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violetmuses · 2 years

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“Lately” || A Stephen Holder One Shot (18+ MINORS DNI)

TITLE: “Lately” || A Stephen Holder One Shot (18+ MINORS DNI)

FANDOM: “The Killing” (AMC/Netflix Series)

CHARACTER: Homicide Detective Stephen Holder

PAIRING: Female Reader + Stephen Holder

MAIN STORYLINE: Sometimes, drifting away might be the only option.

Author’s Note: Here’s my angst with Stephen! As a warning, this One-Shot also includes SMUT content. (18+ Minors DNI) Adult themes, strong language, etc.

Main Masterlist 💜

J Krew: @nerdysuperchick @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly @lacontroller1991 @shadowkittybucky @loverhymeswith @justin-hammers @weallhaveadestiny @xoxabs88xox @katjnordstrom96 @mayhem24-7forever @fangirl0917 @skvatnavle @sociiallydiisoriiented @heresathreebee @alieninoklahoma @bewitchedignition @maddu-oliveira @reveluving @sugapapichulo @hodgepodge-of-rog @ijustthinkrickflagisprettyneat @ed-baldwin

___________

2012

“Yo, it's me. Baby?” His voice calls out to you as he uses one long-time given key to enter this shared apartment. On the other hand, you keep that bedroom door slightly ajar, but don’t respond right away, still packing your favorite suitcase.

“In here.” You answer him at last, zipping up that suitcase in question and setting this luggage down onto the bedroom floor. Overhead lights prove dim enough to almost feel black, but you know better than to keep Holder in shadows at night.

“Hey….I…what’s going on?” He knocks on the doorway, but folds both sleeved arms, wearing another sweatshirt with jeans and sneakers to beat Seattle chill once more.

“I’m out of here, Stephen.” It isn’t long before you nearly deadpan this response in an effort to stay leveled. Showing too much emotion would’ve rattled your own nerves, especially since you’ve quietly worried about him over the past few months.

“Baby, what’s wrong?” The concern found in his perfect hazel eyes would’ve usually shattered your own heart.

Not anymore.

This entire time you had understood his job completely, but now, it was as if he just treated you like some kind of roommate.

Too many close calls. Too many hospital visits. Too many nights sitting alone and waiting in the living room for nothing. To make matters worse, him keeping you in the dark never felt like safety.

“I can’t do this anymore.” You clear your throat, rolling your suitcase forward until it finally reaches Holder’s eyesight.

“Do what? Talk to me, Mama. What’s wrong?” His words nearly trembled again as Holder struggles. Even you flinch away as he tries to reach and smooth your opposite arm.

“You barely eat after coming home. You sleep in the guest room now. You toss your sweatshirt in the washer and watch basketball games without even talking to me. We’re just here, no longer connected. What am I supposed to do?” You admit the truth, no matter how difficult it feels.

“Look, I’m sorry. You don’t have to leave. Things aren’t easy now, but you really don’t have to leave. Please?” Holder then sets both hands into his pockets while facing and steps back, struggling to answer once more.

“Actions speak louder than words, Stephen.” You utter his first name, fed up without yelling out loud. Other tenants surely aimed for peace and quiet this evening. “Besides, my flight’s booked for tomorrow morning.”

“Where would you go?” He furrows his brow, lowering the voice that usually would’ve melted you from top to bottom.

“Why does it matter?” You defend yourself and of course there’s no other choice. “I’ve already talked to our landlord about this, too. Covered the rent until next year, too, okay? You’ll be fine.”

“I don’t care about the rent.” Stephen tries to persuade you again, gently catching your wrist this time without causing too much harm. “All I want is you.”

“Haven’t acted like it.” You respond, even as he slowly pulls you in to nearly embrace against his clothed chest. Even that grip on your suitcase almost immediately falls off, leaving the luggage to fall onto carpet of the living room.

Standing nose to nose as Stephen nearly towers your height, you feel the warmth of his body. His own breaths calm you. Even nagging thoughts quiet down. You then remember the first time you met him, in the same Seattle rain plummeting now.

“Come back. I’m sorry.” I love you. I love you so much.” He opens enough space between each of you and caresses your face with both hands.

“I love you, too.” You’re now leaning in for this kiss and no longer hesitate, soon joining his lips with your own to accept that apology.

_________

He sweetly offers to use a condom before laying you down on the bed and plunging into your core without fail. He fits like a glove for the first time in weeks, naked above you and shadowing dark nk of never-ending tattoos right onto your body.

Despite every accented thrust inside of you, his own kisses now feel slow and purposeful along your skin.

“I’m sorry.” Stephen whispers to you over and over again and he knows just how close this breakup had been. He knows better now.

“I forgive you.” You tremble beneath. No one else even thought about him like this and you would always remember how much society failed this man. Your beautiful man.

Stephen’s pace stutters above you before he can even realize it and he spills into the condom, almost heaving as sweat falls onto your joined bodies.

“Hey,” Stephen grins against your lips, ghosting another sweet kiss that doesn’t quite meet your own lips now.

“Hi,” You mumble back towards him, deliciously exhausted. Between the shadows of this bedroom, he still rests within your core, but then reaches out to gently caress your face.

Tresses of your own hair fall out of place and his finger moves to set it back in form. Those perfect hazels return to make eye contact and bore right into your soul.

“I’ll do better. Promise.” His voice is lower than usual, but you silently accept his vow and fall asleep in his safe arms minutes later.

#one shot #smut warning #minors do not interact #minor dni #adult themes #strong language #stephen holder x you #stephen holder x reader #stephen holder x female reader #stephen holder #joel kinnaman fanfiction #joel kinnaman #the killing fanfic #the killing #the killing fan fic #breakup tw #breakup #makeup sex

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justin-hammers · 2 years

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Some Gender Flip Alternative Universe Aesthetic Castings (The "I'm biased for Joel" Edition")

My Black Widower/Nathaniel Romanov

My Gamor

Blame Erik Heller and 2021 Rick Flag for making me think he'll make a good gender flip version of Black Widow and Gamora. Their attitudes and mannerisms literally fit these characters. That and an excuse for Joel to wear a catsuit.

#joel kinnaman #alternative fan castings #aestheitcs #marvel aesthetic

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kornelias · 2 years

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— Take it, it’s yours. From the moment I met you, it’s yours.

Joel Kinnaman as Takeshi Kovacs, Altered Carbon

Instagram: _idealart 🦄

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genezis79 · 1 year

Photo

#joel kinnaman #alycia debnam-carey #fan art #roleplay #rpg #crackship

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gordopickett · 3 months

Video

youtube

Lost & Found - Gordo & Ed's Friendship - For All Mankind

I made my first ever fan vid a few days ago. It's Gordo & Ed from For All Mankind. I love their friendship so much & the way Ed is always there for Gordo when he's going through a rough time. 🥹💙🥰

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justsomerandomfanfic · 1 year

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I Just Want To Say...

THANK YOU to the fellow writers, creators, authors, and artists that are listed below! You guys have inspired me on so many levels! Your work, art, and fanfics always bring a smile to my face, I love reading them so much. I hope you guys keep creating more amazing works and continue to inspire and make others smile too! I'm rooting for all! And I can't wait to see what you all do next! - Chloe <3

I implore those who see this post, to check out these fabulous creators, give them love!

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loverhymeswith · 2 years

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Between the Lines | Stephen Holder x F!Reader | Chapter Five

Masterlist

Summary: A Stephen Holder AU. We’ve all seen those true crime shows, where infamous cases are re-enacted for the entertainment of audiences at home. What if The Killing really was just a television show, but the detectives and cases were real?

Warnings: The Killing spoilers, language, smoking, mention of addiction

Word Count: 3,080 words

A/N: This fic has truly been a collaborative process with the massively talented Vee (@a-reader-and-a-writer) ! Thank you so much for sharing this journey with me and helping out with so much of the plot and dialogue. This is just as much your story as it is mine.

Thank you to the wonderful @sociiallydiisoriiented for beta-reading! Your advice has been invaluable <3

Finished with wardrobe and make-up for the morning, Stephen returns to his trailer, where he finds Hendrix sprawled out across the sofa, waiting for him with coffee and bagels. It's become somewhat of a routine ever since she returned to set and if he's honest, it's one of the highlights of his day.

"A'ight," he greets her, scooping her legs out of the way so that he can flop down onto the sofa beside her. She’s wearing a Nirvana t-shirt today. Even with his minimal musical knowledge, he recognises that particular name.

"Hey." She looks up slowly from her phone and when her eyes land upon him, she blinks. "What happened to the hoodie?"

Stephen glances down at his outfit - or rather his costume - for the day. He's dressed in a plain white shirt and a blue striped tie, with black slacks and a dark trench coat - the producers' idea of showing his career progression as they transition into the third season of the show. In reality, he'd kept his dress code far more casual. The shirt and tie combination is suffocating, chafing at his throat.

"You like?"

She bites her lip and shrugs noncommittally, but there’s a sparkle in her eye. "You look more like a detective now."

"So you didn't like the hoodie?" Feigning disappointment, he tugs at the tie, attempting to loosen it. If the wardrobe department wanted to finish him off, they’re doing a damn good job of it.

"I loved the hoodie. It made you look… snuggly."

"Snuggly?" He turns his nose up, still fumbling with the tie. "And what about now?"

Hendrix shifts forwards in her seat and silently reaches out until her fingers are gently covering his own. She pries them away from the tie and he sits as still as a statue while she carefully loosens the knot. She’s so close he can smell her lavender scented shampoo.

When she’s finished, she sits back and looks at him properly. He feels himself tense under the weight of her gaze. "I mean, I guess you look kinda hot…"

Before he can fully register the unexpected compliment, she holds out her phone and he hears the telltale snap of the camera.

"Yo, what you doin'?"

She smiles sweetly and after a few taps, she pockets the phone. "Nothin'."

"Don't sound like nothin'. What you gonna do with that picture?"

"Don't worry about it."

He leans over, caging her against the back of the sofa with one arm. "Lemme see."

She shakes her head, clearly holding back a laugh when the phone buzzes with an incoming message.

"Yo, who'd you send that to?"

"No one."

"Gimme the phone." He moves his free hand to her waist and prods her. She wriggles beneath him and pushes at his chest, the laughter bursting out of her freely now. It's like music to his ears.

"No way!"

Her fingers are warm through the soft cotton of his shirt and he wonders if she can feel his heart racing. "You gonna make me get it myself?" He growls playfully, dipping his head until their brows are nearly touching.

Her hands haven't moved from his chest and she doesn't so much as falter at the intrusion into her personal space, matching him in tone when she replies. "I'd like to see you try."

"A'ight. It's on." His hand lowers to the front pocket of her jeans, where he can see the phone sticking out. She doesn't try to stop him, her breath hitching instead.

Stephen pauses. With their foreheads now touching, he suddenly finds it hard to breathe. This time, it has nothing to do with the tie.

He isn't really going to kiss her, is he?

The decision is taken out of his hands when Linden walks in, only briefly hesitating in the doorway when she sees their compromising position. Quickly untangling himself from Hendrix, he nods to his friend. "What's up?"

If Linden is surprised by the scene she walks into, she doesn’t let it show. Instead, she tosses a script into his lap and folds her arms. "You're not going to believe this."

"Believe what?"

"Just read it and you'll see."

Stephen flips open the front page, acutely aware of Hendrix shuffling along the couch until she's pressed firmly against his side and peering down at the pages in his hands. His awareness of her proximity soon fades into the distance, however, as they flick through the script.

It’s only a matter of minutes before he’s cursing the network. "Yo, this is fuckin' bullshit."

After the first few episodes, the narrative has taken a sharp deviation from reality and Stephen doesn't know what's worse: his character's treatment of their young informant, Bullet; attacking his fellow detective, Carl Reddick, in front of the man's family; or his personal favourite…

“Yo, I never tried to kiss Linden! This whole thing is a fuckin' joke."

"It gets worse." Linden leans over and skips to the last few pages. "Apparently, I’m the one who kills Skinner. The bastard shot himself. Can you believe this?"

Hendrix was noticeably silent while they read, but she pipes up now, her words laced with misery. "You know this is the producers' way of punishing you both for sticking up for me, right?"

As much as he hates to admit it, Stephen fears she may be right.

"You like her, don't you?"

Stephen is sitting opposite Linden in a mock-up of her old kitchen, fake case files laid out between them on the wooden table. There's a problem with some of the lighting equipment, and they're waiting for filming to resume.

"What you talkin' 'bout?"

Linden arches her brow. "Don't play coy with me. You know exactly who I'm talking about. I saw you together earlier."

She's referring, of course, to Hendrix, and the fact that things may have gotten a little heated before she burst in.

Stephen shrugs. "S'nothin'. We was just messin'."

But it does feel like there's been a shift in their friendship over the last few weeks. He suspects that Linden has noticed it too. For a start, he and Hendrix have been spending much more time together. Now that she has no other responsibilities, she's been hiding out in his trailer when she’s not needed on set. And while he can't blame her for wanting to avoid the rest of the cast and crew, selfishly, he's a little glad to have her all to himself.

It’s not just the amount of time they’ve been spending together, either. It’s what they’ve been doing during that time, or more accurately, what Stephen has been doing. It was accidental at first, the brush of his leg against hers when they sat side by side on the sofa, or the sly elbow nudges at the back of the cast briefings. But over time, he’s found himself actively seeking out ways to touch her, whether it’s the way his fingers linger a little too long on hers as they pass the script back and forth, or the way he’ll flop down in the trailer after a particularly tough day of filming and rest his head in her lap.

"I know you don't want my advice, Holder. But I'm giving it to you anyway. Be careful."

When he flashes her an incredulous look, Linden reaches out and covers his hand. "I just don't want to see either of you get hurt. Wait a few more weeks until this craziness is over. Then, if you're serious about her, you should go for it."

Stephen shakes his head, but the hint of a grin tugs at his mouth. He should have known he could count on Linden to always be five steps ahead of him.

Stephen is nervous, and it's not just about the upcoming interview. He's been staring out of his trailer window and waiting for Hendrix for what feels like hours now. In reality, it's probably only been a few minutes since the stylists left.

Stylists - certainly not something he ever expected to experience before embarking on the production of The Killing. While he'll never quite get used to being fussed over like this, it's become such a regular occurance that he barely notices anymore. His mind has been elsewhere for months.

Thankfully, now that filming is finally over, he actually has a say when it comes to his wardrobe. The afternoon's interview is supposed to include a photoshoot, so he's opted for a pair of fitted jeans and a dark jacket to go over his plain white t-shirt. It's a world away from anything he's been wearing on set and without the layers of makeup and hair product, he's finally starting to recognise himself in the mirror. He can’t help but wonder what Hendrix will think.

Fidgeting with the blinds, he tries to calm his racing pulse. There's still no sign of her. Where the hell is she? She's supposed to be accompanying him to the interview before they return to set this evening for the wrap party, and he doesn’t just need her for moral support.

Having taken Linden's advice to heart, Stephen has been counting down to this day for the past six weeks. That isn't to say that he's stayed away from Hendrix in the meantime. If anything, they've become closer than ever. She continues to hide out in his trailer in between shooting, and their days have been stretching out for much longer, with them leaving for their separate hotels later and later every evening.

But this is the last night before production officially ends and the cast and crew scatter to the wind. While he knows that she’s originally from Seattle, it occurred to Stephen that he’s never asked her if that’s where she’ll be returning to tomorrow. For all he knows, she might be flying across the country while he returns to the Emerald City with Linden. What would that mean for the two of them? Could there even be a ‘them’ after all of this is over? Sure, he’s been dreaming of taking their friendship to the next level, but is that even possible? What if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if he goes ahead and says something, and it ruins one of the best friendships that he’s ever had?

The trailer door flies open, dragging him out of a downward spiral. He already knows it's Hendrix because she no longer bothers knocking. "Sorry I'm late, I-" she falters mid-sentence, and it is only now that Stephen turns to face her. Her eyes are wide and her mouth is hanging open as she takes in the sight of him. "Wow… Stephen. You look… amazing."

But Stephen is barely listening. He's too busy trying not to stare at her. Gone are the ripped jeans and oversized band t-shirts. They've been replaced by a knee length fitted black dress, clinging to the curves she's been hiding all this time. Her hair has been tamed into a slick up-do and her big eyes have been accentuated with a subtle touch of makeup.

A soft smile slowly spreads across Stephen's face. “You're one to talk. Damn, look at you! What happened to the bands?"

She bites her lip, ducking her head in embarrassment. "I thought I should make myself look a little more professional since I’m representing the studio at this thing. You don't.... you don't think it's too much?"

"Nah, you look perfect." Stephen knows he’s staring but as much as he tries, he can't seem to drag his gaze away from her lips.

"You ready?" She asks, snapping him out of his daze. "The car is here."

Stephen, still a little lost for words, simply nods.

She offers him her hand and a shy smile. "Let's go."

When he finds himself sitting by her side in the back of the car five minutes later, Stephen keeps his arms folded, fighting the urge to reach over and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. He tells himself he just needs to get through the damn interview.

It turned out to be more difficult than he anticipated. If the journalist manages to cobble a coherent story together, Stephen will be impressed. He doesn’t remember the answers he gave, and he certainly doesn’t remember the questions. Every ounce of his concentration had been fixed on the woman sitting quietly in the corner of the room. He could barely take his eyes off her and every time he glanced in her direction, she seemed to be looking at him, too, a encouraging smile fixed on her face.

Now that they’re back on set, Stephen feels as if his heart is in his throat. He’s painfully aware that time is rapidly slipping away from him if he wants to say something. But as to what it is he actually wants to say, he has no idea. There’s nothing in Hendrix’s demeanour to suggest that she’s even thinking about the fact that this might be their final night together, and he’s avoided bringing it up so far.

“Think I’m actually gonna miss this place,” he muses as they find themselves looking out over what remains of the set.

Much of it has been taken down already, but a few key locations still remain. The rest of the cast and crew are gathered at the back of the lot, enjoying what they probably imagine is a well-deserved drink. Stephen knows that Hendrix still feels uncomfortable after everything that happened, so they are hanging back beside his trailer instead of joining in with the festivities.

“Really?” She looks up at him doubtfully.

“Not all of it,” he clarifies with a grin. “The whole thing’s dragged up alotta bad memories. But those days weren’t all so horrible. We had some good times, too.”

Hendrix slips her hand into his. “Tell me about the good times.”

He smiles down at her. “A’ight. Lemme give you the tour.”

They start with the office, where Stephen met Linden for the first time almost five years ago. As far as the show goes, their introduction was recreated pretty accurately. What they didn’t show, however, was that it wasn’t just the one box of files he knocked over, but three of them, all within the first sixty seconds of their introduction. And Linden never lets him forget it.

Next, they make their way over to the car, identical to the one he drove for so many years. It’s locked, so they don’t linger for long, but he tells Hendrix how, in reality, Linden hardly ever let him drive, control freak that she is.

Hendrix eats them up, all of these small, seemingly insignificant details. Details that only Stephen and Linden know about, that no amount of research could have revealed.

The final stop is his old apartment. Without the lighting, it’s dark and maybe slightly ominous. But it’s still familiar. The set designers did a brilliant job bringing it to life. Spreading his arms, he turns to her and grins. “Welcome to my dojo, my sanctuary of light.”

“I still can’t believe you actually called it that.” She smirks. “I thought Liz was joking.”

“Nah, Liz loved it. You know I used to watch Davie for her here? Linden and Jack would come over and we’d have take-out and watch horror movies.” He drops onto the sofa and gestures for her to join him.

She doesn’t hesitate, sitting close enough to Stephen that their legs are almost touching, but there’s a pensive look on her face. He’d give just about anything to know what she’s thinking. His own mind has wandered to one of the final scenes they shot here. They haven’t really spoken about it, but it suddenly feels necessary to clear the matter once and for all.

Shifting uncomfortably, Stephen clears his throat. "You know, I never tried kissin' Linden. I swear. She's been a friend, a mentor, a confidant, but nothin' more. And filmin' that scene.... I didn't think I could go through with it, even if we didn't really have to kiss."

Hendrix looks up at him. "How did you get through it then?"

Stephen hesitates, realising that it all comes down to this moment. All the months of friendship, the laughter, all those special moments that he knows are going to stay with him forever. Is he really going to risk it all?

But the answer is clear. For Hendrix, he’ll risk anything, just as she did for him.

He edges closer to her until there is no longer any space between them. Staring deep into her eyes, he takes a breath. "The whole time we were filmin’, I was thinkin' about the person I wished I was kissin' instead. The person I’ve been wantin' to kiss for a long time now. And I ain't waitin' any longer."

Reaching up to cup her cheek, he leans in until their foreheads are almost touching. When he’s just a breath away, he hesitates, giving her the chance to retreat. But instead of pulling from his grasp, she closes the gap.

When their lips finally meet, the world slows down. She’s just as soft and as sweet as he’s been imagining for all these months, and even though the wait has been slowly killing him, he’d do it all over again.

Reluctantly, he breaks the kiss and finds Hendrix smiling shyly back at him. "I am so glad I'm not the only one.” She bites her lip. “I didn’t think I could wait a minute longer."

“Really?” He might have had his suspicions that she felt something too, but he never really dared to let himself believe it.

“Really,” she assures him.

Stephen kisses her again. He just can’t help himself.

When they part for the second time, his mind turns to tomorrow. “So what’s the plan now? You headin’ back to Seattle or..?”

“Seattle,” she nods. “And you?”

“Seattle,” he confirms with a grin. “You wanna grab a coffee sometime?”

She laughs; it’s a beautiful sound. “Coffee, Stephen? After months of drinking coffee together, that’s what you want to do?”

“Ay, you got any better ideas?”

“Oh, I’ve got plenty of ideas” She grins, one hand rising to clutch the edge of his jacket. Before he can ask what she means, she’s pulling him back down into a kiss.

One thing is for certain, he’s had enough of the past to last him a lifetime: with Hendrix by his side, it’s time to start living in the present.

Joel Taglist: @a-reader-and-a-writer @babblydrabbly @skvatnavle @yespolkadotkitty @sociiallydiisoriiented @bewitchedignition @fairchildflag @edwardbaldwin @mayhem24-7forever @phoenixhalliwell @s-u-t @immyownlittlebitch @heresathreebee @weallhaveadestiny @lavenderluna10 @katjnordstrom96 @kirsteng42

Story Taglist: @madkovacs

#stephen holder #joel kinnaman #stephen holder x reader #the killing #stephen holder x you #between the lines #au #the killing fan fic

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