๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐๐ข๐ง๐ง๐๐ซ (๐๐๐ญ๐)
เฟ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ : ๐๐ข๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ง ๐ฑ ๐๐๐ฆ!๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ซ
เฟ ๐ ๐๐ง๐ซ๐: ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ!๐๐ (๐ก๐'๐ฌ ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ), ๐ง๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ/๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฌ!๐๐, ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐!๐๐; ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐, (๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐) ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ
เฟ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ: 3k
เฟ ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ง๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ: ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ฒ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ก๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ, ๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ง ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๏ฟฝ๐ง๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ซ...
(NOT PROOFREAD!)
โ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ โ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ โ ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ญ โ
"Alright", Jake sighs and tries his very best to hide the excitement rushing through his body, despite the fact his boys know him better than anyone on this planet and can easily tell from the way he's been carrying the biggest smile on his face for the past two hours.
"How do I look?" The young parent turns to his friends, who are currently all laid out on his bed, phones in their hands before they sit up and mumble a row of approving words.
"It's not too much, right? This time it's a date but I still don't want to overdo it", he says nervously and runs a hand through his dark hair, adjusts his jewelry and then comes to sit on the chair at his desk.
"You look great, Yun", Heeseung says and smiles at him, the older one's mind filled with anxious thoughts as he remembers the messages he had exchanged with his best friend's brother, "and you're not doing too much, I promise."
Jake nods at the reassurance and actually lets out a loud chuckle at the thought of getting to spend the whole evening with you, the one thing he's been looking forward to all week.
To say the past few days had been hard would be an understatement.
After his older brother had contacted him, Jake had to deal with a constant state of anxiety in a way he hasn't had to in years. The first few nights he barely slept as the fear of losing his younger brother to Chan made sleep absolutely unbearable. Seyun is his baby, after all. He's the human he has been raising for so long, the actual reason why he's still here and living a life he never thought he'd come to love again. The mere thought of their oldest taking him away breaking his heart with absolute ease.
Jaeyun doesn't know who Chan is anymore, and the more he thinks about it, the more he realises he probably never knew who his brother was in the first place.
Because the Chan Hyung he knew, loved, adored and admired all these years would have never abandoned his baby brothers for a life without responsibilities.
But apparently he was wrong all along, which is probably the reason why he's been so careful and worried about the oldest trying anything to take away Seyun from him, something Jake doesn't want to think about or even imagine.
After a few sleepless nights, Heeseung and you had decided to take turns in checking up on the young parent, knowing he'd feel safest when you two are around to let himself get a tiny bit of sleep. In those few days Jake has been more than just grateful for the support system he's got, something he sometimes unintentionally takes for granted yet always appreciates.
He would have never made it this far without his Heeseung Hyung. The two boys went through it all in a way nobody could ever understand. Seung was there for Jake when Seyun ran his first fever, drove and stayed with them at the hospital until early morning, taking care of the youngest all while comforting his best friend and giving him the reassurance he needed. Endless moments in which Lee Heeseung became the older brother Jaeyun had needed oh so badly, his dearest friend and actual soultwin.
His boys all came around about a year after Jake had moved back to Seoul and ever since they had created this little circle of comfort people, Jake felt like nothing would ever bring him down again. He was on top of the world and despite being scared at first, your presence in his life has only added onto this feeling.
Maybe that's why the whole shift of your friendship makes him so nervous. Maybe it's the thought of things not working out and losing you which makes his heart skip a beat in the worst way possible.
Just as Jake is about to lose himself in all those negative and heartbreaking thoughts, Heeseung notices the shift in his facial expressions and quickly calls out for him, not wanting him to go somewhere this dark again.
"Sim Jaeyun."
The young parent quickly shoots his head in the direction of his friends, all four of them, including his youngest brother, attentively staring at him and pulling him back into reality with just their gazes.
"Don't go there, bro", Jay suddenly says and smiles, the expression not reaching his eyes as sadness fills the dark brown and makes Jake realise just how good these boys know him, "you're going to have a great night with a great woman. That's all that matters right now, yeah?"
All he can do is nod in response before he takes a last look into the mirror and then makes his way to the front door.
Despite all of the boys knowing the rules, Jake can't help but go through them all again, painfully aware they're going to break at least one of the rather strict ones for the sake of the little one's happiness.
"And no matter what", he sighs and opens the door, turning back around to face his friends, "if anything happens, you call me, yeah?"
They all just start nodding their head in complete sync and with a bright smile Jake kneels down to be on eye level with his brother, a worry filled expression grazing his usually so happy features as he lets out a soft sigh.
"And you'll be a good boy for your Hyungs, right?" Jaeyun takes his brother's tiny face into his big hands and places a soft kiss on each cheek before he goes for his forehead and rests his lips just a tad bit longer there as the younger one eagerly starts blabbering out his promises.
"I'm so proud of you, CJ", he whispers and smiles, all the boys almost sadly watching the scene unfold as Seyun remains completely unaware of his older brother's worries and anxiety, "I know you're going to have lots of fun. And if you're not asleep by the time we're back, Noona might come over and read you your nighttime story, okay?"
His words are almost immediately being followed by an overly enthusiastic nod and a tight hug before the younger suddenly lets out a loud giggle.
"Noona!" The formality has Jake's ears perk up in excitement and with a bright smile he quickly gets up and turns around to look at you, only to have every bit of air knocked out of his lungs from your sight.
"Wow", he breathes and lets his hungry eyes roam your body, your cute little dress almost perfectly matching the vibe of his own outfit and the longer he stares at you, the tighter his throat feels.
You're so beautiful, so much prettier than anyone he's ever seen. And as soon as his gaze meet yours, he feels himself getting lightheaded.
"So pretty", he whispers and elicits a row of loud chuckles from you and his boys, which quickly makes him realise that he, acain, actually said his thoughts out loud.
"Thank you, Jae", you reply calmly and nervously pull on your fingers before you come to stand right in front of him.
"You look really good, too." It takes everything in your willpower to stop yourself from just hugging him, your body actually craving the feeling of his strong arms and the absolute feeling of security and comfort they come with.
"Alright! Time to say our goodbyes, Yunie", Sunoo says and shoots a wink at you, a cheeky grin plastered on his and the other boys' faces as they watch you hug Seyun and then quickly disappearing back inside, leaving the two of you all alone.
"I'm sorry", Jake suddenly says when you reach the elevator, your brows furrowing in confusion, "I always make things awkward but you just make me so fucking nervous."
His confession drives the butterkies in your tummy absolutely crazy and you physically can't stop yourself from giggling in response.
"You're okay, Jae", you quickly reassure him and place your hand on his arm, his big puppy eyes almost instantly finding yours and if it wasn't for the doors of the elevator closing, you would have lost yourself in the sweetest brown you've ever seen.
"Oh, my God", Jake starts laughing and quickly overs his flushed face from your eyes, his sudden shyness making you happy in the sweetest way possible.
You don't comment on it, though. The two of you make your way out of the apartment building and get straight into the uber Jake had ordered, a beat of silence following before he sighs and places his hand on yours.
"I haven't done...this in quite a while", he confesses, "and the last time wasn't even as serious because I was a literal teenager and didn't even go on proper dates with her." You still remain quiet, yet nod at him to let him know you're attentively listening to everything he says, subconsciously enjoying the sound of his voice.
"And I'm a little nervous about disappointing you, if I gotta be honest", at these words however, you almost automatically furrow your brows.
"Jaeyun", you sigh and scoot a little closer to him, not pushing his hand away from yours as you look him in the eyes and smile.
He's just so pretty. Pretty in a way you can't even begin to describe it. As if his features were perfectly chosen to fit each other, creating an actual piece of art and something you could stare at for hours, especially his nose. You've never seen anyone with a nose as perfect as his and as weird as this may sound, you can't even get yourself to feel ashamed of your thoughts.
"All of this is new to me, too", you reassure him and try your best to stop violently staring at his nose, "I know you're trying your best, so please don't worry about disappointing me. It doesn't matter what we do or where we go, I'm just happy to spend time with you. There's no such thing as the perfect date and from what Seung has told me you've been trying to plan this night to its full perfection, but I hope you know that I'm going to love it even if things don't go as expected."
Jake never once averts his gaze from yours and the longer he looks at you with those eyes, the calmer you feel, something you've never quite experienced like this and for the tenth time within the past ten minutes you feel your whole body going absolutely crazy.
"Thank you", he whispers and lets out a loud sigh of relief once he's processes all of your words, "it's crazy how much your words calm me down. It's like you always know what to say or do to put me at ease."
Jaeyun's words are sincere and from the way he's looking at you, you can tell he actually just said what's on his heart.
Once the two of your arrive at the restaurant, Jaeyun makes sure to give you the full dinner date experience: holds the door open for you, pulls your chair back and orders for you. He doesn't even think twice about switching his plate with yours when your order turns out to be a lot spicier than you thought, cracking a joke here and there to ease the unintended tension in between stories and attentively listening to every single one of your cute little childhood stories.
Every once in a while you notice the way he tries his best to hold back a cough as the intensity of the spice hits him and at one point you can't stop yourself from bursting into laughter when he lets out the loudest, dad-worthy cough the second everyone in the restaurant goes silent.
It doesn't take long for the two of you to leave after that, Jake's face covered in the deepest shades of red from all the stares he had been receiving, his tongue and mouth burning from how hot that "fucking" pasta actually was and still as hungry as he was when you two got there.
To make up for the misery you had put him in, you jokingly pulled him into the next convenient store, preparing the two of you his favorite ramen bowl and even getting him something sweet for dessert, which you end up eating at a random down the road.
You don't even realise how fast time passes as you calmly watch the mannerisms of Sim Jaeyun attentively, hating the way how everything he does seems to be attractive in your eyes. The way he licks his lips, the smile spreading on his face when you tell him a story about your first childhood heartbreak, his expressive eyes, even the way he's holding his chopsticks makes your heart skip a beat.
And for the first time in years you feel seen, heard and actually listened to. Jaeyun makes sure to give you his complete attention as soon as you start talking, his reactions remain as sincere and genuine from the beginning until the very end and you can't help but love the feelings he's causing inside of you.
As the night goes on, you start talking about likes and dislikes, favorites and leasts, family and friends, heartbreaks and plans for the future, a first for you as well as for him.
Jaeyun even talks about his plans pre-accident, doesn't hesitate to mention his disappointment yet quickly letting you know how he doesn't mind being where he is right now and you can't help but think about Jake as a teenager and all of his dreams before destiny had decided to take them away from him.
The tears find their way down your cheeks before you can even process it and as soon as Jaeyun takes notice of your reaction he stops in his tracks to look at you.
"Oh, no", he whispers and gently takes your face into his big hands to wipe away your tears, his heart doublibg in its size when you move further into his touch, "it's okay, pretty girl. I've accepted things and know this had to happen, please don't cry."
His soft tone, the gentleness of his expression and the absolute adoration in his pretty eyes as well as the nickname just make you sob harder and without missing a beat you bury your face in his neck and cry just a little more.
Jake doesn't say anything after that, just wraps his arms around your body and caresses your back, plays with your hair and even places a gentle kiss on top of your head.
"Hey", he suddenly says and reaches for your cheek to pull you away and lock eyes with him, easily losing yourself in the comfort his gaze comes with, "hi, pretty one."
You actually chuckle at his compliment and finally get yourself to calm down, your eyes quickly focusing on the way Jake pulls his plump bottom lip in between his teeth; the one habit of his which never fails to make your head spin.
You don't know how long the two of you just look at each other but the more time passes, the more intense the urge to just kiss him becomes.
"Can I...", his voice is a mere whisper and you can tell he's actually holding his breath as the blush grazes the tip of his nose now, too, "can I kiss you?"
You can't get yourself to actually respond to him, so all you do is nod, maybe even a little too enthusiastically and from the way Jake bites his lip even harder, you can tell he's very much aware and definitely amused by your reaction.
He calmly pulls your face closer to his own, gently nudging his nose against yours and placing the softest kiss on the corner of your lips as if he was teasing you.
"Jae", you whisper against his lips and tighten your grip on his shirt, "please."
And since Jake has never been one to make you wait, he doesn't miss another moment before he pulls you into a soft kiss.
The feeling of his plump lips finally meeting yours pushes every bit of oxygen out of your lungs, leaving you completely lightheaded. The more he deepens the kiss, the greedier you become and for a moment you can't even remember your own name. You follow the movement of his lips with your own, jolts of arousal rushing through your body as his taste starts coating the muscle of your tongue you can't get yourself to stop.
Jaeyun kisses you in a way you've never experienced it before. Passionate, eager and hungry, yet calm and gentle to the point where you feel like you're floating.
Every now and then he sighs against your lips, digs his teeth into the soft flesh and smiles at your reactions before he pulls away to stop himself from passing out.
And just when you thought this moment couldn't become any more perfect, Jaeyun slowly places his lips on your forehead and lets them rest there as he gives you both the opportunity to catch your breaths.
"You're so..cute", he chuckles and quickly places a hasty kiss on your parted lips, "so fucking cute."
"Stop teasing me", you mumble and bury your face in his chest, too flustered to even look at him, your brain still cloudy from the kiss.
"Me? Teasing you? Never", Jake chuckles yet bursts into actual laughtee when you look at him with a dead expression, yet pulling you back into his arms right after.
By the time you come to stand at your front door again, five hours had already passed by and this week's exhaustion catches up on the both of you.
Jake doesn't talk much once he gets a little sleepier and from his constant blinking and lack of verbal response you can tell said time of the night has arrived.
You give him another quick kiss and finally get yourself to say your goodbye, only to push your face into a pillow and muffle your scream of excitement as memories of the whole evening fill your head.
And for the first time in weeks, you go to sleep without any doubts or worries, because nothing has ever felt as right as Sim Jaeyun, regardless of what your beain has been trying to tell you.
Taglist: @writingmochi @raikea10 @moonlighthoon @ajayke-reads @bldelaine @rikisly @enhaz1 @ineedsomezzz @ikeu4life @theskzvibe @kpoprhia @jayzdaze @a-l-i-y-a @catnoirsbitch05 @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @end0rchans @ddazed-lhs @sunflowerbebe07 @heeverseblog @voidbeomgyu @heerinnie @vanillabeanwaffle @mimikittysblog @l0vee-l3tters @teawithbucky @fluerz @spilled-coffee-cup @3amstarlight @jungwon-xo @smg-valeria @elicheel @bobariki @beomgyusonlywife @sumarchived
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โโโ โ HE WAS A JOCK, AND SHE DID BALLET
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Jake sim was a loser. Frat boy persona and charismatic antics aside, the moment Jake was alone with a girl he would freeze. Which explains his track record of having only slept with one girl all throughout college. That was until, you came in: Decelis' top ballerina and prized possession. Following a drunken one night stand and some (shitty) advice from his friends, Jake hopes you could help him out.
pairing โโ jake x female reader
genre โโ strangers to lovers, fwb (no smut tho!), college au, obvious x oblivious, denied feelings, veryyy lengthy fic
wc โโ 16.6k
featuring โโ jay, heeseung and sunghoon of enhypen, kazuha and yunjin of lesserafim, yuna and ryujin of itzy, seunghan of riize, soobin of txt, karina and winter of aespa, jisung and hyunjin of stray kids
warnings โโ mentions of sex and hooking up, implied sex, suggestive at some parts, cursing, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of family issues, yn is kinda mean and bitchy (i tried to base her off of jo yi seo so!), mentions of crying and breaking down, mentions of blood and periods, kms jokes used, mentions of food, mentions of kissing, use of the word whore once i think, jake and yn arguing a lot
DISCLAIMERS! i'm not trying to sexualize jake nor any other idols, this is a work of fiction
Beep beep beep!
Groggily you startled open rubbing your eyes trying to locate where the hell that blaring alarm sound was coming from. Finally finding the small slim black clock atop the nightstand you muttered a string of curses below your breath, slamming your hand down on it putting a stop to the shrieking rings. You immediately closed your eyes and attempted to lull yourself back to sleep pulling your black comforter over your head, arm grabbing for the pillow beneath you then- wait, you donโt own black comforters?ย
Neither did you own a black alarm clock (not to be rude but who the hell even owned alarm clocks in this day and age?). Slowly you realised, you didnโt own any of thisโฆfuck.ย
Looking around trying to collect your thoughts you scanned the room to try and get a clue of which dude your drunken self managed to have a one-night stand with this time. Noticing a sleek leather wallet on the nightstand next to the alarm clock, you immediately grabbed it trying to see if there was a student ID, driver's licence, hell anything. Imagine your surprise when the first thing you saw was none other than a Decelis student ID laminated and shining with the name Jake Sim printed on it. Oh shit.
You muttered strings of curses under your breath, did you seriously have a one-night stand with Jake Sim? The proclaimed loser of the Decelis Soccer Frat? The same dude who had the reputation of trying (and failing) to let alone hold a proper conversation with the girl's gymnastic team? That Jake Sim? You scoffed under your breath, god you couldnโt believe this. Fuck you seriously needed to get a hold of your drinking problem.ย
โOh, youโre upโ oh great. You were too busy trying to figure out how you got yourself into this problem that you failed to notice that said problem was standing there leaning against the bathroom door frame right in front of you.ย
Whipping your head up you were greeted with the sight of Jake Sim, toothbrush in mouth, dishevelled mess, awkwardly smiling right at you. โUh, Hi Jake.โ you looked around awkwardly trying not to stare at him since he was practically half naked โCould you um, put on a shirt?โย
โYeah, youโre kinda wearing it thoughโฆโย
You glanced down to see that you were indeed wearing his shirt, the large oversized plain black tee was so big it hung over you like a dress.ย
โRight.โ you said in an exasperated sigh walking past Jake into the bathroom with your clothes in hand to change
โUh do you want breakfast? Tylenol? Are you hungover?โ He was only met with the door shut in his face.ย
โYeah uhโ you called out, muffled and in between grunts trying to change into your clothes as fast as possible, โNo, not really! I kinda, you know, have to get back to my dorm.โย
โOh yeah totally,โ Jake replied awkwardly fuck how do you even talk to someone you just had a one-night stand with? Jesus, how did Heeseung do this shit. โHere.โ you said opening the door to hand him his shirt.ย
โAh, thanksโ Jake said quietly as he draped the shirt over his body. He stood there still brushing his teeth as he watched you pack your things up, shooting your head back to ask โAre the other guys still here?โย
โNah, they all left to practise earlierโ he replied watching you let out a slightly relieved sigh as you stood in front of his mirror tying your hair into a loose ponytail and touching up your makeup slightly โSoโฆโ he attempted to start before being cut off by you.
โYeah um, thanks for whatever last night was Jake. Canโt really remember most of it, Iโm sure it was good,โ briskly lacing up your shoes you mentally cursed yourself for deciding to wear docs last night, โbut maybe letโs not bring this up like, ever.โ Finishing off with a tight knot and immediately pouncing up to only be met with Jakeโs lost eyes and mouth slightly agape.
โAnyways! I really need to get going now so Iโll see you around โkay?โ You walked backwards until your hand reached the door handle and turned it. The moment you stepped out you practically ran down the steps, cheeks and ears red, still muttering curses quietly, and regretting all the decisions you made last night.ย
And there Jake Sim stood, hopeless as ever, watching the second woman heโd ever had a one-night stand with leave running. Fun.ย
Not to be full of yourself but you kinda had a reputation in Decelis, top ballerina, rich mother, the whole shebang.ย
And well Jake on the other hand,
Meย
I think I just slept with Jake Sim
Kazuha Nakamura
EXCUSE MEย
Me
Yeah hahaha.. LISTEN I WAS DRUNK IDEK WHY I DID IT
Kazuha Nakamuraย
SOCCER PLAYER JAKE SIM? THE FRAT BOY JAKE SIM? THE APPOINTED LOSER OF DECELIS SOCCER TEAM? ARE WE THINKING ABOUT THE SAME JAKE SIM HERE.
Meย
STOP YES THAT JAKE SIM. I KNOW
iโm gonna kmsย
Kazuha Nakamuraย
Okay but was it good at least?
You paused, well it was good, but you shook your head remembering who you were talking about here. I mean itโs not like you and Jake were complete strangers, you went to high school with him, so yeah you knew Jake. But imagine the whiplash you got entering college realising you now attended the same school as Jake Sim the scrawny physics nerd, except now he was Jake Sim, star soccer player who grew up and gained some charisma. However, all you could see was teenage prepubescent Jake who used to rant about Einsteinโs law of relativity.ย
Yeah, not happening, you thought to yourself closing your phone as you headed into practise desperately hoping to drown out your memories of this morning with endless classical music and exercises.ย
Jake however, was still sprawled out on his bed even though it had been hours since you left. Face buried into one of his hands while the other scrolled through your Instagram profile, occasionally letting out annoyed sighs before groaning into his hand. How the hell did he even manage to screw this up.
โJake, get up. Iโm starting to actually feel bad for youโ Jay let out at the sight of his friend curled up in agony, watching him with a mixture of sympathy and disappointment painted on his face.
โDude you donโt get it, she RAN.โ Jake cried out loudly sinking even deeper into his bedย
โOkay, Iโm sure it wasnโt that bad. Maybe she just was startled, and like seriously you couldnโt have been that horri-โ
โThe one-night stand isn't the problem, the problem is that it was YN!โย
From what Jake could remember you, L/N Y/N, were basically untouchable in high school. I mean head of the dance club, straight A student, and not to mention you were one of the prettier girls that attended school with him; you were practically on a pedestal. The one chance he had to interact with you when he was 1. Not drunk 2. Not surrounded by his friends giving him an extra boost of confidence, he blew it.ย
โOkay, so it was YN? So what man, I think youโre overthinking thisโ Sunghoon chimed in from the backย
โHey I mean, I think youโre judging the situation way too early dude. If I were you I would see this as an opportunity!โ Heeseung declared as he pranced into Jake's room
Briefly looking up from his phone, Jake shot Heeseung a judgemental glare before asking with a scoff โOkay well, since youโre the self-proclaimed expert here, mind letting me in on what you mean by โopportunityโโ
โOkay listen,โ Heeseung said while sitting on the edge of Jakeโs bed โHere's what youโre gonna do: youโre gonna go up to her, start small talk, then youโre gonna ask her if you guys wanna do something casual-โ
โAre you seriously suggesting I ask a girl to be friends with benefits after she RAN out on meโ Jake screeched throwing his pillow at Heeseung (who thankfully caught it)ย
โHey let me finish!โ He replied tucking the pillow under his arms โYeah ask for something casual, and if she was so embarrassed and humiliated as you claim sheโd reject you outright, but if not you get a casual fling with a cool girl. Whatโs not to love?โย
โMaybe the part where this whole thing is stupid, โ Jake grumbled, adjusting himself to sit upright to face Heeseung โ, and why would I listen to you exactly?โ
โBecause a) as you said I am the expert,โ Heeseung said before tossing the pillow under his arms back at Jake โand b) you genuinely need to gain some experience talking to girls. And this gives: you said experience, no strings attached!โ
Jake leaned back on his headboard sighing to look up at the ceiling. God this was stupid, Heeseung seriously just wanted to make a fool out of him. How much experience did Jake seriously need, couldnโt he do that without this whole thing? I mean he had plenty of other girls to talk to right? Wellโฆwrong. I mean, you couldnโt be that embarrassed, could you? What other chances did he have, hell this was the second person heโd ever slept with since entering college (an astounding fact even to Jake). Was it worth a shot?ย
โFine.โ Jake replied with a sigh. Fuck he was really doing this.
Closing the door behind you, your hands fiddled through your bag trying to find your pastel pink airpods, ready to blast music in your ears after a long chemistry exam. Putting them on, finger hovering over the play button, you were suddenly interrupted by a small tap on your shoulder. Turning around to see the one person you were trying to avoid all week, Jake fucking Sim.
โOh Jake, I didnโt know you took chem?โย
โYeah, I didnโt, well last year I didnโtโฆbut I had to bump up my GPA a bit so I thought chem would be easy enough. But itโs,โ Jake replied looking up and recalling the questions of that harrowing exam he just took โYeah itโs ass.โ
You let out a slight chuckle, well heโs funny at least. โYeah, that test was not my best workโฆโย ย
Jake grinned at your comment, speeding up a bit to match your pace. โHey wanna go grab some coffee?โ His words laced with nervousness โIโll pay! Well, I was the one who suggested it so I really should be paying, shouldnโt Iโฆ Anyway, my treat.โ
And thatโs how you found yourself seated across from Jake sipping an iced americano, legs crossed, looking around awkwardly, in dead silence.ย
Jake had tried to start some small talk but was met with nothing but concise and quick answers from you. Fuck you Lee Heeseung, he mentally cursed. โSo..โ he awkwardly started โHow was your weekend?โย
โI think you know how my weekend went Jakeโ you said in between sipsย
โOh, right.โ Jake said remembering how it was just this Sunday when you booked it out of his apartment. โUh about that-โ
He could barely finish his sentence before you rushed to reply โI thought we werenโt going to bring that upโ
โYeah but-โย
โListen, Jakeโ you let out with a sigh, placing your drink down on the table in front of you โYouโre like, a nice guy and all. But I just really really canโt do relationships right now, like Iโve got a lot going on with ballet- seriously my mom is on my fucking ass about recitalsโฆโ
You realised you were rambling and looked down after briefly pausing โAnyway, youโre seriously great. Iโm just not looking for anything serious right now an-โ
โMe neitherโ Jake cut in nonchalantly while nodding diplomatically and taking a sip of his drink
โYeah, an- wait what?โ
โI mean, Iโm not looking for anything at the moment either. That night was nice, I had funโ Jake explained while fiddling with the paper wrapper of his straw โAnd if you havenโt noticed I kinda donโt have a lot going on with me right nowโย
You took a moment to register what he just said before deadpanning โAre you trying to use me for sex.โย
โWhat no!โ Jake exclaimed a bit louder than he realised, making a few heads turn โUm, no Iโm not. Seriously. Iโm not a douche, Iโm justโฆI donโt know how to really- talk. To women at leastโฆ I was hoping, well I was told, having casual hookups would fix that. Like, exposure therapy, I guess?โย
This man seriously did not just describe hooking up with you as exposure therapy.ย
โYou can totally decline! I was just suggesting it because a friend told me to, oh wait fuck you didnโt want anyone to know. Sorry, Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon knowโฆI seriously didnโt mean to tell them it just slipped out and- yeah sorry. Uh well, Heeseung suggested it soโฆโ Jake rambled on with his hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, only to be met with your blank expression, mouth slightly agape, and iced americano in hand. God your face was practically a human adaptation of the Windows error screen.ย
โUmmmโ you trailed off playing around with the straw in your drink. Well nobodyโs ever asked you to be friends with benefits, so your brain was admittedly still buffering. โDonโt you think itโs a littleโฆweird? I mean weโve known each other since high school, like granted we didnโt talk but- yeah you know? And like Iโve just, never done this before. Like ever.โย
โI mean I havenโt either,โ Jake paused to put down his drink โWorth a shot though right?โย
Jesus Christ were you seriously going to be friends with benefits with the physics nerd? You mentally weighed out the pros and cons of his little proposal. It wasnโt like the last time was bad or anything, you just couldn't shake off the image of sixteen-year-old him at the back of the physics classroom playing with the Newtonโs cradle while your teacher lectured on about waves. Recalling this you looked up at Jake sitting in front of you right now, he still had the same face but his features matured, his body was more built (probably all the training) and you couldnโt deny that even with him nervously picking at his fingernailsโฆhe definitely did grow up well.ย
โIโll-โ you said with a slight sigh โIโll get back to you on it Jake.โ
โYouโll get back to him on it?! What is this a corporate meeting?โ Your roommate Zuha said in between handfuls of chips.
Eyes shifting to the side to snap a dirty glare at her, you sighed in frustration before joining her atop your lofted bed. Kazuha and you were complete opposites: she was arguably way more bold than you and had an impressive list of friends spanning across the three different universities that neighboured Decelis. To be honest meeting her when you were six at ballet lessons might have been the sole reason you were able to get through university with a thankfully active social life. Truly you didnโt think your bond over Ever After High dolls would take you so far; but there you were in your second year of university, lounged across your mattress while she berated you for your lacking conversational skills.
โHey! I was trying to be polite for your information,โ you defended whilst burying your head into your pillowsย
โI mean why not?โ Zuha asked with indifferenceย
โOh I donโt know, maybe because we went to high school together, he was and still is a huge dork, and heโs Jake Sim. Yeah just a thought.โ you snapped back while digging your hands deeper into Kazuhaโs bag of chips
โWell to me those all sound like pros.โ she had reached in to grab a fistful of chips before munching on them between sentences, โPlus whatโs the big deal, you hooked up once why canโt you do it againโ she asked, tugging away the bag from you as it reached near emptiness.ย
God you wished it was that easy. You sometimes envied how little she thought of things.ย
โYeah, I guessโฆโ your hands reach for the ends of your hair, twisting them around your fingertips. โOkay but how do I even get back to him on it?โย
โYeah well your first mistake was responding with that, but like just text him? Weโre not living in the fucking 19th century, sms exists.โ
โYeah okay, am I just supposed to send โHi Jake! So after much consideration, I am now getting back to you on it! And yes I would totally love casually fucking you xoxo yn!!โโ you replied sarcasticallyย
โOkay, you know thatโs not what I mean. If youโve got the general premise down, just send it. Not like youโre opposed to it soโฆโ Zuha said handing you your phone with her Calbee chip dust-covered fingers.ย
Taking the phone and wiping the grime off, you opened your chat with Jake. Typing and retyping over and over again trying to form the perfect message your finger hovered over the send button while you battled your internal warfare.ย
Too immersed in the constant back and forth fogging your mind you failed to stop Zuha from taking the phone from your grasp and sending the message for you.
โKAZUHA NAKAMURA. UNSEND THAT SHIT RIGHT NOWโ you frantically cried out ripping the phone from her hands, you scrambled for the unsend button but were disappointingly greeted with a notification at the top of your screen.ย
Jake Sim (Hookup)
Cool! So this Friday?
What the hell did you just get yourself into
Sure enough, Friday came and you found yourself stretched across Jake Simโs bed dressed in one of his oversized shirts. God, you didnโt think you would be here again. Mindlessly scrolling through Instagram while Jake pulled a grey hoodie over his body before adjusting himself next to you, subtly inviting you to lay your head on his shoulder. (Obviously, you didnโt get the hint)
Putting down your phone to the side, your hands reached to fidget with the seams of his sleeves.ย
โDo you-โ you were cut off by the embarrassingly loud rumble of your stomach.
โOh, are you hungry?โ Jake glanced down, eyes widened and head slightly cocked to the left.ย
โUm, kinda..โ you responded, god wasnโt he supposed to be the awkward one.ย
โDo you want some ramen?โ He said propping himself a bit more before mentally cussing at himself realising the implication of his words โI mean, not in like- that way. Well I guess kinda in that way, we did just-โ
โRamen sounds great!โ you quickly cut in before he could finish his sentence, ripping the comforters off your bodies already heading towards the door.ย
To your surprise, Jake Sim was a pretty good cook. Well, that was a bit of an exaggeration considering it was just Chapaguri and steak, but hell was that one good bowl of Chapaguri. Spooning the noodles into your mouth, Jake placed a cut of steak onto your plate. Weird. That was, thoughtful. Probably a force of habit you reasoned to yourself.ย
โSo um can I ask,โ you paused to wipe your mouth โAm I seriously the only other girl youโve slept with, or is you sleeping with only 1 person before me just a rumour?โ
Jakeโs arm stretched towards the nape of his neck while the other placed another piece of steak onto your plate before answering. โUh, I mean in college, yeah. I havenโt had much luck seeing too many people. Kinda the reason youโre hereโย
โWell I guess thatโs not too surprisingโย
โOh yeah?โ Jake asked tauntingly leaning back into his chair โWhatโs that supposed to mean hm?โ
โIโm just saying Iโm not surprised that the dude who spent his free periods researching Quantum mechanics canโt pull.โ you teased back with a sly smileย
โUh-huh,โ he replied putting another piece of food onto your plate โWell Iโll have you know I managed to hook up with at least like- 2 people in high schoolโย
โYeah and I donโt do ballet.โ you came back snarkilyย
โHey! I can even list them for you if you donโt believe me.โ Jake chuckled slightly while adjusting the collar of his hoodie
โYeah, and I bet it was real hard remembering that list of 2 peopleโ Laughing in response Jake reached for a can of coke before opening it and placing it in front of you.
Again, weird. As you got talking you realised Jake Sim maybe wasnโt as awkward or dorkish as everyone claimed him to be. Okay well partly your fault for believing assumptions and jumping to conclusions, but after the initial nerves wore down he was pretty chill. Which led you to wonder, โHey why donโt you talk to girls? I mean youโre pretty much a natural at this.โย
โOh.โ Jake replied a bit flattered, โWell, I donโt think Iโm a natural, like when I tried to talk with Minyoung after we hooked up it was a mess.โ hands now fiddling with the skin at his fingertips, โI guess with you itโs sorta, comfortable?โย
Your actions came to an instant halt, comfortable? You shook it off thinking it was because you guys knew each other beforehand, yeah definitely that.ย
โSo you did manage to get with one of the gymnastic girls.โ you said trying to divert the topic
โWell not really, she kinda ghosted me after that..โ Jake answered looking down at the marble countertop
โWhy?โย
โWell as you said, I canโt really pullโ you giggled in response while still forking down mouthfuls ofย chapaguriย
โHey, donโt laugh with your mouth full.โ Jake scolded before taking his thumb to wipe the corner of your mouth, an action you once again brushed off to be a force of habit. Still, you couldnโt deny, if you actually did like Jake in that way you wouldโve folded instantly.
He smiled slightly and ruffled your hair before taking your empty bowl and beginning to wash it, weird.
Hooking up with Jake became more natural and common as time went on, it somewhat integrated itself into your routine:
Hook up, go eat, then go about your separate ways.ย
Over time you got to know Jake more and more, past his initially dorky interests you learned a few things about him:ย
He was a huge dog lover - similarly to you - and had a golden retriever named Laylaย
He was surprisingly funny, if he got comfortable with you at leastย
Despite being awkward as fuck, he was way more extroverted than you. He just needed to be around one of his friends for that to shine through.
He wasnโt called a star soccer player for nothing, youโd initially never expected scraggly little Jake Sim to win so many medals and trophies in high school. No wonder he got in with a scholarship.
It wasnโt like Jake told you these things outwardly, but you never failed to catch onto how his eyes had a slight glimmer within them when describing his โbest friendโ who you later found out to be his childhood pet. Or how whenever there was a short silence between you two he took it as an opportunity to crack a small joke. And you knew on a surface level that Jake was a pretty friendly guy, but you just never realised how long his social battery truly lasted; that man had a motor mouth. The soccer thing however was something you always had a slight clue about, in high school most of his lunch breaks and evenings after school would be spent in the field with Jay, Heeseung, and Sunghoon. Back then you assumed he didnโt have anything better to do, so the numerous medals that spanned across the walls of his room were a bit of a shock to you.ย
But itโs not like you cared about Jake like that, you were justโฆobservant.ย
Jake was nice, it was fun being his friend but you didnโt go out of your way to try and hang out with Jake in real life. Really, itโs not like you guys were close like that. Neither of you bothered to try and cross that boundary, that was until today at least.
โHey.โ Jake said, smiling as he sat down in front of you. Your eyes faltered from their usual unbothered gaze, your pupils dilating a bit in shock. Hell, there are around 200 other seats in the athleteโs dining hall, yet he had to sit in front of you.
Maybe your pastel pink Lululemon jacket was the drawing point, probably so bright it made you the first person he noticed making him sit with you out of convenience, at least you would like to tell yourself that. โOh, hi Jake. Uh- donโt you have practice? I mean usually I never see you at the dining hall when I come to eatโ You slowly realised how stalker-ish that sounded โnot like. Iโm tracking your schedule or anything like that. donโt get the wrong ideaโ
Jake let out a breathy laugh in hopes of breaking the awkward tension surrounding the table (he remained unsuccessful) โYeah, uh practice got cancelled. So Iโm here earlier than expected.โ
โCool coolโ you let out nonchalantly. And there you were back to square one, the same awkward tension overwhelming the atmosphere. God how could you be this awkward with a guy you basically had a bi-weekly fuck schedule with. โSo uh, you going to Soobinโs party this weekend? the whole soccer team is gonna be there, including meโ he said the last part in almost a whisper.
โOh uh, I havenโt really thought about it. Kazuha is going, so Iโll probably go withโ You replied still staring down at your measly plate of japchae, barely touched. โUh I think I should go study-โ you frantically said in an exasperated sigh in hopes to remove herself from any more unwanted conversation starters you would have to pull out of her ass.
โBut you havenโt even touched your food?โ Jake said clearly not getting the hint. But also he was genuinely worried, I mean yeah typically soccer players and ballerinas' diets are obviously different with their portion sizes, but he still took health very seriously. โIโm not that hungry anyway.โ you said slowly getting up to leave
โWait, do you do this often? skip meals?โ Jake asked, his eyes glazed over with a concerned expression, one you hadnโt seen before.
โOh I mean, most times it's not intentional, I get busy with practiceโ
โHold onโ Jake muttered before getting up and heading outside. Leaving you haphazardly standing up holding your plate of food. You sat down again poking at the unfinished scraps of carrots, โThis man cannot take a hintโ you muttered.ย
Jake then returned pocky and Pocari sweat in hand. โUh here, itโs good for electrolytesโ he said while handing you the bottle โOh and, eat this after practice or something, you need carbs and sugarโ. Slightly taken aback you slowly took both items in hand, a slight warmth forming in the pits of your stomach. โoh you didnโt really have to-โ
โI wanted to.โ Jake replied cutting you off, suddenly embarrassed at his boldness he absently reached to the nape of his neck (a habit you noticed he did when he was flustered) โUh anyways, Iโve gotta go to office hours now. But try not to skip meals, itโs not that good for you, youโre an athlete so..โ he trailed off mumbling the last bits to himself, all while looking down to the floor. The weird tension in the air was still there but, somehow it was a little more bearable, well for you at least. โThanks, uh Iโll pay you back-โ
โDonโt bother!โ he scrambled to say shooting his head up, pushing your approaching hand back. Fuck that reply was way too quick. โUh, itโs on me! Donโt worry about it really.โ slowly backing away he failed to notice how his legs seemed to trample over each other almost knocking himself down. He (thankfully) regained his balance โBye YN!โ
Blinking in what you think is a mixture of disbelief, amusement, and confusion you managed to mutter out a small โThank youโ
Safe to say that interaction left you both pretty embarrassed.
Most times you went to Jake's house it usually ended in lighthearted conversations over a plate of food. However, some nights were just spent as the two of you lay in his bed looking up at his ceiling talking about everything and anything; these were the nights you found yourself enjoying the most. Tonight luckily happened to be one of them.ย
โHey, Iโve been meaning to ask,โ Jake said before settling down next to you โHave you seriously never had a friend with benefits before?โย
โHm? Why do you ask?โ you said before moving to lay between Jakeโs legs, head resting upon his thigh.ย
โAh you know, Just curiousโ He replied looking down at you with a slight smile. Did his eyes always look that pretty?
โNo actually, I wasnโt really one for keeping a casual relationship with one person for a long time. I got bored too quickly, not that Iโm bored of you. I did have a lot of hookups though, those were a bit more funโ you replied; a small smile formed across your face while recalling nostalgic high school memories.ย
โThatโs interestingโฆโ you noticed a slight hesitation lingering in his words.ย
โWhy dโyou sound so confused huhโ Gently nudging his thigh you laughed.ย
โNothing nothing! I just, you know, didnโt really expect that from you. I donโt know in high school you were kinda- perfect? Like the captain of the dance team, student council secretary, and straight-A student; not to mention you were practically already on the road to Decelis with a scholarship. I didnโt really expect you toโฆโ
โWhat, be a whore?โ you butted in jokinglyย
Jakeโs hand reached out to run through your hair, grinning softly before responding โYou know thatโs not what I meant.โย
Chuckling in response your hands reached to fiddle with the ends of your hair. โKidding, I get what you mean though. I - well my mom - tried hard to keep up the good girl act. But I was a teenager with the whole house to myself and a huge lack of self-discipline soโฆyeahโ
โWas your mom never really there orโฆโ Jake asked looping your hair around his fingers, shit was that too invasive?
Thankfully you responded whilst twiddling with the hem of your (well his) t-shirt. โUh, no not really, I guess. Well, she was there, but just always workingโ Jesus why were you telling him this shit, not like you wanted to it was all just kinda- spilling out. โI mean I donโt hold it against her, itโs literally the reason I got to do ballet and attend this school in the first placeโ
โBut?โ Jake asked expectantly. Fuck why was he asking you this shit? Did he seriously think trauma dumping would fill the void of intimacy you two shared?ย
โNo I mean there isnโt really a but- well there kinda is. I don't know, it gets kinda lonelyโฆonly child and all. But I know she did it all for my own good, she knows what's best for meโ the last part coming out a bit strained, โI just was kinda on my own for a while I guessโฆ thatโs probably why she signed me up for ballet classes when I was youngerโ
โOh, she was the one who signed you up?โ
โYeah, she was, actually!โ voice slightly perking up as you recalled fond memories of six year old you lacing up your first ballet flats, โWhen I was younger I loved dancing so ballet kinda came naturally to me I guess, but yeah ballet was really funโย
โWas?โ Jake inquired curiously, his head tilting down to meet his glossy eyes with yours.ย
โOh well, I guess it is still kinda fun- but like as I got better at it there seemed to be more expectations from people. It gets kinda stressful you knowโ you replied with a slight chuckle, hands picking at the skin on your fingers. โItโs partly my fault for not wanting to practise so much anymore, but sometimes it's hard not to notice every little mistake I make when dancing.โ
โWell,โ Jake began before taking your hand in his and lacing your fingers together โ, I think youโre doing just fine. Trust me Iโve never seen a better dancer than you, like youโre seriously amazingโ
You giggled slightly while staring at his hand intertwined with yours. Funny, you didnโt think heโd notice that.
โYou sure youโre not lying about the whole bitchless thing? Because this,โ you said while gesturing to his hand holding yours โ, totally not bitchless behaviourโย
โHey, I never said I was bitchless! Just no girlfriend you know.โ Jake laughed nervously , becoming all too aware of his actions. He slowly lets go of your hand. A slight blush formed across his face before he cleared his throat to ask โSo what about you, no boyfriend?โย
โWell, I did have one or two. But as I said, I get bored easilyโ you answered, still twiddling the hem of your shirt โI dumped both of them, not like there was anything wrong with the relationship- I just kinda have this bad habit of running from things when I notice something just slightly goes wrong. Yeah, itโs stupid really I donโt know why I do it.โ Trailing off you slowly became aware that you were crossing the imaginary line you established between you and Jake. Wait, what the fuck were you saying? Why were you telling him this? You didnโt tell anyone this shit. No way Jake Sim, the dude who you were casually hooking up with, was going to be the first person you let in on your issues. Nah, not happening.ย
โUm anyway! Maybe I should get going now, you have practice anyways.โ you sighed, frantically getting up and grabbing your clothes.ย
โOh uh, yeah sureโฆโ Jake said slightly startled, his hand reaching for the back of his neck and scratching it while he tried to look the other way as you changed in front of him (not like his head was in between your thighs a few seconds ago)
He walked you out to the doorway of his apartment, keeping a somewhat awkward distance between you guys as he waved while watching you walk out.ย
โBye!โ he called out delayed, giving you a slight jump.ย
โOh, bye!โ you said awkwardly facing him, immediately turning back around toย speed walk down the hallway.
For some reason even though you had already left he couldnโt get rid of this slight buzz in his stomach, his heart racing ever so slightly while he felt his cheeks heat up. Fuck Iโm an idiot, Jake sighed to himself.
โWhat do you think? Too much?โ you asked Kazuha whilst standing in front of her to show off your outfit. You were trying to dress out of your comfort zone by switching up your usual white tank and low-waisted jeans combo to a black tube top paired with a leather miniskirt.ย
โYou look the same YN.โ your roommate replied stoically โAnd what are you so nervous for anyways? What, is it because Jake is picking you up?โ she added between snickers.ย
โWhat no!โ you rushed to respond โAnd might I remind you that the only reason heโs picking me up is because you ditched on me last minute.โย
โHeyyy, I told you I was sorry! But Yunjin wonโt be in Korea for much longer and I promised to have a sleepover with her before she leaves!โ Kazuha whined in a pout โPromise, next time I get invited to a party youโre number 1 on my waitlist. I swearโย
โYeah, Iโm pretty sure Iโm the only one on that waitlist right now.โ you muttered before reaching for your phone after noticing a notification popping up on your screen.ย
Jake Sim (Hookup)
Hey Iโm waiting outside btw! Also, I brought a jacket just in case you were cold but I realised you might bring your own so uh
Jake Sim (Hookup)
donโt bring a jacket lmao
You smiled to yourself slightly after reading that, to which your roommate seemed to catch.
โOh lover boy here already hm?โ she teased in a playful tone. โEw god donโt call him that.โ you deadpanned before heading out the door.ย
Now in all honesty you were perfectly fine with going to the party yourself, Soobinโs apartment happened to be a 15-minute walk away from campus and itโs not like the area was relatively unsafe. However, Jake insisted that he pick you up and drop you off, saying something along the lines of it weighing down on his conscience. You canโt say you werenโt thankful to see him jacket in hand and waiting for you in front of the doors to your dorm after you were unpleasantly greeted by the bitter wind blowing in your face. Totally just grateful for the jacket, no other reason.ย
The walk there was filled with the usual lighthearted jokes and updates on your days, nothing new. You grew to truly enjoy these moments with just you and him, it somewhat felt like it was just the two of you and time stopped. It was nice, you never had someone to listen to you the way he did. However, the peaceful moment shared between you two vanished the minute you stepped into Soobinโs apartment. For a while you forgot that Jake Sim, though being called a dork by half the campus, was still a frat boy and admittedly pretty popular. So imagine the whiplash you got when he was immediately dragged away by Jay, Yuna, and Soobin before he could even say goodbye to you. Not like you cared though, you had plenty of other friends.
A couple of hours had passed and the โother friendsโ in question seemed to disappear one by one as the night went on. Which is how you winded up in Soobinโs living room on the couch, beer in hand whilst scrolling through TikTok. That was before you heard someone clear their throat. Looking up you were met with Lee Heeseung standing in front of you, head cocked slightly to the side.ย
โHey YN, mind if I sit?โ he didnโt really wait for your response before plopping himself right next to you.
โOh, hey Heeseungโ you muttered, eyes not leaving your phone. You had talked to Heeseung a couple of times before when you went to meet up with Jake, but you wouldnโt really consider yourself besties with the guy who was the sole reason Jake had even offered to hook up with you.ย
โWhatโs up, are you bored? I assume you didnโt come here to scroll TikTok alone.โ He joked with a quick chuckle.ย
โYeah well I would leave but Jake insisted on taking me back home so it feels kinda rude to leave without him. And heโs obviously very,โ you shot your head up to glare at the sight of Jake chatting it up with Jay, Yuna, and Ryujin. What happened to the whole โbad at talking to girlsโ thing now huh? You scoffed before completing your sentence with a grimace โPreoccupied.โ
Heeseung seemed to catch onto your change of tone as the next thing he said was, โDonโt worry Jakeโs normally just chatty like this when heโs got one of us around, he really really canโt talk to girls otherwise. Well, obviously not you though, actually he canโt shut up about you.โย
Your head perked up at Heeseung's comment โWhat do you mean?โย
โI mean, the guy canโt stop talking about you even when youโre gone. Like telling us about how cool your recitals looked, your favourite foods, what you guys did that day, hell he brings you into practically anything itโs kinda annoying. โOh YN loves that drinkโ โOh can you buy one for YN too?โ โHey, this is YNโs favourite song!โ โHey donโt touch that, it's for YNโโ Heeseung said in a mocking tone, his hands coming up to mimic small puppets pretending to be Jake.
โReally? Youโre probably exaggerating, me and Jake arenโt even that close.โ you commented
โTrust me YN, you donโt live with that guy. I feel like Iโm even in on your whole friends-with-benefits situation by how much I know about you. Seriously I think he's obsessed-โย
โWhatโcha guys talking about!โ you were too engrossed in your conversation you hadnโt noticed that Jake had left Jay and his friends to come join you.ย
You shot a glare at him before tilting your head down at your drink โOh you know, just keeping myself entertainedโ you replied before whipping your head up โSince you were obviously, pretty busy.โ
Before Jake could defend himself, Soobin drunkenly called out from the kitchen โHey guys! Who wants to play spin the bottle!โ his words slurred as he held up an empty beer can.ย
Great, drunk college students and spin the bottle, what could go wrong?ย
Hesitantly you and Jake made your way to the circle formed on the floor sitting across from each other while everyone else gathered in.
โOkay, so the rules are: you kiss or you drink. Three shots worth of soju may I mention! Who wants to go first?โ Soobin asked gesturing to the bottle
โOooh me me me!โ Yuna replied eagerly before placing the bottle down and spinning it, landing on Jisung. One after the other everyone took turns spinning the bottle whilst the rest of the crowd let out shouts and claps of encouragement. You frankly thought this whole thing was stupid. I mean, spin the bottle? What was this a cheesy highschool movie? The bottle eventually reached Karina, she took it in hand and spun it vigorously.
Karina, god how could you even begin to describe Karina? Yoo Karina was top of her class in rhythmic gymnastics, led the student body org, and not to mention was absolutely drop. dead. gorgeous. You concluded in your mind that anyone who got to kiss that woman would be the luckiest person on earth, but that was before the bottle landed on Jake.ย
โWell pucker up loserโ Karina said before moving towards Jake to grab his face and press her lips onto his. You tried to cheer and clap with the rest of the group but you couldnโt ignore the dreadful feeling of your heart dropping to the floor. Pulling away from Karina, you couldnโt brush off how Jakeโs eyes immediately came into contact with yours causing your pupils to dilate slightly before you shot your head down to the ground.ย
Why the hell did you even care this much, wake up YN! Itโs Jake, so he kissed another girl, who cares? You guys arenโt even exclusive, pull yourself together! You quickly shook off the awful feeling in the pit of your stomach and joined in with the others chanting โSpin, spin, spin!โ as Jake whirled the bottle around with a quick flick of the wrist.
The bottle seemed to spin in slow motion before coming to a reaching its delayed halt and pointing directly at you. Oh fuck.ย
You braced yourself for the awkward aftermath of the kiss you were bound to face later tonight, god how were you even supposed to face Jake after this? I mean yeah you guys had sex, but you would argue kissing is far more intimate. Your gaze lingered on jake and you watched how his eyes widened in anticipation, his hand again reaching to the nape of his neck absently while the other grabbed the red solo cup and-
Wait what, Jake was taking the drink?
Let it be known that Jake Sim had an infamous reputation of never drinking at parties, for a while people thought he was heavily religious; until it was revealed by sunghoon that in highschool Jake was unexpectedly a huge party animal and no one could possibly keep him away from a beer. Getting into college, he apparently tried to drop the heavy drinking and decided to take his athlete career more seriously. If you were to take Jake's drink at a party you would find either 1 of 3 things: coke zero, a mixture of random fruit juices from a punch bowl that 80% of the party did not touch, or kombucha (surprising to say the least). Yet there he was, drinking about 3 shots worth of soju all in one go. All to avoid kissing you. great.
A pit formed in your stomach as the loud chants seemed to die down, somehow this made you feel like the world's biggest loser. Was kissing you that bad? Hell he was in between your thighs half the time but he would rather drink than kiss you? Why didnโt he kiss you? Why did you want him to kiss you?
Jake let out a slight groan after downing the drink whole, the circle erupted into laughs and whoas but he could only focus on the one person who hadnโt said anything, the one person who was staring straight at him in what Jake could only assume was a mixture of disbelief and anger. Fuck, this totally did not go to plan. Why was she mad? I mean you didnโt say you were mad, but the look in your eyes somewhat gave it away. Jake thought the last thing you wanted to do was kiss him, I mean this whole time you would preach about how you guys were strictly casual and how you wanted nothing to do with him romantically. Jake thought he would save you the trouble, and partly save himself from the prolonged silences on the walk back to your dorm. Itโs not like he didnโt benefit from this too I mean, Jake totally could go without kissing you. Itโs not like it was a piece of intimacy your โrelationshipโ lacked, not like it was the one thing heโd been longing for. Yep, totally not.ย
You broke the gaze abruptly when you soon realised how long youโd been staring. Fuck did he notice? He definitely did. Your eyes now fixated on the floor while he stared off awkwardly to the side.
โYour turn YN!โ Yuna cheerfully said handing her the bottle, her breath reeked of alcohol it was making you dizzy.
โUh I think Iโll skip, Iโve had enough drinks for tonightโ you replied, accompanied by a nervous chuckle. God, why was the room suddenly spinning? โAs a matter of fact,โ you quickly got up from your position slowly moving away from the circle, โI think I need to use the bathroom, Iโll sit out this round, you guys can continue thoughโ
โOkay!โ Yuna responded, obviously she was too wasted to notice the hesitation lingering in your voice.
You quickly stole a glance at the group behind, more so at the man you were sitting across from a minute ago. Lo and behold, Jake was laughing hazily and chanting encouragements with the others as Ryujin and Hyunjin messily made out. His eyes had a shine which was all too familiar to you, his grin was one you recognised countless times before, and to your dismay: he was completely unaffected by the whole situation.
Great, so he couldnโt give less of a fuck. You thought to yourself. Normally this would be a relief to you, I mean you said yourself you wanted something casual, but if that was the case why did you feel so embarrassingly hollow and empty inside?
You groggily stumbled away from the corner of the room and headed over to the kitchen, maybe a drink would drown out the noises of them chanting โKiss kiss kissโ Pft, what are they grade schoolers? You snatched a red solo cup and started pouring whatever alcohol was closest in reach, vodka, tequila, soju, beer, you did not give a fuck. You downed the drink whole, slightly gasping for air as you polished it off. Grabbing for another bottle, your hands seemed to meet another. Looking up to see who had a shared interest inโฆ absolut vodka? God you hated that shit, but well right now it seemed tolerable, however you were greeted by the disappointing sight of none other than: Seunghan.
God what was Seunghan doing here, he didnโt even fucking go here. To give some context, Seunghan happened to be your last boyfriend; a senior you used to date who at the time was a huge ego boost to you since you were a year younger. But you inevitably broke up with him before he left for university, even though you promised you would try and make things work long distance. Hell who were you kidding, staying with a highschool senior as a college freshman? Who would want to do that? The last excuse you could spit back at his pathetic face while ending things was โYou arenโt even a good fuckโ safe to say that bruised his ego a bit.
โHey YNโ he looked at you with an expression you can only make out as: egoistic. You wanted to smack that smug grin off his face, but you werenโt really the one with the upper hand here. I mean who wouldnโt smirk at the sight of their highschool ex absolutely fucking hammered at a college party.
โHiโ you replied coldly, his grip on the alcohol bottle slightly loosened, which you took as an opportunity to snatch out of his hand and pour yourself another drink (probably double of what you were originally planning to pour)
โSo,โ He paused for a second waiting for you to finish drinking โHow's it going, what are you doing here?โ
โI kinda go here.โ you said in between sips โand shouldnโt I be asking you that, you donโt even go to Decelis.โ
โWell someoneโs hostileโ he let out a chuckle, face still smug โAh yeah, my friend Soobin, actually invited me. Swim team captain, ring a bell?โ
โThat's nice Seunghanโ your face obviously painted that you didnโt really think so. You started to slowly make your way to the bathroom, not knowing how much longer you could stand being in the same proximity of this asshole.
โIs that it?โ Seunghan called out expectantly. What the hell did this man want jesus. You could feel your anger just about boiling over, that and the 4 cups of alcohol in your system just about tipped you over the edgeโ
โWhat the hell do you want, Seunghan? An apology? You see me after what 2 years and expect to coax an apology out of me? Yeah not happening. I donโt even know what youโre doing here because clearly last time I checked you didnโt go to Decelis. So yeah, I donโt really know what you want from me but if it's an apology or something, sorry to disappoint.โ
โWoah woah, calm down thereโ Seunghan said, arms up seeming to gesture he meant no harm, the smirk on his face displayed otherwise.
You were ready to spit out another insult at him, maybe add a punch into the mixture, until a pair of hands gently grabbed your shoulder. You whipped your head backwards to see Jake smiling awkwardly at Seunghan and scratching the back of his head nervously. โSorry about that, she's kinda drunk right now so I think weโll get going!โ
You want to retort back that you aren't, but before doing so Seunghan cuts you off โwho are you again.โย
Instead of the smug grin that adorned his face earlier, a weirdly serious expression was now plastered across him. Weird. Was he trying to assert dominance or something? You giggled to yourself a bit at the idea, slowly looking up at Jake to see what his response was. Maybe they would have a standoff, battle it out like in the movies. Instead a grin was still shining on his face, except something was off. His gaze looked harsher, juxtaposing the warm smile on the lower half of his face. Something behind his eyes signalled that he wasnโt going to take any bullshit, funny you thought. You weren't used to seeing this side of Jake, it was an amusing sight to say the least.
โJake her,โ he hesitated for a second โboyfriend. But I donโt think that matters really, I've gotta get YN home nowโ He quickly grabbed your wrist to lead you away and out the door, seemingly a bit too quick that it had you stumbling over your steps, or maybe that was the alcohol talking.
โWoww, look at that you can actually stick up for yourself! You know that was kinda funny, what were you trying to assert dominance or something? Thanks for saying you were my boyfriend though, god I donโt think he would be able to leave me alone otherwiseโ you said in between chuckles whilst shutting the door behind you, but jake remained silent. Weird, was he just drunk too?ย
Itโs not like you weren't used to the silence, hell itโs what took up most of your conversations (well lack of conversation more like). You remained quiet until the both of you got back to your dorm, you were weirdly too intimidated to say anything. Not intimidated by him, god no. More so the situation, youโd been used to the awkward silence, the post sex silences, the comfortable silences, but this was a different silence, one you werenโt really sure how to react towards. Once in your dorm, Jake finally said something to break the tension.
โWho was that guy?โ he asked, gaze averted down to the floor and hand absently reaching for the nape of his neck, there he goes again you think. โSeunghan,โ you said while pulling over your tube top to change into an oversized shirt, which you realised was one you stole from Jake a while back โ, just some ass I dated in highschool, doesnโt really matter.โ
Jake's gaze was still stuck on the dorm carpet, his hand now picking at his cuticles. โWas he bothering you? I mean I couldnโt really tell but you looked uncomfortable, so likeโฆyeah I donโt knowโ
You chuckled, cute you think. Wait fuck did you really just find what he did cute. Did you just fucking giggle. A flustered blush seems to form across your face whilst thinking of your actions. Get a grip YN itโs jake fucking sim, hes an awkward mess, an awkward mess youโre casually fucking. You canโt be doing this.
โUh, I mean kinda. I was going to punch him so you probably saved me the collateral. Thanks though, it was niceโ you said, tucking away your boots still facing away from him; embarrassed at the thought of you being the least bit flustered over his actions.
โAhโฆโ Jake trailed off. Fuck what was he meant to say now, well he knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to ask if it was weird that he called himself her boyfriend, but you didnโt seem to care so it would be weird if he brought it up now. I mean, not like he cared. a little white lie to save you some trouble, no biggie.
โAre you down to..โ you asked nonchalantly, turning your head around to face him. He adorned his typical lost expression, god he was really clueless.
โYou know, fuck.โ you assumed it was the alcohol in your system talking, you were clearly very tipsy, that plus your pent up frustration from tonight was the perfect mixture for a good hookup. Or maybe you were just plain old horny, probably the case you thought to yourself. Definitely wasnโt the way Jake's hair was a perfect fluffy mess, or how his face seemed to have a slight glow to it (probably the drinks), or his eyes that were weirdly more iridescent than usual, yeah totally not that.
Jake's eyes widened a bit, taken aback by the request but definitely not surprised. โYN youโre drunk,โ he said with a sigh, grabbing your shoulders and sitting you down on the edge of your mattress, โI'd love to but, maybe next time?โ he said with a gentle grin, his dimples slightly poking out.
fuck was he leaving already? Before he could go any further you quickly grabbed his wrist. Jake, startled, looked back at you like a deer in headlights. Only to be met with an equally as shocked gaze, shit all this alcohol was making your body move before you could even think.
โUh, can you justโฆโ you wince a bit at the thought of what would come out next, โstay. Just until I fall asleep, I feel kindaโฆlonely?โ The end came out in a mumble as your eyes laid fixated on the floor. A blush formed across Jake's face, but he quickly snapped himself out of whatever haze he was in. Sheโs drunk jake. It doesn't mean anything.
He plastered on the gentle grin that adorned his face earlier, smiling at her with endearment. โAlright, uhm just scoot over a bitโ
Moving awkwardly to the side to make room for Jake on the bed he shortly joined you, adjusting himself next to you moving your head to atop his arm while the other pulled you in closer allowing him to rest his chin on top of your hair. Everything about this moment felt much too intimate to be shared between two people who were just casually fucking. You could feel your heartbeat slightly quicken and your breath hitching in your throat. However as time passed on you began to feel yourself slowly relax into Jakeโs touch, allowing yourself to enjoy the feeling of his hand combing through your hair whilst the other reached to trace circles along the small of your back. His warmth next to you felt all too natural, like this was meant to be. Like you werenโt just two strangers who decided to hook up, like you two were everything and more.
โSometimes I wish this was realโ you sighed out, clearly letting the liquor in your system do the talking
โDonโt know how hammered you got but youโre definitely not dreaming right now YN.โ Jake said in a low chuckle. Fuck you could listen to his laugh for ages.ย
โNot this, I mean us.โย
โOh.โ Jake could feel his body go stiff as heat rushed up to his cheeks. He knew you were drunk, but some part of him hoped this was sober you.ย
โYouโre too sweet for me sometimes you know? Makes me wish you werenโt my friend and my boyfriend instead, then again donโt think Iโm ready for that either. Well sometimes you make me feel like Iโm ready, I donโt know, it's weird. Being with you feels soโฆnatural? Like Iโve known you since we were kids- I guess we kinda have known each other for a while, makes me regret not talking to you enough in highschool. You were always pretty cute despite being a dorkโ rambling on you nuzzled your head closer to his chest. Fuck Jake was practically begging you couldnโt hear the intense racing of his heart.ย
โHow much did you drink YN?โ he stuttered out
โOh you know, just enough to make me forget everything about that party. Stupid Seunghan ruined my night. You know when you called yourself my boyfriend, yeah I really liked that, some part of me hoped you meant it. I guess I like you a little more than I expected, super stupid rightโฆโ you said trailing off as you fell further into your slumber; words slurred as a mixture of drunkenness and exhaustion took over your body.
โYou like me?โ Jake asked stunned, after garnering no response he tilted his head down slightly to face you. Your face looked so peaceful sleeping he didnโt have the heart to wake you up. How cute, he thought to himself.
โGoodnight YN.โ he whispered before pulling you closer to him and dozing off himself.ย
As the sun rose, beams of light made its way through the curtains to shine brightly on your face rudely waking you up. You slowly opened your heavy eyelids before stretching out your arms, only to be met with the shocking sight of Jake passed out next to you.ย
Jolting up immediately, you had to do a double take to make sure you werenโt seeing things. Unfortunately this wasnโt a dream and you really did wake up next to Jake Sim, this being the second time youโve done this with no recollection of what happened the night before. Frantically you tried to recall all the events that happened after Seunghan approached you; slowly but surely everything from last night rushed back to you in an instant, including your drunken confession to Jake.ย
Fuck fuck fuck FUCK. What the hell was your issue? Why would you say all that? Jesus you seriously needed to stop drinking, you always ended up in Jakeโs bed hungover. God could he have remembered anything that happened last night, he couldn't have right? He was probably drunk too, fuck you hoped he was drunk.ย
โYN, youโre up already?โ Jake said as his hand groggily rubbed his eyes, the other reaching over to your wrist.ย
โOh uh yeah!โ you replied, face flushed with embarrassment before you quickly snapped your hand away from his touch โHey this is weird but did I happen to say anything weird last night, I was like really drunk.โ You winced expecting him to answer with a harsh reminder of your drunken words but instead he only uttered a small โNope, not anything out of the ordinaryโ
Sighing in relief you let out a small thank god before getting up to go get dressed, Jake shortly following you like a lost puppy. Still yawning out and half asleep he groaned out a small โHey, what time is it, by the way?โย
โOh um,โ you quickly grabbed your phone to check โ9:30.โ
Jakes seemed to immediately wake up, shouting โOh fuck, Iโm late!โ He quickly grabbed his belongings before rushing out the door, before haphazardly rushing back in quickly to tell you โUhm if you need Tylenol let me know Iโll go pick it up for you, bye YN gotta go!โย
Despite being in a rush, Jake was always so attentive towards you, something you were always grateful for; another habit you grew to love about him.ย
โHe's so sweetโ you whispered under your breath to yourself before snapping your head up to face yourself in the mirror. Splashing water on yourself you pointed at your reflection before reminding yourself how badly this would end if you kept going on with this little crush.ย
You do not like Jake Sim. You will not like Jake Sim.ย
Days passed and after that night it was safe to say things got pretty awkward between you and Jake. You were in desperate hopes of avoiding him any chance you got, that of course was a lost cause as you guys still were hooking up every other week. However, you made it your mission to not interact with him outside of his apartment, not in classes, not in the gym, not at parties, nowhere. This seemed to be your brain's deluded way of trying to help you get over your crush on him.ย
Jake on the other hand had a sense of why you were avoiding him, the whole drunken confession probably didnโt sit right with you. Jake didnโt really want to push it and force his way into your life if you werenโt comfortable, even though he desperately missed the days you spent every second together like best friends, he knew he wasnโt in a position to be complaining. But as time went on your missing presence began to eat away at Jakeโs mind, he couldnโt take it anymore.ย
Which is how he ended up rushing to move seats over to sit next to you when you entered the chemistry classroom.ย
โHey YN.โ
โOh, Jake hiโฆโ
โYou ready for todayโs presentation?โ he asked after noticing you diligently reading over your flashcards.
โOh god no, Iโm cooked.โ you replied with a nervous laugh.ย
โDonโt worry Iโm sure youโll do great, you always do.โ Jake reassured with a warm smile. How did he always manage to say the right things?ย
You flashed him a quick smile before whispering โThank you.โ
Sure enough a few minutes later you found yourself in front of the three hundred students in that lecture room trying not to stumble over your words as you presented about Electrochemistry. Everything was going fine at first, not to toot your own horn but you were pretty much guaranteed an easy A for this project. That was all until it came crumbling down. You stopped dead in your tracks as you felt a familiar warm feeling gathering between your thighs. Fuck, did you just get your period?ย
โAnd u-uh, as I was sayingโฆโ you tried to continue the presentation and ignore the fact that your period was looming over you like the grim reaper, threatening to drip down your legs and publicly embarrass yourself in front of the whole class.ย
The easy A you were so sure about now seemed out of reach as a lump formed in your throat while you stuttered with tears threatening to spill over your eyes. Quickly finishing up your half assed paragraph on Faradayโs law you bolted out the classroom the moment you were excused back to your seat.ย
Rushing down the hall into the bathroom to clean yourself up, you were frustratingly met with the sight of blood stained jeans. Trying to pull down your shirt to hastily cover up the stain was no use, god out of all days to not bring an extra pad. Why did it have to be today?ย
Sighing in agony you decided it would be a good idea to just head home instead of returning to class, hell youโd embarrassed yourself enough after that how could you even walk back into the lecture hall after that mess?ย
Leaving the backroom with your head down and hand searching your bag hoping a spare pad would manage to appear out of thin air, you failed to notice Jake standing right in front of you (well that was until you bumped into him).
โYN, you okay?โ his eyes graced with concern, oh so heโs still attentive as ever it seems. โWas it your presentation? I thought it was great-โ
โI got my period.โ you blurt out in a rush at the same time, eyes still stuck on the ground as you didnโt have the guts to face him right now โand like, yeah it's a mess soโฆI kinda just want to get home and change.โ you finished with a frustrated sigh.ย
โAh I seeโ Jake replied before looking down to notice the dark patch on your jeans.ย
Before you could go any further he wordlessly stripped off his hoodie before wrapping it around your waist. No words were spoken between you two but the tension arguably spoke much louder than words ever could.ย
โIโll come get it back later okay? Donโt worry about itโ he said before knotting it a final time around your waist to secure it in place.ย
โOh, thank you Jakeโฆโ you mumbledย
โHey YN.โ he started, making you finally whip your head up to meet his eyes. His face detailed with hesitation, mouth slightly agape, eyes glossed over with doubt and hand again reaching for the nape of his neck nervously, โum, sorry itโs nothing actually- just uh, donโt be a stranger you know?โ he continued with a slight shrug. So he did notice you distancing yourself.ย
โOh,โ you stuttered, not really sure of what to reply with โalrightโฆโ
And with that you made your way back to the dorm, uncertainty lingering in the air around you following its way back to your dorm. Sprawling across your mattress you stared up at the ceiling lost in thought. This wasnโt going to end well.ย
โYN you keep doing this!โ your dance teacher snapped before banging a ruler on the metal bar in front of her. You flinched slightly as the loud bang rang through your ears before going to pause the music.ย
โHow many times do I have to remind you?โ she let out in an exasperated sigh, fingers reaching up to pinch the bridge of her nose, โyour legs arenโt straight and your feet arenโt pointed either! These are basic things even beginners could get, I expect more from you! What would your mother think, hm? She invested all this money in you just for you to fall short of your abilities. Youโre my top student, you cannot be performing like this when the recital is just a few months away! Pull yourself together before I choose another person to take your place, lesson dismissed.โ she bellowed out before storming out the classroom. Leaving you collapsed on the ground, face flushed with disappointment as you stared at your dishevelled reflection in the mirror.ย
Fuck she was right, what were you doing? You should be better than this, why werenโt you improving? God your mom spent so much time and money on this and you were just letting her down, you couldnโt do anything right. You were becoming a bigger failure than you realised and you didnโt know how to stop it. How were you meant to be the perfect ballerina when you didnโt even know how to be the perfect daughter? You knew you were better than this but why couldnโt you live up to it. Why did you keep messing up?
Slowly tears began pouring out your eyes before the practice room was practically engulfed in your sobs. You however stopped your crying when you noticed the door crack open.ย
โYN?โ Jake murmured out with a worried look painted across his face, โwhat happened, whatโs wrong?โ he asked while rushing over to your side.ย
โOh Jake, god please donโt look Iโm a mess right nowโ quickly you tried to wipe your tears and nervously laugh before Jake stopped you and took your hands in his.ย
โYN, honestly I couldnโt care less about how you look right now. Whatโs wrong? Why are you crying hm?โ His face had the same serious gaze from the party when he confronted Seunghan, โItโs okay, you can tell me.โ
Hearing that you finally broke down sobbing as he pulled you in closer to his chest, hand running through your hair while whispering small words of comfort. โJake I canโt do this anymore, I keep messing up in everything I do! I donโt know why I canโt just be the person everyone wants me to be, Iโm a failure.โ you cried out between sobs.
โHey hey donโt say that, look at me.โ he gently took your face in his hands before tilting it up to meet his gaze, โOkay so maybe youโre not the person everyone wants you to be, and hey maybe you arenโt perfect-โ
โNot helping.โ you deadpannedย
โYeah well, I wasnโt done. Point is youโre not that but, you're YN. Youโre exactly who you need to be right now, and youโre doing your best. Maybe that isnโt perfect but hey nobodyโs perfect, you just keep such high standards for yourself you can never get a chance to breathe. Itโs okay to make a few mistakes here and there, we all do, weโre only human. If it means anything, in my eyes youโre doing everything right. Youโre perfect, okay YN?โย
This only made you sob harder into his chest. Jake wasnโt complaining though, he only brought you closer and tightened his grip around you. Hands still running through your hair to lull you back into a relaxed state.ย
After finally calming down you wiped the remnants of tears on your face before loosening yourself from Jakeโs embrace. Awkwardly laughing before asking โUhm, why did you come here in the first place again?โ
โOh right that. I needed to get my hoodie back and Zuha said youโd be here, didnโt really expect to see you crying all alone thoughโ he commented with a quick chuckleย
โOh shit yeah,โ you said before reaching over to your bag to try and find his hoodie, Jake however grabbed your wrist to stop you, โNever mind that okay YN? You had a pretty rough day, letโs just get you back to your dorm alright?โย
โBut your hoodie-โ
โAnd up we go!โ he exclaimed before lifting you up by the arms and pushing you to get out of that practice room.ย
The walk back to your dorm was filled with Jake endlessly checking up on you, asking โAre you sure youโre okayโ every five minutes. You reassured him time after time that you seriously were fine before finally losing patience and snapping โJake Sim. If you donโt stop, I will actually not be okay.โย
โOkay okay! Just checking!โ he said before whipping his arms up to feign in defeat.ย
Reaching your dorm, you awkwardly stood at the doorway waiting for Jake to leave and bid you goodbye but instead he just sorta awkwardly stood there staring at you.
โYes?โ
โOh um just- call me? If you ever need someone to talk to, you know?โ
โThanks Jake, but Iโm not really looking to make my friend my pseudo therapist right now.โ you joked.ย
โI know I know, just reminding you. Youโve got me, โkay?โ Jesus, you could never get over how warm his smile made you feel.ย
โAlright, thanks Jakeโ You sighed out before slowly closing your door. After shutting it you immediately dropped to the floor, head buried into your knees. You hated this. You hated how without fail, no matter how long you avoided him, Jake Sim always managed to make butterflies spawn in your stomach and your heart to beat out of your chest. He always knew the right things to say and how to make you feel like the world stopped and purely revolved around the two of you. You hated how badly youโve fallen for Jake Sim.
To give some preface, the only times Jake and you had kissed were:ย
The first time youโd two ever hooked up when you were drunk out of your mind and too blacked out to remember a thing
The second time youโd hooked up; which technically wasnโt even a kiss because you stopped him as his lips ghosted over yours, almost connecting. You argued that it would be weird for you two to kiss since you only agreed on hooking up with each other, which you added did not involve kissing.ย
You two mutually agreed that your relationship would involve no kissing between the two of you. This however did not stop the fact that Jake refusing to kiss you at the party bugged you more than it should have, leading you to blurt out on a random Wednesday afternoon:ย
โYou didnโt kiss me.โ
Jake stopped midway through unbuckling his belt. โWhat?โ
โI mean, at Soobinโs party, you didnโt do itโ your eyes glued down to the bed sheets while your hands came up to fiddle with the ends of your hair โI mean you kissed Karina, why not me?โ
โI meanโฆI can kiss you now if you want?โ
โYeah but then youโd only be kissing me because I asked you to do it.โ you grunted out in annoyance โBut when you were told to kiss me in front of others you didnโt, but you could kiss Karina so easilyโ
โI thought you didnโt want me to kiss you?โ Jake countered, his tone becoming more argumentative.ย
โWhen did I ever say that?โ you tried to say nonchalantly, but instead your words spat out like an accusation. Fuck what were you doing?ย
โYeah okay well, kissing her meant nothingโ Jake said in a bit of an exasperated sigh, his brows slightly furrowing together. Well Jake knew it wasnโt just that, but hell who was he to bring that up right now
โYeah well, weโve been fucking for 6 months, not like that means anythingโ For some reason this stung a bit for Jake, god he hated that it did.
โYN why does it matter.โ he retorted back, the question coming out sharper than he intended
โTechnically Iโm saying it doesn't.โ you let out a slightly stifled breathy laugh in an attempt to break the tension, obviously it doesnโt work โWhat do you not want to kiss me or something?โ
No. God no it was the complete opposite. That was practically the only thing heโd thought about for the past month. But Jake couldnโt admit this now, first off to save him from looking like some desperate loser, and second: you just went on to elaborate on how kissing him meant virtually nothing to you. That them kissing was nothing. Jesus, how could he tell you only now that to him, it was something.
The silence filling the room meant one of the two things you concluded: Jake was either mustering up the courage to give you the best kiss of your life or he did not want to be anywhere near your lips. You opted for the latter.
โIโll take that as a no.โ, you swiftly got up from your previous straddled position to grab your designated โwalk of shameโ hoodie and collect your things. Clearly, this wasnโt going anywhere. โIt's fine Jake really. Just forget I ever asked. It was stupid, and uh, Iโve got practice so I think iโll get goingโ you said absently while touching up your makeup
Jake hastily buckled his jeans back up and pulled his grey crewneck over his head. But you were practically out the door before he could finish. โWait, YNโฆโ he called out stumbling behind you trying to catch up
โJake, seriously just drop it. It was stupid okay. And Iโve actually got a lot of stretching to do today, so Iโve gotta get going.โ You attempted to make the end sound cheery and like you totally didnโt have a lump forming in the depth of your throat. To your dismay, emotions ended up getting the better of you and the words left your tongue stung with bitterness.
โYN Iโm sor-โ he attempted to stutter out, but you were obviously not hearing him through. โBye Jake.โย
God, she couldnโt even look at me when leaving.
โBye.โ Jake let out defeatedly, only to be met with the slam of a door in his face.
โfuckโฆโ you both thought.
โYN come on youโve been cooped up in the dorm for weeks! Letโs go out tonight, I doubt Jake will even be at the party. Besides you were on my ass about not going with you last time, now the invitation is practically handed to you on a silver platter and you donโt even accept it?!โ Zuha said as she rolled next to your curled up body that laid like a corpse on your bed. She was right though, you spent the next few weeks skipping all your classes and only going out to eat and go to practice that the colour from your face was practically drained. You looked like a total zombie to put it lightly.ย
โYeah I wonโt, Iโm not in the mood to go out tonightโย
โYouโre never in the mood! Come on, what good is it to stay stuck in your room pitying yourself while bingeing K-dramas? Thatโs never gonna help you get over it, a couple of drinks is what you need!โ you partly blamed Kazuha for your excessive drinking, she always managed to help you get out of a heartbreak by getting you blackout drunk.ย
โUgh Zuha, who's even going to be at this party anyways? Isnโt it the same old people?โ you argued before pulling the covers over your head in hopes it would magically make you disappear from sight.ย
โNo actually itโs not, a couple of people from SM are hosting. You know, the uni Minjeong goes to? I heard SM parties are like, next level. And besides you can meet some new people, donโt you think thatโs the perfect way to help you get over this loser?โ
โHey, he isnโt a loser!โ, you quickly argued, springing up from your previously snuggled position, โjust like- yeah anyways not the point. I guess, maybeโฆit would help?โ
Before you could even finish your thought Zuha immediately pulled you up and sprung into action. โOkay, perfect. Here, wear this.โ she said before tossing pieces of clothing at your face.ย
Holding them up you werenโt even sure if she gave you a proper shirt, it was way more revealing than you were used to. โDid you cut this shirt up or something?โ
โNo, I didnโt you prude. And besides, don't you wanna look cute? Those SM guys wonโt know whatโs hit them. Trust me.โ she said while absently applying lip gloss.ย
Hesitantly you wiggled into the outfit before checking yourself out in the mirror. No matter how hard you tried you couldnโt even convince yourself that you felt confident. Maybe some makeup would help. Propping yourself on the bathroom counter you began to cake on layers of foundation, blush, and eyeshadow. Finishing it off with a muted pink lip.ย
This is good, youโre fine! Youโre going to have fun tonight. You muttered under your breath, repeating it like a mantra. God you hoped you could have fun tonight.ย
Entering the apartment you were immediately hit with a wave of loud music blaring through your ears, god you couldnโt even hear what Zuha was saying right next to you. She was right, SM parties are next level. You could see a couple people gathered round a table playing beer pong, seeing Minjeong and a few other familiar faces. You decided to join them, and despite being the worst one there you had to admit it was really fun. Now that a few drinks were in your system you seemed to loosen up, completely forgetting about the worries that had plagued your mind this morning. You grabbed a drink and made your way over to the kitchen where you spotted Zuha and Heeseung talking. Hold on, Heeseung? If heโs here thenโฆย
You scanned the apartment, eyes wandering to the living room where numerous people seemed to be chatting away enthusiastically. Moving further into the area your eyes darted across each face trying to spot your target, and that was when you saw him. There he was, red solo cup in hand, looking directly at you.ย
Shit, you were gonna kill Zuha, what was Jake doing here? You scrambled to try and get away from him after making eye contact, but before you could slip away you felt a hand grab your wrist. God damn it.ย
โYN, can we talk?โ Jake begged with pleading eyes, fuck youโd never seen him this desperate, โplease.โย
You nodded your head slightly before he dragged you to an empty room.
โOkay you said you wanted to talk, so talk.โ you demanded, still slightly buzzed. Your confidence fueled with alcohol and sheer pettiness
โListen,โ Jake said before pausing to collect his thoughts, โIโm sorry for, well yeah all of it. I shouldnโt have kissed Karina that night, itโs just we arenโt exclusive or anything so I figured-โย
โYeah we werenโt, but honestly Jake I couldnโt give less of a fuckโ a bold-faced lie. Jake scoffed, he was trying to patch things up and you were seriously giving him this attitude?ย
โYeah sure sounds like itโย
โYeah I donโt, I just think itโs messed up that you donโt kiss me and then proceed to call yourself my boyfriendโย
โPlease, that was because Seunghan was bothering you! What was I supposed to do just let a creep keep harassing you? Do you even remember what happened that night YN?โย
โNo and as I said I couldnโt give a fuckโย
โWell, I do. You canโt just tell me you like me and pretend it was nothingโ fuck so he did remember
โOkay well,โ You stuttered out, anger simmering within you โI was drunk. I wasnโt in my right mind that night, so yeah it was nothing. Why does it even matter if I like you or not, you said from the start that what we had was casual.โย
God were you serious right now? Jake could feel his heart hurt a little and his previously confident stance faltering, โYeah well we obviously havenโt been acting very โcasualโ as of late.โย
โWhy does that even fucking matter Jake, I donโt know why you care so much!โย
โObviously because I fucking caught feelings!โ Jakeโs mouth seemed to work faster than his mind. Shit did he seriously just admit that.ย
Everything stopped, and your gaze softened for a split second. What. He likes me? He likes me. Fuck, why would you even say all that shit in the first place? You couldnโt even sustain a casual relationship how the fuck were you meant to maintain a real one? This is stupid.
โThis is stupid.โ you blurt out finally โI canโt handle a relationship right now Jake, hell I couldnโt even handle a casual one. No way we could ever be a real thing.โย
โI thought you liked me.โ Jake muttered
โSo what if I do Jake? Look at us right now, I canโt even confess to you without running away from it. Iโm not good for you Jake. I wouldnโt be able to make us work and-โ
โAre you not even willing to try!?โ Jake interrupted, tears slowly brimming in his eyes. Fuck, you couldnโt bear seeing him cry.
โNot if Iโll just hurt you in the process!โ you shouted meeting his glossy eyes with your own โIโm sorry Jake.โ And with that, you stormed past him out the room, out the door, down the stairs, and booked it back to your dorm.
Much like the first time you met, Jake Sim stood there watching you run out on him, again. Fuck.
Ice cream, americanos, and 2521.
This was how you would spend your days now that you and Jake were officially over. Well itโs not like you didnโt hangout with your other friends as well, you tried really, but even with them you couldnโt get rid of the sickeningly hollow feeling that brewed in the pit of your stomach. You felt much more content alone in your dorm room accompanied by Nam Joo Hyuk and Kim Tae Ri. Or maybe you were just trying to ignore the empty feeling in your chest for as long as you could before heading to sleep. Whether it be escapism or satisfaction, youโd become accustomed to your new little routine. That was until one fateful Saturday afternoon.ย
You begrudgingly got up from your comfortable position after hearing a couple of knocks on your dorm room door. Hair a mess and wearing a 2 week old set of pyjamas, you honestly couldnโt care less who was at your door. Expecting to see Kazuha you unlocked it without thinking too much, however you were only greeted with Park Jongseong staring straight at you.ย
โOh Jay! Hey,โ you exclaimed suddenly, becoming all too aware of your unkempt appearance. โWhat are you doing here? Were you looking for Kazuha or something because she just left for practice an-โ
โActually Iโm here for you.โ Jay cut in, โCould I come in?โ his lips pressed together in a thin line and his hands were tucked away in his pockets.
โOh, umโ taken aback slightly by the question you stumbled over your words as he watched you expectantly โ...yeah yeah sure, itโs sorta a mess though.โ you admitted before moving aside to let him in.ย
โSo, whatโs up?โ you exhaled before returning to your position leaning back on your headboard
โHave you um, talked to Jake at all recently?โย
And there it was. Fuck you knew he would ask about Jake. โNo, actually.โ
โAh yeah, I figured.โ his eyes still awkwardly scanning the room โHeโs been kinda out of it too, not really going to out with us anymo-โ
โIf youโre just here to tell me about how badly I hurt him, you can save it.โ
โWait wait no I wasnโt! Just, okay- hear me outโ he reasoned before grabbing a chair to sit in front of youย
โI know you guys had that whole argument before. And I donโt blame you, I probably would've been pissed too. But as I said, Jake is an absolute mess. And in no way am I here to make you feel bad for him, or anything! Just like- YN Iโll be straight with you. Jake has never liked a girl this much. Like, ever.โ
Feeling your heartbeat flutter more ever so slightly, you glanced up to make eye contact with Jay. โAhโฆโ
โYeah and, considering the fact I had to basically nurse him through his first breakup in highschool where he claimed his life was over. I think Iโm a pretty reliable source right now. Point is, Jake was like head over heels over you. Still is. Despite being really tired from practice he would always try and run to the convenience store to stock up on your favourite foods. And even before you guys started this whole thing, the day you ran out of his dorm room, I swear that man was an inconsolable mess. Every moment not spent with you, he spent with us talking about how much fun he had with you.โ he paused briefly to let you soak in all the things he had just admitted
โAnd I know I donโt know you as well as he does, nor am I close with you like, at all. But from the look in your eyes you had whenever you were with him, I think you liked him a lot too. And just saying, I donโt think Jake is totally opposed to the idea of you guys dating even after that whole incident at the party. Heโs still willing to tryโฆโ he trailed off before getting up from his previously sat position, โHeโs playing in tonightโs game so, think about it?โ he concluded with a slight shrug
Quite honestly you were at a loss for words here, I mean you knew Jake liked you but you didnโt truly know the extent of it. You were obviously still scared about meeting Jake again but a small part of you had hope he was still as forgiving as Jay claimed.
โThanks Jay, Iโll see.โ
This was a bad idea.ย
You couldnโt believe Jay Park had convinced you to dress up all pretty just to sit through an insufferable game of soccer where you had no idea what was going on. Well, he didnโt really tell you to do all that, but you reasoned to yourself passing the blame would probably make you feel better about the fact that this was how you were spending your Saturday night.ย
Legs crossed over each other and eyes shooting across the field, you couldnโt really make out anything that was happening. Despite going to a university for sports you sadly had no interest in anything that involved throwing, kicking, or hitting balls around a large empty space.ย
You were internally debating whether any of this was worth it in the first place, the game was almost over there was so there was really no harm in leaving now anyways. That was until your eyes locked with an awfully familiar face. There he was, clad in a navy blue jersey, sweat making his skin glisten and a few strands of hair stick to his forehead, running across the field chasing after the ball. And just like that, you felt like you fell for Jake Sim all over again.ย
You could deny that even if you had no interest in the sport, Jake made it look infinitely exhilarating. Suddenly drawn in you found yourself at the edge of your seat the entirety of the last half of the game, cheering and clapping whenever Decelis scored a point. It was the final few minutes and Decelis and SM were neck and neck, both scoring a total of 10 points each.ย
The ball spiralled across the field before landing in front of Jake. Steps fueled with determination he dribbled the ball further and further across the court with speed and intensity youโve never witnessed before. Fire blazing with every step he took, he skillfully planted his foot on the ball before striking it in the opposing team's goal post.ย
โAnd a score from Jake Sim! Ladies and gentlemen with only 20 seconds remaining of the game we may have our winners!โ The commentator's voice echoed across the stadium, the crowd erupting into shouts and cheers.ย
After what seemed like an eternity, the referee finally blew the whistle to announce the end of the second half, crowning Decelis the official winners of this match. The team rushed towards Jake before engulfing him in hugs and showering him with compliments. Jake let out a wide grin in response, his smile beaming brightly across the field. You missed seeing that side of him.
Making your way down the stadium steps, you rushed over to the field in hopes to catch him before his team swept him away. Unfortunately, around 20 other people seemed to have the same idea as you. Being drowned out by the crowd gathered around Jake Sim you somewhat lost hope in any chances of you speaking to him tonight. Itโs fine, right? You had plenty of other chances to talk to Jake. However, whether it be fate working in mysterious ways or the glint of your silver hair clip, Jake's eyes caught sight of someone tucked away behind the crowd.ย
Recognising you instantly, his heart began to palpitate ever so quickly and the confidence he adorned earlier vanished in an instant. Not wanting to ignore the other people surrounding him he mouthed a quick โWaitโ before politely finishing up his conversation with the rest of his team.ย
Pushing slightly through the slowly diminishing crowd Jake made his way towards you and tried to ignore the way his hands instantly became clammy while his heart was beating out his chest. Mustering every bit of courage he had left of him he let out a strained โHey YN.โ
โHi Jake,โ you started awkwardly, โCould we um, talk for a bit?โ
โYeah sure but-โ he reached to the nape of his neck beginning to look around, โmaybe not here? We could go back to my apartment if you want, the guys are going to the afterparty and Iโm not really interested.โ
โOh uh,โ your heart jumped a bit at his sudden request but after calming yourself down you responded, โyeah, sure. That sounds good.โ
The walk back to his place was admittedly one of your more awkward ones, silence filling the atmosphere as you two were both obviously too scared to start any conversation before reaching his apartment. Said silence remained as you made your way into his building, following him around while your eyes layed fixed to the floor.ย
Clearing his throat as he shut the door, he decided he should be the one to break the awkward tension between you two. โYou wanted to talk to me about something?โย
โOh right. Um about the other night, Iโm really sorry I justโฆโ all the lines you had practised earlier in the shower now had completely slipped your mind, leaving you to run short of things to say, standing there after an uncomfortably long pause.ย
โYN itโs fine, I totally understand you not wanting anything between us anymore I get it really-โ
โNO THATโS NOT IT!โ hands reaching up in front of your chest before you noticed how disastrously frantic you sounded, โWhat I was going to say was-โ you started before letting out a deep breath. God you really had to get a hold of your nerves.
โWhat I wanted to say was, well what Iโve been planning to say- is that I was wrong. And Iโm sorry for saying all that shit that night, I was scared shitless if Iโm gonna be honest. Also admittedly, really buzzed. That obviously doesnโt really make up for it, but, yeah. Anywaysโ Iโm getting side tracked.โ you mumbled before shaking your head to snap yourself back into it.
โI told you before, but I have a very big problem with running away from anything that doesnโt have a solid 100% success rate. And relationships kinda are a big part of that? I think Iโm seriously out of my mind for saying this, and hell all of this seems incredibly crazy to me. But I justโฆhave to get it out. Iโm willing to bet on, maybe not a 100% percent success rate for you Jake. I donโt care if itโs 10, 20, 30 or in the negatives. Iโm willing to take that risk for you Jake.โ
One beat passed, then two, then another. You stood there in agony waiting for Jake to respond with anything. A yes, a no, a laugh in your face, god you just wanted him to speak.ย
โPlease say somethingโ you winced.ย
โSorry Iโm just- I just- well Iโve never really had anyone ask me out before? So, I kinda am at a loss for words right now, you know?โ Jake paused to look up at your hopelessly distraught image, โYou are asking me outโฆ right?โ
โYesโฆI think so and Iโve truthfully never done this either.โ you replied sheepishly, eyes still stuck on the hardwood flooring.ย
โWell YN,โ his hand reached for your chin to lift your head upwards so you were eye level with him, โI would love to go out with you.โ he said with a gentle smile. The same smile that had you weak in the knees everytime.ย
โOh thank fuck.โ you sighed out in relief. Jake couldnโt help but giggle at the sight of all tension leaving your body. He moved his body closer to you to corner you against the kitchen countertop before moving in to whisper, โCan I do this now?โ
โDo what?โ
โThis.โ and with that he slowly closed the distance between you two to press his lips gently on top of yours before his hand reached over to cup the back of your head. It took a moment for you to register what he was fully doing, but as if he had full control over your body you melted into the kiss like butter. Lips moving feverishly against his, your hands reached over to grab his arm and pull him even closer towards you. There was barely breathing room between the two of you, your bodies moving perfectly in sync. Sighing into the kiss as his mouth parted against yours; you swore you werenโt religious but if this was what heaven felt like, you were willing to rethink your choices.ย
Slowly parting from him, his lips seemed to still chase after yours as if it was attached to your mouth with a string. You let out a small giggle, redirecting your gaze at his eyes. They were glistening with a warmth youโd seen countless times before, except this time you truly knew it was meant for you. You moved your arms over to loop around his neck whilst cocking your head to the side in amusement.ย
โGuess people canโt call you a loser now?โย
โYou know damn well I never was,โ he chuckled out, tone still low and hushed, โCโmereโ he exhaled before kissing you again with even more passion and intensity than before. You smiled into the kiss allowing him to manipulate your body like butter.ย
Who knew the physics nerd had it in him huh?
thoughts frm yuya ๐ญ hai everyone! omg this is finally out ๐ญ i think i grinded this fic out in like a week so i do apologize if it's bad ๐ anyways i hope you guys enjoy it since it's my first really long fic ^^ i said this before but i'll prob go on a short hiatus since i've got my finals coming up, maybe coming back by the end of may or middle of june? nonetheless I will still try and be active on here, just no posting or new works, but i might try to queue some works up so TT hope you guys enjoyed the fic >< feedback and reblogs appreciated !
taglist โโโ โ @yerisrev, @nwjws, @jlheon, @k1ttylvr @iiaweirdo @mokangelic @jvjsssnaa @ms-no1kpopstan @caeqey @saursoob @shinrjj @m3chigo @eneiyri @shnnzsworld @heelariously @felixslove @vixensss @laurradoesloveu @atrirose @anormieee @jaklvbub @leep0ems @river-demon-slayer @minniejenseo @thing89 @ineedsomezzz @riksaes @iheartjayke @jinnibug @kookify @roastandtoast @fakeuwusย @junityyย @ak-aaa-li @letwiiparkjay @kashuannn @floweryang @bywons @dimplewonie @ginakam @hearts4itoshi @nctislifue @chaeyunloveeee (if ur name is bold that means i unfortunately couldnโt tag u TT)
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๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐: ๐ฌ๐๐ก๐ง๐ฌ๐ฎ๐๐ก๐ญ
เฟ ๐ฉ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ : ๐๐ข๐ฆ ๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ง ๐ฑ ๐๐๐ฆ!๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ซ
เฟ ๐ ๐๐ง๐ซ๐: ๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐๐ง๐ญ!๐๐ (๐ก๐'๐ฌ ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ), ๐ง๐๐ข๐ ๐ก๐๐จ๐ซ๐ฌ/๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฌ!๐๐, ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐!๐๐; ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐๐ฅ๐ฎ๐๐, (๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ฎ๐ซ๐) ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ
เฟ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ: ๐๐ค (not propfread im sorry it's lit 2am)
เฟ ๐ฐ๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: ๐จ๐ซ๐๐ฅ (๐. & ๐ฆ. ๐ซ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ), ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐๐ข๐ซ๐ฌ๐ญ ๐ญ๐ข๐ฆ๐ ๐๐ฑ๐ฉ๐๐ซ๐ข๐๐ง๐๐๐ฌ ๐ฌ๐จ ๐ข๐ญ'๐ฌ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ ๐ข๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ญ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐ฒ
เฟ ๐ฌ๐ฒ๐ง๐ฉ๐จ๐ฌ๐ข๐ฌ: ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐ฒ๐๐๐ซ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ก๐ข๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ข๐ง ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐๐ข๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐ฒ ๐จ๐ ๐ซ๐๐ข๐ฌ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ, ๐๐๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ง ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ ๐ก๐ข๐ฆ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ก๐๐๐ ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ฌ ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฌ๐ฐ๐๐๐ญ ๐๐จ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐๐ ๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ฎ๐๐๐ง๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ญ ๐๐จ๐จ๐ซ...
โ ๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐ข๐จ๐ฎ๐ฌ โ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ซ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ โ ๐ง๐๐ฑ๐ญ โ
As soon as Jaeyun's response pops up on your screen, you barely manage to type one out yourself, throwing your phone to the side to get yourself dressed as quickly as possible.
You know your eagerness and enthusiasm is because you haven't seen him properly in three days, something you do regret yet can't change and somehow feel grateful for. The physical distance gave you enough time and space to sort your messy thoughts out and calm yourself down, knowing it would have ended in an even bigger disaster if you hadn't made this decision. Of course it broke your heart and even without denying him your presence you knew Jake regretted his decision, but you simply couldn't handle the anxiety and worry it came with, which is why you're actually relieved to have chosen this way.
It's not like you avoided your boyfriend and his younger brother, however you also didn't go out of your way to actively spend time with them. The little talks on the hallway when you ran into each other felt like torture and acting like everything was fine to make sure Seyun stays absolutely clueless was just as hard. Thinking of the way Jake was trying his best not to look at you, yet catching his pretty eyes roaming your face as soon as you looked up from your hug with the little one was and is still heartbreaking , which is why you're more than just ready to finally talk things out.
You also can't wait to finally listen to his voice and feel his touch, something you've been craving and missing for the past few hours in a way you can't even explain. Every single one of your thoughts is consumed by him, it's like your brain has refused to let anything else inside and you can't even get yourself to complain.
With a soft sigh you decide not to change out of your silky pyjamas, silently hoping you'll end up staying over anyway, so all you take with you are your keys and your phone. You decide to mute the device, slip into your crocs to make your way through the hallway and come to stand in front of the Sim brothers' door with your heart thrumming in your throat.
Similar to you, Jake decides to remain dressed in his sleepwear, mostly because he hasn't had a proper sleep in those three days you haven't seen each other but also because he didn't want you to feel uncomfortable or pressured.
The young parent tries his best to remain calm, maintain his composure and to fill his head with positive possible outcomes, but of course his anxiety absolutely refuses to let him have at least one moment of clearance.
All he's been doing was reflect on his decisions, to the point where he actually ended up dialing Chan's number to ease his worried thoughts, only to hang up right before he could hear his older brother's voice. Jaeyun simply couldn't bear the thought of talking to the man who has betrayed him, also because he knew the whole conversation would have pushed him even deeper into those dark thoughts. Since Heeseung had decided to keep his distance to him as well, Jake didn't want to risk anything, knowing there isn't anyone close by to be by his side.
The other three boys have definitely tried their best to be there for him, but asking them for anything felt inappropriate as they had enough on their plate and Jaeyun didn't want it to seem like he couldn't do this on his own.
Spending as much time with Seyun as possible has definitely helped him cope with this and even if the young parent went to bed with his face buried in his pillow to muffle his cries as soon as it all hit him again, he found himself being even more grateful for the little one's existence each time.
So after checking up on his younger brother one last time, Jake finally approaches their front door, sweaty hands, hair messily falling into his face and his bottom lip firmly tugged in between his lips. He doesn't wait for you to knock on the door, just unlocks and opens it, knowing he'd meet the sight of you right away, like a gut feeling.
However, he's definitely not prepared for your besuty to hit him the way it does.
His knees start to weaken, heart skipping a whole beat as he gulps harshly and tries hsi best to keep his mouth shut. And as if all those obvious reactions weren't enough, Jake could physically feel his body pumping all of his blood right into his lower body, silently announcing the slow and painful hardening of his sensitive cock.
But after having to deal with this particular reaction these past few momths, Jaeyun has managed to just ignore it and pray you won't notice it right away, so he can just hide it the way he usually does.
From the way you've got your hands balled into fist, Jake can tell just how tense you are and with a soft sigh, he steps away from the doorstep to let you through, definitely not expecting you to throw your arms around his neck and bury your face in his chest with the softest of cries.
"I'm so sorry", you whisper and finally inhale his beautiful scent, calming your nerves and finally throwing all those negative and anxious thoughts out until you feel the heaviness on your chest disappearing.
Jaeyun doesn't hesitate to indulge in the hug; wrapping his strong arms around your waist as he pulls you closer and closes his eyes with a single tear running down his cheek the second he loses himself in the feeling of pure relief.
You have no idea how long the two of you actually just stand at the door, holding each other after such cruel distance and just enjoying the feeling of being in each other's presence again.
Jake is the first one to pull away when he notices the coldness of your arms, quickly pulling you inside of his apartment before closing and locking the door behind you, his eyes quickly finding their way back into yours and for some reason you can't help but audibly giggle as soon as you meet his soft gaze.
"I missed you", you say and wait for him to come closer, your dyes hungrily roaming his body and gulping at the sight of his slightly exposed chest. You're not even trying to hide the way you're devouring him, just enjoying the sight of him in one of your favorite shirts because it never fails to give you the perfect glimpse of his toned torso.
"Eyes up here, pretty girl", Jake suddenly says and leaves you completely flustered with just a few of his words.
Without missing a beat your head shoots up to do as you're told and you hate the way you actually feel your insides twisting at the way your boyfriend just cheekily smiles at you.
"I missed you, too", he whispers and places a soft kiss to the corner of your lips, "so fucking much."
"Don't tease me", you hiss and push your hands into his thick hair, pulling his head back to give yourself access to the skin of his neck and losing yourself in the little grunt leaving his plump lips.
"We have to talk things out first, Baby", Jake says, yet lets his big hands roam your body hungrily, groping and kneading every bit of flesh he can get his hands on and making his adams apple jump from how hard he's gulping.
"Wanna make it up to you first", your voice is nothing but a whisper, "please, Baby, need you to cum for me so bad. It's all I could think about."
Jaeyun can't hide the expression of surprise grazing his features in response to your words, since you've been rather shy about actually voicing your desires. And he'd be a fool to let a chance like this just slip away.
That's how you find yourself stumbling into his room, quickly locking the door behind you before you pull him back into a sloppy kiss. It's nothing but a clash of teeth and tongues, both of you adamant to swallow every single drop of the other to make sure nothing goes to waste and the meoe he grunts and moans into your mouth, the more your panties start uncomfortably sticking to your drenched cunt.
Every now and then Jake tries to say something but eventually gives up to keep up with your hunger, his eyes rolling into the back of his head when you wrap your lips around his tongue and start sucking eagerly just how he likes it. By the time he pulls away to catch his breath, there's absolutely no point in hiding his raging hard on, especially considering his choice of pyjama pants.
You try to take it all in, but your head is completely empty. The only thing on your mind is the mental image of his cock in your mouth, something you've been thinking and daydreaming about for way too long.
Jake doesn't even realise how close you've pushed him to his bed, losing his balance before he comes to sit right on the edge of his mattress, just how you had planned, which is why you don't hesitate to drop to your knees and right in between his spread legs.
For a whole minute, the whole world comes to a stop.
You both try to catch your breathes and actually process what's about to happen, knowing this is going to be another first for the both of you.
"B-Baby", Jake stunbles over his words because he simply can't make up a single coherent sentence, struggling to say something like he's been hit by a ton of bricks and the second you reach for the band of his sweats, he instinctively tightens his grip on the sheets underneath him.
"Is this okay? I know I haven't done this before but I really โ wanna make you feel good", you ask and don't feel ashamed for the slight hesitation in your voice, knowing your boyfriend would never make you feel bad for it.
"Of course, pretty girl", Jake shoots back at you in an instant and helps you by pulling his sweats down his thighs, exposing himself in a way he's never done before and yet not for the first time in his life finds himself a little more insecure than usual.
However, your reaction basically wipes away every doubtful thought he's ever had of himself as your eyes widen and your teeth nervously dig into your bottom light at the sight of his hard cock.
It's...pretty.
You know that's probably the worst word to use to describe male genitalia, but there's absolutely nothing else that comes to your mind the longer you let your eyes take it all in.
He's big, bigger than average (something you know because the girls have never hesitate to talk about it next to you, with visual proof of course), with veins adorning the whole length up until his leaking tip. You try your best not to stare but you physically can't stop yourself from admiring just how clean and actually visually appealing it looks. You've seen your fair share of dicks over the time, you're a grown woman after all, yet none of those are even close to the sight of Jake's and within a second you find yourself even more intimidated than before.
"Say something, please", Jake suddenly mumbles and scratches his neck nervously, his eyes lingering on your lips before he forces himself to meet your gaze.
"So pretty", you whisper and place both of your hands flat on his toned thighs, the skin smooth underneath your fingertips, his cock twitching from the sudden skinship.
"Pretty?" Jake can't hold back a little smile from spreading on his lips and all you can do is nod frantically in response.
"Go ahead then, Baby", he whispers and reaches down to hold your face in one of his hands, "do whatever you want, yeah? Whatever you feel comfortable with."
You nod and place a soft kiss in his palm before you lift your right hand to wrap it around his length, something you'd already done before, since you two had deicded to take it a bit further the last time you stayed over, which resulted in your hand in his boxers and a messy handjob Jake had guided you through.
But this time it feels different because there's absolutely no barrier hiding him from you.
With almost practiced flicks of your wrists you gather the precum from his tip and use it to ease your strokes, quickly eliciting a deep groan from your boyfriend, who has already thrown his head back in absolute ecstasy.
Nothing has ever felt as good as your touch, something Jake has come to realise since the first time you made him cum in his pants. He knows it's because of how much you mean to him and every time you two are having intimacy, he finds himself even more grateful to have waited for the right person than usual. You make him feel special, cared for and desired; something he never dared to think about because he always thought he'd end up losing his firsts to unimportant one night stands just to get it over with.
And yet here he is. His throbbing cock in the hands of the prettiest girl he's ever laid his eyes on, who also just happens to be his first actual girlfriend and the one he's lost his heart to in the sweetest, most innocent way possible.
"Can I take it in my mouth?"
Those words push every bit of oxygen out of his lungs and leave him completely stunned. He knew where this was going when you got in between his legs, yet he still couldn't help but feel absolutely shocked of it being said out loud.
"Yes, pretty girl, of course. Do what feels right, yeah? I know you're going to make me feel good no matter what you do."
Jaeyun's words are encouraging and take away a lot of the worries roaming in your head, an ability of his you're more than just grateful for.
You try your best to remind yourself of all the things the girls and Sunoo had told you about giving head, something you never actually thought of doing yet haven't stopped thinking about ever since you had first gotten a taste of Jake Sim.
You quickly remember Jen's words about going with your instincts and doing what feels right to you, so you neevously wet your lips before you part them and hesitantly wrap them around his tip.
As soon as his brain manages to process the feeling of your hot mouth around his cock, Jake lets out a loud, raspy moan, throwing his head back yet again and unintentionally bucking up his hips and oushing just another inch into your open mouth. The sudden fullness definitely catches you by surprise but all you do is sigh and let your tongue glide over the salty skin, your cunt clenching in response to his deep noises of pleasure.
You try to look up to finally see all those expressions of his you had been daydreaming about, but are met with the sight of Jake covering his flushed face instead.
"I wanna see you", you say quickly and pull away, his cock throbbing in your hand and growing even harder with each of your strokes, "don't hide yourself from me, please."
Jake barely makes out your words as they're muffled from all the blood rushing into his brain and his heart thrumming in his throat, but obeying your request as soon as it finally reaches him.
His bottom lip is swollen and almost bright pink from all the biting, mouth slightly open because breathing through his nose isn't enough anymore, face flushed and covered in a thin layer of sweat, which is still thick enough to make his hair stick to his forehead. His eyes are glossy and full of desire, never once leaving yours as he feels his orgasm slowly climb up his spine.
"More, Baby", he whispers and reaches for your hand, which ishas now tightened its frip on his thigh, "wanna cum in your mouth, please."
You nod again, his request a copy of yours and from the way his voice has become slightly higher pitched and raspy, you can tell he's close already. You hate how much pride you take in it, considering it's the action itself and not you which has him on the edge like this.
"F-Fuck", Jake suddenly groans as you take even more of his cock into your mouth, remembering the way Sunoo had told you to let your spit run down his shaft to make it easier for you and more pleasurable for him, "just like that, pretty girl. You're doing so fucking well."
His praise has your eyes rolling into the back of your head and you subconsciously go back to sucking his tip into your mouth, using your hand for the remaining part of his cock to give him the stimulation he needs.
Jake is definitely surprised by your knowledge but considering he also talked to his experienced friends about this to prepare himself, he's pretty sure you're either a natural or went the same road as him. However, his brain is way too fogged up and cloudy from all the adrenaline rushing through his veins, falling deeper and deeper into the haze of his pleasure.
You don't trust yourself to take more than half of him into your mouth, the fesr of gagging around his length and fucking it all up just too present, but from the way Jake's been tensing up underneath your touch for the past minute, you know he won't need you to do it.
Profanities in the form of moans and grunts fall past his swollen lips, his hands tightely fisting the sheets underneath him as he bucks hi hips up to meet the movements of your head and you slowly feel yourself growing more and more lightheaded from the sounds he's making.
"C-Close", he suddenly warns you and as if he had pushed just the right button, you toghten your grip around his cock just a little and simultaneously take as much of him into your mouth as you can, hallowing your cheeks to suck on him in a way that feels enough.
Jake doesn't even process the following few seconds as the coil in his stomach finally snaps and the first waves of his orgasm start breaking down on him. Raspy moans, deep grunts and guttural groans are the only thing to fill the thick air of his bedroom, just a few additions to the heavenly feeling of his cock twitching in your hand before he finally cums inside of your mouth in three thick and long spurts.
You're surprised just how much you're enjoying yourself, no hesitation in sight as you swallow his cum in one go and continue sucking on his tip, but stopping the movements of your hand.
"Oh, my fucking God", Jake breathes and finally looks at you again, his pretty eyes wide and glossy, and so full of adoration, it actually warms your heart.
"Come here." It's something between a request and a demand as he reaches for your arms. and gently pulls you up to straddle his lap. For some reason you suddenly feel shy and even a little bit embarrassed, you just swallowed his cum like it wasn't your first time.
"You're so fucking amazing, Baby", he whispers and pulls you into a sloppy kiss, hungrily sucking on your tongue and swallowing every single one of your noises.
"Thank you, Jaeyun", you reply softly and caress his chest, suddenly craving the feeling of his soft skin underneath your fingers, "want me to wash up first before we-"
But Jake doesn't let you finish your sentence, just pushes you onto his bed and getting comfortable between your parted legs. Jusg the close proximity is enough to make you gasp for air, but it's the way he's looking at you with starved eyes, which makes you dizzy.
"I wanna eat you out so bad, Baby", he suddenly says and never once averts his gaze from yours, leaving you absolutely speechless.
"Wanna try and make you cum all over my tongue", Jake has always had his way with words, something you always happen to be reminded of in moments like these and you're definitely not going to complain about it.
"Please, Jae", you beg and let out a soft whimper, your eyes falling shut at the feeling of his stil slightly hard cock firmly pressed against your drenched, yet clothed cunt.
Jake doesn't waste another second, just gives you one last kiss and then makes his way in betwen your legs as soon ss he gets your okay. Before you can even question anything else, he's pulled your shorts as well as your panties down your legs, carelessly throwing them to the side and then doing what you had done just a few minutes prior.
Jake has been daydreaming of this particular moment for the past few weeks in a way he's never done before and now that he finally gets to have a look at your pussy, he feels his mouth actually watering the longer he takes in just how perfect you are.
You're wet. The flesh of your pretty cunt is basically drenched in your juices and you're clenching desperately around nothing, the sight easily eliciting a grunt from his throat and if it wasn't for what his friends had told him, he would have just went for it right away.
But Jake knows you're sensitive. You've only recently felt someone else touch you like this and even when you had guided him through your self pleasuring process to help him, you could barely form a proper sentence as soon as he had started rubbing your clit. By the time he had two fingers knuckle deep buried inside of you, nothing but whimpers and moans were leaving your pretty mouth.
"So pretty", Jake whispers and starts placing open mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, his hands greedily groping the soft flesh, "so wet and ready. Is that all for me, Baby?"
All you can manage to get out is a shaky whisper of his name, your brain already clouded by arousal and the natural urge to cum as you subconsciously try to distract yourself from the embarrassment of being so exposed to your boyfriends hungry eyes.
Jake just chuckles at the way your whimpers become louder and louder with every single kiss, until you slap your own hand over your mouth to muffle your noises and in literally every other situation Jake would have stopped you from doing it, but he simply can't risk a certain someone actually waking up, which is why he has to remain silent.
You simply don't expect the feeling of his wet thumb on your sensitive clit, the sudden pressure and stimulation driving you absolutely crazy and you love the way it feels nothing but absolutely perfect.
"Good girl", Jake mumbles and rubs gentle circles into your little bundle of nerves, your guidance from last time still very present in his mind, "want me to put a finger in already, pretty one?"
Jaeyun knows his words barely make it through to you, head thrown back, chest rising and falling unsteadily, nipples poking through the fabric of your flimsy shirt and your back arched to push yourself even further into his touch. So sinful, yet an actual sight from heaven to the young man's eyes.
Your boyfriend waits just a few more seconds for a response before he knows how far you're gone already, so he calmly pushes his ring finger inside of your tight hole, his cock instantly throbbing as he finally gets to lose himself in the sweet feeling of your cunt clenching around his digit.
It doesn't take long for him to be knuckle deep, your wetness makibg it a lot easier for him and absolutely not painful for you.
"Am gonna use my mouth now, Baby", Jake says calmly, looks up at you and smiles softly when you lift your head to nod at him with pouted lips.
And after a few seconds of hesitance, he pulls his hand away, his finger remaining inside of you as he licks his way from your hole all the way up to your sensitive clit, instinctively wrapping his lips around the little bundle of nerves and sucking it into his mouth as gently as possible.
A row of your gasps and muffled whimpers are now the ones to fill the silence of his bedroom and your cunt clenches even harder around his finger as he repeats the actions, changing the movement of his tongue and slowly trying to find just the right things to do to push you closer to the edge.
Jake remembers the boys' emphasis on the perfect combination of gentleness and pressure, and the way they had told him what to do with the tip of his tongue once he's figured out your preferred amount of stimulation. With that particular conversation on his mind, he hardens the tip of his hot muscle and presses it against your sensitive clit, moving his head to push against it the way he'd do it with his thumb and as you whimper with each movement, Jake knows he's somehow figured it out.
You have absolutely no idea how he knows exactly what to do, but you don't want him to stop either way. Your brain is completely empty, the only thibg you can activately focus on is the way the knot in your lower stomach has been getting tighter and toghter for the past few minutes. Every single one of his gentle thrusts, the feeling of his finger pushing against the spongy walls of your cunt just how you had showed him making your eyes roll into the back of your head and pulling nee sounds from your throat from all the pleasure floating through your system.
You both know you're about to cum and you're actually surprised because from what the girls had told you, they usually never finished from just receiving head, but then you remember who the guy between your legs is and it just makes sense.
"F-Fuck", now you're the one who can barely hold back those profanities and you warn yourself another one of Jake's big smiles, yet this time his eyes are hooded, face flushed and your juices coating his cheeks and running down his chin as well as probably his neck.
"It's okay, Baby", Jake whispers and goes back to rubbing you clit with his thumb, this time a little firmer than before, probably to distract you from the slight stretch of his pointer finger joining the middle one inside of you.
"S-So good, Jaeyun", you want to praise him too, want him to nnow how good he's making you feel but the feeling of being filled so well with just two digits and the perfect amount of pressure on your mosg sensitive spot has your head spinning like crazy, you're surprised you actually managed to say his name correctly.
"Go ahead then, pretty girl", he responds calmly and slowly picks up the pace of his thrusts, gently fucking your drenched cunt with his pretty fingers and pushing you as close to the edge as you can, "cum for me."
And those words were the last thing you needed for the knot in your stomach to finally snap and stumble into your orgasm with your head first. With every single wave of your high htting you, a loud whimper makes it way through your fingers and you don't even realise how much you've been tensing up from all the pleasure overwhelming your body.
You completely lose track of time because you physically can't get yourself to calm down from the best orgasm you had ever experienced, and if it wasn't for the suddenly feeling of emptiness in your cunt, you probably would have fallen asleep right then and there.
Jaeyun calmly watches the way you're slowly finding yojr way back to him, his hands caressing the soft skin of your legs before he subconsciously licks his fingers clean and plops himself down right next to you.
He doesn't wait for you to do the first move this time, just pulls you closer to his chest and holds you in his arms.
A few more minuges of absolute silence pass by, the heavy scent of sex lingering in the air and ends up the reason for your sudden decision to sit yourself up and just take your shirt off. Jake pouts when you come to lay back in his side again, knowing he gets to see your pretty tits whenever his heart desires because after the first time you had exposed them to him, you quickly realises jusg how much he loved them, and what kind of girlfriend would you be to deny him anything, right?
With a soft chuckle you bury your face in his neck and give him a soft kiss, quickly hiding underneath the blanket as soon as your boyfriend pulls it over your naked body and you can't help but sigh at the feeling of absolute comfort taking over you.
"Want me to run us a bath? If you're not too sleep, of course", Jake whispers againsg your forehead and follows the line of your spine with his fingers.
"That sounds great, Baby", you reply to look up at him only to take his face into your hands and kiss him gently.
And as you fall asleep with your boyfriend's face buried in your neck and his legs tangled with yours, you finally feel yourself at absolute ease in a way completely unique to Jake Sim. You might not have talked things out just yet but you're not worried about it, despite your tendency of overthinking basically everything.
Maybe it's because with Jaeyun everything seems to be so much essier or maybe it's because you know the two of you are always going to find a way to figure things out, but either way you decide to leave this question unanswered.
All you know is as long as you're with him, everything's going to be okay.
(A/N: I told you guys this particular experience was getting its own chap so here we go; tysm for the love and support ๐ฅบ feedback is very appreciated!๐งธ๐)
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