Part 2 of: In My Arms - Zach Herron

Zach Herron x fem!reader (she/her pronouns) last part of part 1

Summary: Your husband is back after being gone for a while. (angst to fluff)

AN: I couldnt keep it angsty the whole time lol. I'm a sucker for a happy ending. Go read the first part if you want. Angsty at the beginning but turns fluff. Come talk to me once you're done.

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(This takes place after Zach gets back from the writing session and the kids are asleep)

Y/N’s POV

There’s an amazing amount of tension in a room that just has two people in it. It’s just me and Zach in the kitchen. The kids have been put to bed hours ago.

I’m sitting on top of the kitchen island, while Zach stands at the entrance of the kitchen. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the glass I was drinking water out of. While I walk over to the dishwasher, I can feel his eyes on me. I just continued with what I was doing. Focusing on my hands and tuning him out. Trying anything to forget that Zach is right there.

Zach got back from the writing session just a couple of hours ago. He spent the time with the kids while I stayed off to the side. I didn’t want to start anything in front of them. They don’t need to experience that. Now that they’re asleep, I don’t have to pretend that everything’s alright.

“Hello? Are you even going to talk to me?” my husband’s voice resounds all around the kitchen as he walks closer to me.

Quickly walking out of the kitchen, I hear Zach slam his hand on the countertop before following after me into the living room.

“Babe, what is going on with you?” he asks. Just by the way he said that, I can tell that he’s becoming increasingly worried.

Sitting down on the couch (that I spent most of the nights crying and sleeping on. I couldn’t sleep on our bed because it brought back so many memories. But, he doesn’t need to know that) I fold my arms and look at anything but him. That is enough for him to know that something is seriously wrong.

“Oh, the silent treatment. Really?” he scoffed while shaking his head.

“Real fucking mature Y/N.” he said sarcastically.

That’s what caught my attention. Quickly standing up and making eye contact with him I can’t help but say,

“Says you, the one who was out partying at a club and chea-“ I cut myself off before I finish the sentence. If I say it out loud, I’m afraid that it might come true. That would be horrible for me and the kids. I know what it’s like to grow up with divorced parents. It's literal shit. I do not want my kids to experience that.

“No, go ahead and say it Y/N. Say it to my face” he responds with malice in his voice.

When I open my mouth to speak, the words get stuck in the back of my throat.

“If you’re going to accuse me of cheating on you at least have the decency to say it to my face” he yells angrily, taking a step towards me.

Shaking my head no, I look down so he won’t be able to see the tears forming in my eyes.

“No what Y/N? You need to talk to me,” the way the tone of his voice changed surprised me. I was expecting him to still yell at me and have that angry look in his eyes. However, when I looked up I saw the worried and caring eyes I fell in love with all those years ago.

Zach walked closer and pulled me into his arms.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you babe. I’m just tired and haven’t been feeling the best without my amazing family by my side. I know that’s not an excuse, but I really need you to talk to me. What’s going on?”

Sniffling I look up at him and I can’t help but to let it all out,

“That night when I called you there was a woman in the background. She asked if you were ready. You hung up right away and said that you didn’t want me to hear her and that was what started it all. I tried telling myself that I was being irrational but then…”

“Y/N, honey…” Zach says

“No, let me finish, please,” he nods, “then I remembered that you didn’t call or answer our calls for five days before that. That put a big toll on me and on our kids. It just hurt so much,” I take a deep breath before continuing. “Then to top it all off, you call me from a club and criticize my parenting,” my voice becomes bitter “when you know how hard I try especially when you’re not here.

“You want to know what really made it worse, I hear that woman’s voice again. I don’t get to see my husband for who knows how long and then, having to hear this woman’s voice every time I call. You weren’t here and I didn’t have anyone's support. That’s why I’ve been…” I get cut off by my own sob.

“…why you have been sleeping on the couch and crying most nights,” Zach finishes for me.

Shock passes my face. I stumble out, “how did you know?”

He can’t help the smile appear on his face, “your incredible kids did. Riley and Sophia told me they saw you crying on the couch one day. And that you never went up to bed and they always heard crying noises,” the smile disappears, “Okay I’m going to explain now but it might be long so be ready,” he finishes.

“You don’t hav-” I start but get cut off.

“Oh no missy don’t even start. I know you want an explanation and you deserve to hear from me.”

He takes a deep breath before continuing.

“I know that you think I was cheating but it was nothing like that. The woman you heard was a realtor. I was looking for a house to buy since I know you wanted a place to travel to during the summer and winter time and that you love that part of the country. I was so busy that when I was done it was already so late that I didn’t want to call. That’s why I didn’t call for those five days. Then when you called, we were just getting ready to go look at a house that I had a good feeling about. She asked if I was ready to leave and I responded how I did because I didn’t want you to hear her because I was afraid she was going to spoil the surprise. I hung up quickly just in case. I’m sorry for that. About what I said in the club, I was drunk and I was just taking my insecurities out on you. I know you’re an amazing mom and those kids wouldn’t be who they are without you. There’s a reason why I put four children in you,” he gives me a cheeky smile.

“I just so happened to run into her at the club with her girlfriend. She said that I had to figure out what I wanted before I left in regards to the houses we saw. I know it must have sounded wrong but it meant nothing. I’m sorry if you felt like I was lying and I’m sorry if it felt like I broke my promises. I know what you were probably thinking at night all alone Y/N. So I’m telling you this right now and I mean it truthfully, you will always be safe in my arms Y/N. Nothing, not even a fucking house can tear us apart.”

I smiled at him, thankful for his explanation. I knew I made the right decision in saying yes when he proposed. All of my worries seemed to disappear. We were going through a hard time in our relationship, but the important things stayed the same. He is an amazing husband and father just as I am an amazing wife and mother. Relationships are never easy but when they get hard, it’s up to the two people in love to make up for it and I think Zach and I did an amazing job. “I understand Zach, I'm so sorry for how I reacted.”

“It’s alright babe. Come on let’s go cuddle upstairs in our bed together, before the kiddos wake up.

And that’s exactly what we did. In each other's arms.

(And yes Zach got me the most amazing vacation house ever. I can’t wait to check it out.)

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AN: Ahhhh okay here it is. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know what you think down below. Love you all and have a great rest of your day!

- Kara (upindreamland)

You can’t replace Us

Pairing: Jonah Marais x Plus Size Reader

Summary: Jonah found out you’re talking to someone else after the break up…

Note: Sorry I haven’t been as active on here guys I’ve been super super busy I promise to try and be on here more.

Warnings🛑: smut(unprotected vaginal sex, dubcon aspects, dom/sub aspects, oral(fem receiving), overstimulation), jonah being possessive😍

As much as you tried, your ex-boyfriend had been the only thing on your mind lately…

The break up was pretty nasty, you were sent multiple videos and messages of him being seen kissing or making out with other girls. He claimed them to be fake, but you were so angry and hurt you couldn’t listen to anything he had to say. You packed your stuff and drove to a close friends house to crash for the time being.

It’s been a little over two months, neither of you had even attempted to speak to the other. Dani tried to mediate but it just made things worse, he hated seeing two of his best friends fighting when he knew they belonged together.

Rumors soon started speculating of you supposedly messaging another guy, and that was Jonah’s ticking point. He grabbed his keys and wallet, furiously stomping to his car before speeding to where you were staying.

You were laying in bed when suddenly Jonah burst into the room, scaring the shit out of you. He yanked your legs down to the edge of the bed, a look of pure anger on his handsome face. He bent close, shoving himself between your legs.

“Who is he?” Jonah hissed as he squeezed your thick thighs in his large hands.

“What are you talking about?” you asked, shoving at his chest and failing to get him away from you. 

“The fucker you’ve been messaging and meeting up with?!” he exclaimed, taking your hands that were pushing him and pinning them above your head.

This compromising position made your heart thump in a way you didn’t want it to, he couldn’t win.

“Not that it’s any of your business since you cheated on me, but I’m not talking or meeting up with anyone. I haven’t left this bed since we broke up Jonah.” you explained with annoyance as you tried to buck your hips to push him off, but this only made you rub your lower half against the bulge in his pants.

“How many fucking times do I have to tell you I didn’t cheat!” Jonah growled, subtly grinding down into you.

“J-Jonah, don’t.” you gasped, his smirk sinister as he removed one hand and trailed it down your cheek to your neck.

“I know you can’t resist me baby, and I can’t resist you.” he whispered wickedly, a shiver ran down your spine.

You didn’t remember how it happened, but the next thing you knew was that you and Jonah were both heatedly making out, clothes were being torn off, and hands could not stay in one place. His kisses trailed down your neck, leaving deep purple marks on your skin. You returned the favor of course, then he was venturing lower.

“JoJo,” you whispered, watching as he spread your legs so he had full access to your lower region.

“So beautiful,” he spoke to himself before diving in.

Jonah couldn’t help himself as he buried his face in your wetness, licking and slurping at you like he’d been deprived for years. Your head flew back into the pillows, the feeling of his skilled tongue working you sent shivers down your spine. His hands smoothed up under your thighs, intertwining your fingers when he found them firmly gripping the sheets.

You held on tight as you quickly felt your high coming, but Jonah never lost his pace with his amazing mouth. He held you down as you squirmed, removing his fingers from yours to clamp your hips down as he shook his head into you.

“Fuck-shit-‘m gonna cum baby, please, please.” you whined, gasping as he sucked harshly on your clit.

A loud moan escaped as you came in his mouth, Jonah wasting no time drinking it all in. He couldn’t help himself as he kept licking, sucking, and savoring your taste. Meanwhile you were seeing stars since he hadn’t stopped since your first orgasm which had quickly became a second and third.

You pushed at his head, the euphoric feeling becoming too overwhelming, but all Jonah did was grasp your hands in his and hold them down as he held you down. It was at your fifth orgasm your legs began shaking uncontrollably, the pleasure you felt was so intense you could barely open your eyes.

Jonah finally gave you a break as he sat up, observing what a mess he made of you. He watched your chest heaved as you struggled to catch your breath, grinning as he slapped your sensitive pussy. Your body jumped as your eyes slowly opened and focused. He leaned over you, gently kissing your lips.

“I love you, and I would never, ever cheat on you. Whatever you saw was a lie, a scheme from people who are jealous and want to tear us apart.” he spoke softly against your lips.

“I believe you, I’m sorry baby.” you whispered, weakly caressing his cheek as you wrapped your legs around his waist.

“You’re my girl, only mine.” he said, pushing his cock into your opening so deliciously it was like heaven.

“Yes, and you are my JoJo.” you moaned, twisting your fingers in his hair.

Jonah couldn’t help himself as his thrusts started slow and loving then his hips started slamming into yours, but he knew you loved it. A scream of his name let him know he hit your gspot, grinning as he rammed his dick into it over and over until you came.

“Jonah!” you squealed, scratching down his toned back as he smashed his lips to yours.

It wasn’t long after he let go, planting himself firmly inside of you. The warmth of his cum made you shiver, smiling against his lips and the two of you came down from your highs. One more kiss later he lifted himself off of you and quickly got a washcloth to clean you up.

“Sorry baby,” he murmured when he hit a sensitive area.

“It’s alright my love,” you smiled, grateful he was so gentle.

He tossed the rag to the side before crawling back into your arms, laying his head on your chest. You wrapped yourself around him, loving his big hands feel all the parts of your body you hated.

“I love you,” he said quietly, his beautiful eyes met yours as he looked up at you.

“I love you so much handsome.” you grinned, kissing his nose before cuddling back up to him.

“Wanna watch Harry Potter?” he asked excitedly.

“Of course, you know I can’t ever say no to that.” you giggled.

Henceforth the night ended with you and Jonah cuddled naked while binge watching Harry Potter, it was perfect.

Taglist:

@gillybear17 @simpingbutch @halsmultibitch @bailsbeauty

gone | jonah marais

update! hey everyone, i just got home from living in the mountains for six months. i was living and spending all of my time with 4 of the most amazing people i have ever met. say good bye to them was one of the hardest things i have ever done and to be honest, i am a mess. so i wrote bc it comforts me. i love you all, and make sure to cherish and appreciate your loved ones a little more this holiday season <3

summary: he has to go, and you’re not sure when you’ll see him next, or if you ever will

warnings: angst. no plot. just angst. i am truly sorry

it hurt.

it ached.

it was empty.

and it was bleak.

you know he tried to be quiet when he got out of bed that morning, hoping not to wake you because maybe slipping away would be easier.

of course you woke up though, the shift in the mattress and the fading of his warmth made you stir. once the consciousness flooded your brain you just felt empty. it was blank. you knew what was coming, you knew it was gonna be hard.

he left to put the last few things in his car, leaving you there in bed alone.

you stared at the ceiling but didn’t really see anything, the only way to describe how it felt was numb. there was no sensation.

he came back of course, standing in the doorway watching you, missing you already. finally you turned your head, his eyes meeting yours.

you had always told him his eyes looked like the earth, but maybe that’s just because he was your world.

“guess this is it” he muttered, voice thick and broken.

you were sitting up now, already pulling yourself to your feet and shuffling over to him, arms wrapping around his waist.

you hated goodbyes, and this was by far the worst one.

he held your shoulders and buried his nose against your neck. you could feel his intake of air against your skin and the soft back and forth motion of his thumb along your shoulder blade.

“bye.” it was so quiet, it was dreadful.

“don’t say that.” it was a soft cry from the back of your throat, begging him to stay.

“see you next time.” he tried again, kissing were your neck and shoulder connect and then all the way up to your lips, slowly and intentionally, as if searing himself into your skin.

“i love you.” you squeezed him a bit tighter, pushing into your toes to get closer.

“i love you more.” you didn’t think it was possible, but you didn’t say anything.

he finally let you go and you stared at each other for a second that felt like a lifetime.

his hand slid down your arm until his fingers met yours and he squeezed three times, one last way to say “i love you.”

you closed your eyes and attempted a smile, nodding gently. “be safe jo.” you told him as your own form of sentiment towards him.

“always.” he promised, kissing the back of your palm and holding your hand until he couldn’t reach anymore.

then he was gone.

tags! @randomlimelightxxx @baby-bearie @averysbestyears @would-you-tell-me-who-you-are @g7aesthetic @babyzachyy @wdwjay02 @chilling-seavey @bessonbabie @my-fangirling-outlet @hiya-its-amber @katie-avery @theduckgoesquack @coffearabica

Needing You | J.M.

a/n: inspired by leehom wang's 需要人陪 :’) the vid and the song is a masterpiece !!! and i can’t believe it’s my bday already D: anyways non-curly haired jonah supremacy people ;) happy reading <3

summary: jonah realised that you were the one for him and vice versa.

warnings: starts off a lil angsty ➳ super dee duper vague smut ➳ a lil fluff bc we all need it

word count: 3596

Jonah had always felt alone.

It was a ridiculous feeling to have for someone like him—a famous boy band star with millions of fans who cheered for him at every concert, followers that showed him so much of love and support online and friends and family who always had his back even when he entered troubled waters.

But at the end of the day when it was time to return to his empty bedroom, his status didn’t mean anything anymore. His expensive house was beautiful, ornately designed inside and out by a skilled architect and elegantly furnished but he still found it so empty, even when he’s living with his friends. It wasn’t hard for him to find out the reason: there was nothing waiting for him there, nothing for him to look forward to. He was nothing more than an exhausted, lonely soul who had no one to turn to for affection or comfort when night fell and he’s once again all alone in his room.

Tonight wasn’t any different.

Jonah pushed the sliding doors open to let some fresh air in. The sounds of laughter from his roommates and their respective girlfriends in the living room was so loud that they could faintly be heard from his room, a stark contrast to the silence in his bedroom that was deafening, suffocating, even.

He leant against the door frame for a moment, hands tucked snugly in the pockets of his sweatpants as he stared at the endless night sky. There were no stars in sight, the light pollution in LA being too strong and all, so he closed his eyes before letting out a sigh.

He knew how miserable he looked at that moment. Even his friends’ laughter seemed to be mocking him now. He had gotten used to staying single since he was tired of dealing with gold-diggers who only had eyes on his money yet sometimes he couldn’t help but wonder why there seemed to be someone for everyone but none for him?

His mom has his dad; Daniel has Emily; Jack has Gabriela...the list goes on and on.

To be frank, there was one girl who had unintentionally weaved her way into his mind and his heart and had been residing there from the day she walked up to him at a party and tried to flirt with him. You.

You weren’t beautiful for something as temporary as your looks like the other girls that he had dated in the past. You were beautiful for the way you thought, for the sparkle in your eyes when you talked about something you loved, for your ability to make other people (especially him) smile even if you were feeling under the weather. You were beautiful, deep down to your soul and he couldn’t stop his urge to get to know you better, to spend time with you, to take care of you despite constantly denying his growing feelings towards you whenever anyone asked.

So one thing led to another and one night you found each other bare skin against skin, lips on lips and...bodies joined into one as he buried his length inside you and sinful symphonies of your moans and cries of his name filled the room. The first time was a drunken mistake but you both couldn’t get enough of each other so it happened again, the blissful night ending with you swearing that it’d be the ‘last time’. But it happened again. And again. And again. Until your promise that ‘this will be the last time we do this’ no longer held any meaning because you both knew that you would always eventually find yourselves back in the same situation.

That was how both of you ended up becoming ‘friends with benefits’. Although never referring to each other as such, a silent pact was there, a fine line between a platonic and romantic relationship that neither of you dared to cross.

No strings attached.

So when his heart skips a beat or two or maybe more whenever he sees you, when he almost forgets how to breathe whenever you are in close proximity, when his protective instincts kick in whenever another guy’s stare lingers on you for much longer than necessary, he had to remind himself repeatedly that “you are nothing more than a friend” and he shouldn’t be caring for and thinking about you this much.

The moment he started to convince himself that he wasn’t in love with you was when he realised that he was, in fact, already head over heels in love with you.

Maybe that’s why these couple of days without being able to see you because you were busy with work had been nearly driving him crazy.

His phone buzzed, yanking him back into reality. A smile involuntarily crept onto his face when he saw the sender of the short text. Ah, speak of the devil.

y/n: hey, u awake?

He typed a reply right away.

jonah: yeah...can’t sleep

He hesitated for a bit before adding three more words and he pressed ‘send’ before he could change his mind.

jonah: kinda miss u

A ‘typing’ text bubble appeared, then disappeared before appearing again shortly afterwards.

y/n: want me to come over? :)

His heart sank when you didn’t mention anything about missing him too but it’s fine. He’s fine. At least he was the one you chose to text in the middle of the night, he comforted himself.

jonah: nah, you stay where you are. I’ll go to your place. It’s dangerous to drive at night

He was already putting on a sweater, not forgetting to grab an extra one so he wouldn’t have to stay shirtless if you wanted to keep the one he’s wearing, which was something you always did (and he’d never say no to you because you always, always looked so stunning in his clothes) before grabbing his keys. A ding sounded from his phone again.

y/n: but it isn’t dangerous for u?

He rolled his eyes, but a smile remained on his face as he made his way downstairs and out the front door, past his tipsy friends whose offers to join them were turned down by him, ignoring their drunken pleas for him to stay and have fun. He turned his attention back to his phone once he’s outside.

jonah: i’m just looking out for u dumbass

jonah: and my driving skills are better than you soooo

y/n: yea whatever; but on a serious note, i honestly don’t deserve u (ﾉ꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ) ﾉ♡

jonah: good to know u think so too

y/n: you prick >:( i take my words back

jonah: too late :P see u later

He got into his car and turned off his phone, putting it away, hence missing the text from you that came seconds later.

y/n: can’t wait to be showered by your kisses (*˘︶˘*) drive safe! ily x

You never truly understood the whole concept of love, romantic-wise that is.

Some said it’s sweet, yet more as fresh fruit than candy or confectionary. Others said it’s colourful, yet more as summer blooms than the neon lights of frenetic city streets.

You never understood what they meant and often dismissed the sappy descriptions of love as nothing other than a bunch of bullshit until you met Jonah, and you found yourself spiralling deeper into the rabbit hole of love, a feeling you once thought of as totally absurd and a complete waste of time.

Then again, it wasn’t your fault that Jonah was an easy guy to love; he was sweet, charming, endearing and so much more. So it’s not a surprise that falling in love with him was the easy part; it's admitting to yourself that it happened that's hard.

Because admitting your feelings meant that you had to deal with them; and dealing with them equaled confrontation that might put whatever friendship between the both of you at risk, or even destroy it.

So you played everything cool and made him think that you were perfectly content with staying in the friend zone while maintaining a strictly physical relationship with him although it killed you to not be able to call him yours, not be able to keep his hoodies forever and wear them whenever because you didn’t have the right to.

Everything went well, until you were forced to not be able to see him for almost a week because of work and you missed him so terribly that you swore you might combust, especially when you found out from his text that you were on his mind too.

Did he mean it platonically? Or maybe, just maybe, he felt the same way as you did? Your brain had barely enough time to fully process the meaning of his simple text before your itchy fingers which seemed to have a mind of its own had already typed a reply that ended with an ‘ily’ and pressed on the blue arrow button, causing your line of text to disappear for a couple of seconds before reappearing in a blue text bubble on the screen with the word ‘delivered’ written in a tiny grey font below it. Shit.

You debated whether to delete the message or just leave it there and ultimately decided to go with the latter but you started to panic when it stayed on delivered even as half an hour passed.

The chime of your doorbell stopped your overthinking—only for a moment though—before you opened the door and was greeted with the sight of Jonah towering over you at the doorway. A familiar sense of nervousness bloomed in your stomach, slowly spreading to all parts of your body and your heart sped up a little, as if you went back in time and were once again a lovesick schoolgirl who had just met her crush for the first time.

“Hi,” both of you said at the same time and giggles erupted at the coincidence.

“Can’t believe you’re finally here,” without thinking twice, you latched your arms around him before jumping and wrapping your legs around his waist. Jonah didn’t miss a beat, both hands already in place beneath your thighs to give you support.

“Someone’s happy to see me,” he teased, walking into your apartment and shutting the door behind him with a kick. You were glowing with so much happiness when you look at him that he almost melted on the spot. He grinned, amused. “It has only been a week, Y/N.”

“That’s still too long for me,” you whined like a little child, burying your head in the crook of his neck, the faint masculine scent of his expensive cologne engulfing your senses. He started walking, and you didn’t even need to look to know that he’s heading towards your bedroom. “Couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Oh really?” He asked and you nodded. “Or were you actually missing the good sex i give?”

“You don’t give good sex so I don’t see a point in missing something that never existed,” you replied swiftly and he laughed but didn’t say anything back, far too used to your ‘i’ll-keep-teasing-you-nonstop-until-you’ll-feel-like-killing-me’ personality, a trait of yours that might be annoying in certain circumstances, yet it was still something he loved so dearly, along with all the other parts of you. “I just miss my best friend. A…a little too much. Is that normal?”

He carefully laid you onto your bed. “Nothing about our relationship is normal, y/n,” he said, tossing his extra sweater to the side before climbing on top of you, hands placed on either side of your head. “Best friends don’t do the things we do.”

“Then what are we?” Your voice dropped to a whisper. His face is close, so close to yours that your mind can hardly function.

“You tell me,” he gave you the freedom to decide. Jonah has always been like this with you. Whenever there’s a choice that has to be made, he always lets you have a say in it first.

But this time, you can’t give him an answer. This is dangerous. Feelings are dangerous. And not to mention complicated. You can try to squeeze your brain juices till the very last drop and still be incapable of finding the right words to describe the burning desire for him.

So you choose to show him with your actions instead, hoping that he’ll get the message and even if he doesn’t, it’ll be fine. You’ll be fine…you think.

Your worries died in an instant, however when your lips collided with his, having closed the distance between the both of you by pulling him into you with your hands clutching onto the front of his sweater.

You might be the one who initiated the kiss, but he was the one who took the lead, tongue prodding at your lip and you granted him access to your wet cavern. His tongue then lapped at yours, earning a low purring from you that echoed through the space as your hands habitually slithered around him to tug at his brown locks. He smiled into the kiss because God, he’d never get tired of tasting you.

You were sweet, so so sweet and the lewd sounds of your make-out session reverberating in the room vividly were the only reminder that you were indeed here with him and not a mere conjuration of his imagination.

He loathed to part from you, but he did because you both needed oxygen. You looked up at him with your flushed cheeks and swollen lips, looking ever so delicate and fragile under him. He brushed a stray strand of hair out of your face, and let his hand linger on your cheek.

“What do you want us to be, y/n?” He asked and you hated that you don’t have a confident answer for his question.

“I…I don’t know,” you sounded so small, so weak. You would’ve hated that, once, but today, you could accept that you were weak for him and you didn’t mind laying yourself bare in front of him because you knew that Jonah would never ever use your weaknesses to his advantage. With him, you were safe and sound. So you gathered your courage and decided to tell him the truth, holding onto the small shred of hope that he might feel the same way too and trusted that your friendship was strong enough to remain unchanged even if he didn’t. “But…I think we,” you took a deep breath. His eyes searched yours for any clue about what you were about to say next.

“We can’t be friends anymore.”

His breathing stilled as all the air was ripped from his lungs. “Why?” He isn’t prepared to lose you, can’t think of a life without you, can’t—

But you weren’t finished talking yet. “Because…I think I’m in love with you,” you blurted everything in one go.

Jonah couldn’t breathe again, but for completely different reasons now.

It felt like time stopped all of a sudden, with both of you looking at each other in total silence, a shocked expression written all over his face whereas yours was painted in regret.

“Oh my gosh, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know what is wrong with me oh shit shit shit shit…” you cursed under your breath, along the tense silence, hands flew to cover your beet red face, so embarrassed you might as well just dig a hole and hide in there forever. “Just forget about everything I’ve said. I’m so sorry gosh—“

“y/n, look at me,” He pried your hands off your face gently. “Calm down, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s…it’s not fine at all,” your lip quivered and you felt like crying because of your stupid nerves. You averted your gaze from his, your expression solemn. “Because you’ll never feel the same way about a plain nobody like me and I…I completely understand that.”

“Hey, Y/N, listen to me,” he lifted his hand and held your chin, tilting your head so you were looking directly at him. “You aren’t just a ‘plain nobody’ to me. You’re the most beautiful, most talented, kindest girl I’ve ever known…”

“…and I’m in love with you too, you know,” he admitted so softly that you would’ve missed his words if your current attention wasn’t focused solely on the nearly perfect man before you. “Have been for a long time.”

“Really?” You couldn’t believe your ears.

“Of course, y/n,” his voice was thick with emotion and that was how you knew that he wasn’t lying. “I’m all yours.”

He kissed you again, swallowing your dreamy sighs but this time, when he broke the kiss, he slowly, carefully, undressed you,  hands and lips never leaving your skin as he made his way down your body, exploring your curves and edges that was long engraved in his memory yet they felt so new, so different under his touch. He handled you with the utmost care as if you were his most prized possession. He took his sweet time ravishing you, prioritising your pleasure over his, ensuring that you felt good the entire process.

And when your bodies joined at long last and your insides were filled with his release while his length was covered in yours, you flipped him over so he was now lying beneath you, before leaning down to land a kiss on his lips.

“My turn.”

His skin was warm and it felt nice to the touch, so you practically melted completely into his embrace to the point where the side of your cheek was pressed against his shoulder and the rest of your body was curled up in his arms.

You were in nothing but his sweater, the rest of your clothes scattered haphazardly across the bedroom floor and he, too, was almost bare with nothing but his underwear on. You laid there in comfortable silence, contentedly basking in each other’s presence, utterly worn out.

“Go on tour with me and the band next month,” he said out of the blue. “I don’t think I can live without seeing you for months.”

“But what if your fans find out about us?”

“What about it? Pretty girl is too embarrassed to be seen with someone like me?” He joked and you snorted.

“You know what I meant,” you gave his shoulder a weak shove. “What if they end up hating me?”

“They won’t,” he replied without any ounce of hesitation.

“But—“

He placed a finger on your lips. “Let me do all the worrying, okay?” He cut you off, his tone gentle. “You think about something else. Don’t wanna tire out your pretty little mind.”

You wanted to retort but he stopped you before you could get any words out.

“Plus, it’s late. Sleep first,” a kiss on the crown of your head. “Talk tomorrow. Goodnight, love.”

You felt warm and fuzzy inside upon hearing the way the pet name rolled off his tongue so naturally, as if it wasn’t the first time used it on you. “Goodnight, Jo. Sweet dreams,” you gave him a quick peck on the lips. “I love you.”

“Love you more,” you were about to open your mouth to protest when he added, “And don’t bother to fight me on this.”

“Fine,” you let out a breathy chuckle. “You win.”

“Good,” you didn’t have to look to know that he was smiling because you could practically hear it in his voice. He held you close to him under the covers, his arms tightening around you as his breathing gradually slowed into a steady pace not long afterwards, as if he was afraid that you would slip away during his sleep if he wasn’t careful.

Sleep consumed him first so you were left alone in the dark with your thoughts that were all over the place. You had yet to manage to wrap your head around everything that had happened, still in disbelief that you were currently in the arms of the man of your dreams, huddled on your double bed that used to feel too spacious, too cold.

Most importantly, you couldn’t believe that you were capable of love.

You tend to pull people close, then push them away harshly once they get too close and start to see through your tough facade, fearing that they’d one day be able to catch a glimpse of the real you. The vulnerable side of you. You had had these very efficient defences built up around you for so long and he just walked through every single one of them with ease. You could ask how he did it, but what's the point? He was here, like a beautiful fallen angel right in front of you and you were so glad, even if you’re still sometimes hiding, imagining a distance instead of seeing him right there, always looking at you with a soft gaze that you couldn’t decipher and a smile that never failed to light up your world.

It might still take some time to get used to the change—get used to having someone to lean on, to count on, to share your burdens with because you have Jonah now; to keep you warm and safe during the darkest and chilliest of nights, to be your light that shines on the right path that leads you home whenever you lose your way and to be the one who loves you even at your worst, something that, now that you thought about it, he had already been doing since the very beginning.

And you couldn't be anymore grateful.

taglist: @chilling-seavey @neralondon @anora-lightwoodbane @randomlimelightxxx @hopinglimelight @kvd963 @cutiebandlover202 @savspersonalproperty @slowdownatthelotusinn @angelmarais @freakshows199 @my-fangirling-outlet @the-girl-who-cried-wolf @sadbitchfangirl @hopinglimelight

GREY — djs

the series

[ not my gif !! ]

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒...!

— when daniel forgets his relationship more the he likes to admit, his girlfriend, alaska, is done being put on the back burner of his life. ultimately deciding on breaking up with him, will daniel realize his mistake? or will we be left with only feeling grey?

ONE.

alaska was young and inexperienced when it came to dating, but she knew one thing in her life.

this should've never been this hard.

she shouldn't have to feel like she was constantly fighting for any kind of attention. and if that made her sound clingy, well to bad. it still wasn't right.

daniel seavey. yes the daniel seavey, daniel seavey from why dont we. the love of alaska's life.

or at least that's what she initially thought.

the daniel that tried so hard to get confidence to ask alaska out, coming up with idea after idea with input from the guys to get you and him to confess feelings for one another. was now suddenly ignoring alaska, and she had no idea why.

she used to smiled when she saw his contact that read, 'dani baby💞' but now text after text she would send would be left on delivered with now response. she rolled her eyes and sighed as she changed his contact to, 'dani🥀' 

alaska knew daniel was living his dreams with his best friends, and had responsibilities. she knew that and most of all understood all the stress. especially after the nine month hiatus break that felt like it would never end, the hate, and all the chaos the world has come to. she knew that fans would want him to speak up about everything even if he already has. she knew limelight's needed him and the boys more then ever.

but alaska's tolerance was really being strained when he decided not to show up to dates without telling alaska, leaving her for hours on end just to receive a stupid half-assed from daniel.

and with every single texted unread, and calls unanswered, to time after time fighting for daniel's attention at home, alaska felt her heart break more and more, with pain and annoyance.

especially in this very moment, laying on their shared bed for about five hours, her phone held loosely to her ear as she tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear, she listened to his voice mail for what felt like the millionth time that night. alaska felt her heart break more.

alaska didn't left a voicemail to him, he never checked them anyways. well, he didn't check hers. with a small sniffle alaska rubbed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, she hung up. she fought back the tears in her eyes, 'why should i be crying over someone who's basically forgotten about me?' alaska mumbled as she cleaned up the fort she made in their room, taking down the pillows that were comfy. taking down the fort daniel used to love.

it shouldn't be this hard.

a/n !! this is my first ever series i’ve written! i hope you guys like it!

I just want to know why everyone writes plus size readers as ashamed of their body like I get it’s for the angst but you can find so many other ways to do angst eith olus sized readers without making them completely hate themselves and come unhinged at the site of them and I say this because yes some feel this way but there’s also another side of plus sized readers who used to feel that way and no longer feel that way and I just don’t think anyone ever wants to write a positive representation for plus sized women.

Please do prove me wrong by sending me some plus size women stories though that aren’t like that :)

“Hey, that’s my song!” // Daniel x Reader

word count: 1k

warnings: cheesy, kind of gross, wrote it in literally like 45 minutes, also inspired by tiktok

soulmate au where you can hear what your soulmate is listening to and vice versa. really fluffy and there's like no plot at all lol

hello I'm back from the dead

call me Taylor swift (Bri added this in)

Okay so 

Basically this doesn't make any sense logically but its a tiktok thing and i wanted to write about it

So

Here we go

One day, you’re just chillin

And all of a sudden, you hear quiet music in the back of your mind 

Like it wasn’t playing out loud like you originally thought, but rather playing inside your head

Confused, you turn to the internet for answers

A quick google search later, you find out its a type of soulmate link

The link allows you to hear what song they’re listening to

And whoever they were, definitely had good taste

It didn’t sound familiar, but it slapped

You couldn’t hear it well, but you did pick up a few lyrics

So you wrote them down immediately, determined to find said song

Because it slapped 

THAT hard

Like she was a banger

Bopping

You were jamming along, when it suddenly stopped

With a shrug, you decide to go along with the rest of your day

The song, beyond any doubt, has stuck in your head since then

Meanwhile over at Daniel’s…

He was working on a song in the studio, but what's new

Absolutely nothing

Nada

N e way

Humming along to the beat he was creating, you could say he was really in his divine state

Slowly but surely, he heard a melody in his noggin

A familiar tune filled his earsIt was a song by lauv, who happened to be his friend

He didn’t really remember the name of the song, but he was definitely familiar with it

“Good choice, soulmate.” he mumbled to himself

“What was that?” Jonah asked, “Did you say something?”

“Yeah,” he replied, “my soulmate is listening to a song right now.” 

“Oh cool, i didn’t know you had that link but it's very fitting for a very musical mans like you.”

“Yeah man.” Daniel says with a small smile, “she has nice flavor.” 

Okay back to you

A week has gone by, and youre on your way to a cafe

Fast, right? Well I'm lazy

We zoomin

Also pretend we aren't in a pandemic and they can actually go outside and go to cafes and interact with people without dying

After hearing the song, you tried looking it up

But to no prevail, you came out empty handed

Maybe the song wasn’t out yet?

Was your soulmate a musician???T

hat would be pretty sweet, if you ask me

Anyway

You know what’s super funny? 

Daniel is also there

Crazy!!! Its totally not like i’m writing this to make it work

You walk up to the cashier 

Humming the tune you originally heard

Because she do be stuck

Get some goo be gone

Because she's sticky

Daniel happens to be right in front of you, but since you happen to have no clue who they are for some reason

you don’t notice theres a lowkey famous person right under your nose

As you’re humming away, attention on the menu in front of you

Daniel NOTICES

He notices something…

Sus

He hears a melody, which sounds new but also very familiar

When suddenly it hits him

Its his song!!!! 

But the one that isn’t out yet

How would they know??? What is this?? What am I???? 

He turns

!!!!!

And he’s faced with you

You, who by now has spaced out, does not notice

Come on man, why 

I guess thats on me tho

He taps your shoulder

“Hey.” he says

“Hi.” you reply, “Can i help you?”

“Yeah, actually. What is that you’re humming?”

You look down at your feet with a sheepish smile. 

“I actually dont know.”

He gives you a weird look, but shrugs.“It’s a good melody, I like it.”

“Same here! I think my soulmate played it, thats the only reason why i know. Do you happen to know the song???”

He grins at you

And breaks out into a laugh

Haha

“Actually, that's my song you’re humming! Its not out yet tho.”

And then you go :000000

“No way! That’s crazy man.”

“Yeah,” he says, “i have no idea how you know it. Maybe your soulmate is like one of my producers or something.” 

“Yeah...crazy.” 

You frown a little to yourself

The man before was pretty good looking

A swell looking fellow if you do say so yourself

You definitely would not mind if HE was your soulmate

he probably isn't tho, he’s way too hot

“I can take who’s next!” the barista at the cashier yells.

“Oop, i guess that’s me.” mystery man says, before turning away.

After that you get your drink and sit down, and realize mystery mans is sitting across the room

Putting your headphones in, you decide to get to work and stop thinking about the boy

Humming along with the song playing, you type away at your assignment or whatever you’re working on

That's up to you, its your work not mine

Daniel, sitting there also happens to think the same thing as you

What if YOU were his soulmate? That would explain why you knew the melody to his song when it wasn't scheduled to come out for another like month

All of a sudden, a song cuts into his thoughts

He looks up at you, and sees that you are also listening to a song

And…

Happen to be humming along to the exact song he hears right now

Wow

Thats crazy

Totally didn’t see it coming

Right??? Sure

Immediately, he jumps up from his chair

I’m pretty sure it like fell and made a loud sound

But he’ll worry about that later

He BOLTS over to you

You, on the other hand, do not realize anything that’s going on because you have airpods in (or whatever headphone you use idk)

A song by your FAVORITE ALL TIME BAND who definitely is NOT why dont we…

Is blasting as you work away

So loud you don’t even realize daniel slide into the seat in front of you

When he gets there, he realizes it’s definitely you

Your music is so loud, he can hear it from where he’s sitting

He taps your laptop, and you pause your music, taking an earbud out

“WHy are you here? Can i help you?” you ask the stranger from before

“Hi, my name is daniel. Daniel seavey, to be exact. I think i’m your soulmate.”

That's it the end cliffhanger

And then kiss kiss fall in love 

Maybe 

chapter one | talia karim/daniel seavey

[ wednesday, april 17 ]

“There’s nothing on tv Eben.” Daniel groaned from where he sat on the nicely made hotel bed, throwing his hands, along with the remote, onto the sheets.

“Alright Daniel, I love you and all but you’ve been complaining that you have nothing to do for the past forty-five minutes. Go for a walk or something. Just don't get jumped.” Eben said, unplugging his phone and rolling over.

“Fine, I’ll go for a walk.” Daniel huffed and turned off the tv.

Eben looked over at him, watching him pull on a beanie, “Don’t get mugged, or run over.”

“Appreciate it,” Daniel saluted him before making sure his key card was in his pocket. Kicking over a random shoe he moved towards the door.

He walked to the elevator and through the lobby, nodding at one of the bellboys on his way out. Once he stepped into the streets of New York he took a deep breath, inhaling the heavy smell of rain and gasoline. The lights bouncing off the slightly wet sidewalk resembled the shimmer in his eye. Even though it was nearly eleven pm, the city was still loud, energetic and just as bright as it had been earlier in the day which fascinated him.

The cool city air filled Talia’s lungs, the familiar scent of burnt pretzels from the street vendors and sewage water filling her nose. In a way, it comforted her, along with the loud, angry shouts from the drivers enduring the stereotypical traffic that came with living in the city.

She walked a few blocks, shoulders hunched while music played from her AirPods helping relax her shoulders and clear her mind. She walked to nowhere for a while, taking random turns while her phone vibrated in her back pocket.

She knew it’d be her roommate and close friend, Aria, worried about her storming off after causing a small scene in their dorm room, her textbook and notepad landing on her desk with a hard smack. She let out a puff of air, her annoyance slowly building up again.

They had sat together, each at their own desk and decided to get some work done before bed. Talia had tried to work through her finance paper, but if she had to research credit management any longer she was sure she would’ve done more than slam her textbook shut and storm out, leaving behind a worried Aria.

Deciding to push finance to the back of her mind, she chose to head to her favorite place in all of New York, the Planetarium, the thought of being under thousands of stars exciting her. Picking up her pace, she quickly crossed the street only slowing down when she was a few blocks closer, the smell of burnt pretzels now replaced with gas exhaust, the sewage scent remaining as she walked further away from Washington Square.

Daniel stepped onto the asphalt of the road, his body becoming another in the swarm of people crossing the street. His gaze bounced around the buildings, the people, the billboards and the lights. He didn’t really have a destination, he was just wandering.

He noticed a planetarium a few blocks away when he reached the other end of the street. He considered taking a cab but decided on walking, the air was cool and relaxing. The music playing in his AirPods and the rush of the city around him gave him an energy he loved. The fast pace and feeling that everyone was living in a different world was something he couldn’t get enough of.

...

Talia’s phone had vibrated yet again, causing her to groan before pulling it out, her steps faltering. Her lock screen was filled with missed calls and messages from Aria asking where she was and if she was okay. She was about to send her a text letting her know she was safe when something collided into her back, causing her to stumble.

...

The song changed and Daniel’s focus remained in his head, not really paying attention to what was going on around him, only to bump into someone.

...

With an already sour mood, she frowned, ready to tell off whoever ran into her as she turned around. But she never opened her mouth, instead getting caught in the blue of the stranger’s eyes that seemed to glisten under the city lights.

His cheeks tinted red as he took in her furrowed eyebrows and small frown as she turned to face him.

“I'm sorry,” he told her, a slight smile on his face, his eyes apologetic.

The frown lifted off her face once she saw his smile, “It's fine, I shouldn’t have been standing in the middle of the sidewalk.” She told him as she tucked her phone in her pocket, Aria forgotten as she turned and continued walking, noticing that he was only a few feet away.

...

She’s pretty he thought.

That marked the end of their talk, and Daniel began walking again, his eyes shifting noticing that the girl was a few feet to his right, her dark hair flowing behind her as she hunched her shoulders against the light breeze

...

She walked another block and a half, close to the planetarium when someone spoke up from next to her, “Are you following me?” they asked, tone light. Confused, Talia looked up, noticing it was the guy from earlier.

“No, I’m heading to the Planetarium.” She said.

“I’m on my way there too.” He perked up, his happiness dimming when she nodded and looked away. Maybe it's a New Yorker thing, he thought as he looked at her, noticing how upset she seemed from the furrow in her dark eyebrows to the slight frown on her lips, “Do you want to walk together?” He asked in hopes of not being annoying. She looked up at him, blinking a few times before nodding, her small yet pretty smile coming back.

Thinking it was best to distract herself and not go back home grumpy, she said, “Sure.”

The two of them began walking towards the planetarium side by side, shoulders brushing against each other every so often due to the crowded sidewalk.

“Do you live in New York?” She asked him, breaking the silence. He looked around her age so she assumed he’d be in school, even though she had never seen him on campus.

Maybe he goes to Colombia.

“No, I’m just here with my b- friends this week.” She turned when he quickly changed his words, seeing his gaze on the concrete, his white-blond hair ruffling in the light spring breeze,

“How ‘bout you, do you live here?” looking back at him she chuckled at the glimmer in his eye.

“Yeah, I go to school here.”

He nodded. “What do you study? Does it have something to do with space?” He asked nodding towards the building they were approaching.

“No, just really into stars and stuff. I’m studying to become a brand manager, or something along that.” He seemed impressed.

“Wow, that sounds tough.”

“It's kicking my ass.” She let out a chuckle, Daniel joining.

“So how long have you been into ‘stars and stuff’?” He asked, putting emphasis on the last few words.

“I’ve kind of been into them for as long as I can remember to be honest.” She told him, casting her eyes to the sky for a second, “there’s just something about knowing there’s a whole different world outside of what we know.”

“I have a great friend for you,” he told her smiling in her direction as they approached the front doors.

“You do?” she smiled, thinking she’d never see him again after today. They were two people in a city of millions. This meeting was a simple coincidence.

suncity - C.B.

genre: angst, fluff at the beginning?

word count : 1675

pairing : female! reader x corbyn besson

tags : @jonahmaraisstuff @ho-ho-hemmings @sunflowermotel @flowersforseavey @blissfulblake @tigerreece @0totally-tubular0 @5sos-seavey @katie-avery @yo-its-prettymuch-woohoo @seaveyssparkle @lacefuly

description: don’t let the city break your heart. ( loosely based off of suncity by khalid )

The party was not exactly something Corbyn had been excited about. They had just wrapped up a set in Austin, and Zach had dragged the boys out to El Paso to meet up with his friends. Corbyn had been tired the entire grueling ride there and he was tired now, seated on a cool leather couch in somebody he didn’t know’s house. His legs were spread, and he leaned forward, balancing his elbows on his knees. Zach and Jack had disappeared when they had entered the house and were probably too gone by now to remember the name of their own band, Jonah was on facetime with his girlfriend, and Daniel was passed out on the couch next to Corbyn, too tired to care about the way too loud music. The lyrics were unintelligible, covered up by people laughing and yelling to each other. But the beat was strong, he could feel every pulse in his chest. Neon lights flashed around him, some cheap spotlights in the corners of the room. They bathed the room in purple, then orange, then red, then back to purple. Corbyn lifted his red solo cup to his lips and took a swig, wincing at the bitter taste. He was not in the right mood to be drinking. The lights flashed purple when he saw her.

Her dress was a tangerine orange, tight around her frame. It tied in the front, leaving a cutout just above her midriff. A strap hung lazily off her shoulder, bouncing as she jumped around, neon pink heels in hand. Her hair shook, messed up, previously immaculately done curls now messily jumping with her. Familiar guitar strokes pumped through the house as she turned, hair swinging around she and caught him watching her. She winked at him, trained strawberry-painted lips tipping into a smirk. Suddenly he was in the right mood to be drinking. He watched her as she walked over to him, heels swinging in one hand. She plopped next to him, but not before tucking a pillow under Daniel’s head. Corbyn’s brow furrowed at this, but he smiled. From what he knew, you didn’t even know Daniel. You reached down to rub at your aching feet before smiling at Corbyn, eyes twinkling in the poorly lit room.

“So, where you from, city-boy?”

Before he knew it, she was pulling him, grabbing his hand, up the stairs. They entered a room, and Corbyn stared at her for a second as she pushed a window open, leaving her heels inside the room before climbing over the window sill and out onto the roof below. Corbyn followed her. The roof was quiet, and they both sat, legs hanging over the edge. The moon-light washed over them, adding to the peace of the whole scene.

“So, when do you go back to LA?” She broke the quiet.

“Tomorrow we leave El Paso. But we won’t go back to LA for a while. Few months.”

She nodded, watching cars pass under the streetlight. Corbyn just watched her.

“How are you liking El Paso?” She looked at him, smiling a little.

He licked his lips.

“It’s, uh. It’s beautiful.” Corbyn hadn’t even seen much of El Paso. All he saw was her.

She laughed, nodding.

“Suncity is, it’s magical. It’s one of those cities. You either fall in love with it and embrace that, or just,” she laughed, “i don’t know, get your heartbroken.”

When Corbyn didn’t respond, she kept going.

“If you let it, it’ll show you beautiful things. Or it’ll forever be what could’ve been beautiful. It’s what you let it be.”

Corbyn nodded, encapsulated by her voice.

“I fell in love with it. It’s free. It’s fast. It’s,” she turned to him, giggling as she mocked him, “beautiful.”

Corbyn left happily that night, with a kiss on the cheek and a phone number to text which he gladly did the next day. And the day after. And for the rest of the week. And then the texts turned into snapchats, then 4 AM calls, and all of a sudden they were confessing their feelings a second behind the lag of a facetime call.

The first month was steady. They were dipping into the waters, deciding boundaries and becoming comfortable.

From there, everything built up. They really did like each other, both of them wanted to see where it was going. But 802 miles between them wasn’t exactly helping their cause.

Corbyn strummed on his guitar, humming a tune to himself.

“Corb?” she muttered.

He placed a hand over the strings, silencing the music. “Yeah?”

“Play me something?”

“Yeah, yeah. Okay,” he nodded, “Close your eyes, love.” He strummed slow, peaceful chords, quiet words tumbled out of his mouth.

She sighed contently. “I can’t do this, bear.”

The mumble-singing stopped as Corbyn frowned.

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t not be with you.”

He took a deep breath, thumping his hand on his guitar. “You could always come move in with us?”

“You’d let me?” She smiled softly. He did too.

“So, it’s good? Start packing, get here ASAP.”

“I’ll be there ASAP,” she giggled, “I love you, bye!” She waved enthusiastically and he smiled as she ended the call.

And she really was there ASAP. Only a couple weeks later, Corbyn was helping her unpack her things into the house, helping her pin her Heathers poster to the wall of his bedroom.

And they were happy. They really were. She stayed at his place with him. Well, with him in the sense that he lived there too. He wasn’t really home much. But they were happy.

She made a few friends. Tate. Gabbie. Both of them tried to accept her as one of their own but they weren’t the girls back home. They didn’t really know her.

She would often wander the house, cleaning to give herself something to do. Flipping through Corbyn’s photo albums and looking at family photos. She dripped a few tears as she remembered her younger brothers who she hadn’t seen in eternity. Okay, 3 months.

Basically eternity.

And she tried. She tried so hard. To be happy. For Corbyn, who was too blinded by her smile to see that it never reached her eyes. For her parents, who called everyday to make sure she was safe, but tended to forget to ask if she was okay. For Tate and Gabbie, who could never have even noticed that the bags under her eyes weren’t from “late night trysts” with her blond boyfriend, but sleeping with her back to him so he couldn’t see her cry instead.

But it didn’t work. She could feel it eating away at her bones. The unfamiliarity of the city, the homesickness she felt for El Paso, the need to walk into her favorite diner and see the sunset off that huge hill one last time. Or again and again and again until it was seared into her memory.

So, that night at dinner, she tried to sear him into her memory instead. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed. The way he leaned over the small table to whisper about the family at the table behind him. The way his hair fell after he ran a hand through it. The sparkle in his eyes when fans came up to him to take photos and the way he always gave them what they wanted.

She wished, so, so bad, that she could’ve given him what he wanted.

She tried to act like it was okay. She wiped away every tear that fell before Corbyn could even notice. She agreed that they should go bowling with the boys next week, even though she knew she wouldn’t be here to. She let him go on believing it was okay. Because she knew she couldn’t see the hurt in his face when he found out it wasn’t.

She laid next to him until he was asleep. And then she packed. She checked over the house one last time and her eyes stopped on the albums. The small one she had filled with her favorite pictures from all of his family albums. And she couldn’t leave it behind. She couldn’t leave every single piece of him behind so she buried it into her bag.

And she kissed him goodbye.

She stepped into the cold air outside his apartment, closing the door behind her softly. His favorite hoodie was still on her.

She took her bag to the staircase and she paused. She took out her phone and she sat down on the steps. She called his number and set the phone next to her.

She could hear his phone ringing, only 15 feet away, just behind that door. She wasn’t stupid. She knew he wasn’t going to wake up to get it. The phone went to voicemail.

“You’ve reached Corbyn. Drop your message at the beep!”

She sniffles.

“Hi, baby. I know. I know. And I’m sorry. God, I’m so sorry.” She sobbed into her hands. “I can’t take it, Corb. I thought i was ready to leave Suncity, to leave home, but I wasn’t. I really wasn’t. You have to understand, I couldn’t stay here. It was never you. Please, for a second, don’t ever blame yourself. It was never you. I let the city break me, Corbyn.” She gasped for air. “Do you remember the night we met? I told you you’ll either fall in love with that city, or you’ll let it break your heart. I’m so sorry, baby. I’m so sorry it broke your heart. I loved you. Don’t ever think I didn’t love you. I’m sorry i had to this, and I’m sorry I can’t go bowling with the boys next week. Tell them I love them, too.” She watched the Uber pull up in front of the building. “I’m going home, baby. I’ll be safe, I promise. Please, when you get this, promise you’ll be okay. I don’t even know if I will, but please, for me. Yeah. You’re gonna be okay. Okay. Bye, Corbyn.”

rough

description: he’s rough all over.

warnings: blood, some pretty gruesome shit, murderer!daniel, you’re not gonna like this, the boys aren’t in a band

tags: @trustfundparker @ijustreallylovethem @seavey-siren @bessonbear @coolkidcorbyn @katie-avery @keepseaveyweird @seaveyfeatures @tempus-ut-luceant

a/n: this is terrible quality gif whoops

“three more bodies have been found dead, scattered around la,” your eyes were glued on the tv with your phone pressed to your ear. daniel could hear the woman from the news and remained silent to listen in. “one of the bodies is 20-year old, jonah marias, who has been missing for three weeks.”

“jesus christ, daniel,” you whispered cupping a hand over your mouth.

you could hear daniel’s steady breathing over the phone. “i’m gonna be home soon,” he said. “lock the door. do not let anyone inside. i’m gonna tell corbyn that i need to leave.”

although daniel couldn’t see it, you nodded. “okay.” you whispered, instantly getting up and locking your front door. your apartment was empty and only the lights in the kitchen and living room illuminating your home.

“please come home soon.” you couldn’t almost hear daniel nod rapidly.

“as soon as possible.” he finished for you.

you didn’t realize it, but three hours passed by before you passed out on your couch. the tv was still playing. all you had been doing while you were alone in your apartment was watching the news to see what was happening.

the killings were happening all too frequently now. at first, they happened once every month and nobody knew the connects the dots. they happened in your city, which frightened you from the start, but daniel always protected you. 

your nightmare was about the murderer. no one knew what his identity was, but the way your unconscious brain imagined him was with a mask, of course. he’d managed to get you; daniel came home to your dead body, and that’s right when you woke up.

you were sweating profusely when you woke up. your heart was beating at a rapid pace, your palms were clammy, and something just didn’t feel right. the lights were still on in your apartment, which made things feel worse.

a scream almost made its way out of your throat when you heard a knock at your door. your eyes widened as you stayed frozen in your seat. your blanket was tangled in your legs as you held a pillow to your chest.

“(y/n), baby, it’s me.” the familiar voice spoke and you sighed. you could only imagine a tired daniel standing at the door, just waiting to collapse in your arms and fall asleep. he was angel and you were lucky to have him.

but you had to be sure. you grabbed your phone and texted him to see if it was actually him at the door. you looked through the peephole and noticed his bright blue eyes. you unlocked the door and wrapped your arms tightly around him.

he laughed. “someone’s excited to see me.” you could feel him smile into your shoulder before you let go and let him walk inside.

““i’ve just been so scared,” you admitted, rubbing the bare skin on your arms. daniel set his keys on the table and looked at you softly. 

“princess,” he cooes, replacing your hands with his and pulling you closer to him. “don’t be scared. i’m always gonna be here to protect you.” you only nodded in response and pressed your head to his chest.

»«

“i’m sorry, (y/n), i don’t know where daniel is,” corbyn genuinely apologized. “i’ve been at home all night.”

 you sighed, rubbing your eyes and trying to hold in a sob. “it’s been four hours. he’s been gone for four hours without letting me know anything, i’m worried. it’s not safe out there.”

“he’s gonna be fine,” corbyn tried to reassure you, but he wasn’t sure how. “i’m sure of it.”

you bit down on your lip and exhaled a large breath. “okay,” your voice was timid and small. you gulped silently and wondered where the hell your boyfriend was. “thank you, corbyn.”

after saying your goodbyes, you hung up the phone and turned the tv on. “another body has been found in palisades park. the only difference from the other found bodies is that this one is still alive. police say that these murders have no connection at all. ‘they kill whoever they come across’.”

you instantly turned the tv off, not having the time to watch the gruesome news. “he’s getting sloppy.” you thought to yourself.

looking down at your phone, you wondered if calling daniel one more time was a good idea. you never liked the idea of coming off as clingy, but you were extremely worried about your boyfriend.

the phone run twice before you heard daniel’s voice. “hey, baby,” he spoke as if nothing was wrong. 

“where the hell are you?” you slightly yelled, causing daniel to grow tense behind the phone. 

“baby, calm down,” he whispered, and you then heard the police sirens in the background.

“are those sirens?”

he sighed. “yeah,” he said, biting his lip. “i’m at the crime scene. i was walking to my car and i came across it and- oh god, (y/n), it’s terrible.” 

your eyes widened as you could only think about what happened there. you could only imagine what it looked like. “please come home, dani,” you said with a broken voice, and daniel noticed it. “please.”

you could almost hear him nod through the phone. “okay, baby,” he whispered. “i’m coming home.”

as daniel drove home in his brand new car, he mentally screamed at himself. “you’re gonna get caught,” he spoke to himself, tuning out the music that played. “you’re getting sloppy and you are going to get caught. that person is alive because of you.”

he could remember what it was like to watch the color and life drain out of the person’s eyes. the news had gotten it wrong; daniel did kill with strategy. he killed all the people that were no good for life. his first victim was a pedophile and a rapist. he saw it as doing the world a favor.

his most recent victim, the man who was still alive, was a man who’d grabbed you in a bar. daniel couldn’t bare to think about the night. he’d found the man and almost, just almost gotten his revenge. but now that the man was alive, there was a possibility that he had seen daniel’s face.

daniel pulled over to the side of the road and into an abandoned parking lot. he hit his head against the steering wheel, grinded his teeth. and punched the leather in his seat, until his fists bled. he had no idea how he was going to explain that to you, but he knew he could come up with a good lie.

once he reached your apartment complex, he was hesitant to walk inside your shared home. what if the news already got out? what if you knew?

realizing he left the key to your home on the table, he knew he needed to knock. but it made him only more nervous. what if you didn’t answer?

but before he could knock, the front door pulled open and you wrapped your arms around him. “jesus christ, daniel,” you whispered, feeling him immediately hug you back. “i was so worried.”

daniel rubbed your hair. “i’m sorry, love,” he whispered, kissing the top of your head. “i’m here now.”

you nodded and noticed the blood starting to dry up on the skin of knuckles. “what the hell?” you muttered to yourself. you held his fists in your hand but he pulled them back to his chest.

“went boxing,” he said shortly. “forgot to bring gloves so i only had the tape from there. wasn’t really good tape.”

you smiled warmly and kissed around the bloody areas. “well, go get cleaned up. i’m not your mama, i can’t fix wounds.” daniel laughed and nodded, kissing your forehead once again as he pressed your head to his chest.

»«

with a cup of wine in your hand, you tiredly lied on the couch, cuddled with one of daniel’s pillows. he said he was going to be out tonight with corbyn and jack. just in case, you called corbyn to see if daniel was with them, and much to your satisfaction, he was. it wasn’t that you didn’t trust daniel; you just didn’t know anymore.

daniel had texted you to tell he’d be coming home soon. recently, he’d been coming home around 11:00, but it was only 9:00; you couldn’t complain.

the way he’d texted you was odd - he’d misspelled almost every word - but you figured he was just a little drunk. daniel was always a fun and cuddly drunk so you knew it was going to be a good night.

on the other hand, daniel ran as fast as he could. he sprinted down alleyways, jumped over trash cans and cars, and raced to get back home to you. he was completely stupid if he thought he could get away with killing someone in a club. everyone there was drunk and/or high, so he thought that no one would notice a dead body floating around in the crowd. he was right, they didn’t. 

but the police did. he didn’t see a sign of them as he was running, but he could never be too sure. he still had his blade on him just in case. he had blood all over his shirt, and of course, he’d chosen a white one. 

there was blood on the cut in his lip from when the guy fought back and punched him. he was sure that a bruise was already forming. he had no idea how he was going to explain it to you.

once he’d gotten to your door, he felt a pain in his rib cage. his victim was rough; he fought back, unlike all the others. he leaned against the door and banged on the wooden barrier. he didn’t realize it, but once you’d opened the door, he fell to the floor of your apartment. 

“daniel!” you yelled, holding him by the sides and pulling him over to the bathroom. the first thing you noticed was the blood. none of his injuries were terrible, just cuts and bruises that needed tending to. 

“hey, baby,” he said with a smirk as you patched up his wounds. “can’t fix wounds my ass.”

you laughed at his statement but then remembered that it was no time to be laughing. “stop, this isn’t funny,” you said, sitting him down on the edge of your bed. “what the fuck happened?”

daniel gulped, his brain coming up with a quick lie. “h-he got me,” was all he could mutter out. “i was leaving and- he got me.”

your eyes widened as your mouth parted open. you felt your heartbeat increase and the words in your throat trip over themselves. all you could think of the to say was, “i told you to be careful.”

he chuckled breathlessly and clutched his stomach. your eyes grew teary. “i’m okay, babe,” he whispered. “i’m okay. i’m not dead.”

you didn’t want to laugh but you let a small smile shine. “well,” you cleared your throat. “i’m very glad for that.”

daniel smiled and placed his hand on your cheek, cupping the skin and gently rubbing it with his fingers. you wrapped your arms around him to engulf him in a much-needed hug. he hugged back, which caused his position to change.

you felt a hard and sharp object sticking out from daniel’s jeans. your eyebrows furrowed and you moved away from daniel, causing him to be confused. “what’s wrong, beautiful?” he played with your hair. you gently pushed his hand away, breaking his heart. you looked down and patted the sharp area.

daniel’s eyes widened and you looked back up into them. he gulped, and the two of you remained frozen. “w-what?” you breathed out. you reached into his pocket and pulled whatever the object was.

a blade.

the same exact blade you had seen on the news. 

you stopped breathing. you looked down at the blood-covered weapon. your lips were dry and you stuck your tongue out to rid yourself of the feeling. “daniel...” you started.

“(y/n), please,” he said calmly, sitting back up.

“what is this?” you whispered, holding the blade up to him. he stared at it the same he would stare at you; it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen. it disgusted you as you gagged. 

he remained silent. you dropped to your knees. “oh god, daniel,” you whispered. “i-it’s you. you’re...him.”

silence. 

“you've been murdering people, y-you’re the man i’ve been scared of these past months.” it broke his heart to hear and see you. 

you shook your head and wiped away the tears. daniel, of all people, was the killer. he was the sweetest, most caring, most beautiful, and talented man you’d ever met. this wasn’t him - there must’ve been a reason behind it.

“why?” you breathed out.

daniel didn’t respond so you screamed it. “why!” 

he shivered. “i was doing the world a favor.”

you dropped the blade and sobbed, not caring if you let him see you cry. the man you’d spent two years loving - you gave him everything you had, but this was who he was. 

“i-i can’t,” you said, getting up, tripping over your own steps. you leaned against the doorway. “you can’t get away with this, daniel. innocent people.”

“they weren’t innocent,” he spoke to you. “they were bad people, rapists, murderers, i was ridding the world of them.”

this time, you stood up strong. you gulped and looked daniel in the eyes. “you’re no different.” you watched the color change and it scared you. they went from a beautiful blue to a raging ocean to a soft and gentle sky. 

“please, (y/n),” he begged, walking closer to you. you flinched away from him, scared of what he could do. “please stay. i’ll stop killing people, i’ll stop it all, please just stay.”

you shook your head. “i can’t stay with you,” you muttered. “you are- no.”

daniel let out a yell when you opened the door. and it happened fast. his arms were around you as he turned you around to face him. then, there was a sharp feeling in your abdomen. you looked down to see a red stain on you shirt and you felt your skin ripping apart from the inside.

you struggled to breath as you lost all strength. you fell into daniel’s arms which only pushed the knife deeper. you let out small whimpers, looking up into his eyes.

they were wide and full of regret. “no, no, no,” he whispered to himself. he winced as he slid the weapon out of you, watch your face contrort in pain. “what have i done? i’m sorry, (y/n), i’m so sorry. i love you so much, beautiful.”

you bit down on your lip as you reached to your wound. you instantly felt the hot liquid seeping from your body. “daniel.” you breathed rapidly, growing anxious, but what for? you knew the outcome of the situation. his eyes grew teary.

“i’m sorry, baby,” he whined, kissing your forehead and wrapping his arms around you. your body went limp, your hand no longer held his, and when he looked down at your face, all he was met with were those lifeless eyes.

the last thing you felt were his hands touching your skin, his tears soaking into his shirt, and small puffs of breath as he sobbed.

“i love you so much.” and with that, he pulled you closer and pressed your head to his chest.

see what i did there

stranded || d.s.

summary: y/n and daniel are best friends that get stranded inside daniel's pickup truck which just so happens to be in the middle of the highway.  word count: 1,331 warning: angst tags: @danieljames1998 @satanicseavey @kvd963 @dani-saurs @lovableherron @majesticmarais @ijustreallylovethem @tempus-ut-luceant @cloudsncoffee a/n: i’m 50/50 on this one ‘cause i haven’t been writing for months...well, maybe just look at this imagine as my comeback imagine after cherry pie <3 the usual los angeles traffic, well, it's not usual. it was raining so hard that the cars won't budge and it feels like the whole world is moving in slow motion. you glance at your watch, only to realize that it was almost six in the evening and you still haven't went home. although you could blame daniel for going home more late than expected, the traffic was unbearable. all you heard was horns honking and the sight of the flashing headlights blinded you. your earphones were plugged on, the sound of "everytime" by ariana grande filling your ears. you badly needed sleep.  plopping on my bed looks really good, those words would pass through your head every ten minutes. "being the driver is so boring," daniel whined, tossing an annoyed look at you. you raised your eyebrows and pulled out the headset jack from your phone. "what? sorry, you have a really deaf best friend." he just rolled his eyes and gripped the steering wheel tighter. he wasn't happy at all, you could literally see it etched all over his face. you bit your bottom lip, unamused at daniel's attitude. "i'm sorry, i guess you were too busy." you huffed, facing the buildings instead. "no, it's fine. i just need something to make me wake up." he stretched his arms, one thing that he does that makes you look away. just seeing his arm veins, that was a different story. the truth is, no matter how much daniel's actions annoy you, you just can't tell him that you like him. you talked about it with your friends, especially corbyn.  corbyn was the closest to daniel among the five boys and he would always ask daniel about his preferences towards girls, in which he would just laugh about it and roll his eyes everytime corbyn brings it up. but when the boys talk about daniel, you could tell your eyes were lighting up. he was just so pure, he wasn't innocent nor tame, he was... he was just right. the right mix of everything. yet he didn't know how much he meant to you. what he only knows that you were, and will always be the bestest friend he could ask for. honestly, you would be so okay with that. but sometimes, his attitude pushes your buttons, and it gets you so fed up that you set your feelings aside and just straight up argue with him. and today is one of those days where "sometimes" applies to the situation. "if that's what you want then, i'm sorry but i can't give it to you right now."  you frowned, scoffing. daniel seemed to notice so he gazed at your unhappy state. "is everything okay?" he asked, his back relaxing against the leather seat. "yeah, maybe not." you admitted, closing your eyes shut. "am i the reason why?" you promised yourself you'd stay mad, but with his voice echoing in your head, every single nerve was telling you to smile and shake it off. "kind of, well, uh..." you trailed off, unsure of where to start. "hey," he assured you, his fingers slowly grazing your palm which was firmly rested on your seat. "you don't have to talk about it if you don't feel like it. i don't want you to feel uncomfortable when you're with me." he laces his fingers with yours, gently clasping the both of your hands together. you wished he could hold your hand like that forever, yet the traffic couldn't go on forever. it had to stop somehow. "but with all honesty, daniel, i really wanna talk about this...situation i'm having." you look at him as he squeezes your hand in reassurance. "these past few days, i wanted to cry but i can't. i just can't accept the fact that you're best friends with me. why you chose me. why you chose to stick with me even if i'm annoying." you started as you felt the car moving slowly, realizing the traffic was already loosening up. "even if i do many lame stuff, even if i became the reason why you get too much problems, even if i'm the reason why the world is against you...why would you do that?" he blinks, not being able to comprehend everything you're saying. he didn't know that for the past days, you have been doubting about being called daniel seavey's best friend.  it broke him to see you doubt yourself. it broke him to see that your friendship was the reason why she's been distant to you. "why would you choose to stay with me? i'm not worth your time, your attention, people hate me because of it. i just don't want this problem to grow and for your own fans to hate you because of me." you sighed, removing your hand which was formerly clasped onto his. burying your head into your hands, you lay back on the seat. daniel wasn't speaking. he was...just there. "please say something." you whispered, a few tears hitting your hands. "y/n, are you saying you want our friendship to end?" he asks softly. even without looking, you know he had that worried face on. you hated that face with a burning passion, mainly because daniel uses that face to bring your smile back. "if you wanna think it is, then go. i honestly don't really wanna see what happens after this stupid conversation daniel." he gapes at you, too shocked of the words leaving your mouth. "y/n, listen to me." he tells you but you don't budge. "i don't give a damn about what they say about us. what do they know? they're not us. they don't control you, y/n. i do everything for my happiness but i treasure our moments together more." he says, putting the vehicle in hazard. "they need you more, daniel." you say, removing the tears off your cheeks. he looks at you, his eyes longingly searching for the light he always wanted. "but i need you the most, y/n." he cups your face with his right hand, brushing off a tear with his thunb. "you're only doing this to make me happy." you explain, not believing the words he just said earlier. "i need you because you're the only one, out there, who could save me. you're the only one who can actually make me smile in a stressful day. so y/n, maybe you think your existence is a nuisance but for me," daniel takes off his seatbelt as he puts both of his hands on your cheeks. you feel his eyes piercing your entire soul, but you ignore it.  "you're all i ever wanted and needed." he reaches out to you as he presses his lips softly to yours. you stay stiff.  your mind goes blank. you don't know what is happening and therefore you conclude that you might be dreaming. yet daniel's arms find their way around your back, as he clings onto you, you feel yourself drifting back to your reality. yes, y/n, you are kissing your best friend. you kiss him back firmly, your fingers grazing his blonde hair. the thoughts of you lying in your bed were gone. all you thought of was him, and this exact moment right now. he pulls away, your foreheads leaning against each other. he lets out these little breaths while a wide smile breaks upon his lips. "are you okay now?" he asked. "i can't say," you said, feeling his happy aura tone down a bit. "you make me speechless." he laughs, a laugh that you treated as if it was a pleasant melody. he closes his eyes, savoring the blissful time as he feels your breathing go back to a calm state. you close your eyes too, too emotional to comprehend what was happening in front of your eyes. he pulls you again for another kiss, but this time, you tell yourself you aren't dreaming. that this... this is real.

In My Arms - Zach Herron

Zach Herron x fem!reader (she/her pronouns) oneshot

Summary: Your safe spot has always been in your husband's arms. What happens when just 15 words causes it to crumble down (angst)

Warnings: ANGST (and me not being good at writing it lol) This is way in the future!

AN: I really wanted to try out writing some angst. If you have any feedback please let me know. If you want: like, comment reblog or come talk to me. Anything is appreciated. I hope you enjoy!

Update: There is now a part 2!!! I couldn’t keep it angsty but if you want it to end this way that’s okay!! Check it out if you want.

————————————————————

Y/N’s POV

“Come on kids. We have to go to the grocery store!” I yell up the stairs to my kids. Normally, I wouldn’t take them with me, but no one was able to watch them today. Also, Zach was out of the state so I had no other option.

“Mommy! Noah won’t give me back my unicorn.” My two year old daughter complained about her older brother.

Sighing, I walk up the stairs and go to her room.

“Noah, you know that’s not nice. Give it back to Grace please. If you don’t, I’m going to have to call dad.” I threaten.

“So if I don’t give it back, does that mean we finally get to talk to him? Mommy we haven’t talked to him in five days. I have been counting.” Noah retorts.

“No Noah. You give your sister back her unicorn and go down to the car.” I try to say without my eyes tearing up.

The truth of that statement makes my stomach turn. It’s even worse that a three year old child was able to figure that out. Zach has been away at a writing session out of state with the rest of the boys. After winning multiple Grammys, the band has been working so hard to produce more amazing music for their fans. During all of that, the calls home started decreasing. A couple of days ago they just stopped. I try to be strong for my kids, but it becomes difficult when you don’t even know what’s going on with your husband. He’s supposed to come home in four weeks, so I guess we will wait and see.

With my two younger kids already in the car, I go and check on the two oldest.

*after going to the grocery store*

When we got home, to say I was exhausted was an understatement. Having four children, ranging from two to seven, with the love of my life is finally taking a toll on me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love my kids with every fiber in me. It doesn’t help that their dad has been MIA. Deciding to try and call him while the kids were napping, I picked up my phone.

“Hey babe.” I say once Zach picks up.

“Hey love. How’s everything over there?”

“It’s alright. We all miss you”

“Aww, I miss you guys too. I was just going to call and let you know that-“

“Zach are you ready?” A woman’s voice cuts him off.

“Shhh, my wife’s on the phone. I don’t want her to hear you.” He quickly whispers.

Shock. That’s the word that describes my reaction perfectly. I haven’t talked to my husband in five days, and when I get a chance, I hear a woman’s voice. I trust Zach with my life, so I don’t understand why all the sudden I feel like this. Also, why does he not want me to hear? If it’s nothing wrong, why does he feel a need to hide it?

Next, a feeling of sadness courses through me. Has he been cheating on me? No Y/N why the hell would you think that. You have four kids together, he wouldn’t throw that all away. Wait, but how can I be so sure. I haven’t seen him in weeks. What if all of a sudden he just gave up and realised that he didn’t love me anymore. What if…

I get pulled from those horrible thoughts when I hear his voice. “Sorry love. I have to go. Say hi to the kids for me.” He rushes out before hanging up.

And just like that he’s gone again. How long will it be this time before we can talk again? He’s gone, probably having the time of his life, while I’m over her with my intrusive thoughts. I failed to even notice that I started crying until a tear fell onto my hand. I don’t try to hold back my sobs anymore. I can hear them echo all around me. I shouldn’t be feeling like this. He’s my husband for goodness sake. While basking in my misery, I failed to notice two kids on the stairs.

*skip three weeks*

One week. Seven days. That’s how long until Zach finally comes home. These days felt like they were dragging on and on. Throughout the past three weeks, he would call to talk to the kids. He would spend hours listening to them talk about their day or what they ate. Those moments helped numb the pain. When it came to me though, he kept the conversations brief. That didn’t help at all with my speculation of him cheating. The only reassuring thing was that I haven’t heard the woman’s voice in a while.

Ever since that day, I just couldn’t keep my mind from wandering. I had these thoughts about Zach not loving me anymore despite being together for seven years. These thoughts mostly occurred when I woke up in the middle of the night, reaching over to snuggle my husband, and just being met with the cold sheets. It was a stab in the heart, every single time. I felt like that was the way the universe was trying to tell me where our relationship stood. Most nights, I let the darkness and the cold take over. Feeling completely vulnerable and exposed to this part of love I’ve never experienced. I knew what I was getting into when I decided to first date Zach. I was prepared for the hate, criticism, and jealousy. I was strong. All he had to do was wrap me in his arms, and mumble “It’s alright. You’re alright. All that matters is that you’re here, in my arms. You will always be safe in my arms Y/N. Never forget that. I will always be there for you and never hurt you. My arms will always be open. I promise.” I didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion. The only thing that mattered was the love me and Zach had. No matter what, we had each other. Even when it felt like the world was turning its back on us. And that’s exactly what I said in my vows when we got married three years ago. But now, all of that is crumbling down piece by piece.

After a stressful day of getting the kids to and from school, working for eight hours straight, and cooking dinner, we are all sitting at the dinner table. That is everyone except for Zach. Throughout the whole dinner, I was lucky they didn’t mention their dad. I was on edge since his return was getting closer and closer. I was nervous for what would happen to us when we finally see each other in person. Better yet, what would happen to our family. I just couldn’t picture a happy ending. I especially didn’t want to pick a fight with him when he just got back. Wanting to clear my mind and maybe try to call Zach again without the kids around, I tell them to finish as much as they can before getting ready for bed. Right when I thought they were all gone I heard my oldest, Riley, speak up.

“Mommy how many days until daddy comes home again. I really want to show him the new soccer moves I learned.” He questions.

Going to answer, I open my mouth to respond but get cut off by another voice.

“Ri, there’s seven more days. Maybe if we get to sleep early he’ll come home faster.” Sophia responds from upstairs to her older brother.

“Thanks Soph. Mommy can Gracie and Noah sleep with me and Soph tonight? Pleaseeeee.” He practically whines.

Not being able to say no to the adorable face he makes. I give in and say yes. I mean who can say no? Now that they were all upstairs, I picked up my phone that was on the counter. Right when I was about to tap on the call button, an incoming call pops up on my screen. It’s none other than the man himself, Zach Herron. That’s odd. The only time he calls is early in the morning because of the time difference. Shaking that thought off, I answer the phone.

I immediately get my answer when I pick up. He’s fucking drunk at a club. The first clue is the loud club music that can be heard in the back. The next clue is the way he’s talking. It’s slurred and barely makes any sense. He can’t even form a complete sentence. The reason as to why he’s drinking is still unknown.

“Zach… is everything alright?” I carefully say, not knowing how he’s going to react.

“Huh, oh yeah everything is good. I just wa- wanted to ca- call and say that you’re, you’re the hottest…” He trails off before starting a new sentence.

“We finished our wri- writing se- session early. So, we de- decided to party.” Well that answers why he’s drinking.

Before I get to respond, he slurs “Are you taking good care of my kids? Last time I checked in, Grace hurt her finger. You should really be paying more attention to them.”

The anger quickly surges through me. I’m over here working my ass off with a full time job and “his” kids while he’s out partying and getting drunk. He has the audacity to criticize my parenting when we both know I’ve done most of the work. I was trying my hardest to stay calm, but it was hard hearing my husband’s words. Getting ready to open my mouth and snap at him, the cause of my sleepless nights returns. Just when I thought nothing could get worse, it happens...

I hear the woman’s voice again.

“We have to figure out whatever it is you want before you go back home.” I clearly hear her voice come from Zach’s side of the phone. And just like that, I feel my heart stop. All it took was fifteen words. Now, I know that his promises were never true. He hurt me. He wasn’t here. And I wasn’t safe in his arms.

————————————————————

Here’s the part 2 again if you want to read it

AN: That's it! I hope you enjoyed reading.

- Kara (upindreamland)

I have two blurb requests and they’re both turning out way longer than I thought so sorry if it’s taking a while to post them it’s literally because they have me inspiration so now I’m writing a whole ass one shot for each of them

Hi! I hope you are well : ) So, I was trying to think of an idea and then I saw the title on your blog - loving can hurt sometimes- and that kind of gave me an idea...Maybe one of the wdw boys is in a relationship with the reader, y/n, and they hit a rough patch and things are kind of hanging on a thread. Neither of them know whether it's going to work out. Hope this inspires you! I'll send some more if I can think of something.

Grey | J.M.

a/n: @randomlimelightxxx thanks so much for sending in an ask <33333 and I’m sorry for replying to it this late :( i love love love your idea!!! but i hope u don’t mind if i make it a little sadder (◐‿◑) whoops. 

(ps: this turned out worse than i hoped but i do hope you like it)

summary: a happy ending isn’t always guaranteed, even when you love someone with every fibre of your being, because life isn’t a fairytale.

warnings: angst

word count: 2517

“i can’t believe i let you go.”

Jonah doesn’t know for sure how long he has been staring at the framed photograph that has been hanging on the living room wall for as long as he can remember. It was taken during one of the few 4th of July celebrations that you both had celebrated together. In the picture, your smile was brighter than ever, even brighter than the fireworks that were bursting through the dark night behind you, fiery blooms amongst the stars. He had an arm around your shoulders, his green orbs looking at you lovingly as you took the selfie.

Both of you seemed so happy back then—something you both hadn’t felt in a long time, even before your dramatic fallout. You were going strong, weren’t you? Both of you used to be the poster children of the perfect couple — you had each other backs and lifted each other up when the going got tough, which led you to believe that nothing could ever come between the two of you.

But life did. When his career started to blow up, your relationship with him did too.

Every time he closes his eyes; the vivid memory of the horrible night months ago starts to play before him like a movie.

#

“Jonah Marais Roth Frantzich, have you been drinking again?” You tore your eyes away from the TV and directed it towards him instead when you heard the sound of the door opening then closing, followed by the rattling of keys as he threw it into the small box beside the door. The stench of alcohol filled your apartment almost immediately, indicating that he had a heavy intake of whatever alcoholic drink he consumed at the party.

He didn’t answer, or even bat an eye at you as he made his way into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Your lips pressed into a thin line as your blood boiled upon being ignored by him. You glanced at the clock. It was nearly 3am. This was the latest he had ever been home after attending a party, which was something he had been doing almost every day lately.

You hated his new habit of getting absolutely wrecked after every party, and he knew that too. He also knew that you hated him getting too friendly with the alluring LA models that were up to no good, as much as you hated him spending most of his time on his job, resulting with him neglecting you far too often for your liking, until you guys were basically nothing more than strangers living under the same roof.

He knew many things, but he never cared, because those were the requirements of his job — to constantly socialize and make music — so he thought that you’ll understand but from the look of the annoyed scowl on your face, that didn’t seem to be the case tonight.

“Jonah, answer me,” you ordered sternly from where you sat on the couch in the living room.

He didn’t know whether if it’s the fault of the alcohol that was coursing through his veins or the fact that both of you hadn’t really talked in days (maybe months) had started to drive him over the edge, but he found your displeasure oddly infuriating, although he knew you were merely looking out for him.

You are his girlfriend, not his fucking mother. 

“Yes, not that it’s any of your business,” he seethed and you seemed taken aback by his reply. At least that’ll shut you up for now.

He placed the cup into the sink with a greater force than he intended before leaving the kitchen to head towards the master bedroom, trying his best to ignore your accusing glare that was still boring into his back and hold back the rest of the harsh words that was threatening to spill out of his mouth.

He knew he was drunk and he didn’t want to say anything that he would regret later in the morning so staying silent was currently the best option. Everything would return to normal the next day once you forgot about this, like you always had for the past few weeks. The tension would be gone and you both would return to playing the role of a lovey-dovey couple that, unbeknownst to others, barely talked in what felt like forever.

But you had other plans. You weren’t letting this matter go this easily. This had been going on for too long. You had enough of his immature behaviour that was gradually driving a wedge between the two of you. You wanted -- no, needed -- this to stop right now, for his own good and yours.

You wanted the old Jonah back -- the Jonah who’d walk to the ends of the world for you, who’d join you in bed at night to ask about your day and who’d put you as his first priority. You walked briskly towards him and captured his wrist in your hand.

“I’m your girlfriend, Jonah, and I have the right to hold you accountable for your dumb actions,” you purposely emphasized on the three words that you knew would get on his nerves. You wanted him to talk, to explain why he was suddenly so obsessed with getting drunk. Was he stressed? Was something bothering him? 

Once again, you received no answer from him.

“Drinking is bad for your health, Jonah,” you softened your tone, just by a little. “And you barely get enough sleep recently, it’s--”

“Just shut up for once, can you?” He jerked your hand away. “Always ‘Jonah don’t do this’, ‘Jonah don’t do that’ like I am some kind of dumb baby that needs help. Just so you know, I’m a grown man who is perfectly capable of making my own decisions, mind you.”

This was the first time Jonah had ever raised his voice at you. You tried not to let his words get to you, you tried to convince yourself that it was the alcohol talking for him but tears ended up welling up in your eyes anyways. You held them back as you continued to speak. 

“I was just trying to advise—”

“I said shut the fuck up! Even if I do need help, I won’t be asking it from the likes of you!” Before you could react, the glass vase that was once placed beside the TV went flying against the wall behind you, shattering into a million pieces.

“What the hell is wrong with you, Jonah?” You cried out, your hands fisting the front material of his shirt. “What the heck was that for?”

“Get off me, you psycho!” he pried your hands off him and pushed you away forcefully, making you stumble backwards and fall to the ground due to your loss of footing.

Tears were streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably now. “You’ve changed. The old Jonah will never do this to me,” you stood up, wiping off your tears with the back of your hand.

“Maybe it’s because you don’t know me well enough.”

“You know what?” You were jabbing your finger on his chest. “If this is the real you, maybe I shouldn’t have dated you in the first place,” you shouted at him.

“Fine, don’t date me then! Maybe I finally can live a lot more freely without your constant nagging!”

Your breathing stopped for a moment and you swore his did too. Silence ensued, the only sound being the tv that you forgot to turn off before the fight.

Shit. He said too much.

When you finally came back to your senses, you pushed pass him to make your way into the bedroom, pulling out your luggage and set it open on the bed.

“You should’ve told me earlier that you didn’t want me in your life,” you said breathlessly as you proceeded to dump all your clothes into your luggage before slamming it shut, ignoring his pleas for you to stop.

“No, baby, I don’t mean what I said,” he grabbed your arm and you flinched at his touch. That was how he knew he messed up. Badly. “Let’s just forget—”

“I’m so done with always sweeping our problems under the carpet and pretend like they don’t exist, Jonah!” You yelled frustratedly. “Let me ask you, when was the last time we had a heart-to-heart talk, Jonah? When was the last time we had a peaceful meal together without arguing? When was the last time we actually spent quality time together?”

He couldn’t answer any of your questions.

“Can’t you see it? We haven’t been a couple for quite a while now,” you explained, pulling your closed luggage out of the room towards the front door, not forgetting to pick up your purse along the way. “What happened just now was just one more sign that we,” you gestured between the both of you, “are not meant for each other so maybe it’s for the best if we break up.”

“No, please, no,” he fell to his knees before you, his hands moving to grasp your arm. “Don’t go. I’m sorry. Please.”

“I’m not wasting any second more of my life with you,” you spat mercilessly in his face. “Now let go.”

“No, please, stay with me, baby,” he continued to beg, the grip on your hand unfaltering.

“I’m sorry,” you said and felt his grip loosen at the two simple words. He knew there was no point in holding on once you already made up your mind. “Goodbye, Jonah.”

You yanked your arm away and walked out the door, not looking back, leaving a distressed male behind, in tears.

Yes, Jonah remembers everything from that night, especially the slam of the door behind you as you walked out of his apartment and his life, forever.

And he is the one to blame.

#

Fast forward to the present, he misses you so much that he is starting to lose his mind.

He thinks about you so often that sometimes he forgets that you aren’t his anymore. He still finds himself reaching out to what used to be your side of the bed the first thing in the morning, only to find it cold and empty; he still looks forward to coming home from work every day to run into your arms that used to be his safe haven, only to be reminded by his quiet house that your laughter, your kisses, your touches are luxuries that he can no longer afford, no matter how wealthy he is.

You gave him a chance—scratch that, you have kind-heartedly given him countless chances in the past for him to make up for his mistakes, to prove to you that loving him was worth all the suffering, but all he did was disappoint you over and over again by choosing to walk away from you when his career was at stake.

It wasn’t until you were gone that he noticed all those valuable chances that have unknowingly passed him by.

He runs a hand through his hair and heaves a sigh, throwing his head back so that he is mindlessly staring at the ceiling.

He was cowardly fool, for putting his needs above the person who he swore to love till the end of time, for giving up when he should’ve fought a little harder to preserve what’s left of their love, for doing nothing as the distance between them grew by leaps and bounds until you eventually slipped out of his grasp into nothingness.

Most importantly, he was the world’s biggest idiot to ever think that he can live without you.

He knows that he should stop missing you; he knows that he should forget the past, or at least lock all the fond memories he had built with you into a box and shove it into the darkest, deepest corners of his mind, not to be opened ever again; he knows that he should move on, like you already did.

But “I know” and “I can” are two completely different things. Yes, he is terribly exhausted from holding onto the past, holding onto you, even as he feels the remaining shred of hope that you might one day return to him slowly diminish as days passed but at the same time, he is still too in love to let you go.

Therefore, for what seems like the thousandth time that month, he pulls out his phone from his pocket, and dials your number that is still marked as favourites in his contact list. As expected, the call goes to voicemail right away, after your recorded voice says, “Sorry, I can’t come to the phone at the moment but feel free to leave a message instead!” in a cheerful tone, as if you are mocking him for not being able to talk with you like he used to anymore.

After the beep, Jonah hesitates a moment before opening his mouth to speak, but no words escape. He has no idea where to start. He knows a simple ‘sorry’ isn’t going to fix everything, for the pain you had endured because of him is definitely not worth to be forgiven with a simple two-syllable-word. He contemplates if he should end the call, like what he has done for the past thousand times.

No, he has spent too much time dwelling in his misery without making any effort to win you back It’s about time he at least tries to start a proper conversation with you because even if you don’t reciprocate his feelings, you still deserve an apology from him.

“Hi,” he breathed nervously. “How are you? I know I should not be trying to contact you after what I did to you that night but,”

A pause.

“It’s not the same here without you, y/n. I miss your cooking, your terrible singing voice, your hilarious pep talks – hell, I even miss your long boring lectures whenever I forgot to wash the dishes,” he smiles a little at the memory.

“And I’m sorry, I really am, for ruining everything. I know it’s not enough but it’s true. Not a day passes where I don’t regret what I did to you that night and all the mistakes that I’ve made before that.”

“Please baby, give me one more chance to make it right. Just one more, please. Come back, be here with me because,” another pause.

He searches his brain for the right words to say, rubbing his temples with his fingers as his mind whirs.

Because of you, his life used to be filled with endless love and laughter. Your love was like the warm daylight, illuminating his world in golden, chasing away all the darkness. You painted his life with the vibrant colors of the rainbow whereas now that you’re gone, everyday it rains, the previous sunshine you provided long gone. He should’ve never let you go. With a swipe of his tongue over his trembling dry lips, he finishes his sentence before he decides to chicken out.

“Because I still love you. Without you, now everything’s grey.”

Consequences (J.M)

Jonah hasn’t been around, and you realize that your love has consequences. Based off ‘Consequences’ by Camila Cabello

Words: 1,010

Warning(s): Mad angst, alcoholism, some violence, swearing.

A/N: I feel like I always write Jonah off as a bad boyfriend, but I really don’t mean to! I just can’t picture any of the other boys in this imagine.

It was nearly 3 in the morning. You didn’t know why you bothered staying up, as you knew Jonah wouldn’t return until the sun had risen. After all, that’s how it had been going for the past three months of your relationship. He would come home smelling of alcohol and cheap perfume, always yelling at you for no reason before blacking out on the kitchen floor. But no matter how bad it got for you, you stayed. You stayed because he always came back to you, no matter how drunk or sick he was. He always returned.

You sat on the couch, staring at the black TV screen. Your eyes were red and puffy, tears still streaming down your cheeks. Old tissues were scattered around you, the now empty box tossed aside. Your stomach gurgled, begging you to eat anything. But you simply ignored it, continuing to just sit there. You harshly wiped the tears from your cheeks before forcing yourself to stand up, collecting all the garbage that surrounded you. Jonah hates when the apartment is messy. You carefully tidied your home, making sure that every surface was spotless. 

You grabbed your phone and slipped it in your pocket before grabbing your duffel bag and gathering as many of your things as you could remember. You robotically folded your clothes and placed them in the bag, then packed your makeup bag and your favorite shampoo. You forced yourself to pick your favorite three photos from the house and carefully set them with your things before zipping the bag. 

You picked up the bag before looking around the house. You ran your fingers over Jonah’s guitar, which had been gathering dust. All the memories came rushing back as you did so, causing a new wave of tears to roll over your skin. 

“It was absolutely beautiful, baby,” you giggled as Jonah finished playing a song he had written. You pulled him into the bed with you, carefully kissing his lips. He would be going on tour soon, and it was your last few nights to cherish his warmth. This was your safe space; where you could say anything without being judged or hated. Jonah was your sunshine, filling you with warmth and love. He was yours, and you loved him.

That was way before Jonah started drinking, when you had no worries about your relationship. You had imagined that you would be like that forever, yet time had proved you wrong. You tore your eyes away from the old guitar and immediately focused on the teddy bear on the couch. 

You let out a tiny scream as Jonah swept you off your feet, both of you laughing wildly. He had decided to take you to the carnival, one of your favorite events of the year. The two of you had spent the evening playing silly games and eating various sweets. Everything about the night felt magical, as if nothing could go wrong. 

“Another drink, Y/N?” He asked you, pointing to a concession stand. You shook your head and watched as he walked up to buy yet another alcoholic drink. You were quite surprised to see that there wasn’t any drinking limits set, but at that point, Jonah had barely had anything. He returned to your side quickly, taking your hand in his and leading you to the infamous ring toss booth. 

“Hold this?” He asked you, holding out his beer can. You took it from him and grinned as he pulled out two dollars, receiving six rings in return.

“Go Jo Jo!” You cheered playfully, sipping his drink.You weren’t crazy about beer, but drank from time to time on special occasions. You watched as he easily flicked four of the six rings onto the bottle necks, the other two clattering on the floor. The bystanders applauded him happily, the man running the booth congratulating him and handing him a fluffy brown teddy bear. Jonah turned around, holding it out to you.

“For you, m’lady,” he said jokingly as you traded his beer for the stuffed animal. You grinned and pecked his cheek gently. 

“Thank you. I love you Jonah.”

You wished that you could take the happy bear with you, but it wasn’t yours to keep. You sighed and shifted your glance to the small flower vase sitting on the coffee table. It looked nearly perfect from a distance, but when you got closer, you could easily see how the two halves were glued together. 

“Jonah, please!” You shouted at your boyfriend, tears filling your eyes. Jonah was fuming, but you didn’t know why. He had come home late again, still drinking a beer from whatever party he was at. All you had wanted to do was go to bed. 

“Shut up, Y/N! Shut up, shut up, shut up!” He screamed, grabbing the tiny purple vase off the coffee table. “You’re such a little bitch sometimes, you know that? You’re constantly complaining about whatever I do!” He whipped the vase at you, the ceramic cracking in half on the door frame behind you. Silence fell over the apartment as Jonah quickly sobered up. You collapsed to your knees, bawling into your hands. “Oh fuck. Y/N.” 

That night had ended in apologies and cuddles, Jonah swearing that he would never hurt you. He promised that he wouldn’t drink as much as he had been, and you had believed him. Once again, you had been proven horribly wrong. Finally, you walked into the kitchen, eyeing the dirty glasses in the sink. You had been nagging Jonah all weekend to clean up after himself, only to be met with a grunt and a door slam. An empty whiskey bottle sat on the counter, the only item out of place in the entire apartment. You stared at it for a long time before backing away, grabbing a post-it note from the drawer and scribbling a note for Jonah.

  Jonah—

Loving you has consequences.

— Y/N

talk to me ~ zach herron

requested: yes

hi love! welcome back 😂 can I have a request w Zach where he’s dating the reader and he’s like really stressed from work and so every night he cries himself to sleep? but then, one night you hear him and try to comfort him, and he ends up crying and falling asleep in ur arms! Thanks bubs 💜

summary: struggling with issues in his career, zach finds himself troubled with anxiety and insomnia, and when his girlfriend realizes these issues, she’s there to let him share his thoughts and to help him through the rough night.

warning(s): sad, angst, stress, mentions of anxiety

word count: 1564

disclaimer: so basically when i got this request, it was the beginning of the whole zach video being released and i didn’t really know much about it, so i didn’t even think about it when i wrote this (which i wrote right away because i was very inspired by the idea). i’m not even sure that this request was about that video, and tbh, i don’t really care if it was or it wasn’t, it was a damn good idea and i enjoyed writing it. the story, however, does not correlate very factually with the details of what happened so if the request was in relation to the video, i’m sorry to the anon. 

taglist: @ijustreallylovethem @beautybesson @samithepixie @lovableherron @notyotypical @averysgarl @jackaverybabe @jonahmaraismakesmyday @coolerberryfrizzlediz @dailydoseofherron @victoriagrier @w0nderr @heyowdw  @blueeyedbesson @so-not-wdw @beccagraceseavey  @elovesseavey 

also please send me requests 

third person POV

exhaustion fell easily upon zach and y/n. having been a couple for a little while now, y/n had grown used to being herself around zach and certainly felt that zach reciprocated those feelings, so while some more recent things about him did concern her, she tried not to pry, as she knew that zach was being as honest as he could be with her. y/n tried to convince herself that it’s just the busy time of year and that it would get better for him, that it’s just a little bit of stress right now, but always, she had that feeling in the back of her brain that maybe he wasn’t okay as he portrayed with her. a few swollen eye sockets and some symptoms of insomnia weren’t enough for her to stage an intervention however. y/n knew that zach wasn’t someone who easily opened up about how he felt. she didn’t exactly know why this was something he struggled with, but she’d always suspected that he either didn’t want to take down his wall and show that he’s struggled before, or that he always wants to be the hero for the people in his life who are suffering. If he shows that he struggles, then he’s letting down a fan who relies on him for strength and that wasn’t something he was willing to risk. 

however, y/n did know zach pretty well. zach’s management had been putting him under an enormous amount of stress recently with publicity issues and album decisions and to keep himself looking strong and stress free, he shoved all of his thoughts inside and forced himself to keep quiet about it all. it did work for a while, but there is no such thing as limited space and zach broke. it first happened about three weeks ago, when going 48 hours without sleep reached him and once y/n had fallen asleep, he couldn’t help but sob into his pillow. frustrations poured out of him and forced him into a vulnerable position with no one there to help him through it. this sudden outburst began the cycle of breakdowns, at least one occurring every night before he fell asleep until he tired himself out enough to the point of his body shutting down and letting him get some rest. 

zach thought that this was his coping method, that mental breakdowns were the best way for him to release his anxiety and to have him let go, but by the abundances of them, it is clear that while it felt good at the time, sobbing yourself to sleep is only a temporary solution to a problem that needs a more permanent fix. 

y/n’s pov

my body collapsed gently on the bed as i curled my legs into my chest and slipped underneath the silky sheets. beside me, my boyfriend pulled his shirt over his head and then laid down by my body, giving me an exhausted look. I looked at him with concern, understanding that he was doing his best, but couldn’t work up the nerve to ask him what was wrong. if i’d done that, then i knew he would cry right here and now and despite the length of our relationship, i don’t feel prepared to watch him breakdown just yet. 

instead, i pecked his lips, whispered three words and turn my back so that i could try my best to get some sleep. beside me, i could hear him twisting and turning, trying his best to get comfortable. tonight, the first real night of concern, i squeezed my eyes closed and wished for myself to go to sleep, but the thoughtful part of my brain knew that watching zach suffer alone was worse than giving him poor advice or risking the potential of causing him greater pain. while  i carry my own insecurities and fears about hurting him, my ignorance is only allowing him to dig himself into a deeper hole. 

silence filled the room for half an hour before i heard the first whimper. it was quiet, and i almost ignored it, but a minute later, i heard a louder one that turned into a few more cries that were muffled by the pillow that i instincively knew he was shoving into his face to keep himself quiet. i physically felt my heart sink into my stomach as i sat up in the bed and let the comforter fall to my waist. i waited for him to notice for a moment, but instead he shut himself up and laid completely still until i turned on the bedside light, blinding both him and myself. 

this allowed zach to sit up and sniffle. he tried to give me his best confused look, staring me as i watched his eyes pray that his face didn’t show his previous actions. zach’s voice was sore and exhausted as he spoke, “y/n, what’s wrong? are you okay?”

i shook my head and he sat up, doing his best to put on his hero face that i knew pained him even deeper, “zach,” i whispered sympathetically, “you can talk to me, baby.”

“about what, y/n?” he tried to cover up his thoughts, but his cheeks grew redder as y/n frowned. 

“love, you don’t have to build up this wall around me. i’m sorry for not making that clear with you from the beginning. i love you so much and i want you to know that you always have me here to help you through it. you can talk to me.”

“it’s not that simple, y/n,” zach shakes his head, “i’m fine. it’s my own fault and i don’t need to drag you into my mess of a life. you don’t deserve that.”

“zach, you are my mess of a life. Your problems are our problems now and you can tell me things. I can help you like you help everyone else. It’s okay to let go of the cape sometimes.”

“Y/n, i’m fine,” My boyfriend fails to tell me, “I’m stressed about work, that’s all it is. Just some stress.”

“You haven’t been the same for months now and I can hear you at night, zach,” I inform him and water builds up behind his eyes, “A little bit of stress is normal; it’s good. But if you’re having anxiety attacks several times a week, then it’s not okay and i want to help you. I hate seeing you in pain just as much as you hating see me in your position.”

Zach thought about my words for a second and soon enough, i could hear the cracking in his voice, “it’s just been really hard, y/n.”

i nod my head, my heart shattering as i wrap my arms around his back and pull him into my chest. Zach rests his head in my shoulder and i can feel the tears falling down my back as he held me tightly as i squeezed him back. i rubbed his back soothingly, closing my back and letting myself relax against his body to comfort him. 

“e-everyone w-w-wa-wants sum-summthin’ and i feel like i can’t do anything right anymore,” He lets out a loud sob at the end of his thoughts, before screaming a little bit in frustration, “it’s like i’m not--not enough for them. i can never be what they want me to be.”

“shhh, it’s okay love. you are perfectly enough. you are doing the absolute best you can, you always do, and that’s enough,” I tell him softly. While I know he might not listen to it right now, I hope that in the future, I can tell him again and he’ll know it. 

“everyone tried to warn us--to warn me about the industry and the lifestyle, but i-i-i wanted it so badly and i never listened. i should’ve listened,” Zach explained and I could feel my heart hurt even more than before. Music is something that Zach has always loved and wanted to do, but because of some petty managers and extreme rules, he didn’t feel like following his dreams was worth it.

“I know it’s hard, baby, i know,” I told him, “But i promise you, at the lowest point, it can only get better. It will get better. We’re gonna fix it, we’re gonna make things better.”

“how? how can we?” He cries out.

“We can’t do it tonight, but zach, my promise to you is that when you are in a better mental state, you and i will figure this out. We’ll find a solution,” I explain, “And until then, you need to get some sleep so that you are well rested and we can find the right battle to win.”

I sat with my legs parallel to the bed and zach sat parallel to me, his head leaning into my side as i gently ran my fingers through his hair to calm him down a little bit. Zach cried for a little bit longer, but within a few minutes, he was breathing normal and his eyes were closed as he rested against my sleep. I let out a sigh of relief when i could feel that his breathing was regular and his body was fast sleep. Through all of the pain, he just needed a little bit of love and compassion to get him some sleep.