and ethics to recommend me, please? I would not like to be always too naive and with idealistic thoughts/ speeches, friends often call my attention in this sense. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this!]

Yes, it might be related to Fi development, but more universally, it is consistent with human moral development to learn how to take full personal responsibility for: 1) the kind of person you want to be in terms of what character virtues you choose to nurture in yourself, and 2) the moral consequences of your decision making in terms of whether you’re causing harm to yourself and others.

Anybody who’s really devoted themselves to studying human psychology and/or moral philosophy will tell you that the human mind is extremely complex and that there’s a lot more to moral reasoning than reductive blanket statements. Humans are not just one thing, and if someone tries to convince you that they are, they’re usually pushing a hidden agenda and/or trying to bamboozle you.

Examples of weird motives? Someone who tries to discourage others from betterment usually has a deep vested interest in preserving the status quo for themselves. Someone who feels threatened by positivity is usually a failed idealist and projects their fear of hope onto you (in a misguided attempt to save you from the disappointment that they’ve suffered). Someone who tries to convince you to take the easy way out might actually be seeking validation of their own bad choices.

Any time someone tries to convince you of something, especially when it goes against your best instincts, you should question their motives. By pushing on your moral beliefs, they might be doing you a favor by forcing you to reflect on the quality of your moral reasoning (this seems to be the open-minded attitude behind your question), but they might also be doing you a disservice by making you constantly doubt your own moral instincts… and to what end? It’s fine to want to defend yourself better when your values are under attack, but not every fight is worth fighting. Healthy Fi grants a strong sense of moral responsibility. It’s not there to make you feel “unshakeable”, rather, it’s there to give you good judgment about when harm is being done so that you feel compelled to stop it.

Research strongly suggests that infants already possess a rudimentary sense of fairness and get upset over injustice. Some scholars speculate that human morality evolved to help us succeed through cooperation, and our sense of morality became increasingly complex as we established larger and larger groups. The more people you have in a group, the more difficult it is to keep them together, so rules have to be drawn up and people have to commit to following them. You don’t need to become a moral philosophy professor to understand morality. It’s built into your judgment process, and I argue that developing your F function is exactly how you get in touch with the natural moral instincts that compel you to address unfair/unjust/harmful treatment. Actually, to understand morality only in the abstract often does more harm than good. When you don’t have the basic components of morality in the form of genuine empathy and compassion, then it’s easy to intellectualize moral concepts and then use twisted logic to justify all sorts of negative behavior. Hitler is the cliche example in that he seemed to genuinely believe that he was righteous in using genocide to achieve some abstract ideal of a perfect society.

There is already quite a lot of research about moral psychology and moral reasoning, and it handily proves that the cynic you’re paraphrasing is misguided. If they genuinely believe that human nature is irredeemable, I would advise against being friends with them, since that belief system, taken to its logical conclusion, would render someone morally bankrupt and completely incapable of loving relationships. Other than a basic sense of fairness, you aren’t born with a whole moral philosophy that you can write down in a book, rather, you pick up your moral beliefs through life experience and learning from the choices that you make. The moral beliefs that you choose to hold on to gradually come to define your moral character. For instance, to believe that human nature is fundamentally irredeemable actually tells everyone that you have absolutely no faith in yourself - it’s a projection.

If you really understand what “personal responsibility” means, whether or not other people choose evil is irrelevant to what you choose for yourself. A cynic either has to argue that humans can’t choose to be good because they are “born evil” (fatalism) or that what they choose is “meaningless” as long as others choose evil (helplessness). Either way, it means relinquishing the natural creative power of humans to be better and make things better. And what do you have left after you’ve given up your creative power? Resign yourself to powerlessness? A cynic chooses powerlessness, so they cannot help but begrudge your attempts to use your power.

Again, humans aren’t just one thing. They are indeed capable of evil, but disappointment about evil must not obscure the fact that humans are also granted the intellectual power to overcome their basest impulses. The fact that being moral is often the harder road to take makes it all the more meaningful when you’re able to choose it consistently. For civilization to be possible, for love to be possible, for long term planning to be possible - all of them difficult uphill projects - a significant number of people have successfully devoted themselves to performing socially beneficial behavior. The proof is right before your eyes in the people around you. Just because some people relinquish their moral responsibility, doesn’t mean you should ignore all those who embrace and accept their moral responsibility. Ignoring all the good is just as illogical as ignoring all the bad - either way, you’re not in touch with reality.

Are you a “lightchaser”? A lightchaser lives in fear of darkness, so they live in denial of their own darkness. Repressing it is what causes it to turn into something ugly and evil. However, once you recognize the reality that humans are a very mixed bag of positive and negative motives, you free up your mind to nurture your potential and address the things that hold you back from being your better self. You have the power to identify and address the things that promote evil behavior. How you choose to use that power is the main point.

#enfp #auxiliary fi #morality #development #moral compass #moral philosophy #moral psychology #ask

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hyenahunny · 5 years

Text

in defense of midsommar (spoilers galore)

I don’t think that the film equates mental ill = crazy murderer. Honestly, as someone who has lived with and is being treated for MDD and anxiety for a long time, I actually loved the movie and how it treated people with mental illness.

Don’t get me wrong -- I think it makes sense to have the initial reaction of “Bipolar character does something destructive while in a depressive episode so that means the film is saying that bipolar people are bad and destructive.” That was what I initially felt because in a lot of media, that’s the narrative that is pushed. It’s a cheap, horrible, reductive way to paint someone as a scary, unpredictable villain. It’s gross and unfair.

But when I chewed on it, my opinion changed and I felt as though that’s not what’s happening in Midsommar.

While both Dani’s sister and Dani are mentally ill, the actions triggered by their respective illnesses aren’t vilified or shamed. Dani is our protagonist, the person we’re supposed to empathize with. We’re supposed to feel what she feels and Dani’s feelings on the matter aren’t hateful. She doesn’t hate her sister for what happened, for what she did, and one of the things that’s supposed to be most heartbreaking about the beginning is that Dani was isolated from her sister and couldn’t hold her; her messages literally went unheard and unread. There’s a reason that the film showed the audience that Dani’s emails were never opened right after showing us absolutely horrifying visuals beforehand. It forces a narrative association.

No one is ever, ever framed positively in the movie for being dismissive of mental illness. Christian isn’t made out to be empathetic or superior by brushing off Dani’s panic and the potential danger of the situation. In fact, the narrative first actively establishes that Christian kind of sucks for doing just that. And when other characters ignore Dani’s pain and obvious signs of anxiety and PTSD, they’re not framed as wise or good people for doing so.

If Dani’s sister had done what she did and the narrative had treated it as though she was a villain for it, as if there was anything simple about the situation, then I would have been pissed.

If Christian and his friends were patted on the back for being rational and smart and superior for ignoring what was happening with Dani, then I would have been pissed.

But when I watched Midsommar, I got the impression that the film wasn’t trying to say it’s mentally ill people who we’re supposed to find villainous. It’s the mentally ill people who we’re supposed to care about.

#midsommar #midsommar spoilers #spoilers #does that make sense? I'm not trying to be a dick #the discourse it just a lot

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dxmedstudent · 4 years

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Love in the time of Coronavirus.

Dr Jenny Harries, the deputy chief medical officer, clarified what the lockdown would mean for people in relationships who don’t live together. She said: "The principle is that we want people to stay in their household units primarily...If you've two individuals, two halves of a couple, currently in separate households, ideally they should stay in those households”

"The alternative might be that, for quite a significant period going forward, they should test the strength of their relationship and decide if one wants to be a permanent resident of another household.

"The issue here is what we do not want is people switching in and out of households. It defeats the purpose in the reduction of social interaction. Otherwise we will not all be working towards achieving the outcome."

Now, this depends on a lot of factors. What is a household? It’s understandable to say that visiting a partner and sharing those germs with flatmates is unacceptable. But what if people live alone? A friend of mine was frustrated by the guidance because she and her boyfriend both live alone, and she can’t see how driving to his would be any more germy than just living with him. And it seems unfair to say that some people get to live with a partner and 3 kids whilst others aren’t allowed to see anyone cos they don’t share a house. Ultimately we have to accept that there has to be a cutoff point somewhere and that we all need to do what we can to reduce contact between people. The government tolerate people in ‘households’ because you can’t really get everyone to live alone, so you have to try and get people to cut down where they can. And that’s unfair - some people get to be with a loving partner, or family, or friends, and some of us get to be alone, separated from all of the above. I also think it’s risky advice to tell people to ‘test’ their relationship and move in. Being cooped up together isn’t a normal test of a relationship- it’s a very artificual situation that even healthy relationships can struggle with. I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more divorces after lockdowns - people being unable to have their own space or own lives isn’t a recipe for happiness. Think about what a healthy relationship entails - we always tell people they need to make time to be apart, see their friends, do things that don’t involve their partner. Why? because being together 24/7 is a recipe for stress and bickering. If you’re in a longterm relationship and have weathered things before, you’ll probably be able to separate how your partner is acting in this situation from their usual self, and work together to find common ground. But newer relationships? It’s risky to spend too much time together too soon; people need time to learn about each other’s strengths and weaknesses gradually - I imagine it’ll be a rude awakening for some! If it doesn’t work out and you decide to split, you’ll be rather more stuck than usual. I’m also worried about the people who might feel pressured to move in with an abusive partner, who then wouldnt be able to leave. Moving in when people are ready, with time to make space for all your stuff might be one thing, but last minute shacking up with whatever you can carry, can have very different effects. Most people struggle a bit to adjust when they first move in - suddenly they have less free time by themselves, have to deal with more of their partner’s habits, and they have to think more about how they spend their time together.

It’s also testing on relationships to effectively go ‘long distance’ by forcing people not to meet at all for months on end. There’s a reason why long distance relationships are really hard and not for everyone, and I’m sure lots of people are going to struggle as the weeks drag on. This lockdown has had a huge effect on myself and friends. One of my friends was quite upset that her new boyfriend didn’t want her to move in, at first. Though on reflection, she agreed with much of the above - risking your nascent relationship of a few months by asking someone to pack a suitcase and move in to be trapped with you 24/7 is... risky. It’s a lot of pressure to put a new relationship under, when you are still learning about each other and learning to deal with each other’s issues. By the time you live together, I think it helps to know someone pretty well, to the point that their bad habits won’t be an unpleasant surprise.

I’ll put the personal stuff under a cut, since it’s already quite a long post:

A friend of the Guy’s moved across the country, last minute, to be with her boyfriend. I respect that decisiveness, and I wish them all the best. It’s not the kind of stunt I could pull - I overthink things and worry about every possible eventuality. I don’t like the idea of being cooped up at all, and I’d be worried about feeling sick of each other. But I do slightly envy that they’ll be with the person they love. I let off steam by discussing it with colleagues in a similar position to myself, since it’s not that uncommon in medical circles. Lots of us are in long distance relationships due to rotations and moving between places, not able to live with our SOs for swathes of our training. All of us are trying to manage as best as we can. I really feel for medical couples right now. Medic couples will be worrying about their partner being on the front line, so that probably makes it even harder. The Guy and I had a chat about what this lockdown would mean for us, after laughing at the ridiculousness of the medical officer trying to give relationship advice. I didn’t ask him to move in, nor seriously entertained it because it wouldn’t be best for us. He’d need his computer etc for work, and my flat is not big enough for two people, especially if one has to live out of a suitcase. I wouldn’t want him to feel trapped 24/7 somewhere that isn’t his home - given that he’d spend a lot more time there than I would. It’d never be an option for me to stay at his - it’s too far from my work, and living out of a suitcase at his and commuting would be too stressful. And I’m afraid of exposing him to the bug, given that I’ll be much more likely to catch it given that I already work with coronavirus patients. So even though I’m gutted not to see him for a while, part of me is happy that he is safer away from me. Staying apart is the right decison, but that doesn’t make it easy, - the intensity and physical aspect to romantic relationships makes physically isolating much harder.

He’s a lot less of a worrier than I am, and I admire how he’s learned to put things aside if he can’t change them. He hopes it’ll be over sooner than I expect, and he tries to focus on what we can do remotely - Whatsapp, video calls, playing games together online, and we’ll keep checking in on each other. Frankly, since he works from home, we may even be able to spend more time doing stuff. He’s good at listening, and it can’t be easy to watch me stress from afar whilst knowing you can’t do much. I know it bothers him that he can’t do anything to make it better. I’m an old hand at talking to friends and family remotely, but having to isolate from him too is a major pain. I miss my friends and family, massively - the fact that I can’t see them makes it worse than just not happening to do so. I imagine it’s a pain if you’re a normal person, but when you’re on the frontline, it’s worse. Because apart from the support of your people, what else do you have? We aren’t sitting at home trying to find ways to fill the time. We’re working harder to get everyone out of hospital ASAP and to keep normal services running whilst COVID-19 gradually spreads. I have to admit that I resent coming up against likely the toughest few months we’ll ever face in our careers, but having to come up against it isolated makes it harder. It’s not that I’m alone - I’m inundated with messages from people who care. I’m surrounded by fun things to do. I speak to all my people (him included) more regularly than I did before. But I know this is going to be a long battle, and that’s why it’s going to be hard. It’s weird, wihout exams and portfolios to worry about, I have a lot more free time to spend on my hobbies. But with this cloud hanging over work, and not being able to see my people, I’ve never looked forward to days off less than I do now. But I’m going to try to. I’m going to do my best to fill up my time with fun things, and try to mitigate the effects of the crisis. This is a marathon, and we’re all going to have to get through it as best as we can, and look after each other.

#covid-19 journal #dx dates #dxdates

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writing-for-amusement · 5 years

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Walk, Walk, Fashion Baby, 3

Summary: As a young and successful fashion designer, you approach Joshua Kane to do a collaboration that brings regular and plus size high-end fashion into the world; your plan is to take the world by storm. Harrison Osterfield becomes the one to model one half of your masterpiece, and on the trek to find the perfect model for the other half, you keep coming up empty. After encouragement from Joshua and Harrison, you agree to model it yourself. This means that you’ll work even closer to Harrison, and you’re worried that your budding feelings for him, and his hidden ones for you, could ruin the collection and everything you’ve worked for. But perhaps the road to the fashion storm will also lead to a new power couple in the fashion world.

A/N: Okay, I feel like I haven’t updated this one in forever BUT I have so much for this chapter, so.... lol. This is a lot of... idk, stuff. But I hope you like it! It should be moving much faster with this one soon! I’m expecting it to only be a few more parts, tbh, with an end of smut. If you want to be on the taglist for this piece, or on my permanent taglist, just let me know!!!

Permanent Taglist: @pparkerwrites, @jordyns-library, @natblidaclexa, @peterseuphoria, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @beccaboo929, @softrdj, @icecoldban

WWFB Taglist: @ghostofdrfluke

Disclaimer: I do not personally know Harrison Osterfield, nor do I claim to. I am essentially using his personage and visage to create a completely fictional story. I also don’t claim to know Joshua Kane (though we have had brief interactions on Instagram). That being said, I hope you enjoy this!!!

Warnings: hospital stuff, I did way too much research about broken noses, needles near the face, anxiety, anxiety about doctors/hospitals, bit of panic, possibly too much hand holding if that’s possible, a limited knowledge of the British healthcare system (but like I do know a decent amount), some fluff too tho, exhaustion, some tiny self-esteem issues near the end, some weird flirting maybe

Word Count: 3639

Chapter 3

At the A&E, it was busy. It was a Friday night, after all, and London was a big city with a lot of people. But Harrison ushered you to a seat as he signed you in and got a clipboard for you to fill out. He sat down next to you and pretended to not be paying attention as you squinted at the clipboard.

You filled it out and went to get up before Harrison gently took it from you and pushed you back to the chair. He gave you a cheeky grin and a wink as he walked away, making your heart nearly vibrate.

Soon enough, Harrison was sitting back down next to you, your thighs occasionally brushing against each other. He soon noticed your worry as it manifested in the jiggling of your leg; he cleared his throat to get your attention.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

“I…” you swallowed nervously, “I’m not a fan of doctors or anything like that. Just old anxiety, I guess,” you tried to play it off with a chuckle.

Harrison’s eyes narrowed as he took you in, making you avert your eyes anxiously. His voice was gentle, tugging at your heartstrings, as he said, “What’s really wrong, Y/N?”

You took in a deep breath and looked at your hands, folded in your lap. “It’s silly.”

“If you’re worried about something, it’s not silly,” he reassured you. “C’mon, Y/N,” he nudged you gently, a soft smile on his face, “tell me. I won’t laugh.”

“If my nose is crooked,” you began as you bit your lip, “will it ruin the show?”

Harrison stared at you for a few moments, his blue eyes bright and framed by those ridiculously unfair eyelashes. Then, he took your hands in his, making you look up at him in surprise. His hands weren’t rough and weren’t soft, but they were gentle, more so than anything you think you’ve ever felt.

“Y/N, even if your nose is crooked, you’ll still rock that runway. You can rock anything, love, and if it were to be a little less straight for the show, well, that just makes everything more unique and more you, doesn’t it?” He quirked his lips in a smile and rubbed his thumbs over your knuckles. “Besides, your designs are so amazing, I doubt anyone would notice a slightly off-center nose. And,” he added quickly, widening his eyes and leaning in a bit for emphasis, “even if your nose is a little crooked, you’ll be just as beautiful as ever.”

You ran your tongue across your lips as you tried to think of a response. “I… thanks, Harrison,” you finally managed to say. “That actually really helped.”

“Anytime, love,” he winked at you as he let go of one of your hands.

You thought he would let go of the other one, but instead he laced your fingers together and kept it between you. Harrison continued to rub his thumb across your hand, sending little electric tingles up your arm and making your heart fill with warmth. You tried to ignore the electricity by scrolling on your phone, but to no avail. Even as you used one hand to play a puzzle game, you were acutely aware of him holding your hand.

As you waited, hand in hand, you would loosen your hand ever so slightly, just in case Harrison wanted to let go. He always responded by squeezing your hand tighter. You’d also glance at him as he played on his own phone, and each time he squeezed your hand, the corners of his mouth quirked in a small smile.

Finally, finally, your name was called. You weren’t irritated, necessarily, because there were people with slightly more pressing issues than yours. You just wanted to get out of that uncomfortable chair.

You didn’t want to let go of Harrison’s hand, though.

Apparently, Harrison didn’t want you to either, as he stood with you and squeezed your hand again, this time for reassurance. The nurse was nice, taking you through to the examination room and checking your nose briefly before asking a few questions. She then got some x-rays, since the doctor would want them anyway, and took you back to the room.

After a few minutes sitting on a chair and holding Harrison’s hand, a doctor (apparently a nose specialist) walked in, looking cheerful yet tired, as a doctor often does. He asked you how it happened and as you explained, he was washing his hands and chuckling at how you called the drunk man a Neanderthal. He directed you to sit on the table and Harrison followed, not letting go of your hand because he could tell you were nervous.

“Well, let’s take a look,” the doctor came forward quickly, making you flinch in surprise. “Sorry, love. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

Harrison squeezed your hand reassuringly and smiled when you squeezed back. Every time the doctor would gently press on your nose and cheekbones, Harrison would give you a small squeeze. The bruising was already quite tender, so you were thankful when the doctor stopped pressing and instead looked into your nose.

“Well, okay, let’s look at the x-rays,” the doctor suggested, though it wasn’t actually a suggestion. He put them up and you looked at it, wincing to yourself as you saw the cracks in the bones and cartilage.

“I feel like right now would be a good time for a nose pun,” Harrison muttered to you, making you chuckle slightly.

“I ‘nose’ it would be,” you whispered back, making his eyes light up with laughter.

The doctor interrupted your giggling by saying, “Okay, I would like to do what’s called a closed reduction surgery, and I’d like to do that tonight. Essentially, it’s local anesthesia, and then I’ll come in and elevate these depressed bones,” he pointed to some bones, “and I’ll depress some of these elevated bones. Then I’ll straighten everything. Easy procedure, but if you’re uncomfortable with it, we can put you under general anesthetic.”

“Um,” your mouth and throat felt dry, “n-no, I don’t think I need the general. Uh, let’s get this started, then.”

“Okay, I’ll go get everything ready,” the doctor said with a smile, quickly leaving the room. He popped his head back in to say, “A nurse will come get you when it’s ready.”

“Do you want me to stay, love?” Harrison asked you gently.

Your eyes snapped over to his, filled with panic. You weren’t mentally prepared for the surgery. The last time you had surgery, it had taken you four months of mental preparation (partially because the American system had to schedule you four months out), and even then, you hadn’t felt ready. Then again, you’d been a child at the time…

Flashes of needles right next to your face caused you to clutch onto Harrison’s arm.

“Don’t leave,” you pleaded with a whisper, and you saw spark flit across his beautiful light blue eyes. The edges of those eyes crinkled slightly as he grinned at you.

“Don’t worry, love,” he placated you, placing one of his hands on yours on his arm, “I won’t leave you unless you want me to.”

You smiled at him and felt a little frozen under his gaze. He was looking at you so intensely that you didn’t know what to do. So, in a classic and totally not awkward style, you kept still and merely shyly averted your eyes.

You felt your blood run hotter under his gaze, and then a knocking on the door made him take a step back. Without his hand on yours on his arm, you felt like you could breathe a bit easier; he made you nervous but in the best possible way, but you hated that. You hated feeling nervous, especially the butterflies kind of nervous. It made you hyperaware of your actions, but also made you say things without your usual amount of contemplation.

The knock had been a nurse coming to get you to take you (and Harrison) to a room with the proper chair/lights combo for the procedure. You got off the table (albeit a little ungracefully) and started after her. Your hands were shaking, and then you started to wring them together anxiously as you walked behind the nurse.

A hand touched yours and you looked to the side to see Harrison smiling at you gently. He took one of your hands and laced your fingers together as you walked, squeezing reassuringly as he did before. It made you feel safer.

“Hello again,” the doctor greeted you as you entered the room. “Please take a seat and we’ll get started right away.”

You did as the man instructed, sitting in the chair and lacing your own fingers together. Harrison stood to the side, relatively close, but not in the way. As the doctor finished washing his hands and turned around in his chair, he saw Harrison standing.

“There’s a chair right behind you, you can sit there if you want. It moves,” the doctor said as he put on his gloves.

“Ah, thanks mate,” Harrison said happily, pulling the chair forward and sitting down. He was closer now, a little lower than you, but you could feel his presence better now.

The doctor stood and stepped closer to you, leaning the chair back. You swallowed nervously as you went down, your heartrate increasing exponentially.

“Are you ready?” the nurse asked. “It’ll all be completely fine.” She began clean and sterilize your nose and the surrounding areas; the scent of it burned at your nose hairs.

“As ready as I can be,” you admitted nervously.

“Are you afraid of needles?” the nurse inquired as she continued to rub your skin.

“No, I don’t mind medical or tattoo needles—I have several tattoos—but I am afraid of needles right next to my face,” you said timidly. Harrison squeezed your hand gently.

“Well, we will be as quick as we can with the needles. Just close your eyes,” the doctor suggested, and you quickly followed that advice.

As you felt them getting closer and closer to your face, your breathing picked up. It wasn’t until Harrison quietly said, “It’s alright to breathe, love,” that you realized you’d been holding your breath ever so slightly.

“Little pinch,” the doctor said, and your eyes flew open. You saw the needle and felt the pinch, and probably almost crushed poor Harrison’s large hand.

“Doctor, do you mind if I talk?” Harrison whispered. “It might help her relax.”

“Please do,” the doctor nodded, “another pinch here, dear.”

“So, Y/N, would you like to hear the story of the time Tom and I got lost in the middle of an area we grew up in?”

“Sure,” you rasped quietly.

As Harrison launched into his story and your nose and face became numb, you were able to relax and close your eyes. His voice was truly soothing to your nerves. As you focused on the story, you found yourself thinking about other things that would sound amazing in Harrison’s voice.

Thankfully, as you heard a clatter of instruments, you were able to back out of that dangerous hole once more. Harrison squeezed your hand as you breathed in shakily, running his thumb along your hand.

“You’re doing great, Y/N,” the nurse reassured you.

“Yup, we will be done before you know it,” the doctor stated.

You let out a nervous hum of acknowledgement and Harrison gave you another squeeze. He continued with his story, still softly rubbing your hand with his thumb. When he would say something funny or ridiculous, you would squeeze his hand gently. He always chuckled briefly in response and squeezed back.

As everything dragged on and your breathing picked up again ever so slightly, Harrison tried a new tactic. He would tap a few times on your hand with his thumb and you would reply with the same number of taps. It made you feel even better than holding or squeezing his hand did because it was actively distracting you.

Harrison had gone through two hilarious stories when the doctor and nurse announced they were done and just needed to clean up a bit. Cotton was stuffed in your nose and you were slowly raised back up.

It was not a good feeling.

You felt better, however, as Harrison continued to hold your hand while the doctor went through the aftercare you needed to do. The doctor asked the nurse to print out some instructions for you so you could reference them. After she left, the doctor turned to Harrison with a look that was a combination of teasing and serious.

“Make sure your girlfriend changes that gauze and ices that nose as soon as you two get home, young man,” he stated sternly with that glint still in his eyes.

You were tired, but you weren’t so tired that you didn’t feel embarrassed by the man’s assumption. The unfortunate and annoying voice that was usually packed in a box in the back of your head came out and hissed that Harrison could never date a woman like you.

You opened your mouth to correct the good doctor, but Harrison interrupted you by saying, “Of course, sir, I always make sure my girlfriend takes care of herself.”

Your heart pounded loudly in your chest. It was pounding so ferociously that you were positive that Harrison could feel it in your hand, through your fingertips.

The doctor shook your hand and reminded you to take care of yourself, before nodding at Harrison and leaving the room. The nurse appeared in the open doorway and gestured for you and Harrison to follow her. She reiterated parts of the aftercare that you needed to definitely do and said that she’d call you in a few days to see how you were doing. After giving you the stapled papers and a kind smile, the nurse bid you both ado.

Harrison led you out of the A&E, and you couldn’t find the energy to ask him why he didn’t correct the doctor. You were exhausted and your nose felt incredibly strange with both the gauze and the anesthesia. To put it simply, you were not feeling the best.

“Your place or mine?” Harrison asked as he looked for a cab, still holding your hand.

You simply gave a grunt as a response.

Harrison chuckled at you and squeezed your hand slightly as he stepped forward to hail a cab. As the cab pulled up, he let go of your hand to open the door for you. The coldness that wafted over your hand was jarring; it seemed like he’d been holding your hand for hours. It was a miracle that your hand wasn’t covered in sweat.

You clambered quite ungracefully into the cab, Harrison right behind you. The lack of noise was more comforting than you expected; your shoulders loosened ever so slightly as Harrison shut the door and told the cab where to go.

To your surprise, Harrison laced your hands together again. When you glanced at him, he was looking out the window at the passing cars, acting as if holding your hand was the most normal thing in the world.

Your heart wanted it to become a normal thing, but your anxious mind couldn’t help but whisper that he was only holding your hand to be nice, to calm you down.

Instead of letting the anxiety or hope take over your mind, you let the exhaustion creep in. As a yawn stretched your face and you let out an accompanying sigh, you heard Harrison chuckle.

Your attempt at a withering glare was met with another chuckle.

“What?” you asked quietly.

“You’re just really cute, love, that’s all,” he smiled at you.

You scoffed in the back of your throat and rolled your eyes, turning to the window. You didn’t know where you were going, and you’d gotten turned around enough on the way to the A&E. Normally you had a great sense of direction, but when you were tired and discombobulated, direction went out the window.

A few minutes later, you rolled up to an apartment building, but not your apartment building. It was obviously Harrison’s, and he led you inside after paying the driver.

You followed Harrison into his apartment—or flat, as he called it—without much arguing. The exhaustion was seeping into your bones. Hunger was also seeping into your body as you waited in the elevator.

You’d never been to Harrison’s flat before. You knew he wasn’t living with his parents anymore, but you also knew that he visited them often (you’d gotten cookies from his family before). As this was a new experience, you tried to wake up a bit more in order to really remember it.

It was pretty much exactly what you anticipated. A relatively open floor plan, with modern furnishings, and a slightly messy kitchen. Harrison hurried around you and quickly shut a door, probably to his bedroom, and you raised a brow at him.

He cleared his throat and looked away with a blush on his cheeks. “I, uh, haven’t finished laundry yet,” he muttered his excuse.

You hummed in understand and continued to glance around, only to be surprised as Harrison tugged you by the arm to the couch. You were even more surprised by him twirling you into his arms and looking down at you with a smoldering gleam in his eyes and a mischievous smirk on his lips.

Then, you were falling onto the couch and a remote was being shoved in your hands.

“I’ll make something,” he explained as you looked up at him, “so get comfy.”

“Um, you don’t—”

“Hush, love,” Harrison interrupted you gently. “Really, just relax, put something on, it’s no trouble at all.” At your hesitant look, he said with extreme sincerity, “I want to take care of you, okay? Please no protesting or complaining?”

You sighed but nodded, and his bright whoop of happiness brought a smile to your own face. Harrison quickly bent down and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, then he very exaggeratedly jumped over the back of the couch and walked into the kitchen.

With an amused shake of your head at his antics, you flipped on the TV and opened the Hulu app. You flicked through it until you found a cooking show and selected a random episode. It was hard for you to get comfy in an unknown place, but the scent of the couch (you realized that it smelt like Harrison) and then the scent of something cooking had you practically melting into it. Your eyes even began to droop.

You were admittedly still in your work clothes (your pants were pretty uncomfortable, but the tank top and cardigan were alright), but you were so exhausted from stress via a myriad of reasons, that you were only slightly surprised when you began to drop off. After someone on the TV said something about making something close to their heart, though, your eyes were wide open and your stress back to the max.

As your heartrate was soaring through the roof as you were thinking about all of the things you still had to do, you were hit in the side of the head with something soft. You somehow managed to catch it as it fell towards the couch.

Harrison wiggled his eyebrows as you looked up at him and he said, “Strip.”

“Excuse me?” you shot back, furrowing your eyebrows in alarm.

He cackled with his head thrown back and started walking to the kitchen. “There’s some clothes you can put on to get comfy.”

You hesitantly looked at the clothes in your arms as you stood up, worrying your lip with your teeth. “Um, Harrison?” you called out.

“Yes?” he called back from the kitchen.

“I don’t think… these will fit.”

“Clothes fit all gorgeous bodies, so of course they’ll fit your gorgeous body,” he said as if it was so obvious.

You scoffed at his pure ridiculousness and shook your head. Too tired to go into that argument, you shuffled to the bathroom and tried on the clothes.

The sweatpants actually fit, because they were stretchy, but to no one’s surprise, the shirt was much too tight. It technically fit, but not in any way that you would want. With a shake of your head, you took it off and slipped on your tank top and cardigan again.

You walked back out to see Harrison lowering himself to the couch. His head whipped around to you when the shirt collided with his face.

“Why aren’t you wearing the shirt? It’s so soft!” He seemed genuinely confused.

“It’s too tight,” you replied with a shrug. “I’m too big to borrow the majority of your clothes, H. Not much in life is made for people like me.”

His eyebrows furrowed as you crossed your arms over your stomach and looked away. Then, to break the silence, he said, “I made pancakes. Dig in.”

You sat down next to him and yawned as you started to make your pancakes the way you liked. Harrison had put out a nice spread of stuff on the coffee table, and you felt a little self-conscious at the way he was watching you.

When you began to dig in, a small moan leaving your mouth at the sensation of food, Harrison let out a chuckle. You looked at him with wide eyes as you were putting another bite into your mouth, and that made him laugh more.

“You are the most adorable person I have ever seen,” he finally said with the softest smile you’d ever seen.

“Oh no,” you thought, “professionalism is going to be much, much harder than I thought, harder than I ever could have imagined…”

#harrison osterfield x plus size reader #harrison osterfield x reader #reader insert #plus size reader #walk walk fashion baby fic #please tell me what you think i am desperate for validation

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