The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter One

cw: stalking, aftermath of past abuse, covid times, police corruption, drug abuse, crime scenes, graphic violence, description of dead bodies

Meara's life has been one disappointment after another, and he's not expecting his new roommate situation to be anything but, either. But he needs to get out of the city and needs a room, and Josselin seems nice enough and has a bed to spare. But Josselin ends up being more than just a freelance translator, eccentric book hoarder, and taxidermy enthusiast, he's also a consulting detective; the one the police come to when they just can't crack a case. Meara accidentally gets swooped up in one such situation. It's the most excitement and fun he's ever had in his entire life. He's hooked.

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

Please let me know if you want to be tagged in these updates! This is my general list so those tagged here will also still be updated on other projects. If you only want to be on one and not the other, just let me know!

Read chapter one on Wattpad

Or on Ao3!

I'm super psyched to finally be able to share a finished story!! thank you to all you amazing folks who encouraged me and showed interest and asked questions and left comments and reblogs and likes!

Me: "Hey, I just thought of a sad thing about Josselin. If you want to hear it."

@indecentpause: "Of course I want to hear it, you have to tell me, it's the law."

Me: "You know how he has seizures, right? I imagine they started earlier, like around age ten, and now he says 'Don't call 911, I'll be fine,' well I imagine he used to say 'Don't call 911, just find my mom.'"

@indecentpause: "... Why did you have to tell me something so sad?! Now I'm sad!"

Me: "You told me to!"

AKA what we bicker about while running errands

Sugar’s Introduction

Sugar here! Hella long time roleplayer, long time wifey of Pause. I work a lot, I sleep a lot, and I create characters like, all the time.

I started off about fifteen years ago on Neopets, back before the character limits, and have been plotting my way around since. The only fandom I really ever played in was Yu Yu Hakusho, but I prefer OCs over canon. I play most in medieval fantasy, but any fantasy is good by me. 

Sheraton Academy was the place to be for the longest time, but things petered out. If you go through Pause’s tags, Josselin Clearwater, Frankie NoLastName, Luci Edwards, and Kylie Nudo are all mine. I sort of took over Cristoph Carnini and Camui Russo when needed as well.

I haven’t really written in a long time, but over these last few months I’ve been doing a RWBY roleplay with my full time coworker. There I have Faye Nox and Cristoph Carnini as my mains, with a lot of secondary characters in and out as needed. 

Creating settings and helping with plot is, like, my jam. I don’t know much about FY, though. Oh! Since it usually comes up at some point or another, I don’t care if you borrow a character for a story or whatever, just don’t do anything drastic without asking. Like, if you want Red to interact with your characters, be my guest, but don’t kill or maim her!? Because that’s just RUUUUDE and has happened before. Otherwise, my characters are free reign, have fun with them, and I’ll let you know if something is horribly out of character.

It’s fun to be roleplaying again! :D

Find the Word Tag

@oh-no-another-idea tagged me to find the words stone, brick, iron, and wood! thank!

I'm revisiting The Most Beautiful Puzzle for one last readthrough and check and then it should be ready to start sharing in full!! :D for now have some excerpts :)

stone rock:

[Josselin]’s already primed you on what to look for, but you don’t know who was here last or how long ago or what for. You’re mostly there to drive and make things look convincing. Josselin backtracks to the wall where you parked and drops into a crouch. You try to be useful by overturning rocks and leaves with your cane, but you won’t be able to see anything not immediately obvious, and there’s no way you can crouch or kneel. From the sidewalk, a man calls, “You guys need help with something?” You look up. A guy your age, maybe a few years older. Unassuming. Crew cut brown hair, t-short and jeans, average everything. The only thing that stands out is his shiny black combat boots. “Oh, he just dropped something. Thanks, though!” The guy lingers a moment. You offer a wave, trying to politely tell him he can go on his way. He offers a wave back and moves on.

brick:

[Josselin] sighs and lets go before you can ask him what he’s doing. With a huff, he rubs quick and hard at his shoulder where the officer was touching him. “I was okay,” he says softly. You offer a weak smile. “You’re still okay!” you say, trying to be supportive. “He just needs to get his paperwork in order. It’s technically private property, so they probably have to just make sure everything’s sorted. Josselin leans back against the brick wall of the building, mumbling to himself in annoyance. You join him.

iron:

“Okay, so, what’s this about a baseball bat?” “I keep one under my bed,” he explains again. “I have mitts and baseballs and stuff too, to make it look like it belongs there. Just in case. So it doesn’t look like I was planning to use it as a weapon. But I could get you one, if you wanted. And maybe a tire iron to keep in your car, if you didn’t want a bat there? People keep tire irons in cars, right? I’ve never driven a car.”

wood:

For a moment, things are quiet. Occasionally, you hear the Inspector and Pascal’s feet one the hardwood floor upstairs. Familiar and Grandpa are purring. Crackerjack has fallen asleep under the table. Your phone rings, loud and shrill in the quiet room. All three cats jump and dart under various pieces of furniture. It buzzes on the table and continues to ring a second or two more until you finally grab it. An unknown number. You send the call to voicemail.

tagging @drippingmoon @calicohyde @jezifster @winterandwords @digital-chance @tc-doherty @anoelleart to find the words grey/gray, heavy, bright, and strong/strength

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Two

cw: graphic descriptions of a decaying corpse, crime scene, drug mentions, overdose mentions, mentions of a suicide pact

Josselin’s directions take you to one of the forest preserves all the way out in Schiller Park. He kindly found you an ankle brace so you can walk along the paths, even if you can’t go out into the woods. The worst part is still getting up and down. Walking on flat surfaces is relatively okay, and the paths there are generally pretty well kept. Josselin doesn’t offer any information, and you don’t ask any questions. What the hell have you gotten yourself into? He taps at his phone in the backseat while some ‘80s pop music plays softly on the radon. You don’t like it much, but it seems to be something most other people do, and Josselin doesn’t seem to mind. You’ve barely parked and haven’t even shut the car off when a man in uniform, maybe in his mid-thirties? Still young. He approaches the car, waving a disposable mask and a glove. Josselin jumps out, but you stay put, unsure of whether you should follow, but then Josselin knocks on the window and gestures you to do just that. So you do. “This is Inspector Montague,” Josselin says, switching out his cloth mask for the medical grade one. “Dona, this is Meara.” The Inspector squints at you, not rudely, just thinking. “Why are you here?” he finally asks. “Oh, uh, I was the ride,” you say. You thumb back at your car and start to take a step back. “I can stay here if—“ “Nonsense!” Josselin cries. The two of you follow the Inspector back to his squad car. He digs out a second mask and glove and a container of Vicks. Oh, man. Josselin did say she went missing a week ago. The body must have been here for a while.

Read chapter two here on wattpad

or here on ao3!

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

Please let me know if you want to be tagged in these updates! This is my general list so those tagged here will also still be updated on other projects. If you only want to be on one and not the other, just let me know!

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Three

cw: graphic description of dead bodies (in a mortuary), drug overdose mention, mental illness (ADHD)

A cacophony of meows wakes you from an uneasy sleep. You sit up, groggy, and wipe the sleep sand out of your eyes, the indent your glasses left on your nose. After a few blinks, you realize the fuzz isn’t from sleep, but from dirty glasses, so you try to clean them with your shirt. It’s not the right kind of material, so it just kind of smudges it around. The creak of the door opening echoes through the apartment and you freeze, ready to spring and run. It takes a few seconds and Familiar barreling into your room and under the bed, then sprinting straight back out again, to remind you where you are. Josselin’s apartment. Your apartment. Your home. You breathe. Your belt buckle is digging into your stomach, so you change into a pair of sweatpants before you head into the living room. “Everything okay?” You don’t know why you call out. Why wouldn’t it be? Drake’s really got you on edge, and it burns you. You hate how afraid of him you are. “Everything’s fine!” Josselin calls back. He comes into the living room, a towel wrapped around his waist as he dries his hair. He sticks a finger in his ear and tilts his head to clear out the water inside. “I’m glad you got in okay. I’m so, so sorry. Again.”

read chapter three on ao3

or on wattpad!

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

Please let me know if you want to be tagged in these updates! This is my general list so those tagged here will also still be updated on other projects. If you only want to be on one and not the other, just let me know!

tagged by @jezifster to find the word sorry, shock, smoke, and stagger. thank! from The Most Beautiful Puzzle :3

sorry:

You shake your head again and finally manage to choke out, “Please don’t make me leave. I have nowhere else to go. I don’t even know what I did, but whatever it was, I’m sorry.”

shock:

“Get your laptop and phone. And meds and wallet. I’ll get the cats. We have to go.” “What—“ “Now!” It’s the first time you’ve ever heard [Josselin] yell, and you’re so shocked, you can’t to anything but comply.

smoke:

The airbag slams into your chest and smoke pours into the car. Your lungs buckle under the pressure. The smoke burns, you can’t see, you can’t breathe–

stagger

tagging @mikathewriter @frostedlemonwriter @thetruearchmagos @athenswrites @dandelion-jester to find the words run, risk, rain, and red!

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Fifteen

cw: police corruption, ACAB, gun violence, aftermath of physical violence, torture mention, hospitals, IVs/needles

When your eyes open again, it’s to a screaming voice and a flash of light. People are shouting. There’s a hand on your hip. Don’t touch me there, you want to say, but your tongue is heavy and your head is spinning and you can’t think straight. You try to close your eyes but something pries one of them back open again. The light glares into your eye so close and so bright, a migraine abruptly tacks itself onto the wooziness. Shouting. You think maybe there’s someone you recognize in there, but you can’t be sure, and now the hand is shaking at your hip and the light is in your other eye and the first clear words you hear when you finally come back to yourself is, “Please be careful! His head’s not bleeding anymore but I don’t know if he hurt his neck when he fell.” You thought you’d never hear that voice again. You could start crying, if your head didn’t already hurt so much. He made it. Josselin made it to the Inspector and they found you. “Kelley—” You try to warn him, but it comes out as mush on your tongue instead of a name. “Don’t talk, don’t talk,” Josselin says gently. “Save your energy for EMS and the doctors.” “Sir, please step back.” Your stomach lurches when a hard stretcher is forced underneath you. Someone was kind enough to put a sheet over it, but it does nothing for the pain in your shoulders and head. More yelling. Somewhere far away. Somewhere over your head. The stretcher must have been moving because suddenly it jerks to a halt. More shouting. Someone shoves the stretcher into the wall. A tense body suddenly on yours. You try to push it away, but Josselin says, “No, no, I’m not letting them hurt you any more.” His voice catches. More yelling. A gunshot.

read chapter fifteen on Wattpad here

or Ao3 here!

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Eleven

cw: drugs, chronic pain, ableism mention

When you get home, Josselin swipes everything off the dining room table—not nearly as full as the coffee table, just some paper plates and a few empty cans he forgot to throw away—and throws a plastic sheet over it. “Where did you—?” But he interrupts you. “It’s important to be prepared.” You don’t ask what that means. You lean against the wall, your weight on your good foot. The cane helps a lot. It’s much less clunky than the crutch, and way easier to get up the stairs with. You’re a little afraid to be alone with it, in case someone says something cruel. You’re only in your mid-twenties, and you’ve heard the shitty things people say about those who need mobility devices when they’re young. Some of your old coworkers said those shitty things themselves. Maybe it’s better you’re not a paramedic anymore. Not just for safety reasons. Josselin pulls on some nitrile gloves, fishes the ziploc out of his book bag, and drops it on the plastic-covered table. There’s a single piece of paper inside. He frowns. “What?” “It’s an address. A street name and number.” He rubs the fingers of his left hand together. “Yeah,” he whispers to himself. “This is what I was looking for.”

read chapter eleven on wattpad

or on ao3!

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

tagged by @jezifster to find the words Chill, Lift, Wreck, Final! thank!

we'll do Puzzle because it's more likely to have them (or similar) ol

chill cold:

“We were at a parking lot on Milwaukee by that old mostly empty mall,” Josselin says. “I was looking for something and Meara was waiting for me, and this guy paused and asked if we needed help.” “I told him it was okay,” you tack on. “That we were fine. He seemed hesitant to leave but he did when I waved him on. Then we went into the coffee shop across the street and about five minutes later he came in after us. He was watching through the window while we sat outside. When we left, he left in the opposite direction. Then Josselin contacted you.” The Inspector’s eyes are cold and serious. “What were you looking for and why?” Josselin awkwardly rubs the back of his neck. “Josselin.” The Inspector’s voice is softer, now, near pleading. “Josselin, I need to know why he was following you. What were you looking for?” Another long, nervous pause. “Josselin. Please.”

lift:

You start to move your weight back into both feet, you have to lift your left foot and circle your ankle again. You hiss softly at the dull ache. It’s mostly healed, now. It only hurts a minute or two when you put your weight on it. A tentative step to make sure, and you follow Josephine up to the counter, back tomorrow. Hopefully a good omen of things to come.

wreck ruin:

When Frankie gets back she slams the door open and nearly forgets to close it behind her. She throws herself at Josselin, hugging him tight, nose buried in his neck. Josselin hugs her back, hands fisted and trembling in the back of her shirt. “Josselin, you should have called me. I’d have come back early.” “That’s why I didn’t,” Josselin says. “I didn’t want to ruin your trip.” Frankie pulls back just enough that they’re nose to nose. “Ruin my— Josselin, I can reschedule a visit if I have to cut something short. Your safety is more important than me having a fun time.” Josselin nods once, and he sniffles, and he closes his eyes. Frankie gently rubs her thumb over his cheekbone. She wraps him in a blanket and shuffles him into his bedroom, continuing to fuss and worry over him. They leave you on the couch, and the hole in your chest gets a little bigger.

final:

”What’s going on?” But even though you try to be reassuring, your voice is high and sharp with nerves. Josselin slams the phone screen down on the bed and leans forward, clasping his hands behind his neck. “This is insane. He’s insane.” “Josselin, please!” That finally startles him out of his mumbling. He breathes, shaky, shuddering, but he breathes. You don’t, until your sharp inhale when he says, “He broke into the apartment.”

@late-to-the-fandom @smudged-red-ink @writeark @mx-ryder @winterandwords @revenantlore to find the words save, sell, sort, and soft!

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Seven

cw: panic attack, stalking, breaking and entering

The power comes on after a few hours. You have to throw out your milk and some of the frozen food, but at least you don’t have to deal with rotting meat. Everything goes quickly back to normal. Or, normal is what you hoped for. Josselin spends the next few day holed up in his room. He barely speaks to you, and when it does, it’s in short, clipped, nervous phrases. You try to tell yourself he’s just working on the case, but he seemed to really value your opinion at the station, and you’d hoped it meant a connection of some kind. Someone who likes you. Someone who respects and values your opinions. Someone who values you. Someone who cares. But now he only comes out for water and the bathroom. You haven’t seen him eat and he barely showers. The cats are in the room with him, and he keeps his doors closed except for when they’re eating. They must have another litter box in there. So you don’t even have little Familiar’s energetic company.

read chapter seven on wattpad

or on ao3!

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Sixteen/The End

cw: overdose mention, murder mention, grief over loss of a loved one, ACAB, police negligence, police corruption, aftermath of violence resulting in permanent injury

You spend most of the next week asleep on Danny’s couch. The gash in your head heals as it should. The staples get taken out. Your hair is an uneven mess. When Danny’s mom finally helps you shave your head, you have to do it with just the two of you, because you don’t want anyone else to see you cry. You’re not vain, exactly, you don’t have to look perfect, but everyone’s going to be able to see the scarring skin and you’re already tired of the looks and whispers it’s going to bring. And then, September comes. And, of course, you continue your lease with Josselin, even though you can’t officially move back in quite yet. Josselin takes photos of your injuries and has you make a note of what happened that day, so you can’t forget in your medication haze. But after that, he never talks about the day you were kidnapped. You’re grateful. You’ll have to think about it more than enough whenever the trial takes place. You don’t see the Inspector. Dona, now, you guess. That’s going to take some getting used to. He’s about ten years older than you and Josselin are, and that’s not that much, but it’s going to be weird seeing him shift from an authority figure to an equal. Although your head heals enough to get the staples taken out, your ankle feels like it doesn’t heal at all. But, eventually, you have to leave Danny’s, even though he insists you can stay as long as you need to. You still have the trial with Drake you have to deal with, and you don’t know if any of his friends are out there looking for you, so you still have to be careful, if only for the sake of the people around you. Finally, a couple of weeks later, you’re able to get up and down the stairs with the assistance of your cane on one side and the banister on the other. You’ve been back home for a few days when Donatien and Pascal come to visit again. The four of you sit crammed together at the small dining room table. You dance around the subject for a while, but every time you get up, their eyes all drop to your ankle, and Pascal is trying very hard to not look at the horrible, still pink and red scar on your head. He’s not judging you. But it’s not what he’s used to, and Josselin has said a couple of times that Pascal struggles with change. After about a half hour of carefully avoiding the subject, Dona drops it on you. “Do you want to meet Miss Miles’s parents?”

read it on Wattpad here

or on Ao3 here!

This is the final chapter! We've reached the end! Thank you so much my lovelies for coming along this journey with me! It was a new but great experience, and I'm hoping to revisit this world again in the future if I can think of more mysteries for them to solve!

Current taglist: @abalonetea @only-book-lovers-left-alive @poore-choice-of-words @leadhelmetcosmonaut @jasperygrace @drippingmoon @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create @idreamonpaper @winterandwords @thelaughingstag @revenantlore

ROY G BIV

tagged by @willtheweaver to share lines with the colors of the rainbow!

red:

It’s crowded when you get off the bus. Not as bad as weekends. Not as bad as it would be downtown. But people swarm everywhere, crowding the sidewalks, driving like maniacs, running red lights and stop signs and nearly smashing you into the asphalt like a rabbit in the wrong place at the wrong time. Your hands tremble. Your whole body trembles. If you were to try to stand still, the vibrations in your body could probably still keep you moving forward.

orange:

One by one, pieces of clothing come off. Piece by piece you bare your bodies to each other, intimate, vulnerable, safe. You finally get to see the entirety of the tattoo on his hip. It’s monochrome black vines, snaking from his hip down his thigh, with small splashes of watercolor work where each flower there blooms. An orange, cut open and segments bared, sits nestled in the middle.

yellow:

“Meara,” Danny says gently. You look up from your fingers. You’re wearing yellow nail polish today. Chipped as usual. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

green:

Morgan is tall, though not as tall as Josephine or Austin, and he’s thin and waiflike like you are. His hair is the same color and texture, and if he had green eyes and glasses, he could pass for your brother, or even your twin. He grins when he sees you and says brightly, “Hey, look at us! We match!”

blue:

You stand there, dumbstruck, as they start walking in the direction of the blue line. When they reach the corner, Josselin and Frankie turn around and wave, and then they’re gone. For a few long moments, you stare at the empty corner, until Danny gently bumps his shoulder against yours. “You’re gonna e-mail him, right?” he asks.

purple:

“Bad day?” You nod again. Then the only noise is her lunch bag unzipping. Something crinkles. You finally look up when she slides a little purple packet in front of you. “You’re vegan, right?” she says. “I think those are. There’s no gelatin.” You pick up the little bag. It’s gummy bunnies. You sniffle, and your mouth tightens, and you can’t stop the tears once they start falling, because she was thoughtful enough to share something with you when you’re sad, and if you lose this scholarship you might lose this job, and she’s like the big sister you always should have had, and what if you can’t work with her anymore, and and and–

indigo

have a couple extras!

white:

Then he crawls into your lap and your mind goes white and fuzzy. He flings one leg over you, pressing in close. Your hands fall to his hips, which you didn’t notice before, but they’re really, really nice. He sighs into your mouth and goes boneless against you. You wish you could do the same, but even though your brain has turned off, your body is still tense and ready to run.

black and gray:

“Here, you animal,” Danny says, handing you a gray and black checkered handkerchief. “Use this. Uh. Don’t put it in your pocket, though.” “Do you think I’m stupid?” you laugh. “No, I just don’t think you share my kinks,” he grins back, ruffling your hair.

tagging @revenantlore @winterandwords @oh-no-another-idea @athenswrites @magic-is-something-we-create to share lines with the colors of the rainbow too!

Find the Word Tag

tagged by @late-to-the-fandom to find four of the following: moon, noon, soon, spoon, trick, refuse, cruel, energy, draw, velvet, inspiration, side, scatter, listen, study.

I'm just going to go through The Most Beautiful Puzzle and see what I have!

tagging @willtheweaver @bluberimufim @the-angriest-author @tildeathiwillwrite @drippingmoon @revenantlore to find the words fear, faith, fail, and fight! :3

cw: home break-in, active crime scene, panic attack, ableism

moon

soon:

The Inspector leans closer to examine the spot on the screen. “Thank you,” he says. “After she leaves, nobody else arrives or leaves all night. I knew there must be a cut in the footage, I just couldn’t find where.” “So whoever did this had access to the camera footage before you got it, is what you’re saying?” you ask. “Yes,” the two say in unison. The Inspector stands back and Josselin leans in closer. He isolates the spot and zooms in, but the video is so grainy, it’s hard to tell what you’re looking at. “I want interviews with everyone who was on the field or in either of the locker rooms that day,” Josselin says. "Get any footage from the lockers and fields that day, too. From the full previous and following twenty-four hours. As soon as possible.” The Inspector is already across the room on an office phone, speaking softly to someone on the other end.

spoon:

The power is still out the next morning. Shit. Hopefully your food will be okay. At least there’s no meat. The dairy is probably going to be pretty iffy, though, and your ice cream is definitely going to be melted. You peek in your freezer. It’s barely cold. But you take out your cookies and cream ice cream anyway to have ice cream soup for breakfast. You drink it straight from the container. No point in dirtying a perfectly good bowl and spoon, especially since Josselin isn’t going to eat any of it anyway.

trick:

The floor drops from under you and your head whirls. You’re going to vomit. You’re going to cry. You’re going to hope against hope against hope they listen to the Inspector and keep him locked up. But he’s so charming, and wealthy, and manipulative, and he always gets everyone to turn against you and do everything he wants. You want to hope, but you’re so, so afraid to. Josselin turns toward you when you don’t respond and says, “We’ll take care of it.” You’d almost forgotten he’s basically a mind reader. He hasn’t done any of his investigative parlor tricks in the past few days because he hasn’t needed to. But he’s been paying attention, and he understands everything, because he continues, “We’re not going to let him manipulate his way out of this one. Okay? Breaking and entering at the same location twice in forty-eight hours? They’ll keep him locked up this time.”

refuse

cruel:

You lean against the wall, your weight on your good foot. The cane helps a lot. It’s much less clunky than the crutch, and way easier to get up the stairs with. You’re a little afraid to be alone with it, in case someone says something cruel. You’re only in your mid-twenties, and you’ve heard the shitty things people say about those who need mobility devices when they’re young. Some of your old coworkers said those shitty things themselves. Maybe it’s better you’re not a paramedic anymore. Not just for safety reasons.

energy:

After you and the Inspector share some coffee and Josselin finishes his energy drink, the Inspector goes back to his office to handle some paperwork. Pascal doesn’t come down. When you mention it to Josselin, he says, “Pascal needs to get as much sleep as he can. He needs at least ten solid hours to function properly, and once you add in his workday, there’s not much left. I’m just glad he isn’t working at the hangar anymore.” “Hangar?” “He used to repair airplanes. To put himself through college as best he could.”

draw:

Josselin nods, then pauses. “Grab her a cup of water,” he says. “She looks like she needs it.” So you draw a cup of cold water from the cooler and hand it over. Josselin doesn’t take it. “You’re coming in with me.” Your brow furrows. “What?" “You know more about drug symptoms than me. You were a paramedic for years. You’ve seen it in the field, right?” “Well… yes. But I don’t see how—“ “Just follow my lead,” Josselin says, and he steps inside.

velvet

inspiration

side:

“Inspector Montague,” [Josselin] says. You nod in acknowledgement behind him. You readjust yourself around the crutch to make it more comfortable. “We just finished a round of questions with our first potential witness.” The Inspector sighs and drags his hand down the side of his face, catching slightly on the ear loop of his mask. “Nothing?” Josselin says hesitantly. “They don’t keep security guards at the cameras overnight,” the Inspector answers. “Just until 5:00 pm. Whoever doctored the footage must have taken it then.” “Are there backups anywhere?” “Stolen.”

scatter:

[Josselin] hesitates, then picks up his phone and pokes at it a a bit. For a moment, he’s still, then his eyes close and he inhales, sharp and shaky, through his teeth. “What?” He hands you the phone. It’s the living room camera. The furniture has been upturned. Books are scattered over the floor like dead birds. The violin has been knocked over, but it doesn’t look like the case was opened, so maybe, it’s still safe. The cats have been left alone. Oh, god. Oh, Jesus. You pinch the bridge of your nose and hand the phone back to Josselin. “I’m so sorry.” Your voice hitches and breaks. You don’t even want to see what Josselin’s bedroom looks like. “This is—“ “It’s not your fault,” the Inspector says.

listen:

Just as you’re about to go upstairs, [Josselin's] phone rings. You take the first step, but then he says, “Wait a second.” You sip at your boba while he talks, very carefully not listening to what he’s saying so as not to infringe on his privacy. The phone call lasts less than thirty seconds. He hangs up and clears his throat, so you turn back around. “So. I know we just got back, but how do you feel about going downtown again?”

study:

You swipe the message to the side and make the call. You’re getting desperate, and any roommate away from your hometown is better than going back. You meet all the expectations laid out in the ad, so as long as they let you study and don’t mind your ADHD, you’re fine. Your depression is pretty much under control with meds—shit, you still have to figure out how to apply for Medicaid, you’re running low—but they don’t need to know.

Find an Excerpt (???)

@revenantlore tagged me in a game to find bits in my wip with: a line about an animal, a sad line, a line with an exclamation, and a line about family or a friend. I don't know what this game is called either but I did it once before and called it Find an Excerpt so for my tagging purposes, that is what it is XD

from The Black & Blues

cw: reference to past parental abuse, panic attack

a line about an animal:

[Josselin] smiles, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something brushes against your leg. It’s a little, gangly black cat, maybe one year old. “Sorry!” Josselin laughs. He picks it up and says, “That’s Familiar. Sorry, I should’ve told you she’s here.” His eyes widen and he looks from Familiar to you. “You aren’t allergic, are you? I should’ve asked, I’m sorry–” “No, I’m not.” He relaxes when you reassure him and he nods. He kisses the top of Familar’s head and puts her down, then takes your hand and leads you into the living room.

a sad line:

“I’m such a wimp, now,” you laugh. “When I was in high school this would have been nothing. I’d be right back up like nothing happened.” When you meet Josselin’s eyes, his face looks sad. “I’m okay,” you reassure him. He gently pushes your hair out of your face. It’s sweaty and fluffed up with humidity, but he still touches you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. It reminds you of Danny patching you up after incidents with your parents, and suddenly, in the middle of the show, while the band onstage is playing the rawest ska punk you’ve heard since Choking Victim and Leftover Crack, your throat tightens and you have to press your mouth into a thin line to keep from emoting the sadness your face wants to put out to the world. You don’t miss those days and you never will. You’re totally fine with Danny not being your boyfriend. But even though Josselin’s never been anything but the sweetest man you’ve ever met, it still breaks something inside of you. Someone treating you so gently after you’ve been hurt. You wipe at your uninjured eye with the back of your hand and gently wrap your arm around Josselin’s hip, hooking your thumb in his belt loop. You look down, afraid of the rejection you’re always expecting even this far into your relationship. He’s never once given you reason to doubt him, but sometimes your family’s voices are still a little too loud.

a line with an exclamation:

This was like when you fucked up your paper. Like when you were at your first band practice and you worried you wouldn’t be good enough. It’s like a panic attack. But why? There’s nothing different about this morning, nothing different about last night, nothing different about the ride you’re going to take home. You try to breathe through it, but your head is spinning so fast, you have to pause for a minute to steady yourself. You can’t let the line get behind but if you work like this you’ll end up fainting. You lean on your hands against the table surface, carefully, and take a few deep breaths. “Okay,” you whisper to yourself. “Okay. Whatever this is, you can work through it. Whatever this is, you’re fine.” But are you? Or are you having a heart attack? A stroke? An aneurysm? A blood clot somewhere? It’s ridiculous, you’re healthy, there’s nothing wrong with your body, why would– But what if what if what if– “Meara!” You jerk back out of your head when Rodney, the older guy on the line in front of you, shouts your name. “Pay attention, kid! You’re falling behind!”

a line about a family or friend:

About two weeks before finals, Danny finds you curled up in a blanket on your bed, staring at the wall. Your headphones are on, blaring so loud you only notice him there when he sits by your feet and the bed sinks a little. You pull off one of your headphones. “Hey,” he says. “Meara, are you okay?” He’s had to ask that far too much recently. “I’m not going to be able to do it. I’m gonna get kicked out of school.” “Meara, you don’t know that for sure–” “I do!” You whirl on him and shout. “I couldn’t bring my math grade up and even if I get a hundred percent on the final I’ll still get a B. Danny, they’re gonna kick me out, and I’m not gonna have anywhere to go.” Danny pulls you into a comforting hug and you collapse against him in tears. “They were all right. I am useless.” “Don’t talk about my best friend like that.”

tagging @wintherlywords @sleepywriter00 @coarsely @zmwrites @oh-no-another-idea to share a line about food, a line about a bad habit, a line talking about color, and a line about night time

The Most Beautiful Puzzle: Chapter Fourteen

cw: violence, police corruption, police brutality

Your eyes crash open. You gasp for breath. When you try to lift your hand to your throat, the other comes with it. What– You’re blind in the dark. It smells like old tires. The last thing you remember is being strangled and– Your whole body jerks. Oh, fuck, you’re in the trunk of their car. But you’re alone. That means Josselin got away. He got away, right? You try to kick out, but your ankles are taped together, like your wrists. Your mouth. The left ankle screams in pain as panic shoots through you. You pull, hard and sharp, against the tape. No give. Okay, okay, you have to be calm. Stranger danger. What do you do if you get kidnapped? Try to leave clues. You have to leave something for Josselin to find. You squint as your vision adjusts to the dark. Aside from your heavy, sharp breaths, it’s quiet. No traffic. No honking. No witnesses.

read chapter fourteen for free on wattpad

or on ao3!

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